Squirm Happens || Uncomfortable Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes Podcast

Here we go. Here we go. We're rolling. Is this the first time you've gotten. into Reddit? >> I have been on Reddit for things. I have been on Reddit for things. >> for things? >> It's like it's like nowhere else will. tell you like is this water actually. better than the other waters? You know what I mean? Whenever you're. like well why am I paying an extra. dollar for this water? Or I'm like is this vitamin not is this. a made up vitamin? >> I feel like they all are.

>> Yeah. >> Well and then I learned I'm like a. multivitamin doesn't work cuz you're. supposed to take them. >> Cuz you're peeing it out or something? >> Well there's something weird where it's. like you have to take iron first but if. you take calcium before iron then your. body won't absorb the the iron and it's. like. >> is that even true? >> I'm not a scientist. >> Right. I'm oh shoot. >> [laughter]. >> Don't have that in the cards. >> I'll go on Reddit for like um I I like. all the like oh you know do sugar-free. gummy bears make you like [ __ ] your. pants? Kind of thing.

>> They do. >> They do. >> They absolutely do. And um sugar-free. Life Savers. apparently. >> Yeah. I haven't gone down that rabbit. hole. >> Well I've been down that rabbit hole. So. I guess it's more like um product. reviews like class action lawsuit like. >> Oh. >> What are we like banding together. against? >> Well you have some fans on Reddit. >> I do. >> You do. You have. >> assume. Well now I don't want to I don't want to. infuriate a Reddit army but I have a.

vision in my head of what who is on. Reddit in my mind they don't like me. >> Well they they do. They actually you've. turned a lot of people back onto. watching SNL. >> No. >> Yeah. Look at this look at this cute. little picture they shared of you on the. sub. And they just talk about some of. your amazing sketches mail in testing. service meatballs Chucky eyes eyes. >> came up a lot. >> Thank you. >> Glam vagina. >> Yes.

>> They love your drunk raccoon. Olivia. Rose. >> Okay. >> You're just a versatile little queen. they say. >> Well, I the one thing I've seen about. myself on Reddit against my will was. [laughter] my coworker James Austin. Johnson shared. on Twitter a Reddit thread I opened for. my friend 100 tricks point never who's. electronic musician who does all the. like he did the Marty Supreme soundtrack. and whatever. Okay. And he's like my. favorite musician ever and I'm like his. biggest fan and he asked me to open for.

him and I'm like so in my head I'm like. he's my boy, he's a freak, all of his. fans are freaks and so I did this like. crazy set opening for him and I think I. just didn't like prepare his audience. for what I was. >> No. >> They didn't know that there was going to. be a comedian all of a sudden there. there for an electronic music show. They. were there you know, they wanted to they. thought they were going to have a cool. night and I kind of uncooled the vibe. >> No. >> So James showed me this Reddit thread. that was like did anyone just see Sarah. Sherman open for. 100 tricks point never at the Paramount.

Theater that was like. the most humiliating. do. like I was humiliated for and it was. viral. There was a lot of people. talking. >> Oh my god. >> And then and then James shared it being. like LOLs and isn't this funny? And I was like is it? I don't know. [laughter]. >> I don't know about that. I love how you. kind of like to make people squirm. >> Yes. >> Cuz it's it's Sarah Sherman. It's like. it's in the name. Have you legally. changed yet? >> I should. >> You really should. What is your middle.

name? >> Sarah Nicole. Sarah Nicole is a nice old Jewish girl. from Long Island. Sarah Nicole. >> You could put squirm in there somewhere. >> I could. I could. >> But you really you know, you embrace. that in all of your your stand up and. your new special that came out with HBO. >> Yep. >> Which it's very squirmy. >> It's very squirmy. >> It's very. >> [laughter]. >> squirmy. >> what Reddit would think about that. >> That's a deep dive for another day. >> Deep dive for another day. >> But, I've picked stories for you today. that are just kind of like you hear them. and you just All you can do is just kind.

of squirm. >> Great. Great. Thank you. >> They're just kind of. uncomfortable, >> Cool. >> out there. >> Cool. >> And I think being, you know, the queen. of squirm, you're going to have good. takes on it. >> Oh, great. Okay. Awesome. >> Okay, let's dive in. >> [music]. >> This episode of Two Hot Takes is. presented by Credit Karma. You're on. your phone constantly. Shouldn't those.

bills count towards your credit? With. Credit Spark by Intuit Credit Karma, they do. Build credit history using. payments like phone bills or utilities. No debt, totally free, and missed. payments aren't recorded. Not all. lenders use TransUnion credit reports or. scores impacted by Credit Spark, but if. you're at or below 660 and looking to. build credit history, download Credit. Karma today and get the credit you. deserve. Okay, up first for us here. This is. coming from Am I the [ __ ] It is.

titled, "Am I the [ __ ] for not. removing my doormat because it scares my. neighbor's kid?". My wife and I, both 32, have been living. at our apartment for 4 years and are. both huge horror fans. We have had an Art the Clown doormat. from Spirit Halloween for 2 years now. It's not a Halloween decoration. It's. just what we like. Last month, around. the beginning of April, we had some. neighbors move in across from us. They. have two kids. One is a baby and one is. maybe 3 or 4 years old.

The first time we met them was a couple. of days after they moved in. We were all. bringing in groceries and I introduced. myself, shook hands, all of that. The dad says, "Still Halloween, huh?". >> Ugh. >> And I just laughed it off. Since then, we've come home four times. to them flipping our doormat. >> no. >> And we know it's them because we have a. ring camera. We were fine letting them do it and just. flipping it back until a couple of days. ago when we caught them doing it in. person.

We asked what the issue was, and. apparently their son is super afraid of. it. >> Yeah. >> Even though the kid was right there and. was acting completely fine. Not crying, not anything. The only one. that seemed agitated at all was the mom. who swore at us, rolled her eyes, and. was just generally unpleasant. Haven't. interacted with her much since. My wife. waited until they were inside and then. flipped it back over. I stayed out with the dad and talked it. over and he seemed fine. He said he.

understood it was our space and he would. talk it over with his wife and that his. son was old enough to understand that it. couldn't hurt him. This morning, we walked out and I saw. our doormat wasn't even flipped over. It. was thrown outside the stairwell. >> Oh. >> We live on the fourth floor, so it was a. very deliberate thing. My wife wants to. report it to management, but I'm just. tired about this. I kind of want to. throw it away, but I also want to keep. it. I don't know. I'm just confused, y'all.

>> This is interesting. I actually might. have a hot take. >> Let's go. >> Images are really powerful. Art the. Clown is a very powerful symbol in the. culture. I can imagine as a child, even. though this person is claiming like the. wife being a [ __ ] about it, >> Uh-huh. >> I can't imagine. as a child seeing such a powerful image. and being scared. And if like my cool. like [ __ ] badass dad flipped it over. for me, I would be like.

I would feel like protected. It's just a. very powerful image. >> I'm kind of with you. I mean, >> [sighs]. >> it's like a public space cuz Cuz a. hallway. >> Yeah. >> But like everyone does their own cute. little mats. >> Yeah. >> But I guess like. Have you I didn't know who Art the Clown. was. >> an amazing doormat. >> It's really cool. >> that as a kid, you would pass away. That's the scariest thing. Well, and I. love Art the Clown. Let me be frank.

>> I've never never met the guy. >> He you would not want to. >> Yeah. I yeah. >> And there's an interesting optical. illusion. So, I think you could put. whatever you want outside of your. apartment. Just know that someone might. be flipping it. >> I mean, I think the flip is fun. It's. the throw. It's the throw that then went. a little. >> drama. >> Are you Are you in New York? >> Yeah. >> Do you have neighbor drama? >> Um no, I actually have neighbor like. complete camaraderie and like familia. pizza. >> Okay.

>> with all my neighbors. My downstairs. neighbors I made my best friend move. downstairs for me. >> You struck gold. >> I know. And I love like I have like an. 80-year-old neighbor that I'm always. like checking in on being like, "Do you. need help with groceries?" And she's. like, "I'm fine. Like stop.". No, I love my. >> You're cute. >> I'm a little bit cute. One time I was. late for a work meeting and I was like, "Oh, sorry I'm late. I was helping my. 80-year-old neighbor up the stairs with. groceries." And everyone was like, "Nice. [ __ ] lie." And I wasn't lying.

>> [laughter]. >> You're like, "No, that's genuine, you. assholes.". >> But I like as someone who loves Art the. Clown, I just think if you're going to put Art. outside. your door, just know he's going to get. flipped or thrown. And that's okay. But like that's just it's just going to. get flipped and thrown. >> Yeah, is OP the [ __ ] though? I'd probably lean towards no. It's your. doormat. It's outside your door. You're. entitled to your little space there. >> When I was a kid, I read I was addicted.

to Goosebumps and they would scare me, the books. But I was addicted. And there was one. that scared me so bad. It was The Mask. where like the kid would put on a. Halloween mask and become transformed. like literally like the the somebody. stop me Jim Carrey style The Mask kind. of. >> Yeah. >> And it scared me so much that even the. cover of it I couldn't look at it. So I. made my mom put it in a drawer in the. house and then I got so scared of the. drawer in the house that I wouldn't even. go in the room where the drawer was. which severely limited my.

options [laughter] in my home. >> You just didn't want to get rid of the. book? >> Well, so then ultimately I did make my. mom throw it out and then I knew that. the book was in the trash and then I. made my mom take the trash out because I. was so scared of its presence. And it. was because of the image the cover. >> Do you guys do like little like. pictures? >> sure do. >> [laughter]. >> This image scared me so much. >> Which Goosebumps was it? >> It was The Mask. It's Goosebumps The. Mask. >> So it's like I can imagine You know what.

I'm saying? So like if this kid was as triggered by. the Art the Clown doormat as I was by. the book cover of the the mask. >> You get it. >> is doing an act of like community. violence. >> That could be a hot take for the day. >> And I I got into a big fight with my. boyfriend spoiler alert cuz I. went to Disneyland. Disney World. >> Which which state were you in? >> California Disneyland. >> moved to LA. I was like I want to go to.

Epcot Small World. It's a Small World. And I had the. I went to Disneyland I had the worst. time of my life cuz I was like tired. I. was like why do we have to stand. outside? >> Oh, girl. >> I know and I didn't know I didn't have. money for like a fast pass or something. But I wore my backpack. that had this like flower on the back of. it that looked like like a giant vagina. with like teeth. >> Oh. >> And my boyfriend was like you literally. can't wear that to Disneyland. That's. like rude.

And it's like rude to the children that. they who are seeing it. >> exposing them to something indecent. >> Yeah, and so I kind of I learned the. error of my ways. I did feel kind of bad. for exposing the children at Disneyland. in that way. How vagina-like was it? [snorts]. >> Like I'm in I'm envisioning a Venus. flytrap flower. >> It was a little more vaginal, but it was. like violent. It was like violent and. dripping with blood. And so I kind of. >> [laughter]. >> But I owned I owned that I was like, "You know what? My bad." So I kind of.

feel like OP is a little bit. >> Yeah. >> in my bad territory. >> Okay. I mean, kid is three to four. Like, that is scary. >> That is yeah, if the kid truly is indeed. scared, I would say like maybe take a. pause from the mat. If it's the mom and. it's like some like religious thing. where it's like, "Oh my god, that's. demonic.". >> Right. >> Then it's like you have to put them out. there and make their life a living hell. >> you got to hold your ground. >> Right. >> Did you ever see the Scary Stories to. Tell in the Dark books? >> the Edward Gorey drawings. >> Those were the ones that got me.

>> Yeah. >> And like the girl that had like the. ribbon around her throat and she undid. it and her head fell off. >> We did a SNL sketch where we do that. And cuz and everyone like knew the. reference because it was such a shocking. childhood like trauma memory that. everyone knew. Yeah. Awesome. >> Yeah, no. Okay, I need to go back and. watch that one. Top comment on it, report it so there's a trail of them. destroying your property. They will. continue to escalate. 17,000 upvotes on.

that. Uh a lot of not the [ __ ] So. overall vote on the post, not the. [ __ ] I've got five bucks that says. the kid doesn't care. Mom just likes a. certain aesthetic in her place. I'd be. Halloween-ing my door up and reporting. her butt. >> I think that Reddit, I'm just going to. say this largely is women hating, and I. just feel like everyone's finding a. reason to like hate a woman in this. scenario. >> Making it a a deal. >> Yeah. >> That's something like lately I would say. that sometimes the small stuff gets made.

to be a lot bigger. >> Sure. >> Okay, this next one here. This is coming from Am I the Jerk? It's titled, Am I the [ __ ] for ending. things and ghosting after finding out. she lied about her husband being dead? >> [laughter]. >> More than one ghost here, I see. >> I, 32 male, am married with two kids and. my wife and I have an open relationship. with her full knowledge. >> already a problem. >> With her full knowledge and agreement, I.

started seeing another woman who also. said she had two kids around the same. age as mine. She told me her husband had passed away. and she even showed me pictures of him. Over time, things got pretty serious and. we blended parts of our lives in a way. that honestly felt really natural. The. only thing that ever seemed off was that. we never went to her house, only mine or. out in public. Looking back, yeah, obvious red flag.

A few days ago, I randomly saw her out. shopping and she was with the same man. she told me was dead. I didn't approach her, I didn't cause a. scene, nothing. I just left and haven't. spoken to her since. I've basically cut. her off completely. My wife thinks I. should tell the husband what's going on, but I really don't want to get dragged. into her life or whatever mess she's. created. I feel like I've already been. lied to enough and I just want to move. on. Am I overreacting for ending things.

and ghosting her instead of confronting. her or telling her husband? >> Oh, this person should be in jail. That's jail. >> Lies. >> That is jail. >> That he's dead? >> God, may God rest everyone's soul. Like, you know when people are like, you know, oh, like lying about calling. off sick from work by being like there. was like something bad in the family. That's bad karma. That's really bad karma. >> I know. Or like, my grandma died and.

it's like, ooh, don't put that out in. the universe. >> Don't say that. >> Don't do that. Bad juju. >> the ghosting? I don't think this person should ghost. I think the person should call them and. be like, you're crazy. You are crazy. >> Uh-huh. >> You're crazy. >> Would you find a way to tell the. husband? >> Um, none of my business. I I just call. that person and be like, you're [ __ ]. crazy. You're a crazy person. Oh my god. >> Like I actually just confront her. >> Yeah.

>> That's it. See, I'm like I kind of want the husband. to know. >> Yeah. I mean, he should. >> Cuz like, if you have an open marriage, you don't lie and say your husband's. dead. >> Right. Right, she doesn't have an open. marriage. This person is a little bit of. a fool. Oh, you know. Oh, we've never been to. her house. That's weird. Right. >> I know. Well, then I'm like, are you. only at your house when your wife is. gone? Open relationships really like the. concept. >> No. >> I'm like, I don't know how people make. it work. >> They don't. >> I'm way too jealous. It's It's not.

working here. At least for her. But I'm like, did you bring her over when your wife. was there and like all your kids are. playing while you go upstairs? >> Also again, my question, do you have. jobs? How do you have this all this time. to just be. open all over the place? Who has time? >> I I. >> feel like we're just working too much. >> I think that's our problem. >> I know. >> we work too much to where like we can't. even have a hobby of like an open. relationship. >> Or a.

Maybe that's their hobby. >> I think so. >> I work, I have a one relationship, I. have friends and a family. That's. enough. >> [laughter]. >> Jesus Christ. These people. >> Top comment, not the [ __ ] for. ghosting in this situation. I can. understand being a bit lost for words in. the moment. If you do see them together. out and about again, please go in for. the cuddle to say hi. >> Oh. >> And then introduce yourself to the. husband. And when he replies, "I'm her. husband." you say, "I heard you were.

dead." And then walk away. >> I do think you are the [ __ ] for not. saying something because now she's going. to do it to someone else and you've just. created like a problem. >> So, are you team tell husband now? >> I mean, I was just Yeah, I guess. >> would you write a letter or would you. knock on the door? Like a little girl scout. >> like a girl scout. >> [laughter]. >> Hi. >> Hi. So, your wife's like a crazy [ __ ]. by the way. >> She's tells everyone you're dead.

>> That's terrible. >> So, we do get an update from this. person. >> Oh. >> They update us. >> Okay. >> Update on confronting the dead husband. Well, I didn't think at all that it. would be this soon. A lot of people told. me I should tell the husband. And. honestly, I didn't think I would. I just. wanted to disappear from the situation. and moved on. But life handled it for me. this morning. I saw him alone at a coffee shop before. work. I walked up to him and said, quote, "Hey, how'd you do it?" He looked. at me confused and said, "Do what?" I.

said, "Come back from the dead.". At that point, he just stared at me. completely lost. So, I sat down and. explained everything. >> No. Okay. >> I told him what she had told me. And she. said that he had passed away, showed me. a picture, and that we had been seeing. each other for months. Turns out, this. wasn't even close to the first time that. she's cheated. He told me there had been. affairs in the past. And apparently, one. of the kids might not even biologically. be his.

>> of it. He said she promised she was done. with all that. But I guess this time she. escalated into literally pretending he. died. >> Right. >> The guy was obviously upset, but weirdly. enough wasn't angry at me. He actually. apologized to me for what she did. >> Right. >> Which made me feel awful because he's. clearly been dealing with this for. years. >> Right. >> I told him he didn't owe me an apology. at all. We exchanged contact info. because I saved all the messages where. she talked about him being dead and he. may need them later if he goes through. with filing for a divorce.

Honestly, the whole thing feels insane. and sad now. >> If my boyfriend cheated, there would be. like an electric fence around our. apartment. He would have He would be. chipped. I would have his location I. mean I First of all, I have his location. and everyone I know's location on my. phone. >> Uh-huh. >> If you don't accept my location request, that's you're sus. Why can't I know. where you are at all times? So, it's. like I don't understand the like serial. cheating. Like how does it even happen?

I know where everyone in my life is at. all times. >> I know. I. I don't know. Like I've been cheated on. in the past, but I think at. knock on wood. At this point in my life, I feel like it. would be really hard for my partner. >> Right. >> it over on me now. >> Right. >> Like we do have Find My Friends, like. stuff like that. I'm like we also don't. have any time. I'm like how do you find. the time? But. >> Can you imagine seeing yourself getting. gotten so many times? >> I would be like a once.

depending on the circumstances. If it. was like a one-night stand, I'd be like, "Okay, let's, you know, try to work. through things.". >> Totally. >> But if it was like no, it's a. six-month-long relationship and one of. the kids might be someone he might have. like fathered a kid, I'd be like, "Yeah, no, we're done.". >> And like also, how do you not know where. they are? >> How often are you looking at your. boyfriend's location? >> Every sec I'm always like, "Where is. everyone?". >> So, you don't have TikTok, you just go. on Find My Friends? >> And like all my best friends like my One.

of my best friend lives down the street. My other best friend lives downstairs. Like. I need to know where everyone is so I. can be like, "Let's get coffee.". >> Mhm. >> Maybe that's great. Oh. >> No, but you like that's community. That's nice. >> That's community. >> I wish I could walk to my friends'. houses. Like I miss that. >> That's New York for you. >> I know. I need like a friend to move into my. neighborhood so I can like just walk my. horse to their house. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I have horses. >> Oh, you're not kidding. >> No, yeah. They're like in the backyard. right now. eating their hay.

>> Oh, what where is your where do you. live? >> down the street. >> How big are they? They're big they're. horses. >> One's really big and then one is a pony. that I've had since I was like seven. So. he's like he just turned like 31 in. April April 19th. >> he's a Virgo no no no, he's a. >> I'm not sure. >> He's an Aries. That's an Aries. >> Maybe. >> Yep. We what are what are their names? >> Konya and Smarty. >> Aw.

>> April 19th. Do you hang out with them like they're. like a dog. >> them tricks. Yeah, Aries you're good. >> Well, you have a very stubborn horse. >> He is stubborn. And he's like very smart. Like we call. him Houdini cuz he's always escaping out. of the fence. >> Woah. >> Yeah, he like knows how to undo the. latch and then he locked the gate. Like. he's very. >> on the drive over here. There are like. horses around. >> Uh-huh, they just walk the neighborhood. >> Yeah. >> Isn't that crazy?

>> Okay. >> [laughter]. [sighs]. >> Uh that's all we have for updates on. this one. Nothing else. But. >> Yeah, you got to just tell everyone that. in in that situation it's just like. you tell everyone everything. The ghosting is like no ghost. Everybody. be talking. Everybody say what you got. to say. >> Have you ever been ghosted? >> No. I'm quite persistent. >> [laughter]. >> I love that.

You're not going to ghost me, I'll show. up on your doorstep. >> No, you don't like yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> This episode is brought to you by State. Farm. We didn't call this podcast one. hot take for a reason. Sometimes you. just need a second opinion. Someone to. help you figure out if yes, you might. actually be wrong. And honestly, insurance isn't that different. You want. someone in your corner helping you make. the right call. That's where State Farm. comes in. With over 19,000 local agents, they're there to help you choose the. coverage that fits your life. They've.

got your back so you don't have to do it. alone. Visit statefarm.com to learn. more. Like a good neighbor, State Farm. is there. We've got one more open relationship one. for you. >> Geez, these people. >> They're just popping up right now. >> It's too messy. >> It's the season of open relationships. You know, deer season comes around every. year. I guess open season for open. relationships is now. >> Just get it together, y'all. >> [laughter]. >> This one is coming from my good friend. direct caterpillar 77.

I have friends on Reddit now. >> We like chat. >> Good. >> It is titled fiance, 27 male, wanted to. try an open relationship. Not my first. choice, but I agreed. Now he's throwing. a tantrum that my body count is 20 times. his. >> Oh. >> Is it time to just cut my losses and. move on? I'm 25. I've been with my fiance for 4 years. I. love him and used to respect him, but. his recent fixation on this dumb subject.

has really hurt my respect. He proposed. a year and a half ago. I said yes. About. a year ago, he found out that his friend. had slept with 100 women. >> Oh. >> prior to getting engaged, and somehow. this affected his psyche, and he. proposed an open relationship. >> Guys, everyone's just [ __ ] and sucking all. over town. >> At first, I I disgusted by the thought, but I agreed after he threw a major. meltdown. So, I started going out with.

friends. The first few guys, I was so. nervous because I'd been with two guys. including my fiance prior. But, after I. got over the nerves, I realized when. there's no pressure to start a. relationship, I'm really good at picking. dudes up and sending vibes that I'm down. to [ __ ]. I've actually met several of them off. Reddit as well. I've been with 42 guys in the past year. I never thought it would happen, but. I've enjoyed myself immensely. But honestly, I'm ready to stop.

But, as it turns out, my fiance is not. good at it and he's had two really bad. hookups from dating apps. When we were having the "Where are we?". discussion, he had another meltdown when he found. out how many guys I've been with. He. kept repeating, "You've slept with 20. times the number I have? 20 times?". I said maybe we should just stop. He.

said no, that he wasn't ready. now, but he wants to impose a rule. that I have to have a break until he. gets to 10. And then I can go out and meet someone. new every five new girls that he sleeps. with. To me, this is goddamn ridiculous. Part of the. fun was the independence and not. checking in. Now, he literally wants me. to keep a log and then when he hits an. achievement, then I can do my own thing? How shitty is that? In all honesty, I.

don't want a relationship where we. compare numbers, let alone [ __ ] other. people. I want a normal life with kids. and a house and a dog. What are we. supposed to say? Quote, "I watch the. kids until you [ __ ] five women, then. it's my night?" Is it time to just say. enough is enough and move on? Is there. any hope here? >> This guy's a [ __ ] loser. Nobody wants. to have sex with him cuz he sucks, obviously. This guy sucks. Get out of there. This. guy stinks. >> I mean, it's either an open relationship.

or it's not. >> Right. And then the thing with these. open relationships, it's like when the. rules happen and now there rules had. numbers, like a a num- numerical. coefficient, like. Get out of it now. This guy's a no. >> Mhm. >> Nobody wants to [ __ ] him. Take the hint. >> I. I This is kind of what happens with. these open relationships though. >> Like typically, guys will. do this. >> Right. >> seen one though where someone just wrote. in a Reddit and he's like, "My wife told. me" and he literally this is the quote,

"She wants to be a slut." And like was. asking for an open relationship and. wanted to sow her wild oats, whatever. But typically, it's coming from a guy. >> Yeah. >> And then relationship is open, woman has. an easier time, and then they get upset. >> They've no confidence. It's like not. anyone's responsibility that he like has. no self-worth. This guy's a loser. >> And that's what I think he needs to work. on is like. you need to be more confident in. yourself. Like why are you comparing. yourself to your friend that slept with. 100 women? >> And by the way, he's lying.

>> You think? >> It's like everybody's lying. >> [laughter]. >> So, OP does have a little bit of an. edit. RIP my inbox with people calling. me a [ __ ]. Um guys, wow, glad my best karma has to. do with me sleeping around. I have 1,400. unread messages. >> Woah. >> chat requests. I'm almost certainly not going to bang. anyone from this thread. >> [sighs]. >> So, we do get an update. I guess I made. the front page of Reddit yesterday.

Whatever. I read the responses well into. the morning. While my now ex-fiancé absolutely blew. up my [ __ ] alternating between calling. me a [ __ ] and a see you next Tuesday, asking me why I disgraced myself and him. like that. He also peppered the barrage. with things like, "What's going to. happen to us after this?". I finally fell asleep at like 3:00 a.m. I should have worked, but after finally. admitting that I needed to break things. off with him, I called in sick to work.

Went to fiance's house, asked to come. in, told him we had to talk. He said we. did, but as a testament to his. [ __ ] out of control ego, he prefaced. his part of the conversation with, "Quote, I want you to know in advance, I. may not be ready to accept your. apology.". [ __ ] him. I planned on being nice, but. that was too much. I just told him, "It's over between us." His look of. surprise was a combination of pathetic. and amusing, because even after calling. me all sorts of gendered slurs for the.

better part of a few hours, he still. wasn't expecting me to break up with. him. He begged me to know why. I think I. told him he had to know why, and I tried. to leave. I had no desire to talk to. him, so I tried to leave, and he kept. blocking me. I finally told him that if he didn't. [ __ ] let me go, I was going to call. the police. He finally relented, but as. I was trying to drive away, he came out. and started punching the driver's side. window. It was terrifying, but it didn't break. Between leaving his place and getting to.

mine, he texted me and called a dozen. times. I just blocked him, deleted the. whole conversation without reading it. [ __ ] him, too, because I had the ring in. my pocket and planned on giving it back. to him. But now, I'm too scared to see. him and give it back. So, I'm. >> selling the [ __ ]. >> or getting it melted down. So, that's. that. I don't know, this might get. removed in a few days, but it's all. good. I don't know whether I'm coming or. going at this point. It's been a crazy. couple of days. >> We're going to see this guy on the front. page of the news or something crazy.

>> You called it. I absolutely called it. Moving along. >> Psycho. >> Moving along to this next one. Are you a thrifter? Do you like Do you. like thrifting? Everything I'm wearing. >> You're good. Okay. So, this is coming from r/reselling. It's a subreddit for professional. resellers and those that aspire to be. This one is titled, "I bought a box at. Goodwill for $5 and I need some advice.

on a situation that has developed.". "I do my usual Goodwill rounds on. Saturday mornings looking for stuff to. flip and I found this nice looking. wooden box with brass hardware for $5. I. thought it was a jewelry box or maybe a. cigar humidor. So, I figured I could. flip it for $40 to $60 easy. I got home and opened it up and it was. heavy and full of a grayish powder. >> Yeah. >> in a sealed bag. >> Yeah. >> There was also a small metal plate on. the inside lid that I didn't notice in.

the store. >> Yeah. >> Like it has a name and two dates on it. >> Yeah. >> So, yeah. I bought a person. >> Yeah. >> I listed it anyways and dumped the bag. into a Tupperware container and listed. the box on eBay and it sold within a. day. About a week later, I get a message on. eBay from someone asking if the box had. anything inside of it when I bought it. I said, "No." because I panicked and I'm. a bad person. They sent a second message that was very.

long and very emotional explaining that. their mother passed last year and. somehow her ashes ended up at Goodwill. after a family dispute and they've been. searching for them for months. They described the box in perfect detail. including a small scratch on the bottom. left corner. So, now I have a dead woman's ashes in a. glass Tupperware container in my garage. and her grieving daughter is messaging. me on eBay and I already told her the.

box was empty and I sold the box to. someone in Ohio. I looked into whether Goodwill is liable. for selling human remains. And the. answer appears. to be complicated and also nobody has. tested this in court, which is not. comforting. My questions are: One, do I come clean. to the daughter? >> Yes. >> Two, how do I explain that her mother is. in a Tupperware container now? Three, is there a way to get the box. back from Ohio without explaining why? Four, can Goodwill ban you? Because I.

still need to go there on Saturdays. >> This If he doesn't give the ashes to the. daughter, he's going to hell. >> But what do you do? >> You'd be like, "I have your mom in a. jar.". >> You have to give them back. >> Yeah. >> I wouldn't be able to sleep with myself. if I didn't find a way to get these. ashes back. >> No. All like it How is this even a. question? >> I feel like there's people out there. that would have flushed them, to be. honest. >> Yeah. >> Or thrown them away. >> Yeah. >> I think this happens pretty commonly at. Goodwill. >> Really? >> I think it's like a thing that they get.

ashes quite a bit. >> Great. Lord. He's got to It is interesting that he. kept them. >> Well, he felt guilt. He had to have felt. some guilt. >> How does he not have more guilt now? Everyone's probably telling him to. return them, right? >> Let's see what the comments say. Top comment, "Just tell them you lied at. first because you felt guilty for. accidentally coming home with the. remains and that the box sold. Get them. the ashes. They don't care about the. box. You could be the real key in their.

grieving process. Good luck.". Someone says, "Yes, this. They want the. ashes, not the box.". >> Right. >> I will say urns are pretty pricey, though. >> How much is an urn? >> If it's like a stone one, like I paid. 600 for one, 700. >> So, they're. >> Can you open it? >> Mhm. Yeah. I looked in the ashes. I like wanted to. see if you could see any teeth cuz I had. previously heard that sometimes it. doesn't It was like fully.

There were some shards. >> Like bone? >> I you could It's hard to tell. Hard to. tell. >> But this is like a box. >> It was like a wooden box and then a just. It comes in just like a bag. Like. they're just in a bag. And they're like gray. It looks like fireplace soot. >> But then an urn, they're just loose in. there. >> No, still in a bag typically. Unless you. pour the bag into the urn. >> Right. >> we just shoved the bag into the urn. >> And it's like a plastic bag. >> Yeah.

This is like I mean I think you can kind. of get a bunch of different options. Ooh, the wood is a bargain. $79. >> know that that was an urn. >> Urn Oh, for 400. >> buying like a wooden box on eBay? This sold immediately? >> I don't know. Cigar boxes are pretty. bougie. >> right. I wonder if this person if like. the person on who's buying it on eBay. >> No. >> Like yeah. >> I would think not. But maybe they labeled it as an urn. because how did then the other person.

find the listing? So it must have been. labeled like with an urn description had. like I don't know dates or whatever. Brass plate. >> Right. >> I've literally I've looked on eBay and. OfferUp and Craigslist for lost items of. mine. So like it can be done. Yeah. >> What were you What what was missing? >> Uh Cartier ring just slipped off my. finger. >> No! >> I was hand sanitizing outside of a. Lululemon in Studio City and. I am popped off didn't feel it.

>> You know the thrifting hack on eBay. You. just you type in designer names wrong. And it's people like not really knowing. what they have. Like listing items wrong and then you. get like. you know, cheap Comme des Garçons cuz. they didn't know what they had. >> That's smart. >> Mhm. >> That is really smart. >> Mhm. >> That's Yeah, okay. Now I know what to. do. I'm on the hunt for some things. >> Your Cartier ring, that's for sure. >> I know. >> It's sanitized.

>> We've replaced her. >> Oh, cuz that's what she. >> She's She's fine now. She's good. But yeah, definitely got to give this. back. We don't have an update, so we. have no idea what OP does. >> OP, you're going to the fiery furnace of. hell with those where the ashes were. You're going to into the crematorium. >> [laughter]. >> if you don't return that. It's crazy. >> You have to give them back. Have to. And. also, like Can I get banned from. Goodwill? No. >> No, you can get banned from all of your.

group chats if you're the guy. I. wouldn't be texting you back if you're. the guy who didn't return the mom's. body. No, I'd be done with you. >> [sighs and gasps]. >> Okay, this next one. This is coming from. r/relationshipadvice. It's titled, "My boyfriend loves to feed. me meals every day." Hmm. I've been with my boyfriend for 10. months. He's the best boyfriend I've. ever had. He's so sweet and. He always puts me first, and it's. honestly a fresh of air compared to my.

past relationships. He's a chef. Whenever we went out to eat, he would. always feed me a bite of his food. I. never minded and thought it was cute. When we started hanging out with others. at their houses, he would always offer. to cook, and then he would feed me my. meal. I told him, "It's fine. I can feed. myself." But he would always insist. He said he loves feeding beautiful women. his food. >> Right. We have got a pervert, ladies and. gentlemen. >> Now, it's kind of escalating. He wants.

to feed me on his lap. >> Yeah. >> I told him that I'm not interested in. sitting on his lap and getting fed. I'd. rather just watch the show and eat my. chips myself instead of a whole meal he. made. When I say no, he gets a bit. awkward, and I start to feel bad. But it's so weird how he loves to feed. me all my meals. Why? I know there's way weirder things out. there and the intention is sweet, but. I'm starting to think it might be a kink. or something. >> Yes, it's a kink. You have a feeder.

boyfriend. >> I don't discuss the intimate of my. relationships with my friends, so I'm on. here. Is this weird or sweet? By the. way, this is a daily occurrence whenever. we're together. >> Well, first of all, why don't you got. friends you could talk to? >> Some people just like don't want to. embarrass themselves or like say. something bad about their partner and. then like they stay with them and it's. like, "Well, I'm staying with the food. guy.". >> If your boyfriend's got a feeder fetish, if you're not into it, get out of there.

He That's what he likes. He's like shoveling it into her mouth by. hand. >> Mhm. >> I wouldn't mind that. >> You wouldn't? I'm hungry. I'm a hungry girl. Uh the top comment. >> I mean, it's got to be good. It's got to be good food. >> Sitting in his lap. >> Have fun. It would only the the novelty. would wear off, though. >> Yes. >> It would wear off very quickly. >> And him getting like irritated by not. being able to feed sounds um.

bizarre. It can't be every day. >> I'm like not kink shaming at all cuz. there's a a right shoe for every left. Like someone's got a feeder fetish and. they'll find their feedee, whatever. But. like it would not do it for me to know. someone's getting off on feeding me and. that's how I know I'm just I wouldn't. That's not my person. >> Right. Right. It sounds like she's not. into it. Sounds like she does not have. the right shoe for his left shoe fetish. >> Yeah. Yeah, I know. Top comment. I'm not even a little bit.

involved in the fetish kink community. and this is screaming fetish to me. >> Yeah. >> Someone goes, "Yep, the guy's a feeder.". >> Mhm. >> Someone says, "I suggest you look into. feederism. It's a fetish. Also, be. careful with your waistline because if. he gets off on feeding you, there's a. chance he'll get off on fattening you up. as well. >> Yes, that's part of it. Yes. >> It's like Hansel and Gretel. >> I know. I know all about this. >> Do you? >> I maybe need a feeder and I want to be.

the mouth. >> [laughter]. >> I'm hungry all the time. >> Are you really? >> Yeah. >> Do you have like there's someone that. literally just posted recently and. they're like, "I'm hungry all the time. Like I think I have a parasite.". >> Yeah, maybe. Honestly, maybe. >> Have you gotten checked? >> Uh no. There's like other problems that. come first, I guess. It's just like a. never-ending list of problems. >> I mean, all you have to do is mail in. poop. >> That's true. >> with the process already. >> Very much familiar with this. I've sat. on a train with a box of my own poop in. my lap and it was warm.

>> What? >> [laughter]. >> I had to bring my poop to my doctor and. it was not mail in. It was. I was the delivery person on the train. >> Do you have tummy problems? >> Of course. >> Yeah, every hot girl does. >> Yeah, facts. >> You know, catch us up with us. >> [gasps]. >> The train though is a new experience. >> Yeah, it was warm in my lap. It was. warm. That was odd. >> [laughter]. >> But it would have I feel. >> That's a fresh sample. >> It was fresh. It was. It wasn't even.

that fresh. >> Yeah. >> But I guess it's really hot when it. comes out of you. >> I did not ever come into contact with. mine when I took samples. I had like a little like scoop. >> Right. >> And you just scooped it. >> it then you did it there. >> No, I did have to have it in my house. and I like triple bagged it and just. like kept it by the door ready to go. >> I remember the scoop. Of course, I. remember the scoop. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, it sounds like um. he's trying to fatten this girl up.

>> Yeah. >> And and she's sitting in his lap, so he. wants to feel the weight. >> Yeah. >> Mhm. >> OP does share, "I'm naturally pretty. thin. Since quarantine, I have gained 15. lb, but I just assumed it was quarantine. weight. Feederism? Let me look it up. >> Sorry, girl, you got got. You got fed. >> You got fed. >> You got full. We do get an update. >> I've never given a guest this many. updates before. >> Thank you. >> I appreciate it. >> Yeah, Taylor Tomlinson like actually. like cried over the lack of updates I.

had for her. >> I'm so sorry, Taylor. I've bested you. >> I learned from my ways. So, update. Thanks for everyone that. replied. I read every single one. I. didn't even think my question would get. more than a few replies. Someone. commented that I research feederism, and. I did. And wow. So many things became clear, and now in. hindsight, I'm shocked I didn't see it. earlier. In my defense, I'm not a kinky. person. I didn't even know this was a. kink. For starters, I'm naturally pretty thin.

It's a big insecurity of mine. >> She keeps repeating it. >> I know. >> We got to. >> Rub it in. I'm 5'7. When we first got. together, I was 110. I'm now 125. >> thin. >> When he first met my parents, he later. remarked that my mom being so thin after. having five kids is crazy. >> Woah. >> Looking back, he seemed disappointed. He also tells me all the time that I. have the perfect frame to be thick.

He noticed my weight gain before I did, and during sex, he would always caress. my waist, hips, and stomach area, and. tell me I'm looking more voluptuous. >> Mhm. >> Really? It didn't click? It really. didn't click for you? He also told me that he can't wait for. me to get pregnant. >> Right. >> because he knows I'll be even more. beautiful, and he'll feed me so much. I'll never snap back. He always said it in a joking tone and a. laugh, so I thought it was a dumb joke. I decided that before I say anything to. him, let me look up his exes and see if.

any of them have gained a lot of weight. >> Oh. >> He's new to the area and has only been. with one girl before, and her Instagram. page is private, and her profile photo. is a group picture, so I couldn't tell. which one she is. Then I looked up her. name on LinkedIn, and she has a profile. She co-owns a business with her sister, whose Instagram isn't private, so I. searched up and my suspicions were. confirmed. >> Mhm. >> She used to be average weight, and now. she looks heavier. I was still in denial. and thought maybe that she was.

responsible for her weight gain and not. him. I just couldn't believe this fetish. was a thing. I invited him over last. night to watch a movie. I was scared to. see him because I know if I didn't say. anything, I probably never would have. the courage, because I'm not very. confrontational. He came over and watched a movie and. ordered food. Our food came, he heated. it up in the microwave, and plated it. for us like he always does. He kept the two plates next to him, and. when I tried to grab one, he held them. above his head. >> He's repulsive. >> and shook his head with a grin like it's.

cute. I rolled my eyes and he grabbed a. fork and took pieces of chicken and then. held it in front of my mouth. I refused. to open my mouth, so he pressed it. against my lips. >> And I pulled back. >> No. >> and stood up to grab the plate that he. was holding over his head. >> No. >> He gave me a weird look. >> No. >> and I wanted to say sorry so bad. Why am. I like this? But I didn't. I just. grabbed another fork, walked over to my. couch with my plate, and started eating.

hoping he could take the hint without me. having to say anything. He came to sit next to me and started. eating too, and we just watched the. movie for a few minutes in peace. He. then took a piece of chicken off my. plate and tried to feed it to me again. >> This is a no means no situation. >> This time I said no, and he asked what. was wrong. I said nothing was wrong and. that I'm an adult and I'm perfectly. capable of eating my own orange chicken. by myself. He said he knows I'm an adult, and he.

wants me to concentrate on the movie. instead of worrying about feeding. myself. He then tried to keep pressing it. against my mouth and I just wouldn't. open it. >> Dude, relax. Just [laughter]. This is like a Law & Order episode. >> Are you kidding me? I would go crazy. Just Can you imagine? >> Choo choo. Donald's closed. Getting orange chicken. all over your lips.

>> [laughter]. >> Oh my god. At this point, I was fed up. and I snapped at him that it's weird to. constantly want to feed me and I don't. want him to anymore. I did say it in a. harsh tone, but I was upset. He tensed. up and didn't say anything and scooted. to the other side of the couch. >> He scooted, dude. >> Then he just stared me down. >> No, no. >> as I ate. Literally, he wasn't even. watching the movie. Even when I would. look at him thinking he would look away,

he would just stare at my mouth as I. chewed. I was disgusted. After I. finished my food, he picked up his. uneaten plate and he told me that I. could have it. I told him that I don't. want it. >> I'm good. >> And he said he'd rather it not go to. waste and if I'm too tired to feed. myself, he'll do it. >> Bro, relax. >> I was fed up again and told him that I. think we should break up because we're.

obviously not on the same page. He asked. if all of this was because he wants to. feed me and I said, yes, it is. He said that he's a chef and he loves. food and he also loves women and there's. nothing better than combining the two. >> Right. He's going to eat a woman. >> [laughter]. >> That's what my first thought. I felt like an object. He said that this. can't be the real reason why I'm ending. things and I must be seeing someone. else. >> Right. >> That he treats me like a queen, and most.

other boyfriends wouldn't have ever. cooked me a meal, let alone have fed it. to me. >> Right. They wouldn't have. >> I asked him to leave, and he wouldn't. until I gave him the real reason as to. why I broke up with him. I said, "Because you have a feeding kink." And. he started cackling, saying that I'm a. sick [ __ ]. >> Oh. >> And that. >> Jesus. >> And that a guy showing me he loves me, someone as sad and disgusting as me, must truly be some sort of kink, because.

no one in their right mind would ever do. it. >> All these men are going to be on the. news, I swear. >> Then he left and blocked me everywhere. I loved him before, but that. conversation turned me off so much, I'm. honestly not sad that we're over. >> No. >> I'm actually kind of relieved. I just. don't understand why he truly has this. kink, why he wouldn't tell me and ask me. to indulge in it. Why would he deny it. and block me? Is because of my dismissing behavior. when he tried feeding me? Question mark. >> This guy, there's going to be a doc. He's about to catch a documentary.

>> The feeder swindler. >> Yeah. Yes. >> It's coming. Coming soon. >> in denial. How could you be in denial. about being a feeder? You're pressing the chicken to her lips. >> I love cooking, and I love women. >> Girl, you didn't even cook the food. You. microwaved it. >> You DoorDashed that. Like. What? >> Bizarre. >> I would not be able to handle this. Watching having someone just stare at my. mouth as I chew.

>> If you're a feeder, no problem. Hey, what's up? I'm a feeder. Can I put this. orange chicken in your mouth? Awesome. Next. >> Combo. Consent. >> All good. >> Cool. >> It sounds like it's like a control. thing. >> Yeah. I wonder if that's where it comes from. >> Yeah. I will make her weigh 138 lb. >> Psychologically, I'd love for a. psychologist to chime in and just like. give us the top fetishes and be like. this is where it comes from. >> Right. >> And it's all good. You can have that. fetish. Just don't lie and be sus.

I do have another fetish one. But what. is like what's a kink that you think. you would be okay with or a fetish that. like isn't that. out there? >> One time I was in when I was in Chicago. doing stand-up. I had like a picture in the Chicago. Tribune. where my armpit hair was out. And my. friend was a dominatrix at the time and. their. client was like uh had a body hair. fetish.

>> Oh. >> So he was like, "Yo, I saw your friend. in the newspaper. Like [laughter]. would she let me. lick her armpit hair and jerk off?". And I was like at the time, "Yeah, that. sounds cool." Coming into fru- It didn't. end up happening, but I was open-minded. I was going to get paid a thousand bucks. for a guy to lick my armpit hair and. jerk off. I didn't have to do anything. >> A thousand dollars? >> At the time I needed it. And it it didn't happen and I was. >> like.

>> I know. Oh, I know. >> How do people find these opportunities? I have a friend that she would sell feet. pics, but he didn't even want to see the. feet. He just wanted to see the dirty. socks. >> Oh. >> And I'm like. >> How much did she get for that? >> She made a lot of money. I know. >> once asked me for feet pics. And he his big So he showed me like. examples of what he wanted. Like it had. to be like toes curling and all this. like kind of stuff. Yeah, that was like. And I was like totally down. It was like.

300 bucks or something. And then he. said, "But your face has to be in it.". Like it had to be like me going like. whatever with my face in the background. I was like, "Bro, if you want my face in. it, that's like. that's like 2,000.". >> It's double. At least triple. >> Mhm. >> I was doing a lot of volunteering for. Bernie Sanders campaign at the time. And he wanted me to wear a Bernie. t-shirt, underwear, no socks, curling my. toes with my face in the background. >> [laughter]. >> So specific. >> I so so He wanted like universal health.

care toes. My [laughter]. He wanted it all. >> Why does this feel like blackmail? >> Well, I was like, I'm cool. Just like if. you I'm like, what if it was just my. feet? No face. And he was like, no, your. face has to be in it. >> No. >> And this is when I was like, you know, I. hadn't gotten on SML at the time. I was. kind of hoping my. could, you know, help Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I was like, I kind of just didn't. want those pictures out there. But I was I said 2,000. He said, no. >> [snorts].

>> What was the original rate? >> It was like 300 bucks. >> Oh, yeah, no. You're. you're. really begging for specifics. Yeah, no. That is so so funny. So this post is actually coming from our. very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. >> Oh. >> We've got our own page now. >> Woah. Woah. Woah. >> And it's titled, I, 25 female, have a. secret kink that I haven't told my. partner, 27 male, about.

>> Okay. >> I'm trying to exposure therapy myself. into being able to share this with him. And I feel like this is a pretty. accepting and sex-positive community. overall, so here we go. I'm a mid-20s. woman who has been with her boyfriend. for a few years. Ever since I became a. sentient being, I've always had a thing. for tickling. Like I've always wanted boys to tickle. me. >> Yeah. >> And as I got older, it's been really. intertwined with some BDSM stuff. And.

ultimately, I want to be tied down and. tickled until I literally can't think. It's definitely a power dynamic thing. and a I need to turn my brain off thing. And it feels good to me physically and. mentally. It could absolutely go a. sexual route, but honestly, even just. the tickling by itself would do it for. me. >> Mhm. >> When I was in college, I met up with a. couple of guys in the city I was in who. were also into it. >> Oh, that's cool. >> Literal ecstasy. >> Oh. >> I just floated for days afterwards. I've.

been with my boyfriend for a few years, and although I have a feeling he knows. at least a little bit that I enjoy it, I. haven't confessed it to him. He will. tickle me a lot and has even made. comments about how he can tell I like. it. He just doesn't really know the. extent of it. Anyways, that's my weird. story to share. I'm happy to answer any. questions or yield any judgment. I know. it's atypical, and it's def a shameful. thing for me. >> No.

>> Hence why I haven't shared it with my. very sweet and loving boyfriend after. all this time. Thanks for reading. >> Don't be ashamed, girl. Get you Get your. bag. Get your tickling bag. >> This one sounds great. It's totally. fine. There's a documentary about this. You're good. Every people know about it. >> There's a doc? >> Yeah, there's like there's a doc. There's a doc. You're good. >> Have you watched it? >> I know, but it was like a thing. >> I feel like this out of all the ones to. have, it sounds great. >> one's getting hurt, no one's getting. fat, no one's getting chicken on their.

lips. It's all good. >> She Why is it coochie coo? >> She's got to tell him. It's funny like. so many people are coming to Reddit to. ask questions that they already know the. answers to. >> I know, but that's like that's the crazy. thing about shame. Where you just like. our anxiety or whatever like is that. barrier in our head where it's just like. it's so irrational, but yet just pesters. you. >> Right. It's all good. >> This is what. >> I want to know what happened with those. two guys in college from college.

>> What does a tickling orgy look like? >> I know. >> Or was it even an orgy or was it just. like a tickle down? Like a tickle. >> Right, so it's a. to so it's like a a tickle or a G. >> Without I mean with or without sex. >> I'm now I'm curious. I find tickling to. be absolute torture which I see as part. of the BDSM part of it. >> She's depriving maybe she's like getting. off on like depriving herself of joy. Don't do that. >> Do not.

Girl get your tickle tickle on. >> Life is short get tickled. Good for her. >> Did do we have an update? >> We do have a little bit of an update but. I did look up that tickled documentary. >> It's from 2016 and it's about. competitive endurance tickling. >> Yes. >> There's tickling competitions? >> Yeah, this is like a whole thing. She is like there's a whole world out. there for her. >> This is an activity in which young. athletic men are strained and tickled by.

each other. >> This is crazy. >> I know. The world is so big and. complicated. >> Like there's so many things I don't. understand like this. >> Yeah. >> the slap competition. >> Yeah, is that a fetish? >> It must be. It must be. >> People that don't touch my face. Do. whatever you want to me don't touch my. face. >> Have you seen them? >> Their face is swell, yeah. >> Like they get rocked. >> Yeah. >> I don't That's got to be that's got to. be in line with this.

>> Yeah. >> So yeah, we do get a little bit of an. update. >> Okay. >> After the top comment says that's. low-key one of the least embarrassing. kinks. I would think your boyfriend. would be happy for you to open up to. him. Only fun to be had. And so update says I told him. He was mostly confused about why it was. such a big deal to me and he said he. finds tickling me mostly amusing but. that he is open to making it sexual as. well. >> okay. >> I'm seeing him tomorrow so hopefully I.

get wrecked. >> Okay, I can't imagine getting wrecked by. a tickle. [laughter]. She's like a Teletubby or something. She's like a Care Bear. >> But I'm not holding any expectations of. him because I know it is new to him. He. also said to me that 90% of the male. population would shrug their shoulders. at this and be perfectly okay with it. >> Yeah. >> Which basically aligned with the. comments. So, yeah. Yay. Thank you all. very much for your kind words and. encouragement. I have felt extremely.

weighed down by this secret and. confession and I finally hit a breaking. point. All the affirming comments really. gave me the courage I needed to move. forward with this. >> She should be on Reddit finding her. people. >> The ticklers? >> Yeah. >> That could be a new sub. >> Totally. >> But she's got her little tickle boy now. >> Right, but I kind of want her to get. down. I kind of want her to go to like. festivals. and like conventions. There's got to be. parties. I wonder if they trim their nails.

Like how in there do they get? >> have to trim your nails. Don't you. think? >> I'm also like I'm like is there a. difference between a sexual tickle. and. like a schoolyard tickle? >> Have you ever had anyone sit on you and. tickle you? >> Yeah, like as a as like a torture. Yes. Yes. Like that must be different. >> Or it's not. >> Wow. [sighs]. I'm going to be exploring this. >> There is a video on TikTok about.

tickling at a ren fair. >> Okay, right. There seems like a lot of. overlapping of interests here. >> Yeah. Which out of all the places to see. tickling. I'm like but I'm like I wonder if it is. the same thing. Ren fair tickling. It's. I don't know. It's a whole thing. It's a. whole tickle fun. >> Okay. >> Are they really are they going to be. tickling each other at ren fairs? >> Yeah, They do everything at a ren fair. >> Have you been to one recently? >> No, it's never come up.

>> I feel like you would thrive there. >> I know. Again, like the same thing with. Disneyland. It's like I don't want to be. outside like walking around. >> Are you not outdoorsy? >> for like any of these things. >> Not outdoorsy? >> I don't want to like go outside. I don't. want to do. I don't have time Again, I don't have. time for this crap. >> You've never been camping, have you? >> I slept outside one time and it was the. worst day of my life. I like it wasn't camping. It was like I. had to I was doing comedy at a music.

festival in the in Kentucky. And we were all sleeping in tents and I. never slept in a tent before. I couldn't find one fun thing about. that. It was cold. >> Yeah. >> You're on the ground. >> Oh, you didn't even get a cot or like a. little roll? Roll out? >> I had like a little like um egg crate. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, no, I didn't. >> See, I. >> a spider. >> Ooh. >> I just like la- no sleeping, lied there.

>> I'm more of a glamper. >> Okay. >> Um but I do love a nice hotel. >> Of course. >> Love power, love electricity. >> god, I love a sink. I love soap. >> I love toilet. >> I love toilet. I know you can't tell by. my hair, but I do like to shower. >> Why don't pick on yourself. >> You're right. I'm I put the glam in. glamping. >> I mean, yeah. Yeah. >> [sighs and gasps]. >> Man, okay. I got one last one for us. here. >> Okay.

>> This is coming from today I [ __ ] up. It is titled today I [ __ ] up by asking. my friend's mom out. >> Oh. >> My friend's mom has been single for the. last few years. >> She is currently in her mid 40s. I am in. my early 20s and I have always found her. to be really attractive. She carries. herself with confidence and has a pretty. wicked sense of humor. For most people who do not know her, she. can seem pretty cold, detached, and.

aloof, but once you get to know her, she's one of the nicest and most caring. people out there. I have been strongly infatuated with her. for the last 2 years. Recently, I ran into her in a shopping. mall and we had a great conversation. She got us both a coffee and we had a. good time yapping away at the cafe. Ever since, she appeared in my dream. twice. I've never felt like this towards any.

other woman before, not in the last 22. years of my life. Yesterday, I decided to make a move. I. slid into her Instagram DM and told her. that her dinner outfit was amazing and. looked really good on her. Then, I asked her for dinner just to. catch up further. She replied initially saying, "Sure.". and she would bring her son along, too. I did not know how to reply to that. I. wanted to make it clear that this was a.

date and it would be the two of us. I. gave it a few hours, then I got a bottle. of red wine, chugged two glasses down to. calm my nerves and boost my confidence. Then, I texted her telling her I would. love to go on a date with her. Right after I sent that, it was radio. silence from her till an hour ago. She dropped me a text gently declining. my offer and telling me I am a great kid. and all the best with girls my age.

I am absolutely crushed. I don't know. how my friend will see me from now. onward. I have no idea if she told my friend. Today, I [ __ ] up. >> milfhunter.com, bro. You're good. Just. get you a milf. All you need is a milf. You're good. >> There's. Hey. >> I've met a lot of moms deal with this. >> My mom was harassed. >> Ah. >> Harassed. >> By your friends?

>> My brother's friends. So my brother's 8. years older than me. >> [gasps]. >> So like my mom had him when she was like. 19. So she was always the hot mom. >> Yeah. >> And those they're freaky. >> They are freaky. Moms are off limits. Come on. >> He's got some chops though. >> [sighs]. [gasps]. >> Cuz I would be squirming. Like that. conversation, like you couldn't pay me. >> And good for her for responding. tactfully. >> You're such a good kid really like.

hammering that home. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Yeah. Cuz some people have done this. You know some people do sleep with their. kids friends. >> You can't be doing that. I'm like. thinking of all my friends dads and I'm. like. well. I can see the well, what are you going. to do? [laughter]. >> There's a couple. My my one friend has an uncle that like. everyone goes feral over. >> I was out I was at a party brag the. other night and one of my friends that I.

was with there was like a young 25 year. old and she was like oh we go out with. your uncle. >> Your uncle? >> No, like she said it to my friend. Like. oh yeah like we part hey I know we've. never met but I party with your uncle. Uncle stay inside. >> What? >> Why are they outside? Uncle, if you're. an uncle stay in. >> Yeah. >> You can't be outside. >> Oh my gosh. Yeah, I know. Also what a weird way to. >> Introduce yourself to someone. >> Yeah. I mean I guess you find any bridge. you can to cross with someone but.

partying with my uncle would make me not. want to be your friend. >> Yeah. I'm good. I'll see him on. Thanksgiving. I don't want to be. thinking about you. >> Yeah. Is the uncle famous? >> No. That was my question, too. >> How'd they meet? >> I don't know. >> Pilates? >> I hope. >> Is he gay? >> I mean, that would have been better, but. no. Her uncle's outside. >> Yeah, married? >> I'm being so discreet cuz I'm like. >> [laughter].

>> People start. >> Yeah, not married. >> Okay. Okay. >> I'm glad my uncles are. locked up. They're locked up. >> [laughter]. >> They're not going out. >> Top comment on this one with 17,000. upvotes. Inviting her son was her way of. turning you down nicely. >> Yeah, she was being nice. >> Do you get weird inquisitions these. days? >> I could always get more. I try not to really look, but I'm sure. there's some stuff in there.

>> You Well, you have an Instagram, too. >> I have an Instagram, but you know how. there's like a secret folder where they. go? >> Yeah. >> So, I don't open the secret folder. because that's Pandora's box of hell. >> The requests? Like cuz there's. >> [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> So, I see like messages from my friends. >> Okay. >> I There's a separate folder. >> The requests. >> where the creeps come out at night. I. should look. I'd probably feel better. about myself. >> You'd probably have so many more like, "Hey Sarah, I'm ready for your feet.

I'll pay 2K.". >> I know. Honestly, now. putting this out there, if you want a. picture of my feet with my face in it. and I'm wearing a Bernie shirt, 15K, I'll do it. No problem. >> That seems like a. >> That seems reasonable. >> Yeah. >> It seems reasonable. >> Okay. You guys know where to find her, right? >> here first. >> Thank you so, so much for coming on. Everyone, go watch Sarah's special on. HBO. What else are you working on? >> Oh, SNL just finished, so.

>> Oh my god, yes, your butt. >> Yeah, my butt. >> was out, Sarah. >> out. >> so good. >> Well, if you have a butt fetish, watch. that. >> No. >> Your auctioneer bit, too. I Did you watch See, how did you prepare. for that? >> Um I literally watched cattle auctions. It's I I And um. I like rehearsed it a lot. >> Yeah. >> And then So, I practiced it a lot, and. then I showed it to Matt Damon, and he. did it immediately without practicing. >> He's probably done it before, though.

>> Movie star. >> Yeah, he's probably done it before. >> Yeah, at at auction? >> There's a school. >> There is a school? >> it's I see their videos on TikTok. >> I saw I saw um I was like watching a. bunch of auctioneer videos to practice, and I saw the school, and I was like, "Oh, maybe I should hit up the school. and like get a tutor for a day to. practice.". >> Yeah. >> And then I should have done that. >> Hey. >> That would have been. >> See it coming back up again. You never. know.

>> If anyone wants to tutor me. >> Betty Butter beer, Betty Butter beer. >> That's a real. >> Yeah, it's like they're. >> Yeah, have you been to an auction? >> No, my dad used to be an auctioneer, though. It was like a side quest of his. back in the day. >> of auctioneer? >> He would buy companies and liquidate. them. >> Oh, like a company auctioneer? >> Yeah. >> There's all kinds. >> Yeah, there's so many. Yeah. Oh, I actually have an auction I need to. call into today. I'm trying to buy a. piece of furniture. >> What kind of auction? Oh, it's a. furniture auction.

>> Yeah, art, furniture. >> But there's no fast talkers. >> No. >> No. >> I know. >> They also do vintage. >> It's a dying art. It really is. >> Well, guys, let's keep it alive. >> Yeah. Where can everyone find you? >> You can find me, if you need to DM me. request for feet pictures, at Sarah. Squirm on Instagram. And if you want to. see my butt on S N L, you can look at it. on YouTube. >> [laughter]. [gasps]. >> All Sarah's links will be in the. description. Until next time, guys. Bye. >> Bye.

>> Whee! Whee! >> [music]. >> Whee! Whee! Whee!