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How you doing over there? >> Doing good. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Wow. Was. last week not fun. Hi guys. Welcome back. to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm. your host Morgan. >> I'm Justin. >> And last week episode was a wee bit late. because I ended up in the hospital. I. ended up getting admitted to the. hospital for colitis. slash systemic inflammatory response.

syndrome. They're unclear. But the good. news is I now have my colonoscopy under. my belt and I am one less 5 mm polip. They removed a 5mm polip. >> Yeah. and we're that much closer to. sorting my stomach issues and figuring. out what is going on there. But wow, I've just been so under the weather and. like still not feeling right. And they.

put me on two antibiotics. I've got like. cypro and flagagile and I'm having a. weird reaction to these antibiotics. And. if you've ever experienced this, please. let me know because I called the doctor. today and was like telling him what I. was experiencing and I I then called my. sister-in-law and told her what I was. experiencing because she's a PA and both. of them were like, "I've never really. heard of that reaction from those. antibiotics." Like both the doctor was. like, "Yeah, I don't know. You should.

still keep taking them though." And. essentially the reaction is like I take. these antibiotics and they're making me. feel high. Like I've had multiple. different gummies and I feel so high and. like massive amounts of anxiety to the. point where I was like I obviously. haven't taken anything because I'm sick. and I'm like what if there's a gas leak? We we slept with our window open cuz I. was having so much anxiety from this. feeling. So, if you ever experienced. that or if you're a pharmacist and.

you're like, "Hey, because my doctor. doesn't know and it's just crazy.". >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's a good summary. >> It's a good summary. But you Yeah. Justin went through it, too. Staying at. the hospital with me until like 3:00. a.m. going home, not sleeping, coming. back in the morning. It was a lot. You. don't sleep in the hospital. I had. people coming in and like changing trash. bags violently at 6:00 a.m. You take for. granted your health. Like even with the. issues I have, like I'm I'm like, "Oh my.

god, I'm not going to take my my stomach. issues for granted anymore." Because. being in the hospital is really really. tough. >> Yeah. It it becomes like obviously you. can technically leave, but it's like you. lose your freedom, but you lose your. freedom not to the hospital, you lose it. to your health. >> Yeah. And so, you know, the message. still, >> it's like a really good way to describe. chronic illness and what people with. like really chronic conditions deal. with. >> Yeah. And then the other side of that is. then when you aren't in times of bad.

health, it's not so much that you have. to do this, it's that you get to do. this. >> Mhm. >> Even things that aren't fun, even going. to work for the day. Well, in. perspective, it's a pretty good day. I know. >> because you can go to work. You are able. to go to work. >> I had a phabotamist come in my room at. 4:30, 5:00 a.m. something like that. And I was.

like, "Yay!" Cuz I was like hoping my. blood work would come back and my white. cells would be down and they'd discharge. me. I was like, "Yay. Oh my god. I've. been waiting for you." And he's like, "Really? You want to go back to work?". And I'm like, "Rather than be here?". Yeah. Yeah. I I'm I love what I do. It's. a privilege, >> but this serves as still a great. reminder to always be checking in on. yourself, taking care of yourself, looking after your own health, cuz no. one's going to come knocking, saying, "Hey, make sure you do this, make sure.

you do that." So, we got to stay on top. of it because. it's scary when it becomes too late. >> Absolutely. And speaking of health, mental health, anyone else feeling a. little brain fried right now just with. the state of things, overwhelmed, feeling like you can't make a. difference, feeling crazy. To give you. guys an example where I'm like at a. crossroads life morally in my head, again, brain fried. Google is putting a.

data center or trying to put a data. center in my hometown of Hermantown. No. one wants a data center in the community. and I don't want the data center in my. community but yet I host my podcast on. YouTube which is owned by Google. I'm. like where where do we go? What do we. do? And I'm like does that make me. hypocritical? I don't want the data. center but then I post on YouTube. I'm. like oh my god what do we do? How do you. keep up? How do you keep up with where. you can shop? And I'm just like oh my. god I feel brain fried.

>> I'm just like I don't know what's going. on. So, all that to be said, I need a. nice distraction today to disengage from. the world. So, if you're still with me, thank you. Anything else to add? >> No, we should we should get to it. >> Okay, let's dive in. [music].

Okay, we ready? >> Yeah. >> Okay, let's get into these ones. Up. first for us here, did I introduce a. theme? >> No. >> Oh, well, we are coming at you with a. lot of relationship problems. All caps. problems, domestic issues, brain fat, kind of just all across the board. So, you're going to like these ones. up first for us here. >> Yep. >> This is coming from r/ relationship.

advice. 2 months old titled I, 28, female, night shower. Boyfriend 29, male, morning showers. How do we. compromise? >> Sounds good right now as it is. >> Ew. >> Oh, cuz you want to shower together. >> You'll see. >> Oh, that's what Yeah. >> Hi. Looking for some creative solutions. to this scenario. Thank you in advance. for reading and helping out. Boyfriend. and I have been dating for 3 years and. are finally moving in together. As the.

title suggests, I am a night shower and. my boyfriend is a morning shower. I have. OCD. Yes, it's diagnosed. That manifests. in feeling icked out very easily by. germs as well as specific rituals. With. the help of therapy, I have improved. greatly in the last couple of years, but. still feel strongly about certain things. being dirty. I do not like the idea of. morning showers because I am pertub by. the concept of going out into public, getting germs, sweat, dirt, etc. on you.

all day and then getting into your clean. bed sheets at night. >> Same. >> Additionally, I really enjoy sleeping. nude and would feel really uncomfortable. if my sheets had society germs on them. >> Same. >> Before I go any further, I am not. calling my boyfriend icky or putting. down anyone's preferences. I wouldn't. feel comfortable being with anybody. that's unhygienic. He is also really. understanding of my OCD and feelings and. is very much willing to work with me.

We're both very good to each other. Whenever we've stayed at each other's. places in the past, the difference in. shower routines never bothered me too. bad because I could always remedy it. If. I stayed over at his, I would just sleep. in pajamas and take a good shower when I. got back to my place. When he slept over. at mine, he would rinse in the evenings, yet still opted to take his normal. morning shower. When the visit would. come to an end, I would use that as my. opportunity to launder my sheets. Now. that we're getting ready to move in. together, we've both realized that we're.

unsure how to go about sharing a bed. daily with this kind of routine. I don't. feel comfortable with a morning shower. bringing germs into my bed daily. Yet, he did say to me that he does not want. to budge on his hygiene routine. I don't. want to ask him to accommodate me on. this because he does accommodate me in. so many other ways. Is there a creative. solution to this? I am not open to the. idea of separate bedrooms or two beds in. the same room. I just bought a brand new. mattress last year, lol. I thought about.

possibly the Scandinavian sleep method, but I'm unsure how that would work with. fitted flat sheets. I see how it would. work for duvet. Has anyone else. experienced this before? What else could. be done? Part of growth with OCD is. learning to tolerate behaviors that go. directly against your instinct with the. disorder. And I've grown in a lot of. areas, but this is one I'm struggling to. grow from. I feel like there are certain. opinions and preferences I am allowed to. maintain. And if I could only pick and.

choose a handful of them, this would be. one of them. I do genuinely want to. compromise, though. Thank you again. >> And that's the most important thing. here. I mean, there's a lot to get into, but if you're willing to compromise and. you have someone that isn't, again, it's. like, let's work together, people. I get. not wanting to change your routine. My. routine's been the same since I was, you. know, in elementary school, middle. school. I've always been a night shower. I love a morning shower. I don't usually.

take one, but man, is it nice to wake up. and walk in hot water. It wakes you up. It's like I can't think of anything. better right away in the morning. But. yet again, I'm still a night shower. >> But I don't understand why it's so. difficult for him to do that like baby. rinse. Like just do the little rinse. rinse. You can do it before or after. your girlfriend showers. Like you're not. going to waste that much water. Just hop. in, body wash, hop out. You don't have. to wash your hair. you, unless that's.

like a part of what she expects. >> But like a little body rinse like he was. doing when he was staying over, that's a. fair compromise. And then you still get. your morning routine. >> Yeah. You just have to have each person. see that they're compromising. Like he. would have to recognize she's. compromising in certain ways that he is. too. It's not that he's indebted with. this extra I got to get in and do this. chore. Because when you shower when you. don't want to, it feels like a chore.

Whereas a lot of times showering feels. like this break from the day. You get. clean and it's really enjoyable. If he. sees it as a chore, he needs to see that. you're also making compromises to like. you're you're even you're working. together to do this because I have the. same feeling as her. I don't love going. through the whole day and getting in. bed. It doesn't for me apply to my. partner so much, but it would be more. like I don't really want to get into bed. dirty, especially with, you know, we're.

taking care of horses on the daily. We're out there all the time and there's. dust and it's dirty and whatever. I. don't love to do that and then think, "Oh, I'm just going to go jump in bed.". I I agree with her on that. I don't. know. It's hard because I think the. compromise you suggested is perfect. I. think that's easy. >> Enough. >> That's [snorts] easy. We're talking 5. minutes max. >> Um, you can hop in, rinse 60 seconds. >> Well, right in the physical, but I'm. saying to undress, get out, dry off.

Like, you're in and out. And you're. you're getting pretty clean. I don't. know if you're getting dry skin or. whatever, but [laughter]. I You just got to think of all angles of. this. >> Yeah, I think that is beyond fair. I. also cannot recommend the Scandinavian. separate duvet enough. Yes, >> Justin and I do that. It's incredible. Not fighting with someone over the. covers, not waking up because you're too. hot or too cold, which is the number one. sleep disruptor is temperature.

imbalance. It's incredible. This, if you. wanted your own fitted sheet, which also. could be a really good compromise. Like, we truly have our own sleep sets. Like, I have my own fitted sheet. I have my. own duvet. You have to get two beds, two. twin beds, and push them together. And. then you just buy twin sheets, >> right? >> That's what they have in a lot of. countries. >> I know. And are they literally just twin. beds or they just twin beds? >> Okay. I didn't know if they push. >> them together. >> I didn't know if they had ones that were.

specifically. meant to be pushed together and they. kind of operate that way. >> I guess I just assumed they were two. twin beds and they push them together. There's maybe bed frames that are made. that way where they could separate but. they push together to make one and it's. just two separate sleeping situations, sleeping setups. >> I mean there are some bed frames that. are kind of made in that way like this. eco adjustable bed frame. It's.

>> oh. >> one frame and two twins and you can up. it or whatever. I mean, think about like. Tempropedic or whatever the bougie beds. are where there's like literally two. sides and you can adjust temperature and. >> elevation and whatever. Like it's kind. of a thing. >> Yeah. >> But the cheapest, easiest way would be. to just buy two twin beds. Like twin bed. mattresses are pretty affordable. Frames. are pretty affordable, >> right? Cuz I think the reality for most. people is you're probably not cuddling. all night long. Some people Some people.

do. >> And you could still have one headboard. you would just do the two f twin frame. bases. >> and one headboard. It looks like a queen. or king bed or whatever, >> then you're truly not interacting while. you sleep within each other's sheets. >> Yeah. >> But that's more of an investment. So you. you kind of can go to him and say, "Hey, you know, we're moving in together. I'm. so excited. Here's two options that I've. kind of come up with that feel like.

they're a fair compromise for both of. us. Option one, you do a quick rinse. before you go to sleep every day. >> Easy. Keep up with your morning routine. Fine. Or option two, which is a little. bit more of an investment moneywise, but. we change our bed out and go to two twin. beds and different duvets. What do you. think? >> Yep. Cuz you stink. Yeah, I totally relate to that. I'm not a big.

don't shower at night person. I again, it's probably because we do get dirty. and dusty taking care of the horses. But. even if I weren't going to go outside. and do that, it just feels nice to like. wipe off the day. >> Totally. >> And there's even times where I know I. have to shower in the morning because I. need to wash my hair. I don't like. washing my hair at night because it's. not great for your hair, allegedly. So, I'll do the quick rinse. Yeah. And. shower like it's not hard, but you know, maybe morning showers are just it's what.

motivates him for whatever reason. >> Oh, they're wonderful. Morning shower is. wonderful. How about the people that get. off a long airplane ride and hop right. in bed? Oh, in at home. >> I mean, >> in a hotel is one thing. >> I've had mental health stints though. where I like I didn't shower for three. days. >> That's fine. But I'm saying on the. regular regular routine every day. >> Yeah. When you're good, your mental. health is good. >> Nothing else is impeding you. >> Yeah. You should. >> get off the plane and get.

>> I know. I know. >> Cuz then you got to wash the sheets. I. mean, come on. >> I know. So, top comment on this one. 2.8K of votes. You both shower at 3:00. a.m. Meet in the middle. >> You know, with how we are technically. meant to sleep. Yeah. Okay. Can you talk. about that for a second? This was like. mindopening, mind shattering for me. I feel like my.

body works better in this way than the. traditional sleep schedule we've. adopted. >> Well, we're distorted. So, I'll try to. condense it as quick as I can. >> We can link the video Justin watched, too. >> Okay. Essentially, for all of history of what we can call. humans, we all lived with daylight and. darkness. Darkness was like can't see. your hand in front of your face, darkness, unless you had a really bright. moon, >> but otherwise there was no artificial.

light. We learned to control fire. Great. Fire created this circle of. safety. Predators didn't really come. near it. Fire is where they think human. culture really started because daytime. was mostly about function. Who's hunting. what? Where are we going? How are we. doing this? Nighttime was actually where. people started to tell stories and come. up with ideas and thoughts about the. world and the bigger picture and. everything. This led to. controlling fire which led to very very.

recently like.1%. of all of our existence. We had gas. lamps, we had candles, and now we have. lights. What lights do is they extend. this natural daytime to be a lot longer. Your brain doesn't decipher between. daylight and artificial light. It just. thinks, "Son, I need to be awake." So, you don't produce. melatonin and everything that starts to.

have you go to sleep. So, for all of. history, everyone naturally would fall. asleep near sunset for 4 hours roughly, wake up for 1 to two, maybe 3 hours, and. then they'd go back to bed for 4 hours. And essentially, that wakes you up right. around sunrise. They did a sleep study where they had a. certain I don't know how many people, you have to look it up. Uh, and it's in. the video where they took some people.

for a month and had them live with no. artificial light, no fire, nothing. They. just had the sun and then they had. darkness. How did they experiment. >> naturally settled into the exact pattern. all separately, none of them. interacting, fell into a pattern of. falling asleep right around sunset. They. woke up for the 1 to two hours in the. middle and then they fell back asleep. for another 4 hours. And during that one. to two hours is like it explains there's.

so many cool things that people would do. during that time because you're in this. different mental state and they'd be. ultra creative. They'd be ultra. everything. It's just. >> that's how I find my body. >> Really trying to explain it, but that's. why. you get tired in the middle of the day. because we are so offset. You were never. meant technically to sleep an eight hour. duration straight through. >> No. And we really didn't start doing.

that until modern times. Henry Ford. >> Henry Ford literally was the one that. kind of implemented this. >> 8 hours of sleep. You're working 40. hours. The modern 9 to5. Like that was. Henry Ford. So it's crazy. It's it's so. recent in human history and it was all a. part of capitalism. So, it'll be. interesting to see where we shift as we. shift with things and is this AI bubble. going to burst? Like, we're all feeling.

it right now. Like, I tried to buy a. hard drive today to like have more room. for files for the podcast. Hard drives. are up in price. 246%. right now because all of these chip. manufacturers are sending their [ __ ] to. AI data centers. And it's like, [sighs]. and again, like I don't think any of us. knew how crazy this AI was going to get. And I I think a lot of us were hopeful.

We heard about how AI was helping in. medicine and and is helping in medicine. Like there's some AI thing I just saw. that can detect pancreatic cancer or. prostate cancer years before doctors can. because of the model it's trained on and. symptoms and whatever. Mhm. >> And I'm like, how incredible is that? But then we have this downside of of AI. and the data centers and the eco. problems. And it's like again, brain. Fred, I don't know you guys. I need I.

need help sorting through it. Maybe we. do like a Zoom call and we can all just. talk and connect and we need we need. like an AI expert and an environmental. expert and we all just like sort through. the mess of this because I'm not. educated enough at all. We just meet in. a big field at dawn and we all have our. swords. >> That sounds great. >> Again, back to the Renaissance Festival. I want to go so bad. Which I saw the. comments and I literally as I was. editing I was like, "Oh my god, how did.

we miss that?". >> That's going to be on an episode someday. where we go back and we watch our. reactions and we're like, "Okay, no, but. I want to add on. >> a little bit. Not a doover, but a. >> a a bonus take." But back to the sleep. story. I think we've provided some very. reasonable compromises. Some other comments provide a few more. >> Sure. >> I'm also a strict night shower and hate. getting in bed dirty and my fiance. sometimes skips a day showering. After a.

trip to Iceland, we adopted the. Scandinavian method with our queen bed. using two duvet and it worked out quite. well. We still have to share the fitted. sheet obviously, but it's not too bad. since we just stay on our respective. sides. might be worth a try for you." OP. responds, "Thank you for the reply. I'm. thinking that might be the best bet. while I desensitize myself to the new. routine and continue working on. exposures with my therapist.". >> Yeah, it does really help. I mean, not. even just for sleep, but it does make.

you feel like you are in your own little. bubble. >> It's so nice. >> It feels like Morgan's germs don't come. attack me. It really does feel. [laughter] that way. >> You're funny. Well, like they're they're. they're not getting through cuz they'd. have to get. >> No, cuz you kind of just like it creates. this like wall too cuz my duvet goes. over and then your duvet goes over and. we have like two layers of duvet between. our bodies. >> And then if you want to cuddle, you got. to like sift through all the layers of. things. >> Tricky. Or if I'm cold, I like have mine. and I don't let Justin in mine, but I'll.

then take his and put it over me. >> Multifunctional. >> You really do get the best of every. world. You really do. highly recommend. everyone trying it. I talked to um Kayn. about it recently cuz her and Matt I've. told them about it cuz he's super tall. and she's tall but not that tall. >> Yeah. >> And um they tried it somewhere and they. were like it was so good but we don't do. it at home yet. And I was like, >> "Oh yeah, you got it. >> You will. You will.". >> And ditch the top sheet cuz that just. makes it a whole mess. There's no reason. for it.

>> And your duvet covers. You need to get a. duvet with a cover you can take apart. and wash. That's. >> Yeah. Right. >> But then if you don't have that, then. you do need a top sheet. >> Of course. Of course. But it is so much. easier and simpler without the top. sheet. I was religiously a top sheet. person my entire life. >> And when I first met you, it was really. a weird transition for me cuz I didn't. have that extra layer to pull up. >> I hate a top sheet. >> Now when we go to hotels and things and. there's top sheets, it's it's it's just. in the way. It's unnecessary for us.

>> I do like it at a hotel though. That's. like the place I love a top sheet at a. hotel. >> Yeah. cuz it feels clean. >> Clean somewhat. [laughter]. Uh, do you think this would be a good. first date question or second date? Like. if you're getting to know someone, would. this be a deal breaker early on? Granted, they're 3 years in. >> No. Well, no. I don't think so because I. think when you meet someone that is. single and has been single, you know, ideally you want someone who's been. single for a little bit of time at. least.

>> In that case, they. become set in their ways. At least I. was. I was very set in my ways. and the. ways I've evolved since meeting you. Obviously, we've evolved because we've. also gone through our whole 20s together. basically. >> But I've evolved because of you in so. many ways that if you had said like, "Hey, we're going to sleep with separate. duvet and no top sheet and blah blah.

blah." At first, I'd have been like, "Well, I always sleep with a top sheet.". That evolved for us. And I think that. it's not one of those types of questions. like, "Are you interested in having kids. one day?" Those big ones. >> This doesn't feel the same the same. level. >> No, >> no. This, I think, can evolve and you. can discover this. And in this way, you. can still find compromises along the. way. This isn't one that's too hard to. deal with. >> It is interesting, though. >> I don't know. There is apparently a.

sheet called a top split sheet set and. it's meant for those beds that have the. tops that can change based on what you. want. >> It looks like this, but I don't. understand how this would work on a. normal queen bed because this did come. up in the comments. Um, an OP saying. they would try this, but it doesn't work. on a normal bed. >> I mean, the germs the germs are jumping. the gap, but okay. you like it it. wouldn't there's no edge to grab on if. your tops don't split. Like it just.

physically wouldn't work on your back. >> and it would just kind of be in the way. and. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, I don't know. I think maybe I'm. confused, but I think uh two twin XL. mattresses equals one king. Put two twin. mattresses with their own fitted sheets. on one king frame, >> says a commenter Wiggles 101. Wiggles. Wiggles 105. >> Wiggle knows what's up. I think start. with the the fitted full queen with the. separate duvet and if you're still. having an issue then move to the twins.

>> Yeah. >> And then. if you're still having issues then we. just separate the twins. We put a. nightstand in between us. >> or like two I don't know two twin beds. near each other. That's like that's the. best of both worlds for them, >> right? Or you just get like a huge king. and you sleep on either edge. same sheet. though and that doesn't work. >> That's true. >> I will say I do love how much OP is. trying to just be like I'm going to work.

on this. This is a me thing. My OCD and. I'm like. >> girl like you are putting in so much. work and I really appreciate that but. like this also is like a normal. >> thing for a lot of people too. So like. don't put so much pressure on yourself. to like fix air quotes fix this. Like I. understand your mindset and I really. appreciate your willingness and. awareness to work on it, but at the same. time like this is kind of a normal. desire to want your partner to be clean. in bed when you go to sleep.

>> Yes. >> So I think there's solutions that will. appease that while also not putting so. much pressure upon yourself. >> No. And I want to see your effort. matched by your partner. >> Yes. And if it's not matched, then there. might be a discussion of like maybe we. shouldn't be moving in together because. it's then kind of more about respect and. just care and willingness to move. through life together and compromise. This probably isn't the first. compromise. It's definitely not going to. be the last. >> And this isn't going to be the hardest.

one. >> No, this feels easy except maybe. investing money, which could take some. time if you don't have the ability to. buy a new bed. But. >> but that's what you do as a as a couple. Yeah. you work through that. >> There's a cute comment here from OP2. that just says, "I do hope to be a. parent one day and kids are walking. petri dishes. I will have to get used to. it one day. Why not today?" Which also. makes sense about the motivation and. like wanting to just like really tackle. this. So. >> yeah, >> OP just seems so sweet. But okay, moving.

on to this next one. We don't have an. official update yet. I hope we get one, but until then, >> we got to move along. Okay, so this one is coming from Am I. the [ __ ] titled, "Am I the [ __ ]. for expecting my girlfriend to do my. half of her chores as well?". >> Okay. >> To do my half of her chores as well. >> My of her. Okay. >> Very confusing title, everyone.

[laughter]. I've been having arguments with my. girlfriend regarding chores for a while, and it just doesn't make any sense. When. we started dating, she mentioned how she. doesn't want to be a mom to me and wants. me to handle myself regarding domestic. duties. I was completely fine with that. I was living on my own when we met and. did everything by myself, managed my own. life. No problem at all. We moved in. together and we clashed a fair bit and. decided it would be best to just assign. certain chores and stick with that. She.

hates being in the kitchen and doesn't. want to cook. She also doesn't like. doing the dishes because of her nails. I. thought that was a pretty lame excuse, but whatever. I agreed to do everything. in the kitchen. That means all the. cooking, dishes, cleaning pans, wiping. down stoves, countertop, etc. Personally, I thought that was a. phenomenal deal for her, even if she did. everything else. She said, "Okay, you. handle that and we'll separate. everything else in half. We'll split the.

laundry, split the cleaning bathrooms. and toilets, take turns grocery. shopping, etc. Now, if everything was. shared, I would be fine with that. But. she wants me to handle the kitchen. entirely and split everything else. Her. argument is, well, you know how much I. hate these chores, but I'm willing to. split it with you, and that shows how. much I want to be a team, as I'm not. flat out refusing and being difficult. That doesn't make any sense to me. First.

of all, if I'm handling the kitchen for. both of us, which is daily, I think it's. more than fair for you alone to handle. laundry weekly, cleaning toilets, bathrooms weekly. When I ask her to do. my laundry or iron my clothes or. anything like that, she says that I'm. not your maid or your mom. What the. [ __ ] Am I not being your private chef? Am I not being your private dishwasher? I'm not throwing it in your face because. I'm willing to do that for the both of.

us. Also, frankly speaking, I don't give. a [ __ ] if you hate chores. It's part of. being an adult. They need to be done and. that's not a good excuse to pin more on. your partner because they are able to. deal with it better. It's just. frustrating. I honestly thought this. would be a I do this for both of us, you. do this for both of us, etc., which. would be so easy, but it's not. I don't. even think I'm being unreasonable at. all. In fact, I think I'm being more. than fair. Am I the [ __ ].

>> No, you are being more than fair. Uh, it's just simply. a mismatch because we could talk all day. about what's right and what's wrong and. what's fair. And, you know, I don't. think anything ever is truly 5050. Unless we're splitting a bill, sure. Then we can get down to the, you know, 50% mark. But nothing else is ever truly. going to be 5050. And I think you were.

you were going into it right. You were. communicating well. You guys discovered. an issue and you were communicating to. solve it in a really good way. >> Yeah. Now we see the equitable. sense of the chores in different ways. because. you're doing 75% and she's doing 25%. If. we take it to the percentage again, >> the issue is is is we're not agreeing on. how to operate as a team. It's an. overall issue. It's not laundry versus.

kitchen. I do think kitchen is a big one. Every. day kitchen takes longer than a lot of. other things do. But then again, that's. going to look different for every single. couple, every single team out there. But. when we can't come to an agreeance on. what that looks like and you've tried, then I don't know where you turn because. there's not a governing authority that's.

going to come in and say, "No, you must. do laundry because he is doing kitchen.". And that's just not going to happen. You. guys either will sort it out or you. won't. And the the thing about not. sorting it out is. it kind of takes you down as a. relationship. I mean, it it just won't. it won't end up working out because you. you have to figure out how to live. together to have a you know, a full.

rounded relationship. I don't understand. what she's not understanding about like. he's taking this whole huge chore. section off of her plate, so therefore. she needs to pick it up in a different. way in another area. Like there's got to. be a tradeoff. >> Yes. >> And I'm like, what's not clicking? And I. think this is honestly a pretty big red. flag for things going forward. What. happens if you get a pet and she doesn't. want to scoop poop, clean up anything,

take care of the pet? What happens if. you have a kid? She doesn't want to. change diapers. That's gross. I mean, there's other areas where you could kind. of equate that to. Like, I would also. say, "Hey, guess what? I'm not taking. all the kitchen stuff anymore. It's back. to 50/50, girl. You're not picking up in. other areas. No one likes chores. That's. what being an adult is, though. You can. come help in the kitchen now. >> Cook a couple meals. Get in there. Get. in there, little doggy.". >> Yeah. >> Let's go. Well, I think if one person. predominantly is the the cook or is.

predominantly the laundry doer, that. doesn't mean you should let laundry pile. up forever because they do 100% of it. I. think the other person should always. take on a little bit. >> Mhm. >> If she had to cook one night because of. the circumstances that day, that should. not be a an issue. >> Yeah. You always should be able to do. everything while specializing, but it's. like you can't just be I will never set.

foot in the kitchen ever. No matter. what, even if you're dying in the. hospital, >> I'm still going to wait for you to cook. my meal. >> It's weird. >> Like, you have to be flexible. >> I mean, I hate cooking. A lot of you. guys know this. I don't handle a. majority of our meals, but like I would. say we're probably I don't know would. you say like 7030. on like you're in the kitchen cooking. I'm just cooking like I do dishwasher. I. feel like otherwise it's pretty even but. like cooking wise I really hate cooking. but then I'm happy to do other stuff. I.

don't need you to vacuum ever. I'll. clean the toilets. >> Oh, I like a good vacuum. >> I love laundry. >> I I will still do everything. I know. Even if like laundry was your task, I. would still be putting in loads here and. there. >> Yeah. And this just this is not it, my. guy. Like you're getting a glimpse. This. is what it'll be. Top comment with 13K. up votes. She didn't want to mum you. She wants you to mum her. >> Yeah. >> Next comment. This do as I say, not as I.

do. Next comment down. The irony is. wild. She dodged being your mom so she. could turn you into her dad who handles. all the daily grind. >> Yeah, slipper slope. >> Next comment. Exactly this. Throw the. whole woman away. [snorts] Someone says, "Not the [ __ ] Kitchen chores are the. worst. Living with someone who doesn't. understand that is a pain. Laundry is by. far the easiest chore. It's 10 minutes. of actual work loading and unloading.

slashputting away." 5k up votes. Someone. responds, "If someone offered to do. everything in the kitchen for me, I'd. jump at it, even if that means doing. everything else. Apparently, it's just. me, lol. It's pretty labor intensive to. do every single day, especially if you. eat three meals a day, which I wager. most people. So many chores are done. weekly and only take 30 minutes at most. I would happily take this deal if you. want to offer this to me.". >> I mean, sure, but our laundry is pretty. hard to navigate, I would say, too.

we're kind of particular, but [laughter]. the thing is is it's it's not equitable. that we're not I don't think that's the. right word, but it's not fair even from. an outsider. Everyone determines their. own fairness. So that's why I think it's. just a mismatch. Look at all these other. people that are like, "Oh my god, present that to Yep. Let's do it. I'll. do everything. I'll do more.". >> I know. It's goofy. It's goofy. No update on this one. OP has deleted. the post, but searching their account.

still active on Reddit commenting in. r/changemy view r/ stupid questions. >> Stupid questions is a great one. >> R/ no stupid questions. >> That one too. >> But yeah, not seeing any comments in. regards to. this. So that's all we got. >> Okay, >> all we got here. Moving on to this next. one. >> Moving on. >> This one is coming from Relationship.

Advice 9 days old. It is titled, "How. can I, 37 female, tell my husband, 38. male, that he's not allowed to use his. deceased grandmother's china?" Yes, this. makes me an [ __ ] I get it. I still. want to open this up for discussion with. him. My husband's grandma had a set of. antique china that she painstakingly. collected over her lifetime. It's. beautiful. And one of the last times I. saw her, she told me how sad she was.

that she had nobody to leave it to who. would appreciate it. I said that I was. sure one of her other relatives would. love it, but that if she wanted to leave. it to me, I would absolutely cherish it. I was worried that it was inappropriate. to say that, but she seemed thrilled and. packed it up for me that same day. That. was 5 years ago. My husband and I do not. agree on how this tea set should be. used. I think it should be put away and. taken out a few times a year for. birthdays or when we want to be fancy or.

just deliberately remember his grandma. He wants to use them much more often. When I'm away, I know he drinks coffee. from the teacups everyday, for instance. The problem is he's also extremely. clumsy. We go through dishes really. quickly. a new set of drinking glasses. at least once a year. He breaks at least. one dish every month. He broke the. teapot the first year we had it. He. initially promised to replace it, but.

then realized it would cost a fair. amount of money and never did. I. replaced it in the end. He's broken two. teacups already. I loved his grandma, but obviously I didn't love her as much. as he did. They were very important to. each other and I know using the china. makes him feel close to her. But I also. know that she loved her china collection. and was very careful with it. I think. she left it to me because she knew I. would do the same. I hate that it keeps.

getting broken. I know my husband likes. to drink coffee out of more delicate. cups, so I buy him a secondhand China. teacup every time he needs a new one. Today I went to do the dishes and moved. a heavy pan in the sink only to find one. of his grandma's teacups unbroken. thankfully right underneath it. I said. passive aggressively I realized. hey when did you start using these as. everyday cups again? And he said.

oh well I broke my everyday one last. week. I am frustrated and annoyed. It's. important to me that this China be. protected to a reasonable degree. I'm. not saying we should never use them, just that we should be deliberate and. careful about it. I don't know how to. get him on board or whether I should. just let this go and let them get. broken. >> I fully agree with that point there. >> It's a very dicey situation. It's not.

crazy high stakes. It's not some crazy. relationship thing going on here, but. it really does make you think it almost. goes um what was like Socrates and all. them. What were they. >> philosophers? >> It almost makes you go to the philosophy. of it. What does what would a. philosopher say? >> What is the right and wrong? No matter. what his use of it is, is that wrong?

because it was his grandma. Yes, it. wasn't directly passed, but at the same. time, where was he in the conversation. about the china originally being handed. down when his grandma was still here? What was the interaction there? >> I mean, based on what OP wrote, I think. these china pieces, this collection was. given to OP, the wife. >> No, I know that. >> because she would cherish it and. appreciate it, >> right? But where was he at that time in.

that discussion? >> No mention. irrelevant. >> So like had I wish I had known had. grandma offered it to him and it just. there it just wasn't. >> I don't think so because grandma was. worried and talking to the wife and. being like I don't think anyone. cherishes these. No one's going to love. them like I will. I spent my life 70 80. years collecting this china. >> Yeah. >> I'm worried that no one's going to care. that they'll end up on a Goodwill shelf.

>> Goodwill. I saw your comments. See, >> and so I think at that moment it was. like she piped up not wanting to step on. anyone's toes and said, "I'm sure. someone would cherish them, but like if. no one, you know, you don't think. anyone's going to fit, I'll take them.". >> Grandma immediately packed them up. because she saw the love. >> I don't think he had love, expressed. love. Maybe now that grandma's gone, he. looks at them and has these fond. memories of grandma and her china. cabinet, but he does not respect them by.

any means. his disregard for these cups. I can't. imagine loving them, respecting them. because they were my grandma's and. putting them in the sink under a heavy. pan. I don't think those two go hand in. hand. So, I'm like, does he like a. dainty cup and you just need to go to a. thrift store and buy 20 dainty cups? >> She's tried. >> I over and over. >> And I know like this is not that big of. a deal. this would send me. I would be.

enraged. He's broken two and the teapot. and then never replaced it. So, you. don't care about your grandma's piece. and collection because you wouldn't have. been so careless with it. And you don't. care about me because when you did break. it, you know how much it meant to me and. you told me you'd replace it, but you. never did. You left your burden of the. broken teapot and placed it on me. I'm like, what? What? What? It's so.

frustrating to me. And I hate that OP at. the top was like, "Yes, this makes me an. [ __ ] I get it. I am Am I missing something?" Cuz like I. don't think you're an [ __ ] based on. the information I have. >> No, I think I agree with all of all of. the points from her. It's just. who is it? It's theirs. But at the same. time, for me, this this would have. always been kind of a display only set.

>> I agree. >> China cabinet is the is a term for a. reason. And then you have the plates on. the stands where they face outward and. you can set it all up with the behind. the glass. >> and it's there as display. It's not. really there to be used, especially not. daily use. But I'd be nervous even using. something like this on occasion. Yeah, I. think there's fancy occasions. I think. if you have a little brunch and you want. to have, you know, your family use this. china, I think that's beautiful. My.

grandma Margaret uses her fancy china. for things like Thanksgiving and. Christmas dinner, and it's twice a year, three times a year. Maybe whip them out. for Easter, too. But like, >> it's fine during those moments because. you're more mindful that, oh my gosh, okay, fancy dinner, fancy china, fancy. meal. you're not typically also throwing. them in the sink then putting pans on. top. >> Yeah. >> So, this would be like a really serious.

thing for me. And and I don't think in. my head, maybe I'm unique in this sense. I don't think the fact that it was his. grandma adds any more weight to him. being able to use these. Like, they were. gifted to OP because OP would cherish. them. He does not cherish them or things. would not end up continuously getting. broken. >> I mean, how do you break dishes so. often? Even regular dishes,

>> how do you break drinking glasses? >> The fact that you're going through a. drinking glass set a year? >> Yeah. And then one dish a month. How I. don't even know how you do that. >> I don't know. I haven't broken a dish. since I don't know. >> I can't even remember. >> It's been ages. >> Decades. I'm old. >> Get into the comments because OP does. have a little bit of an edit that was. added. I have not read it. But let's get.

into the comments first. Top comment. with almost 3K up votes. Is there. something wrong with him? Like look, I'm. clumsy. I have ADHD. I break a few. dishes now and then. He broke the. teapot, promised to replace it, backed. out, and then instead of feeling. shameful, you had to replace it. yourself. He continued to use and break. the set. Like, dot dot dot dot dot dot dot. This. feels like the symptom of a deeper. issue. Being clumsy is one thing. Being. thoughtless and insisting to use.

something that was gifted to you feels. like a red flag, especially when you had. to replace it yourself. I would be very. upset. Easiest solution: image search. the set. Find cheaper cups that look. like the ones in the set. Box the real. things up. Let him break the new [ __ ]. >> without knowing. >> H. But that pisses me off because if you. have a china cabinet or like cabinets in. your kitchen that have the glass. >> I know. Cuz now you're hiding it away. and that's not what anyone would want. anyway. >> That's also risky. Like my dad boxed up.

a set of his nice plates and we dug them. out of storage and they were all broken. except like two. So that's also a risk. They're they're safe in the cupboard if. he will keep his grimy, irresponsible. paws off them. And that is a fair. boundary and a fair ask. Your past. behavior has removed your privilege to. the pretty cups. Act like a child and break cups. No cups. for you. >> When it's like the ones she was getting. from other places secondhand that were.

similarly delicate. Yeah, >> that would have been a great way to. prove, hey, I haven't broken this cup in. over a year. [laughter]. >> I'm ready to use the grandma's china. again. >> But nope. Every time breaks the cup over. and over. >> This guy have anger issues or something. and like throws stuff like I just don't. understand. >> Yeah. What's going on really? >> I just I don't know how you're breaking. the stuff. >> Beyond baffling. Someone does reply to.

the top comment and says, "Yes, I have. ADHD, too. Very clumsy, always breaking. and bumping into things, but every. single mug my partner uses is thrifted. or from her childhood and are all. extremely sentimental, and practically. irreplaceable. I broke one once, and we. were both devastated. I now make sure to. handle them with an iron grip because I. care. No amount of executive dysfunction. makes me forget to be super careful. every day. OP's husband is an asshole.". >> Yeah. Yeah, but I don't even want to use.

that stuff then if it's that. sentimental. I want to look at it. >> I know, but I don't Oh, what is his. thing? What is going on here? To where. he's like insistent on using these. >> I'm so. >> It could be some, you know, hindsight's. 2020. I miss my grandma. I feel. connected when I use these. You can. always make that argument in his. position. But then again, that. completely contrasts why they're un in. the sink, under the pan, or breaking all. the time. people do start pointing out.

as a major klutz myself. I would say the. rate he's breaking dishes is not normal. Is there a known condition he has such. as hand tremors or something that would. explain it? If he's got. >> early onset Parkinson's or MS or. something else going on that's causing a. tremor or decreased grip strength and. it's just slipping and blah blah blah. blah. Like that would make total sense. And then I'm like, okay, well, if that. were the case, then I understand how. maybe he's really trying and is he's.

frustrated, he's breaking things, he's. sad that he's losing his ability to hold. a a teacup or whatever. But again, if. that were the case, you then do have to. kind of be mindful that I need cups that. people don't care about. I need more info. So, the edit edit to. add. I didn't expect this many comments. that quickly. So, just to address. something everyone seems to be saying.

He's got pretty severe ADHD. A lot of. things get broken. Sometimes it's better. managed than others, but will go through. periods of time where there are a lot of. mishaps. Medication isn't an option, unfortunately. He's tried multiple. times. This isn't an issue of him just. not trying to get it under control. and. managing it through other means is kind. of inconsistently helpful. I'm not. absolving him of responsibility here, but it's not coming from a place of. maliciousness or uncaring.

>> Okay. So, now that we know that, it then. makes the case stronger to let's make. this a display China set. >> Exactly. And even in his position then knowing. that information, why and and the history of breaking, why would you want to keep using this. stuff knowing that it'll probably. continually be broken until we don't. have any left? You know, I'm just. curious what the argument would be. there.

>> I'm trying to see if there's any. comments from OP. There's one other post from a couple. years ago. How do I tell my guy he. doesn't need to buy me a Christmas. present, even though I am a Christmas. monster? We usually buy each other fun. and nice gifts on birthdays and. Christmas, but I'm starting to feel like. this is a source of stress for him. For. my last birthday, he bought me a. beautiful thing. I've been waiting for. ages, but he didn't actually order it. until the day of my birthday. He was. really, really apologetic and kind of. just made me feel awful and sad and like.

it was a stressful obligation for him. I. would have far preferred a nice card. over watching him sit at his laptop. trying to make a decision while dinner. got cold. I like giving things more than. I like getting them. So now, because I. am an anxious and obsessive person, I. can't stop worrying about Christmas. I. get a lot of joy out of making stockings. for my friends and delivering cookie. tins around town. I currently have. little lettershaped ham pies in the oven. to drop off at our local post office for. the workers there. I'm a holiday. monster. I've had my guy's Christmas. gift since August. I'm excited for him.

to have it, but if he didn't get me. anything, this nice present and this. thoughtful stocking are just going to. make him feel shitty. That's the last. thing I want. So, does anyone have. scripts for quote, "Please don't feel. obligated to buy me a present, even. though I've gone entirely overboard as. usual." I don't like that. It's not hard to get people gifts. And I. I understand his ADHD is very bad and he. struggles with a lot of executive. dysfunction and difficulty remembering. things and procrastination. And I get. it.

>> Yeah, >> I do. >> But like you should still feel cherished. and loved. And. >> you can always ask too if you're if. you're if it's really hard to get. something for someone, >> you could say ahead of time, what kind. of things are you looking at? What would. you like? If you struggle with that sort. of thing, cuz it it shows the effort. >> Mhm. >> It's all about the effort. >> Absolutely. >> And you know, if it's, hey, I would love. a nice night out, dinner, movie night, whatever it is,

that would be wonderful as a gift to me. Because a lot of people now are like, I. don't want things. I don't want stuff. So, it's like, well, what kind of. experience? What could I do for you on. your birthday that would make it. special? That is easy to ask. Doesn't. take away. Yeah. It's not a surprise. gift, but I think it it shows that. effort, and that's what people want. >> I know. And it doesn't seem like he's. putting in as much effort. Um, OP does. have some comments. I'm able to find.

them on my handy dandy little sneaky. website I'm using now. Um, a lot more. insight into his patterns and behavior. Like he once left his laptop on the roof. of his car and drove away with it up. there. Also, multiple times forgot to. put the car in park and got out of it. This doesn't happen anymore. He's put a. lot of work into managing more severe. stuff. I'm pretty sure his ADHD will. kill him at some point. That's like some. pretty severe ADHD. That's like scary. The parking thing is.

really scary. People die. Like. >> that car went into that canal. I forget. if that was on the show or that was a. news thing, but. >> there was um there was like a factory. recall issue with a certain car brand. and I don't want to say in case I'm. wrong and defamation, but there was a. glitch where people would put their car. in park and it wouldn't actually engage. and they would get out and it would. literally run them over. >> People died. It's like the gas pedal. sticking back in the day. Remember that?

>> My god. >> Crazy. >> So, people do ask why medication isn't. an option. Not second guessing him. Just. curious. I also got diagnosed late in. life and meds have been good for me. OP. responds, "Ugh, I didn't want to get. into this because of how much he's being. piled on already." And fair enough, he. was being an ass about this, but he's. got some serious problems with. addiction. Non-stimulant meds don't do. anything for him, and he can't be on the. stimulants without abusing them. Meds. made a huge difference when he was able. to be on them. So, he kept trying to. find a way to regulate it, but it went.

off the rails every time. >> That makes sense. >> Yeah, it's tough. >> It cost OP $300 just to replace the. teapot. We aren't the kind of people who. buy stuff like this. >> Yeah, >> OP does share what the pattern is. It is. the Royal Elbert Lauren snowdrop. pattern. It is absolutely beautiful. And to just. get a teacup and saucer is $30,

which is like I mean, if you think about. cost, like we buy all of our drinking. glasses from like TJ Maxx, HomeGoods, like you can get a box of like eight. drinking glasses, >> 30 bucks, same price, >> indestructible. >> But this is what it looks like. It's. like got a beautiful green tinted gold. foil around all the edges. >> Yeah. You know, see I. >> It's beautiful. >> I think you find one off pieces like.

that that are the same set that match, replace. some of the cups up there, wherever. these are stored. >> Mhm. And then at least you're I mean. you're still breaking technically the. same thing, but it's not the it's not. the one that's from grandma. >> I know. Well, there is a set available. right now on Etsy for $429. And I know OP said we're not the type of. people to buy this stuff. $300 for the. teapot. But considering you've got the.

cups 30, 60, 90, 120, 150, a $300 tea. thing. 450 a big serving platter. >> This person's pretty fairly priced. Slight discount. >> Do you think that's bad though? Is it. bad to replace things and not say? And. then when all of the stuff seems to be. broken, you're like, "Hey, just kidding. >> Grandma said it's tucked away safe.". Then someone's like, [sighs and gasps].

>> then you got a whole other problem on. your hands. This is kind of a lose-lose. >> It is interesting. >> cuz you can't you can't be deceptive and. lie. That'll never get you anywhere. good. It might save grandma's set, but. if it tanks your trust in the. relationship, then I'd rather lose. grandma's set than than lose the trust. There is a comment here from someone. else. Frankly, I don't get the. recommendations to pack it away and hide. it. Stick it in a box never to be used. Then what? Pass the box along to another.

relative in the future. Kind of defeats. the purpose of keeping the connection. What about a small display cabinet for. part of it? nice lit, clearly artistic, maybe with a picture or other momentos. of her. And make sure spouse is clear. This is not for use. It is on display to. be preserved. Art not for use at all. Then box the rest for use on special. occasions. If at that point he's yanking. a cup out of the display case for use, of course it's intentional. But this.

really may be the value of this stuff. for him is to actually use it. I can see. him perhaps feeling more of a connection. to using her china rather than simply. having it collecting dust in a closed. cabinet somewhere. So maybe a display. bridges that gap with the rest in an. actual sealed box. I think just display. it all. Don't touch. And then maybe buy. him a saucer. Say, "Hey, this is your. saucer that I bought. It's not. grandma's. You can use it." Or you buy. the saucer. You don't tell them and say, "This is the one cup you get. And after.

you break this cup, there is no more use. of the Lorentian snow drop pale green. saucer. No more once you break this one. >> No more. >> OP does respond. I like this. Thank you. I also hate the idea of it being boxed. away. We both feel connected to her when. we use it, and I don't want that to be. gone. I just want the use to be. intentional and careful. And if he's. using it every day, he's just dot dot.

dot dot dot not capable of maintaining. that level of care. Stuff he uses every. day gets broken very quickly. So I think that's a great great. solution. I'm curious how they're. displaying them now if they're not in a. display cabinet. >> I think they're just up with the rest. >> It makes sense why he's just accessing. them and can't keep his grimy paws off. them. They're right in front of him. Yeah, >> there are some beautiful. secondhand vintage restored hutches.

Like if you search Hutch on Facebook. Marketplace right now, >> they're coming back. >> Oh, I love a hutch. >> They're coming back. >> They're beautiful. They're so. functional. And I found a big one. Like. it was I think seven or eight feet. >> It was like 200 bucks cuz it's so big. and they don't want to deal with it. And. I'm like, >> it's like storage that you can put out. in plain sight. >> It's just beautiful. If you are a. collector of something and you want a. way to display it, >> also add some more cabinetry. I love a.

hutch, but they are big pieces and not. everyone has room for them. I get that. as well. [sighs]. >> I'm going to need an update from OP on. this one. Like really, really, really. bad. So, I'm sending a message and hope. it works out. How many messages do you. actually get back? >> You know, >> like what's your batting average? >> Not many at all. Um, I did get an update. back from the person who had their.

roommate masturbating with the door. open. They messaged me back actually. >> I don't know if I was. >> You weren't on that episode. It was It. was with Michaela. But, um, essentially. this person's roommate was like. masturbating with the door open, being. very loud. It was egregious. >> thing for them. Unfortunately, it. probably was and it's. >> very inappropriate and sexual. harassment. >> Yeah. >> And so I was like, "Hey, just wanted to. make sure you're okay." And the writer. did respond, "Hi, thank you for. checking." Yes, I'm okay. And it all. worked out with them. I was going to.

update soon, but I have a lot going on. It turns out they really didn't know. they were being so loud. And I'm. inclined to believe them. They were. really apologetic and embarrassed. They've never made me uncomfortable in. any other way before and usually are. very respectful. So, I truly don't think. they were doing it maliciously now that. I've talked to them. So, seemingly. worked out okay in that situation. >> So, fingers crossed everyone that this. OP gets back to me. >> Yes. >> But moving along to the next one. Okay,

this is coming from our very own Two Hot. Takes subreddit. It's 2 months old. titled My Husband Wants a Porn Star. 10 years ago, I decided to turn my life. around. As a teenager, I got into drugs. and got into porn, and I did it for two. years. Well, at 20 years old, I was. invited to church with my brother and. decided to turn my life around. I met my. husband in church, and we have a great. life. We've had two babies together, and.

we are almost 5 years into our marriage. Me, 28, female, and my husband, 36, male, have a great relationship. But. tonight, he sat me down and he told me. that he wanted to have a serious. conversation with me. He knew about my. past and tonight he showed me a video of. me from when I was 18 years old. He said. that he wished that I acted like that in. bed now. The only problem is back then I. was acting all of it. None of that was.

real. I was overexaggerating expressions. just to get paid. I have no desire to. act like that. It was literally only for. the money. So now I don't know what to. do. He wants me to act like the girl I. was back then before we ever even met. I. love him and I want us to have a healthy. sexual relationship, but how do I get. past this? Edit: He knew about my past. because I told him before we got.

married. He knew the name I went by, so. it wasn't like he just stumbled upon it. while watching something else. >> Smart. Uh, >> yeah, honesty. Honesty is always the. best policy. >> Yes. Well, I would put it how you did in. the post. >> That's exactly what I would say. And. there's not much more that needs to be. said. It's you're not interested in. that. It was all an act. I don't want to.

act and feel like I have to put on a. show every time we are. >> together intimate. >> Yeah. Like what? It's not It's so. different now. That was for that. purpose. This is so This is for so many. other things. This is for our love and. everything. It feels so different. It's. kind of like in a world how it's, and. this is such a bad comparison, but how. it feels just sleeping with someone on a. one night stand versus when you're.

sleeping with someone that you've been. with, you have such a connection with. I. wouldn't want to put put on all that. show either. I wouldn't want to do what. what we want. And so now we're in a. really really weird territory where he's. pulling up other videos and like you. know he's watching these and and now. >> making assumptions and just. >> it just gets into a weird territory. where it's like you're watching me when.

I was that I'm trying to distance myself. from all of that. you know, was that. happened, but now I'm here and I'm with. you and this is what we have. And it's. just weird for him to pull that and then. show it and be like, I want you to do. this with me. I just don't like it. >> I just don't understand. Like, do you. want real or do you want fake? Do you. want mutually beneficial where I feel.

satisfied and I'm being heard and my. needs are being met or is it self-. serving for you and you want a. performance? And by the sounds of this, you know, this was a tough time for OP. We don't know if him bringing these. videos up was kind of traumatic for her. There's there's so much context there. that we. >> can't even begin to understand. So there's also a side of this where it. could be hurtful where it's like that's. not me. I went through a lot and that. was a tough time and now here I am. And.

so I do think you need to have a. heartto-he heart with him. Be honest. That was a performance that was not. real. Don't you want real? On another side of this, if OP is. comfortable with this past and there's. no, you know, reinduced trauma by. bringing this up, there could be. something where it's like, hey, you. know, if you want to spice things up, yeah, every now and again we could go a. little crazier,

but that's exhausting to do that every. time. And that's also not you and who. you are. And you shouldn't have to. perform in bed constantly. But I'm I'm genuinely curious if he. thinks that that was real. Like, do you. find Have you ever talked about porn. with your friends or watching porn? Like, is that something guys ever I. mean, maybe not you, but I'm curious if. there's any guys out there listening who. have ever talked about porn with their.

friends or the fact that like, >> oh, I'm sure. >> porn isn't real, >> but like is it a common misconception? >> Yes, 100%. People look at porn and. they're like, "That's real.". >> Yeah. Because we've seen that through so. many different things, even stories on. this show. >> I'm like, "How?". >> Where I mean, we all know that in I. guess it's just been shown to us through. so many different things that guys do. have very unrealistic expectations. because of that. And they'll use that as.

the this is the expectation. Oh, when it's not that, I'm not. satisfied because that's. >> it just sets the bar in such a weird. place where it's like I don't even know. how to explain it, but I have not had. >> at least any that I remember. I mean, it. would probably be way back in high. school or something if you were ever. talking about porn. Yeah. >> But I've like never sat down with the. guys and watched porn. Like that'd be.

weird. >> Some people do do that though. I no I. don't doubt it. I do think that porn has. created crazy. unrealistic expectations. through. >> agree. >> everyone and [clears throat]. well not everyone but I mean like all. types with it. Yeah. And it just kind of. bleeds into all other areas of society. and expectations, standards, and it's. again, yeah, unrealistic. Comments-wise here, the top comment with.

3.5K, I'd tell him exactly what you said here, that it was acting and not reflective of. what you enjoy. If he understands that, maybe you two can explore what feels fun. and natural for both of you now instead. of trying to recreate a scripted version. of the past. Someone responds, "This is. the best answer on here." Next one. That. dude was looking for her porn. Oh my. god. Next one. It's his literal wife, bro. And I guess there is a side of like.

I'm curious about it. Like I if someone. I had started dating or seeing initially. was like, "Oh, I used to be blah blah. blah sex worker. I used to do this. I. used to do that." I would look it up. It. doesn't matter what it was or what they. did. I'm nosy and curious. I feel like. that's normal to look it up. >> Yeah. But it's different than when you. take it and say, "Hey, see this? Remember this? >> I want that.". >> Yeah. There's another comment here. Show. them this post in about 24 hours and all. the comments that come with it. It's. going to be a slew of random stuff. Some.

might stick in the cracks of your. relationship. Some won't. Personally, I'd sit them down and say, "I can play. act occasionally. I get it. That's fun. But, you know, I wasn't actually having. fun then. I was creating content and. faking it to get money." You can see. that, right? So happy to spice things up. and do some random things, but not happy. to move everything over to a. male-dominated fantasy land because. frankly that wasn't much fun for me. >> And then tell him what is fun for you. If porn is okay in your marriage, show. him porn you like. If it's not, gently.

remind him that and say, "I am okay with. play acting, but can you please remember. we talked about no porn?" So get your. ideas off your own steam. Yeah, not from. Pornhub. And tell him what is not fun. either. I love that. I think that's like. kind of what I was trying to get at if I. didn't. So, that sounds amazing. >> Yeah, >> we don't have an update from OP yet, but. uh OP, if you're out there listening, we. would love one. So, please update us.

Let us know how the conversation went, how things have evolved. Have they. gotten better? Is he kind of seen the. unrealistic side of the porn you did and. all porn? But please update us. Okay, friends. Going to take a little pause. here and come back and finish this. episode tomorrow. This was a feat for me. energy-wise, and I'm still not feeling. great. I literally went to Dry Bar today. cuz I couldn't wash my own hair and I. was like, just need someone to help me.

So, >> that is one of my favorite little hacks. If you're ever feeling blue, down in the. dumps, unmotivated, sick, whatever, having someone wash your hair for you is. so nice. So, Justin and I will run it. back tomorrow to finish this up. So, enjoy this ad. >> Right back like we never left. >> Yeah. Did you enjoy the ad? Thank you. for listening. Okay, so we're going on.

to this next story. It's coming from. true off my chest. It's titled I'm. convinced my wife can't taste cheese and. she refuses to accept it. So I, 26 male, have come to realize after being married. to my wife, 23 female, for a few years. that she cannot taste cheese and she. refuses to accept it. I noticed it off. hand at first. I would make a dish, I am. the primary cook in our household, that. was primarily cheese and she would say. that it had no flavor. So, I would.

season it up more and she would be okay. But then I started noticing if anything. relied on the taste of cheese, she would. say it had no taste. Mind you, she. claims to love anything cheese. But I'm. starting to think she likes the other. flavors with it. Last year, I tried to. make authentic Alfredo like you always. see people make on the internet. No. cream, just butter, garlic, real fresh. grated parmesan, etc. After making it, I.

thought it tasted really good, but she. said it just tasted like butter noodles. I then gave her a bite of just the. parmesan cheese, and she said that it. didn't have much flavor. From then on, I. have accepted that she cannot taste. cheese. She loves Caesar salads, always. wants parm on it, but I'm starting to. think she just likes the texture because. she doesn't seem to be able to taste it. on the salad. If we buy blocks of cheese. from like the cheese section at our.

local market, she says she can taste. those, but they have to be strong and. again seasoned with other flavors. If I. just give her cheddar cheese, she claims. it has little to no flavor. I have. brought this up on multiple occasions. and it has become a running joke between. us, but she still doesn't think that. it's her taste. I have even asked two of. my siblings if they could taste cheese. in a dish I made, and they said they. could. Yet, my wife told us she could. not. It really isn't that big of a deal.

It's just funny that she still claims to. love cheese, and she always wants cheese. on everything, but I don't think she can. taste it. I am always heavy on. seasonings and such anyways, so it. doesn't bother me. But when it's cheese. and crackers and she can't taste it, not. much I can do, lol. Also should mention. I think it could have been co that did. this to her because stuff she used to. like she doesn't think has flavor now. Just wanted to say this somewhere. Lol. >> Yeah, that would suck. That would suck.

I mean, I feel like cheese was robbed. for me in a way. >> Yeah, you're dairyfree boy now. >> Dairyfree these days, you know, but you. can definitely taste cheese. Parmesan, you know, there's levels. If you get a. real Parmesan where it's actually. stamped on the outside, >> you can definitely taste it. Or if you. get an aged sharp cheddar, >> sharp cheddar. Yeah. >> You can taste it. So, it's like if she's. not tasting those, then yeah, she. probably doesn't. But if you could taste.

them before, let's say it was CO. If you. could taste them before and now you. can't, you would still have this love. for what it is. And yes, it may be the. texture and you know, certain foods you. just can't eat with cheese. So now. sadly, I just can't have those foods. But I think you would still love cheese. You know, it's like. >> a mental thing. If you lost the ability. to experience something, but you used to. love it, you would still love that thing. even though you can't still necessarily.

experience it now. >> So, I think obviously, like they said, there's no issue. But it is it is. peculiar to lose. I'm I'm curious what. she also lost taste for. >> That doesn't Yeah. that she doesn't. like. I think it's just so weird where. it's like why do you care? And he's just. venting. He's just venting. I mean, he's. on true off my chest, but it's still. like it almost feels like he's. monitoring how much cheese and like he's. doing cheese calculations and like, oh, she going to taste that cheese. I was. going to say like I don't feel like.

parmesan has that much flavor. >> It depends. It's. >> like a sharp sharp cheddar. Yeah. A. Colby Jack with some peppery [ __ ] Yeah. But it's not super aggressive of like a. flavor. >> Yes. Uh, >> but I also don't like blue cheese cuz. blue cheese is flavorful. >> I've never even had it cuz I'm scared of. it. Or cottage cheese I haven't had. either cuz I'm scared of that too. >> Texture for cottage cheese I cannot do. Cannot do. No. >> Next time we go to the grocery store, we're going to get one of the parmesan.

that's stamped on the back. They're very. special, but it's like where they. actually look like the the design. >> Uhhuh. >> That will have real flavor. I do want to. do a cheese tasting because I know some. of you out there were going to send me. cheese to the PO box and I told my dad. to go check it. So, I hope there's. cheese in there. >> Like nonrefrigerated cheese. >> Cheese blocks. Yeah, they just seal them. up. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> Oh, so it's when they get cut then it's. then it becomes. >> I think it's bad. Yeah, cuz me and. Angela had a cheese story. The guy, he.

bought like $18,000 worth of cheese and. then it actually actually like ended up. getting incinerated. I did get an. update. I posted the update on our. Instagram for the cheese guy. He said it. all got incinerated. >> Huh. Is cheese ever really bad, though? Because cheese is technically mold, but. it's not the bad mold. It's not mold. that make you sick. >> We need a cheese engineer to come out. because can you start new cheese from. the mold of an old cheese? >> You know, but you need dairy in there. somewhere, sadly. >> I I guess I really don't know how you.

make cheese. We should look into that. Top comment on this one. First of all, I. thought to myself, how odd. Then I kept. reading and you mentioned that she. thinks it doesn't have a lot of flavor. usually. I think cheese doesn't have a. ton of flavor unless it's sharp. Right. >> now I'm worried. I don't taste cheese. >> Everyone's just making up this taste for. cheese. >> Literally, someone goes, I taste test for work. She. possibly has built up a bit of a. tolerance if she is a cheese fan. Also,

cheese taste isn't really an official. term or measurable on a surface level. with no controls. Maybe she's looking. for a umami flavor that salt is. offering, but cheese is not. I wouldn't. disregard that she's a cheese fan over. this. Basically being like, "No, she's. probably still a cheese fan.". >> Mommy flavor. >> Mum umami. >> Oh, >> umami. U m a m iami flavor.

>> Flavor. Umami identified as the fifth. basic taste alongside sweet, sour, bitter, and salty is a savory meaty. flavor caused by glutamate, idtoinate, and guanolate. Umami. >> Okay, cool. Never going to need to know. that. >> Things with umami flavor. Tomatoes, matcha tea, mushrooms, dry ham, aged. cheese, soy sauce, tuna. M I can do without.

>> Yeah, you don't really eat any of those. things. >> Soy sauce is salty. Yo, >> it's umami. It's savory. >> All I taste is salt. >> Oh, see I taste a savor. That's why I. like it. >> Soy sauce on a crunchy rice. Spicy tuna. thing. >> You should call it salt sauce. >> Little edamame dipped in there. >> Is there a Never mind. I'm going off off. the rails. >> Is there a liquid what. >> a liqufied salt? Like so instead of. sprinkling the salt, you can put a like. you can mix it in. but like a sauce like it's salt sauce.

but it's just salt. >> Salt sauce. [laughter]. >> I think it's all combined with. something. >> Yeah, it's got to be. >> There is like a salt original barbecue. sauce. Saltbased sauce by Dashy. >> Probably doesn't work well because of. chemistry, but salt dissolves in water. But then you just have salt water and. you wouldn't want to put that on food. >> No. No sir. Okay, moving on to this next. one. I just had to I had to give us a. little cheese. A little dash of cheese.

cuz he likes cheese. >> We were getting a little a little, you. know, it was kind of a lot on the the. first side of this episode. >> All cheese is good except for cheese. heads. >> The Packers, man. Yeah, >> football season without the cheese. >> is almost here. Okay, this next one is coming from r/. relationship advice. It's a month old. My male 33, wife, female, 28, cannot. accept that I dated a on what she calls.

a lowass woman, female, 30. We've been. married for 2 months and suddenly my ex. was the topic for a month now. Half your marriage. I have no idea why. this came up in the first place. probably popped up on Instagram. My wife. has been really pissed off. She said. she's disgusted by me dating a lowclass. woman. For background, my ex came from a. poor family, grew up without a father, single mom raising her. She is now.

earning quite well. She had some habits. that I didn't like and that's why I. broke up with her. My wife is from an. upper middle class family. She's been. top student from kindergarten to. university. She earns higher than my ex. She is a woman who always improves. herself, has a strong family culture. I. came from a middle-ass family, earning. well, too. I am a stubborn guy, though. I grew up with my grandparents as my. parents were working abroad. Studied in.

private schools from start to finish. They never met. I barely told my wife. anything about my ex. She has been on. and off about this topic, threatening. divorce or seeing other men that is of. higher quality than me just because she. thinks that my ex is low class. She said. she's been disgusted by me, that I even. considered to date that woman. She. doesn't want me to touch her or even be. near her. I'm going crazy. I can't do.

anything because it's in the past. She's. saying I don't understand her. What is. it exactly that I don't understand? I'm. confused. I also don't want the divorce. I have also asked if she's jealous and. she got even more angry and said that. it's confirmed that I don't even. understand her. What am I actually. missing? Does it really matter to some. people about the class status their. partner has dated? I have a psychiatrist. appointment because I don't know if I. have a mental health problem now. Any.

advice? >> I'll tell you what I'm missing is why. you don't want the divorce. What do you. mean? I don't want the divorce. >> Bye. >> Are you Too bad this didn't show itself. before you got married, but it doesn't. matter either way now. We know who we're. married to now. I I do not understand. people that just can't see people for. who they are. And it's like.

it's just it's so frustrating. Yes, you. dated this person in the past, but even. regardless, even if you hadn't dated them to look at. someone this way, and now because you. dated this person, now you're in the. category, too. Now you're this whatever. she wants to call you, >> however she's judging you, looking at. you. >> It's like this is just beyond. It's. almost being treated as this small.

little thing. This is huge. >> This This has so much context. This has. so many implications. >> Yeah. >> Imagine raising a kid with this person. >> Hell no. >> Your kid's going to be not who you want. them to be. >> No. And you've been married for 2. months. A month in, aka half your. marriage, she starts talking about your. ex. I'm so disgusted by you because you. dated a lowass person. Ma'am, if you're.

calling someone low class, you're low. class. It's like that just when you look. at other humans as less than you or you. degrade them. I find that so disgusting. We're all humans. We're all just trying. to get through this life one way or. another. Yes, we can. No one has to be. born into a place they're born into or. their status that they're born into. You. you don't pick your cards. You pop out. and you you deal with what you're. handed. So, [ __ ] you. [ __ ] your elitist.

attitude. I just like want to put some. bees in her bonnet because she's clearly. pissy for no good reason. And to then. start threatening divorce and to say, "You know what? You're not man enough. for me. I'm going to go look for higher. class men elsewhere.". >> Go ahead. >> So, you're going to cheat on me? >> Go ahead. I would not even care about. getting cheated on by this person. I'd. be happy about it. >> I don't understand why. >> More than bees, too. We need hornets or.

wasps or something that stings and can. keep stinging. Not the one time sting, you know. We need. >> A lot of people pick up on the cultural. thing. Um, someone says, "It sounds like. you're from some Asian, South Asian. background, and if so, I'd say I can. understand where she's coming from. completely. I'd also leave a man if he. had no standards. She probably feels. like she ended up marrying someone who. would just go for anyone as long as they. had a pulse." The concept of upper and. lower class is very different outside of.

Asia where they see it more like. elitism. Meanwhile, in Asia, a lot of. your morality, behaviors, consideration, and manners come from your class and. upbringing. In other places, everyone is. under the same as an upper class Asian, so they aren't able to imagine how. jarring the lowerass Asians are. She. most definitely feels like she's wasting. herself on someone who has no standards. >> Okay, is this the Hunger Games? OP. responds, "This is correct. Everything. you've said is correct." She said that. all her efforts and her parents' efforts.

were a waste. I didn't grow up with a. class system. That's why I can't. comprehend why it mattered. It. >> doesn't doesn't matter. >> She already brought up class status when. we were dating. It never sounded this. crazy. Someone goes, "Your wife sucks and you. know it. You'll ignore this. This. specific problem might get better or it. might not, but the relationship will. continue to be superficial for her. And. at some point, it'll break down over. something just as stupid. Just one piece. of advice while you wait for this. realization to sink in. All caps. Do not.

have children with this woman. >> OP responds, "We haven't done it in a. while. Having a child with her would be. impossible.". >> That's not the point, idiot. >> Um, someone asked, "Are you rich? Did. you marry her for money?" I'm not. She. knows that too. >> How did she pick you then if she has all. these standards? That's what I don't get. >> I don't know. >> She obviously chose you then, not. because of status, not because of class.

She chose you for you apparently based. on that. So then why can't she see that. people from different classes can still. fall in love? Look at Bridgetgerton. It's like that's a good recent example. of it. I get it's a a show. >> I mean, there's like real life examples. though, and I do kind of understand in a. sense where culturally we're not going. to relate, but there is a princess in.

Japan that gave up her title to marry a. commoner, like air quotes, right? And so. I just kept seeing like stories about. her come up because they had a child and. paparazzi is harassing and following her. in New York or somewhere and it's like. she gave up her title for love to live a. common life. Why are we still stalking. this person with paparazzi cameras? >> These people are annoying. >> Like what are we doing? But there is. that mentality there of like I mean look.

at the story we just had on Patreon with. the girl who went to Japan with her. boyfriend's family and she experienced. some racism there because they were a. mixed couple. And so it's like [sighs]. it's it's just experiences that I don't. think we're fully able to grasp being. white Americans. There's so much culture. and stigma and cast system still and I. just it's tough to to put yourself in.

those shoes when obviously we're we're. so not going to get it. >> That's fine. But then we are still. reading this post that is posted for a. reason. >> Yeah. >> Because you're unhappy now in this. marriage because of how your wife is. treating you and looking at you and. talking about your past. I know people. do ask where are you from? Um they are. from Southeast Asia. Someone says is it too late to get an. analment? OP says might not be.

>> No, I bet. Well, I I don't think so. I. know he in Minnesota is it 90 days? I. don't remember. Or is it a Is it a. federal standard or is it a state? >> I have no idea. >> because now then we're talking different. country too. Maybe. >> All I know is that we don't know where. they are. Britney Spears got one. Southeast Asia. Mm- Um, how long were you dating before. marriage? OP says a few months. >> Oh, >> it started really well. Like, we. understood each other and it was a. match. Someone says she sounds abusive.

and now that you're locked in, she's. starting to show her true colors. >> Yep. I felt that. >> Yeah. He hasn't really spoken about his. ex to her. She wouldn't consider. therapy. She told me to go to therapy. myself. So, I don't know if there's any. >> something's going on with this. Something's going on. If everything's. great, we know each other for a couple. months, we get married, and now like it. just I don't know anyone out there who.

would say that isn't quick. >> Months. Yeah. >> Know each other for a few months or. dated for a few months. I guess the. context, we don't know the background if. they were friends forever or whatever. >> That's true. Very true. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't know. She wasn't horrible. when we met. She was nice and caring. I. don't want to say which country we're. from, but it's the only one not. conquered by the West in SEA. They are different nationalities though. No historical hang-ups. Yeah, they're in.

Asia. We're all Asians. My wife, me and. my ex. Only difference is that we're. from different countries. So, just goofy. Absolutely goofy. You. know, we may not be qualified to comment. on it, but if that were written from. someone here, this was our friend. telling us, >> "Run the [ __ ] away.". >> This is the reaction we'd have. >> And still run the [ __ ] away. I, you. know, I hope we get to a point soon with. humanity where we start looking at other. people with different races and.

religions than us as humans. I think. what's happening in Gaza still is like. I'm like, wh is it going to end? everyone here like we're scratching our. heads and like we feel so paralyzed by. the inability to help and it's like when. is anyone going to step in? What's. happening? >> A lot of things that feel like that. It's just and it's there are a lot and. it's just like. like when will the world wake up and so. oh god you just like you hope he you. know gets out of this and then finds his.

person someone who isn't going to think. less of him and thinks he is just a good. person that they want to love and be. with not this need to find a high value. man. Yeah, crazy. That's a lot to go. forever with. I mean, >> the top comment, she is a woman who. always improves herself. They quote what. OP said and then they say, then why is. she a piece of [ __ ]. Next comment down, the irony of calling. another person low class when she has no.

class herself. Next comment down, I'm. guessing there's more. Perhaps a. minority race or something. Someone. replies, I'm getting India's cast system. vibes. I don't know. So, in response, that's what I thought. And also, the way. OP writes sounds like the way Indians. write. Source: I am Indian. Someone. says, "You're the [ __ ] for staying. You don't need a psychiatrist. You need. a divorce attorney." Someone else says, "You chose wrong.". >> Well, and they said that in the post,

like, "I'm not going to I don't want to. do the divorce." Because they knew that. that's what everyone would say. >> Yeah. You don't put that in there just. thinking, h well, let's see what people. say. You know what's coming. >> I mean, there's no way up from here. And. some comments did point to the fact that. she's probably using this divorce threat. as a form of manipulation, as a form of. abuse to control OP. And that's why the. mask has started to slip now that. they're married. She doesn't actually. want a divorce. She just wants a man she.

can control. >> That's what a lot of the commenters are. pointing to. >> Yeah. Luckily, we do get a brief update. >> Okay. >> I have agreed to her divorce offer. She's hoping to sell the rings to pay. whatever. She's also told me it's. because of me that she's like this and. she was never like this. >> Sure, >> it was my fault that I didn't trust her. It was my fault that we went to the same. places I went with my ex. I have no idea. where to bring her. It was my fault that.

I didn't tell her everything about my. past exes. Wouldn't it be weirder to. tell her where and what we did? >> It was my fault. I didn't listen to her. Suddenly, everything wasn't about my ex. >> Yep. Happened real quick, huh? >> Real quick, three-year-old account, verified email, seemingly pretty real. So, >> I mean, do you think she I everything. else aside, do you think she got into. the marriage and just kind of freaked.

out and was like, I did this after a few. months and I'm crashing out, so I got to. get out. >> I don't know. >> I It's just I don't know. It's wild. >> Wild indeed. One last quick one for us. >> Okay. I've been holding on to this one. for a while and it has to do with. domestic tasks and errands and household. management kind of things. So, I'm. curious what you think of it.

>> Very good. >> Definitely not necessarily in the. relationship problems category. >> Okay. >> But I want to read it and this feels. like it kind of fits. >> Okay. >> This is coming from r/confessions. I make appointments for things I. actually don't need. car shopping, apartment tours, insurance agents, etc. because I'm lonely. It's taking a lot. for me to write this. I'm 33 male and I. have no friends. I have a job that I. love and get along well with everyone.

Despite me doing well with my work, I'm. nervous and self-conscious around. people. I've tried joining groups for. social activities and find myself not. doing well in crowds. From time to time, I make appointments to go to stores for. things or services that I don't actually. need. Going to car dealerships to look. at what's there and chat with the. saleserson. Going to insurance agents, home life, auto for consultations, making consultations at dentist offices. Going into banks inquiring about opening.

accounts. I do this all to make small. talk with the employees. In a way, I'm. also doing this to try and improve on my. own social skills. I actually do enjoy a. lot of the interactions and they help me. get more comfortable. It's also my way. of getting out of the house and keeping. busy. I'm going to admit I know I'm. wasting the employees time though. I. know they could have dealt with people. that truly needed their service. potentially affecting their business in. a way. It's not healthy for me to keep. this up. I really wanted to get this off.

my chest and read all thoughts and. opinions here on this. Thank you. Well, in one way in those jobs, this is also. good practice for them. >> When you're in a sales position like. that, the more people and the more times. you have to have those conversations and. talk to people, it actually helps you. So, yes and no, however you want to look. at it. The thing that I find interesting. is those are the conversations I don't. like to have. I was going to say he is.

so much better than me because those are. all conversations like I struggle with. and put off. >> Yes. It's like calling someone. >> I'm scared to call [laughter] people. Like I don't enjoy being on the phone. >> Especially when you're cold calling for. a service or asking if they have a. product or. >> something like that. Those are the. conversations that I find hard harder. than. >> you know random happen stance. >> Yeah. So I feel like.

OP is very well equipped especially with. someone they can connect with. >> Yeah. >> Such as a friend or I know I know we. have the the effort to try and go do. social activities and that kind of. thing. I just wonder how much of that is. tied to any specific hobbies or if you. think you have any hobbies right now. even. So, it might just be a path of. discovery and discovering.

I need to see what I like to do. >> And then because everyone's got to like. to do something. There's something out. there as niche as it could be that. you're just not thinking of or you just. haven't hit on yet. And then that can. lead you to people that I feel are way. easier to converse with than the people. you currently are. I'm blown away by the. effort and I think OP, you know, saying. like, I've tried joining groups for. social activities and finding myself not. doing well in crowds. Start small. Like.

go to a coffee shop that's got a morning. meetup or a tiny book club or like. whatever, but like something you're. hopefully interested in. But. >> yeah, >> my dad used to go sit at the coffee shop. across from his house every morning and. hang out with his guys. And there was a. group of like sometimes two, sometimes. three, four or five guys. >> And he just met them there. and he just. met them there by being social. And you. know, I wanted to highlight this one. because it is so hard making friends. It's easy to feel alone right now and.

feel like you're crashing out. No one's. understanding you and you're so. disconnected. Like we've again, we've. lost the village in a sense lately. >> Yeah. >> And so I just applaud his effort and I. really just think that he's going to. find his people. Like look at how much. he's putting himself out there. It's. just going to take one of those agents. that's like, "Hey buddy, want to go for. a bike ride or like grab a beer?" Like. I'm not sure what he's into, but like. hopefully he will find his people.

>> Yeah. Well, especially considering the. car or the insurance talks. They're. going to ask you what you do. Well, what. kind of car are you looking cuz what do. you want to use it for? What do you go. do? Those could easily lead to. >> car club friend like just friends. >> something or I like to take my car here. because I like to hike. Oh well well and. maybe not so much it I wouldn't. necessarily count on sales people to.

randomly happen to become friends. because they're in such a sales mindset. Mhm. >> But the practice is great and I think. the same effort even though someone. isn't scheduled to meet you does kind of. apply to the coffee shop. >> where you're sitting there and you can. challenge yourself just to talk to one. person or compliment one person. >> You never know. >> I think connections are so often missed. by. people all over the scale. people that.

are hyper ultra extra social to every to. every scale of this. >> Mhm. >> Connections are being missed because. we're all so afraid to talk to each. other. >> I know. >> And then when someone actually does say. something to you, it's wow. And then you. start a conversation, whether or not you have trouble with. with social things, it feels so natural. And it's it just feels so good to get. back to that in a way because yeah, you're right. It has it has very much.

changed since co since Tik Tok all of. it. >> I know. We're constantly head down in. our phones constantly. It's just like. we need to just be more aware of other. people and personable and friendly again. and say hi to your neighbors and talk to. people on the subway. And. >> yeah, >> you know, the top comment on this, dude, those employees are probably just happy. to have someone who's actually pleasant. to talk to instead of the usual angry.

customers that they deal with every day. >> True. >> Next comment. You could probably make a. living doing these things for other. people. Please go deal with the car. salesman and insurance agents to find me. the best deal and I can stay home. playing video games. I'd be so down to. pay for someone to like look into. services and things that I need. Find me. a closet organizer. >> Yeah. >> Um, a lot of people just recommend pets. Uh, OP does get a comment here that. says, "It's fascinating how you use.

sales environments as social training. The fact that you feel bad about. employees time speaks volumes about your. kind heart. Do you feel that those. interactions have actually boosted your. confidence when you try to talk to. people outside of a sales setting? And. OP says, "Yes, I feel they've helped me. with my interactions. I still face. difficulty with group and crowd. settings." Someone else does make a. recommendation and they say, "It's truly. great that you're putting yourself out. there, but may suggest you pick up a. hobby that will get you more natural. human interactions. You can take.

painting classes, hockey, run in groups, become more of a political or nonprofit. organization, maybe even volunteer. Volunteering is probably the best idea. It's free, super gratifying, and you get. to talk to people from all walks of. life. >> I love that idea. >> And OP says, "I've never thought about. these. I just have to still work on. getting more comfortable in groups." And. honestly, like there's so many nonprofit. things that are looking for volunteers, whether it's like animal shelters, which. sounds amazing. Yay. playing with dogs.

and cats and stuff, but I just got a. text message from the American Cancer. Society charity shop. They're looking. for volunteers right now. >> Yeah. And it's not necessarily groups. then. >> No, it's almost those same like if you. went and volunteered at something like. an animal shelter, a charity shop, a. thrift shop. It's almost those exact. same customer service interactions. except you're on the other side of it. >> Yeah. >> And that would just be one day a week. So I think OP is going to is going to. find their people soon. There is another.

comment here that says look into toast. masters. Despite these individuals being. shy and socially awkward, the skills. they learned in the club made them much. more confident and outgoing. It honestly. was a life-changing for them and that's. based on the person knowing people in. it. And if you look at toastmasters.org, it is a international club. It says. express yourself. Practice the skills. you need to communicate with confidence. and excellence. It all starts with a fun. club environment where you will learn.

and practice together to grow. individually. Sounds like a good time. >> Yeah, >> sounds like a good time to me. I could Oh, they have public speaking. classes. Maybe I should sign up for. that. [laughter]. But I'm not seeing an update from OP. quite yet. They're pretty active in a. bunch of other subreddits r/eliac. r/confessions, but we do not have an update on this.

yet. It only has 200 up votes right now, so. >> feel like there will be. >> a little under the radar, but I'd love. an update like a year from now where. it's like I I made a friend like. >> it would be so good. >> It'll be quicker. >> It would be so good. That's one thing I. love love love about the live shows is. how many of you come and end up meeting. friends in line, whether it's for the. meet and greet and then we like. literally take pictures together. >> Yeah. >> I um I'm trying to figure out live shows. and you know what that looks like for us.

as we are so busy, but yet want to come. out and see you guys again. So hopefully. early next year we can put something. together. There is potential for a show. in Orange County in November. So, working on that, but maybe a Christmas. show on the East Coast. Let me know. where you would like us to tour as I. send that to my touring gal and she. starts putting things together. Like, let me know in the comments what cities.

you want us to hit this time. >> Cuz we missed a few. You know, we didn't. make it to all on the last go around. I. know someone did ask me to go to. Australia for some festival and I was. like it's just it's it's a feat right. now. It's. >> Antarctica. >> I would love to see a penguin. >> We could do a show for the penguins. >> That'd be sick. >> And we'd just be freezing. >> Yeah, that would be really cool though. I love penguins. I also. >> The wind. >> am I the [ __ ]. >> Yeah, literally. [laughter] I also have.

been seeing your comments too because. when I asked you guys where you listen, so so so many of you were like, "I. listen at work as I test water soil. samples and blah blah blah." And I was. like, "Cool." Someone told me they work. at a zoo or somewhere cleaning or. testing water for the dolphins. And they. were like, "So the dolphins hear you?". And I'm like, "Dolphins hear me talk?". >> No, they they know it, too. Dolphins are. smart. >> Do you think they like my voice or don't. like my voice? I think. >> like how do the dolphins think I I talk?

>> Well, I'm thinking if they're exposed to. that much of you, they're probably. starting to learn English. But if you. went in. >> Well, they'll definitely pronounce words. wrong. >> If you went in there. >> Yeah. >> and just started talking out loud, I'd. bet they they'd come up and check it. out. Like, this is the girl we listen. to. >> Dude, I really want to start another. little thing. And maybe some of you out. there could help me do this. But once a. month, I want to travel somewhere and. like shadow a two hot takes listener on.

the job. That's what I just want to go. to work with you. Just bring your friend. Morgan to work day. That's what I'd. like. It's like dirty jobs but Morgan's. edition. And it doesn't have to be. dirty. Be cool. [laughter] I can sit in. a lab. I'll test soil samples and see. what chemicals are in them. >> I would like that. Let me centrause some. [ __ ] I'm ready. >> I'm ready. So, if you've got a cool job, put that in the comments. I I kind of. want to start making a list of people. and, you know, see if we could make. something happen with this little show. This. >> bomb proof suit tester.

>> Okay. Nope. Not that. Nope. >> Uh, change light bulb on top of one of. those TV towers. >> No. No. I just saw I just watched that. fall movie. No, thank you. >> Base jumper. >> No. Please keep me on the ground. If it. involves animals, even better. Or. science. some like cool science jobs. I'd love to come be a librarian for a. day. Um I'm I'm really down for for. anything on the ground.

>> Okay. Yeah. Mhm. >> Yeah. >> I'm just trying to think of the. possibilities. There's so many. >> There's so many. Yeah. I I could I would. go on a boat, but not through the the. straight that you have to take to. Antarctica. That's really violent. Drake's Passage. I don't want to go on a. boat through that. >> No. >> The infamous story. of that where the boat and the all his. men they all Am I thinking the right. thing? >> I don't know. But it sounds scary. So. >> thought it was Antarctica.

>> I don't know. But I am feeling a lot. better. Thank you all for your well. wishes. I will say I'm even more mad at. AI since the beginning of this episode a. couple days ago because I literally got. a message from Kiana at Smosh sending me. an AI generated ad of this podcast and. it was like two hot takes Kalin's AI. body in the chair and some random ass. girl. >> Yeah, like. >> you got replaced. >> I got [ __ ] I got outed. They didn't.

like my face for the ad. And um it's. it's so eerie and creepy and all of Two. Out Takes is like it's copyright. protected, it's trademark protected like. and it's literally my podcast and. they're pushing just like a shitty. product and I'm just like are you. kidding me? So [ __ ] AI. Love you guys. If you want more content, head over to. Patreon. There's some amazing amazing. episodes from April. Such good stories. and May is going to be just as good. So,

see you over there and thanks for being. here. Until next time. >> Until next time. >> Bye. >> bye. [music].