Mind Your Business Reddit Stories! Ft. Hannah Berner || Two Hot Takes Podcast

You're Wait, can I take my socks off? >> Yeah. Are you going to charge people for. that? >> I'm keeping them underneath. I'm keeping. them under. >> I'm gonna have to blur it as you took. your foot out. >> We'll say like if you pay another $5, the toe comes out. >> Head over to Patreon to [laughter] see. Hannah's feet. >> Oh, that just it was I was getting. overheated. >> I know. >> But I needed No, but I needed it. >> Hard to temperature balance a little bit. in here. >> Yeah, we're good. No, we're. >> we're beyond good. [laughter]. >> We're [ __ ] set today. I don't know if. I've ever had you on for an episode and.

been more like clocked in, ready to go. energy. >> Well, this is like riding a bike for us. We're like, [laughter]. >> I was thinking about that today as I was. getting ready. >> I'm a co-host. >> Literal co-host. >> You're a co-host? >> I said, do you do the pod when I'm not. here? >> I don't think so. >> Have you any posted an episode without. me? >> No, >> I don't think so either. >> No. >> Number one co-host. [laughter]. I was thinking about it though and like. when you first came on you hadn't even.

had a special yet. >> You you were so sad and lonely. You had. no friends. >> Help. [laughter]. >> I didn't know who I was. >> You were shivering. You hadn't eaten. >> I was like a sad cat out in the rain. Like [laughter] where's my home? >> Well, we both were like launching our. podcasts at a similar time and we've. been podcasting for a minute. >> We had like the same PR people. >> Yeah. >> And they connected it. Yeah. Is that how. it happened? >> Yeah. >> And we just hit it off. I met your dad. >> Yeah. >> Family very early on.

>> I know. >> But I just have to say I'm running. around LA. Still lost and scared. actually. [laughter]. >> But I'm promoting my special, but it's. been a long day and I'm I'm like, "Thank. God I'm going to do Morgan's Pod. It's. going to be so easy and fun." And she. has champagne. I open the door and she. has congratulations balloons and I blank. out and I'm like, "Is it my birthday? Is. it your birthday? Whose birthday. [laughter] is it? forgot and then I. realized she's just the sweetest person. in the world congratulating me for my. special. >> and you just live life so well.

>> I'm just so excited for you and like I I. really really appreciate your friendship. and just I can always text you and. you're just might take you a little bit. to respond but you do [laughter] get. there. You do get there. >> I feel like I'm pretty good except. honestly. Oh wait, we actually [ __ ] up. this time cuz we fully scheduled it and. then you know the last text where you're. like and this is the time. Uh-huh. >> If I didn't respond, I mean, I didn't. see it. >> Yeah. >> So, then you were like, "Where are you, babe? >> You're busy right now. You've got your. special coming out on [clears throat].

Hulu this time.". >> But this is my priority. Going on Hot. Takes is literally the pot I will not. miss. No, it's not. We don't [ __ ] around. when it comes to hot takes. >> No, we mean business over here. >> Hence the blazer. >> Yeah. [laughter]. She literally has a full amazing outfit. on and she's confused about it and I'm. like, we're covered in blankets. >> Yeah. No. Oh, and a new cheetah one. So, we're we're really. >> I'm burritoed. >> You look really cute today. >> Thanks. >> You look really cute. >> Thanks. I have like a fading spray tan.

That's why. Oh, cheers. Cheers to women. in the arts. >> And [ __ ]. >> And minding your business. >> And minding your business. Some of these. I might just say, "None of my business.". And move on. But that's No, that's not. allowed on this pod. >> We'll see. >> Everything is about to be my business. >> Even if I don't have a strong opinion, I. will have a strong opinion. >> You will make it your business. [laughter] I will make it my business. >> I cannot wait to see how you do it. Let's dive in. >> I love when we get heated and we. disagree. >> Should we try to make that a challenge. today? >> I feel like we will cuz sometimes.

[laughter] sometimes I'll just be like, you know what? I'm fighting the good. fight on this one. >> I like when you think I'm going to take. a take and then I take a different one. So, us. >> I'm going to clock you today. >> Oh, yeah. I'm scared. I feel it. No, you. and your blazer, you're going to fire me. today. It's my last time on this. podcast, so let's enjoy it. People. [laughter] are going to be like, "I. haven't seen boobs like that before.". Yeah. No, they've never been out. >> Oh, she's like, "Make sure you're on. Spotify watching the video." [laughter].

[music]. This episode of Two Hot Takes is. presented by Credit Karma. You're on. your phone constantly. Shouldn't those. bills count towards your credit with. Credit Spark by Inuit Credit Karma? They. do. Build credit history using payments. like phone bills or utilities. No debt, totally free and missed payments aren't. recorded. Not all lenders use TransUnion.

credit reports or scores impacted by. Credit Spark. But if you're at or below. 660 and looking to build credit history, download Credit Karma today and get the. credit you deserve. Kicking it off with this one. Okay, >> this is coming from our very own Two Hot. Take subreddit, so it's a listener out. there. >> titled, "Am I the [ __ ] for not. telling a girl at the gym about her. butthole hole?". I, 25 female, attend a pretty large 25.

through 30 person hot Pilates class a. couple of times a week. This studio. loves to squeeze in as many people as. they can into the room. So, I always. choose a spot in the back corner, so. only one person in front of me and one. to my right. >> A woman around my age came and set up in. front of me. For context, she was a. curvy girl. I noticed we had the same. body type and was wearing leggings the. same color as her skin. As we started.

the class and went into downward dog, I. noticed she had a hole in her leggings. right at her butthole. >> Like to the point I saw her butt crack. and then whole when she stretched. further. The class was starting to pick. up and the music was extremely loud. So, I didn't tell her. I just figured that. I'd be the only person to witness this. This is where I feel bad. We started. doing sideline work which transitioned.

to her being in the front of the class. as everyone turned to the right. Now. every single person behind her could see. her butthole h whole. I never told her. after class. I told my mom this saying. that I didn't tell her because if it. were me, ignorance is bliss. And I hope. she'd notice when doing her laundry and. think, "Oh, maybe it's small. No one. could see." However, my mom thinks I. should have told her so that she thinks.

maybe only I saw and she could fix slash. throw them away for sure. So, am I the. [ __ ] for not telling the girl in. front of me at Pilates that she had a. butthole hole? Points for asking your. mom before you wrote it into Reddit cuz. that's something I would do. I'd be. like, "Mom, am I a horrible person?". Okay, first off, this is why I wear. granny panties. This is why I'm wearing. full coverage. If anything happens, you're going to see some some old.

Hannes. >> Okay, >> that's the worst case scenario. >> I literally love I think it was like the. Haley Bieber thing you did and you were. wearing granny panties. Was Justin. Bieber laughing at your granny panties? >> Yes, he probably was. >> I think that's what you captioned it. >> I did go through a stage where um there. was no one to like tell me to not wear. granny panties. So, I did it up until I. like had people involved in my. >> not even seamless. Like, you were just. che up. >> Yeah. Chee up. But also, I could I have. a whole thing about it, but like if if.

that's what's offensive to you, that I'm. wearing underwear, that's You can work. on that. No guy has ever been like, "Oh, I liked your ass until I saw that she. was wearing underwear." It's like, >> I wonder if a Granny panty line does a. little something extra for guys. Actually, >> I think that there's somewhere online. where they're looking for those lines. [laughter] and. I mean, I I think also I was tennis. player and I never wore thongs. I. thought thongs were intrusive. >> I'm like, "Okay, that's I can Oh, there.

it is." Yeah. >> Um, also, it's hard to keep everything. in. I don't want to like sneeze and lose. something. >> Why is it like this a tiny little. triangle? Why are they not making those. bigger yet? >> Literally so tiny. There's not even a. range. It's just like you have to have a. Kendall Jenner like. >> flat. You just got to be flat. No lips. Marvel Stone machine. >> Yeah. [gasps] And then I think there's. something with like UTI and bacteria and. rubbing. I don't know. I wear cotton. 100% Hannes. >> I want to see the Hannes words and then.

I feel comfortable. So that's how I. personally have never been in this. situation. However, I've had my rips. I've had my period stains. >> I personally would not have told her. because of all those little things going. on, such as it being loud in the room. What are you gonna do? like cause a. scene and be like, "Everyone stop. You. turn [laughter] the music off." Or what. you're trying to mouth it to her while. we're doing Downward Dog. >> But it is one of those things where like. it's like if you don't tell someone.

there's something in their teeth and. then someone else does, you're kind of a. [ __ ]. >> I know. See, if you noticed before. class, then I would have been like, "Okay, tell her it's before class. she. can go out, maybe have something, maybe. buy a pair of leggings like from the. place cuz I'm thinking of hot plotties. in LA and they sell outfits, they sell. [ __ ] So like she could have done. something. >> Yes. >> But it's also at this point she drove to. this workout class. >> What's she going to do? Especially if. the class already started then.

>> So you're ruining her workout by telling. her. >> Yeah, you could. You easily could. >> I was also thinking like does she not. feel a little breeze, a little air? But. this is hot yoga. There's no air. No, >> you're all suffocating. >> It's so scary in there. Sweat. >> just muggy. >> But also, you. >> crotch smelling. >> yoga, Pilates. It's It's a beautiful. celebration of the body. I feel like. [laughter]. it's the kind of thing that could be. normalized. Like a nude beach. >> I've always wanted to go. >> And also, when everyone's doing Pilates.

in front of you in their yoga pants, you. can basically see their butthole anyway. >> I mean, some of the black leggings are. just like sheer. >> They're sheer. Have you seen the girl? She does like the granny panty cat. underwear test with leggings. >> No, >> she's got a a pair of granny panty. underwear with a big cat on the ass and. she'll squat and do the moves to see if. you can see the cat. And if you can see. the kitty, they don't pass. >> A woman in STEM. >> I know. [sighs and gasps]. >> What would you have done? >> I probably would have. not said anything,

>> which probably is not the right answer, but like that's in all honesty cuz I. think. >> I think you're an [ __ ] for not. telling her. Yeah. >> I think you've found yourself in a. conundrum. >> You did. >> And there's really no easy way. >> But you know what's also so. embarrassing? When you put yourself out. there to do something nice for someone. and then you're you look like an idiot. >> Mhm. >> Like someone like drops something and. you're like, "Excuse me." And they like. can't hear you and you're like, "Excuse. me." And next thing you know, like you.

cause a scene and you're like, "I'm just. trying to be a good Samaritan." That. happens to me actually every time I try. to do something nice. really. >> I just feel like it's never a smooth. interaction. >> H But people are whenever someone does. something for me, like if I drop a glove. or and I'm like, you need to be. protected at all costs. Like you're. going to go to heaven. >> I know. [laughter]. I haven't had any odd interactions. lately. >> I feel like I if I have that would be so. nice just to walk through the world. >> I don't leave the house much. [laughter].

>> Well, every time I do, something. happens. >> Well, you're in New York, too. like. you're subwaying. You like just see more. people naturally every day. >> I do have to say New York it's so. chaotic that like every block there's. something crazy going on to the point. that you get like numb to it. That's why. also if if Yeah. >> Have you seen the guy that likes to lay. in the rug in New York and have people. step on him? It's like his fetish. Have. you stepped on him? >> Have you been there? >> I could have. I'd have to go through my. rolodex, but it's possible. He lays in.

the street rolled up in a rug hoping. people step on him and then he wriggles. He's doing something under there. >> See, that's just a Tuesday. That's just. a Tuesday in New York. Well, however you. need to get by. New Yorkers are like, "If that's his thing, we all have a. thing." We all have a thing. [laughter]. I also sometimes, depending on the. thing, some people will call me out on. something. And sometimes I'm like, I'm. embarrassed now. Like, you should have. just let me realize that on my own. >> I think she'll go home and realize. And.

it's not every day that you wear the. color leggings that it's the color of. your skin. I actually hot take I don't. think those color palettes should exist. in leggings. >> No, >> I have 100% multiple times thought. people in the grocery store walking. >> weren't wearing pants. >> Yeah, just toddler just a big shirt with. [laughter] underwear. >> I'm like, what? No pants at pavilions? What are we doing? Are you okay? >> Like no security. >> and then No, it's it's the leggings. >> Mhm. Mhm. But it looked like she was. Winnie the Pooing. It also sucks.

>> She was top on, bottoms off. >> I wish there were other things we could. wear besides leggings cuz I'm not always. in the mood for a legging. >> I like a skirt. I've really been vibing. with a skirt. >> I love skirts. >> Yeah, nice little breeze, but your legs. don't chafe together. >> It's like the spork of clothing. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> bring back sporks. >> Where have they been? >> I don't know. They I think forks and. knives just have really good marketing. campaigns and spork, they couldn't. afford a PR person. See, I wouldn't even. need a knife if you gave me a spork.

Just one and done. >> Yeah, I feel like that would conserve. something for the environment. >> But you would think. >> You would think. >> Top comment on this one. Laughing my ass. off. I just read this post to my mom. We're sitting in the ER for her GI. bleeding making jokes about butts. And I. saw this post. She got a good laugh out. of it. >> She's like, my mom's like, [laughter] I. like that laugh. The next one. You let this poor woman go. to the front knowing she'd be giving. everyone a son glare. Women need to rely.

on each other to point this kind of. stuff out. You should have told her. right away. >> I think it's a personality type. >> Also, >> like some people live for that stuff to. be like, I'm going to I'm going to say. it. >> I guess what you could have done is. offered to switch with her and put her. in the corner where you were. That would. have been nice cuz then you would have. blocked her from everyone else in the. room. I also in a lot of classes I do. I. love taking dark classes when it needs.

to be dark. >> When it's too bright, I get distracted. I'm suddenly trying to prove myself to. 18 strangers that I could hold a plank. Maybe that's good for the workout, but I. love a dark workout where you can just. bloat and grunt and fart and blame it on. someone else. >> Oh my gosh, I've never farted in a. workout class. >> It happens to the best of us. >> A hot yoga class, it should be illegal. It should be illegal. They're locked in. You're You are actually hot box. >> You're hot boxing it. >> You're actually hot box. >> You're hot boxing it. >> But sometimes, you know, you go in a.

weird angle and you're like, "Oh, >> the release I've been waiting for.". [laughter]. >> That is true. Especially. >> it's impossible to hold it in when. you're like doing the like legs out. >> Yeah. And apparently if you're on your. left side, everything aligns more. So, it's just kind of like an easy tunnel. out. >> Especially if it's, you know, after. work, you've had a big lunch. >> or after coffee, you know, had a big. coffee. >> Oh. as as long as you're not groundhoging, you know? >> That would be that would be bad. [laughter]. Someone else basically is just like this. is not it's like basically a no- win.

situation. I think your ignorance being. bliss and all that is probably more. accurate. >> Would you rather be your butt or your. vag? >> Oh, ass every day. >> Yeah. I feel like ass is kind of like. everyone's got one. >> [laughter]. >> I mean I like I feel like even if I'm. like spreading like I don't know maybe. my butt's big but like it takes a lot to. see the actual. >> I don't know how this was it actually. her [ __ ]. >> It's probably just crack which like. >> if it's crack. >> if it's crack. >> that's honestly like sexy. Good for her.

>> I know crack is back. >> The crack is not whack. >> No, you're seeing a lot of crack on the. carpet. >> There's no way it was her actual. butthole. Let her show some crack. That's literally butt cleavage. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> look at us. >> beage. >> I love how we just rebranded the whole. segment. We were really. >> Show your crack, everyone. It's fine. Plumbers's cracks actually hot. >> Yeah, men are allowed to do it. Why. can't we in yoga class? >> I want to see more crack this year. >> Yeah, >> here we go. This next story is actually.

like a new nightmare for me. It's coming. from Today I [ __ ] Up titled Today I. [ __ ] Up by forgetting my car. autoconnects to Spotify. I genuinely think the most embarrassing. moment of my life happened today. For. context, I'm a 27-year-old female. software engineer, and my co-workers are. men in their 40s and older. So, today, my team was going to lunch and I offered. to drive. Two co-workers got into my. car, and my phone automatically connects. to Spotify. Except it always takes about.

10 to 15 seconds to fully connect, so I. didn't realize or think of it in the. moment. I had something in my trunk I. needed to grab really quick. So, I got. out and in that time, my phone connected. and the last thing I was listening to. was a smutty ass book. [snorts]. [laughter]. And yes, it was on one of those scenes. [laughter]. I got back into the car hearing the main.

character of the audiobook talking about. how there was not enough friction. between her thighs to satisfy her carnal. lust. [laughter]. I'm dead. Deceased because I'm dead. I. of course suddenly can't function. properly. I can't [laughter] function. properly and muted slash unmuted it. three times completely fumbling from my. radio. >> A woman in STEM. She's an [laughter]. engineer.

As I'm doing this, my coworker in the. passenger seat goes, quote, "Oh, what. are we listening to? Acatar?" My. coworker in the back seat, "What's. Acatar? Apparently, you can die twice. That's fun." I then just say, "It's a. book series us girls love." And we left. it at that. Honestly, great joke from my. coworker. Maybe I'll be able to laugh at. it in 10 years or so. Oh my god. Oh, that car ride. >> No, thank you. >> That car ride. But this is one of those. examples in life where like you can't.

take life too seriously. And maybe it's. cuz we're podcasters. Like if that. happened to me, I'd immediately be like, great story for the pod. This is. hilarious. Like lean in. >> Mhm. >> It's like, but if you get mad at. yourself and ashamed, then you're just. in like a shame spiral. So I actually. think like the fact that the guy knew. what Acatar was, >> that's actually he's got a wife that. reads or something. >> Yes. >> He's tapped in. >> Yes. and honestly be like, "Sorry, when. my friend sent me this book, but. honestly, I don't want any like random.

older man I work with to even know that. like I've ever thought about sex.". >> No, I don't come. >> like I've literally just a shell of a. human around you. Leave me alone. Don't. look at me. >> I'm still a virgin. What do you mean? >> Well, it's funny. I'll work There was a. meme about this how it's just like you. with a bunch of people's dads like. asking them about like the Google doc. that they don't know how to work. Oh my. gosh. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> You're like, "Steve, >> I know you have a family, but you have.

to respond to emails.". >> Yeah. That [laughter] was literally like. everyone I worked with at the hospitals. Like I'd be like, "Can I put my Google. presentation on the TV?" And they're. like, "We don't know how to do that.". Like, "What's Google Docs?". >> That's funny cuz I thought she was going. to be like, "I was listening to like I. don't know, like some crazy like. dirty song or something." Yeah, but the. fact that it was actually [laughter]. >> my neck, my back, lick my [ __ ] and my. crack. >> I'd be like, "Sorry, the radio's crazy.".

>> I think I'd be okay with that. I'm going. to be honest. Audiobook, I would have to. crawl under my car and hide. I When I. went to the mechanic the other day, I. was listening to FourthWing on my way. there. >> and I literally had to like force quit. it so it didn't accidentally reconnect. Like, I did not open Spotify the whole. time I was waiting. I was like, I'm. going to make sure it doesn't come back. >> This is why I take Ubers. >> Yeah, cuz then you don't have any. control. You're like safe, marked safe. every chance. Honestly, I I read all of.

the Acatar books last week and number. five was probably the most graphic. descriptions. >> I was blushing sitting alone in my own. home. >> Yeah. >> I was like, "Oh, I don't think I'm. supposed to hear this. This is like too. intimate.". >> Point is, I've never listened to a. smokebook. >> Never. >> Well, I say it's like cigarettes. like I. don't want to try it cuz if I like it, I'm going to have a problem. Like I. >> You actually probably would get really. into it. >> I get really into stuff. I get really. hyperfixated on stuff and I'm like I. have a special to promote. [laughter].

I'm busy. I have emails to answer. I. can't be in a khole of Acatar for 3. weeks. >> I have a family. I have a cat. >> You do have a cat. Your cat's so cute. >> Thank you, Butter. She's like, "Where is. my mommy?" I'm like, "Mommy's. podcasting.". >> Yeah. No, but I think after this when. you need a little mental vacation cuz. again I know how hard I work. I think. you might work a little harder than me. and it's too much. So I think you need. to go park yourself on a beach with a. book and and give it a go.

>> Okay, >> it's time. >> Okay, >> self-care. >> But that is it takes a lot for me to get. embarrassed. I think that's why I've. >> that's like my superpower and that's why. I can do standup comedy cuz I'm like. don't have that fear. But that is that. is a brutal one. Did you teach yourself. that to like not feel embarrassment? Was. that something that you like just had to. get over? >> I think because I come from like a goofy. family. Like my dad would always try to. embarrass me but he was funny. Okay. >> So then I' I'd always like he would.

never embarrass me cuz I'm like my dad's. actually being really funny and everyone. thinks I was funny. I don't know. I. guess it's like my family. And also cuz. embarrassing things happen to me. non-stop. It's like my only survival. Like I'm a tripper. I trip all the time. I spill stuff all the time. I say the. wrong thing all the time. Like if I got. embarrassed, I couldn't be here right. now. >> It was a It was a a a fight orflight. type thing, I think. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> No. >> So So one you almost It's like exposure. therapy. >> I'm going to I'm going to lean into. that. >> It's exposure therapy. And my dad would.

always joke to be like, "How was all. your awkward interactions today?" Like. that's just also I some somehow I. interact with a lot of people where it. seems like it was their first day on. Earth. Like I have a lot of those. >> Those are my favorite. >> They find me. >> Those are my favorite people. >> When I'm on tour, it's my opener will be. like, "H, I've never seen someone have. this many [snorts] like insane. interactions with people.". >> Why don't Why don't you just have like a. little camera following me around? I'd. love to see these. I know you tried the.

reality show Once Upon a Time, but like. I think this sounds more fun. Like just. you tripping, bumping, first time on. Earth interactions. Like I would love to. see those. >> No. And but but I get through it cuz. it's hilarious. Like but if you take it. serious, you start being like, "This is. a little bit sad.". >> Wait, I actually want to manifest this. for you for this to happen. >> Yeah. >> You know how you love doing the worm? >> Yeah. >> Did you see the video of the bridesmaid. that did the worm and her dress ripped. up her ass? >> So, I've done the worm before and my.

dress has like basically gone over my. head, but I'm wearing granny panties, so. the crowd is like goes nuts. >> Mark safe. >> But that was actually brutal. Did they. get louder when that happened? >> Yeah. [laughter]. But then you lean into it. It's like I. always say when you fall, don't then be. like, "Ow." Like do a funny pose. Like. lean into it. Laugh at yourself. That's. the only way to survive in this in this. tough planet. >> I like that. >> Earth. >> I would be getting all my co-workers. like gift cards for audio books for.

secret Santa. >> By the way, speaking of cracks, I did um. Sports Illustrated, which is so random. So random. >> So hot though. >> But it was funny. It got like a lot of. attention to the point that I was like. it was a little too much attention where. I was like, "Oh, are people like really. like, "Oh my god, I can't believe I had. it. I'm like, okay, I'm not like that. ugly.". >> Wait, what? >> Well, people were just like I think they. were so surprised cuz I didn't tell. anyone that I was doing. >> No, I was like, "Holy smokes.". >> They put me in a bikini where like I had.

a vag crack. Do you ever have that? The. top like the top of your vagina was out. Like I had a derm. It was low. And then. there's a a shot where I'm like behind a. door and it's cuz I was like I'm gonna. stay behind the door for this one. >> cuz I don't know what's coming out right. now. >> Did you not get to pick your swimsuits? >> We would like they had a fitting and. they would kind of decide which ones. they like the most and like it looked. hot but it was like one of the teeny. tiny. >> teeny ones.

>> Just a triangle like a landing strip. patch. >> Yeah. Like I shaved but like I shaved. for a bathing suit. not like to see. inside the labia. So, but that was. another thing of like I think cuz I. don't get embarrassed a lot. I was able. to do Sports Illustrated cuz I was like. what are we scared of? A little a little. vag. Can you just like make a course. like sprinkles like you sell sprinkles. Hannah's non- embarrassment sprinkles. like we can dust it on ourselves cuz I.

this sounds incredible. is that what. you're describing is how I feel on a. beta blocker. >> Yes. Yes. I mean, but it's also like I. feel the embarrassment, but I almost. it's kind of like how you could turn. nerves into excitement. When I feel. embarrassed, I turn it into laughter. Like I've done I remember giving a. speech in for my birthday once at a. restaurant in front of like a whole. restaurant and it was a long table of. like 18 people and as I sat down from.

the speech I missed the chair and like. fell and the whole restaurant saw me and. like that's the kind of stuff that. you're like yeah clearly haunts me but. like I I ended up [laughter] laughing so. hard at it and like people are. commenting like is your name Grace? like. stupid [ __ ] and you just like have to. lean in and be like, I'm a silly girl. I'm just a silly, silly, funny girl. >> I'm going to try it. And that's what I. think OP should do, too. I mean, the top. comment, it will be something you laugh. about one day. >> And just tell yourself like that was.

iconic. Like, who else would that happen. to that was iconic? >> I mean, you're the young like cute girl. at work. You just got to embrace that. role, which is being up to date with the. trendy audio books. >> and also like at parties that story is. hilarious. Like that story is going to. murder. >> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. >> Literally, you're going to be so. popular. >> I know. [laughter] OP does respond to. the top comment. I laugh and then I. cringe. It feels like a neverending. cycle right now. Lol. >> Yeah, it's normal. It's human. >> Uh, OP does say, "My co-workers are.

super chill, luckily." I think overall, everyone thought it was a funny moment. I'll update if I got called into HR. >> I was about to say it was illegal. probably. But. >> you think, >> like, imagine if a a man did that. The. girls would be like, "Uh, that was on. purpose.". >> Especially like the guy version of like. it being porn and you walk up to. someone's cubicle and they're just. watching porn. >> Oh my god. I've heard those stories of. men like going into the bathroom and. their phone is connected to whatever and. they're just playing [laughter] porn.

>> No, dude. There's there's like. >> technology gets you. >> Bad bad. >> This is why I don't have a 9 to5. This. is why we we're sitting on these couches. right now. >> Thanks to all of you guys. Thank you. guys. Don't make me ever go back to an. office. I'm so sorry if I annoy you. But. just like just put it on in the. background and mute me. Just like don't. make me go back to an office. >> Well, when I was in office, I was in the. bathroom the whole time. >> Hiding? >> Yeah. I would go to the bathroom so. often. But [laughter] you know what I. hate about corporate America is people. are like counting how many times you go.

to the bathroom during the day. They're. like, "Didn't you just go to the. bathroom?" I'm like, "I'm an adult. I'm. allowed to go to the bathroom when I. want to. >> and fall asleep. >> now. Like, and it's going to be like, oh, you go to HR because you got in. trouble for going to the bathroom too. much and your HR person's AI. >> Oh, scary world. You know what else is a. scary world? This next story. >> Love a segue. This episode is brought to. you by State Farm. We didn't call this. podcast one hot take for a reason. Sometimes you just need a second.

opinion. Someone to help you figure out. if yes, you might actually be wrong. And. honestly, insurance isn't that. different. You want someone in your. corner helping you make the right call. That's where State Farm comes in. With. over 19,000 local agents, they're there. to help you choose the coverage that. fits your life. They've got your back so. you don't have to do it alone. Visit. statefarm.com to learn more. Like a good. neighbor, Statefarm is there. This person is definitely giving first. day on planet Earth.

>> Oh my god. It is titled, "Am I the [ __ ] for. making my daughter-in-law cry when. proving the earth was round?". [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> You like, "Sit with that for a second.". >> Yeah. This is stupid. And I really don't. feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm not. going to hide that I am not a huge fan. of my daughter-in-law. She [snorts] can. be a [ __ ] and we have clashed over. basic things. My two grandkids are at my. place twice a week. I like NASA and I've.

been staying up to date with the Aremis. 2 journey. My two grandkids are five and. seven. They saw me watching and were. confused. That's the best way to put it. They thought it was fake because their. mom told them things in space were fake. I assumed she was talking about movies, space movies, not overall the fact. people went to space being fake. I. decided to show them the moon landing. and some takeoffs. I asked them if they.

wanted to see a double sunset. This is. when you lay down and watch the sun go. down. The moment you don't see it, you. stand up and get somewhere higher and. you will see the sunset again because. the earth is curved. My daughter-in-law. showed up when we were waiting for the. sun to go down. We did the little. experiment and then saw the sunset. twice. The boys had a great time. I made. a comment that this is one way to show.

that the earth is a big ball. My. daughter-in-law had issues with that. She told me I am not telling the truth. and that the earth isn't round. I was. confused and she told me the earth was. flat. I started grilling her why she. thought that and she couldn't give me a. reason. I asked her to explain why the. other planets were round or why we could. see a double sunset. I asked her why. boats disappear in the distance from the.

bottoms up. She got upset and said I was. calling her stupid. I didn't say it out. loud, but this is literally my. definition of stupid, thinking the earth. was flat. She left with the kids and I. got a call from my son saying that his. wife has been crying. The boys keep. asking her space questions and not. believing what she says because I showed. them other videos. He told me I have to. apologize and that I overstepped. I told him I won't apologize because the.

earth is literally round. [laughter] He. said that he knows but I need to. apologize to keep the peace. Am I the. [ __ ]. >> No. It's called science. And you're not. the first person to say the She's the. one that's saying you're stupid for. believing her that the Earth is flat. Sorry, I had one glass of champagne. I'm. like, that's [laughter]. >> I wonder what the stats are on people.

that think it's flat. genuinely. >> Well, people with conspiracy theories, some of them are dumb cuz they are. convinced that cuz they saw a YouTube. video, they are the first people to. realize this and like they without any. research or science, they're able to. come to these conclusions cuz they saw. something on the internet which is we. all know the internet is all real. Everything's real. >> Everything. >> everything's a fact. I I would say like.

yeah, if it's like you like to teach. your kids a certain type of division and. then the grandma comes in and she's. teaching them a different division, it's. confusing them like in in their math. classes. I could understand being like, "Hey, you're overstepping a little. This. is just science, babe. Just science.". >> And you think it's common sense. But. >> I didn't know about the double. >> I was like, "This is not common. knowledge.". >> Double sunset. I was like, "Okay, now I. know. >> I think I'm going to try it today.".

Yeah, that sounds like a party. >> Sounds beautiful. >> Yeah. >> And then that little green light when. the sun hits the horizon at the right. thing and you see the flash of green. >> Mhm. >> Also crazy. >> I if if the mom was some like really. intense scientist who's been doing. research and has some reasons behind her. theories. Let's talk about it. But I. don't I don't think she's a scientist. >> No. So, you shouldn't be telling your. children about science. without evidence. And if the evidence is.

a guy named Doug on YouTube, not. evidence. I I will admit, you know, I'm. kind of into the conspiracy theories a. little bit. Some days I do feel like I. should be wearing a tin hat. Genuinely, break out the aluminum foil and make me. a cute little hat cuz I'm I'm right. there with some of these people. Mhm. >> But the flat, like, haven't you been on. a plane where you kind of see it like. when you're way up? >> Well, also. >> cuz when you look, it does look flat. when we're sitting in this room. So, I. understand how.

>> if [laughter]. >> if you don't totally. >> know things, you could just be like, well, why is everyone saying that? >> I do think like corruption is real. I. think corruption is real. I don't know. what corruption. would be enabled by saying the earth is. flat versus not. >> I know because all the billionaires are. trying to go to space right now. >> Yeah. >> Where you clearly you get up there and. then you see the ball. >> Yeah. >> So. >> there was conspiracies that certain. people never actually went to space like. the celebrities and stuff which look fun.

to gossip about. >> Yeah. >> Telling your children the earth is flat, they're going to get bullied. >> Yeah. 100%. >> Or held back. According to polling, millions of people globally hold flat. earth beliefs. >> That makes sense. >> Two to 10% of adults in the US. >> Where we are as a society, that totally. tracks. >> Yeah, >> that tracks. >> Oh man. Top comment and just quoting OP. You need to apologize to keep the peace.

with my wife. Why should I do that, son? Because you are my dad and you should. care about me. You should care about. your own sons enough to not let their. heads be filled with moronic lies. Not. the [ __ ] I'm sorry. Your son is a. horrible father. They're going for him. They're going for. him. Wow. [sighs]. >> Yeah. Which like I mean, Earth is flat. This could be I don't want to open a can. of worms, but like I just saw something. the other day where people are refusing.

vitamin K for their babies and like it's. like it's not. >> Well, that's the question. And it's. like, if she believes that, what else is. she believing? It's not just letting her. have that. It's giving her like an. opening to just be. >> make sure the kids aren't homeschooled. That's all I have to say. >> Oh my god. >> Just make sure. >> public education at least. >> a book somewhere. >> OP does say she is deep into conspiracy. theories. >> Doesn't specify which ones though. >> I wish we knew. >> Also, that's such a boring one. Like.

that's the one you fight for? That's. literally like. it's been around forever. >> What one would you fight for? >> Oh my god, good question. I'm like. actually so not into conspiracy. theories. Not that I don't support them. Like I like. >> I'm kind of one of those people that I'm. like I'll believe in a psychic. I feel. like that's a conspiracy theory. >> It could be. >> a psychic. >> I believe in psychics. >> Um. >> I believe in energies. I believe in. karma. That's what I I know that I don't. know things. >> You're on the woo train. I'm on the woo.

train a bit. >> I'm on the woo train 100%. >> It's real. >> Like people be like, I don't believe in. that stuff. I'll be the one to be like, well, you know, like since the beginning. of time, there's always been like. witches and stuff and they just believe. even, >> you know, the known is in Italy. They. knew the future. There's been it's been. around the world. >> Would you be down for a ghost tour? >> Yes, but I've never done it and I'm a. little bit of a scaredy-cat, but I. believe in ghosts. >> No, me too. I'm a big believer. Like I. don't do things like I wouldn't go on a.

what is it just like a scary Halloween. like um. >> Oh like a graveyard tour. >> I would maybe would do maybe but like a. a scaredy you run and you scream. >> Oh haunted house. >> Haunted house. That's not my That's not. >> No, I really hate the jump scare. >> Give me a com audio book. So, one of my. friends and like co-host of my true. crime podcast, Kayn, she's got a spooky. woo woo podcast, Heart Starts Pounding, and we've been making plans to do a. ghost tour. And now I'm kind of like, if.

you're down, we can make it a girls. ghost tour and get all the girls. together. And like there's this one. place in Kentucky. It's like an. abandoned TV hospital. And I guess it's. like the most paranormal place in the. United States. [gasps]. But I wonder like how often do they do. tours and the ghosts are like, "Oh my. god, we have to do another showing. [laughter] Like we're tired." Like do. they show up every time? >> I don't know every time, but I've looked. at the reviews and people are definitely. freaked out. >> I've been to New Orleans and there's a.

lot of. >> Oh my gosh. >> stuff, witchy stuff there, but I've I've. never delved into it. >> And I went to Salem. >> Oo. >> Where? Yeah. And there was on my list. psychic stuff there. >> What' they say? >> Um her name was Angel. >> We actually check it out on YouTube. We. recorded it [laughter]. >> and a page try witchcraft, >> didn't she? She actually came up with. some crazy stuff. >> Yeah. Yeah. But she was like harsh. Like. we left and we were like silent. Like. she.

>> called us. She roasted [laughter] us. She was like, "Are you okay?" Um so it. wasn't it was intense. >> Damn. I don't want to pay for someone to. hurt my feelings. >> Well, like she told Paige like all her. kids died of chalera and we were like. [laughter]. >> in her past life. >> Yeah. >> Oh my god. >> Like we left her like [laughter]. >> Thank god for antibiotics. >> What's your conspiracy theory? >> JFK for sure. That's one where I'm like. it definitely was not Lee Harvey Oswald.

>> I think Marilyn was possibly. >> poisoned. >> Poison 100%. I now we're like getting. now suddenly everything's coming to me. >> She literally got picked up and her body. didn't go straight to the morg. Like. it's actually it's so disturbing. >> Mhm. >> She Yeah. No. No. Poisoned. >> What the hell? >> Well, we do get some positive um info. that these kids are not homeschooled. Thank god. >> That's what OP said. No homeschooling. Thank god. Seems like the school was.

telling them one thing and then she. would tell them it's wrong. >> I mean, that's the fight she wants to. fight. If that's the hill you're going. to stand on. >> If that's the flat hill you're gonna. >> I know. What would it look like though? Like if it's just flat forever, does it. drop off at some point and it's actually. a rectangle? Like if you believe the. earth is flat, >> explain it. >> What does it look like? >> Also, what's going on underneath. >> exactly? I would like to know. I kind of. want to do a poll and see if there's. anyone in our audience that thinks it's.

flat. >> and like have them defend themselves. >> Yeah. >> I love a debate. >> Healthy. open my mind. >> I'd be down. Let me know if you think. the earth is flat. Please comment and. let us know. >> But also, it's like the more we talk. about it even it normalizes it. That's. the thing. You got to be like and we're. off. Once you say it a couple times, you're like, is there a flat? [laughter]. I'm like maybe was on to something. >> H. Okay, moving along to this next one. This is also coming from our two hot.

takes subreddit. >> Couple days old now. titled, "My husband. confessed something and I don't know how. to feel.". >> I love the relationship ones. >> Hey everyone, longtime lurker, first. time making an account. The situation is. pretty strange and I don't even really. know how to talk about it, but if I. don't tell someone, I might go crazy. Slightly not safe for work. All right. My 32 female husband, 37 male, recently.

told me that a few weeks before we got. married, he asked his friend Jay, 37. male, about sex. We were both waiting. for marriage and Jay had experience. And. somehow this ended up with my husband. watching Jay masturbate. Obsessed. Obsessed with Jay. >> We got married 11 years ago. And I just found out about this. My.

husband said it sounds worse than it is, but question mark question mark. He. assured me that he didn't touch Jay or. anything. And I do believe him. I don't. think he was keeping this as a secret. from me either. The way he said it, it. was just kind of a cringing at your past. self sort of way. Like quote, "Oh, I. never told you about this embarrassing. thing I did to impress you." type of. story. I didn't really react in the. moment because it didn't quite register. at first what he was saying.

>> There's so many questions. >> and we just moved on. Obviously, it's. strange, right? I can't stop thinking. about it. We're still really close with. Jay and [laughter]. she's like, "Jay sleeps in our bedroom.". And I'm assuming his wife knows as he's. an open book about pretty much. everything to the point I'm honestly a. little surprised Jay never brought it up. to me himself. I don't feel like my husband cheated on. me or at least I don't believe that was.

the intention, but at the same time if. Jay was a woman, maybe my perspective. would be different. Then again, I don't. know. Should I just let it go? It was. one time over a decade ago. And I do. remember telling him that he should ask. Jay for tips. I'm not sure how detailed. I want to get here, but Jay had a toy. that he was using to show him how to do. it, which I mean, hey, our first time. was great. So, silver lining, I guess.

>> Also is a flashlight. >> or like the torso. >> What? [laughter]. Even like a sex doll. >> I'll show you. Tell me how you know. [laughter]. >> I've seen pics. I love my husband and. Jay is a friend of mine that I love too. I don't imagine this is a common. experience, but if anyone has had. something similar, what did you do? >> Some quick questions. >> Okay, >> so when she says a decade ago, this. means she was like tw.

>> Oh god, you're asking me to do math? >> Like so it was right before they got. married, which. >> 11 years ago. 32 now. 21. >> Okay. So she was 21, he was like, you. know, 25 or whatever. And that's when. Jay was also 25. >> Okay, >> look, I support all religions as long as. it doesn't start wars. However, it is a. unique unique thing to wait for until. marriage to have sex. >> So at that point, I don't really judge. the stuff you're doing to prepare cuz.

you already were being um like unique in. your sexual That's freaky. I'm always so. impressed that people can wait. >> That's freaky [ __ ]. >> The self-control and the personal. constitution you have to wait and make. that decision and like commit to. marriage with someone without test. driving. Like I'm genuinely so in awe of. people that have that self-control. >> Well, also the first night's going to be. horrible. Um, you haven't learned about. your body. You don't know what you want.

He doesn't know what he wants. So, it's. just going to take a really long time. My personal beliefs, I don't think. you're farther away from God for having. sex. I think that's a way to control. women. Um, and tell them the only time. you have sex is to have babies. We're saying crazy [ __ ] but that's my. tea. >> I'm with you. >> Um, >> so he's in a unique place where he's. getting married, has all this pressure. on the wedding night to suddenly know. how to please a woman, which is not. possible if you've never done it before. But also, how is.

and this is maybe where that sex toy. comes in, which I'll show you pictures. of the sex toys. I'm so sorry I cannot. put them on the video version because we. will get removed. But how is watching. your friend masturbate going to help you. two have sex? >> That was my second question. >> Like if it seems like Jay just wanted to. have a little fun. [laughter]. >> It's it's giving the first scene in. heated rivalry. >> Yes. Yes. [gasps]. Wait, this is like. >> they literally watch each other jerk off.

in the. >> rivalry. I wonder I mean Jay, not Jay, the husband must have jerked off. sometimes or as a part of their religion. not to jerk off. >> I don't know. >> It has to come out some way or he's a. loaded bullet walking around. >> Dangerous. >> I feel like he must have jerked off. There's no reason for you to have to. watch another man jerk off. >> So, here's what I think happened. I. think he watched his friend masturbate. with one of these toys. >> So, depending on what you purchase,

there are flashlights, but they're. torsos. They look like this. Oh my god. >> Yes. Oh my god. >> Yeah. And it's jelly silicone. >> Wait, I love how like this has never. crossed my desk before. >> What? No, [laughter] I've never seen. this in my life. >> Ever? >> No. >> You knew about a flashlight though. >> Yes, cuz it's a good like punch line in. a bit. Flashlight. That What is that. even called?

>> Realistic silicone doll. >> But you know, it's funny. I'm like, is. it better or worse that they don't have. a head? Cuz at first I was like, that's bad they. don't have a head. Then I'm like, no, it's weird for you to have like a fake. woman. >> But they make those versions, too. >> They do for that if you're into like. >> Yeah. [sighs] Oh god. >> I kind of like it better without the. head. >> And they wonder why these are male. loneliness epidemic. >> I know. >> These men are not lonely. I see what. they're hanging out with. >> Don't do this. >> I mean, yeah, there's bunch of different.

versions. >> I don't. So, I think he was using that. >> Okay. I think it's 100% unnecessary. Like that is not like you just took it. from zero to 100. Like you didn't have. to come to completion and in front of. your man. >> Why couldn't you just like do a couple. air humps and call. >> 100% you could be like, "Hey, you could. go in this position, do this, make some. whatever." Actually, ask a a woman what. she likes. You don't need Jay. Jay is.

having a little too much fun. Also, I. hate to say it. Sometimes when um you're. super religious, you are you are trying. to suppress some other things. That's. what I'm like, it's a little heated. rivalry coded, but I'm like maybe. religion isn't a part of it. I'm going. to see if there's any comments from Op. because otherwise like. >> Yeah. Okay. So, we were both raised very. Christian, so I think Jay wanted to show. him somehow there was a toy involved. >> But also like where do you put that?

That's a big torso. Where do you put. that in your room? [laughter]. >> Closet with a pillowcase over it. I know. someone that has a foot. It's like a. foot flashlight. >> There's a vagina on the foot. >> Yeah. It's like a chopped. It would be cut at. the ankle. >> But then part of [clears throat] me is. like, you know what? Let him have his. little foot thing. Leave the girls. alone. >> Mhm. >> Have your little I don't kink shame. >> Yeah. No, you have fun with that foot. >> You have fun with your foot and no one. gets hurt.

>> It's what? >> It name is Beth. >> Well, it didn't need a name. [laughter]. >> That's unnecessary. Uh, apparently this. came up when they were reminiscing on. earlier stuff in their relationship like. their first date. >> It is crazy cuz he could have gone away. with it. Like it's been 10 years. You. You could have gone to the grave with. that. >> Never would have known. >> and he dropped it. >> Mhm. Which I do appreciate the honesty. I can see where you're coming from, but. I don't think this would be an avenue. he'd go down. We have had conversations. about LGBT plus stuff before and um he's.

never expressed a desire to not be. monogamous. So he's not by or gay according to OP. >> She goes he does go on these weekend. trips with Jay and I don't hear from him. for a while but he claims that they're. just golfing. >> Mhm. [laughter]. >> A lot of people questioned why he didn't. just go on the internet and look at. porn. Um he did know that porn existed. He was against watching or viewing. anything like that at the time.

>> Got it. >> He thought the concept was very, very. bad. >> Yeah. So, seeing a guy do it in person. in front of you is way less graphic. >> Mhm. [laughter]. >> I also have so many questions like, did. Jay trick him into it? Like, was Jay. like, "Hey, can I show you something. real quick?" And next thing you know, he. was like, "Oh my god, his dick's out.". Which, you know, happens to the best of. us. >> I [laughter] know. Or was it like also. it doesn't you don't orgasm immediately. like that means he there were like. minutes involved.

>> Are they talking during it? >> Is there eye contact? Are they holding. hands? >> Oh, not the eye contact. [laughter]. >> Mm-. >> Where is his eyes? >> I have so I have so many questions. Was. he like, "Yeah, it was cringe, but like. we did it." Or was he like, "I hate that. it happened." Or was he like silly old. J? You know, Jay, just Jay being Jay. Also, I want Jay's perspective. Where? I. want Jay to come in. >> So, we do get an update.

Just found it while looking for OP's. comments. I'm really scared. Okay, pretty not safe for work below. No. crazy details. Sorry, Perves. But yeah, I asked him to tell me what happened. with Jay on that day, keeping it. light-hearted, and he did. Originally, Jay was going to show him a video, but. my husband was against it at the time. So, Jay asked if he could show him a. flashlight to point to where the. clitoris was and whatnot, and he said.

yes. Jay got excited while talking about. his own experiences, demonstrated how to. put on a condom, and well, offered to. show him how he does it. I had a few. comments thinking that Jay took. advantage of my husband, but he. definitely doesn't agree or feel that. way. My husband told me he said yes. because he'd never seen someone do it. before and as many of you have figured. was about 10 years too late to the. sexual exploration phase of life. >> He and his siblings were all. homeschooled for some added context.

[laughter]. >> They don't they are flat earthers as. well. >> As was I though that manifested in me. being a little too invested in the. Vampire Diaries more than anything else, lol. From Jay's point of view, I think. he just didn't give a [ __ ] and was open. to a fault, especially back then. Jay. was raised similar to us, but once he. turned 18, he broke from the whole. feeling shameful about normal human. things. So, he did a complete 180. And. yeah, maybe a bit too far or out there. for the average welladjusted person, but.

you know, Alanis Morset, we live, we. learn. Obviously, my husband went into. more detail about what he was thinking. and feeling, but to not make this post. even more of a novel and confusing to. people who don't know all three of our. histories, I tried to keep it to the. basics. Hearing him talk about it in. depth definitely made me feel more. relaxed. I asked him if he was bisexual. and let him know that I'd be okay if he. was, but he said he's not, and it was. more curiosity than anything else. Late. bloomer plus repression plus guilt.

triple combo does crazy things to the. mind. Said afterwards that Jay bursted. out laughing at how awkward it was and. then they left to go eat Taco Bell. So. really not at all what I thought was. going on in my head. If Jay is bisexual, I'm not sure. Probably won't ask him. because if he wanted me to know, he. would have told me already. I mean, it. would have been relevant if he was. single or if I was worried about. infidelity. But I'm not. The gray area. of watching him use a toy on himself. being considered cheating makes sense,

but it was so long ago. I feel like it's. only as big as I make it out to be. With. the conversation we had, I don't think. it rocks the boat all that much. We. deconstructed at different points of. time, which if you have any experience, you will know how huge and terrifying. that is. We're pretty solid. My husband. called Jay to make a point, which he. didn't have to, but he's stubborn. And. when he started talking to him about it, Jay told him that it was quote the. second gayest thing I've ever done. [laughter].

>> Obsessed with Jay. >> Obsessed with Jay. >> And [laughter]. was like trying to teach poetry to a. fish, which resulted in my husband. hanging up and sending him a huge block. of text that consisted entirely of the. middle finger emoji. So yeah. >> So they got in a fight. They're in a. couple's quarrel. >> Him and Jay, [gasps] I'll try to see if. I can attach some photos. >> He was your teacher. Have some respect. [laughter]. >> He helped you learn how to [ __ ].

>> Come on. >> Sorry. Sorry. Jay is an educator of the. youth. >> and how to put on a condom. >> Honestly, the way she told the story, I'm like, look, crazy things happen. behind closed doors. Also, men. like gladiators, they all were like. having sex with each other. There is. like a testosterone where I could. probably see him being like, "Watch. this, bro.". >> I literally just learned this about. Achilles that Achilles had a boyfriend. >> They all were hooking up. >> and he dressed as a woman to like sneak. into whatever camp or something and they.

were like, "You think Achilles was a big. buff guy?" No. Like they said. >> Achilles was sassy. >> They were like, "Achilles was a twink.". >> Wait, I'm obsessed. That's what And I'm. like, where do I get this accurate. history? >> Gender and sexuality was wasn't as. defined at a certain point. >> Yeah. Everybody was. >> just cultural. It's just social. construction. >> How much more like relaxing and. enjoyable does that sound? >> I also do feel like men or guys when. they're younger, like at camp, they.

they're playing with their dicks. Like. they're showing each other their dicks. I feel like I've seen a lot of like. really gay stuff lately coming from. straight guys where like I saw this. video of three baseballers on a pitching. mound in like a triangle humping each. other on the pitching mound. [laughter]. >> Have you seen the gay baseball video? My. my editor Jenna, she's gay and so she's. tapped in. >> Yeah. She knows she has her. >> and she also loves baseball. >> and she loves baseball. She loves gay. things in baseball. So it was perfect. >> Mhm. Any thoughts?

>> I liked it. She [laughter] goes, "I was into it." I. But I'm not like, "Look, I do think a. lot of men are gay, but I'm not saying. that every man's gay. I do think men are. also like men masturbate before girls. do. Like men are talking about. masturbating. They're doing all that. stuff and they're kind of like, "Bro, look what I could do." So, I feel like. maybe Jay, look at not me, not me being. a Jay defender, but Jay kind of just. being like, "Look at this testosterone. Like, watch this. Like, look what I. could do." Honestly, I do see the.

mindset of like, "Buddy, it's your first. time. You're going to have sex on your. wedding. I want it to actually be. enjoyable for you. Like, let me help. you." I actually do kind of see the. teaching a person how to fish mentality. here. >> Yeah. >> I kind of. I kind of appreciate it. >> Also, when you feel bad for your friend. where you're like, "This is so. embarrassing. I'll embarrass myself to. help you be less embarrassed.". >> Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. I think now. >> it's [clears throat] weird because you. tell your friend to watch porn when. they're confused, but like he put the.

foot down with the porn. >> But also, and that's kind of like a hot. topic nowadays where people are like, "Porn is not real. Porn is not healthy.". >> So, some people actually might prefer a. hands-on demo. >> You could have used a banana. >> A small business. He can he can start. >> sex ed classes. [laughter]. There's like a woman making like Tik Tok. videos and she's like, "Okay, I'm going. to be very discreet." But like if you. want to go down on a girl and have it be. good, like you lick that little ice.

cream cone for 5 minutes and then after. 5 minutes, then you put the fingers on. the outside. Don't go in yet. Two, three. fingers just on the outside. You got to. create some uh. >> She doesn't say any of the like word. words. Yeah. >> No. And I'm like, where was this? >> Yeah. >> But it's kind of the same concept. >> Yeah. >> But we're not in a room together. I'm. like, "Sorry that Jay just wanted the. world to be more educated. [laughter]. I want to know how their wedding night. was.". >> She said it was great.

>> Huh? >> She said it was amazing. >> So, silver lining of it all. >> I don't. No one ever lost their virginity and. they were like, "Wow, I've really been. missing out.". >> Mine was horrible. It was on like the. carpet of my friend's basement. No. furniture. It was like a storage room. I. got rug burns. [laughter] There was a. pillow kind of under me. No blankets. Just [ __ ] buck naked in this. basement. >> Buck naked. I haven't said that in. forever. >> If I could go back. >> get bucket buck in here. We're so.

millennial. >> We're so millennial. >> That was a bop. But I'm like, God, if I could take that. back, I would. Getting caught in a car. and having a a car come up behind us and. turn their brights on as we're having. sex in the back seat. I'd take that one. off. M. Mhm. Mhm. See, as a New York. City kid, we didn't have any car issues. No one had cars. >> Where? What? How? How was it for you? More enjoyable than that? >> No. Not [clears throat] good. Not good. >> Subway station bathroom. >> Some [laughter] some CTE football.

player. Not good. >> But also, it's cuz no one knows what. they're doing. >> Yeah. >> So, it's like, you got to figure it out. >> Was the mascot good, Bucky? >> No. >> No. No. No. No. No. >> No. >> I'm not going to lie to the the crowd. >> No. >> But it wasn't it it was like. >> not traumatic. >> No. No. >> Yeah. There you go. There you go. That's. a win. >> Yeah. Well, >> that's a win. >> That's a win. >> I will say I did end up with the best. sex I've had. >> Yeah. >> And like some people are weird. They're.

like, "You're not going to end up with. the best, but it'll be good." I was. like, "No, no, no. I actually ended up. with the best.". >> Me, too. Hey, >> cheers. There's a lot of fallacies out. there. >> I know. >> Someone even said they were like, "People are talking horrible about. marriage out there. Is anything. Okay. Is anyone in a good marriage? And. I'm like, look, negative stuff gets more. attention. >> That is true. >> But there are people who have nice. partners. >> I feel like you have a really good. relationship with your husband. Like. great marriage. >> You're like, cuz I don't see you guys. online. [laughter]. >> Well, no. Like you've done your burner.

phone podcast together. Like you guys. just seem very in tune with each other. and so excited when the other person is. winning. >> Oh my god. Yeah. >> Which isn't the case for a lot of. people. Well, you cannot have your. biggest hater in your housem. >> friend, husband, don't settle. I think. at the end of the day, if we're going to. get anything from this story, don't. settle. >> Don't settle. >> Don't settle. >> And get out. Find a guy like Jay. >> who will guide you.

>> Yeah. >> to better things. >> Exactly. And it's never too late to get. divorced. >> Yep. >> Like, do not marry your biggest hater. >> Life is too short to not get out. Whenever anyone gets divorced or goes. through a breakup, I always say. congratulations. >> Like your balloon. Congratulations. >> Um, this next person is in the midst of. a divorce. >> Perfect. >> Here we go. This is coming from. relationship advice. I, 32 female, think. my husband's 40 male mistress is.

stalking me. We're currently separated after I found. out he's been having an affair with the. same person for years. I found out 5. years ago and we worked things out. He. swore he had ended things with her and I. believed him. We had our last child for. male during that period. Since the year. started, I had been getting messages on. Facebook and Instagram from accounts. with no followers telling me that my. husband was having an affair.

>> Oh god. The DMs had details about the. trips he had taken with her, how they go. on dates, how they have a child. together, and all of his friends, mom, and siblings knew her. I asked him often. if he was still seeing her, and he. denied it. What pushed me over the edge. was when I saw earrings and a scrunchie. that weren't mine in my car after he had. borrowed it for the day. I went through. his phone and saw that he was still in. touch with her. They even had sex tapes.

and he was constantly telling her how. much better sex was with her, how he. loved her and wanted to be with her. It's obvious he's gotten very strong. feelings for her. He admitted to. everything, including the child they. have together. I left the house and went. to my mom's to take a break. We've been. officially separated for a month. The. problem now is that his mistress keeps. showing up to places I go to often. the. playground I take my kids to, the. bookshop where I buy their school.

supplies, where I take the girls to get. their hair done. We went to get ice. cream once, and I could have sworn I saw. her. I know what she looks like from the. pictures and videos that they have. together. I feel like I'm going crazy. These are all public places, though, so. there's nothing I can do about it. She. just sits there and stares at us. It's. making me feel very uneasy. What is the. best way to address the situation? I. can't ask for her to be kicked out of a. public place. She's always with her. daughter anyways. So, it never looks.

weird that a woman is there with her. child and are at the same place I go to. with my kids. I'm not speaking to my. husband unless it's about the kids. And. I don't want to ask him yet. >> Ask him what? >> How to make your mistress stop showing. up at my my ice cream place. I I'm not a. confrontational person, but I feel like. that's when you can go up to her and be. like, "Can I help you? [laughter]. >> You wouldn't mind your business.". >> Like, is there something you need? Like,

are you trying to be friends? Like, what's going on here? >> Cuz cuz she's making you feel. uncomfortable. You can go up to her and. make and call her out. >> I God, this is like my worst nightmare. Well, cuz you know, she's been obsessed. with her for a long time because she's. had what she wanted, which is the. marriage, >> the openness of it. >> Yeah. So, she's been just like looking. at her 24/7, talking about her 24/7. Like, it's an obsession. So, she's like, but I don't know why now she's like. putting herself out in the open. Also,

talk about how to ruin someone's day. >> I can just like feel that that like. stomach drop like seeing someone you. don't want to see or just like, >> oh god. Especially when it sounds. purposeful, like I don't know where they. live, but I'm assuming it's not the. only, you know, street in the town. >> I know. And it's like one time, okay, it's going to happen. Twice, three. times. >> I I think she should confront her and be. like, hey, like I would appreciate you.

not being ever where I am. >> You would have to. I mean, it's it's. absolutely crazy. And you knew about me. I didn't know about you. >> So, you get out of here. Like, you go. mind your business. It's like you're. getting what you wanted. >> Mhm. >> I was blindsided by all of this. >> Get get away from me. >> Yeah. >> Like I I feel like if anyone should if. they are going to the same place, if. anyone has to find a new spot should be. the person who really dropped a grenade. in someone's life. >> Well, it also sounds like the other girl.

has started disappearing. I think she's. got to say something and be like, "Hey, I don't feel comfortable with you here. and I know who you are.". >> I know. and um I really don't want to be. around you. [gasps]. >> A lot of people in the comments are. questioning if it's possible she planted. an air tag in your car. >> Oh Jesus. >> Uhhuh. >> Oh my god. >> I know. Someone says she definitely. planted the earrings and the scrunchie.

on purpose. Like one of them wasn't. enough to make sure you'd find them. Dot. dot dot dot. And I didn't even I totally. forgot about the fact that she's been in. OP's car. Yeah. Which is it feels violating. It. also like it is weird though. It's hard. to be in a public place and be like, "Can you leave?" But it's like she has. to confront her to make her know that. like she does not feel comfortable with. her around. Like. >> you've already violated my life and I'd. really appreciate you like giving me. space and like go spend time with my ex.

Like leave me alone and have fun with. that. >> Take my husband. You got him. >> Yeah. >> He's nasty. I don't want him anymore. and watch out for other scrunchies in. his car cuz the same way you get them is. how you lose them. That's what they say. in the streets. >> Yeah. No, it's definitely going to be. the case. >> But this is like this is I wonder what. if it's like a small town cuz the people. must be whispering. This is like level. 10 drama. >> cuz also that like in New York if like I. see someone I'm like I should not see.

anyone I know whenever I walk out. >> No. >> Or then you are stalking me. There's so. many people there. Um, we do get an. update. >> I love the updates. They're kicking my. feet. >> Thank you all for the advice. I. confronted my husband about it. He said. she's not showing up at the places I go. to. I'm the one going to places she. frequents. My husband used to be the one who took. the kids out on weekends since he's. virtually never home on weekdays. I do.

school pickup and drop off and he does. the fun stuff. All of the places he used. to take the kids to, which I'm doing now. since they're with me, were suggested by. her. [sighs]. That's where she buys the books. The. playground is where she used to take her. nieces and nephews before their daughter. was born. She recommended the salon to. him since my daughters and her have the. same hair texture. He says she used to. go to the salon on Sundays after church,

but only recently switched it to. Saturdays when I take the girls. The ice. cream place is apparently her favorite. So yeah, my dick of a husband had been. taking our kids to his mistress's. favorite spots. My kids already love. going to all of those places, and. finding a salon that caters to our. daughter's hair needs close to us will. be difficult. He didn't show any remorse. telling me about it and reminding me. that it's a public space and she hasn't. committed any crime. I'm just going to.

have to find better alternatives. I hope there's other ice cream spots for. those poor kids. Like, I want ice cream. But it's also it's like, okay, tell me. tell me when she gets her hair did. Tell. me her schedule so that I know not to. stalk her. Thank you. >> Like, make this easier for us. >> Yeah. Why are you not making it easier. on me? >> Also, the kids are related. That's. awkward. >> They're going to I mean, just send them. all together.

>> I'm sure there's discounts. Like, this. is unfortunately her life now going. forward. >> Which again, this is literally my worst. nightmare. >> Yeah. >> I'm like, cheat on me. Sure. But if you. have a kid with someone while you cheat. on me, >> only men could have two families and get. and like it works. >> I know. I wonder if there's any women. out there that actually do because they. got like eggs harvested. >> M. >> You know what I mean? >> Like accidentally. >> Well, that's happening now, too.

>> Yeah. >> I don't know. >> Yeah. It's just he's able to be like. working all day and he has two women. taking care of his separate families. [sighs]. Yo yo yo yo. >> It's not looking good. >> Or. trying to think of solutions. Trying to. be solution based. >> I know what what could she do? It is. giving small town 100%. Saying like. finding another solution close to home. is going to be really difficult. >> I think we maybe there's a mature route. where you go up to her. >> and you're like, "Hey, I feel super.

uncomfortable. The whole thing's been. pretty um gross and weird for me." And I. I feel violated by everything that's. happened. I'm sorry. Going to try to not. run into you. What does your schedule. look like? So we can comfortably not run. into each other. >> I love that. >> in a respectful, nice way. >> As hard as it is to be the bigger. person, I think it will make your life a. lot better by doing that. >> And I always feel like at least. communicating honestly gets you in less.

trouble than trying to like hint and. like go around people. It could just be. like, "Hey, when do you bring your kids. around? Cuz I really would like to um. not be around during that time." I don't. want to see you. You don't want to see. me. So, let's make this as easy as we. can. >> What's wrong? I think the woman does. want to see her. I want you I think she. wants to rub it in her face. >> I If you literally like if I was taking. my kids out to ice cream and my ex. showed up with his affair partner and. their kid and we're playing happy.

golucky house in front of me, like the. kids are going to run up and be like, "Daddy, >> no. The kids just make it so. >> upsetting. I know. She also Morgan's. hilarious. She was like, "We're doing. only light, funny ones today.". >> I know. What did I do? We got to get. back on track. We got to get back on. track. I forgot I had these in the tabs. I totally lied. >> The gossip. I also Who are these people. who are like, "Let's write this one on. Reddit. Reddit will figure this out for.

me.". >> I can see how because there's like been. times in my life where I'm like, it's. too embarrassing to tell or ask a. friend. Mhm. >> I would way rather ask strangers. >> And that's why the subreddit is so good. >> It's so good because it's people who are. too ashamed to say things. >> I know. >> Or their friends are just too in it to. give them like. >> genuine. Yeah. >> Yeah. Unbiased opinions.

>> No. Okay, let's get it back on track. with this next one. >> I'm hoping we get another update from. OP. I could see it happening. real. account 2 years old, but we don't have. anything right now. And OP does say the. kids don't have any devices that would. share location. So, we're going to see. how this one goes. Husband did make a. conscious decision to be with her and. have a child with her. It wasn't an. accident. They actually decided to have. a child together and did it. So, this.

was a very deliberate choice and he. messed up. [sighs and gasps]. But I think OP's going to come out the. other side. >> Yes. >> Happy, healthy, healed. Yes. >> And find someone that's way hotter. Anyways, >> yes. >> Okay. >> Yes. >> Back on track. >> This next story is actually brought to. you by Disney Plus and Hulu. [laughter]. >> Why 2K called We Picked Up? Because. Disney Plus Hulu Throwbacks is back for. the sequel. We've got Hannah Montana,

Camp Rock High School Musical, Lizzie. Magcguire, Aquamarine. All your faves. All your faves. Do you have a vintage. fave? >> Oh my god, I loved um I loved Lizzie. McGuire. and all those weird basketball movies. like Double Team, which is crazy name. >> There were so many good like Disney. original movies. >> Disney originals. >> I love them. Princess Diaries. >> Oh, you know was my number one. What's. the with the cartoon? Kim Possible. [gasps].

>> So good. >> Impossible. >> So good. This next one has to do with. our girl Hannah Montana. >> Oh, hell yeah. Miss Miley, it's coming. from Am I the [ __ ] titled Am I the. [ __ ] for telling my niece the truth. about Hannah Montana. [laughter]. I have an 8-year-old niece, my sister, 28 females kid. I'm 16 female. She. thinks the Muppets are real. I was. babysitting her yesterday and she was. watching Hannah Montana on Disney Plus.

and she thought Hannah and Miley were. different people. I explained that. actually it's the same person. She just. wears a blonde wig. My niece started. crying and when my sister found out, she. went mad. She says, "I ruined my niece's. childhood by telling her this." And she. says that any normal aunt wouldn't tell. her the truth. I think she's wrong, but. I wanted to ask the sub for your. opinions.

Should [laughter]. she have minded her business? >> I think she should have minded her. business, but I also think like it's not. that dramatic. >> Isn't the whole point of Hannah Montana. that she is the same person but putting. on a wig? >> Well, I think it's Hannah Montana is the. same person putting on a wig, but then. Miley Cyrus is a whole different person. I think we're just she has to take it as. like you're not ruining her childhood. It's a learning moment that there's. something called actors and maybe you.

want to be an actor one day and Miley. Cyrus does acting in Hannah Montana. [laughter]. Like there's layers to it. I do think. sometimes it is hard as an aunt, as an. experienced aunt. >> Okay, flex on us. >> You do want to like have fun and make. sure you don't overstep on what the. parents are protecting. >> Oh yeah. No, I don't ever want to ruin. anything. >> The Santa Claus stuff is serious. our. friend in the North Pole. >> It's very very serious.

>> Big deal. >> Very serious. And you do not want to be. that person. But I feel like Hannah. Montana that's childhoods aren't getting. ruined. >> No, >> we're learning about acting. >> That's a good way to put it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz otherwise like what is she confused. about? [laughter]. >> I also was a little too old for Hannah. Montana where I kind of know what it's. about. But. >> that's not true. I'm literally googling. [laughter] how old you are. Wait, some people my age did watch. Hannah Montana. I did it.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you're a millennial. >> Yeah. >> My friend Lauren is in between you and. me and like Hannah Montana was her [ __ ]. >> So there's a girl who's a year younger. than me who was like obsessed with. Hannah Montana and I was like I've never. I've never watched it. I do think it was. It depends. >> Yeah. What were you watching? >> What was that? But like like Camp Rock I. was too young for. I'm too old for and. like. >> that's Lizzie McGuire makes sense. >> Jonas Brothers I was a little too old. for. >> Yeah. No, I same for that. Yeah.

>> I just loved Miley. >> Yeah. Seems so cool. >> And her voice now like I'll see videos. of her singing and I'm like holy. >> all of her rock covers. >> For me, >> here you go again. >> I've been telling you since the last. episode we did. It's time to start. singing. You have opera in your blood. It is. time. >> Don't I cannot I cannot sing. >> Yes, you can.

>> Wait, you can sing? >> No, I can't. >> Yes, you can. >> If I can sing, you can sing. There is no. difference. Ying and Yang. >> Wait, is this from when I said that I. think I could accidentally hit the. wicked note? >> Yeah, and you gave us a little sample. [laughter]. >> That was such a phase I was in. I was. like obsessed with trying to hit the. wicked note. [laughter]. >> If you were going to sing karaoke right. now, what would your song be? Wait, this. is so horrible. My song always used to. be remix to ignition. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> Are there actual lyrics? >> It's the remix to ignition. Hot and.

fresh out the kitchen. [laughter] Mama. rolling the It was very easy to sing. >> Okay, >> now I do not represent or play that. >> Um, I don't know what I do now. >> What would you align with? >> Maybe like I would do like a rap like. Eminem or something. >> Mom spaghetti. Okay, I could see that. I. would do maybe a rap, but my mom sings. jazz. Like my mom is a musician. I I'm a. talker. I don't sing from my diaphragm. And that's they lost me on the. diaphragm. >> I honestly think you and Paige should.

put out a Christmas album. >> If we if we if I could sing, like I. would be so annoying. Like I would be. non-stop. Also, like if I could do. splits, like if I could do the splits, I'd be in a split right now. >> You absolutely can. You just have to. train. You just have to train. >> You haven't seen my hips. Are you going. to show me after this? >> Girl, I can barely touch my toes. It's. genetic. >> No way. >> Yeah, it's genetic. >> You couldn't touch your toes right now? >> No. [laughter].

>> Okay. Um, >> and I'm like trying. >> Do you go to yoga? >> I do yoga. I do Pilates. >> Just haven't. >> It's tight. I have a long torso. I feel. like it like. >> Yeah, >> there's something off. >> anatomically maybe just impossible. [clears throat]. >> If I could do splits, I would be doing. like I would do non-stop like mid-con. conversation drop and do a split like. >> No, I have a friend that can 100% she. does it she does it literally I have. pictures of her at my wedding dropped. down in the splits. >> All I would do is splits and like the.

universe couldn't handle that. >> She also can get her foot over her head. So, we'd be out at the club and we'd be. like standing around the booth like up. on elevated surfaces as girls do and she. would literally just constantly be. sitting there with her like leg held up. against her face with like a cocktail in. her hand. >> If I could, I would too. >> I have respect for Whitney. Whitney, >> shout out Whitney. >> I know. >> with that leg. >> Oh, she worked that leg [laughter]. wrapped around. >> I would love that's actually going to be. a goal for me for 2027. Not this year. Too busy. But I'm going to get my foot.

behind my head. See, that's such a like former dancer. thing to say. Did you dance? >> No. I literally signed up for dance for. a couple months and then when it came to. the recital, I didn't want to perform in. front of people, so I quit. >> Obsessed with you. Now you perform for a. living. >> And the song was that one Sierra song. that everyone danced to. >> All the um the dance team girls were. like, "Oh, two step. I love it.". >> That's the one I did. >> 15year-olds danced that song. I was. like, "You go girls. [laughter] You go.

girls." Oh my god. Top comment on this. one. Not the [ __ ] So, I looked it up. as well and the entire premise is like. that it's a superhero identity. Regular. girl by day, rockstar by night. So, it. would be like telling me that Superman. and Clark Kent is really the same. person, which the movie makes clear. I. think your sister is nuts with the. you've ruined her life whatever. Not. like you said someone else was fake. But. that's all we got. Thank you, Disney.

>> Thank you, Disney. >> Rewind your favorite throwbacks from. Disney Plus and Hulu. All of these and. more now totally streaming. 18 plus. only. Offer valid for eligible. subscribers only. Terms apply. You know. what else is on Hulu? Our girl. >> My special June 5th is out. >> None of my business. None of. >> my business. >> Hot takes. >> Are you so excited? >> I'm so excited. It feels like you like. been painting something for a long time. and you finally can like show. Isn't.

that was a bad metaphor. [laughter] It's. like a project that you've been working. on for so long to finally be like there. it is. >> How many times have you watched it? >> Oh my god. >> Like going through the edits and. >> the edits was really intense because. >> taking a live show to then make it into. like something you watch is not that. it's like a someone filming Broadway and. then being like, "Okay, now make it into. a film." So I was and I'm really into. editing. So, I was like in the editing. room cuz you could things could become. unfunny with the wrong edits.

>> There is so much storytelling in editing. that people don't realize. >> and no one cares about it the way you. care about it. So, like it was like. edited the first round and I'm like we. got to go through this with a fine tooth. comb. >> And you filmed in Toronto, right? >> I filmed in Toronto. >> which like such a fun city. >> So fun. And it was freezing in February, but like so worth it cuz the comedy. crowd in Toronto is incredible. And you. do two shows and then you have to like. edit it together. >> That's crazy. >> And yeah, >> and your fit.

>> Oh my god. I ripped my corset like three. times during it. Worth it. >> Um I saw you post on your story you. going and seeing your billboard. >> Oh yeah. >> And like that fit. >> full size full screen. Crazy. Like what? 60 foot screen and three of you. Well, I. want to show that girls can be funny and. sexy and depressed and bosses. Like so. many things. You don't have to be the. ugly side friend to be funny. >> I appreciate that. >> Yeah, >> the duff. >> Yes, >> that was like.

>> that was crazy marketing. >> That was like I can't believe we were. stuck in the duff phase for so long. >> I remember seeing that and being like. I'm not watching this movie. This is. insane. I can't be a part of this. >> Which is it designated ugly funny. friend? I think it's fat. >> Oh god, that's even worse. >> Or it might not be. I mean, [laughter]. >> wait. >> Does it mean. >> I don't want to know. It's just going to. hurt my feelings. >> It's one of them, but it's basically. being like, "Oh, you have everyone is.

No, >> it's so bad. >> It's just calling someone ugly.". >> I like how we've become more girls. Girls these days. >> Girls. Girls. Yes. >> Yes. Girls. Girls. Yes. >> It just feels so happy and healthy. And. our last one. >> is kind of along that that vibe. >> And it actually reminds me of your your. friend Sierra. >> Oh my god, what's happening? >> What isn't happening right now over in. that world? >> It's insane. >> I also love seeing all these videos.

being like, "Hannah was right. Hannah. was right. Here we are. How many years. later? Hannah was right." And I'm like, "Yes.". >> Oh god. It is funny cuz it's like WWE. where like people thought a certain way. and now they're like turning. So it's it. is look it is kind of funny. >> It's insane cuz I remember when we first. met you were like leaving that behind. you and doing the podcast. >> doing therapy. >> doing [laughter] a lot of therapy and. you.

we don't have to keep this in if you. don't want it. But I remember you just. being like, I got a bad at it. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> I'm just like, "Come here. Come here.". >> But it is crazy how like things come to. light. >> Mhm. >> And for anyone who feels like they feel. misunderstood or things didn't go their. way, keep focusing on you. Don't wish. bad on other people, >> don't try to get revenge. Focus on you. and things. It might take a long time. You got to be patient. >> Hey, you did say you believe in karma.

things will work itself out and I have a. couple more things that need to be. worked out, but for now [laughter]. I got some other stuff I'm working on, but for now it's just do focus on what. you can control and reality TV is. something that I couldn't control. No, it just like really does speak to the. stay in your lane, keep doing you, be a. good person, and like everything good. >> if you are good will come to you because. you have just. >> I mean your career it's just it's.

mind-blowing like it is so amazing to. see how. >> and you work your ass off like nothing. comes easy like you grind. You are. probably one of the hardest workers I. know. >> Thank you. But I also think like having. a um ups and downs in your career like. helps you be humble, helps you lose your. ego, and helps you get a little chip on. your shoulder to be like, >> I actually do want to like get this and. accomplish this. Cuz if you're just at. peace, you're not touring 70 cities. That's not a personal.

>> I was going to ask you how many you did. cuz literally you were doing double. headers a line everywhere in one year. >> Yes. But you know what? Being on tour is. fun because you like aren't really. living life. You get to be in this like. like you almost aren't stressed because. you're just trying to make it to the. next flight. No. And get on stage on. time. >> Canled and there's weather. >> It's constant. Like the cortisol is not. good, but like you're not sitting alone. with your own thoughts. Like you're just. always on the run, but then at some. point you're like, I need to actually. like see my friends, see my family, like.

live my life. and 70 cities and a huge. successful podcast. >> and. married life and friends. Like. >> I love work. You do too. Like this is. what brings us joy. >> I do love it most [laughter] days. Most. days. >> Most days there's ups and downs. Like. the highs are really high. The lows are. really low. >> But it's like it's what I enjoy right. now. But I'm not going to tour forever. Like you can't be like, you know, 75. with my cat. Like tour. >> essentially. Go to Hulu and watch your.

Wulu, watch my special. Message me, tell. me your favorite jokes. I love to hear. what people like connected with. >> the grinding one you've teased. I'm. already just like, >> well, it's so good. >> Girl, should I post the full one first. of the grindy bit or do you feel like. people already like kind of got the. joke? I mean, there's a lot more to the. joke. I feel like I should put the whole. joke first. >> cuz I love that joke so much. >> It is iconic. And just [clears throat]. the way like your your body comedy from. what I've seen of this special is like.

up another level. >> I do think like physically and mentally. I was more comfortable in my skin on. stage. That's just from doing more. comedy. So I was like a little bit of a. Lucier goose. >> Oh my god, I'm so excited. Literally, this episode comes out and your special. drops and I'm I'm going to be sitting. there in my app just refreshing. >> You're [clears throat] the best. And to. have like such a badass like you. supporting me is really warms my heart. Really warms my heart. >> Okay, this last one for us coming from. Am I the [ __ ] titled, "Am I the.

[ __ ] for not changing my outfit for a. friend's birthday dinner because my ex. said his new girlfriend would be. uncomfortable.". I, 24 female, and my ex Ryan, 26, male, broke up about 8 months ago. It was. mutual. No big blowup. We just ran our. course. We have the same friend group, so we both made the effort to stay cool. with each other. And honestly, it's been. fine. After the breakup, I had a few. rough months. Nothing dramatic. I just.

kind of lost myself a little bit. The. last 3 or 4 months, though, I've. genuinely felt better. Eating properly, going to the gym consistently, therapy. every 2 weeks. I'm not trying to make. this about my appearance, but I feel. more confident than I have in years, and. it shows. Our friend Danielle had a. birthday dinner last weekend. Group. reservation at a nice restaurant. About. 12 people. I was excited. I bought a new. dress for it. Nothing crazy, just a nice. fitted dress appropriate for a dinner.

out. 2 days before the dinner, Ryan, my. ex, texted me privately asking if I. could quote, "Dress it down a bit for. the night." I asked what he meant. >> I'll kill him. He said his new. girlfriend Jade would be there and she. had already seen a photo of me from. another recent outing and was feeling. anxious about meeting me and he just. wanted the night to go smoothly. I read. that three times. I told him I bought.

the dress for Danielle's birthday dinner. and I was wearing it. He said he wasn't. trying to fight about it. He was just. asking as a courtesy and that I was. making it into something bigger than it. was. I said, "Asking me to change my. outfit so your girlfriend feels better. about herself is not a small ask." He. left it at that. The dinner was fine. Jade was perfectly pleasant to my face. Nothing weird happened. Ryan was a bit.

off with me the whole night, but we. managed. Now, two of our friends think. that I could have just worn something. else and kept the peace. The others. think that Ryan had absolutely no. business sending that text. Am I the. [ __ ]. >> But they didn't even know what she was. going to wear anyway. She could have. been like, "This is the looser dress. [laughter]. >> Just tone it down. >> This is crazy. This is triggering. I. don't know. I'm about to freak out.

>> Dress it down.". >> There's so many different elements of. it. First of all, there's no way the. girlfriend wanted him to tell her that. >> No. Why are you doing your girlfriend. dirty like that? Like she can say like, "Hey, I'm insecure." Like she's really. pretty. What? That's such a man thing to. be like, "Wear a baggy outfit." Like as. if that's going to make her less pretty. >> Also, if I was going to a dinner that I. knew my ex-boyfriend was going to be at. and my ex texted me saying, "Can you. just look a little. >> gross, >> uglier?" Oh, that would go to my head.

>> Also, that's very controlling behavior. telling a girl who's not even your. girlfriend how she can dress. >> Mind your business. Get literally like, "Hey, you're too hot. >> You're too hot.". >> I mean, I would be like, that would make. my head big. I'd be like, "Okay, clearly. I'm that girl.". >> That's what I'm saying. >> I'm that girl. So, take it as a. compliment. You're that girl, but he's a. damn mess. >> I know. And Jade probably didn't even. want that smoke. >> And Yeah. And Jade did not want to be. part of this. Leave Jade out of it. And. great name. And who are these friends.

being like, "You should have worn. something." What? Like, is he picking. out my wardrobe every morning? >> It's weird. We've been broken up for. eight months now. Almost. >> This reminds me once an ex um told me I. like couldn't go to a comedy club that. he goes to and I was like I'm a. comedian. >> Like you can't tell me. >> Funny. I'm going to be performing there. [laughter]. >> to go there. Like what? So it's like. they're out of the relationship with you. but they're still trying to control you.

And I'm like bro you don't have tabs on. me anymore. >> I'm not accessible to you anymore. There's no way Jade wanted that anyway. >> No. And Jade seems like she's actually. like a cool girl. Like she's already. seen a photo of me from another outing. and was feeling anxious about meeting. me. Wanted it to go smoothly. Jade's not. being like, "Oh my god." Like it doesn't. sound like Jade is talking [ __ ]. >> But I wonder if Jade knows if all the. friends know that he did this. >> I wonder cuz I would be pissed.

>> I would be like, "Why did you do that to. me?". >> Also, there's no way Jade would have. acted normal knowing that he texted her. that. >> That's true. Yeah, >> cuz I would have been more anxious. around that person if my partner did. that to me. It's like you just made me. look so insecure. So, >> I'm also surprised she told him though. Let's get some more Let's get some more. acting in our relationships. Never tell. a man that you're insecure cuz his ex is. pretty. >> I literally only saw a picture of my. husband's ex like a year ago. Like, I.

think we finally got married and I was. like, "What does your ex look like?". >> Yeah. Also, part of me is like, I want. his ex to be hot. >> Yeah. >> Like, I'm like, I want a man who has. taste. >> Thank you. >> I want him to be like, "Yeah, this is. the level of, you know, lady that I like. to be around.". >> Like, he's out kicking his coverage. >> If he's with a a gross ex, I'd be like, "Oh, no. Is that me?" [laughter]. >> Like, what? Yeah. No, I I want you to. like have hot exes. >> I want a a man who's a simile of sexy. women. >> Yes. Yes. Yeah. The title of the.

episode, [laughter]. >> Somalia. >> That's literally some male podcaster is. going to hear that and be like, "That's. a rebrand." [laughter] It's like a new. like dating advice book. Somalier of. sexy women. Don't give them ideas. Hannah, >> I do have a little thing though. I don't. like when a guy's like dated blondes. before me. >> I don't. >> What do you have against us? >> I cuz then I'm like, "Do you even have a. >> Okay, we're done here. kind of a do you.

have a type? Like I want I want the. girls before me to look like me. >> Oh, >> I want them to have sim like similar. hair, similar body type. >> Like, okay, I'm clearly. >> this is what he's into. I know some guys. are more random, but the men that I've. >> like if you put all my men in a lineup, you'd be like, "Yeah, >> it fits. >> All these guys are pretty similar." And. >> I do think, yeah, guys will have. oneoffs, but like the long-term. relationships, even like if his. celebrity crush, for example.

>> Yeah, that actually says a lot about a. dude. >> Says a I actually got really nervous. once asking a guy whose celebrity crush. was. >> this. Okay, for example, like when I was. younger, this guy said his celebrity. crush was JLo. I was happy with that cuz. I was like, I have a fat ass. She is a. fat ass. We're brunettes. [laughter]. We are I think she's a Leo. I'm like, this is great. Like I feel like I could. understand. how he got there. But if it's like a shy. blonde,

>> that's not me. >> That's babe. You're. >> barking up the wrong tree. >> Barking up the wrong tree. Let's not do. this. Like if your ex only dated. brunettes, I mean your boyfriend or. husband only dated brunettes, would that. make you feel a type of way at all? >> No. It's honestly I saw. >> like there's two types of women in the. world. [laughter] He dated his like he. was like literally with his high school. sweetheart until like junior year of. college and then found out she was. cheating on him with a guy that he was. making his music and literally like in. the booth was rapping like I'm [ __ ].

your girl and you don't even know it and. then he like accidentally found like an. iMessage popped up on her computer while. she was on a run. That's how he found. out. So. >> where can I watch that movie? >> I know. Um I saw a picture of her about. a year ago maybe maybe a year and a half. ago now. I don't even know. But um no, it was fine. I'm like fine. And then the. girl he dated right before me, her name. was Morgan. So he went from Morgan to. Morgan. That was a little. >> be saying during sex right now. >> I know. Which one? >> Which Morgan are you thinking? >> One or two? And who's one or two?

>> Well, I'd be too. She came first. Which. chicken or the egg? She was first. >> I also like when I break up with a guy. and then he ends up with a girl who also. looks like me. Then I'm like, he's. literally obsessed with me. [laughter]. >> Okay. I have a girlfriend. >> I'm like, move on, you creep. that I. have a girlfriend that every single girl. this guy has dated after her clones. Like he seeks out women that look like. her. >> I once there was a guy I dated who his. mom came up to me thinking I was his new.

girlfriend cuz I look so similar to his. current girlfriend. >> And I was like, "Oh my god.". >> Nope. >> No. >> But look, he knows what he likes. What. do you think about um the saying that. guys will try to go after people that. look like their moms? >> That one I hate. >> I could see a little bit of Edipus. complex thing happening potentially. I. have a theory though. My one weird. theory of that is I think you go for. people that smell like you. Like a.

pheromone thing. Like I think my husband. smells like my family. >> There's studies on this. >> Yeah. Like I smell him like his his like. just like his forehead. If I smell his. forehead, I'm like it reminds me of. home. >> That's beautiful. >> Yeah, this got so so sweet. >> That's absolutely [laughter] beautiful. No, you are actually you're more. attracted to people that are genetically. similar to you. >> Yeah. So, I don't know exactly looks and. it's funny cuz like I don't. >> I think I like guys who are like. confident or outgoing like my dad, but.

like I I end up I love guys with blue. eyes. There's no man with blue eyes in. my family. M. >> So I That's just um that's just my kink. I'm just You know, some people have. torso dolls. >> I like blue eyes. [laughter]. >> Well, you ended up with the right guy. >> You ended up with the right guy. I. cannot wait to get him on the podcast. He's going to be so fun. >> Oh my god. I know. Next New York trip. >> He actually has a special coming out. soon. So yeah. >> Well, there we go. We got to pay. attention to yours right now. And we'll. give him his time to shine eventually.

>> Rewrite. Rewrite. >> It's fine. >> Mhm. Don't talk about him. [laughter]. Where can people find you? This has been. absolutely. >> Oh my god. So much fun. >> Incredible. >> Everywhere. Um my specials out on Hulu. >> I know. We're going to link it. It'll be. in the description. So easy to find. >> Best. You're the best. And yeah. And. listen to Giggly Squad. >> I know. Before we started, Hannah was like, I. tried to get Paige. >> We almost got Paige on one of these. times. >> Paige is coming to LA tonight.

>> What the [ __ ]. >> Um we'll get it. We'll get her. We'll. get it. >> I'm chattier. >> We'll get more champagne. We'll do it. again. It's all good. But make sure you. watch the special. I'm going to be like. sharing clips that Hannah post like we. we are all going to be like Kiki hahas. together. >> Thank you. >> I wish we could do like a. Are you going to do a live watch party? >> I don't know. I [gasps] still have to. figure out what I'm going to do for the. day. >> We'll chat. >> We'll figure it out. >> We all need to like do maybe a book club. after we watch this. you know, kind of.

like a recap of like how do we feel like. are we laughing? What was your favorite. part? >> Oh, >> yeah. We needed like a uh none of my. business book club after. We're going to. we're going to chat friends or. something. We're going to chat. >> But thank you guys so much for being. here another episode. Check out Hannah, especially the special. And until next. time, guys. Bye. >> [music].