Emotional Whiplash Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes Podcast

We're back. Hello. Back at it again with. the white Vans. I just watched um Angela. on YouTube Jeopardy and it made me. realize that. >> YouTube Jeopardy they do like YouTube. Jeopardy YouTube. >> Oh, is it like by the same company or is. it a. >> Yeah. >> Oh, cool. >> But they have all these YouTubers come. on and so it was Angela, Michelle K, Josh from Mythical Kitchen. >> Oh, wow. >> And it was just so good. and the. answers, the trivia. I'm like, I want to.

now I have another goal. I want to be on. Yeah. Get Morgan on YouTube. Jeopardy. YouTube. YouTube. Jeopardy. Hey, where's. the Jeopardy people? Where are you at? I. would love to do that. Cuz I was like, "Oh my god, I know this. I know this.". And I just little buzzer. I'm like, I. wish I had a buzzer. Have you seen the. floor? No. It came on after the Super. Bowl one year and we were like, "This is. stupid. Let's turn this off." And then. like 20 minutes later, we're still. watching it. We're like, "How did you. not get that?" That's how I felt about. the wall. >> Oh, I didn't see the wall, but I'm sure.

I'd have the same experience. >> So good. There was two people. One was. doing trivia behind the scenes and then. the other one was playing like Plunko. You know, Plunko where you like drop. something at the top and then they were. doing that with balls. >> And see, you would think that you see a. commercial for that and you're like, I'm. too good to watch Plunko. I'm too good. to watch The Wall. >> Yeah. >> But then you then they put it in front. of your face and it's like, wait, Like, I kind of love this. I kind of. want to make it a side quest to start. getting on game shows. >> I would love that. You know, we were. briefly Matt and I were interviewed to.

be on Wipeout Dynamic Duos. >> that you contacted us. >> You two would have crushed. >> Thank you. >> So funny. >> I don't know. I've never really seen. Wipe Out. So when we got the call about. it, we were like, um, maybe. And it was. like I think it was their first season. back when they like came back after. something. >> hiatus. Doesn't like Rob Gronowski host. it or something. No, his wife does and. someone else. John No, not John. Travolta. John Cena maybe.

>> Maybe. But I feel like I don't know if I. could do it because I think you get. concussed like watching these people get. hit by these giant like cotton ball. swabs, right? >> And they're like bouncing and they wear. helmets, but like I don't know how much. that's really doing when you get the. wind knocked out of you into another. foam block. Well, and see, I don't even. think I would do Jeopardy because that. would kind of humiliate me in a. different way. [laughter]. >> So, I don't No, >> I think either is in the cards for me. >> I know. I feel like there are some. really tough questions where I'd sit.

there and I'd be like, "Not a clue." But. I feel like I'd at least get like two. right. >> Yeah. And. >> it just be fun. >> I would love to see And you'd train a. little bit as well. I'm sure if you got. if you got the call. >> some trivia. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But the back at it again with the. white Vans was one of the questions. I. was like, >> "Oh, I see. I said David and then I was. like. >> Daniel. Mhm. But we're back at it again. >> We are. >> We are getting into some chaotic. >> crazy relationship stories.

>> I feel like the bread and butter of this. show essentially. I have to say like you. kind of soft launched a couple of the. titles to me a couple days ago and I've. been like stewing on them. >> Stewing. >> I've been needing to hear what they're. about. So guys, I think it's going to be. a banger. >> It's going to be incredible. And we did. record a Patreon version of this as. well. Stories again. Insane. Unreal. >> I love it when we have like an episode. and then as I'm driving away, I'm. recording a voice memo to people about.

it. I'm like, you won't believe this. The thing that just happened in the. Reddit story that Morgan read me today. >> That's going to be every single one of. these. Yeah. >> So, without further ado, let's dive in. >> [music].

>> I feel [music]. hey. [music]. This episode of Two Hot Takes is. presented by Maurica's. The holidays are. fun, but can we talk about how many. outfits we all need now? So many things. we're dressing up for. Gift exchanges, dinner parties, family gatherings. It's. a lot of outfits to figure out. Well, Maurice's makes it easy. They've got.

versatile styles in sizes 0 to 24, helping you put together outfits for all. your holiday plans. Plus, they offer. free styling at over 800 stores. No. appointment needed. Just go in and. you're going to get help making sure you. find something that looks and feels. amazing. Shop online at maricures.com. and use code THT10 for an extra 10% off. your total purchase. Okay, up first for us here coming from. our friends at Am I the Titled,

"Am I the Asshole?" for refusing to. honor my boyfriend's family's tradition. My boyfriend Eric, 29 male, fake name, and I, 27 female, have been dating for 3. years. For context, I've met his family. and they are friendly. We don't meet. them very often because they live in my. boyfriend's home country. I don't want. to reveal country names either for. privacy reasons, but my boyfriend and I. are of different nationalities and we. both work in my country. The conflict. happened during our last visit last.

weekend. We've been looking up houses to. move into together and engagement rings. While we were having dinner, we. mentioned this to his family as it's a. big step in our relationship for us. We're not engaged yet. His parents and. brothers expressed their happiness for. us. And then out of nowhere, his. youngest sister-in-law asked, quote, "So, is she going to take the test?". I asked, "What test?" In summary,

boyfriend's family has this tradition. where the future mother-in-law tests. future daughters-in-law to see if they. are good enough for her sons. Apparently, his mother and aunts went. through the same test. The test includes. how clean they keep a home, how well. they can cook, their manners, etc. Basically, life skills most people learn. from childhood. I found it ridiculous. because one, if I'm good enough for my. boyfriend, he should be the one deciding.

it. And two, I don't fit in their. targeted category. In his mom's words, you can't be a good stay-at-home wife. and stay-at-home mom if you can't be a. good homemaker. and she wants to make. sure of that. To be clear, his mom and. all three of his brother's wives are. stay-at-home moms. And although I. respect their choice, I'm not quitting. my career and did not, under any. circumstances, make my boyfriend think I. could compromise on that. I hate house. chores, and I would rather buy.

homemaking gadgets and hire staff, no. matter the cost, than have to do the. chores myself. I told my boyfriend's mom. all of this and it caused an argument. that eventually ruined dinner and in. extension our visit. Boyfriend doesn't. care whether I'm a working wife or a. stay-at-home wife, but he thinks I. should have just done the test because. quote, "It's just a test." And it's not. like they would reject me if I failed. it. He thinks it's a fun tradition that. everyone was looking forward to and I.

should have gone along with it anyways. My boyfriend thinks that I'm the. and suggested that I make this post. If. I really am the I'm sure you. guys will let me know I am. So, am I? I. don't know if it really is like a a. silly thing where they wouldn't care if. she didn't pass because the reaction to. her saying she's going to continue her. career leads me to believe it is a. little bit more serious. >> Yeah. And I feel that it's on the.

boyfriend to be speaking up for her and. to be advocating for her. It really. shouldn't be on her to like have to have. the conversation with the mother-in-law. about all this. It should already be. like that's his family and he should be. saying the lifestyle that he's going. forward with to them and not her. Like. she doesn't know them the way that he. does. I'm surprised he didn't warn OP. about this test even being a thing. Cuz. it's like if I knew my family did this. and my mom's and my aunts and all of my.

brother's wives have been doing this, >> I would tell my partner and be like, "Hey, if this ever comes up, just, you. know, it's a joke, right? >> Just go along with it cuz he's expecting. her to do it, so there should be a. warning.". >> Yeah. And he's like, "You should have. done it. You're the Like, you. didn't have to take it so seriously.". It's like, but they do mean it. seriously. like let's get something. straight. Like between me and you, we. can like kiki haha about this and okay, it's a joke. My family's a little. overbearing, >> but your family is taking this serious,

>> right? And I think that you could be. like, "Oh, if it's a joke, just do it.". But I do think that this might be the. first place that she draws the line. about the expectations in their. marriage. And if she kind of. >> gives into this when that just isn't. what it's going to be, then who's to say. that it won't come up again and again. and again? And maybe like nipping it now. is kind of the only chance to do it. before they get married, I guess. >> Absolutely. And that's such a good point. to make, too, because if you find that.

you are setting this boundary of like, I. don't plan on quitting, you know, I'll. do maternity leave and then go back to. work and we'll have child care and this. and that. >> Yeah. If you're finding that his family. has a negative reaction to this. conversation and he doesn't stand by. your side, you definitely don't want to. go any further because right you do get. married, you do have kids, and then. >> you go back to work and his family makes. these comments on the side of like, >> well, exactly, >> your child isn't getting as much love as. they could because you're not a. stay-at-home mom, right? How many.

stories and how many people do you know. in your life that do things a little bit. different and they're constantly. criticized for it from in-laws or. friends and family? Like even in my. family, like a lot of our generation, my. my siblings and like my cousins have. talked about daycare and the older. generation is like daycare. Oh, you. don't want to miss out on that time. And. it's like. >> we can't afford to not have one of us. working. Like that's the reality we live. in. Yeah.

>> Is this the guy you want? >> Right. It's silly and it's a lie to be. like, "Oh, if you just do it now, then. it'll go away and this won't ever come. up again and it'll be a joke and you. pass and it's fine." Like, that's just. not going to happen. And I just it. reminds me of times in my life in. relationships where I've been like, "Oh, if I just like give a little bit on this. sort of unreasonable thing, you know, it's coming from a place that I can.

understand, so I should just sort of. mold to this thing right now and then it. won't be a problem." It always just gets. worse when I've done that. >> Always. >> doing that thing for them because I'm. like, "H well, I get, you know, this has. happened to them before, so I need to. give a little bit on this." And then. once they realize that like they can. trust me or like this thing is fine, then they won't have that expectation. anymore. It never goes that way. If you. give them an inch, they take a mile. >> Give a mouse a cookie, >> he's going to want 20 more.

>> He's going to want a a chocolate mousse. cake. >> Chips aoy better watch out. He's coming. for you. >> Mhm. Yeah. So, I think one of my biggest. questions hearing this too is like. [sighs] how are they testing OP? Yeah. Like are they putting her in a kitchen. or dropping off all the kids? like what. does this really look like? And so we do. have a comment here from OP just giving. additional context on the tradition, >> right? >> More about the history of this. tradition. It's one of those things that. one family member does and it's passed. down for generations like baking a huge.

cake on the anniversary of someone. important in the family. Not everyone in. that country does it, but it's a family. tradition. I don't know if my example. makes sense, but this is how I. understand it. I'm not sure if the. results mean anything. All I know is. that if it's a cooking test, for. example, I'd have to cook a nice meal. for the family and receive their. approval based on how delicious it is. And that's the thing is that under. certain circumstances, this could be a. fun like nice night. like not even not.

the test part though, but like just like. cooking for the family, you know? But. then like with this test context and. like just kind of the vibe of their. expectations. in general, it's too loaded and icky. feeling. OP does go on to say, "And. trust me, they will be convinced I'm. trying to take revenge on them if they. ate my food." So, there's that. But now. that you mentioned it, his mom cooks. like a five-star chef, and so do his. sister-in-laws. the two whose food I've.

tasted. Maybe they passed the test. I don't know. I'll have to ask my. boyfriend. I don't know if her. boyfriend's giving her honest feedback, to be honest. Like, she's like, "Oh, I'll just ask my boyfriend." I don't. even know if it's true when he says, "If. you don't pass it, they'll still accept. you." We We just can't tr He's not. giving her any information until. actually faced with the situation where. he has to. >> No, he doesn't want her cheating. He's. like, "No insider trading. You got to. pass this otherwise you ain't getting a.

rain, >> right? >> Like I think he's he's kind of seemingly. on board with it a little bit. >> I know. And he's kind of Otherwise, I. think he'd be advocating for her more on. the sidelines in this relationship. >> Yeah. Or even in that moment, he easily. could have been like, "Haha, mom." Like, "We'll talk about it later. I haven't. proposed quite yet." Like, he could have. also lightheartedly shut it down or. moved past all of it. Yeah. >> Versus letting it take away from the. weekend. Um, we've got a lot of comments on this. one. The top comment with 54K up votes.

I I don't know if I've seen that high in. quite some time. They quote, "He thinks. it's a fun tradition for women marrying. into the family to be judged on their. skills in traditional old-fashioned. gender conforming roles." Fine, let him. take a test. He can rotate the tires, change the oil, and maybe rework the. transmission on a car, [laughter]. install a new muffler while he's at it, build a desk. Then he can perform a. series of tests of lifting heavy.

objects. How are his plumbing skills? He's going to need to know how to fix a. leaky faucet. Your father and brothers. and males can judge him on his manliness. and decide if he is prepared to be a. proper husband. He might also need to. prove he makes enough money to support. you for when you have to stay home and. perform all those wely duties. What an. obnoxious family, not the. right? Pick print out those bank. statements. Let's have my family take a. look at it. Take turns. Like, is that.

what we're doing? >> You know, I actually there's like a. couple on Love is Blind where. >> I don't I don't know. I'm I kind of like. half pay attention when I'm watching, so. don't yell at me if I'm getting this. wrong, guys. But like [laughter] the guy. is kind of expecting her to do all the. household chores. And then she's like, "But but you don't even want me to quit. my job." And he was like, "Right, true.". So I'm like, it's almost like there's. now a new traditional home where. actually we're both working the same. amount, but you expect the woman to do.

all the household. It's like it's gotten. even worse in some. See, I've seen so. many stories or Tik Toks of people doing. that lately. Mhm. >> I just like I've seen so many Tik Toks. of people posting and I'm like, "You. posted that." And then all of the. comments are like, "Leave us out of it. if you're not going to break up." And. it's just like. >> I know. >> And then they come back in a follow-up. video and defend them. And it's like, >> you just had millions, hundreds of. thousands at the very least, people be. like, "Ew.".

>> Yeah. >> May this love never find me. And then. you come double down and defend them. >> I know. It's tough. Oo, >> I mean it's going to be a rare really. rare case though, I think, where someone. immediately is like, "Oh, yep. I'm going. to dump them now." Like, I don't know. It's tough. >> They know in the back of their head. They're posting it because they know. it's not right. >> But then. >> it takes a lot for the glasses to come. off sometimes. those rosecolored goggles. like feel like they kind of start. slipping down your nose and then you're. just like kind of still peeking over.

them trying to look through them a. little and all of a sudden they're like. fully off and then you're like. >> yeah this is gross. >> Wow. >> I like the way you visualize that. >> Yeah. >> Slipping down. >> Yeah. They might have started on your. forehead. >> like using your sunglasses as a hair. band. >> Totally. >> And they just. >> I need someone to come up with a. headband that feels like sunglasses. Huh? You know what I mean? Have you I. like half the time I'm in the middle of. like my house. I'm on a meeting with.

like my team and I'm like headband. sunglasses. >> and I'm like it looks weird like I'm. inside. >> but it's just I need the headband that. is sunglasses. I know you're. >> saying I actually I like the way. sunglasses make my hair look as well. >> when they push back. >> Yeah, I I actually am fully on board. with that. >> Can someone do it? Can someone please. come up with that where it looks like a. cute headband but feels like sunglasses? Putting it out there. Take my idea. >> It's free. It's free. We just want the.

product. >> Free girl math. Yeah, I give you idea. You send my way. >> So, we do get an update. >> Ooh. Ooh. Okay. How old was this post? >> This post is coming from 3:26 2023. >> Oh my god. Okay. Wow. Little old. And. then when is the update? So the update. is coming two days later. >> Okay. Several things have happened since. my post and I received requests for an. update. So here it is. This will likely.

be my only update. I got a lot of. insight from the votes and comments in. my original post and I would like to. thank you all for that. I showed my. boyfriend the responses and judgment on. the original post. Most of you felt I. was not the and like you would. guess, he was upset by this judgment. He. tried to make his own post but was the. so badly he deleted it in less. than an hour. >> Oh my god. >> Anyways, I talked to my family and told. them about the test. Yesterday they.

called us home for dinner and told him. they would let me take his family's test. if he would let my dad and male cousins. put him through a similar test. He blew. up about how ridiculous it is because. it's a family tradition for his family, but for mine, it's something we came up. with at random. >> Well, not really random, but sort of. like a direct response, but okay. [laughter] This is Mike. >> He ended up saying, "It's okay if I. don't do the test, but my parents and I.

were being childish." He also let slip. mid argument that his youngest. sister-in-law didn't want to do the test. either, but look at her. the perfect. wife. He said a lot of things, but long. story short, he is still supportive of. whatever I want to do with my life after. marriage, but his family will never. think the same way. However, I was. starting to see a pattern, so I asked to. take a break. It was great while it. lasted. It's not a fun or cute update,

but there you go. The following sentence. is strike through stricken. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Stroke stroke through struck struck. through. struck through. >> Struck through. Yeah. >> Is that what you originally said? >> I'm not sure. Let's ignore [laughter]. Let's ignore what I said. Time for me to. binge watch heartbreaking movies with a. giant tub of ice cream. Once again, thank you for the comments and judgment. Okay, happy ending. Yeah, that's a great. ending. Happy ending. It was great while. it lasted. On to bigger and better. things. I hope I hope she stays there.

It's been 2 days. I hope I hope she. continues with that break through. >> Four years old now. I mean, at this. point, so we don't really have. >> Yeah. >> Nothing's been out there since. But. maybe she's out there right now. listening and then we can get another. update that's like, "Ugh, I dumped him.". >> Yeah. >> I didn't want to marry into that family. and now I met my perfect person. >> Yay. >> Yeah. I think even in that update, there. were more red flags about him with just. the way that he was responding to. everything. I think I think he was.

hiding his expectations a little bit and. sort of just saying what she wanted to. hear like saying the sister-in-law is. the perfect wife. So it's like so you. what is it that you think the perfect. wife is? Oh, look at that little slip up. there. It was a slip up. >> It was a slip up. And I think too that's. kind of why I don't think he warned her. or kind of stopped it in the moment. because this could be a tactic of like h. we'll get married and then we'll have. kids and then she'll stay home. Like. she'll change her mind. I can change her. mind.

or there would have been guilt tripping. from him and like oh my family it's just. my family you know their expectations. but meanwhile. >> yeah and that's maybe what he wants. based on that comment look at my. sister-in-law now perfect wife yeah I. mean that's not me though. >> I'm also sure if you're like surrounded. by everyone in your family like the. women catering to you hand and foot part. of you is like damn that sounds nice I'd. like to keep that going Yeah. >> Sick.

>> Right. >> If I never had to cook again. Amazing. >> Yeah. And he's like, "No, I'd hate that. Like, I don't want that. [laughter]. >> Sounds horrible. E, I love cooking.". >> Yeah. >> No, I mean, some people take great pride. in those things. I'm a baker. I love. baking, but I don't find cooking fun. So, it's like it's just not my cup of. tea. I like cooking, but it's I mean, it's like a a joint activity or like a. sometimes you, sometimes them type. thing. It's like or sometimes we order. or sometimes we go. It's just if there's.

one person doing everything. >> that's crazy. >> I agree. Well, you know, not. >> I'm with you. You know what else? >> Nuance nuance. Sorry. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But let us know. I feel like there's there's some stories. out there if this has been you where. like your partner was like totally, oh. yeah, do what you want, but if you. experienced a switch up, let us know. >> Yeah. >> And like cuz I feel like that is. somewhat common. Absolutely. >> You know what's not common? This next. one. At least I don't think so. Again,

maybe if you've experienced this. >> Well, I have a feeling I know which one. we're about to I don't know the story, but I know the title. I think I know. >> My 25 male girlfriend, 21 female, has a. humping problem. [laughter]. >> That's what I was hoping. I can't You. You soft launched this to me. I couldn't. get it out of my mind. Who is this and. what is she doing? >> I know. This is so weird and like I'm. complaining about a dog, but no, this is. about my human girlfriend. She has a.

problem and it's awkward, but I'm going. to try to be mature. It was hot in the. beginning, but now it just bothers me a. lot. She has a humping problem. She. didn't do it as much in front of me. before, but she's gotten comfortable, so. she doesn't hold back now. Basically, she masturbates every night, which is. fine. She just has a high sex drive. Nothing wrong with that, but it's. awkward. Like, I walk into our bedroom. to go to bed and she's there on the. floor humping her pillow. In our living.

room, she likes to sit on the arm of the. couch and hump it while she watches TV. During sex, she lets me her and I. finish and then she will hump my thigh. My guys know after sex that postnut. clarity comes through and honestly, I. don't want a girl humping my. leg. I get turned off by sex and she. doesn't want to do it before I finish. because she says she feels pressured to. finish quickly so I can get off too. I. told her that wasn't the case and I.

don't care about her taking a lot of. time, but she doesn't want to do it. until I finish. I've woken up in the. morning and she's humping my face as a. joke to wake me up. I don't know if it's. a joke to her, honestly. It sounds like. it's [laughter] pretty real for her. Pretty serious. I think the biggest part. is the sex thing. We can't have normal. sex. She likes oral, but she needs it. for like an hour before she can finish. from it. And she says grinding is quick, so she prefers it. I don't even mind. I.

will go down on her for hours if she. wants. It's just kind of annoying. It's. like sex or masturbating. There's no. difference for her. She's basically. doing the same thing. And she's not even. up for experimenting. She was humping me. once and I held her so she'd stop. And I. tried to just be playful and she got mad. at me and said she lost her orgasm and. that I was an I don't know. She's not even up for something. different. What do I do? I really don't know what to say about. this. If roles were reversed, people.

would be like, he is unwell and he needs. help and borderline like can you imagine. like your partner waking you up by. humping your face? If. >> I don't even think you like it needs to. even be a if rolls reverse thing. I'm. sure the comments are saying that about. you. >> No, but like just imagine like I think. it's like my head kind of goes there. because looking at some of the comments, >> a lot of the comments blame him for this. problem. >> You're not satisfying her.

>> all along those lines. And we'll get. into some of them, but like yeah, >> I'm just I'm mind blown that people on. Reddit would even go that direction. Yeah, it's I think it's because also. it's coming across. humorous in a way. It's like she just. won't stop humping. And also like. compares it to like I'm not talking. about a dog. I'm talking about my. girlfriend. So it's kind of like like. kind of funny in your mind. Like I walk. into the room and she's on the ground. humping a pillow.

>> I know you. >> Which is technically f like someone. masturbating every day I think is fine. I think he doesn't like the way she's. doing it, but then when he talks about. like randomly on the couch and stuff, I'm like, is it constantly throughout. the day? >> It feels like it's a constant. >> Yeah. I don't know. There's not like. necessarily an improper place to. masturbate in your own home as long as. people aren't there and you're, you. know, in a, I don't know, safe. consenting environment. >> Mhm. But I'm like envisioning him just.

like trying to watch like a football. game on like Monday night or whatever. and then she just comes up and starts. humping the couch. It's It's almost like. desensitizing him and also just I don't. know. It feels like there's kind of a. time and a place your bedroom humping a. pillow. Okay. Why did you have to put. the pillow on the floor? Why couldn't. you have the pillow on the bed and still. hump the pillow on the bed? I don't. know. I keep thinking of like someone. doing the worm when I picture it and. that's it's really with me. But.

I'm [laughter] just like I I don't know. He hasn't did he mention in the post. like have they talked about it or has he. just like kind of playfully tried to get. her to stop? There's no mention that. he's ever really addressed it. I think. that this is yeah like a thing where. there needs to be a serious conversation. of like, hey, I'm not sexually into. humping. Um, if this is something you need to get. off, maybe we're not meant to be. Like, I don't like the humping. Maybe find a. real humper that is a humper like you.

Someone else who loves humping. I guess. >> I think there is someone out there. >> I'm sure there's a guy out there who. would want to hump the way she humps. >> I I think so. >> I was thrown off too about him just. saying like she lets me her. I was. just like, that's a weird way of putting. it. >> I think I think that's coming from him. being like she doesn't enjoy any sex. Like the humping is literally the only. thing that gets her off. >> Right. >> Basically. >> So she'll like let let me have sex with. her too, but that's not something that. she's liking. >> Yeah.

>> Mhm. [clears throat]. >> More of it's to appease me. >> Mhm. >> Which doesn't necessarily feel fun. >> And he kind of gets into that and then. >> Well, it sounds like neither of them. likes what the other likes. >> I feel like they're just really. incompatible. >> Yeah. Like sexually. and maybe more. There's a comment here. If you lay on your back and she. straddles you, lay your dick on your. belly, she opens her labia and can hump. your dick. It's really great sensation. for both of you. >> Like people are really like sex. therapisting their way out of this and. it's just like.

>> But is that is that the issue here? >> No, they do. It's I mean I think she's. got a very unique kink which we've had. before and we've had the other person. not be into it and I mean yeah I guess I. don't know. we don't really have like. indication from him about like how much. he wants to make this relationship work. And so I think if he were like I really. love her, I just can't like get turned. on from what turns her on. Then maybe. the sex advice comes into play in a.

positive way of like this is maybe how. you both could enjoy this thing and. maybe that could be helpful. >> Well, and I think people are really. trying to understand this too. People. are like, you know, women, girls will. typically do what was able to help them. achieve their first orgasm. Like, they'll just continue to replicate that. because that's what they know works. because it can be so hard. >> Then people are like, "Your girlfriend. is a compulsive masturbator." And then. there's a response that's basically. like, "Completely agree. I had a former. partner that masturbated frequently and.

watched a lot of porn. This ruined and. ended our sex life and relationship.". Then you have people that are. recommending, you know, again, more sex. advice, sex toys, all sorts of things. I. mean, it's it's like it is hard. Yeah. >> Across the board here. >> I Yeah, it's hard to get like a total. feel for how he's feeling like it like. >> because of the way in which he wrote it. Yeah. >> It's more of just like my girlfriend. does this thing that I don't find hot. and it and so and what do I do about.

that, you know? And I'm like, what do. you want though? Like, what do you want. out of this post? Like, do you want. advice to make it work or do you want to. know if you're an for not liking. it? Like, >> not the definitely. You're not. like I mean, he's coming to relationship. advice and I I don't think you're. overreacting because kind of like I. said, like I feel like getting woken up. in the morning by someone humping your. face, like that does feel like assault. Like to me, I'm that feels like a. >> Yeah. there's not a prior conversation. about being okay with that then. >> Yes.

>> Yeah. I'm like that just feels kind of. crazy. Um and again people are like. maybe get her a toy and that will curb. the morning face hump sessions and they. go on. If the post come clarity says. she's got to go then got to go. She's horny my G. That's it. Get that. girl a vibrator stat. I don't see the. problem here honestly. Everyone has. their kink their legs. Let her have. hers. Really? Is it that bad? Come on, bro. >> Yeah. I don't know. I've been in.

relationships where the morning thing is. already a preconented thing that we've. talked about, you know? >> Totally fine. So, again, I'm like, I. need more information from OP [laughter]. about. >> this seems like how uncomfortable are. you? Because if this is like something. you've told her you're uncomfortable. with, then this is actually really bad. >> This is horrible and you you got to go. >> Yeah. If this is just something that. you've like privately just not found. hot, I think that's like a different. story. And I don't know which story this. is. >> Yeah, we do have quite a bit of comments. from OP. I'm going to get into the one.

that's technically the best comment. right now. And it only has 969 up votes. I'll take my down votes, but what the. hell? If a woman posted that her. boyfriend wouldn't stop humping her. stuff or even humping her face when. she's sleeping and getting off all over. the house, people would be calling for. his head. People are asking what you are. doing wrong and telling you to give her. more. Get her toys. address her needs. All caps. His needs aren't being met. either. At this point, he doesn't feel.

valued during sex. He feels like her sex. toy. So many times I've seen this posted. by women and the men get crucified for. their masturbation habits, especially if. it affects the couple's sex life. They. call for him to not watch porn, not. masturbate, so his sensation comes back. Some people even say to leave. But here, it's all gravy. No, he already feels. used. He feels a disconnect because she. essentially is just using him to get. off. Not actively enjoying the actual. love making. She's not willing to meet.

his needs. She's not willing to. compromise. She's not willing to stop. doing something that makes her loved one. uncomfortable. What I see isn't just that she humps. everything in sight. What I see is her. masturbation habits are ruining his sex. life and his overall drive to engage. her. That's a quick slope to the end of. the relationship. I'd be really creeped. out if I came home and kept finding my. husband going to town on our shared. couch or pillows just wherever. he wants. Especially if I've asked him. to stop. My dude, have a serious serious.

talk about this, about the intimacy, about the disconnect, the way you feel, and what you're thinking. Consider how. far you can really go with someone that. doesn't meet your needs, doesn't care to. meet your needs, and absolutely has no. interest in trying something new. together. Again, what what is difficult. about this story and maybe I missed it. was like him saying he's asked her to. stop. >> Let's get into some of his comments and. see if there's any more context because. obviously the initial post, you know,

>> someone says, "I never comment on these. things, but honestly, why is no one like. what the about her humping things. while doing normal activities like. watching TV? I don't just masturbate. while doing the dishes." This is so. weird. Her not being even a little. secretive about masturbating is also. super weird. And OP responds, "Okay, not. vigorously humping for something." More. like she will sit on the armchair. casually and rub a little like she's.

trying to be discreet, but come on. Obviously, I'm noticing her grinding on. the couch right next to me. Okay, I think we're we were imagining. the humping a little more comically, but. still. >> No, but that almost makes it feel. even more off and like this is kind of. more of a compulsive thing. Yeah. >> Because it's like you're trying to be. secretive, but like. >> you're masturbating while we're just. trying to watch Love Island. >> Yeah. >> The same OP that asked the question. responds back. Honestly, this might be. downvoted, but my thought is that she.

has an addiction and it isn't going to. go away if she doesn't want it to. If. you can't go 24 hours without an orgasm, there's an issue. Clearly, it's bleeding. into her romantic life. Just my take. OP. does have a comment here. It's only in. front of me. So, she's not trying to. expose other people to this. She's not. doing it subtly at dinner or, you know, what have you. But OP does say, "I'm. going to talk to her about this.". >> Mhm. There's another comment here. Does. she have your consent to wake you up by. humping you? OP responds, "Yes, this is.

not that kind of post, lol. It'd just be. a bit more endearing if she didn't. already hump everything. LOL." Okay. I. think that that helps clarify the tone a. little bit more because we're kind of. like teetering on the edge here of like. non-consensual versus consent. Like is. this just a thing he doesn't find hot. and is annoying? >> That should have been in the post. though. >> I think so too. >> because a lot of people are then like. this is sexual abuse. Like some people. are. >> they're taking it. >> as he said it like I'm not liking this.

She's waking me up by humping my face. It's like. >> but okay you you just said you have. consented. And I think that that's the. thing about the initial post that you. get the feeling of like this is kind of. lighthearted, but then when you think. about it, when you try to fill in the. gaps of a pose, sometimes you're like, is this actually a little bit darker? Is. this actually like something like a. little bit scary and like not okay? And. so I think that, you know, yeah, that. clarification should have been kind of. immediate of like, yeah, I'm fine with.

this. It's just not as endearing because. she humps everything and I wish she was. just dumping me. >> 100%. that should have been body of the. post. Like I I think it's really hard. with Reddit sometimes where you only get. clarification in the comments. It's like. no no like that is. >> that is a make or break. >> That's why my initial response to that. is like yeah in relationships that's. been something we've talked about and. was okay. So that's why like I'd like to. know whether that's something that's. okay with them too because. >> that's so hot for so many people. So. it's like even in his own words here.

like I would kind of like it if she. wasn't humping everything else. So yeah. this a little bit but again I think have. a conversation maybe she thinks you find. it hot. >> last comment he responds to which is. seven years ago is someone basically. being like. >> oh this is an old post. >> Uhhuh. Basically like what would she. think if you masturbated around her all. the time. Yeah. and OP was like she'd. find it hot, >> right? Like she'd be into it. But that's.

where we leave it. I think that maybe. the sex advice actually is helpful then. cuz [laughter]. >> there was some remember that comment. about like if you do it this way, she'll. like it and you might like it too. Maybe. that is what they need to hear. Or maybe. she does have a sex addiction. I don't. know. I know a lot of people who. masturbate every day to be honest. >> Yeah. Not that I'm like having active. conversations with everybody, but just. you know, things come up. >> I go through phases like I go through. phases, especially like depending on.

what time of my cycle where I'm like, I'm so stressed out. I'm just going to. take a little me time. >> and a little mid midday break. >> And I've gone through both. I sometimes. you you go weeks or month and then but. then sometimes it's every day. I don't. know. Who knows? It depends on. >> hormones, whatever's going on. >> Whatever's going on. But yeah, they. definitely need to have a conversation. And I'm glad that OP like came into this. asking questions and asking for advice. and like maybe there is a way they can.

make this work or maybe they're sexually. uncompatible. It's kind of hard. He even. said like if it was reversed and I was. masturbating in front of her all the. time, she'd like that. >> Yeah. >> So maybe there is a way they can bring. these things together. >> Step one, >> I don't know. >> Conversation. Getting to the root of. this. seeing if she is willing to. explore because she is young, too. She's. 21. >> I literally don't think I had like an. orgasm until I was like 22. >> Mhm. Maybe she recently discovered. orgasms and she's like, "Holy this.

rocks." Like, >> but maybe it'll pass. >> No, that's why I'm like I I literally. have a friend who's now like 20, late. 20s and still hasn't had an orgasm. Yeah, I think it's really hard and you. have to discover things and like how to. make your body work and tick. And so. maybe if she doesn't have any toys, maybe that is a good solution. And it's. like, can we find other measures that. make sex more enjoyable for both of us, >> right? That. >> at the same time, like incorporated with. each other. >> because maybe she's embarrassed. Maybe.

she's like feeling like, oh, I don't. want to involve a toy and like I don't. want to, you know, make myself look less. than because I can't orgasm. And like. honestly having someone go down on you. for an hour like that isn't really a. great solution. Maybe there needs to be. more foreplay to get to that point and. then you go down on her for 15 20. minutes. >> because like I think when you're that. young too having someone go down on you. feels really vulnerable like you're at. least for me like I was super. self-conscious in that. Well, and we.

kind of she kind of says that too. She. kind of does say I'd rather do it after. cuz I'm self-conscious about how long. it'll take if you haven't gotten off. yet. Yeah, I think there could be. potential here for them to get through. this humping problem. >> Would I personally like it if my partner. was humping things often? Would I find. it hot? No. But do I think that if it. just comes down to liking the sensation. of grinding that we could find a way to. get past it? Probably. >> I don't even find like like him being. like, "Yeah, she humps my leg during.

sex." I don't even find that that odd. >> No. >> Like No, that's pretty that's pretty. minimal, I would say. Like everyone. loves a little friction now and again. >> Yeah. >> So it's just like it's how much I think. the frequency is now like. >> you're taking the the joy out of it by. you know you know when you get a little. too much candy and then all of a sudden. you're like I don't really want candy. anymore. >> I don't know. This one has been a. whirlwind of. >> a whirlwind. This has been a ride. >> This could go so many different. directions. But that's the thing is when. there's OP's initial post doesn't.

mention we've had a conversation about. this. doesn't mention it makes me feel. bad. Doesn't it's I got scared and I'm. like this is bad you guys. This is like. really bad. But now we're. >> But now he's like lol. It's fine. I just. at least the way we're reading this. At. least the way we are now reading this. and there's no mention now as we get. here that there's anything other. anything other bad stuff going on. I. wish this one had an update. I know. Damn, that's so interesting. I I. actually really like stories where it.

ends up being just this kind of odd. random discrepancy between the two of. them that's actually potentially. solvable. >> Yeah. God, I have two stories where I. could really take you on another ride. >> This was like such this these are. actually a lot of stories that are like. emotional rides where you don't know how. you're going to feel by the end of it. There's a title in that. Yeah, there's a. title for today's theme in that because. I didn't really have one yet. Emotal.

roller coaster. It literally is. It's. like an emotional roller coaster or like. whiplash where you're like, "Oo, this is. bad." And. >> is it that bad? And. >> whiplash is a good one. >> Emotional whiplash. >> Mhm. >> Woo. There you go. We We discovered this. together. And I'm so curious about. people's opinions on this one and like. what their comments are going to be. because I think because there are so. many different ways you can take this. story. People who have different. experiences are going to have different. feelings about it. >> Absolutely. And it is clear that the the. overall vibe of the post definitely.

changed over time too where. >> I think this happens a lot on Reddit. post goes up, the initial comments are. like. >> kind of crazy and maybe not the best. advice and then the more genuine. >> take sane comments come in and so when. you see the top ones it's like wait no. what the hell like how are you guys all. being funny about this but then OP is. then commenting adding more context yeah. so it really this one was a ride yeah. this one was an absolute ride and I. think if you're going to post on Reddit.

just please include. the context we need in the body of the. post. >> I know. >> Don't make us search the comments to. >> I feel like my number one question in a. lot of them is have they had a. conversation about this yet? >> Include it. >> That that I'm all like that all the time. is left out of the initial post and it. matters so much toward what kind of. advice or like how I would feel about. each party would be is like have you. tried talking yet? >> Just combo, just a little combo. [laughter]. Communicate. Communicate. Or if you. haven't, let us know. Like step one.

Yeah. chat. This episode is brought to. you by State Farm. You know that one. friend, the person you message when you. need advice on your unhinged boss, intense mother-in-law, or just what to. order for dinner? Well, like that. friend, State Farm is here to support. you. With a State Farm agent, you know. someone is there to help protect what's. important. And with so many coverage. options, it's nice to have help finding. what fits for you. Go online at. statefarm.com or use the easily. accessible app to get help from one of.

their local agents. Like a good. neighbor, State Farm is there. Coming. from our very own Twatake subreddit. titled, "Am I the asshole?" for refusing. my partner's ex's request for low to no. physical contact at family gatherings. >> Oh my god, I'm on the edge of my seat. My partner, 31 male, and his ex, 32. female, have been separated for almost 2.

years. He had already filed for divorce. before he and I, 27 female, met. My. partner and I have now been together for. over a year. There is still a painful. history surrounding the end of their. marriage and the beginning of our. relationship, which she associates with. betrayal. They also share children, and. she remains very close with his family. About 4 months ago, we started attending. gatherings at his parents house where. his ex is also present. Recently, she.

messaged both of us saying that our PDA. at these gatherings makes her feel. disrespected, angry, and emotionally. disregulated. She said seeing us. together reminds her of the betrayal and. disrespect she experienced during the. last two years. She asked us to keep the. family space quote neutral and cordial. I was confused because I already made a. conscious effort to limit physical. contact with my partner around her. Our. affection has mainly consisted of.

sitting beside each other, casual. touching, hugs, and on one incident of. my sitting on the side of his leg. We. are not doing anything sexual or making. out in front of everyone. When I asked. her to clarify, she said she wanted low. to no physical contact around her. She. said things like legs or back rubs were. manageable, but she did not want to see. us sitting in each other's laps or. wrapped in each other's arms. I took.

some time to think about it and. ultimately told her I couldn't agree to. low or no physical contact. These. gatherings are also uncomfortable and. anxietyinducing for me. I am still. becoming a part of a family environment. that feels new and my partner is the. person I feel safest with. Small amounts. of physical contact with him help ground. me. I told her I would continue keeping. our affection appropriate for a family. setting and would be mindful about.

things like sitting in his lap or being. wrapped around him for an extended. period. However, I wasn't willing to. stop normal nonsexual affection like. sitting together, casual touching, or. brief hugs. She replied, quote, "I. simply asked for consideration. I too am. tired of being uncomfortable so others. can experience ease and comfort. If this. continues to be an issue, I will remove. myself from family gatherings until I.

choose to be around again." End quote. I. understand that seeing us together may. still be painful for her. And I don't. want to intentionally make her. uncomfortable. At the same time, they've. been separated for almost 2 years. We've. been together for over a year, and she. chooses to attend these gatherings. knowing we will be there as a couple. She's not asking any other couples to. limit their physical contact. I already. feel hyper aware of everything I do. around her because I worry that. something small will upset her. I feel.

like I offered a reasonable compromise. No excessive PDA, but I will not act. disconnected from my partner simply. because she is present. If she isn't. ready to see us interact normally, I. think stepping away from some gatherings. may be healthier than expecting us to. avoid normal physical contact. Am I the. for refusing her request? I. definitely don't think OP's an. I do have empathy for both of them, though. I think this is kind of like a.

hard situation for both parties. like I. don't know kind of just saying like it's. been 2 years as if like she should be. totally fine and not still emotional. I. think I don't think that's necessarily. true. Like I think 2 years is still. pretty recent for a divorce. And also. it's like at the same time I get what OP. is saying about wanting to like be able. to feel connected to her partner and. like I don't think she should have to. stop that either, but it would be hard. for the other person too. I don't know.

I think it it seems kind of crappy for. both of them. >> I know. And it is really interesting. because like. do they have kids? >> I think so. >> Yeah. They share children. >> That's why. >> Yeah. So they have the kids, they share. She remains very close with his family. and it's like that is such an ideal. setting to be able to still do holidays. with. >> both your parents there. Like that's. great for these kids. And so I'm like. you're coming in, you've been together. for a year. Just a year.

>> Yeah. you're not married, why not just. make it a little more easy? And I think. like her even saying like back rubs are. okay and leg pats are fine, but I'm like. you did say you sat on his lap like that. would that would be uncomfortable for. me. >> Yeah. >> And at the same time, I feel like. there's something missing here because. the betrayal part that's being kind of. miscommunicated. >> What's this betrayal? Because if we're. going off your timeline, they've been. separated for almost 2 years. He had.

already filed for divorce before he and. I met, >> okay, >> and now you've been together for over a. year. Where's the betrayal coming from? Was he cheating with someone else or. like, >> right, >> where's this painful history surrounding. the end of their marriage and the. beginning of our relationship, which she. associates with betrayal? Well, I would. also there might be something else. But. even with what they're giving us, like. this isn't two years they've been.

divorced. Like. >> it's two years since they separated and. >> since he filed. Yeah. >> And even like filing that doesn't mean. that you're It takes a while even from. filing, I'm pretty sure. Right. >> I don't know. I'm watching the H3 stuff. play out right now. >> And I feel like she posted her Instagram. statement and filed for divorce like a. couple days later. Well, yeah, but after. filing, don't you have like all the. proceedings and stuff before it's. actually official? >> Yeah. And like you're still pretty. wrapped up in each other's worlds. >> You are. It's not instant you're.

divorced. And we're going to talk about. it soon on an episode coming up with Jen. Hamilton, but like in certain states, you have to remain separated for over a. year before you can even get divorced. >> I was seeing that recently. >> So, she's petitioning to like have that. law changed now. >> That Yeah, that's amazing. And so. there's there's rules state by state and. different countries and things like. that. So yeah, they still could have. been very intertwined, >> right? >> Living together still maybe like we. don't even know. >> Yeah. and they do have kids together and.

it's a hard situation and like I don't. know for for a marriage and even some. like relationships that don't make it to. marriage a year of separation when you. meet someone like that is going to be. painful for the other person. >> Yeah. I'd be crushed. And they're young. >> Yeah. 31 32 and they share kids. So like. the kids are what? Under 10. >> Yeah. >> Like they're still really young. Like. this is all seemingly like very fresh. and a a pretty quick explosive ending to.

their marriage. I don't think OP's being. an but I also think that like. this other person is sort of just asking. for a little bit of like sensitivity and. kind of just like hoping to be have her. feelings considered in this because it. is a really hard situation. And it's. like she's not it didn't come across as. like demanding or like insulting in the. way that it was worded like her request. about the intimacy. It just kind of. sounded straightforward.

And. >> I understand OP2 being like, I'm meeting. all these people. If I were to act kind. of like strangers with my partner, then. I'd feel even like less involved in. things and I'd feel more awkward at. these spaces. Like I I understand where. both of these people are coming from. And I think it's sad to hear. >> Yeah. >> On both ends. >> I'm very curious if she's pissing on. him, though. >> I'm very very. >> right. Is OP being like a reliable. narrator? >> I don't think so because.

guess what we have? We have another post. from OP that comes one year ago. >> Oh, >> the post we read was just from 23 days. ago. >> Oh. >> Uh-huh. >> Oh, wait. So, people sleuththed and they. found an older post. opposite of an update. >> Uh-huh. Barbie Privilege posted this as. the top comment and it's a screenshot of. OP's post. >> Oh my gosh. >> And then says OP knows she was the other.

woman and is trying to pretend she. wasn't here for sympathy. >> I just got chills. Wait. Oh my god. And. then the next comment down is they filed. for divorce, not they are divorced. That's what I was saying. OP was very. covert with her words. >> I. Exactly. Exactly. And that's where I'm. like I think I think she is like she's. being like I just need comfort from my.

partner. It's like. >> I get that but I also think like you. sitting on his lap is not comfort. Like. if I sat on my husband's lap in front of. his whole family, I would actually feel. embarrassed. >> I agree. And I know like that's whatever. floats your boat. do what? Do you in. your relationship? But like I then I was. kind of like you sat on his lap like. wait until that to me feels like you're. you're marking your territory. >> Didn't she say I don't sit on his lap? But I did one time sit on his leg. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> it's the same thing. You sat on his leg, not his lap. Were you straddling one.

thigh? >> Oh, what does that look like? >> Oh god, what is that? >> And what way were you facing? Wait, what. is the screenshot of the older post? So, the older post is coming from a. subreddit called Unsent, Unread, Unheard, and it's titled, "I want to. apologize to her." [gasps]. Oh my god. I've been sitting with this. for a while, and though it may never. reach you or even be something you want. to hear, I needed to write it. I want to. apologize. From one woman to another,

I'm sorry for the pain and hurt that may. have come from my part in all of this. I. never set out to disrupt or insert. myself into your life or marriage. I got. involved with someone who told me he was. emotionally separated, disconnected, and. struggling deeply in his relationship. I. believed what I was told, and I acted. from a place of trust, not malice. Still, regardless of the circumstances. or intentions, I know the impact may.

have caused pain, and for that, I'm. truly sorry. I imagine this situation. has been incredibly difficult for you. and as someone who's been carrying my. own heartbreak, I don't take yours. lightly. This letter is not about blame. or justification. It's just an. acknowledgement that behind everything. There's a woman who deserved honesty and. respect, and I'm sorry for any role I. played in making that harder. I've grown. through this. I've learned and I've.

hurt, too. But more importantly, I've. realized the importance of being. accountable. Whether or not this ever. reaches you, I hope life brings you. healing, clarity, peace, and somebody. who cherishes you. I'm truly sorry for. the hurt I have caused. I'm so gagged by this story. This is. unbelievable. I I literally I literally. when you're saying that I was like. separated for 2 years and then like. using the word filed later, like those. are very different. like those that.

doesn't mean that they were actually. divorced. >> No, my my jaw is just like stuck hanging. open right now. >> Oh my god. And so it's like, okay, so. did she just over this time like drink. the Kool-Aid and like more and more be. like, okay, yeah, she's the enemy. Like. they really were separated and like got. further from it or like has she had to. delude herself into this because she. knows she's admitted to it being a. betrayal and then in this post now she's. like for some reason she thinks she was. betrayed.

It's really confusing and I'm I'm. wondering because this post is coming a. year later essentially. I'm wondering if. now she's found out more details to be. like, well, he filed for divorce before. I ever met him, >> right? >> But like they're not divorced. And so. >> I'm wondering if like there's new. information that kind of changes that. old post. But. >> it's very clear they're not divorced. It's very clear that based on this other. woman, the wife was extremely hurt in.

all of this. >> and said something's fishy. Something I. don't know what something is fishy. >> Well, the phrase like I I didn't set out. to like insert myself in your marriage. or whatever it was she said. She said in. your marriage. >> That makes me think they weren't. separated. >> Yeah. and him being like, "We were. deeply emotionally uninvested or. whatever the hell he said." I'm like, "Oh my god." Yeah, that's like the. easiest thing anyone can possibly say. about wanting to have an affair. He told. me he was emotionally separated,

disconnected, and struggling deeply in. his relationship. >> That sounds one-sided. That doesn't. sound like there was a conversation. about a separation. That sounds like. internally in his head he'd started. separating. >> Yeah. That doesn't give, oh, we're going. through a rough patch. Oh, we're. separated. Oh, I'm about to be divorced. Oh, I already filed for divorce before I. met you. >> No, that gives. >> I'm unhappy and. trying to have an affair. Emotionally. separated. >> Yeah, >> that's not physically separated.

>> Yeah. Geographically separated. That's. That's nothing. That's in your head. Did. your wife even know? Was she feeling it? Damn. The wife the ex-wife's like. message now, too. It was so much more. respectful than they deserved in the way. she put it. >> Super cordial. >> You know, like back rubs are okay. Like. this is okay. I just would really prefer. it if you didn't do this. >> Well, and depending on how young. >> the kids are. Yeah.

>> This could be so confusing for them. And. I'm like in my head now, I just start. going down the rabbit hole. I'm like, they share kids. Did she have baby? And. he was just like, "Peace out. I'm going. to get it somewhere else." Like, how did. this all go down? I want her to find. this. I also feel like it's the other. layer of it is that it's should be kind. of a joint decision between the parents. of when the new partner is even. introduced to the kids. Like within. reason obviously you can't like forever. hold it off but I think it's like. >> it is confusing to the kids and it also.

is a hard moment for the kids because it. finalizes that their parents aren't. getting back together and like that's a. tough emotional thing too. So it's like. that also needs to be a conversation. between the two of them. I don't know. Absolutely. I'm. >> unreliable narrator. Oh my god. Blown. away by this. >> Wow. Really? Yeah. >> Does OP reply to being called out? >> I'm not seeing any comments from OP. Me and Bailey. We'll do a deep dive real. quick. >> Yeah, I there's no comments. No. Oh. Oh,

>> she has commented. [gasps and sighs]. She's commented a few times. >> We have a comment. >> She's actually commented a lot. >> Oh my god. Is she defensive? >> Yeah. And all of them are getting like. hundreds of down votes. Oh my god. Okay. Okay. We got comments. >> We found dirt. We found dirt. >> We got a mud puddle. >> Oh my god. [sighs]. >> So, I'm like I got to load this whole. parent comment because I think this. thread she's going back and forth with. someone is just like tea. [laughter].

She's like in the weeds about it. So, Opie says, "My other post wasn't me. admitting I was an affair partner. It. was me apologizing for being a part of. her life when I had no intention to be a. part of it in the way I did. He didn't. cheat on her with me. They were. separated. And someone goes, "Mama, you. made the whole post admitting to being. the affair partner and hemming and. hawing over whether to tell her or not. Just own up to it and be honest going. forward. Why would you lie to your own. self?" That's Barbie privilege coming.

in. That's the one that posted the. initial screenshot on the two takes post. of her of the post. Oh my god, I forgot. that this was a two hot takes post. This is insane. OP is is out there right now. OP girl. So OP responds, it was a post debating. if I should apologize for the. unintentional hurt I caused her. She. knew we were seeing each other. Someone. goes, "That's not what you said in the. comments of the other post. You. indicated she didn't specifically know.

about you." OP responds. I think it said. something along the lines of with the. information that is coming about, I'm. not sure she did know about me, but. since that post, I do know she did know. about me. Lots of moving parts took. place after that post. And I mean, that's fair, but at the same time, [laughter] I I don't know. OP goes on to. say like cuz people are like, "Can you. please elaborate on all this? Like, basically, by your own admission, your. partner's a liar." Blah blah blah blah.

>> Mhm. And the writer says they weren't. together. They were having talks about. possibly trying to fix their marriage, which was also communicated to me. Oh, girl, that's worse. Oh my god, you just. said the worst thing you could possibly. say. They were in talks about fixing. their marriage. >> He was breadcrumbming the out of. her. >> This is terrible. When this conversation. came up, I bowed out of their. relationship. I have had a conversation. with her about my part in all of it and. she doesn't blame me or feel as though.

the end of their marriage is my fault. because the truth is their marriage. ended before I even came into the. picture. Okay, but that's not what you. just said. This timeline is so messy cuz. she's saying like after they were. together, they had conversations about. trying to fix their marriage and then. she bowed out because of that. So. clearly the relationship was not over by. the time it started with you. They were. talking about fixing it after you. Yeah. And people go on like a couple questions. like in your post you indicated he was. lying to you and that's why you broke.

up. OP goes the line was specifically. about a divorce being filed. At that. time I couldn't find it online. I have. since found it. That alone made me think. all of what I was being told was a lie. How could it not? I also didn't think. she knew as much about me as I thought. she did. She definitely did. This I. don't know. I have screenshots from. their conversations about him deciding. what he was going to do. Work on their. marriage or continue dating me. How about some time alone? How about a.

little bit of time alone? Oh my god, I. hate this guy. I do I'm getting the vibe. that OP has. convinced herself or like a combination. of her convincing herself and him. convincing her. Like something has taken. place in the last year. Like I do. believe OP believes what she's saying to. be true because otherwise it's like you. don't no one knows who you are. You. don't have anything to prove to these. people by like arguing about this. It it. feels like they genuinely do like. believe what they're saying and they're.

not trying to lie just to like get. people to agree with them. But it is. like by their own admission very. confusing the way that they're setting. up this timeline. >> I think and I think that's on him. Yeah. I think there's times when like I've. dated people and they've they've told me. things that like in my gut I don't feel. lying up or eh it feels like he's lying. but like you want to believe it because. you care about the person and you want. to continue forward. >> Yeah. So, I think our writer here is. like really having a hard time going.

through that. But like even looking at. this where it's like if I saw. screenshots of my now boyfriend talking. with his wife being like, "Well, what. should I do? Should I fix our marriage. or continue dating this other person?". It's like, you didn't really like me. either. You didn't really respect me. either. >> Yeah. if you were also talking to your. wife wife about fixing your marriage. >> Mhm. Yeah. This is a tough one. This is. a thing where it's like if if OP were a.

a real friend of mine in real life, I'd. be like, "What are you doing?" Like, "You have to get out of this. He's got. you so mixed up. >> You don't know left from right anymore.". like she and she felt so bad about this. situation a year ago and like seemed to. have a totally different take and like. moral compass on it all and like the. longer you're in it like it's just I. don't know drowning her in it in the in.

the Kool-Aid. >> Yeah. I'm just like. this is crazy. So crazy. Apparently they. are divorced now. in a comment. >> Yeah. Uh, and but with all that said, it's like you wrote this whole post. about how much you hurt her. And so you. do have an awareness of that. You're. like intimately familiar with her pain. because you've been there through the. entire divorce process. >> So ultimately, when it comes back to. this Reddit post and just this one.

request from the wife, from the ex-wife, just honor that. Like have a little bit. of compassion. I know that you. understand what she's feeling. you've. like seen the pain that she's. experiencing. Like, >> yeah, just have a little grace. >> Yeah. An OP says like, "We don't kiss or. do anything sexual. I'll give him a hug. when I start to feel overwhelmed.". But I feel like if you're feeling. overwhelmed, maybe time and place, maybe. this is too soon. And like. >> Mhm. >> I do think it's interesting like the.

wife going to all of the family. gatherings and then in my head I'm like, is she literally still breastfeeding? Like is that why she's going to all. these family gatherings? Cuz in her head. she's like, "I'm not enjoying this. I'm. finding this uncomfortable. I don't want. to be around the two of you. It's. painful.". >> Well, in the Yeah. Um they're so young. that it's like you would imagine if they. have multiple kids that they would be on. the younger side. >> Yeah. And so I'm like she again might be. going above and beyond to make sure.

>> kids have a relationship with his family. and she's there facilitating this. And. it's like. >> I don't know. But I think you're right. Maybe it's too early for you to be. there. Like I I don't think after one. year with a partner, you need to be at. all of their holidays and all their. events. Go to go see your family for a. holiday. Like you don't have to be doing. all that just yet. And then you add on. this awkwardness and like this layer of. making someone else uncomfortable, making yourself uncomfortable. It's. like, why are you pushing it so early.

for all of these things? >> It's so odd. >> Yeah. There's one comment that OP. responds to. Everyone gets to be. uncomfortable in this situation. Time. will pass and it will all get better. And Opie says we all are and we all hope. it passes. I mean, yeah, that's of. course what we're going to hope for with. this situation, but. >> yeah, >> it does it does sound like a little bit. more um convoluted than it's being. advertised. >> Yeah. And I I honestly I hope she the. wife gets a partner and I hope wife gets.

to bring this partner to all the family. gatherings, too. Like. >> I hope it does end up. >> in a happier, better situation. >> where she ends up, you know, finding a. person that doesn't do this to her. because I would be so distraught if my. husband went from, "Oh, let's fix our. marriage to," Nah, just kidding. I got a. girlfriend. >> Yeah. I mean, he's an And he's. an for bringing OP to these. events, too. Like, I don't know. It's.

>> knowing how it played out, knowing. everyone's feelings. You heard her. >> It's too soon. Will it always be like. this? No. But like give it a little bit. more time. And again, I would love more. context on kids. Like kids ages never. mentioned. I'm feeling like that might. be a little intentional. >> Mhm. There's another one here like I. know they were separated. When he told. me he was going to try and reconcile, we. broke things off. I'm also not trying to. compete with her in a popularity. contest. I have no reason to, nor do I. want to. They had a very codependent.

relationship. We have already reduced. NPDA to a complete minimal. If you. watched us from afar, you wouldn't even. think we were a couple. And she's asked. us to reduce intimacy even further. I. think people fail to ask more questions. or dig into the wise of things. Not. everything is black and white. No. marriage and relationship is black and. white. People do many things for many. reasons. And people make assumptions as. to why without ever asking why. >> Okay, girl. They had filed for divorce a month.

before I met him. Divorces can stall and. take long periods of time if both. parties can't agree. It's common. Well, it sounds like they did stopped a. agreeing on it because then they were. going to try to make things work. He. told me he was checked out of his. marriage and ready to move on. They. lived in two separate houses and were. separated. He was dating other people. before I met him. As the weeks passed, he started having second doubts because. of the kids. He did tell me he was going. to try and work on the marriage for the. sake of the children. We ended things.

when this came up. I blocked him and. went no contact with him for months and. during that time their marriage came to. a complete end. The ball was already. moving when I met him. My apology to her. was my part in the difficulty of trying. to save their marriage. I played because. he developed feelings for me and she was. aware. Not because I was the mistress or. knowingly allowing him to cheat on her. They were not together when I was seeing. him. I mean, yeah. I I believe OP like I. I I understand kind of what she's trying. to say with all of that additional.

context. Yeah. But I think again where. it gets messy is that. >> there was this weird overlapping time I. guess like after you got together. So I. guess like not even contesting that when. they first met he was acting as a single. guy. Like obviously that's not OP's. responsibility either to like. >> I don't know like she was single. This. guy has been dating, is has filed for. divorce, is living separately, but the. emotional complications. I also would. love to know the exact timeline. Like,

how long ago was it that they tried? She's saying she's been with him for a. year. Is that including the first part. or is that like only ever since getting. back together? So, like in the last year. that you've been together, is that when. they tried to make it work again? >> That's a really good point. Like this is. all very fresh regardless. >> Yeah, I'm very very intrigued by this. one. >> Yeah. >> Couple other comments, but like not. really diving further. Again, just. trying to make it very clear to everyone. like they lived in two different houses.

and had been separated for over a month. when I met him. >> But I think it's like overall coming. from like the wife's perspective. Yeah. They were separated for a month before. you met him, but he was already going on. these dates. And then in the same. breath, he's going to her, let's fix. this, let's try. And it's just like, >> yeah, >> the whiplash of it all. >> Yeah. >> And you by all of this probably didn't. have it easy either. Like. >> it's messy. >> It's unfortunate. >> I think for the sake of all of you, all.

parties involved, especially kids who. are seemingly probably young kids. >> I would just try to be as cordial as you. can be. you can sit on his lap, make out. as much as you want at home, but like. you're being involved in this family, and that in itself is a gift. There's a. lot of people that would be like, "It's. too soon. You're not coming." Blah, blah, blah. There's some people that. don't meet their partner's kids for. years. >> Yeah. >> Years. So, >> absolutely. >> I would just try to not rock the boat. and just proceed forward with as much.

grace as you can because there's clearly. a lot of people hurting here. I would. also say his family would probably like. you more and respect you more if you're. not doing that in front of the ex-wife, too, because they probably feel a way. about the situation. There was a comment. where OP said like, "We've asked other. family if we make them uncomfortable.". No, but also, is anyone going to be that. honest with you guys? >> Yeah. I would just air on the side of. caution. And I'm like, if you need a.

hug, pull them into another room, give. them a hug, walk back out. Like, >> oh, it's a sticky one. It's tough. It is. so tough. [sighs] But [gasps] okay, moving along. OP, if you're out there, we would love an update. >> Yeah, we would love it if you dumped him. as well. But. >> that true. [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's true. >> Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain a pretty heavy. conversation about a relationship with. emotional abuse, and it gets a little. dark. So, if you can't handle that.

today, please skip ahead. This is coming. from r/ relationship advice. It's. titled, "My boyfriend, 27 male, is. getting increasingly angry with me, 22. female, for getting pregnant. How do I. even begin to navigate this? [sighs and gasps]. Hope it's okay. I use a throwaway. account for this. Boyfriend and I have. been dealing with my unexpected. pregnancy. I'm on the pill. Neither of. us saw this coming. By the time we found. out, I was too far along for an. abortion. I was increasingly sad and.

still am sometimes. We had some really. good conversations and decided we will. keep the baby. He came around to that. idea a lot faster than I did. And for. the past months, he and I have been. trying to get each other through this. and trying to get ready for the baby. He. was really sweet at first, even more. than he usually would be. But now, he's. slowly gone from annoyed to furious with. me. I will never know which Jay I'm. going to get. Sometimes there's no.

issue. Sometimes just looking at me will. set off a fit of anger. He'll say things. like, "I'm not trying hard enough to get. excited." Then another day he'll tell me. that I might as well have ended his life. by getting pregnant. He doesn't like how. I look. I'm nearing the end of my. pregnancy. And then later, he loves how. I look. I feel like I'm losing my mind. If I even mention anything negative. related to being pregnant, as simple as. I'm tired, he gets annoyed. I promise.

I'm not complaining often, rarely since. this mood of his started, but I will. admit I still struggle with everything. that's changing in my life, and I'm. dealing with a lot of anxiety. I've. subtly tried to recommend therapy. I've. been going even before I got pregnant, but that was not okay. I've suggested. some distance and he then accused me of. wanting to leave him and we got into. another horrible fight. I'm at a loss. here. I just wanted to add this to make. sure. I've grown a lot to love this baby.

and will do anything for them. Just. struggle sometimes with how much my life. is changing. Damn, this one's really. sad. Heartbreaking. This is just really. sad. And I think it sucks that like this. is so often. not only physically but like emotionally. on the woman of like all of the. >> No, this one's crazy. >> And for like the resentment to be on. her, it's like your physically went. into her. So it takes two.

>> Yeah. It's even the line my boyfriend. and I have been dealing with my. unexpected pregnancy and it's like yes. you're the one that's pregnant but like. it did take two of you and then I don't. know why maybe it's just me being ultra. paranoid based on stories we've had in. the past but OP saying like I'm on the. pill neither of us saw this coming and. I'm like are we sure about that? Like. are we sure he didn't tamper with your. birth control? Because. >> yeah that's really hard to have happen. if you're on the pill. I well it's like.

it's pretty effective. And so in my head. I'm like we've had stories in the past. where it's like my boyfriend admitted to. me that he tampered with my birth. control and I'm just like because he's. just going through all these like wild. ranges of emotions and I'm like he. clearly needs to get some help. I don't. know if he you know maybe is dealing. with some mental health stuff or a. diagnosis and that could explain his. behavior and he needs you know. medication management or better coping. strategies or xyz. I don't know, but he. clearly needs to seek out professional.

help because the way in which he's. acting right now is extremely abusive. Well, and from the flip side, we've seen. I just thought about what what did you. say on the. >> on the flip hand? >> On the flip [laughter] hand, >> I don't know how I got that one. >> On the on the flip hand, we've seen a. lot of stories where after pregnancy is. when a boyfriend can get really like. mean and like start to show their true. colors, too. So you could see, you know, from another perspective like him doing. it on purpose and then now can be mean.

to her or something like that because. insulting the way she looks too. What. did she she put it in a sad way. It was. like he's not happy with the way I look. I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy. Like basically being like read between. the lines. I'm I'm big. I'm changing. My. body's big. I'm very pregnant. Yeah. And. yeah, he doesn't like the way I look. And then later he loves how I look. And. it's like the the quite literally the. whiplash she is experiencing and so much. so that like she can't even vent. She.

can't even be negative. She can't say. I'm tired. How has she gone through this. pregnancy with such an unsupportive, diabolical, heinous partner? Well, and. not only did they get pregnant together, they also made the decision to keep the. baby together. So every decision, it's. not even like a, you know, we got. pregnant but then he wanted me to get an. abortion and I didn't. Like it's not. even that. It's like they made the. decision all these decisions together. >> Yeah. And there's other options too, right? Like you could put this baby up.

for adoption if you both are not ready. to be parents. Like there are other. options you could have pursued rather. than him being like you might as well. have ended my life by getting pregnant. >> Oh my god, that was horrible. >> That's crazy to say. That is so. inappropriate to say. like what are you. doing? And now she at the end of it she. is saying like I'm I will do anything. for my baby. I mean she's nearing the. end of it now. She's probably feeling. this bond and it's like she wants to do. her best now with the situation that. they're in. And.

>> on top of all of that to be like this is. the person I'm going to do it with. Like. I don't know. >> Yeah. It sucks. Absolutely sucks. So OP. very very quickly removed that post. Oh, gone. Replaced all of the text with the. following message. Oh, thank you all for. your concern. Boyfriend saw my post. We. had a good conversation and we'll try to. work everything out. I've also made many.

mistakes and shouldn't have painted him. in such a bad light. Going to step away. from this to focus on my relationship. and the baby. Thanks for everything. Sorry. Oh god. Um, my alarm bells. Yeah. >> Blasting through the roof. >> Yeah. And like not only to to like. remove all of that, it's like what is. the the discomfort with people saying. this is bad? Why is it like so extreme? Yeah. A lot of times you'll see like. partner saw the post. Yeah. And it's an.

edit. I think there's that much more. gravity to this story and the abuse. that's happening in this relationship. where it is gone. Like she wanted to. wipe it and just replace it with this. statement. Well, so luckily, like the. way I was able to read this is someone. did. >> get a copy of it. Yeah, PJs are comfy. And posted it in the comments for people. that missed the original. >> I think there's something scary about. wanting to hide the behavior because you. have to really know something is wrong. or like something has to really be wrong.

for it to be like we can't even talk. about the dynamic that's happening. We. can't even like have an honest. conversation about it or like put it at. face value. Like that's when it gets. really scary. >> Yeah. Because it would be unsafe for. her. And even in her response, like. she's she's placating him in a way to be. like, I've also made many mistakes. I. shouldn't have painted him in such a bad. light. Like, is she even the one typing. this? And that's where you just you. really really worried. >> A lot of comments are also worried. And. speak to what's maybe happening here.

based on professional experience. There's a commenter here, Plastic Venus, that says, "As a DFW counselor, I can. tell you that pregnancy is at the top of. the ladder for most dangerous times for. women in relationships. If you have a. partner showing increased anger and. you're pregnant, particularly if he. doesn't want that pregnancy, you need to. be aware that you are potentially in a. very unsafe position.". >> Well, yeah. And it does make the comment. about um you might as well end my life.

scarier because it's like. >> if this baby is the reason you feel that. way, I think it makes the violence. toward ending their life scarier. It's. just unhinged behavior. And I just I. really worry for OP. I mean, this is a. very recent post. I'm not sure when that. edit was changed, but the original post. is only 19 days old. I know like a lot. of times people get support and stories. and outreach from others that have been. in the same position or similar shoes.

and it does really help. So even if. you're leaving a comment on the post. from an anonymous Reddit account, then. like. >> it's it's the post is still up. The post. hasn't been deleted, the account is. still there. So I would say if you you. know want to lend OP some support here, go leave a comment on this. Yeah, I. think that that can be really helpful. I. mean, we don't know how dire the. situation is because seemingly before. this post, you know, like there wasn't.

internet being controlled and you know, all of that. So, it might it might still. be earlier stages of a dangerous. situation. >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I hope we get an update on this one. I. mean, the comments are just rightfully. mad. >> Mad and worried. Like a lot of comments. are like he's also responsible for this. just as much as you are. Like you're on. the pill but he also could have worn. protection and like be prepared for him. to leave. And then other people are like. if he leaves that would be the best. outcome you know.

>> She was by the way the only one doing. anything to prevent pregnancy. Like she. like taking a pill it's only you every. day doing that. It's only your body. being affected. Like he wasn't doing a. single thing to prevent the pregnancy. So to put the blame on her it's like so. unfair. Like I was actually trying. >> I was changing my hormones. Yeah. Every. single day. >> Where was your. >> nothing about your life was changed in. order to prevent a pregnancy. Like okay. >> And then to blame her. It's it's.

absolutely heinous. So I will make sure. there's resources if you feel like alarm. bells are ringing or this feels close to. home for you. I'll make sure there's. resources in the comments. And again, like offer OP some support in the. comments on this post because I know. people come back and they look at it. even after changing the post, even after. the edits. They still keep up with. comments. >> It's not deleted. The account is still. there. So, >> I'd uh I'd make a comment if you feel. inclined to. Moving on to this next one.

coming from r/non monogamy titled our 44. female 44 male son 20 male found out. about our open relationship in the worst. way possible. 5 days ago my son 20 male. came home from college claiming his. mother was cheating on me with one of. his classmates. I was completely caught off guard. He. said that a classmate was bragging to a.

mutual friend, let's call him Mike, my. son's friend, who has been to our house. many times, about hooking up with an. older woman. Then the classmate showed. Mike a picture of the woman, and it was. my wife. Mike didn't say anything to the. classmate, but he called my son. immediately. My son came home furious, convinced my wife was cheating. I. stepped out under the excuse of picking. up dinner, which I actually did, and I.

called my wife to tell her what. happened. She started panicking and said. she was scared to come home and face. him. I told her we had to come clean and. explain the truth. That night, we sat. down for a family meeting. My son was. already yelling, asking why we were. pretending when he knew the truth. I. asked him to calm down and let us talk. I told him that my wife and I opened our. marriage 5 years ago, that we both see. other people occasionally, and that we. still love each other and are committed.

to our marriage and our family. My wife. apologized for him finding out this way. and said she would be more careful in. choosing partners. My son said he needed. time to process and went to bed. My wife. cried afterwards, saying he would never. accept us. I told her we need to give. him space. The next morning, my son came. downstairs for breakfast. My wife tried. to hug him and he physically pushed her. away and called her a quote, "Lady of. the night." I told him to apologize.

immediately. He ignored me and asked her. how many of his friends and classmates. she had slept with. When my wife tried. to apologize again, he told us he. couldn't respect us anymore and called. us disgusting. I warned him to watch his. words and he told me to screw myself and. left for school. My wife broke down. crying. I told her to take the day off. work and to not engage with him until. he's ready. Since then, he's been cold.

and distant, barely speaking to either. of us. I understand this was a huge. shock to him, but the insults and. disrespect towards his mother are not. okay. We don't want to lose our son over. this. We're still the same parents who. raised him and nothing about our love. for our family has changed. How do we. repair this? How do we help him. understand that this doesn't change who. we are as his parents? Do we give him. space, go to family therapy, or try to.

talk again? All right. I kind of feel. like there are a lot of in this. story because first of all, the wife is. having sex with his classmate. That's. not appropriate. It's a lot. >> That's gross. >> Yeah. Don't where [snorts] your. son's eating. >> I like want to be supportive of this. couple because I'm like they both sound, you know, very in love with each other. They've got a system that works. They're. doing they're they're totally. >> monogamy is not the issue here. >> Yeah. But then your son's 20-year-old. classmate like I guess so he found out.

from a friend who saw from So it's not. his friend. Exactly. >> No, but mutuals, >> right? So someone around and it's just. like it's gross. Also, that guy. obviously like showing pictures as an. Some of his reaction I don't. love too, but I also can't imagine that. it would be good to hear it from in the. way that he did hear it. >> No. And like you race home thinking your. mom's cheating, like you're just your. world is kind of shattered. And then to. be like, "Oh, well, we've, you know,

been doing this since you were 15." And. it's just like the relationship that you. thought your parents had and their life. and your life and everything. It's it's. kind of shattered. And this is something. that you know might take him a lot of. adjusting. I find it interesting though. with this one how mom and dad are both. sitting you down telling you, "Hey, we've decided to open our relationship. This was a mutual decision." Yeah. >> And instead he just goes to his mom and. is like, okay, lady of the night. It's.

like right some of it felt misogynistic. and that's what I was trying to touch on. of like uh. >> she like how many how many people have. you slept with type thing and it's like. I I also want to give a little bit of. >> you could also be sleeping with your. classmates and you just don't know yet. >> Absolutely. Like we haven't investigated. his actions yet. I want to give a little. grace in the fact that it is his. classmate and that might be part of the. reaction totally. But at the same time, some of his reaction again felt like he. was thinking now his mom's a.

>> Well, and it's like I literally Googled. I'm like lady of the night because I've. I've not come across that really. >> really I've come across that one. >> And it's a polite or euphemistic term. for a female prostitute or sex worker. And then in my head I'm like, okay, well. he said lady of the night. Like at least. he didn't call her a. >> right? >> It's just a synonym for. >> he actually he did. >> He did call her [clears throat] a. OP. Oh my god, we need to get to the. comments. >> Yeah, OP put lady of the night to so. that the post wouldn't get removed, but. the kid said.

>> Oh, >> so he did call her a That's. >> he called his mom. But that and that's. the thing is like if he's upset about it. being his classmate, that's valid. If. he's upset because. >> in general. >> because he's like objectifying his. mother as like a now because she's. sleeping like that's like a different. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay. So, I'm I'm. looking at the comment Bailey just. punched in. So, someone says, "Ignoring. that this is obviously made up. What.

20-year-old uses Lady of the Night? Why. is your wife going after college. students, especially at her son's. school?" And that's when OP shares, "I. said lady of the night cuz I didn't want. my post removed." According to my wife, his profile on the app didn't mention. college. My wife agrees it was a stupid. mistake to make. So yeah, he definitely. did not use okay that term and went a. little um. >> more derogatory. So she's on probably. one of those like field apps or. something like that. >> You know, you know what I'm talking. about? >> Which if anyone ever hasn't heard of.

that, it's like a open relationship type. app I think where it's like. >> it's not Tinder or Hinge. Like it's not. a more straightforward dating. It is. more of like a sex like more random like. hookup type thing. >> like um seeking arrangements but a. little more modern. >> Yeah. And not like not money exchanged. >> Oh. Seeking arrangement just all money. >> Seeking arrangements is like older guys. for the most part looking for a younger. girl that they can pay to that's the. arrangement. It's like I pay you for. Yeah. >> I thought it was open for a lot of.

things. And then there's the other one. that got busted for the scandal. >> Ashley Madison. Oh, I didn't know about. that one. Like their servers got hacked. and people were releasing all the emails. and so people were finding out their. husbands were like, "Oh god, cheating.". Okay. Well, I think that. it's still not a good age gap, but if. she didn't know and like it was more of. just like a random profile hookup thing. It's and he is of age, it's like less.

heinous than her like meeting obviously. like meeting a classmate of his on. purpose at like a school function and. then like going home with him or. something. >> Yeah. She still shouldn't be hooking up. with 20-year-olds. >> No. Oh, and someone else makes a comment. here too to OP basically saying like the. both of you need to stop hooking up with. 20-year-olds, but I tried to look at the. account. Account has been banned. I. mean, yeah, that's why I was like, there's multiple in this story. I was like, the wife shouldn't be doing. that. The son sounds misogynistic in his.

reaction. The friend was showing. pictures of her. Like, it's like it's I. thought it was weird that I don't know. It's like did the wife not have a. conversation with this guy at all before. they hooked up being like oh like what. do you do. to school or. >> or he's just like older woman and he's. lying cuz he's kind of not disclosing on. the app. >> So the top comment is about the one you. both need to stop dating people your. kids age. >> OP says you're right about the age. thing. My wife has decided it's not.

worth the trouble. [laughter]. >> Okay. So, no clarification that like. we're both I don't do that and she's. decided no more. >> Um, >> all right. I mean, that the hard thing. is that's the most glaring thing in this. story and it's kind of preventing me. from getting in the weeds about like the. rest of it cuz her that's literally not. OP's point, but I'm just like, all. right. So, we do get an update. Ooh. So, update. A lot has happened these past. few weeks. My son wanted to tell my.

parents about the situation. I had to. threaten to remove funding for his. college to prevent this. He went to. individual therapy and we did family. therapy a week ago. The house has been. cold and distant. My son recently opened. up to us 4 days ago. He told us he feels. extremely anxious going to college. because he is afraid Mike might have. told someone else. He apologized for. what he called his mother. He said that. he isn't inherently against our open.

relationship, but found it disturbing. that we would hook up with people not. only his age, but people he also has. mutual connections with. >> Valid. >> He told us his mother's action can still. potentially affect his social life. That's true. >> Very true. >> That is true. He let out a lot of. feelings he seemed to have kept to. himself for a while. My son said that he. noticed there was a disconnect between. him and us when he was around 14 years. old. Initially, he thought it was. because he was becoming more.

independent, but he feels now there was. more going on. He told us we were too. focused on our lives outside of the. family than other families. >> My son would notice how his friends. would have their parents practically beg. them to hang out with them. Meanwhile, he never felt as much as seen as. compared to his friends. He thinks it's. because of our open relationship that we. are not that close to him. There. actually might be something to that. >> I'm going to take back my son's the. >> I know. Well, if this was his initial.

reaction, it would been like damn, he. like got their asses for real. >> Yeah. >> Instead of just going. >> No, [laughter]. >> but I'm like like he's probably like my. parents didn't really want to hang out. with me, >> right? Because dates lined up. >> Usually like if you have kids in school, it's like can we make time for date. night with each other once a week? Is. that's something we feasibly have time. for? I would imagine if they both have. multiple dates outside of the home, like. they would be busier. Yeah. OP goes on.

to share, "We asked what he wants from. us going forward. He said for the sake. of his mental health, he needs some time. away from us. He mentions he holds too. much resentment to be around us. My son. isn't going to continue his college in. the spring semester.". >> Oh my god. He's going to work full-time. and apply to transfer to an outofstate. school for the next fall semester. I'll. be honest, I don't like this idea, but I. told him we would talk about it later, especially when it comes to funding. My. son replied that he isn't comfortable.

getting help from us for school. He. wants to take out loans. My wife isn't. taking it well. I'm not taking it well. either. I honestly hope my son will. change his mind in the future. Damn. I. feel really like I don't even know if. conflicted is the word for it, but I. just feel like. so conf cuz I I don't think it's. inherently bad for like a married couple. with kids to have an open relationship. >> No. But then at the same time, we're.

like hearing from this kid that he did. feel less connected with them growing up. and like it's and maybe it's just the. way that they went about it, too. Like. obviously there's so many different ways. that you can go about the same thing in. marriage um and in dating. >> but it's like this has really rocked his. world and. >> he's embarrassed to go to school. He. also I think maybe because of the. comment about well stop giving you money. if you go to your grandparents that now. he's like now I don't want them to have.

anything they can use against me and. like. >> which. >> I totally rationalize with that. The. minute someone then manipulates you and. you're like. >> I'm not taking anything from you ever. again. I don't want you to have anything. to hold over me. >> Mhm. >> I'm feeling really bad for him. >> I am too. >> Really, really bad for him. And I think. it's about to get worse because. >> What do you mean? [laughter]. >> Well, we just found another update live. >> Okay. >> Another update has. has careful [laughter].

has appeared has sprung up in front of. us. So, the original post is one year. old now. The first update came shortly. after that. Yeah, it says a year on. Reddit. It happened a few weeks after. the original post. >> And then this update is 2 months old. So. the update comes 9 months later. [sighs] Okay. >> Oh, okay. >> She's pregnant with the classmate's. child just gave birth. I'm just kidding. >> Can you imagine? [laughter].

But I do I do just want to take a like a. moment where it's like what he said to. his mom like freaking out calling her. whatever derogatory term he used like. sad. A lot of people in the comments. were like that's so disrespectful to. take a whole life of you raising him and. then throw it away over it's like it's. also on this non- monogamy sub. So they. did get a lot of support and I would say. like based on the comments I'm quickly. scanning there wasn't a lot of empathy. for him in that moment. Now getting all. this context where he's like I felt like. my parents were pulling away from me at.

14. >> and now that you're telling me this I. think it's probably in hindsight because. of this. >> I need a break and then let's take into. account the you know we're going to cut. off your funding and then he's like I'm. a social pariah. Mike is telling. everyone my mom's classmates. I. need to take a break. I'm going to. transfer out of state. And then dad's. like well we don't love that idea and. you know we might not help fund that. And it's like, >> yeah, >> I feel bad for the kid. >> Yeah. >> And I'm so scared to get into this. update because I'm looking at the title.

>> and it's not feeling great. >> Okay. >> Update. We've lost our son permanently. due to the situation. Oh my god. 9. months later, I can finally give an. update. Unfortunately, things have. gotten worse. My son followed through. with almost everything he said he was. going to do. He did not return to. college for the spring semester. Instead, he moved out, got a full-time. job, and spent the last several months. working and applying to transfer. schools. He was accepted to an. outofstate college and has just started.

his fall semester there. The part I was. not prepared for is that he seems. happier than he has been in a very long. time. At first, my wife and I assumed. the distance would be temporary. We. thought that once he had time away from. us, he might eventually want more. contact. Instead, the opposite seems to. have happened. The longer he has been. away from us, the less he seems to want. contact. For the first few months, he. would occasionally answer our calls and. messages. The conversations were awkward.

and short, but at least we had some. contact. Over time, though, he started. responding less and less. During that. time, we did not hear anything directly. from him. We only knew that he was. working and preparing to move because of. the limited information that he had. previously shared with us. What has been. the hardest is hearing about how his. life has been going since he moved out. He has been working, saving money, and. making his own decisions. He made. friends during the months he was. working. He has continued individual.

therapy. Now, he has moved out of state. and started the fall semester at this. new school. We only know these things. because he told us shortly before. leaving. My son finally contacted us. shortly before leaving for school. He. said he wanted us to understand what he. wants going forward. He said that he no. longer wants a close relationship. He. said that during the months he has been. away from us, he realized how much. anxiety he associated with being at home. and around us. He said he feels like he. can finally make decisions without.

worrying about how we will react. He. also said that he doesn't spend as much. time feeling angry anymore. That letting. go of a close relationship with us has. brought more peace than he has ever had. before. That was probably the hardest. thing he said. He told us that he wants. to maintain a distant relationship with. us, similar to the relationship he has. with some of his extended family. He is. willing to exchange occasional messages. and speak during major holidays, but he. does not want regular calls, frequent.

visits, or an emotionally close parent. child relationship. He said he's done. with us in a more permanent way. He was. very clear that he does not currently. want to rebuild a close relationship. with either of us. My wife is taking. this very badly. She's been crying. almost every day since he told us he. wanted a distant relationship. She. barely eats when she's upset and has. lost weight. She keeps rereading his. messages and scrolling through old. pictures of him as a child. Several.

times I found her sitting on the floor. in his old bedroom holding one of his. sweatshirts. She has also started. leaving long voicemails for him even. though he asked us to not call. frequently. She says she deletes them. before sending, but I have caught her. recording messages late at night. She. has written him several letters and. bought gifts for him, although he has. told us not to send packages without. asking first. She keeps checking his. social media and asking mutual. acquaintances whether he has mentioned. us. When she sees pictures of him with.

his new friends, she becomes visibly. upset and says that he looks happier. with them than he ever looked with us. She has also started blaming herself, then blaming me, then blaming other. people. One day she says we should. apologize and give him space. The next. she says that he has been manipulated by. other people and that we need to make. him understand how much we love him. She. has missed work twice because she was. too upset to get out of bed. She has. stopped seeing some of her friends. because she doesn't want to answer. questions about him. When relatives ask.

how he is doing, she either starts. crying or becomes angry and says that. they are taking his side. I have tried. to convince her that repeatedly. contacting him will only push him away. further. But she says that doing nothing. feels like abandoning him. I am taking. it badly too. Although I probably don't. show it as much. The thing I never. expected is that giving him the space he. asked for does not seem to have made him. regret leaving. it seems to have made.

him happier. And nine months ago, if you. had told me that our son would walk away. from our family, skip a semester of. college, work full-time, move out of. state, and start a new school, and. somehow ended up happier than before, I. would not have believed you. But that is. where we are now. He has made it clear. that distance is what he wants and that. he is not waiting to return to the kind. of relationship we had before. I. honestly don't know whether his feelings. will ever change, but I am beginning to.

understand that we cannot assume they. will. Now I feel totally conflicted in a. different way. >> Will. >> because on the surface it's like damn. over finding out your parents had an. open relationship because that's the. main thing here, right? Like they didn't. name call him but at the same time we. only have OP's perspective of what the. fallout actually looked like. of what their relationship has been. So, it's hard because I'm.

think. what OP and his wife did and how they. handled it sounded really hard for the. child, but then when you hear that he's. like fully removed them from his life, it's cut off. >> Is it like was it that bad? Like, is it. really that terrible that they had an. open relationship? I mean, a lot of. people have midlife crisises and you. know, run around town and do all this. type of stuff. I don't think it's about. the open relationship. I think there's a. lot that we aren't being told. >> There's a lot of missing context here. I.

think and I think you kind of get a. glimpse at the crack. >> when OP makes comments like he told us. that he feels less anxiety not having to. gauge how we're going to react to his. decisions, right? >> And you know, he was still living at. home in college. There was the comment. about we're not going to pay for your. school if you tell grandma and grandpa. So maybe he's living at home as another. means of control. >> So I think there's a lot going on here. that.

>> maybe as a controlling parent OP isn't. even realizing, >> but as a kid, he's like, I'm done. Like. this is my last straw. And I started. going through this at 14 when they. started neglecting me and didn't want to. talk to me at dinner and they were. always gone and like I didn't know what. was going on. That's another thing. that's confusing about it is like all of. these comments about them being distant. from him in the past, but then all these. comments now about them being. overbearing and too involved in his life. now. Like that kind of is a dissonance.

to me of of kind of not liking both. things. And I guess that's possible. >> I I've gone through phases with like one. of my parents where like. >> there was still like an insane amount of. control and like do this, do that, but. >> also distance. >> Yeah. like unavailability because they. were with a partner, right? Or were. living in a different place. And. >> it's kind of interesting because it's. like at that age, I felt like I didn't. want to disappoint my parents. And so I. still kind of like had that anxiety of. like, okay, be a good kid, get good.

grades, do right, but at the same time. feeling very neglected and abandoned, but still scared of the control or the. consequences from not performing. >> Yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. So. I'm like maybe he's just like now he's. like I'm done. what they did wasn't. necessarily about the open relationship, >> but about the treatment of me since they. started this. >> Yeah. More of a confirmation of like. they they have been acting in a. different way and there was a reason the. whole time and like I wasn't crazy.

>> Their other partners were more important. than me and our family. >> Yeah. >> That's like maybe where he's going with. it cuz he is only 20. But like he's. really just at this like kind of crucial. stage in his life of like going from. high schooler family, I can't live by my. life to I'm going to spread my wings and. like set some serious boundaries. But I. think like looking at how you proceed. forward, you got to give him his space. You can't keep bombarding him with.

voicemails. You can't keep sending him. >> It could feel manipulative and again. like you're not respecting his. boundaries. So, you got to just and it's. still early. They're saying like there's. still a chance that they can work this. out as a family. 9 months, I'm sure it. feels like a lot, but that's still. relatively new, I think, for like a. 20-year-old going through a huge life. change and like processing a lot at once. about their relationship with their. parents. I think a lot of people go to.

college and go off in the first time and. like leave their family environment for. the first time and see how different. other people are from their from their. parents and start to process those. things. That doesn't mean that they'll. never have a relationship with their. parents again, but like it is a big a. big step. And so, I mean, I don't know. Oh, I guess I don't know what I really. want to happen because again, it's all. from OP's perspective and we don't know. how bad the relationship was or just. [laughter] another.

>> No way. >> Yeah, we're whiplashing. I mean, >> we're whiplashing. I ju I'm like, "Oh my. god, this one was just posted on like. almost towards the end of September, but. I'm like, oh my god." I'm just like, I'm. reeling now. What the hell? [laughter]. Yeah. Update. We called our son on his. birthday. Yesterday was my son's. birthday. We called him to wish him a. happy birthday. We've been respecting. his boundaries and what he wants out of.

the relationship. He actually picked up. the phone. My wife was on the verge of. getting emotional, but she restrained. herself. I'm a little proud of her. She. managed to keep her voice steady and we. wished him a happy birthday. We asked. the generic what's up. He actually told. us about what he's doing for his. birthday. He made some friends during. transfer orientation. They were going to. go bar hopping. My son told us what. classes he's taking and showed some. videos of his dorm room. It wasn't a. long talk, but it was a good one.

Reading some of the previous comments in. the previous post sort of helped me get. my head out of my ass, and I decided to. tell my son that we were proud of him. We said that we were proud of the way he. had worked, made difficult decisions, built a life for himself, and found a. school and community where he felt. happier. We made sure he understood that. we weren't saying it to pressure him or. to suggest that he owed us anything. We. were simply proud that he had taken. responsibility for his life and had had. the courage to make the changes he.

needed. We also didn't lament on. anything or said we wished things were. better. We also told him if he ever. needs anything from us in any way, please don't be afraid to reach out to. us. He said thank you and was glad that. we called. After the call ended, my wife. started crying again, but this time they. were happy tears. I also got very. emotional, too. I mean, and this is kind. of what we were just saying in the last. one is like there's still time. And I. think this goes to show that if they're. willing to like.

>> respect his boundaries, >> respect his boundaries and engage in. healthy communication, like they're. going to get a better response and maybe. over time it's like, well, if my. relationship with you guys can be. positive, then I'll have that. relationship with you. >> Yeah. Can I ask what the comment like. have the comments changed in like. >> I was wondering what the comments on. that last update were because he was. like okay I got my head out of my ass. >> because like my advice to him again was. like you got to cut it out like don't.

>> bug him and like start respecting his. boundaries and give him time to heal. because again it doesn't seem like it's. about the non- monogamy. >> Mhm. >> Top comment. It sounds like there's a. lot more going on here than just the. incident you previously posted about. 22. is a good and normal age to move out. Everything that he has done sounds like. a healthy way of asserting independence. and starting his own adult life. Respectfully, it sounds like maybe there. was some degree of imshment here and. this might be the pendulum swinging hard. in the other direction. I'm sure that it. will at some point find a more normal.

equilibrium, but I understand him. wanting more space in this period. Okay, there's an age difference, but I think. that person cuz OP doesn't include age. here. I wonder if they were trying to do. math, >> right? They were assuming. >> and add in cuz the original post was 20. >> Yeah. >> And in this birthday update, it sounds. like a 21st birthday. So 21 is what I'm. thinking his age is now. But 20 is also. a reasonable age to not live at home.

But yeah, I left at 18. >> Finances. Sometimes people live at home. longer. Like. >> you got to do what you got to do. But I. think you can be an adult still living. at home and be independent and not have. a controlling and meshed relationship. with your parents. >> Yeah. I'm glad that the comments too are. kind of like coming around to that. because we talk about it all the time. It is hard when OP is the narrator and. we're sort of like there's something. else going on here that they're not. sharing with us. Because I mean again on.

the one hand I think more so when you. hear someone say I can finally breathe. and like I don't have an anxiety anymore. and all of those things it leads you to. believe like the relationship has been. pretty toxic but at the same time. teenagers/20year-olds. can also just feel that way about their. parents. Yeah. >> So you know. >> it's giving toxic especially by the lack. of respect. And this person that. commented on that we've ruined it. forever whatever update.

>> kind of tears them apart. >> between your inability to hear what your. son is saying and your wife's inability. to respect the boundaries he has clearly. asked for. All you are both doing right. now is confirming for him that he made. the right choice. There is clearly. clearly more to his feelings than just. this one incident. Although do not get. me wrong at all. Your wife banged one of. his classmates. A kid his own age. someone young enough to be her son. And. that is honestly actually. disgusting. That alone is amply.

sufficient reason for the kid to want. some space for at least a little while. I'd be freaked out, too, if I was in his. place. We have the saying, "Don't. where you eat." But you really shouldn't. have to tell people not to where. their kid eats. >> I literally said, >> I literally said that though. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Like Jesus Christ. What the hell is. wrong with your wife? Look, your kid is. in therapy. People who are being bratty. don't go to therapy. People who want to. grow and figure things out and take. accountability go to therapy. That means. your son thought there were problems he.

needed to work on. And so he did. And a. conclusion likely reached by both. himself and a mental health professional. is that you and your wife are bad for. his mental health. And if you want there. to be any chance 10 or 20 years from now. that your kid might be open to deepening. the relationship slightly and likely. very cautiously, you and your wife need. to change radically and take. accountability. Figure your out. for the love of God and people your. own age, please. Wait, maybe we need to.

be meaner. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. Damn. They got his ass. Damn. Damn. Yeah, shredding blue roses what. popped off. >> What a what a freaking journey. I'm glad. like the comments catch on to it, too. Like they catch on to the. >> Yeah, I feel like we're starting to get. better about unreliable narrators and. maybe maybe seeing through the cracks. >> I know.

>> It's only taken six years. >> Well, cuz here we are. >> Yeah. [laughter]. Happens to the best of us. Well, it, you. know, trusting dispositions, it's like. you're the only person we're hearing. from. Yeah. So, why are we going to make. up, you know, that you've done something. wrong? But sometimes you get a whiff. >> You do get a whiff. And I think I always. try to believe the writer. >> because a lot of times the writer's. coming from a place of like, oh no, you've been gas lit. This is obviously a.

little different of a situation, but at. the same time, people are typically more. biased. Yeah. As they write these posts. because it's. >> your experience. >> Totally. So, I'm glad we sifted through. this one. And we. >> Wow. I mean, what was that? Three. updates. >> I'm glad we read this now. Three big. updates because that's kind of like. that's really all we need to get out of. this at the end of it. barring like the. son giving us his side of the story, but.

just hearing a short like we did have a. conversation and it went well and you. know things can possibly be looking up. from here. >> I think that's the most we need. >> Yeah, I think that's it. >> What a journey. >> What a journey. [sighs]. Okay, we are wrapping up this crazy. theme with one from our very own Two Art. Takes subreddit. >> and it's titled, "Would I be the. for invoicing my husband's great uncle.

for the cheesecake at our wedding?" My. husband, 20 male, and I, 23 female, recently got married with just under 300. people. My parents and my husband's dad. and stepmom paid for the wedding. We had. 300 cupcakes in four different flavors. for our guests, plus a separate. cheesecake specifically for my husband. and me to cut. My husband doesn't like. regular cake, but absolutely loves. cheesecake. So, a family friend who. makes amazing cheesecakes specifically.

made one for us as a wedding gift. They. only make them for special occasions, so. this was especially meaningful to us. and my husband was really looking. forward to having it at our wedding. For. context, this family friend has also. sold some of their cheesecakes for. anywhere from $200 to $400. So, this. isn't something that would necessarily. be cheap or easy to replace. The. cheesecake was on its own individual. table in the dessert area, separate from. the cupcakes. The table had wheels so it.

could be wheeled out to the dance floor. for our scheduled cake cutting. Our. engraved wedding utensils were sitting. next to it. The venue workers were. supposed to bring it out 10 to 15. minutes before we were scheduled to cut. the cake. While my husband and I were. finishing dinner at the head table, our. wedding planner came over and told us. that one of our guests had cut into our. cheesecake. That guest was my husband's great uncle. He cut himself a piece using our.

engraved utensils and started eating it. >> Oh my god. Then other guests started. taking pieces, too. Our wedding planner. realized what was happening and got. after the venue staff because they. hadn't noticed or stopped it sooner. By. the time we were actually able to do our. cake cutting, only about a quarter of. the cheesecake was left. My husband and. I got a few bites before it was gone. When I was brought up to his great uncle. afterwards, he didn't apologize or seem. particularly bothered. He basically.

laughed and said something along the. lines of quote, "Well, it was good. Die, [laughter] I honestly don't understand. how you see 300 cupcakes available for. guests and decide to cut into the one. cheesecake sitting separately on its own. table, especially when the engraved. wedding utensils were literally right. next to it. I wouldn't say this ruined. our wedding. We had an amazing wedding. and obviously there are much more. important things than dessert. But it. was our one and only wedding and this.

cheesecake was specifically made for us. as a gift because it was my husband's. favorite dessert. We also can't just go. to a store and replace it. My husband. thinks we should let it go. His response. is basically quote that's just how that. side of the family is. I however feel. differently. I think people sometimes. continue acting like because. everyone around them accepts it as a. that's just how they are. So, would I be. the if I mailed his great uncle. an invoice for the cheesecake? I'm not.

trying to claim that he ruined our. wedding or put a dollar amount on the. sentimental value. I was thinking of. invoicing him for what a comparable. cheesecake would cost us since he. essentially took most of something that. was specially made for us. Would that be. justified? Or would sending an actual. invoice just make me an too? Do. it. Send the invoice. It's the. principle. I mean, honestly, if he's not. going to feel any guilt about This is.

the thing is like if they went to him. and he was like, "I'm so sorry. That was. such a big That was such a big mistake. I feel like an idiot. I just didn't. know." And by the way, this is their. wedding cake. Like, they keep just. referring to it as a special cheesecake. But it is your wedding cake. >> It's your wedding cake. This was you. were going to do the cut the cake. ceremony with it. And if you are at a. wedding and there is any type of cake on. a rolling table, maybe exercise extra. caution. My wedding cake was literally. on the dessert table with the cupcakes.

Mhm. Granted, it looked like a wedding. cake. Two-tier cake with a cake topper. No one touched it. I didn't even think I. didn't even think I would have to worry. about someone touching it. >> Yeah. But I did just see a video of. >> I think I just saw this video too. Two. older women. Oh, maybe a different one. >> I'm curious what you saw because I saw a. video of Martin Short talking about. accidentally cutting Selena Gomez's. wedding cake. >> Yes, I saw that, too. And he goes, I. just thought it was another one on the. dessert table for everyone else. And so.

I'm like, well, is this an old person. thing? Well, and maybe because the video. I saw was also two old women coming up. and taking the first slice of wedding. cake. What's happening? I don't know if. there used to be a tradition that that. has changed, but I would have imagined. that cutting the wedding cake was even. more of a tradition when they were. >> I feel like they used to bring it out. though. Yeah, >> it wasn't sitting there from the start. >> Maybe, but I don't know. I don't blame. the other guests who took a slice after. it already been cut. I think that if you.

see like an an already like halfeaten. cheesecake, you're like, "Oh, this is. just another one of the things.". >> Fair game. But. >> it's an option. an untouched cake of any. kind. Mm- Let's just not be the first to. cut into it. No. Bamboozling Lane. Um, I. would definitely address it with him and. ask him. I wouldn't necessarily send him. an invoice. I think it's funny. Hilarious. Hilarious. Sometimes I love a. little passive aggressive moment. Borderline aggressive. But I think what.

you should do is have your husband reach. out and say, "Hey, you know, we really. wanted this special cake cutting moment. Would you be okay buying us a new. cheesecake?" And if he says no, or if he. continues to double down on it, Yeah. >> then screw him. >> Ask this family friend to make you a new. cheesecake on your oneyear anniversary. >> and then make it special and do a little. cake cutting and. >> cheesecake night on your anniversary.

>> Yeah. OP was so reasonable about this. She multiple times was like, "I'm not. trying to say it ruined our wedding and. I'm not, you know, this this isn't the. worst thing in the world, but we were. excited about it. It was our wedding. cake and like. >> No, I would have crashed out a little. >> Yeah, I of course. >> I'd be upset. I think you're very valid. in your feelings and your reaction here. >> Especially if you're met with like, oh. well, it was yummy. Like, you. I'd. have been like, I wish you would have. choked on it. Like, what? Rub it in. Yeah. Oh, well, I wish I would have. known how yummy it was. I would have had.

a whole one. >> Yeah, got a couple bites. So, top comment on this one. It's got a. big red box, too. Why was it wheeled out. and just left there near the rest of the. desserts? This seems like really mixed. messaging to me. Like, this table has. cupcakes on it, which people are allowed. to eat and are just supposed to know. that, but this table is off limits. despite being in the same space, and. guests are also just supposed to know. that. No, I disagree. If you didn't want. people to eat it, maybe don't put it out.

on the dessert area and leave it. unattended for 15 minutes. Okay. But a. single cake on its own small platform. versus like a full like dessert table. Yeah. I would I would always assume like. that's the wedding cake. It's on a. smaller little I think we're. overthinkers though. We're like maybe a. little more aware. And you know what? That's fair. I've wanted to be less. aware lately. [laughter]. I've tried. Okay. And you know what? Even if we go with that, even if we're.

like, "This is an easy mistake." Then if. he had apologized, it'd be different. Totally. If he'd been like, "I'm so. sorry. I made a I made a stupid. mistake." But I also bet that OP wasn't. expecting it to go down like this. either. Like OP is like, "It was. supposed to be on a table and then. wheeled out after we had dinner like. kind of whatever the plan was." So it. feels like the staff and the wedding. planner kind of took it upon themselves. to arrange it this way. >> And they really kind of messed this up. But again, uncle's still a little bit of. a dick here for. >> Yeah. >> doubling down, especially.

>> And someone does respond, "I agree. Wedding planner could have figured out a. way to cover the cheesecake or put some. temporary place cards that say do not. touch. Seems like a failure on many. fronts. Thank god I'm never getting. married.". >> Oh jeez. [laughter]. >> Someone else says like, "God forbid. someone eat your cheesecake. Thank god. I'm not getting married.". >> I know. >> All right. I don't know if. >> someone else said you are definitely mad. at the wrong people. You could be mad at. the venue for wheeling it out too early. You could be mad at your wedding planner. because they are paid a sizable fee to. make sure this type of thing doesn't.

happen. At the minimum, she should have. assured there was a note on the table. saying that it was specifically for the. bride and the groom. You got a free. wedding from your parents. By your own. admission, it was wonderful that this. was the only blip. Let it go. Oh. Spend $200 and get another cheesecake. just for the two of you and enjoy life. This is a minor bump in the road. You. know what I mean? That's kind of fair, too. I guess what's my sticking point. here is just the uncle being such a dick. when he found out he this happened. >> I wish if he would have just said, "I'm.

so sorry.". >> Yeah, cool. Someone does say you would. be the His great uncle saw. dessert in the dessert area and ate it. Was he a little clueless? Sure, but he's. not the one that failed you. The staff. who had custody of the cake failed you. Invoice them. I agree with that. >> Wow. Maybe invoice the staff. Yeah. You. know what? Maybe I'm coming around. I. mean, that doesn't take away my feelings. about the uncle responding badly and. being an about it, but. ultimately, how hard is it to put a do. not touch sign up on the wedding cake? I.

feel like I have seen signs too around. desserts like for the bride and groom. Maybe. And by the way, if you're out. there, maybe this is a lesson. Maybe. maybe this is like a little thing to jot. down. Add it to your list of things that. can go wrong. Let's please avoid. If. we've got a cake, don't bring it out. because a lot of people now because. their cakes are so pretty do like to. display them on the dessert table. >> Of course, >> that's literally I didn't even. >> But that's the thing is I think. >> it just was there. >> I do think most Well, no, I'm not going.

to claim most. I think when I picture a. wedding, I do imagine the wedding cake. is displayed on its own little table and. that's like a wedding cake in my mind. >> But double down, add a sign, I guess. >> You got to spell things out for people. sometimes. Yeah, I do think now that I'm. like thinking about this more, did the. great uncle mess up? Yeah. Is this. annoying? Yeah. But if you're going to. invoice someone, it should be your event. staff because that was their literal job. that they got paid for. So, they should. reimburse you and it should at least be.

a conversation because they're going to. do future weddings and I think they. should know like that this was a big, you know, mistake and how hard is it to. get some signs that say don't touch. this. >> Yeah. A lot of people are doing. non-traditional desserts too for their. wedding. I've seen these people do like. ginormous cakes and then they add fruit. and powdered sugar and that's like their. cute little thing. >> Mhm. So, it's definitely a combo. And I. know a lot of people in the comments too. were like, "Ocay. Why should she invoice anyone?" It's. like, damn, they're really mad that her.

parents paid for the wedding. It's like. [laughter]. I just calm down. But I think it's still. like the principle of like this. cheesecake. Yes, we didn't pay for it. We were supposed to have an entire one. and you should at least pay to replace. it. Whatever our family friend Baker. wants to charge, you should reimburse us. so we can get another one and have that. experience. Like even if I built the. arch, if someone like took an axe to it, we'd be mad. Just because we just. because we didn't do the classic like. exchanging of money doesn't mean it.

doesn't have the same value. >> Whatever. Yeah. So, we do have an edit. and maybe this is where we whiplash it. I don't know. Oh god. Adding some. context since there seems to be a few. misconceptions in the comments. H my. husband's great uncle is in his late. 50s, early 60s and the cheesecake was. kept in a refrigerator/cooler in the. back until the wedding planner and venue. staff brought it out for the cake. cutting. It was brought out specifically. to be displayed and cut like a wedding. cake. I was busy being the bride and.

assumed the venue staff had it handled. The cheesecake was made by an elderly. family friend, and there's a very real. possibility that this was the last. cheesecake they will ever make. >> Oh my god. >> So, it was especially meaningful to us. >> They're on death's door. The invoice was. also more of a joke between my husband. and me. We're happily married and aren't. actually expecting his uncle to pay it. His mom and stepdad even agreed we. should send it and basically said that's. just how he is. I think some of the. reactions are based on assumptions that.

weren't part of the original situation. So hopefully this clears up some of the. missing context. The venue/planner. probably could have handled the. cheesecake situation better, and that's. fair criticism. And just to be clear, I'm not the only one who thinks his. behavior was inappropriate. My husband. and mother-in-law both agree with me. My. mother-in-law says, "Send the invoice. It's her uncle, but my husband doesn't. want to cause potential family drama.". >> Okay. Yeah. And they are meaning the.

invoice in a more light-hearted way than. other people are taking it. It's not. this like angry like you. It's pay. for my cake. It's like a bit lol. >> LOL. Like oh Christmas gift this year. Nah. Here's an invoice for our. cheesecake. >> Oh my god. Also the cheesecake. She's. like it's an elderly man. It's the last. cake he's going to make probably. Oh my. god. >> Yeah. Last cheesecake they will ever. make. Well, we just couldn't catch a break on. this theme.

>> Well, I think you know, ultimately you. think it's going to be lighthearted and. then ma'am, the special cheesecake man's. dying by the way ripped out from under. us. >> God, what the heck? Actually, you thought that the. cheesecake thing was going to be silly. No, it's irreplaceable. The maker of it, the hands dead soon. Oh my god. I don't. know. Insane. Um, OP, I'm gonna send you. a message because I'll tell you what, right now I've got a listener, Luden, if. you're out there. He makes the most.

amazing cheesecakes. Like the best. cheesecake I've ever had. So, whiplash. again. I know. He used to live in. Chicago and so the Chicago Live show, he. ended up bringing us a cheesecake to the. show and it was again the best. cheesecake I've ever had. >> Oh my god. >> I know. >> Make dreams happen, Morgan. Well, Luden. just moved out here. We're We're kind of. like neighbors now. So, I've been. meaning to meet up and like get him for. the holiday, >> get the cheesecake recipe and get a. cheesecake and I need you, Luden. Come.

help cheesecake us. But, I'll send I. don't know if I can mail a cheesecake. I. guess I could put it on dry ice. So, OP, I could try to mail you one of Luden's. cheesecake cuz it's literally the best. cheesecake you will ever have. >> Or I'll see if he'll send you his recipe. if he's willing to share because he was. going to send it to me. So, But um this is by far one of the best. cheesecakes I've ever had in my entire. life. >> Wow. >> I dreamed about it. >> Can we order from him or is this just a. thing he does? >> This is a hobby. He's like fully.

gainfully employed. >> Make a make a bakery out of your house. >> Make a ghost kitchen. >> Ghost kitchen for cheesecake. >> Yeah. >> Genuinely, it's like I can't even. describe how good it is. And it's just. got a little lemon, little vanilla. It's. just Well, we're back at a happy ending. here with that. >> I'm going to send him a message and be. like, "Hi, I talk about you. I need. cheesecake.". >> Um, but that's all I got. I just want to. give a special shout out to our girl, Martina. Martina's the one on Patreon.

that does all the tarot readings for us. >> Oh, we're due for a tarot reading very. soon. But Martina just got married, as. well as our other Patreon listener, Audrey. The two of them became such good. friends from Patreon that they just. attended each other's weddings and then. texted me a picture. >> That's so sweet. >> I know. Martina also came to um my. wedding and did tarot at my wedding, too. So, >> Patreon is quite literally a little. family. But. >> that's all I got for this episode. If.

you want more of this theme, we're over. on Patreon. Full episode there. We're. also on Spotify memberships now. So, that episode will be found there. There's also an exclusive Spotify only. episode dropping every month. And then. we have YouTube memberships as well. Same content you'd get on Patreon but on. YouTube. So. >> you can really choose what you want and. how you like to. >> consume. >> consume your content. >> and it's all there. And if you want to.

do it on Spotify and get all four bonus. episodes, you can. And then just go on. Patreon and be a part of the free. membership to still have the chats and. more of the. >> the community vibes. >> Yeah, >> but you can really have your cake and. eat it too. You can have your. cheesecake. >> I was going to say. >> and eat it, too. >> But uh yeah, we're going to put together. a carrot theme soon. I've seen your. comments about the carrot. >> Really? Oh my god, I need to get on the. Patreon. >> Am I the carrot? [laughter] Am I the. carrot? But okay, guys. Until next time.

Bye. >> bye. I can see you. [music] I can see you.