Can't Think Straight! Ft. Hayley Kiyoko || LGBTQ+ Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes Podcast

I'm so excited to have you today. >> I'm so excited to be here. So nice to. meet you finally. >> Haley Kiyoko in the house. You have. >> crowd goes wild there. We'll put sound. effects in for you. >> Okay, great. Great. >> You'll feel the love. >> Yeah. >> You have such a crazy story. >> I feel like the lore like do you get. told you're like gosh your lore is so. good. >> Um no, but thank you so much. >> Oh, really? Well, I mean, people call me. like an not an underdog, but like I do. have an I guess I do have an interesting. lore. Like, I've been around for a.

while. >> Disney Star. Lemonade Mouth. >> I don't call myself a Disney star. That's so sweet of you. >> Lemonade Mouth. Jenna was like, great. movie. [laughter]. >> It's so good. Wizards of Waverly Place. Then you ended up going on tour with. Taylor Swift. >> Well, I performed with her, but not but. yeah, that was so epic. >> I mean, it's Swift. Um, and then you are. just this amazing successful music. artist turned author now director.

>> Listen, we got to catch them all. [laughter]. We're trying over here. >> I [clears throat] love it. I absolutely. love it. I'm so excited you're joining. me on this episode. It's Pride Month and. your movie Girls Like Girls really just. encapsulates so many I feel like real. struggles that people go through. and I. watched it last night and this morning. and I'm like, "Oh my god, it's so good.". >> Thank you. >> And it's so cute and relatable and it. just it's something that I think so many. people can relate to of like finding.

yourself and dealing with, you know, adversity and struggles and it's just. it's such a good movie. >> Thank you. I like I I've been saying. like even though this movie is called. Girls Like Girls and it does capture. this moment in time where I fell in love. with this girl, you know, back in high. school, it is such a relatable story. because whether you're queer or not, everyone has had that moment or that one. person where they had to confront them. to be like, "Do you like me or not? Is.

this going somewhere or not? Are we do. we have a future?" Like. >> every single person has that one person. And when you go see this movie, it. unlocks that for sure. >> I could feel the tension. Yeah. I. literally. >> You're like, "Oh, that reminds me of. that one person who I've never." And I'm. like, I put myself right back in those. shoes and I go, "Oh my god." I was like, "I do not miss high school.". >> Yeah. And when you're 16, 17 falling in. love, it's feels like life or death. It. does. So, you know, it was important to. me with my directorial debut to like.

approach it with a mature lens. It's. like they are like our lead. She was 18. when we shot this. >> But it has this mature lens because they. think they're like 35. >> They think like when you meet your crush. you're like this is the person I'm. getting married to. >> Yeah. No, that was me. I was 16 going on. 40 and it was just like you feel you do. feel like it's life or death and the. weight of the world and everything's on. you. >> And I mean her struggles too um Coley. struggles just to being like I hate. myself and I'm like oh my god been there. done that too. like it's just it's you.

capture so much and you really do feel. it. It's it's an amazing movie. >> I'm so excited for people to see it. >> It's going to be so good. June 19th, you. guys, so put it on your list already. >> Opening weekend is vital for the gays, the allies, everyone to show up in. theaters. This has been a 10-year. journey, which is. >> wild. It is. I don't recommend putting. in [laughter]. 10 years of energy into something. because the it's so intense. It's like.

it feels like a lot of pressure, but. it's also so exciting for my community. and we've been needing a story like this. for so long. >> Did you know that you wanted to make it. a movie when you put the song out. initially? >> Not initially. When we released the. music video and I saw the comments and. people being like, "This needs to be a. feature film." I was like, "Oh my gosh, I've never gotten to buy a ticket and I. go to a theater and get to see a movie. like this." Like, "Oh my gosh, we do. need this into a movie." And then you. did the book first.

>> And then then I did the book because the. movie thing wasn't panning out. It was. kind of like my hail mary of like, well, if I die tomorrow, at least the story. will exist. >> and live on. And then that became a. number one New York Times bestseller, which then catapulted. We're skipping a. lot of trauma, you guys. We're. [laughter] we're doing the victory lap. right now. But then that led to the. green light of the film in end of 2023, shot the movie in 2024. Um, and here we are in 2026.

>> Here we are. It's incredible. I, um, read your story graph reviews for the. book, too. >> Oh, >> and it's so good. Thanks. >> People are just blown away. They're. like, Haley can write. Like, okay. And. so, if you're a reader, too, like start. with the book, then go see the movie. >> I'm really proud of the book. Really. good. >> Go read the book. Go see the movie. They're both And listen, now I. understand like, you know, you read the. book Twilight, you go see the movie, it's a different experience. They're, you know, Girls Like Girls the Book and. the movie are like sisters, but you.

know, you can't a book is a book and a. movie is a movie. And so the movie is. the most authentic version of this. story, but you know, like in a book you. can talk about someone's jacket for. three pages and then in a movie it's. like a glance. >> Yeah. >> And so, uh, what's been unique about. this universe is I've been able to be a. part of every step of every way. And. it's been like challenging for me to. have to almost like taught myself every. time where it's like how do I tell this. story with a different perspective. And.

I think because this journey has been 10. years long, I've changed. You know, when. I released Girls Like Girls in 2015, I. wasn't confident in [clears throat] who. I was. I wasn't comfortable with who I. was. And now I I'm here on stage waving. a rainbow flag. And so the story also. evolves. And even from the book. experience seeing the movie, uh, my fans. will see that evolution as well. >> I love it. Well, let's get into these. stories. I know you're going to have. some good takes on them. >> I'm excited. [laughter]. >> Let's dive in.

>> So curious. [music]. This episode of Two Out Takes is. presented by Credit Karma. You're on. your phone constantly. Shouldn't those. bills count towards your credit? With. Credit Spark by Inu Credit Karma, they. do. Build credit history using payments. like phone bills or utilities. No debt, totally free, and missed payments aren't.

recorded. Not all lenders use TransUnion. credit reports or scores impacted by. Credit Spark. But if you're at or below. 660 and looking to build credit history, download Credit Karma today and get the. credit you deserve. Up first for us here. This is coming. from r/true off my chest. A subreddit. where people just go and share. So it's. titled I've 29 male never questioned my. sexuality until I met this coworker. >> I don't really know who to talk to about.

this. So I guess I'm asking Reddit. I 29. male have been working with my coworker. 32 male for about 7 months now. Let's. call him John. We work as junior chefs. in a commercial kitchen. The kitchen. environment is constant pressure and. extremely fast-paced. That means that. most of the time you can avoid getting. heated with your teammates, and John and. I have definitely fought a few times. However, we eventually get over it at. the end of every service by having. drinks with the whole team before. heading home. Since I don't have my own.

vehicle and I use public transport, John. sometimes offers me a ride. >> Cute. He drops me off at the end of my. street near my house because he heads. the same route just a little bit further. out. During the time we spend together. at work and in his car, we've really. gotten to know each other. He went. through a divorce last August and was. completely heartbroken. Though he still. gets to see his child, so that keeps him. going. As we opened up about our lives, we got so close that our teammates.

started calling us best buddies. M. >> Now, I want to be clear and say that. I've never been attracted to guys ever. I've only ever had girlfriends, and I. assume John is the same. We banter all. the time, and we'll playfully caress. each other. You know, the typical. straight guys acting gay thing. But. lately, I feel like I just love being. around him. It's hard to admit, but I've. started liking his touch and the way he. smiles at me. I actually look forward to. the shifts where we work together. I.

don't know if I'm overthinking, but. whenever we're bantering, it takes him a. long time to break eye contact when he's. smiling. >> That's a sign. >> It's like we talk [ __ ] laugh, and then. just pause in time staring at each. other. It's been like this for a while. Two nights ago, I was on my way home. with him because he had offered me a. ride again. We talked about how shitty. the service was that night. The silence. in the car felt different when he. dropped me off. He didn't just pull away. like usual. He kept the engine running.

and just looked at me for a second that. felt too long. That same lingering smile. on his face. I reached for the door. handle, but my heart was pounding so. loud I was sure he could hear it. We. both just sat there for a moment before. we caught each other's eyes and let out. this really forced, awkward laugh. We. mumbled a quick, "See you tomorrow," and. I got out of the car. Now I'm laying in. bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if. I'm losing my mind or if that. awkwardness was actually him feeling the. exact same pull that I am. Again, I've.

never been attracted to men before, and. I don't know what's happening. I'm. confused and scared at the same time. >> You've got a lovely reading voice. I. just felt like I was about to like take. a [laughter] rest listening to this. beautiful gay story. >> That's why I provide blankets. Oh, they. have [laughter] advice. >> But like I you can almost put yourself. in his shoes where you're like. >> it's feeling very girls like girl girls. like girls coded. >> Yep. >> It's sounding homosexual. It's sounding.

a little gay. The thing is is the other. guy John could be also confused as well. And maybe it's tough cuz like sometimes. you're like, "Oh, is John just lonely. and needing connection?" and they have. this like best buddy connection, but on. the other side of the coin, he could. totally be feeling the same way as the. other guy. It's sounding gay to me. I've. done lots of lingering in cars, the eye. contact, the like like when people don't.

really know what to say. Like I feel. like people who are comfortable with. their sexuality are very like. >> I guess like comfortable. I guess when I. look back at like my moments in high. school and um in my early 20s when girls. were, you know, had never dated a girl, but they're hanging out with me and I'm. like, do they like me or not? Normally. the straight ones are very they're. there's not the awkward silences, the. awkward lingers, the touch of the hand, like they're normally pretty confident. in who they are. And the ones that are a.

little confused are the ones that were. giving me that space. So that's given me. a little gay. Mhm. Well, especially the. caressing. When he said that, I was kind. of like, wait, >> that's not normal. >> I was like, I don't I don't know if. that's straight guys. >> I'm not caressing my best friend. >> and I'm gay. [laughter] So, >> if I'm caressing you, there's a reason. for that. >> There's a reason. There's a reason. you're touching and you're seeking out. that touch. And then he's like, I kind. of like the touching. It's like. >> that's your body's telling you.

>> what your mind maybe isn't. >> But isn't that crazy? like this guy is. 29 years old, you know, he's not. >> 15. And when I was getting Girls at. Girls Made, like people would be like, "Oh, like do we need a story like this?". And I was like, "What do you mean?" Like. people are in their 30s and 40s and. still figuring out who they love and who. they are and who they're becoming. And. it's like representation where you can. go, you know, this guy might go see a. movie and or go see girls like girls and. be like, "Oh my gosh, he's he's being a.

Sonia on me." You know, like it unlocks. these it identifies and validates these. feelings and it just goes back to like. representation because. >> when you've never been through. something, you don't know until you see. something or you meet someone who's also. experienced the same thing. I think. that's something that's coming up quite. a bit on Reddit, especially right now, is people that have gotten married and. now they're like, you know, I I waited. to have sex until marriage. I thought.

that my feelings and these thoughts. would would kind of go away with that. >> and now that I'm married and I've been. with my wife for 3 years, like. >> I'm realizing this is wrong. But like I. was so ashamed and I I didn't know what. this meant. And so. >> I think I'm on board with you like. having a movie where it's like no, it's. not shameful to be yourself. >> Yeah. And it's okay to be confused and. wanting to explore and like. >> obviously you don't want to like hurt. people, you know, at someone else's. expense. But I think that like, you.

know, if this chef guy watched a movie. like Girls Like Girls and literally was. like, "Oh, that is John." Then like he'd. be like, "Oh, okay. I know what's going. on." Or maybe he'll watch and be like, "Oh, that's not what we do." Okay, cool. [laughter]. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. You know, >> the top comment on this one basically. says, quote, "We banter all the time and. playfully caress each other." You know, the typical straight guys acting gay. thing. They're quoting OP and they go, "Yeah, no, [laughter] that's not. typical.

>> Not love that for him." And I hope he. goes for it. >> Yeah. A lot of people are like. >> rooting him on. >> a lot. Yes. A lot. >> What can happen? It again goes back to. what we were talking about the universal. things like all he has to do is ask John. hey do you have feelings for do you feel. what I feel like. >> and but that's terrifying for people. >> How do you go about that? Because you. are engaged to Becca. Becca famously on. the Bachelor franchise and it was kind. of like you talk about it how like you.

met at your release party and like you. kind of were immediately interested but. >> how do you gauge someone who hasn't been. clearly out or how do you proceed with. that. >> with Becca was very different because. I'm actually I present confident but I'm. actually very shy. Okay. >> And the only reason why I'm engaged is. because Becca made the first move. [laughter]. So, like with Becca, it was very. different because we had a connection. She didn't know we had a connection, but. I knew we had a connection. And then. Becca actually made the first move.

>> So, it became crystal clear, >> oh, okay, we both feel the same way. >> Okay. >> But before. era and life, it would be confusing. And. I'd go on dates or I not even dates, I. just like meet someone and hit it off. And then I I would have to do this whole. like does do they like me or not? And. like you're kind of testing the waters. and get in and caressing a little more. and bantering, [laughter]. you know, all this stuff to the point.

where then you have to be like, "Hey, do. you like me? Hey, you know, are you. going to kiss me? Like where we at?" And. it's funny, one of the scenes in Girls. Like Girls is actually ver you watched. it last night is from when she goes to. the girl's house to get her jacket. >> Yeah. And she's like, "Are you going to, you know, do you like me or not?" And. that was a real scene that I lived where. I went to go get this this jacket that I. left at this girl's house and I was. like, "Are you going to kiss me or. what?" And she just like stared at me. because you you get to this point where.

you're like, "I have to use my words.". Like the gazing is not the gazing. is not enough. [laughter]. >> It's not enough. >> No. >> So, but it's really great when you meet. someone who is comfortable with who they. are. And like when I met Becca, she was. like, "I haven't been with girls before, but I can't deny this connection that we. have, so we need to explore this." And. I'm really grateful for that. And. obviously, it worked out. >> Yeah, absolutely. [laughter] I know. How. long have you guys been together now? Total.

>> years. Oh my gosh, I love it. >> Years this year. >> That's so exciting. So exciting. >> Something you guys talk about that I. love is you say that you weren't secret, you were just private. >> Yes. And I think there's a big. distinction between that. >> and this next story. >> is definitely secret, not just private. >> Okay, let's let's see if this triggers. me. >> So, [laughter] it might it really might. So, this is coming from our own two hot.

takes subreddit. It's titled, "Am I the. [ __ ] I, 22 female, broke up with my. girlfriend, 21 female, of 7 years for. staying silent." I, 22 female, had the. shittiest breakup I could ever go. through. I broke up with my girlfriend. of 7 years. Even though she was in the. closet, I respected her decision to stay. in. I truly didn't want to rush her out. or put pressure onto her for coming out. The only people who knew were a select. group of close friends, and she wasn't.

comfortable being together/ looking like. a couple in public, so she would often. introduce me as her best friend to other. people and would always say that she's. single. This made me uncomfortable, but. I didn't think to reach out to her about. it because it might put pressure on her. to then come out. >> But things took a different turn when. she started to hang out with this all. boys friend group this year in college. She would often invite me to hang out. with them. The group of boys would. openly hit on her and she would be.

eating it up while I was in the room. with them. She didn't reciprocate it, but she didn't shut it down either. I. tried to communicate to her how this. bothered me, but she would still dismiss. it, saying that I'm overreacting and. that it's just boys being boys. Things took a bad turn when she. accidentally dropped that I'm a lesbian, and the entire group proceeded to make. jokes about my sexuality. >> At that point, I was too shocked to. speak because they did not give any.

signs that they were homophobic up until. this point. Maybe it's because I'm not. conventionally attractive as her, so. that's why they said what they said. But. even then, she didn't even defend me and. ended up just staying silent. It took. her 3 days to reach out to me while I. was literally trying to speak to her. about the situation. We got into a huge. fight over this and I couldn't take it. and I broke up with her. She got upset. with me because quote she wasn't the one. to say all that crap, but I told her.

that her silence was enough and I broke. up with her. She cursed me out, told me. why it was a chore to be with me and. blocked me everywhere. It took a while. to open up to our friends, and most have. sided with me, but some said I should. have been more understanding of her and. that she wasn't the only one truly at. fault and it was just one mistake. She. also did mention that it was a mistake. that she stayed quiet, but we'll learn. her lesson now. But I don't want to. listen to her, and I just decided to.

break it off. This made me overthink. And now I don't know. Did I throw away a. 7-year relationship over one mistake? Am. I the [ __ ]. >> No. [laughter]. >> No. >> That brings up a lot of feelings. >> Oh, this would send me. >> tell take you down memory lane a. [laughter] little bit. I one time was in. a relationship in secret. Okay, not. private, in secret. >> And my girlfriend. took me on a date with a man. She went.

on a date with a man and brought me as. the third wheel. >> Stop. >> That crosses a line. And so I think like. listen, you might fall in love with. someone. >> and they might be on a different. timeline and that's okay and that might. mean that your timelines just don't work. out. I think it's I think it's fair that. this person decided, you know, enough is. enough. I I was okay with being, you.

know, in secret to a degree for seven. years is a very long time. And that doesn't mean that the other. girl needs to be comfortable. It just. means like in those scenarios like there. could have been situations of like, "Hey, don't say that." Like that's she's. my friend. I love her. Like like I think. it crossed a line in many different. ways, >> you know. And with with Beck and I's. relationship again, we weren't in. secret. We were just in private. But.

like if you know we were out like she. would still hold my hand or like you. know if someone said something to me she. would definitely speak up for me. You. know what I mean? Like it's just very. different. She's not taking me on dates. with other people. >> No. [gasps]. >> You know like there's like there's crazy. >> that is like not love in my opinion. And. I think it's it's like okay to be in a. relationship someone and be like I'm. ready to be out. They're not ready to be. out. you do that relationship for a. while and then there might be a point.

where you're you can't wait anymore and. that doesn't mean that you don't love. them. It doesn't mean that you're. putting pressure you don't want to put. pressure on them but like the reality is. you guys are on two different timelines. and maybe that person will be ready in 5. years and if you're not if you don't. want to wait 5 years like that doesn't. make you an [ __ ]. >> No, you know act with love and be like. listen I don't want to rush you. You're. on your own journey and I'm going to. respect that and I'm also on my own. journey. So, I think it's it's a very. like. >> it's a fine line of like also respecting.

yourself. And I think growing up in the. closet as a queer person for myself and. my experience, I did unfortunately get. in those situations all the time where I. didn't respect myself and I didn't go, wait a second, this is not fair to me. regardless of what you're navigating and. where you're at. Like, this is actually. not kind. 21 is still young. >> So young. And that's okay though. >> It is okay. And I think you know based.

on what I know about your experience. like you came out initially to your. parents in like sixth grade, right? >> I came out like so many different times. >> Yeah. So it's like you kind of knew like. more like younger. >> Yeah. I knew I was like gay since I was. like seven. I was like I am different. Yeah. >> 100%. >> And so I'm like okay maybe she needs. more time and that's again totally fine. and I'm so with you. But like the bare. minimum is to not let other people [ __ ]. on me. >> and also or bully. [laughter] Yeah. Like. your girlfriend,

>> but also in the same breath, >> they're saying those things about you. because you are dating this person. >> Yeah. >> They just don't know. >> and those are the people you want to be. friends with. >> Yeah. It's not cool. I think she needs. to feel confident in her decision and. also know that that person that her. ex-girlfriend is not is is maybe not a. bad person, but she's going through. stuff and she's not able to be a good. partner or friend to her. And like I. think that that's fair to acknowledge,

>> you know, and like in my movie Girls. Like Girls, with Sonia, like her she. says hurtful things. She's navigating. something that she has never experienced. before. And so Coley becomes the victim. of her inexperience. But that also. there's a fine line of being a bad. person and just a person who's never. experienced this before and then be able. to acknowledge that and take. accountability for those actions and try. to be better. >> Yeah. >> You know, like I think there's a fine.

line. >> I know. I'm like sitting with everything. you said. I'm like there's just so much. to unpack here and. totally fine where she's at, but like. you're not there. like you're out. >> She's not the one. >> She's not the one. >> And maybe she'll get to a place where. she loves herself cuz it's really it. comes down to selflove. You know, she. this girl doesn't love herself enough to. therefore turn on the person that she. does love cuz she turns on herself. >> Yeah, >> that's it. >> I know it's a tough position to be in,

especially like depending on where you. are. >> I mean, social pressures. I grew up in. Los Angeles, California, and people live. in way less liberal areas than I do, and. I still had such a hard time navigating. my querness because of what people would. think, what people will say. It's like. you you're just raised to care about. what people think of you. And it's. really hard to break through that, you. know? You have to put a lot of energy.

into that to to get through. Well, something you said in an interview that. I watched too, you're like cuz I think. they were you were talking about like. your wedding and planning and getting. engaged and all these things. It's like. you didn't even like really think about. >> never thought it was going to Yeah. >> Because until 2015 it wasn't even legal. And like I remember being in college and. being able to go and vote towards that. And it's just it's crazy that like. >> even in today's times like that was 10. years ago, 11 years ago. It's just like. so there's a lot of change that needs to.

happen still, >> but you hope that she gets to a place. where she can be comfortable being. herself and. >> not damage amazing relationships because. of it. >> Yeah. And again, not to sound like a. broken record, but it goes back to. representation, right? like if she were. to see herself reflected on screen or. her experience reflected on screen, you. know, she'd be like, "Oh, people support. gay people." Like, maybe I don't have to.

be so hard on myself and hard on the. people that I love. Maybe I will be. okay. It's a defense mechanism, right? Like when you're scared, when you're. fearful, you aren't kind to yourself and. to others. And it just is like a ripple. effect. Absolutely. And 21 trying to fit. in, trying to fly under the radar. >> Yeah. >> It's that crowd mentality, but again, like this is your partner of seven. years, and she's giving you so much. grace and letting you sort things on.

your own timeline. So, >> I think she did the right thing. Wish. >> I think so, too. Top comment. I would. not let anyone speak that way about my. partner. I don't care how many friends I. lose. >> Yeah, that's right. That's the energy. >> Yeah. Next comment down two says, "I. wouldn't let anyone rag on my bestie or. my partner." [laughter]. >> I know there's there is a lot to unpack. with that person. >> Like even if that's your friend, you're. going to like these are just some random. dudes you became friends with this year. in college versus your friend that.

you've been friends with for. >> a decade. >> Mhm. Yeah. But how it's also like how. can you have expectations that she's. going to stand up for someone else when. she can't even stand up for herself? Like if her the bar is so low for. herself, why would she do that for other. people? And that's that's a lot of this. world. >> OP does respond to the person that says, "I wouldn't let anyone speak to my. partner that way." And she says, "I've. actually defended her behavior so much. to my other friends, saying, "I just.

didn't want to put pressure on her and. gave her time to come to terms with her. sexuality. Who knew a group of boys were. enough for her to throw me away like. that?". >> Mhm. just like. >> we send you hugs. >> Yeah, >> things are going to get better. >> I know. I think they will. And again, this is in the Two Hot Takes subreddit, so this is likely one of our listeners. >> Hopefully they they hear your thoughts. on it. And. >> yeah, >> just makes them feel a little more. reassured. >> And go see girls like girls with a bunch. of strangers and know that there's a.

huge community out there that feel the. way you feel and have your back. And I. think you should be proud of what you. did. Like I think she really chose. herself in this moment and I think that. that's important to value yourself and. and hold the standard high. So we're. proud of you. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. >> This episode is brought to you by. Skiims. I'm off to Europe for a little. hot girl summer and I want to look and. feel my best and that is where Skiims. comes in. Whether it's the cotton. pieces, my shapewear, my bodysuits, I.

know I'm going to look good and feel my. best thanks to all of my Skiims. intimates. Let's talk about the cotton. I've got my scoop bralette and my. thongs. I'm going to walk around. I'm. going to be hot and I'm not going to. feel gross. I'm not going to have. painful underwire digging into me and. still be supported. Then I've got my. shapewear, especially my bodysuits. They. go with everything. They make me feel. confident, empowered, comfortable still, cuz comfort is key when you're out and. having fun. And then I've got my.

loungewear for any downtime. I mean, why. put up with undergarments that don't fit. properly any longer? Not with Skiims. You can tackle anything and feel your. best with Skiims Intimates. Shop. everyday cotton and all of my favorite. bras and underwear at skims.com. After. you place your order, be sure to let. them know we sent you. Select podcast in. the survey and be sure to select our. show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. Okay, this next one for us, this is. coming from Am I the [ __ ] It's. titled Am I the [ __ ] for telling my.

father we'll catch the next one when he. invited me to his wedding. He's been. married four times now, and this wedding. will be his fifth in the span of 30. years. I don't know how he has such a. high turnover rate, but I'm guessing. it's to do with him being both rich and. a raging narcissist. He invited me to. get coffee and introduced me to his new. fiance. I knew he was going to do this. because two of my brothers, there are. seven of us total, none have the same. mom, said that they had just gone coffee. with dad and met the fiance. Then they.

were invited to the wedding and both had. been given a plus one for their. girlfriends of 8 and 10 months. respectively. Dad told me to bring my. partner when I came for coffee and I. brought my trans boyfriend along. We. have been together for 3 years. The. fiance seemed nice wanting to know about. me and my boyfriend and asking questions. that sounded like she actually gave a. [ __ ] Mhm. >> Dad gets all the details of the. engagement and wedding out of the way. and then asks me, only me, if I'll be.

there. I notice that he was talking to. just me, not my boyfriend. So, I say, "We will check if we're free.". >> Nice. >> Dad replies that quote, "This is family. only.". >> I reply, "I just assumed, seeing as how. the other siblings got a plus one." Dad. says, "That's different. Are you. coming?" I say, "We'll catch the next. one." Dad's fiance becomes visibly upset. and they leave. Dad texts me after that.

If I can be civil on the day, then I can. still come alone. I felt like I had to. stick up for my boyfriend because this. was definitely due to him being. transgender. And he thanked me at the. time, but told me that I should probably. still go. But after reporting back to my. siblings to say what happened, I got. mixed responses. The overall opinion was. that while I absolutely should stick up. for my boyfriend, this was some hill to. die on. And I managed to catch the. actually nice fiance in the crossfire.

and upset dad, too. Info: I am a woman. My boyfriend is trans, female to male. Despite both of us being straight, dad. thinks of us as lesbians due to my. boyfriend's biology. One of me and my. siblings, three were in the wedlock and. the other four, including me, were. extrammarital affairs. The fiance knows. she's number five, and dad gives the. same story about how he was tricked into. marrying gold diggers by accident and. didn't know until it was too late. And.

the affairs all happened as the. relationships were breaking down. So, am. I the [ __ ]. >> No. >> No, [laughter] no, >> no, no, no, no, no. Honey, you are not. the [ __ ]. >> I am so. >> I'm very proud. I like. >> it's so I don't know why it's so hard, but it's so hard to communicate with. parents that don't also know how to. communicate. >> Yeah. >> And like we're just so wired to please.

them. >> Good for her. Like even in that. conversation of being like we will like. talk about boundaries like. >> we come as a unit or I don't come. >> It's not fair the I think if all the. siblings weren't allowed to bring their. partners. >> Yeah. >> Okay. But if all the siblings are. allowed to bring their partners but. she's not allowed to bring her partner. then that's homophobic. And I think she has every right to use.

this as a boundary of like, hey, you. have to accept me for who I am. Um, otherwise like I'm not showing up for. your fifth wedding. >> Oh, [laughter]. that's also like the best response. We'll catch the next one. >> Oh my gosh. Good for her. >> Just clocked him. >> I mean, that takes a lot of therapy and. like, you know, unpacking. >> I know. to get there. >> I wish I was that quick, too. Just like.

we'll catch the next one. >> Like, oh my god, that was so cool. >> I need to take I've been saying, >> yes, I'm like, I want to take improv. classes to get a little quicker. [laughter]. >> I'm like, I need life. >> just in life. I'm like just having that. like response like that because it is. true. And there's there's such a bigger. picture here about does your dad support. you? Is he even worth having in your. life? Because by him saying, oh yeah, no, your your boyfriend can't come. only. family. He's essentially not respecting. your relationship, not respecting you.

>> Mhm. >> What does life look like? What happens. if you and your boyfriend get married? >> Is he going to come to the wedding? Like, what does that look like for your. life? So, if you're not, you know, setting those boundaries now and. standing your ground now. >> Mhm. >> I mean, what at what point do you. >> like you give him an inch, he's going to. take a mile. >> and it's just not worth it? and your. partner being like, "You should go. I. admire that." Like that I can put myself. in like those hurt shoes and.

>> that's amazing they're saying that, but. like I think like you're making the. right call. >> Yeah. And I I also think there's. probably a lot of history prior to this. response to her dad. Like you know there. probably were times where like it was. like you know what I will make you happy. or I will do this. I will sacrifice. myself for X. But like there comes a. point where this is your life and like. the people in your life that love you. should value your decisions in life. The.

people that you love, they should. respect you and it shouldn't be. conditional. And so many people I think. unfortunately it's extremely relatable. to grow up in a household where love is. conditional. even when you don't even realize it. those like hidden expectations and if. you don't meet them then it's like. >> like this is who you have to be and it's. like well you chose to have me so why do. I owe you anything and that I don't. think that that's like rude. I think. there's a loving way to be like hey you.

should be proud of who I am. I I I speak. up for myself. I respect myself. I love. myself and these are the things I want. in life. And it's so scary for people to. navigate that. It's because they're just. cowards. >> I mean, h it's it's so nuts. And like. >> to be this open and honest with yourself. and be able to set boundaries to get. there. >> Oh my god. Like I there's no mention of.

how old a writer is, but I'm like I'm 32. and like I can still have a hard time. setting boundaries with my mom. And I'm. like. >> to do it in this scale. >> It was loving. It was respectful. It was. I mean it I'm very impressed with her. >> I know. I know. And the comments are. too. >> You go girl. >> Comments are too. Top comment has 21,000. up votes. Not the [ __ ] You stood up. for your boyfriend. As unfortunate as it. is that the fiance was caught in the.

crossfire. She didn't oppose her soon to. be husband's view. >> Nope. >> So. >> silence says a lot. >> Uh-huh. She easily could have taken that. moment to be like, "Honey, no, no, no.". >> Yeah. And then that would have changed. his mind. It's like people go, "Oh, my. voice doesn't matter." Your like one. voice does matter because you could show. someone, "Hey, actually, we don't. condone this behavior.". >> Yeah. >> And we need to like rethink this. >> It could really shift the tide. >> Yeah. >> Next top comment, not the [ __ ] I.

think it was best that you did this in. the situation, especially with the way. your dad is. It's a shame that his. fianceé may got her feelings hurt, but. she'll have bigger problems to worry. about in a few months when she's sorting. through a divorce. I'm I'm sorry that your dad can't be. more accepting. >> Yeah. And unfortunately, that's the. reality. Like whether you're queer or. like whatever your background is, like. it is I think parental relationships are. really challenging and really hard to. navigate because you you do want peace.

>> But where does peace come if you don't. have peace with yourself and this person. doesn't respect you or show love? They. say they love you, but they don't show. love. And that's important. >> Yeah. Or there's like conditions to it. As you said, it's just like if there's. all these conditions and strings. attached, it's like. >> that's not how it's supposed to be. No. >> Should just be unconditional. >> Yeah. >> Okay. I have one last one for you here. This one is coming from our/ actual. lesbians. It's titled procons list. I've.

been with my girlfriend for 3 years next. week and it's come to the point where. I'm having to make pro and con list. about her. >> Oh, >> I love her, but some things are getting. harder to ignore and it's tearing me. apart inside trying to decide if I want. to break up. >> I think the only thing keeping me around. is my love for her. But can love always. be enough? And then this person shares a. picture of their pro and con list.

>> The con list is very long. Have you guys. not seen the friends episode with Ross. and Rachel? >> Oh my god. >> You don't make a pro and con list. >> No. Or. >> or if you do, you burn it. >> Along came Paulie. I just rewatched that. the other day. >> I haven't seen that in so long. Is there. a pro and con list? >> He does that like risk analysis. software. Okay. >> And compares Paulie, who's kind of this. risky out there woman, to his wife that. cheated on him on their honeymoon. And. Paulie finds it. >> Oh, no. >> It was bad. >> It's not good.

>> The pro list. Okay. >> Okay. >> I love her. Funny. Helps when asked. Baseball, our kids, financially stable, pays attention to little things I say. Con, not Facebook friends. Won't let. [laughter]. >> I don't even know if I'm Facebook. friends with I don't even be on. Facebook. I don't even know. I don't. think that counts. >> Won't let me tag her in pictures. >> No handholding. Mhm.

>> No compliments. >> What? >> No cuddling. >> No. >> Can be rude. >> This sounds like a coworker. [laughter]. >> Um, stone top. Vanilla sex. Haven't met. the fam. >> Okay, this is not good. They should. probably break up. >> Doesn't share feelings. >> Helps when asked, but acts like it's. inconvenient. Expects me to keep house and my car. clean, but hers is a mess. said she. doesn't find me attractive anymore.

>> Expects me to tell her my every move but. can't do the same in return. Acts like. she doesn't care about things in my. life. Have said I need affection, but I. still don't get it. Pros, cons? >> I think that uh it's not working out for. them. >> No, >> I think if the pros list was longer, I think if they were Yeah. know like you. guys it's literally like. >> I think if if I think that the pro list.

was way longer and there was only like a. handful of cons. would suggest couples. therapy and be like you know what give. this person a chance you love them let. them know like these are the things that. are bothering then they might have some. things that are also bothering them. >> and like try to work through it but it. is so confor. >> that. my suggestion would be that maybe that. person is not the person for them and. that's okay like I think you can love. somebody and be like no thank you.

>> no handholding no compliment No. cuddling. >> This is This is Yeah. >> What do you have? >> Yeah. Like. >> eye contact. >> Eye contact. That's it. That's all I'm. getting. Eye contact. And maybe they. share a meal every now and again. >> Yeah. It's I think you deserve more. And. it sounds like the other person is. equally as unhappy. if they're telling you that they're not. attracted to you. that like I'm sorry. but that's like again if that was the. only con that could be worked on through.

couples therapy and conversation. >> Yeah. >> You know sometimes sometimes things. aren't perfect but that is feeling. >> Yeah. >> It's pretty bad. I think it seems like. to me that this person doesn't want to. be with our writer anymore but is just. >> and showing it through action but. they're not getting the hint. >> that it's like please break up with me. Let me be horrible. I don't want. confrontational. >> That's what I'm getting because. otherwise it's like if this is your. whole relationship. I mean, there's not.

much there. Like I can't imagine like. not having good sex, not having that. intimacy, but even just like the simple. things like having your partner come. home and like I don't know, you made. them a meal or you got your hair done. It's like, "Oh, you look so good today.". >> No compliment really strict. >> I'm I need a compliment. >> I need compliments. >> I need to feel the love. >> You look great, by the way. Thank you. You do. >> you do something different with your. hair? >> No. >> No. Looks so good. >> No. [laughter].

[gasps]. >> The top comment on this one. I'm not. going to lie to you. With the first. three cons, I fully thought you were. joking. But continuing to read on, there is some. pretty big double standards on your con. list. I obviously don't know them, but. it seems like you give and they just. take. >> Mhm. Yeah. Someone responds, "To be. honest, no handholding is a deal. breakaker.". >> Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to. judge people who don't like handholding, but if you're not going to do. handholding that they they should get a. lot of extra stuff.

>> Yeah. I remember dating this person in. college and I like went to hold their. hand at a bar and I literally got like. swatted away. O. >> and I was like, "Who who is around that. you're trying to like not [laughter] let. them see? Like, what is going on?". >> And I'm just like, I'm just getting bad. vibes from this one. You should feel. proud to have the person, you know, by. your hand or, you know, in your hand. >> Yeah. >> And like growing up, unfortunately, I. was with a lot of people where I had to.

like handhold under the table or like. >> the quick pinky touch, >> you know? You'll see a lot of those in. girls at Girls. [laughter]. [gasps]. But um but now I can openly just like. hold hands. >> Yeah. And that like finding that love, that genuine reciprocated love. >> We need to raise the bar, you guys. Like. this is crazy. People who are dating men. need to literally come together and. raise the bar. >> It was rough.

>> When I hear about my heterosexual. friends experiences, I'm like, "So, you. just want someone nice and that's that's. the standard?" Like, this is crazy. like. being with a woman like it's like it's. like on another planet so we need to. raise the bar. >> I know I. >> we got to raise the bar. I went through. it and I talked about it in my vows. where I was like he is the first person. to make me feel beautiful and it's like. that is great but it was just like it.

took so long to find him and. >> but you have to want that for yourself. and I think that's where it it comes. down to like. >> what you believe you deserve and like. everyone listening to this you guys. deserve more than kindness. You deserve. consideration, respect, love, laughter, all the things. That doesn't mean that. there aren't going to be some like bumps. in the road that you guys are going to. have to work through, but like let's. raise the bar. >> Yeah.

>> And when you find someone that loves you. and you feel it, there's nothing else. like it. Like I I remember initially. dating him and I was like, is this what. it feels when someone actually likes. you? [laughter]. >> Wow. This is cool. This is cool. Yeah, >> I know. And like when I met Becca, there. was no even though she hadn't dated. women before, there was no confusion. Like it just was like we want to be. together. How do we make this work? I. was leaving for tour. We did like long. distance for a while. And you just you.

make it work, but you you have two. people who are equally putting in. >> effort and energy. >> It's nice when you find that. >> When you find that, you go, "Oh, >> it clicks." you [laughter] know. Oh, >> it clicks. Yeah. Now is your time to. shine, you guys. I mean, don't settle. Find your person. >> Don't settle. >> Be yourself. >> All good things. >> Yes, >> Haley, you did amazing. Thank you so. much for coming on. >> Oh my gosh, I had a blast.

>> Where can people find you? How can they. watch your movie? >> Please go see Girls Like Girls. It's. been a 10-year journey of me getting. this movie made. It is my life's work. It's a movie I'm so proud of and I hope. people feel seen and loved and. supported. Um, go opening weekend with. your community. It should be in almost. every major city nationwide. And um, the [clears throat] two young. ladies, Maya Dasa, Myra Mallaloy, are. incredible. So good. Go get your.

popcorn, make your watch party plans. We. don't get movies like this for um, Sappics and Coming of Age very often in. theaters. So, um, your support would. mean the absolute world. >> Absolutely. You guys, I'll make sure I. link the movies page in the description. Go and watch. >> Okay. Thanks you guys. Thank you, Morgan. It's so fun. >> You ready? >> Yeah. >> And scene. >> Okay. >> How you hanging over there? >> Oh, I'm good. >> It's been a minute.

>> It hasn't been that long. >> I've been locking you up behind the. Patreon doors. >> It's true. [laughter]. >> But I like it. It's fun. We've got Jenna. coming in for a couple stories up first. Since you're a big sports fanatic. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You like sports? >> Baseball. >> Baseball. Dodgers. If we've got any. Dodgers fan in the house, let us know. Yeah. Okay. This one is coming from Am I. the [ __ ] It's titled, "Am I the. [ __ ] for pointing out that the.

football club my uncle supports is LGBT. friendly?". >> Okay. My 16 uncle became upset when my. cousin 18 came out as gay. He vented to. me and my mom saying that my cousin must. be confused and should try dating a girl. first. >> My mom didn't say anything at first. I. didn't either, but then he saw it in my. expression that I wanted to say. something. So, he asked me what it is. I. just told him it's kind of ironic that.

he supports Bayern Munich but doesn't. like LGBT people. He got even more upset. when I said that. My mom later told me I. should not have said it since I knew his. club's stance is a sore spot for him. [snorts]. >> Am I the [ __ ]. >> Well, no. I just think it's weird that. he's associated with something that he. doesn't support. >> It's so dumb. >> Yeah. >> This was like a big thing when heated. rivalry started blowing up and the NHL.

was like really starting to try to. capitalize on it and it's like, "No, no, NHL, let's back it up." What did we get. rid of? Pride night because some of your. players didn't want to put rainbow. colored tape on their sticks and now. >> they got rid of it. I heard about the. stick like you weren't allowed to put. and then I know a player put tape on. their stick. A lot of teams got rid of. it because players were. It's like you can't then like say, "Oh, we're not going to do this and support. this group and then because that group.

is popping off," then be like, "Oh, wait, wait, no, we're going to. capitalize on this.". >> Right. I mean, I think in all sports. there's going to be people who don't. support. Like, I'm going to Dodgers. Pride night and I'm like, "Are the. Dodgers excited for the gays to be. there?" Probably not. >> What? It's LA. Well, well, the I mean he. retired now, but like last Pride night. you had and Clayton Kershaw. I don't. know if you know who that he's a. pitcher, >> but like he's writing Bible verses on. his hat during Pride Nights and like.

nonsup support of us. >> A very pointed thing to do. >> So, it's like you're always going to. have players that don't support it. I. mean, there's so many in especially. men's sports. It's just like everyone's. a little. >> I don't know. >> It's so weird. Yeah. >> Just let people do their thing. I love. that. Um I think it's Charles Barkley. came out recently and was doing an. interview and he's like, "You don't. think there's more gay players on these. teams?". >> Statistically, there has to be. >> You would think. >> I And then I don't know. People are.

doing gay stuff in men are doing gay. stuff in sports all the time. >> We talked about the baseball celebration. video. >> Mhm. >> We'll insert a clip for you guys here. I think like bottom line, he's going to. have to do some big mental shifts. because his child is gay. >> Yeah. >> And so you pointing it out that it's. ironic. No, not the [ __ ] Like he. needs to sort through whatever. small-minded [ __ ] is in his head. And if you pointing that out is one way.

to kind of get him on board and start. doing it, then. >> whatever. Top comment on this one, not. the [ __ ] Has your uncle tried dating. a man first? Oh [ __ ] Got him. Next. comment. Exactly. How do you know you're. heterosexual if you haven't tried a. samesex relationship? >> That's a good argument. >> I really do like it. How do you know for. sure? >> Well, it's hard because you're told like. from the beginning, you're told that. you're straight and you just have to. figure out that you're not straight. >> Mhm. This is a rabbit hole I want to go.

down on like society and how we got to. this strict like it's a rabbit hole I'm. gonna go down. If you know or have good. resources to point me in my rabbit hole. direction, please let me know. Michaela's sitting off camera and I know. she knows. This is just a Michaela. tidbit that she would absolutely know. History is crazy. Humans have been. around for so long. So long. >> Yeah. And yet we're just a blip. And.

it's like, why are we making our blip so. brutal? >> It's just weird how we went from that. timeline to this timeline. >> I wish the dinosaurs were still around. Honestly, I wish the dinosaurs were still here. >> Sure. I don't [laughter]. >> Can the dinosaurs come back? >> I don't know if that's going to help. support LGBTQ rights, but. >> I don't know. It depends on if they re. if they take over, you know, go Jurassic. Park on the White House. Oh, I'd love to. ride one, >> dude. Saber-tooth tigers. So cute. A.

woolly mammoth. Adorable. >> Yeah. >> Um, I'd like to fly on one of those. >> Um, >> you know what I'm talking about. >> God, what is that flying one? >> Try. >> What's the flying dinosaur called? >> It starts with a T, I think. >> Petraasaur. >> No. Oh, I had it. >> Pterodactyl. >> Yep. Yeah, >> it did start with a T. >> It's not um on here, but it it came to.

my brain. >> Yeah. >> Mhm. I'd like to write one. >> Okay, cool. Okay, this next story, this. is going to be a bit of a moral dilemma. one. I'm very curious what you all have. to say in the comments. Okay, this is. coming from Am I the [ __ ] Titled, Am. I the [ __ ] for telling my niece to. stay in the closet until she gets her. inheritance? M. >> my 42 male niece 17 female recently. confided in me that she's a lesbian. I. supported her, let her know I would be.

there, etc. Usual ally stuff. However, she told me she was going to come out to. the whole world this week. I let her. know she should absolutely wait for her. grandparents, my parents, to pass. My. father is incredibly wealthy and has. tens of millions of dollars in assets. that he will be passing down once he is. gone. My father is a raging homophobe. who has flat out stated any gay. individual in our family would be. written out of the will. And to make.

sure the rest of us don't just split. more money with said gay relative. They. will instead have that portion of the. inheritance put aside for that family. member, donated to a charitable cause. that money will be erased from the. inheritance. Since both my father and. mother are in incredibly poor health, stage 4 cancer, and debilitating. dementia, I told my niece that she. should stay in the closet for a while. longer. If she comes out as lesbian and. they find out, she will quite literally.

lose out on $7 million. She was a little sad, but was also. appreciative since that is obviously a. life-changing amount of money that will. allow her to live luxuriously until she. dies. My wife, however, said that I'm. being an [ __ ] I'm telling this poor. girl to hide who she is just to appease. old bigots. That is true. I am asking. her to appease old bigots. But I feel. like her life quality will be much. better with $7 million at the cost of 1.

to2 years in the closet tops. I've also. seen my father's will, and I know who is. getting what. So, my niece is definitely. going to receive 7 million as long as my. father doesn't rewrite or edit his will. Am I the [ __ ] for telling my niece to. stay in the closet so she can be a. millionaire? >> I mean, I would stay in the closet to be. a millionaire. [laughter]. >> $7 million is [snorts] [ __ ] crazy. >> If they weren't in like such poor. health, I mean, I'm like I'm trying to. think of how long I'd be willing to stay.

in the closet for it. >> Yeah. If they're in that poor of health, eh, just stay in a little bit longer. >> Well, I think too there's something to. be said like kind of thinking about. Haley and Becca and their relationship. where they were private, not secret. >> Well, I was about to say like how are. they going to find out? Also, >> yeah, >> like. >> what are you doing? You're announcing it. to the world. Whatever that means, like. you just posting it on social media. I. guess it depends if it's going to get. back to them via like family members.

Like are a family member going to go and. report back so she doesn't get the. money? >> Yeah. I guess like who else would be on. her side or who is a potential threat, >> right? And then in that case, it's like. if they're going to go relay that. message to them to an unsafe person, maybe it's not safe for her to come out. right now in the first place. >> That's a good point. I also just I. wonder, you know, what would life look. like differently? Like, is she not going. to be able to go to the movies with her. girlfriend? Like, what would it really.

look like? Because I do think there's a. world where it's just like just live. your life. Yeah. I feel like they're. your grandpa's not going to be out at. the club. No, they're in the It sounds. like they're in the hospital dying. >> So, sure. I don't know. I'd say just. start coming out to people that you know. is safe. Yeah. And you know, maybe don't. announce it on social media right now. That's what it kind of sounds like she's. telling her to do is just like. >> maybe just keep it between.

the people you know and trust. >> Yeah. >> And I don't think you need to do a whole. announcement, especially if 7 million is. on the line. >> 7 million. And [clears throat] then wait. a let's just say it's a year. >> I would seems long and it seems like. it's not even going to take a year. I. like I tried to put myself in this shoes. and like okay like shut off like a part. of yourself and turn down love. I would. probably be celibate for 10 years for 7. million. >> Yeah. Also, it's tough out there. You.

don't need to. It's okay. >> Tough out there. >> Yeah, dating's hard. Just like take the. money. [sighs] The top comment on this one. Oh. god, I'm torn. This is honestly an. excellent case study for an ethics. class. My gut instinct is to say that. you should never encourage someone to. stay in the closet longer than they want. to. But yesesh, that's a life-changing. amount of money. No [ __ ] here. besides your parents for being raging. homophobes.

>> I agree. >> I think at the end of the day, our. writer here is just trying to protect. his niece. Like, I know the road to hell. is paved with good intentions, but this. really does feel like it's coming from a. good place of just like, hey, maybe. reconsider. you have seven million on. the line and maybe she didn't even know. that like she's 17. >> She probably had I would have no idea. >> How would you know? You've never seen. his will, right? >> And then so in your head where you're. like, "Okay, I'm going to come out. It's. going to be this great thing." Which it. is. And that's so exciting for you. >> But now you have this other piece of. info that it's like,

>> "Okay, well, you know, you could. potentially lose out on 7 million. because this guy's a crazy homophobic. spiteful [ __ ]. >> right?" And it's like, okay, yeah, it'd. go to charity, but like, >> yeah, [clears throat] but I don't think. they're picking the charity. It's going. to go to a homophobic charity. >> That's also [laughter] very true. That's. very true. >> Like, oh, you're a lesbian given that 7. million to uh church. [laughter]. A mega church that has those people that.

go in the rafters and sing. [laughter]. >> Yeah. [snorts]. Just Have you seen those mega church. pits? I'm scared. [laughter]. I don't I don't I don't look at. churches. You know, some of those mega. churches. >> I'm scared [laughter] of them. >> They're crazy. There's another comment. here. Not the [ __ ] 7 million changes. anyone's life. And it's not like she'll. have to hide it forever. Info. Are you. and your wife the only ones who know? OP. responds, "Yes, my wife, myself, and my. niece." My father trusts me immensely.

and is willing to discuss these matters. with me. My mother knows as well, but. her dementia is so bad that it doesn't. matter. >> Then like I don't know in my mind like. you have come out. You've already. started telling people you are in the. process of coming out. >> I feel like you just Yeah. You just keep. telling the people that are closer. closest to you. Like when you say you're. telling the world, you just is that that. is like just a social media announcement. to me. >> I would say social media. I don't think. a 17-year-old would rent one of those. planes with a billboard behind it or a.

banner. >> I'm gay. >> Yeah. I don't think that's happening. >> So, in my mind, I feel like they're not. even It's really not even telling you to. not to come out. It's just don't tell. your grandparents. >> I am so curious what everyone thinks. >> Yeah. Regardless, I would still, if I. couldn't tell anybody, I'd still do it. for 7 million. >> I mean, 7 million is like it's in I like. I can't even fathom that. Like, it's. just so much. And there is another. comment here where someone says, "Not. the [ __ ] You're just advising her,

not forcing her. She still gets to. choose. It's true. >> So, that's a really good point. >> I think OP is great. Big fan. >> Ally. >> Ally. >> There are quite a few comments from OP. I basically told her, "I know it sucks, but I'm sure you would regret not. getting that inheritance. You should. take the money. Maybe I should have just. laid out the facts for her and said, "I'll support your decision regardless, but I thought you should know the. situation." She wants to travel the. world so badly. I told her that when we.

can get the inheritance, I'll quit my. job and travel the world with her as. well, my wife included. We're all so. close, so it would be a whole lot of. fun. I'm reminding her how much more. easily this globe trotting goal will be. with the inheritance. >> And think of all the ladies she can get. with $7 million. [laughter]. >> No, she doesn't want She wants to find. love and someone with good intentions. >> Oh, okay. She doesn't want to be Sugar. Mama. Maybe, you know, she could.

>> she could. >> she would she would have that option at. least. >> That's what I'm saying. >> Yeah. Um OP says, "I guess I don't see. what's wrong with deceiving homophobes. in a situation like this. He's going to. be dead and he's making a very poor. decision. I don't see how it will hurt. him. >> I take his money. >> Take his money. >> Do you look a gift horse in the mouth?". >> Huh? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I don't know. Okay. Um, Opie says, "For. those saying you're the [ __ ] because.

deceiving my dad is wrong. If you were. in my niece's position, can you honestly. say that you would give up $7 million. because deceiving a homophobic grandpa. is wrong?" Can you genuinely say that. you wouldn't keep your beliefs hidden. for a year for the sake of a comfortable. life? I highly doubt any of you could. practice what you preach in the same. situation, especially if you have debt. and other life difficulties. >> Mhm. >> Just kind of live your life. Do you? Private, not secret. >> Exactly. >> And you know, Grandpa's gonna be gone.

soon by the sounds of it. >> Grandpa's never going to know. >> I think she she'll be just fine. >> No. But again, put your thoughts in the. comments, y'all. As the top comment. said, crazy moral dilemma. >> I'm not um torn, but [laughter]. >> Jenna, you basically are just like. singing that um that song from Jerry. Magcguire. Show me the money. [laughter]. >> That's you right now. >> Okay. Thank you for your popping. >> Yeah, anytime.

>> One, two, three. >> Oh my god, my hair grew. [laughter]. >> Look who it is. >> Yay. [screaming]. >> Let's go. >> I'm ready. >> Okay, I've got one for you coming from. our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. I. love it when that happens. If you can't. recognize who's hopping in, it's. Michaela. >> Oh, so true. Yeah. Hello. >> Hello, gay people. [laughter].

>> This one is titled Best Friend of 15. years tells me she can't attend my. wedding. >> I need to vent for a second. I'm getting. married next April to the love of my. life, and I couldn't be more excited. I. asked my three best friends to be my. bridesmaids. longest friend, college. roommate, postcol roommate. My longest. friend, since we were around 11 years. old, lives in another state. So, I. mailed her invitation to her as a.

surprise. She sent me this text last. night letting me know that she doesn't. support the fact that I'm marrying a. woman and will not be in attendance in. my wedding. What the [ __ ]. >> I'm incredibly hurt by this on multiple. levels. This love the sinner hate the. sin mindset is extremely hurtful and. does not constitute unconditional love. These are the same beliefs my dad and. stepmom have had since I came out. And. it's already been painful enough to deal. with their judgment. I didn't realize. one of my closest, most trusted people. secretly felt that same way even after.

having met my partner and knowing I was. gay for over 3 years. And after I. confided in her about my parents. reaction to me being gay, I feel lied to. and honestly have felt sick to my. stomach since reading this. I've already. responded to let her know how hurtful. this is and that I appreciate her being. honest and telling me now, but that our. friendship will not be able to continue. if this is what she believes. And I. wished her the best. I'm trying to focus. on the fact that I'm glad she told me so.

that I don't have to keep people like. this in my life, but I feel incredibly. blindsided and betrayed. Thanks all for. letting me vent. And then OP does. include pictures of the screenshots. Whoa, wait. I I want to hear. >> So, this text message says, "Hi, Blank. I've had a really hard time trying to. decide if I can be a part of your. wedding day. I don't want to hurt you. I. should have been honest with you from. the get- go and expressed my thoughts to. you when you first came out to me about. being gay. I've never once judged you.

for it or loved you less. I just do not. want to support you marrying another. woman. I should have told you that a. long time ago, but I didn't because I. was worried it would affect our. relationship. I've been walking the. fence with God for a long time. But this. past year, my relationship with him has. grown more and more. Because of that, I. can't with good conscience support a. same-sex marriage when it goes. completely against my beliefs. I've. prayed a lot about it and tried. justifying it, but I can't attend your. wedding. What the hell? Me going would.

show other Christians that I support it. And I can't be a stumbling block for. others, my children, or even myself. I. love you and I care for you and your. salvation. I pray that this won't ruin. our friendship. I understand if you're. upset with me in any way. I'm absolutely. heartbroken that I can't be there for. your special day like you were for mine. Please know this was an extremely hard. decision for me. I just want you to know. I love you no matter what. I would have. much rather have done this in person, but I just got the package Thursday and. I owed you an answer. If you want to get. together and talk more about it, we can.

I will come to you. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I mean, having a homophobic friend is. not the craziest thing to happen in the. world, but I feel what's so different. about this story is that it took so long. to even realize that she felt that way. Like, I can't imagine, you know, having. been out to someone for 3 years. Like, you've talked about your relationship. with them. finally one day you invite. them to your wedding and all of a sudden.

you discover that they don't support you. and aren't okay with it and think it's a. sin. Like that just feels so. blindsiding. I'm just like what? Why? Like why? And I. just like I'm so glad you found this out. now before you were wedding planning. down the road. And. you know, this is so shitty. Losing a. friend that you've been friends with for. 15 years since you were 11. Like that is. >> a huge part of your life. But on the.

bright side, you are being your most. true, authentic, happy self. You are. about to marry your person, the love of. your life. And anyone that's not going. to support you and your love, good. riddens. Get out of here. Yeah. It's. just so cra I mean it's I guess a good. thing that this friend hasn't been. actively trying to get her to not be gay. all this time or like been trying to. convert her or been like putting her. down about it for ever. I'm kind of.

confused about. why the wedding is where she draws the. line. Like why is that all of a sudden. not okay and everything else was never a. problem? But I wonder if that like one. of the last statements in one of the. last texts you read as part of it of. like other Christians seeing it and like. publicly being a part of a gay event as. opposed to just like. >> you know kind of more quietly having a. friend who is gay. >> That quiet support versus no, I'm in. wedding photos. I'm standing up at the.

altar supporting them. Yeah. Like the. messaging and the message she would be. sending. >> Yeah. would be very loud, >> which is different than like a personal. I'm not okay with this thing. That's. more of like a that you're worried about. your public image. >> amongst the Christian community. I guess. the thing is like. religion should not be weaponized. It. can be such a beautiful thing and just. let people live their life. Like there's. no.

I mean I'm not going to go down a. theology side of it. There's people out. there though that explain the. translation and how different. translations have made people interpret. things in certain way. >> But at the bottom line, at the end of. the day, this was your friend. >> Yeah. >> Like, what? I'm never going to be able to. mental gymnastic myself and even have. any empathy for this friend that's doing. this because I don't understand how you. just can't love people and let them love. who they want to love and be supportive. >> Yeah. Actually, back to the um the the.

gayness in Greece and Rome thing you. were talking about earlier. You were. talking about like people having. different translations and stuff. It's. funny because the line about you should. never lie with a man as a woman does. Like some people think that that just. means if you're on bottom instead of. like being a man and a man, it mean like. being [laughter] the one. >> What? >> Yeah. Because that is like kind of what. they believed at the time. Like how it. made me sneeze.

>> Like, it's okay to have sex with a man. as long as you're the one penetrating is. kind of how they felt. Like, it doesn't. affect your masculinity. unless you're the one who's. >> Would you look at that? >> Like the woman, >> you learn something new every day. >> That's one interpretation by some. archaeologists. It's so funny. >> That's so crazy. Oh my god. But it's hard to. >> So, women didn't go on top in ancient. Greece. >> I'm sure they did. I'm I mean, come on. There's quite a few comments on this. one. Top comment, she already ended the.

friendship. Congrats on your wedding. May you live long and prosper. Next. comment, that's not a friend. Don't give. her another thought. Don't reply. Put. your energy towards your wedding with. people who don't judge how others love. one another. And be grateful that she. won't be in the photos. >> Ask to find out now than Photoshop. later. >> Yeah, that is true. And it sounds like. she gave her a decent heads up about it. >> But I don't know. I know. I'm like, does. she have a new pastor? Is there a new. group at church that she's become.

friends with that's like a little bit. more like conservative about. homosexuality? Cuz it sounds like she. was saying, "I've been walking the line. with my faith until the last year and. now.". >> I don't know. >> It's very confusing. And a lot of people. do point out. What blows my mind is the. but I still love you. Like rejecting a. huge part of their identity is no. biggie. Love is accepting someone for. who they are, not just the parts your. imaginary friends, gatekeepers told you.

you're allowed to accept. >> Yeah. I hope you find salvation. I pray. for your salvation. If someone said that. to me, I'd be pissed as [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm. saved. >> I know. >> Great. >> Someone points this out. It's [ __ ] up. that many Christians have decided that. homosexuality is the main thing they. have a problem with. They legit have a. list of the top 10 sins and. homosexuality is definitely not on. there. >> We went into this yesterday. Do you. remember? I was like, I know you [ __ ]. are experiencing coveting. I know you. [ __ ] are lustful. I know you're.

greedy. >> I don't even know the ten commandments. >> Uh, >> is that what is those are the is. coveting on there? Those are that's what. that is. >> Yes. Being uh gluttonous is one of them. Sloth. Sloth is one of them. I know you. [ __ ] I know you [ __ ] are slothing. >> and you're worried about gay. What is. slothing? >> Like being lazy. >> What do you want? >> This feels fake. >> Do you want to read the 10? >> Well, I'm trying to find them, but like. there's a lot of. >> There's 10 deadly sins. >> Fake versions.

Thou shalt not covet. 10. Yeah, there. you go. >> That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm. saying. And I know we're coveting. You're on Tik Tok shop. You are. coveting. [laughter]. >> Um, thou shalt not bear false witness. Thou shalt not commit adultery. >> Mhm. There's a lot of other ones way before. Yeah, that's a very good point that that. person makes. Although all the sins are. equal apparently, are they though? >> Yeah, which always like flew my mind as. a child. >> Killing. Yes. Murder. Yes. Murder and.

lying are like it's all equal. >> I don't believe that. >> That's what I was told. [laughter]. >> I don't I don't. >> And I always thought to myself, >> I don't cosign that. >> Okay. OP, congratulations on your. wedding. one of our very listeners. I. would love to see pictures. >> Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. That's so. exciting. Oh, wait. Congratulations. I'm. so sorry that you're going through this. This is You're gonna have the most. amazing magical day. And. >> the people that are meant to be there. are going to show up for you and make it.

so special. And that is what it's about. Like, this is a great time to weed out. people that aren't real ones. They're. not ride or dies. I I really did hold my. wedding as a standard of like, are you. going to show up for me in the way I. show up for you? And if not, bye. >> She probably would have brought weird. energy. There would have been like a. weird aura around her. >> This is weird. I would love to see. pictures of your wedding. >> Yes. >> So, please send them to me. This next. one is coming from Am I the [ __ ]. Titled, "Am I the [ __ ] for getting my.

child's teacher fired after she called. my marriage fake?". I, 30 female, have been married to my. wife, 31 female, for 7 years. And 5. years ago, we had a daughter, who I'll. call Gracie, through IVF. We are both. religious and part of an LGBT affirming. sect. We think it's important to our. daughter to have a religious education. Our local place of worship doesn't have. a kindergarten, so Gracie is at a school. by a different church that is more.

conservative. But we were told our. marriage would not be an issue and that. other same-sex couples had kids. enrolled. My daughter's teacher, who. we'll call Mrs. B, seemed nice enough. We chatted when I volunteered, and. Gracie enjoyed her class. Early last. week, the kids were told to do a family. tree. My wife and I helped Gracie, and. she turned it in with me labeled as mama. and my wife as mom. After the family. tree presentations, I got a call from.

Mrs. B saying my daughter acted out in. class and needed a parent teacher. meeting to discuss her behavior. When I. get my daughter that day at pickup, she's sobbing. Gracie tells me when she. presented, Mrs. B asked if the two moms. were a mistake. But when my daughter. said she has two moms, Mrs. be told my. daughter that it isn't a real marriage. and that it's never too late for me to. enter a proper marriage with one man and.

one woman. Gracie starts crying, saying, "We are a real family." Mrs. B snapped. at my daughter and told her to sit down. and shut up. She gave her a zero and did. not discipline some kids who were then. mocking her. I immediately called my. wife, who left work early. When we got. home, my wife and I explained how not. everyone is accepting, but that we are a. real family. Our God loves us very much.

and how brave she was for standing up. for herself. The next day, my wife. called off work and we took Gracie to my. grandmother's. We went to the. principal's office and we were seen. ASAP. The principal was deeply. apologetic that one, Gracie had been. told that by Mrs. B, and two, she didn't. intervene when she was bullied. He. affirmed the school's commitment to a. safe environment for all families, regardless of opinions on same-sex. marriage. He said to bring Gracie in the. next day because this would be taken.

care of. The next day, I took Gracie to. class and Mrs. B was gone, replaced by a. sub. The principal informed my wife and. I that Mrs. B was fired. However, word. got around the school quick. While some. parents were supportive, others told us. we should be ashamed of ourselves and we. ruined Mrs. Be's life by demanding she. be fired. We didn't ask her to be fired, just that it was dealt with and that we. could have talked to Mrs. B first or.

asked to go to the other kindergarten. class. A few are even saying Mrs. is. right and our family doesn't belong at. this school and we need to transfer so. their children don't think this sinful. union is okay. Obviously, I don't think. my marriage is wrong, but should I have. talked to Mrs. B first or just asked to. transfer classes? Am I the [ __ ] for. getting my child's teacher fired after. she called my marriage fake? No, OP. You.

did not do anything wrong. I think what. sucks about this is that you did. everything right, but then still now. you're left in a situation where. everyone at school is blaming you and. talking about you and your child and. saying how like this sucks for them. because this gay couple has ruined our. our kids classroom. And it's like there. was nothing you could do in that. situation just because you're yourselves. for things to go in a way that didn't.

harm you and your child. And that really. sucks. Also, Mrs. Be's life isn't ruin. She can get a job in Florida. Sorry to. Florida. She can get a job in Florida. I'm sure they love that [ __ ] I mean, she'll find another job. Teachers are. very in demand right now. I know there's. a shortage of teachers. I think. regardless of what you believe in to. yell at a 5-year-old in your. kindergarten class and tell them to shut. up.

>> This child is five. They literally just. learned how to talk. I I know like I'm. being hyperbolic here, but you know what. I mean? Like yeah, this is a little baby. is like coming to you and making this. family tree and you're like, "Actually, Gracie, you're [ __ ] dumb. Shut up. your parents marriage isn't real. Get. the [ __ ] out. Like, >> I know she didn't say that aggressively, but that's what you're basically. implying in how you're treating this. five-year-old child. If you are in. positions of teacher, counselor,

a position of power in regards to. children, regardless of what your. beliefs are, you need to set them aside. in order to treat them with respect. And. like, if you can't do that, you. shouldn't be in that position. >> Yeah. Have some self-control. And also. like to what end? To what end is saying. this going to do some like saying this. to a 5-year-old? What's that going to. do? Like what's the 5-year-old going to. do about it? Like there's not even Yeah. like a a scenario in which this leads to.

something that could make you happy if. this is your belief. Like except feel. crappy. That's a really good point. >> That other people don't believe in. And. I think what also is sad about this is. that like it just shows that this is a. conversation that like at some point gay. couples have to have with their children. of like by the way there are people out. there who are going to say bad things. about your your mom and I or your dad. and like there are people who are going. to judge you and like look down on you. because of this and say you're going to.

hell and xyz all the and like that's a. conversation that has to happen with. every gay couple with kids and. >> that's so sad. I know that's so sad that. that could be a reality for a lot of. kids out there or like you can't have. sleepovers if parents are into that. because of people being weird or. homophobic and it's like [sighs]. it's very frustrating. Like I again like. I just don't understand. why people and all over like this.

episode might not be able to be played. in certain countries. Like that is the. reality of certain places in the world. and it's like it's so [ __ ] gross. >> Yeah. [sighs] And things have been getting. worse. >> I know. >> I know. And that's like we need we need. to have these stories get out there. because like it could change people's. minds and like it could cause a shift. and people could see the error of their. ways and like I hope there.

>> is more progress and there's there has. been progress. If you look back, you. know, you look at the 80s and all the. discrimination and like all of these big. things and it's like we have had some. progress. 2015 samesex marriage became. legal. Like. >> there's been progress, but it's like. okay. >> Not really the last couple years though. >> I would say we've gone backwards for. sure the last few years. >> Everything has gone backwards the last. few years. Like it's just not.

>> it's not good. [sighs and gasps]. >> But definitely not the [ __ ] You are. entitled to your faith and your child. should have a safe place to learn. >> Yeah. >> This is not a safe place. And honestly, good on the principal for acting so. swiftly. And any of those other. families, if they're uncomfortable, they. can get the [ __ ] out of there, too. And. I can't imagine like being a teacher and. having this 5-year-old child in your. class and not just being like, you know. what, I want to protect them. I don't.

want to hurt this child. I don't want to. I don't want to make them sad or feel. bad about their family. No. I just I. mean it's one thing to harass people. kind of separate on the internet. These. people you don't know or like harass the. concept of gay like be this separate. entity that's judging it from afar. But. to like actually know this 5-year-old. child and to be so venomous that you. want to make them feel bad, that's crazy.

to me. A 5-year-old. top comment, not the [ __ ] Your child. was emotionally harmed and the teacher. was clearly hostile and discriminatory. towards your family. You didn't get her. fired personally. You reported a serious. issue to protect your child and the. school made the decision. Talking to. Mrs. B first might not have changed. anything and could have caused more. stress for Gracie. Your priority was. your child's safety and well-being and. you handled it responsibly.

>> Yeah. >> And that's true. Like going to the. teacher first could cause retaliatory. methods like Gracie's separated in class. or ignored in class. Like it could make. it worse versus hey, this was. inappropriate. We're going to who should. know about this situation, right? And. again, if you're just the person who has. communicated what somebody else did and. that gets them fired or punished in. whatever way, that does not make you.

responsible. It is still the. responsibility of the person who did the. thing that could get them fired, you. know, and I feel like that's in a lot of. situations victims of things feel like. it's their fault when someone who. actually did the thing gets punished for. it. >> Yeah. A lot of people are like, "Not the. [ __ ] There's probably something else. going on here where like this isn't her. first warning. >> for it to go to 0 to 100. Like there's. probably other situations that have. happened with Mrs. be and this was just. another strike. Either that or when the.

principal talked to her, she exploded. and went back down. >> So regardless, like she probably was. given more chances or handled the. situation very inappropriately and it. was determined that she can no longer. work here. She's ineffective. >> Yeah. Well, that makes sense cuz they. told this couple it won't be a problem. at our school. So like this has to be. conversations that were happening. internally. >> already. Crazy. We don't have an update. from OP yet. It's 3 months old at this.

time. >> Oh wow. >> So maybe someday. >> Damn. I hope that everyone at their. school gets a little nicer. I wonder if. they stayed there or. >> I know switched. I don't It sucks. >> I know. And you should. And then it's. also sad cuz then it's disillusioning. gay people from religion and it's like. wouldn't you want to. >> like welcome everybody and accept them. and make them feel comfortable. Numbers. are going down. >> That's that's the kind of thing that's. going to make people not want to be a.

part of the church. >> I know you got to be inclusive. Numbers. are going down. >> Need all the little boost you can get. Inclusivity might be one way to do it. Just just a thought. This next one is coming from r/am. overreacting titled, "Am I overreacting. that my boyfriend doesn't want me to. identify as by anymore?". >> Forgive me. This is my first ever post. and I'm not sure how good it will be. Lol. So, my female 24, boyfriend, male,

26, and I have been together for almost. 2 years now and have been living. together for about a year. Overall, our. relationship is amazing. He takes such. great care of me and all of our pets. Anyways, I don't know how this came up, but two nights ago it came up that I. identify as bisexual. I thought he had. already known that because it's not. something I really hide. Needless to. say, it caught him by surprise because. now he's saying that he can't trust me. alone with any of my friends because.

I'm choosing to identify as that. and he. believes it means basically that I'm. always attracted to everyone around me. essentially. I don't know. We started. arguing and it just went nowhere. He. identifies as a straight male and he's. never been too exposed to LGBT plus. community, so I understand why things. like sexuality can be confusing for him, but I'm pretty much the exact opposite. where I've had many out and open family.

members and friends who all identify in. many different ways. So basically, yeah, he told me that he doesn't like that I. identify as bisexual and that if I'm. truly committed to our relationship, which is a straight relationship, that I. should be identifying as straight. If I. keep identifying as by, that must mean. I'm trying to attract ladies. I know I. could have just said, "Yeah, okay, you're right. I'm straight now." But it. just feels like I'm having to shamefully.

hide a part of me. I've just never been in a situation like. this before and I don't want to make him. feel that kind of insecurity. I just. kind of sort of feel lost right now and. I'm torn between a part of who I am and. my relationship. Anyways, if you read. all of this, thank you. And any advice. is welcome. He sucks first of all. Yeah. >> But that's also like the most classic. bif phobia in the books. Just like. assuming you want everybody. I also just.

feel like for all gay people, not just by people, it's like as soon as. my certain like female friends know that. I'm also into women, they like think I. want them and it's like I don't I don't. I don't want you. You know, it's just. like not like even if you look at okay, sis, straight, like not every guy wants. you. Why would you think. >> Yeah. Why would you think a by woman is. automatically going to be into you just. because you're a woman? >> Yeah. It's like a weirdly strong sense. that people have of like, oh, now that I.

know that you're into girls, it's like, I better watch out. >> I better watch out. I better watch. That's so. >> You're marked safe. You are marked safe. [laughter]. >> That's so weird. >> It's not happening. Um, but yeah, I. know. I was just telling you, which I. can't believe you didn't know this. I've. I haven't had sex in 5 years with any. with anybody. So, like this idea. >> I feel like I should give you a trophy. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> Like that feels like such an. accomplishment. The first year that I. did it, I got myself a cake that said. happy virginiversary. >> What are you doing for this one? Have.

you hit 5 years? >> I'm Yeah, I'm past 5 years. >> So, when is six? >> I don't know. It's like February. sometime February. >> I missed it. >> I Well, at a certain point is a big. certain point you stop celebrating. [laughter]. >> Well, I think honestly seven years. should be the big one because as you. said, seven years. >> all of your cells have regenerated and. then you can be a virgin [clears throat]. again. But okay. trying to get there. now. Sorry, I'm like so fascinated by. this. >> It's like it'd be so funny, but I'm also. not like. >> if love if love finds me, it's a no cuz.

I got to regenerate myself. I'm like, [laughter]. >> it's not. But [gasps] the point that I. was trying to make is that like I am. bisexual, but I am clearly not like, oh. my god, I want everybody. I'm I'm so. into everybody. I need to have them all. So, this idea of like because you can be. interested in any gender doesn't mean. >> that you want everybody. You can still. be in a committed relationship and only. want the person that you're with. It. works the same way as it does with. everybody else. >> I know. It's such a weird mentality,

too, because it's like, okay, you're. worried about your partner being by. because they could be potentially. attracted to women, but what about other. guys? >> Yeah. Well, how many is it 8 billion. people in the world? >> Yeah. So it's like before you were. worried about 4.5 billion people. Like I. mean once you're at 4.5 billion people, can it really get any bigger than that? >> Am I right? >> I can't comprehend. I mean after after. like 8 million I'm like what? I don't. know. It's just like. >> Yeah. Like 8 billion, 4.5 billion.

>> The million versus billion when they do. it in piles of rice really freaks me. out. >> It's insane. Like that's I'm just like I. can't compute like and again like I. really I'm like when you start seeing. those piles of rice a million versus a. billion you're like a billion shouldn't. exist and a trillion certainly shouldn't. exist. >> Yeah. People got to start dying. >> or like taxes. I mean just taxes would. be also okay then death. >> Okay. [laughter]. Protect queer art.

[gasps] But yeah, no, this is a weird. logic. And for him being like, well, you. should just identify as straight now cuz. you're with me. It's like he's not. respecting you. And as OP said, like you. shouldn't have to be torn between a part. of who you are and your relationship. Your relationship should respect who you. are. Yeah, absolutely. It's also like. otherwise you're with the wrong person. Yeah. Sexuality doesn't equate to. availability. I don't. It's just it's a.

totally different like we'll talk about. the difference between sexuality and. gender. Like there's also a difference. between sexuality and in a relationship. or or single. Top comment. I don't. understand. It's not like you're. attracted to all men or women. It's not. like you have to screw everything you're. attracted to. I think it's kind of. strange he can't comprehend that. >> Yeah, but it's common. So, not that. shocked. It's so weird. There's a. comment that does respond to that.

That's a harmful by stereotype that. people that are by are all basically. like super promiscuous and that's not. the case. >> I also think like some can be though. Hey, if you're out there, woo. >> Yeah, maybe message Michaela cuz she. might need a little inspo apparently. [laughter]. I do think there's something though to. be said about that with him too. There's. an aspect of by eraser here where it's. like oh well you're with me you're. you're not by. Yeah. >> And so I think that's important to keep. in mind like no just because you're with.

a guy like you can still be by. >> So. >> that's a big discourse on Pride Month. >> By by girls with girl with boyfriends. >> We don't have to get into that. >> I mean do you want to? No. >> I've seen a lot of posts about it. >> Joking. >> I have seen a lot of posts about it. Um. especially like can I bring my boyfriend. to Pride if I'm by. does he need to be there? Is that his. space? >> I mean, it's fine, but does he like I. don't know. That's a debate. It's like,

does he need to be I don't know. >> A lot of people said no. A lot of people. said that's not his space. And the. boyfriend didn't really want to go in. one of the stories. So, it's like, well, then again, there are some things that. like I just don't really have a strong. opinion on, >> you know? But if Yeah. If I saw some. like boyfriends at Pride just kind of. trailing behind, bringing the vibe down. >> I [laughter] don't know. I'd be like, >> bringing the vibe down. >> All right, here's here's this guy. Here's this [ __ ] guy.

>> Yeah. I mean, if he's bringing the vibe. down, he definitely shouldn't be there. >> But if everyone's friends with him, he's. like integrated into the group. I don't. know. >> I mean, is he an ally or not? >> Well, I hope so. I don't. >> I mean, if he's with you, a by person, like you. >> are we talking about me? >> No. like [laughter]. >> the writer. Yeah, >> it's been a day. I'm sorry guys. >> No, but No, but like if he's with this. by person, he should at least be an. ally. Be with an ally. Like, totally,

totally. >> Yeah, this guy is really like he's got. to compute some stuff. >> I know. Everyone's calling him names in. the comments. They call him an insecure. weirdo. Well, I also feel bad because I. feel like OP is sort of letting him. dictate it a little bit more than she. should be. She was like, "Oh, I could. have just told him I'm straight." I'm. like, "No." Like, why are you even Why. is that even a thing that you're putting. in there? >> You shouldn't have to compromise on who. you are to keep someone.

>> Yeah. If you have to lie about who you. are, hide parts of who you are to have. someone like you or love you or want to. be in a relationship with you, >> that is not the right person. [sighs and gasps]. >> He can't come to Pride. >> No, he's absolutely not coming to Pride. OP is very active on Reddit. Um, in. Yellow Jackets hive subreddits, in Am I. overreacting subreddits,

>> Netflix subreddits? I mean, they're. verified to your club. So, this is. giving real post. Did they respond to. any comments? >> They did respond to some just, you know, thanking people for genuine and. thoughtful responses. They do say a lot of people are skipping. over the fact that we come from two. totally different households. And yes, there's plenty offormational media out. there, but really it's not the same as. having real life experiences. And I. believe it is just a shock to realize.

that for him. He is very open to. learning and understanding about the. LGBT plus community. And I think we'll. revisit this topic after letting our. brains marinate on it for a while. Lol. Thank you. >> Okay. [gasps]. Mar. Okay. Okay. Marinate on that. bisexuality. >> Marinate. Marinate. >> Thank you for not jumping to the. straight he's a horrible monster. conclusion like everyone else. I think. you're right. It definitely is ignorance. over malice and it's just another thing. that we both have to be prepared for and. ready to talk about. I would say sure. I.

mean, you've been together for 2 years. and if he's just now learning your buy, like I could I can understand why he's. like, "Well, wait, like why didn't you. tell me? that's, you know, a part of you. that I'd like to know and appreciate, whatever. But if he continues to be. like, "You're straight. You're with me. You're straight. You're not by anymore. You're straight." Then you're going to. have a problem. >> That's not a problem of like, "Oh, he. needs to marinate on it." That's just a. problem. In like a sort of distant far.

off way, I could understand this being a. thing people experience. But if I try to. like ever consider being in this. situation at this point in my life and. having a guy talk like that or respond. that way, I can't imagine it. Like that. would be so crazy to me. I'd be like, "No.". >> If someone said that to you, would you. stay with them? >> No. >> Even if you were together for 5 years? >> I Well, I would I wouldn't. >> You wouldn't get there. >> I would never be in that situation. >> Yeah. You wouldn't get there. Find people who are going to match you.

in compassion, empathy, effort, love, respect. Regardless of who it is, find someone. who's meeting you on your level. Like we. >> No one deserves to settle. Like point. blank mic drop. >> Mhm. >> Don't settle. >> Yeah. >> Raise the bar. Raise the bar. Raise the. bar. >> And by girls are promiscuous. >> That is not a rumor we're going to start. on the show. Michaela, they're clearly not. She's celibate for.

5 years. There's, you know, Yeah. Yeah. It. doesn't mean I'm not promiscuous. [laughter]. Next guest. Hey guys. And uh Yes. Welcome to Two Hot. Takes. I look a little different, but in. case you guys don't know who I am, because for some reason I haven't been. around for a while. I've been working in. on the other set, but I'm Morgan's dad. from Father Knows Something. So, uh,

Morgan, thanks for letting me on your. show today. >> Yeah, [gasps]. Dad is not a part of the LGBTQ plus. community. However, he is one of the. best dads I know. The most open, supportive, kind dad out there. So, you're here to respond to this next. story, our last story from a dad's. perspective. Okay, I can do this. >> So, this is coming from r/am I. overreacting titled My son just told me.

he is gay. Am I overreacting? I, 52 male, am the father of a. 17-year-old son. We are really close. He. is my whole world. We've always had a. great relationship. He's a typical guy. for his age. He plays football, has a. good group of friends, and we talk about. everything. or at least I thought we. did. Last night, he came into my room. and told me he was gay. He looked like. he was going to throw up. He said,

quote, "Please don't hate me for what. I'm about to say." And then he told me. I just froze. I was just so shocked that. I went totally silent for a few seconds. When he saw my reaction, he started. crying. That snapped me out of it. and I. immediately hugged him and told him I. loved him over and over again and he. sobbed. He kept apologizing and I kept. shushing him and telling him that he. didn't need to be sorry. We both cried.

Since last night, I can't stop. spiraling. I love my son with everything. I have. This hasn't changed and never. never will. But I'm scared. In our. country, this thing is complicated. People in the city are starting to. accept it more, but we live in a small. town in which things are still very. controversial. When I was in high. school, there was a kid who was rumored. to be gay, and he ended up getting. beaten so badly he had to move away. That's all I can see when I think of my.

son now, and it's destroying me. I don't. know how to protect him. I feel. helpless. He told me he's not going to. act different or wear makeup or anything. like that. But honestly, that just made. me feel worse. I don't want him to think. he has to say that to make me feel more. comfortable. I keep thinking about the. stupid jokes I've made in the past, stuff I thought was harmless, and now I. hate myself. I think I might have hurt. him without knowing it. I don't know. anything about gay people. I've never.

had anyone close to me come out before. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or. say. Should I talk to him about boys. like I would have talked about girls? Should I ask him about crushes or would. that make it weird? What happens when he. starts dating? Do I treat it like I. would if he brought home a girlfriend? I'm terrified I will say or do the wrong. thing and push him away. I want to be a. good dad. I want him to feel safe with. me, but I'm overwhelmed and I can't stop. thinking about all the things that could.

go wrong. I keep picturing people being. cruel to him. I can't sleep. I feel like. I'm failing him already by not knowing. what to do to keep him safe. Am I. overreacting? I don't have anyone in my. life that I can talk to about this. I. just want to do right by my son. >> You know, that is really the heart of. all of our of being a parent is simply. protecting our kids. And when we see. something that can cause them a problem.

later in life, we are scared shitless. And sometimes we me can get really in. some in someone's opinion nasty when I'm. only trying to do things that you know. protect my kids and we only act out of. love. And I think the fact that what you. just articulated here was so so perfect. and simple that that's what you should. share with him. say, "I'm happy with. whatever your preference is. It doesn't. matter to me. The only thing that. matters to me is that you're safe." And.

because I've seen such meanness with. with as a parent's point of view. watching other people going through. this, the meanness what comes along with. it. That's what what what makes me. feared, not the fact that you're gay. I'm totally comfortable. If you find. someone that you can have a meeting of. the minds with and love and will love. you back with all their heart, what do I. care? And that's really what it's about. I mean, you only want happiness for.

well, and I'm speaking people that. should be, you know, of of of normal. balanced love, you know, with their. kids. I mean, there are people out there. that are narcissistic and do have other. >> have issues, >> you know, have their own issues, >> but, you know, I I I speak generally. you only want love for you, you know, for your children. And I can definitely. see that you have it for your son. And. I'm sure he does feel it. And the fact. that he was able to be open and talk to. you shows you that he loves and he. trusts you. But you have to be totally.

honest and tell him where your concern. really is has nothing to do about his. sexuality. It has to do with somebody. else coming on board and and hurting him. because there's a lot of meanness in the. world. >> Yeah. Yeah. As long as he's got you. being supportive and caring and being. his dad, >> that's all that matters. I think, you. know, a lot of people don't even feel. comfortable coming out to their parents. or it's not safe for them to come out to. their parents because they'll be cut off. and kicked out of the house. And so many.

people go through stuff like that. And. we've, you know, we've had stories and. writeins like that on Father Knows of. like, I want to come out, but I don't. think it's safe. What do I do? >> Yeah. I mean, you know, in my family, we. do have people that are are are part of. the LGBTQ. >> LGBTQ plus. >> plus LGBTQ plus community. And it is. always it was absolutely accepted with. no issue. I mean, I'm sure my dad was,

you know, was in disbelief when my. sister came out and only because his. narrow-mindedness. >> with a lot of things in life, but and I. don't know what his deal was. I can't. tell you. And he he died soon after. So, I I I can't answer. But we've as a. family, we've all accepted uh the love. of her life and and and in our in our. own and in your family, we've always. accepted the love of of his life. I.

mean, it in every family I that I know I. it's amazing how today's world is so. different here in the United States than. it may be in your country. >> Yeah. >> Uh but it's, you know, it's every day. I. mean, nobody I don't I don't I I. certainly hope we don't have the hate. that we did have when I was in high. school because we certainly had it when. I was in high school. >> You know, I think unfortunately a lot of. LGBTQ plus people do face.

mean treatment, hatred, hate crimes. I. mean, it it is scary still, I think, today. But I think when it comes to. living your life, like make sure you're. >> opening up to the right [clears throat]. people. And if your family is unwilling. to accept you for who you are, then. chosen family. >> and the village that you build is more. important. >> Absolutely. >> So, I will say we've got some comments. on this one. The top comment, hi Lesbian.

here. First off, I think you did an. amazing job in your reaction to your son. telling you he's gay. I've had to come. out to my mom three times now, and her. reactions ranged from it's just a phase. to you need to talk to God about it. So, you showing love and support was. definitely the correct response. >> In reading your post, I do think you. could benefit from doing some research. on the LGBTQ plus community, I mostly. want to point out that sexuality and. gender expression are two very different. things. This is in regards to the makeup.

thing. Most people are used to the. stereotype that gay men are flamboyant. and feminine and gay women are super. butch and masculine. But that does not. describe all gay men and women. Who we. sleep with does not dictate how we look. If your son wants to wear makeup, cool, but it's not like a requirement to be a. gay man. The last thing I want to say is. in regards to when he starts dating. Please acknowledge it. Be excited for. him. Ask questions. Speaking from. firsthand experience here, I've been.

dating my girlfriend for almost 9. months, and every time I bring her up to. my mom, I get zero acknowledgement, and. the conversation quickly changes to. something else. After 30 years of hiding. who I was, it sucks to feel like I still. need to hide myself from my mom. Just. keep doing what you're doing. You're on. the right track so far. Be supportive. Be curious. Make jokes. I'm constantly. making not straight jokes. Make a. crooked line when cutting wrapping. paper. I've never done a straight thing. in my life. That squiggly line is as.

straight as I am. LOL. There are so many. good dad jokes. But yeah, the most. important thing is making sure your son. feels accepted and loved. Best of luck. to you. >> I agree. And I and and I also think you. did an amazing job. But I I think the. the thing that you really have to do to. finish the frosting on the cake is have. the honesty talk of what of why you. reacted. So he understands you didn't. react because of his choice. You reacted. because of just your fear of him being.

safe. >> Yeah. And there's so many amazing. comments here too. Just like again. people sharing their insights. Trans. girl here completely agree with. everything said. Me coming out destroyed. my parents' marriage. There were a lot. of cracks but ultimately it's what did. it. My mom disowned me and then she. divorced my dad when he refused to. My. dad's a plumber. He's made off-color. jokes my whole life. But when I shared. myself with him, he was so amazingly. supportive. He was clear. There was much. he didn't understand. And he asked me to.

be patient with him. But to know no. matter what, he was always on my side. And he has been. Now he's the guy at the. Elks Club trying to educate his boomer. buddies about trans issues. He's wearing. pride shirts on job sites and doing. everything he can to make sure this. really scary place is safer for me. A. good dad can change the world. Oh my god, why am I going to cry? That's. just so beautiful. >> It was. >> And I think like I think parents like. one thing parents could do that I wish.

my mom would have done a little better. is when you're scared and your behavior. might seem irrational, be overly honest. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with. your kids and tell them the truth about. why you're acting the way you're acting. And so I think for this guy where he's. like, I've made some off-hand jokes. before. I'm I'm scared. I don't know. what to do. Be honest with your son. Say, you know, I feel bad about those. jokes I've made in the past. I'm sorry.

You know, going forward, be open with. me. I want to hear about who you're. dating. And. >> talk about guys with you. Be honest. And. that is going to go so much further with. your kids because yeah, you've lived. life before and you've been a kid. before, but it's your first time being a. parent. So, just be open and honest, and. as long as you're supportive and loving, that's what matters. >> I agree. >> I'm just on the verge of tears here. I. hate it. >> Well, it's been an amazing, amazing.

Pride episode, you guys. We have had so. many good guests, so many good stories, and I really do want to continue to. highlight all issues, you know, that. impact LGBTQ plus community. Hearing some of these stories could. change someone's mind. I mean, it could. open someone's eyes to being more. accepting and inclusive and loving. So, I hope that these stories reach someone. that needs to hear it. Everyone deserves. love. Everyone deserves happiness, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and.

all that. So, that's all I got to say. >> And welcome to fatherhood for me. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I mean, it I I feel I I I know that the. last read you'll figure it out real. quick and you you guys will be fine. Really well. And thank you for having me. on the show because I I don't get to. come on very often, guys. She kind of. keeps me in the closet over there and. locks [laughter] the door. Not. the closet on our Pride episode. >> Not because of sexuality. Just because. she thinks I'm a beast and an animal.

>> No, you're just I don't know what to. predict with you. So, we keep him over. on Father Knows Something. So, if you. want more dad, check out Father Knows. Something. You'll you're due for an. episode. You'll be back sometime soon. >> Yeah, she really limits me. >> And that is all I got. If you want more. of us, head over to Patreon. We've got. some amazing episodes over there. And. until next time, >> and if you haven't tried Father Know. Something, you can catch Justin, Morgan, myself, and others as we are doing our. thing over there. So, so until next.

time. [laughter]. >> Bye, guys. >> Bye.