Ari Shaffir: Growing Up Orthodox, How Joe Rogan Saved Comedy, and the Infamous Kobe Bryant Joke

somebody told me yesterday that you're. you lead the field among standups for. death threats yeah I was the first one. to get them how Central is Rogan to all. this to this to this ecosystem Rogan was. always passing money around really oh. yeah yeah he kept me in business for a. long time manager dropped me she was. also getting death threats at home. because you made fun of Kobe Bryant dude. Laker fans are [ __ ] do you ever get. people walking out of your shows yeah. all the time it's always a drunk white. woman I mean it is that's who yells at. me.

[Applause]. [Music]. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music]. somebody told me yesterday that you're. you lead the field among standups for. death threats yeah I was the first one. to get them why um.

I had this uh when I was yeah I don't. know what do you mean you don't know I. mean I don't know exactly so I had this. uh when I was starting in and uh. National andon was doing this like fake. fake um reality show pitches it was like. a the idea was they went up it was all. faked but they all found a box of. pitches for a reality show up in like. the offices of NBC or something but the. craziest pitches possible one was like I. can throw up on command another was was.

like i' watch that yeah yeah it was just. a guy who drun APAC and just like barfed. everywhere and mine was called The. Amazing Racist um off The Amazing Race. it was just like a super overboard race. they came to me with the idea and I was. like that's funny but let's like really. go for it if we're going to go for it no. but that was a thing I've seen that oh. you have the You're Amazing Racist yeah. going to the black convenience store in. a clan outfit yeah. yeah so either you get it or you don't. if you're mad I I can see why you get. mad but also like but why.

so over the top that of course you're. joking if I'm throwing oranges wait at a. Mexican yelling go back to. Africa that you can't see maybe or like. wait but you're Jewish I'm like right so. if I'm wearing a clown outfit and I'm a. comedian as a Jew wearing a clan outfit. probably not in the clan probably not in. the clan you see it's. ridiculous anyway so my buddy Duncan. Trussell who's a great comic and. hilarious and weird he um early websites. he built a website saying if you prank.

my friend Ari shafir um send him a prank. call um record it I'll give you 20 bucks. for the best one this is before all that. stuff came out so the National Lampoons. DVD came out and then somebody ripped it. to the Internet so pretty early YouTube. was like this without context of. National Lampoons just me going hi I'm. Ari shafir not the Amazing Racist let me. do this horrible thing right now um. anyway so people like saw it Googled my. name the first thing that came up was. Duncan before you even click on the you. know the Google search it just says AR. phone number.

so the was it your actual phone number. yeah yeah so the but it was pre- doxing. it was before any of that you know. before America got dangerous yeah so I. would just start getting phone calls it. was great like what I'll [ __ ] kill. you you think you're so funny one of. them was I picked up a bunch of uh. Latinos Mexicans saying I want you to. fix my deck and then drove them to the. ins. building start yelling L Migra and they. ran out whatever whatever it was funny. nobody was hurt in the making of it but. people took it seriously people took it.

seriously my favorite woman was I'll. build a deck in your ass. Holmes I would just get calls all the. time I had to put my ringer on mute but. do you think I mean they weren't serious. though none of them were real so when. now when people go I've been threatened. I'm like shut up this isn't a real thing. I've been getting it for 20 years but do. you think anybody was actually. offended it's instructive because I got. I would get a few like messages Facebook. back then or Myspace even and it was. like um [ __ ] you you're a piece of [ __ ].

I'm Mexican how dare you and then I'd. like right back like you know it's just. a joke I actually paid all those guys 50. bucks and took them back to where they. working um like nothing actually. happened um and I drove to a library. wasn't even like you know it just looked. like the ins building um and then they. would respond like oh okay I actually. did think it was funny I laughed when I. saw it I'm like so we went from laughing. when you thought to threatening me. because you're supposed to and that is. what it is right people feel this like.

moral obligation to be mad about certain. but your real reaction is you were. laughing so do you ever get people. walking out of your shows yeah all the. time all the time why do you think they. do that number of reasons too dirty is. the main yeah I don't want to hear about. sex you know so that's that's an okay. one yeah it used to be the dirty Comics. were like it's cheap you're dirty oh you. talk about [ __ ] and it was like okay. fine and so then the clean comics were. like I'm a well-written comedian I can. do you know whatever. um and they just look down on us but it.

wasn't a moral thing right now it's a. moral thing they put them on a moral. High Ground they put these people on. moral low ground so like you're kind of. evil for doing it not just like cheap or. easy you're you're wrong you are wrong. you're immoral yeah and it's like but. it's the same thing so sex is one sex is. one I mean I remember I had a I had a at. the comedy seller I'll H people walk out. all the time the the door guys laugh. about it they're like every time. somebody leaves crying it's you they.

walk out past me literally crying and. it's it's always a drunk white woman I. mean it is that's who yells at me what. is. that they well one they. suck why do you think they've never had. any problems so they had the slightest. problem like this is the worst you ever. see rich people that were like they're. like my flight was delayed I they like. shut up you sat in first class and your. flight was delay an hour and you're. bitching shut up so you think it's just. like any inconvenience theyve never. right so this is the worst case scenario.

is a slight inconvenience I had to hear. something I didn't like to hear but in a. functioning Society you like you have a. man at home to calm you down maybe. that's part of the problem well you yeah. you so you see it at the shows the man. that's with them sometimes is either. like quiet or they're they just like. like you could see them resigned like. you deal with it bro I'm not going to. [ __ ] I got to live with it so if I tell. her to shut up I got to this is a month. of pay do they Heckle you yeah they bit. mad so I had a lady walking outside like. maybe a year ago and I remember like oh.

this lady got really mad I didn't notice. it but like she was really. mad um and I was like which joke was it. Holocaust stuff was it Down syndrome. stuff was it the war in Gaza stuff like. it could have been any one thing and and. it's not all of them it's the only thing. that you feel personally like this is. the line is the one that walk out on and. I I didn't think anything of it and then. I was hanging out had a drink up there. and then I left like 30 minutes later. and this is always the F they want to. tell you that they were right and I'm. walking out and I pass by some woman she.

goes you're a piece of. [ __ ] what I've gotten that what did you. say the lady I just started laughing in. her face and walked away I'm not going. to give her an argument so she stayed to. tell you that yeah yeah yeah it's funny. when they leave and then stay it's it's. it used to be just write a shitty yel. review if you didn't get the service you. wanted and how did she respond when you. laugh at her they can't understand it. they like no you should be mad I'm like. I'm not combating you I I was just. making jokes everybody else was laughing.

I'm just doing this for everyone for the. joy but it's also funny when you walk. out angry we're all laughing at you for. not getting it and it's you never rise. to the bait I have before yeah but it. it's never a good idea no it's not a. good idea yeah it's and it's also it's. just fun to toy with them you know to be. like I think you're right and I will. learn from this it's just fun to [ __ ]. with them sometimes has it gotten better. or worse it feels like people are Freer. say what they think all of a.

sudden yeah you know internet everyone. feel they have their 40 followers so. like they're celebrity the small. celebrity feels like the strike zone is. wider than it was two years ago what do. you mean Strike Zone I mean you're. allowed to say more things or there are. fewer umpires or they're just we're. allowed to say more things or angry. people allowed to say more things. everybody's allowed to say more. things it felt like they for a while. there only like four things you were. allowed to say and now I hear people. giving opinions that way better than.

Millennials why. jenz okay so you ski or snowboard yeah. which one ski nice well obviously don't. snowboard I mean come on now yeah well. so I was a skier in what late 80s. snowboard started mid 80s yeah yeah and. everyone's like I'm not skiing that's my. [ __ ] Dad I'm a snowboarder it's cool. and then a generation passed and now the. kids are like I'm not snowboarding. that's for my father yeah so they go the. opposite way I just I I stayed true to.

skiing and it never changed you still. yeah yeah all mountains should be no. snowboard Ms completely agree I think. there's only one in theit jumping out of. the [ __ ] ala in Deer Valley too dear. Valley yeah yeah icons got it right. wreck the snow they wreck the snow they. slide down it's Mobile City after they. get done with it and they take out old. people which I will be soon jump out of. the trees have a spotter just have a. [ __ ] Spotter and they're too high. actually well little high is fine but. they're way too high I mean I've seen.

fell off a lift you drunk I was trying. to get on you know the thing where you. put your skis under you so I was like I. saw some cool like people do I was like. let me do that I was trying to do it but. then I started getting pushed you know. by the and I'm like trying to do it and. then I was just down that hurts it does. yeah your bindings don't release when. you follow off the ski lift yeah it was. on the floor though and then so I was. probably put my head up oh man just. shoved my head back down cuz it it was. going to drop it off so you think people. in their 20s are better than people in. their 30s 40s so anyway the these people. in the the Gen zers looked at the.

Millennials their ants and their [ __ ]. whatever and they're like you guys are. angry and we don't want to be like you. and they understand at least for standup. comedy like we know they're not serious. you guys didn't know they weren't. serious we know they're not serious so. when they. say I I don't know let's bring slavery. about let's give it another chance we. know you're you're being ridiculous we. know it's Jonathan Swift it's it's it's. fine so then they're like well now we. can laugh you don't mean that are you. ever offended by anything I mean do you. have a red.

line well I wouldn't like try to silence. it but some stuff is like no I just mean. is anything personally offensive to. you have you ever heard a joke where. you're like ah I'm not into it yeah. there's certain times if like if I just. heard my dad speak about the Holocaust. and I hear a holocaust joke I'm like. just not in the mood yeah um but there. are other times you're you're but also. I'll just quietly. leave or if it's like political jokes. I'm like I don't I don't get the. references here right I just don't.

follow it yeah I notic that at breakfast. this morning you're not covering falling. politics I'm like is that a good guy but. how are you going to deal with I mean. there are some political stories are. sort of unavoidable like the current one. with Biden like how are you like what do. you make of that with like the like his. physical condition his mental condition. I just hear people talking oh you. haven't seen any of it a little like. from from people referencing on standup. comedy Clips like Shane had one where. he's like talking about how he left the. stage real slow and he was talking about.

like I've done that drunk having to like. Sid step oh but you haven't seen any of. the video it's uninteresting do do you. live in this country yeah how do you. avoid that I do not for six years I. haven't read or watched the news really. if it's on I'll avoid I'll leave the. room why it's hatred it's it's terrible. it's puts you in a terrible mental state. for for some of you don't affect. everyone thinks they're making a. difference they're not I mean you had a. popular show on on like on major Network. yeah you also didn't make a difference.

Rogan doesn't make well I got fired yeah. but like this idea like I'm going to. change everything n the high level guys. who had a reach who had a reach maybe. you could cuz you reach a lot of people. I don't think I did but like I agree. with you you being upset about Biden or. Trump it's like what is it doing it's. gonna happen regardless it's like being. upset about the rain you really think so. so it's it sounds like you don't bu the. premise of. democracy listen it how should I say. this the black vote matters right one.

black vote doesn't matter right that's. that's correct yeah so it's just like. why get involved in Romania and Slovenia. they just had well or you just got back. from Australia yeah so like they I. always loved how they felt about it our. government's crooked we can't do. anything let's get drunk and do the. worst Coke in the world and that's what. they you you didn't really participate. in Australian culture but I didn't. participate it's mostly baby powder and. it's the most overpriced world too. cigarettes are $60 a pack it was wild.

yeah I left I bought a pouch and I was. like and then I was I I didn't think. about the price I was like ring it up a. pouch of tobacco yeah and then uh and. then uh I bought another one and U where. in Gold Coast and that was like 63 I'm. like no that's crazy yeah and he goes. That's how much it is and it's like I. thought it was like a tourist spot and I. was like [ __ ] up dude I just bought it. for 40 and he goes no you didn't did you. like the lung cancer pictures on the. package I did have to trade a pack cuz. I'm like this one's too grph it's too. gross you almost don't want to smoke.

give me a dead baby I don't I don't want. to see the the the missing T dead baby. doesn't doesn't hurt me well it wasn't. caused by smoking yeah it's caused by. the. ozone. so yeah I just don't pay attent it's. gonna happen regardless why why lose. sleep over but what about the idea that. um if you don't do anything about it. then it just gets worse and worse and. worse if Society doesn't do anything. about it it gets worse and worse if I. don't do anything about it it's not. going to change obligation to.

vote if you don't vote you're not. allowed to complain can I tell you. something that no one seems to get on my. side on if you think the system is. corrupt yeah participation in the system. is you co-signing the. system so it's like it doesn't matter. which side you're voting on this corrupt. they both lie to you two-party only. possibilities which is what they. revolting in in Hong Kong here's your. two possible choices only just saying. okay well I'll take this one is you say. yeah this system I agree with it and I.

don't agree with the system well at all. I'm sympathetic to what you're saying. I'm actually not dismissing you out of. hand because I think you're making a. pretty solid point the the problem. though is it could get to the point. where they show up at your house and. start hassling you directly who the. government to vote no no no to I mean. the government gets in the wrong hands. like it can be pretty intrusive I guess. so yeah but like here's two problems. with that one it's a worst case scenario. iio way of living right um I mean I've.

heard the Holocaust is coming back my. entire life this can lead to the. Holocaust George Bush could be Hitler. Trump was Hitler Trump was definitely. Hitler right everybody's Hitler and I'm. like I don't where where is this. happening um so it's like you hear these. worst case scenarios all the time they. don't come to fruition and also it's. like you still won't have any effect on. it when they were talking about going to. war with Iran they're like this is a. nuclear Holocaust and everyone was. bitching about it and I was scared.

and I'm like you guys can lose your last. days if there's a nuclear Holocaust. coming these are your last days and I. spend it skiing and you spend it arguing. online with a. stranger like who's God gonna say did it. right you know no that's that's that's. actually completely you're not actually. affecting it and if enough people. there's a whole book in the Jewish Bible. called Ecclesiastes that basically makes. this point really yeah interesting you. should Ecclesiastes what's that in. Hebrew do you know I don't yeah some of. them were like genesis I'm like I don't.

know that word I know the oh is thata. yeah they don't call it Genesis no so I. had to like do theonomy I was like H. which one is that again how long did you. spend in Yeshiva two years after high. school but my entire all high school did. you think you were going to be a rabbi. it's possibility really yeah it was like. Poss possibility what was that like it. was like in pre-law what do you do in. your Shiva by the way study pardon my. ignorance like what's the what's the. schedule like you wake up when and do. what that's part of your culture just to.

be ignorant yeah I'm not a chosen. person you wake up you uh do a little. learning um that's like Choose Your Own. Adventure that so it might be like. profits um one of the side books or. something um and then you pray then you. go have. breakfast um that's like breakfast ends. at like 9:00 so 9 to 1 you learn tall. mud then one to two is is this just.

independent study or just reading it by. yourself there's classes and then. there's also like and then also. independent but there's classes we're a. rabbi dude we had a rabbi who was like. teaching us one of the one of the books. of the gamar the. tomwood he's so smart I forget his name. oh that's embarrassing that's. embarrassing who is it I don't know but. to have you can check no it's all right. no tell me who called oh it's your mom. hold on hey he's busy right now I'll get. back to you later all right bye Miss by. Miss by Miss Tucker.

um that that's what she went by too M. Tucker um anyway he was teaching us and. then doing it really well and and then. somebody went to the bathroom and they. they came I forget his name let's call. him Rabbi Jew and uh they Rabbi Jew this. isn't the right book and he goes uh yeah. I forgot the I forgot the but I was tell. said I took the wrong one like you've. been teaching us from it the whole class. and he goes yeah he just knows it by.

heart it was actually like a John Irving. novel it was just a different track date. it was like the encyclopedia you're. doing the E and he's reading from FS but. he's still word for word on the ease it. was crazy so he'd memorized it yeah. which is it was an oral tradition it was. passed down orally for a long time what. was it. interesting the tud yeah oh yeah so many. fun so not fun but like yeah like I was. telling you at breakfast by the way guys. Tucker charlon feeds his guest breakfast.

of course I do yeah what's your podcast. do um yeah it was like if you. accidentally kill uh someone like you. have to replace their their their wife. you have to pay their wife this is what. I was talking about and like a a a. doctor's wife you pay more than a. garbage man's wife and then it's all. arguing like is a is a garbage man worth. less does he have less value than a. doctor and then it's like the arguing. arguing arguing it's like no you're just. trying to like you have a responsibility. to keep her way of life to keep her like.

richness there so you have to pay her. based on her income it's kind of like. divorce now do do you debate this in. class yeah so you debate it you talk. about it then there's secondary rabbis. who all wait in and no no but do you. debate it at Yeshiva does do the. students say you know what I just don't. agree with this at. all are you allowed to debate the yeah. yeah 100% it's all based in like say. what you think is not right here there's. a Philip Roth book conversion to the. Jews uh it's a short story yeah I never. read it it's about uh it's pretty good. and uh and uh yeah Philip Roth and um.

Po's complaint guy yeah um and it was. just about this kid in Yeshiva in. Brooklyn who was like I don't understand. if God couldn't create everything the. animals and light out of Darkness he. goes that one always got me there was. there was darkness and he made light for. the first time I always got me and he. goes why couldn't he make a son they. like no God can't have a son he like but. why he did all this other stuff how come. he can't you're supposed to ask these. questions. so there's no penalty for there's no.

penalty it's based in for 100% you. should be asking questions we should. have answers if we don't then your. question is correct and sounds like a. great education it's great ask every if. it doesn't make sense you got to ask and. we should have an explanation you. shouldn't be like don't ask this stuff. how many a Shiva students become. stand-ups not many not many there's a. couple but not many it it seems kind of. like a natural training ground for it. it's it was so helpful that the logic. bases of it that between that and an.

English major where you're also just. same thing kind of analing what what's. he doing what does this mean um it's. just a great way of looking at humanity. and then like writing a joke about it. what do your rabbis and classmates think. of what you. do well so it's it's the religion part. and it's also the culture part right so. the culture part was like what are you. doing you're not making a living this is. ridiculous this is embarrassing think. you were making a living I wasn't for 10.

years you know temp jobs and whatever. really yeah it's what kind of temp jobs. I worked for the Beverly Hills Chamber. of Commerce. um I just did like data entry in. different places um moving boxes this in. commercial I got started booking. commercials for a while I had a weird. look that helped but that was like five. six years in was just poverty which but. it was also great training because now. you seem. pretty immune immune to finances to the.

dangers to the dangers yeah you have. money but you seem kind of I don't know. you well enough but you seem like you're. resistant to letting it I was talking to. you about Jake Hanmer hand he won't take. he won't take uh advertising money so he. doesn't want anybody pressuring him to. cover yeah I don't think should worship. money I'm opposed to that yeah I don't. think it makes you Happ debt makes you. unhappy right money does not make severe. lack of money makes you 100% that is. real but I was broke for long enough I. don't need these things anymore I'm.

happy with like oh I got a Nile seed you. know I don't need to fly private or. first class it's it's nice but like not. I don't I sleep in hosts you know I love. that yeah it's. it's yeah so I'm free of it and it frees. me up to do fun things so you took that. experience and did a special on Judaism. mhm yeah you got to watch it why'd you. do that I mean I've been looking at this. stuff for forever and I just wasn't good. enough to do it but it was always on my. mind if you're wondering how big Tech.

got powerful enough to void the First. Amendment to the Constitution of the. United States how to get big enough to. nullify the founding documents of the. most powerful company in the. world well simple they got really rich. money is power well how' they get rich. from information your information which. you keep giving to them how do you do. that well every time you use the. internet unprotected your hand in all of. your online activity all the details.

about you to Silicon Valley which sells. it including to government agencies. which use it to spy on you that's why. it's probably not a good idea to go. online unprotected not just for your own. sake but for the sake of the country how. do you fight back well with. expressvpn expressvpn is an app that. encrypts and reroutes 100% of your. network traffic through secure servers. what does that do well it makes. everything you do online unreadable to.

your internet provider and then to data. Brokers and to the government agencies. that buy that data that means anyone out. there trying to profit from you and your. personal data can't well how do we know. it works well we know for a fact it. works because this winter when my. producers and I were in Russia. conducting interviews including with the. president of that country internet. traffic was getting blocked by the. government so we got an Express VPN. account and we're a able to get that. interview out of the country securely.

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Tucker that's Express. expressvpn.com. Tucker for three extra months free and. we hope you will the non-jews have seven. laws of Noah that's all you got to do. and you get into heaven and they're. pretty easy they're great they're pretty. easy don't eat an animal while it's. still living exact should be a. no-brainer don't kill don't kill harder. for some people but not others don't. rape even harder for some people but. most are still on the right side of it I.

forget what the other ones are adultery. yeah it's not that hard and you get to. go to heaven and you'll be right. alongside a rabbi well not only that. they're they're like very reasonable. yeah they're not like hard ones to do no. they're they're all kind of rooted in. natural law no I I read that and I yeah. when you convert they're like what are. you doing this for you're just going to. make it harder on yourself you're going. to heaven already know that's. interesting okay you don't feel there's. any contempt at all in that there. becomes contempt you know. at the end where it's like well you're.

not in our group so kind of [ __ ] you but. that's not in the law I mean even Jesus. is like accept everyone take them in. right but people don't really do that no. you know not at all yeah so but the I. think I do think that the Sabbath laws. are you know like if you're using. somebody else to do something that. you're not allowed to do yeah well I. talk about the loopholes in that special. where it's like you're actually not. allowed to fully ask them can you turn. this light on because then that's like. you're doing it. it sure is dark in here you know I'm not.

allowed to turn the lights on N are. allowed but uh I can't do it it does. suck I want to. read it's so Loop holy it's great um but. what was the moment where you decided so. you can't use electricity I was in a. dorm room in a in a in aiva that's. closed now in ban Jerusalem and there. was a light a reading light above my bed. and you could use that to like read tomw.

before you go to sleep or whatever left. it on on chabas and what I was going to. do was take a a handwashing cup there. like a ritual hand washing you do in the. mornings and before uh bread um and I. was going to put that over the light it. was like this this like little ball and. I was going to put it over like drown. the light so light's still on it's just. drowned out the cup kept falling kept. putting it on there it kept cuz it's. round the bait it just kept falling off. wouldn't stay on and the light was in my. eye and it was frustrating you want to.

sleep and you can't and at some point I. was like I'm just going to turn it off. it's Friday night I'm not allowed but. then my so the the entrance to the. Yeshiva was like right here my window is. right here so anyone coming in or out. would see my light go off and they'd be. like we're all super Orthodox Jews no. light can go on or off we'll we'll. noticed that on a Friday night and I was. like ah [ __ ] I'll get caught I'll get in. trouble if I do. this so I didn't do it it didn't even do. it didn't break any.

law but I thought about it for like a. couple years the fact that I was more. worried about a man getting me in. trouble than God when it's God's law. it's not man's. law um jaywalking sure I'll make look. for a cop before I do that you know but. but the Sabbath stuff that's all just. God I shouldn't give a [ __ ] about Jews. seeing me um there's in the Torah. there's like a a worse punishment for. someone who steals in secrecy than it. steals brazenly cuz at least it's. stealing brazenly exactly you're not.

worried about man catching you exactly. and you're like well [ __ ] God either way. but but I don't give a [ __ ] about man so. the fact that I was more worried about. people getting me in trouble than God. and I was talking about I was like I. don't think I believe in him or I. wouldn't have done it if I believed. there was this like you know old man in. heaven saying don't do this it'll be bad. for your mortal soul I just wouldn't do. it uh compared to like if your dad's in. the room you don't masturbate right. because you believe he's real of course. and his reaction is pretty obvious what.

it would be but you're not just going to. start jerking like oh the [ __ ] I didn't. know you were real that you know you're. 100% sure he's real and I wasn't sure. God was real and I was just like and. then I just looked more and more and I. was like think I'm. out maybe the lesson is you care too. much what other people think maybe maybe. right no I mean that's another way to. look at it yeah yeah so anyway so my. friends got mad they're like no you. can't leave religion like well if you. don't believe in God take the Torah the. holy sacred scroll and throw it in the. floor which is like if you see it fall.

you to fast for like I don't know how. long um and I'm like no I still respect. you guys I'm not going to like it's so. rude you told your friends your a few of. them some were angry some were like. disappointed nobody was like. cool. nobody what' your parents say pretty. mad yeah they were like well you're. going to lose the culture they're all. fine now so in hindsight it's fine but. they at that they're totally fine now.

it's just like but at the time they were. like what the [ __ ] they were really mad. it was like uh yeah they were like even. a dog believes in God that's true you're. lower than a dog did they say yeah yeah. but I was like show me that research. what are you talking about who's done a. study on that um but totally fine now so. how did you decide you want to go into. stand up from there I always kind of. liked being the Joker uh and then my. friend ammy Butler was uh he was like. you should try it should try stand up so. you moved back from Israel moved back.

from Israel went to University of. Maryland couple years no first went to. Yeshiva University in New York that's. where I kind of like fully lost the. religion and I'm like what's the point. of paying for a split curriculum yeah of. course college so I switched to State. School um got laid for the first time. ever yeah it was [ __ ] it's nice if. you haven't tried it you should [ __ ] I. it's great BR it's great you're busy. destroying Democrats Jewish girl uh no.

no I have oh so you went all the way out. then they look too much like me you know. it's like [ __ ] a. miror it's not the. best you're like I'm legally not allowed. to join in on this um yeah I went yeah I. just had it was nuts was so CR got a. [ __ ] oh did you call your friends. back and the she and tell them no I did. not I did not we I'm friends with a.

couple of them still um but not many. it's just a different world now plus. they all have kids it's like Co how many. of them got married all of them all of. them yeah so everybody gets married. everybody gets married yeah at what age. and have kids sister got married at. 20 wasn't that like crazy it was just. like a touch early but not really but. all those marriages seem to survive they. really do right it's interesting well. I've noticed that yeah what's the. divorce rate among Orthodox Jews so we. had one divorced couple growing up in my.

neighborhood and was like whoa can you. believe it they're. divorced we thought it was so nuts and. then when I got to University of. Maryland and everybody's parents were. split and I was like what so what works. better I I guess it's what you're. looking for in your marriage where it's. just a union to like be a family unit. and raise kids is the most important. thing so like this is fine this works. for that or it's like do I want. fulfillment and. like yeah you don't think they're. fulfilled I think if you're all you want.

as family then yeah you're fulfilled you. got a great family you know you're part. of the. community but if you're. like yeah they say it's like it's like. misogynist Judaism because the women. just stay at home but I'm like no. they're there to raise the family right. it's not like you're not allowed to work. it's like this is your part this is his. part you're he's raising money for the. family you're do you think a lot of. Orthodox mothers secretly want to work. at banks no I think they do yeah exactly. this isn't Fun and it's voluntary you.

don't have to join this lifestyle right. yeah right well if you're raised in it. you kind of. do it's not legally but you know do you. ever have any regrets you didn't become. a rabbi. no no uh-uh no I'm having a great time. some of them will look down on me and be. like they'll be deme like you'll be back. and like talk down to me and it's like. you guys [ __ ] suck you don't think. you will be back. no what to what I don't know I if you're. getting your dick sucked that's totally.

illegal in that religion is it really. yeah it's wasting seed roal sex is. illegal yeah I didn't know that it's. wasting seed condoms are illegal but the. sheet thing is not real sheet thing's. not real this all and arish shaer Jew on. YouTube now um so you got to the bottom. of the sheet. rumor I was fooled That's How Strong a. rumor it was really I was fooled did you. ever talk about that in. Yeshiva no but I thought I had a rabbi. who definitely did it and and my friend. was like that's a false memory no way.

cuz it doesn't. exist who spread that rumor that's a. pretty uh I think it comes from SE seed. it's like this um when so there 613. Commandments God I lived in this for for. [ __ ] five years I forgot about all of. it and then I lived in it for five years. trying to like go over the stuff again. and then I just put it behind me again. when you mentioned tomwood and I brought. out Stein salts out of like I don't know. where that came from I was very. impressed yeah I didn't know what the. Tet was yeah until pretty recently I'm. reading it actually think it's really. interesting it's very interesting but.

there's this so one of The Commandments. you try to do as many as you can some of. them are uh big Temple based so you just. can't anymore because we don't have a. temple um that's in 70 AD boom uh. they're going to have another one the. Messiah they say so those laws will be. back but you try to do as many as you. can they're good deeds and they're bad. Deeds but they're all like. Commandments um 613 of them one of them. is if you have a four corner garment a. poncho you have to tie these tassels to. the end them so sometimes you'll see. strings coming out from okay so they.

make themselves a four cornered garment. so that they can do that commandment you. know and it looks like a t-shirt. underneath underneath their shirt it's. like you don't even need it but you're. like here's our chance to wear it um. have you ever worn one oh yeah all the. time is it comfortable it's neither here. nor there it goes in between a T-shirt. and your. overshirt So you you're barely even. notic oh so you're wearing three layers. yeah that's a lot yeah that's why they. smell they don't [ __ ] wash their [ __ ]. how is that they don't do they is that.

they do smell what is that it's just. like soap is. expensive so I always thought that was. that was bigotry from from secular Jews. are always yeah yeah yeah no they do. smell a lot it's also like you're. wearing you're [ __ ] dressed like. Johnny Cash In The Summertime it's gonna. [ __ ] it's gonna stink after a while. you gotta watch that all time Jerusalem. in August is oh oh it's disgusting it's. like [ __ ] yangan that's actually true. yeah yeah the Jerusalem Tel Aviv they. have more shower.

Centric amazing it's nuts when you get. up the road from Tel Aviv it's a windy. road and you soon as you get over that. Hill it's [ __ ] it it's a costume party. it's fidd on the roof it's the best it's. so weird it's like you're living in an. ancient time it's the most interesting. place on the planet yeah three religions. three and a half coming together on one. little small area of an old city three. and a half it's like two different kinds. of. Christian I heard that but yeah they're. pretty similar the Armenians and the and. the. ethopians Greek Orthodox Catholic yeah.

Protestant but in the old city it's like. yeah yeah anyway whatever I don't know. enough about him. um do you still have your outfits anyway. so here's where it came from no I don't. have any of that but like uh so you wear. that four I think they were hanging up. to dry and it's a sheet with a neck hole. in it yes and I think just some racists. were like they probably [ __ ] through. that that's what that is oh and it just. cut. on interesting yeah and the whole was so. big that the Jews are like let them let. them run with that.

rumor it took you 5 years to write that. that special yeah yeah and some of the. jokes were even older what's your. process for writing it this one was way. different cuz I had to I never have to. fact check my my jokes I can be an idiot. in my jokes I can normally I'm allowed. to say um David Trump and people like. it's Donald Trump like oh I don't know. it's fine if I'm I've got the facts. wrong you know I can be a [ __ ] it's. actually sometimes I try to like.

misspeak so that like don't trust me on. this I'm not an expert I'm just making. fun of it so I'll try to like throw in. wrong details who came up with the idea. that you only vote in November in. elections no you vote every single day. with your time and your money you show. your preferences you put your support. behind things you believe in and you. withhold support from things you don't. you can do that with your cell phone by. the way there's a Wireless company that. if you're not on board with what's going.

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money back guarantee it makes switching. easy go to Pur talk.com Tucker and. you'll save an additional 50% off your. first month once again that is Pur. talk.com Tucker to switch your cell. phone service to a company you can be. proud to do business with but like how. do you write it do you write it out by. hand do you paste your go stage so I. started this one was I would go to this. the the seller the comedy cellers had a.

small room and I would do an hour and I. would do like I had like 20 show minutes. something on Noah and the flood um. that's where it started with just became. my closer in the end um and then a. couple other bits and then I said okay. I've already set up now that I can make. jokes about this stuff you guys see I'm. not serious about it do you have any. questions about Jews that you wanted to. know like anything I will answer and. I'll try to riff and make it funny. something I used to do with this guy Don. bars a long time ago we do ask a Jew we. call it je and a uh late night at The.

Comedy Store and it started with like. hey you know yeah I can be a resource. and and then all the commedians would. sit around the room and they'd ask. questions so first it was like um how. many Commandments are there I'm like oh. good question 613 like okay someone else. like yes question like if juw is. supposed to be such good writers why is. his diary and Frank so [ __ ] boring. like okay well it's a bestseller for. [ __ ] uneducated girl for 30 years or. 50 years so you're wrong about that hey. what goes in the place of your soul like. all right well. nuda would say that there is no such. thing as a soul but uh diamonds diamonds.

go there and then we just [ __ ] around. occasionally we get people complaining. like they were so rude to that man but. it was all just comedians J and a yeah J. and a it was a lot of fun um do you. still talk to the Jackal that birth you. it's just like I'm like oh that's a bit. offensive but it was all my friends it. was so fun late night at the store was. so farun Jack. that so as the mud person would you say. and I'm like well let stop you there um.

yeah we'd have this thing at the end of. it where um Don would go he would run it. he'd be like I saw a do I saw a. documentary on on the Holocaust didn't. seem that didn't seem that bad seems. like you guys are exaggerating I was. like I don't know man I what was it what. what was the documentary he goes It's. called Hogan's Heroes they seemed like. bumbling oos it doesn't seem like they. could have done any of that stuff we had. a smell that he goes can can you uh can. you smell money and I was like yeah I.

can um yeah it's just one of the things. we have and then we set up ahead of time. he was like all I need three bills one a. 20 and a 100 and then he like crumpled. up a turn and I but we all knew the. order so the crowd didn't know and I'd. smell like that's like a that's like. it's got a Nutty. Aroma hint of Saddle leather yeah it was. like is that like a I think it's a 20. and everyone like I got it one in three. shot you know and then it then the H. like oh I love that smell I know what. that is and then he showed me the one. get it out of my face it's disgusting.

yeah so wait what was I going with this. [ __ ] what did you ask how you write it. oh right so I just asked people so it. kind of birthed from that I asked people. what questions do you have and sometimes. like what's with the wigs I'm like oh. okay well it's it's a loophole you can't. be attracted to your neighbor's wife so. hair is something you're attracted to so. you cover up your hair so it's not your. hair it's some [ __ ] Asian lady's hair. you know is actually better hair it's. weird but it's not you it's s Lee um and.

you just do stuff like what the what are. the pillows I'm like what pillows what. do you mean oh it's your [ __ ] bag. that you have for your for your Talis. your filling that you carry it looks. like a pillow to them I never it's just. there was a way of looking at stuff like. and so the same questions would come up. over and over again and I'd riff try to. be funny and I'm like if the same. question keeps coming. up this is something I should cover and. if a question came up once ever then I'm. like all right that's just one guy one. of is like why are Jews afraid of cats.

I'm like that was just one Jew you knew. bro that's not a stereotype that was. just one Jew um and so I would just try. to cover everything afraid of that's not. a thing 100% it's not a thing um so yeah. I would just try to and then I would try. to tweak it and tweak it and tweak it. and then I'd have to do this thing where. it's like I had to see if I was wrong. which I don't ever do in my standup but. it had to be correct I couldn't be wrong. about the religion yeah yeah yeah so. like I started doing a bit about that. [ __ ] threw a hole in a sheet and then.

my friend was like that's not a true. thing I'm like [ __ ] I had other rabbis I. had this giant bit a closer about Noah. and his and his his 40 he had 40. children and how his wife was a real. hero because her [ __ ] must have been. blown out and then a rabbi in Copenhagen. was like Hey loved it the whole thing he. didn't have 40 kids and I was like no he. did he go no he had two two son I forget. now two sons and three daughters. whatever it was yeah yeah and their. husbands yeah and it was like it just.

wasn't 40 I was like no he goes he goes. I don't mind I don't care I'm just. telling I love the whole thing I just. telling you that wasn't that's not right. and I had to lose it I had to lose a. [ __ ] five minute like crushing chunk. because it wasn't correct any other bit. I was doing I just like ah [ __ ] it I. made up a detail but why were you. factchecking your own stuff it had to be. CU I was doing a thing about a religion. I was doing a factual informational hour. which I've never done did you have any. complaints yeah but like real ones any. campaigns against you no that's in melan.

it was that thing of like this is hate. speech you're calling them. inbred I'm like no it's loving all the. Orthodox jewes thought was like little. too much cursing for my taste but. nothing's really wrong in here it's it's. respectful so who was saying that it was. a love letter to my religion sounds like. it actually in in my artistic way in the. The Comedy way but people can don't you. think people can smell the intent behind. well that's what it was so it was like a. couple outliers are like let's look for. something angry in the world but she's.

like that's all of Twitter I love how. I've been telling people to get off. Twitter for so long and they're you go. on it no it's a Cess pool and and it's. like people like oh what Elon Musk is. finding like no no this way predates he. hasn't gotten rid of the negativity on. there it's hey look there's this cool. telephone po you know a lot of people. die in the making of that there's not. enough trees to go around and it's like. Jesus you guys can find the [ __ ]. terrible in everything so do you do you. use the internet yeah I. mean.

yeah you know to see if Like a Pill you. found in your closet's good or bad. expired yeah you know something like. that like what is this well but you. don't spend time looking at other. people's opinions online no you still. see it though it seeps through if you're. on Instagram and just like you see. people weighing in on stuff it just like. it kind of comes into your into like. what you think of the world so you think. that the reason everybody hates. everybody else is because of the. internet yeah. it I didn't understand it you saw that. movie that.

um half documentary a little bit of like. whatever like what's it called the. social experiment I never saw it oh you. should see it so the acting parts are. kind of hokey but it does illustrate. like in real time what this would be. like somebody like lost on their phone. as his chick he likes is like looking. for someone to talk to and he's like. lost on it so it's just a little acting. scene but it's just like one possible. reason why you getting lost on this. instead of talking to your neighbor on. the bus you're like let me. yeah it's like and these are the light.

problems you know when I moved to New. York I was like how do you make friends. and my friend was like go to a bar order. a beer drink it at a regular Pace order. another one Midway through the second. beer you'll be talking to someone yeah. that time is done is it really yeah you. look up to talk they're down on their. phone and then then they look up to talk. and you're on your phone and you just. keep missing the. connection it's like boy that's I. haven't been in a bar in a while that's. depressing depressed yeah no one's open. to meeting new people and hostiles in.

like southeast Asia are still I hear. they're slipping but like it's still. that they can't afford an internet plan. so yeah for a while I got rid of my. smartphone I had a flip phone for a. while and um so you're like Ted kazinsky. level. anti-tech no I'm on a smartphone now and. it's ruining my life how I'm not present. I'm wasting time no it's right you look. at your your your time used on a on an. iPhone it tells you you think they'. cover it if it's over 45 minutes a day.

it's too much and it's for most people. it's between 4 and 8 hours every day. that you're wasting eight hours is. sleeping two hours is eating so that's. 10 so you have 14 hours left and four. just eight of those are staring at a. [ __ ]. screen it's it's we're all we're all. losing it we're all losing our lives you. should just be calling a friend it. do you call friends sometime it's fun. when you have old friends when you like.

text they text back text text back and. eventually they call I can't do this. anymore we just talk it out and you're. like this is what it should be so when I. had a flip phone it was this you know. you miss the button you'd miss the T and. you have to go around again and and keep. hitting it till you get the right letter. and it takes forever to text anything. over two sentences I'm just going to. call you and deal with it so you don't. text no I'm on a I'm on a smartphone now. so now I text constantly but when I had. that flip phone it was [ __ ] I got to. I got to [ __ ] do it I got to [ __ ]. go back why' you get off it I was.

promoting something and I thought I had. to and it it [ __ ] ruined my life it's. the worst so you've actually taken. breaks from the internet well so when I. went to Southeast Asia in. 2017 I changed all my passwords to my. email Instagram I think I still had. Twitter back then email Instagram. Twitter what else is there Facebook I. changed my password to this I just went. to the computer. and I cut and pasted that sent it to a.

friend and I said do not send me this um. wow my password was like you know just a. 17 syllable whatever I was like don't. send me this I don't want it I'll get it. when I come back uh I don't want to be. able to get in there so you didn't look. so I had no access to Facebook no access. to Instagram no access to email and then. I left my phone at home I called an Uber. to the airport and then put my phone in. my desk closed it and then I got Uber. and went really radical why' you do that.

it was the. best it was the best but why did you do. it. um it's like not something you do. accidentally no it's not something I do. accidentally that was the first time. I've done it I've done it since a couple. time went to Guatemala for 10 12 days. and I was like I'm not bringing my phone. on my. computer you're just way Freer you're. more social. but and I don't want to be connected to. America I just wanted to be like. floating you know I just wanted to be.

like as this level of freedom and you. follow the dead for a while yeah pre-. internet. yeah I found my wife pre- internet. really yeah what was just like a regular. mailin thing yeah just ordered her you. know right from Saigon with no reviews. went what a. time but I was trying to explain to. Rogan about it about leaving I was like. buddy I can't I can't I don't know how. to express it but like there's this.

level of Freedom it's like a second. level of like hey I'm I'm in wherever. I'm in southern Vietnam and I was going. to go to the north but I was just I was. getting sick of white people and I just. like where there no white people and it. was like Cho do it was like Southern. small town and I was like I'll go there. instead just the ability just swap. someone's like I heard there's a good. hike in me andmore you oh okay we'll do. that instead and just like you're just. floating meeting people talking. interesting talks you didn't feel.

helpless or afraid without a phone 100%. afraid really oh yeah I mean the first I. mean I almost came back right away I was. like this was a mistake the dopamine. dropped you know from from being on. there that's where they're trying to you. know get you on there so that dropped. and I'm like I I I'm not getting my fix. I was going through. withdrawals really yeah and I was like. this was a mistake I say so I went I. just I was like I'm not going to make. any plans I went I discovered I decided. a region southeast Asia it was cheap um.

was it going to be that or South America. so southeast Asia seems so foreign I. gotten to travel I did one one like. 17-day tour of China did you bring a. girl with you go by yourself by myself. China was fun so the comedians would. kind of like guide it for you the ones. that were out there they and once. somebody in Shanghai Turner Sparks like. by the way it's safe here like they. won't touch you here in China you can be. a drunk woman asleep with your [ __ ]. phone in your hand like passed out and.

you'll wake up in that exact position. untouched the the punishments for a. violent crime are way too much and the. embarrassment for their families is way. too much so once they told me it was. safe I was like oh all my like. xenophobia was gone I was like sick see. you guys later like you don't want a guy. I'm like uhuh I'm out and I would just. walk around discover I then I was it. blew my mind and I was like I got to get. lost again it was so cool so I wait I. got my I got every Visa I needed ahead. of time like Thailand's like on Landing. you get a Visa um some places are on.

Landing some places you need ahead of. time so Vietnam I think I got ahead of. time maybe Myanmar not Cambodia I think. that was on on landing and they were all. like good for six months a month any. six-month period you know for six months. any month as soon as you land so and I. just waited till like a day before I was. like where's the weather the best so. there was rain in Vietnam so no there. was rain in Thailand so no and then me. andar had like 10 clear days did you.

call home at any point no uh-uh so you. just basically disappeared for how long. four and a half months yeah God damn it. was [ __ ] great what was so great. about it it's that freedom seeing things. seeing the world new seeing a cultures. that were different than yours meeting. and I didn't meet locals yeah the. language is a real problem Asia but I. met Germans at the hosts I was at I met. people from England at the hostels I was. at you talk I remember talking in in did.

anyone recognize you twice one time on. an island in Cambodia I was walking down. this like kind of deserve Beach and. someone's like with their girl like Ari. shafir and I was like yeah he goes what. the [ __ ] man what are you doing here I'm. like you know same as you got from Henry. Rollins um later when he people like. what are you doing here and he goes I'm. here to meet you what's your story he. would just switch it around but I was in. aadia people like what are you doing. here I was like what do you mean in.

National Park here to hike here for the. exact same reason you're here. um um yeah twice ever which was also. great so I could be I mean I've told a. bunch of comics this I'm like you are. losing your sense of Reality by being. looked up to that's not the real that's. not the real world you don't understand. and when Trump got elected all these. liberals that I was around again I'm not. liberal or conservative. I'm this third thing the majority of the. country I'm the majority I don't care um.

we could hear them talking like how. could this like oh you've never got. under your limo I know a really rich. like Woman comic and I'm like you've. never been to Dayton Ohio you wouldn't. understand. disillusionment there's the recession. still going on in a lot of places you. got to get out and talk to people so I. remember talking. in Indonesia on an island it wasn't. Flores. I forget um but over breakfast this.

German guy and he was telling me about. um German workers rights and the five. week standard vacation time they get and. I was like what do you mean like first. year out of college he goes yeah five. weeks I don't know you do better after a. while he's like how much do you guys get. I'm like two weeks and you're expected. to not take. it and he was and I'm like what the so. that kind of like talking to people. makes you like realize oh some [ __ ] [ __ ]. that's wrong well you learn more about. your own country good and bad mhm I mean.

you're in some places and you're like. God I wish they did it the American way. right 100% And in other countries you're. like I wish we did that yeah I mean when. I got home I no the first thing I. noticed getting home was like the toilet. paper in my country is so [ __ ] soft. oh it's Superior it's like it's like God. takes the cloud and wipes your ass it's. like Angora yeah and I learned to. appreciate that yes yeah it's like Anor. exactly right but it does feel to me. well I having had you know a pretty. failed educational experience but that.

you learn way more from a month abroad. than you would in say a year in college. the Gap here I met these these four or. five Canadian checks 18 in in um in a. city in in um in. Myanmar and we're all just talking. everyone's talkinging everyone's so. friendly and inviting and hostiles. everyone's like they'll see you they. don't they're not aist they're not. sexists there's not even nobody even. pays for a woman's drinks they're like. no no my is my time I have left out here. I saved up 10 grand if I buy a drink for.

any and it's not expected it's so the. equality level is crazy but like you. want to play card you know cards we're. playing a game you want to sit in with. us there's not like who are you it's. they just don't have it there at. hostiles and I was talking to these. Canadian chicks and they were like we're. on Gap year and I was like oh we don't. get Gap year in America no but they're. like we don't get Gap year we just took. a year off it's not it's not a thing. it's not part of the curriculum I don't. know why we don't do it more in between. college and high school and college and. grad school that's a year to yourself so.

but weren't you worried about coming. back to 70,000 text Mees messages and. emails and yeah a little bit my manager. at the time was like What if something. big comes up I'm like I don't want it. tell them no for me it's like what if. something you'd want I'm like I want to. do this I want to disappear tell them no. I'll just have missed it what if there's. an emergency what emergency what if your. dad dies then I'll mourn when I get home. I don't need to mourn at the right time. why did you do this. again my mental places I in when I did.

it I just I was kind of having a fight. with Comedy Central they wanted me to. work non-stop oh you understand this. yeah they wanted me to work non-stop I. wanted some time off that friend Duncan. who who [ __ ] me over with uh with my. name on the internet with my number on. the internet didn't [ __ ] me over it was. a fun prank I mean he used to leave also. like glasses of piss in my fridge so. like so like whatever when I say [ __ ]. over it in the in the most respectful. way but um that's not a respectful way.

you're in the fridge not no that's not. respectful I did it to my friend Bobby. Kelly he was the one who called I pissed. in a bottle and put in his fridge he's. like what if my wife found this I'm like. right you would have been a lot of. trouble. um um what we say so you're fighting. with I like you got to work and I'm like. it takes me eight months to edit this. like storytelling TV show that I was. doing with other comics and I'm like I. need some time off and they're like no. we got to get back back to another. season so Duncan was like well you want. to see the world and this company you.

work. for does wants you to not see the world. so I'm like yeah you're right I got to. get out of here and I just like hey you. got I'm put trusting you to book the. show the next year I'm trusting you to. do this I'm out handle it as best you. can but it might get [ __ ] up you ever. read The Fountain Head yeah so when he. leaves for vacation things get [ __ ] up. oh yeah and he has to go correct it he's. got to blow some [ __ ]. up um but at some point you got to trust.

some people to like you'll handle this I. mean they're going to upload this video. right you could stand over their. shoulder no but you're like and you they. might mess it up they might not quite do. it the way you want I mean interrupting. where you're like I could tell you're. like I shouldn't interrupt you should. just get it right but then they they. have to make a decision you're trusting. them to do it so you can free yourself. up to do other stuff anyway trusted the. people I had to trust and just got lost. what happened to your brain not being on. text all day long God damn it was great. so when I first got a when I first got a. flip phone which was a halfway to that I.

was talking at The Stand Comedy Club I. was talking to Nikki Glazer before she. blew up yeah um but she was still. whatever funny comic and we were talking. before the Tom Brady roast before the. Tom way before the Tom Brady roast and. um and I'm friends with her but not like. good friends with her and I'm sitting at. the back table we're talking she's like. has and this is day one of the flip. phone like I think day one or week one. anyway she goes has it changed at all. what does it Chang change I'm like I. wouldn't be talking to you Nikki I'd be. on my phone looking for someone else.

this [ __ ] and and man I I I loved it. being out there in Asia with no. connection you're just there was one. time in this like northern city in. Thailand I I I met an American girl. started talking about Trump a little bit. and and then it's like it's the same. patterns of discussion and we both. looked at each other like we shouldn't. do this and we was like yeah let's not. where else have you been in Asia like. let's absolutely smart move let's switch. a. subject like what it yeah it's just like.

you may have come to the obvious. conclusion that the real debate is not. between Republican and Democrat or. socialist and capitalist right left the. real battle is between people who are. lying on purpose and people who are. trying to tell you the truth it's. between good and evil it's between. honesty and falsehood and we hope we are. on the former side that's why he created. this network the Cher Carlson Network. and we invite you to subscribe to it go. to tuckercarlson.com. podcast our entire archive is there a.

lot of behind the scenes footage of what. actually happens in this Barn uh when. only an iPhone is running Tucker. carlson.com. podcast you will not regret it did you. find a distance between what you were. expecting and what you found wasn't. expecting anything China for example you. said yeah so like China was like it was. so it was so foreign what but what did. you expect out of China and versus what.

I don't know I told my agent I was like. I'm getting this. itch to. travel if you find any foreign gigs let. me know I still wasn't making enough. money to really but I was making some. and he goes well I got you a 17-day tour. of of China Beijing Shanghai cities. outside Shanghai ending in Hong Kong. cities outside Hong Kong he goes doesn't. pay very well but you know the fly out. there hotels every night and it pays you. I think like I think it was like I it. was like three grand four grand and I.

was like buddy that's more than I was. making two years ago that's great and to. go see and it's just like tasting food. like what the [ __ ] is this seeing that. they don't take them bones out of their. meat they just Cleaver it all I was. picking up some chop like what the [ __ ]. there's bones in these pieces of meat. and they're like you need a fork I'm. like that's not the issue get the. eyeball out of my. soup um yeah and it was just like I. don't know what I was expecting but I. told you like I was at the Beijing. comedy scene was they they were in the. hutongs of Beijing doing blow and I was.

like isn't it punchable by death here. and they go they don't care about white. drugs they only care about yellow drugs. what are yellow drugs the Opium oh stuff. that that that the Chinese would would. lose their lives to they're like you. guys kill yourselves with Coke we don't. care we don't do that so it doesn't. matter you can't import it but if you do. it they'll somebody actually in the beij. thing got caught with Coke they stamped. a passport never allowed to return. return and sent them home she went home. steamed out that part of her passport.

went right back and they don't have. computer systems there so it was like. welcome to. China um but anyway we're doing coke in. the hutong having a good time and then. we're walking around it was like 3 3:30. a.m. it was hot this was like a June I. think and um went to a bodega and bought. like a 20 oun like Heineken and I'm like. you can't do that where I'm from you. can't buy a beer at night and walk. around with it but there they're like as. long as you don't skull anybody with it.

what's the issue just it's like having a. knife don't if you stab someone that's. now a weapon if you just have it to like. Whittle it's not a weapon right and then. there's like so it's like oh wow you can. do these fun and then my friends were. like can you get on Google and it's like. no you cannot you cannot search anything. but that's not a problem for you yeah I. mean still want to find out like where's. a good restaurant in town but I I I have. more fun just walking and finding a go. to restaurant you know it's like. Discovery is so it in other words sounds.

like it was Freer than you thought it. was so free and and then you learn how. to like adapt and overcome I was they. tell you to take a if you're in a hotel. this early I'm better at it now they. tell you to take a business C from the. hotel so you can show it to someone who. does not speak English get me home to a. cab driver did not it was World. Cup um and we're all at a bar watching. at like 2:00 a.m. I hooked up with this. chick who was there. Chinese no although I did hook up with a. Chinese chick she took me home and their.

dad came with a [ __ ] bat and chased. me out actually yeah yeah it was pretty. [ __ ] nutty yeah but you know no harm. no foul nothing nothing happened but so. you scampered out oh yeah yeah like. putting on your pants running you know. it was so [ __ ]. fun but then I had to like get this cab. home after World Cup and making out with. this chick and then I was like uh the. Sheran he's like I mean I may as well. just been. to him you know and I'm like the Sheran. that's Chinese by the way yeah it's. pretty close and then I remembered like.

a [ __ ] got he's like no I got to get out. of the car torrential rain and I'm like. [ __ ] I'm soaked to the bone another cab. the Sheron Hotel no understanding at all. I'm like [ __ ] and then I'm like it's. near the train station so another cab. and I'm. like he's like he said something and I'm. like sure and then until we got close. enough to the train station I'm like. forget that Shar I see it share just. that but you just figure it out I'm my. flipflops started breaking in.

um in uh that was that first trip but on. in Indonesia they started breaking and I. couldn't find 11 and a half size shoes. they just people don't come that big in. that part of the world they don't have. GMOs looked and looked and looked in. Cambodia found like a bunch of 10 size. you know flip and they're like they'll. stretch I'm like the bottom doesn't. stretch the top is stretches and not a. size and a half finally found some uh. some Quicksilver one in like a real. store and they broke they were fake they.

broke pretty fast it kind of flopped. whatever and I was like I was going to. throw them away but I'm like oh I can't. I won't find more shoes so you're like I. have to fix these shoes so you just go. look for superglue you just learn to. overcome situations the bus is gone what. do I do how do I talk to people in. another language so. fun just getting places by the end I. ended in East teamour. and I was like I should learn some of. the language some tetum I I talked to.

a Italian lady in um Indonesia and she. was really learning Bahasa uh Indonesian. she was like really good at it like. actually learning she hear a word she. like what's that word and you write it. down it was kind of. inspirational so I was like I got to do. that for for E team War so I could get. by I'm like place to sleep I know how to. say that uh remember. anything Fatam dis scansa it was like a. hybrid of like pugu I can't fact check.

that for you yeah thank you yeah so. you'd go to a small town and like Fatam. disa Fatam disa and they'd point you to. some place you get closer like Fatam. disa they there and like Fatam like yeah. come this way and they'd feed you and. give you a place for for five bucks you. know what's what's Myanmar like and why. is it no longer called. Burma do you know I don't oh so they got. a bunch of bad press from human rights. violations yeah like change the name is. that really why they rebranded the whole. country they moved the capital to the. middle of nowhere so no one could.

protest it's like moving DC to two hours. outside. Witchita really who's going to go there. to protest only the hardcor. people you know did it feel repressive. no uhuh because it was only certain. regions uh and foreigners are not. allowed to stay in those regions so it. didn't really come up they're also not. allowed to rent motorized vehicles. foreigners AR yeah so they had ebikes. they just worked their way around so. they had ebikes in like Bagan and places.

like that you can Ren an ebike just an. electronic bike they had to like it's. like a you know motorized golf cart. versus a. electric but there was one time we saw. there was a bus it took you like this. way. from inlay Lake to maybe mandelay I. forget and it took you way over here. then all the way back you know like this. route and me and a couple friends like. it's like three hours this way or six. hours but it's like 17 hours this way.

it's like n let's just get our own way. let's not take like a a bus let's take. like little shuttles and stuff so we did. we stopped halfway in like let's get out. of here some [ __ ] Tiny Town was cool. went to a hotel was like can we can we. stay here and they're just. like like looking at us and we're like. like do the Bell somebody comes up and. was like hi two rooms and they're just. like and they're just like kind of. talking to to each other staring at us. and we're like What uh is this a hotel. they're just like looking at us and.

eventually somebody like calls somebody. on the phone they like give me the phone. someone spoke English in the capital. yangan like you can't stay there. foreigners can't stay there how' they. know you're a. foreigner long NOS one of the Buddies I. was with there was like I don't want to. take my he's a photographer goes I don't. want to take my camera because they'll. know I'm a tourist he goes you're a 6'1. white guy in Me and Mar they're going to. know um she goes you can't stay there. you got to turn around I'm like no no we. just came she goes you got to go south. like we just came from South we're going.

north she goes no you can't like the bus. we're off the bus it's gone and I was. like well can we stay at a [ __ ]. um uh Monastery cuz like they sort of. have to take you in and she just started. laughing you can't stay in the region. and I started like I'm pretty good at. playing prend so I like I was pretend. poor while I was there I just like. whatever you guys's level is that's me. so when they're bitching about a $2 more. expensive hostel I'm like I know right I.

could like sell it to myself you know I. know it's the common people you could. call your father and he'd like end it. all um but I just ignored that so I'm. like crying I'm like but I can't we we. don't have we can't go south we're going. north I don't know what to do and she's. like all right she we'll call a local. minister to come and talk to you he came. in it's like all right we found another. hotel that you can stay in but he's. doing you a [ __ ] favor this isn't. allowed he's help helping you like okay. and then we're there we're walking. around my buddy shut down the market by.

just being white and walking through it. was like The Parting of the city they're. all doing their work and. like like what the [ __ ] is this guy. doing with love and admiration or Fear. and. Loathing uh it's like if you see. somebody s foot eight yeah it's just. weird yeah it's like what and you've. never seen a white it's crazy they're. like can you take a picture all through. Asia can you take a picture like yeah. sure you phone like no no I want to be. on your camera I want my image to go.

back to America I think it'd be so cool. you know hold my baby let me take a. picture you holding my baby it's crazy. they every black guy I know they're like. can we touch your hair no they wouldn't. ask they would just touch their hair and. he goes excuse me they're like right and. it was nuts but so we stayed at a place. then we started walking we're just. touring around we saw a statue on maps. me like a Maps app was like statue so. like all right let's go to the Statue it. was near an army base like a Juna base. which is like they have Rebels there in. these regions and some of them work with. the government some of them are against.

the government some of them have deals. with each other I I don't fully know I. wasn't there for the government anyway. we're there taking a picture hanging out. six or seven army people with machine. guns come out went right at us what are. you doing here nothing what are you. doing you taking pictures of that like. yeah it's just statue give me the. pictures let me see delete them where's. your passports like I don't know they're. back at our hotels let's go let's go see. them and they just just led us machine. gun style back to our hotel to get our. passports it's just this is a no.

foreigners region and uh was there I. mean anything worth hiding there that. you saw no no there's not like a secret. nuclear program or anything no it was. just some poor people with like. makeshift guns and like yeah and then. and then we got back and the people. there were like what wh Let's Play. Soccer we all tried to do the hacky sack. soccer thing they loved it I got violent. diarrhea and food poisoning there that. was more notable than the that's. required so 4 and a half months on the. road you come back to your country and.

what do you. notice okay that's a good question and. actually I can tie that into this this. Jew special. also so you see everything fresh when. you get back yeah clean Clear Eyes yes. you do yeah even probably what' you do a. month in Australia two weeks yeah two. and a half weeks even that amount of. time you're off it's enough time to be. like oh just force for the trees for a. moment. and it. was a little overcrowded yeah the cities.

even DC and the Metro I'm like this is. too industrial yes I went to visit my. parents first surprised them they were. like so stoked they haven't talked to me. I went right to them I just walked. through the door I was like what the. [ __ ] yeah it was really nice. um yeah it's O it's it's overbuilt but. also very. clean but but then also I was in I was. in France I took a writing class in. France I got back beautiful city Paris. um got back to New York I'm like there's. writing on every surface here someone. has graffitied every this city is.

disgusting compared to Paris like the. whatever around and Paris is pretty. disgusting yeah but that Old Town you. know yeah it's great part W yeah and. then it's like why is everything written. on why is everyone sign their [ __ ]. name on every [ __ ] surface but so you. notice those things like that you don't. notice so I'm trying to remember what I. noticed there it was just a lot of anger. a lot of hustle and. bustle toilet paper was soft. did it seem angrier than when you left.

well I didn't check my email right away. the lady I sent it to was an employee. back then I was like don't give it to me. yet I'm not ready for it. yet. um and then I did and it was like [ __ ]. it was over overwhelming amount of. requests I I would I would need and. people asking for things. even to weigh in on this or that I'm. like a lot of [ __ ] tasks I didn't. realize yeah I didn't realize how much.

respons that's what it was the. overwhelming amount of. responsibility and I'm not in a high. responsibility field you know that's. true yeah and it was just like needing. to return texts and emails and and. Weighing on this and pay your bill and. do that it's just. like it was so freeing before. so here's what I noticed when I did the. Jew special it was weird because I've.

never done this before but I was living. with a ghost for about 5 years I was. living with a guy who was dead that that. version of me isn't here anymore right. like the Yeshiva student the Yeshiva kid. yeah he's gone he's been long gone and I. was living there and trying to remember. this ancient religion an ancient time in. my life and I was lost in it was a very. lonely hour usually it's like in. relation to other. things and I finished it and I kind of. came up for air and I looked around and. everybody was very.

angry I came back into the. world and it was like everyone's mad. about everything yeah um my friends were. obssessed with stories that I didn't. even know were happening like. what there's some chick with no dicks. swimming with a swimming against other. chicks with with dicks like there. their their whole life is [ __ ]. worried about it and it's like none of. this concerns you none of this concerns.

you that that there's a trans swimmer or. that the covid vaccine or that the it's. like dude chill out all of you are mad. about every little thing and it was it's. like I don't know what happened in those. five years people got [ __ ]. mad I just came up and I was like seeing. it FR it wasn't like you don't want a. kid you see a 10-year-old you see him 5. years later like what you got so [ __ ]. big or 5 to 10 other people's kids yeah. but if you see them every month you. don't notice it so I was like dropped. out pop back in and everybody was at.

each other's throats everybody's so. actively. political uh uh I don't how do you avoid. that I don't read the news I try to. change a subject I try to. have I try to have tools change a. subject how do you change a subject how. do you focus must the only resolutely. non-political person with a public voice. left there's a few of us my friend big J. we were talking once we got a we did a. week together in Miami probably the. worst city in. America um I thought I heard it was the.

best who told you that a [ __ ] I don't. know real estate agent yeah exactly um. it's so disgusting they value only. Beauty no intelligence if you're a a. girl growing up in Florida they will not. reward your A+ in high school they will. reward your new hairstyle yeah anyway we. got a beach house we're talking he goes. I like Biden this was 3 years ago I was. like why do you like Biden you don't. votee he goes I hear about him less than. the other guy and I'm like what a great.

reason to like one over the other yeah. we do hear way more about this guy than. that guy what a if you're a. non-political I just want you to be away. from me you deal with. it um yeah you avoid it you learn how to. change a subject but aren't aren't a lot. of comedians pretty absorbed with it. yeah but we don't even know anything. yeah I've noticed it's like we don't. know anything we're weighing in here so. here's what I do it's like you start to. get an argument and we're like well. mainly my stance is I don't care but if. you're ask me to take a stance on Ford.

vers Chevy you know something that. doesn't matter what do you think's. better it's like well 95% of my reaction. is I don't know or care whatever I can. get a better deal on is good but with. that other 5% I'm gonna say I think. Chevy's better why I just kind of feel. that way okay so everybody's only. publicly weighing in on their 5% and not. their 95% which is I don't give a [ __ ]. no one cares about Women's College. swimming no one's ever cared about. Women's College swimming you don't think.

so no I didn't even know existed shut. the [ __ ] up and they're obsessed with it. they're [ __ ] Obsessed the ISU Women's. Amateur Aquatics [ __ ] off eat a dick. Shut up dude what are we talking about. what are the issues that get you spun up. uh the Yankees mid-season collapse. that's every [ __ ] year but I know it. doesn't matter I know this is fake I'm. not pretending it's like an actual real. thing you know I'll [ __ ] about somebody.

going to a slump but I know at the end. they like I'm just playing pretend angry. it doesn't really matter so there are no. issues that get you mad standup people. coming after. stand-ups um who's coming after standups. it's a lot of people it's uh it's an. interesting time for my industry tell me. [Music]. how I love this thing you used to do on. your on your TV show where you like play. dumb to get an answer it's really fun. it's actually really fun but that. doesn't interesting you you think you. would be rewarded for helping a old.

woman cross a stranger and you're saying. you were not rewarded that's that's odd. it's called invoking an. answer so I'm trying to pull back and. keep my many opinions out of it yeah. it's smart it's a good way to do it like. instead of like weighing in and go I. know you're right and weighing in it's. like keep talking well you know more. about this top no sincerely I I don't. know that I know a million standups and. I like a lot of them but I don't know. that much about your business yeah so. you had a lot of people it's it's worse.

when it's from the inside there other. comedians weighing and saying that. crossed the line publicly saying cross. the line yeah it's disappointing it's. really disappointing because it is. already a. battle um you're trying to get people to. laugh at like dark stuff really dark. stuff school shootings you're trying to. get them to laugh at you're trying to. find joy in a terrible thing 911 jokes. Holocaust jokes AIDS jokes rape jokes. you're trying to get into find. making fun break that down we're. creating fun you know people like you're.

making fun of this like right I'm. creating fun out of a terrible situation. um that guy Don bars used to run the j&. a yeah there was a time we had a friend. die Freddy stto died I don't know what. just in the Sleep one day really helpful. looked out for everybody really just. supportive guy when we all started um. and nobody could believe it I was like. what the f at the time I was banned from. The Comedy Store for beating up Bobby. Lee too much I was angry about a chick. and I was taking down on him and I was.

just every chance I get I was punching. him and they were like all right you're. out you can't be here and I lived two. blocks away and I got the call Freddy. SoDo died and I was like what the [ __ ]. and these bands always lasted between a. month and six months and then would end. you were always welcome back um but at. the time I was banned I was I it we. couldn't understand Freddy sod of dying. it's like it was the first one that died. that I knew of and it was like I. remember walking down the steps of my. apartment then just collapsing on the. steps and then like keep walk and then I.

met someone in front of the com another. comic we just hugged and we sat on the. on the on the sidewalk like with our. feet on the street or and just like. sitting there and Don bears comes up and. he goes I'm glad you're letting the band. be enforced you shouldn't be in here. it's good you're on the street it was. just a cathartic laugh he made fun yes. out of a terrible situation and that's. what some of us are trying to do others. are trying to do like funny like. lollipop jokes it is true that funerals. and wakes Memorial Services you know the. kind of the.

saddest you know get togethers that we. have they always wind up in hilarity. yeah do have you experienced that yeah. uh this guy Bob oshack who ran the. memorial for Freddy's hoto it was in the. main room of The Comedy Store and he. starts off he was like really good. friends and best friends they started. together and he goes you know this is a. weird time and he set the tone right. away he goes um you know I'm here um. it's just weird that it took Freddy. dying for me to finally get a main room. spot and just MIT he starts laughing and. it's just like it's just like Hey we're. going to enjoy this we're not going to.

cry we're going to but we're going to. try not. to so that's what we do and then some. people are just not understanding it. it's almost it's almost but other. stand-ups are policing their colleagues. they. fall it used to we just talk [ __ ] about. them it what I was doing a [ __ ] joke. a long time ago and Mark Mayon was just. like looking at me like whatever and he. goes you're smarter than that man that. sucks but he like I said wasn't he. didn't put me in a moral low ground him. in a moral High Ground he was just like. you're smarter than that but I'm like.

yeah smart people also like getting. their [ __ ] balls drained they can all. relate to it it's Universal it works in. Romania in China in America everybody. can relate to it I don't see a problem. with it some stupid jokes are fine um. but it wasn't a fight you know we just. talk [ __ ] about each other behind our. backs in a fun way Al that guy's just. doing like alt jokes he sucks he sucks. but like never go publicly about it now. it's this thing this moral ground you. get activated online where you just feel. like have you been attacked by other. stand-ups yeah yeah but.

also far more the real story is I've. been supported by other stand-ups yeah I. would imagine you know at at a 95% rate. they the Kobe Bryant stuff they for that. a few but even in that it was mostly. positive texts how you doing you okay I. thought that was hilarious and then a. few. Knuckleheads that's it who just felt you. got punished for that. yeah yeah. yeah yeah it ruled out I got a call from.

Milo going good one bro nice one you got. a lot of people mad I'm like thanks. buddy coming from you that's [ __ ]. awesome um so Milo appreciated it yeah. Duncan was like I think this might be. your best one I'm like I know I made I. made a I made a city. crumble yeah it was great I turned. comedians into Hypocrites they were all. like if you don't like a joke just walk. away and now these same guys because. they live in LA or they were black they. were like this is going too far I'm like.

haha you have no. ideals I found I found your [ __ ] it's. all oh just walk away if it's a rape. joke but if it's a [ __ ] about one of. your Heroes like oh no I don't like it. you've never been triggered now you're. triggered now you understand those. people walking out he's screaming as. they walk out it's also helpful for the. rest of us to know who they are the the. phonies yeah it's just like did you get. dropped by your man for that manager. dropped me she was also getting death. threats at home because you made fun of.

Kobe Bryant dude Laker fans are [ __ ]. they're not smart people they've only. had winners so they don't understand. what struggle is they're just they're. dumb they're bad people they're Laker. fans so how when she called you what'. she say your your man she's like I think. that's I think that's I think she might. have texted me she like I think that's. the end of the road for us um but I'm. getting these like the say they're going. to come to they doxed her they're like. I'm going to come to your house and rape. you it's like GH don't deal with that. get yeah get out of here what what are.

you guys doing they upped it they upped. it at that point I never seen them up it. like that where instead of going after. you they'll go after other people like. your loved ones to try to hurt you and. it's like what do they do what what what. do you just it's just idiots you know. online going let me it's like they're. all playing they don't even if they. actually saw someone they wouldn't do. that you know they actually nothing. actual in real life by the way zero only. online stuff and I tried to calm. everybody down I like guys I've been. getting death threats for two decades.

this isn't real this is gamer talk this. is just gamer talk that's true yeah the. best one was this guy was like if you. come to North Carolina I'll kick your. [ __ ] ass I swear to God and then an. hour lady wrote back he goes okay I see. you're in North Carolina right now but. if you come to greensbor North Carolina. I'm going to really kick your ass I'm. like no you took a shot already dork you. took your shot shut up do see you I'll. kill you I'm like my tour schedule's. there have some [ __ ] ideals come get. me do you worry about that I used to in.

the very beginning but it's it was never. even a [ __ ] you in person it was never. even a like you shut up [ __ ] you it was. never even that let alone actual. danger so you've never had anybody come. to your house or hassle you or anything. like that no no but online and they went. off to other people and so then but no. one I was never pun punish from any. moral your manager shouldn't drop you I. mean I felt sorry I feel sorry for her. hearing about it that she got threatened.

yeah but you're paying this person to. have your back in moments exactly like. this right yeah right so to abandon you. in one of those moments is pretty much. the greatest der elic of Duty imaginable. yeah we're not really friends anymore. yeah yeah um yeah exactly like you got. to this is the time just what's the. whole point yeah help me through this. it's not when you're like oh yeah and. then my producer pulled out cuz they. were like I was going to do that special. and then he was like I can't do it cuz.

he was in la la people thought it was. the end of the world and I was like what. no it's nothing even I even had a an. Uber driver I coming back from Charlotte. I was doing a gig in Charlotte when it. happened and I came back sat an Uber. driver and he was talking he was like uh. did you hear about this Kobe Bryant guy. I was like yeah he goes I was like what. do you what do you think about it he. goes it's just weird they're I don't. know it's like it's it's sad but like. it's him and his daughter and then seven. other people they don't seem to give a. [ __ ] about those seven other.

people and I'm like right R that's fair. you got it that's that's where these. jokes are when some celebrity dies and. I'm mocking them online it's because. like you guys value celebrity life over. a normal life well you also made a. pretty biting point I thought well I'll. tell you my reaction which is I never. criticize anyone when he dies okay right. so there's that but I'm not a standup. but I thought you made a totally fair. point I'm not against Kobe Bryant but he. was credibly accused of rape yeah they. hassled the woman till she dropped. dropped out right started spreading.

rumors about her seven other people see. an Insider like no during the trial. right and stuff we wouldn't hold by. today and he he admitted that she never. gave consent but he implied nonverbally. that there was consent and that he. strangled her so like there was. something there his words although at. the time I didn't realize I now know she. does not think she gave me consent it's. like all right so I'm not much that's. his word right I'm not much of a. feminist even I'm like no that sounds.

like great to me also I don't really. care what I'm doing is making fun of our. society well that's exactly exactly it I. haven't stayed up late worrying about. Kobe Bryant's assault uh either but. these are the same people who are. telling me to Value all women and. believe all women or whatever but they. actually don't care at all it was wild. and you made that point I Fair Point as. a Laker hater it's going well they're. not going to let him off like he'll be. going to jail hoping he would because. like I want the Lakers to fail yeah and. then when it became time for him to go.

to like he retired I'm like they're not. going to let him have a retirement. season The Women of LA the liberal. [ __ ] Women of LA are never going to. let this accused rapists get through his. [ __ ] Victory lap without mentioning. it and they were so cucky they just were. like no we don't go after black people. we only go after white people that's. just the way it. is so so this has been brewing inside. you for a while well I hate the Lakers I. just like whatever I had a bid on an old.

old album of just it was called hashtag. [ __ ] the Lakers and I was in Denver I. was like oh this is where he [ __ ]. raped that chick right here did people. laugh yeah of course why do you hate the. Lakers um I don't really it's just fun. but it's because they killed comedy. shows in La every time they're in the. playoffs it'd be up three 0 in the first. round and a game when they'd be the one. seed against an eight seed and you'd. have a show and no one would show up cuz. they all have to watch the F these. bandwagon fans had to watch the [ __ ]. Lakers oh so I'm like I [ __ ] hate the. Lakers nobody hates the Clippers no you.

know so it's like so you just like lean. into it like my number one team is anti-. Lakers that's totally fair number two. team is the Pelicans yeah when you tell. jokes in China yeah do you tailor them. to a Chinese audience and like what's a. funny joke in China so anywhere. else it's you get halfway through a joke. and realize ah [ __ ] you're not going to. understand this reference like you don't. even think about it a dog eating joke or. something like that no you don't do that. they were just like very clear do not. make fun of the government and I was.

like okay and they're like listen we're. going to tell you twice because I know. you're a comedian we're comedians we can. tell you that it's going to make you. want to do it don't do it we'll get shut. down there's a chance you get arrested. there's a chance we get arrested don't. do it it's not like it won't be it won't. work it's going to be painful for all of. us and I still did one anyway I was like. talking about anti-government at the. time and I was like my country needs a. [ __ ] M to come [ __ ] murder all our. Senators and they were like whoa whoa. and I was like no no it's prau it's prau. and like dud change the [ __ ].

subject yeah but anyway that Kobe stuff. some people just like weighed in and got. mad and they were like he shouldn't say. this I like [ __ ] off wait other standups. said that yeah a few like who I'm nah. but like uh they know who they are it. doesn't matter others were mad but just. like personally like dude come on man. Miss Pat called me was like Ari you. can't make fun of our heroes like make. fun of Dennis Rodman. and I was like all right or Michelle. Obama she goes no not Michelle. Obama I'll tell you you can make fun of. but she just called and like and like.

would check up on me and stuff like that. and then other people she'd be like [ __ ]. that fat [ __ ] for going against you oh. Miss Pat rolles but like the normal. people would just check on you and never. say a word you know some people like. fought tooth and nail to be like defend. me um other people just like it's not my. fight but I hope you're doing okay who. defended. [Music]. you Mark Norman went hard on me once not. hard on me hard for me on a on a radio. show in San Diego talking about how like.

the jokes are jokes if you didn't like. it it's just you didn't like it uh uh. Andrew Schulz went on The Breakfast Club. a very black show yeah and was like you. guys are way off you're way off I mean. that was ballsy to go on a black show he. was a black hero so just like when Cosby. stuff came out and they didn't want to. hear it they didn't want to hear this. either so I like I like bringing it up. again it's not about Kobe it's about. them worshiping Heroes so he was like no. it's a [ __ ] [ __ ] joke you guys are. getting it wrong and then um that was. how did that go over they were fighting. him and he was fighting back good for.

him has always been on the right side of. this other people Hing Cliff some people. he was like he goes hard. defending just any comic there air and. the side are just defending your art. form and don't even say hey I didn't. find the joke funny but it's his right. to say it well don't even say that part. just say the second part it's his right. to say it why wa why when everyone's. coming against somebody for a joke be. like I didn't find it funny don't say. that you would never say that normally. you would never in times of Peace go I. didn't find that but Tony hinp defended. you Tony no Schulz defended Tony.

Hinchcliffe oh when he had a they all. get buffles you know. um who else um oh Tim Dylan made like. really funny jokes about it good for him. you know Tim right he was just here yeah. in fact I texted with him yesterday he. fit in this chair he's slim these days. yeah he's in fighting form yeah he's on. a diet of [ __ ] twink [ __ ] um I didn't. ask him about that I I don't think he's.

really gay not true real don't think we. all be like prove it kiss one guy in. front of us totally we do you remember. Pete Buddha judge ran for president he's. supposedly gay and uh now he's. Transportation secretary and I had a one. of my producers is gay and he goes you. know he's not gay I was like are you. serious he goes no that's complete. [ __ ] wow W oh no he goes and you. know they all gays all keep very close. track of that stuff oh yeah and my. producer like no that that's it's.

totally aose he was dating women just a. few years ago that's totally fake he's. not gay at all smart so I said that on. the air people got all offended I. thought it was kind of hilarious if. hilarious it is is hilarious yes and. also like I'm not against gays I'm. saying he's not one well that that's. what I said. yeah so Tim went on and he goes uh he he. he plays a good dumb sometimes on. purpose like you do with the questions. he does that with dumb he had this thing. about when they were trying to ban AO um. and he had Giannis Papas has this like.

old Greek Guy character and he was like. asking questions to Pete about about APO. asking questions to Tim about APO and he. goes this man he is uh he's a a bad. father he goes oh no he's actually a. great father there's a white character. in the show who's a really he chokes his. children he's a really bad father but. Apu is no he's got eight kids and he's. really wonderful so he uh he's s dead. beat no small business owner. goes I don't get it and Tim's like yeah. I don't know they just don't like her. anyway so he did that with me where he.

goes um he goes AR's actions and his. words were terrible to take a hero like. that and make fun of her and his and his. and his um and his producers like yeah. it's tough It's like I just like you get. on on the day of a death to make fun of. artha Franklin is so shitty and the. producer's like no no no it's it was not. K's like no no I read he did a thing. about artha Franklin and he goes that. was a different one he goes oh so he. does this all the time it's not about. this one thing that they hear no he said. something about arita Franklin and he's.

like it's not that he goes well I'm. pretty pissed about the a the Franklin. thing from like three years earlier it. was just his way of saying like guys. shut the [ __ ] up in a funny way that was. like the most creative way to do it oh. that's so that's inspiring does anybody. pay any attention at all to the late. night. hosts no like that's not even a a. category anymore I guess but that's but. not. even so funny you see them sometimes. like crying about something like what. happened to your industry you're crying.

but when you were a. kid I mean that's all it was yeah that. was it you watched the tonight's show. monologue but when you guys gets it when. like you and Tim Dylan are having dinner. yeah you're not talking about what. Kimmel said no occasionally we will talk. I'm trying trying to stay positive so. occasionally we'll talk about how cool. Kimmel used to be and how that is really. him the cool guy yeah and he's I don't. know playing pretend or whatever Kimel. had a there was a roast for a um a local.

kind of kind of lunatic comedian Peter. Chen um we had a sort of fake roast has. distinct from other comedians or what. does that mean uh he was a bit crazy the. owner of the com were passed him as a as. a to like let everyone else kind of [ __ ]. with him he he was a bit of a yeah not a. not me lunatic or you lunatic but like. off um and and understand stand up says. that it's real a terrible terrible com. like an un no future no past comedian.

um yeah and so he was just a local like. at The Comedy Store he was like you. could just [ __ ] with him all the time. he's crazy and angry driven to anger at. all times so it was fun to [ __ ] with him. um so we had a roast for him and um. everyone you know did their thing then. he it's his turn to get up and he goes. uh to everybody like you say this about. me I but I you are the man uh nice you. wear a plaid shirt not straight lines. and like he thinks he's getting you and. then he goes to Jimmy Kimmel was on the. on the deas um it mean it's an 80 seater.

that's got 30 people in it before he. might have already had a show he might. not have but um but he goes and Jimmy. you say I am a snake you are a snake and. Jimmy Kimmel cracked his beer bottle. he's like I'll [ __ ] kill you eny help. back that's who he is he's a funny guy I. I don't know what that is but he's a. funny guy what about the other. two.

um uh who is it Fallon yeah Fallon I. can't. remember and the guy from The Daily Show. the guy from The Daily Show yeah um I. don't I've never seen The Daily Show. that he his old show is pretty funny the. fake Republican very funny yeah I agree. um you know Fallon's a [ __ ] He's also. he's so clean on there but I don't think. he's that clean I think he's like a. boozer and a fun guy from what I hear I. don't know so that's just totally that's.

not even a factor in comedy yeah I did. like I did like when he goes uh when. they were like hey you're losing the. ratings to the other guy to the to the. Daily Show guy you need to talk about. Trump and stuff and he goes that's just. not me I play ping pong with guests that. so if everyone wants to hear that then. you should go to that guy but if you. want to hear a good lipsync battle I'm. your guy well good for him yeah exactly. know who you are yeah I just think more. comics should do that stay in your lane. be funny you can write a tweet against. Trump or Biden make it a joke so many.

Comics Louie said this because Comics. [ __ ] themselves over because they were. like it's just a joke it's just a joke. but as an audience member you're like. but a lot of you guys are not joking. legitimately you're making serious. statements so how are we the audience to. know when you're joking and when you're. not this guy might be the worst. president of all time that's not a joke. no make it a joke this guy's a worse. president than Kermit was at being a. [ __ ] I don't know I don't know I. don't know but there's a joke possible. so then what do you make of. Chappelle in general he's a great comic.

well of course he is but there's also a. Ser I'm not there's not a criticism just. I've seen it of what well there's a it's. it's all like his he did this the [ __ ]. special he did was like an. editorial it was not he was not joking. he was serious is that good or bad. there's a thing I'll say that happens to. a lot of people. um you get some and it's not necessarily. him because everyone's on their own path.

but you get some backlash yeah and then. instead of just allowing there to be. backlash you want I think it comes from. a place of you want to win those people. over and explain you're not the guy. you're not the guy they think and you. want to win them over but then what. happens. is your creative output is spent trying. to win over people who hate you instead. of trying to please the people who do. love you. and that's your core group and keep. honoring them and these other people it. sways them all when the people go really.

I just got it that is a really smart. observation thanks buddy it's not just. comedy that no I'm saying [ __ ]. anti-semite we can't all we can be is a. brain you have a high verbal. intelligence I'll say no I think that's. a really insightful thing to say it's. not just comedians by the way who do. that right right right yeah and then it. just keeps going further and further. over until you this warped [ __ ] gllm. version of yourself yes and like what. happened to you and I've seen it they. won actually they won your enemies won. the critics won they distorted you and.

it's not even like let me do a good joke. about this it's hey I was already done. with that so I'm not gonna keep doing. jokes I'm not so people ask me about. when I did this Jew thing like you. should come out in a helicopter and do. whatever I'm like guys that was a. throwaway line on [ __ ] three. minutes you you only hear about so. that's what you want me to be I was. never going to cover that again that was. a one joke about the [ __ ] Lakers I. moved on the other stuff you want me to. live in that forever that's that's crazy. so you keep doing also artists do this.

when they get positive feedback well. it's like I do a bunch of different. paintings but there ones about deer seem. to sell more so well I guess I'll paint. more deers and it's like that's not your. natural progression as a visual Artist. as a painter so how do you keep an can't. read any of it you can't read any. feedback positive feedback is just as. deadly as negative feack yes I agree. yeah people telling you we like that I. knew I liked you this is exactly right. yeah can't read anything can't allow it. in right you can you as a comic we got.

something that nobody gets is immediate. reaction uh I can hear the laughs yes we. know when it's good and when it's bad. and sometimes when you're starting. somebody be like no no they were. laughing in the back you couldn't hear. I'm like they're facing me I can hear I. got the best seat in the house for the. laughs and I know when there's good. laugh and bad laugh and I know even in. that 15-minute set that I thought was. bad there was one joke that killed and. the other 14 were not good so I'm aware. what the line was for this crowd and I. failed and it's okay and they tell you. like no this that I can tell from.

immediate feedback I don't have to go. home and go who was saying anything. about it online I know what worked every. time they come out with a thing against. Comics they're like and this [ __ ]. crowd was laughing this crowd doesn't. know me especially if it's at the seller. the stand of The Comedy Store this is. not our crowds they're just there for. the show and we're going on and if. you're making them laugh that's a bunch. of strangers laughing that's all the. feedback you need or a bunch of. strangers not laughing and that's also. great feedback you know occasionally. you'll get a comedian go hey there's.

something there don't give up on that. joke wait but everything you're saying. is um true and wise more important but. there's also the reality of touring for. any gig which is you wind up in a hotel. room alone yeah and there's nothing to. do it's depressing and you're on your. phone and you're like I wonder what the. reaction to this was that's fair and I. should say this I Fall to it. constantly um when I say don't read that. it's advising myself read it us that's. right you know um we were all talking.

once at the store in the parking lot and. um Gerard carmichel showed up we were. all talking talking about reading. comments and stuff and he was like yeah. you shouldn't read this before was what. year was this with. him I think it was right after he had. his first TV show so he's kind of a star. like Beyonce knows him but not like. internationally he was doing well anyway. whatever and he goes yeah yeah you. shouldn't read it but it people talking. about you it's interesting right it's. Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn like let's go. up there and hear my [ __ ] you're a. performer I mean you play for people and.

for their reaction so this is another. form of it yeah and you want to hear it. and but it's just like do something else. it's it's deadly every once in a while. I'll go open up Instagram when I'm bored. I'm like don't fight back one time and. it's not like a whole sale like I'll. never be on here but I'm like right now. I shouldn't be on I'm in the woods I'm. in the woods sometimes and I go on my. phone it's like [ __ ] uh. well you you did take four and a half. months off without your phone so I don't. know any else who's done that yeah it's.

just like you set your own line and. behind my line I'm I'm about to I've. been for almost a year I've been trying. to get on this light phone you know the. Light phone no this company they made it. uh it's you can do regular texting it's. the the the buyers are two people they. are people who want to spend less time. online and people who don't want to be. spied on they're Woods people and. there's [ __ ] liberals who don't want. to follow fall to it I'm in the ladder I. guess. um full texting there's no email on.

there there's a Maps app but not Google. Maps because they don't want those. people don't want to be tracked so it's. some other Maps app I think there is a. ride share app. um and some sort of music playing app I. think but not Spotify because they don't. want anybody algorithm you the lightone. 3 is about to come out with a camera. unrelated like it takes a picture on so. that's all I use my phone for so that. would be for me yeah I want one where I. can't get this stuff on there I can't.

get email I'll check it at home I want. to be able to text and not have to do. this which is [ __ ] annoying right um. so a full keyboard they used to have the. one that flipped open like that um the. LG envy and you could text like that. flip phone but you could text like that. it's a breeze I loved it I gave up email. um completely no email I don't do no. email no email how do you deal with like. long form. I text that's it and I try to make I. mean I'm sure I miss a lot you know and. I um how does someone send you well.

because they can send you a link you can. open read this yeah or PDF or I just. don't deal with stuff wow and because I. think it's it's just it takes too much. time yeah I think I've lost probably. half to a full decade of my life to this. right and so it might be worth saying. you know I'm I'm an artist I'm a Creator. I'm a little eccentric got a weird. personal life and I'm just not playing. along with your conventions M you could. probably pull that off you're also in a. position where you're successful enough. where you be like guys deal with it for.

me like handle this yeah but there's not. that much actually you can bang it out. on text and then then you can get to the. bottom of it every day then you go to. sleep with nothing and make a phone call. like hey explain this to me let's go. over it real quick it's going to take us. 10 minutes not texting it take us five. hours yeah I don't a ton of phone calls. out okay because you can't do those at. 2: in the. morning yeah yeah so you I wish there. was way to send a text schedule send a. text can you make more at at some point. will standups be able to make more money.

on the internet than they made on TV. they already are they already are yeah. they already are so it's like it's. pretty wild the lack of caring they have. for these conventions now some of the. comics have made so much money they've. reim prisoned themselves and that's why. they usually come out against the comic. who cross the line because they're. afraid of their own money kind of going. away instead of just defending their. friends when when Harvey Weinstein came. out when it came out about Harvey. Weinstein um they went to Tarantino and.

it's like well you worked with him you. need to weigh you need to make your. statement and he said something along. the lines of hey guys I've known this. guy for 25 to 30 years he was at my. wedding I was at his or vice whatever um. this has been a friend for a long time. you need to give me some time to think. about this and it seemed reasonable. enough and they kind of went away I. don't even know if he ever said anything. but what's saying anything going to do. anyway exactly you just they need more. of that but they're all scared of losing. their position so they sell out their. friends La Comics more than New York so.

the more money they make the more. cowardly they become we all wanted to do. another our own thing and then this. money impr prison they had these jobs I. mean I I make fun of Rogan once in a. while where I was like I remember when. he was still in LA and I was like hey. I'm coming to town want to go on a hike. he goes I can't I got to interview some. guy and I was like I just cancel he goes. nah he's coming from Australia I got to. [ __ ] do it and I was like oh for your. job. say shut up all right oh you wouldn't do. it for millions of dollars like no I. would but don't ignore you have are you. worried about getting too successful. where you can't take four months off and.

go to Myanmar I. I. no no the problem becomes when you have. a like this guy and that guy where like. you guys rely on me for money yeah so. now it's a separate thing and that's. when I didn't realize that's what Comedy. Central did to me um you got. employees well they were like well. there's all these like. you have all these staff members you. have all these people going to shoot. your show will kick you out they'll be. out of work they're not going to pay. their rent or you can comply and you're.

like oh [ __ ] how horrible are they. they're just really horrible like they. are right I get that that feeling. they're done now they're off which is. sad because it was a good platform for. comedians I don't take any happiness in. their demog so that's actually my last. question is about is about the new. platform for commedians like how Central. is Rogan to all this to this to this. ecosystem I mean he is the best the. amount of support he has I mean there's. times where he goes so some big guy some.

Oliver Stone wants me a podcast but I. can't I have this open micer on today or. tomorrow so I'm already booked I want to. promote this open micer whereas. everybody else would go well the Nate. Oliver Stone will get more hits than. this open micer so I can't he's just. like I'm the I'm the name I'm Joe Rogan. so I want to put this guy on or that guy. on and this guy's funny I want to push. him to a big platform instead of like. what's going to Happ help me book my. show it's like interesting I'll help me. he just the Casual talking about the. outlaw of standup has helped all of us.

whether or not you've been on his show. or not he's made standup more popular. you know so now we we can all just I. mean it's succeeding on a it's a crazy. level so what like what's the effect on. a stand-ups career of going on. Rogan uh well one time is not as big as. as it once was cuz there now there's. thousand thousands of. episodes um but guys like Theo Von. launched off like a good early. appearance Tim Dylan launched off that.

Dave Smith you know really be became. well known I know all three good guys. yeah yeah and you do well on that Joey. Diaz but like it was consistent ones you. know. um it's not like it's kind of like The. Tonight Show with Johnny Carson was a. long time ago it's like it they say like. you go on there you're a star and. everyone you talk to from back then like. no no no your eighth time on there. you're a star. but that whole week people recognize you. but unlike Carson I mean Rogan makes the. call himself he doesn't have y like. Scouts in the clubs at night yeah he's.

like wow this lady. wasone female open micer we're all. getting high in the back and then you. have to walk past the original the the. room and you kind of like go in there. especially if you're high or drunk it's. great watching some high level unknown. comic you just it's it's great it's. laughs you know it's pre laughs um. yeah it's like you're passing by a live. standup comedy show on your way out of. work it's it's the best and he's in. there laughing go you're great he was.

always really great Carson Carlin was. like that he'd sit in the back he knew. who he was and if you did well I'd be. like hey that's a really good set he. knew not to just keep that to himself he. knew what George Carlin saying good set. would mean did you know him I met him. once never said it to me never had a. good he didn't like your [ __ ] at all. never had a good set in front of him but. uh but if he was there and he saw you he. tipped me 20 bucks to get him a deli. sandwich and I was like no the com is. playing for I know it's for you and I. desperately needed it I mean I was poor.

and Rogan was always passing money. around really oh yeah yeah he kept me in. business for a long time Rogan did I. opened for him for five six years on the. road yeah we're good. friends we're good friends but. like so I mean I can't I can't pay him. back I just try to be just try to pass. it how many dates do you do a year try. to limit it to 24 weeks a year and the.

weeks can either be Friday for weeks it. can either be just Friday Saturday or. like for the Edinburgh Festival it's. it's an entire months fouret how do you. not get addicted to heroin doing that. that's so much time on the. road you you get to be a boozer for sure. yeah yeah heroin is always like one time. I had a thought like I may not want to. try it but I was like okay I'm going to. do it away from home so I can't find a. dealer that I can and then you realize. you can just find a dealer if you're you.

probably pull that off yeah yeah so I. just haven't gotten into it but how do. you keep your life from. capsizing sometimes it gets bad you're. like oh I got to take that back a little. pot also some like N I messed up a show. a little bit not completely it went from. an A to like an A minus be like eh cool. it being high on stage being high being. drunk like let's get drunk afterwards. they asked earthquake once like do you. drink on stage I love this interview and. he goes standup comedy is one of the few. uh jobs that uh enable you the right to.

embibe while you at work and I like to. Avail myself of that right and they go. does it ever make you worse he goes. almost every. time but uh yeah you just got to keep. track of it and not let it C you're. you're you're your own employee so it's. up to you yeah but there's a there's a. disconnection. that happened justify there's a lot of. sober Comics are couldn't handle it Joe. list I met Joe list gray comic I met him. when I moved to New York there was like.

a separation between New York and La um. and I was like hey everybody here in New. York talks about you like like kind of. reveres you but I've never heard of you. coming from La like what's he goes you. want to know why I'm not as big as my. name yeah goes booze but I've been sober. for 6 months and now 12 years he's. crushing it now but he had to you know. he had to do that for himself other guy. I mean Rogan gets high all the time he. can handle it yeah but a lot of I mean.

there's a reason that touring musicians. yeah you know it's just tour it's the. touring there was a DJ who quit who quit. dejing a high I forget who it was and. they were like he was like well I'm I'm. doing too much drugs I can't do it so I. got to stop dejing and people go just. don't do drugs while you DJ and he goes. you just don't know the world yeah you. have to um. yeah I don't try to self but yeah Rogan. he just rules for it and it's and it's a. way of like he's like pay your openers. well he was paying me $150 a set to MC.

the standard rate was 50 he was paying. 150 and then paying Joey Diaz would go. with us also he's paying him also 150. and the rate for the middle was 100 and. then one day he called me and Joey and. he goes hey I'm sorry I'm giving you. guys a raise but I'm like no one's. offering us that much definitely not. more he goes no you guys are Headliners. you should make headliner money I'm. giving you 250 a set so we'd come home. with like as much money as I would make. pretty much on my own headlining that I.

never got any work by the way but like. it would have been the same and also. never touched my wallet and went out to. the finest. restaurants you know it was it was great. that's amazing why do you think he does. it I don't know he's a positive guy so. for a while he just brought Joey Diaz. with him and then um and Joey was pretty. coked up back then and sometimes he just. would not show. up um and he could bring a local but he.

you got to be supportive to the scene. you got to help guys that are struggling. and he bring just Joey and then Joey. would he he'd get to the airport and. he's like Joey where are you don't. answer his phone and then he land in the. new city he's like where are you he goes. ah something came up I missed my flight. and it's like you I was at the airport. he missed your flight he just Coke. excuses you know yeah and so he's like. he's unreliable he might not show up it. became too much. but instead of saying you can't come. anymore he goes I'll just bring a second. opener so if you don't come I've still. got.

somebody it's it's nuts to have an. employee go I just don't show up a lot. like I guess I'll hire two employees. then instead just firing the guy he was. like he's too funny he's got to be. supported it's our. responsibility that's remarkable yeah so. I try to do that with like young com. it's like you know it doesn't one time I. was wait so when when your opener gets. too how to to show up at the airport. you're okay with no I've never had a guy. like that people are too whatever but. like no I'm like I'll pay for your meals. if we're out like at a diner after spots.

it's like ah I got it don't worry about. it because that's what I remember one of. those he was like brand new to La he. took us all out for like The Standard. Hotel um late night food he paid like. three times in a row on brand new this. isn't normal for someone you get a round. but not consistently get rounds that's. weird and we're at Carney we're at a it. was a chili dog place and I was like let. me get this one I was broke I couldn't. afford the standard hotel but Carney. like it's $3 each you know and um he. goes no no it's okay I'm like dude dude.

please let me get it there's also like a. a man sort of like hierarchy thing you. can't keep paying for me I don't know. you like that um and I insisted and he. goes okay thank you appreciate that and. then later we're walking back to the com. where goes hey just so you know like. it's not a power position when I pay for. you it's just like that standard meal. for me is is about a quarter to you it's. it's about worth a one five nickels yeah. that's why I pay for it it doesn't it's. it's. meaningless it's not for power I thank.

you for buy me Carneys but like that's. all I have more money so take some you. know like if I could just I could just. go get coffee at your spot I don't have. to ask so when Rogan got attacked when. they tried to claim he was a racist of. all things um oh yeah what it had like. no effect had no effect also Comics. supported him I think this is what you. got to do when there's there's this like. meteor of hatred coming at anybody you. get it plenty uh other people have. gotten play it's just me it's solid ball. and for a metat to break up it needs to. start breaking up and you get the image.

where it's like a piece falls off a. piece falls off in the atmosphere a. piece falls off piece falls off so what. support does from other people in your. industry either broadcasting or comedy. is it shoots a [ __ ] hole through that. meteor a little hole and that starts to. break it up a lot faster if you have a. few commer you go guys you just don't. understand comedy that's just a joke he. doesn't mean that you're out of your. mind it creates. doubt in the story that's right and then. it breaks up really fast when there's no. doubt it's just [ __ ] ball that [ __ ]. sorry that [ __ ] blows everything then.

what happened to look I don't know Louis. CK but I I at the height of that I. always thought he was really talented so. I read about it and I you know whatever. it was embarrassing that story but it. was not a crime that I could tell how. did he wind up getting. destroyed puritanical I think there's. something in society like no matter if. you're big we want you down I think it's. is because it says something about me. that I'm not big instead of like let me. rise up to his level right let me take. you down so in comedy it works in a few. ways you're an evil person you steal.

jokes you're hacky you're um um racist. Roseanne racist Carlos Mania steals. jokes uh Larry the Cable Guy hacky these. are all things I don't you know. necessarily agree with or not agree with. but this is what they say uh this guy. lied about something uh this guy did. that but they're just like either way. we're going to take you down it's not. about one thing if it was about one. thing I'd be like the society doesn't. like that thing right but since it's. about lots of things it's like what the. common factor is you're big you're all.

big let's take it. down um yeah with Rosanne she offered. like a legitimate explanation that lady. looks white I saw a picture of her she. looks like an old Jewish lady yeah and. then it's like that's a believable. [ __ ] retort but it's like we want you. out of here do you know her Rosanne I've. met her a few times great person yeah I. don't know her that well but truly a. cool interesting person lunatic. absolutely 100% but in touch with.

something deep she's not a cat her vibe. on stage and it's not even jokes it's. just a Vibe and she just gets people on. her wave like it's pretty pretty special. but um yeah I don't know they go after. Rogan they go after Louie I think it was. that I think because what they were. going after him for was panical oh yeah. it was you're not doing sex the way we. do but I mean when I was in college I. started bringing up verbal consent and. it was it it was brought up by virgins. who had never really experienced sex if.

you ask any normal woman how they feel. if a guy's like may I kiss you and they. say okay yes may I touch your breast. like dude we're done here yeah because. you're you're weak yeah you're weak go. for it and I'll say no that's how you. know it's not like you're not holding. them down you're just like can it's like. uhuh okay I mean I've gone in for a kiss. but like no no I don't see you like that. I'm like okay it's embarrassing yeah I'm. not going to do it again I feel shamed. they try to like it's okay I'm like when.

was the last time that happened to you. um yeah uh a long time ago good yeah. just checking yeah yeah a long time ago. um yeah and it's like but we were like. that doesn't work in real life verbal. consent and he got verbal. consent may I do this yes you may okay. I'm going to do it okay [ __ ]. you it's it's and they actually took him.

out and they yeah they did and and. because then people were like well I. can't I think that so the friends of his. were like no we'll defend him other. people are like you're putting me in a. moral weird spot to you're saying he's. this evil guy and if you defend evil and. you're out I mean nor McDonald's saying. hey I don't think I don't think Roseanne. meant that and and they go well now. you're off The Tonight Show tonight and. he goes I'm not excusing it I'm saying. it wasn't the right person if if. somebody goes to me like uh [ __ ] Seth.

Rogan he's anti-trans and he's his his. podcast only has this I'm like oh I. think you mean Joe Rogan they're like. [ __ ] you don't tell me what to. think you know what I mean and it's like. you can't even argue with that the. you're getting the wrong you're at the. wrong door you're at the wrong door. that's what happened to what's her name. that black Chi got shot through the. [ __ ] wall they went to the wrong. house what's her name. oh they say her name say her name say. her name I never did say her name though. so I can't remember yeah damn well it. shows you what kind of person I am but.

it's like they're going to the wrong. house and you're like you're at the. wrong house like don't you tell me. you're an evil person so they made. people feel weird about even defending. Louie but it was like what are you. talking about. it's whatever but it's also when you. take a step back from it it's it's all. comical if you don't take any personal. like I know that guy it's so here's a. game I play It's called defend them. that's what I was going to tell you and. it doesn't work with full rapists okay. but anyone else imagine they were your. friend yeah and you had to explain to. people Lou is a good example of why.

someone's not wrong there was a comedian. in uh in the UK where at the Edinburgh. festival and he was doing a it was. called uh when harres he Met Sally this. guy Finn Taylor he's a great comic and. he takes these long he go one year he. did a white Merson was this was this. hour it was all about just white people. and culture and he takes every sight. South Park every side and when harres he. Met Sally had some great lines in there. he goes men are the only ones that rape. ourselves goes women you ever have sex. with a guy and it gets weird the next. day he goes he didn't want to have sex.

you raped him you talked him into it um. he did this thing about Louie and he. goes he asked some some some women if he. could do that and they said no and I. guess he did it anyway and I saw him. afterwards like hey great special same. thing as the other one like just so you. know that's not the facts are wrong do. what you want just like that Rabbi told. me but like they did say yes he goes oh. [ __ ] and it was great he changed it. changed it was like I didn't want to get. it wrong so he changed it made a still a. funny joke but like let me get the facts. right definitely.

um so anyway we're all wait [ __ ] I. haven't smoked weed today at all yeah I. know this place a we let me just ask you. who you you know Louis CK but are there. people you would defend who you don't. know yeah okay so that's the game thank. you it's defend them so act as if. they're your friends. and say what happened so with Louis it's. like he asked someone for two girls come. back to your hotel room which by the way.

always implies women aren't idiots you. know what they want at least you know. what they want no victim blaming but if. I walk out with $100 but there are no. surprises if you right this is you know. what this is probably so you could be. like let's me downstairs if you don't. want that okay so you're at least. putting a guy in a we position if I walk. out with a $100 bill in the GH and. Avenue D in New York and I get robbed I. shouldn't get robbed but also like right. don't do that you know so anyway if you.

defend him it's like he asked for verbal. cassette and got it and they go well as. high-powered manager try to shut these. girls up or this is the defend them game. or his friend his manager SL his friend. was saying hey can you shut the [ __ ] up. he's married yeah you shut the [ __ ] up. and not he's silencing them but just. like hey quit saying this [ __ ] about my. my [ __ ] friend use your head he's. married that's not the same as like. trying to silence a [ __ ] female voice. and Janine said this on a podcast she.

goes we all thought it was funny when it. happened we all thought it was like what. a dork key is yes which is great yes a. guy who jerks off in his stomach should. be mocked of course but should continue. to work anyway so defend them John. Gruden remember that no he's a he was a. coach for the Tampa Bay Bucks yeah it's. a sports team I know you're not into. that um I've heard of him okay he used. to be a coach for the Raiders and in the. interim he worked for ESPN and he was. talking to the owner of the Redskins um.

online his buddy he was friends with. him and they were [ __ ] on Roger. Goodell the commissioner of the league. good for them and he called him the FW. for gays yeah he go he's said whatever. and they were like you said this and it. was in leaked emails in an investigation. into Daniel Snider the owner of the. Redskins the old owner of the Redskins. and they leaked this stuff on purpose um. and they go what's that he said I go. okay it's either a homophobic slur or. it's an employee privately with another. employee talking [ __ ] about their boss.

who's by the way hetero so to call him. that is he is that confirmed I don't. know he's more hetero than the [ __ ]. Tim Dylan but so it's just a guy talking. [ __ ] about their boss privately that. doesn't sound nearly as bad defend them. play the defend them game and you'll. realize oh actually people are not these. evil monsters that you think I love that. do you have forbidden figure in there. too is the only people you know oh so. you research it it's almost like a. parlor game at a at a at a party who do. you play this with you could do it at a. house party but people like don't want. to be the one defending especially.

liberals or actually the other way yeah. if it's like super Republicans yeah most. of us are in the middle so 80% of us in. the middle somewhere and the [ __ ]. vocal parts of each side are way way out. there it's like Islam it's like the. [ __ ] the ones running in are the. [ __ ] bomb makers the most of them are. just like you're supposed to love your. wife yeah exactly um. so they don't like it if you pull. [ __ ] AOC out you know about something. and you're a [ __ ] hardcore Republican. you're like ah like you got a Defender.

Defender and you're like all right let. me look into this and it's kind of. debate club and you realize no one's a. [ __ ] monster the monsters are G again. doesn't work with Stud is coming in. handy through lifelong like you're. looking at all sides of the question. it's a fun game at a party you put a. people's few people's names in a hat and. you pick one out and you go go have you. ever ever defended someone you don't. like yeah all the time and you realize. oh [ __ ] if that was my friend I would. see the good in him that's not the case. or this story was wrong or they left out.

a certain part of the story to get their. way you know uh uh uh the cops in uh in. the Rodney King beating you know that. how they cut out the first seven minutes. of course and it's like doesn't excuse. beating someone much but it does. somewhat excuse it does explain it. better exactly when he's fighting to a. standstill with three cops by the way if. you punch a cop they're going to punch. you back you think they're going to go. hard yeah that's the deal and he's. fighting to a stand still with three of. them and they come in like you don't do. that to our [ __ ] friends but if you. start with seven cops beating a guy like.

he's defenseless you're like well yeah. you're not seeing the whole story if I. call you a piece of [ __ ] and then we cut. to you walking alone it looks like. you're walking sad alone because I. called you a piece of [ __ ] but that's. not the real story you know we're having. a good time. exactly so anyway defend him it's a fun. game I'm going to play tonight try it. again it does not actually you know what. I'm going to do I'm going to defend you. okay yeah all right he's a good guy yeah. AR thank you buddy it was great to meet.

you it really was it was awesome great. to meet you thank you yeah you know I. did not tell my mom I was coming to meet. you why she's not a fan she's a fan it's. all these people and I'm like he's an he. was an anti-war guy at Fox News who. followed the dead he's not H how is he. that guy that you think he is well you. can't be anti-war that means you're a. fascist it's racist to be an different. with the fa but um with the what with. the fa you started saying fashion you're. going to say something else no no no no. cuz I I learned you can't even call. Roger Goodell that yeah exactly so I.

wonder buddy it was great to meet you I. want you do my travel podcast done I. know you've been you a travel podcast. yeah it's called you be tripping it's. just about a place no politics man. there's one thing I've done a lot of is. travel yeah yeah and I think it's I. think it's the most educational thing. you can do yeah I really believe that I. don't know why more people don't do it I. feel like our rich people in this. country am one but they don't travel. right yeah like they go they kind of. recreate their own lives with better. service in a foreign country but the. whole point of travel is to learn how.

other people live yeah read the local. newspaper if you 100% yeah instead of. how do I get the New York Times here. good call me I'd do it okay perfect okay. you ever New York no I don't go to New. York okay well or whatever let's do it. all right okay thanks man thanks. [Music]. buddy thanks for watching our YouTube. channel we hope you'll subscribe to it. and by the way you can hit the little. Bell on there and get notifications. every time we produce a video we hope. you'll do that also.