"We Can Fight With Our Police" - Trevor Noah - (There's A Gupta On My Stoep)

You know one of the biggest things we don’t appreciate in South Africa. that I’ve learned to appreciate since moving to the US. Is what a civil relationship we have with our Police. We can fight with our Police. When they stop us. With not one thought in your head of losing your life. That’s a luxury in America I didn’t even think about that. I just moved to the US to start working on the Daily Show and. One day I was driving and I got pulled over by a policeman.

and I get pulled over by this policeman. and being pulled over by the police in America is a stressful experience. because they make it a game show. where you’ve got to try and figure out what’s going on. In South Africa it’s simple straight to the point. you get pulled over the metro police comes there. he tells you. My friend. you were speeding. license, letter, letter, letter, license. plus no seat-belt License.

then immediately you’re in the game. Ah come on man come on. Hey don’t come on nothing here seat-belt man. Letter, License Letter, License. busy driving here Schumacher, hey. Yeah. now you’re in the game. you know it’s time to talk it’s time to work things out. In America they don’t play that game. Policeman walked up to the window I was sitting in the car. got up there. good afternoon sir. good afternoon. Sir do you know why I pulled you over?

Shouldn’t you know why? why are you asking me? No I don’t know. I’m sorry what did you say? I said I don’t know why you pulled me over. I pulled you over sir because you were speeding. Oh okay I didn’t know. do you know how fast you were going sir? did you not check your notes before you came? I feel like this is part of your job I’m doing your job and my job at the same time. sir are you giving me attitude? no I am not giving you attitude I am just saying you can't ask me.

why you stopped me and then ask me how fast I was going. next thing you are going to ask me to write my own ticket. sir are you giving me attitude? You gonna get out this car right, now you giving me attitude. and I was just talking to the guy and I was like look man you can’t say. here’s the craziest thing the cop said to me He looked at me and he’s like. sir I’ll tell you something you were going a hundred miles an hour. I was like a hundred miles an hour how do you know that? Where is your, can I see the thing. he said what are you talking about. I was like show me your gun. Wow, no not that one, wow. I want to see the laser gun I want to see the speed.

He’s like I don’t need that sir I estimated that you were going a hundred. I was like Estimated? what does a hundred look like? you can’t just estimate a hundred. So he says I can look and I can estimate. Dude that is a dangerous thing to do so you just look and go that guy’s doing a hundred. you can’t just estimate. Imagine if I just did that with you Like estimate standard 7. finished. you can’t just do that. I’m sorry sir what did you just say to me? I didn’t, look I am just saying. that it’s not fair for you to like it’s a weird experience with police there.

and my friend was in the passenger seat he was shitting himself the whole time. He was like Yo dude shut up Yo dude shut up. shut up Trevor shut up Trevor. you gonna get us killed shut up Trevor. I was like get us killed for what? why are we getting killed now? He’s like shut up Trevor shut up Trevor. I take that for granted because in America you could get shot. and you read stories and you see stories. of black Americans getting shot and that is true. they get shot at a disproportional rate. but white Americans also get shot by the police all the time. White police in America.

police in general in America are trigger happy they don’t play games. All races, police as a whole shoot first, ask questions later. There they are, "You!" (shots fired). "Freeze!". "Did I get that order right?". we take for granted the relationship we have here. in America you read stories. of people getting shot because they pulled out their wallets. in South Africa you'll get shot because you didn’t pull out your wallet.

We are always talking. that's my favorite thing about South African police. is like you feel like you are part of what's happening. You pull over the cop comes there. How are you Sir? I am fine, how are you? Hey, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, hey. I don’t know if you saw here, let me just show you. can you see here, check the numbers. check the numbers, see that one there?

Top score. Yeah, see there. Top score, hey. See that number there huh, what does that number say? and you are like, 160. 160. (whistling). Hey, if it was pac man you would have an extra life now. Huh? 160. So, what are we doing now? Agh, malume, yeah, what are we doing now?

Agh, malume, I know my man, I know. they feel your pain. we are in this together. I almost feel like we need to send South African Police. we need to send South African Police to America. just so that Americans can learn what it's like. to have a functioning police force. that's not always threatening to end your life. you know? a police force where you can communicate. where you can air your differences. without fear of mortal retribution.

wouldn’t that be great to have Americans in sticky situations? there they are. at a standoff. the police pull up (Police siren). Alright, we are gonna hand you over. we've got a Sargent Matabula here. he's a specialist from South Africa. we're gonna hand you over. Hello. Hello Sir, how are you?

Hey man, I ain’t coming out! Hey, hey, hey, I am greeting you! I said, how are you? don’t just shout here, we are talking. how are you? I am fine man, that you very much for asking. how are you? I am doing good thank you very much. okay, that’s going on here my brother? Look man, that shit you all trying to pin on me. it ain’t true man, I am innocent! Okay, so just come out and we can talk.

No man, I know how this shit goes down! You all gonna kill me or I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in jail! That's not true, that's not true. just come out, we can talk. I know what you all gonna do man! I got two options, I'm gonna die. or I'm gonna spend my life in jail. There's another option. it involves a cold drink.

it doesn’t have to be this way.