Trevor Noah VS. Joel Embiid - FIFA 19

What does he do again? What does he do again? Turns around... Yaarrrrgggghhhh! You okay? Hey what's up guys?! So... Everyone's the King of FIFA. Alright? That's what everyone says! I wanna know who the real King of FIFA is. So ah, I challenged Joel Embiid. You probably know him from the Basketball. A different sport with the hands. Apparently ah, Joel is the self-proclaimed FIFA King.

Yes, I am the King Of FIFA! Alright, well let's see if you're the King of FIFA. I mean I know I'm not... But let's see if you're the King. Cause I just want to meet the King. This is how it went down... Let's go Joel! First game. And you know what's important about this game? Is that... It's just two... two guys who are really good at FIFA... just, just enjoying it. Who wins or who loses in this game... doesn’t really matter. this is just us practicing. but I mean... if I win it counts. Come on Diego Costa! Oh my God.

Joel, how you gonna give me the ball? How you gonna give me the ball? Just getting used to the game. Do you think there's as much flopping in basketball now as soccer? Yes! I play soccer so I'm kinda... I flop a lot too sometimes. Flopping is nice though. Oh It's nice! when you get... when you get whatcha want... it's nice! Yeah! It's also like a nice way for guys to let their emotions show, ya know? Yeah!? Cause guys cant cry... and then like flopping is a nice way to cry for a reason.

If you played soccer, what position would you play? Ahhh, Forward. Are you one of those tall guys who doesn’t know how to header the ball... cause you're so tall the never gave you headers? Probably. You know what my favorite thing about like... A lot of African soccer players? It's that like... they never learned how to header the ball, cause they never played with a soccer ball that you can header. Yeah. So like we used to play with soccer balls that where so messed up, like they didn’t have the leather on them anymore. And it would just like scratch your face.

if you tried to header it. When you talk trash, do you ever think of the trash that kids used to talk to you when you started playing basketball? Oh yes, for sure! What's the worst thing someone said to you when you were playing? When you started. Ahhh, I mean... I used to get in a lot of fights and obviously I wasn’t really physical. So... I used to get pushed around a lot. You used to get pushed around?? Who was that guy? Get bullied. It's funny... It's funny how I am saying this now because like, I love being physical on the basketball court.

Umm, but like I used to be like... It used to be bad, I used to get pushed around. Come on... Benza goal! He missed! Aww I thought he... How was that not offside? This is technically 1... Oh my God it's offside?! Yeah, that should have been offside. How is that offside? Because you were ahead of me. That's what I'm talking about, VAR. V, A, R, there we go! Diego Costa!

Come on. Keeper?! Oh you picking the ball up? Oh, you serious Joel. That's 1-1 in my book. because you gave me a goal. Yeah! So... although everyone in the world will know that I beat you in that game, for me it doesn’t count as a win. I let you win. Yeah, because you gave me the ball. So I don’t count that. Even though everyone else will count it, I don’t count it. I don’t count that at all. I won!!!

Alright! Game two Joel. What are you gonna do different this time man? Win. See, this is what I am talking about... because last time was a draw. This is what I am talking about... about basketball players. You guys just give like a generic answer to all, like ESPN or... anyone! What are you gonna to do differently? Win! Well, thank you so much for chatting to us Joel. Thanks for that insight, back to you guys in the studio. Man, I'm loving the way they move in this new FIFA. I'm not even gonna lie.

I gotta get... That's something I gotta get used to. Yeah! Like I just... I like the way the body moves. Yeah. I can feel like... the weight of the players. Like if you where in FIFA... If you where in FIFA 19, I would be able to feel... That you're like a 7 foot giant, who's a really soft, emotional guy. I would feel that, you know? Goal!!! Say Ahhh! AHHHHHHHH! What does he do again?

What does he do again? Turns around... YAAARRRGGGHHHH! You okay? Not doing anything. You got lucky on that one! Come on Meunier. He's trash... just like you. Wow! Penalty! No. How's that a penalty? How is that a penalty? Oh!! Where is the stability in this midfield people?

Goal!!! Oh!! Oh!! What did I just say? Who we needed! Who did we need? Mandzukic tried, did you score?! Uh huh! I guess you want a new team now? Good game man, good game! Benzema!!! Modric!! Kroos. Was that Kroos? Oh my word.

Even better. Tony Kroos. I need to take this seriously... Put my mask on. You're not the only one with a mask Joel. Do you feel like you're better when you play with the mask? Hell, no. Nope! I cant breath but I feel cool. Definitely feel cool. It's called, Masked Trev! What?

What? Yeeaaahhh! Is your microphone broken Joel? something's gotten real quite in here man. I remember when my friend Joel would talk to me during the game. Those where the good old days. Next! These are the champions. Do you want?! Do you want the mask?

Alright, time for us to check out some of the new modes in FIFA 19 Joel. Survival is the one where like... every time you score, you lose a player on your team. Let's try that one. Yeah, cause then I am going to have fewer players, cause I am going to score goals. and then you'll be able to catch up with me, which is nice. Gaaaaahhhhhh! ???????????? Man this is hard tactically... now do I just try keep it at 1-0? and play 10 men? or do I try score again? But then I play you with 9 men.

I mean, don't get me wrong... I could beat you with 9 men. But I don’t know if I want to do that. I don’t know if I wanna... have that stress in my life. Wow, Leroy Sane. What a goal! They should let you choose who the other team loses. Like um, I think ah... Sterling. De Bruyne! YES!! That's the worst! De Bruyne, out! Why cant they let me??! Get him outta here. Why cant they?? Agüerro is, ugh. Tha's the worst I can lose. Joel, what if I told you I was only playing at 70% of how I normally play?

I woulda told you the same. Oh my God, goal. Ah, that new tap system man. Gah! I gotta get that right. Ugh! I gotta get that right. Let's do Champions League. Champions League?? Do it, let's do a Champions League final. Ewww, this song gives me goosebumps. I know, I love this. These are the champions.

Final of the Champions League. Real Madrid. 2 years ago I was at this game. Yeah?! That must've been electric man. Amazing! Whew!! Whew!! Whew! Now you gotta team! How was that a goal? Now you gotta midfield. How is that a goal man? How is that a goal? Cause it's Joel Embiid, holdin the controller! Look at this... look at this right here, what is this? What is this? What is that? What is that?! That shoul've been a goal in the first place.

No man. What's the... Come on man! Why's the guy headering the ball to you? Why's he giving you a goal? What!? What!? What!? Modric baby! whatchu know about that? No chance. Gareth Bale! Baby! How you gonna predict what you cant stop?! Gareth Bale! Why you letting him run? Ah, If that's not offside it's over. That's not off side?

Oh my God, I though he wasn’t offside. Wow. I thought he wasn’t offside. Wow. Oh my God. Wow. You got... oh my God. You gotta play the whistle Joel, that's what my coach in high school used to tell me. You've got to play with the whistle. Boo!! You know what I like... is you've got finals face right now. Special type of face man. losing in the finals?? A wise man once said...

There's no point in going to the finals, if you don’t win! I don’t know who that was, but he was a wise man. You know what is 3? Nah. Three championships! That's how many I've got. Three championships. In the words of Mourinho, three. Three. You know that? You must show me the respect I deserve. Can I get some respect? Can I get the respect I deserve? Three.

That was funny. Can I get some respect?! Yo Joel, thank you my dude. Thank you so much. I appreciate your time. You let me know when we're doing this again man! We definitely gotta do it again. You gotta practice, you gotta find your team. I'm gonna find my team. I know my team. You were using my team. Oh, okay. You were using my team! I said do you want to use Real Madrid? I have this on tape. No, I let you use my team. Okay. Cause I didn’t wanna kick yo ass. Okay, you had Ronaldo though. Football is played with 11 men.

and Ronaldo is one of them. He's 1 of... 1 of 11. Ronaldo can't be the team by himself. Let me tell you something... if I had Joel Embiid on my pickup basketball team. I think that would make a bigger difference than all the other guys on my team. That would make a difference. My dude, thank you so much man. I appreciate it. Ah man, this was dope!