Tracee Ellis Ross: “I’m the Chooser”

I know when you have posted a bikini. picture. I know. But I am not even on Instagram. in that way. >> So dead. >> I know. >> Oh man. >> Because I will just get texts diff very. varying degrees of Tracy. >> Oh my god. That is. >> Tracy. Damn. >> Yo, bro. Tracy, that's then I know,

okay, Tracy has just posted something. First, let me go and see what was posted. so that I can understand. >> I'm dying right now. >> cuz cuz with with other people it would. be they've said or done something in. public that has brought, you know what I. mean, great shame to them and their. lineage. >> That's what most people would be that's. what most people would be texting me. about somebody. Yo, did you see what. your man said? I'm like, oh, what. happened with you? I know every year you. are in Europe somewhere. >> Yep. A picture has been posted in a. pool, on a boat, in the ocean, and then.

I must now I must now field dating. requests from. >> But is there no one that's been worthy? >> Tracy, would I not have sent them to you. if I thought they were worthy? >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> Half of them are married. >> YES. OH GOD. >> NO. BUT IN THEIR DEFENSE, they're not. saying like a real But they're just. expressing it to me as the person. You. know what I mean? What do they expect. you to do? >> They just need to tell someone and they. keep. >> They just need to tell the person who's. there. I don't know why. >> Oh, they need to tell. >> cuz they're going like, "You know her?". Then I'm like, "Yes." Then they're like, "Yo.".

>> Then I'm like, "Okay, so what do you. want me to do with that? Why are you. doing this to me? >> Why are you doing this to me?". This is What Now with Trevor Noah. Oh. Oh. Tracy, wait. Wait. I was I want. to share this with someone who.

understand cuz Trevor won't. >> I discovered heirloom tomatoes the other. day. M. >> What color? >> Red ones. >> The yellow ones are the best. >> Yellow ones are the best. >> Yeah. I say this because I can't eat. tomatoes cuz they're too acidic. >> Okay. >> And I love tomatoes. And heirloom tomato. season in the summer. Sometimes I. [ __ ] do it anyway. I'm like, "Fuck. it. You know what? I'm just going to. have acid reflux and I'm doing it. anyway. But the yellow ones are the. least amount of acidity. >> and they're sweeter.

>> Sweeter than the red. >> Yes. Yes. Unbelievable. And so you just discovered them. >> Just discovered them. >> I mean, it's a wonderful time to. >> What were you doing that you discovered. them? I went to the park to the market, the Washington Square market. >> Yes. >> And then there were average tomatoes. Then I was like, I just got paid. No, no.

Did you go cash your p check and bring. all your cash for them? By the way, at. the farmers market now, do they take. Apple? >> Yeah, they do. They do. >> Okay, good. >> So, I had the confidence of knowing that. I could afford it. So, >> I went. >> I just got. >> that was wonderful. It was a connection. that we were not expecting. I never. thought anyone would say that about. tomatoes. >> That's what I mean. He didn't say I. >> so I was looking for tomatoes and then I. realized I just got paid because in all. the weeks that I've been going depending. on my financial situation. >> At first when I didn't have enough.

money, I would go to where the old. people are. >> So the the stalls where the old people. shop, then I'd be like, "These are. bargains. $2 for this.". >> And then the more my financial situation. changed, I went to where the young. people were. >> When is your financial situation. changing. >> in a week? We need to talk about how you're living. your life, Eugene. >> First of all, we need to talk about what. is happening here. >> We need to talk about how you're living. your life in a week. >> Okay. But first of all, I have no need. to laugh at that. But I do. No, no, that's not it's not funny. But it was.

unexpected was what the giggle came from. because it was farmers market, tomatoes, and financial situation, which was not. expected combo. >> How do you think I felt? >> Obviously, >> I'm the one who made the realization as. I was standing by the Yes. Now, who. called you into the heirloom tomato. stall. >> first week? >> It was where the old people were and I. realized they were bargain shopping. >> and they didn't do heirloom tomatoes. >> No, there was no heirloom to just normal. Roma tomatoes, >> you know, salad tomatoes. And then I. went to the other side of the market.

where. >> where younger people are. >> Yeah. Where you have to weigh stuff cuz. I've realized that's where the. >> Oh. >> is if you have to weigh stuff. >> then it cost more. >> Yes. Also, because you don't weigh where. you've just taken the stuff, >> they mess with your confidence. >> and then they. >> There's a whole thing going on at this. farmers market situation that I'm very. unaware of. >> And then they play on your ego as well. because once you've taken three heirloom. tomato tomatoes in a bag, waited in a. queue and then went to. take one out. >> Yeah, you have to buy them. >> Yeah. When I discover how much they.

were, I was like, "Thank God I'm doing. well in life.". >> You have to buy them. Then I took them. home. Then my life changed. I was I was. never the same again. to look up how you. define heirloom tomato. Like I know what. they are, but like. >> the more grotesque the better. >> Yes. >> You mean like the farmers? >> By the way, that's the same with. nectarines. >> Why do they look like that? >> Nectarines and stone fruits. Yes. >> When they are more blemished and they. have texture on the skin, they're. sweeter. It's the ones that are pretty. the better.

>> Yeah. Isn't that the Isn't that the the. general issue with American fruits is. they've they've made it look beautiful. and they've done that at the expense of. the fruit actually being delicious. >> No way. Yeah. All American produce looks. good. >> Yeah. Because And it doesn't taste like. anything. >> Yeah. But in Europe, the produce is not. about looking good. >> No, it tastes good. >> Yeah. You're in Europe like every year, aren't you? >> Yeah. And I grew up in Europe. Um, >> tell me more. >> So, I I um I moved to Paris and then I. went to boarding school in Switzerland. >> Wait, what? >> You didn't know all this? I didn't know.

all of this. >> And in season 2 of Solo Travel, I go. back to my boarding school after 40. years, and it hasn't changed like. walking in a time machine. But wait, hold on. This is really interesting. Hang on. >> Um, heirloom. >> I like how she cut out of her life to go. to heirloom tomorrow. She's like, it's. important. >> Wait, this is really interesting. >> The heirloom tomato. Old varieties grown from seeds passed. down through generations prized for. their diverse complex flavors and. colors. Unlike modern hybrids, they are.

used in many. Yeah, that's so. interesting. >> That felt like somebody was reading our. like 23 and me. >> Yeah, I thought that was interesting. >> That's like how they were talking about. us. >> They are known for rich complex and. sometimes sweet or tangy. >> This This Yeah, this sounds like our. zodiac. I'm loving this. >> Yes, exactly. Keep reading. >> Open pollinated and grown from seeds. saved and replanted year after year. And. here's the kicker. >> The grandmother, the mother, >> genetically modified. That's the key.

>> So that's the key. >> Yeah. And that's what. >> I've heard that's what they do with with. pumpkins with like competition winning. pumpkins. >> Oh yeah. >> They take the mother. What competition. are you winning? Like pumpkin pumpkin. growing competitions. >> You know, you're not in those. >> You know, they have them here in the old. country. I just like I just like how. sometimes people will say something and. then you just have to keep it moving if. things are normal. You know, like I've. noticed that in pumpkin growing. competitions or in pumpkin you just said. pumpkin competitions. In fact, >> you don't know the pumpkin.

>> Yes. But he just doesn't understand why. you know about them and you've ever. >> This is my This is what Eugene does. Yes. >> Thank you. I'm glad Tracy's here now. because now I have somebody who can at. least see my point of view. >> You said, >> "Yeah, it's the same thing as in pumpkin. competitions.". >> As if you're in them. Thank you. >> Have you ever been in a pumpkin growing. competition? >> No, but I've seen them on YouTube. >> Okay. >> This is what I'm you. hope is to go to one. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> But wait, Tracy, I want to go back. I. want to go back. Wait, I want to go back.

with you. I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah. You You. >> I want to go back. >> What do you mean you grew up in Europe? >> Okay. So, I was born in uh Los Angeles. >> Yeah. >> And then my mom moved to New York to do. The Whiz. your mom Diana Ross. >> Correct. That is who that is. >> Just so in case you don't know. >> Yes. And so we uh were here in 1979. >> Yes. >> And then um in about 7th grade my mom. was moving to Paris to do a movie that.

didn't happen. >> Okay. >> Um but we moved to Paris and shortly. before that she had met my stepfather. and they were dating and he had three. kids. My mom had three kids and we moved. into this beautiful apartment in Paris. on the Avenue Montine right three doors. down from the Plaza Antene Hotel. >> There's some really wonderful stories. about that. >> Um and then um we went to boarding. school in Switzerland. My stepdad's kids. were there and I went to a boarding. school called Lose which is in which is.

just outside of Geneva fridge. >> Oh, okay. Yeah. Cuz the way you're. saying all those words I was like You. better speak French. You better speak French if you don't. >> So, yeah. So, we we then um went to. boarding school. >> What do you want me to say? What's. wrong? >> Oh, just your mic down a little bit for.

the shot. So, >> when you say down like this? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, what is it? >> Who? Me? >> Sorry. >> No, it's okay. Like this? >> Yeah. Okay, great. Perfect. Um, I moved. it when I coughed and. >> you moved it again. They have to do the. work again. But technique flawless. >> Yeah. I don't want to cough. >> You can tell people who've like worked. in in the business for a while like a. professional singer. >> And I know. >> and then they go or they. >> or when the note gets big you go ah. >> oh. Is that what they're doing? >> Otherwise you're.

But I just loved your technique there. you know, when like haggarded, but like. a performer who's been in the game. forever and they have like the autopilot. of the performance part, you know, so. they're on stage body is falling apart. >> You they get like wheeled out onto the. stage and you basically hit play and. they just know how to do it and they. just get out there and it's and then. it's like silky smooth and I dream of a. world WHERE. >> you find me.

>> Yep. And the audience has no clue this. person is dying in front of them. No. clue whatsoever. >> Do that again, but mute the cough. What. do you mean? So the cough has to happen, but no sound. >> Oh, yeah. Find me again. >> Exactly. No. Yeah. >> Dreaming of you. >> That's. >> dreaming of you. >> You did it so flawlessly. Um, okay. Wait, wait. So, so. >> boarding school in Switzerland. >> How old are you? Boarding school. >> Uh, 13 and 14. >> Did you Did you like boarding school? I'm always torn on boarding school. Like.

>> it was terrifying. I found it really. terrifying. I mean uh especially I lived. at home with my sisters and my family. I. mean my sisters were there. >> How old were you? >> 12 13. >> Perfect age to get rid of someone. >> My mom went to London with my two uh her. my step my youngest stepsister and my. youngest sister. Me and my older sister. Rhonda and Katinka my stepsister. We. were all at Rosé there for a year and a. half. And then when my mom got pregnant.

with my brother Ross and Evan, we moved. home to the States. But my stepdad. always had a place in Switzerland. So. for the next 10 years, every summer, Christmas, we were back in Switzerland. So Switzerland was a huge part of my. growing up. But also those are such. formative years. >> Um 12 to 14. >> Perfect age to get rid of someone. >> He keeps saying this. >> And yet you might you mean because. that's a tough age. Do you have kids? >> Uh yeah. How many how many kids and how. old?

>> Jesus. How many does he have? >> Oh my god. That was like what happened. there? >> There was one in Bangladesh. >> No, no, no, no, no. How many kids do you. have? >> My daughter's 19. >> 19. >> I mean turning 18. Sorry. >> So you made it through the tough years. >> Yeah. Yeah. But I did contemplate. boarding school at 8. You. >> contemplated shipping her off. >> I I I just didn't have the guts to do. it. >> I need motivation. You know what would. help you ship off your child? A new. spouse. cuz alone it MAKES.

if I had one of those she'd have been. long gone. >> I mean the thing that's ridiculous. what's so ridiculous is my mom had a new. spouse. I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF IT from that. perspective. But you did you kind of you. put it in a you know different frame. maybe. I don't know. >> I loved it. It changed my life. >> Did it did it? Yeah, it changed my. perspective. I became a child of the. world, not an American. >> Oh, >> and that completely changed everything.

Also, I learned another language. I was. living with and around kids from all. over the world, like everywhere. So, I. became a child of the world and you I. realized I mean there's a thing as. Americans that you're very American. There's that sense of patriotism that is. >> unlike anywhere else in the world and. slightly bizarre, you know. Um, when you. go elsewhere, you realize like it's like. what is it for that sense of that kind. of patriotism, right? >> Um, cuz I'm I love the connection of.

being a human and when you live. elsewhere, you really go, God, we're all. the same. >> Yeah. I think I think sometimes. America's patriotism is a little. adversarial. >> Yeah. And and I find I find in other. places and it's also because America's. been so big and so dominant for so long. >> that it it it's sort of it makes sense, you know, not in a negative way, but. it's like it's very like America versus. America. You know what I mean? >> But most people in the world who come. from most countries, you just come from. your country. >> You just come from your country. And I.

mean, listen, I am. >> depends on how you want to define. patriotism. I mean, I love being an. American. I love America. You know what. I mean? Absolutely. But there's a. different thing that I if you only have. lived here, you haven't experienced that. other thing of like, yeah, this is where. I'm from and these are the special. things that we do here. This is part of. our culture. And so I just had a sense. and an ability to kind of learn the. world in that way and also to be. comfortable traveling like from a young. age. My sister and I were on planes by.

ourselves. We would take the train. >> Europe is like that. >> Europe is like that. you know, we would. take the train from the Geneva airport. to and just, you know, you're just. figuring it out. You like do that, but. there's a sense um and that was that's. very European to do. >> Yeah. You see teenagers on trains there. all the time, little crews of backpacks. just rolling, hopping on a train going. to Italy and then Belgium and then the. Netherlands and then what? Like it's. it's it's Huh. I never thought of that. as a as a Yeah. as a way of like it's.

interesting because America is quote. unquote very free but I'll say more. restrictive than any other country when. it comes to its parenting. >> Yes. I that that. >> kids are not free in America. >> How so? >> Well, >> you you've walked around New York for. like a few weeks now. >> Have you. >> Have you Have you seen the the kids in. the streets. >> tethered to each other? >> Literally. >> Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen them like. shouting and. >> like a like um. >> like on a leash? >> Like a prison gang? You know, you know. when you know when in uh what's that. what's that movie?

>> That's that's a bit it it. >> what's the Nicholas Cage movie where. they're all uh it's the famous one. >> Uh uh. >> Conair. Thank you. Conair. Yeah. Yeah. There's that scene where they're all. like walking. >> It's not quite like that. But yes, but. it is. >> it is like that. >> They don't have it's not chains, but. it's leash. >> Yeah. But it's like mega It's like a. whole squad of leash. >> Go to a park. >> No kid is playing without their parents. >> Kids don't just like walk home alone. There's like a there's I'm just saying. there's a there's a different level of. like clamp down on kid.

>> Yeah. I mean I also think now with. safety and security I mean growing up. you know latch key kids and all of this. and New York is different. Being in a. city is different growing up in in New. York versus being in the suburbs. But um. but yeah I mean it it did change my. life. It's kind. >> Who was your first friend in boarding. school? Like who's the first like. international friend you got? >> Well there was Fabio and Fabiola who. were Fabio and Fabola. were twins, Brazilian. There were um my best friend. was Muhammad Alcarei and Kaladal Zubeti.

And um I dated I mean when you say dated. at that age like what did we do? I don't. know. We kissed on the lips once or. something. Maybe kiss on the cheek. But. Juan Jose Puhana Fernando Luis who who. we called Puti. But my two best friends. were Muhammad Al Kuri and um and Khaled. Alidi. And Muhammad and I are still. friends. >> till this day. >> Mhm. And I dated um also I say this it's. so funny to me but I was in love with. him. Um this guy Moody Al Fiad. >> You've ended two relationships now.

>> Yeah. Just I was just tossing them. tossing them. >> Tracy Ellis Ross. >> Yeah. I was Tracy Silverstein then. Tracy I don't know. Tracy Joyce. Silverstein is my real name. >> And um and then who else? Um the the. twins Jada and Rosie Arditone. These two. Italian girls had the best style in the. world and changed like I feel like I I I. became a style person when I was in. Switzerland. >> What was the school was like a. specialty?

>> Very fancy, very expensive boarding. school called LRO. L E R O S E Y. And. for the winter season, so it was three. semesters. >> And we were in for the two summer and um. spring or the first whatever fall. >> skiing for the final one. >> Yeah, it we were inad. Ah, so you did go. >> and we would ski every day for sport. >> There you go. >> There you go. Fancy. >> I This answers so many questions I've. always had about you. >> Yes. >> Because you from the first time I met.

you, you've always seemed like the most. normal like born celebrity person I. know. >> That's kind. >> But you also exude levels of luxury that. I've never quite understood. >> Janicequa. >> Yeah. True Janicequa. because you don't. you don't have it like like you have. money. That that's different. That's not. what I'm saying. I'm saying like there. are some people who exude like a it's. like a thing about them. >> and you're just like what where is this. from? >> Cuz you you're extremely you're one of. the funniest people I know genuinely.

like. >> that's from Trevor. >> No, no, no, no. You comedy and you know. what I mean. Tracy just lives in like. it's like the music is always playing. comedy. She can just like she can just. jam anytime with anyone. You know those. musicians? You know those musicians. where it's like you can be like. strumming something and then they can. just jump in. and they can just jump in with you. They. can just jump in, start playing with. you. That's what you have with comedy. >> Yes. >> Thank you, Trevor. >> But then you're very normal for a very. funny person, which is abnormal.

>> No, that one is not normal. >> That's not normal. >> But you're also normal for Nobody is. >> No, no, no. You are. >> You totally are. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Trevor and I, WE. HAVE DINED. >> I FIGHT HARD TO BE NORMAL. >> NO, YOU DON'T. SHUT UP. THAT'S. RIDICULOUS. By the way, when I said to. you before, I look back at my phone and. you were like, "That was ages ago." It. was 2024. It's been 2 years since I saw. you. >> It's been 2 years.

>> That was the last time we museum. >> Was the airport or museum? When was the. last time we saw each other? >> The museum was before the airport. >> No way. >> Yes, it was. >> Damn time. >> Yeah, it was 2 years ago. I was like, "That is embarrassing.". >> No, if I had bit money on it, it would. have said like 6 months, 8 months. >> That's why when you said that was ages. ago. I'm like, what are you talking. about? Like, I just saw you. >> I text you after whatever the last thing. you hosted. >> I text you then and but I haven't seen. you. When I look back, the last time I. saw you was 2024.

It's weird. cuz I text you to tell you. I text you. to tell you you did a great job hosting. >> Thank you. >> Did he reply? >> Huh? >> Did he reply? >> Yeah, he did. >> Okay. What is that supposed to mean? >> Wow. >> What is on? What's that? >> Is just it's like, you know, just I'm. just checking. >> Yeah, I said hi. Uh oh, I first of all, I said the Tanahasi codes interview uh. interview or conversation was great. You. said thank you. Um and great job tonight.

as usual. Thank you, Tracy. Yeah, that. was February 2nd. That must have been. after the. >> That is so insane. >> You add the words as usual. Yeah, but. this Yes. Look, um 16 July 12th, 2024. That's when I saw you. >> How often do you see your friends from. boarding school? >> I don't I'm not uh Muhammad very rarely. because he lives overseas. >> Isn't that like the ultimate curse of. being. I I sometimes feel this. The more you've. traveled and the more you've had the. privilege of living in different places,

the more you also have the joy of. knowing different people. But it also. means as life progresses, >> your people are just everywhere. You. don't get to like there is like a charm. of coming from a place and staying there. because. >> yes and then you have your people. I. mean I have my group of friends. We. travel every year in July together. Um. >> I've seen those on Instagram. >> You know that group. Yeah. >> Can I tell you. >> the amount of. how can I phrase this? There are two. people in my life that I loathe hanging.

out with in public or having people know. that they're attached to me. Huh? >> It's Tracy Ellis Ross. >> Why? >> And it's Idris Alba. >> No, no, no, no. I need to understand. this. >> The amount of thirst messages I get. >> WHAT are you doing? >> ON YOUR BEHALF. SECOND MESSAGE. >> Let me tell you something, Tracy. >> Are they ever people that you should set. me up with? And are you failing as my. friend? >> Let me tell you something, Tracy. >> The amount. Let me tell you something. I'm so ready. >> Let me tell you something.

I know when you have posted a bikini. picture. I know. But I am not even on Instagram. in that way. >> So dead. >> I know. >> Oh man. >> Because I will just get texts diff very. varying degrees of Tracy. >> Oh my god. That is. >> Tracy. Damn. >> Yo, bro. Tracy. That's Then I know. Okay. Tracy has just posted something. first. Let me go and see what was posted.

so that I can understand. >> I'm dying right now. >> Cuz cuz with with other people it would. be they've said or done something in. public that has brought, you know what I. mean? Great shame to them and their. lineage. >> That's what most people would be that's. what most people would be texting me. about somebody. Yo, did you see what. your man said? I'm like a what happened. with you. I know every year you are in. Europe somewhere. >> Yep. A picture has been posted in a. pool, on a boat, in the ocean, and then. I must I must now field dating requests.

from. >> But is there no one that's been worthy? >> Tracy, would I not have sent them to you. if I thought they were worthy? >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> Half of them are married. >> YES. OH, GOD. >> NO, BUT IN THEIR DEFENSE, they're not. saying like a real But they're just. expressing it to me as a person. You. know what I mean? What do they expect. you to do? >> They just need to tell someone and they. can't. >> They just need to tell the person who's. there. I don't know why. >> Oh, they need to tell. >> Cuz they're going like, "You know her?". Then I'm like, "Yes." Then they're like, "Yo.". >> Then I'm like, "Okay, so what do you. want me to do with that? Why are you.

doing this to me?". >> I can't. >> Why are you doing this to me? >> Such a burden. >> Ah, bro. Idris Ela's the other one. >> Such Let me tell you something. Let. Idris Ela be anywhere close to me. >> Shake my hand. Hug me. Guys, it's. finished. It is finished. It is. finished. >> The women in your life. Every woman that. knows that I have a phone number uses. it. And those people all said the same. thing. Idris. That man.

>> That's hilarious. Sorry about that. >> No, don't be. I'm just letting you know. >> Okay. Well, I'll I'll. >> So, I know about I know about your. yearly trips to Europe. >> Yeah. >> How many friends? >> Um, there's a group of us, Samira, Romy, Karen, Monica, Kevin. There's five of us. that are always there. So, >> and we've been doing it for 21 years. This was the first year. >> 21 years. >> Same place. >> And this is the first year I didn't go. cuz I was doing the play. >> So, how many how many how many of the f. of of the six. >> are civilians and how many are.

>> Everybody's a civilian. >> I think Trevor might be the only like. famous person I know. >> in that group. That can't be true. >> No, I mean I'm just not I I my friends. I've known them for 30 40 years. >> So, they have normal jobs. >> Um Yeah. Monica is a creative director. and um um creative director. Uh Samir is. the editor-in chief of Harper's. Bizaarre. Romy's a makeup artist. Um. Karen is a designer that works, you. know, for different brands and her own. brand. Um Kevin uh works with Martha.

Stewart. Um. >> my hero. >> So, but no, I I mean, and then I think. of my other best friends. Um Anna is the. manager of um um vintage. vintage stores in Los Angeles. >> Yeah. >> Um and uh my other friend Anna is a. therapist. >> Um so yeah, >> this is sounding more like your friend. group. >> Yeah. >> But I've remember I've always said this. >> Yeah. >> I have a I don't want to say this in a. way that sounds too judgmental, but I'm.

always suspicious of celebrities that. only have celebrity friends. >> Me too. >> I just find it weird. >> I don't. >> You're telling me all your friends? >> I don't get it. >> All your friends. >> Yeah. It makes me uncomfortable. It's. different if like your friends are. celebrities that you've worked with that. I understand. You've been on a movie for. 6 months. You did a TV show for 10. years. >> What if all your friends? >> I'm saying all your friends and then you. get new ones as well. By the way, I've. seen people get new friends along the. way and then their new best friend is. also a celebrity and then they're at. their wedding and the celebrities there.

I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> The only thing I'll say is that some. people that grew up in the business, like that's just who they know. Um, I'm. I'm one of my best friends is Kelvin. Harrison who played my son in the high. note. We remain. >> DJ Kelvin Harris. Oh, sorry. >> Oh, Harrison Jr. >> Oh, sorry. Okay. Yes. >> Um, and he and I remained just best. friends. Um, he's like a really close. friend who's an actor. Um, I was trying. to think. >> the fact that you have to think. That's. what I'm I'm talking about the all. you've done good.

>> That's what I love about like so for. instance like Rihanna. >> Nope. Have you ever seen like hereps. when she post now she like posts like. more like Fenty stuff and everything but. when Rihanna used to post like her. travels Yeah. >> No way. Who's that? It's none of your. business. That's who it is. >> Yeah. The only one the only one we. There's one we know. >> Yeah. >> Um but other than that and we know her. through Rihanna. >> Yeah. >> No way. >> Oh yeah. No, it's her friends from her. friends. >> That's like one of I think that's one of. the most important things you should try. and maintain or keep. >> Yeah.

>> Is just like people from all walks of. life. But it's also something that for. me like my um with my people that have. known me forever, that know my family, that know my siblings, like they just. know my people, my in there's. >> my entire nervous system calms down. Like there's you don't have to do. anything. You're just yourself be. someone. >> Yeah. You know, um and we when I'm here, go to dinner at their, you know, we cook. dinner at someone's house or whatever. Like we're all going over to Kevin's on. the 13th and it's so nice. It's so nice.

to just be with your people. >> Kevin's the only guy in this group. >> Um he's one of the only guys. There's. husbands and stuff, but he's. >> husbands. >> Yeah, there's husbands and children. They like Monica like my best friend. Monica from college. Yeah. My Monica. from college, her he she had the first. kid of the group. He's going to college. Like we met in college. Does that make. you feel like now? >> That's crazy. I mean, I have so much. pride, but also like like I we knew each.

other in college and now her kid is. college age. Like I remember when he. came out, do you know what I mean? Like. I remember the night we went to dinner. before he g like there's like so many. things like that that are just nutty to. me. But then also I have a really big. family and I'm really close with my. siblings. >> Seven. >> Um no, there's five of us and then. there's three step siblings. But the. five of us are really close and all of. their kids we're really close. So, I'm. the only one that doesn't have kids in. my family. Um, so my older sister. Rhonda, her son is about to turn 17. Raif, he um lives here in the city with.

her. My sister Chudney has two kids, Callaway and Everly, who were just here, came to see the play and came over to. the apartment the other day. And then. Ross has two kids, um, Indigo, Leaf and. Indigo, beautiful names. And then Evan. has two kids, um, Jagger and Ziggy. And. so there's like a full on we have a big. squad of a family. >> That was another thing that blew up my. phone is there was a post going around. about you that said you were looking for.

a sperm donor and then you or you had. accepted one. >> the that I was pregnant. That was the. weirdest by the way. I was like was that. a slow news day? Like what who out of. nowhere decided to come up with and they. took a picture of a pregnancy test? My. favorite thing was whoever was holding. the pregnancy test everyone underneath. was like those aren't Tracy's fingers. Those aren't her nails. That's not her. Uh-uh. That [ __ ] was nuts. I thought. that was crazy. I was like, "What are. you guys talking about? What are you. talking about?". >> I never understand things.

>> Like out of nowhere was like like I if. there had been a picture of me with like. a bloated tummy, I would have been like, "Okay.". >> No, it just was a. >> So, so what I've learned in in the. weeks, you know, or months since that. story came out is there are I don't even. know if you call them like companies. There's like a bunch of people online. >> who generate fake content. >> Is that true? >> Yeah. Yeah. And and all they're trying. to do is create engagement and they No, they just create fake stories about. everyone everywhere. >> But what does that do for them?

>> Uh gets clicks. >> Views and clicks. Look at how much this. story it's views about and it gets. aggregated and it goes and it blows up. and it blows up and it blows up and it. blows up and they're getting money from. it and then they get Yeah. You get paid. If your tweet gets viewed a certain. amount of times, you get paid. If your. Facebook posts get viewed a certain. amount of time, you get paid. you get. So now because we live in a world where. um. >> clickbait is. >> Yeah. You're rewarded for attention, people now use any means to get. attention. So you find that's one of. many stories about you, >> but that one popular.

>> So they'll you find they'll make up I've. seen ones about me that range everywhere. from I like retired with my family on an. island somewhere. You did it? Yeah. With. my wife and kids. I'm like on an island. >> You have a wife and kids? >> Yeah. Apparently. >> Neat. And then there's another one where. uh. >> seem nice. >> That's so nice. >> There's another one. My favorite one is. like there's a series that does very. well on Facebook where I like save. people's lives. >> and it does very well on Facebook.

>> I'm sad right now. >> I save people's lives. You know, rescue. them from the randomly. It'll be like. it'll be like um uh let me tell you a. story about Trevor Noah that no one else. will. One day, my family and I were in. our car, and we had just been in an. accident. The car caught a flame and. started burning. We thought we were. surely going to die. I then heard a. tapping sound on my window. I looked, there was a man beckoning for me to move. away. He smashed the window, then pulled.

me out, then proceeded to pull out every. single member of my family. >> And it was Trevor Noah. >> At the end, I looked up. It was Trevor. Noah. At first, I thought, and it's this. whole story. And then like people in the. comments like, "Yeah, I knew he was a. great guy. Wow, this is so good. This is. beautiful. And I'm just like, this is. weird. >> That is crazy. >> You know what? It doesn't sound very. far-fetched. >> I could see you saying. >> you are the kind of guy I I wouldn't. save I wouldn't save a person in. America. I would save someone everywhere. in the world. >> You know what? Let me explain why. Let. me explain why. Before you judge me, let. me explain why.

>> I have judged you. >> My lawyers have told me. My lawyers have. told me. They've said in America, >> if you make that mistake, you can lose. everything. >> What do you mean? If you help somebody. who is in an accident, >> they can then sue you and say that you. are the reason that they are now hurt or. whatever, whatever it may be. You have. to be famous to avoid that trap. Anyone. anyone anyone? No. No. And this Hey man, I'm being it's it's something I hate but. it's like because the country is so. latigious.

If you, let's say you, someone's in. their car burning and you pull them out. >> If they're in, >> let's say they had a spinal injury, >> peels off, >> whatever, >> and most of it is in your hand, and then. they just half. >> now they're like a zebra. >> Listen, you've gone too far. >> Now they're like a zebra. We've gone. into another story. This is This You're. wonderful. You You But this is too far. Okay. Because Yeah. It's okay. And I. really enjoy your company.

I think he feels wounded. >> He's picking lint off his pants. >> But yeah, you can they can they can sue. >> That's really interesting. They can say. you caused their injury and then you'd. have to disprove it. You'd have to go to. court. It's a whole thing. It's a whole. thing. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So, you have to you have to be. very careful. It's it's sad, but it's. it's a real thing. Huh. >> So, I would try to save people in almost. every country in the world. In America, I would be like, "This is risky. It's a. tough one.

>> Very interesting. I mean, >> aren't you Haven't you been told these. things? I was told once if I'm ever in a. car that has a an accident, >> I must jump out immediately and just. walk away. Not me driving. >> Even if you're not driving. >> Yeah. Especially if I'm not If I'm. driving, I have to stay at the seat. >> I don't Who's telling you these things? >> If I'm driving, >> Tracy, do you not get the celebrity. Snapple that has the facts on the bottom. that tells you what to do if you're a. celebrity? >> I've never got I don't drink Snapple. Maybe that's why. Does Snapple still exist?

>> It does. It fully fully exists. No, but. this is this is another thing. You've. never been told this? >> No. >> Damn. Maybe my maybe the people I've met. in life have just been like ultra. cautious or they've just been scamming. me. >> I was told. >> I'll go with ultra cautious. >> Wait, do you have more? >> No. No. I'm That's the the one I was. told. If I'm being driven, you know, like those SUVs come and pick you up. >> Yes. >> That car gets into an accident, >> get out. >> Get out. Walk away. Well, now I know. >> because otherwise the person will now. make it about you, not the driver in the.

car. >> Oh. >> So, how will they make it about? They'll. be like, >> because they'll go, Tracy Ellis Ross'. car hit me. And you're like, it's not my. car. And they're like, no, we'll find a. way to make it your thing because you. are the person who has the highest. possibility of paying like a like you. you can pay a higher amount of money. >> Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't there a story of um. someone who rescued someone from a. building and then or they caught them. jumping. >> and then they broke their fall and then. that person sued them for breaking their. fall? >> Yeah, I'm all you don't know these.

things. >> because of breaking the fall. >> What's the craziest thing? Surely your. mom like taught you like crazy things. that like you can and cannot do. >> First of all, Trevor, please don't use. the word your mom just right now. Someone's mom is Diana Ross. >> No, but it is my mom. >> No, but Trace, it's okay. I'll take. this. >> No, no. Okay. Go. Okay. Go. Oh my god. Oh, yep. Okay. Please.

>> You can just say Oh, so how must I say. it? >> No, he said it right because. >> you can say Miss Diana Ross, your mom. >> No, because. >> Oh, that's a nice way to say this. >> Okay, that's nice. >> Because also we mustn't pretend. >> No, no, but Okay, that's a nice way. >> That's just for me. I I appreciate. everyone else feels like I do. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. >> So, Tracy, what what were you taught by. um or or were there any lessons you. gleaned about the world of fame from. Miss Diana Ross, your mom? >> Is that good? I thought that was good.

>> That's very good. Thank you. >> Although, I have to say maybe for the. podcast and for you, but like if we were. at dinner and you did that, I would. punch you. >> and then you'd have to walk away. >> I would be like, Trevor, go to your. room. >> You'd punch him and then get away. So he. doesn't sue you. >> Exactly. Exactly. And then I'd run so he. doesn't sue me. Good circle back. Nicely. done. >> Oh, he's funny. >> So. >> not sure about that. The music.

>> I don't I did it, but then I was like, I. don't I don't know if I liked it. >> Oh man. >> Um I don't know if there's some lessons. That's really interesting. I mean, I. think there's so many things I learned. that I don't know that I learned. you. must have seen. >> I mean, there's tons. But I, you know, because I grew up in this, so it's. different than coming into it and then. sort of someone giving you lessons. There's many things that I'm very aware. of that I know other people are not. aware of, >> okay? >> That I I I mean, I scan a room. I I can.

I can feel and see and know what's. happening in a room. I can tell people. that are, you know, for example, so I'm. doing this play right now. Yeah. >> Um, every brilliant thing. And in the. beginning of it, in the pre-show, it's. an interactive play. So there's what. does that mean? >> That means that I tell the story with. the audience. So yes, so there are um. I'm I'm telling a story and there's a. list in the story and when I say numbers. in the list, we've given out cards and. people throughout the audience from. balcony to on the stage um say the.

things that are on the card and then we. also cast five roles from the audience. in the pre-show and we bring so we so in. that moment I'm scanning the room along. with the three other associate directors. and we are looking for the right people. who are willing, who are a little bit. reluctant. Little bit reluctant. He. would be lost you. He lost. You see how. high your arm was? >> I mean, he didn't even let me finish. >> You said willing and your arm was up. A.

little bit reluctant. Almost too high. >> Timing is too much. >> So, um, and we look for five people who. are willing to do five of the roles that. make that part of the story better if I. do them with someone. >> Why do they have to be a little bit. reluctant? Um because the onus on me is. to keep the story moving, okay? And to. sort of conduct the room and the energy. in the room. If people are too eager and. they try to perform or be funny or act, it pulls us into and away from the.

story. >> You get you get people who are going to. come to the show to try and make this. their audition. >> Yeah. Ready to act and it it it doesn't. work. The main thing that we ask of. people is to be kind. Everything works. if you're kind and if you're open and. you're honest and you listen. If you try. to perform and be funny and pull the. attention. Even me, like my job is not. it's not about me. I'm there to be of. service to the story. And so in those. moments, this is back to the mom thing.

Yeah. Um, Miss Dian Ross. >> Um, so in the moment of scanning the. room, I'm very aware, and this comes. from my childhood. I'm very aware of. which people are um real fans, which. people are pulling attention. Like, have. you ever been in a room and you can tell. people know that you're there and so. they start laughing louder cuz they're. being they're conscious that you're. there and they are trying to be. comfortable. >> I've never caught the laughing one, but.

there there's certain mine is the. opposite. Silence. >> Ah, >> I I know when the silence around me is. artificial. >> Yeah. So people just quiet down because. now they're listening to your. conversation with your friends or. whoever you. >> or they're or they're doing this. >> Yes. Very casually doing that. >> Mhm. So I grew up. >> then you just know. You also know. because they've been cutting the same. piece of steak for a while. >> for like 5 minutes. You know what happens in a weird way? No, it's really strange. Like people. turn into background extras. They just.

>> Oh, cuz they're listening. >> Well, people get also people just get. uncomfortable. you know, they haven't. seen somebody famous that they, you. know, know from a TV show or from your. stand up. It's understandable. Yeah. You. know, it's like it's like when you This. is what I was liking it to like if. there's a a guy or someone that you're. flirting with you like or whatever and. all of a sudden you're like, "What do I. do with my hands?". >> Like weird. All of a sudden, your hands. become these like these things that are. just like minutes.

>> Hello. >> Oh, shame. You know, this this happened. to me. This happened to me yesterday. >> I was playing uh I was playing pickle. ball yesterday. >> and it was like a random session where. no one knew anyone. >> and then. >> where. >> it was a random session where nobody. knew anybody. >> Okay. >> Do you do you guys find more ways to. make this spot more awkward than it. already is? So, so the place I was playing at.

>> has giant windows that look out onto the. street. Have you been there before? Like. the street. Yeah, I know this. The. street street. So, if you're playing on. the one court in particular, >> people are just walking by you in New. York. >> Not one way. >> Twoway glass. >> People are walking by you in New York. >> So, at some point some No, >> a whole group of people gathered. >> But they were really funny. It was like. these kids. It was like I want to say. like eight like 13-year-old white boys. with like fluffy hair just like a they. looked like they were having a lot of. fun. >> and they came and stood by the window.

and then they saw it was me. So first. they were like oh it's Trevor. Then they. made it like seem like they were. watching the US Open. which made it so funny because it's. pickle ball. So they were like cheering. They were scream then when a point would. go wrong THEY'D BE LIKE NO YOU CAN'T. HEAR THEM. >> THAT'S ACTUALLY AMAZING. >> It was amazing. They were doing the most. extreme version of it. But then the. people who were playing. int.

>> No, I played with cuz I played against. it but I also played with. >> get sued. >> Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry. There was. a kid who was on the team that I was on. Thank you. >> Thank you. Thanks. Always looking out. for me. >> So. >> the kid then he just turned to me and he. went, "What is going on?" He's like, "Why do these guys love pickle ball so. much? That's so cute. >> Yeah, but then he couldn't he couldn't. play. He's like he's like I can't do. this. This is so distracting. Why does. that guy have his shirt off? And one of. the guys had his shirt up and was. swinging it around and they were. cheering. >> That's amazing.

>> I wish people would be more like that. Just like just acknowledge it or be. obvious. >> Yeah. Yeah. Be like super super obvious. As soon as Tracy Ellis Ross sits down. next to you, just be like Tracy Ellis. Ross just sat down next to me. Well, my. dinner got more interesting. >> This is out the way. >> It's out of the way now. >> Now it's out of the way. I mean, people. get uncomfortable. I don't know. I mean, it's it's such a funny it's a funny. thing. And our culture and American. culture is so obsessed with. >> it is. >> fame in a way that's odd.

>> You know what I think it is? >> I think it's because America doesn't. have royalty. >> Maybe I was going to say cuz I also. think like I was I took some time to. figure out like with sports and. professional athletes and I was like. they're modern-day warriors. >> They are. >> Mhm. So it's similar to, you know, it's. like they're these these gods that like. do this thing and then I guess. celebrities. Yes. It's it's royalty in a. way. It's this you you're held up in. this way that you are super. >> I think this country understands or the.

reason why it loves celebrities so much. is because it understands that fame is a. it could come to you at any time. >> So people believe that if they really. >> Now I think people believe it. I don't. think that always the. >> Now I think they do. I mean it can by. the way you can be that person now. >> it was that people they that was. unreachable. >> the super famous kids that you and I. don't know about. >> but in their world on YouTube or. whatever. >> for sure they make a lot of money. >> Oh yeah yeah we don't know them. >> No no no we don't even understand I.

don't even understand some of that. I. mean there's people there were these. kids that became famous for like opening. up toy boxes. >> Yeah. Yeah. Huge. >> Like like massive massive massive. following. >> Yeah. Fascinating. >> Ryan I think is his name. >> Yeah. Is he still a kid? I actually. don't know. That's going to be. interesting. It's going to be Ryan's. going to grow up in front. >> Yeah, the kid. Yeah, he was massive. Massive. Massive. Massive. We're going. to continue this conversation right. after this short break. Pretty much every brand offers rewards. these days, but most of them, let's be.

honest, they aren't that rewarding. Well, starting now, Verizon's doing. rewards different rewards you'll love. all year round for every customer. They're introducing Verizon dollars, which gives you cash back every month. just for being a customer. That's it. Plus, you have the flexibility to use. those glorious new dollars how you want. Shop with Verizon, get gift cards for. the brands that you love or transfer.

them to our partner programs. They're. also introducing Verizon Shine, where. now every Monday you can snag. once-ina-lifetime experiences like NFL. tickets across the globe, all-inclusive. music festivals, and the chance to meet. your favorite stars, plus daily drops, tickets, and pre-sale access all week. So, let's recap. Cash back in your. pocket every month with Verizon dollars. and epic experiences from Verizon Shine. every Monday, all year round. Now, those. are some rewarding rewards only from.

Verizon. Enroll today at verizon.com. >> Is this your first time on Broadway? No. >> My debut. >> I heard that the other day. I was like, that can't be true. >> And it's a oneperson show, a Tony. nominated oneperson show. No. >> Yeah. >> It's amazing. Give. >> him the fist point if you don't want to. Is this something you do with other.

people? >> How is this the first time? >> The finger the finger touch forces us to. engage. >> Yeah. That it's very intimate. >> and also the attention that is required. You have to take a lot of focus which is. very random. >> Yeah. No. And it's like. but the next level of it is locking in. eye contact. Wow. >> That's too much. >> Okay. Sh. You were telling us about. we'll get there. We're not THERE YET. >> THAT'S WE'VE GONE TOO FAR. >> NO. But no, but congratulations. >> Thank you. It's been really exciting. >> I. Why has it taken you so long is maybe.

the first thought in my head. And I mean. I mean I mean this is a compliment. because. someone said this to me the other day. They said uh this is Tracy's debut on. Broadway. I was like no that's wrong. I. confidently was like nope that's wrong. >> They were like no it is. I was like nope. that's wrong. It can't be. >> But it is. >> I mean it's interesting. It's felt like. coming home in all. That's what I mean. Yeah. I mean, I um and this play in. particular is extraordinary because it. uses every aspect of my skill and my. ability. Like, it's the there's improv,

there's me telling the story, there's. some singing in the middle of it. There's humor. It's really It's a story. about um mental health and depression. and suicide and removing the stigma. around that. >> Um so, there's that underneath it, but. it's. >> Wait, the stigma around committing. suicide or. >> Yeah. Um it's a story about um a person. whose mother has made multiple attempts. >> Oh wow. >> Um and in response to that, this. seven-year-old comes up with this idea.

of making a list of everything brilliant. about the world. >> And so it's it's um it's both heavy, but. it's told in this joyous, buoyant, like. lifeaffffirming way. And it's a really. beautiful piece of material. And it's. like 75 minutes, 80 minutes. Um, and. it's, you know, house lights up. There's, um, audience on the stage with. me. >> Um, it's participation with the entire. room.

>> And, um, it's not standup because. there's a script, but there's there's. there's an element of of that um that. sort of energy, and it's glorious. It's. glorious. >> It seems like you're having fun. How. long have you been How long have you. been going now? >> Um I did a fiveweek run. I'm in my last. week right now. Um. >> and then it's done. >> Oh no. >> Yeah. And um. >> Yes. But Oh no. >> Yeah. I mean it's it's it's been the. perfect amount of time. It's been. wonderful. Um I did I took about 2 weeks.

to learn the material. I got to. rehearsal pretty much off book and so I. had three weeks of rehearsal and when I. first started it genuinely felt like. swallowing a whale. Like have you ever. tried that? It's a lot. I'm I'm trying. to understand what that analogy means. >> too much. >> it exactly. It was just like what is. this? >> TREVOR'S LIKE I can swallow a whale. What's wrong with you? >> I I It's okay. It's weird when you've. been alive for more than 40 years and. then you hear a phrase you've never.

heard before. >> Correct. >> I've never heard it's like swallowing a. whale. >> I was I was trying to figure out what it. felt like and it felt like. >> trying to swallow a whale and then mama. bird it back to the audience like it. wasn't a whale. like it was just the. thing that I was delivering. And even. though I had learned the material, because of the improv, the novelty of. every performance is different, choosing. the people, like the whole thing was. just like.

>> what? And so even in rehearsal, you are. sort of gaining your way. It's so it was I I don't even know how. to explain it. And then by by the by the. second week in rehearsal in the. rehearsal space, >> there's 25 people in the room that you. don't know and you're all of a sudden. doing the play, bringing these people. into. And so it was just like I felt. like every cylinder was firing and then. you get into the theater at the end of.

your third week of rehearsal. And on. Broadway, I didn't know this was a. thing, but your dress rehearsals are. called invited dress. And they invite. other um Broadway people who can't. necessarily go to other shows cuz. they're doing shows. And my dress. rehearsals are at different times. And. so. >> industry nights. >> Mhm. But it's during the day. Like. they're weird times when there aren't. shows. >> And the first dress rehearsal had 150. people. The second dress rehearsal had.

400 people. Jeez. >> And then all of a sudden it's the first. night and the theater's full and you're. like, "Here we go.". >> And I felt like I was flying with my. feet on the ground. >> God damn. That was crazy. >> Where did that come from? WHO WAS THAT? AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, HERE WE GO. >> THAT WAS SO BRILLIANT. >> YO, that was so good. >> It was like nuts. I was like, "Okay, and. we're off." Like it was. >> Have you done um animation?

>> Yes. >> Okay. Thank God. Thank God. I was hoping. I was like surely there's like every. every. >> every um different platform. >> I would hope has has like reached out to. you. >> Which animation did you do? >> Huh? >> Which which show? >> Oh god. I I did uh Rugrats at one point. >> I did a fun silly role on there. I did. um a series recently that I I had so. much fun doing. I don't know why I can't. think of what it's called. I'm about to. do another one right now. A really fun. one. Um, I think I've done about five.

things. The series I did, what was that. series called? I loved. >> What were you doing in it? >> I I was playing a like a blob and I It. was God. What was that called? Rachel, what was that called? >> Rachel, what was it called? Where's. Rachel? Where's Rachel? Rachel is just. what Tracy says when she can't think of. an answer. >> JUST RACHEL'S MY ALTER ego there. RACHEL. RACHEL, WHAT WAS THAT CALLED? RACHEL AND. TRACY'S AI. UM, that series was so fun.

and I played a. >> blob. >> Yeah, it was like a blob. Um, I also just did another one um that. isn't out yet about the planets that was. fantastic that is all about the. relationship of the solar system, but. we're um, you know, humanized. And I. played I want to say I was Saturn. I. don't know. And I had a really funny. voice. You always seem like you're. having fun. >> I enjoy what I do. >> No, genuinely like every time I.

>> I. >> I mean otherwise. >> I've never asked you this, but like how. do you how do you how do you keep. finding the fun? How do you keep. enjoying it? How do you keep. >> I some of it's gratitude? >> Yeah. >> I feel grateful to be able to do what I. love. >> Um you know, I run a business. I have um. a beauty company and I'm a CEO and. founder and I'm dayto-day in that. business. >> But there's like a real company. >> No, no, no. like a real. >> No, no. I'm just saying this cuz you. know some people Yes. Yes. Yes. of. founders and CEOs. >> Yeah. Yeah. Of nothing.

>> Yes. And I I say this with respect to. them. >> Every time someone says that there's no. respect included. >> cuz if it was respectful, we would need. to mention the respect. No, but. sometimes but a lot of people say CEO. and founder and then next thing. >> and they are but they are the only. person in the business. >> Yeah. Just an IP address and them. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, no, this is like a real. thing. How how many years has patent. been going on? >> Uh we're about to be seven. Um, and uh, you know, we have 11 retail partners and. uh, huge number. >> Yeah, it's really it's a you know, a.

booming company and it takes a lot of. work. So, there's that part of my life. and I'm very good at that and I love it. and I love being a boss lady and I love. going um to the office and I love that. kind of um solution work that I do and. the creativity that's in that for me. because the the um marketing and. branding is really my and storytelling. and visual language that is really my. wheelhouse. Um and I love that. But. every time I get to be an actor, every. time I get to play, to have a sense of. play, to use my imagination, to be this.

like, you know, just creature who is not. afraid of anything and just has complete. liberation within my body and my mind. and all of that. And and to just do. that, I am lit up in a way that I cannot. explain and I'm so grateful. I mean, also, you know, I'm a black actress in. Hollywood. It's not like they throwing. parts at me. Do you know what I mean? It's that's not the way this business. works. And still, I mean, I get great. work. Do you know what I mean? But it's. still it's a thing, you know, you got to.

figure that it's a thing. And so. >> when I and and I do say no to things. now, like, you know, it's wonderful. Some of it is pattern. Like I've been. able to I have, you know, an income and. I I've made good money and I don't have. to do things to uphold my life and that. is wonderful. And I say things I say yes. to things that either not for financial. reasons all the time. Sometimes it's. just that it like lights me up, you know. what I mean? Like it's just something I. really want to do or try. And um I just.

feel grateful. I love I love it. I love. being a human. I love what being an. artist and an actor allows me to do as a. human to touch other people's humanity. I love being silly. I love, you know. what I mean? I always say to people um. like when it comes to dating, one of the. things I'm like, you can't think that. I'm going to be the prize on your arm. and be that thing where in my life I get. to fly LIKE AN EAGLE EVERY DAY AND BE AS.

big as I want to BE AND AS SMALL AS I. want to be and as sexy as I want to be. and as like to do all this and then I'm. just going to I'm going to cook it like. you know and don't get me wrong like I'm. a caretaker and I'm going to cook for. you and all those kind of things but not. because you expect it, not because you. want it, >> just because that's part of who you are. >> You're not going to put me in a box and. just be a little thing over here. Like. I'm a I'm a full planet. >> Does that make dating hard? >> You're a solar system. >> I don't know. Yeah, I'm a solar system. >> Yeah, I don't think you're a planet. >> I think I'm a solar system. >> Yeah. >> And um I don't know that it makes dating.

hard. Um. >> it does. >> You think it does? >> 100%. >> Why? >> I think what you've just explained is. what a potential partner sees. Mhm. >> And. >> can I can I tell you what just No, but. also what you've said. >> One of the greatest pieces of advice I. got too late in my life. >> and but I wish everyone got. >> was from Esther Pel. >> She was a guest on the podcast and she. said. >> the number one thing she would encourage.

people to do. >> is date as friend groups. And I was like. what do you mean? and she said one of. the worst mistakes people make is they. go on dates as individuals. >> and when you're on that date you're only. seeing one side of the person because. it's it's a very natural thing. It's not. like you know it's not always like. people are pretending or not pretending. but it's very difficult to be all sides. of yourself. >> when you are with one person. >> But they said like if you go out as. groups of friends like literally she. said people should try their best to go. hey me and my friends are going to do.

this. Would you like to bring some of. your friends and we're going to hang. out? She said, "You'll be shocked at how. quickly you get to know the person. Like. really really quickly.". >> That's actually sweet. >> because the other person can't hide. themselves when all their people are. around. >> No, you can't. >> So you'll you'll see them like you might. be shy with strangers, but when you're. with your friends, >> you you really come alive. You might be. nice with strangers and with your. friends the [ __ ] really. Yeah. >> And and that thing, >> you know, to what you're saying now, it. reminds me of that idea. I I get what. Eugene is saying because if somebody.

meets you as Tracy. >> in one dimension. >> in one planet of your solar system. >> and they have met you. >> Yes. I can see them I can see them going. >> oh this is who she is. >> all the time. >> and then the boss lady comes up and. they're like wa I'm a little intimidated. by that. Yeah. >> Wait, she can just go to Europe when she. wants to and. >> like I've always I've always wondered. that genuinely, especially especially. when it comes to ultra successful women. is how much harder it is to date.

>> But I think ultra ultra. >> because men men can be very insecure. about being with an ultra successful. woman because what do I bring to the. table? >> No, but that I think that that cuts. across everyone. I think what ultra. successful and famous people take for. granted. >> Yeah. is the fact that their potential. partner wants what a normal partner. would want. They want exclusivity. >> So they just want to be and so do I. >> Yeah. They want to be with But also if. you're ultra famous, people already know. you. >> and they've already known you before you. knew them. They can't pretend they've. never seen you before.

>> Interesting. Yeah. >> So they want a side of you. >> play pickle ball didn't know who Trevor. was. >> But he was a 14-year-old kid. >> Don't date him. >> This is not appropriate, Trevor. For me. or for you. Sorry, I don't know WHERE. THAT WENT, BUT. >> I JUST I'M SORRY. I realized it was not. what I thought. Like I. >> YOU SEE THE COMEDIAN? >> I THOUGHT HE WAS A GROWN PERSON. SO WHEN. you said that, I was like, "Oh, no. Don't.". >> You see what I mean? You see what I mean. now? This is what I mean. >> THAT WAS SO FUNNY. I had not pictured.

him as a 14-year-old. >> No. Oh, I'm sorry. I should have. painted. >> For some reason, when you were painting. the picture, I didn't picture him that. way. So, when you said that, I was like, "Ah, no.". >> Sorry. Okay. The exclusivity thing is a it's it's an. interesting it's an interesting idea. >> You're loved by more. Like I mean you. know if you're dating me and then I put. up a bathing suit picture and Trevor's. getting. Yeah. I mean I don't know. It's. interesting. Um. >> who do you Who do you think it's been. easier for you to date? Civilians or. fellow celebrities?

>> I've not really dated fellow. celebrities. A couple of times. No. No. I have a little bit but um but not not. so much. Um I don't know. I mean, I feel. like right now there's a question I'm. like, >> should I be dating like cuz I'm 53. I'm. like, should I be dating like a 62y old. man? >> No. What? >> He's so quick with his answers. He's. already like. >> like he's believes you know. >> No, no, I know. But so here's the. question then. >> Make my profile. Like what are we doing? Like go like.

>> maybe like at a stretch 45. >> at a stretch what? >> Yeah. If if you like I'm dating someone. who's old at your age and your looks and. your ability. >> but 62 is. >> and your effervescence. >> I have effervescence. >> It will overwhelm any 61year-old. >> Really? >> Yeah. You should be with someone. spritly. >> This guy said spritly. >> I know. I know. No. I had to move it. away. >> This guy said spritely. >> I moved it. I moved it away like it was. him.

>> Spritly. Get the [ __ ] out of here. I'm. not that Oh my god. I don't know. I. mean, I've dated younger guys and that's. been interesting. And then sometimes. it's not. I mean, it's individual. Do. you know what I mean? Individual. Um, I. >> men my age um often I don't I don't. know. I don't know. I think it's. individual. Every every guy is. different. I will tell you, >> finish your sentence first. No. Men your. age. >> No, I'm not doing it. I'm not going to. do it. But what I will say is there are. really great guys out there. I'm not I'm.

not gonna I'm I'm not one of those women. who's like I don't know ain't nobody. like I don't agree with it. I think. there's really great guys out there. I. think my thing is. >> think of how many people I know like me. Not so many. So maybe it'll take some. time for me to meet the person that's a. match for me. I don't know. I mean how. many people are out in the world like. you? You're pretty unique. >> I don't know you well enough to say that. about you. Do you know what I mean? I I. don't I don't want to I don't want to. leave you out, but like I I know Trevor. decently well.

>> Yeah, you you're a great guy. >> NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT. >> YOU SURE THERE'S LOTS OF OPTIONS, BUT. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND, >> I DON'T KNOW YOU. >> YOU JUST DISCOVERED HEIRLOOM POTATOES, MAN. HE TOMATOES AND TOMATOES. >> YEAH. And you use words like Spritly and. you can do things like this. I don't. know. I don't know you yet. Okay. >> I don't know if you going to end up with. anyone. >> I don't know you. Okay. But I know him. And what he said was. >> Oh. Amen. >> Okay. So, I'll I'll I'll tell you this. is what I've learned from my for myself.

and from my from my life. >> There is a it it's interesting. I was I. was having a conversation. I was in um. in Sweden. I was in Stockholm. It's at. some random dinner. It was an event with. mixed, you know, business people, actors, just a a real smorggas board, as. they say, of people, right? And um I was. sitting next to this woman who's just. like man, you want to talk about boss. lady like has connected everyone in the. world of business and she's run. successful businesses. She's like killed.

it. You know, she like vacations on. yachts and like like full on full on. full. You can even tell how far I am. from it cuz I say yachts. >> cuz rich people say boats. That's what. I've learned. >> Yeah. If you've grown up with money, you. say boats. To you if you haven't grown. up with money, you say yacht. But I say. yacht. >> That that is correct. >> That exposes how I grew up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I haven't like internalized money. It is a tell. But when you when you've. grown up around money, >> yeah, >> you say boat always. >> Do you want to join us on Gerald's boat? >> And and and the boat could be as big as.

a city. >> It will be as big as a city. >> But it's a boat. >> Yes. You always say boat. >> when you have money and you've grown up. in money is the important thing. >> When you haven't, you'll say yachts. So. anyway, she's, as she would say, she's. on boats. I I was like, "Oh, she. vacations on yachts." So, um, we're. talking, we're talking, we're talking. And then she said to me, it was really. interesting. we having this conversation. and then she said, "I feel like I'm a. failure in life.". >> I was like, "This is strange. You've. just told me about the greatest list of. accomplishments ever. What do you mean. you're you think you think you're a. failure?" And she said, "Well,

I'm 60 62 years old. I. you know, my kids are amazing and they. love me and we vacation all the time and. they're great and they're doing well and. my businesses are doing well and like, you know, my friends and my like my my. ventures and everything I touch turns to. gold.". But I just I can't find the person for. me and you know it feels like love is a. story that I will never you know. complete and I feel like a failure and. >> that's hard hard perspective. >> Yeah. But it was interesting cuz I said. to her, I said, maybe it's because it's.

so clear to me because you're saying it. from the outside, but I found it interesting that she was. willing to define her entire life. >> through that. >> through one lens alone when every other. metric, and I mean every other, she's in. shape. She's. >> But, you know, I've done speeches about. this. >> Really? >> Oh, yeah. But that's societal. She's. push pushing up against against a. societal norm and a cultural and a. patriarchal and misogynistic norm that.

is you even if you don't know that's. what you're fighting against that's what. you're fighting against. >> Um. >> the thing that defines your value as a. woman who wants you. >> Yeah. >> Oh damn. >> And and and I I won't subscribe to it. I. don't. My life is wonderful and it does. and I experience loneliness and all of. it and I want a partner and I might not. find one. I don't know, you know, and. I'm not going to make that mean. something about me. >> and I'm not going to decide that because.

I and you know, and then the other thing. is on Girlfriends, I talk about this all. the time, but on Girlfriends for 8. years, 173 episodes, I was a successful. woman who couldn't find a partner and. was waiting to be chosen. And I didn't. realize it, but when I left the show, I. have spent years and I talk publicly. about it now because I didn't realize. how much I had spent years waiting to be. chosen. And I started to realize I'm. like, what the I'm the chooser. I can.

choose my partner and I can choose. I. don't have to sit around being a prize. making a life so that I get chosen. I'm. also the person looking for a partner. And. >> society tells women that that's our. worth. that having children and I mean. not everywhere but that is that is no. for the most part no it is and finding a. partner I mean and then it's a thing. that people ask you all the time and I'm. like oh my god why are we so interested. in this you know um. >> you know what I've noticed though it's.

it's similar to alcohol. >> people press you until you say you went. too far and you've stopped. >> but if you just say I'm I'm not drinking. >> so if you go like a drink and you go I. don't drink alcohol they go like why. Not. Why do you don't want to drink? But. if you say I stopped, people like oh. Same thing with with your relationship. status. If people say, are you single? Are you married? You say no. Never. married. You've never been. No, you've. But if you go like, yeah, divorce and. then people go,

>> oh, I understand. Okay. >> Yeah. >> You you have Okay. Okay. >> Or here's my favorite. You know, I'm 53. People like for a while there there was, "Have you ever thought about having. children?" No, never thought about it. I'm so glad you brought it up. Should we. talk about it now? You and I. Should we. talk about why? Let's Well, let's get. into it. WHAT THE [ __ ] ARE YOU ASKING. ME? >> I never thought about I'm so glad you. brought this up. >> I'm so glad you brought this up. I never. thought Do you think What is I mean, is. it time? Do I do it now, >> man? I would hate to meet you on the. wrong date in the wrong setting. Your.

brain cuz you see that's what I mean. You're the perfect combination. >> Yeah, but like she's too smart and too. funny to not eviscerate you. Now imagine. meeting this person randomly out of. stepping on the wrong landmine. Bro, it's finished, bro. You're finished. >> And you don't know what happened. And. I'm laughing. I'm like, >> can I can I tell you a really funny. story about a famous a very famous. comedian who came on I'm I'm going to. make it as vague as I can so that no one. feels called out.

on a show that I was my show. >> Yeah. um and came and was doing a funny bit. and decided. in front of everyone to try and. viscerate me with his comedy. >> Tried to think that the pretty girl who. was this was back in the day nobody. really knew what I was capable of or. not. But you know when I get pushed into. a corner I. >> you have that. >> I that's going to happen and so I with.

humor on camera in front of everybody. and it was my house you know what I mean. I eviscerated. him. >> and I was like and then when I walked. away I was like wow that was harsh but I. was like he did it to me first. >> Yeah. No no no that thing. >> but you know when two standup comedian. >> don't put us don't put us in the corner. >> Don't do that. I've seen people do it. with Eugene where I watch and I see. Eugene's eyes like slowly like building. and I'm like oh goodness oh goodness. you'll get him on Nove you'll get Eugene. on like a chilled day and then you get. like random people like look at this.

what's up with that shoe and what you. look like a and they start like and you. just see Eugene like sitting there like. >> you know you know what it reminds you of. a fighter THAT'S LIKE THESE. >> THAT'S WHAT I YES THESE ARE lethal. weapons. >> it's like but like he's in the movie and. he's that guy who like stopped fighting. long ago and He's just sitting there and. guys are like, "Hey man, YOU GOT TO GET. UP. YOU GOT TO do something." And he's. just there like. breathe. Breathe. And then when you G. starts, you're like, you have that. We. But I think we all have that. >> If you have like a comedic like real,

>> it's not about being funny. I'm not I'm. not a funny person. It's not that. >> You have this thing where it's like, oh. man, don't don't put me in a corner. >> That that version of Trevor, I call him. the Shabban Queen. >> Yeah, he does. >> The Shabine Queen. >> Yeah. So in South Africa uh we had. shabines taverns I don't think speak. easy vibes like like in America and uh. but in the it's funny in black America. you had it as well where it was like the. woman who ran the underground the juke. joint I think it was called yes.

>> and they ran it. >> and they had a comeback for every drunk. man in there they had a line for the. cops they had like they were ready all. the time Eugene calls me that he calls. me Shabine Queen he's like you don't. want Trevor Shabine queen to come out. >> That's fantastic. >> Cuz I'll be very chill and then at some. point I'm like, "All right, all right, all right.". >> But also, you know what I love? What I. love about you, Trevor, >> the microwave, >> which is which is similar to me, is that. your humor is kind. You're not. >> I don't I don't try like Yeah. I'm not.

trying. >> I'm I'm not that person either. I'm not. mean at all. But. >> don't push me in a corner, man. >> You will lose. >> Don't Don't put baby in a corner. >> Don't put baby in a corner. >> I was Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I know. And also, they don't always expect it. from a woman. And. >> yeah, never. >> Don't press anything. We've got more. What now after this? >> This message is brought to you by Apple. Card, shaved ice by the beach, a trip to.

the state fair, and a throwback flick at the local. drive-in. They're more than just items. to check off the summer bucket list. There are also opportunities to earn 2%. daily cash back when you use your Apple. Card with Apple Pay. Apply for Apple. Card now and use in minutes with Apple. Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple. Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank. USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and. more at applecard.com.

>> Uh, Girlfriends. Why didn't Girlfriends. get the. mainstream acclaim it deserved? I was I. was I was. >> You think of the time period, think of. what was happening then? >> So, it was '90s and it was very. segregated television at the time. >> Was it really? So, I'll give you my. perspective just so you understand why. I'm so confused by this. >> in South Africa. Girlfriends was one of. the biggest sitcoms on television. So in. our world, in my world, in fact, when I.

hear people talk about shows like. Friends, >> I don't say this. >> with any like disrespect. I'm not saying. this disparaging me, >> but I go, "What [ __ ] are you coming. with telling me that this is the. greatest sitcom of all time? >> I like him. >> It means no disrespect, >> but yo, >> I grew up where Friends and and. Girlfriends and all of these came on. around a similar time, so I was watching. them back toback. Granted, I was much. younger, but still.

and and we didn't have the hierarchy. that American TV had. So, Family Matters. and Full House were all like, "Let's go. baby back to same channel.". >> Yeah. So, there was no like, "Oh, this. is there was no indicator.". >> A mixed bag of of of similar. >> So, there was no indicator that one. should be perceived in a way differently. to the other. So for me, I remember. watching Girlfriends going the comedy, the situation, the the the elements of. the story, what is being defined here. That to me was revolutionary,

>> but it was never credited. >> with the revolution, which was weird to. me. >> No. And and the um it's been given that. in hindsight. >> Oh, it has. >> a little bit. >> Okay, good. >> Um but we certainly didn't have it back. then. No, I mean never had gotten no. talk shows, no Tonight Show, no uh David. Letterman, no uh no Emmys. Had never. been to the Emmys. You are lying. Had. never been to any. >> You were never asked on a late night. show. >> No. As a matter of fact, I have a story.

Um it was Jay Leno and I had girlfriends. and the comment was, "We love Tracy. Call us when she gets something.". >> While on girlfriends. >> Oh yeah. And I was like, I remember. thinking, get what? Like, what else do. you have to get? I don't know. And it it. just was not. We love her, but it was. not considered. And the other thing was. I remember this. I remember specifically. the show Monk. Do you remember that show. with Tony Shaloo? >> That show had a quarter of our.

viewership. >> A quarter of our viewership. And I. remember seeing him on the show and I. was so confused. And I was like, I don't. understand. Is it viewership? And the. only thing you can boil it down to, you're like, is it just racism? Like I. don't like I'm not sure how to like how. do you categorize it? Like I don't know. what it is. Um never went to the Emmys. The first time I went to the Emmys was. on Blackish. >> Yo, this is crazy. >> Yeah. >> This is like this is to me this is. mind-blowing. >> So yeah,

>> because they all existed in the same and. and ignorantly because we're in South. Africa, >> we're just watching this going these are. all the same. like they all they all. occupy the same level. >> That's so interesting. I I've never. heard that before that. Thank you for. sharing that. >> Quality. >> Um. >> the show was great, >> prestige, all of it. So, we didn't we at. no point watched any of these shows and. thought that they were not of the same. caliber whatsoever. >> It was really interesting to me when I. came to America. I went, "Wait, why. girlfriend?" And then it was like almost.

only black people knew about. Girlfriends. And by the way, when I. first did Blackish, I remember I first. went in to do my uh looping session, like you know, for voice over or. whatever with the stuff, the lines that. weren't working. >> And I remember the team was like an old. school like. >> um TV like um veterans, right? And the. guy was like, "My god, I mean, it's like. it's like you've done this before." God. >> And I said, >> Eugene and I talk about that all the. time. And I said I said, "No, but but.

but I have." And he was like, "I mean, but it's not like you were on a comedy.". And I said, "No, I was on a comedy.". He's like, "I know, but it's not like. you were a lead." And I was like, "No, but I was." He's like, "Well, it's not. like it was network." AND I I SWEAR TO. GOD, >> WHO IS THIS GUY? >> EXACTLY. And I said, "No, but it was.". And he was like, "BUT IT WASN'T PRIME. TIME." I MEAN, HE KEPT GOING. IT WAS. LIKE IT WAS LIKE A EXACTLY. And I was. like, "But it was." And he was like, "Oh, I see. What was it called? >> Oh, wow.

>> And I was like, "Girlfriends." And he. was like, "I'll have to look that up.". >> Wow. >> And I remember thinking, "Wow, it's like. we were just not even It didn't even. exist." But, you know, again, back to my. gratitude. I'm like, "But I had eight. years. I started on Girlfriends. I was. pretty talented. You know what I mean? I. thought I was pretty whatever." But I. became a seasoned actress. I became a, you know, 173 episodes. >> Yeah. You learn how to do it, you know, and it's different than movies, but like.

>> it's it's a real thing. You learn you. get you become a vet a veteran, you. know. I had an opportunity to do 173. episodes of a show. It's no joke. And. then I did 170 some odd episodes of. Blackish. 16 years of my life on shows. 16 years. I'm like, girl, that's okay. Career. Do you know what I mean? >> Yeah. No, for real. >> Like that blows my mind. And I remember. after Girlfriends, I remember Christina.

Applegate. Um, she had her third, so it. was Married with Children. Um, and then. there was the third show. Her and Julia. Julia Louie Drifus were two actresses. that I was like, I want that career. I. want that. I wonder if a black woman. could get that. I wonder if I could do. that. I've done it. That's I mean, it's. pretty it's it it blows my mind. Like at. 53 there, you know, you take stock. you. look at things and you're like, "Okay.". And I just go, >> "Wow." And then even with this Broadway. show, you know, it came to me. It just.

felt like a divine moment. And I'm like, >> I didn't go looking for it and it came. to me and I thought, "Wow, in this. chapter of my life, which is such a. beautiful chapter at 53 years old to. experience something that like is a. dream, a dream. My first time on. Broadway, a oneperson show, a Tony. nominated show that I didn't ask for.". And I came in here and I'm like, "What a. what a treat." Like, look at this. How. I'm still working. This is great.

>> This explain No, this explains it now. >> You sound like how I sound inside. whenever I'm doing something. >> just like. >> No, no, no. Like, can I tell you, you. know what's funny is you have that one. of the greatest gifts in my life is how. Eugene. >> reminds me to do that about like um the. world. >> I'm good at doing that for like work. things. Strangely enough, I've struggled. to do that with the world. >> Mhm. I understand that. >> So Eugene is the person who will go, "Man, do you ever appreciate all these. trees that we get on our walk?".

>> A. >> and I'm genuinely like I've never. actually Yeah. I mean the trees. And. he's like Eugene's like, "No, man. Look. at yo, look at these trees. That's. really. >> I'm like these Okay. He's like, yo, look. at I mean, look at the Wow. Look at that. river there. company that river just. flows like this. >> I'm very much that person. >> Yeah. So, but you you have I would argue. the super combination of us. >> cuz I can do it with like work things. I. always appreciate.

>> he sees around the corner very quickly. >> I have to remind him on the work things. and then he has to remind me on the life. things but even when I've been with you. when we're in an art gallery, a museum. at dinner you have. >> that's a really now it it actually. explains it to me now. I've always. wondered how you are so not just normal. but radiant. But I I. >> radiant. That's. >> I wonder where you get. Where do you think you got it from?

>> I think I was born with it. I do. I. think I came out with a I mean my middle. name is Joy and my mom said. >> no way. You want to know what my middle. name is? >> What? >> Which means. >> Joy. There you have it, folks. I want you to know I a little bit feel. like ET when we do it. >> That's exactly it comes from. >> from one species to another. >> Fantastic. >> Oh, joy. Okay. >> Um but I don't know. I mean, you know, I.

also know that for me the capacity I. have for joy is matched on the spectrum. with the capacity I have for darkness. >> Oh, interesting. >> You know, I would say more. I just that. full spectrum of who I am. >> Yeah. >> Um but the truth is my. my genuine temperament is joy. >> That is. >> okay. That's that's that's your. way. >> The way I think of it is like I always.

think of like people like coins. When. we're spinning, >> there are two ways the coin can spin. It. can be spinning almost silently and and. balanced and then it can be spinning. like in a wobbly. >> and I go like you want to be your your. ideal spin. >> but there's also the other side of your. spin which is like it's still going but. it's like and okay I hear what you're. saying so your default. >> yeah my default is joy um. >> I ran at a pace of anxiety for many many. years of my life.

>> um and I don't anymore I mean. >> when did it stop and what changed itely. did this to him the other day. >> about you or about him? >> About myself. Yeah. >> Yeah. You you've settled. >> Yeah. There was a time. >> 45 this year. >> Yeah. >> Wait, what what what changed 100%. >> Um all the work I've done. Um. >> Yeah. But something must have changed. like what I I I I want to dig and. understand this because I I think it's. valuable selfishly to me, but to anyone. else is like. what clicks. Some people will won't hit.

that until 70. Some people don't hit. that until their deathbed. Some people. never hit it. So my question is what. changed? Cuz you had, like you just. said, 8 years on a prime time show, 8. years on another terrified and anxious. through Girlfriends. Okay. >> Um not comfortable in my skin. >> Um I've done a lot of work that has felt. like chewing on ground glass. >> Um in the attempt to um. get comfortable being where I am.

um and trusting like. trusting that I'm okay and that has been. um hard-earned and it's something it's a. daily reprieve you know. >> Yeah. >> Um. >> and then blackish I started to settle I. think I became a woman during. Girlfriends but I didn't have time to. integrate who I had become. Um, and then. I spent years, you know, thinking the. pearly gates of Hollywood were going to. open and they didn't. And having to.

self-generate. um my own sense of creativity and. ambition and um make my own way. Um I. spent, you know, my childhood tangled in. the rainbow of my mother's um. extraordinary light. >> Yeah. Right. >> Also in her embrace. Not in her shadow. In her embrace. I've never felt um but. it it fanned a flame for me to figure. out who I am. Um I felt like a fraud if.

I just enjoyed her attention. >> Okay, that's interesting. >> Um I needed to know who I was and fill. up my own light and my own planet and my. own system, you know. Um and then. Blackish um has been extraordinary was. an extraordinary experience for me and. that partnership with Anthony was. something um I found a sense of safety. and an ability to um explore my gifts.

and my talents in a way that I hadn't. before. >> Um. pattern occupied something for me. I. felt like I built something that meant. something. >> that had purpose. Um, pattern was the. first thing that I made that was just. absolutely mine. >> What was that? >> What do you want to do? >> Mhm. >> There's a thing that you want to do that. >> No, I was saying I was saying this to. Eugene literally in the car on the way. here. I said to Eugene,

>> one of the things we take for granted in. life. >> is that we very seldom have been asked. the question, what do you want to do? >> What do you want to do? Yeah. >> And people like no people ask, "Hey, what do you want?" No, no, no, not. casually. I mean like in in the in the. meaningful moments of your life, >> how many times we take it for granted. literally from the beginning of our. lives when you're a child, >> you are very lucky. >> if your parents or carers whoever. caregivers who say what do you want to. do like and really mean it.

>> What would you like if you have all your. agency? What would you like to do? >> And then facilitate it. Not not not a. platitude. And then you look at it like. when you're older, what would you then. you become an adult, >> your work doesn't ask you what would you. like to do? >> No. >> The things you do in life don't ask you. what would you like to do. >> And it's interesting as you keep moving. through life. >> when you stumble upon it, >> you go, "Oh, this is the first time it.

was what I wanted. >> Not not where I was pulled, not what I. was offered, not. >> what I'm good at." No. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What do you. >> talent can be a trap to do? >> Talent can be a trap. >> Yeah. Absolutely. That's really. interesting. >> Yeah. Then people assume. >> Yeah. >> That just because you have it, you must. use it. >> Then they give you what they think is. good for you. >> and then you start feeling ungrateful. for not taking what they think is good. for you. >> It is especially I think I don't know if. it's the same as a a man, as a African.

man. Um, but as a woman to not take what. you're offered. >> and as a black woman is like. is is it takes a a lot to learn how to. do that. It's the same. >> Same same. >> I mean I I think it's layered for us. because it's like. >> one. >> you've got the color side of things. So. remember in South Africa we saw the. first generation of non-white TV or or. or public anything, right? >> Wow. >> Comedy wasn't legal in the country. before 1994. So there wasn't even like a.

comedian that you could like look up to. That wasn't a concept as a child. >> So that's why the the American TV we saw. was so formative cuz it was like, "Oh, that's a thing." and then people laugh. and then you know. >> um. >> but when we entered those spaces for the. first time the custodians were still. generally white people. >> who. without realizing it at times still. approached you with an attitude of hi.

you oh wow well you you're lucky to. >> oh you you're lucky to be here. >> there was that feeling and so I think. that that still has and then I mean I. know for us sharing this coming from. very modest backgrounds, there's also. that element where it's like you should. be grateful for everything even if you. do not wish for it to be. >> Oh yeah. I mean the politics of. gratitude are intense as a black person. Intense. >> So you just you just have to be have to. have to have to have to have to have to.

But then what people don't realize is. gratitude isn't gratitude when it's. forced. >> No, it's very different. >> That's acknowledgement. Yeah. That's. acknowledgement. I can acknowledge what. I have. to be grateful for it is. different. >> So people will say like I'm grateful for. everything. You must work. No, no, no. I. get that. But then you I genuinely. believe sometimes you just acknowledging. that you have it. >> Being grateful for it is is the diff. It's like it's the difference between. eating something and being full.

>> and tasting and savoring something. going, "Oh my god.". >> To be in the actual gratitude is to go, "Wow, what a delicious." I'm sorry. Where's this from? You know, it's like. it's that You said the word compliance. which is really interesting in that. context. >> Gratitude as I think that's in the. politics of gratitude is there's a sense. of compliance. It's like it is a um a. way to be differential. >> and to say yes I'm grateful for what. you've given me as opposed to this sense.

of being of this is what is mine. >> Yes. >> This is what I'm this is what I'm worth. This is me as a human being. you can. whatever you're doing out there. But. this is and I think that is what shifted. for me. A sense of um. belonging to myself, >> a sense of. >> um. belonging to myself and and also to.

my humanity, which I think is something. that I've grown into and discovered. And having a sense of that for myself. has allowed me, not every every moment, I mean, you know, I'm human. Um, but it. really has allowed me to be inside my. life in a different way that I'm deeply. grateful for. >> Yeah. >> See, that's beautiful. That's that's that's the way it is. That's that to me is true. >> Now, your friendship makes sense to me. >> These two.

>> You two? >> Yeah. These two. >> It makes so much sense. >> Yeah. It's totally. >> I mean, it's so funny. I mean I Trevor I. I think you know this I don't know but. like I don't. >> you know I've gone to your house for. dinner. Um and like that's not something. I do like I don't I'm not. >> I don't have people over. >> Yeah. No, you know what I mean? >> He will tell you this. >> Yeah. And. >> even you saying you've been to my house. for dinner is like a some people who. know me be like. >> what she say with me. The people that. have been to my house for dinner. I'm. like people are like oh so and so maybe. I can come over. I WAS LIKE, "NO,

>> NO, >> NO, NO. Maybe I can join dinner with so. >> I'm I'm so um like I just don't, you. know, I don't do that." And um and I. it's there are certain people that you. go, "Oh, that feels safe. That'll be. that'll be good. This is a real person.". Like it's always your same friends. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, um and by the way, the guy. like we share now who makes the food, you know? So, and those are things that. like I don't take for granted in this.

industry that we're in. You know, there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of bells and whistles. There's a lot of fun. It's nice. It's. fun. I love to enjoy it and all that. kind of stuff. But then there's. something different, you know, and um. and I'm I'm grateful for those. touchstones that do exist that you see, you know, you we see each other at. event. You're like, I know him, you. know, that's a good one. But, you know, you it's a it's a the business is funny. >> Yes. and it will take what it can from. you. >> I think I think I think life is like.

that. >> The business is a is an amplified. version of it. Yeah. >> But I think life is like that. >> That's true. >> And and. >> in life I I'll I'll often say this, you. know, like now I'll I'll be asked to. like talk to high school kids or. whatever, go and do these things. I. always feel I'm like what am I doing? Cuz I still feel like a high school kid. >> But. >> keep that forever. >> But genuinely, one of the only pieces of. advice I'll give them is something I. wish I had when I was younger. And that. is I go. choose your friends by how they make you. feel. >> Oh yes, Trevor.

>> That's like the big one. >> Trevor, you want to do it? >> No, that's his thing. >> Okay. >> Yeah. There's the rock papers. >> No, like choose your. >> But it's true. >> Yeah. And. >> by the way, this is also what I say. about dating. Yeah. >> I always say to people when you leave. that date, >> ask yourself how you feel. >> Yeah. Even when you're on it, >> ask yourself how you feel. Not what. you're doing, not what he looks like, not no. >> how do you feel? Did you feel small? >> Did you feel like yourself? Did you like. all those things? Because people forget.

to ask themselves those questions and. they don't check in. >> And then you're like. >> in a relationship and you're like you're. like, "Yeah, well, how did he make you. feel on the first date?". >> Yeah. The thing I say to people is you. you should never take for granted that. every part of you is you. >> Right. I I've I've always I like I. shouldn't have, but I've like I've. fought with a few like gurus and monks. who I have, man.

>> He just said I've fought with maybe. that's what's going I have. You know, I. have. >> I'm dead. >> You know me, bro. You know me too well. Like. >> cuz I like if I there's something I. don't agree with or I don't understand. or I think it could be like clarifi I. just I'll say it. And there's like a few. gurus and monks will be like you know. there's one who was like he's like you. are not you are not nervous that is not. a part of you that nerves is an external. and I was like yo man I was like yo I. don't agree with you I was like no you. are nervous. >> all of these things are a part of you.

>> the difference is. >> there's a state that you are most. >> not comfortable but you you you're sort. of vibrating at your best frequency. >> I call it my favorite part of me. >> yeah your that's the best way to put it. your favorite part of you. And so when. I'm when I think about my life. >> outside Eugene, >> yeah. >> Yeah. You're going, who are the people. in my life. >> who in some way, shape, or form remind. me of that person. So even when I'm not. them, they sort of go like,

>> "Hey, hey, >> hey, where are you?" Then you're like, "Oh, yeah. >> Okay, that's a nice thank you." without. judging you, without pushing you, without pressuring you, and there's even. like work that you will do or activities. that you will do that will remind you of. like of that part of you. And those. things like everything you've said. >> clicks. It's funny you say this. I. haven't asked her about this because I. mean it's not like we're like friends. and speak, >> but from the few conversations I've had. with Rihanna, >> she had like that like and I don't say. this in a familiar way honestly, but she.

>> she just like she may she may have. always had it. >> but man you cannot deny that Fenty like. >> it just. >> because what it does is. it's exactly what you said about. pattern. Depending on who you are in life, depending on where you are in life, you. may feel like you are always in a. position where you are waiting on Yes. >> So, you're waiting for a train to stop. and pick you up. You're waiting for the. bus to stop and pick you up. You're. wait, you're always waiting for the. thing. You're always on the platform.

>> And then if you're lucky enough, you get. to build your own station and you're the. one now. >> You're the conductor. >> You're the conductor. >> Yeah. >> You know what's interesting about. Rihanna? I mean, I'm I I really enjoy. her. She's I just not not necessarily. personally but just with but I remember. when she did the halftime show I saw. something I'd never seen. >> That's what I'm saying. [ __ ] amazing. >> Yeah, that's what I mean. >> She was like. >> I we had never seen it. A black woman. who at the height that she is at and who.

she is. >> do it in this way of like I'm not giving. you guys all of me. I'm going to give. you give you what I want to give you. >> and I'm doing this. It was I don't even. know how to describe it. >> Here's what it felt like to me. Mhm. >> It felt like Rihanna was saying, >> "I'm happy to be here, >> but you are also happy to have me here.". >> Yes. >> So, the halftime show is not me coming. to pedal my wares. >> It's not me coming to, >> it's a showcase and I'm enjoying this. showcase and I'm having fun and I'm like.

hitting my little, you know what I mean? It's like, and she had, you're not. wrong. It wasn't like a please go out. and buy my records and this is why you. should love me as a performer. >> Yeah. This is why you should There was. none of it. Oh, she was like, h. and then she whipped open that Fenty. mirror and I was like, girl, >> it was it was so beautiful. Watching her. is so beautiful in a way that. >> we don't talk about it enough. But I I. really it's it's really beautiful and it. teaches us something when we see it. >> You can even see it in her interviews.

Look at look at her interviews when. before she has Fenty and people are. asking her about when the new music is. coming out. >> Look at how how she responds. interviews when they ask her where's the. new. >> slightly like apologetic like ah yeah. you know I'm working on it and we're. trying to find yeah you know the album. and we're getting you know and then. after Fenty people ask her yo the music. she's like yo bro relax relax with that. question. >> the music will come when it comes she's. just got like a not an [ __ ] but she's.

like no man why you doing this. >> the music will come when it comes the. same way we can't ask shade when's the. music coming. If Shane comes back, she comes back. >> If she doesn't, she doesn't. >> Mhm. >> But it's it's it's something I wish for. everyone in life in any part of your. life. >> I agree. >> It's just the ability. You said you said. it articulately to feel like you belong. in yourself. >> That's it. >> And you see it in her and it's. beautiful. I really love it. >> Yeah. I really It's It's um that that.

Super Bowl moment was something very. special for everybody. >> No, man. Especially from a black woman. >> This is lovely. >> This is you. This is. >> You are lovely. >> A Come on. One more. >> Also, when he does it, he goes, >> "Yeah." Yeah. >> It's really good. >> I'm channeling all the energy. >> Oh, is that what you're doing? >> He like focuses it. >> Um, do you have a do you have a show. tonight? >> I do. Yeah, I have a show tonight. Um, >> I don't want to I want to let you What's. your What's your pre-show routine? I. don't want to like What's your.

>> um I usually I like to be there an hour. and a half before we open the doors cuz. I'm in the audience for the door. opening. Um and I do vocal exercises. >> What do you do? Lip trills. >> I do trills. I do hums. Do. >> you do the the blowing straw? No. Okay. >> I do hahas. Um I had two weeks about 10. days where I was sick as a dog. >> You're lying in the middle of the run. >> and I had to keep going. >> No. >> Let me tell you something. >> No understudy. >> First. No, IT'S JUST ME. >> NO,

>> first of all, >> I could have come on and I could have. done. >> You could have, by the way, would have. come and done. >> No one would have known if I would have. been like, you guys haven't seen me in. person. You don't know. That's what I. look like. I LOOK LIKE TREVOR DOG. I do. Um, but I will tell you, it's. fascinating what your body can do when. it's sick. You can still do it. But what. is crazy is the show I did with a fever. >> I have no It felt like a fever dream. >> Yeah. You have no memory of it. >> I was like, "Wow." But I, you know, my. body knows what it's doing. It's done. the show enough. it does it. And it was. still a great show, but boy did it feel.

[ __ ] wonky. I was like, and then for. a minute there, I couldn't hear out of. my right ear. And thank God I didn't. have anything contagious. I had no um. you know, I'd been I tested for. everything, so I was sure that I wasn't. like spreading it around everybody. Um. and then there was that one show that I. was just like, >> Mhm. >> You just hit like the. >> It was a It was a You know what it was. that made me feel like I was so out of. it that night. I hadn't slept. I. couldn't sleep. And I, you know, I'm a.

sleeper. So, if I get my sleep, then I. can do all these things and I can really. be present. You got to sleep, right? >> Got to sleep. >> Got to sleep. Got to sleep. No sleeper. >> Yeah. And my sleep etiquette is like no. joke. >> I don't [ __ ] around with my sleep. Now, you have good sleep etiquette. I just. focus on my sleep, but your etiquette is. imperative. >> I do. I have very good sleep etiquette. Yeah, she does. >> Yes, I do. I The wind down. >> Yes. Tracy's a GA when it comes to this. >> No. Otherwise, >> there's a wind down. >> There's a wind down. There's a, you. know, no sugar like before bed and stuff.

like that. Like I just And I the screen. goes away. I. >> How long before? >> At least a half an hour if not more. >> cuz the audience is coming in and then. she has to. be queen is. >> the queen. Is it the Shabines time? Yeah, there's a. there's a 12 there's a 12:00 spike. >> Oh my god, I'm dead. >> And then there's a 3 p.m. spike. And. then from 6:00 p.m. I'm always like,

"Guys, you're in God's hands now.". Anything. >> Oh my god, that's so funny. >> So now the time is 2:00. >> 2:00. >> Yeah. So we're in we're in between two. time zones of the show. >> I'm going to I'm going to try and get. myself some lunch and then um this was. this was so beautiful. Thank you. So. nice. >> Let's not Let's not make it two years. Unbelievable. >> That is stupid. >> I will say this though. When you have. that feeling with people, that's when I. feel like you guys like vibe. >> You like them. >> Yeah. >> It's normal wear whenever you.

>> But I but I also think that becomes the. downside is that you genuinely until you. said it. >> I did not like now when you're like. that's what I said. I was like, "No, not. 2 years, but. >> 2 years seems crazy. It is crazy. >> Um I am in the city for the next 2 or 3. weeks, so maybe we'll go to dinner or. something.". >> You let me know. >> Okay, great. >> You let me know. All right. This is. great. Fantastic. Fantastic. >> Thank you so much for watching the. episode. If you enjoyed it, pass it on. to a friend. If you didn't enjoy it,

pass it on to your friend still. >> Let them suffer for a change. And don't. forget to engage with us in the. comments. Uh if you want to suggest a. guest, maybe there's questions you want, maybe there's ideas that you have, you. can chat to us. We will read through the. comments and we'll get into it. Either. way, I appreciate you taking the time. Thank you for hanging out with us on. What Now. And remember, we do this for. you, so we would like to hear from you. Till next time, thank you.