The Second Coming of Halle Berry | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

It's always like what I call the plus one purchase in a in a pharmacy. No one will go in and just buy a loop. No one. People are always like, oh, I get a bunch of shampoo. Orange juice. Yeah. You guys like condoms? I'm gonna go back. No, no, no. You're gonna throw some other stuff. You throw everything else in, and then you just like. I look at it this way, and then, God forbid, the loop doesn't scam. Like, if it doesn't like it, if that code doesn't work. This is what now.

with Trevor Noah. You know, the more kids you have the heart to the pregnant teens become. Because if you got pregnant now and you had to run it off. now that the aid that would be pregnant might be hard for that reason. Is that real? Are you sure that you're 58% know it? I ask you this. I ask you this because, like some people don't know. Like, maybe you don't like. Are you? Sure, sure. He's like your biological sex. August 14th.

I'm 58. He's like your biological age. Just when he's asking. Well, am I, like, in ages 40? I just say, that's it. There you go. That's what I. Yeah, that's my like. And that's what I mean. I don't I don't think so. My age the same way calendars work. Yeah. And I think you're one of those people. Yeah. If we had to repopulate another planet, I would pick Halle Berry. as one of the people, because I'd go, like, Helen of Troy, basically. Yeah, that's what I would. I would do stuff, man. It's so good to have you here, by the way. Thank you so much for joining us. This is can I tell you, I don't think I've had more fun researching.

somebody than researching you before this conversation, because half of the things that I found seem like conspiracy theories. But they're true because you type Halle Berry, and then all of a sudden, like. the first thing that popped up was Haileybury Intimacy Gel, and I was like, oh wait, no, no, this is and I thought it was my search engine. I was like, no, no, no, sorry. Wait, this is known to me. Haileybury as a what is she doing? And then it was like Halley Berry herpes. And I was like, whoa whoa whoa. No no no what?

I was like, what is happening to my algorithm? And then when I read through everything, I was like, oh, wow. Halley Berry is is doing everything right now. Yeah. She I mean, you tell me how like you, it feels like. in the same way that menopause is a moment of transformation for women, it feels like you are in a menopause of life, and you're turning something. that people would commonly think of as the end into a new beginning. Well, yeah, that's how I feel. That's exactly how I feel.

I am approaching my second act and I couldn't be more excited. You know, when you find, you find a there, there and. you connect to what you know is a greater purpose. We always ask ourselves when we're here, but what is my why? Why am I here? What am I meant to do? I figured out what that is, and there's joy. and there's peace and there's comfort and there's confidence in that. Right. And so that's where I'm at. And what is that? If you were to distill the purpose down, what is it for Holly Berry? It is to be a voice for women and midlife, a time of life.

that we have been so forgotten and so, underserved and underappreciated. And I realize that. I have been chosen to be a voice. Not the voice, but a voice, a loud voice in this space to talk about what. it looks like to be in our second act, what it looks like to be in midlife. What is longevity really look like for women? Right. Because we're living longer, but we've been in poor health. And why is that? Yeah, right.

And why can't we redefine ourselves? And we are here for more than baby making. That's a wonderful, glorious thing that we do. But we're here for so much more than that. But the world has told us, after we do that, we're done. I'm here to say, no, that's not true. When that's not true, and how are we going to live. this thing out and invest in our best health? So, Haley, I'm so curious because this is something. me and my friends talk about a lot that we know, like, all of our mothers went through menopause, but they've never discussed it with us. Right. Like we never said anything to. Is this like an African mother thing? No, just all of this.

Oh wow. Oh my gosh. I'm like, why? We're always like, you know, we're like, when don't you know, perimenopause? We have lots of questions because we're like, oh, all of us are going into perimenopause now, right? Yeah. And it's like, wait, wait for those who don't know, what is perimenopause. period before menopause, which is chaotic and very difficult for women. And you have like memory loss and anxiety and you and I think Perry's the worst. once you get in the menopause. Yeah. Like you're kind of on the other side of the scary is where it's the hardest. I'm still in period two and I'm like, man,

I got three more months and then I'm going to be in the menopause. I don't menstruate and a man, I'm going to be so happy to be in that menopause. But like most women don't actually know what perimenopause is, right. So it's and it's debilitating. And me and my friends of all backgrounds, we talk about the fact that. our mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers must have gone through this. Of course, they haven't given us this guidebook. Do they even have the language for what they went through? And I'm curious how you came to it and were like, I'm. going to use this as transformation, because from my perspective.

and from my friends, it's just something that's shrouded in shame, like it's a conversation we still haven't even had with our own mothers. Yeah. And you're like, out here. Yeah. Really publicly claiming it. Well, I like you didn't know what perimenopause was. Nobody talk to me either. And but I did have this feeling that I was going to skip it. I thought I got myself off insulin at an early age. I was diagnosed with type two diabetes and I got off insulin. I got off oral medication, and I found a way with food and using,

you know, food as medicine to get off insulin. And I thought, whatever this perimenopause thing is that happens to women around this time, I'm gonna skip it because like what I did with the diabetes diagnosis. So I'm just going to skip this whole shit. Well, no, I didn't skip that bullshit. I realized that I was in it, and Trevor's heard this. I'm not going to go into the gruesome details because I know you should know. you should eat because I individually have heard it. But, like, I think it's important for everyone to know. Really?

You once heard it, and it's important know it. I really think it's very important to hear it genuinely, because I'm like, okay, I'll tell you, I mean, before you even tell it, I'll tell you why I think it's important. So I think. I love what you said about being chosen. You know, my mother always says. sometimes you're not chosen because somebody chooses you. You're chosen because you are the best person. in the best position to do something about something. And that's sometimes what being chosen means. Yes, you know what I mean. And I think in a weird way, I feel like in this moment in your life,

everything that was put on you, some of some of it good and some of it. even as a burden has almost become. like the chariot that you're going to ride into this thing on. Doesn't that make sense? And so I think I think. the story's very important because nobody is brave enough to tell it. and nobody is not many people are interesting enough. to tell it, to be honest with you and know what I think? I think that's important because I heard this, like with a few guys as well, and it was interesting to see guys just be like, oh wow, we got to get into this because I'm like, I don't know. I don't know how to explain.

I think it was cool to see a story being told in a way that it affects women. Yeah, but men affect women. Live with women, like in our world, in our lives. Okay, well, pretend you didn't hear it. I didn't hear it. I didn't hear anything. And do all the oohs and aahs and gasps, right. Are you okay from me? Okay. So how I found out was, you know, I've been divorced three times, and that's okay. I'm I'm proud of that. Right. Having the courage to leave when something's not right. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's a it's a wonderful thing to be able to do.

So I'm not ashamed of that. But I have been divorced three times. I finally meet what I thought, and I now know to be my person. And we are firing on all cylinders. We're getting along and we're having the most amazing sex. I didn't even think it was possible to have something so great. at this time in life. I really didn't have this many divorces. I kind of thought I was kind of done, and I'm cool with that. But I met this person and we're just having the best time. All of a sudden, a year into our relationship, we had a great night of sex.

I wake up in the morning and I do what we always do. I go to the bathroom. Well, I think I'm going to go to the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet. I cannot go to the bathroom. My body just sort of seizes up and I can't go. And I start to let a little bit out. And it's the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. Besides having a cornea scratched, there's nothing more painful. And you've given birth without drugs. Yeah. My second baby. Yeah. So I think I think it's more you mentioned painful than that. Yeah. Right.

And I'm like, oh my God. And it takes me literally probably ten minutes. to just empty my bladder because I can't let it out. So I get off the toilet and I go to my guy and I say, look, I gotta go to the doctor. like something has happened to me and I don't know what it is. And I couldn't even put my legs together or whatever happened in the night. after that. Sex was bad. So we jump in the car, he drives me to see my doctor. I get in there and my doctors, you know, got me on the table. He's looking up there and he says, wow, you got a new guy in your life.

I said, I do it like it's amazing. And he's like, He said, well, I think I know what this is. I actually I know what this is, I've seen this before and I said what he said, it's. a really bad case of herpes, like a really bad case. And I'm like herpes. I mean I'm not knocking anyone that has herpes. But I was like herpes. I'm like, what? What? How do you know that? He goes, I've seen this before. This is a really bad case of herpes. Now all these things are going through my mind. like the love of my life, this great man, this great sex. Now, he gave me herpes. Like I thought.

Wow, he would have told me he had herpes. Like I thought he should have. He could have, like, why didn't you go through all this stuff? And he goes, I'm going to do the test in three days. We'll get the results back. But I'm sure I'm pretty sure how this, this, this, and this is herpes. So now I go down in the car. He's in the car waiting for me, I see him, I open the door, and I'm angry and I'm sad that he didn't tell me. And I'm also mad. And I'm like, so yo, look, so you got herpes? He's like, what? I'm like, you have herpes?

He's like, I don't have herpes. I said, clearly you have herpes because I have herpes. And I didn't have herpes before I knew you, and now I have herpes. So you clearly gave me herpes. Wow. Oh my God. He's like, no, I swear I didn't. I don't think I have a business. I don't have it. I said, well, let me be the first to tell you you got herpes. because I got I didn't have it before you. So we're driving home in this argument, like who has herpes? And we're arguing about why. Awkward car ride ever awkward. Right. So we get home and I say to him, look, you're going to have to go to the doctors. and you're going to have to get a test to and you're going to find out.

you have herpes, because now we both have herpes and you, you gave it to me. So he's okay. I go to the doctor, I don't feel like I have a herpes. So he goes to the doctor. So we have 72 hours of just blaming each other and not knowing what to do. He gets his test back. First he comes to me, chest poked out. Like I said, I don't drive me upright. You have the herpes. And I thought, oh my God, I said, okay, I guess I have, I have the herpes.

I said, I'm sorry, I've given you herpes. Like I didn't know I wouldn't. I'm sorry. A few hours later, my doctor calls me before he even says anything. I'm ready to say, okay. Yeah, I already know. I got the herpes. He says, Halley, you don't have herpes. I'm like, I don't. Yeah, I'm like, I don't have herpes. Really? He said, no, you don't. I said, well, why would you say that? He said, well that's what it looked like. But I don't know how to explain this, but no, you do not have herpes.

I'm like, well, what is it then? I didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know. He said, I don't know, I don't know. It's just like your primary care doctor had no I no idea. Okay. No. And this was the defining moment that set me on this journey. What I went through with my guy for 72 hours, finding out this news. the way we did. But nobody could tell me, well, why had this happen to me? And what was wrong with me? Yeah. And that sent me on my own journey of investigation and reconnaissance.

and reading and, and I came to after about 2 or 3 weeks. of my own individual investigation, that what was happening to me. was a symptom that many women suffer from in the perimenopause puzzle years. Now I'm 54. Some one of my doctors should have already talked to me about. being in perimenopause, right? I this while nobody and I've got like six doctors. Not one of them had a conversation. I'm 54 years old about perimenopause.

I'm not telling you how to prepare for it. I thought it was even coming. Yeah, like know. I thought I was going to skip it because nobody talked to me about something. It wasn't like it wasn't going to happen to me. Then you hear these stories happening to people, like in all of medicine today. So I think, you know, sometimes I think medicine is hard. Let's acknowledge that there are many things. doctors don't know, a lot of things that doctors can't figure out, and a good doctor will tell you that they're like, hey, we try our best. But this oftentimes we don't know. But it's crazy. how much more they don't know about women's issues. Yes.

Do you know what I mean? We haven't been studied in the same way men have. We only were allowed to be a part of clinical studies in 1993 93, 1993. Oh wow. Was when they started including women? No. Was that but the thing is they they know we are period. See safe point like I would accept that like yeah as a reason. Yeah. There's something you don't know. But this is not unknowable. We know that women at a certain point, if you live long enough, you'll probably stop menstruating. Right. And the period before that can be difficult.

Well, doctors should know that, I guess, but they didn't. So. Didn't tell you at all? Not anyone says, hey, just so you know, you're getting to like, for instance. Okay, so when I turned 40, without fail, my doctor was just like, how old are you? Even when I was like 38, like 38. They're like, soon you're going to need to go and get your prostate checked. Yeah. And I was like, what is that? Something like they're going to go and do the thing to your mom. And I was like, okay. But every stop I would go to, people would like throw it out, like throw a stroller, stroller, even like the dentist was like, oh, happy birthday, prostate time. I'm like, okay. So I just knew genuinely, I just knew at 40,

prostate is now a thing that gets checked. And you're telling me that wouldn't it be great if doctors told us at 40? Okay, perimenopause time, let me tell you what you got to do to get crazy. Wouldn't that be great if if they knew enough? But the truth is, only 13% of doctors in our country understand the menopausal body. And it's one chapter in medical school. That's why doctors don't know. So I don't sit here even blaming my doctor that didn't know what that was. not his fault. Not his fault. On an institutional level, we have not been made important on any level.

So it's not their fault. It's only going to become their fault. as this conversation gets louder and louder. and these doctors don't go back and get retooled, then I will start blaming them. Because when you know better, you do better. Now doctors are really starting to understand what they don't know. And menopause used to not be a thing. Nobody ever thought that it was real. It was like, just deal with it. It's just old age. It's just, oh no, it's not just, oh, it's a real thing. And it affects more than just Our Lady part.

When we lose our estrogen, the thing that makes us us, that makes women, women, it affects our brain. Our heart are liver, our skin, our bones, our hair, our mood. Everything about us becomes compromised. Well, the suicide rate goes up for menopausal women. You know, something I read. and we just get put on antidepressants because we're depressed. No, we're not depressed. We're losing that hormone that makes up who we are on a cellular level. And if we don't replace that in some way, we're just going to die slowly.

And it's a tragic death because we lose our faculties to think. and remember early onset Alzheimer's and dementia. Our bones get so brittle. We fall down, we break them. It's lights out, right. Our heart gets compromised. More women have heart disease and heart attacks. at this time of life than men do, right? So it's not just we get. What I know I had now is vaginal atrophy. It's not just that. Yeah. You know that I've learned how to fix. I'm good now, but how do we fix our heart disease? How do we fix our brain? How do we stay virile and active and be able to walk and take care of ourselves?

How do we do that without this very thing that makes us us? That's what we have to start studying. We're going to continue this conversation. right after this short break. And I'll tell you why I love these conversations. Because like, so like I've told you something like. so I grew up with my mom like a single mom for most of our lives. Right. And for various reasons, apartheid being one.

But like, just just like a single mom. But my mom, like, it's it's I don't realize I. oh, I didn't realize how blessed I was because she shares everything with me. So when she was going through menopause, she was just like, tell me stuff that was happening to her body. And, you know, she'd be like, oh, I'm so hot. Hey, I she said, oh, you must, you must thank God you're not a woman. I yeah, yeah. This thing that's happening to my daughter, she says, I'm hot and I'm cold, I'm angry and I'm tired and I'm sleepy and I'm I. Trevor. No. Yeah, yeah, well, I, I don't want it, I don't want it.

And then like, when she was finished, she said, I feel strong, I feel like a man. Yeah I'm like a man. And I was like this, I don't know what's happening. But she was turned into one. No. So I love I love these conversations and I'm in a strange way used to them, you know, because of just, I guess, how my mom was with me, but but I don't know what some of the terms are, and I don't. So, like, what is vaginal atrophy? But you should say vaginal atrophy is what 50%. of the women who go through perimenopause actually experience 50%, 50%.

So it's a real serious part of I am so not alone in what I've gone through. And it's when the the walls of your vagina start to actually atrophy, which means they start to fall apart and sort of disintegrate. You lose your collagen inside your vagina as we do on our faces, and we start to get wrinkles and your skin gets creepy. That's what's happening inside your vagina. And so the walls get really thin and, you know, creepy. So when you are having sex, those walls are so thin, it cracks. Oh, and that's what the razor blades in the vagina feels like that I experienced.

Right. And sometimes it happens during sex, but then it can happen after you've had sex. If you were like in the moment and you got your groove. and you don't feel that is cracking because, you know, those endorphins are kicking off and pleasure is happening. the next morning when you go to the bathroom and you try to urinate, it's. when the urine touches the walls of those cracks. Yeah, it's that's what makes it so painful. Right. And that's what vaginal atrophy is. I'm so curious because women aren't necessarily.

talking to other women about this and don't have the resources themselves. Now, doctors don't seem to know, where does a woman go. who's like perimenopausal or menopausal and they're just trying to figure out. what is going on and who can help me was funny you should say, we have just launched, respin 2.0 and Respin Health. And the whole idea of this company is about creating community. We learned that when people have other people,

like minded people who are struggling with the same issue, to talk to their strength in that right, their strength. in community, talking to other people, you can hold each other accountable. You can brainstorm, you can share stories. Because I've learned. as I've been talking about it, when I talk to other women, they go, They instantly feel better because they can talk about it. with someone who understands, who's not afraid to talk about it, who can hold. space for their feelings, who know that what they're saying is true and real. They can feel ashamed.

They can feel not alone, less afraid that right there is half the battle. Just getting them to talk about it and feel good talking. Not just talking about it, but feeling empowered by being able to talk about it. So we spin is that place of community. But they can also not just talk and like talk about it in like a wild, wild West kind of way. They can talk about it and b guide it with doctors and professionals. and scientists. It's connected to health care providers as well. Yes. Okay. And people that are on the cutting edge of where we are. in menopause, who are doing the latest researches.

Right, running the most recent clinical trials. and studies, who can tell you why HRT isn't bad for us, like we once thought 20 years ago, why that was a debunked study. That was that hormone replacement therapy. Yes. Okay. Right. Why that that's done. And that's something I actually wanted to ask you about because when I. the older women who do speak about it with me are so terrified of hormone. replacement therapy. Yes. Because of that study. Yeah. And I say, well, the study has been debunked. and you can go on Instagram and see in the comments.

section, is Big Pharma trying to kill us? And wow, I know, but you know, because it's like breast cancer is a thing. that does increase with age and people are terrified to get breast cancer. Yes. So there are women suffering right now who may maybe all good candidates for HRT. Absolutely. And that's why we have to figure out what the truth is about it. And then as women, we have to make those choices for ourselves. now, because what you heard or what somebody else is afraid of, but we have to make these decisions based out of education, based on education.

for ourselves. Because for me, just trust me, we have a greater. chance of having cancer later in life anyway. So if that's the truth, I want to live my second act feeling great, not having brain fog, not flooding my laundry room every other week, not raging, not having headaches, not, you know, not worrying. Shopping at the mercy of your body. It sounds like. Right. I want to live my best life. And so once I did my own education, I too was afraid of HRT.

because I had heard those stories. But once I got into underst standing why it was okay for me. Yeah, I now know I'll be on this till the day I die. Oh, really? Yes, because I'm going to die anyway. And I'm going to die feeling good about you. Don't. I don't know if that's a factor. Yes, I don't know. I'm going to die. We assume you think you'll die, but I might. I mean, you say you're 58. We don't know. We don't. I might be like, there might be like a future generation. having this conversation so healthy as the first thousand year old person. What do you feel about.

Let me let me ask you a few questions. Oh, God. I'm better not be here from an ignorant, from an ignorant perspective. like you know, for people who are either scared or unsuitable. for hormone replacement therapy, are there are the other options or the non. HRT options? Yeah, there are there are other options on the market that women can try that off. raid or you know, legit cannot go on hormone replacement. There are those women out there. But that's why I've been in Washington trying to get this bill. passed, this menopause bill with $265 million bill. Because we need more research, we need more education.

We need more therapies developed so that HRT will not be the best solution. Right now. Arguably, if you can take it, it is the best solution. But we're working with doctors and with the government. to try to come up with other therapies, because not every woman will feel like. that's the right choice for her. I get that, and we should have the right to do hormone. Or do you know a non-hormonal remedy? We should have the right to make that choice. Right? And range? Yes. Curious. Like drinking bone broth collagen supplements.

With that help. Yes, yes. All of that help. I'm on the bone broth. Been on that for, like six years. Bone broth supplements a good a good quality collagen though. all collagen is not created equal but a good collagen. Absolutely. Okay. So from the inside out you can do some. Yeah you can do some of the work. But sometimes I'm finding. you for the more severe vaginal atrophy. That's like the slow boat from China. Like you might be done having sex before it gets fixed. Yeah. So you might have to find another remedy like the V fit or.

HRT, you know, or vaginal inserts. Estradiol vaginal inserts we're now finding are actually very, very helpful to me. So I would underst. And if like this was a conversation that women didn't have with men, I'd love to know like why women don't have it with women, why it isn't like I don't even again, this is very ignorant of me, but I don't understand why there's any shame attached to it. What? What is it about it that is shameful? Well, I can tell you one thing. Because we live in a world where as women.

we have been sold the ideology that we have to stay forever young. We have to stay forever 30. Oh, damn right. And look, look around. Look. You see what's happening to the faces in the people. We have to stay at all costs. We cannot age. We are only valuable when we are young and virile and forever. 3035. And that's why we don't have the conversations. Because we have bought into that. And we don't want to get old either.

So we're not going to talk about that with each other. Women are talking about. how they can stay young, what they can do with the procedures. and procedures they can do, and how can you? That's what we're talking about, where we are also victims. of this way of thinking. The goal should not be to stay forever. 30. The goal should be to age gracefully, have the confidence to be able to do. that, knowing that our real value lies within, not externally, because we're fighting for external youth, because the inside is doing what the inside is doing. Yeah.

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Because when I, when I look at the journey of Haileybury, I've gone back to interviews that you did in like 1992, just like random moments with local newspapers. And it's amazing. No, it's really amazing to see how you were. trying to pitch yourself as a serious actor, somebody in the game, as someone who takes their craft seriously and without fail, your beauty will always be put first before everything. And by the way, I'm not even like judging people because I know I'm part of them.

I don't like to be like I was like, I'm not going to be here. Like, no, I was you say Halle Berry. And then I was like, Hallelujah! I'm saying, but I, but I it's such a strange thing. because someone would go like, oh, but it's like a good problem. But I feel like you are the embodiment of that in a very specific way. And now you're. using some of that experience to try and rally against the idea, because you are the epitome of that and you work in an industry. where many actresses have said across the board, God forbid,

a wrinkle starts popping out the corner of your eye at the corner of your mouth, and all of a sudden they're like, do you want to play someone's mom? And the roles are dry up and, you know, everything disappears. Whereas like George Clooney, he's still the heartthrob. Him and Brad Pitt. Yeah, let's do it, baby. No one's like, wait, the. how old know everyone's just like George Clooney, Brad Pitt. Oh, yeah. But if, like, two women of the same age in. Hollywood were trying to do that, someone would go, That's an interesting. Yeah. What, like a, like a moms weekend movie? What is a Nelson movie? Yes, it's a nice movie. Yeah.

Then we're mILF. So sugar soldiers, I'd love to know, like how you how you dealt with that? Because. it can be hard. I can only assume. to, on the one hand, have something that people see as an asset. and it is in some ways, but then also deal with the limitations that it comes. with in allowing you to be your full of self as a person. Yeah, yeah. And it has been, you know, I feel like this is a very hard thing to say because, you know, people often are, you know, oh poor you.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You told your pretty. Oh yeah. Hong Kong do. you know and I know that. So it's this is a hard thing to say but it's something that. and I think I've said this recently, I have longed to hear. somebody say anything else other than that. Anything else you could call me? You know, she's a curse. You can say anything. It's say she's a motherfucking bitch. I'd almost rather than say that at this point. than just the same thing I've heard for for decades.

Yeah. You know, because I know that I'm more than this, and I feel like that's always so reductive, you know? It's just reductive. I've worked hard to be a good actor. I work hard to be a good mother. I've worked hard at trying to be me and to just be reduced to, oh, she's pretty. It is at 58. It's a hard pill to swallow these days. And so you're right. I think this cause has given me a platform to talk about something other than that.

And if I have been known as that my whole life and the perfect person. to talk about exactly what I mean, that, you know, I was going to say perfect person to talk about this. Now that why you're claiming, like, probably the most unsexy, yes. Gruesome yes. Experience. Yes. Like yes. Beyond the actual act of giving birth, which is very ugly, is beautiful, but it's ugly if you see half front menopause. And this is just like it's not something that. most women would have the courage to claim publicly.

And do you think you're trying to claim it for yourself, in part. because you want to get away from that perception of perfection and beauty? And and maybe I didn't choose it consciously, but like you said, Trevor, it's chosen me because I am the right person to talk about it. Right. Because you would think someone like me would. I'd be the last one talking about it. But see, I've never, you know, I don't ride on that beauty horse. Yeah. That people always want to put me on. Yeah. So, yeah, I woke up one morning with this idea. Oh, I'm going to tell this story.

When this happened to me, I had no trepidation about telling it like none. Was there anyone in your circle who was like, hey, what are you doing? Like, surely there was someone I like. I can only imagine, like the world of agents, managers, you know everything because there is the idea of Hallie Berry. I wonder if there was just anyone who was like Halley. You can't. You can't like, what are you doing? Surely there was a little doubt. Maybe. But I always had the right answer. I would say to people that said, this is going to roofies. You this might level your career. And I said, I have been.

black in this body and a woman my whole career. What's harder than that? Damn. So this doesn't scare me. I've always been behind the eight ball, and I made it. And I'm still here doing things on my own terms. So what's harder than that? Nothing. Damn. So no fear. Yeah. I'm not used to it. I was going to ask about the Black womanhood piece, because I think that, like. when you trail down black women and menopause and just like. reproductive health in general is just a maze.

Yeah. So I misdiagnose and underdiagnosed. So what would you say? We're at greater risk. We suffer disproportionately. Disproportionately. So what would you say to black women specifically, especially those that maybe don't even have the tools. and the vocabulary to understand what's happening with their body? We have to start taking this into our own hands. Even these women, these rule states that don't have access to care. We have to lean in. We have to do our own education because we've gone a while before the. medical world catches up to where we are and can offer us really what we deserve.

We're on the precipice of that right now, so we as women have to one realize it's happening. We have to start talking about it. That thing that nobody did, and we have to lean in and we have to do our own research. We have to question our doctors. If our doctors don't know about our bodies, guess what, ladies? Get a new doctor. Yeah. And you know, as women, we have a hard time doing that. We have a hard time standing up for ourselves, going to our male doctors that we've had for maybe. 15, 20 years and saying, hey, but you don't know about my body.

I'm out of here. These are the kinds of decisions we have to start making for ourself. because we deserve health care and we deserve doctors that understand. what's happening and not many do. So we have to search them out. And maybe sometimes you have to have a doctor. that's in another state that you can connect with, that can guide you. You might not be able just to go see your doctor that you always want to go. see. You might have to look outside those boundaries and find a place. where you can really get the information you need and be cared for, and we have to do it ourselves, and we can't keep our heads in the mud.

and think that it's going to skip me, because that's what I thought. Now ignorant. We cannot come from that place. We have to go. do the work and start educating ourselves and make some tough choices. I only realized how opaque this world was when. So, I saw you in Sweden. We were in Stockholm, right? And you were speaking and you were sharing, like some of your experience. And I'll never forget how, like. Like if you've never been to Sweden,

like if you've never been to Scandinavia, understand something. The Scandinavians are the most put together. Non-disruptive polite people you will ever come across. So polite. Yeah. They're like, hey, you keep to yourself. Everyone does their own thing. You've all got your own house and let's keep it moving. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's very, very, very polite society. And when Hayley was speaking on stage, people like it was it was amazing because it was like watching. the human body go through two conflicting emotions at the same time.

On the one hand, you would see these like these, these Scandinavian women, like, stiffen up. Like, you shouldn't be saying this, but then their heads would turn like, tell me more. and then afterwards we're having some conversations. And one elderly woman came up to me and she says, yeah, that held the barrier. quite to, oh, a story to tell. I don't know if I would have told you the same way, but yeah, I'm glad she spoke, but, yeah, that was quite intimate.

Yeah, because now we know she has a vagina and it's like. But we all we should or should we? But it was really amazing to see this because, you know, you would think, you know, you say rural, you think. But it is amazing to see how pervasive a shame. Yeah. Or like or like an. idea can be an it like I'm like, did you not think I had a vagina? But this is what this is what it made me wonder, like. So when I think of what what the journey that you're on now, you know, when I like intimacy gel, for instance, I, I, I love that it seems like you've taken something that was a kernel of an idea,

and you're growing it into like a forest of, of, you know, of acknowledgment in a way, because like intimacy gel already. people are just like, whoa, whoa whoa whoa, wait, wait. Lubricant. Wait, wait, what what's happening here? And she's getting great reviews by Tabitha Brown. Soprano tablet. So that's what I mean. It's you just get from people. But this is something that was again, it has a different type of taboo. Right. So yeah, if menopause is the taboo of oh,

my body's not working the way it's quote unquote supposed to work, and if I'm now aging and I'm quote unquote, you know, my. I'm fading out or I'm aging out, this is another taboo. It's like, oh, oh, sex, just like lubricant or like any of these things. You know what I mean? Yeah. This is such a like another taboo. So and it's my goal to change that. Yes. I was willing to go in there and say, do you have let's spin. and I need some let's spin. Do you have it and feel no shame because sex does get better on the other side.

This is this is what I want to get into is. the like. if something is not improved then it will always remain bad. It might. It might even get worse. Right? And I couldn't help wonder. reading everything about the intimacy gel, I was like, how many people are not having sex anymore? Not because they can't, but because they don't know how to choose. Yes. And then you're speaking about this like, yes.

Why was sex as important in a way as like just the treating. of the menopause itself? Because it seems like one is like a pleasure thing. and the other one is like your body. So why sex? Well, it's both and I first of all, I created a product that I most needed. Right. And I think whenever somebody introduces a product into the market. or they're an entrepreneur and they have an idea for something, I find the most interesting companies to me are when they have founders. that created something to fill a need that they have. Right. And that's how, you know, you put your heart and your soul into it.

It's probably going to be a good product. because they were trying to help themselves. Yeah. But by doing so, they helped millions of other people. Right. So I was just trying to help myself get through this time thinking, what can I do? Yeah. So that I can continue doing that thing that makes me, me. Right. Because I just told you I found my guy. I know you're having great sex. Yeah, it's. not. This is a joke. I finally found him. So it really came out of a need to help myself, right. And. But in doing so, I started to realize,

oh, I'm not the only woman suffering from this. This is a conversation that we all need to start having because. And it's not just pleasure, you know, for men to stay. connected to their optimal good health, they have to keep having sex. You guys have to keep having that thing, which is why you got the blue pill. right away when it was a problem. Boom. Yeah, right. Well, women are the same way. We have to keep having sex, too. It's a part of staying healthy. It's a part of our of our systems. that must operate like your systems operate.

Right? It's just we don't get thought of that way. because, you know what happens when men need to continue having sex? If their partner, who is about their same age, can't keep having sex. Traditionally, nothing against my men because I love you guys. Oh no, that's fine, because what you guys do is you know, will you just go get another younger woman and keep doing the thing you need to do? We cannot. Right? If our system shuts down, we can't go get another man because we can't. I mean, you could get someone younger.

and not have. Just say, why. I know this is what you know, so. No, I have to keep this working. Right? Because as women, we've failed to keep it working. There have been so many divorces just for that reason. So many. I tell you story. I have a friend who will remain nameless. But he came to me and he said, Haley, I'm going to get a divorce. And I've known him a long time and I was like, what? You love your wife? Like, what is happening? This was like two years ago. And he said, she just doesn't want me anymore.

Like, I don't know what has happened. We were doing so good. I thought we were going to ride this thing out. I would go to her, I would try to touch her and she would pull away. And she's got someone else or something. She's just. She doesn't feel it for me anymore. Damn. And I just said, wow. And I couldn't believe it. And I was just formulating all of my ideas about what. I'm doing now about menopause and how she might be feeling. And I said to him, I said, this is going to sound crazy to you, but go home and start a conversation with her about perimenopause.

and just start asking her how she's feeling down there. Does she feeling dry? Is she feeling headache? Like, just go have a conversation? I told him all the things to say. Two weeks later I see him again. He's like, oh my God, Halley, you were right. She did not. It's not that she didn't want me. She thought that every time I touched her, I was going to want sex. And she knew that that was so painful for her and she didn't want to feel that. And she was tired of faking it.

She was tired of having it be so excruciating, painful, but had to act like it wasn't hurting at all. And he was like, that's what it was all about. Because she couldn't even talk to him to tell him that. Right. And so that's when I knew that, oh my God, this is an issue that we have to talk about and how intimately men are, a part of this conversation and how many marriages have broken up. because they were on the verge of a divorce. And once they could talk about this, now they're thriving again.

She's been a part of respect. She's got her leg spin. She did her v fit, you know, vaginal device. Oh, tell me about the V for what's another thing? It's like a red light therapy device, you know, just like we do on our faces. Now for anti-aging and collagen building that goes into the vagina, and it rebuilds the vaginal walls. And it's like you can actually help thicken your walls again so that you. don't. So you have more elasticity in your vaginal walls when you're having, intercourse.

This is so this is yeah. This is a rock n roll world. Oh, my gosh. I'm I'm just a tech fan. So I mean, you're like, what? Like you're just like, I just I can't tell me tell me more about how all of this works. So. And how long? It's amazing. How long do you put it up? Use it daily. Like what's the regimen? You do it daily. Well, this is how I worked for me. I did it daily for about three weeks and then after that it's just maintenance. It's once a week or once every two weeks. You got that in your spin and you know, you get some hormone replacement therapy. or you do some supplements that you like, and then you find out.

you can be back off to the races, you know, juicy speech all again. But you just have to know the things to do, right? So that you don't like become a desert. You have to just know. And when we know, we will do right. So I do you know, don't go anywhere because we got more. What now? After this. I feel like a woman at home who's maybe, like, in her early 70s.

Is it too late for her? Can she jump on this train and try the V fit and the gel. and the hormone replacement therapy? Because sometimes it feels like the conversation is. Yeah, get to 40s to like late 50s. She can certainly jump into the V fit. She can do that. Let's spend hormones. That's something she'd have to talk to a menopause doctor about to be sure. Because I have heard that if if you don't start the therapy early enough, it can. That's when it can be an issue with you. Too late in life, 70, maybe too late.

That's not what I should be answering today. I think that's what you need to go. So the message is actually about to women as early as possible. to be on this journey and start thinking about it at 35, at 35, because, you know, our childbearing years. are 25 to 35, and at 35, that's when the estrogen starts to leave. And we have to start realizing, okay, this is coming upon us. So at 35, I think we have to start talking to our doctors. If they're not talking to you, talk to them, get the right doctor and start talking about it.

What can I do so that I sail through to this moment, right. And that I don't suffer the way the women before me have suffered? Before we lose you, I'd love to know. how this journey. has been informed by or. has affected. your professional sort of life journey. And I know the two are connected, but I can't help but see all the links between them. You know, like Christiana.

and I will talk about all the time with, let's say, pregnancy or motherhood. and how it clashes with the way we've built corporate life and companies. And you're in an industry that's unique, but at the same time. isn't really in some ways in that, like, you know, if you're a woman in Hollywood, if you're a woman in certain jobs, you know how you look, how you're perceived, how your scene affects your ability to work or not work. And I I'd love to know, how have you navigated a world.

that has told you you don't hold as much value. when you're building up all these other different facets of yourself. that do hold value, like because there's a moment before respin. where Haileybury. is, as you said, you found another thing and this is your second act, but I'd love to know how you were navigating that experience, because it can be a scary one for people in all walks of life. I just think Hollywood gets all the shine, but I think many people will experience that where they go, oh, I didn't know what to do. Once my kids left for college, I'd always identified as a mom. and I was raising these kids, and now they're gone.

And and I just realized now my career as a mom is sort of over in that way. When someone goes, oh, I've now gone back to the office and, you know, my career is. or I've left the office and I'm struggling with the way the world has now changed. its perception of me. I'd love to know how you. how you navigated what you experienced and what you learned. And if you learned something. from this part of it, that's that's sort of helped you. Or if it was part of the reason that respin started. It's certainly part of the reason that respin started.

I struggled to understand what this company was. I knew it was always re spinning everything. we thought we knew, but I didn't have a there there. I didn't have the real purpose of what the there there was. And when I realized that menopause needs the biggest respin of all, then I realized, oh, that's what that's why I've been building this company. Even if I didn't even when I didn't know why. Really? I figured out why, which lets me know that it was happening, you know, to me and for me, because I didn't really have it. thought out, but yet I was building something.

Which is why I know it's chosen me. I just had to get caught up to it. Right? But it chose me clearly. Was there a part of me that was afraid, though, that you were, you know, because you're building this thing, but there's also. this other world that you've I mean, you're an Oscar winning actress. Like, let's never forget that. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's you're an Oscar winning actress. History making, history making an Oscar winning actress. So it's not even, you know, it's not like, oh, yeah, you act. and it's not like you're a good actually. No, no, no, you can't get high. It's a gold medal at the Olympics.

Do you get. I'm saying so I, I wonder like how much fear was attached to that. And how are you dealing with that. Yes, you're making respect. But before that you're letting go in some ways of something. And you know, you don't know what that journey will or won't be. And so I think a lot of people would be, would be served by knowing like, you know, just how did Haileybury figure out what for many people. is a really tough time in their lives before you find the next thing. But I think this goes back to the thing I said earlier, and that is being born a black woman.

I feel like I have always felt like I sat at the bottom of society. Damn right. White man, black man, white woman, black woman. So I've always felt at the bottom, never feeling like I was defeated because I was at the bottom, never. feeling like I couldn't dream big because I was at the bottom, never. feeling like I wasn't worthy or capable because I was at the bottom. But I always have known. But I'm going to have to work ten times harder than everybody else.

to get anywhere, just to get a step up from the bottom. I'm going to have to work harder than a white man or white woman or a black man. I'm going to have to work that much harder because we sit at the bottom. And so that feeling, I think, has been what has propelled me my whole life. I've never been afraid of hard work. I've always known that anything was possible. If I decide that it's so. I've always known my worth and my value, even when I've been struggling.

And I've been afraid because I knew what my core values were all about. I had a fifth grade teacher. Her name is Yvonne Slim. She's a beautiful black woman that took me under her wing when I was. ten years old, and everything that makes me me is her. That she took the time to pour into me. You know how I knew I was valuable? Because this teacher who didn't have to take time. She wasn't my mother. She didn't bring me into the world. She didn't owe me. But because this beautiful, smart, wise woman took me under her. wing and invested in me, she poured that into me and that gave me value.

I knew I must be special. I must be a value. If this woman would take her time every day. after school to pour into me, pour into me, pour into me, pour into me. And that's what I've carried. I've known that worth and that value from a very young age. That's beautiful. And I haven't allowed people to dim my light even when I've gone through shit. We know the things I've gone through. Many of them have been public. I'm going through shit right now. I don't care. It's just things that you go through. You grow through.

You learn. That's why we're here, right? What I've always just known. I have value here, and I have a purpose. So finding respect and finding this cause of menopause, it's like, oh, another one of my purposes. Like winning that Oscar. That time I was chosen to do that, to open that door. I knew it was bigger than me. Right. I hope this year someone stands next to me. This year. I hope it happens because I'm tired of occupying that space alone. Right? I hope some hope. I hope this is the year right?

But even if it's not, I was chosen in that moment to be a beacon of possibility. Right? And I do think it served that purpose. And I think I'm sitting in this moment also talking about menopause. and telling my own story and being bold and bold. It's also to be a beacon of possibility. as where we can go as women and what we deserve, and knowing that we're more than this shell right, that we are complicated. We are beautiful. We are strong. We deserve a second act.

We deserve all things good. We've raised our children. We sacrificed our bodies. Right. We've given what we have to give. I can't believe we live in a world that now says we got nothing for you. I'm sorry. I don't believe that. Right. But I know we have to change that for ourselves. And I and I realize this is my second act purpose to help change that narrative. That's my purpose. That's amazing. And teacher poured into you, and I feel like you're. now pouring into everybody else and you poured into us. This was more fun than I could have expected. I'm so happy to be here this is to wish you could stay longer.

I know you'll come back. You're welcome. You will come back. I will be more respond the I can see it. It's gonna like I want infinite. That's what I'm right. It's infinite. I can see we're doing. See you working on something. I knew it, it's infinite. We're working on. Okay, great. Yeah, it's going to be on. Thank you so much for joining us. And thank you for sharing. Thank you for pouring your hearts out. Thank you. You know, thank you for being you. Thank you. Appreciate it. What now with Trevor Noah.

is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jody Avigan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackel. Clare Slaughter is our producer. Music mixing and mastering by Hannah Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?