“The S#*t Donald Trump Says!” - Trevor Noah - (from "Son Of Patricia" Watch on Netflix!)

I love Mexican food, I love Mexican people. I, uh. I don’t know what it is, I think we have a connection. I don’t know, South Africans and Mexicans. people from s#*t-hole countries, we have this thing. I still cant believe the things Donald Trump says. He's such a. for me Donald Trump is an emotional paradox, I'm not gonna lie. you know logically I can proses him, emotionally I struggle.

on the one hand I will admit, I wake up many days. terrified at the notion that he's President. of the most powerful nation in the world. but I also must admit I wake up many days. knowing he's going to make me laugh. yeah there's terror and there's joy, and I don’t know how to feel. and you know what it feels like sometimes, it feels like. there's a giant asteroid headed towards the earth. but it's shaped like a penis. like, I think I'm gonna die.

but I know I'm gonna laugh. cause you just look at everything that he does. the world we now live in because of him. like you realize, we're living through history. you know, this will never happen in our lifetime again. we're living through a time. when we are all learning about the Presidency. at the same time as the President, that's never happened. how wild is that concept?

you wake up everyday reading the news. and you are like wow, I didn't know that. and somewhere at that exact same moment. he's reading the same news going wow, me too. and nobody knows where it's going to lead. nobody knows what he's going to do. all we know is that he wants his wall. he wants his wall. Donald Trump wants his wall. he needs 25 billion dollars, the last time he asked. he needs it from American taxpayers.

because Mexico is smart. that fell apart real quick. I remember how confident he was at the rally's. people cheering for him, he was like. "Folks. we are gonna build. a wall. we're gonna build a wall folks. who's gonna pay? Mexico!". and Mexico was like, "We ain’t paying for shit man.

We might build it but we ain’t paying for it man. and I don’t know if you have been following the journey of the wall. but it's probably the best comedy on TV, right. because now they've started building prototypes of the wall at the border. because Donald Trump said he wants them to test the wall first. I don’t know how you do that. you know just like, try again. and because this is the prototypes. Donald Trump now has specifications for the wall.

he now says he wants the wall to be made out of concrete. but he also needs the wall to be see-through. alright? and the reason the President wants the wall to be see-through. is because he says he's afraid. that drug dealers from Mexico are gonna shoot bags of drugs over the wall. and it's gonna hit Americans on the head as they walk by. so he needs the wall to be see-through. so that Americans can see the drugs coming. and catch it.

now I'm not gonna lie, I don’t know what a see-through wall is. but at this point I'm just worried. that a contractor is going to come along and trick the President. he's gonna take him to the border and be like. "there it is Mr. Trump. your invisible wall". and just to make sure he buy's it. he's going to hire a troop of Mexican mimes that will be like. "Oh my God, you cant get through it".

it works! work the mind of Donald Trump. oh, the other idea he had for the wall. was he said America should build the wall out of solar panels. that's what he said. he said America should build the wall out of solar panels. because that way the wall would generate electricity. and pay for it self. Now I'm not gonna lie, that's a good idea. it's a good idea. unless you know anything about solar panels or the sun or walls.

because the problem with that idea is that the sun is up. yeah, we all agree on that. We still on the same page there? yeah the sun is up, right? a solar panel wall is not going to work. because a wall is like this. so technically it's facing down. so unless you have like a really swaggy sun. that's like, "Yeah, I shine real low B". it's not gonna work for you. the only way it works is if your border solar panel. and lean it at an angle to get the sun's rays.

but if you do that, you've just created a giant ramp. for Mexicans to shoot into America. just like, "Oh rale!". the mind of Donald J Trump. the J stands for Jasoes, a lot of people don’t know that. a lot of self loathing going on there. and he's always going after someone, right. he's always going after someone. if it's not Mexicans it's Muslims.

if it's not Muslims it's Africans from shit-hole countries. that one was my favourite personally. because I'm an African and I've shat in a hole. I also liked it because people came up to me and asked me questions. there was one man that came up to me after a show. really concerned, he was like. "Trevor, hey can I ask you a question?". I said yeah, go ahead my friend. he said, "Trevor I just wanted to know. when Donald Trump says all these. these horrible racist things, do you sometimes just wanna.

you know, pack it up and leave America. go back to South Africa and escape all this racism?". I said, my friend. you don’t go to South Africa to escape racism. that's where you go to stock up. you kidding me, that's the one thing that reminds me of home. racism out here. because we've got tons of racism in South Africa.

and don’t get me wrong, it's gotten a lot better. when I was growing up, we had apartheid. and you know apartheid was basically the best racism in the world. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. now you going to feel bad and be like "our racism was the best". no it wasn’t, it was good but not the best. and I experienced a bunch of racism. and everyone did, I didn’t feel like it was a bad thing. mostly because of my family. you know my mother is a black woman, Xhosa woman. my father a Swiss from Switzerland.

and them being a couple was against the law. and that was a problem for us, living together. and so we experienced a ton of racism. and in case you're wondering, yes. Xhosa is one of the languages with the clicks in it. (speaking Xhosa). but not like in American movies, just so you know. Yeah, I’ve seen those movies where they have Africans and they're like. (clicking). (clicking). that's not a language. Yeah even we watch those movies and we're like.

"I wonder what they are saying. where are they from?". "I think they're from Cleveland.".