"Starving Africans & Oprah's School" - Trevor Noah - (African American)

Everyone has these images of Africa. and its not, its not your fault as Americans you know I understand. As Americans, Americans don’t know much about South Africa. I have realized in my time here. you don’t know much about Africa as a whole, which is... well you guys don’t know much about anything, but that’s not... that’s not your fault, you guys are so big and "Americasentric" you know? and you don’t get outside images, you don’t see anything. In fact in my time in America the only thing I have seen of Africa. is always those ads, have you seen those commercials?

those UNICEF ads and those, have you seen those? they are asking you for the money. I hate those ads, they don’t even warn you that those things are coming on T.v. I am just sitting there enjoying comedy shows. and the next thing you know, you just see this horrible village. its just dirty and this old rusting buildings. and these sad black people. and I am looking and I am like. oh, where is that? Cleveland?

and then this thing comes up, like Africa. Really? Where? and then they show you thew starving people, its always the same. they always have the starving look, they always do the pose. they always have that "why haven’t you called" look. one by one. and they show you these people. its a starving mother and a starving child and it's horrible.

and then there's a celebrity, there’s always, the most important thing is a celebrity. who comes out and they speak for them. what way we will understand. and the one that I saw was Penelope Cruz. she was the celebrity, she was beautiful. she came out and the starving mother and child where there. and she where just next. well she wasn’t next to them, it was a blue screen, but she was... she wanted to be there.

She walked out, she pointed and she was like. "This is Africa. did you know that every year more than 5 million children in Africa. die of water borne illnesses and diseases that could have been prevented. you can make a difference in this child's life. I know you are sitting at home. like me you are saying, but Penelope. I am so far, what can I do to help?

Well I am here to tell you it is easier than you think. and it's a wonderful message and she is beautiful. and I am really,I am trying to pay attention to this. but for the life of me I can not concentrate. because I am watching and out of the corner of my eye. there's this fly that's just buzzing around. its buzzing and she's just ignoring it. (buzzing). and the fly is there on the eye. how does a fly sit on your eye? You see with the thing. (buzzing). in the mouth! I cant concentrate while.

how do they get the fly there every single time? can someone tell me this? In every ad. in every single ad. the fly is there, and it's always in exactly the same place. for the entire ad, for the entire ad. I cant get a fly to sit still in my kitchen for 4 seconds. and I sneak up really slowly. but they can get the fly to sit there every time they film? I was starting to think it's like a trick fly, its a Hollywood fly isn’t it? one of those trained creatures from Disney. I know what those people are capable of, I’ve seen Lassy.

it's a trained fly, they probably got the fly on lock-down. they're ready, they get everybody together. they got the starving people and they are like. "Okay we're ready to shoot, where's the fly? Here Sir! Here Sir! Come on boy, come on boy! Get it! (Fly buzzing). Stay. Action!". "Did you know every year more than 5 million children are starving. (Fly buzzing). It's horrible. I hate those ads.

I hate the people who makes those ads. I mean there's people starving everywhere in the world. but you know, you can give them a bit of dignity. and I hate the people in those ads as well because they make Africans look bad. and I can say that, you go but don’t hate them they are starving. No, you know what, I don’t care. I don’t care, I really don’t care because there are people starving everywhere. and I grew up in a black family in Africa. and no matter how poor or hungry we where. we could still do this. (swatting a fly).

they just make us look bad, flies. the gangster flies looks like they are doing a shout-out, have you seen them? just having a good time in front of the camera. (Fly buzzing and posing).

that's the worst thing in the world. that's all you see out here, that's all you see. those images of Africa, where as the world. we see America you know. we watch your T.v we see your sitcoms. and your news alike. We get everything from Idols all the way to Oprah. we love Oprah you know. Yeah of course, I mean. especially in South Africa we love Oprah, we love Oprah. No because she gives us a lot of money, so I mean. We just love Oprah, she came out to South Africa. and she built a school there.

she built a school in South Africa. called the Opera Winfrey Leadership Academy. Spent 50 million dollars building the school, yeah. the most expensive school ever built. the most expensive anything ever, you know. and those children love her like, when Oprah comes there they run out screaming. Yeah, Oprah, Oprah, Oprah, Oprah, yeah! just love it you know, this is a big place for her. you know it's a wonderful school, state of the art technology. brand new computer labs. state of the art facilities.

and then she made the mistake of hiring African teachers. Um, which is. which is not the worst thing it's just she's had. a few issues with discipline at the school. the way the teachers choose to. administer the discipline, it's very different. to what Oprah and America believes in, you know. and I blame Oprah, she interviewed them and she said. "You guys arn't gonna spank them are you?". and they where like, "NO, no Oprah never. no, we wont spank them. she left and they where like, yes. yes, we don’t spank. Here we beat!

we beat! we don’t spank a child, you spank a monkey. Here we beat! and that's what they did, they beat the children. they just beat them. which is horrible, I know I smile, which is horrible. its just I think in Oprah’s school. because Oprah’s world is so different. getting a beating in her school must be something different, you know. you see the teacher walking into the classroom with a cane. angry, just walking around. "Cynthia, where you talking at the back?". "No Miss". "You where talking, that means you are going to get a beating!

but because it's Oprah’s school. everybody’s getting one!". You’re getting a beating! You’re getting a beating! You’re getting a beating! everyone's getting a beating! look under your seat, it's a beating!". "Agh! Oprah, Oprah!".