"New York Traffic Lights" - TREVOR NOAH (from Afraid of the Dark on Netflix)

- Can I tell you for a second, this has been my dream. since I started standup comedy doing a special. in New York City. (audience cheering). This is it. (cheering continues). This is it, New York, New York! Yeah! New York! I'm walking over here. (audience laughing). That was all I thought New York was before I came here. I just thought it was a city of people. almost getting run over. (audience laughing). Just everyone walking into the street, a taxi rolling up, slamming the hood, I'm walking over here!

What's wrong with you? You want some coffee? (audience laughing). I didn't even know what that meant. All I knew was one day, I was going to go to the New York City. and I too, was going to almost get run over by a car. (audience laughing). I had a dream and I set up and you know what? It's a lot harder than it seems. You know, in the movies, they make it look simple. They make it look like you run out, the car almost hits you. You do that thing. Hey, you slam the hood and then move on. (audience laughing). But it's not that easy. It's all about timing. (audience laughing).

It's all about timing. It's all about being precise, you have to get up there. at the exact same time that the taxi is there, so that it stops so that you can hit the hood, right? If you don't have the guts and you come out too late, the car's gone, it's a waste of everyone's time. You just look like a mad person now. it's just like, (speaking gibberish). "I'm walking over here.". If you come out at the exact time as the car. then you just get run over. That's just pointless. (laughing continues). It was like (mimicking a man ran over by a car).

"Hey, he was walking over here. What's wrong with you?". The worst though is when you come out too early. Cause that's just awkward for everyone involved. Because you come out and then the car stops. but you can't reach the hood. It's just like, hey (mimicking stopped car). (audience laughing). "come here, (laughing continues). No, come closer, please. I want to tell you a secret, come here.

No I'm from Africa. I have a dream. Please come closer. I just, I just want you... I'm walking over here.". (audience clapping). I love the city. Are you kidding me? New York! My dream was to come out here. As soon as I got here, I was like, this is it. (audience cheering). There was an energy in the city that exists. nowhere in the world, New York, New York. I love it. Everything about it. You know what fascinates me about New York,

is how much people trust the traffic lights. (audience laughing). I have never seen anything like it. You must remember I, I come from an African country and all over Africa. we have traffic lights, but we don't use them. (audience laughing). All right. It's less of a command and more of a suggestion. (laughing continues). It's not stop. It's stop? It's almost like, you know, it's like. it's almost like an African travel the world,

saw that other people have traffic lights. and then just brought them back. But didn't know what they were for. Like the guy was just like guys, guys, guys. we need to get traffic lights up. And people were like, what for? It's for the intersection. It adds atmosphere. (audience laughing). But no one actually knew what it was about. We don't care about the lights, how we don't trust the lights. But in New York, I've never seen a people trust that lights. with their lives. I was walking through the streets one day.

I was walking next to this man. I'll never forget this, right. You're standing there on the sidewalk. And the light changes in our favor. And I looked to the side and there's this truck. that is barreling down the road, and I'm looking at the truck. And as soon as the light changes, the guy next to me he just steps out into the road. and so instinctively, I stuck my hand out to protect him. I was like, "yo dude, there's a truck.". And he was like, "it's okay, We've got the light.". (audience laughing).

I said, "yeah, and he has a truck. (laughing continues). In a game of rock, paper scissors, you lose.". But he was so confident, he was like, "it's okay, we've got the light. Come on. Let's go.". And he walked out there. He didn't just walk out. He stared that truck driver down as he was crossing, just looking at him like, "I got the light. I've got the light, you know I've got the light. You know I've got that light.". (audience cheering). I was running behind him all apologetic.

I'm sorry, (speaking gibberish). (audience laughing). I walked with that man for 12 blocks. (laughing continues). And let me tell you, I have never been imbued. with the confidence of another human being. the way I was with him. I started that day, thinking and pondering before stepping out.

and after a few blocks with him, I started believing. and after eight blocks, it was the only way I knew how to live. I had my phone out. I was tweeting and texting. I didn't play games. I'd be looking down, look up, the light would change, and I was out. I didn't care if a truck or a train was coming towards me. I was out! 'Cause I've come to realize, in America. if you've got the white man on your side. you can do whatever you like. (audience cheering).

Make sure to subscribe to my channel. so you can win cool prizes and by prizes, I mean surprise! There's no prizes. It's a free YouTube video. You greedy... Just click the video, man. Why do you want free things on free things?