"My First Time Trying Tacos!" - TREVOR NOAH (watch Son Of Patricia on Netflix)

- So we rolled together, jumped into the car. And so we drove for about 20 minutes, alright? to what I thought was going to be a restaurant. (audience laughing). Instead, Dave pulls over into an abandoned parking lot... (audience laughing) (audience cheering). kills the engine, looks over at me and goes... "Alright, dude, we're here.".

(audience laughing). I was like, "Where? At my murder scene?". (audience laughing). He's like, "No, dude, we're getting tacos, over there!". And he points and in the corner of the parking lot... was a truck, alright, a food truck, yeah, which I've now learned is quite common in America. In fact, some of the best food you'll find at a food truck. But at that moment in time, you have to forgive me... I was a little bit apprehensive. okay? (audience laughing). Yeah, I just wasn't quite comfortable... with the idea of getting my food from an establishment... that would not be there the next day. (audience laughing). I feel like there's a certain level of accountability... that comes with permanence.

(audience laughing). Dave was adamant though. He's like, "Dude, you gotta get it from a truck, dude.". "That's how you know it's real.". I was like, "Alright, well, let's just get this over with.". "Let's do it.". So I hop out of the car, walk up to the truck... And it was definitely a taco truck... 'cause there's a sign above it flashing... that read, "Tacos" (humming). "Tacos" (humming). "Tacos" (humming). And by the way, weird piece of trivia about me as a person. I hate signs that flash, but don't change. (audience laughing).

Yeah, I always feel like a sign... shouldn't be allowed to flash... unless it intermittently changes to some of the information. Otherwise, I think that's wasted suspense. It should be illegal. (audience laughing). 'Cause it always catches my eye... and then I wait for something else. Like, "Tacos" and "Tacos". And what else? "Tacos". Anything else? "Tacos". Just stay on Tacos! (audience laughing). Anyway, now I'm irritated. (audience laughing). I walk up to the truck, and as I get there... this little dude pops out... and he was a completely different mood to me. You could tell, he just popped his head out, was like, "Hey, how you doing, man?".

"You want some tacos?". I said, "Ah, it would be awkward if we didn't.". (audience laughing). He says, "What? Oh yeah, yeah.". "Of course, man, of course.". "But you never know, maybe you want something else, yeah.". I said, "Oh, what else do you have, my friend?". He said, "No, nothing, man.". "It's a taco truck.". (audience laughing). I said, "Oh, thank you. Thank you. "That's a moment in my life I'll never get back.". "Thank you very much.". He said, "No, no, no, calmate, man.". "I'm just staying, you know, I don't wanna waste your time.". "You want tacos? Let's do tacos.". "How many tacos you want, my friend?". I said, "Well, I don't know how many tacos to get, sir.".

"I've never had tacos before.". He said, "You've never had tacos?". (audience laughing). I said, "No, I haven't.". "You've never had tacos?!". I was like, "Oh, you should meet my friend, Dave.". (audience laughing). 'Cause like I'm not gonna order food... when I don't know what it is, okay? I don't know what the quantities are. I don't know what tacos are. I don't know what taco is. I don't know what taco be. Okay, what do you say? How many do you get? 'Cause just now I'm gonna be like, "Give me five!". What if tacos is like little pigs or something? (audience laughing). I'm like, "Give me five!". Next thing I'm walking home with this... (screeching).

And that's how I started my farm. Like I have no clue... (audience laughing). what these things are! So I'm like, "Yo man, I just wanna try the food.". "Just give me enough to try.". He's like, "Okay, you're just trying it out.". "Two tacos is enough, my friend.". I said, "Okay, then give me two tacos.". He's like, "Two tacos coming up!". Guy goes to the back, starts preparing the food. I have no clue what's coming out. (audience laughing). He comes back a few minutes later. He's like, "Hey, my friend, your tacos are ready.". Said, "Oh, thank you, man.". "Thank you very much.". He's like, "Yeah, you want, you want a napkin?".

I said, "I'm sorry, what?". He said, "Do you want a napkin?". (audience laughing). And now L.A., this is where it gets weird for me... (audience laughing). because you see where I'm from... (audience laughing). napkins are the things babies wear... (audience laughing).

to hold their shit. (audience laughing). The thing for your mouth, we call a serviette. (audience laughing). But I didn't know that so at this point... this man had just turned to me, (audience laughing). offered me food, and then said... (audience laughing). "You want a napkin?". (audience laughing). I said, "I'm sorry, I'm confused.". "Why would I want a napkin?".

"You know, man, for the mess afterwards.". (audience laughing) (audience cheering). I said, "For the mess?". "How instant is it that I need a napkin?". (audience laughing). He said, "Hey, man, you never know with tacos, man.". (audience laughing). "One minute you think you got it... "the next thing it's coming out.". (audience laughing). I said, "It sounds like the most disgusting thing... I've ever heard in my life.". He's like, "No, it's part of the experience.". "Everybody does it, man.".

"You make a mess. You clean up.". "You come back, and try again, you know?". I said, "Alright, that's an experience I don't wanna have,". "I'm not gonna lie.". "I'm gonna skip it.". He's like, "So you're not gonna try my food?". I said, "Okay, fine, I'll try the food,". "but I'm not gonna take the napkin, man.". He says, "So what are you gonna do?". I said, "Well, if it's as crazy as you say it is,". "I'll just eat the taco in the car, on the way home.". He's like, "Oh, you think you safe?". (audience laughing). "You're gonna be driving, somebody swerves,". "you hit the brakes, splat, it's coming out!". (audience laughing).

"Don't be a hero, man.". (audience laughing). "Just take a napkin.". I said, "Alright, I'm not being a hero right now.". "I'm just being a grown-ass man, okay?". "Like, if it gets really bad, I'll just squeeze super tight". "till I get to where I'm going.". He's like, "Yeah, that's the problem.". "Some people they don't know, they squeeze it too tight". "then the juice comes spraying out even more.". (audience laughing). "It can spray on your pants, and on your shirt.". And I'm like, "On my shirt?". "How the hell does the shit get all the way up to my shirt?". (audience laughing). "What is it bouncing on the ground and ricocheting back up?".

"What the hell is in this, man?". He's like, "Hey man, you want the napkin or not?". I said, "I don't even want your tacos right now, dude.". (audience laughing). So much stress. (audience laughing). Now, I love tacos! (audience laughing). (audience cheering).