Meet Joe Opio - My Favorite People
[music]. I will apologize on behalf of South. Africans then to you as a fellow. African. Yeah. As a fellow African. We. didn't mean to leave you in the dust. We're not trying to do this. intentionally. However, your beef is. misplaced. >> because when we listened to Shawn Paul, >> okay, >> and other like reggae raga artists and. all of that dance hall and all of those. vibes, >> those guys would switch things up in the. middle of a sentence. We What did we. say?
>> I'll say this. >> No, no, no. I'll say this to me. I'll. say this. If you listen. If you listen to. If you listen to Let me tell you. something [laughter]. wrong. [laughter]. That's what I'm saying. >> Like where did the start? [laughter]. >> But you brought me in with no one. Just. give me the light. No, but no one. Okay. Give me the light. >> [laughter].
>> You listen. You listen for the beat. [music]. [music]. >> This is What now with Trevor Noah. [music]. Today the goal was to hang out with. Joseph Opio, one of my favorite people. This guy right here, Ugandan, honorary South African, [laughter]. fellow Daily Show writer,
co-conspirator, standup comedian, uh, sports enthusiast, uh, a football buff. That was my goal today was to hang out. with him. Okay. Then what happened was. then what happened was you came out of. nowhere. >> Okay, which is a wonderful blessing. But. you came out of nowhere because it was. another friend's birthday. >> with a plastic bag. You came with a. plastic bag [laughter] full of 0%. alcohol. >> It's hard to get 0% Guinness. >> Yes. So, you came with 0% hard to carry.
it. >> Which is like [laughter]. a a reverse, >> which is the ultimate It's the ultimate. like paradox. It's like someone who's. like, I came for the party, but I don't. like parties. [laughter]. Okay. So, that's when you came. Now, because we all roll together, we are in. this thing. So, now I'll answer your. question. So, it's not an interview. I. just wanted to hang out with Joe, >> right? >> Why are there cameras and [laughter] or. why? Because you could have just you. assuming he's one of your favorite. people. So I assume that up until this.
point you've hung out. >> Yes. >> Cool. Now you decided to hang out. Are you going to hang like Can we play. table tennis now? Let's play some. [laughter] table. >> Let me I don't have a table. If there. was table tennis, we could play. >> because we have to do the interview. >> If there was table No, [laughter]. actually if there was table tennis, we. could do it. Let me answer your question. this way. Why do you make a sex tape? >> Because people have sex. People have. sex. >> No, cuz you want to watch back the tape. >> Thank you. You want to have something. for posterity. So, you have sex already. and then sometimes you go, you know.
what? Let's record this. >> SOMETIMES, [laughter]. >> so I hope that answers some of your. question. Now, >> it doesn't answer some of my question. >> It does. You said, "Why are there. cameras?" Sometimes you want to record. it. >> Okay. >> You want to record the thing that you. do. So, what I was going back to was we. were talking about food. This this is. like one of the perfect moments where. you go like this is why Joseph Opia is. one of my favorite people. We were. talking about food and the swag you have. in a restaurant when you no longer have. like if the the menu all the prices are.
something you can easily afford. There's. like there's nothing. So, I was saying. remember the first time you didn't have. to calculate cuz remember those moment. where you'd [clears throat] order and. you'd be like they'd be like what would. you like and then you knew what you. liked but what you were actually trying. to think of was how do I how do I add 35. to 47? First time you didn't have that. was a cannon event. >> Exactly. >> It's also same as the first time you. filled up the tank without. >> Yes. Yes. Exactly. It's in that same. Yes. Where you just go fill it up. >> Just fill it up. >> Yeah. >> So now we were talking about this and. then Joe was saying, "Ah [laughter] man,
there's no greater pressure than having. to calculate the amount of money that a. date is going to cost you. >> when the date is sitting opposite." Then. he said, "Ah, it reminds me of that. scene from Swordfish.". >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Then I went, >> "What? [laughter]. Because I was like, who uses swordfish. [laughter]. as a reference? >> Yes. >> For making a decision. >> No, no, no. Joe, >> it's an iconic scene. >> Joe, >> it's the ultimate scene. >> Swordfish.
>> Yes. If you're thinking of making a. decision under so much pressure, my. friend, >> he had a gun to his head. >> He had to hack into. >> this system and then he had a WOMAN. GIVING HIM HEAD. >> YES. OUT GUYS. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN ICONIC. THING. >> YOU LEFT THAT PART OUT. ALL ALONG WE. [laughter] WERE FIGHTING ABOUT GUNS. PEOPLE. ARE. >> HE DIDN'T let me like set up the thing. I told him iconic. >> That's not what I'm saying. Iconic. Hugh Jackman is a hacker. John Pro has a.
gun to his head. >> JACKMAN WAS GETTING A [ __ ]. >> YES. And he had he had like a minute to. hack into the system. >> Yes. >> The pressure he was under. >> Okay. You're not understanding what I'm. saying. I'm not saying that your choice. of scene is incorrect. >> Okay? >> I'm saying I have never in my life heard. somebody go to Swordfish for I've heard. people say Mission Impossible Pressure. Action. I've heard people say The Matrix. Action. I've heard people go Titanic. I've heard people go, >> "Who in Titanic was under the most?".
>> No, no, no. What I'm saying is like. there are movies that are generally. thought of as the go-to for like an. example or for an idea. Oh, you've been. redpilled. It's from the Matrix. You get. what I'm Oh, I thought it was from. vaccines. >> No, bro. She came from the matrix. >> She came from the matrix. Yeah, you got. co-opted by the by the vaccines, right? Yeah. But the thing is now I'm thinking. you should change the people you hang. out with. These people are not cultured. [laughter]. >> You should change your favorite people. if they can't make. >> No, but you're my favorite people and.
here you are. [laughter]. You're here you are swordfishing me. In. fact, that's what I'm going to use it as. now from now on. I'm going to say. someone swordfished me [laughter] and. then they're going to go, "What does. that mean?" And I'm going to say to. swordfish somebody is to just bring up. the most random [laughter]. >> instance. Yo, nobody knows Swordfish. DO. YOU KNOW SWORDFISH? DO YOU REMEMBER. SWORDFISH? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. OKAY, let's. ask the man off camera. >> of culture. >> I I you could use Swordfish. You could. use was Hugh Jackman in Swordfish as a. trivia question and people would be for.
the 500,000 and who wants to be. millionaire and we'd be like that's a. good question. Nobody knows what. >> No one knows that. >> No, because we're not cultured. Yeah, I'm a man of culture. I'm I'm a. gentleman and a scholar and I watch both. prestige movies and you know I don't the. thing the thing is it's the scene that. comes to mind. There's no other scene. Tell me of any other scene actually it's. alo scene it's also the only scene. that's memorable from the movie. >> where huge Jackman gets a [ __ ] ever. in his career. >> while whileing it's the context and.
having a gun to his head. >> and he's got 60 seconds. >> Yes. >> You're the worst. No was I gave it. context though. Eugene was on board. [laughter]. >> Eugene is just an agent of chaos. That's. what Eugene is agent provocator. >> Yeah, that's exact that's exactly what. you are. [laughter]. >> We speaking French now culture. >> Can actually that's I've always wanted. to know that about you like. how do you think you found that balance. as a person? cuz like you you you have.
one of the strangest balances. of of probably any human being that I. know and what I mean by this is there. are a lot of people who will only watch. like swordfish type movies right and. then there'll be people who immerse. themselves in just like the densest. literature and you know writings and. books and blah blah blah and political. you you know what I mean you you name it. political foray and and this and that. and this. >> you have the broadest taste.
And. >> is this question to Joe or to me? >> No, to Joe. [laughter] YOU DON'T HAVE. BROAD TASTE AT ALL. >> YEAH, DAVE. Yours is very niche. >> You don't have BROAD TASTE AT ALL. [laughter]. >> THIS guy. you is so niche. Sometimes it comes off. as pretentious. >> This is Can I tell you this is going to. be the weirdest podcast cuz people are. going to go like, "What? What is that. other [laughter] person?" And then I. don't even know how we explain it. So if. you're watching or listening to this, you're going, [laughter] "What is. happening?" I'll tell you what's.
happening. There's a Ugandan here. Then. there's another Ugandan who's also a. South African and but he's not with us. here. >> Now you make it seem like he's staying. migration. [laughter]. >> I came I CAME FOR THIS PODCAST and I. brought him LIKE. THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS [laughter] LIKE. >> It feels like we we have like a spirit. that's connected from the beyond. >> Yes. Yes. [laughter]. >> It's like if we can't see him, you can. hear his voice. If we get you all if we. get like one more we get Zoron MALUYA. [laughter].
and then [laughter]. >> so. >> so [clears throat] the reason is I'll. tell you why it's not a question to you. is because you are not you are not broad. at all. >> no only because I have the answer. >> of [laughter] him. >> yes. >> no first I want to hear his answer then. I want to see what you. >> okay so give you your answer for me. >> I don't think I made a del I I don't. want to be put in a. if that makes sense. So, >> so you you'll purposely watch a terrible. movie. >> I That's what I'm saying. I don't think. I made the deliberate choice cuz I think.
like art in it very nature or like. things can be appreciated regardless of. the can we say standard or quality like. so swordfish not the greatest movie in. the world. >> but it had its moments. It's complex. almost it's almost like people. >> if that makes sense. >> Yeah. People can be appreciated because. they have different they bring like. different nuances to everything. So a. bad movie can have a great scene. >> The same way a great movie can have some. bad scenes in it. So when I watch or.
when I'm reading like books, I'll read. like the most, you know, what we call. like smart books cuz they have great. moments. And then I would read like. trashy novels. I'll go like on vacation. and I'll read like a. >> something. Yes. No. >> Okay. Not exactly Mborn, but it did have. its moments when we were still. teenagers, but I'm I'm saying I don't I. don't have like exclusive. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. Joe, I know. you're becoming very profound here, but. you you you you read Mills and Boos as a. teenager.
>> This guy's done everything. >> You you going to understand by the end. of this conversation why this guy's one. of my favorite people. This man has done. every Let me tell you one of my favorite. stories. >> But before I do, Dave, what was your. answer going to be for him? Is it the. same as. >> No, it's because you come from Uganda. >> Okay. >> As we know, so in terms of. >> Sorry to interrupt you. >> I'm just going to call this whole. podcast. Pardon the interruption. [laughter]. >> Sorry to interrupt you. Can I just say. what's really what sounds funny is. >> it almost feels like. >> because you know you've got a thick.
accent. >> It almost. >> Why though? That's the question. >> Say. >> no. Every time people say that. [laughter] I like Why though? >> Because No, no, no, no. Let me CAN I. [laughter] CAN I EXPLAIN? Can I explain? >> Okay. >> So, I didn't know I had an accent till I. left Uganda cuz everyone in Uganda. sounded like this. >> Yeah. No, no, that's true. >> So, then I come to America, I go to. South Africa and people like, "Oh, you. have an accent." And I like, "No, you. have an accent. >> cuz you're not wrong.". >> Yes. Cuz in my mind when I speak, >> I sound like I sound I sound like Hugh.
Grant right now. When I'm when I'm. talking like you should go to Uganda and. hear those. >> No. When I'm talking right now, I sound. like Hugh. sound the case. I sound like. you're an English aristocrat. >> No. And can I tell you something? If I. I've seen your So, so I've seen your. writing and we'll go through this in. stages. So, I'll actually we we'll get. back to the story, but in writing. because this man sitting here has a. vocabulary that surpasses any human. being I've met in my life, like. personally person that I know. I I don't. know everyone in the world. This guy.
here, if I'm looking for a word, searching for a sentence, trying to fix. grammar or structure, this person here. knows more about the English language. than anyone I've ever met. >> Right. >> Mhm. >> So, I get what you're saying. When you. right now, what you what we heard was. you and then what you heard on the mic. was you going, I I don't understand why. anybody [laughter] thinks I have an. accent. In fact, in fact, when you when you. think about swordfish, then you think. about swordfish. >> In my mind, >> in my mind, let me tell you, let me tell.
you the funny thing is when I had funny. thing is when I cuz Trevor does. impressions. impressions. impressions of people. So Trevor used to. go like I'm going this then Joe said. this then Trevor would do an impression. of me and then I'll go like who is that. guy? [laughter]. CUZ I go like oh that guy sounds THAT. GUY SOUNDS WEIRD. >> Oh [laughter] god. >> Who? Cuz in my mind I LIKE, "NO, I DON'T. SOUND LIKE THAT." YES. >> LIKE EVERY TIME. [laughter]. >> Every time Trevor Cuz Trevor does you,
he goes like, "Oh, I'm going to do." NO, HE DOES. HE GO. SO then [laughter]. Trevor does Trevor doesn't do it like. normal people cuz we go like, "Oh." And. then [laughter] and we go like, "And. then Eugene said this and then we say. Trevor does you." He goes like, "And. then Joseph then you do my" And you're. like, "Hold on." I go like, "Wait, who. is that weird? Why [laughter] does he. sound like that?" Cuz in my mind I don't. [laughter]. >> Can I tell you can I tell you what's so. funny to me right now is the idea of. this happening for the first time.
>> cuz now to you it seems like a crazy. concept but now imagine if you were. hanging out with Hugh Grant. >> right and then you were telling a story. about Hugh Grant. >> and then you go like a man Hugh you're. such a funny guy you're such a funny guy. like I remember and then Hugh Grant's. like what what what are you talking. about? What what did I do? And then you. go like, "I'll tell you what. I was I. was at Subway with you, Grant." And then. I go like, "Uh, which bread do you. want?" And then Hugh turns to me and. then he's like, "I'll tell you which. BREAD I WANT." [laughter]. That's like basically what he saying I. did to you. >> That's every time I would go like, I.
don't know who this guy is, but I also. don't understand what like I would go. like this guy sounds weird. >> So now what I'm what I'm saying is Yeah. Because you at least you've seen it in. practice though in America. Obviously. everyone has an accent when they're. speaking another language if they're in. another place. We all come from. countries where second language is a. thing, right? So, but what I'm saying is. funny now is I knew your accent was. thick. So, I knew for the video side of. the podcast like this is going to be. dope. Then I was like on the audio side. I was like can you do subtitles for.
audio? I didn't know if you could. Right. >> Then now it almost feels like you Dave. came [laughter] to to be his like. >> Yeah. No. No. But to be like his like. Yeah. But like almost. >> cuz Okay. Joe gave his answer. I was. like, Joe, why do you have such broad. taste? He gave his answer. Then Dave. goes, no, let me tell you what it. [laughter] is. >> So, yeah, tell us. So, you're saying. because. >> so it it all depends on when you first. start sort of like living. your you have a range of experience.
that's offered to you just as a person. Yeah. >> If you live in. >> Saudi Arabia, most likely you don't know. about cold temperatures. >> Okay. Yes. because you just weren't born. in cold temperatures. You know, if you. live in New York City, you know, four. seasons, that kind of thing, >> right? >> So Joe coming from Uganda, the third. world. >> He knows their various things. For. example, food. He knows food can come. from a restaurant. >> It can come from a grocery store. >> Yes. >> It can come from a farm,
>> but it can also come from the sky. You. know, when they dropped the where they. dropped [laughter]. the. >> sky just broke. >> where the UN dropped the gra, you know, when they're like. >> [laughter]. >> Is that great? I'LL SAY I'll say OH MY. GOD I'LL SAY THIS. >> most people my god just a moment let me. let me let me interrupt you just cuz. you're talking about food I remember my. first time I came to the US so I didn't. know the concept of healthy eating in. that way right there it comes. >> and so when I came [laughter] Americans.
kept talking about organic food and oh. and they kept telling me my friends oh. you can get organic food from this place. called Trader Joe's and it's sometimes. more expensive and so I thought organic. food was a brand. Then I went to trader. and they were going like, "Oh, it comes. from farm to table and oh that's the as. we call it food in Uganda cuz everything. we don't have processed food we don't. have.". >> And so when you're talking about like a.
different Yes. Like Dave is right in. that in that. >> So for example like in your mind just. even think of when grain falls from the. sky. So now Joe in just in I'm saying. he's his he's broad pallet. >> Yes. >> Joe even knows which is the good grain. and which is the bad grain just from. which plane is [laughter] flying. >> This guy just went like I go like avoid. that. [laughter]. >> You see that's a nice.
>> that's good pain over there. >> So here's here's the thing. I I hear I. hear what you mean by that, but I I. almost feel like it doesn't go deep. enough because. >> I used to use that by there as an excuse. at the Daily Show to never make line for. food when we've been in a food line at. the Daily Show. >> I would go like, "Wow, for shame you're. making an African line up for food. again. >> This is this this why I came to America. never and then white people would go. like I guess he has to skip the line. now. >> You can't." [clears throat]. >> That's a legend right there. >> I would go like wow I did even water. I.
would go to I would go like hey can you. get me water tell the fellow writer can. you get me water and go like why go like. I walked 5 miles and you want me to walk. to the kitchen as well. >> just damn Joe. >> yes you have to I can't. >> what a superpower to have in a building. full of liberals. >> yes. >> they go like oh we have to. >> also super power. >> Joe is the only guy amongst all of us. who can walk into the New York marathon. and never have run a race but look like. he was participating in fact he might. look like he won Yeah, you've got that.
like. >> like he can go collect a medal now. He. wears a vest. >> He's also he also is one of the f He. might actually might actually run the. marathon. >> But if if he just puts on a vest Yes. >> and shorts after the and then you go. queue for a medal, no one will ask you. anything. I did run a marathon. >> actually. Actually, it's funny you bring. that up. Do you remember, man? It's. funny you say that. >> One of my favorite stories, Joe, was. when um. >> uh it was a movie premiere. It was. Idris. It was Idris Elvis. This was. Idris Elvis. [laughter]. >> Yes. Okay.
>> Beasts of No Nation. Beast of Nation. I'll never forget. Yeah. >> So, if I remember correctly, the movie. was on Netflix, wasn't it? >> Ended up on Netflix, but they had a. screening. >> Okay. Okay. Yeah. So, >> if you're a member of the writer guild, you're invited to screenings. >> Yes. >> So that you can vote for the Oscars, you. know, and so I turn up to watch the. movie. Brilliant movie. Loved it. >> Then we go cuz at the screening then. they have like a party afterwards and. then the reception. >> Yeah. And the movie for those who don't. remember was Beast of No Nation was a.
movie about Idris Ela being like a like. a warlord and he had a bunch of child. soldiers. >> and that was like this that's basically. the story. Okay. >> So then we go to the reception. >> and then I notice there's this couple. that keeps looking at me. >> And so it was uh. uh Anthony Winner. >> Yeah. >> And Abadin. Back then they were. together. And they keep looking at me. and I go like do I know them from. somewhere? Cuz you know get you get that. feeling. do I know these people? And. then they come and approach me with big.
smiles on their faces. And then I go. like as they're approaching literally. when they just like a second away from. me, I go like, "Oh, it's the congressman. with the scandal and [clears throat]. know in my mind." And then they approach. me and they go like, "We loved you in. the movie. You were amazing in the movie." And I. went like this is why this guy need to. be taken DOWN [laughter]. cuz I THAT'S WHAT I SAID INSIDE BUT. OUTSIDE I WAS GOING LIKE SHOULD I go. [laughter] like.
>> what did you say? >> I just went like oh you know thank you. cuz I went like they were saying I had. an Oscar winning tan basically. What. could you say? >> They were saying you look like a child. soldier. >> Yes. That's what they had grown up. Yes. But. >> that's Do you have subtitles? Not. subtitles, but you have that thing that. they have where they give you facts. A. fact check. >> on screen. >> Yes. >> Why you want us to fact check this? >> No. No. I just want you to fact check. that just in case we're watching. He is. not a child. >> Oh, we should put that [laughter] up. You know what I mean? Just so.
>> Joe is not a child soldier. >> No, Joe is not in the movie. >> He isn't in the movie and he isn't. Do. you know what I mean? Cuz your accent is. confusing. There's a lot happening. >> NO CHILD SOLDIER was harmed. You know. what I mean? There's a lot happening. here. Yeah. >> When you were when you were a kid, [laughter]. were your tastes as broad as they are. now or was this something that developed. over time? >> No, they were. Because the thing is, and. to go to the point that Dave was trying. to make in Uganda, so when you come from. a smaller culture, you're forced because. you don't produce as much, you're forced. to consume things from larger cultures. >> So when I was growing up, I was a I. loved reading,
>> but then you didn't have as many books. in Uganda. So you had to read everything. you could get your hands on whether be. it Mand whether be it like Shakespeare. you just had to read everything and so. it's funny because when I go to. countries let's say South Africa even. the US Americans are very shocked they. go like oh how do you know about this. movie that happened how do you know. about this moment that happened about. >> and I go like cuz. >> when I was in Uganda when I watch the. news when they go like foreign news it's. America it's Britain it's South Africa.
when I'm reading a newspaper when they. go like oh international news. It's. South Africa, it's Britain, it's. >> But when you're in America, cuz. Americans are always going to like, "Oh, we feel ignorant. We don't know as much. about Uganda." Then I go like, "It makes. sense." When you're watching news, >> when they go foreign news, it's not. always Uganda. >> Maybe every once in a while, but it's. France, it's other countries cuz you. guys are a big culture. So remember when. we were at work and I was talking about. how when we were growing up, we were at. the Daily Show and I told them us.
growing up the most iconic movie in. Uganda was Baby's Day Out. [laughter]. Baby's Day Out was bigger than STAR. WARS. >> WAIT, WHAT is Baby's Day Out? >> It's [laughter]. How do I explain it? >> Sorry, I wasn't in Uganda. >> Yes. So what happens? Why is this movie. about a baby? IT'S YES. [laughter]. IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT'S ALMOST LIKE A. ripoff of Home Alone. Yes. >> But it's like a toddler like crawling.
and then this part trying to kidnap him. and then he and it was a huge movie in. Uganda because the comedy stemmed from. >> the physicality of it. You didn't have. to know English. You didn't have to. So. [clears throat] I told people at the. Daily Show this movie was bigger than. Star Wars and they couldn't believe it. And then we went on Wikipedia and it. turns out even in India [clears throat]. >> that movie spent more time. >> in cinemas spent more weeks in cinemas. than Star Wars.
>> and Americans their minds were blown. like we didn't even this was a big like. you know movies that go straight to. straight to. I told them that kid is an icon in. Uganda. I would rather have his. autograph than Harrison Ford or or Gene. Heman. >> Yes. So it's that like you you were forced to. consume Star Wars but then also you were. forced to consume so Americans. understand Jackie Chan because Jackie. Chan is big in America but he was huge. in Africa because his move. >> no he was massive he was massive when.
you said now Jackie Chan they understand. him but babies out they were like we. don't what. >> it's another swordfish. >> that's you see you swordfished them. >> that's exactly what Joe did you. swordfished them cuz he said in the. office he was like ah yeah blah blah. blah blah and then he used it as a. reference He went, "Ah, it's as crazy as. saying nobody watched Babies Day Out.". >> And everyone, everyone was. >> Everyone went, "I'm sorry. What? It's. not Baby's Day Out. It's babies.". >> Yes. [laughter]. >> No, but now you make it sound like it's. a bunch of them. One baby. [laughter].
>> Exactly what you said, Joe. Babies Day. Out. >> Is it possible to have requests? Can I. have some requests? >> This guy with questions. >> Anything is possible. I don't. understand. Like what what is a like. you're going to ask us to sing a song to. you now? >> No, no. I would like I would like if. possible some background maybe some. anecdotes on you you and Joe's. relationship. I'm just saying it would. be nice. >> And we're taking your request if you. could be like this is Joe. This is one. of my great friends.
>> Yeah. Well, our great. favorite people or whatever. favorite people and great friends. >> No, no, no. Even even FAVORITE. I THINK. I OBJECT TO FAVORITE CUZ I've seen the. favorites HE HAS. >> NO. OH, YOU'RE POINTING AT ME. [laughter]. >> NO, BUT I'VE SEEN I'VE SEEN KAYA. I've. seen Anel. I've seen I don't want to be. lumped IN THIS CHARACTER. THESE ARE my favorites. [laughter]. Look, I'm not sure this is good for my. brand. >> Wow. FOOD. >> NO. NO. LISTEN. NO. LISTEN. NO. LISTEN.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY. I'll tell you why. I'LL TELL YOU WHY. LISTEN. [laughter]. KA. LISTEN. Kaya Eugene. These are South. Africans. >> And I said honorary South Africans. >> No. No. No. But even that, like. honorary, >> do you know this as Africans? We have. beef with South Africans. >> Yes. >> It might be even one-sided. And. actually, a friend told me to bring this. up to you. >> Jesus. >> Why do South Africans. >> Hey, hey, hey. >> It sounds like I'm [laughter]. >> No, I want to HEAR THE QUESTION. >> WHY DO SOUTH Africans. always begin a tweet in English and then.
end it in Vanak? You trying to confuse. the ending? >> No, no, no. But that's I'll actually. tell you why. I'll tell you why. because. that's how. most South Africans even speak to each. other. >> But you realize how confusing that is. for the rest of. >> Africa. So listen now, it's funny you. say that. We went to Shakespeare in the. park here in Central Park, right? And so. it was a beautiful rendition of 12th. Night. It's Lupitaongo. It's Peter being. cultured. Yes. >> Trying not swordfish, but okay. >> Yes. So So we're trying. So we go and.
watch Shakespeare. Every sentence started in the kind of. English that I know. >> Okay. >> And then it ended in like some. Shakespearean stuff that didn't make any. sense. You know what I mean? >> I didn't see one person saying why do. they do that? Why did Shakespeare do. that? >> Still English. >> No, but he made up words. There's random. words that weren't English that he made. Yeah. No, that's what that's what a. wordsmith does. But I'm saying you guys. begin in one, you know, you know. >> So, let me explain why. Let me explain. why. So since you wanted to take it.
there, there's a thing called a birthday. Joe. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Seems I missed out. Okay. >> I'm just saying I have for cuz Dave went. through [laughter] it cuz they've left. Uganda to go to South Africa. I was tell. him, "Dude, you left Uganda. You went. like I would rather go to a country. where black people treated like this. than stay in this. [laughter]. >> Keep your mills AND BO AND OUT. LET IT. BOUNCE. LET IT BOUNCE [laughter] OUT. THIS IS THIS IS THIS BABY'S day out.
>> THIS BABY IS OUT. THIS BABY IS OUT. IT'S. [laughter] VERY offensive when you think. about it. >> He went like you see a South Africa. still better than Uganda. [laughter]. >> Meanwhile, we are stuck there. >> So So, [clears throat]. >> so I No, I really do think this is what. it is. It's it's it's actually a. beautiful byproduct of a terrible. beginning, right? Because South Africa. is a country where black people and. everyone was forced to speak certain. languages that weren't their own. So you. were forced to speak English, you were. forced to speak Africans, right? So.
people were commonly speaking. a language or starting a sentence in a. language that they didn't speak. But. often times your vocabulary runs out. Most most sentences are easy to start in. another language, right? I know this. when I learn new languages. I'll find. like if if I if I speak Spanish because. I don't really know how to speak it yet. I can start a sentence, you know, and I. can go. and then you then you're like, "Okay, I. have to I have to default. I have to. default.". >> Okay. No, no. Yeah, I understand. Yeah. >> A natural byproduct of that in language.
I find is that people who've been forced. to speak another language adopt parts of. that language, but the true essence of. who they are is contained in their. mother tongue. So they might start a. sentence in English because that's just. how they speak. But when you want to get. into like the juice of it, you start the. sentence in English and then by the end. because you get what I'm saying. >> Can I counter. >> counter? >> Because we were also forced to learn a. language. You make it seem like South. Africa was the only country that.
>> I didn't make it seem like anything. Why. you said. >> I didn't make it seem like I just told. you how South Africa was. >> Okay. So here's the thing. Here's the. beef that we have with you guys. You do. this. >> on an international platform. So now WE. DO IT ON. yeah so now listen I want you to. appreciate my my my. following this tweet it's very funny. >> and then I don't understand the ending. [laughter]. >> and then I'm like wait what happened now. I have to go to Google translate. >> and the worst part is the worst part is.
it's almost like being ghosted by text. cuz you are following and [laughter]. then pro twist now they're speaking kosa. or whatever. >> and you so invested you so invested. South Africans are great at Twitter. Yeah, we're good. >> So, you're invested and then now you see. people laughing and you're like, "Okay, I didn't get the ending.". >> It's a Game of Thrones. It's a Game of. Thrones. >> If you think about it, great great. season, first season, great second, and. then the final season, >> then you like, "What just happened now?". >> So, I'm trying to explain it to you. So, this is what I'm saying. You're not. wrong about these parts, >> right? And I will apologize on behalf of.
South Africans then to you as a fellow. African. Yeah. As a fellow African, we. didn't mean to leave you in the dust. We're not trying to do this. intentionally. However, your beef is. misplaced because when we listened to. Shawn Paul, >> okay, >> and other like reggae raa artists and. all of that dance hall and all of those. vibes, >> those guys would switch things up in the. middle of a sentence. We What did we. say? >> I'll say this. >> No, no, no. I'll say this to give me.
I'll say this. If you listen, if you listen to. If you listen to Let me tell you. something. [laughter]. wrong. That's what I'm saying. Like, where the start? [laughter]. >> But you brought me IN WITH NO ONE. Just. give me the light. But no one listens. No, but no one. Okay. Give me the light. You listen for you listen for the beats.
No one listens to so so that so that's. why I'm saying to you don't think of it. as an affront. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> But now that you've told us. >> Yes. I'm sure. Yes. >> We appreciate it. We won't change. anything. However, we'll look in we. should blame this on like the platforms. for not like translating automatically. or like showing you. >> But I'll I'll bring that up with South. Africa. But it's also it's also the. reason why we coined the phrase uh. running out of English bundles. >> cuz like running out of data. >> Oh yeah, that's what so when when the.
English runs out, you like default. >> Yeah. >> Then you have to get in there. But it. was the same with toal. Toita was a. mixture of Africans and any other a. South African language. So you'd mix the. Africans just to get by and then you'd. put the other parts just to go about the. other person. So initially Okay. [clears throat] But you didn't know this. is unique to South Africa, right? >> No. Cuz like we don't do it in. >> No, no. A lot of people do it. No. No. No. No. I'll tell you. A lot of people. we don't no I'll tell you I'll tell you. um when I was in India they'll do it. with uh with Hindi as well. >> okay. >> they'll start a sentence in English.
>> like literally some friends friends will. be talking with each other I'm like. literally when we're in Mumbai doing. shows. >> no no no I understand talking I'm saying. twe that's why I said oh. >> national platform yes. >> so I'm not I'm not familiar with Hindi. Twitter. >> okay okay. >> but this is a very uniquely African. [laughter] thing no they'll do it. sometimes they'll do it sometimes. they'll start sentence and they'll be. like they'll be like, "Yo guys, why does. it seem like every time Indian sound. like that?" No, because they're doing it. in the accent when they're speaking as. well. So, they go like, "Yo guys, the.
Indians are very offended cuz they sound. like Hugh Grant in their minds. THEY'RE. GOING TO [laughter] INDIANS know how. Indians sound.". >> You're the only person who doesn't know. how you sound. In fact, I want to know. from you guys. Did you not have. recorders in India? In Uganda? >> Can I. >> Did Joe never hear his accent in Uganda? >> It's crazy. But can I ask a question? Can I ask a question? >> I feel like you came to an interview. [laughter]. I I can't. >> in terms of your guys' relationship. >> Okay. >> And by the way, And by the way, before. we move on, can I just say how much I. appreciate this cuz we we never have a.
viewer or listener. >> This feels like the comment section is. live. >> Live. >> It also No, but it also feels like a. therapy session cuz it keeps taking it. back. >> No, no, but I do like the comments. I'm. just saying I appreciate you. I. appreciate you. You know, cuz I know all. three of you are like have wonderful. relationship and it would be and you're. here to podcast Joe. Is that the phrase. that you use? [laughter]. >> No, he said he's here to sex tape jobs. >> to hang out with sex. Yes. >> Okay, [laughter] cool. But before you.
make the sex tape, >> you would like me to tell you how I met. this guy? So not even how you met but. just in that vein just to establish us. so that we know oh okay this is cuz if. let's say Joe was your brother then you. could go this is my brother a few. antidotes from and anecdotes from when. you were young. >> oh yes that you know you know what I'm. saying this is [laughter]. >> the funny thing is I feel we're going to. have. >> the way it is you just brought some cab. driver from New York put him [laughter]. at the table and interview so that's the. feeling we're getting lost in space.
>> you know what you know what it sounds. like it sounds like It sounds like Dave. is going like, "You need to so that he. it feels like [laughter] he thinks ICE. might trade this and you need to. establish the relationship.". >> No, no, no. I'll tell you what's. happened. I'll tell you what happened. Dave has lived in New York for too long. And in New York and in America, >> the number one phrase people love asking. is, "So, how do you guys know each. other?". >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> So, like, how do you guys know each. other? Like, where did you guys meet? So, like, how did you guys how do you. guys know each other? >> How do you know the birthday boy?
Ex there's like the context I find I. find more than most places in the world. >> America but in New York people really. want to know like how. >> people know each other how are you. connected and how you know what I mean. whereas like even now going back to. South Africa I've realized. [clears throat] like the other day we. were watching um was the Premier League. just started and we had people over. >> whole bunch of friends came and it was a. mixed group no one asked anyone how. anyone knew anyone we just got in with. like our opinions and our ideas. >> cuz you assume yes.
>> and then people just left and no one. went. So how do you know how do you know. that person? But I like that you said. this. So I'll I'll give you a bit of a. backstory. So to go back. >> I feel like we're going to have very. conflicting. Okay. >> We very conflicting text on this. >> No, no, no, no, no. I I didn't know you. So I I will I'm [clears throat] saying I. wouldn't have known you through Dave. Tell your side of how we met and then we. can go from there. >> Okay. So the way I remember it, I knew. Dave prior. I come to New York. So, okay, I knew Dave cuz I went to South. Africa to perform comedy to like.
>> pursue comedy. I meet Dave. I go to. wherever Dave was working. I just showed. up. >> I didn't know anyone. So, I arrived I. arrived in South Africa. I don't know. anyone. >> I go to where the Davs used to work cuz. I like their show. We got it in Uganda. >> So, I walk in and they go like, "Hey, I'm here to see the guys who do this. show." Which seems crazy now, but made. sense then. >> Even then. >> Yeah. No. Then the then then the. reception. >> even then the reception [clears throat]. goes like okay you can have a who do you. want to see then I go like oh whoever.
produces the show weird. >> then they go like oh they're out for. lunch but you can have a seat. >> So I sit now remember I used to do a. show like LN in Uganda. >> Yeah. You used to basic you you. basically used to do the Daily Show in. Uganda but alone. >> like a very a very pale like starved. imitation of the Daily Show. >> Why did you have to say starved? >> Cuz it wasn't getting grains FROM UP. THERE. >> [laughter]. >> SO I TURN UP AND then I'm seated there. and then Kahiso comes. Kahiso was like.
the director, creator, producer and Dave. and they come. No, I think Dave didn't. come. Just Kahiso. And then they walking. past the reception and they do a double. take and they go, "Wait, are you are you. the guy from who does the show in. Uganda?" And I like, "Oh yeah, it's me.". Then like, "Oh my god, we're big fans. We've watched the show on YouTube. Can. you come through?" Then like, "Oh, that's why I came here." So then they. take me back to the writer's room and. then I sit in the writer's room. Then. they start pitching jokes, you know, talking. Then I start pitching as well. cuz you know I make myself comfortable.
wherever I go. So I start pitching then. So then I pitch an idea cuz you remember. you were shooting something about the. South African elections and how like. there were illegals coming in maybe from. Zimbabwe trying to Yes. No to vote. >> No, still now. >> Oh yeah. Okay. I thought still the. election. So then I pitch, hey, how. about what if I I act I pitch something. about an illegal coming in trying to act. like a South African and then he's. singing like all the South African songs. social but he's butchering them cuz. clearly it's an illegal and so then they.
go like hey are you around on Monday. like yeah I am like can you come we'll. shoot you be the illegal I like okay. cool. >> this feels like a trap by the way this. really does feel like a trap. >> so then I show up oh this happens blah. blah blah blah and then I get to know. Dave we meet Dev was a very gracious. host. He takes me around perform stand. up this and this and then. >> you know what's the interesting thing? Sorry. Even though I asked for this. question, okay, is [laughter] that the. way I asked, could you describe how you.
met Trevor? Yes. And now what you're. doing is you're giving backstory cuz. this could go everybody linked. Do you. know what I'm saying? And now I was. born. I knew I knew when he said I'm. SORRY THAT HE'S NOT. [laughter]. >> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? >> IT'S NOT FUNNY. You can I I get it. >> A backstory can start at any point. [laughter] I met you through so and so. as a child. Do you see WHAT I'M SAYING? >> YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T START WITH my. first day out as a baby. >> Yes. [laughter] NO. NO. NO. OKAY. NO. So.
So anyway, so I get to know. >> you and Trevor met at some point. >> Okay. So I get to know So I get to know. Dave. >> How did that happen? >> I get to know Dave. Then I tell. [laughter] Dave. >> Okay. Listen. So I get to know Dave. Then I I tell Dave, I'm going to go to. America because I've come to South. Africa and I've kind of hacked it but. not really. But now I want to go to. America because America is the biggest. comedy. >> Wait, wait, wait. So how familiar are. you with Dave at this point? Do you even. tell him your dreams and wishes? >> No, we hang out. We hang out like for. >> So fast forward from the day. >> No, cuz I had only a one month visa. So.
we hung out during that time. Then I. told you. >> visas. >> Yeah, South Africa. You we need visas to. come South Africa. >> You do? >> Yes. >> And yet we helped shelter Mandel and. those guys. I swear. Anyway, that's. another bit. >> [laughter]. >> toward getting into it. So I tell Dave, "Hey, I'm going to go south. I'm going. to go to America because that's where. like you know all the big comedians. are." Then Dave goes like, "What? But. you you're starting to get your foot. together." I go like, "Yeah, I'll go. If. it doesn't work out, I'll come back.". >> Yeah. >> So then I come to America. First night I. knew no one in America. I come in, I go. like, "America gives me 3 months." So I. went like, I need to.
make it work as quickly as possible. So. first night I go to the cellar, >> the comedy seller. comedy seller. >> cuz I had seen it in Louis and I knew. about it. So I go like, "Hey, I asked. the bus, the weight, I'm here to see the. booker.". >> Oh, yeah. Estie who runs Yeah. >> Yeah. The booker cuz I done some. research and then they the weight goes. like, "Uh, no. She comes in around. midnight. So, can can you wait around?". I wait. I have nothing to do first. night. I wait. Midnight. Midnight 31. Est is nowhere to be seen. So, the waist.
the waist tells me, "Hey." So, I tell. her I'm going to bounce. She's not here. Then, okay, cool. Then in my mind I go. I'm coming back tomorrow. So I show up. tomorrow night different weight staff. Then I go like okay I'm here to see ST. and this particular weight staff thinks. I have an appointment. So she goes like. oh see it you know she she come around. midnight. So I see it midnight midnight. 30. She comes and she goes okay. So. Estie is here. So now ST you know this. from the comedy. I should go sit at the. comedian's table. >> Yeah. So I stand up and go to the.
comedian's table and it was ST, it was. Louis CK, it was I think Corin Jo from. SNL and I think Aizari. They were seated. there. So I go and I approach her and I. go, "Hey ST, what's up?" She goes, "Oh, hello. How are you doing?" And I go. like, "Oh, I'm a comedian and I want to. perform at the comedy seller." And then. she goes like, "Oh, okay. Uh, do you. have any have you been on on TV before?". Cuz you need a TV credit to perform at. the sale. And I go like, "Yeah, I've. been on South African TV. I've been on. Ghana TV." Then she goes, "No, no, no,
no." She goes like, "No, that doesn't. count. I mean, have you been on America? Have you been on a late night show in. America?" Then I go like, "No." Then she. goes, "Oh, okay. Then in that case, uh, you need to be recommended by two. comedians who played there for 10. years.". >> Damn. >> And then I go, "Okay, they just look at me like going like, what's happening?". >> Because now you've interrupted. >> Yes. What's happening? >> The table. >> Yeah. V table. So, but I didn't know. about this. So then I go like, "Yeah, I. understand all these restrictions. You. don't want trash on your stage. All. these are quality control measures, but.
in my defense, I've come a long way. I've come from Africa. That should count. for something." Then she goes, "Oh, that's funny. Oh, okay. Can you send me. something? I I'll wave some of these. things. Can you send me something on. email?" I go like, "Okay." So she gives. me an email address and I go, "Of. course, you know, she's blowing me off.". >> I've seen this story before. You know, girls give you the wrong number. I go, "Oh, Est is blowing me off." Then I go. back to my place. It's like 1:30 and. then I send her something. I said I had. done like a clip about Obama becoming.
president and I swear 12 minutes later. she responds and she goes like, "Oh, this is different and funny. Come. through and perform." So I go through. >> same night. No, this is like five five. nights later I go through perform. >> Yeah. >> And then I perform. She comes down. She. comes down to see you. She comes. So I. went on after Louis and when Luig came. off. No, I went on after him and then I. go and perform 5 minutes I perform and. then people laugh at my punch lines and. then Devat Tale who is a comedy legend.
in New York. >> comes on after me. >> and then he goes like as I'm walking off. he goes like yo can you hold on a moment. then then he goes like are you really. from Uganda? I go like yeah I am. Then. he goes like I don't I don't believe it. You knew so much about America and. politics and this. Then he goes like. this guy I think is a Brooklyn comedian. whose whole stick is I'm a Uganda. So. then makes jokes that I come off then. estines.
but man Louis can never wow people laugh. at their silences at their gestures. >> Wow I want to be like that. >> So can I come back and just watch and. learn? I don't want to go back on stage. Can I just come and watch and learn the. masters? And she was like oh I like. that. I like that attitude. Oh, okay. So, she calls a member of the weight. staff and she goes like, "This guy is. going to be coming in. the compies food and drinks.". >> Oh, wow. >> And now in Estie's mind, I think she. thought I'll be coming in once a week. >> That's why the food and drink.
>> once EVERY TIME. BUT NOW I'M [laughter]. AN AFRICAN IN NEW YORK. I know no one. And you're offering FOOD. >> AND DRINKS. >> I WAS THERE EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. And so I would go sit. They bring my. food and my drink. I eat. She made she. made it's cardinal error cardinal. [laughter] error offering an African. free food. So I'm eating I'm eating and. then I see comedians come off and you. know I'm a writer. So when queen has. come off I give them not say maybe you. should change this maybe you should. change this. I give you know many. comedians and I give Louis a note cuz he.
had a joke where he had a punch line in. the middle and then when start talking. like talk over the laughter so I give. him a note and everyone loses their. minds. They go like, "Yo, there's this. African who gave Louis CK the Louis CK.". But I didn't see him as a Louis CK. I. saw him as a comedian. And now, cutting long story short, long story PASS. no cuz now I'm going to Trevor. I'm. going to MAKE YOU CUT. BUT DON'T CUT.
THERE'S NOTHING TO CUT because there's. no It's already a long story. So, you. haven't cut anything. >> Okay. [laughter] Okay. Okay. Okay. So, okay. So I'm now a permanent fixture at. the at the cellar. >> So then one day I come down, you know. the steps, the famous steps. >> And then I see Trevor. I see you. You. are preparing to go on. You're preparing. to go on stage. So I come and go like, "Oh, Trevor.". Oh, >> why? Then I go like, "Oh, I'm a big. fan." Then you know talk a bit cuz. Trevor is very polite. Oh, you mean?
Yeah. So then, so then he goes on stage. >> I've seen his polite. I mean, >> yeah. He will he will end you on it. So. then he comes back then goes like wait. cuz then when you going on you had your. jacket you were taking off your jacket. I'll hold it then you gave it to me then. you go on perform come back then I I go. like oh then I I think I tried to give. you a note or something like hey wait. are you the Ugandan guy are you like the. African African comedian then I go like. yeah I am then. >> said African twice. >> yes then no African African. >> then he goes like oh I've been receiving.
texts about you yeah are you the one who. gave Louis then I go I told him how to. change then you go like oh people have. been texting me like, "Yo, Trevor, there's an African African comedian. Forget you. This one SOUNDS LIKE AN. [laughter] AFRICAN AFRICAN.". So then we He goes like, "This one. sounds like Yes. Like he just jumped out. of like, you know, Coming to America, those movies." So then we go up and then. we start like. >> Is he still holding the jacket? >> No. No. I've given it back to him. Yeah. No, I'm not that kind.
>> Cuz Estie made that mistake. [laughter]. >> So then we go up and this was around. like 8 8:30. And then we just start. talking and we talked like I think up to. like five just talking about so live. comedy and then you went like oh this. was fun we should do it again. again critical mistake cuz I'm there. every night comes back the next night we. hang out and that's when you told me. about Dave you were like oh no I. contacted and dev thinks you're a cool. guy you're good guy you know we good.
people oh we should hang out and I feel. like that's when we started hang out and. then that's when we had the incident. with. New Brennan. >> Yeah. But pause there. So I'll I'll tell. you how this unfolded for me. >> Okay. So I was born away lad in South. Africa [laughter]. >> on a really rain really day. >> Ah they say that my mother turned to me. as I came out of her womb. [laughter]. >> No. [music].
>> This is from my side of the story. This. is what happened. >> Yeah. [music] I used to go to the comedy. seller all the time. I'm doing my thing. All of a sudden, I start getting texts. from random people. Yo, is this guy your. friend? Yo, who is this guy? Basically, every text it's basically, come get your. man's. [laughter]. >> That's what every text, the subtext is. >> There's an African at the comedy cellar. >> Is this yours? >> But they're saying it like they're. saying it like I have like. >> a portal. >> A portal and a responsibility. [laughter].
Every single person was like, hey, there's an African here. Is he waiting. for you? Is he here for you? Then I was. like, guys, do you know how big Africa. is? I like this is why we need to change. that map because you guys think this. guy's from my house or so. Anyway, people keep texting me. They keep. texting me. They keep texting me. The. day with Louis, I was actually there and. I saw this in person. I remember I. thought you were just some random. straggler who's hanging around. Louie. came off stage and then you accosted. Louis and you're like, "Ah, Louis." Then. you're like, "Ah, can I give you a. note?" No, I was thinking that that's a. punch line. I know. sounding like Hug.
>> Then you like [laughter] I don't know. who this guy No, I noticed there was a. punch line that you were uh No, there. was a moment that you missed. So I was. thinking that maybe you could uh then I. remember being like yo bro this is a. random audience member giving one of the. greatest comedians of our generation. notes. Who is this person? >> So basically you an observer at that. moment and you know he didn't even see. me. I was just like damn whoever that. guy was that's like I was just like this. is just craziness. You were Humpty. Dumpty in person.
>> I kept on moving. Kept on moving. Right. Then. >> we spoke that night. You're talking. about night. But before that, what. actually happened was Dave sent me a. message and he said something to the. effect of I could probably find it if I. looked in my WhatsApps cuz you can just. go back years. >> Do you mind saying it in Dave's voice? >> So, okay, I'll do it. So, then Dave. sends me a message, but I didn't hear. his voice in the message. So, that would. be fake. >> But you know it now. >> Yeah, but that would be fake. >> If if if I repeat something he said, I'll I'll do it. So sends me a message. and the message says, "Yo, there's a.
random Ugandan you're going to meet.". >> Random. >> No, really. He goes like, I'm. paraphrasing, but I think I'm going to. get it sort of right. He goes like, "There's a random Ugandan you're going. to meet. He's going to seem like the. most random person you've ever met, and. your first instinct will be to not speak. to him. [laughter]. >> Your first instinct will be to not speak. to him.". >> This is a growing. Your first instinct will be to not speak. to him. But I promise you, he's one of. the smartest human beings you've ever. met in your life. As smart as you think.
I am, he's 10 times more smart. He's. super funny. He knows everything about. comedy. >> Smart. >> You see, there you go. >> Not more. Okay. Yeah. >> So, there you go. You see? So, then he's. like, "So, please give him a chance. Talk to him. Hang out with him. He wants. to do comedy in America." And I told him. that he must speak to you. So, because. of Dave now, I go, "Oh, okay. You must. be. >> This guy is not random cuz Dave. introduces me to no one. And I mean no. one to him and then like one homeless.
guy. These are the only people that Dave. [laughter] has like which makes it two. homeless people. >> So the only people [laughter] that Dave. has ever like introduced me to. Okay. So. but the homeless guy came many years. later when I knew Dave, you were like. the first. So Dave doesn't do that. So. anyway, so I've got So that's how I make. contact with you. So I go like, "All. right, you've been. you've really been vetted or somebody. has vouched for you, >> so I have to I don't even know what the. deal is, but I was like, "I have to just. get to know you." And then he wasn't. wrong. I mean, within 10 minutes of.
hanging out with you. I was like, "This. is you're one of the weirdest person. You're like an alien who I I've always. told you this though. You're like an. alien because the way you see the world. and the way you operate in it is. alienike. it it you you you don't take. into account many of the um. many of the social norms that people. take into account. Like one day I. remember I was walking with you in a. park and we were we just finished. playing a game of soccer here in New. York and we're walking across the field. in the park and some people are playing.
baseball in one corner, other people are. doing sprints, other people are just. working out and we're walking back with. our bags and there was a family with. their babies and there's like one. >> baby [laughter] one ba baby and one. toddler. and the toddler came running in our. direction. >> It's a white family, white everything. and the toddler comes running in our. direction. I'm like what? I I'm just. like whatever. It's a child, >> Joe. And I remember seeing this in slow.
motion. [laughter]. >> Joe and drops kicks the baby. And I. remember seeing this in slow motion. [laughter]. >> I got to take that. Joe Joe runs Joe runs the kid runs. towards us. Joe runs towards the kid, grabs them, but this is like like a. movie where it's like the kid is like. Uncle Joe or something. >> Joe grabs the baby. >> baby. >> I am looking out of the corner of my eye. like this cuz this is all happening sort.
of in slow motion. So I'm like. [laughter]. don't touch the baby. Joe grabs the baby and then hoists. [snorts] the baby up and starts like. throwing the baby but like he's known. this like a family member. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. >> And Joe throws this baby up and he's. like, "Oh no, look at you. Ah, no baby.". And this B now as he grabbed the baby. from behind the baby another corner, I. see the parents.
>> Now you know this is happening in the. space of 7 seconds max. But you know how. fast your mind can process things in. those moments. I'm panicking. I see them. turn. They've just seen this guy. >> grabbing their child in a park hoisting. them. >> I see them turn. You see the look on. their faces like a [ __ ] It's happening. [laughter] This this African is adopting. baby. You see that? Like you I saw. >> he's reversing THE ROLES. THIS.
[laughter] IS NOW MY UNISAFE BABY. COME. HERE, UNICE, BABY. I'm going to give up. a CUP OF COFFEE EVERY DAY. [laughter]. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR dreams come true. >> So, I I see the panic in their eyes. So, I'm But before I can tell Joe, don't do. it. And I'm trying to almost tell them. >> he's okay. >> He's okay. It's too late. >> I'm trying to tell him that. >> And then the dad comes running in. You. can see he's like basically failed in. his life [laughter]. >> cuz he comes running in, but it's too. late cuz Joe has his baby.
and Joe takes the baby, [laughter]. throws the baby up, and then the baby. diffused the whole thing cuz the baby. had more fun in like those two seconds. I can't even explain it to you. And then. the dad came and just stood by us while. Joe just carried on. He didn't even go. like, "That's my baby." Or he just stood. there like, >> "I I I guess they know each other.". [laughter]. He was he was so thrown by what he had. experienced that he didn't know he.
didn't know what to do. And then the mom. came holding the the the the baby. So. the toddler's in Joe's arms, >> the she's holding the other baby and. they're just standing there like. >> they're standing there the way you would. stand if like a bear had grabbed your. child. >> from a crib camping. No one move. >> No one move but your child is and the. bear is just juggling your child. >> The bear is juggling your child and your. child's having a good time and no one no. one moved. And then Joe was just like, "Oh no. Oh no. Look at Oh, look at you. Oh no. Oh, look at pop. [laughter].
And then he put the baby down and the. baby was just like, "Yeah, baby." The. baby was ecstatic. That toddler was. ecstatic. And then the parents like. scooped the kid up. >> The people like. >> And then Yeah. Then the parents scooped. the kid up. >> He lives to fight another day. >> And looked at us like, "Hey.". And then they walked away. You could see. they were shocked and they felt like. they had escaped something. >> Unicef. And then Joe just carried on. what he was talking about before. He's. like, "No, so here's the thing. If we.
can press them, if the defense moves. forward next time, [laughter] we're. going to find it." Then I said, "Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe." Then I said, "Joe.". I said, "Joe, Joe, don't ever do that. again." [laughter]. No, but. >> I was like, "My man, my man, in America, a black man cannot go around grabbing. white people's babies." [laughter]. I was like, "Joe, don't do then." He's. like, "No, what? What do you mean?" Uh, what? What do you then? I said he's. like, "No, but the babies love it. They. love it when you throw." I was like, "Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, you just got.
I'll say this. I wouldn't trust my baby. with a guy with that accent. speaking the way.". >> No, but in their defense, they. saying. >> accent you're making. Yeah, >> that guy that guy [laughter] number one, >> but it and that was one of the first. moments where I was like, you cuz you. even saying it in the story. Nobody. would ever at the comedy cellar go up to. the comedian's table with SD and Louis C. and Aziz Ansari and Colin Jo and just. interrupt a convers and then also be.
like when they go like no you can't come. be like no let me tell you why I should. but also not in like an [ __ ] way. that's why I say you're like an alien. >> no but I'll say this so to the kid story. for me the reason it didn't stand out. till Trevor pointed it out was I would. do that with a kid in Uganda so I didn't. grow up with a. >> racial dynamics of America or South. African baby dynamics. >> No, no. I I cuz I know one THING ABOUT. BABIES. I'VE HAD like I haven't met. So. kids the thing I love with with kids is.
what you see is what you get. They're. not like adults. >> You have fun with them. They give. So I. had I had another experience like that. So I was No, no, no. I was at a park cuz. it's it's instinctive. [laughter]. Listen, I WAS AT A PARK. LISTEN, WE. DON'T KNOW THIS GUY. AT FBI AT STEVEN [laughter] MILLER. AT. >> TWO FAILED ATTEMPTED HUMAN TRAFFICKING. AT WHITE HOUSE, [laughter]. I'M OUT MY VISA. >> I DON'T WANT TO BE. >> I DON'T WANT TO be No, here's the.
[laughter] thing. So, we were at the. park. I was with a friend who has kids, you know, cut, right? You know, cut, right? And we we So, this kid, you know, we No, no, you know, you know, you go. with your friends who have kids with the. back. So, I'm pushing the kid. >> on the swing. >> You know this kid? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is my friend's. kid. And then there's a kid next. >> in on another swing who is being pushed. by a kid, a fellow kid. >> And so I'm pushing this kid and then the. other kid over pushes, over balances. The other kid falls. >> Yeah. >> And my instinct I immediately go and.
grab the kid and start kissing on the. forehead going, "Okay, it's okay. It's. okay." NO, NO, NO. I GOT A K. NO, cuz. the kid is crying. So the kid is crying. >> Oh [laughter] god. >> This is an annment. >> No, LISTEN. I FEEL LIKE WHAT ARE WE. DOING HERE? >> SO I'M [laughter]. LIKE, >> LISTEN. >> What are we do? WHAT AM I PART OF? I. FEEL LIKE THAT EPSTEIN TAPE WHERE THEY. LIKE YOU KNOW THESE KIDS. >> YEAH. >> So I'm asking I said. >> SO I'M DEPOSITION. >> SO I'M soothing the kid. I'M GOING TO. TAKE YOU with your KID IS CRYING. NO. GOOD. NO CUZ NO.
>> WE GOING TO JAIL. SO WHEN YOU HUG THE. KID LISTEN YOU'RE HUGGING the kid. [laughter] Listen. >> WE'RE GOING TO JAIL. I'M SORRY GUYS. >> Self incriminating. NO. NO. [laughter]. LISTEN. >> SELF. >> NO. SO I'M LIKE SO I'M GOING LIKE SO YOU. KNOW WHEN YOU'RE HUGGING THE KID AND THE. KID IS CRYING. >> NO. I'M LIKE, "HEY, HEY, I'M LIKE HEY to. camera. I've never had a stranger. I've. never sued them with their lip. >> BUT THE KID IS CRYING.". I'M SAYING I'M SAYING THAT'S WHAT I. would do to a kid in Uganda. I would go. like, "Hey, hey kid, there there's okay. You're brave. We have swings. Come on.
[laughter] We don't." SO I GO LIKE I GO. like there there, you know, it's okay. You're brave. You're a brave. You're a. brave little man. Don't worry. Don't. worry. And then the mom comes. >> and the mom, you know, she had the same. look of panic like, "Oh, what's this. stranger doing my with my kid?" But then. now the kid keeps quiet telling me. you're strong, you're brave. And then. and then mom goes like, "Oh, okay. Oh, thank you so much." Cuz the man I was. playing with another kid. >> Yes. >> She was like on the other side. >> The problem is having two kids. Yeah. >> I think just one child. >> So for me in my mind, it's the same. thing trouble we have with police. No, no, it's the same thing we have with.
policemen. When policemen stop us, the. way I talk to Okay. So again, another. story. When I came to America before I. met you, I had this friend who was from. Fielding. So one day we're going to. comedy club and we get lost in the. subway. Right. Yeah. >> So then he's going like, "Oh, he doesn't. know which train to take cuz he was from. Philly. I'm from Africa. We don't know. the thing." So I see subway cops. I said. like the cops in the subway. So I just. walk up to them and I go like, "Hey. guys, we are lost. So we train." And. then then this guy just keeps his. distance, my friend. And then I come.
back and tell him, "Oh, they said we. take the air. It will take us to the the. village." And so then he goes like, "Dude, what's happening?" Then I go. like, "Oh." Then he go, "Dude, you're. black. I'm black. We never approach. >> policemen like that. Then I like what do. you mean? Then he goes, they could have. shot you. Those interactions don't end. well. Then I go, then I told him, but. they're there to serve us. So I told. him, if they shot me, I'll die more out. of shock. I GO, [laughter] THESE GUYS. SUCK AT THEIR JOBS CUZ IN UGANDA, and.
Dave knows this, in Uganda, [laughter]. why did you shoot? You're shock. The. number one killer OF UGANDANS IN. AMERICA. [laughter]. YOU KNOW. SO, SO THIS THIS GUY WAS GOING. LIKE, I don't understand why would you. just approach a bunch of like but that's. what I would do in Uganda. If I'm lost, I would approach the policeman and go. like, hey, >> and he couldn't believe it. >> I'm just picturing this guy, a black guy. from Philly. Yes. >> And he just watched you approach the cop. >> very with swag as well.
>> Start kissing them and throwing them up. [laughter]. >> YOU ARE STRONG LITTLE SOLDIER. Then. you're like, I don't know what is which. way can we go? [laughter]. NO. SO, SO THE THING is when you when. you didn't grow up in the culture, >> but this is what but this is what I'm. trying to say. So, >> can I ask another question? >> Of course. >> Great. >> This is this [laughter] is what the show. is all about. We love the fans. >> Okay. Thank you. Please. the um one. interesting thing that Joe has I've. known you for like 12 13 years whatever.
it may be and I have never cuz you know. the um let me. this is a sort of like an anomaly kind. of situation that you guys have. described or he has described kissing. strangers babies. >> anomaly with context my. >> no I get the conting no I get the. context [laughter] though what I'm enter. this part kisses strangers bies. What. I'm saying is that the part that that. that I find the most interesting out of.
you, the most most interesting is that I've. known you for whatever it is 12, 13, 14. years, whatever it may be. And I've. spent a lot of time with you. And in all. that time that I have spent with you, I. have never for five minutes seen you. upset or in a bad mood. >> That's why I'm [clears throat] saying. he's an alien. No, I'm saying. So, could. you explain that? >> That's sort of it goes to the alien. thing, >> right?
>> Actions that people might um. >> might find themselves doing in a in a. certain setting. That can be cultural, you know. So, in one culture, people. hold pinky fingers. Men when they walk. in the streets, they hold pinky fingers. In another place that that happens all. over the world. >> So, that happens in India, in the Middle. East, even in parts of South Africa. Guys would do it. Yeah. >> Yeah. Never seen cousins. Never seen. cousins do that. Come on, dude. No. Come on. In Hamal,
guys would do that. No, they would. >> You've never seen that. >> You've never seen that. >> They do that. They do that. But that's. normal in a lot of places. >> You're saying that's cultural. >> Yeah. I'm saying that's normal in a lot. of places, right? But in other places, they'll go like, "That's crazy." Okay. >> So, this is these are cultural things. What Dave's hitting on here is is like. the evidence that makes it more likely. that you're an alien. Okay. And and that. and that evidence is what. >> alien from up there. Not alien like. Trump. >> No, no. Not Trump. Alien. Relax. No, no, no. Don't worry. Don't worry about that.
No, no, no, no. [snorts and clears throat] What I'm. saying is you Dave's right. I also have. never seen you depressed, sad, angry, all the like whatever we call. them like negative. And not in like a. fake way, by the way. I'm I'm not. talking like, oh, that person's always. in a good mood. Not like that. Not like. that cuz I've seen you pensive. I've. seen you mourning somebody or something. bad that's happened. When my grandmother. passed away, you came over. It's not. like you were like, "Ah, grandmothers, who cares?" You were like, you know what.
I mean? You you cried like you were like. with me in the moment is what I mean. But I'm saying it's like a state of. being. I've never seen you like we've never. seen you. >> not positive. >> But you know why? >> Yeah. Why? >> Because I'm hashtag winning. You know. this. And I've told you this. is, you. know, the Trump speech where he goes. like, "You're going to win so much. You're going to start. >> We're going to be winning so much. You're going to be tired of winning. Tired of winning. So much winning.". >> Say, "Mr. President,
>> Mr. President, we're tired. We can't. take it anymore. We're tired of winning. So much winning. So much.". >> Think like I'm a Ugandan. Think about. it. I'm a Ugandan. >> Yeah. >> First of all, working legally in New. York. >> Yeah. >> But not just working legally. Working at. the daily show, >> right? How many Ugandans get to do that? For me, I've always been very. doesn't count. >> Kima is Ugandan light. >> So, [laughter]. no, I'm Uganda. Uganda. No. So, anyway,
the thing is I've always been hyper. aware. >> of how like I am like from and this is. way before the Daily Show. I've always. been being born in Africa, being born as. a guy in Africa as opposed to being born. a woman in Africa. >> Already you're winning. cuz a guy in. Africa has certain privileges and. uh he's given more leeway than a girl. So I've always been hyper aware of how. like I am, I've always been hyper aware. of my privilege so to speak. So when.
people complain about things, people get. you know when people complain about. things, oh this is not working out. I go. like my life everything is working out. Literally I walked into the comedy cell. got a chance to perform. I walked into. their show, got a chance to meet them. out of the blue. We became friends. Everything I feel like I've. I I'll put it like this. I don't like. sweat the little stuff if that makes. sense. So, for example, today you guys. came late [clears throat] for the.
podcast. What did you say first? Joe, we. are sorry we kept you. And in my mind, I'm like, why you apologizing? Remember. when we when we planned when we made a. plan. >> to watch El Classical? Dave, you were. there. We planned to watch El Classical. It was going to be at 2. Barcelona, Real. Madrid, biggest game in the world. I. turn up to your apartment 1:45. You guys come in at 4:00. [laughter]. Right. Right. You and De walk in at 4. This. game WAS SUPPOSED TO START AT TWO AND. TREV AND De walk in full of apologies.
And then I go like, "Why are you guys. apologizing?" Like, "Cuz other people. would be upset." Then Trevor tells me, "Oh, people will be upset because we. made a plan. You're supposed to watch.". Then like why though? Like why would I. be upset? Like you and Dave wanted to. watch the game. We planned to watch the. game but you didn't show up in on time. That means something more urgent came up. or you were held up. You are not hiding. somewhere around the corner going like. let's make Joe wait something else came. up and then go like but I don't but you.
know other people would be upset you. know maybe disrespected. >> Yes. >> Yes. Maybe maybe dis then I told him no. Why would I be that apology? >> Sorry. Sorry. >> So Trevor is going like, "Oh, other. people feel feel disrespected their. time." Then I like, "No, but it wasn't. my time. It was your time. You basically. >> you're the one who's not here.". >> Yeah. No, no. You [clears throat] You. lent me your time. It wasn't I I'm not. entitled to your time. You told me, "Let's meet at 2, >> but it wasn't my time. It was your time.
You just lent it to me, but I was. entitled to it." So then I go like, I. can't be upset. Let's The game The game. You recorded it? remember you went like, "Oh, I. >> so then we watched again. >> and then I was. >> cuz for me I don't understand why like. so something small like that. Let's say. I arrange a date with a girl and I I. don't turn up on time. She should be. upset. She should go like oh Joe wanted. to have this date. Joe wanted to have. this dinner with me but for some reason. he didn't. Something must have come up.". Instead of putting yourself first going. like me me I I got disrespected me this.
and that. Go like oh why did the other. person not? Because think about this. this way. If you plan a dinner date or. to watch a game and then you don't turn. up on time and then I find out you in an. accident. I don't get upset. >> Does that make sense? Cuz I stop putting. myself first. >> I stop going like, [clears throat] "Oh, me. Oh my god, are you okay? Were you?". Yeah. So for me, that's how I that's how. I look at most things. I don't sweat the. small things. I remember when I told you. about the relationship I have with my.
family, right? with my sisters and cuz. my my family my siblings have access to. all my money to my bank accounts. Remember. >> I told you this and then you went like. what what if. they stole the money now I'm lucky that. my family were very close in it but also. you went like but what if then like I. wouldn't sweat it. I genuinely wouldn't. because I would go like, "Oh, they know. they can ask me for the money. They know. they have access to the money. So, if. they stole it, that means they were so. desperate. Something must have come up,
right? And I would rather they steal my. money than go steal a stranger's money. Cuz if they steal a stranger's money, now it's courts, now it's prison, now. it's this, now my mom is stressed, my. dad is stressed, now they stole my. stress." Yeah. >> But if they. needed it. when we were in school, boarding school. in Uganda, people would go like, "Oh, like you know, leaving your suitcase. like the people like lock them and. everything." I go like, "No, why?
>> If someone someone can approach me and. ask me for something. >> if they feel the need to go and steal, >> which you know results in expulsion and. suspension, they needed that thing. They. really they need they need that thing. more than I needed it. >> Here's a question then. So. >> even in terms of okay, let's just say. okay that I can get conceptually but. then how do you deal with like being a. morning person? Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you're just in a bad mood. because you didn't get enough sleep.
>> I don't believe in the concept of so. much sleep. And Trevor knows this and. you know this as well cuz I go like I'm. winning so much at life. I don't want to sleep cuz if you're. sleeping then you're not winning. You're. just lying there. You're not actively. No, no, no. Sleeping is one of the only. activities where you're not actively. enjoying the thing. So when I'm watching. a soccer game, I go like, "Wow, this is. amazing." When I'm watching a Broadway. show, I go when I'm having a. conversation, I'm eating food, I go. like, "Oh, this is delicious. This is.
amazing." When I'm sleeping, I'm like. this glass. I'm not actively enjoying. the thing. Now I understand the benefit. of sleep. You're fresh and all this but. I'm going like for me sleeping is going. on social media. People who win are not on social media. cuz they're busy winning at life. They're busy enjoying life. Sleeping means me when I was young when. I was a bit you know in my teenage years. I like yo if I make it I'll watch every. show I'll watch every I'll read every.
book I will you know I'll do things. And. now I'm at that stage in my life where I. really could watch every show because. you're a member of the guild. They give. you all these screenings. I could read. every book cuz I'm in New York. I can. access them. The one thing I don't have. is time. I don't have enough time to do. it cuz I only have 24 hours in a day. >> So I want to spend a minimum of those. hours sleeping cuz sleep you as little. as possible. >> As little as possible cuz I have things. to do. I have I we we play soccer up to. two. I have things to do. So sleeping.
because it's one thing I don't actively. enjoy is one thing. So I sleep and. Trevor knows this. I sleep and you have. seen me. We've gone on vacation. Joe. sleeps. I sleep at most 3 hours a day. >> He has I I think you have that gene that. I I spoke to a um uh a doctor who works. in like gene editing. Uh and he told me. that there's some people who are. genetically predisposed to not needing. sleep. I think you're one of those. people cuz I've been with Remember we. went to the World Cup together. >> We've gone to Yeah. two world. [clears throat] cups actually.
You know, people can tell you who they. are all they want. When you spend almost. 24 hours a day with them over a certain. period of time, the cracks start to. show. I went with this guy. We went to. every game and then we went to events. afterwards and then in the morning we. did something else. And then this man. does not sleep and he's fine with it. Like 3 4 hours a night maximum. But more. than that, to Dave's point, even when we. couldn't get those hours sleep, I was. grumpy. I remember. [laughter].
>> What did you sound like when I was. grumpy? >> I remember. No, he would just refuse. We. went shooting and he just went ping up. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And we were we went. I have to get my beauty sleep. And I was. like, >> I never said beauty. >> Okay. Well, >> I never said it in your pawn. NOW YOU. SEE [laughter] NOW YOU SEE HOW I feel. when you do me. I GO LIKE, I DON'T SOUND. LIKE THAT. AND YOU'RE LIKE, "NO, JOE. SOUNDS LIKE THIS." THAT'S [laughter] HOW. THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS. THAT'S. EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS. >> For me, it's for me simple, Eugene. For.
me, this cuz I've explained it to Trevor. and he tried it and he had he had a. terrible time. So for me, the way you. look at sleep is a go, right? I'm up. I'm up and then I go like, "Oh crap, it's two. Ah, I have work tomorrow. Okay, I can squeeze in two more hours at. least. Okay, two more hours of doing fun. stuff." Then I go I have good sleep. because I have function in the same way. you eat food. Some people don't enjoy. food but they eat it because they need. for sustenance. So for me the why sleep. is I realize you don't enjoy sleep what.
you enjoy is the act of falling to. sleep. What you enjoy is the weirdest. promise. >> What you enjoy is the promise of sleep. >> This is the weirdest thing Joe does of. it. >> Yes. Just wait. Just wait. >> So for me I sleep 3 hours. >> The weirdest thing Joe does. >> I sleep. It's not weird at all. It makes. sense. I sleep. >> Tell the people what you do. >> But every other hour. Every hour I set. an alarm. >> Every hour. >> Yes. So I go to bed at 4. Set an alarm. for 5. Set an alarm for 6. Set an alarm.
for 7:00. So I wake up every hour. >> Dave, stop sniggering. >> Like you're in maximum security. >> Yeah. No. No. Listen. So I wake up. So. at when I wake up at 4:00, at 5 rather, I go like, "Oh my god, I have to go to. work." Right? Then I go like, "Oh no, I. still have two more hours." You know. that FEELING WHEN YOUR ALARM that feel. the promise of Muslim. So I have that. feeling. >> Reset your excitement. So I I I simulate. that. So I have two more hours. >> So then I enjoy the. >> process of going back to sleep. Then I.
wake up an hour later. I go like, oh. man, I didn't I have to go. THEN I GO, OH MY GOD, I HAVE ANOTHER HOUR. >> RIGHT. >> YEAH. >> Then I go back to sleep. >> Then I wake up. Now I'm enjoying sleep. I'm actively enjoying it. >> Then by the time I feel I think this why. it works. By the time I wake up to. actually I really wake up to actually go. to work. I feel like I've had more sleep. than I was supposed to have. >> Yeah. You It's not strange at all cuz. some people strange it's not. >> Let's say you know that today you're. going to need $200. There's people who.
withdraw $1,000 and every time they. spend they still have a lot left. >> cuz you think, "Oh, I've used up the. 200.". >> Instead of imaginary, >> I've got to have 800. >> Yes. Yes. I I understand this. But where. the analogy falls apart is there's no. REM and deep sleep in your wallets. I'm. saying the thing you are doing these are. white American things. This is alien my. friend. No this is human being things. But also remember. you know this remember I'm the one guy. who. >> I tried this. >> You remember I tried this. >> No but you have to build up with this. >> Yo build up to what?
>> Yes. I've done this since I've done this. since I was a teenager when you. boarding. >> Do not try this. Whoever you are at home. do not try this. >> Also at home I would like to reiterate. that this is true. You know, you often. probably watch a lot of podcasts and a. lot of information where people are. doing tell you about the research that. they did on sleep. You know, the. research that they did on happiness, the. research that they This is the this is. real. This is. >> because he's answered your guys. questions where you said, "How do you.
maintain such happiness?" And you've. never seen him there. He's told you. >> No, but that's I wouldn't recommend. that. >> But this this isn't something that. people could recommend. No, no, no. But. what I'm saying is what he's saying is. he's built up the muscle. >> No, I get that. But I'm saying you can't. build up that muscle no matter who you. are. >> Yes. >> You can't. >> What do you mean? >> No, no, no, no. Let me Okay, let's break. it into two parts. There's one part. which is how you perceive life. >> The other part is physiological. You. can't I don't drink water because I. think water. >> No, I drink just enough water for. sustenance. >> Yes. But what I'm saying is I'm saying.
most human beings on this planet most. are unable to sleep for 3 hours a day. and function. It it just it's just you. can't do it cuz they want to sleep all. three hours in one. >> Yeah, but there's people in war zones. who do it. >> Yeah. But they don't come out right. Remember remember the ability remember. the ability to do something. It's like. some people who have a greater lung. capacity like uh what's his name? The. swimmer. Michael Phelps, >> right? Produces less lactic acid than. the average human. So it's genetic. So. when you are doing something that's.
genetic, >> you sort of can't people you can't give. people advice on that thing because they. can't do it. Like if Michael Phelps says. you well what I do is I just don't make. as much lactic acid and then my muscles. don't burn. >> For me the big thing but can I tell you. why you no [laughter]. how do you account. but that's separate. >> Okay. So can I tell you how how for me. it came up and it came up by accident. almost. So when we were in boarding. school in Uganda remember boarding. school is like military. >> Can I tell you how I thought it came up. before? I thought the way I thought it. came up is because you're from Uganda.
which is a poor country. You thought you. had to pay for sleep and so you could. only afford. >> unbeliev That's why I said these Uganda. slandering our country. No. >> So here's okay. No, here's the thing. So. So when we were in boarding school, >> remember it was like military, it was. like prison, right? So you have to go. study, do this, everything is like. prison. So the only time we had was cuz. we used to go for prep which is like you. study after hours like so we would go. for prep from 7 to cuz you spend the. whole day studying studying now you have.
to read do self reading so we go for. prep from 7 to 9 then we would come out. then now you have to go and prepare to. go to bed and because I loved soccer so. much and I loved sports so much. >> we used to wait for midnight to listen. to BBC sports on radio which was illegal. because you couldn't bring in a radio. but we found a way so BBC sports was. like that was our me and a group of. other football like soccer loving guys. So I would listen to BB Sports to hear. the round up of the news. What happened. in the Premier League, what happened in. the Champions League. Then from it would.
end at around midnight 30. Then from. midnight 30, everyone else is sleeping. Midnight 30 to like 3 now we discussing. what happened. Do you know soccer like. you discuss? So discussing discussing. discussing this was our moment where we. went like oh now we're in control of our. moment and then we go to bed at around. 4:00 then you have to wake up at 6:00. >> and we used to do this cuz BBC Sports. was there every day. >> Yeah. >> And we used to do this every day. Now I. don't know whether the other guys kept. it up. >> They are dead probably. [laughter]. >> Yes. But the thing is you guys were able.
to do it as a group. Yes. >> So that's conditioning. >> I think you're not hearing what I'm. saying. I'm not disputing the merits of. conditioning. It is possible for a human. being to do things that they couldn't do. before by doing something repeatedly. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying. there is an extra element that now. creates what we call the super athlete. or the there'll be people who have. memories that are outsized. There are. people who will be able to jump or run. faster because their muscles twitch in a.
different way. So, I'm saying you have. that for sleep. But what's more. impressive to me, because genes are. genes, you don't choose them. What's. more impressive to me, and I think it's. to what Dave was alluding to, is. you see, you you dismissed it very. quickly as like I have a positive. attitude because my life's going well. I. work at the Daily Show and I live in. America and I I got to do Yeah. But I'm. like, but you've constantly taken that. framing even when the winning is not. apparent. Does that make sense? So now.
it seems obvious because you work at the. Daily Show and now it seems obvious. because you work in New York and you're. in America and you So then it's like, "Oh, that's like an obvious." But if I. took the Daily Show away from you, >> it would affect me cuz Yeah, I was me. without the Daily Show. >> You see? So you'd go like, "Ah, man, I'm. still winning." Then I go like, "Okay, and I'll kick you out of America.". >> I would go like, "I was job before. America.". >> There you go. You see, you're still. winning. Then I go like, "Okay, you also. can't travel the world. I'm going to. kick you back to Uganda.". >> I was happy in Uganda. No. Okay. No, but.
this wait this is this is what I'm. trying to show you. So I go like I'm. going to take that away from you. I'm. also going to take away all the money. you've earned in your life. >> I was happy when I had no money. >> There you go. Do you see what I'm. saying? So this is like what I'm trying. to get to and this is what this is. what's always fascinated me about you as. a person. You've helped by the way. you've helped me I've even told you. you've helped me with this tremendously. because before I met you I used to. succumb to the idea of a failure or a. sadness that I had imposed on myself. One of my one of my favorite memories, this this is one this was the first time.
you did it to me was we were walking. home from the Daily Show and we had just. started. We were like a few months in. It was a Friday afternoon. We're walking. down 11th Avenue in New York. Traffic is. backed up. So, it's bumper to bumper. Everyone is there honking away. Cars. going crazy. I don't hear any of this. The only thing I can hear in my head is. the fact that we're having a terrible. time at the show. >> because the ratings are bad. John. Stewart has death left. We've lost 30%.
of the viewers. Things were terrible. It's like, man, are we ever going to be. able to make this work? Here we are. Some random Africans. I'm hosting the. show to Americans. I sound like Joe. Do. you know what I mean? So, I'm there on. TV and I'm like, "Ah, welcome to the. Daily Show." Ah, can you believe it? We. used to get hate mail because people. would say like why do I say. >> um they would say like why do I say like. words incorrectly. >> like aluminum? >> Yeah, not just aluminum. >> Yeah. But that's like an obvious. controversy. >> Oh yeah. Controversy and controversy. because cuz Americans say which one do.
they used to go like why do you say it. again? >> And I was like but that's not how we say. it. We would get letters. >> how can this person host the show when. they don't even know the correct way to. pronounce. So so all these things are. piling on. All these things are piling. on. So we walk out of the building. It's. a Friday, so we haven't done a show and. we're walking down the street and man, I. like I'm just feeling it. I'm feeling. it. And the reason I'll never forget it. is because around the same time Leslie. Jones had just done Ghostbusters, right?
And so it was the all female reboot of. Ghostbusters. and she was getting a lot of hate online. and people were saying terrible things. about her, you know, cool. all of this. that that was happening at exactly the. same time. So, [snorts] we're walking. out of the building. It's me and Joe. Joe is Joe, his chipper normal self. So, it's Joe on one side, cars on the other. side. And then. as we walk past the block of the Daily.
Show, there was a woman in a BMW. It was. a drop top. >> Yeah. >> But like one of the one of the old. additions, maybe like a 3 series, but. like maybe a decade back. and she honks. and she goes, "Oh my god." Hey, Trevor, I love you. I love the Daily Show. Yeah. I was like, "Ah, thank you. Thank you. very much.". >> And I put my Yes. >> I put my head down and I carried on, >> right? And I carried on what I was. saying to Joe and I was like, "Man, >> this is so hard and I don't know if. we're ever going to crack this and you.
know, it's it it feels like we're not. getting anywhere and like ah man, people. don't like us just because of who we are. and how do we how do we figure this out. and this is such a hard journey?" And. then she says that and I acknowledged. her and then I carried on walking and. I'll never forget Joe stopped me like. just before the end of the block cuz I I. carried on like as I was saying you know. it's so terrible it's so this. Then Joe. was like Joe's like what are you doing? I was like what do you mean? He's like. what are you what are you doing? I said what do you mean what am I doing?
He said are you are you winning or. losing in life? I was like well right right right now. I'm losing. Then he's like you're. losing. Then he's like, "I'll never. forget you turned, you stopped me, and. you're like, oh my god, you're losing.". Then then you're like, you're like, Trevor, there was a woman in a BMW drop top. screaming that she loves your show. No. one paid her. No one asked her to be. here. She told you this. He's like, "But. you're going to listen to the internet. Here's a real human being telling you. this to your face, but you're gonna.
listen to the internet." Then he's like, h, he's like, is this Leslie Jones? She's headlining a summer blockbuster. movie. She's achieved something that. most actors will never get to do in. their entire lives. But she's focusing. on the tweets. You two are the same. You're choosing your misery. You're. choosing to be unhappy despite the world. showing you every opportunity to choose. something else. Then he's like, "If. you're going to choose that, you can't. be my friend cuz I don't hang out with.
losers.". Then like. >> you know when someone speaks to you like. you're in a movie cuz I was like who. says that in real life? You can't be my. friend cuz I don't hang out with losers. Cuz And then Joe went in classic Joe. fashion. Joe was like he's like cuz he's. like cuz like he's like I don't know. about you but me I am hashtag winning. He's like if you cannot see that you're. hashtag winning. Ah then you should walk. away from the Daily Show. You must go. home because you are a loser not because. you're losing but because you have. chosen to lose.
No, >> you can make your choice. But I know. I've chosen mine. >> Cuz to take it back to me being a Ghana. and working here, the way the way I used. to think of it is how many comedians in. South Africa. would. change places with Trevor in an instant. if you told them they would host the. Daily Show and would Trevor be willing. to go back to South Africa and be the. comedian watching a South African. comedian headlining this important show? So for me the way I used to look at it. is the way you look at it.
>> Yeah. So Trevor had like there was one. blogger in salon salon who was always. hammering Trevor hammering like oh he's. not John Stewart this and this and and. Trevor you know of course you know. people on the internet and all this and. I used to go like but Trevor you have. 200 people who come into the studio. every day to watch your live show. People turned away. People turned away. the studio audience people turned away. There 200 people minimum who come every. day to watch you do a show. Why are you. worried about one blogger? Why are you.
worried about one voice on the internet? So for me, it's it's the thing I was. saying about focusing on things. Same. thing with Leslie Jones. You're opening. one of the biggest movies. You're a. black woman who has. >> you know the challenges of women and. comedy. You know challenges of black. women in life and comedy and you've made. it finally at 50, right? finally. crying and making.
if I were and I told you this. If I were. Leslie Jones, I would be like, "These. tweets are upsetting me so much. I'm. going to go and hang out with Tom Cruz. right now. [laughter]. I'm going to go and jump in a private. jet and go hang out with Smith. You've. worked so hard and now you're focusing. on things that shouldn't matter." And. for me, Trev, I think you. >> It's funny. I told you the story. You. know, you know, sometimes in life. things, I guess they just happen the way. they're supposed to. You said that to. me. I ended up at an SNL after party, >> which by the way, I think I've only been. to one in my life. It might be that one.
I've never been to another one. I've. never been bumped into Leslie Jones. And. I told her what you said. And I remember. she messaged me like a week or two after. and she's like, "Yo, I don't know who. that guy is, but thank you for changing. my whole perspective." Like it's but. that's what I mean is you don't you. don't get like. >> I think the way you put I I feel like. here's how to put it so you can compl. and I think you said it actually. >> you can do it [laughter] I'll tell you. I'll tell you on a small level how you. even do it.
>> we all love we all love football right. not you. >> but we all love football what is he. doing here then. >> so we all love football. >> witnessing a deposition clearly. >> and we watch we watch our we watch our. favorite teams we talk about the game or. my friends who support Man United now. are in such a doldrum of despair that. one of them in a group text said, "I don't know what to tell my son. anymore because I just bought him a Man. United shirt and when he asks me, daddy,
what's going wrong? I don't know what to. say. >> Child abuse.". >> And this was like his depression. And. like multiple people, many men you. they'll look at me and go, "Man, I don't. even want to talk about but like with. like a deep despair." And I think a lot. of football fans can can acknowledge. going through this in some way, shape, or form, right? You're a Barcelona fan. When Messi left Barcelona and when you. guys went through like one of the. biggest slumps, I remember coming to you.
and poking away. This man looked at me with a joy that. seemed honestly delusional and he went, "Oh man, rebuilding is going to be fun.". He's like, "Oh, you should see the kids. coming up in the academy." Mm m Oh, the. world that we're getting ready. Then I. was like, "Yeah, but you guys are. terrible." Then you're like, "Yeah, but. that means we're going to rebuild.". That's what Do you understand what I'm. trying to say right now? >> Yes. >> Because now that's not a for that's not.
a foregone. There is no guarantee that. Barcelona will get there. I always look. at it the same way when when we lost to. Liverpool, remember? >> Yes. >> I go like, "Oh, but it was a great. game." I don't cuz also soccer is. entertainment. So for me, the way and I. think you said it. I think I'm borrowing. from the thing you were doing at the. Daily Show. I felt the thing you're. doing at the daily show when everything. wasn't going great is you are. complaining and bitching about a bad. [ __ ] on your Ferrari. But you have a. Ferrari. How many other people would.
rather have because you can clean the. bad P off Ferrari. You clean up. Yes. >> Yeah. >> How many other people would go like I. would rather have that Ferrari with a. bad P. >> but at least I have a Ferrari. >> So people more many times people focus. on the bad pool instead of focusing on. the Ferrari. >> And for me I call it wasted stress. You. call it what? >> Wasted stress. Like wasted stress. So. when for example when I came to the. Daily show there was a writer who came. and told me she had been writing there. 7 years and she told me every day when.
they gave a script to write she thought. it was the last day at work she thought. you will write such a bad script you'll. get fired and I go like so wait you've. done this for seven years. >> every day of those seven years you. haven't enjoyed this experience at all. because you're stressed about losing. this thing and I was like No, I told her. no. If I lost the Daily Show, I would go. like, "Oh, thank God I'm going to get. the Daily Show better." I look at it the. way if if you dated Beyonce, you can.
either spend the whole time or if you're. married to Beyonce, you can either spend. the whole time worrying that Beyonce is. going to dump you or you can enjoy it. and go like, "Hey, if Beyonce dumps me, if Rihanna Rihanna dumps me, I'll get. something better than because I could. get Rihanna. Why do I think he's the. best I can get? that means I can get the. same or better. And so it's that I feel. like people spend and I think it's also. people do it because it's seen as a sign. of adulting like always worrying about.
stuff, always being anxious. And I don't. believe in that because my mom told me. >> you should never grow up. >> You should until you've grown up, you. should never grow up. And I like how. will I like you know, but don't grow up. cuz we always forced to grow up like. worried. In school, people always be. worried like you're a kid. Why are you. worried? Just enjoy this experience. again the day she remember um you hired. this producer and after two weeks she. had never said anything in the meeting. and she comes to me and she goes like yo. can I have a word and I went like oh.
what's up like how do you how come you. confidently. pitch jokes and text in a meeting yet. you have an accent. how come that doesn't like hold you back. cuz me every time I try to say something. I start second guessing myself oh is it. smart enough would I seem dumb or this. then I told I don't think about that. I. feel like I belong in the room because. I'm in the room. I don't feel any less. smart because of my accent. I feel So. then I told her it's like and again.
wrong analogy. I said I said it's like. being on Epstein's island. No one is. going around going like hey everyone. assumes you're a billionaire celebrity. and you belong. >> Was this the analogy you used then? >> I used I used analogy of like I used I. used Illuminati. This is I was were I. was feeling you. You were changing my. way of looking at the world. [laughter]. Belong in the room, you know. Then I'm. like, "Okay, cool. That one." Then this. guy. Wow. >> No, listen. So, I've updated it. But.
back then I said, "Illuminati." If. you're tell me the updated one then. So, what's the updated? >> So, if you're at Epstein's Island, bro, don't do that. Don't bring that. juju here, bro. >> Okay. Let me listen. there's a. billionaire's club, >> okay, >> and you show up, >> no one is going to go like, "Hey, let's. check." Everyone assumes you're a. billionaire because you're there. So, I. told this girl, the fact that you're a. daily show, everyone assumes you're. smart. >> So, you have the So, you have the. opposite of imposter syndrome is what. you're saying. >> Cuz I'm I don't understand imposter cuz.
I'm going like you can you might say. dumb stuff, but no one will assume. you're dumb because you're in the room. >> But what if they do assume you're dumb? >> They how why would they? >> No, but what if they do? >> And then I don't care cuz I don't care. what people think about me. >> Ah, there you go. I don't. >> Okay, now there you go. Now you're. getting the interesting thing. >> I've said this to like comedians when. they go on stage and they're nervous. I. like I don't care if I bomb cuz I know. I'm funny. I've made people laugh all my. life. >> If people So no, no. So this is actually. what I'm trying to get to. You see this. is this is now we've hit the nail on the. head actually. We go we've gone deeper. here.
>> You are How often would you say you buy. clothes? >> Never. My sisters buy me clothes, but. I've never gone shopping. >> Yes. >> And they only buy me clothes because. they use my credit card. So they're. guilty. So they go like, "Let's buy him. something. Let's give him something.". >> But you literally. >> Yeah. I've never. >> I've never ever ever heard you say the. phrase, "I'm going shopping or I'm going. to buy clothes." Ever. Ever. Ever. >> Doesn't interest me. >> Rolling with you. Anyone who knows you. knows you're notoriously the guy who. will be wearing like free t-shirts from.
like the local hardware store and local. real estate agencies. And like that's. you. And I remember one day saying to. you, this this is this is a crazy one. I. was going on a date one day and then Joe. and I walked back to the apartment. You. might have been there as well, but we. walked back to the apartment and then. Joe went. I was like, "Ah, let me go get changed.". Then Joe was like, "Change for what?" I. said, "I'm going to go to a date." And. then you went, "But you already. dressed." Then I said, "No, no. I'm. going to dress up for the date.".
And this broke your mind. Like I literally remember you going, "But but you you're dressed." Then I. said, "Yes, but I want to dress for the. date.". And then you basically said, "Why are you trying to appear. the way that you are not? Why not just. show up the way that you are?" And then. I was like, "Well, then but then you're. not putting your best foot forward." And. then you said something that has stuck.
with me forever. You basically said, "If. you're going to go on a date as your. best self, meet somebody as your best. self, have them fall in love with you as. your best self, and then turn into your. real self. How can you blame them when. they stop liking you? You like versus. showing up as your real self. with not your best clothes, with not. your best vibe, with not your best. energy, with not just you. Not terrible, just you." And then I said, "Yeah, but.
then what if they don't like you?" And. then you said, "Well, then they don't. like me." At least now I know that they. don't like me versus they like me for. who I'm not. And that's that's a weird. You don't understand how weird that is. on an alien level. That's what I'm. saying. Is. don't care is like the wrong phrase. sometimes cuz it makes it seem like cuz. you're a caring person. Do you get what. I'm saying? >> Yes. >> Like if someone said, "Joe, you make me. uncomfortable." You wouldn't be like, I. don't care what you think about me. That's not the same.
>> No, but that's the trap though cuz the. thing is normally when people go like I. don't care, the next logical progression of that is. they turn into jackasses. >> Yeah. So they turn into. >> maybe Trump people people take. So when. you when you have the ability not to. care, people abuse it. >> Does that make sense? So they got so. they got I don't care what anyone thinks. and they think that's a license. >> to be cruel, to be colorless, to be so. the the the trick is in avoiding that.
trap. You don't care about what people. say or what people think of you, but you. still care enough to be a civil human. being. >> Does that make sense? >> That's you don't care about what they. think. You care about what you think. >> Yes. What I think I have to be able to. look at myself in the mirror. So if I. went on a date and lied to a girl, not. lying, but if I dressed up or also I'm. putting too much stock in this guy, I'm. just meeting you. Why do I care that. much what you think? Why? And also like. if you don't come into my life, then. you're not in my you're not in my life. before. You're not in my life now.
>> Nothing has changed. >> It's like this quote where it says uh if. you care so much about what people. think, you'd actually be surprised at. how much how little they think of you. >> Yeah. I literally used to tell this to. my mom used to tell me. Hey, why are you. going out like that? People tell me this. at the daily show because remember when. you told me Trevor always invites me to. raid his wardrobe. >> Come and get cuz we have the same shoe. size and all that. Come and get whatever. you want. And he invited me and I just. took out one pair of sneakers and like. yo that's all you've seen his house full.
of sneakers. >> No, I've never. >> Then I went I'll just take one pair of. never why would I just No, cuz he's. never invited you cuz you don't have the. same body type. >> [laughter]. >> So, here's the thing. So, he invites me. He goes like, "You're only taking one.". Then I like, "Yeah, one is enough.". >> Mhm. >> And I've been wearing the same remember. when you were like, "You're still. putting on the same shoe every day." I. like, "Yeah, cuz I don't have to wake up. and think about what I'm going to dress. up. I know what I'm going to dress up in. cuz the shoe is there." And so for me, the way I look at it is this is this. output is like this. I have so much.
aura. I don't need to add aura. I need. to [laughter] give Trevor a chance cuz. if I added too much aura now with. clothes and how I look and this Trevor. has my chance. I have So when you have. status, you don't need to put on status. symbols. >> I don't I don't need to wear a watch. I. don't need to drive the latest car. I'm. enough if that makes sense. So to the. point of. I don't care what people think. So my mom used to go like how are you. going to get out dressed to the point. you were making? Why would you go out.
dressed like that? And I what what will. people think or like yo you put on that. yesterday, you put on that shoe. yesterday or you put on that coat. yesterday, people would think you're. rebounding the clothes. And I then I. used to if someone loves me so much, they notice what I put on yesterday and. today, then they such big fans, I. shouldn't really care what they think. They already such big fans cuz I don't. notice what people wear. I literally. don't. I don't wear what I don't notice. what if if people I don't notice if you. look different, if you change your. hairstyle that much. I just go like,
"Oh, I'm not bamboozled by the what you. are. I like who you are." So, it's the. same thing. You know, I have no formal, you know, I'm not. >> Yeah, you're a formal list. >> I'm a formal and apart from when Oh, which book would I read? We did this. Remember when you had when you taped. your special, Netflix special? Yeah. >> And we went back to your place. >> and we had like a small gathering, you. friends, and we're having a great time. It was a Saturday. I remember having an. amazing time, you know, small party of. close people were having fun, were.
talking and all this. And then around. 2:00 a.m. you received a phone call from. Dave Chappelle and he was like, "Okay, I'm at the SNL after party and Solange. is performing.". >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yes. >> That was when Beyonce and. >> So then De Chappelle goes like, "Solange. is performing or performed. So Beyonce. and Gaza are here. Do you want to come. through?" And then you turned to. everyone and you were like guys Beyonce. de Chappelle Solange JZ and should we.
hit it and everyone like hell yeah and I. was like I'm not leaving cuz I like we. have a good thing going here this thing. is amazing everyone was vibing having a. great time then everyone goes like. as we were bouncing Joe you're crazy. apart from the people I was talking to. who we were having a great time there. were like two girls and you know and. we're having a great time so you guys. bounce we because you are having a great. time having a great time and then you. guys come back [laughter]. 45 an hour 45 minutes an hour later and.
you go like yo Joe it was dead out there. so I never have that thing of oh what's. is a grass greener and this and no I. just. I just love being in the moment enjoying. the thing and so to that to that to that. point I've never seen the I've never. seen the I've never had the urge to. value [music] add. >> to So, >> don't press anything. We've got more. What now after [music] this?
[music]. Can I have one more question? The um speaking of alien things, how. many what would how many cruises would. you say you've been on? >> Too many to count. Too many that I have. a personal cruise consultant. >> Yeah, we we have to like give this. context. So, there's one thing that Joe. loves more than anything in the world. That's football. If if I was to put in. order, I would say family,
football, and then in third place, cruise ships. >> Very close to that. >> This man loves going on a cruise ship. more than any human being I've ever met. in my life. If you've been on a cruise. ship, you've probably been on it with. this man. >> Just give a number just to so. >> No, cuz I try to go every break we have. Okay. And at the daily show, we have. >> a bunch of breaks. We just had one, five.
weeks. No, no, no. We have like two. weeks off. So, we just came off a month. We call the one big beautiful break. >> Okay. >> So, I try to go cuz I come from a. landlocked country. >> Just tell us the number. >> We're not the number. So I've been on. probably. wow more than 25 more than 20 more than. more than and I think that's. underestimating it. >> also the the time they started this is. not your whole life. >> Yeah. No no I started in 2016. >> Yeah. >> Going on cruises. >> Yes. >> How did you discover cruise? Did you. watch Love Boat?
>> No cuz I just we have like the Daily. Show. Right next to Daily Show there's a. cruise ship terminal. >> Yes. >> And I've always there's also a hustler. strip club. >> and. >> but you got into one and not the other. No. Okay. Can we just One second. Pause. I just need Sorry. This is might be a. waste of time. I just need everybody. >> No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm saying I. JUST NEED EVERYONE to [laughter] just. No, no. I'm not saying me. I'm saying. I'd like this to I'd like people to take. a moment and just do this.
>> Think of when 2016 was. It was recently. >> And there was also the pandemic. >> Yeah. Just think of And there's a. pandemic minus. So that's minus. So. let's move that to 2019. >> Yeah. Okay, >> let's move it to 2019. Think of what a. cruise is. You've got in your head. There's a ship, there's passengers, there's the whole. setting a sail. >> Shrimp shrimp buffet. >> Shrimp. [laughter]. Okay. Now, if someone says. >> deileled eggs,
>> I've been in the last 6 years on 25. cruises and I'm not a cruise worker, >> not a captain of a ship. [laughter] I'm. I've been the captain though. >> I am the captain. Now. >> that [laughter] I I'VE BEEN THE CAPTAIN. NOW. >> That would require in the way you're. saying there's a certain happiness, you. know, like why is happy? The questions. you've been asking, you know, that would. require some deep analysis. Do you know. what I mean? It's a it's not a simple. thing that you.
>> like. So what what what is it? >> Okay. So, one quick thing is when you. have a Ugandan passport, [clears throat]. >> every airport you go to, you're almost. taken to a corner randomly just for some. questions. A cruise, you can move to multiple. countries while avoiding that hassle of. waiting at the airport, being taken out. of line, having to apply for visas. Cuz. some cruises, most cruisers actually. are, if you're on a cruise ship, you. don't need a visa cuz they expect you to.
come back on. >> Yes. So, it's a very. efficient and great way to travel to. different countries without the hassle. >> But also, >> I come from a landlocked country. We've. never I never encountered big waters. like that. We have a lake, we have a. river, but that's it. >> Yeah. >> So, when I came, I went like, "Oh, this. is amazing. This and then I also don't. like you know this about me. I don't. like the minor stresses of thinking. about food and this and a cruise ship. basically. >> it's like a kindergarten but for. travelers everything is catered for.
>> food is there you know or you don't have. to think of things oh now I have to go. oh where can I find restaurants and all. this and all that so I like that but. I've been to so many to dev's question. that. >> I've been invited many times to go meet. the captain. >> cuz you know when you're a frequent. traveler so to speak they hold sailor. >> yeah sailor so they hold a reception for. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, >> hold on. >> Yes. >> So, when you're a frequent sailor, >> Yes. >> they give you a special hat and a. special reception and then you go in,
you know, you get to meet. >> They put you out of the line still. >> Yes. Yeah. You know, they Yeah. They. they hold like a thing. >> They help you. Yes. >> No. No. They go like, "We have a thing. We're going to meet the deck people. you. know. >> So then you So then the first one the. first one I went to. >> it was like a captain. >> his crew and then the passengers had. been brought were like all white and. old. >> Yeah. Cruise pass. >> Very old. Like cuz they had been over. the course of their years. >> Yeah. Because they had been on 10. cruises in their lifetime.
>> Yes. >> Which is like that's now you are you are. like super VIP cuz they were like in. your lifetime you've been on 10 cruises. Meanwhile, here's Joseph. Then I turned. up 3 years in 12 cruises deep. >> I turned up and they went like and. because of probably the way I was. dressed cuz it was cocktail but I was. dressed the WAY I WANT AND I think they. went like oh this must be one of the you. know workers. Oh yes. So so so I turn. Yeah. Exactly. [laughter] So pirates. raiding the ship. So I turn up and then.
I was the only black guy there. One I. was the only guy under 40. And so they go like, "Whoa, so how did. you end up?" They were they were really. surprised like every chance I get, every. chance I get. >> So for me, I do this and I do this with. food as well. If I find something I. enjoy, I do that thing and I I would do. it. I won't try to like venture out. You. don't value it. Yeah. Same same thing. with like when I eat when I when I go.
out with you, I eat the same Indian food. every time. >> Yeah. >> And you sometimes go like, "Oh, do you. try?" I go, "No, but I found the thing. that I like." Yeah. >> So why should I try to a. when when the way I was brought up cuz. my mom again to go back to her. So my. mom taught me like certain things. One. of the biggest lessons she gave me I. remember one of the biggest lessons and. she doesn't even remember it cuz mothers. are like that. They say things and they. don't think about them. So when we were. teenagers,
you know, you start sneaking around, boys start sneaking around with girls, you know, corners around. Yeah. And my. mom, I remember, told me, and I was too. young to even think about girls like. that. And he was like, "Hey, if you ever. want to get a girl, please don't be like. these friends of yours who we see at the. side of gates, you know, in dark. corners. Bring the girl home. Bring the. girl home and let's meet her." And so. she told me, "Whatever decision you. make, it should always be for you." H. that makes sense. [clears throat]. >> Whatever show, you can if you want to do.
drugs, if you want to rob a bank, if you. want to beat up teachers, do it for you. >> I'll back you 100% of the way. The only. thing I never want you to do is to try. to pass the blame. So when you're like. sewing, sewing, sewing, when the ripping. comes, I don't want you to go like, "Oh, I was peer pressured by my friends. >> to smoke or to do this or to do that.". >> You have to own everything. So when when. the consequences come, I want you to go.
like, "Okay, I knew this was was. coming." So when I go like, "Oh, I love. cruises." And people like, "Oh, people. laugh." I go like, "No, but I'm. comfortable with my choice.". >> We don't laugh. We're fascinated. Okay. No, people are fascinated. Yes. Yeah. No, but I'm I'm going to. >> I don't laugh at you. I laugh cuz it's. cuz it's a crazy thing. >> No. So I go like every decision I make. If you told me, "Hey, let's go. JZ and be and these people, I'll go. like, "Okay, now I won't go." So I won't. have form. I won't regret. So everything. >> you turned down a trip that we were. going to go on once because there was a. football tournament on TV. Then Joe was.
like, "No, thank you." Then I was like, "Joe, we're going to go travel. We're. going to go to Costa Rica on." Then he. was like, >> "Uh" he's like, "Are they going to have. all the games?". >> I was like, "It's Costa Rica." He's. like, "Yeah, but I'm not interested in. Costa Rica. I'm interested in the what. tournament was it?". >> Confederate cup. It was the Confed cup. Not the World Cup. >> The Confed Cup. Joe was like, "Ah, you. guys will have to miss me cuz I have. three games a day." Oh, man. Enjoy your. trip to Costa Rica. Let me ask you, let. me ask you this before we let you go. Um.
cuz I haven't seen you in in a few weeks. now. >> What is happening in Uganda that like. Trump is deporting people to Uganda? Like why is like Uganda the threat? What. do we not know about Uganda that that's. become like the. >> Well, for starters, we gave you Zoran. Mudani. >> Yeah. >> In Trump's book, that's already. [laughter] the original sin. No, I'll. put like So I went I went back to Uganda. during the one big beautiful break. I. went back home. >> Yeah. >> And first of all, I thought and I was.
thinking this cuz I had to come back. So. I came back and I was thinking Trump. must have been so happy to see me go cuz. he must have been like they selfporting. now back to Uganda and then I surprised. him and came back and that's why he died. and then rose again. [laughter] But. I thought they WERE GONE BUT NOW THEY'RE. sleeping back. No. Uganda is funny in. that. I think it's a Uganda is a huge ally of. the United States. >> Yeah, >> funny enough. Like we help them in. Somalia cuz our troops are in Somalia. >> pursuing American interests.
>> and Uganda is a poor country. So money. exchanges hands obviously. So I think. Trump like made a deal with the Ugandan. government to take these like people he. wants to deport. >> Yeah. >> Ronda made the same deal funny enough. with Britain. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So they didn't make this deal. >> You know, you know what the deal? Wait, but what is the deal? Is the deal that. they're going to go to a prison in. Uganda? >> No. No. Cuz they literally said to one. of the people, they said, "You have two. choices.". >> Yeah. They said you have two choices. You can go to prison or you can go to.
Uganda. Then I went, I know Uganda. I. know people from Uganda. What am I. missing that your punishment is Uganda? >> No, but I'll say this. All jokes aside, Uganda is a veryospitable country. So we. have we have But here's the thing. We. have one of the most No, but I I don't. mean hospitalitable like the way you. think about it. We have one of the. biggest when it comes to taking in. refugees. >> Yeah, >> we are one of the biggest, probably the. biggest country. >> We taking refugees from the Congo. We. taking refugees from Sudan. We took in. Nelson Mandela and the activists. We.
always are very welcoming. We took in. people from Afghanistan. >> Even if one of the writers at the show. made a joke that they they would show up. and go like, >> "We thought we had it bad. We need to go. back." But the thing is Ugandans are. very welcoming. We are very we taking. refugees like by the millions. We don't. have we taking itrians. We taking we. don't have like the. >> what do we say xenophobia. We don't go. like oh. >> that's a South African in Africa like. >> No, but even America has. >> Yeah. But I'm saying like Yeah. >> No, Ugandans are very and I think it's.
it's because of because remember Uganda. is also the only country I think in. Africa which wasn't colonized. We were a protectorate. We basically. invited the British over. We went, "Okay. guys, come." And then howositable. >> Yes. And then they went like, "But we're. colonizing Kenya." And went like then. like, "Okay, this is going to be a. situationship." And we didn't even. fight. We never fought for independence. They went like, "We're bouncing. This. whole colonial project is not working. We're bouncing." And we're like, "Okay, bye-bye. We We are not that kind of.
people." Ugandans are very chill people, veryospitable, very nice people. I don't know what. happened with Dave but very probably. South Africa but no very very so we. >> we are open to people coming in we are. very open and Uganda funny enough and. I'll think about this with Zoran Uganda. always finds itself such a small country. we find ourselves always. >> at the like. I think we we always find ourselves in. like historic moments getting like the.
nexus of things that are happening yeah. so for a small country so I was telling. I was telling I was telling a Jewish. friend. I've told you've seen me tell. this to Jewish friends. I can never be. anti-semitic. >> I can I can never be because we offered. them. the Jews in before they went to. Palestine. >> Yeah. >> They were supposed to come to Uganda. The British literally told them you can. go to Uganda. >> This was post World War II. >> Yeah. Post World War II. Israel could. have been in Uganda. >> I could have been the Palestinian, you. know, activist. So they they were.
actually this close to coming when the. car. Sorry. No, Uganda is very fatile, very nice place. And they go in the. desert. So then they go to Palestine. Another moment of Uganda being like in a. weird global flash point. They they they. hijack this plane. They fly all over the. world. No one wants to take in a. hijacked plane. >> Idiamin goes like I'll have them let. them come and refuel cuz Idiamin was. Muslim and he he identified with the. Palestinian cause. So they come in. >> and this I'm telling this story is going. to become apparent in in a short time. So they come in and then you've heard of.
the movie Radon and. >> Radon is when the Israeli like commandos. came to rescue the Israeli. >> right. >> people were host on the plane. >> So they come in. and guess who was leading that mission? >> Zan. >> No Benjamin Bib whose brother. >> Wow. >> He was the commander. He led that. mission. And so they come and rescue the. hostages, kill the Palestinian. terrorists and all that. And then as. they are leaving, a Ugandan sniper takes.
out the commander. of the Israel commandos. >> Yo, what? >> He takes out BB Netanyahu's brother. And. that's the incident that when you read. BB Netanyahu's book, that's the incident. that radicalized him. >> That's his villain villain story. >> That's his origin story. >> That's his origin story. His brother was. killed in Uganda. cuz he had come to rescue. The movie is. this is a very huge if you talk about if. you talk to Jews if you talk to Jews.
this is a very big historical moment in. their life the raid onbe. and now after all that now Zoran is. causing chaos. >> where is he from Uganda for such a small. country we always. so now and then next thing you hear. Trump most people don't know this the. story about Uganda Uganda was supposed. to be the next Palestine it's I think it. came down to one vote. the Zionist, you know, league sat and. they went like, "Nope, we want to go to.
the country were promised and all that, but. >> Uganda because the British controlled. Uganda." So they were going to go. And. then now you have this and then BB. Netanyahu. So all this Bibet like the. pain he has, the radicalization, the. monster he has become is all because his. brother, his oldest brother. You can. imagine how like damn. >> Yes. >> Damn Uganda, huh? You're not going to. believe this. It's almost like squad fish. [laughter].
Oh my goodness. >> Eugene is like what's happening right. now? >> But also like but also like look at the. story we have with South Africa. >> Yeah. >> The story we have most of the activists. were in Uganda like during the South. because the South and Central countries. >> South and Central African countries used. to sell them out. >> to the apatite government. Yeah. And the. only country because such a president is. such af.
>> you know what you're explaining about uh. Uganda is so interesting. You know the story about how the French. became the French. >> No. >> So during the you. >> weren't born like that. [laughter]. During the Roman Empire machine rolling. out in Europe, there was a small. Germanic tribe that told the Romans that. you nobody do that with us. We're going. to self-determine. We're going to tell. ourselves what to do. They became the. French. >> Oh, okay. >> Oh, this is the asterisk and obllex.
basically, right? The. >> Yeah. And then that's why when you speak. your mind, they say you're being frank. >> Oh. >> And and that's why the term franchising. came from when you run your own little. operation within a big operation. Franchise. So Africa is Franks. and. franchise is is Uganda. They were able. to self-determine a lot of things and. they were able to tell the big rolling. out um machine which is was the British. colonizers that hold on hold on we're. going to do it our way and that way no. one ever wanted to do anything.
>> to them. >> Yes. I I always go the way the way I. think about it is I think Uganda is like. the forest gump of like international. global relations. We [laughter] always. like in the middle of things but we're. so small dumped in puss and boots. You. were there when every fairy tale was. coming to an end. You like Yes. >> Mhm. >> But. >> I also think we're very lucky country. I. think the thing you were saying or the. thing Dev was asking about how I'm why. I'm always happy. I think I'm a lucky I. think I think I'm a lucky guy. I. genuinely think. >> like it's not a competition but I think.
I'm one of the luckiest guys in the. world. everything like you know. everything I've done you know like you. know my story like. >> leaving law you know I had I was a. lawyer to become a comedian in Uganda. where there's no comedy ending up in New. York meeting you said this you said this. I remember you told me cuz here's a. funny story so we start work we hung out. with Trevor we start working together. you know he starts he goes like oh you. know I like your ideas let's work. together then you know I get to meet his. team then he goes okay how about you. write for me. >> this was pre- show and I remember I told. Trevor but I'm also a comedian and I.
can't give you my best bits and also So. besides you're a road comedian, you. can't afford me. And so when and then. Trevor goes like to shame. And so when. Trevor got the Daily Show, the first. text he sent me, I remember you in the. Middle East. He told me, "I can afford. you now, BITCH." [laughter]. THAT WAS his job offer. That was his job. offer. It started with an HR violation. So. [laughter] anyway, so anyway, the reason I say I'm lucky is. Trevor said told me something that also.
stayed with me. Remember you told me if. I hadn't come to the US, >> I would never have end up with you. >> cuz you kept asking for come over. >> And then he also told me if you didn't. cuz my visa was 3 months. He told me if. you had come 3 months before, >> we would never have met cuz I was on the. road. >> If you had come 3 months after, we would. never have met because I was now at the. Daily Show. I'm not random. So I feel like. >> for me everything and it goes back to. the thing I was telling you being born a.
guy in Africa cuz in Africa a girl to. leave a thriving low career to become. it's it's everyone go this was a waste. of money. >> but a guy people go like oh boys boys. will be boys. >> and you know when you come from a. supportive family and a tight-knit. family and you know not everyone has. that. >> and so when I when I when I left. [clears throat] low to become a comedian. when there's no comedy in Uganda. everyone went like oh this guy has lost. it because there were people who thought. because I done so well in my SATs. I was basically sponsored by the. government to study law and other people. said, "Oh, people thought I was going to.
be the attorney general." And so like. has wasted his potential attorney. general. >> People thought I was on the ground. >> That was like your natural progression. At some point you'd be the attorney. general of Uganda. >> They thought that that was their. [clears throat] dream for me. It wasn't. my dream. >> So I remember everyone went, "Oh, he has. lost his mind." And the only person who. understood was my mom. My mom told me, "Oh, you've never you've never messed. up. I don't think you're about to. start." So all that like the lack of. coming from people who are supportive, lack of having like tightnit family that. you can trust, the lack of like drawing.
or attracting or ending up with like. very nice people in your life. >> Yeah. >> People don't count those blessings or. people don't. go like oh not everyone has like very. supportive friends or good friends or. like interesting friends even. >> And so for me I'm always like to go to. the question Dave was asking of being up. here. I'm always like counting my. blessings. I was going, "Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Look, everything that has happened. to me is way better than my.
like craziest dreams.". It doesn't mean you stop working, but it. just you just got like, "Wow, I'm really. hashtag winning at life.". >> Joe Opio, the luckiest man alive. This was fun, man. >> Also the most interesting man. [laughter]. This was fun for you. >> That's That's what I do. I do it for. myself. >> Yes. This was fun for you. Hang out with. me for two hours and we're not watching. a football game. I've never Normally.
when I hang out with you for 2 hours, this some. >> That's how I have to bring you some. bribe you basically. >> I'm going to There has to be some reward. for me. >> Exactly. That's what I mean. >> And then you brought you brought Eugene. [laughter]. Now we're taping this threesome. and Eugene is doing all the watching. which makes it very uncomfortable. [laughter]. seated in his [ __ ] chair. >> Oh man, this was fun. Joe, thank you. [laughter]. >> No, it was a pleasure, man. It was a.
pleasure, brother. >> Oh, thank you, Dave. Thank you very. much. Thanks for being the viewers uh. >> the viewers voice. You know, you know, before we go, let me tell you one story. about Trevor, cuz people don't know this. about Trevor. That's what was asking me. and I've seen people write about you and. people don't understand people who who. haven't met you and it goes back to the. thing you're saying now just thanking me. Trevor changed my life essentially right. he did change my life you know coming to. the daily show and I remember and he has. done things for me he's taken me to. Barcelona a bunch of times gotten me to. meet like my biggest footballing. [clears throat] heroes taken me to two.
world cups and I remember Trevor sent me. a text message I don't know I remember. actually I remember when he. [clears throat] first gave me the job. first time I realized he was a nice guy. really when Trevor hired. You remember text you sent me? >> No. >> He sent me a text that said, "Hey Joe, uh it might not work out, right? You. know, you could come go crazy or. whatever. You know, you're in show for. the first time. You're Uganda and you. could, you know, I don't know how you. there's never been a Ugandan in show. It's not your natural habitat. I don't. know how you would respond." And.
basically went like, "Yo, if it doesn't. work out, promise me we'll always be. friends cuz we were friends before the. Daily Show. We shouldn't be friends post. if it doesn't work out." And then I. takes wow cuz you know in Africa when. someone does you a favor. >> they make you aware that they're doing a. favor. >> That's why we have no blood donations. and organ. >> I I you would know. >> I was someone's call you would know. >> I was like this man should be telling me. hey if it doesn't work out I'll never.
talk to you ever again. >> But he was like okay. And then the other. text you sent me this was before we went. to the World Cup. You went like yo. you've enriched my life and all this and. all this. No, no. This was after after. the World Cup, I think. I don't know. I. did something. I think it was when I did. the world according to football thing. >> I don't know. >> Where he helped me like win an Emmy. essentially. But again, luck cuz. remember how I came onto that project. >> Yeah. >> It was like almost like, you know, it. was luck. And then after like we do the. project, we finish it and like, "Oh man, thank you so much. You've changed it all.
this, you know, right the same, you. know, usual like white Trevor stuff, you. know." Yeah. When the white side comes. out. >> Yes. Oh, you changed my life. And I'm. like, [laughter]. >> here comes whiteness. >> It almost feels like he writes them with. a pen feather. >> Yeah, I saw them. >> The governor, >> I write these. [laughter]. >> So, he writes this and he goes like, "You've enriched my life." And I was I. read this went like, "Yo, if someone was. keeping count, I'm winning way harder in.
this relationship than you are. >> You know, you taking me to the World. Cup. Done this. Done this. Make me.". Yes. No, but like you I've done things. through you which I would never done or. which are like beyond my craziest dreams. >> but Trevor will literally thank you. >> even if when it comes to friendship like. if you're keeping score he's losing like. crazy. >> I'm like eight n up and he's like oh Joe. you've given me an amazing game it's. funny cuz I said this the other day I. said. >> in the in the years that I've known you. in the cuz you know as humans we're.
trying to rack up as much karma coming. point as possible. >> I said your frequent mileage is crazy. You've racked up so much good karma your. way and it's evident people don't need. to be paid to say they just. and without by the without keeping score. without. >> 100% I get it. Yeah. Without there are. people who are and I think you might be. one of them. >> There are people. So my sister my my. twin sister is one of them. >> You have a. >> Yeah, I have a twin sister. >> Two hours later. >> Thankfully though Thankfully though she.
doesn't she doesn't look anything like. me. >> Is it her [laughter] talking now? I say funny story about her. Funny story. about her. She is. >> 15 minutes late because my mom didn't. realize she had twins. >> till when I came out. >> Wow. >> Cuz we didn't have like scans and all. that back then. So she thought she just. had a big baby or whatever. So she goes. to give birth and I come out and she. goes like, >> "Thank God.". >> And then the nurses are like, "Oh, sorry, plot twist.". >> There's another one. >> Yeah, there is. Yeah, another one. But.
like to the point I was trying to make. my twin sister is I know a few people. it's my twin sister my young brother. >> I have a very good like person called. Shonabara they're very they're very nice. people you know people are genuinely. nice. >> and Trevor cuz I'm nice. >> but I know I'm nice. >> does that make sense I'm nice. consciously I go like there's no reason. to be a. >> dick to people. >> and then there are people who are just. nice who if so if my sister gives. someone money and they don't bring it.
back and we go like okay and Then they. come back and then you go like don't. give them money but that's what I'm. supposed to do. She doesn't think. >> through the act. >> Mhm. >> So Trevor is the same way. He he will do. things without other people keep. So. exactly you know get me a job. Other. people go like I'm doing you a favor. I'm doing I'm changing your life. I'm. bring you to America. Then for me go. like no man whatever happens this thing. not spoil the thing we have. No no no. no. Like most people don't know this. about you cuz they read but people who. know you and and I think Eugene you.
would agree. never keeps score doesn't even think. about it hey Joe let's go to kata hey yo. let's go to hey okay and then he goes oh. thank you for and then you like I should. be the first one. >> no I said thank you. >> cuz [music] you make this thing what it. is man thank you all right we got it. folks thank you. >> for real man thank you Joe. >> no this was a pleasure bro. >> thank you my man. >> it was a pleasure H. Thank you so much for watching the. episode. If you enjoyed it, pass it on.
to a friend. If you didn't enjoy it, pass it on to your friend still. [music]. Let them suffer for a change. And don't. forget to engage with us in the. comments. Uh if you want to suggest a. guest, maybe there's questions you want, maybe there's ideas that you have. You. [music] can chat to us. We will read. through the comments and we'll get into. it. Either way, I appreciate you taking. the time. [music] Thank you for hanging. out with us on What Now. And remember, we do this for you. So we would like to. hear from you. Till next time. Thank. you.
