John Oliver: Why Everything is a Scam: FIFA, Mergers, & Information Literacy
[music]. >> Best thing about John Wick was the. hotel. Yeah, that was pretty badass. The. hotel was such a great concept. [laughter]. >> arts, it's great. I think part of that. is people's just longing for a hotel. with that well run. >> [laughter]. >> It's so. I like the fighting, but I love the. service. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can turn. up nearly dead, sir. We'll take care of. you. And we take care of. For me, it's a hotel movie with some. fighting in it. >> Wait, didn't they say they don't take. Wasn't there something they don't do.
that they did for him? Maybe the dog. I. feel like there was something that. >> They don't It is no It's a no pets. building. No, no, no. They said but they. did it for him. Yes, but I swear they. don't accept pets. >> But it was a. >> [snorts]. >> It was a no pets enterprise. >> I I hope I'm not wrong about this. International assassins? [laughter]. I swear there was something where they. said. Mr. Wick, they said Mr. Wick, we don't. allow da da da and then they then they. like made an exception for him. >> No, that was he wanted to. kill somebody on premises.
Maybe it's that. That's more likely than. pets. >> That's more likely than It's more likely. Yeah, it's more likely you're not. allowed to kill someone in the premises. I remember him coming with his dog and. greeted the dog as if it was a customer. Because it is. >> Yeah. They were like, oh, John and. Fluffy. Fluffy. I love I love the fact. that you watched John Wick and your. biggest takeaway was what a hotel. I I. love the fact that you thought it was. plausible they didn't take pets and that. was the line. You come in with a blood dripping. samurai sword and a dog cage and they're. like [laughter]. put the cage down.
I'll give you a towel for the sword. I I. I see you've had your shots, but has he? >> [laughter]. >> No, it's just You know, some some of the. other assassins, they got It's the hair. of the dog. >> allergic to dogs. I don't know, man. I. feel like there was something. You. should check it. I think there was. something about about no pets. There was. like a There was just like a vibe. But. you know. >> It's a great hotel. It really is. New. York is an entire pet friendly zone. >> [music]. >> This is [music] What Now with Trevor.
Noah. >> [music]. >> How long have you lived in New York now? I've been here since 2006 or nearly 20. years. What what What first brought you. to New York? >> Daily Show. I got offered the job. That was my first. My first day in New York was the The. Daily Show. >> you serious? >> Yep. Hmm. Yep. >> No, wait, tell me your Daily Show origin. story. >> So, I was They were looking for a new.
correspondent. I'm in London, right, having you know, doing the Edinburgh. Festival every year. Uh So, they say, put yourself on tape. Uh you saw I. >> Who said this to you? >> They were They were looking for a. correspondent from the world, right? For. the first time, not from America, from. outside of the borders of this land. Uh and so, there were a bunch of people. in London who just got. >> [laughter]. >> As a British person, I'd love to. criticize, but you know, GAME RECOGNIZE. GAME.
>> [laughter]. >> YOU KNOW, INDIA. WHAT ABOUT WHAT ABOUT IF WE CALL IT. SOMETHING DIFFERENT? [laughter]. UH YEAH, SO. A bunch I think a bunch of English. comedians had been asked like to put. themselves on tape. Then I they So, I. think I'm never going to hear from them. again. Then they say, oh, they want to. they want to meet you. So, you can So, I. think fine. But I've never been to New. York before. This will be my free trip. to New York for 36 hours. So, I flew. over here. stayed in Midtown.
uh uh went to the I. went to Applebee's for a meal. Thought. Thought this must be like a. quintessential American diner, Applebee's. I love how you're ticking. all the boxes of every immigrant who. comes here. It's Midtown. You think best. location. Best You can't get better than. this. Hell's Kitchen. What a great name. >> It's true. You know what I mean? Probably Probably ironically named. >> Yes. This must be where everything is. And then Applebee's. Yeah, and then you. go to Applebee's and you're like, wow. I.
I'm This seems like fine dining. Yeah. >> You're just ticking all the boxes. And. then So then yeah, I then I went to the. building like uh. auditioned for John. >> Did you know who Jon Stewart was? >> Oh, yeah, of course. >> Okay, you got It wasn't on in England, but I knew It was the very much the gold. standard for me of what I what. political comedy in the world could be. It was even even back then in 2006, it. was it. despite not being on TV in England, it's. uh presence and influence was still.
>> Okay, all right, got it. Got it. So, I. was thrilled just to see it. Uh so, then. I had read uh. a chat, you know, one of those green. screen chats. Exactly. Uh and um they said, when could. you start? And I was like, I live in. England. So, I don't have anything here. And I was supposed to be doing the. Edinburgh Festival. uh that summer. So, I went back to. England. picked up two bags full of stuff and. then came back here in July of 2006 and. I've barely been back since.
It's so crazy how similar the stories. are. It's almost like they have like a. Hmm. a specific. Cuz cuz my. Yeah, because my cuz mine was like. similar. It really feels like that. It. really feels like cuz mine was like. similar, but but slightly different. Mine was I got a call from John. Right? I was in London. I I just started. like one of my first tours ever. I was I. was But it was like a tiny tour. But I. was doing all the small cities, you. know, from London, Brighton, Newcastle, you name every big one, small ones.
everywhere. >> tiny. And then No, but I'm saying like. >> whole entire What I Listen, listen to. what I mean by tiny. It was like 200. seaters, 150 seaters. [laughter]. Does that make sense? No, venues are. tiny. He's not talking about population. >> Okay, okay. Yeah. Thank you for. clarifying. >> [laughter]. >> Thank you for clarifying. You're not. saying Chipping Norton, a village. 120 people. But an amphitheater. >> [laughter]. >> Weirdly. So, my tour was tiny is what. I'm saying. >> Okay, cool. So, I get a call, don't know. the number. I'm standing in Harrods. That's why I'll. never forget this call. >> Standing in Harrods. So, I'd heard about.
Harrods. >> Again, quintessential. Every immigrant has I've literally never. been in Harrods in my whole life. Ah, this man. Everyone told me, you got to go to. Harrods. Everyone was like, you Why? Have Because they're like, it's the. store. And remember, this is before. Amazon. >> Yeah, but this is before things like. that existed [clears throat] in that. way. Right. You can find anything. They. said, you go to Harrods and you can find. anything. And I was like, what does that. mean? They said, just go. Just go to. Harrods. You Very nicely done. So, I go. to Harrods. Yeah. I can't find anything. >> I'm in the I can't afford anything.
Yeah, you can't. I'm in the lower level, one below the like minus one level. Wait, so there's different levels? Yeah, and they all have different things. So, clothing, perfumes, food, what you know what. International arms dealing. >> [laughter]. >> Misogyny. Yes. Well, that's That's more. That's pumped in through the vents. That's [laughter] That's Historically, that's everywhere. So, and then my phone rings. I was. staring at an underwater scooter. I will. never forget this moment. The I'm I was. staring at it thinking, how in my life.
will I ever be able to afford one of. these cuz it's impossible. I didn't even think about where I would. use it. I just went, I need this in my. life. It is an underwater scooter. So, you you have like the What do you call. those things where you put the bulb over. your head? No, you know like when you. you didn't scuba dive? Yeah. You'd wear. that. thing. Old scuba guys would wear it. That was an underwater One of them used. to be brass. Yes, that thing. But now it. would it's on a scooter. So, you go down. on the scooter and then you have that on. your head and you just ride around. >> buy. The impulse buy. >> wait. Wait, wait, wait. So, it's that.
brass helmet, but it's not brass. anymore. >> It's not brass. No, because it would be. too heavy. >> Yeah. So, >> we've moved past brass. I think the. moment that we've got underwater. scooters, >> [laughter]. >> we fixed the brass helmet situation. I think. >> [laughter]. >> one followed the other. So, this thing's going to be great. [laughter]. IF I CAN JUST. >> [laughter]. >> OH, MAN. SO, IT'S. >> OKAY, SO IT'S NOT THE WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT. I CAN'T MOVE on from this. We have. to describe the contraption. >> Okay. So, now imagine a scooter or what. I guess in America do they call it a. moped? Done. Whatever it this little. thing like a Vespa type thing. Like me. me me me me me me. That's it. Okay? Now, imagine it has no wheels. No wheels. No, that's how they sound. Road runner is meep meep. There's a. difference. So, I wish he was wrong, but he is right. I want I wanted that to be a distinction. without a difference, but actually that. was. >> Okay, okay. That's the story of Eugene's.
life. >> [laughter]. >> So, it's it's a it's a So, now imagine. that. No wheels, right? But it has a. little propeller underneath. Okay? So, sort of like a jet ski, but not. But you. can't you can't see the the motor. So, that's it. So, you sit and you ride like. that. But then it has a contraption that comes. from the front of it. that. brings Wait, wait, wait. I'll explain. this part. So, there's a contraption. that comes over the front of it and then. there's a dome that goes over your head. >> Okay. >> with a glass bubble that you can look. through. So, all you got to do is get in. there. You don't wear any scuba gear.
You don't And it has oxygen tanks on it. And then you just ride around. So, does. it have weights to weigh down to the. bottom of the. >> weights. The whole thing is weights. You. can't like put this in your backpack. It's the size of a scooter. So, how. would you get into the water with it? So, do you. >> These are not things I thought of at the. time. >> This He had All he knew was, I want this. in my life despite the fact there's no. room or practical use for it. >> Or anything. I don't I come from. Johannesburg. We don't even have the. ocean there. I was just like, I know I. need this in my. >> I'm in the market for an instantly. depreciating asset.
>> [laughter]. >> To call this thing an investment would. [laughter] not be fair. You are setting. fire to money. >> To your money. To your money. >> [laughter]. >> But I didn't have the money. I was just. staring at it. Then my phone rang. >> [laughter]. >> And it was Jon Stewart. I didn't know Jon Stewart. Unlike you, I. didn't know who he even was. And and then he came on and you you know. John better than anyone. Like. John does not take himself as seriously. as people take him, right? So he calls.
me, goes, "Hey, can I speak to Trevor?" I'm like, "Speaking." He says, "Hey, do you speak. in a John Stewart's. I host a little show." That's what he. said. The exact phrasing was, "I host a. little show in America called The Daily. Show.". That joke only works if you know what. The Daily Show is, otherwise it just. seems like a description. Cuz this. wasn't a big So I was just like the. underwater scooter. I was just like. totally wasted on you. I was like, no, no, that was not wasted on me. Did you. buy it? I couldn't. Let's get back to. that. Let's [laughter] get back to that. So then, John goes I I'm not done with.
that, either. So John goes Wait, so John. goes, "I host a a little show. in a I'm John Stewart." Then I was like. He's like, "I don't know if you've heard. of me." I was like, "No, no, I haven't.". And then he said His phrasing I I forget. it sometimes, but he goes like He said. something to the effect of, "Nor should. you have." That's what he said. He said, "I'm John Stewart. I don't know. if you've heard of me." Then I said, "No, I I haven't." Then he said, "Nor. should you have." And then I He said, "I. host a little show in America called The. Daily Show." Then I was like, "Oh, I. think I've heard of that." And he's. like, "As you should.". >> [laughter]. >> As you should have. And he's like,
uh we we we saw some of your stuff. I. like your stuff. I was wondering like. you like, "What do you What do you do? Would you like to come to New York?" And. now, first of all, I come from South. Africa. I'm like, this 50% chance this. is a scam. What? This is somebody just. trying to get my details. I know how. this works. No. He's going, "What are your details?". He's on the phone right now. He's barely. listening to the guy. He's more just. looking at the. exactly. what. >> [laughter]. >> the thing while he's talking. Then he said, "Can you come to New. York?" I was like, not Then I was like, "What's What's that?" He's like, "We.
want to hire you. You're going to come. to New York." And I was like, "Oh, no, I. I no, thank you.". He's like, "I'm sorry, what?" And I'll. never forget he went, "Sorry, what?". I said, "Yeah, I've got a I've got a. tour that I'm I'm I'm doing now.". Luton, like all these places. Like I'm out here, baby. I said the same thing I said a version. of that when they offered me the job. My manager said, "Yeah, they're. they want you to do the job." And I. said, "I can't do it. I'm going to. Edinburgh." You see? He said, "Yeah, you're not going to Edinburgh. You're.
going to go You're going to go do You're. going to go do. You're going to go do this job.". Otherwise, I was thinking, "Yeah, but I. got an 80-seater room at the stand. Yeah, I got a room.". Your internationally acclaimed satirical. TV show has to wait, baby. You don't. understand supply and demand in. Edinburgh in August. [laughter]. And your review WRITTEN BY CHOPSTICKS. >> [laughter]. >> OH, WOW. WHAT A DEEP cut you did. Wow. You got a. cake chopstick reference. [laughter]. Man, we've made it.
So So that was me. And then. John said, "Wait, so then" He paused and. he went, "Tell me about your life. Who are you?". And I was like, "I'm a comedian and I am. I'm doing comedy now.". Staring at an underwater scooter. wanting [laughter] it to be mine. In a. landlocked city. Remind me, WHO ARE YOU. AGAIN? >> [laughter]. >> AND AND THEN HE HE BASICALLY SAID, "WELL, if you ever change your mind and if you. come to New York, let me know." And he. said I He said, "I Wait, but I'm just.
confirming, are you saying no?" And I. said, "Yeah, but with all due respect, I. And he was And I I'm glad I didn't I. genuinely didn't know I wasn't like It. wasn't It wasn't me being like, "I don't. have time for this." It was more like, "Oh, you and your little show. I also. have a little show. We've got to. prioritize our little shows in life. So thank you for the call. I'm going to. carry on with my life." Had I known that. he would have brought me much closer to. that underwater scooter than anything. else. closer than anything else. This That wouldn't have. Yeah, it's a that's amazing. That's a we.
it would that is relatively similar. Then other than What So when did you. find out what that show meant? I was. more worried about did anyone come and. help him at the store? No one. Okay. No one came and helped. No. one came and said, "So do you need any". I didn't look like I could buy anything. in that store. I think Harrods staff are. pretty well trained for whether you can. No, I mean I think I think that comes. WITH THE VENTS. >> [laughter]. >> WITH WITH THE CLASSISM, TOO. That's all. there. I think what they're looking for. is Saudi money. I think I think or.
Michael Jackson moving through it when. Or even even like Or even compound. They DID MICHAEL JACKSON. >> [laughter]. >> YOU know the story about how they sold. him all the cheap knockoff stuff and. they were like, "He just has money. He's. just going to take it." And he was like, "That's pretty That's pretty." They were. like, "He doesn't know the difference.". >> [clears throat]. >> They sold him everything. That was That. is not Michael Jackson. My my takeaway from the flawed like. Michael Jackson is not that he was. scammed out of some purchases.
>> [laughter]. >> I think we would get to that, but I. would probably work through the abuse. allegations [laughter] and the history. of music before we got to contractually. it felt like Harrods let [laughter] him. down. Buying a fake Ming Dynasty vase. >> [laughter]. >> Ironically made in China, as well. Wow. Wow. So wait, okay. [laughter] So. now let's let's go back to your work. So. now you get. you get brought in. So now you you you. come in immediately. And that's it. You. start The Daily Show. immediately. So I.
don't know if they did this with you. I. When I got my stuff, I came back. My. first day in the office, I think I've. found out since then this is a very nice. thing that they would do. They would try. and get you on the show straight away. So you're not hanging around too long. watching, thinking about what it would. be like. I I landed back here. exhausted, [clears throat]. got went to the office. They said, "You're going to be on the show. tonight." I was like, "Wait, what?" And. so the whole thing then moved very very. quickly and all of a sudden I was in In.
retrospect, I see that that is a very. kind thing to do for people to get them. in quickly. So you're not overthinking. it. Essentially, it's I think it's like. the same tactics that a like a drug gang. uses. When you when you're flirting with. the idea of being part of the cartel, they get you into a deal as quickly as. possible so that you can't now back out. Perfect analogy. I didn't Wait, wait, wait. You have to. explain to us. You said no at the shop, right? I said no, yeah. So how long. before you say yes? And what what makes. you say yes? So this was I don't know. how long it was after that. I'm bad with.
time in that way. Maybe 6 months. I. don't know. I don't know, but it was. much much much later. I'm I'm coming to New York to do my show. in a small little theater. Cuz remember, I'm on my trajectory. I'm nailing it. I'm doing my thing. John contacts me again. Basically goes. like, "I heard you're in New York.". Oh, wow. Then I'm like, man, this I'm. like, this guy. Yo. Now, I still don't So here's here's what. I have to explain about this. >> [snorts]. >> I didn't. First of all, I didn't know what The. Daily Show was because we didn't get it. in that way in South Africa. But more.
importantly, I had seen what John did. And I've told him this. I'd seen it. But it used to air on CNN. The international edition. The global edition. So what I saw was Christiane Amanpour, Richard Quest, >> [laughter]. >> news from Hong Kong, news from India, news from England, you name. Then this guy would come on TV. I assumed drunk. because he was reading the news,
but man, this guy was not taking it. seriously. But this was So John Stewart was part of. CNN in my world. He would do a package, but he would introduce it standing up by. a green screen. I then watched him do it. because it would be one of the writers'. jobs. It would be one of us to write You. just [ __ ] out a wrap-around bit for the. global edition and no one cares about it. cuz they don't see it. Unfortunately, but unfortunately, the rest of the. world, it's the only thing they see. So. they see this.
half-baked thing of a guy speed-reading. his way through, "Welcome to the global. edition. This is just I'm vomiting this. out into the world and no one's going to. hear it." And then the rest of the world. is watching it after Christiane Amanpour. has just told them what happened in. Libya. Is this very very confident guy. in New York going, "Uh welcome. Anyway, here's my show." And it was. So I that's what I So I was like, "Definitely don't want to be part of. that thing, whatever it is." I don't. want to [laughter] join the news. Do you. know what I'm saying? You don't want to join the news. So [snorts] the first time I find So I I.
come to the show. Came to the show when. I was in New York. John said, "Just come. to the building and hang out with us.". So I [clears throat] walk in. See? Just hang out. Was I gone then? Was. I there? You were You weren't there. So. I must have gone. You were gone. You. were gone. Yeah, you were gone. I think. you were just about to launch your show. You hadn't launched your show on HBO, actually. So you were right in that. window. You must have left in that. window, yeah. You had just left, but you. hadn't launched your show.
And they were using you as the template. for me. Like literally, they were like, "So this works for John So they were. literally like John Oliver would sit in. this office, so you can sit here in this. office." And cuz they I'm assuming they. were just like, "It's Empire vibes. You. guys This is what you do, right? You. sound like him, I think." So. >> [laughter]. >> we do all sound the same. You're not. from here. Okay. It is There is something about the. American that cannot distinguish between. English, Australian, New Zealander, and. South African. It's all the same.
And they can't do it. They don't hear. the vowels. It just hit For some reason, that's our sounds. are completely indistinct. So it's just. it's a gamble. It's one in four chance. each time. The best description someone. gave me once that helped me understand. this It encapsulates it. Was there's a. guy I met in the street, UPS driver. Big. fan of the show. I was hosting The Daily. Show at this time. And he looked at me. and he went He's like, "Hey, man." He's. like, "Yo, man. I mess with this dude.". He said, "You that You that British dude.
from South Africa.". >> [laughter]. >> Well, again. Again, historically that was so perfect. to what you're saying. He said, "You're. that British dude from South Africa.". He knew where I was from, but he's like, "But. you're British." Yeah. So I'm at the show. They're using the. John template, which I'm grateful to you. for, by the way, in many ways. Because. now they had like a an idea that like. all right, you you these are things that. we think work for you. Cuz you like tea, not coffee. You're that kind of guy. >> Sure, yeah. Right? So, they go, "This is.
what we're going to do.". Jon goes, "Just hang out.". I go into one of their meetings. If you go into a Daily Show meeting, you. will not know a single thing. Maybe now. because of Trump, the world has become. more attuned with what America's talking. about. Back then, it was. John Boehner. Yeah. Which threw me off because on the. screen, I read Boehner. Mhm. It's cuz b. o e h n e r. >> Mhm. And then everyone was saying. Boehner, and I was like, "Are they doing. this on purpose as a joke to avoid.
saying boner?". >> And then they were talking about. gerrymandering, they were talking about like you know. I was I was like, "What is this?" And. then at the end, Jon was like, "So, what. do you think?" And I said, "Look, my my. friend, >> [laughter]. >> you're a very funny guy. But this thing you do, and what I do, very different worlds. >> Uh-huh. You guys are doing homework, I'm. doing comedy. >> [laughter and cough]. >> So, >> Yeah. I like you a lot. Then he just. walked around the building with me. We. told jokes, told cuz Jon is funny. We. just told told jokes, told jokes, told.
jokes, told jokes. And then Jon said, "Let's do this. conversation on the air." Is that on the. same? But yeah, but interestingly, cuz. having been in that process, you're. there at the morning, it's. I I understand the distinction you're. making between you're doing homework, I'm doing comedy. That time of the day, for the best comedy to happen, that time. of the day has to be homework. So, what what feels like an anathema. when you're looking at it is, "Hey, this. is a writer's meeting of comedy writers.
Why is no one making jokes?" And the. thing is, you can get too attracted to a joke, right? And you can try and build. the whole day show around a joke that. you loved. Whereas the truth is, you. need it to be foundationally solid. You. build that joke on You build that joke. on sand, the joke you loved collapses, or you're going to do some very dicey. work trying to reinforce a joke that. should not be standing up. So, that is. why those meetings can appear humorless.
if you're looking at it from the. outside. But what they are doing is. building the foundations for jokes that. will come later. >> No one explained it like this to me. >> Yeah. Cuz you just left. I wish you were. there. No one explained it like. [laughter] that. First of all, using the. word anathema to describe what's going. on in there. >> no no. Already [laughter]. already already already. No, no. So, then Jon said, "Let's do this in a. conversation." Literally, the. conversation we're having. He's like, "What do you think of New York?" And. then I told him a few things. He. laughed, and he said a few things. I. laughed, and we went back and forth. Jon. said, "Why don't we do this on the.
show?" Said, "I don't understand. I really don't understand what this show. is now.". >> Yes. I have to go to Applebee's. >> Then Jon said, "Let's do this thing. Let's do it on the show." And long story. short, that's what we did. We basically. took our conversation, turned it into a chat between us. And. that that's what we put on the show. And Jon was like, "That was amazing. Let's do it again." And then I said, "No, I'm going home. I don't want to be a part of this." And. I left. >> [laughter]. >> Meanwhile, in South Africa, we're. building statues of you.
>> [laughter]. >> Cuz it was Guys, it is hard. >> [laughter]. >> Did you Did you anticipate how much hard. work it would be? Uh uh. yes. I think I had a. I think I knew it was going to be hard. I think I didn't know exactly what. you're talking about. I didn't know how. quickly I was going to need to do a. crash course in American politics. Not. just the characters, but the functions. of it, right? Where you are starting to. look at the separation of powers and.
just the basic way that government. operates, and you realize. as you're in meetings for months, you're. thinking, "I need to Google that later. I need to Google that later." You're. going to have to kind of. teach yourself as you go along and fill. in the gaps, and know that in a sense, you're always in search of gaps, because. that is how you're going to. fundamentally understand the country. that you're hoping to call home in my. case. But did you always know Like what. what were you doing in What were you. doing in in the UK? No, because my. manager the same guy that said you're.
not going to Edinburgh this year. He. said, "Just go. Like don't don't sign. anything more than a 3-month lease, because American TV shows fire you after. 3 months." That was his inspiring team. talk. >> [laughter]. >> He's an English manager. >> This isn't very This is an English. manager. He's my manager. >> Yeah, exactly. This is just. >> American American managers would be. like, "Yo, this is it, baby. Sign Sign a. 7-year lease. You're going six seasons, baby. You got it." English manager, I. can see him being like, "All right, nothing more than 3 months.". >> That's right. It's a huge opportunity. for you, but to be honest, I'll see you.
in September. >> [laughter]. >> With your tail between your legs, having. been humbled by what they're about to do. to you. Good luck. That So, that Yeah, so. I he had told me this is not going to. take long. So, I put all my stuff in. storage. in South London. It was there until last. summer was when I got it out. It'd been. in storage for 18. years in. South Norwood. In South London. >> finally Now you've relaxed. You finally. were like, "All right, I think this. thing's going well." You say that. though, because that that is the.
problem, right? That it's. partly falling in love with a job and. falling in love with a country where you. don't legally permanently belong. I. remember like six or seven months in, being very happy with uh. with what was happening at the show and. what I was learning and how for the. first time I felt like I fit in. And I remember landing from London, like. the wheels hitting the ground in New. York, and thinking, "Oh, it's good to be.
home." And then I thought, "Uh-oh, that's a dangerous thing to think, because this is not my home. Like I'm on. a working visa. That's a pro If I If I. feel that way, I might need to start. making plans for this truly being my. home, because I. Before it had just felt like. a fun adventure that I was having. Then. you realize, "Oh no, I think I love this. more than I've loved anything." And um.
there were people at the Daily Show at. the time using it as a springboard, because it was such a big deal the show. was. It was huge. Yeah, when I think about in. you in your era, sort of like where you. came on towards the end of When I look. at the class of people around that time, you had Steve Carell. >> Steve Carell was just was before me. He'd gone. I I turned up. Ed Helms was. He was He was his last week, so he was. off going off to the office. And The. Hangover as well was coming up. Yeah. So, they were all doing stuff, but I.
didn't want to do any of that. So, I. didn't want it to be a springboard at. all. I didn't want to go out on. auditions. I just wanted to do that. show. I didn't want to be in movies. I. didn't want to be in a sitcom. I didn't. want to act in something. I just wanted. to be in that building doing that show. But what version of it? Because the. first time I saw you was. when you did the piece about South. Africa. Oh, yeah. You did that piece. Have you ever seen that piece? He did a. piece for the World Cup. It is one of. the most amazing pieces you'll ever see,
especially if you're South African, but. even if you're not. But Jon came to. South Africa. Yeah, for the first first. game. I was I watched that first game in. shabeen. So, it was South Africa versus. Mexico. YEP. YEAH. SHABALALA! >> [screaming]. >> WITH OUR BOUGHT GOAL. >> [laughter]. >> I STILL THINK THAT GOAL was paid for. You think you can pay for that? This is what happens when you don't. watch football, my man. Do you think you can Let me tell you. something. >> You can 100% pay for. >> Eugene, let me tell you something. 100%. Yeah. I can pay you.
all the money in the world, and I can give you all the time in the. world. You will never create that goal. My friend, do you understand how hard. You There's so many things you can So, Eugene, I I should give I should give. you a bit of context. Eugene A doesn't. believe in football. Nope. You. Wait, hold on. I'm more interested in this than I is. the underwater scooter. You don't. believe in the the concept of it? Because I think football fans. basically like other men.
>> [laughter]. >> Because if they really love football, they would watch women's football, too. But because they appreciate just. watching men only play football. This. argument is flawed on so many levels. >> It's over for you. Take [laughter] Take it away. What What. What are you talking about? Also, add in. the fact that he also thinks it's all a. scam. It's all rigged. Yeah, yeah. It's. all It's all like manufactured. It's all. actors. He He thinks we're watching WWE. People have been groomed from childhood. They've been put in these camps to kick. this ball. They promised jerseys. Other.
people have been co-opted into the scam. The World Cup's coming. Yep. Nobody. wants this [ __ ] right now. AMERICA'S. GEARING UP. [laughter] THAT WORLD Cup of. ours, bought. It was just for my team. Oh, that The World Cup was bought. And. that goal. No no no no no no no no no. The World Cup. Every World Cup is bought. FIFA is a. criminal organization. At least we agree. there. First Yes. And then I So, I'm. getting on your argument saying FIFA is. a criminal organization, then I'm. getting off, and you are driving that.
argument off into crazy town. Remember, and also it's very hard for me to admit. this, because I did a show called. Countdown 2010, which was a magazine. show for 4 years, and I traveled the. world. Yeah, you had to dress up for it. He had to dress up the whole country. I. attended for the World Cup. 4 years attending huge sporting events. Euro Cup, CAF Africa Cup of Nations, everything. I was there. What I took away home was my salary, and. the fact that all of this is a scam. Oh, all of it is a scam. But the the World. Cup FIFA is an organization is you I.
have to think of it in terms of crime. You can't You can't really think of them. as a sporting organization. The sport is. somehow immune from their [ __ ] So, I. was even seeing that Zlatan Ibrahimovic. had that He's just really He had. released that video. The one about. ticket prices. No, it was it the one. just saying like FIFA like choose the. game over greed. And that was the first. time with mom dialing I'm thinking well. hold who do you think you're talking to? >> [laughter]. >> I if I was FIFA over greed But but.
Infantino the head of it is just going. to I choose greed every I've always. chosen greed. I've not. I've not chosen anything. There's no. moral compass that you can appeal to. here. Nothing points north in my soul. So yeah. FIFA is a terrible organization. that happens to produce the best. imaginable product. But those It's like. a drug organization making the best. drugs. >> the greatest cocaine And the worst thing. is when I saw this one documentary where. they spoke about the football. The ball. itself. That every ball for the World.
Cup has a name. Oh the Jabulani. Yeah. And it has its own idiosyncrasies. Yeah, that's true. That's true. And I was like. you see now. No, you. >> someone who played a World Cup 8 years. ago kicked a ball that's not similar to. a World Cup ball now. That's true. So you don't cuz cricket the ball is the. same. You are right about FIFA and you. are wrong about football. Okay. >> Football is is the beautiful cocaine. that the Sinaloa cartel produces. >> is the most beautiful thing that has. ever Yeah. existed. >> But this explanation sounds better with.
a British accent. Well, we both have one. of those to American ears. So it's. >> to a FedEx driver Yeah, it's to a. [laughter] FedEx driver it's all the. same. Oh, OH JOHNNY FROM JOE'BURG HERE. >> [laughter]. >> OH MAN. BUT YOU ALSO DO YOU REMEMBER DO. you I mean you I'm sure you remember it. Do you remember the piece where you were. talking to racist white South Africans? Oh my god. Oh my best import. Let me. tell you something. >> yeah. John Oliver talking to racist. white South Africans and them rolling.
with him. Yes. But you know what? They. loved him. I was WHAT I WAS. >> [laughter]. >> THERE WAS SOMETHING about me they like. But the interesting thing is that with. that interview. I what I wanted to do was get the. ugliness Mhm. out in the open in a short. space, right? And so it's difficult. because there is as you well know a. polish to racism. >> Very much so. in South Africa. A real a. real patina of dignity [laughter] around. the horror. So I wanted to get under.
this guy's skin and I got Louis Theroux, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And. so I. one of the producers of The Daily Show. had worked with Louis Theroux. So I'd. asked him hey, can you Is there anything. How does he get to the id of this. ugliness? >> Right. How do you get through all of the. poise? Yeah, the pretense. Exactly. And. he said as a British person, the one. knife you have is make some glib remark. about the Boers Yes. and the Boer War.
and all of a sudden things will change. So like he's sitting down in his chair. and like it's just he seems very. confident, very media practiced. I made. some comment as they're putting his. thing and just the Yeah. eyes change and he's like oh and he went. oh there's the human being. Yeah. That I. came here to talk to the. >> between British people or English people. and Afrikaners. is quite dicey because there's a term. that they have for someone who's half. Afrikaner half British called a salty. cuz you know what that means? Mhm. Salty. dick. Yeah. So it means one foot is in.
Africa and then the other foot is in. Europe and your and your penis is in the. ocean. [clears throat]. Which always threw me off because I was. like if you look [laughter] at if you. look at where you're standing. on the map it never made sense to me. >> Johnny from Joe'burg is like yeah, that's. >> [laughter]. >> It never made sense to me. slightly sandy right testicle Yeah, it. never made sense to me. It never made. sense. So graphically it's I know it's. not the main problem with that term. [laughter]. but it doesn't seem it works on any real. geographic level. I would make fun of. Michael Jackson comment to me. But it. worked but it worked. [laughter].
Interestingly it worked. It worked. He was he was immediately. spiky and it was easier to coax out the. ugly he was less poised. I always. wondered when I watched you doing your. pieces I was just like. cuz I cuz I didn't know you at all as a. person. I always remember thinking is. this how this guy is? >> Yeah. It's not how I am because I think. naturally. I'm kind of non-confrontational but in. those pieces But you love stirring [ __ ]. I love stirring You really love stirring. [ __ ] That's exactly it. I love stirring.
[ __ ] up more than I love being a human. being. So all of [laughter] a sudden you. have this excuse to be the worst version. of yourself that secretly you love more. than the other parts. And you get. [laughter] to go full sociopath. >> Sociopath Nazi officers used to say IT'S. THE UNIFORM. >> [laughter]. >> I GET TO BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON. IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE HUGO BOSS. [laughter] TAILORING. OH MAN. YEAH, BECAUSE YOU I HAVE A LOUIS. VUITTON PURSE. You just like It's not. me. IT'S.
THE JACKET. WAIT, BUT BUT DID YOU BUT. DID YOU know did you know that you. So you loved that part of the job. Yes. you did you know that you would love the. hosting part of the job before you. hosted before you guest hosted? I was. terrified of it. So John he did this a. similar version he called me. at at home and I'm in my apartment and. he said hey, I'm going to um. uh. that movie that I've been writing I'm. going to be able to direct it. I'm going. oh that's great.
This feels like a conversation that I. don't know. this can't be the first call. You just. calling everyone you know to say you're. excited. So he talks about when he's. going to do it over the summer like oh. okay, great. Yeah, so what he went and. could you um. could you host the show for me? I went. Yeah, I. I because he'd given me everything I. think I was just hardwired I would say. yes to everything he said. You need. something from me I will do it whatever. that thing is criminal or not I'll do. it. So I said yes like like it's nothing.
Put the phone down and then thought whoa. boy, what have I just agreed to? And. that was terrifying. So then I for the. month before he left I shadowed him much. more closely to work out exactly what. the day is like, right? The parts of the. day that I didn't see just as a writer. and a correspondent on that show what. things need to happen so you get a. fuller understanding of. what mistakes do you need to fix earlier. in the day otherwise you're going to be.
living inside them for the rest of the. day. Wow. Cuz it's it's literally that's. something people don't understand about. making The Daily Show or like you know a. version of Last Week Tonight which is. has a different process but. it's it's the. that first block that you that you start. building on. defines everything. That's right. Everything everything cascades off of. that. >> That first block. So if you put that. block just a little skew. downhill from there. By the time you get. to block 100 at 5:00 p.m. you're like why is this thing falling.
over and touching the ground and you're. like ah it's that first block and if you. didn't catch the first block early. enough now you're there at 5:00 trying. to be like how many blocks can we go. back before we can Yo. That's so what. you learned right was a different way to. look at that room than that first day. that you were in it. what you you're. thinking is why is this Why aren't we. doing Why aren't we doing this? Yeah, why aren't we worrying about what. the color of the blocks are? Oh you. don't want to worry about You can change. the color of a block in a second. Yeah. That's what what what I realized was. being in rewrites were good and bad. You.
realize you can write jokes at the last. second. You can't fix part of the story. quickly. No. Otherwise you're in big big. big trouble. Were you shocked at how. much fact checking went into making an. episode of The Daily Show? Not really. cuz I assumed like if to take big swings. you're going to have to. have a system that can back you up. otherwise you're just not going to be. able to do it for long. country as litigious as America. So I. was.
I wasn't that surprised. I certainly. loved it. I loved that part of the. process and I think what we've done on. our show is extrapolate that out now. So. it's not just John's in a room basically. just drowning in people's opinions. thinking I'll tell you how much of this. you can actually say and then an hour. later we'll have an answer for you. Now. we have a much bigger scaled out. research department now so that they can. spend weeks before the writers get. anywhere near a story to work out.
uh what can you say and then you can. craft the story from those ingredients. and then you can craft jokes from that. story. I've always wondered why like why you. like. stirring the [ __ ] that you like stirring. cuz I. just because you are a [ __ ] stirrer does. not necessarily mean that you choose to. stir [ __ ] in every cup. Yeah. I I see. I feel like that's like more [ __ ]. stirry. Like where if you're doing it in. like a toilet it's weird. You know what. I mean? I I do love.
the feeling of trouble. Yeah, you do but. a specific type of trouble is what I've. noticed. Like. maybe it's just me but you you you'll. correct me if I'm wrong. When I when I. think of John Oliver I go like political. [ __ ] stirring I'm like a little bit but. not so much. But when you get into like corporates. Yeah. Yeah, you listen. I I love it so much. You're a guy almost. maybe became corporate. If you if it. wasn't for comedy maybe you would have. been in corporate, right? No, I would. not never. I I couldn't survive in that. world. I couldn't do it. Uh that was not for. me.
What was the plan? There was no real plan. Did you study. anything? I studied English. Wow, that's. a waste. >> THANK YOU. >> [laughter]. >> THANK YOU. AND DO I DO I NOT SPEAK IT BEAUTIFULLY? >> [laughter]. >> Can I tell you? You speak so well. Thank. you. You speak so well. Has anyone told. you how articulate you are? Thank. [laughter] you. You speak very well, John. Very well. That's what 3 years of higher education. will give you. I didn't come in talking.
like this. I left [laughter] that way. Uh no, I wanted I started writing comedy. at college and then I did my first. stand-up gig and it was I imagine how a. drug addict feels when they get their. first taste of something which they know. is now going to alter how they live the. rest of their life. [music]. We're going to continue this. conversation right after this short. break.
>> [music]. >> Do you remember your first joke on. stage? >> Or your first like bit that was like. your. I had a bit about. driving theory tests, I think. I can't. remember exactly what I do and about. EasyJet at the time. Not great jokes, but I remember. >> EasyJet was It was early days of. EasyJet. >> EasyJet back now with that thing? Is it uh. Oh, Jet2 Holiday. Yeah, yeah. I mean. >> Yeah, no. It's so I I. I can't remember. It wasn't. great, but [laughter] the process of the. feeling of it. I knew I was college with.
Richard Ayoade. Do you know who that guy. is? I do know. Yes, yes. So, we wrote. >> Richard with the glasses, with the hair, but in the movies now and stuff. >> Yes. We wrote We wrote uh uh Footlights. together. And we did a. a two-man show. And I remember. walking off. the stage for the first night that we. put our own show on. And thinking, I I I want to do this. I. don't know what that's going to mean. I. don't know where I'm going to be able to. do it. >> But all of a sudden my life became.
quite clear in terms of not how it was. going to turn out, but what I was going. to try and do. And that's a huge gift, isn't it, in many ways? >> the greatest gift of all. >> I remember my dad, years, years later, um. saying, "Oh, I I'm I admire that you. never gave up." And. it only at that point occurred to me. that at some point that would have been. an option. It never even crossed my mind. to give up. Even when from the outside. it must have looked like, "This is not a.
a dignified life that you're building. for yourself here." But I was so happy. in it. It never crossed my mind. >> Where did your funny come from in the. family? Uh I don't I mean, I don't know. Survival. You know, it's it's a pretty. >> is your dad, your mom, your grandfather, your Like who who would you say you have. the closest comedic. >> Probably my dad's dad. But you know, my. my family's from Liverpool, right? And. so that is a city that's been through. some [ __ ]. And that's. the. its main. processing technique was often comedy.
And my my granddad was a really, really. funny guy. A very odd man and loved jokes. >> John Bishop explaining this to me that. Liverpool Liverpool comedian, he was. just like, I was like, "Why are you so". And he And he said, "Honestly," he said, "I'm not even the funniest person in. this place. I just do it. professionally.". >> sure. And it's just it's just a vibe of people. It's It's interesting you say that. because it almost feels like like the. people of Liverpool. things so many [ __ ] things happened to. them that they were like, "We will exist.
in a world of [ __ ] stirring in this. world now.". Do you know what I mean? It's just how. you survive. Gallows humor, right? >> Oh, yeah. Okay. And uh so it's the only. thing that's ever made sense for me. It's the only way I've ever processed. the world is through. laughs. At his funeral, I did uh I was. Yeah, he was I wanted it to be funny. because it felt like for this. if this event isn't funny, this is no. reflection of who he was. That in many. ways in my mind as a kid, he was the guy.
that taught me how to misbehave cuz he. knew it would be funny. Like you You're. sitting at a table, he's like saying, "Just bang your cutlery like this." And. like 2 seconds later I'm in trouble and. he's laughing. He's like, "Oh, I like. the sounds that came out of that mouth.". I've called I've called a big problem in. this room, but this guy's just chuckling. to himself. Oh, what what what do I need. to do to get a little bit more of that? He was your first audience. I like that. >> Yeah. He was the And you know what? The. last time I saw him, I think I've told. this story before, was he was dying in a. an old people's home. And my He was.
definitely not going to be around for. long. And he My dad left to get the car. He. was on the ground floor. And so I just. thought I could leave through the door. or I could like climb There was a like a. little window into a hedge. And I. thought, "Or I could just like climb out. through the window and go through the. hedge." And so I thought, "Ah, [laughter] I'll just I'll just do the. hedge." So, up the window, climb out like scratching. through into the car park. >> [laughter]. >> Those That's the last thing. >> That's the last thing he said to me. And.
those are the last things I heard from. him out of his [laughter] mouth was, "You're an idiot." And I. I remember like hearing it as I'm. scratching through a hedge going, "That. went well.". >> [laughter]. >> I'm glad I did that. Option B was the. right choice. You don't get you're an idiot if you. walk functionally through a door. >> [laughter]. >> WHO WAS THAT? OH, MAN. I LOVE THIS FOR YOU. LIKE IT'S JUST like. it's it's it's it's a crazy journey for. me because like. what I've what I've selfishly always. enjoyed about your career is I've always.
said to people, "You are the pioneer for. my path." You know what I mean? So, when I first came to the US, one thing that was made apparently clear. to me was, "Hey, uh you're nice and everything, but. Americans don't like people with an. accent, especially doing anything in and. around their world. Just. Keep it moving. Let alone speaking about their politics. You can see why, though. Right? Cuz. there. Yeah, there is like it feels like you. earned the right to criticize.
Right? And And they they can. they can be questioned, I think. understandably, Americans, "Where is. this coming from?" And it's it's a sh It. was a shift for me to go often from. you you do this, you do this to we do. this. >> we do this. >> We because I'm an American now, right? Uh and so. I can I can I play with you and we. Uh but there was at least a sense of. ownership. And again, as a British. person, a sense of ownership in a. country has a bit of an asterisk on it. But [laughter].
it did feel like this isn't this isn't. coming from I think. there have been people who've come. like done a smash and grab in America. And there's no real emotional investment. in it. Whereas. that was not the case with me. And I. don't think it was ever going to be the. case with you. >> Yeah, but I but I think at the time the. industry This wasn't people. This is. just the industry going, "Hey, it. doesn't work. Don't even bother." I. remember one of my one of my good. friends, Neal Brennan, the comedian, he. was he said to me, he's like, "Just. leave." We were in a We were in a small. little diner in Denver, Colorado. He had.
been performing at the Improv. I'd been. performing at like a like the Happy. Clap, whatever, you know, like one of. the second type clubs. And he was just. like, "What are you doing here?" He. said, "Just go home.". Go home. I was like, "I'm doing comedy.". He's like, "No, just just He's like, "America won't give it. Just go home.". And I'll never forget Yeah, but you say. that, but I will never forget when. the switch flipped. And it almost. happened at the same time for both of. us. I had done. I think two episodes of The Daily Show, just as a like a pop-in contributor, not.
correspondent. I just contribute and I. leave. Contribute and I leave. >> [clears throat]. >> And someone had asked me, "Would you do. this full-time?" I was like, "No. There's no world where I would do this. full-time. I just can't see the. possibility.". And I was at home. watching TV. and your show came on. And it was the first episode. And it was. about India's elections. And I I remember sitting on the couch. and I went, "Oh. Oh, yeah. I would Oh, I would do I Okay.
Okay." Cuz it was the first time I saw. an American lens on the world, not from. an American, but including America. I was like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. I Okay. That's that's a. possibility.". I was like, "Okay, I would I would I. would do that.". And I genuine I genuinely think I. wouldn't have gotten The Daily Show if. it wasn't for you. Genuinely. Maybe. >> I promise you. Really? >> I'm willing to bet money. Hm. Six How. many months did you do it. guest hosting? Uh three. Just 3 months.
Yeah, just a summer. Just that 3 months. alone. >> Maybe. I think that I think there was. real panic about. Jon ever leaving. And I think at least. it showed that that staff was solid. enough that somebody could do that job. temporarily. I still don't think there. was any confidence that somebody could. do it forever. Like someone could fill in for him in a. panic. I don't think there was. any real institutional confidence at. Comedy Central of, "Oh, great. So, someone else can do it." It was still.
very much his thing. Yeah, but you being. successful even at HBO made people go, "Oh, there's a possibility.". >> that was different. >> know what I'm saying? >> Yeah, cuz I think we what we were trying. to do was stretch the form of it. It. took us a while, but I think what that. Indian election was such a gift for a. first show because to my mind, there was. nothing more interesting happening in. the world that week than the Indian. election. The largest exercise of. democracy in human history. And it was. nowhere on American television, which. was just.
wildly insular. It felt nothing is. happening. that [snorts] in America that was more. interesting this week than what is about. to happen in India. That was almost a gift. From there, we had to kind of get out of our system. that rhythm from The Daily Show where. you're just reacting. >> Yeah, reacting. >> And. uh we did one show that wasn't very. good, I remember, about um. immigration early on that felt like we'd. done like a 10-minute headline that was. really just you could have kind of done.
it on The Daily Show. It was stuff you'd. already seen. It didn't feel good. Luckily, we had I think I I think it's. that I'd shot an interview with Stephen. Hawking that we did after that. And so. that was the main thing that people. thought about. For us, the real. lesson that we learned that day was that. what we wanted our show to be about was. showing people something they hadn't. seen before. Yeah. Cuz it felt like then. you're actually using the extra time. that you got. Otherwise, it feels like.
cheating. It's just doing one show a. week that you could have written in a. day or two, to be fair. Now, we from that lesson on, we extrapolated. our process out so that we're spending 6. weeks on each story. And you're just. juggling them at the same time. >> Yeah, you're just moving them around. And then choosing. >> And you And you can you can force-feed. any story that you like on people then. You can like you have a you earn the. right to have an audience that will. actually sit through something that. sounds unbelievably.
boring like mobile home financing. You. but the moment that you get into it, you. realize how interesting everything is in. You know this. Everything is. interesting. >> Everything is interesting if you know. enough about it, I find. >> Exactly. That's that's literally what it. is. >> just need to give people enough. information about it. for them to be able to find it. interesting. But that takes time. You. need And commercial television, that is. much much harder cuz you need a You can. do any any any duration. >> Yeah, so that is a big difference, right? You It's hard to hold people's.
attention. You. take them on a long narrative story if. you're having to say six, eight, nine. minutes in, we'll be right back. 3. minutes of Twix commercials and they're. like, "I forget where I was.". >> Mhm. So, it's That is why it's much. easier for us to be able to do like. 40-minute-long stories that sound like. they're just in one breath because you. can't leave. I've I've always loved. watching it thinking about how many. enemies you make. in Like sometimes I I genuinely think to.
myself, I go, are there moments where. John. maybe can't get a loan or maybe someone. gives him a less favorable No, because I. I think of like how many times have you. has your show been sued? Uh we've been sued a bunch of. Not a lot of times. We've We've. threatened with lawsuits Um. huge amount. >> Okay, okay. Actual number of lawsuits. is less is one one handful, but we. haven't lost any. That's the key thing. I always I always say to our audience.
>> Undefeated. That's the thing We like it. can be a fraction of albeit relationship. with our lawyers, but I think we have. like a different view of their job cuz I. think what they think their job is is to. stop us getting sued. And I think their. job is to make sure that when we get. sued, we win. Right? And. that that. part of it is everything that I love. When you know you're in trouble, the. company's angry with you, your own. lawyers are angry with you. The only. people that are excited are the people. that you work with. You think And the. audience. And the audience. Yeah, the.
audience cuz they love Everyone loves. watching a car crash. Right? And. it's so much fun to be in that position. And it feels like to me. because it's not commercial, because you. have full freedom of speech as well, that you it is incumbent upon you if. you're lucky enough to be in that. position to push it as hard as you can. So then are you worried at all about all. the mergers and stuff that are coming? >> Oh, sure. But I mean we've This would be. >> Because you your show would be What is.
HBO's under Warner? So, if Warner gets. sold, you would if it was Netflix, you'd. be under Netflix technically or if it. was Paramount, you'd be under Paramount. Comcast would be under Comcast. they. might break it up as well and then. everything could go everywhere. >> And it'll be like tied up in the courts. But this would not be our first merger. Well, with this would be our. >> under AT&T? >> This would be our third merger. How many. have you been around for? We were around. for First, we were taken over Time. Warner was taken over by AT&T. Then AT&T. was taken over by Warner Bros.
Discovery. And now Warner Bros. Discovery is going to be taken over by. company {question mark}. So, we'll see. Mhm. What do you think of the merger? I mean I think mergers are generally. bad. I think you're always hoping for. the least [snorts] bad option. And I. think that like the. key thing for us is to act with enough. of And don't. enough like aggression or confidence. Like I would I will act assuming nothing.
is going to happen. We're not going to. change, right? I think we've been on. We've been behaving the way we've been. behaving. >> Yeah. for. long enough that you can't really reason. with us. So, there's [laughter] no point in doing. that. There's no Yeah, you're not going. to. >> You know what? I just pictured like you. and your team are like that like that. village You know those those stories. that they would talk about like it Every. empire had it. Whether it was the Romans. or the Mongols or whoever it was, and. there would always be this one village. where they went. They went, "You know what? We've.
technically conquered this whole area. Just leave them. Just Just leave them. Just let them do. their thing Yeah, they just It's not. worth it. That's you want to be that. village. You want to be that village so. unreasonable that gigantic corporate. armies just go, "Just leave them alone.". That's all you want. Be enough trouble. that you're too much trouble. >> [laughter]. >> to deal with. Well, I mean again, it's. least bad, right? There's no It's not. like there's good options like as as. played out during mergers. Like you know. these things come with costs. I have yet.
to see a merger that has done well for. the whole Do you know what I mean? Like. it's just almost It's almost like the. only mergers that do well are outliers. Almost every merger doesn't do well. I. don't understand why mergers are still a. popular thing. Yeah, I mean it's. It's going to get tied up in courts cuz. you can't really. that you There are going to be question. marks on all of this, right? It cuz it's. very hard to justify this legally. Now, whether that makes it impossible for it. to happen, that's an open question. But. again, you can't waste time worrying.
about something that you're not going to. listen to anyway. But it feels like they. we we're just going to do what we do. They're going to Whoever they are is. going to have to realize either you. ignore us like that irritating village. or you're going to have to take us. around the back of the woodshed. Do you. miss the stand-up that you used to do? Cuz Uh I do. I love it so much. You You. know, one of my favorite jokes ever is a. joke of yours that I never heard you. tell. that someone told me you told. >> Uh-oh. It was your R. Kelly joke.
The ignition joke. Do you remember that? >> Yeah, what was that? So, the joke I. Crazy that I remember it. It's just one. of my favorite jokes ever. So, it was It. was a the John Oliver joke. And the joke. was um. It was basically you saying um. I hate how my brain chooses what it. wants to remember and what it doesn't. want And I'm paraphrasing everything, but it was basically the premise was, I. hate how my brain chooses what it wants. to remember and doesn't allow me to. choose what I want to remember. Cuz. there's very important things that I. want to remember in the world, you know, like uh the capital of this place or the.
laws and da da da of this place. But. instead, my brain is filled with random. things. Like so for instance, um I went to a CPR class and I learned. how to do CPR. Like they taught me how. to do CPR and there's there's very. specific steps that you have to do, right? Uh I also heard R. Kelly's um. Ignition song, which I know all the. words to. He's like And John was like, "I've never sat down and I've never. learned the words. the words, but I know them all. It's the. remix to Ignition." And he's like, "When. I was at the CPR class,
>> [laughter]. >> they said to me they were like the CPR. technique, the rhythm of it is the same. as the rhythm of Ignition." Yeah, so. what you're doing is is the remix to. Ignition. Ignition Like that's what you. got to be pumping to. And then John was. like, "But now I'm afraid that my brain. will screw me up. I'm going to be on a. plane one day and be like, 'Oh my god, someone's having a heart attack. Someone. Can somebody come?'" And then John's. going to come in there and he'll be like. "Uh I forgot the CPR, but he's like it's. the remix to Ignition.". >> [laughter]. >> Here's the amazing thing. I don't. remember any part of that joke at all, but I do remember.
all the lyrics to Ignition BY R. KELLY. [laughter]. SO, THAT I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S MY joke. or not, but the premise [laughter]. stands up. R. Kelly, by the way, did. Harrods screw him over for any. purchases? They should have. >> Maybe that's their origin [laughter]. story. Maybe that's the the beginning of. it all, right? Is Harrods screws you. over? R. Kelly, like Michael Jackson, is. really the victim when it comes to. Harrods. [laughter]. LEAVE THE OTHER WOMEN AT THE PENTHOUSE. THOSE TWO. BUT YOU. >> [laughter]. >> I MEAN WHY CAN'T THE AL-FAYED FAMILY.
CATCH A BREAK? NO, BECAUSE YOU YOU YOU LOVE YOU love. stand-up. I'm assuming you still love. stand-up, right? [laughter] Yeah, yeah, I still do stand-up. Yeah. No, but you. And you love it. Like you. >> it so much. It's still like it calms me. down like nothing else. I'll do I'll do. it. >> Wait, it calms you down? You. Trevor, I will take that surprise from. anyone but you. >> No, no, no. What No, no. It calms you. down? >> please your head. Fully surprised. Really? You don't find it that way, too? Calming? Yeah. Uh invigorating, I would.
say yes. Calming, no. What Eugene? Mhm. What do you calming What which word. would you use for stand-up? Avoiding. Avoiding? Sure. >> [laughter]. >> But how does stand-up make you feel? Oh, yeah. Um. You know, every time I do stand-up, I'm. like thank god I'm I'm naturally good at. it, but I don't rely on it. Because? Cuz I'd be miserable. Why? If If it's all I had to do, I'd die.
So, when I do it, I'm going I'm not. going to suck. I know that. So, thank. god for that part. >> Okay. But I'm like thank god I don't. have to come back here every day and do. this thing to survive. Huh. >> Ah. So, you That's what I think every. comedian has a different like I don't I. don't hate it. Calm, I don't get, John. No. And I don't get nervous. Cuz when you first said, "Thank goodness. I'm. so preternaturally talented at this,". you sounded like Cristiano Ronaldo at. that point. He wouldn't even get the. reference or he'll think [laughter] he's. just some kind of puppet from the CIA. >> No, no, no. Oh, no, no. Eugene knows.
everyone in football just to troll. people who know football. >> I I Where I Where I understand is that. like the the grind of stand-up, especially when you're starting off, right? Where it is such a slog just to. get by, I am very grateful that. I don't have to do that exclusively, but. I would never. not want to do it at all. Yes. Yeah, but [clears throat] I but I but. I'm saying English thumbed it up nicely. >> [laughter]. >> That's three years. Three years have paid off.
No, but calm I Yeah, calm I don't get. Genuine. So for you it's calming you. >> it yeah, it clears my head like nothing. else. I I think just like the process of. it, the fact it's. you know, it's the. our our show is so collaborative. There. are so many moving parts. There is this. simplicity, a directness to stand up. >> Yeah. That you can't really replicate. Um. it's just it's a. like it's a fundamentally selfish. exercise, right? And there's there's.
something I I love about the. the social side of it, the fact that you. are not socializing. Like you can be an. isolated person among a lot of people. Like you can you're with a lot of people. but you're alone. >> Yeah. Like you're there's a purpose to. your day. You can structure everything. around that. See that. What was your. What What is your stand-up day? What's. your Well, it depend like here I get to. once a month at the Beacon with Seth at. the moment. So that's that's Just a. stand-up day for you. What What is your. stand-up day?
What would you do? I. >> From from the morning from the time you. wake up. What time do you wake up and. then what's your day before you go on. stage? >> you see it it changed over the year. because I had kids. So my body clock is. not what it was. I used to have the. stand-up body clock where I could. happily just sleep past noon and do Now. I Now I'm stuck between two worlds cuz. my body wants to get up at 6:00 when my. kids are getting up. Well, they are. So. I'm kind of up then. So for me doing stand-up right now, what.
I'm really because. I'm not kind of. I'm not in that regular routine. It's. kind of trying to break the routine of. the way my mind works. >> Okay. All right. Okay. Got it. >> The show and structuring the show and. getting it back into So exactly So it's. it's. it's trying to think about jokes in the. the stand-up form which you know, it is. different, right? It's different. There. are things that you jokes you would love. on The Daily Show that you know would.
not work. And similarly, stand-up jokes. that wouldn't work. in the form of The Daily Show. So. yeah, it it's it's really just about. trying to keep my love for stand-up. alive despite the fact I don't get to do. it. enough. Yeah. >> Yeah. I did a whole bunch during the strike. just because it was the best way to. >> there was like now you're off the show. and now you can go out there and you can. get something. >> just scrambled a whole bunch of dates. and did a lot of That was the most I've. done it. So for a few months I was out. constantly cuz it felt like it was the.
only way that I could you know, help. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> staff pay but also just the only way. that it was going to stop my head from. exploding. Are your kids funny? Yes, they are. Thank goodness. That God, THAT WOULD BE HARD. >> [laughter]. >> DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN THEY ASKED. CRISTIANO RONALDO? THEY'RE LIKE um your. son's really good at foot Do you think. he'll be as good as you? And he was. like, "No.". He's like, "No, I don't think he'll ever. be as good as me.". He's like, "He'll never be as good as. me. He's not focused. He drinks. Coca-Cola. He won't be as He's just like. full I was like, "Yo, bro." Not even.
like a yeah, he has it in him. He's. like, "Nah, bro." He's like, "This kid, nah. He doesn't have it in him to be the. best." Yeah, but at least he didn't lie. Yeah, we have one kid that's been lied. to and he's in the NBA now. Wow. Who Who are we talking about? >> Wow. Who are we talking about, Trevor? Who are we talking about? Let's not see. here. Who are we talking about? Oh. I'm. not going to engage in your. shit-stirnness at all. >> In a cup? At all. >> Not even in a plastic cup. >> At all. Shit-stirring in a plastic cup. >> At. >> Not even ceramic. >> At Just plastic cup. >> No charm.
>> Wooden spoon. Zero. Nada. Are you trying. to bring Trevor into a high-profile NBA. This guy's trying to bring me into. beefs. That's what Eugene tries to do. You're trying to suck him all the way. into a beef. >> This guy's trying to bring me into. beefs. >> the way you said suck him. >> [laughter]. >> It was Suck him into. >> into. Yeah, but that's what stuck out. cuz. Say it again. Suck him Yeah, but your. suck him is Your suck him is strong. I. will not going to lie. [laughter]. That it felt that felt so It felt like. there was suction involved there. That. felt like a vacuum you were trying Your. suck him is strong. I will say that. After I said that I just said, "This.
this this remix [laughter] too. explicit.". Hard and straight out the kitchen. Mama, what a song. >> By the way, by the way. Is Daniel Kitson going to come do more. comedy on this like I hope so. I hope. so, yeah. I mean, he's the greatest. >> That's one of your favorite comedians, no? I heard his name from you for the. first time. He. He's You guys You guys are very close. friends. >> was my best man at my wedding, yeah. He's my. >> So, you know what's funny is like I feel. like you and Daniel have a relationship. like me and Eugene. Where we have a. relationship. This is what I'm talking about, you see? I love it. See what you just did there?
So, like it's where where two people. meet, you're similar but you're not the. same. You have like a comedic. undercurrent that connects you. When I. met Daniel, I felt like I knew him. because of you. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, but. >> Daniel [clears throat] Kitson is in my. opinion greatest comedian that most. people do not know. But if you know comedy you he he has to. be in like your top five. >> Yeah, he's very good. When did you see. him? Everywhere I could. Everywhere I could. Australia. >> Oh, sure. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Melbourne.
He's the guy who loves late shows. He he. Yeah, but. again, the myth around him is people I. don't I don't know if you've heard any. of these people be like, "Oh, the Daniel. Kitson. He does a shows at 12:01 or. 11:59. because he likes how the how the Yeah, and you're like, "Wait Wait." They're. like, "He does a show at 12:03. midnight." And you're like and I heard. all these myths about him. Or he only does a show at 1:00 p.m. because he wants real comedy fan. him. and I was like, "Yo, man, I have to ask. you about some of these myths. I'm.
sorry.". And then Daniel was just like He's like, "Oh, I. I put the show on at 12:03 because then. it's the next day. Otherwise, if you put. it midnight, it screws up most booking. systems. So he's like, "That's why I did. that." Yeah, it's there's much more. practical thing. I think I think there's. it's a bit of a hangover from the fact. that when he won the Perrier Award, you. know, the big award in Edinburgh, I. think that that came with. >> d'Or of Yeah, it is. That's right, see? Yeah, it's the Ballon d'Or of comedy. Right? >> [laughter]. >> And then I imagine you think you have to. pay for it somehow. Is that right? Yep. [laughter].
If Gotye has their way Yeah, when when. he won that, all of a sudden he was. finding there were people coming to his. shows that he didn't necessarily want. there. >> Oh. >> the commercial success. Well, he did No, yeah, he wanted He wanted to do his show. the way he wanted to do it. He didn't. want people there who he didn't want. in his audience. This makes complete. sense. >> he needed to get rid of some of that by. making it more difficult for them to. watch. >> than it necessarily needed to be to.
come. So it was a filtering system and. it worked because the Perrier back then. it was. such a gravitational force as an award. All of a sudden you were plunged into a. certain kind of career and he did not. want that. So that came with a need to. do things his own way. >> the fact that he chose that. That's. That's what I feel like with you in some. ways is like I don't know if you have. the. >> You No, you have the choice though. No, but you have this thing where. How can I put it? So.
some people. >> [clears throat]. >> are famous. because of what they do and they love. that fame. Yeah. Right? And then there. are other people. who have jobs that are just attached to. fame. and if they could, they would slice that. out of their lives. That's how I feel. about you. Like you you have a very like. even if even if you win an award, you. have a very like. There's like a There's a There's a. >> I cannot wait to get off because it's. the weirdest place to be and it's not a.
funny place to be. So I cannot wait. The. only thing I like is when they play you. off. >> [laughter]. >> I don't know I love I'd love the feeling. of being played off an award ceremony. So that you see I love it so [laughter]. much. The thing that I I just It's just It's. such an absurd situation to have. >> [laughter]. >> to be interrupted by an orchestra. It's. just I love it. >> [laughter]. >> But wait, okay, but help me help me. understand it. What What is it about. cuz everyone has a different reason. That's why I'm interested. What is it. about.
the fame or the spotlight or the. anything that just like makes you just a. little I don't like the fame. Yeah, I. don't like it. It's not. I don't like I I'm very. conscious of the fact that. because. because our show has become well known, I am the face of that show. >> Yeah. And so there are things that you. can do with that in terms of protecting. your ability to say what you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. to a corporation that.
employs you. To go Yeah, you can do whatever you. want. So though. the the value of it. is extreme there. The That's the utility. of fame as you as you put it is that you. can do what you want in your show. Everything else around it I I it is not. for me. I don't feel have any kind of real. connection connection to it at all. That's the comic's curse, right? You. want people to love you but you want. them to love you at your own terms. Or. you want them to love what you do, I. would even say. Yeah, but they have to.
love you cuz there's nothing else to. distract them from you. But they feel. like it's two different I was talking to. this little girl in my um uh my kids my. kids' class. >> [laughter]. >> She was. she was a. she was she's at my kids' school and she. was I think that with at the start of a. season. we'd had like pictures We had posters on. the subway. And so she was very confused. about like why is there a picture of you.
on the subway? And so I was trying to. explain to her, "Oh, I just do. uh I I just do a show and so they're. trying to advertise that show." And that. she went, "I don't know what that. means." Well, "Oh, I just uh I I do I do. a TV show and so uh we need people to. know about it." And so then she said, "Are you famous?" Well, "I don't think. I'm famous cuz you're asking me this. question." So [laughter] I don't think. I'm. I I I It likes the people that What. there's a. some people watch the show, most people. don't. So those people do know me, no.
one else knows. And you know, you don't need to you know. me, right? You know me as Mazie's dad. So there's nothing. you don't need to worry about this. And. she said, "I'm not worried about this at. all." She's [laughter] worried about. Mazie. Like she was I don't know what's. happening to YOU RIGHT NOW. I JUST ASKED, "WHY IS THERE a picture?". [laughter]. You're having an existential crisis in. front of you. I'm 6 years old. How am I. the MATURE PERSON. >> [laughter]. >> HERE? I JUST ASKED.
OH, MAN. >> Have Have you had the fame conversation. with your kids? Do your kids know how. famous you are? No, I would initially. >> How old are your kids now? >> Initially I didn't. They're 10 and 7. now. Initially I didn't because there's. no need to, right? And so I would if I. just ran into people in the street like. I would say, "Who's that?" And I'd say, "Oh, that's just a friend." Like after. after some little time. It works out. Then you realize hold on, New York, what. a friendly city. Everyone says I'm. [laughter]. Actually, that's not the city that you. live in. So then I and I didn't want to lie to.
them. Like I didn't want kids at school. to know things they didn't. That was the problem when you realize, "Oh, I think there are other kids that. know." They have figured it out. Yeah, they figured it out. The jig is up. You're giving the only ones who don't. Yeah, something's being kept from me. I. didn't want that to be the case. So I. kind of explained to them as best I. could. They came to see one show the one. thing that I thought that would be fun. for them to see was when we were messing. with that New Zealander bird of the year. contest. Did you see him about that? I. was dressed up like the Pūteketeke. So. I'm like in this huge colorful bird.
>> how you chose your kids to see you? >> Yes. This is the only time they've been. to my work. I'm dressed like a giant. >> colorful bird. And then I realized that in their heads, understandably, they think that's. happening every week. They think I'm. >> [laughter]. >> They think I'm BIG BIRD. THAT SUIT IS IN YOUR CAR. AND THAT'S. YOUR UNIFORM. 6 months later, like I'm. going to work and they said, "How did. you get the bird costume on?" What bird. costume? OH, [ __ ]. >> [laughter].
>> YEAH, THAT WAS THAT WAS JUST A ONE-OFF. I just [laughter] I just wear a suit. But it's hard it's hard it's impossible. for kids to understand cuz it's not. It's It's important for them to like. know what you're doing, but the more you. describe it, the worse it sounds. It's just a It's It's It's Yeah. It's weird. Mhm. But I I I found if you explain it to. kids like. using class dynamics, they get it.
Huh. Because they have their pictures up. on walls. The people know the class. captain. People Do you get what I'm. saying? Then they sort of What did you. tell your daughter? What did you Yeah. Whose daughter is this? Is it the daughter for the show that. we're going to fictitiously. >> [laughter]. >> Are they twins? Whose daughter is this? I didn't. I haven't [laughter] acknowledged that. And you know that. You're bringing that. up. You're returning fire [laughter] cuz. of that NBA thing. Oh, man.
>> trying to suck me into some [ __ ]. Who is this guy? >> [laughter]. >> Which two daughters. is this? No, what What did you What did. you say? I think I didn't have to say much. because we spent so much time together. Obviously when people recognize you, they would recognize you from the thing. that you do. Mhm. So my thing was always. denying it. Mhm. And say we look alike. and she'll be like, "No, it's him.". So I. >> [laughter]. >> Oh. So that's when people would be like, "Eugene Yeah, that's what I don't like. >> describe stand-up I don't. Yeah, cuz all. I said was they came to when I was down.
at last December I was doing the Kennedy. Center. So they [clears throat] I came. and I said, "I'm going to this where I'm. going to go and do my talk." I just said. like I'm just going to stand and talk. into this microphone cuz that makes. sense because they talk Yeah, they talk. in front of the class. Exactly. Yeah. So. I said, "I'm just going to be doing like. I think that just confuses them even. more. I I think your daughter relates more to. your television work than your stand-up. work. Why? >> Because that's that's the real thing. There's more people that she sees on. television than she'll ever see doing. stand-up. So stand-up will never be a. thing.
It's a thing that you. >> Until they're old enough, then it's. Yeah. But then they'll understand that. stand-up is the thing that got you the. TV job. Yeah, that's why I don't say. it's stand-up. I say it's just talking. cuz you can they they can understand the. concept of talking in front of a. classroom. Makes sense. You stand on a. chair. and you talk to people and they say. >> they. they teach us tens and talks and he's. poor. >> [laughter]. >> So they. The jig is up. So you think I said The. remix to Ignition now. >> [laughter].
>> I told THAT SONG IS STICKY. IT NO, IT IS. It really is. That is. about as catchy as music has ever been. Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce No, that that thing is just like No, mama. rolling that body got every man in the. Look at this. Look at this. I'm not sober. I'm drunk. It's the. freaking weekend. Baby, I'm about to. have me some fun. Anyway, he's a. terrible human being. You have to say that at the end You just. say I used to talk about you all the. time. It's gay talk.
I'd love to know what you think of the. biggest. existential crises that like America. slash the world is facing now. Are you ready to take a sip? I really hope that is a question you. just ask all your guests. >> No, it's just you. Like if if you could. have one meal for the rest of your life. Yeah, I told you That that kind of [ __ ]. No, no, just you. Well, here's here's. the little CLASSIC JOKE. WHAT'S THE. biggest [laughter] existential crisis of. Oh, okay, Trevor. Just say you want us to go. >> [laughter]. >> I'll tell you Okay, can I tell you why?
Can I tell you why? I'll tell you why. So. I'll ask you the question because I. remember when I was. fully immersed in The Daily Show, my worldview was shaped in many ways by. everything I was reading in and around. that space. Do you get what I'm saying? So if you asked me at that time, I think. I would have said something. politics related etc. etc. You You get. what I'm saying? Because I was so fully. engulfed by this world. Yeah, fully. fully fully. If you ask me now because I spend.
most of my fun time reading about like. monopolies and and corporations, I'll. actually say that's the thing and you. know that's about me. That No, that is. like my fun time. It's that pickleball and then football. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. You got You should be doing. pickleball for another 35 years, shouldn't you? You You play pickleball now? Yeah. I. love it. I love it. That's why I play. pickleball. Really? I love it. He lives there. It's. fantastic. >> day he dragged me there for 4 hours. Only one day? I've dragged you there.
many days, my friend. Many You know what. I love about you though is you don't. seem to learn the lesson. I. >> [laughter]. >> I really love this about you, Jean. The. first time he came along, he was standing on the side and he was I. I watched him at some point the first 5. minutes he was like, "Okay." And then I. saw him look. You You almost look like a parent who. had brought their child to an activity. and then they were like, "How long do I. have to stand up obligation?" I thought. decent people I thought they play a. match and then they go home. No. Remember all organized sport has a time. limit. Oh, yeah, you're not wrong.
Oh, no, you're not wrong. No, I do like. 4 hours. >> And he's the Kaiser of Yeah, I do like 4. hours. He shouts orders, "LET US PLAY.". I MEAN I I. JUST THINK I'M MOTIVATIONAL. Cleaners. are coming in. Security guards. Everyone. grabs that. >> [laughter]. >> We just have fun, Jean. I have a good. time. Have you played pickleball, Jean? No, I haven't played pickleball. Have. you played pickleball, Jean? I did play. pickleball once. And did you? I thought. it was fine. Fine, eh? Yeah, I thought. it was fine. Yeah, it is fine. It's fine. and then the more you get Okay, sorry, Trevor. But it doesn't do to me what it. does to other people. It would be like.
taking heroin and going, "This takes the. edge off." Football I love. >> [laughter]. >> Do you still play football? Football. Yeah, we used to play Tuesday every. every I don't play now. I don't play cuz. there's no time now. Just family and. work. I just don't have time now, but I. that I that Not even like to squeeze in. like an hour? Nothing? I have no nothing. Oh, man. I. thought it would be like knees or. something. No. >> [laughter]. >> I stopped cuz of knees. Just the concept of knees. Just knees in general. I was seeing too. many of them. No. [laughter]. I would go home AND HAVE THESE THOUGHTS.
ABOUT knees and I was just like knees. everywhere. I just need just I can't. Oh, there's just 22 of them buried down. there. >> [laughter]. >> It was No, no, I especially running on. AstroTurf it killed me. I just I was. like I can't do this. I I played at Pier. 40 Oh, nice. Yeah, we'd play like a. midnight game. And then we'd go That was the hardest. episode of The Daily Show every week. >> [laughter]. >> Because we would finish a game. Oh, yeah. midnight 1:00 a.m. Oh, yeah. >> 8:00 a.m. you're in the office trying to. concentrate on what Mitch McConnell is.
saying. You just got knees. Just knees. in your head. That's all I have. No, so. so yeah, you I've brought I've brought. him along a few times. Yeah, and but the the reason I'm saying. Yeah. You're not wrong. I did take it too far. that day. You're not wrong. And I did. apologize at the time. You're behaving. like you're on steroids. >> But I even said to you. I even said to you I'm sorry. Did I not. say I'm sorry? I did from. I did say I'm sorry. From the court I. said, "Eugene, I'm sorry. We took it too. far." I did apologize.
But going back, what I'm saying is your. worldview. I find for anyone who spends a lot of. time consuming information in certain. spaces or spheres, they often have a. different perspective on what they think. is. most dangerous for the world in that. moment. You know what I mean? And so I'm wondering cuz you you're. reading everything. You're engaging. You're doing You're doing research. You know what I mean? You're consuming. so much. I think my my worldview might. be related to that. So rather than. because. obviously mergers are a. constant threat and the most immediate.
one is always the most immediate threat. Like land disputes around the world are. everything from like horrific in the. medium term to you know. systemic in the long term. Right? I think like the in terms of. a threat being existential, one of the. biggest problems right now is. the kind of information that is. available to you to get. That feels to. me like an existential threat.
What constitutes because. people are so siloed now and are so able. to traffic in low-grade. information. One of the big things that. I've learned by doing our show. is that there is a huge amount of. utility in having access to experts in. field that researchers will speak to and. you can get good primary source. information. There is so much trash being passed. around and confidently passed around. I.
worry about that. It is hard to have a. conversation about anything when the. information about that thing is so poor. That is my concern. Feels like in the. past, people just didn't know about. certain things. Now. they can be confidently wrong about. something which I actually think is more. dangerous. So. uh. that is my. I guess that would that is what would. come to mind in terms of an existential.
threat. I just. I I worry about our information funnels. right now. Yeah, the analogy I I used to. use with some people is I'd say. it's it's it would be the equivalent of. people watching sports, whatever sport. you want, and you have opposing teams, or you choose your teams. People already disagree on the game. That should have been a foul. That. shouldn't have been a foul. That But. imagine if they were watching two. different games. >> Yes, right. How would you even. >> That's the problem. Do you know what I. mean? Now now we're not even watching. the same game.
>> And we're supposed to live in the same. stadium. But we're literally not watching the. same game. >> That's the thing. So then then any kind. of shorthand of oh we just need to come. together. Any of that like Joe Biden, this is not who we are. I think you are. so far off. addressing. the central problem here that this is. functionally useless. What would you. change? Uh I I don't know. I it it feels. like it's something that societally is. going to have to change. There's. There's going to have to be a premium. put on good information. So where do you. get your information? Well, again, like.
that that's where we are very lucky and. this is not scalable. I have a staff who. can go out and speak to. experts for weeks, produce a packet of good information. They can update. They can They can They. can find out is this data still current? So often you're passing around data in. maybe in good faith doesn't apply. anymore. You don't know. Yeah, you don't. know that that that study's been that. study's been updated. Yeah, yeah. >> anymore. It's very difficult. That so I think.
that that kind of. information literacy is something I. think people are going to have to get. better at. This generation of kids are going to be. better, I hope, are going to be better. at seeing through the garbage than older. people are now. Do you think AI makes it. better or worse? >> I mean, we'll see. We'll see. It's. eminently seems like it's making things. significantly worse, but I I hope that. long-term there are ways to fix that. But um yeah, the.
again, the kind of unearned confidence. of these billionaire AI cowboys is not. inspiring. >> unearned confidence. >> Oh god, yeah. It is pretty I mean. it's a that's a that's a perfect way to. describe it. Because they approach a situation that. they have never been in with the. confidence of someone who has lived. there for a century. They They make it. seem like they exist in the future that. they're preaching and they they they're. selling it to us as if it's already. concluded in a good way. Or just they're. making. decisions on a series of best-case.
scenarios. >> Yeah. That's that feels like. fatally problematic. I think there was a. story about. Kumail Nanjiani when he was doing that. show Silicon Valley. They would go up to. Silicon Valley and walk around and like. into these companies, these startup. companies, and he would ask them kind of. you know. what though if how could this be used. for fascism? Just just in general. And. he would like see them go oh yeah, we. don't really think about that here. Like. oh, you don't. That's interesting. Feels. like something you might want to think.
about. How could your product be used. [clears throat] to hurt people? That. might be part of the decision process. you want to fold in to all of this. There's a there's a book I read about. Have you read um the book Careless. People, I think it is. It's a a book written by um this woman. from New Zealand who basically started. working at Facebook as a. as a sort of like international liaison, like their diplomat. And she talks about. how. even when Facebook was starting to. become the de facto social media.
platform around the world, they did not think they needed to care. about how their platform could be used. >> Right. Like they were just like no no. no, that's not our that's not us. That. That We have nothing to do with this. >> the most obvious example. So bring the. world together. Bring to. share information. All of those eyes. next thing you know, what's happening in. Myanmar? Oh, that can't be anything to. do with us. Oh, it's very much to do. with you. You've just thrown gasoline over what. was happening. >> Yeah. So now what are you going to do. about it? Oh, well, you know, we're. going to learn. Are you or is that just. something you can say you're going to. do? Yeah. >> That's it's Yeah, it's a That that is.
what I'm concerned about. Do you keep. your kids off social media everything? >> Do they have phones? Nope. How How do you How do you deal with. that? Well, that's easy now. They're 10. and 7, right? So they're not really. going anywhere that I'm not. as well. I have them all the time. >> [laughter]. >> Prison warden. And but it is it is amazing how often. now even my 7-year-old he basically. treats me like Siri. He'll just say look. it up, type it in, type it in. [laughter] You asked for that job. That's right. He'll pick the best Peter.
Alonso. He'll type it in. HEY SIRI. HEY DADA. Hey Dada. [laughter]. Hey Dada. What I also like about this. though is I'm assuming she has an. American accent. Oh, yeah. So you're. like her English butler essentially. It. is You know what is odd is. you never. You must If you don't have the same. accent as your child. That is the. It's the craziest thing that was that it. didn't occur to me that they would not. You When When you grow up the idea of. having kids, you always. think they'll sound like you. So it is.
odd the first time it hits your ear. And they're they're around for a while. not speaking, right? So it feels like oh. yeah, this is [laughter] this is going. to be a hello, how you doing? Oh, nice. to see you. That's coming out one day. And then yeah, and then the first time. you catch them saying hey, how's it. going? Nice to see you. What. any kind of like. American R. And you go OH OH. >> [laughter]. >> OH YEAH, of course. That makes sense. You're going to sound like the people. that you're around all the time. But And.
even better for them is they've got the. immigrant dad. Cuz [clears throat] you realize for them. Yeah. In your head you're normal. Right? For the most part in your head. you're normal. >> [laughter]. >> In their In their world when they grow. up, they're going to be American kids. and they're going to be like oh yeah, oh. my god. I remember my dad always be like. oh oh are you going to put that away? Are you going to put that Like you are. That is when you really realize that. American accent [laughter] is when they. do it when they do a shift when they're. doing an impression of me. Hey Dad, you.
know how Dad is? He's all oh you got to. put YOUR TOYS AWAY. LIKE HEY [laughter]. hey hey hey hey. We're getting a little confident with. that accent. It's okay when I do that. voice. >> [laughter]. >> It's not Don't give me the Dick Van Dyke. VERSION OF THIS. IT'S TRUE. DO THEY DO THEY GET TO GO BACK to. England? Do they spend time there? Yes. They love it there. So yeah, they How. long do they spend? Like how would you. like do the thing of shipping them off. for like 6 weeks or No, we haven't done.
that yet. >> That's a South African thing. No, I. think a lot of people do that. A lot of. people around the world. Like ship off. kids for 6 weeks? Yeah, like I find I. find people yeah, people come from. another country. It doesn't matter where. they they'll be like oh, my kids are. going to Colombia for 6 weeks or South. Africa they're going to go back to South. Africa. They're going to go back to. England for like the summer period. >> What are they hoping it's going to do? Oh, cuz summer's so long here. Yes, that's the thing. Like cuz we have like. in our our summer holidays in England. were like 5 weeks. 5 and 1/2 No no no, here summer's 9 weeks in total. Here. it's like 2 months. Months and months. Yeah. So people will send their kids if.
they come from a place and they can send. their kids back. They'll just be like. oh, the kids are back in wherever. My friends Some of my friends are like. oh, the kids go to Trinidad and they go. there for like months in the summer. holidays. >> Oh yeah, no then And it just gives them. back their you know. So I was wondering. if you do that. What does it give them. back? You know, their vibe. You know what this is? Gyroscope. He He know what this is? Come on, Eugene. >> [laughter]. >> So what's the longest they've gone? The. The longest it's only been like 10 days. It's just taking them back for a week,
walking them around. But I do like I. like. >> [laughter]. >> Walk Yeah, it is walking them around. because you want to see them in the. places you were. Like and they don't. care, man. No, but it was like the thing. that was most meaningful to me was. especially because of the pandemic, right? Where they didn't travel as as. little kids they didn't go so much. So last summer I took them back. I. remember taking them to Dan's house, to. Kison's house. And there was something. very meaningful to me of seeing them on. the stairs outside his house, on the. couch where we would play FIFA. And to.
see them sitting in that place, in his. world, that really made me feel like you. know, when you as an immigrant you. you're fractured, right? There are. little parts of your life everywhere. So. when you when some of those. things combine, it can really give you a. sense of oh, this makes sense. Look. That is so beautiful. Do they play FIFA? No, they haven't done yet. They don't. have phones. Yeah, but you might have a. console. What do you mean? Yeah, they. don't have a console. They absolutely support Liverpool. That.
is the one thing that is non-negotiable. Oh, so you haven't given them a choice. They can choose. No, they can choose everything I wasn't. given a choice. My dad said you we. support Liverpool. I went okay. That's fine. I'm always torn on this. I feel like. some some I feel like parents maybe. should give their kid an option to say. hey, this is the team I support. I'm. going to let you watch other teams and. then you decide if you also want to. support this team." I. I technically gave him a baseball team. option, but I think I did like thumb the. scale. I just said, "Do you want to. support the Mets? >> [laughter]. >> The Mets?
The New York Mets? Or you want TO. SUPPORT THE. OH, I'LL SUPPORT THE METS. THERE YOU GO. GREAT. WE [laughter] GOT. IT. WE GOT IT. SO, you technically had a choice. You. had a choice. We'll be right back after the short. break. >> [music]. >> How much of a Liverpool fan do you think. you are? Like how much How many How many of your. of your hour like your thinking hours do. you think are consumed? >> Ooh, thinking hours is such a good way.
to put that because you know, the the. honest answer to that is like it's you. know, whenever your mind is at rest, it's going there. So, you can really. rack up the hours then if you're. thinking about happy thoughts, sad. thoughts, anxious thoughts like right. right now I'm thinking about Mo going to. AFCON and how he's going to do over. there. You wish him well? I do wish him. well. Of course, I wish him well. Yeah. I I wish I also wish he didn't have to. go cuz now I feel like he just got back. to a good place with the team. >> doesn't go and represent the continent.
that he comes from? Don't you put that. You see you trying to start beef You see. you and the beef. You see you. You see. you now? Wait, is this because I took. you to pickleball? Just say it, Eugene. Don't don't don't four-hour marathon. Is. that No, no, no, no. It's around the. fourth hour you were talking. Just We just got back to. to declare war on Egypt. [laughter]. No, we just we just got back to. I wish the timing was different because. we we just got like you it felt like oh, him, his smile, the team, the coach, the.
win. We needed it. But maybe doesn't he. need to go home to refresh and come back. happier? I don't know if AFCON refreshes. you. Here's my conclusion. >> on a selfish level wait before you go. Can you do an episode on Manchester. City? What about the fact it's a beautiful. team built on blood money? >> [laughter]. >> My man. Have you heard about Harold selling. Michael Jackson? >> [laughter]. >> I can't come I'm now I'm going to TAKE. THAT BACK. UM NO, WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO ASK HIM? NO, NO, I WAS GOING to say whenever I. watch people who love football,
especially. top level football, I'm thinking to. myself in that field there's a bunch of. foreigners. Mhm. Right? With their lives. who've left their homes who get. incentivized very well to play for this. team for our amusement and the sponsors. obviously. um payback. But life happens. They get. injuries, they move on. The Mo Salah. thing happens. So, in all this time of. being a fan of an individual inside a. team institution, you've never thought. they'll have to one day be put to. pasture or move on to some other things?
>> No, I think you know it's ephemeral, right? Which is why you do try and enjoy. [clears throat] it so much when it's. happening. You don't expect. victory or pleasure. from football. You kind of know you're. it's a much more complicated. relationship and you know that you. should. it take the joy when you get it and you. should you know, absorb the stress, the. anxiety and the misery when it comes. You know that that. even with Mo you know it's. We love this guy Jürgen Klopp, right?
The coach. Yeah, it was clear that was. never going to last forever. There was. not going to be like a long Alex. Ferguson run. He's always just done. these 10 years. One of the many many. ways in which he's a unique man is he. would have these unique intense periods. with the club. So, you knew it was not. going to be forever, which is why it. meant every second of it meant so much. cuz you know it's going to come to a. close. And I think I felt the same with Mo. You. know it's. when you know that something's not going.
to last forever, all you want is. the best possible ending for the thing. that's meant so much to you and you want. that for him as well. He deserves a good ending Mhm. to. Liverpool whenever that ending is and it. shouldn't be now because this would not. be one. What would a good ending look. like for cuz I love I love Mo Salah. I. love his new haircut. Mhm. I love his. fade. >> Mhm. I think he's evolved quite well. with it. So, I'm like, "Okay, this man. changed his hairstyle. He's changed many. [clears throat] people's lives." How. would you like his career to end? >> You led with You led with that with Mo.
Salah. You led You led with he's He. changed his haircut. He changed so many. lives. First [laughter] for him then for you. all. >> to like Sure. First for him and then for you all. >> [laughter]. >> You say MO MO SALAH BEING CHANGED right. now in Egypt. He goes single-handedly. changed how Muslims were viewed. >> [laughter]. >> You go, "Yeah, he changed his hair that. one time.". And I think at the end of the day that's. what we'll remember. It was big and then. it was [laughter] tight. Anyway, Mo, thanks for everything you've.
done. That literally sounds like how. Trump would describe it. If you ASK TRUMP YES. CUZ YOU KNOW LIKE. he never admits that he doesn't know. [laughter] anything. Yes. So, if you. said Absolutely. "President Trump, what. do you think about the Mo Salah thing?". He'd be like, "You know, Mo Salah did a. lot of things, lot of things. Big guy. did a lot of things. Had the hair. changed the hair. Changed the hair. That's right. It was big. Changed a lot. of lives, lot of lives. Changed the. hair. It was [laughter] big then it. became small then it became small. I. love that good guy. It just seems like he's going bald. One. trip to Turkey. We all know what he did. >> [laughter]. >> We all know what he did. What would that.
What What would the have cuz I watched. the game on over the weekend where he. did that assist and then the goal went. in and then my friends were happy. They. were all jubilant and I was happy with. them cuz I'm that kind of guy, you know, I share in my friends' pleasure. But then when you say you want an ending. for him that's befitting. Yeah, but that. was what I was worried about. Without. that game, I was worried that we were. hurtling to the opposite of that. We. were hurtling towards an ugly ending. that was in no way representative of. everything that he's done for that club. and for his hair. >> not starting the game obviously made it.
worse, right? It made it much worse. because I think he felt like he had been. snubbed that he was not his work what he. had done. His contribution. His. contribution follicly and. with football. Follicles matter more. was not. was not being respected. I don't know if. he was entirely wrong about that to be. fair. He wasn't playing particularly. well, but I think there did It was not. wrong to infer a level of disrespect. from it. So, yeah, I was desperate for. that situation. to be. handled and diffused because the idea of.
it ending that way would have hurt, I. think, lastingly. He He is a singular. figure. and [clears throat] it feels like. generally statues should not be built. for footballers. Not just because they. can be embarrassingly bad like that one. Ronaldo one, but. but but because I even know that one. of. They are overpriced in so many ways, but. what Mo has done transcends football. What how he carries himself as a human.
being transcends football and I just. didn't want it to end badly. And I hope it doesn't now. Yeah, the. I would say it like this. It's. whether sports or not, just think about. the moment you get to say goodbye to the. thing that you are part of. And the. thing that you are part of turning into. a success. Right. Whether you're at your office and you're. leaving. It's nice to be able to have the cake, have everyone come around, say goodbye, say the versus. people coming on Monday and you're just.
not there. What happened? Yeah, gone. Where's the desk? Gone. That's not an ending. You know, that's. what it felt like it was about to be, by. the way. And that that felt wrong. That. felt like there was going to be. there were going to be hard questions to. answer if that was the way it ended. >> Yeah, no, it wasn't it wasn't going to. be. >> Cuz he did definitely deserves much more. than that. I actually I I he was here in. New York for the Time 100. Do you Wait, you were there that night, too, right? >> Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was. No, I was. there. Yes. He had a game like on. Tuesday. Remember he was just in for the.
night. Wait, we cuz we. When did we We went to a game I remember. the game that we went to. Do you. remember? Yes. That's right. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was. >> are flooding back. It you know, it was. it because I was it was my one time that. I was I didn't have any I have nothing. to say to Jürgen Klopp. I just wanted to. see him. Then Big Virg, he walks out, he. sees Trevor, says Trevor looks at me and he says, "All right, Zazu." I went, "Excuse me?". >> [laughter]. >> EXCUSE ME, VIRG?
DO. DO YOU DO YOU DID YOU know that I'm the. new Zazu or do you think I'M ROWAN. ATKINSON? >> [laughter]. >> I'LL take either, by the way. I'M HAPPY. WITH EITHER. WHEN. WHEN I WAS WITH WHEN I WAS WITH MO AT. THE TIME 100, I remember I was trying to. say to him. what he meant to me. Stumbling my way through it and he's. like listening in his patient way and. then he said, "Do you know Khaleesi?" I.
WENT, "WHAT?". >> [laughter]. >> MOTHER OF DRAGONS. >> YEAH, I SAID OH MY GOODNESS. And yeah, and he said, "Khaleesi's over there. Can. you please introduce me to Khaleesi?". >> [laughter]. >> Mo. Oh man. If that's If that's what you. want, then I will give that to you. That. will be my gift to you. >> [laughter]. >> What did you do? Khaleesi, mother of. dragons. Khaleesi, MOTHER OF DRAGONS, MO. >> [laughter]. >> I genuinely love how in life. we all have. >> [laughter]. >> Do you know what I mean? Yes. You're.
there going, "Nothing could be bigger. than Mo Salah in this room.". >> Yes. Yes. Oh my god. >> Salah's going, "I hear you, British man, but I I hear you. I tolerate you. But you know Khaleesi. Yeah. Because It. goes to your point cuz I want to be the. stepfather of dragons. Yeah, but but. also [laughter] in in in my world I'm. going. I can only assume that the games are not. to him what the games are to us. Yeah. So, when you're like, "Ah, what.
you mean to me and what you I'm sure. someone's has done that to you as well. They've come up and be like, "Hey, John, can I just say everything you've done in. my life and what and and now you're What. have I done? And now you're just. standing there. I look at him like do. you KNOW PAULIE WALNUTS? >> [laughter]. >> AND THEY JUST LIKE YOU KNOW. How many seasons have you been running. now? How many years has it been? 13. Do you. see yourself going? I would. >> What would you like your ending to be? >> [laughter]. >> I'll go to the SAUDI LEAGUE PROBABLY.
>> [laughter]. >> ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO? IT FEELS LIKE THERE'S a Saudi League for. comedians now. So yeah, I'll go there. Tell you. >> [laughter]. >> how amazing that would be just seeing. you there pop up randomly one day just. probably full on come out and just be. like Riyadh. Let's talk about the best. city in the world. [laughter] It's just. like John, what happened? >> Well, they got to you. They got to you. Yeah, but it it cuz it must be I don't I. don't know what this is like from your. side. I remember for me.
in many ways I think I I am I felt the. feeling that you were talking about of. of impermanence always with The Daily. Show because in my head it was always. Jon Stewart's show. That makes sense. >> Doesn't it make sense? I was always like. I was like I know who whose car this is. I just know how to drive it well. >> Yep. You know what I mean? It's like living. in your parents' house. Completely. It. is always your parents' house. But I was. like yeah, yeah. And everyone was like. oh it's you've made it yours. I was like. no, no. I've put some of my furniture. I. painted it. >> is my parents' house.
in my brain, you know? So and because because John was my. mentor, you know, as I call him my. Jewish Yoda. It felt like it wasn't his. house. So I'd go like hey John, I. remember once when I even asked him I. was like how did the. the guest interview so short? What are you trying to do there? And he. said oh fill 5 minutes. Oh God. That's. all he said. I was like oh. Cuz like I'm really struggling to. get to the crux of somebody in in this. like four five minute segment. What do.
you what do. what are you trying to do there? And he. was like oh I was trying to fill 5. minutes. I could not do those things. That was the one part of that job I. could never do was talk to someone I had. no interest in whatsoever. So it was the. actors was the problem for me. Yeah, you. struggle with that. >> Oh man, that was tough. >> Yeah, you struggle with that. It was I just I run out of things to say. so quickly. I remember once I was. talking to one actor. And I would look at Spinny sometimes the. floor manager to see like he would say.
how long you got left. And I looked over. to him as if to say are we are we good? And he said you've been GOING 1 MINUTE. >> [laughter]. >> 60 HUMAN SECONDS AND I was all out of. questions. >> Is that why you just cut guests out of. your show? Yeah, it was. We built a we built a. whole. >> to remember you had a you had a guest. section. Yeah, yeah, I remember the. guest area. Yeah, I thought the whole. >> First season you had the guest area. >> Yes, because I felt like you were. supposed to. >> Have a guest. >> Have a guest. That was the all the only. thing I knew about American late night. shows was you.
anything can happen, but there has to be. a guest. It's got to be someone else. And to their credit HBO after the our. two test shows that we did just said You. know, you don't have to have someone. You don't have to talk to anyone at the. end if you want. You can just like Was. it that bad? One I think it was that. bad. I think it genuinely was that bad. And two that changed everything for me. like oh I can have that 6 minutes and we. can make the story longer. Oh, I'll do. that in a second. And so that was the thing I'm massively.
grateful for for them to. kind of save me from myself because. otherwise I absolutely felt like I need. to have a guest every week. But I think. you had a good question. >> that. Sorry, sorry John. You had a good. question there about how you'd want to. see your ending because I think. >> cuz sorry. I have sympathy for sports. people. They give so much of their. lives. They start very very early. >> Yes, that's so difficult. >> milestones. That's all they know for. such a long time. I sometimes wish for them that won't. they want to retire at their at their. prime of their human lives not of their. sporting lives where they can have.
families. They can. they can also be rubbed out of the. zeitgeist of of of that side of their. life and then people will not recognize. or know them as much, you know? Yes. Don't you wish that for Mo Salah? It. must be so difficult. It must be so. difficult. because it's amazing to think that that. part of your your whole life has been. built on this one thing. It's over and. you're 37 years old. That's a young age. to be. >> to retire. >> for everything to have stopped. It's no. wonder that there can be big problems in. terms of what you want the rest of your.
life to functionally be. And. that thing did the idea of it slipping. through your fingers something that came. so naturally to you since you were 3. years old and all of a sudden you. realize when you are the best in any. environment that you're in to all of a. sudden feel it fading away. I cannot. imagine how that must feel. I remember. talking once to Joe Dumars. You know he. was he was a basketball player with the. Detroit Pistons. Really fascinating. interesting guy and he was talking about. towards the end of his career Kobe. Bryant started playing. And so he was 18.
I think when he started playing which is. young for American sports not for. football, but if American sports it's. young. And he said he could feel him. standing off him. And he'd been thinking about. when am I going to retire anyway. He. could feel the first time you're not. playing properly against me. You're. treating me with respect. Oh no, I'm done. He said he went back to his. wife that night with this my last year. I've got to be done. And he said he was. lucky that he had enough money so that. he didn't need to play beyond. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. the point that was.
that natural end which I think again is. not the case with lots of athletes which. is oh I need to do three more cuz I need. the money. So that. it must be incredibly difficult. >> So could you could you see yourself. doing anything else? I don't I didn't. want to do anything else. >> That's what I mean. It goes back to that. springboard thing with the. >> that's what I mean is like could you. That's what I'm saying. Is there. anything you could [snorts] see yourself. doing? >> this is the my favorite thing. That's. not I'm so happy for you. This is what I like the most. I am. genuinely so happy for you. No, cuz what.
cuz what I was saying about the the. temporary thing for me was. I I never thought it was my forever. thing. I thought maybe it would be like. 2 months or 3 months. >> Yeah, right. >> or 2 years or 3 years. But I never assumed that it was and then. it's like one thing leads to another. One thing leads to another and then it's. a pandemic thing. It's like where are. you going in a pandemic? Now you're. staying in a pandemic. But I never assumed that this would be. but for you to say that I actually love. that for you. There's so few people in. the world I think who can say I'm doing. the thing that is my favorite thing to. do in the whole world. >> so much fun. It's I cuz it's it's you.
know, it's the best kind of trouble. It's the trouble that I love so much and. you're doing it collectively. So you're. all in trouble together. It's so fun. And it was a real relief during the. pandemic. How did you feel during the. pandemic? I I it was really difficult like just. doing a show at home keeping everyone. employed and like performing jokes to. silence. But I worry a lot about what. where my head would have gone without. it. I feel for the stand-ups who all of. a sudden like I don't know when you can.
do this again. the outlets That's a hard. daily rhythm of your life to have taken. away. During the pandemic how do I So I think. there were stages. The first stage was. it was like the fun. and it was the experimentation of it. all. It was like it's it's exploration. >> Schools closed. Yeah, because remember. they said it was going to be 21 days. And everyone could do it for 21 days. I'll never forget the 21 days. So. and. >> That was always [ __ ] Yeah, it was.
In the lead up in the lead up to this, right? I remember saying to someone on the. technical team at The Daily Show. I said. hey, if if we needed to could we film the. show from home? You know, cuz things were starting to. shut down. Spain was Italy was shutting. down. I was like could we and they were. like well, we're not going to get shut. down. That doesn't happen in America. It. might happen in Europe. It won't happen. in America. I was like no, no, but could. we shoot the show from home? They were. like it's not possible. So I spoke to. David Meyer who now directs at The Daily. Show the Daily Show and I was like.
David, do you think we could do this? And he's like oh well, I mean he's like. I guess technically there's like a way. we could do this and he's like figured. out all these things and he's like I. guess we could do it. So we planned out this whole system for. what might possibly happen if it were to. happen. So when it happened I was I was. like oh wow, we get to test out this. thing for 21 days. Let's see how it goes. for 21 days. You know what I mean? And then. you know, it was the countdown to 21. days. So I was having a lot of fun. It was just school holidays. Right. And then the second phase was oh [ __ ].
People are dying. Yeah, New York. remember there was the body bags in. Central Park and So that was the that. was the thing for me that was difficult. because. like when you're doing stand-up you can. at least infer. tone from a room. >> Yeah, you can. And it's it was I found. it very hard to know what kind of jokes. are going to feel remotely appropriate. or are going to be wanted when CNN has a. death count in the corner of the screen. that's going up like. there's nothing to cue you for tone. You.
aren't part of and that's you're just. talking to yourself. >> That's one of the key parts of comedy I. find is being part of the society you're. doing the comedy in. There's very little comedy that exists. in a vacuum. But you are doing it with. people for people. And so you you This. was the one moment where there was one. point where I remember sitting there. going. is that a joke? Like literally a things would come out. of my mouth and I'd be like I don't know. if these are jokes anymore. I I. genuinely don't know. Yeah. Some of them.
are some of them aren't. I don't know if. they're funny. I don't know if they're. not funny because there's no. Do you know what I mean? There's just. [clears throat] nothing to that. There's. no feedback. There's no interaction. Yeah. So you could just we could be like. man, that was so great. I just imagine. you being like an old man doing your. show. Is that what you want? Do I want. to be an just an old man ranting about. systemic problems in America? Yeah, probably. I'll probably be there. You. know, and it doesn't have to be on. television. It can just be in the corner. of an old people's home. I'll just be gathering people over and. saying I need you to.
listen to what I have to say about the. Ugandan election coming up. >> [laughter]. >> It's just John Oliver in the corner. People getting ready. He's like. catheters. Oh boy, here we go John. >> [laughter]. >> He's like you probably think it's just a. thing that you wear inside your pants to. help you pee. But he's like here we go. >> [laughter]. >> And it's like they're like you know. everyone in the lounge is like what's. John and someone is like shut up this is. interesting. TELL ME HOW THE OLD AGE. HOME IS SCREWING ME OVER JOHN. SOUNDS. DARK. HE MIGHT do something dumb at the. end of this. It's it's [laughter] It's. going to bring it up. It's going to. But you know what you know what you did.
and I I I hope people are giving you. flowers for this. It's not just like the. awards. You created like a new thing. Mhm. You. do realize that? I. I don't know but I wanted I was very. very conscious of not doing it because. of John's thing, right? And we did not. want to just do John's thing because. that felt like stealing, right? Well. well well that's he did that. So it feels like our responsibility to. take what we learned with him and. develop it a different thing, right? See. see what you can do with it in a.
different form. So yeah we were taking very much those. parts as we were saying at the start. those uh like ingredients and the the. parts of that process and. trying to use that to build something. meaningfully different. And at the end. of the day it is still just a guy behind. a desk talking. So I know that all of. the news Oh exactly optically Yeah. It's. [clears throat] it's kind it's graphics. over the shoulder because that's kind of. the best way for you to see But that's. like that's different. Yeah that's In. general it felt like what we wanted to.
build was something very very different. >> very different. Yes. No no it is It is and and. congratulations and thank you. You know. I'm sure I've said this to you before. but thank you cuz like I feel like. because of you. you know I was able to do so I walked so. you could run is that what you were. about to say? >> so that [laughter] I could live. Let's. put it that way. Thank you John Oliver. >> from a South African you're welcome. >> Thank you John Oliver for colonizing. late night so that I So basically what. he said is You you bought them the fake. vase so that he can You brought me you.
brought me over on a ship John. >> [laughter]. >> so that I could be in a land that wasn't. my own. For a head of fire to buy You. brought me in. And because [laughter] of. you John I was able to to do well. An. African was able to come to America So. we're good now? We're good? We're good? >> [laughter]. >> The patina IS STILL THERE. NO BUT FOR REAL THANK YOU JOHN. Thanks. for joining us. This was really fun. >> [laughter]. >> Oh by the way are you going to go to the. World Cup? Oh yeah I would Can you go? >> I would I would love to go.
I would love to go. I don't know if I. will be letting in. I mean I was allowed. to go in South Africa. You went to. Rustenburg? No no no but Rustenburg. I. went to that that was the the stupidest. part of the World Cup was the fact they. put games in Rustenburg which didn't. function well. >> ironically that was the first story I. did when I started doing countdown 2010. >> Really? Yeah when they were starting to. build the stadium. Royal Bafokeng Stadium right in. Bafokeng. Yes but it didn't have any. people there. It didn't have any people. there. It's just a mining town that. didn't have any people. They were just. going to get three games. They were.
going to build this stadium. We got there the scoreboards didn't. work. They were funneling all the fans. in through the same entrance. You're. like oh you don't want to do that. There's no plan how guys? [laughter]. Absolutely no plan. Everyone had to walk. out together. Uh I don't know who was camped there. again in Rustenburg. England played the United States there. That was the Yeah there was one team. that was camped there. Yeah but but this was pre your like FIFA. beefs is what I mean. Oh you're right. You mean oh that's right. This guy is the king of FIFA. He's he's.
done multi multi series multiple parts. on FIFA. something about you. If I was. Kendrick FIFA are MY DRAKE. DAMN. >> [laughter]. >> SO BASICALLY [ __ ] DON'T KILL YOUR VIBE. >> [laughter]. >> No but I'm being serious so cuz did you. did you go to Qatar? No. No I did not go. to Qatar. >> Okay so you go I don't go [ __ ]. I was not walking into that trap. I. talked about. [ __ ] about FIFA and the Qatari. government. >> No no no you would have been fine.
Can I tell you you can only at the. embassy? No let me tell you something. The best time to go to any country is. when the World Cup is there. I've only. been to Russia once in my life. Yeah. And it was during the World Cup because. I knew the only thing you should fear. more than the Russian government is. FIFA. FIFA was going to keep me safe. FIFA let me tell you something. Do you. remember during the 2010 World Cup in. South Africa? Do you remember what our. crime rate was? Zero. Exactly. Why? FIFA does not remember they had their. own courts. They had mobile police. stations. That's why you have FIFA laws.
Yo. yo let me tell you something. >> Get all those all those vendors. Yes. doubt FIFA does not mess around. So what. I'm saying is you technically cuz they. can't have it that something happened to. John Oliver. >> your beef with them stops you from. attending any of their No I'm asking if. it does. >> Okay yeah. You should have gone to. Qatar. I think I should be allowed to. attend. I live here. No no it's too I I. I I live here. I think I should be. allowed to go. You should go to the. game. Yeah I think I should I think I. want that for you. England's going. You. should go. Yeah? Do you think this is. the one? Oh no I don't It's coming home.
I don't think I will ever think this is. the one thing. It's coming home. No I've. been hurt too many times. >> But John this is one of the best teams. [laughter]. in terms of balance. No in terms of. balance I've heard this every four. years. But you are still right. It's. true every four years. Yeah this this I'll tell you what. happened. As someone who watched it in. Qatar you know what I think happened in. that one game? Yeah. I think Southgate. was the coach, right? I just think his. problem was when he got the when he was. one nil up he was more worried about. losing the game. >> you're always worried when England go up. too early. When when England went one. nil up one nil up against Brazil Yeah. that's that's. the story of the empire. They were up.
too early and then look what happened. >> [laughter]. >> That was all we were really guilty of. Was speaking too soon. And if and assorted other things. But yeah that's that I think the the. problem with England is going to be that. it's just. it we're at the point now where you're. right this team is. really well balanced. Took us a really good manager but we are. at the point of the season now where. every injury is meaningful, right? So.
it's like what happened from from. January on it's all like oh we're all. going to learn like we do every four. years. What's the recovery time for a. metatarsal? Uh yes. It's going to be. like I remember on the when Beckham. broke his metatarsal. Like on the on the. news in England they're like it is this. bone of the foot. Like making people. qualify podiatrists. Is it going to. it'll heal in about three and a half. weeks. He'll then be able to put. pressure on it. Then he can start. bending it. So maybe by the. quarterfinals he'll be back to full. strength. >> here's a question I have about this. Why.
is it that the English media and this is. just my like my observation of it. Uh-huh. Why does the English media give. the English team so much [ __ ] and then. get. so pissed off when they like they don't. seem to support them No no. on the. journey and you expect them to win No no. but more than that. the English media they expect them to. win. There's a deep level of entitlement. which is that every World It's coming. home. It's coming home. Every World Cup. is England's. So unless you allow. another country to take it away from. you. That's that is the kind of tone of.
the British press. >> but then they [ __ ] on them so hard. They. give them so much [ __ ]. They play scared. think there's like a. moment in time where the press would go. we're behind you fully don't worry. But. instead no. Why why do they do that? I. don't know. I think there's two things. going on. One I think they are you can. be terrified to make a mistake cuz. you've seen the examples that people. that have been made of people. You've. seen effigies of Beckham hanging outside. of his family's house. So you do not. want to be the one that misses a. penalty. Yes. You've seen what happens. Like Stuart Pearce what happened to. Saka? Saka of course. That's right.
Southgate himself he knew. He knew. He. missed a penalty. He knew the fact it. upends your entire life. That is a. monumental amount of responsibility to. feel the failure in a moment. >> Yeah. before you can even contemplate. success. Mhm. Plus back then those teams. were so siloed. The players were so they. did not interact with each other. at. all. It's very very very interesting now. hearing them talk cuz you see them on. podcasts talking the way that you. wouldn't. You you get you see players.
saying oh yeah we didn't really you see. Rio and Gerrard we didn't really hang. out. I didn't really know anything about. you. Now they're going on vacation. together. No now they're going on vacation. together. They're friends. >> But back then but and I think that comes. with a level of regret cuz he's like oh. we could have really done something. together but I was suspicious of you. You were suspicious of me. Neither of us. like Frank Lampard. A few players have. told me It's. It's it's The agents were fueling the. feud as well. That must come with real. regret but I think it's just the way. things were at the time.
Social media changed that. Oh really? >> Yeah like a few players I asked a few. players I was like yo I feel like there. was a time when one you know a. Manchester United player would never be. friends with a Man City Liverpool. Arsenal never. Now I see you guys on. vacation. I see you in clubs in Mykonos. And he said social media. He [snorts]. said it used to be that that the only. images you got of that person were like. from the official games. Yeah in combat. mode. >> Whereas now you see a clip of them. You.
see things you see them doing cool. things and you're like oh I like this. person. Yeah. And I remember like. Marcelo was a fan of Alphonso Davies. And Davies was was like wait the Marcelo. the greatest left back in my life. And. Marcelo was like I think you're the. greatest new left back ever. And all of. a sudden they became friends. And so you. you now have these like cross team cross. generational links that couldn't be. formed but because of social media. So. Facebook is good. I do find it so. interesting watching them talk now. The. kind of what watching Even in the game.
like looking back on that time. >> Oh yeah they're very with regret or just. talking or just reminiscing about those. moments that you grow up witnessing. first time. I think the hardest I. laughed this year was there's a start of. you know the. Beckham and Gary Neville do that. Salford that series of welcome to. Salford videos. There's just Beckham and. Neville in the back of a town car. driving through Manchester and they're. just sitting there like just like two. friends who have grown up together which. they have. And Beckham says hey Gary. do you remember at you tried to lob.
Buffon in the Champions League. >> [laughter]. >> And Neville looked back and went, "What. do you mean tried?". A perfect exchange BETWEEN [laughter]. THOSE TWO. I THINK WHAT YOU'VE just explained is. the happy ending of all football fans. Social media and television and these. kind of programs allow you to have a. life You're not wrong. >> after the football. >> Yeah, you're not wrong. >> So they won't disappear into the ether. and you'll never hear of them again or. end up in some strange administrative. job as an assistant coach. You will.
still see them functional and living. It's that classic thing with social. media though, isn't it? Like what it. what it gives with one hand it will take. away with the other because like yes, they can be. more either they can present themselves. to society as a more well-rounded human. being and they can have the most. horrendous things said to them. relentlessly online. It's That is At. least in the past you could hear it, you. could tune it out, but it was. fundamentally done. For them to sit. there in their phone.
that Morata Morata talked about that. Alvaro Morata. Yeah, yeah, he talked. about how like when things weren't going. well for him, I think it was at Madrid, but he said. he just couldn't get off the phone and. he would see people just saying these. and. I used to go just turn off the phone, but if you grew up in that generation. >> Yeah, that doesn't apply. You play a. [ __ ] game, you go home and the fans are. still with you. Fans are with you on the. couch. Fans are with you on the couch. Those aren't like those aren't your. That's your team. The people wearing. your shirt [ __ ] on you the hardest. >> Yeah, it must be very very difficult.
>> That's what I discovered whenever I. watch American television, especially. sports channel like ESPN. I see how. these ex-football players I think people. who love Tom Brady see him more now than. they've ever seen him when he plays cuz. there'll be a match and they will play. and that'll be it. But now they get to. hear his opinions, they get to see him, they get to [music]. In fact, feel like they're interacting. with him. That's what you can retire. into, right? You can retire into. podcasts. Come and join us. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, yeah, this we'll just sit around and. just reminisce about Daily Show. episodes. We do. Yo, man, this has been.
fun, John. [laughter] THANK YOU, MAN. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING the. episode. If you enjoyed it, pass [music]. it on to a friend. If you didn't enjoy. it, pass it on to your friend still. Let them suffer for a change. And don't. forget to engage with us in the. comments. If you want to suggest a. guest, maybe there's questions you want, maybe there's ideas that you have, you. can [music] chat to us. We will read. through the comments and we'll get into. it. Either way, I appreciate you taking. the time. >> [music]. >> Thank you for hanging out with us on.
What Now? And remember, we do this for. you, so we [music] would like to hear. from you. Till next time. Thank you.
