If I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

I believe everyone should try crack before they die. But like you said, a perfect world you would know, right? Yes, I would. I would do it in hospice. Guys, if you're going out, go out with a bag. But I don't know, crack a pop bag. No, I don't think crack is the best hospice drug. What would you choose? Heroin? Yeah. Yeah. They give you that anyway. That's what I'm saying. Try it out. Yo, let me ask you something I'd like to do. Have you seen somebody. do crack and then, like, not be, like, more mobile than they were crackheads. Keep jobs. That's what I'm saying. Fentanyl kills. So I'm saying hospice should have crack.

But these people are going to be working. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Hospice will just have, like, a different swag. Twins. This one is like an end stage thing. Yeah. Oh, I'm not saying crack for the people. Gotcha. I'm saying you're selling crack for the people. I'm saying crack when it's done. Like when you're. When crack when it's like, you know, when an airplane is going down. in the mosque's come from the ceiling. It would be a little crack as well. That's why it should be in the crack pipe. Yeah. That's what should be in the mosque. Planes going down. Crack pipe comes down from the cup, and then it's like. And then you like. Man, it's not so bad. It's nuts. They'll hold the plane up themselves every.

This is what now. with Trevor Noah. And so welcome to it. It's an episode of if I ruled the world. when myself, Josh and Christiana think about ways. that we would change the world if we had all the power.

As is usual, each of us suggests our idea. Everyone votes on it. We'll hear the other two votes on it. And if you get a majority or if you get two people then your vote is passed. So Josh Christiana do you want to start. After you. Josh Christiana, you're the only person, I think, who's had one person I know, and I want to be the one that has it. Now, am I competitive? Yeah, I feel like. Yeah. I feel like that's. what I should offer for me to go first, because it's like she knows it'll be bad.

Hahahahahahaha! Okay, Josh, you go first. I think that if I ruled the world, everyone, every citizen of the world, after the age of about 22, potentially 25. Yeah, would have to at some point in the rest of their life, have at least one psychedelic experience. Wow. Have to. You have to. And you don't have to do it at 22. I say 22 because. between 22 and 25 are the years where the the brain of the human.

it really you're you're waiting for the brain to settle. because I know it has to be. Yeah. Because I'm, I'm not trying to offset where anyone was going to go without this. Okay. And I want everybody to be able to be themselves. But then I think that afterwards, it's probably one of the things. you can even save it until you're until you're old and if you die. But yeah, but that's what was going to ask. What if people die before? I mean, they could die before they're 22. So what I'm saying is what I'm trying to say.

You've implemented a system because everyone has to. Yeah, but there's no time limit on it. I would say the time limit on it is like probably. 55, 55, 54, 55. You have to have a psychedelic experience. Yes. Because I think that if if it has a life altering effect on you. at 55, there's still time to change your life around. And if you do it too late, I think it just reshapes how you feel about life. You've already lived,

Okay. I'm a little torn on this one. I think psychedelics can change the world in a positive way. I also do think not everyone should have to take them, and I think some people might take them and have, like, a really bad trip and. like, I'm if you've read these people's posts. on like ayahuasca, which I know is not exactly the same thing. You know, if people go and do like ayahuasca at one of these gimmicky retreats. somewhere in the world, and then they come back. and they leave their family and they,

like, quit everything, and then they go over. Yeah. I don't know if everyone. Would you give people psych evaluations beforehand? Would there be a guide? Would there be a guide? A perfect example where I go is that apparently we have. a misunderstanding personally, and we've made a tourism out of ayahuasca. Yes. We have the tradition of ayahuasca. Was that the actual doctor, like the elder, would take the ayahuasca and and converse with you and talk with you. We've made it so that we want to take the ayahuasca. So I would I would say that there would definitely be like a sort of psych eval.

to make sure a person could handle it and say, okay, I'm. with you a little bit more. But I do think that the between the years of like 22. and 55 are where you are at your most, your most potential for being like, stuck. I don't want to disparage people's choices, but I think that. some people who do fall off the grid after a psychedelic experience. maybe really are like, loosening themselves.

Maybe that's not the crazy that we think it is. Okay, I'm willing to accept that. Yeah. I mean, because we don't know who their families are, we don't know who their families are, and we even know what their job was like. What what you would even call traditions of like, you look at the Buddha and the Buddha left. everything to go find enlightenment, but he but he had responsibilities. He had a wife and he had children and everything. He was like, I didn't know he was a deadbeat a little bit. Wow. Yeah, I didn't know that. I'm pretty sure. Pretty sure he came back but didn't come back to raise them just yet. I just came back to tell them that like, oh, that's a bad.

The idea of him leaving isn't real. He was like, why are you crying? I was never here. So he made someone a single mom. But he was like, you were always saying you came in. He was made him a god. He's like, you came into this world. He's not a god. He's like, it's an idea. It's like a prophet. Yeah, yeah, but he's just like, yeah, man. At least Jesus didn't have any kids. I'm not like, saying you should be a Christian. But he had no kids. He was going to. But then bunch of pilots happened. And yeah, the rest is history. So, wait, Josh, are you saying this?

Are you saying this firsthand or you saying this as, like, just an idea? No, as an idea. So you've never done psychedelics? No, no, I haven't done. Wait, wait. So you don't know what could happen to you? Wait. No. Okay. It's different. I would love to do it with you. No, no, I put anybody on shrooms. Why would you say this about me? You're like the shroom pusher. No, I'm not like that. No, no no, no, I'm the open minded, high brow drug dealer. I mean, I'm an open mind encourager. I think everyone should be open to, like, electric cars.

I was one of the first ones saying to people, yo, guys, let's do electrical. I mean, if people don't want it, I was like, I don't mind you not doing it, but let's be open to the idea of it. We should all be open to more ideas that make the world a better place. Yeah, I agree with that. I've never pushed anyone. Josh. You've never done it. But you want everyone, including yourself, to do it. Yeah. It'll be easier for me to do it. Oh, wow. But also also, I will say this. I don't do it now. Under the current system that we live in, I can't just be,

you know, black man out the streets on psychedelics for the first time. I don't know, I might take my shirt. Off we go. Do we go on and on. We go to Oregon. We go to. We find, like, an open field, you know, and then we just get in touch with ourselves, I guess. So. Wait. Drunk Josh, you even drink? No, no, I don't drink. I've never done anything. This is just you. Have you smoked weed? No, this is me, RA. Wow. This is just what I'm like. Wow. I think you've done nothing in life. No. You know what we should do? We should. Well, you just made it seem like he's done nothing in my dream.

No, but you just made it like you were like. Have you lived? No, but I know what you mean. You don't take anti-depressants, you just raw dogging the world. No. Yeah. No. Wow. Yeah. This is so. This is deep. What we should do then? Josh, we should start. Why don't we start with a cigaret? You might discover yourself a cigaret. You might like. Oh, no, you never know. Josh, you're so right. Josh, you're so pure. Oh, you might smoke a cigaret and have, like, an ayahuasca experience. I might smoke a cigaret and die. That's what I'm saying. You might smoke one cigaret.

Like I see my ancestors. We give you, like, one. Like Marlboro. Like an old vaccine. Yeah, yeah, just like one. I think nicotine would be enough for him, man. Let's go. You're not. Josh, can I tell you what we should do? We should do. We should do podcast episodes. And on each one we give you one substance. You try it and then we discuss it with you to see how you feel. I feel like in this scenario. you accidentally make crack the first episode. If we don't do it.

we're like we can't fight. Oh no no no I mean Trevor Crack is the end game. Yes it is. Okay, so it'd be like season 40. Yes, it would definitely be crack. Yeah. Yeah I think Josh with your psychedelics thing. Since you like don't drink you don't smoke weed. I don't know if you're the best authority on people. trying the whole population trying other stuff. I think it's a fantastic idea but carry on. No. But like it doesn't come from experience. Yeah yeah yeah it comes from just a lot of you guys.

So you were on the same journey. This guy is. No, no, no. But now to find out that you just seem crazy. And now people haven't done it because the first helicopter. was not invented by someone who flew in a helicopter. Let the man be. What does any of a leap? You don't have to do the thing to have the idea for the thing. That's what I'm saying. Josh is clearly an enlightened gentleman. He could do. You could take him to Oregon. and you do the thing, and he comes back and he's like, absolutely not. So I wouldn't be doing that. Josh, I think Josh should do it because just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

You know, so I hear what you're saying, Chris. Yeah, I do get it, but I'm just saying off of both. the things that I've, seen from people, like, from not my first hand experience, but from the knowledge of other people trying things and everything. I just in the same way that I have not seen anyone. be better for being drunk. I have not seen people.

Whole lots of worse off for. having a psychedelic experience, especially especially ones that they are. even intended to be a little bit life altering or mind opening. And are not habitual. I've just not seen any negative repercussions in like a major way. Maybe they had a bad trip, but I think that bad trip. also made them think about why I was a bad trip. And now I think you're coming from it to it from a very considered perspective. I respect it, but I still think you should do it. because I'm not going to do it. So you do it.

Can I think what's funny about this? You are going to be scammed. I'm letting you know you're going to get get scammed by because. remember this moment and bookmark this episode. The pharmaceutical industry. is working on synthesizing psychedelics that grow from our own Mother Earth. They're finding a way to synthesize it. And once they've figured it out, they're going to get it passed by the governments, and then they're going to make it illegal to have the stuff. that everyone can grow for themselves and not lose all their money on,

and then they're going to sell. the thing that was natural to the people, and it's not going to have the full effects. because they still wanted to, like, make you like, latch on to capitalism. So they're going to find a way to like. it'll make you feel good for a few moments and then it'll like go away. But it won't have like, the real life changing possibilities that like, real psychedelics can have. And then when that comes out, it'll be in a pill form. It'll be widely accepted by society. Like most drugs are, that have like the worst side effects. and that get people, you know, opioid addictions and you name it. And then you see, Josh Christiana will take that bottle.

and she'll tell us that she's on it. and we'll be like, why didn't you take the mushrooms? I should be like, because my doctor prescribed. That's what I'm going to say. After we we spoke to Michael Pollan. Right. Josh? After that, I'm in my politics group chat. Are you guys my nerdy mom? Group chat? Yes. We had a thing, and we were like, okay, we're going to do a trip. And we we want to get a guide and do shrooms. We want to get your person. Look at this. We want to get your power. This is amazing. But we kept being mothers. There's so many caveats. All right. Is this with you? Should this person.

like maybe this person sits out and like make sure like our phones are there. So we we are considering it. I don't I think we're all checking to ever do it okay. And we're tired, exhausted, one step in the right direction. We just like sleep most of the trip. Yeah, but like, I'm I'm becoming more open to it. I think you should do it before you propose a law about it. It's only fair. And as political hypocrisy. You know what, Josh? I see what she says. She thinks you're chicken. You're not chicken? No. After this episode, me and you, we go, and we're going to make it happen.

Any any questions from you? Christina? I'm ready to vote on this. Yeah, I'm ready to vote on it. I don't have any questions. Okay. Yeah. And you're voting. I'm going to vote no. Damn. But I, I think that the spirit behind it is a really beautiful thing, because you're saying everyone should get the chance to be free. Yeah. Which is what psychedelics can possibly do. But you're voting no. Yeah, because I don't think we should compel anyone to do things with their bodies. I'm truly pro-choice. Damn, Josh, you are not pro-choice.

Well, we compel people all the time. on the record as not being a choice. Force people to take vaccines, you know? I mean, wow. No, no, Josh, I'm like, no, no, we recorded Josh, let her hang with me. She said, no vaccines. No, no, I do vaccines. I want my kids to be around people who have vaccine. But I would never say. if I was running a government, I'd be like, so, like your body. Don't come near it. Don't. Don't do any of me. Radical consent. Okay? If I was Gen Z, I'd be. Well, I want and people.

Can I kiss you? Okay, now I'm going to take off your tongue. I'd be like that type of person, but I'm. I'm like. I'm like, oh, wow. Well, yeah, I just I feel we can't I don't want to compel. anyone to do something with their body especially that affects their mind. So I'm sorry I said no Josh. Well I still vote yes because I think it's a wonderful idea. that could set many people free. And I think we've lost many of the traditions that have helped. people do that. But Christiana wants us to be stuck sipping on the juice. that capitalism gives us. Only it does sound she wants to like. Yeah, she wants us to be stuck in our little cubicles.

and doesn't want us to be free. Because you know what affects the mind? You know what affects the body, the phone. We all have one of those. We need them to survive. We ever let them go? Maybe I should have tricked everyone. I said everybody. Josh got a no. We'll see what Christiana suggestion is. We're going to continue this conversation right after this. short break. All right, Christiana, it's your turn.

I can rule the world. If I ruled the world, everyone would get an assigned partner. and whatever you'd want that partner to be. So if you're a gay man. and you really want a husband, we'd make sure you get a husband and a lesbian. You want a wife? I'd make sure you get a wife straight. Or if you're someone that's like, I just want platonic love, we'd get you a best friend. Now, when you say get you, what is this? Who's the getting in the like? You know, like getting work. But I'm like, am I going to get God? Like when you say getting. So we'd have like, someone's like, I want to have to have like social work.

No no no no no no. Everyone won't be compelled. Yes. To have an assigned partner. You can say what that same partner has to be like. Is this somebody. Yeah. We have to have them. Yes. So no one single in the world. No one's alone in the world. So like, remember you. But no one single as well. Well, you can have an assigned partner and not be romantically involved. So you can just make your assigned partner a friend. Some of them would be a friend. Oh, cause some people struggle. Oh, wait wait wait. Okay, wait. So I could say, imagine you're like everyone has to have an assigned partner.

And as long as you're both alive, you are contractually obliged. to each other in some way. Okay, but what does that mean? What does it could be some people would be like, I want a husband. Okay, so I would make sure that person got a husband or a wife. and so they wouldn't be matched up with somebody who wanted them. Yeah okay okay okay okay okay. And then some people would be like, I, I never I don't want a husband, I don't want someone in my house. But I want to know what when I grow old, I'll have a companion. But I would prefer that a person to be a woman.

Okay. All right. And then we'll be like, okay, we're going to find you a best friend. And you would arrange it and you'd have to be together. And this is what I think it does. It solves our loneliness problem because there's so many people. that, like, die alone and live alone. But if you have an assigned partner, that side of your life is taking care of. I'm not mad at this idea. The only problem is. I've read multiple studies that have said.

some of the loneliest people of those in a marriage. No, but it doesn't have to be a marriage. Yeah, but what mean? What I'm saying is, like, imagine having an assigned person who doesn't like, you know, but we would do our best to ensure it's like, how do you how do you. Okay, so you like using, like, algorithms and stuff, you know, like human wisdom, right? Maybe. I'm just saying it's just like, let's let's be clear. People make really bad choices picking.

Now, this is this is so it's not like you can do it any better. This is true. Right? And I'm like, let's outsource that to some sort of government body. and mind you, in the government is in their interest. for you to be happy because happier people are more productive citizens. and they there's less crime, there's less violence, etc., etc.. No, you guys are not solid. I'm not looking if say, well, I mean my face is giving me away. Yeah, well I think, to one thing, to your point is I have to look it up, but,

it was like they did a. this is a survey, but basically they found that the divorce. rate in arranged marriages when divorce was allowed. and the divorce rate of love marriages was, like pretty close. Oh, interesting. It was like it was like, not exactly the same, but it was like very close. So I do agree with your, your thing of like, you are just as well off based off of your general personality. and disposition of picking yourself as having someone pick for you. because happy people make happy couples. Yes. Okay.

My worry is that some people are like. such proper like cat people that they're like guys, I don't want a person you don't understand. I only like alligators. But that person definitely needs a person. As somebody who's had, like, family members who just like, isolate themselves from, like, the family for whatever reasons. And you, like, you don't know where they are. You don't know what they're doing. It's a big worry. So in your system, you'd like pay them up with somebody who like to dress up as an alligator.

You sure? If that's your thing. I don't kink. Shame. You say? No, no, I'm just saying. Because we're trying to. Yeah, but yeah, so. So I think in your scenario, you would have to align them with. someone who was, like, so passionate about outreach and social work. that they didn't mind. just being a pen pal for maybe years until this person wanted to talk. Well, there are people like that. Yeah. You know, I mean, yeah, you know, okay, I think it would it be like, it wouldn't be like an opposites attract thing because I think.

fundamentally they'd have to be assigned someone that has the same value system as. even if they have a different personality. But it would just mean that you would always have a person. What if I killed my person? Okay, well, give me another one. Oh, well, the thing is, if you go to prison, you're going to have lots of assigned people here. Wow, I saw somebody. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I was just trying to figure out, like, okay. No, I feel I feel like I don't think it become contentious. Oh, human relationships have stuff, but it.

I think it would do a lot of things. for loneliness because people get to a certain age and they just wake up. Maybe they get widowed, or so you know, I hear, I hear look, I think the sentiment behind it, like most of our sentiments are right. I think it is a beautiful idea. The area where I think it falls short is this I think that lonely ness. is always relative to what we perceive the the other thing to be. Okay, so if you're on an island. and there's only one other person on the island, you might find over some time, you're like, this is life and this is great.

And you get what I'm saying. But if you if you live in a world where there's like a thousand people. and then you only know like one of them, you might still be lonely. because you're like, oh, I wish I had more friends. I only have one friend, and I so I think people would just make that the baseline. Now you'd become the loser in your basement, or you probably only have an assigned friend. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at you. Oh, is that your wife? Is that an assigned wife? Oh, so you would. I think you'd still have the same loneliness. And I also think, like, on a societal level, there's there's got to be a thing that like, pushes us as humans a little bit.

It's like you don't push. I don't think it's the push. Okay. So I don't mean it's the push, but every year we pick up the newspaper, we watch news. Yeah. And there's a story of somebody who has died in their apartment. Yeah, it's been there for years. Yes. And there's a smell coming from. And the neighbors are like, what's that? And then the police come and it's a skeleton. There's a specific. case of actually a black British woman and it's a skeleton writes watching TV. And it's like the apartment stacking time. Right, right, right. And I think about that happens so much in cities.

Yes, but I'm on the web. But I'm arguing. I agree with you. We've never heard that story happen in an African village. Yeah, but I've never heard a story one time. You need to unassigned people. So unless people in your business. Oh, so what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is. I argue the thing that you're pitching isn't the root cause of what's happening. I would argue you've ruled the world and you've thrown in like a. way to, like, treat the symptom. But the real issue is just like us living isolated lives in our world. in that way, you know what I mean? Is, like. I that's why I say I love the sentiment, but I personally I'm going to vote no.

because I think you fixed it the wrong way, in my opinion, as a voter. And I think it's just going to be like, it's just going to be a different way to be lonely. And then some people, you know, there's a weird thing, I think some people might even feel more rejected when they're assigned thing. doesn't work out because like an algorithm said it's supposed to work out. And then it didn't work out. And imagine how much lonely you would be. if you failed at the thing that was pre chosen for you. That was supposed to be perfect.

So I'm going to vote no. That's mine. That's I love I love the sentiment behind it. I it's a beautiful idea but it's a no okay. Before I, before I vote I have one more question and one potential suggestion. One question. Would you Daisy chain the the people. So like let's say you have your person and then you're both like 28. and then your person you're assigned person passes. Do you get another person or are you like alone for the rest of life now? No, I feel like. I think the assigned person is sacred.

Oh, okay. I'm going to go back now and vote more. No. Yeah. Because I feel like damn, knowing how human you know, I have a very dismal view. of. Damn. Yeah, I feel like to Travis points for soulmates. You know, have you watched the Twin Flames documentary? You just twin flame two people. Have you seen that scam? Everyone who's just listening to this go and watch Escaping Twin Flames, and you will see what Christiana has just pitched her because she's just. It's sacred. Your partner is sacred.

This is the fundamental premise of twin flame scams. I'm more voting no. So I am voting yes, but I have. I have a little tweak because I do think it would work better this way if you were. Are you guys? I'm. I'm on board for the amendment. I just want the vote. I think, wow, this is the problem with politics today. I think that your assigned. person has to be someone on a different part of the world than you.

And I think that, at some point you each get a trip to see each other. so you can see each other as much as you want, like cultural exchange. Cultural exchange. Exactly. Because I think that you having a person in a place that you would probably never. go and something you know nothing about, that's actually what like, brings. more humanity into it and terrible system. What you guys are like ridiculously terrible. What your assigned partner is going to be in another country. Yeah. No, you can't afford to go see the one person. who's assigned to, you know, but you get a trip.

Yeah. One. Yeah. Even worse. Yeah. What you could have had. Here's what you could have had. If you could have no one like no one says you have to go back. Yeah, but what if you you like you like this person's perfect timing. and now you have your visa. Just. This is American. This is what this is. Americans travel the world not knowing how hard it is to travel the world. You poop out your passport. Every country lets you in. If you came from any other country, you would never make that suggestion. Imagine eating your assigned sacred partner. You fall for them.

You're like, wow, this is the best person for me. And then the other countries like you can't come in. because you don't have a visa. And then what? I think they know you wouldn't need visas. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is this is our world where everyone has an assigned partner. so we don't have to worry about the borders in the same way. you guys are adding like a bunch of if I rules into one, if I know it's just. Oh, no. Oh, it's our to go ahead and make you the person vote. Go ahead. He voted yes. You voted yes. Yeah. Well mine still in no. It's the. craziest most meticulous combination of ideas.

Can I tell you something? Yeah. This situation that you got, I would make a movie about this world, and my movie would be about somebody escaping this world. And I would call the movie unassigned. That's what it would be. I could see the trailer now be like in a world where everyone is. forced to be with someone they don't know. Michael, come meet your assigned partner. I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. The government locks everybody down. They tell you who you should be with.

I say hello to your little friend, and one woman decides to fight back. Am I going to take this shit? I don't need to sign anything. It's sacred. Mary. Goddamn it, you're sick. We will, we will, we will, we will, we will. One girl get her? Get her now! Up against the odds, Mr. president, do we have permission to take her out? She's going to shut it all down. I hate this system. Paw paw paw paw paw.

Paw paw. Unassigned. Coming to theaters soon. That's what I would make. I mean, I mean, I would watch it. Yeah, I would escape that world. I would watch it, but I would also wish. I was in that world. Don't go anywhere cause we got more. What now? After this. Okay.

If I were all the world, I would say we have no more politicians. They're gone. No more. No more presidents, no more senators, no more congresspeople, no more. None of them. I think it is a defunct position. I think we no longer need it, because the reason we needed it before. was because we didn't have, like, telephones and internet. So villages and communities needed to get a person. to go to the central body to tell the people there what they needed.

And because we would like we as the people were like working on our farms. and stuff, we couldn't all leave our stuff to go and tell the people what we need. So we'd send a representative. That's where the term comes from, a representative, to go and tell the other representatives what our neck of the woods needs. We no longer need this. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're saying. But then, Trevor, this seemed like a world of chaos. Who is making the rules? Was I in my world, the rules are now made by the people. For the people. And what would happen is everybody would have a device.

It is secure. Don't worry. We've done the. We've done the work on this already. It's secure. And what you would do in your daily life is. you would pick the things that you want to be a certain way. So you would say like, oh, I think we should spend more money on roads. and we should spend more money on books and education. Teachers should get more salary. And no, I don't want more war. And I think we should also do this and we shouldn't do that. And that's all you would do every day. No no no no no no no no. You just do it when you want to do it. You don't even have to do it like in one go, especially elections.

But all of it, let's put it this way, all of this information. will be pertinent at the time that it needs to be pertinent, but it isn't on the fixed cycle that it is the way it is now in elections. Because now this is arbitrary. So this is a referendum, which I hate because no, no, wait wait wait wait. It's not a referendum because it's going into law. It's not a referendum, right? So instead of voting for a person who could not do the thing you say, I must always point out how many people get voted in. and then do not do the thing that they say you would vote. And then if most people have voted for free health care,

they would now be free health care. Who would give the free health care? Bureaucrats, oh so bureaucrats still run. What's happening? You need because people who push paper. This is what you need. You need actuary, actuaries. And you need like accountants. And you need you need this world, right? And they're making the thing happen. They executing what has come from the people. But there's no longer a leader who gets to take the thing that came from the people. and then, like, make it about themselves and then not do it. How do you get to be a bureaucrat?

Oh, no, no, no, it's just qualifications. because all you're doing is working things out. It's like economists, accountants, engineers, scientists. That's what they do. It's your job. You don't have power. You just have to do what the people said. Oh, you're all cases have a lot. No no no no. But not in this system. Because in this system it has to be executed. It just has to be done. So let's say let's say a community votes, they want a park. and they want the park to be funded with their taxes. Then they would vote on this. Everyone has their little app and they would vote on it, and it would get passed as a measure.

And then the bureaucrats just have to make it happen. So you're almost having like elections towards policies. because it's yeah, there's no people involved. There's no people involved. There's no leader, there's no leader. It's just do you want debates? Do you want access to this thing? Because the reason that I, that I worry. about there not being debates is that I think there's a disconnect. And some of this is just how we live as people. But there's like a disconnect between when you get to the,

ballot box and how something is worded. versus the points that people made before you got there. Okay, cool. And so there are sometimes things that are like intentionally vague, as in, like there have even been courts that had to throw out certain ballots. before the vote because they were like, this is worded in a way too, but it becomes like it becomes backward mumble. Right? It's like a riddle. Exactly. So then how would you stop people. who, let's say, don't want women to have like, access to abortion? That's still a belief someone will hold. Yeah.

How do you stop them from using whether it's the bureaucracy or they're. So the ballot, the great thing in the system is in. the same way, you can use your phone today. to reiterate or to explain or to define, right. If you use any of like even basic, basic level A's. Now I'm not even talking. My one's connected to the internet like a simple large language model. You can have that on device, and it can just explain this to you. So it can say to you as Josh, hey, Josh, this is what this measure is.

So you go as Josh. I do not think because you've said this on the podcast. and I see you've brought it up again. You don't want women to have a choice over their bodies. Hahahahaha. I woke up again. And so for you Josh, that's not for you. The thing I would say to you as Josh. Josh, do you think that a woman should be allowed. to make choices over her body medically. and then you would say yes or no based on that, but it would make the language as clear for you as possible.

So you're letting a robot do that work. Like, what do you mean that an art. And I would do the interpretation and the interpretation. Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you why. Let me tell you why. There is so no, no way. Let me explain. Why me explain why. So the first thing we have to do is separate types of eyes. Right. There's some eyes that are very the insula. And then there are other eyes that are not. So they're connected to things and they. No, no, no, this is locked in its insula. All it's doing is explaining. Does that make sense? It's not intelligent in that way.

It is just it's able to like, rephrase the thing. and explain it to you in a way it could translate into your language. It could use, you know, words that you understand more than others. That's essentially what it's doing. Okay, okay. So in you're basically pitching direct democracy. It's like what the Greeks used to do, like but a digital version. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that means everybody gets a say, everybody gets to say. And it's easy to have a say. Yes. Okay. I don't like that.

Everybody should get a say. Everybody shouldn't get a say no. Everybody should guess. My other question is is still religious institutions. Yeah. It's in the world we're in. But so that means you still have leaders and politicians. No no no no, I get what you're saying because you're my worry. Is that. humans are, like, inherently hierarchical. And now we don't have politicians, okay? They are going to find other like people to do the thinking on their behalf.

So it's either going to be religious leaders in. my will probably be TikTok as. okay. It's going to be it's going to be people who used to dance as a hobby. But now make bread. Hey man, we all used to dance, I think. Okay, so two, two last questions on it, right? One is, is are you going to be. voting all the way down to making distinctions about the spending?

When we judge the spending because we say we want free health care, now someone has to decide out of the money that we do have, how much of the budget should leave other things to go to the health care? Right? Is that also going to get a vote? No, because this is where I believe somebody who's good at. numbers is better than somebody who's good at talking. Okay. And I think a lot of the time, our issues in society. come from the fact that politicians get involved in that. But what do they know about it. Like who are they to divide up a budget and be like.

oh we should send this much to defense advice from the bureaucrats. No they're not but they're not. We know that they're not. They're getting advice from lobbyists. They're getting advice from special interest groups. They're getting advice from like someone who's scratching their back. They're getting advice from the company they're going to go to. after they leave government. Yeah, that's where they're getting the advice. Yeah. So I'm again, I'm not even saying my system is perfect. We will discover things we might need to tweak, but I'm saying, the current system is that humans who don't know.

numbers are saying what the numbers splits should be. Have you ever seen these stories where the American military has to, like, spend money, but, like, really fast just because they have excess money? Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And they'll, they'll they'll tell you these stories. They're like they told us, they said, we have to build something. And we were like, we don't need to build anything. And they said, we don't give a shit, build something. And so we built, we built, we built a warehouse in Afghanistan. And you're like, what is the warehouse for there? Like, we don't know. We just built it. But that's a that's a system that's not working correctly.

Right. Because you had an excess. instead of building an empty warehouse. in Afghanistan, you could have built like 50 schools, maybe even more, but you just had to finish that money, because then that's how budget, you see, that's. why I'm saying I would eliminate those people are involved in that. My the issue I'm having is. people vote against their own interests all the time. Yes. And they vote for things that are bad for them. Yes. And in history, the best politics, not even politicians, the best leaders. have gone. against like, say, a Fred Hampton rip, gone against the status quo. Yes.

The people were like, no way. Do you know, like really deeply unpopular idea. And sometimes it's like top down, this is what we're going to do. Like to give an example like the Covid mandate, right. Well, if you don't get this shot you're not coming to work. And then people were like oh some people are like okay I'm going to quit my job. But most people are like all right, shoot me in the arm. Yeah. And then, you know, kind of didn't eliminate. But this life threatening virus.

slowly receded from society, even though was still there. Right. So the thing that we need about politicians. is that they can push through unpopular things by force. that people do not want, but we can take back that power, right? Yes. So now and we can get rid of them. Yes. However, if I'm in a society where I'm in like a minority. that knows that this will be better for us as a group. Yes.

Let's think about gay marriage. Okay? It was like never a popular thing. People were like, no, no, no, no. And then the Supreme Court one day was like, oh yeah, actually, why not? You know, I mean, by the time that happened, the American population in general was not opposed to it, but they did not. It was not contrarian when it was possible. There were enough people that would still vote. No, I don't know, but not enough to win the vote. That's what I'm saying on the app. On the app, they wouldn't have won the votes. That's what I'm trying to say. And so I agree with you. I actually think sometimes I don't think people vote against their best interests,

just like randomly. I think a lot of people vote against their best interest. because they've been sold something that is different to what it is. So if we look at Fred Hampton as a good example, like, right, the leader of the Black Panther organization, when his. when he formed his Rainbow Coalition, what did he do there? He found a way to connect poor white people and poor black people. and put other color people. And he was like, whatever race you are, if you're poor, we're putting you together in a group. And he said to these white people, I know you think that I'm a nigger.

Forget that for now. Are your kids hungry? Yeah, well, they're kids also hungry. Is your house leaking? Their house is also leaking. Let's forget your racism for now. Let's just fix these issues. Let's. Let's band together and let's let's work on this. Right. And what that shows you is that those people once presented. with an issue that solves their problem, don't vote against their best interests. But what politicians do is they get in the way of fixing things. So they say, you you want to vote for, free health care. You know, who's going to use your free health care?

The Mexicans. And then people are like, damn, we shouldn't vote for free health care. So I'm actually arguing, get the politicians out of the storytelling. everyone just has on the app. And when they're in the privacy of their own home. with their own little device talking to their own version of Siri, they just get to have a conversation where it goes like, and they go like, so where's the money going? It's like, well, the pool and or what are we spending? Well, your teachers need more money. And this is do you want them and you can still vote no. But now what you vote is what happens.

There's no one who inflames tensions. There's no one who gives you a story around. That's where that's my issue. Because I think. that you and like politicians is just the name and the label. No, I'm, I know what you're saying is a political act. I, I hear what you're saying. There's going to be that person that's going to go around, do the work. Yes. Go door to door. Yes. And say like, well, the machine is telling you this, but I know. Or they go straight to the machine like Elon would just buy. No, you can't do that. Why? There's money.

No, no, no, you got to pay for it. Because around the world, that's how I'm doing it. You guys forgot that I rule the world. I say that for I rule the world. You think I'm gonna rule the world? There's no wealthy people in this sci fi, this thing. Same way you can't just buy the election system like it. You know, in a functioning country, you cannot. You can't just fight. I can't just be like, I'm buying election. Oh, one day I want to buy an election. That's what I mean. It's. You can't. Just like by election. It's not for sale, is what my point is. That's your guy. That's the thing. I'm not a tyrant. I'm not saying no stories, no narratives, not no.

The difference is, though, let's look. Let's use America as an example. In America, when you ask people about gun safety, overwhelmingly, I mean, the number moves, but like you find at some points, it's like 75% to 80% of the American population agree. that there should be stricter regulations on certain types of weapons. and who can hold them and who can sell them, and who can buy them and what magazines and what I mean, all of it. It doesn't get passed by the people that have been elected to represent the people.

That for me makes no sense. But why don't you just ban lobbyists or like. Because I don't think there's money in politics. No, because I still don't think it's because I think this issue has long. it's like lived beyond lobbying and it's lived beyond. Does that make sense? One thing I agree with within that is that, like. even without the lobbyists, you you can never underestimate. the level of laziness that any given politician has. Like there's all this stuff. where politicians have let their aides read the entire bill.

Yes. Then describe it to them. People are lazy. We're giving them an app. Some people may just have that kid. Well, like you go ahead. You vote for me. No, no, no, no. Our thing has biometrics. You can't do that. Oh, so it's a surveillance. No no no no, it's not it's not surveillance. It's biometric. It's not by. It's biometric okay. It's biometric the same way. This is like I like how you just don't wait. Can I just say. Can I just say this? This. I'm sorry I missed assigned by force. You telling me about dystopian? It's dystopian. Do you? I don't want to give the government my eye. Okay? Okay. Does your does your phone lock using your face? No.

What is your phone lock? Using a number like a normal person. So your phone. No fingerprint until I can get my phone right now. And your phone. I'm not. I'm not taking the mark of the beast. Yeah, but. Yeah. So then I'm saying to you, I'll give you a device that locks using a number. It's just biometrics. But I would know that it's you. Trevor, just paper tick. No, I would not. I would know that it's. You know, I'm making it the most simple. You don't have to go anywhere, you know? Can I tell you what has the highest voting rates?

American idol. They never complain about low voter turnout. Yeah, they've never once been like, nah, we couldn't get enough people to vote. Yeah, because it's like the same poll of people voting no. But it's also because it's simple. It is simple. Okay, I don't think voting should be hard because now I'm going to sound. like a gerrymandering like Republican, but we shouldn't make it too easy. I think it should be too easy to vote no, no, no. I think it should be completely easy because it is the will of the people. Okay. And my last question go ahead. Very last question. Because one thing that comes to mind is, something that just happened in Australia.

a little while ago where the, First Nation people were basically trying. to get a, like a parliamentary advisor, right? Yeah. Recognition in the constitution of recognition and and basically because. all of Australia had to vote for it, it got a no. Okay. Even though it polled. Well, obviously some of this is politicians. And by the time people went there, they were like, wait, are they going to lose their land if they get this? And so there was some confusion there.

But this is something that will never see the light of day. Yes. As long as everybody gets a vote on it, people who really have no stake in it, and then the people with all of the stake in it, because they are such a minority of the group, they don't have the advocacy. that shows the people who aren't affected by it how important it is. Right? So I'm not saying a politician and not necessarily even a lobbyist, but if we're missing out on those people, do we miss the opportunities. for, let's say we're in a country with more men? Yes.

And women I want women. Josh Johnson wants women to have reproductive rights. Right, right, right. And so if more men are voting than women and men feel some type of way, or they're like, I don't care. because it's not me completely, how do we fix that for minority rights? So you say this, you say this, Josh, and this is what I love about you. You have a beautiful, open heart. Josh. That's what I love about it truly is one of the things I love about you most. Contrary to popular. belief, a contrary to popular belief and popular meaning, Christianity,

predominantly human beings are good and human beings are kind. Right. And it may seem like that is not the case, but you do realize. for most of the biggest movements and changes we've experienced in society, the group who is not affected or at least thinks they're not affected, has voted for white people, had to vote to give black people. the vote in America, in South Africa, in many places,

they're literally they have to be like, yes, the black people. And in South Africa, think about how crazy it was. It was a minority as well. In America, you can be like they were like, well, what's the worst that could happen in South Africa? A group of people who are like, what, seven, 8% maybe of the population. were like, we're going to let 90% of the population vote and see what happens. They have to vote for that. When it came to women's voting rights, men were the ones. who voted to let women vote. So I think we should not take for granted. that human beings are a lot better and kinder than we think they are,

because history is littered with examples of people voting, even for people who aren't the majority and aren't the most. And to go back to what you said, there was confusion. People didn't know what it meant. They didn't know if they were actually disenfranchizing the First Nations people. So in my system, it wouldn't do that. It would ask them a simple question and they'd be able to get clarification, and then they would be able to vote. on behalf of the people who do not have the majority, which is what I think most voting is anyway. And I think it would alleviate a lot of those problems.

But humans have shown they have the capability to do it. So I've made my pitch. I'm ready to take the votes. Okay, I'm going to vote yes. Because even if we don't see the politician as, as a sum, a zero sum, good or evil, I do think that their ability to like, just not like just be like, I'm chilling. Yes. Like I represent these ideas, but, like, guys, I don't really care what happens. I just want to get elected again.

So, like, don't even make waves this time. I think if you're free, I think if you're missing that preach, then you then you have a little bit. more access to change quicker than the clip that we've seen. Preach. I'm going to vote now, but not for the reasons that Trevor thinks. Not because I think. human beings are so awful and terrible, even though I do think they are. But because I think that it's easy to get burnt out thinking, like most people do not like to think about political choices all the time.

That's why they outsource these decisions. And I think what would eventually happen, it would be a dictatorship. like people would be. So burnt out. They're like, actually, I don't want to think about this ever again. Is there one person I can do for me, if it's a good outcome, would be a woman dictator, which we don't really get to see often. So there would be more burnt out then. Yeah, and we have now. Yeah, we'll have to like see campaigns and go to a ballot. Yeah. Because most, most listen to things and read things. That one thing I believe about humans is that there are a lot of apolitical.

humans out there, like most people do. I agree with you, but I don't want to think about the politics. This is just issues. They don't want to think about issues. Politics are what humans put on top of an issue. No, just an issue. I don't want to live with issues, but everyone handles issues. No, no. Some people have good lives, Trevor. But even those people, even those people, if you say to them, should we build, another opera house? They're like, yeah, I would like a say in this. So you're saying no because you think that people won't like it more? I think it sounds it sounds really tiring, the system. And I just say that, like,

parents are telling me they're going to be like, please, no. Wow. Yeah. Well, now guess my vote doesn't go through. because Christiana is tired. Don't you? Yeah, I, I don't like that. Well, now imagine now's your chance to, like, defend me and be like. There's a reason. I mean, well, she's just saying she's tired. Well, and that's why she doesn't want to make the world a better place. No, no. Here's my pitch. Here's my pitch for what Christina is saying, though, is that I think that. right now we think that people are politically exhausted.

because of, like, candidates or ads or just like us. Yeah, yeah. I think that that that level of engagement doesn't. necessarily increase just because the quality of someone's life gets better. It's why people stop taking their medicine. You ever see somebody who's sick. and then they get prescribed the medicine and like, man, I feel great. I feel so good. I'm like, I'll take my medicine. That's I mean, this is that, that's kind of what I hear when, when is like making these points is that it's like.

there's a level of apathy that we think we're solving with this one. Oh, one amendment at you. Yeah, okay. We gamified like Candy crush. Candy crush has never struggled with people. I've never seen anyone on the train be like, oh, another level. So I'm saying I'm going to gamify it. I'll make it really entertaining, really cool. This is insane. No, you'll be playing. He's the Joker, you'll be playing the game, you'll be playing the game, and then you'll be like, it'll be like, exciting. And you'll be like. It'll be like level four. And then I'll be like, in between level four. Be like, hey, do you want to, fund another school? And then it'll be like, you're like, yeah, we should fund another school.

And then you go back that crazy candy. It is. It is a little dystopian. People always have time for games. People. No, one. Guys. Guy's the reason social media makes so much money. It's not because people are tired of being. People are tired of engaging people, tired of engaging in boring things. I can't believe I votes out of engaging boring things with not even one person. puts down their phone and goes like, too much. Tick tock. Christianity. You're guilty of this. I know you spend seven hours on your phone and you don't have 10s to go to.

10s to vote in my app. Guys. I will make my voting system cutesy and demure. I'm with you. But now your behold it to the attitude of somebody who is getting annoyed. because they can't pass a certain level. Yeah, and and no, I'm saying this different gamification will find a way. I just think it's a little dystopian to be like, play for your right. The I know what I'm saying is make it interesting was a dystopian. make it interesting. You know what? If I ruled the world? I wouldn't ask you guys if I brushed any doors.

I should have said that if I ruled the world, I would just do shit. That's what I would do. I would just do shit and we'd live in a better world. You guys could play your game well. Anyway. Thanks. Thanks for coming. Thanks for joining us here. I need to go and re evaluate my views on democracy and and the system. Josh. Christiana, as always, it was a pleasure. What now? With Trevor. Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions.

The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Thomas Yamin and Jody AV. Again, our senior producer is Jess Hackel. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music mixing and mastering by Hamas. Brown, thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?