If I Ruled The World: Creating Chaos with Anele & Sizwe! - What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

Okay. What do you think is worse? Finding out the person you with has a secret husband or wife, or being the secret husband and wife. finding out that there's a secret. Because if you are the secret, you don't control you. You know that you're in control, Yeah, yeah. Don't ever be the one who gets blindsided. Now, you that you'd rather be the secret. Secret? Yeah, there's power in that. It's the one that's the secret. Has got the toys. It's got the toys to not be the secret. They don't.

The one that is, that is none the wiser. All of their choices have been taken away. You might never know. I would, I always think to myself. It would be nice to be at a funeral and find things out. You know, you hear these stories of people where they're at a funeral. and they find the person they've been married with two forever, right? And then at the funeral, they meet another family and they're like, oh, who are you? We've never met you. And they go with the family and they're like, no, no, we're the family. And then it becomes, I think that's nice because it's nice to like, because think about a funeral. You feel like it's the end of your journey. But now it's nice to be like there's like a spinoff series.

Nothing fun. There's nothing fun about finding out it's better than the person just dying. Guys. No, no, no. I'd rather my dad dies. And then we go. And then we all the one family going there and also one family coming back. That's it. Wouldn't you rather have, like, new siblings? No. New everything. Because, guys, the reason I am so selfish. That's your problem. You're selfish. The one that said I want a spinoff series. And this is what? Now.

Trevor Noah. Check out this distance. Mouth. What is it? It's easy. Oh. The thing. What's that? My hand lotion. Yes, I'm doing it. Jesus, this is amazing. I'm doing it. It's not like. Is this just an excuse for you? Just trying to show us your ring. That is funny. I don't need any. I've noticed since marriage you've taken, like,

the amount of hand gestures you do. Rubbish, rubbish. I always walk with my. No, you see, you spoke like that with your hands. Yeah. You've been with me for how many years? You've never complimented my hand cream. And then now you're like, oh, the hand cream. Smell it like you've just scrubbed. You smell it. You smell it. Good day to save lives, people. Congratulations. Thanks. Do you know we haven't you know, we haven't been on the podcast since you've been married. Oh, yes. No. What I was thinking when I was on my way here.

is that you basically have a podcast all around me, because the first time was when I was turning 40. That's true. Then the second time was when my movie was nominated for an Oscar. Yes. And now I'm engaged. This is the What Now podcast. Thanks to you, I need. to write me my check. So how does it feel to be a wife? I'm, like, spoiled and pampered. It's nice. I do nothing, which is great because the other way round. No. Yeah, that's what they.

That's what they try to sell us women. That. Yeah. You must cook. You must clean. None of that. The real marriage is it's the men that does everything. Wait, so you don't cook anymore? I do cook, but that's all I need to do. Oh, okay. Like, absolutely all I need to do. Yeah, because I was going to be like, you're not cooking. is a bit of a bit of punishment for me. No, but for everyone. No, but for everyone. It's just it's like a concept now. Now I have, like, a vested interest in destroying your marriage. But. No, don't. I'm saying if you didn't cook, I'm saying if you didn't cook. Okay? No, I promise you, it's, It's so nice to find a partner.

Like, I've literally found an equal like he is. My partner is like. Is my dude is my guy. That's amazing. Yeah, I feel so protected and safe, and it's just the entire thing. Also, because he's the one person in the world. that I don't have to convince to be on my side. Oh, he's automatically he's automatically, automatically on my side. But while in public. But if you get home. No, no, that's the whole point of it. And then if you up in public, you say, yeah, I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm with you. And then when you go, yes, it's.

the opposite of Elon Musk and Donald Trump. Yeah. No. Totally. Yeah. They were supposed to do. If they were married, they'd do it the other way around. They just went together too many places. That's another thing that I've realized. That's how every relationship ends. Exactly. Yeah. There's no ways that you guys can beat. I mean, every time we saw Donald Trump, Elon Musk was there. That relationship that's going to fail. How have you been since? Are you married? Maybe. Ha ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! And you know what?

It's so plausible that this would get married until nine of us. He would do this, and and he does this every now and then and social media. We've you know, he's like y'all sitting with my wife and kids, and then people have a meltdown because if you. every woman in the country is hoping to pick his wife and kids. Wait, have you actually done this? What makes you say, like, I was sitting with my wife and kids and then. Oh, sometimes. Yeah. Why do you do that? Because maybe I'm married. Who does this? Sometimes I look at the wife and she be like, yo, eat that.

And then one day when I show my kids, it's easy. Like. when they. Oh, did you look at these guys? Your wedding is going to be the first wedding I've ever attended. I know that ever in my life. I know that in this. Are there any two second. You've worked at a wedding? Yeah, but that's not attending a wedding. A lot of people work at weddings, bruh. And imagine the people serving food are like, oh, this is my fourth wedding of a tinder. No, where you work out the wedding and my mashed potato is cold. Yes. You don't work. You don't attend a wedding. If you're working at a wedding.

I've never attended a wedding ever in my life. Is there anything I should know beforehand? Are there things I should or shouldn't do? No. You. I mean, you'll be fun. Trevor, you've been to the Oscars and the Grammys, I think. Yeah, but that's not the same. You sure? Oh, goodness. Here we go. Oh, boy. Did you panic when you have to go to events like that? Because a little bit of me is panicked for you. Why? Because of people and I. And I know my people, and I love my people. But you must realize something else about a wedding is that those are not.

Oh, they're not all your people. So, you know, it's funny you say that. So part of the reason I've never been to weddings is because I work too much. And the other reason is people. don't invite me to their weddings or people uninvite me because I'm me. So multiple brides have said we don't want Trevor at our wedding. because you can't have two brides. Well there you have it. And the men who look the really. Ready to wear the bridal gala. I mean come on. No, literally people have said to me, they go, so then the husband will have to come and tell me, hey, man,

we're getting married then. Well, congrats wins. And they're like, yeah, that's why I'm here to tell you. She asked that you don't come and I'll be friends with both of them. And she's like, yeah, I just don't want Trevor there. And you know what? People don't understand? I have a hard rule that I do not take photos at weddings with people. Right? Because it's all about the couple with me. No selfies, no selfie. Okay. Would you know, would you be offended if I came in a disguise? No. I'd actually be quite entertained.

because I was thinking about this the other day. Michael Jackson used to go out. Yeah, in full prosthetic makeup. And I was like, maybe I'll come as, like an old man from some way, just, like, make it interesting. And then when people say, oh, wait, Trevor here's yeah, yeah, you just go like he's here, you can see him. He's here. I'll just put you at my dad's table. Yeah. And I'll just be like, I can just be like some old man from some. And I've known that for many years. So accepting. And they need what, the wife. What they want you full time and then, like, who is this guy? I'll just be like the life is a good idea.

I'll be the life of the party and then watch as the evening progresses. No review, no, no review, no review. Okay. I just roll through your party. Just rum. Yeah. John Manuel. Oh, yes. I've known for many years. But do you not want to be seated around your friends? I do so, but then people are going to be like, who's the random guy with Kyle? Well, we've known him for years. That's all you got to say. You are one of those people when no one will wonder. why you know a random French person. This is true. You've traveled the world. This is very true.

You're close friend. This. This is shame. There's a poor French person who's going to get a croissant at the wedding. Now everything has. You know about me taking. He means this guy, and he's going to be like, guys. Oh, no. And then they come up to my. I him. I don't be like that. No. Boy. Man, it's going to be crazy. Well, the reason I invited you here, my friends, is I realized the other day. we've never played a game of if I rule the world together.

If, How does it work? Yes. You know what? I knew you're going to want, like, the rules. And I'm going to have to break them down for you, and then we'll just play the game. Yeah, because you're a normal human being. Caesar is a robot. So I have to explain this to you. If I rule the world. But don't think of it as like, you. It's not like a it's magic, but it's not magic, okay? It's a thought exercise, so. Doesn't need to make sense. It's the hope. It's better if it doesn't make sense. But your motives need to make sense.

And what you're trying to do is convince the other two people that your. idea of the world should be implemented because you justify it. You get, I'm saying 100% since we go, if I rule the world, all elections would be at the same time. All countries like human elections on this day, same limited terms. And we all go to elections and we vote and then we rule. There's more to this. I'm going to add to it as you progress. But that's a start. Okay, so if you rule the world, everyone in the world.

would have their elections on the exact same day. Yes, exact same time. Basically, you two would be aligned. Yeah. My question that even countries that don't have elections, you would say. Well, so, you know, you love question. This is a very good point. Random question. So great. You raise a very good point. So when everybody else has elections. Yeah. Countries like North Korea, Burkina Faso, you just load your gun,

that's a day you load your gun. Okay? So if you're you exchange your power, weapons of violence, you get in probably of that day. Okay? Then we show you judging how they elect a leader. Yeah, but you just wanted to happen at the same time. Yes, but wait, why? So that's the person who comes into power, comes to power. with every other person, and then you guys lead in unison. I like the idea, but I'm worried about a few things. Okay, first of all, do you not worry that if we do this, you could create.

a world where everything goes wrong at the same time? Because think, okay, let's let's look at the world right now. Right. So Donald Trump won the election before Donald Trump won, most or many countries in the world was shrinking rights. Right? So in Canada, they were leading right. The right wing party was going to win all over Europe. Right wing parties were going to like this was everywhere. It was, you know, people were leading, right. Donald Trump wins, starts playing with me. He's playing right into my trap. Yeah, I don't know why you said in traps.

What kind of friendship. No, it's just not a trap. So anyway. But no no no. But now. So everyone. And then what happened was people went actually wait, we don't want that. Yes, we don't want that. So we're not going to vote that way. And then Canada flipped the other way. Right. So the Liberal Party won. And then around the world it started happening in other places. I think Australia had a similar outcome. So aren't you worried that if everyone votes. at the same time, everything can go wrong at the same time? So you're 100% correct that would happen or that does have a potential to happen.

Yeah, right. But that's actually not a bad thing. That's a good thing. In fact, it's one of the mitigating factors of disaster. because the greatest risk is inequality. Some of the. greatest countries actually fail because they do so well, while other countries are doing so poorly that people flock. to these great countries, then these countries get burdened. Health care, everything really starts to fail because everybody's going there. If we all are failing,

nobody's going to leave the country because what are you going like? So so every like, every zone must be a war zone. Right. And they don't necessarily have to be war. But if the economy is tanking, it's taking everywhere. I'm telling you, there's going to be no 46 refugees going to you. because everyone's a refugee. Yeah. Everybody's going to stay at home and do their own needs. Where are we going? Listen. Speaking. No, I don't think that argument holds towards it. because then I'd still go want to go somewhere else for better weather. Oh, yeah. You can go for better. Yeah. But if you don't travel for better weather, I mean, I don't know.

Okay, I understand Africans, Africans, yes. Let's say definition of refugees. Yes. South Africans really have changed the definition of refugees. because before this, refugees only went to another country. because like they had to and they had no life. And they didn't have wheels of refugees. They were black. They were like, normally refugees have baggage, not luggage. This is very different. So, Yes. I hear what you're saying, but I, I don't think people will travel for weather, but.

I do think I have less rights about places still being better than other places. Yeah. So places will inherently be better than others. But do you want to take it all at once or when? All at once? Well, the idea is not to change anything. The idea is actually to progress all at once. Because now here's my idea of the leadership, okay, go. It's essentially the Avengers of each. region. Let's speak about Africa. Maybe to start off with, okay, when you look at the liberation of Africa.

from colonialism, obviously you get staggered. But majority of the good times happened between 1955, like maybe 1965. Right? This is the good times for Africans or for the colonial powers. No. For Africans. Okay, okay. It's getting up and getting okay. Okay, cool. But if you look at the people that were at the helm of leadership at the time, yeah, Kwame Nkrumah, for example, in Ghana, you had Julius. Nyerere in Tanzania, you had Kenneth Kaunda in Zambia.

You had all those people. I mean, a lot of time we even wasn't in South Africa, but working for the ANC stationed in, in Lusaka. Right. You need people to think in a similar fashion. and then to help each other along the way, like, yo, man, let's do this, let's do that. Because it doesn't help for a Trevor to be like, okay, I'm holding down South. Africa things. I'm maybe girl okay here. And then I need is busy messing things up in Kenya. But how do you know that everything is going to stabilize. at the same time as well? Because each different region. is going to come up, come against different resistance 100%.

It won't stabilize at the same time, but you will start working towards the goal at random at the same time. I do think that there is some merit to this, because if you think about. every, every conflict and every negotiation that happens around the world, many of them are thrown off by regime change at the wrong time. Yes, right. So Israel Palestine is a good example. Some of the most progress they ever made was thrown off by an Israeli election.

Then all of a sudden there was a new leader. who's like, actually with you, everything you were agreeing to. Yeah, I don't care about it. And we're starting again. Trump is a great example as America was. You know, Joe Biden was like, I'm doing this, I'm doing this. And then even the other way, by the way, you know, when Joe Biden, when Joe Biden came in after Trump, it. throws everything off. but wants to say that every. it doesn't matter about the timing that we all getting a new lead at the same time. Maybe I come in and I don't agree with what has been happening in this, but what you're saying is that you don't agree, but it's you're saying you don't agree at the same time at least.

Yeah, we also we just have elections. It's not to say that just because the elections. were going to change, we may have elections to decide. We keeping on for another five years or have a longer term is right. Also, your people get to decide. So the majority wins. But winner takes all like the electoral college right? So even if you win by 51% now, you're going to be a dictator the other 49. So this is what you're adding to your thing. Yeah, that's I agree with wow. Yeah. So now you've got my attention.

So if you win by 51% yeah. Now everybody's got to roll with you. There's none of this. Every time you go to put this thing to a referendum you lost bro. So now take your L salad. These stones. Let's go. Sometimes. And I think this is South Africa. at times that we just do need a little bit of a dictatorship. Just a little one letter B one works exactly that way. Not a big one. if that's what you mean. Like come on Trevor. Just a little dictatorship. Come on. Just a tip. So you are all in on an election on one day and the winners take it all. Yes.

I just want to throw one thing here just to confirm. before I vote on your measure, do the winners in your system. have the right to say that there's no more elections going forward? No. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So what's the main thing that you think this will fix, though? The progress will move a lot quicker. and it will fix the idea of progress. Well, not necessarily progress, but the timing issue.

A lot of what we have. is also just the timing issue, which you've already mentioned. Countries starting at the at a different time, wrong time, 100%. Yeah. We don't get to start a negotiation at the same time. And also here's one very important fact that if people don't consider. each era requires a different type of leadership, but then who decides that it is now time for a different type of leadership? So I can only give you the opportunity the people actually decide. So what will happen is on aggregate,

the people will elect the people that they think they need the most. Then I'll say, okay, this country has decided. this country can go left, that country can go right, but they all going to go wherever they need to go at that time. I'm not. You know, when you started, I was. I was a solid. No but you are I'm not. No I mean look, sense is the one thing you always make. The thing I worry most about is, like, feasibility, but sense. Yes. No, no, it's not feasible. You know, you're going to be.

the first person who's ever argued against themselves. So let's go myself out of the W. Let's go, let's go. Okay, so you look at game theory. Game theory. Yes. Basically there are certain models that help us determine. what human behavior is likely to tell us. Right. So I'll use the stack theory for one. If us three decide. that we're going to go hunting. And we can either go hunting for a stag.

If we get a stag, we are all going to eat. Yeah, so much so that we're going to be full. and there's going to be meat left over. But the tools for us to be able to hunt a stag are very particular. When we leave the house. We need to decide next. Yeah. Or we can all go hunt for rabbits. Now we all three of us need to contribute to be able to get the stag. But if you want to go down the rabbit, you can do it by yourself. And you eat it by yourself. Yeah. You almost guarantee that you will catch a rabbit if you go hunt for rabbits.

Okay, but a rabbit in this video for maybe half a day. There you go. Go get you another rabbit. Yeah, but if we decide to get a stag and we catch a stag. Whoa, we going to be chilly. It's Bountiful. Yes. And so what does game theory suggest? Now we all, we all start from different houses. and we can't communicate with tools we won't take. We agree. Yeah. Then we're going to go hunt first day. Yeah. Then you go sleep at home while you sleeping Trevor goes. oh no, this is really going to hunt for a stag with me. Because if I just go and hunt for a rabbit, I'm guaranteed I'm going to eat.

However, if I think we hunting for a stag and season, it doesn't be with me. We all are going to starve humans because they act in their own best interest. Will most likely all go for a rabbit. But is that true though? Is that how society is? If you think about it right? Think of tribes, think of cultures, think of everything. that goes against game theory in a way we hopeful. So again within us. Three you may take it for a given that all go for a stag.

Yeah. But obviously there's emotions involved as we all friends. First I'm going to bring another guy we don't know. He's a part of us. No, no you're not. There's a problem. You see. Yes. Because it's a trusting. It is a trust. It's a thought society. Okay. But now. Yeah, but now let's bring it back to. So why do you think that'll hurt your voting system? Because inevitably, it means that this system will break down at some point. And what do you think? Will it as the monarch may give an instruction.

and these prime ministers or presidents may go against my instruction? No. You will decide to hard. No, but they may go actually. No, no, no, no. You rule the world. Look at you. Can't doubt yourself, bro. Look at Royal. No, no, no, I'm not doubting myself. I'm doubting humans, actually. And it is not convinced yet. I'm not. I'm absolutely not convinced. You are starting to make sense now about humans, acting in self-interest. Yeah. And this is why I don't think your theory would work is because sooner or later,

people like power. No one's going to want to let go of power. regardless of what other countries are doing. And actually, that's when we will start fighting with other countries. That's how world wars happen, because we just start fighting other countries. because we don't agree on how we should all be doing things. So tell me, how do you think you can work with this? Because I believe the way to mitigate this. I can't work with it. It doesn't work at all. Okay, just to say you good on this probably doesn't look good. Wait. But wait wait wait wait wait. The broadcaster. It means like CNN can't keep up with all these elections at the same time. Easy. But that's a good thing.

What do you mean, that's a good thing? We don't care about the broadcasters. This is about democracy. What would you like? I can't believe that you literally just went away. And if anything, I know that the world is at stake. But, guys, what about CNN? Yes. You literally brought it in. You brought CNN up. I read about the state of the world. Yes, because somebody has to report on it. Guys. No. Why? Because somebody doesn't know what's happening. Why? How are these countries? But nobody has got it. Let me get it. No. But know you know, we'll cover these elections. It will be covered locally. Yes. By who?

But by the nine over seven other world. No. But guys. But guys also, we are people. You have to know what's happening in the other countries this way. No we don't actually, you can just take this. This is the beauty. This is the beauty of the system. Every country takes care of its own. You know what Caesar was doing? Yes. But how would you know if the other countries okay to the rules? So can I tell you what Caesar was doing? As you both know, I'm a. big fan of football, as Americans say, soccer. And on the final day of the Premier League. in England, a lot of leagues do this around the world.

What they started doing is they started saying that every game on. the final day is played at the exact same time. So every other week games are staggered so that you can watch all the games. and you can see who won, who all, and then you play the next game. But what they realized at some point was on the final day, there are teams who will play a certain way. because they already know a result has gone in a direction that suits them. Oh you see? So they would go, if we win this game,

our rivals who are playing another game actually benefit. So we should lose this game. to hurt our rivals because they're in a lower position on the table than we are. So then they realize, no, every game was played exactly the same time, so that you don't know how your fate is going to affect the other will be affected. by the kids. Must hate that. No, I mean, I think they love it actually, because it's chaos. Wookiees love chaos, Right. But the thing it's done. Cesar's point is, it's made it that everyone just has to focus on their game. You can't play your game based on another game.

And so what Cesar was basically saying is you shouldn't. have your election in your country based on another country. And in fact, let's be honest this think about it, America. has an outsized influence on other countries elections. Yep. But they don't really have an outsized influence on the effect. inside your country. You get I'm saying there are many countries in the world. who will vote a certain way because of the vibe that America is putting out. And that may not be in the best interests of the country if they voted blindly.

An example you won't be able to like, oh, we saw what happened with Brexit. What are we thinking? No, it's like it's all happening at once. We all walk out of our doors the next day and we're like, how you did that? And now we're in. Okay. So that's that's what he's saying. Any more questions? Because I've got so many more answers. I mean, how long have you been thinking about this, but about ruling the world? This is what wakes up every day thinking this. every single day since we see.

you ask himself, he goes like, why don't I rule the world? That's what he asked himself. Every day when he wakes up, that's what he's asking you. Be that every day. Chug chug chug chug chug chug. Just him, you know, student of ChatGPT. Really? I believe that because you are ChatGPT. Why would an AI use an AI? I've always felt like is cheating. Yeah, because you're an AI. Just, you know, man, what happens with intrinsic knowledge? Just work with what you got, bro. No, bro. But you know, people like doping though. Where did you get it? This knowledge from book. Yeah, but this is like a book. So that should be teased. But it's not an open book test.

See? That's life bro. Study before the test. Don't get distracted by this guy. So are you ready to vote? Yeah. So we're voting, I vote for Cece's amendments. Do I get to vote? No. You you you can't vote. Okay, well, it's going to be a stalemate, then. Yeah, then you lose. That's how it works on this show. You didn't say that. Is that your I blew up? No, that's how it works. Oh, man. No, that is exactly how I said no no no no no no no no.

I'm I'm pretty. I just need more explanations. Maybe just like, on a grand. Okay, explain to me how this idea is worse than what we currently have. She wants CNN to be able to cover. you. Lost. And then when you said CNN can't cover elections, the broadcaster in her. got so hurt, it's because you you make it seem like it's going to be so easy. Things are going to happen and then it's going to be smooth sailing. But as we've seen with countries and elections, it is really the most. tumultuous time of any country and wants a tumultuous.

Oh yeah, not saying everything is going to be solved by this. I'm just saying it's just a better system than not we currently have. That's all it is. I'm not saying we're not going to solve every problem with this dude. There are plenty of problems, but it definitely is an improvement from what we have. Caesar is basically saying, you know, sometimes you go to a party. and then people get drunk at different times in the night. Caesar's like, everyone's getting drunk at the same time. Oh, you all getting wasted at the. If there's a fight, everyone's fighting. I hate that I'm not convinced. Using a drunk,

because she knows there's going to be. There's going to be a moment where there's peak enjoyment for everybody or chaos. Yeah. Because, you see, the other argument is if you go to a party. and people get staggered, it is nice to have a few sober people to be like, hey, man, you've had too much. and then other people to be drunk and make the party move. That's what. That's what it is. But hold on. So let me explain this. Right. So let's go. Let's say it goes pick chaos. Yeah, right. You know what's worse than chaos? Staggered chaos. You think so? Yes. Try to break up a fight. Yeah. And then as soon as you don't bring up this fight,

then another one breaks out there. Another one result. Rather this one. Huge fights. Then when the guys are done, you go, okay, now let's go clean the blood. So when, when everyone has killed each other. Yes. Essentially, because that's what each other. That's. not possible for everybody to kill each other. Okay. One, we've been standing. If anything, this theory just gets better and better. I'm not going to go back and soldier against it. You want to go down voting against that? All right. No. I'm sorry, but why you vote against. No. Exactly. That the weak die. That's that's.

Oh, you've got an allegiance to equals. No. Is that what you say? No, but I'm just saying that you kind of. have a chaotic system everywhere in the world. So everywhere. It's like there's war. Everywhere. They're fighting. But that's a worst case scenario. It will never happen like that. No, but that's not how the game works. You can't be like, well, you know, on the best case. scenario, it's unlikely to happen like that. because this theory is based on majority ruling. And generally people are scared of the majority. Yes. But once again, the majority themselves can also fight amongst each other.

So you're thinking that just because the majority rules and it's going to be fine, nothing's going to happen. But now once we've done winning and now we are. the 51% that then becomes 100% in charge of everything, we're gonna start fighting inside the 51% because inherently humans want power. Sounds like you're still a no, no, no, wait. Forget you still haven't been to me. How? The status quo is better at mitigating that than my system, though. As in what's currently happening now? Yes. No, that wasn't my job to explain that.

Sorry, I will, I know, I know, things are not going well, but your system is definitely not better. Sorry. Way better. Sorry, Caesar. This is how it works. You're a hater. But it's fine. All that matters. I nearly would have voted for this. And no. Wow. Just change the song, okay? It's all right. Yeah. Okay. Well, Caesar, I'm sorry. I'm familiar with the feeling you have right now. I. I've never won. And if I rumble.

Yeah, because your idea is horrible. Who's the hater now? I'm just saying. Wow. Ideas are great. We're going to continue this conversation right after this. short break. And, Lizzy, are you okay? If I ruled the world, I have to actually have to. And I always have to. So I just pick your best one. Okay? My best one. If I ruled the world, everyone and I mean everyone. would have to live ten minutes from where they work.

Max. Max. Ten minutes by car, by train, by bus, by walking, by everything. So I find that. every single country has to have such a great public service transport system. Yeah, that it doesn't matter. where you where you work, but you have to live ten minutes away, have to live ten minutes so no one can live more than you want to. That's that's really up to you. But I just feel that life would be easier if if everyone's.

commute to work was shorter. I mean, I'm with you now, but now you giving us, like, a like a makes system. Oh, much so it makes sense, but it's not practical at all. Oh, really? Mr. mayor, since we like. But I want to know. Wait, wait wait, I want to know more. The wise. Let's let's go to the wise before we before we. So why? Because I find that most people. and and this is obviously not the higher echelon that can take helicopters to work. Right. Yes. Yeah. Well done to them.

But I find that. most people who are just working middle class people who are just working, which is most of the world, they spending so much on getting to work, that it literally then cut, cut your budget in terms of things that you could do for your family. Okay. Yeah. No, 100% correct. If it ideally is that no one should be spending any money to get to work, not even money. Just a time. Okay, wait, wait, are you saying time or money? Both. Time is money. And when do you never have you never walk the streets? That is why I never walked the streets.

Yes, my time is a glue. Of course. Time is money. I don't think time matters to me as much as the money. The money where you should not have to pay anything to get to work. So which one are you going for? You. Are you charging? Are you, Are you amending your ten minute rule to a money thing? I'm not, I'm not putting it to the front line, you know, but I need to know what your rule is so I can use the rules. No, I can absolutely. I just need to know what the rule is. You rule the world.

You rule the world. Okay. Well, okay. He's gonna help us fix our world. No, wait. Don't mansplain her world. No, no. Miss me? She's not gonna have. No. You know what I want to hear? What any less world is that you should not have to pay okay? To go to India. Let's just make a rule. A world where people tell this guy this guy's mansplaining a world. No, no, I'm not misbehaving. You just want to work and don't let him pressure you. And the time doesn't matter. No, but I want to know what you like. The stuff that only happens in the movies.

It's like this. In your work. It's your world. Now, that's. No, I don't want that. Okay, so you must have some sort of commute. Okay. So you want people to come up? Okay. I'm. I'm drilling down on the. So I like the. So you don't want to eliminate the commutes. Yeah. Okay. But you don't want people to spend more than a certain amount. So there's no time. Any money. No money. Yeah. No time. Ten minutes max. Okay. So ten minutes and no cost. Yeah. Whoof. Okay. That's fine. That that works. This is good. It's teleporting.

Okay, now, here's what I worry about. What are you going to do when your cities and systems. grow to the point where it can't sustain? Because like, you can, only you can only. I just said that. I'm asking it as a question, Caesar. It's a question, Caesar. Okay, then you transferred to another company, guys. Well, you're doing the same thing, so I've got to move now. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. How much? I like my house. I yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, you see, now you're falling. I'm fine.

No, I'm not qualified. Well, yeah, but Caesar has raised a good question. Yeah. What? You're moving us now to another place. We were ten minutes away. I'll see your question again. Okay. Yeah, well, I interrupted you. Was you okay at some point? Yeah. Just you're going to reach capacity. It's inevitable. Right. Because at some point a city has to expand it just it, it cannot go up. Even if it did your elevators would. Now you know what I mean. The elevator would be your commute okay. So at some point the city has to expand.

There's going to be some sort of sprawl. Once that happens. People are now outside of the. the distance that you've said or the pricing that you've set. So you then said people must now do what? So what people are going to move out? Because I'm asking you, I don't make the rules in your world. I just want to know what you're doing. No. Because now. Because. No. Okay, I know, but now you guys are asking things that. That doesn't make sense. You've been to Brazil? Yes, I have Sao Paulo. Sao Paulo? Yes. Have you seen the traffic in Sao Paulo?

No, I didn't, it was an F1 weekend, so I didn't get to experience any of the. the hardships of the traffic. Oh, I've, I've experienced, Lagos traffic though in Lagos. Okay. Sao Paulo, even Kenya in the Delhi. Let me tell you something. No, forget this. You see, like Kenya. in often there's places I've been to where there's only traffic. Like it's just perpetual, okay, perpetual. And but most of those places are densely populated, and there's just. no way for there to not be any type of hell even.

Yeah. Then you should be allowed to say, okay, guys, no one's allowed to move to LA anymore. Okay? Now. Oh, somebody else. They move somewhere else. So you're done? Yes. We're done. Yeah. We've we've reached maximum capacity. So my family can't move here now because. Well, if your family wasn't in from the beginning, that's it. Because we also have to, flex in the fact that people in here. are going to have fam, what happens if you get married? His wife. Yes. Colloquially, when you are inside here, this is it. So your so your marriage, your partner, you could only meet people from your city. Then.

there we go. Highly incestuous. Yeah. What anybody wants to in we in want you in. Yeah. You in here okay. And Mr. Economist over here. You must do that thing with this. Like a little bit of fact. You you have room for fact. Okay. You have room for that. And then it's like, okay, if there are 5 million people in here, let's allow that. It can grow. You can grow two who you know, you know what's funny is. and I mean, this is something I love about like all policies and ideas.

in the world, this started as a very. liberal, beautiful idea. Yes. And then reality. And then it slowly moved into like a nationalist dictatorship. Yeah. Like which I'm not, not a fan of, you know, how cities are formed generally. Really. Yeah. But they don't say you can't move in and you can't move. No, no, no, they don't see I mean that's an extreme. Yes. You can definitely move out to where the other students, you know. Well they not all of them are full. Why they're not why the literal job is a job. Yes.

So we go there and all people must start developing, making some. So, you know, you're placing a huge burden on us right now. Oh, how much less than the burden that we place on one city. I'm sorry. I think I'd rather be in traffic for an hour. It's have to. Okay. Wait wait wait wait wait. So. Okay, here's a question. What if you were, like, a taxi driver or an Uber driver? You're. You work in transportation, so now you're limiting how much people. can earn from that, that that driver that was a distance.

Yeah. Yes. But that means you guys are always going to be busy. Oh, but just doing a lot of it. Yeah. You just always instead of doing ten trips. No. Instead of doing ten trips that 50 cars, an 80 cars, you want to do. 110 K trips, guys, you guaranteed payment free? Yes. Who's paying us? So the government is paying I I'm in charge. Okay, okay. So you government pays for transport. Yeah. It doesn't matter with enough money to do this. Yes. Okay. No. Why don't you just give people money? Oh no no no no no no no no, Cesar, that's not how it works.

If I rule the world, you can't say. Why don't they do another? Yeah. Okay, so I have a question for you. Your government is paying everyone for transport. What if, people then. So I'll tell you a little fun story. That happened. This happened in Nigeria. Uber, the company we're all familiar with, went from country to country trying to grow its operations. One of the things that did. that was particularly ingenious and sinister at the same time was. they gave incentives to drivers in all of these countries.

to drive for Uber by giving them bonuses. So they said, if you take if you agree to drive for Uber. and you pick somebody up from, let's say, an airport where we really need drivers, we'll give you a bonus. So we'll give you like double the amount of the fare that it would normally be. And they went and they did this in almost every country. Is that sustainable? It's not supposed to be. The only thing that we're trying to do is establish themselves in the markets. and get a stranglehold on it so that, like taxis and all these other. industries wouldn't get to compete. Exactly. So they get crowded out right.

now. It worked in most places in Nigeria. However, Nigerian taxi drivers and Uber like people who had cause, they did the calculation and realized that. they could make money but not really have to drive anybody. So what Uber drivers in Nigeria did was they signed up to be Uber drivers. They then called themselves from the airports, picked up nobody from the airport, drove themselves back into the city.

and then got the bonus amount, which was which paid for. Yes. And then they then they took themselves back to the airports to get another fare. That was a bonus because it was a bonus. Then you just living off the bonus and they were making so much money. doing this that Uber canceled the scheme for the whole world. Basically, things are so genius bro. Kudos to Nigeria. Oh, because Uber was scamming and then Nigeria was like, you want to scam. you want to scam, you came to the head office. Well, I want to show you something.

When Nigeria taught Uber a lesson, now I'm not saying that will or won't happen, but what I worry about in your system is you're saying transport is free. How are you going to ensure that like the people who are doing. transport don't just transport for, for the sake of transport now. because you working with people who are working. Right. So is it is the onus is also on the person who's being transported. to show where they're working. It's like it's because you have to remember. Yes, yes. Remember. So you're talking to a taxi driver that you're going to a job,

but all of that will be factored in by companies. It's much like companies will subsidize things. You know how companies subsidize things, or you have a, a company called. okay, petrol card and you must write how far you went. That's fine. That's all. Admin file that all under admin. It seems like a very admin heavy system you've created. What world isn't nobody like yours is like particularly. Yes, but you're getting free transport. I don't think you should mind clocking in when you're getting free transport. I'm doing you a favor. Yeah. When you started. Yeah. Like most ideas, it's not like it was really beautiful.

As we've gone down this journey I'm picturing living in. Unless world. you. You get out of your house. and then you get into your transports. You clocked in transport. Transport has proof of work. Please. Yes, proof of work. Oh, what if you're just going, like fun places, then pay for yourself. Oh, this is interesting that you've said this. That's your recreational thing. Okay, so now I don't know that this is true,

but what might happen and our AI colleague over here will confirm or deny. I think what might happen is if your system pays. for people to go to work, but people have to pay for themselves. to go to like, entertainment. First of all, you have to prove that the people for work are going there, not for entertainment, but also the market for entertainment. could become more valuable than the work markets. And then people would go, I only want to drive. for the entertainment market, not for the work market.

Like if I'm a taxi driver and I get paid by the government. to drive people to work, but then Caesar wants to go to the club. Now I go, Caesar, I already have a fair. It's taking this person to work. Caesar goes, I'll pay you double because I'm paying enough in this, though, to defend the system. You live ten minutes away from work. Even if there are no cars to work. Walk to work? Yeah, but that can't be a ten minute walk, guys. I mean, if you know how transportation works. Oh, she's ten minutes. She didn't say seven is walking. Yes, but it can't. It can't be the same. It can't be ten. Walk ten.

Have to use Google Maps every time you change them. It's going to change okay. Ten walking don't change. Because if you say ten, don't let them trip you. No, no, this was never asked of me. This would be the first time I'm giving my own task. Exactly. So it's ten walking. Oh, it's ten walking. So the whole city's ten walking? Yeah. Your whole city's ten walk. Yeah. Okay. But don't get distracted from the entertainment point that you. I mean, I want to go back, not ten walk. So now we walk to work, everyone. And we drive to party. Everyone works ten minutes from. Yeah. What if I don't want to live where my work is in that way?

That's fine. That's up to you. If you want to move further away, you opted out. So, for instance, once again, let's say. you have a company car allowance of $30,000, right? And you're just like, no, I don't want to drive a Prius. I want to drive an X5. That's great. You still going to get your 30,000 from us? But everything else you can then top yourself up, right? So we're saying, yeah, there's something we're missing here. Everyone works ten minutes.

Isn't this person in this world? And I'm going to make gazillions. How are you going to do it? I've just thought of so many loopholes. Okay, you know, this is why. This is why I can look at put Pokeballs. I know it's not a wrong thing. Keep. You will just make money. You. Have never. I know I've never encountered somebody like this. This guy's not even trying to, like, help. He's going. He's going to actually vote for him. He's going to vote for you. So that he can make money in a theoretical world. So there's something truly wrong with you. So, okay, all I worry about is,

I can see the system crumbling somehow. Because ten minutes for everyone. means somebody is not where they want to be. Ten minutes from me. Because not everyone can be ten minutes from there. No, no, no, I'm saying they can't be. Even if they want to be. You can you reach capacity at some point? Yes, but I told you then goes to another place. Then we build day and then. So then we can create a hundred for my friends. And then you make friends. Excuse me. You left us in South Africa.

I didn't leave you, did. I didn't leave you. I know that I didn't leave you. Yes. Don't be like your friends. Yeah, we were your friends. Well, yeah. I didn't leave you. And I'm not honest. I didn't leave you guys. There was a white genocide in this country. I'm half white. I'm light. I'm half white. Guys, I had to choose. I wasn't sure if you guys are going to do with me. What I'm saying is, I'm. It's. Yeah. Perhaps what I'm saying is you have to go and create.

I love the sense a lot of job. Johannesburg's a lot of late making many New Yorkers and all of that. You can't just bank on the fact that only one city's. the one that's going to take all of the strain. Everybody's going to flock to the city. to develop other cities so that we can all be like that. I'm ready to vote. I'm also ready to vote. I'll be very lenient on, you know, don't be. No, I mean, I'm not your charity case. You see, I'll drive you to work.

Look, I know what you mean. Well, so, I adopted what? This guy wants to make money, and you see, this guy's doing things so transparent. You. Very well, I'll tell you. But I want to know how he's going to make money for my system. But after you vote. So you're voting for me? Yeah. I really can't believe this, guys. Thank you. What are you doing? This genuinely is awesome. I genuinely company I started. If my way of ruling the world is completely viable, trust me,

it's not about viability. I just can't believe Caesar is going to vote yes. because he wants to make business in a fictitious world. So I'm going to vote no. Why? The reason I'm voting no, I love I love the sentiment. I love the feeling behind your idea. By the way, because I agree with you. I think it's unfair. that some people spend a disproportionate amount of their income. on getting to work and getting back from work, because then they're not reaping the benefits of work.

the same way somebody who lives close to work does. So the idea behind is salary, bro. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I mean. The benefits of it. Like we both earn a thousand, but I spend 500. Getting two and back from work means you have more of your thousand than I do. Your sentiments. I'm completely full. as is often the case on if I ruled the world. It's not that we disagree with the sentiment. It's the the roll out, the roll out that worries us. I worry that if you create a hard rule of ten minutes from work.

very quickly, we reach capacity very quickly. People, as you said, get kicked out to go and have to build a new city. somewhere else. Somewhere else? Yeah. I think this creates an imbalance. Now, if I remove the ten minute rule, are you saying you're willing to amend it. and say, in your world, just no one would pay to go to work? Exactly. So if you have what you were saying is, if you all get paid $1,000, right? Yeah. No one gets no one pays to go to work. Yes.

In your world, yes. And it doesn't matter what type of work I can vote yes for that. Yeah, that's a yes. That's a clean yes okay. Thank you Disney. A better world than what you have. No no no no I vote I vote yes for this. Thank you. Oh well done. Congratulations. Thank you. My word. It's such a moment. It is. It really is for them. What do I win? No. You just. You won. Oh, what you've won is that you've won. There was just, like, tangible prize. Don't go anywhere because we got more.

What now? After this. Let's hear you win. Okay, there you go. All right. We're going to be taking a poo and something. Wow. This is how you see me? It's definitely something like, hey, your thoughts are this. while you take a shower. Because can can I just go back to your other. If I ruled the world before you, I don't think that's necessary because I already lost it.

I think this is a painful. Okay, okay, so if I ruled the world. Nobody would know who their child was. What were you? Hey, let me. Let me explain. Oh, yeah. So it so that if I ruled the world. Now listen listen, listen, listen. It's. Oh, geez. Wait wait wait wait.

What's the thinking? The wait wait wait. I'd rather be right. Wait. Oh, good. Guys, you know, I guess so. If I ruled the world. Yeah. No one would know who that child is. So what I mean by this is who would develop a system. where you could still have sex. Everyone would do the thing. Everyone would do the thing. In our world, what would happen is, when you are ready to be pregnant, you would come to like the ministry of pregnancy. And there's no qualifications, no nothing,

no money, no nothing would even come to you. It's not a transport thing you can apply online. if you don't have internet will help. Whatever. Don't worry about all those things. But you come to us. You say like we want to have a child, we approve you. There's no questions or anything. We approve you and then. we impregnate. the woman and then you have the child. But now the child can come from anywhere. So you could have a white baby. You could have Chinese baby. It doesn't matter in it, but it just comes. You're good at math. Yeah. Your baby just comes out, and then that's.

But nobody knows where the baby did or didn't come from. And there's no way to find out. In my world, there's no DNA testing. There's no none of that. Do you have parents in your world? No, no. Yeah. It's the same way we live the people. Just nobody else for the baby. Nobody knows who their kid is, is what I'm saying. Like nobody. Okay? Nobody. Not. What is it? That. What is it that you hoping to achieve with this one? I can see, obviously, the supply of kids would even be evenly distributed, which is fine. Okay, so there's a few things. A few things. Number one.

Number one, the most important thing is, I think. while. admirable in its, in its, you know, in its initial idea, I don't think bloodlines are as important as we think they are, I agree. Okay, when we were starting off farming and all of this, that's that's. really where you can trace a lot of, like the ideas of marriage that we have. Like now you can trace it back to that. People started farming. and then all of a sudden it became more important to build out. the people who were going to be farming with you and owning that farm with you.

So then you went, well, who are my offspring? Before that? A lot of tribes just were like, yeah, man, babies are babies. They're the babies of the tribe. It's everyone's baby now. You're like, no, but it's my farm. Who gets my farm? Who works on it? My children from my wife. Women were property. Children were property. Right. I think we've kept a lot of that. And I think what it's created is a world where people now think of what should. or shouldn't be done in the world based on who is or isn't connected.

or related to them. Right. now, I don't think people are evil. I just think this is a natural evolution of human beings. So white people will team up with white people. Black people might be forced to team up with black people. because they haven't really been given an option. So we don't know what black people will or won't do. You know, for the most we haven't really seen in the world. But what what I would love to see is a world. where it it's sort of disentangle. your parents and your bloodline from your opportunities or not in life.

And I think it could create a world where people are less tied to that. My kids could your kid could be like, anyway, in a weird way, you might even bump into someone and be like, yo, man, you look exactly like me. Okay, that's the weird part, but otherwise I agree with it. So that's that's like one part of it. And then the other part, the reason I say, like applications for being pregnant. is because because we'd be leading in science and stuff. I think a lot of people struggle to get pregnant and they fight.

And then there's a lot of people who don't struggle at all. They just meet each other on one random night, and now they have a kid. They didn't want to have the kid. Now the kid lives a life that it doesn't need to. So I'm trying. I'm trying to create a system. where the ones who want to get the ones who don't want, don't have, And then we just, like, mix it up and we spin things around, and it's random. Do you know what I mean? There was a tribe, like, that's somewhere in Africa, so I'm not going to say way, but. And it kind of took away the pressure around when a couple cannot conceive. Right. It's like, oh, you know, I'm barren or, you know, you're fertile and all of that.

Whereas it would be huts in this big village like you were say, yeah. And just every night, people would you, a man would go and then on the door. No, this is kind of occupied type of thing. Right. And we just all we have intercourse with each other because we're a tribe. And if people are pregnant, like you say, you give birth and the the baby belongs to the tribe. The baby doesn't belong to the parents. Yes. And I think I'm not sure maybe the Zulu culture, if you are having issues. to conceiving as a child, your brother must must step in.

Wait. Really. not. Must involve myself. No no no no no no. I mean, there's like something called dungeon, right? So. Which means to get in. Yeah. Yes. But essentially what it means is let's say, for example, I was married to my brother. Yeah, right. And my brother, either passed away. or wasn't able to have kids for whatever reason. Right? Then I can just come into my household. because the child would still be a family man.

Right? So that so there we go. So that's what I'm saying. I don't obviously not every family practices. No, no. But yeah, I think it's a great idea. I this why I'm saying I don't hate your idea because it's exactly that. We've just gotten to a place where people are very individualistic, like everything's about me. Yes. I mean, I'm an individual. It's my wife, my children, my cause, my husband. All of this. Yes. But back then, with this tribe. And I'll have to research it because I did read up about it. Is that what they use, that this child of the tribe.

So this child just belongs here. And what I also want is in my in my dream world, I'm sure there would be a few problems that might be introduced. I don't know what they'd be. Sizwe will tell me, but you've got your dream world would be like Japan but Korea. No no no no. What I'd love to do is. it would be because culture would still be a thing, obviously. But tying race. to outcomes I think would be greatly diminished. So there would be a a Chinese kid now. because it's like, yeah, you just cost you.

And the thing I like about culture in that way versus like race. is that you can opt into culture in a way that you can't with race. You can marry into a closer family. You can marry into a Zulu family. Yeah. You can. You get I'm saying you can adopt a culture in a way that you can't with race, because race is exclusionary. It's like, this is your race, buddy. This is how you have a all. This is you. Not only this is. We are saying that this is you forever. You know you are Indian. You are Chinese, you are black. You are this, you are this, you are this. But with culture, you'd be able to be like, oh no, no, no, I am, I am whatever.

I like what your idea. aims to achieve, but I worry that human nature. would just mean that more people would opt out of being parents. Oh, interesting. Say more so for the same reason that you mentioned. there's actually no other reason to be a parents except the selfish reason. Okay, there's no other reason. So people speak of legacy. People speak about. Oh, and I carry on my bloodline. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I want to see myself in this kid and don't have none of that in your world. And so what I think they'll eventually do is they'll just be like, hey, you guys can raise other people's kids if you want. I'd rather keep my money for myself, for my wife, and I'm out. Yeah, but they're going to die out at some point. And then the money goes somewhere. People die anyway. No, no, but think about it, I hear you. Yeah, but my response to them would be yes, you're. Then you're going to die out. And who are you going to leave the money to? Yeah. People don't care what happens now anyway, but that's fine, because that means that then they would die out as people.

and their money would end up coming to the children of everyone. But this is not the money issues about people not having kids. Don't you think it would average out though? Because in any society there are people who want there are people who don't want, but it's the law of averages dictates that I don't I don't believe average out. You don't think so? You don't think looking at human nature and just look at us. I use Japan for a reason. Right? Go. Because in Japan, the birth rate has been decreasing.

Yeah, steadily over the last ten years. Okay. Right. And that's not even because of anything, but just because the Japanese government. told them not to have as much sex, don't procreate as much. And then people went so far there. That's instead a point to the Japanese government, like, yeah, hold on, hold on, maybe start having more. But now, yes, the behavioral patterns have changed. Yeah. Completely. So but no, this is my I'm not saying I don't know. I can't say for certain, but I do believe human nature. would cause people not to want to raise other people's kids.

Now, my counterargument to you is, yes, Japan's population is declining. Africa's is increasing. So if we average it out over the whole world, Japan is going down. Africa is going up. Yeah, but Africans are raising their own kids now. Yeah, but everyone would be raising their own kids in my world is just no, no, no. They come from inside you. They your kids. Come on. You. Wow.

As the only person who has a child that you know of me, you don't know. No, no, no, no. He's got a secret family. You don't know. No, no. Me and I sleeping on one side for a reason. Yeah. Okay, okay. There is something about raising a child, and then they do something, or they say something. And that for that split moment, you just like. Oh, my word, that is so me. Oh, that is all your dad, right? And I don't think you'd be able to have that. And that little 1% of that that happens makes the other 99%.

of parenting worth it, because parenting isn't fun. I'm glad you said that. For parenting. Parenting is just not fun. It's it's a lot of stress. It's a it's a lot of anxiety. And everybody who's a parent is acting like they're okay, but we're not okay. Thank you. I thank you for thank you for this. This is a truthful moment. Everyone is is it is it beautiful? Yes. That one. It's almost like training for the comrades or training for marathons. Yeah, or training. for whatever it is, is that you're going to train for years and years.

And then that moment of glory. when you get that Olympic medal that's 30s on the podium. Your flag's up. Well done. Off you go, and you go and train for the rest of the time. It's torture. Yeah, for the rest of the time, it's absolute torture. It's absolute torture. And under your rule in your world, you taking away the 1% that makes the rest of it worth it. Okay, I hear you, but you wouldn't. know the 1% in my world because nobody. Yeah, you might. You don't know. Because, remember, it's a lot of good. I ask you, what's the incentive to have a child in your world?

People want children all the time. For what? They just eat your money. They, in your case. So for real, we started off by saying yes, only selfish reasons. You have kids? Yes. But what I'm saying, you've taken away the selfish reason. So you people only have kids for selfless reasons? Yeah, people. There are people all over the world right now. Yeah. Banging down the doors of clinics trying to get children. Yes. Right. This is throughout time people have tried to get children. People want children. Yes.

So the reason I think people would still want children is because to. your point, children are terrible, but they're meaningful. You know what I mean? So this. No, no, no. So listen, we've had the experience with you. You have given us things like before you had your son. I can unequivocally say. I had zero interest in raising a young human being. These things were terrible, and there was no need for them to be in my life. Then you made one. I was introduced to him.

We've spent time with him. Then I was like, wow, what a beautiful journey watching him evolve your entire life. I like his the 1%. Yeah, but no, no, no, I get that. But my point is still, because I've seen that I'm now more amenable to it. You get what I'm saying? So I'm saying people will still want to have kids, because having children and raising children brings so much. meaning and purpose to life that people would still want to do it. Okay. So look at it as it is now. And I think and I think maybe you can tell me if I'm wrong.

because I've never been pregnant, nor do I ever plan to be the experience of it. For many women, I've been told, is some have a terrible one, but others will tell you it's the most empowering. and beautiful and the feeling and the life inside of you. And so, I don't know, I think some women would be like, I do like being pregnant. I love being pregnant. There you go, I really so in my little my pregnant my pregnancy was easy. That's another thing. But I like to think you can eat what you want to know and judge you. And yeah, you see, and you can skip the lines. The statement is incomplete. Why would she like being pregnant?

If you're going to snatch the baby away from me off? No no no no no no, I never asked you to go. No, no, I'm not doing it that way. And I'm not taking anyone's babies away. I'll never do that to people. What do you mean? Nothing. She's not going to get to raise the baby. No, no. You are. I mean, raise your baby. What he's saying is that when it's time to get pregnant, you go to. Yes, you come to us, and then we impregnate. We impregnate? Not necessarily your husband or your partner's. Yes, yes. No, but not not anonymous sperm bank. It is. No. Hey, I would know what that is. Don't undermine my.

This is terrible branding. It's a sperm bank. Hey, hey. It's not. It's not a sperm bank because the embryos are also coming from somewhere. The guys have an option. I'm just opting in as an oven. I had no so she's raising her kid. I'm raising a Randall. No, wait, wait. No, no. The embryo. So all I'm being uses the oven. But I had no say in what went into the recipe. No, guys. Okay, so I'm going to. You don't. Whoever shouted that shit from the peanut gallery? Yeah. We were doing so well.

Yeah, I, I know we were branding. And this is why branding. This is why branding up to. This is why branding is so important. So I branding is so important. So. Okay. In my world, we will we'll make it. It's really going to be a beautiful experience. So exactly. So you will come to the Ministry of insemination. We can call it the Ministry of Life. Actually I don't like it called. No. But the ministry of Life. You will come there and we will be part of celebrating. this thing that you wish to achieve, which is creating life.

And it'll be like a honeymoon, you know, we'll give you, you know, champagne and caviar, everything that you want. You spend a wonderful night together on that night. You know what I mean? We're going to set the scene, create the vibe. Everyone in the world is getting caviar. Yeah. Forget that caviar you get. Wait, wait. She's on. She's listening right now. I'll handle you afterwards. Let me do one at a time here. So I need you. Come there. Everyone gets champagne. Everyone gets caviar. Luther Vandross is playing Babyface.

Babyface is playing. Everyone's enjoying themselves. Whatever you want that night to be. We will make it happen. And remember, the ministry has departments all over the world. So with close to you ten minutes away. So you come there, you enjoy yourself. And then on that night, we inseminate you, right? It's very seamless process. Not going to be like IVF is now. We've worked on the technology but we inseminate you in that process okay. And so there was the devil's advocate you know.

And so what happens is now in that night you have been inseminated. You are now going to be pregnant. And then you're going to go off and you and your partner. or husband or friend or whoever you chose to do this with, you've done that night. So this baby's not 50% anyone's, it's 50% you. It's you and your partner the same way. And another child is no, no, no, it can't be the partner. What do you mean? Because the son came out anyway. Oh, yeah. The sperm and this 50%. Who? The sperm. No firm. I'm just carrying it. And embryos, not mine, come from anyway.

So you might bump into your own genes in the world. You never know. Yeah, bro. What I'm saying, though, is you will now walk away pregnant. And when your child is born and they are your child, I'm saying your child, they not. I know what you just told me about that child. You just told me your brother can come and inseminate you. That's your child. That's family. That's. Yeah. We've got the same genes for your family. But in my world, do you understand that over time, genetically, we will all have the same genes, but so diverse.

I have a 1 in 1,000,000,000 chance and I'm going to run into my child. It's not 1 in 8,000,000,000, actually. Because of your family? No, no, no. But also think of how your bloodline, if you traced your family. tree as far back, you'd find that it's not 1 in 8,000,000,000. Okay, one, the little bit of incest. It could be more. It's way more. So it's not. I have less chance of right. Not way, way way way way higher, way higher. Oh okay. Way higher. You know. But also, do you want to spend your life searching for your child?

What is it? But guys, this is your child. No, no, I'm a very I'm out of this. Not so what's your concern here? Everything. What is your life? Is. it taking. everything away that makes parenting worth it? Now we just all. Okay? Okay, well, I'm going to throw something that you conveyor belt. I'm going to throw something at you. And I'm like, stop saying no for a second. Yeah, just be open for a second. Have you heard stories.

of families. who left the hospital with the wrong baby? Yes. Raise that baby. Yes. Love that baby. Yes. There was nothing wrong. Yes. And then found out when there was, like, an organ transplant or something. that involved deep blood work, that they weren't related to their own child. Yes. This is the first moment when families went wait, and then they traced it back and they're like, are in the hospital. The babies were switched at birth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you want all families to be like that?

Wait. And then. he's basically saying the deck of cards and he's shuffling. Shuffling these every day. I'm jumping. Yes, it is dealing. Doesn't know what I'm saying is those families will tell you. there was not one moment where they went, this is not our child. They had the same experience of raising them, loving them, seeing them grow, feeling them. All of they believed that the child is this because. the sense of protection you feel for a child, for a baby, is because there is a familiarity between you and this baby.

This is why mothers, some of you are lying when you say this, when they're like, oh, they placed the baby on my chest. And you know, I fell in love immediately because, you know, it was just this, the greatest love of even known. What you're feeling is. familiar. It's like I've seen this person before, and and then you have a feeling of, this is me. I can, like, I can see me here. I can see my husband. You're my baby daddy. Whoever it is, it's. the sense of familiarity that you have not imprint of. Yes.

So now, if I know that that's not my child or you just like, oh, I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. And also, see, I already alluded to this, right? Part of the joys of parenthood is the things that you don't see. your child, but that they inherently just know. Then you just like, oh man, okay, this is amazing. Can I tell you something here? This is something that people take for granted. A lot of that is confirmation bias. So we take for granted that a lot of the behaviors.

that children get from parents are learned there in the environment with you. And we don't think we're teaching, but we are. Children laugh like their parents, not because they inherited the laugh necessarily, but because the laugh gets passed. You can even be like, oh, you did the exact same thing as my grandfather. Yes, but things are passed down and kids are constantly without knowing. and decoding what they take and how they take it. I'm going to learn behavior. Yeah. This genetic stuff. Yes, I understand, but I'm saying we take for granted. how much of what we recognize isn't genetic. We are seeing what we want to see, just like,

okay, let me. I'll even throw at you. I've been in the streets with friends of mine who I act like. And then people go, oh, you guys are related and like no, they're like, no, you guys are related. Then the last not the same thing. I don't know what things you can teach. Yes. But I'm saying how would you ever look at your dad's foods. And you're like, dude, I've got the exact same foods, but I'm saying you will find food to grow that thing. You will find that because there's everything else of me. that's not like my dad. So you find the thing that is the same. No, but if I find out tomorrow 1% I was telling you about.

Yes, but if I found out tomorrow, that's. when I will actually brothers, I'll be like, oh, that explains why we both like blah blah blah. Now I would find all the things. Do you know what I mean? It's like when people fall in love, all of a sudden they every look alike. Have you seen star signs? People get star signs and all of a sudden they're like, that explains it. I wondered why I got fired. Mercury wasn't retrograde. All right, guys, they just gave you an answer. So I'm saying a lot of what people do is giving themselves an answer. as to why the child is or isn't like that, which is fine.

But in your world, we wouldn't even have the luxury of lying to ourselves like that. I'm out the 1%. You negating the 1% is. That is the 1% magic that children bring. That is like, oh my word, your child is the final nail in the coffin. Do you know how many dads in the world. are raising a son or daughter that is not theirs? And they have this experience fully, but they know they live. because they don't believe that these are not their kids. Hey man, amend your rule to I'm okay. I'm your open to amendments.

Go go go. If you amend your rule to what I was saying about that, you know, similar to the African villages where the father is here, the mother is here, and we are all just raising. So once again, we are a city of, say, 8 million. people and all of us, I'm mixing about that. Fine. I can make money in your wisdom. I can make money. You will. Come on set. Do you see what I'm saying? If you. I hear you. But my my, Rohit, my my issue is still that now.

it will become a little too insular for my liking. You already hear my business idea. Let's see. It is this idea. I would be the guy smuggling like real kids like you. You be like yo, you and you. Once you real baby, come visit me for nine months, you'll walk out with the real babies. That's my business, guys. Be moving with real ones, selling authentic babies. I mean, needless to say, there would be a crack down of this. of this black market here that run by who?

But I wouldn't to be black market. Right. Asian Indian market. up. I'm willing to accept your votes. Will you amend your rule though? Unfortunately not that one I can't amend. I'm voting guys, is that I can't? I'm sorry. I mean, it was like you really had me. I know, but I can't amend it because it wouldn't fulfill. what I'm trying to do, so I you meant well. But like, I nearly now, I'm not voting for this, so.

Yo, yo yo, do you have cycles, bro? Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. We jokers move your on every. Why would my would have cycles. Come on the trauma in your world. Why would there be trauma. This is trauma. But also why would I seize this world. With the chaos comes every five years. Yours is just a carnival uninterrupted. Why chaos? Chaos? Why is the cap here? Let me tell you why. Right now the world is messed up. Mostly because of absent fathers. Your whole world is absent. Fathers, bro.

No no no no. Why is it absent fathers? My world is chosen. There is a in fact. In fact, I will. In fact, in my world, it's even better. Yeah, because nobody is being a dad by mistake. Think about it. So you're not outing pregnant anyone? Not allowed. You can't in my womb. Possibly. So. Okay. Any time I didn't want, I didn't want to reveal the secrets. because we sterilize patented technology is not sterilization. So we have a patented technology that we use when children are born. You see this waiting technology? We have a technology. When children are born,

we have a way to turn off your reproduction. so that like when you're living, you're living the same way. Like people get sick to me and then they reverse. Yeah, yeah. But we do that. Like from the time you're born, it's done. So you don't even have to worry about it. And then when you're ready to have kids come, I come in, we do a thing and we, like, make it happen. And then you shoot into something, and then that can then get distributed. across the world. Exactly. So my counter to you is actually in my world, there would be fewer absentee fathers, so there would be less chaos, because now. the men who are choosing to be fathers are choosing.

the women are choosing to be mothers would be choosing. And I would rather be in a world where people who want kids. have more kids because they want them, and the people who don't have fewer kids. because they don't want them. And I think that would still average out because people, it's entropy. It always happens. No. The idea the idea is a noble one, so I don't so I think it would be fewer. I love that you said absentee fathers. In my world there would be fewer absentee fathers. There have, you know, absentee fathers because yeah, but you never know. People get divorced and stuff. You can't force things. I'm not gonna know. Oh, really? You can't force things? No, no, no.

One thing at a time. If I rule the world, you do one thing at a time. I know I can't do everything at once. Then it's not a fun game. I'm really just one thing. You said no long ago, bruh. Yeah, you said no. When I started the sentence you were trying to convince me of. Like, if I didn't have the experience of raising my son and the person. that he isn't seeing myself so much in him, you know, I would have. I'm gonna throw one thing at you. Go for it. I'm a cop for the originals, baby. Wait.

Selling originals? You can't be a corporation doing crime. This guy's going to be a corporation doing crime. No. No. Billionaire. So what if this is a genuine question? Theoretical? What if tomorrow you found out that somehow. I like it wasn't of you? Do you think it would take away all those 1%? It wouldn't. But still be disappointed. Wouldn't? But it would. Chris and the rest of the 1% for the rest of our lives. And he's only ten. That's a long time to be questioning. Okay.

Even him, I would definitely like to. Okay. Like I'm with you. This is a completely emotional decision where I'm just like, you know, I'm with you. Yeah. So you so you you mean. Well, though, like I said, yours is a no. And also because I see how much I can love my friends kids and like my sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's why. I'm not saying that I am void of loving somebody who did wasn't built by me. Yeah, I'm not void of that. But I'm selfishly want and I appreciate that. Selfishly, I'm going to say no. Okay. What's your no.

Based on everything. This is a horrible idea. It means well. But this is never just a no. It's not what you're saying. No. For you. Why the only reason to have a kid, selfish reasons. Now people can go left, rides forward and back and try to explain to you. that it's for something else. There's no other reason except that selfish reasons. Okay? And once you ask enough people is to be selfless with the most, I guess, the biggest sacrifice, because children are also a sacrifice and a burden. Everyday I use these words, I use these words.

and I know parents want to be like children. I am a blessing. They are. But a blessing can also be a burden. Okay. So double no. Yeah, well, I'm used to it, that I can see why at the end of it, you know, why. Go swing for the fences, guys. That's why. Great ideas don't don't. Do you? Do you remember when the iPhone first came out, what people said who would buy a phone without a clipboard? That's what people said. What a stupid idea. Me. Guys, I'm here to invent iPhones.

I want you to come with small, small things, but, But, I lost once again. Oh, boy. Well, congratulations on, your first time at bats, and you've won. So thank you very much for joining once again, if I will. The world. What now with Trevor Noah is produced. by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Thomas Yamin and Jody Avirgan.

Our senior producer is Jess Hackel. Clare Slaughter is our producer. Music mixing and mastering by Hannis Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?