"Guptas In Jacob Zuma's Ear The Whole Time" - Trevor Noah - (There's A Gupta On My Stoep)

You know the worst thing about the Guptas for me, other than the blatant corruption. and the state capture. would have to be the fact. that I felt betrayed. by my presidents. I'll tell you why I felt betrayed. because I'm not naive enough to believe. that there will ever be no corruption in a society. All right and as South Africans you also have to acknowledge. that corruption and government go hand in hand, I know that seems like a pessimistic view. but it's true all over the world.

Don't be fooled by first-world countries, where they go like they don't have corruption. I don't care if it's Australia, I don't care if it's Canada, there's corruption. They've just found ways to legalize it. They've found ways to obscure, there's corruption, the difference is though, we need to get good at functional corruption. Our corruption is extreme guys. We get a tender for 10 bridges we build nothing. No guys. Build nine, steal one. At least have some progress.

Now there's no bridge. "My man, what happened to the bridge?". "It was supposed to be there, just imagine. Just imagine it was there.". "What are you talking about?". "No, it's the thought that counts, don't worry.". You're stealing from yourselves. when you're being that corrupt man. We've gotta to work to be better, that's what broke my heart. Cause I don't know how much of it is true or not. What I do know is. if Jacob Zuma was allowing the Guptas to control our country.

and choose our ministers, then it wasn't my president being corrupt to me, it was the Guptas telling him what to do. It's like Julius said, "The Guptas were in his ear all along. They were inside his ear all along.". And you know the way Julius sounded, it sounded amazing. cause like I get the phrase when they go, "They were in his ear,". but he said, "They were inside his ear.". It sounded like the Guptas were actually. inside Jacob Zuma's ear. which actually would have made sense.

when you think about it. What if they were inside his ear the entire time? How do we know. that every single time Jacob Zuma was speaking. to us as a nation, he was actually telling us. what the Guptas were saying to him. Like he had one of those earpieces. that they have. on those hidden camera shows you know. Like he was there in parliament, outside parliament, there was a van. with a Gupta sitting inside it. "Hello, Jacob.

Jacob? Jacob? I've activated your earpiece. You're going to repeat everything that I tell you, okay? Jacob, Jacob? Can you hear me Jacob? Can you hear me?". "Roger, roger, roger.". "No, no, it's Atul. This is Atul here, Jacob.". "I know who it is guys. I've got it. I know who it is.". "Okay let's just make sure levels are all correct Jacob.

One, two, one, two, one two.". "Okay what do you want to do?". "No, no, one, two like three. One, two like three. One, two like three.". "Oh okay, okay. I've got you guys. So I must just repeat everything that you say?". "Yes, you're going to repeat everything Jacob.". "Okay this, it's going to be very complicated. I, trying to listen to you while also speaking.". "We understand Jacob. but we, you know we've already made a plan you and us.

so repeat everything that I say okay?". "Okay, I will repeat everything.". And that's probably why things went wrong. because I don't know if you've ever tried. to listen to someone while talking to someone else. Your mind jams. Yeah, that's why Jacob Zuma could never deliver a speech. It's not that he couldn't read, he couldn't listen. He couldn't listen and speak at the same time. I used to watch him and be like, "What's going on Jacob? Your YouTube is buffering. What's happening here? This is why data must fall.".

But it turns out he was just listening the entire time. There he was in parliament, the praise singer said his name as he came, (singing in foreign language). Jacob Zuma came out to the podium. His earpiece was ready. "Good evening everybody.". "Good evening.

everybody.". "Proud South Africans,". "Proud South Africans,". "and Indians especially.". "and Indians, especially.". "We're doing well in this country.". "We're doing well in this country.". "And also don't listen to the new--". "Don't listen to, "the newspaper.". "the newspapers.". "Even though what they say," "Even though what they say, "is right," "is right,".

"sometimes." "sometimes.". "Also, there is no problem with the ANC.". "Also, there is no problems. with the ANC.". "The membership is growing." "Membership is growing.". "We currently have 939 million, 360 thousand--". "939 thousand,". "no, no, 39 million, 39,". "39 million," "63,".

"and 62,". "No, no 39, 390 million, 600,". "390,". "No, I said nine hundred and--. "900 million,". "62,000, sixty,". "62,000,". "No, Jacob you're missing the point.". "Point.". "Hundred,". "Million." "Million.". "No Jacob, Jacob, come on man, listen properly.". "Listen properly.".

"Listen, listen properly. Listen properly.". "No, Jacob, listen, listen." "Listen, listen properly.". "900 million." "900 million.". "Gimme a pen there, gimme a pen there.". "No, Jacob, Jacob, 100 million, 39, 39.". "39 million,". "63 thous--". "63,000.". (coughs). "What are you doing? Jacob, no man, that was just a tickle and a cough.".

hehe hehe... hehe hehe. "Okay, this is going wrong Jacob. Abort, abort Jacob, abort.". "I bought.".

They were in his ear the entire time.