For Kids or Anyone Who’s Ever Been a Kid | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

Who do you think cries more kids or adults? Adults. Let's have a vote. Okay. Can you say adult adults? Charlie. Kids. Kids. Babies. Babies. Juniper. For the contrarian. Okay. Throwing in baby Mateo. it would have to be both, because, like, parents cry when somebody dies. Yeah, and then kids cry when they lose something. Okay.

Okay. I see. shit. Be babies. Fake damn babies. We started off going after adults. Mostly like babies. Your mom said you couldn't say what and any. of them. Damn. that. damn, Damn. damn. And okay, I won't say it either, then. Yeah. Yeah. So I. When I'm saying it, I'm talking about some, the thing they built in a river to stop water from going somewhere.

That's a dam. That's a dam. This is what now. with Trevor Noah. And so for today's episode, I wanted to have a conversation. with you about children, but not like children through the lens of an expert. and not children through the lens of an adult. No, this is one of the this is a topic that I love.

because I don't think anybody is truly an expert in it, even though some people say they are all right. And it's like kids, parents and how we perceive their reality. And the reason I say nobody is really an expert is because. people often talk about parenting. I mean, you know this better than anyone as a parent, Christiana. Like, everyone's like, this is a good parent is how you should parent. This is what you should parent, parent, parent, parent, parent. But I always think to myself, we don't have to think about.

like kid, like kid up. Does that make sense? Being a kid is really weird because in your world, you have a life, you have priorities, You have, like, your own, like, schedule, even. And then. there's this other human being who just happens to be bigger than you, who basically tells you that your shit is nothing. Have you, like, my favorite thing? Have you ever seen, like, a little small child doing something with, like, a box?

Like, just like a box, A cardboard box. And they're folding it, then they unfold it, then they squash it, then the UN squash it, and they move it around and they put things in it. Then they take things out of it. Then they drag it around the room. Then and then you come. You're like, Yeah, we've got to go, you know, we've got to go somewhere. And the kid is like, I'm working. Have you ever seen the kid's face? Yeah. The kid always has a look like, Yo, I'm in the middle. And it's funny how I always think myself. It's funny how as as adults, we think the kid's doing nothing. Yeah, but I often think, what if we were in, like, the office typing up emails?

Dear sirs and M&Ms. To whom it may concern, please revert a separate. Imagine if while you were doing that, a giant came into your office and. then like lifted you up from your chair and was just like, We're time to go. And you'd be like, So are. you like, I've got to do when they look no, don't to go. And that's how it must feel for them. Yeah, definitely. You don't know, but it's time to go. Yeah. You see, I see your mum go.

When do you think you became a mum? Like. Like became a mum. Mom. I was always someone's mother. I have three little sisters. No, but there's like a different shift. I'm sure there is. I've because. Okay. Because I know you remember that. Yeah. I knew you before you were mum. Okay? You've always been caring, responsible, all of that stuff. And I want to know when you became a mum. definitely. When I took O.B. home from the hospital. And I exclusively, exclusively breastfed, as you all know,

because I always talk about policy. And then I was like, I'm this child's life source. I was like. Like his nutrition depends on me. And that was like, no one has ever depended on me to be fed. It was just so stressful. But I just remember just waking up and I'm like, I need to feed him because he. He'd like to sleep. He's never been a big eater. Yeah, Yeah. And that was I was just like. I mean, I was thinking just more about nourishing his body.

than, like, his spirit was very primordial. I felt like a woman in a cave, you know? I mean, yeah. And that. That was like the shift. And now my headspace is so much of my kids all the time. I've. You know what I never considered, though, in a difference between men and women, yet like, in a weird way, with a. man, obviously your presence is still important. But I'm saying to you, you are actually the irreplaceable part of your child's.

Yeah. Yeah. Like if I had a, like, a bad. cheeseburger, it doesn't affect me. I mean, it's a it's a it's like if you if you start eating poorly, that affects your child in a way. It's like, yeah, it's like as a dad, as long as crack you could do crack. You can't crack. my God. As long as you blow the crack, smoke out the window, the child may not even know they could have a fully.

Yeah, a fully normal. because how many people think that their dad is like normal, Jeremy? Because you think everything is normal. Because your frame of reference for. everything is so small and it gets wider as you get older. But like, my dad would get excited, do like a dad thing, like a milestone thing, because I think sometimes as men, that's. the only time that we're like, yes, I'm important right now. Right. Right now is when I'm dad and like and we need this moment. And so I went up to my dad and my tooth was loose and he pops up.

He's like sorts. I hops up. and he goes and he leaves the room, runs out of room, grabs some string, right. And then grabs some string and ties one side of the string. in my tooth and ties one side, the string my door. But he's not talking to me. So he's not he's not leaving. And he's like, be still. And then grunts and door and everything. And then he looks at me and he nods as if we've had a conversation. This man nods at me like, And it's tired, right? So the noise slams the door, but he didn't measure.

So it's just too much string. So we just watch the door slam. and I was like, a string hanging out of my mouth and like, so. So I think he was like, Ah, oof! Okay, let me. And then he went to the bathroom because then he knew he could surprise me. now, because now I know what, that they didn't know what the thing was. I didn't know what the thing. was supposed to be, but I put it together when he was like, Dad.

So that he's like, I watch the water bath. And then he helped me get my tooth out. But I was just like, in my mind, my dad has a plan. and he knows what he's doing and that he does it. And then I, I just trust it and that he slams the door. And I'm like, maybe he doesn't have plans. Like, maybe that's one of the weirdest moments, I think, for a child. Yeah. Is when you for the first time. think that your parent doesn't have their shit together. It's the falling out. The way you figure that out as a child. definitely.

my God. That's very early. That's that. You all did as well. Yeah, I think that means you didn't know. I didn't I? I saw my parents as people very late in my life. I think I really deify them. I was like, they're so wonderful. They weren't perfect parents. Yeah, they were always like mum and dad. And then as I came into adulthood, I was like, that people and maybe therapy wouldn't be a bad way to. How old do you think you were when you first were like, these are people who make mistakes and things.

They just always had it together. No, but I'm saying, How old do you think you were? Were you all teens? Were you in your. it was in my early twenties. In your twenties, you're ready to say something. I remember the not even the first time. This is one of the many times I was driving with my mum. This wasn't her fault, by the way, But still I was driving with my mom and. we're in the car. We're coming back from a church service late at night and with almost home like. 10 minutes from the house. But it's like been an hour drive.

and I'll never forget I can, like, close my eyes and imagine the road. You know, it's a long, dark road and there's one traffic light. So we're crossing over, right? So normally you'd wait for oncoming traffic, but it's like midnight. There's there's nothing. We see a car in the distance. We're approaching the intersection. We see a car in the distance. I'm looking out the passenger window of the car. I see the other car. It has its indicator on its blinker. So it's going to turn into the slip road so it won't come to us.

Essentially, it means it's going to go in the direction we're also going to go. Right. But I see that it's coming straight. My mum clearly is like looking at the blinker. I see it's coming straight. She's looking at the blinker. I see it's coming straight and I'm sitting there in the passenger seat. and I was like, I think that was coming straight for us. And I just sat there quietly and I was like, I don't think she sees it. And then I sat there and then I literally just sat there. and I braced myself and the car came straight and we turned.

and then it just wham, took off the whole front of our car. And like, in an accident, you don't really know what's happened. Like, your car's spinning around and, you know, it's a whole thing. And then we came to a stop and she checks on me and we're fine. Really. We were really lucky. And then when when we were all, like, calm and everything, I said to my mum was like, I saw that. And she's like, You saw what it was like. I saw that car was going to hit us. And she said, Why? She's like, Why didn't you say anything? I was like, Because you know how to drive. I don't know how to drive.

And she's like, But you know how to see. You know how to see, my God, no, to see. She's like, You must say something. And I was like, okay. But that was like the final one because this was now just in driving territory. Yeah, I had seen my mum forget things. I had seen my mom like so from I would say from like the age of. maybe like five or six, I was like, okay, this is a human being who's in charge, but they don't always like have that, like they don't have the superpower thing. I even saw with teachers. I remember when I was little, teachers were, okay, you know, yeah.

Because I thought I was like, I'm smarter than. I. And that's probably why they didn't like me. But I was like, no, I'm, I'm, you know, more stuff just because you're older. But I was like, I have more brain power. I figured that out. I think my parents were just very competent, so they did disappoint me. Yes. Yeah. But they were just very they were very competent. But then, you know, when you look at your childhood in retrospect, you have those moments. You're like, maybe that wasn't the best decision. Yeah, I was talking to Esther Perel about this the one day we're talking about.

like traumas and childhoods and, you know, the psychology. And it's really amazing how no matter how you raise your kid, there will always be the lack. that was created. And as a kid, there will always be. So there are some people who are in therapy. because their parents gave them too much freedom. They could do whatever they wanted and so they never felt protected or. they never felt like there was structure they never felt. But then there are some people in therapy because they like my parents, like.

they gave me a rigid schedule and I couldn't do what I wanted. and I had to be home at a certain time. And it made me wonder. I was like, Is there a single kid out there who's just like, Yeah, this is going well, and if your kid thinks it's going well, are you still a good parent? I don't know. I feel like it's a it's so much like gambling. It's like like. you have the kid and you are taking a gamble that you can raise a good person. So I'm not a killer. Right? Right. And then you're playing craps, So you just throw the dice down.

and the dice are going to bounce and they're going to bounce. They're going to bounce. And you could call. some of the bouncing trauma, but the bounce is also how you get your. you get them, you get the numbers. And then when you look at the thing, that's when everybody's like, good parent or like, crap, crap. But sometimes I'm like, you know, have you ever met some parents? Because, you know, like, I think the kid is the kid like you. just, you this thing arrives in your life and they are the way they are.

born This way, as Lady Gaga says, this blows me. I don't mean it. Like I hear every parent say, This is it the hard way. I don't know. No, no, you're right. Yeah, they just. And you're like, you just like this. Like, I can try and pull you away from it. And this is good in the bad. Like their strengths and weaknesses. Yeah, just stuff encoded in you and like, so you have that element of that. And there's some parents who like actually do an amazing job, but the kid just turns out badly.

And then there's people. who don't do that much and the kid turns out guns are pretty amazing. Pretty well. And so I don't get I think you can, like, love them, give them a good education, like make sure there's no hunger. But then after that, you just. Yeah, but I'm saying, okay, so this is fascinating because you're a parent. We're speaking as former kids, which I that's. I think childhood is the most important experience. Like when I don't just take advice from parents. Yes. Because everyone has had the experience of being a child. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I think that it's valuable if I hate parents are like, I,

I only care about you can't tell me anything. You're not a mom. So I'm like, So you don't think someone having once being a child is valuable? That's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, this is a different episode. Every now and again. I like to get up to some mischief in the world. Christiane always accuses me of doing something, and in this case, yes, I was doing something. I wrote a children's book. It's something I've always wanted to do. because I love children's books and I loved them. And I still read them, by the way. I think they're like the best books.

And the other ones have too many words and too few pictures. I wrote a children's book and I thought, for this episode, let's talk about kids, but not just talk about them. Let's talk to them. So I sat down with a group of kids who are experts at being children. By the way, I don't know if people know this. They're the real experts of being children. We're going to continue this conversation. right after this short break.

Spanish, what are we starting the podcast right now? When you see my daddy. in my squad, just like you coming in, I was just asking you questions I didn't even. know. Actually, she's moving all of us moving. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome, Nola Welcome. Eden Welcome. Matteo Welcome. Juniper Welcome, Charlie and welcome. Cana Let's let's start with with you.

Eden. How, how long have you been a child For. seven, seven years. Wow. That's like a real professional. How long do you plan to be like a child? Do you have like, a long term goal of 100 years? I like that. I like that. So, like, so I started writing this kid's book. My first instinct was talk to you like adults and talk to experts about it, because, like, the book is really about like. how a child sees their relationship with their parents and vice versa.

and the internal monologues they have, because that's what I had as a kid, and I think every child does. But then I was like, No, I'm just going to talk to kids. Like I got a full panel of children to have conversations with. And can I tell you, these little things are pretty genius. They came in with some insights. They came in with some ideas. And Josh and Christina, I know you got to watch us hanging out together. And I was shocked at how much like information we don't give children.

Does this make sense? Yeah. Like, you'll be shocked at how many kids are sort of just, like, left in the dark. Yeah, about everything. So I talk to kids, I go, Hey, do you know what your parents do for a living? And they're like, What does a living mean? Actually, let me let's talk about jobs. Let's talk about jobs. So I would love to know. Wait, wait, let's let so let's go down the line. So, Charlie, do you know what's happening here? No, no, I'm just kidding. Glad that she being Google. No, you just get just got hot. And then you were like, all right, so wait, wait, no, let's pay attention.

I want to know about jobs. So we're going to go down the line. So. So let's go. No. Nola, do you. know do you know what parents do at jobs? Do you know what adults do? What's this what we're doing now? Yeah. So you think they, like, hang out on a couch? Yeah. And then talk about life? Yeah. okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Ian, what do you think? People do a job and this saying sorry. Just because my mom is a scientist, Like, what does she think she teaches?

It's so she stands at the front of the classroom. so you guys know teachers? So you know what? She does? Yeah. Yeah. okay. Mateo, what do you think adults do at their jobs? I know my dad. You know, like people that are on the computers at the airport. Yeah. Yeah, that's what my dad does. dope. He's one of those guys. I've seen those people at airports. You would see, like, the kids. Like, for instance, if I say, like, what do your parents do for a living? The majority of them put their fingers up to their faces.

and then mimed typing, but like, depressed type thing. Okay, So let me ask you, what. do you think adults do at work, I'm. What is that doing? Boring stuff and typing on the chicken coffee. Typing like. Yeah, none of them were like, smiling and being like, my. You know what I mean? It's like everyone had like, yeah, You know, it's like, you would think like their parents. were like, in a chicken coop for humans pecking away at keys reference.

Yeah, it really was like, that's what. And I was like, Wow. Like, I don't know, like, just like when you were a kid, what did you think of your parents that you now like? Because we get to an age. where it starts to sort of consolidate like this information. Yeah. What did you think of your parents? Like you were like, I've met your mom, but like what? Like what did you think of your mom? I mean, I, I it's tough because I. the things I thought about my mom when I was little, I still think about my mom in in a in a really sincere way.

Like, I see how. she isn't always the most patient in life, but she's very patient with people and she's very loving and generous. And so so then I'm I look at my mom as this it when I was a kid, this infallible version of generosity and like understanding. And now as an adult, I look at her. as this very fallible version of generosity and understanding. So it's like none of the I feel like I saw my mom for who she was.

and all the qualities that she possesses, but I just didn't have. the right interpretation of them because I didn't have enough. like world experienced understand what was happening. So like, I remember there was somebody. my mom gave someone a ride one time or something like that. and all I could think in. my head was like, Wow, is this We are passing on our car. because we did. And then. because you tell me not to talk to strangers. and then you picked the weirdest stranger off the street.

Yeah. To give a ride somewhere and you know, and with and. is still to this day my mom is very like be careful when you go here. Watch your stuff, all the stuff like that. But then there will be these moments that are just these like, I don't know, I guess moments of inspiration where that thing. supersedes almost every lesson that I'm taught to a certain degree. You know, I don't think anyone will dispute that being a parent is a hard job. But it's weird that.

if something is a hard job, wouldn't it mean that, like, most people wouldn't be good at it? Yeah. so bending. But then we see the defensiveness of parents or people around parents or what? My parenting or what you tell my child, what that means about me, that as a stranger reprimand my child. And so then we we end up in this place that I think we've been in for a while, where your entire childhood is the extent. of your of your parents awareness and experiences. Yeah. And if no one else is allowed in because supposed to take a village,

village isn't welcome. If all of a sudden the villages. don't tell my child about literally when your child's wrong to. I've watched it in stores where kids tearing something up. and somebody that works at the store is like, Hey, hey, put that down. It's like, No, talk to me. Don't talk to my child. It's like, Well, you don't have the presence of mind. to tell your child to stop. So that was a while. And I just go to the source. Yeah. And so I think that that that is what's shaping. all of my I'm like almost recontextualizing a lot of what.

growing up was because I was, I was from a family and I had a mom. that would let another adult tell me what I was doing wrong. Yeah. I mean, because my mom would let's say there's some random lady. and like, just some old woman at the mall is like, Hey, don't run with your shoes on time, blah, blah, blah. She would look at that woman, say, Thank you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, as opposed to, like, I got this. You know, I mean, and I think that I got this is like,

it's a small thing, but I think it's messing a lot of people up. I think going from being like community driven. because I remember I had a big community growing up. and I was actually thinking about it today before I was coming here. Like they used to be these grandmas in church that would look after me. Sister Barbara, sister Kathy, Mommy IGA like they would. These women looked after me when I was a kid, me and my sisters. So I was surrounded by like aunties and uncles who actually. weren't genetically related to me, who could also, like, discipline me. Yes, but felt they had a stake in my life.

And my son has less of that for different reasons, like my husband's family is in New York. A lot of my family's in London, We live in L.A. But this isn't just specific to people who live. apart from their families like that village thing has diminished. I just you talk about your aunt a lot. You know what I mean? It's like, that's rare with millennials raising kids. And because now it's just become the nuclear family, you or your spouse or maybe your single parent,

maybe a nanny, like it's very nanny's very privilege. Is the daycare worker. You become really defensive of your choices because if your child. fails, it's an indictment on you in on your little system. Whereas like I grew up in a culture where if a child was doing badly, it was a community shame. Do you know? okay, okay. And every like, just like, like you bear the name of in back way when you left.

It wasn't just like it was just like you are part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The collective has such community. It was, you know, an ethnic community, but it was like, Yeah, and if there was a celebration and that's why weddings were so big. If someone's getting married, everyone shows up because like, our child is getting married, but that doesn't exist in the same way. And I think a lot of that defensiveness comes from life. But I'm the only one doing this. Yes, exactly. What if, when my child misbehaves, I feel like I have failed?

It doesn't feel like we have failed. And there's something to collective failure or collective success. that kind of takes the pressure off, even if it's raising children. Yeah, I've been trying to figure this out, but I need your help for this. Trying to understand why grown ups. don't seem to understand kids. Okay, I need you. Like, what do you think it is? Okay, No less physical or less employed. And kids are fun. So kids have fun and the grown ups are boring.

Yeah. You think that's why they can't figure kids out? Yeah. Is the sitter loud? If you let it get chocolate, they'll say no. And then that is boring. that you're right. Fun Chocolate is fun. Kena, Like, what do you think? Or what do you wish adults understood more. about the life of a child or a younger person? I feel like especially parents do a really good job. I feel like there's two types of adults.

There's like parents, and then people without kids and then parents. I feel like sometimes they like me to live their dreams to their kids. so they don't like live in the moment and they like, go see like the future. So like everything right now in your life has to be like, perfect. Like, you can't be out late. You have to like, there's so many rules to, like, protect you for the future. so they don't live in the moment. And I feel like adults without kids who hang out with kids are like. way more to show because I guess they're not like your responsibility.

But I wish like adults in general could just like, take a breath. and just be like, let kids go because what happens happens. And like, they figured it out and they turned out well. I mean, some of those things turn out the best, but person like mostly I thought, like turn out fine. So I think they. I wish they could just understand to like, take a step back and like, let me be responsible for myself because I have like, all the key factors to do it.

So when I'm sitting down. with the kids for this episode, every child. felt like they were being held back by their parents and their parents. ability or inability to cater to their like play needs or their. You know, what was illuminating for me was watching. young people process the world through a very logical lens, by the way. Yeah, they were like, man, parents, the people are tired. Yeah, these people are like that tired. Like, they're always like, thinking about the future and like,

they don't like, chill and they don't hang out and they're not fun. And unanimously kids were like, These people don't understand this. I'm just all the kids. All the kids were all the kids felt taken care of. All the kids like none of the kids there was like, I think my parent is like, you know, really terrible pair. They're not doing a good job of. Yeah, but they all were like, Man, this person doesn't understand me. But I wonder, like when you were a kid, did you feel like your parent understood you? Did your parents get you or what was the thing that they got of you?

That's really interesting question. so the first thing I will say is that my dad is very, very intelligent, very astute man, and he would always debate with me. yeah, we're like intellectual sparring partners, like my mom is always I stop. I can't take it any more. Like, but I would be I always remember like, and it would be my also my, my Uncle Moses is someone else.

But I would speak to obviously that men. But I was a child and I would and they would go at it with me like. I was a real like contrarian and kind of polemicist. And they would just go at it with me. And I think my dad saw I had something and he valued what I have to say, even though he always came in on the other side. So he's so he's holding I if I say it's black, he says it's white. And then we like debate from there. And he's still like, you're wrong. And then but it's like and in hindsight, that was a really valuable thing.

I think especially it was actually a radical thing. My dad has four daughters, but like my coach, I think our children. are valued less, but like he never saw me as less than because I was a girl. If I probably the problem was he probably raised me like a man. And that's why I'm like, this way. It was just like he that sparring man. I went, I went out into the world. I was like, I know my ideas have value, but like, I just. I felt very misunderstood. But my mom told me a story recently.

She said that and my dad never told me this. But through the perspective of my dad, I play piano, I do exams, and I think I was like six years old. I had a piano exam and my dad was watching me through a window. and he went home and told my mom. He was like, The gal puts too much pressure on herself and he said. he saw it and it scared him because he was like, She's only six. Why is this piano exam Have some mistakes, Mind you, I think that stakes because of. how they were raising me, by. the way. But like, he came home and he was like, I just saw something her.

that kind of scared me because, like, you can't carry that intensity through. correct it. No, he was just like, go be intense. But, you know, so and sometimes you hear stories in your adulthood. that you're like, you did see me, you did understand me. Yeah, but maybe, you know, in that time you don't have the language. You know, it was just like, that's that's who they are. And sometimes now I'm thinking, it's not that they didn't understand me, it's just that they didn't have the tools and they weren't communicate.

They were not that time that were like, How do we digest this trait of my child? That is probably a little abnormal. Maybe we should get her some help. And that's actually just back to what you said, because I actually as a mother, I know I'm not enough and I've come to I'm at peace with that. I do not contain all the things that these children need, but I may be able to push them in towards the person. yeah, Yeah. I wouldn't be a stay at home mother. I know I'd be doing them a disservice from where I started.

You compensating for the village, essentially? Yeah. I don't like. I don't have enough. I can't. Yes. Yeah. And so that would be like the village elders. Yes, yes, yes, exactly. And so now I'm so. And I think if more parents, when I'm actually not enough, how do I connect to them? Because, Trevor, you give me parenting advice. You give me parenting is you guys don't have kids, but it's always like, well, the other day when you were like, no. he needs to be driving. yeah, we're about to lose. I was like, Trevor says he should be driving.

He was like, What? Yeah. And then I spoke through your logic behind that. and I was like, that's a good idea, you know? I mean, but it takes a humility to be like, actually my friend. who has no kids, has more insight into my kid in this area. Yeah, I have, because I'm so close to it. Yes. And I think if more parents were able to just say, I'm not enough, what do you think, Josh? What do you think? Trevor It'd be good for our kids, but we just don't do that. It's is also got to be very difficult. I know that I am not a parent, so I have not felt this like,

at least as was been described to me as this like life altering. experience of like having the kid and then the kid being a part of you. and you seeing parts of yourself in the kid and everything. So I understand that when there's a little bit of a. whatever, whether. you want to call it problem or deficiency within the child, whether it's a behavior thing or just like anything even in the body. And so that I understand the denial that some parents even go into. But I think that like to what you're saying, it's like a really great.

example is a lot of the fighters that I follow basically. got into trouble in school for fighting, but not fighting in a malicious way. Yeah, they just want to fight on the way. Hey, let's fight like that. And so, you know, they would get into trouble. in this way that could have so easily been solved by the parent. Instead of being like, No, my son's not going be a fighter. Like you might say, you got a lot of extra energy. and you clearly like wrestling with your friends.

Yeah, Why don't we why don't we get you in wrestling? And now all of a sudden. there's like, not only not a problem, it's like this person does better. So he has one thing I'll say to that that I've realized, and I know this is a lot of people will hear this and go, You can say that because you don't have kids and because. But I do believe my imagination allows me to think of what isn't. And therefore it could be. I don't think. and I know this is a this is a very broad statement.

I don't think there is anything that a child is doing that is wrong. It's just we have not created the space for it in their lives. Do you know what I mean? Like anything like to your point, like wrestling, think of it. You go a kid. Your kid is like always, like fighting with other kids at school. And to your point, not malicious fights are not. we're not normal teenagers with like issues. Now, take that child, put them in a fighting thing, and all of a sudden you've given them structure. Now they are a quote unquote fighter. And it's correct, they're doing the exact same thing. But now you have given them a do you know what I mean?

Or When I was young, I used to like dismantling things. which parents I can understand because like Mike said, this kid unscrewed the TV. It is terrible. Yeah. Unless you put me in an electronics class. Yeah. And now I'm like, you know, assembling circuit boards, and I'm working. All of a sudden you thought your purpose is to assemble and dismantle, and. And now you're looking at parts and you're putting things together, and you experiment again. And I know it's a broad statement because I'm like, well, what if they do this?

I think most things genuinely, most, most, most things can be catered to. If you get to the roots of what the child is trying to do. And that's what I mean by, you know, to borrow the phrase like, you know, parents just don't understand. It's like, yeah, the kid is not nine times out of ten kid. Kids are not trying to do a malicious thing to anyone in the family. They're not trying to dismantle your house. They just like the curious and they try and do some shifts. Don't go anywhere because we got more. What now? After this.

Okay. Can I sit down? Yes, I'm on the floor. So that's going to make you comfortable. Sit on the floor and you can sit on the floor, you know. Anyway, now, right? Life has been ruined. So, I mean, this is this is what happens in society. Whatever you do, you do something. You do something crazy. And then like this. Okay, okay. But then we can't see you. You can't see no, I mean, but the the people can't see you. So now you, like, just gone. This can. But I guess if you sort of like okay well we'll imagine you.

when they were asked about. how do you if you could change one thing about the world. Yeah. What would you do? I don't know. I just. You expect them to be like, more popcorn or like you can have. dessert for breakfast? And then they had very adult responses. So I. I have, like, a really important question to ask all of you. And this is about the world. If you could change anything about the world, what would you change?

So kind of what would you change? World hunger. wow. Okay. Because I feel like that's our biggest problem. Like, obviously there's like a war and stuff, but like, I feel everyone needs a good meal. and then they'll be happy. because if everyone's hungry, then like, nothing's going to work. You know, you say that and it's probably true. You find a lot of wars are fought because people are hungry. and like, I don't know about you, but if I don't eat, I could start a war.

So end world hunger. Okay, Charlie, what would you change about the world? I think I would like. change. Make it so that everyone's full. But also, like, some people don't have a home. and we wouldn't necessarily give them a home, but just like a place to stay where they would be safe from. I love this. Okay. Okay. So end world hunger and then give everyone a place to stay. Jennifer, what would you do? I think that, like, you know, in, like, Monopoly or, like, life or something.

You know, how, like, you start with enough money to survive? Yes. I think that everybody should be able to, like, at least they can choose how they spend their money. They can choose how it is. But there's so many people who like, work super hard and they don't like. they just don't it's like hard. It's too hard. So I think that everybody should at least start with enough money to live that way. and they can choose how they want to earn their money like,

but at least they should be able to have money. Like, like, I know I'm just talking a lot about money, but I feel like that's how the world is like based off of it. Is it is. You're not wrong. So like in life, we should give everyone a little money. so they can stop playing the game and it gives them a chance. Okay. Is a game. Yes. There's no way to win it. But you can survive. damn. That's deep. Wow. Not damn river. That's deep. Wow, River that's deep. I'm so glad you brought that up, because I was proud.

Even though I didn't know these kids that way. I was proud of what they were saying. But I was sad. I was really, really sad because I was. I was hoping for just crazy. Yeah. I mean, I was hoping for, you know, what could you do? And we did get like one like later on, like after. But it's almost like we have to solve the world's problems. and then we could get to. All right, the world is made of candy and let's have free cheese. And then last but definitely not least, what would you change about. the world's cheese?

More cheese. my God. What kind of cheese? Hard cheese. Soft cheese, socks, cheddar cheese. Cheddar. Just more cheese. Cheddar. But what would you do with the extra cheese? Eat it. All of it. Yeah. Do you think do you think that there's not enough cheese in the world? Half. You know, when No laws like free cheese. But it's only because I said it and all. You can't repeat anything. But I was just like, Do we pause and think to ourselves.

what it says about our society that children like we took, like, you know, six years old to like eight, nine years old and all these. their number. When you say, what would you change about the world? They say, man, I think I would give people a place to live because too many people. sleep on the streets and I would give people food because they're hungry. and I would give people and I'm like, wow, you are you are not spared. You know, you're not living in like a. just like a child's world, if that makes sense.

Yeah. And it was also I don't know, I'm don't know how this will sound out. loud, but like a firm belief, I've always had. is that there are no such things as grown ups. It's just that, like, kids get more responsibilities and like, have a harsher. I can actually buy into that idea. And I and I think that only a kid would be like, Why are we even doing this thing? Yeah. And sometimes we look at that and just like with the jobs thing. Yeah. And the money thing, you can be like, they just don't get it.

But every once in a while it's a very good question. And it's a question that, like sometimes finally ends up in like the halls of Congress. Yeah, why are we even doing this thing? And so it's like people put so much innocence on being a child. But I think there's a real. amount of perspective you get from not being glued down yet. Yeah, definitely. You're just not. You're not you're almost like, I mean, I told you, honest perspective. Yeah, I told you, like even even into my late teens, I think that was when I had my most, like,

maybe even my. most astute perspectives, even without having been. well read or anything yet I was just like, but this doesn't make sense. You you now have this thing of like, I'm going to stay. I'm imagining and I'm also going to stay a little bit freer. I think that that's like that's kind of what I saw in some of those kids. with their answers being like very worldly and astute that I'm like, if you could stay in a way, if you could stay the way.

that you are now, then I know we always put on the next generation. It's like that's actually the sort of like mindset and attitudes. that change the world. Yeah, because, because eventually you get so, like bogged down and like, stuck in the mud in a way that now somebody brings up. Okay, let's, let's open up this housing in L.A. And you're like, I just got this house. Josh, you sound like me. I mean, you joined like a neighborhood watch crew.

Cristiana no. On WhatsApp. no. yeah. that's what half life comes at you fast. Become a NIMBY hand. And now it's time for a new segment. Creativity Over Coffee brought to you by Starbucks. Christiana You probably drink more coffee than anybody I know you love coffee. I couldn't live without it.

Honestly, as a mother, it's funny. I like coffee for the communal side. It's like the standing around, you know, thinking of ideas, chatting together, just like, yeah. What are some of the ideas for the show? Like, I mean, look on the show, the idea of having kids on, I mean, should have terrified us. By the way, because you know better than anyone, like six kids sitting together on a couch is a terrible idea. But it was actually great,

like a fun idea, chatting to kids, learning about their points of view. And I don't know, I think ideas like that you can only come up with. when you're sort of in like a flow state, you know what I mean? Coffee puts me in the flow. really? Yeah. I start my day with Cobra. I love Cobra, black and strong, just like me. I. also I love that. I absolutely love that. You know, that's how I met my husband. No ways. Yes, I'm joking. He did me on Twitter. I was like, I see. You're in L.A., too.

We should meet for coffee. And I was like, This is weird. Guy wanted to ask me out for coffee, but I'll do it because it was coffee. And he seemed interested. And here we are. Here we are. He brought you in without children? I'm not even. Okay, well, that's the end of our coffee break, but hopefully you're inspired, you know, to connect and come up. with some creative ideas or a marriage. It's a great day for coffee. It's a great day for Starbucks.

That wasn't how it was like in this of the 1700s. It was it wasn't like that. I was there and it wasn't like that's still in there. I was this machine. I am always everybody. Is this true? Is this true? It is true, Yeah. That was then the 1700s. Yeah, my dad was there, but a lot of us were there. And I don't know if this. is much of an African thing as it is a southern thing. So I just wanted to ask, which by the way, is the same thing. It is.

It is very much it's the same thing. It's so can I tell you. Sorry. Sorry to cut you off. No, that's. one of my favorite things is how much I when I meet people from the south. Yeah. I feel like we had the exact same childhood. I feel. And, I mean, we don't want to go to the dark reason why, so we're not going to go there. Yeah, like, literally, when you talk about your mom, I'm like, that's my mom. When you buy your parents, I'm like, Yeah, that's my parents. Like, Yeah, but, well, basically there's a thing that a lot of Southern people. that I wonder, you know, who the person is for you all.

Because I've been told. by a lot of people I have a I have a grandfather I never met right. He passed away before I was born. And so it's not as if I could have been nurtured by him or grown up around him. But so many people in my life have told me I remind them of him. And it's almost like his spirit, a little boy, completely have that. And I'm wondering who you get told is like your spirit person. So My parents are hyper Christian, okay? So they've moved away from the region, which is a big thing in like.

Igbo culture, like, you know, and you're about culture. There's like names that signify like the name. One of my close friend. Her name is Yolanda, which means the mother has returned. and is normally a name to somebody When they died, a grandmother died. And then the child that was born is a girl, you know, called his name. I think Iyabo is the other name that's like that. So I do like the lore of the culture is that people believe in reincarnation. So my parents never said that about me.

However, Obi is so much like my father. There's things he does that scares me. Like the other day. he was walking through the supermarket and he had his hands behind his back. during the old man walk and I was like, It's. I was like, my God, you scared the shit out of me. And I had to take a picture. I was like, What? And then he there's a way he sits sometimes in the way he places his hand. And like, of course, he's around my dad. They speak on face time all the time. But like the actual.

Yeah, mannerisms, mannerisms. And I was like, I gave birth to my father. Yeah. Especially if there's something you couldn't have taught him. Like, there's nothing. But he just was like, walking around and he was looking around, like, in the way that my dad does and looking. And I, I took a picture, and I, like. my dad was like, he said something about Gladys Obara. Yeah. And he was just we're just talking about, like, the power of blood in that way. because so I just say my son very much, I look at him.

and I see my father, but myself, I don't have I don't know if I had that. So I was always told, like a people would say. that to me about my grandfather. They would say, like they would literally say, You guys do the same thing. And you know, and you like, walk in a room. And this terrified me because we found out. my grandfather was bipolar at the end of his life. So I was like, you don't understand how many like psychologists. I've seen where I'm like, Are you sure? Yeah. Are you sure? Sure.

And they're like, you know, I was like, All right, we're going to keep checking. But but yeah, I had that where people would say it's the same. They go like you. You just seemed like a flash from the past. They go, you know, you like to walk. And I didn't spend a lot of time with them, but they go the walk is like. his. And, you know, the the, the way you love telling people jokes. and the way you you get you causing chaos in a conversation and all the like. It's like we're watching it happen again. And what mesmerized people was the fact that we didn't spend time together.

Like I spent all my time with my grandmother and I completely different. You know, we were like completely different people, vibes, everything. It's just, you know, I have a lot of personality. traits from my dad, which my mom has told me about. And ironically, again, I spent very little time with him. And these are like personality things that adults would have with each other. It's not like a child would pick up from a parent. Yeah, yeah. Mom's just like, man, it's your dad, you know? So it is it is fascinating to see that and to see like a, you know, a passed down slash a you know.

Yeah. Which I like. I don't know. So before we, before we go. So before we go, there's two important things that I, that I, that I really need your help figuring out. What do you think adults struggle with understanding about kids? Like what do you wish they understood? Okay. Yes. Juniper. Okay. So. I think that. like adults sometimes don't understand, like kids feelings and like the way. that like popularity.

at school and, like, went like something happened. Like, my mom was just like, read it. And I was like, no. And like in other things, too, like, I found out that. I didn't get into something I really, like worked for. And then they were like, Go read a book. And I was like, That's it's kind of like more than that. like parents are also. It can be very understanding. But other times, like even as early the next morning, you can I go to sleep. and then the next morning it feels like they don't understand you at all.

Okay, so if I'm hearing what you're saying, you would love to. to live in a world where parents spend a little more time. trying to understand what their kids are going through, because maybe for them, they make it seem like it's a small thing. and they like they sort of get over it quickly, but then kids might still be dealing with it. Exactly. Yeah. I think that was that was probably my my favorite thing about hanging out with. these kids was it made me it made me realize. that kids are a lot more perceptive than we think.

And if we used that as a resource, genuinely, I don't even mean this in like a mere man world. You could like, build a better world. But even as a parent, kids. can tell you things about yourself that you need to work. It's amazing how they will. In the same way funding of animal trade, like dog trainers, will tell you there's no such thing as a bad dog. There's only a bad owner. I think kids tell you who you are. Yeah, Whether you like it or not. They'll just tell you. I wonder how many parents ask their kids. Hey, what do you think I could work on?

What do you think I could spend a little more time? Where do you see my feelings? Like, what do you. You know, because you're a parent. My. Your job is to raise this child, and yet you never ask the child who you are raising, how they think you're doing. Which To me, sounds like a crazy. We should bring end of year reviews. We should like to be parents. Your kids. So what did I do? Well, this year. Yeah.

What do you think I do? Well, yeah. Yeah. What didn't you like about me? It's hard. I don't even want to know what my kids would say, But. And I think they would surprise you. Yeah, I think you'd be surprised. at how lenient children are in a way that parents aren't. Yeah, I think parents take for granted that kids see in them. things that they don't even see in themselves. and kids see in the world things that we don't see in the world. And if you if you ask them when they're still like all up under you,

like I know until I was like maybe ten, I was like all up under. My mom wanted to be with my mom. Yeah, she's like that. Yeah. It's like you ask a question like that, there's no agenda behind it. It's like. It's literally like, I wanted the best for my mom. But the way that, like, a child wants what's best for you and in such earnest is like, that's very. It's like earth shattering, like shaking to your soul. Just even kids that aren't my kids, but my friends kids will be like, How have you been in like, I've missed you so much and like the way. a child says they miss you is like.

what you were thinking about. Yes. Well, you know what week it is. Yeah. Like this is just the summer, and you're like, I've missed you so much. It's like. It's like if we gave them a chance, like, genuinely, I would encourage everyone who's a parent, just try. It's just like, try it. Just go sit with your kid and be like, Hey, do you think we could improve this household? And and don't get me wrong, one of the suggestions is going to be more ice cream. There's always going to be ice cream. Yeah. So I think asking questions like that is like. Yeah, that could be world changing.

Yeah, we should do it. Well, this was fun. This is going to make kids. Josh, I'm good because this is the thing. No, no, no. Let's go do it. We're going to go make kids. We're going to go make kids. And we're going to have a lot of fun. Because it seems easy to me. It seems easy raising them seems easy. Understanding them. I didn't say any of this. We're going to do it. I think we need the wives first. We're going to do it. People listening. I didn't say we are going to do it. You heard it here first. Josh and Trevor going to go out and make some kids. I don't know why you put my name and raise them.

this office. Blah, blah, blah, blah. No offense. All right. Well, thank you so much, Hannah. Thank you for coming, Nola. Thank you for coming, Charlie. Thank you for coming. Gina But thanks for coming. Matteo Thank you for coming. Eden Thank you so much for coming. I will make sure to tell the adults everything you've said. and let's try to change the world. Thank you, everybody. JENNY Nice job, everyone. We we think Bobby.

And What Now with Trevor Noah is produced. by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Seema Yasmin and Jody AV. Again, our senior producer is Just Happened. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music Mixing and Mastering by Hannah Brown. Special thanks to all of our kids experts and their parents. for helping to make this episode such a fun one.

My new book, Into the Uncut Grass, is available now. wherever you get your books and audiobooks. Thank you so much for listening. Join us next Thursday for another episode of What Now?