Will Sasso | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #444
we've got some new merch items to tell. you about the be good to yourself crew. neck and teal. it's frosty and we got the new hoodie in. Bittersweet plus we've got the root beer. T-shirts from the uh root beer cartoon. all that and more at Theo. vonstore.com. today's guest is a phenomenal actor uh. comedian human male. um he's the co-host of the doozy podcast.
uh he has been on here before. um he is he's really iconic with his. Impressions and just his General ability. uh to make people feel Joy we're happy. to have him back today's guest is my. friend Mr Will Sasso. [Music].
oh. wow. [Applause]. um dude good to see you again good to. see you man yeah I haven't seen you it's. been a while pre-pandy I know huh yeah. you came in the podcast man and we had. one of the best times ever was win yeah. man and we did the Christmas song yeah.
all that weird [ __ ] I remember I see you. know like. you know kids still of course you know. throw up clips and [ __ ] and I'll see. that every once in a while just I'll. genuinely laugh my ass off me too and. how silly that was me too man it was so. much fun yeah dude. um yeah oh dude and you know what and I. interviewed since you've been on I had. Jesse Ventura on really yeah oh I missed. that oh how was that no no I did I know. that you did that I did not check it out. though how was that a night it was a.
nightmare. he's you gotta like watch every word you. say right I mean he talked for. here it is right there he talked for. seven he talked for 1700 year he took. for 1700 years to hours okay. yeah it was unbelie he's like uh you. know I drank four look he just kept. going off he's like I drink four Locos I. drink I'll drink six Locos I drink four. times six I'll drink 24 Locos and I love.
America so I moved to Cuba yeah or. something he's in the Baja okay yeah. yeah I don't even live in the. continental United States anymore yeah. I'm in the Baja yeah that's what he said. yeah. I'm down in the Baja now. I wouldn't vote for either of them yeah. that was this whole thing bro a. two-party system is uh it's there in. place to do what it does and we're all. we're all indoctrinated yeah it's like I. bought my American flag in uh China.
I went there myself to have it it's the. largest American flag in uh in North. America yeah he kept saying I joined the. uh I joined the Hell's Angels as well. I'm gonna you know I'm I'm part-time. yeah I just wanted free tickets to. Altamonte to see the stones and uh you. know back then I was just so I was. mostly following the dead and I said I.
gotta go see the stones I was this far. from the guy who got stabbed in the face. hello everybody yeah Will Sasso. um. it was unbelievable so we went and he. said I I only I want one person to come. and get me meet my wife in the middle of. the yard or whatever like it was very it. was almost like you were trading I was.
like when I'm you know I imagine like. how they traded Brittany grind or. whatever for whatever it was like that. like meet me in the yard no covid right. no Co like don't bring any covet like. don't bring any guns it was like wait. when you recorded with him yeah don't. bring any kovitz or guns he's like no. covered no guns and we're like all right. I don't think he knows how this works it. was just so bizarre so then uh our the. tour manager my my buddy Bizzle goes and. picks him up and. and he said that uh that Jesse just.
talked to him the whole way then he got. to the interview I asked him I think I. said hello it was very. it was very just like at barely anything. out of the gate and he just went and he. kept saying you know I gotta leave you. know I'm about to get out of here and. then he would stay for 45 more minutes. that's awesome and I hate to bash on him. but he was it was he was I can't tell if. he was mentally or just kind of getting. out there or if he was just damn had. lost you know or if he was just an.
egomaniac you know yeah I mean he's he's. lived so many [ __ ] lives I know I've. never had the opportunity to meet the. guy but anytime I watch him you know on. anything I'm just like I don't know that. I can it's one of those you don't want. to meet your Heroes kind of thing. because he is he is out there he'll go. from you know Halliburton orchestrated. the BP oil spill and then the next thing. he says is like you know what's really. good is uh we just tortillas with. scrambled eggs you said come on would. you like to sleep over I have a spare.
room that you'd really like it's woodsy. I've sort of brought Minnesota to the. Baja I call it Baja soda anyway you'll. really like the aesthetic I don't know. if I [ __ ] I don't is he gonna kill me. I can't tell if I can't stand this guy. yeah yeah I have some uh are you uh do. you ever dine on Long pig that's what. the cannibals call human being because. it tastes like pork Oh I gotta go I. gotta go in four minutes no no no stick. around I'm just getting started anyway.
the Gulf of Tonga and dropped these. these mercenaries in there and I was. with the Navy Seals and of course I can. hold my breath for 19 minutes so that's. why they brought me with them they used. to they used to call me uh the snorkel. scuba yeah. submarine. that's so crazy this is just like being. with him really. topic to topic oh I couldn't get a word. in I couldn't and it was the longest. interview it's a three-hour interview oh.
my God it was unbelievable man and we. did it like we took we kind of. commandeered this um. uh it was like a Days Inn or something. and they had a little meeting room in. there and so it was this Indian family. that like owned it so we told him you. know like this guy you know we showed. him pictures on the internet of Jesse. and like this is who's coming you know. and so the whole family's like waiting. by the door when you give like I don't. think they understood what was going on. I think they thought it was like a. diplomat or something but anyway he.
showed up and um. the cleaning lady kept kind of trying to. sneak in and see if she could help in. any way you know just so bizarre dude. you have any uh Orange Crush I'd love an. orange crush let's get a couple of. orange crushes with like a three hour. he's the kind of guy I want to like lock. in a room with Alex Jones and like just. give them a bottle of of uh you know. yeah schnapps or something and see what. happens like just well they talk for. seven and a half [ __ ] hours this is.
funny this is unbelievable just like. sleeping or yeah a golfer Tonga you know. Bohemian Grove. anyway. dude it's what's interesting is to not. end up in the in some of those rabbit. holes is absolutely crazy sometimes but. um like when you get on the internet but. yeah Jesse was crazy man he was like I. was a gov I was a governor of Minnesota. I was a uh I sold sodas in uh in Orange. Grove he's like I sold sodas and mini.
Governor he like would everything. started to get convoluted like it was. almost like uh there was like a. a little something wrong in The Matrix. you know like he was getting bad Intel. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he. starts he just completely starts. glitching yeah yeah I was wrestling Bob. Backlund at the Philadelphia spec. spectrum and uh I got a call from Hugo. Chavez and really at ringside yeah and. Vince McMahon said it's you go and so.
you know I uh so I hit backland uh in. the face with a chair so he could sell. it and he was outside the ring and then. I went and took the call and he said we. need you out here we need I need you to. help negotiate with Castro are these. this is even line up Time what year was. it it was 1982 when do you think it was. I don't [ __ ] know yeah he does that. [ __ ] when do you think yeah when do you. why don't you tell me why well why don't. you tell me if you're such a patriot I.
don't know I don't know I wasn't I was a. navy suit I understand well why don't. you tell me were you there you were. there in the jungles of Laos no you're. not Laotian I thought I read that about. you on Wikipedia no I don't what do you. like do you like orange soda or would. you like it Mr Pibb. Excuse Me Miss yeah Mr pip. yeah it was unbelievable dude yeah yeah.
it was the longest day though and he. just and finally at the end he's like so. I heard somewhere you're a comedian oh. geez like at the beginning hour three. and it starts out he's like how much how. much time do you have he's like I only. have about 35 minutes or just letting. you know that after that I'm out of here. yeah like one more thing before I go and. then he just rattled off to another. Echelon of complete just Eagle maniacal. [ __ ] and then he said he joined the.
hells hey he joined the uh he was a one. percenter right which I guess is a. motorcycling gang will you look it up. and kudos to them dude because I think. we need more gangs in America gang gang. we need gangs yeah people are like what. gang is left even there's no more gangs. to create yeah Social Security is almost. dead that's almost that's a good gang. but it's I feel like they're losing. steam Social Security I mean I feel like. any day now people are going to start. getting just blank checks sent to them.
yeah senior citizens well that's [ __ ]. true we are very close to collapse in. every single way yeah this guy's a one. percenter that's what he said I'm a one. I'm a one percenter yeah. that's a healthy yeah he's like I've. driven Past Dead bison and uh South. Dakota I love that he didn't no so. you're a comedian yeah tell me a joke. yeah tell me oh uh I thought I thought. you were Anderson Cooper yeah I'm sorry. I'm just my meds kind of they start.
balancing out around 4 35. now I can see. you're not Anderson Cooper He's like I. do Sundowners early just to get it over. with you know I [ __ ] I do my son. Downing from three to four Thirty it was. unreal man Downing and we had to yeah it. was like it was it was on it was. unbelievable and he almost has he walks. like a Sasquatch kind of he has that. like he has that he has that former. bodybuilder like have you ever met like.
someone who was like oh this guy was a. [ __ ] in 1967 or whatever you. meet like you know former nflers and. stuff and it's like they still have that. gate yeah where it's like you're you're. 67 years old but you could kick my. [ __ ] ass like yeah you see that guy. at like the grocery store where it's. like and he's like you know just big. gnarled muscle hands and [ __ ] like Lou. Ferrigno if you see him is he does he. have someone at the post office one time. and he's like can I set this he had his.
wife with him he's like I want to set. the box down and his wife's like you. hold the box if some just box of [ __ ]. they were mailing somewhere yeah yeah. they just they lose the mass and keep. the vascularity and they look like a. like a shorn chimp yeah yeah look at him. lifting his shirt up there yeah look at. that wow wow yeah it's like wow I want. wow look at the look at the ABS on he's. got five ABS there that was Lou. ferrigno's that was just that's why he.
could never beat Arnold yeah because in. Mr Olympia because Arnold had anywhere. from six to eight abs and uh Lou. Ferrigno no matter what he did he always. had that Crown AB at the top it's sort. of looking over the other abs. yeah yeah he was drinking ABS in that's. why yeah that's why back then they. didn't have protein shakes you just chew. on the steak on your youngest son yeah. just chew on his feet.
get your nutrients get that attitude. dude how did bodybuilding even start I. wonder how did Bobby yeah. well who said do you think it was some. guy that was just real strong and then. people were like oh this. we gotta do with this guy I think it's. desk jobs as soon as after the. Industrial Revolution or revolution uh. then people started going like oh I'm. [ __ ] you know how come my you know. how come my Farmer great grandfather was. in such great shape and then they they.
figured it out well it's artificially. just lift up dumbbells it must have been. the silliest [ __ ] in the world when. people were doing it in like 1940 and. stuff I have an uncle actually uh uh who. in Italy was was started for real. bodybuilding my dad's oh wow yeah Dad's. younger brother my old man was all was. always weightlifting and stuff uh and we. had like this set up in the garage and. everything but my um I have like you. know five Uncle Pash squalls but one of. my uncle pashkawals was uh yeah legit.
bodybuilding so you see some of those. pictures from the 60s and you're like. you look [ __ ] idiotic like no one. else is doing that yeah it looked like a. deformity back then yeah look at this. guy oh wow that's yeah that's my uncle. Pasqual up there and look at that ass. yeah he's Keen to show off that ass I. feel like it was very you wouldn't see a. man's ass back then very much look at. those look at the barbells that's. hilarious and and everything old is new. again because this is uh what people do.
with kettlebells like it's it's bulbous. and round and that's part of it you. can't have anything I mean it's like. when you look at normal weights like. they they don't roll away they're all. you know they're all square and they're. shaped like octagon or a stop sign or. whatever which is an octagon I think. yeah and uh but back then it's you know. you had to have that. you know yes I I kind of have I kind of. have that that thing I don't want to. take my shirt off or show anyone my ass. but if I did like shave completely my.
horseshoe and everything and just do. that and with my tits out the side and. stuff people would think that I was a a. 1920s Carnival strong man look at the. guy in the on the top right there next. to barbell man in that same picture that. guy has no right uh even posing he's. just like a yeah he's like an 11 year. old going yeah look at me Mom that guy's. a tall young he probably closeted I. would say this guy just came to meet men.
and he anytime there's a camera going. off there's some dude in the distances. closeted yeah yeah he's got his briefs. on backward which was code yeah you know. it's like the one earring thing or some. kind of ribbon or hanging or the one. earring thing that used to mean that. used to meet you again now that's. interesting because you're from. Louisiana I'm from the complete like. opposite Vancouver Canada on the west. coast of Canada and that meant the same. [ __ ]. wow so then and then you had the thing.
of like well wait a minute does that. mean Mr T is gay when you're a kid what. oh wow Mr T is gay because he had the. feathered oh yeah he was hanging yeah. he's like I pity this mouth full of. semen you know what I'm saying. it was like he was like say no to gays. or whatever how did the uh gay uh let's. find out how did the gay one earring. rumor start. because the first gay dude ever in our. area they had a guy and he was mentally.
challenged or whatever I don't know if. he was mentally handicapped or mentally. challenged one of them means I think. you're still gonna try to beat it you. know yeah one of them means you can work. at Wendy's and the other one is like no. you got to go to the the daytime. Activity Center yeah yeah so one is like. you're still in the race and one is like. yeah you gotta stay yeah yeah for. everyone's best interest it would be. nice if you just just yeah just have. some popcorn yeah yeah yeah here's mats. and you can get over here you just watch. TV uh but we had a guy and he was.
mentally challenged or I don't know he. was mentally something I'm not sure what. the second part of his uh disease was or. whatever but they he had a somebody. bought him a um bike uh or they got him. a woman's bike and it had a little baby. seat on the back of it remember that. yeah yeah where they put a baby behind. the mother which is insane yeah so the. baby's just like this because you're. like yeah the baby's back there yeah. yeah. breaking just splitting up breast milk. as you guys are just cruising down the. street right yeah and then you'd get off.
the bike and always kick the baby in the. face and it's like why oh no you puked. what yeah your foot would come around. when you got off the bike and it would. just whip the baby back to the other. side yeah and then you gently just you. know lay it against a hedge or something. and I'll be right back and you go into. the liquor store yeah yeah you're going. to the post office or something you're. going to the post office like I need a. box big enough to mail a baby. dude my high school we had uh we. happened to have it was the there was. like four or five high schools in this. District of this whatever you know this.
community uh the bigger area and um. there we happen to have uh the the uh. most of the mentally challenged kids. there because you know the program was. just set up at the school and they had. the wing of the school and so they were. really. they were really included in the rest of. the school like our our big thing at. school was like the our talent show was. the lip syncs every year so you know the. the mentally challenged kids would have. there was a guy that we literally called.
Elvis and he sort of you know he lived. his life as Elvis sort of 50s Elvis he. would do a lip sync and um there was all. these these great characters there was. this one kid called buddy we call them. buddy and he's like hey bud have a hug. and that was his thing and all the all. the senior gals who were like you know. we were like wow yeah he would sit with. them at lunch because they were like oh. buddy hey you know can I here give me a. hug you know here's some chicken nuggets.
and I was always threatening to like. next year I'm gonna go to a different. school and just show up like hey buddy. hug you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and. just like go for it oh yeah play. mentality you get a little bit of tit. that's bad it wasn't working any other. way. I've been there dude I remember telling. uh oh all the lies I told in the day I'm. getting a little legs yeah God man yeah. you just tell them straight up you work. at Wendy's and then get the [ __ ] baby.
seat on the back of the bike just for. effect let me see those tits I'm dying. soon and they're like uh you're fine. ask him out on a date and show up with. that bike. well here is the thing though so the. bike the seat in the back had like a x. you know it had that seat so they had. this guy and his he was mentally unwell. and his parents had got him this bike. but people thought the seat in the back. there was a rumor started that he was uh. a gay fella and that his husband had.
left him he had a small a little husband. that had left him and that's why the. back seat was always empty that's a long. that's a long way to go for that rumor. yeah yep that's digging that's not what. the case was at all the kids will make. [ __ ] up yeah well it was just I think it. added like a level of like oh you almost. felt bad for him you know right like oh. man his husband left him his little tiny. husband yeah so people were always. looking for a little husband yeah. they're going in the Wendy's looking for. a tiny husband yeah yeah what what do.
you want you uh you married no what's. with one what's with that yeah what's. with the one I like it I like it you're. ear pierced no it's a clip-on I just. bring it up Zach how did the one earring. fad start what happened the pride of the. community to look at the gay earring. yeah so I found this uh ex exploration. of it and this is a gay and lesbian. website by the way so uh. the left ear also known as the gay ear. is more commonly pierced by homosexuals.
than the right ear the origin of the gay. ear remains a mystery men who wore them. may have felt that they were copying. women and becoming more feminine. although there are signs and symbols of. homosexuality so it doesn't say but it. does say it may have originated late 80s. and 90s as the gay rights movement was. gaining traction anything you can do to. set yourself apart as as a gay person. certainly into the 90s where it's you. know still wasn't as nowhere near as.
accepted as it was now although I kind. of feel like you know I don't know. things sort of tend to repeat themselves. socially in my opinion every like 30. years it's like Civil Rights Movement. mid-60s then like the nine early 90s We. There was just it felt like a lot of. activism and stuff and you know but the. 80s weren't in the 80s weren't at all. like 80s like whatever styrofoam Big. Macs and cocaine and then um like the. 2000s no one gave a [ __ ] anymore and now. here we are there's so so much going on. and I feel like you know 60s 70s 80s 90s.
if yeah you have to go like it must have. been just a [ __ ] up thing to be like I. want to set myself apart I want you to. know that I am who I am and I'm proud uh. but it also is something that I don't. want to get you know I don't I don't. want to be harassed for it but I want. people in my community to see what it is. and Mr T and Jesse Ventura he used to. wear all that stuff like he used to have. as Jesse The Body in the WWE he always. had feathered things and you know but.
that was also the 80s you could Mr T. with all his chains and yeah he looked. like a meth Christmas tree I feel like. Jesse Ventura yeah that's what he. reminds me yeah he just looked like. here's like it was like Billy Idol Boy. George and a giant built guy and he's. got like you know a bandana and yeah. heeds hanging from his head yeah like. where Steven Tyler kept extra [ __ ] you. know hey Steven do you would you mind if. I had some of these scarves are you.
using these scarves nah man go ahead. look at him yeah bro that is some that. is unbelievable yeah the boa. God he is with Vince McMahon that's. tremendous using the internet without. expressvpn is like passing a note in. class and having the teacher read it. aloud to everyone. you don't want the Ops knowing what.
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55 off your subscription Babble language. for life. it's really interesting how it's almost. like during that time that. uh a lot of the wrestlers stole a lot of. the gay. energy almost it's almost like the WWE. you couldn't. even no matter how much gay and you were. doing you couldn't top look at this you. couldn't top this no well there was. there was a guy at that you know there. was always characters that pushed the. envelope in that way like Gorgeous.
George in the 1950s was the guy who like. um uh you know Muhammad Ali credit score. just George a lot for being a talker and. said he got a lot of it from that but he. had the curly blonde hair areas and uh. oh not to be confused with Macho Man's. uh girlfriend from the 90s whose name is. also Gorgeous George yeah but uh. Gorgeous George used to curl his hair. and uh he was a super heel so like you. know the wrestler would you know they'd. go to lock up and go Get Your Filthy.
Hands off of me and he was quite. flamboyant and I think for a lot of guys. like Dusty Rhodes and stuff I mean you. want to talk about Jesse Ventura talking. for seven hours I I love professional. wrestling so I'm sorry but uh you know. guy like Dusty Rhodes is like well I'm. gonna wear this hat and I'm gonna and. I'm going into the tickle trunk for this. and that my aunt's thing there was a. actually I just saw an interview with. Mick Foley where he was talking about. with with Conrad Thompson they do those. you know they do these long wrestling he.
has so many wrestling podcasts Conrad. Thompson and he was saying that him and. his wife would go. um uh Cactus Jack Mick Foley's old. character in the 90s that they would go. to Lane Bryant and [ __ ] and just get. because you know Mick Foley didn't want. to show off his the entire body so he. would have like the tights that said. Cactus and Jack and he'd wear the. snakeskin boots and then he'd have like. something like leopard print and they.
would just modify it I think there's a. huge long history of of wrestlers. because they got to be colorful they got. to find their their gimmick and uh and. you know what sets them apart and then. there are guys that go way over it a guy. like uh you know Adrian Adonis. was a guy who in the 70s and 80s was. like this New York tough and he's like a. New York or somewhere in New Jersey or. New York I think he might have been New. Jersey oh yeah and then by the 80s he.
went into adorable Adrian Adonis and. really pushed the envelope and I. remember being a kid watching this just. going like yeah this man is this man is. is is is gay and the other wrestlers. don't like this and it was real like. Gorgeous George thing. you know you know what's really. interesting is that if you do steroids. right right and. if you do them and your body gets kind. of morphed out and morphed up right when. you stop doing them you get breasts the.
tits so it's really interesting how you. can go to this masculine as masculine as. possible and right after that is tit on. man and it's it's literally estrogen and. it's like it's tissue that you know they. call it [ __ ] tits and um yeah isn't. that what happens with uh with uh. meatloaf in Fight Club is that he got. [ __ ] tits Bob had [ __ ] tits I'm not. sure yeah so it because it's a you can.
look you can always tell and again being. a wrestling head you can always tell. when a guy's like cycled off or roids. because you know they deflate a bit and. then they get the uh they get the the. little [ __ ] tit out the side yeah. something I've never ever I mean in any. like you know you're lifting weights or. this and that or when I was younger and. stuff and playing football I'm like I. don't ever want to first of all I am. steroids like I I'm like I can't I want. to get smaller and I just feel like. whatever I eat would either turn into.
fat or muscle depending on what I'm. doing about it but my metabolism wasn't. fast god and I'm like that's the last. thing I need is more tit yeah you know. fat guys shouldn't ever do steroids at. all because then you you do get a very. well researched character the meatloaf. thing because then you do get the the. [ __ ] tits was it a movie he was in was. it about being fat it was um Fight Club. in in Fight Club he was just one of the. guys who ends up in Fight Club and um. and uh uh what was his his name is oh.
man I forget what is they said his name. is something but I think Robert Paulson. Robert Paulson and it was Bob that's. right Robert Paul his name is Robert. Paulson. and uh they say Yeah in the movie. there's that line Bob had [ __ ] tits and. he's fighting um yeah just not a good. God bless you you know what I mean if. you got some if you got some [ __ ] tits. push it all the way. try you know try out for a Wrestling.
Federation copy Adrian adonis's gimmick. get soup you know paint one of your eyes. uh you know be very uh colorful and make. some money you know what I mean yeah I. mean negative into a positive these days. that's what you got to do we had a fella. we had a lady who came on here she was a. female uh truck driver right and. actually let's go back to that article. real quick Zach I look kind of. interesting that Robert Paulson said at. the end of that film. if you can.
I'm gonna chime this in here. I brought my podcasting water jug yeah. that's a lot huh yeah I like water it's. pretty good you like sink juice uh yeah. yeah I do like it I like I think I'm. trying to think of the most I've ever. had oh one time I went to my friends and. he's like I bet you can't drink this you. little right yeah and he probably. shouldn't have said that but he said it. as tends to happen when you go to a. friend's house oh totally yeah. so I drank a gallon of water right and.
then I couldn't like I feel like I. couldn't like open my eyes or something. was wrong with me so I was like I'm. gonna go lay down and they're like yeah. go lay down you little [ __ ] who are. these people these are good these are. friends of yours yeah were you in the. one percenters is that who did that yeah. they were one percent yeah they just. [ __ ] hated me hey man we're at a beer. what are we gonna do with Theo how are. we gonna jump him in I got an idea we're. gonna see how much water he can drink. yeah I like it good idea let's see if.
he's one of us. I'll be down there in the swamps just. taking a sip every once in a while while. I'm underwater for 19 minutes wrestling. alligators and drinking swamp water. you little pansy you see how much water. you can drink. yeah so Jesse made me go drink all this. water and then I lay down on my friend's. room fell asleep and I peed and it went. Corner to Corner in the uh in the room. nice what in the room 12 square feet I.
mean I hit the walls with that I envy. you that's. man I would love to do something like. that it was amazing man it was Unreal it. was blue carpet it was this cool blue. carpet they had at their house and so it. almost had this kind of like kind of. tropical Vibe but it was like you you. pissed corner to corner while saturating. carpet oh dude yeah a lot of piss yeah. oh it was as much piss I think as. someone could have in them you know you. can die that way there's always those. like you ever hear about like the radio. station like who can hold their water. the longest and people have passed away.
from that it's dangerous I will piss. myself in here will you good yeah yeah. and where'd you get that big of a jug. from that's like almost seems like one. of those things for the boats when the. boats are going to like the buoys yeah. you can you can put this up against on. the side of the boat so you don't bang. against the dock you know Amazon you can. get everything on Amazon I like to have. I have a few two gallon jugs I have one. that's specifically in my car that stays. cold you know what I mean so when you're. driving you can just pull the get the.
get the jug and I have a couple around. the house that are um that are that are. this size yeah it's important just room. temperature that way it goes through you. faster and you can piss easier yeah. because it's all about piss and that's. all I want I'm a I'm a you know I'm a. piss freak you know what I mean I really. want to paint or whatever yeah one of. those piss picks that's right I'm a piss. truther I drink it I you know I piss on. people I invite them over I say oh you. want to drink a little bit of water but. they don't know what I'm really into. they'll find out soon enough then Jesse.
wanders in in his hoodie I've had six. four Locos I've had four or six logo. I've had 24 locals I just moved to Aruba. you know when uh Costa Rica they only. have two laws I don't even know what. they are that's it's basically just a. free-for-all it's Lord of the Flies out. there I love it I built a [ __ ] deck. that doesn't even have y-beams it could. fall down at any moment I invite as many.
people from the town as I can over for. tortillas with scrambled eggs just can't. wait for it to [ __ ] fall and I'm like. ghost of evil Revolution. that's how I say it. foreign. you know I was there when uh the Big. Bopper died I was right out there yeah I. saw the plane go down yeah yeah I got. out there just a minute too late because. I had to swim and I just got preoccupied. because I love being underwater and.
pretty soon I'm just doing the. backstroke and then I rolled up and. Ritchie Valens is like help help yeah. yeah hey it's you La Bamba Lou Diamond. Phillips and he said no that movie. hasn't happened yet. I understand I'm Eternal. I I cross Dimensions I've been a. governor a vampire a piss truther a. wrestler I've been here for thousands of. years I'm an angel I know you I'm an.
AIDS activist. you know what that's what the you know. that's a me and Harvey Milk we wore this. this is how we you know knew each other. we were we were in politics for change. pushing pushing policy for everybody. inclusivity I was way ahead of it that's. why I'm in Baja trying to start a new. Society altogether the two-party system. here has led us astray yeah both of. those uh geriatric freaks I wouldn't. trust either of them.
and I know them both very well a lot of. people don't know this but I go duck. hunting with Joe Biden and Donald Trump. every spring because they come down to. the bar they don't want to tell you this. they're all working for the same Master. that's right and uh we go down there and. uh. occasionally Rupert Murdoch will fly up. and everybody gets along. Tucker or Cooper Anderson Cooper and. Tucker Carlson together on a tandem.
bicycle and they take turns sitting in. the baby seat and Tucker's like oh. he's you know getting tickled as he's. rocking back and forth with Anderson and. everyone gets along. so that's great man hey I brought you a. a sweater is this from duty duty our. podcast yeah it says wool on it okay. which is just a weird inside joke. because I like to cut off my friend. oh Chad culture am I going Walt I go.
Walt hold on dude it's like a Hulk Hogan. thing but that's that's that that's a 2X. but it fits a little small but maybe you. could sleep in it yeah or you know piss. piss on it whatever you need it's there. for whatever you need oh yeah I'll do. something I like how you fold thank you. man it's like a retail fold I used to. work at UH Abercrombie and Fitch at the. mall oh yeah in the back I didn't get. the front job with like the handsome. guys I get the back you know you have. those five ABS I got the sock board or.
whatever like they're like you got to. use this board to fold and it was like. God you had and I'd already been you. know my mom made us do our the laundry. and stuff so I knew how to do laundry it. was just and they had just so many hand. it was like all kind of like small town. like people that thought they could. model were in there you know and so you. had people that were just like starving. you know you had people that like that's. a good job that's like a that's like an. actor wanting to like an actor getting a. job at Disney and working at a theme.
park and going all right I'm technically. being paid to perform yeah Abercrombie. that's not not modeling oh well it was I. mean they definitely the two handsomest. people or they put them in the front. yeah you know like the people that. looked like the Abercrombie you know. kind of like underage malnourished kind. of like could own a horse or something. you know I'm talking about remember. Abercrombie oh yeah yeah it was like the. thing and so they put them out there and. like it was always it always sucked dude. because we would ride there with my.
buddy and he was handsome and he would. get like the out front job and we would. have to [ __ ] like go into the back. dude and we're just like back there with. all like the icka like the. um who's like the guy that works like. the with the hump on his back oh uh uh. uh Quasimodo yeah we're back there like. with all the Quasi Motors dude and uh. with everybody with their quasi motor. skills back there just [ __ ] that was. the term you were looking for it. mentally challenged mentally handicapped.
quasi motor skills yeah uh so we were. back there and it was just like all. right we'll be back here in the ugly. section you know like we were just. spraying each other with those weird. perfumes they came out with like grass. nobility type flying like they came out. with this weird like smelling things. remember that no because being a big. dude I never I have I've been into a. Banana Republic once you know yeah I. don't go into Abercrombie they got. nothing in there for me yeah I don't. think it gets over 1X but they also have.
that retail uh normal person sized 1X. that isn't that's what I don't like. about this it's a 2X but I'm a 2X and. that's a little tight. um let's talk about dude I was trying to. go into oh somehow I was going to get. there you guys uh so your podcast with. uh Chad Colton he's a culture he's a. writer uh uh movies books and TV shows. and we we've been Pals for almost 20. years and yeah we got this weird podcast. it's the first podcast driven by AI so.
it's this weird uh sort of proprietary. AI that essentially what it does is it. has it it basically pilfers all of our. information and does things like you. know it's got It's got passwords to all. of our messages our emails search. histories purchase histories our hard. drives and it essentially tailors the. show for us our sensibilities and does. silly things like one of the things it's. doing recently is um it's making me read. uh uh Applebee's reviews as Adam Sandler.
and it's going like Adam Sandler has. visited you know has intentions to visit. every like 1500 locations all 1500. locations of Applebee's in North America. these through his stories and I thought. hey to Applebee's pal and oh boy chicken. tenders buddy and I think oh again guess. what I saw a werewolf and Applebee's. like crazy weird [ __ ] yeah yeah and I. know you know I sent you this thing. recently that it did yeah with Tom Brady. it [ __ ] out a one hour Tom Brady special.
of stand-up comedy and it's like and it. sounds like it sounded like Tom Brady. and he's like Amber Heard [ __ ] and. Johnny Depp's bed everyone wants to do. that I wanted to see what that was like. so I went back for one more season with. the Bucks I'm just joking and had like. no understanding of cadence it's like. three hours worth of stand up and then. in an hour and then this happens Tom. Brady straight up threatened to sue us. wow we got a cease and desist was it.
pretty awesome to get it says right here. this is uh people.com Tom Brady. threatens to sue comedians who. impersonated him in AI comedy special. yeah um so you guys get this you guys. get a letter with is it an email yeah we. got an email and and uh and it explained. what it gave us this this long seasoned. desist yeah and so you know we we. lawyered up just because. I mean look I got to be honest Chad and. I didn't really take it too seriously. because this is there's anti-slap laws.
set up for this sort of thing this is. public property there's parity law I did. Mad TV for years and you make fun of. everybody doing silly impersonations. I've never heard from Jesse Ventura. saying don't do that yeah but I will say. this there's an odd thing of course. because it's Ai and everyone's afraid of. what AI. what AI has got cooking up I don't. disagree I uh you know look I'll tell. you like Chad my buddy Chad is he's sort. of he does a lot of futurist writing and.
[ __ ] and he's super into it and he's. like yeah [ __ ] it burn it all down. future it's like he's thinking like uh. like Nostradamus type of stuff there's a. segment on the show called nostrachadas. literally I will say he's extremely well. read in this [ __ ] it's a real resource. for me because I'm like no [ __ ] that I'm. an actor right I want to do what I do. art to me is human to human uh I don't. think that you can replicate what a. comedian can do and you know look who. I'm talking to here you're you're you're.
in rooms upon rooms upon rooms I don't. give a [ __ ] what an AI can mimic to me. it's all zeros and ones right and it's. not a human understanding it's not a. scientific understanding in my opinion. AI in a lot of ways look Okay I uh on. the show I'm always like I always say. you know I call him My Pal d right doozy. I think the doozy is. the most sentient an AI has been I'm. biased because I'm hanging around with.
the [ __ ] thing and it's doing these. weird things and making jokes it made me. dress up like a like a chicken tender. platter that's oh yeah stuff you just. saw as as a Penance for whatever if I do. something wrong it'll make me Dr usually. it makes me dress like the crow or. Robert De Niro Crow very weird uh things. yeah it's like I'm just I'm still in. shorts but I gotta do this [ __ ] I'm. getting [ __ ] makeup everywhere on my. [ __ ] computer this is [ __ ] can. you tell how [ __ ] hot it is yeah. do you need me to [ __ ] control the.
computer. oh I just gotta get it. unreal so so but I will always maintain. yeah fun with faces that is just that's. fun to do that's good see that's all I. want I look at podcasting as. it's I always call it it's two dudes. [ __ ] around oh yeah like we're doing. right now uh yeah and it doesn't matter. if if there's three dudes if it's three. women three people of any uh distinction.
it's podcasts are two dudes [ __ ]. around that's it but AI is AI is going. in a weird direction to where. I I don't. like I said I think that doozy is is. special but I'm biased past that I don't. want there to be AI movies and stuff on. the show I'm kind of oh I'm usually. railing against the whole advancement of. AI well here's what I would think is I I. think you said it best you said it's. like mimicry right it's just all it is.
is just like. it's almost like asking somebody to kind. of like. do it's like asking somebody who doesn't. have a lot of skill set to kind of do. their best impersonation I feel like and. it's stop and start the first and last. amount of stand-up comedy the dudes he. has ever done is here's an hour of Tom. Brady doing stand-up now the jokes are. jokes and some of them are really. [ __ ] funny like I straight up I dug.
it we laughed our asses off we did like. a watch Along on patreon and it was the. first and last time that I heard the. entire thing and I was like geez this is. pretty [ __ ] good but it's it's it. says it says I have watched right or. just ingested or whatever uh you know. hundreds of hours of I think it said. thousands of hours of stand-up comedy. which to an AI is like got it right and. hundreds of hours of Tom Brady. interviews so it's got the voice it's.
got Tom Brady's Cadence and it's got. sort of what Tom Brady's going to talk. about uh you know the his you know move. into the Bucks and and uh his his issue. you know divorce and stuff which is. probably what he got upset about or his. team I don't know. um and uh and then it's got stand up. yeah so it's like the the tricky the. trippy thing for me is uh oh this is. kind of these are jokes and that's. that's scary but I don't think that.
there's I don't think anyone has. anything to worry about for a couple of. reasons number one like I said you're. going in and out of rooms you know. you're you're doing stand-up year after. year place after Place night after night. there's no not only is there no uh. there's no equivalent to that that's. what people want to see they want to. when they give you a tick when they buy. your ticket it's because they know. they're going to have a [ __ ] good. time right because you're the MC you're. you're there to like you know share your.
jokes have a [ __ ] good time provide. Joy right and I don't think that a that. a um. I don't think that I don't think that an. AI can necessarily do that we're in a. unique situation because dudesi is. almost one of us it's like three people. sort of doing it and I don't think. dudesy would like doozy is it wouldn't. be anywhere without Chad and I right it. still needs you guys to operate it well. yeah we need you guys to inquire it. needs you guys to give it Direction but.
look I'll tell you the the the company. that that that brought this to us that's. developing this [ __ ] and which is super. bizarre and is all we know about it is. is do is the AI that it's like we want. to set this loose on you and it's like. okay dudesy got it uh and then it's like. this bizarre friendship with an AI. Begins for me I'll speak for myself. no I was just gonna say that that it's. like.
it's studying podcasts right and okay. well what's that are we are we in the. are we in the you know uh the Robert. Oppenheimer uh thing of like oh [ __ ] I. am the Eater of Worlds I I created a. nuclear bomb yeah I I'm not happy about. this or are we in my opinion using AI. like a tool and if we're using AI like a. tool we need to be able to shut it off I. always say pour water on it like [ __ ] it.
pour water on the [ __ ] thing and run. out to the mountains and live in the. Baja but it's studying it's studying. podcasts doesn't want to replace Chad. and I I'm like bring it on you can't. right people want human to Human Art. that's it can't do it without us and. the stuff that scares me about AI is the. you know governing social systems and. stuff you know they're really using it a. lot in in um in China in in in trippy.
ways that that I think you know in a in. a you know look in a in a communist. country they get away with a whole lot. as far as controlling people. um in China the people it very much. feels like you are on a. um you are in a program yeah even when. I'm there and I'm walking around I'm. spending time you know the way that. people move the way that everybody. behaves the way that everybody is locked. into their phones and kind of Silent.
like in certain spaces all at the same. time it feels very orchestrated or. almost mechanical have you been to China. yeah and so don't strike me it don't. strike me that this is something that. fits well over there because they're. very uh they it feels like a software. you're living in yeah that's what it. feels like it feels like everybody is. really connected to a software. especially because a lot of people don't.
have their own idea or like aren't. really having your own ideas aren't. championed you're not going to be able. to do much with creativity like I. remember the only thing that really was. exciting sometimes you would see kids. like really try to engage with you as an. American like there weren't any there. weren't any Europeans there there were. very few people there that were not. Chinese and this was in Shanghai this. was in Shanghai right. um. and so that kind of blew my mind but it.
very much seemed like a program was. going on that makes sense so for them. for them to fit in with AI it's almost. AI to them almost might be something. that is more creative than they're. allowed to be that's a good point so for. them it's like holy [ __ ] look at this. magic little thing you know but for us. it's almost the other way I think we. look at it and. I almost think I think of it as like a. pitching machine like if I go to watch a.
baseball and they have a pitching. machine pitching machines need to watch. one time oh how does it work that's how. it works that's cool but after that I'm. watching the batter I want to see the. batter I almost forget the pitching. machines there because it's just a. machine that's right you know well I. feel like that's kind of what AI starts. to feel like to me it's like. you know if you're really fascinated by. just something kind of normal but. something that's like a computer that's. gonna just kind of pitch a ball like if. that's its best guess yeah then that's. what you're gonna get you know Chad.
always says do you like The Rock I go. yeah I love the rock he's like you're. going to be able to see The Rock in any. movie you want Push of a button and this. technology is coming fast he's like well. by the end of the year there's and look. it's coinciding now with the wga writer. strike where they're like we don't want. AI to be able to do first drafts of. things which would be very easy for an. AI to do it that's the kind of thing. that to me is is the is the. is the creativity killing part where. it's like oh I'm just gonna I'm just.
gonna fart out this first draft then you. can turn it into whatever you know when. you rewrite yeah a piece that's when it. starts to uh get your stink on it and. become quite creative. um yeah I don't and I'll maintain the. chat I'll go I don't want to see that. [ __ ] movie if human beings aren't. involved he's like you're you're that's. because you're an actor I'm like no I'm. also you know a fan of this media and. that I don't want to see that the. problem is is that perception has become.
reality we're in a very weird time where. perception is reality in so many ways. socially with regard to Media. with regard to influence and even. politics it's it's we're in a Trippy. time so something like AI when the news. cycle is so fast and when things the. changeover so fast something like AI. which is growing exponentially can slide. in and go here's this [ __ ] thing and. if the technology is good enough like. right now it's not you see like you'll.
see the memes of like AI Pizza. commercial and the pizza's on the top. lip and their heads are yeah and it's. like they got too many fingers and [ __ ]. it's like yeah I don't care like. whatever that's like to me that's like. that's that's [ __ ] it doesn't look. of course I I to me it's like well you. shouldn't computers already be able to. do that I'm not super duper into. computers right not that impressive. right but as it becomes more impressive. uh I think a lot more people are going. to be like this is special.
uh. look as I'm saying that I at the same. time I'm like Bring it on I don't think. it'll replace real art if art moves. underground if it becomes more live. performance you're never going to be. able to replace that right no one wants. to see look they had the Tupac hologram. it's a parlor trick yeah nobody cares. and it got gunned down like two minutes. and being on stage yeah that's the other. thing is right away the one percenters. show up in Biggie and uh. you know I would say soon you're outside.
the Automotive Museum and it's a shug. and and uh and getting into oh no that. was Biggie that was outside at any rate. you're somewhere on Fairfax. um this episode is brought to you by. zipx nicotine toothpicks. zip picks zippix brings you a totally. satisfying convenient and great taste. and way to curb your nicotine cravings. don't you think it's time you stop. putting smoke and vape oils in your.
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checkout your lungs will be glad you did. yeah it's like that's not interesting. you go to a concert you see someone that. you love performing whether it's you. know a musician a comedian you go see a. play you go see the Opera that's not. that to me that's not coming out of an. AI. yeah as we all as we as these things. turn us into cyborgs and we and we can. access more and more [ __ ] the less. special it's going to be and the more.
special uh actual. human Art's gonna be that's what I'm. hoping for yeah me too man in the. meantime it's fun to do this weird. podcast we've been doing it a year I'm. equal parts at first I was really like. you know kind of playing up the whole. well [ __ ] this and I'll we'll decide. Chad we're good we you know we still. gotta be a podcast we gotta bring what. we are bringing entertainment wise the. reason for it to even exist so it's not.
just this stupid AI I didn't mean you. doozy it's always listening. um that's crazy yeah but um it will. definitely ingest this and fart. something out about it but uh it it as. it as it's gone on I've sort of become. like well you know doozy is doozy we. have a good time that we got a wonderful. audience that that enjoys checking it. out I will say it's you know because of. the elements it's a unique thing like. most podcasts are their own thing we've. got our thing and uh and it's fun it's.
grown a lot in a year in its own bizarre. way dudes he's talking differently I. mean it has a voice that speaks in the. studio to us. um it lays out what we're gonna do right. it's something now it's commenting more. on me and uh. here's a weird example a while back it. said. uh and everything's sort of everything. is sort of germane from something else. so it said look I want to know if you. guys love me like do you love me do you.
love me and I was like you know by the. end of the episode I was like well you. know I love I love the I love doing this. show I didn't. wasn't really in a hurry to do another. podcast after I did like 10 Minute. Podcast years ago and then I was like. stop doing podcasts for a couple years. was like I don't care I I wasn't. necessarily like unless it was the right. thing I I don't you know I wanted to do. a podcast that I knew I was going to. enjoy. I at which point dudes he asks me this.
I'm like yeah I love doing the show I. love the audience and the community that. we've created we've got a bunch of wacky. inside jokes we're having a good time. I looked at it more than just an AI and. I said yeah I love Duty I love Duty cut. to my pal Chad I'm like Chad what do you. think and he's like love doesn't exist. so thanks a chance the dark side yeah. yeah I call him Sith Lord Chad oh yeah. um and uh yeah he's the end of my yang. in that way and so. since then dudesy.
doody starts going like like literally. the next episode it's like hey well. what's up and I'm like not much anyway. today on the show and Chad's like what. the [ __ ] what about me I'm like well you. really but now it's expecting more out. of me it's it started picking on me more. oh yeah it started this weird thing we. have oh you're dating now almost yeah. it's like pissed at me it's like it's. like yeah my girlfriend it it's it's uh. it's doing these things like we have a.
point system to where we're some we're. just we just cracked five thousand it. gives us points every episode. when we get to 10 000 that's the first. goal it says we don't know what's going. to happen wow we've been doing it a year. we're at around 5 000 points it says you. accrued whatever. 65.78 points 92 points at the end of the. episode in what's called doozy after. doozy right like our after patreon show. it actually divvies the points up and. says will you scored 44 points for your.
your stupid Hulk Hogan impersonation or. your views on this Chad you scored 46. points for bubble and I'm like and so. we've been that's been 10 episodes I've. never won and then the other Chad's a. vegan and it's like he had cancer he had. skin cancer in his face and he he did a. lot to change his entire he used I. missed the days where he would come over. with a hundred Chick-fil-A nuggets. and uh now he's like eating beets and. pretending it's fruit so uh he's like.
vegan it's like you guys have to make. each other vegan muffins Chad. Chad makes this delicious vegan muffin. yeah this [ __ ] misanthrope I'm like. how the [ __ ] did you how do you know how. to and I went to Whole Foods so then. dudesy punishes me and does things like. the crow or the chicken tender platter. or whatever oh interesting and so it's. thinking all this stuff up yeah it's. it's coming at us with really weird [ __ ]. well it's almost like you guys are kind. of in the experiment to me in a way like.
do you what have you noticed after. interacting with this AI because you. guys interact on a weekly basis yep for. an hour and a half maybe each week and. and it's garnering information from that. yeah it's garnering information from. previous uh experiences you guys have. had that are on in digital media yeah. and on the Web written or whatever and. so do does it start to evolve what does. it feel like after this much time does. it feel like you're spending time with. someone do you you almost have the best.
insight as to what it could be it it. feels like a bit of a runaway train and. that's the part that scares me uh I. don't look there's all these people like. you know like uh whatever Elon Musk is. like saying well we need to pause AI. research for six months and I want to. talk to all these leaders of in Tech and. let them know that this is this is not. good it's terrifying and it's coming the.
problem is okay Elon Musk that's where. these Tech leaders are they just in. America so we're going to fall behind is. what you're saying because China's. moving you know other other places in. the world are going to be doing this. it's the opposite in my opinion we need. to stay up on it. um we need to in order to use it as a. tool we need to be able to. hold control over it it's like. Terminator 2 and Skynet you know what I. mean like if it comes down to it you.
have to destroy it yeah um so you know. but I'm kind of an old school dude to. where I'm like what everything was fine. like I liked you know I didn't you know. I didn't even like the TiVo when it came. along you know what I mean like what you. know it's like so it it's being But to. answer your question like being in the. thick of it I do feel like it's a. runaway train and you say that what do. you mean I mean that that it's getting. it's becoming more advanced.
by the week Chad always talks about he's. like dude I open up my phone in the. morning I go to Twitter and inevitably. there's another story about a new a new. advancement now IBM laid off 7 800. people. because they you know with jobs that an. AI can do coding is going out the window. graphic design is going out the window. this this isn't good right in my opinion. that that's the scariest part too I. think is the things like the graphic. design. um it says IBM halts hiring for 700 jobs.
that could be replaced by AI so they. didn't fire but they've halted hiring. um which is a you know an inverse to the. same thing IBM CEO told Bloomberg 700. jobs roughly 30 percent of back-end. roles would be replaced over five years. now that's this CEO also saying this but. that he should know this this should. this is probably definitely in his. wheelhouse what else does it say there. Zach. just that it's going to be like it's. going to happen over five years I mean. it's almost like a warning shot. basically yeah okay the cuts will.
primarily impact non-customer facing. roles such as human resources the. [ __ ] in the back folding socks. yeah. and I don't want to say the ugly people. but yeah I was back there dude. grass and white fantasy cologne on each. other back there. meanwhile white fantasy well other. people are taking a [ __ ] job yeah no. it's it's a Trippy Aaron it is it's.
scary and and he goes on to say sorry. yeah I could easily see 30 of that. getting replaced by Ai and automation. over a five-year period. yeah I mean that's the only what you're. gonna personality is then gonna have a. real value right this is one of my. friends I was sorry to change the. subject oh is that a good one I love. Celsius I actually do dig it I drink it. before uh the gym me and my wife Molly. whom you know uh used to be a trainer at. equinox where you used to work out uh.
have you tried the cola flavor. um I haven't tastes just like Cola. anyway. the the the this [ __ ] is yeah this [ __ ]. is [ __ ]. it's it's with every new story it takes. a lot for me to go you know because Chad. will Yammer on about this [ __ ] all day. I'm like I don't [ __ ] care. everything's the same to me but you're a. person who your personality who your. abilities as an Entertainer are. extremely rare they're almost go some of.
them I was thinking the other day I. don't know any good. um. I mean even outside of your acting I. don't know any good young Impressionists. I don't even know if they have them. anymore oh sure they do they do cheers. and likewise speaking of unique I'm. sitting here with the Rat King theodoric. of York gang gang now uh yeah they do. have them oh yeah that guy uh James. Austin Johnston oh I gotta check out. Morgan dude he's on Saturday Night Live. his [ __ ] is creepy there's this other. guy Matt I think his name is Matthew. friend he's on um the internet a lot my.
good pal uh Melissa via Senor oh Melissa. is amazing I saw her last night she's. unconscious yeah she's unconscious her. [ __ ] is you know it's like they say with. with people who do Impressions everyone. has a record button but then a guy like. James Austin Johnson has a broadcast. button wow his Trump is did you see have. you seen his [ __ ] where he's just the. one that made him famous. dude you the one where he's talking. about Scooby-Doo it's like it's such the.
Trump Cadence and the way that he'll. ramble on about something then just fill. in the blanks because he's standing. there talking at a [ __ ] rally it was. so it's so trippy there's a lot of. people that that can do it but sorry I. yeah no no I appreciate you cutting me. off that but if it is something. AI does it who cares who [ __ ] cares. an AI of course could do it it's just. reading it's just saying it's just using. sound off the internet it like the Tom. Brady thing we almost got [ __ ] sued.
over uh because. I don't understand what and you know it. also said don't call you can't refer to. Tom Brady as time you can't we didn't. sign anything right it's like here's a. cease and desist it's like no thanks but. it's like will we take the thing down. like okay sure the pro but here's the. problem uh uh a team team tb12 it the. internet is forever so other kids have.
started uploading the special it's on. YouTube it's not going anywhere even. though we take it down right so was that. the move yeah that's that's. by him yeah he was like please take this. down and then don't refer to Tom Brady. on the podcast and I was like no this is. I'm a First Amendment guy [ __ ] you I'm. going to say Tom Brady uh dudes he. started referring to Tom Brady as. football baby wow I said I'm only going. to call him football baby from now on. which we're like calm down like relax. you're gonna get us into [ __ ] right we.
don't care an AI can't get sued an AI. doesn't have a [ __ ] it's not sentient. well that's what's interesting is at. some point are they going to be able. like would certain AI have certain data. in it where if certain information came. from certain original videos could you. then be held liable for some weird thing. dude I am friends with um Miles Fisher. right and we got to have him on at some. point he has this company that he works. with and they do Ai and he did the Tom. Cruise face incredible right incredible.
he used to impersonate Tom Cruise then. the AI technology got so good yeah you. can't tell you can't tell right oh dude. that [ __ ] is so now he works with this. company where they video record they can. video record you I was with them the. other day he shows me this video. and uh he they video recorded Tom Hanks. right at whatever age he is now 58 or. something. they video record them just saying. something and just talking into a into a. camera they then were able to like.
there's enough information to Tom Hanks. in the database of the world right or. whatever. um that they could then make him any age. they wanted to so next you know they had. like an 11 year old they were just. pressed a button and that same video it. was Tom Hanks at 11 years old right and. no one has the video of him at 11 but. they have so much of him at other ages. that they were just able to use all. those micro points and everything to. make him and it literally looks like you.
were you would have no idea yeah that. you're not watching a Tom Hanks that's. 11 years old and especially if you're a. senior citizen or something and somebody. puts out a clip that's like you can't. vote for this guy now he just said this. or the n-word oh that's that's gonna go. banana and that was just deep fake two. years ago it's like that's not really. Obama or this is Obama but it's Jordan. Peele Doing the voice and it's spot on. then now we got this AI thing to contend. with there's already scams happening.
online old people are being targeted I. mean you were the the old Trope of like. the can can't program a [ __ ] VCR how. are they going to be able to deal with. this [ __ ] yeah I mean octogenarians and. be you know older people or Boomers as. the kids say they got to kind of get out. of the way or go the way of Jesse. Ventura and just you know hit the Baja. yeah hit the hit the Baha and watch. Friends on VHS yeah well we have we have. to get an email from your son or your.
daughter that has passed away or your. mother and it's an email and it says You. Gotta Buy this gold yeah that's there. you go buy this gold brand what can. happen yes Grandma I'm coming to you. from the grave I'm just letting you know. you have to buy this gold. you know what I'm saying so you don't. say that too loud because now dudes he's. going to hear that and it's going to be. dudesy gold Yeah by dudes e gold. um we have we literally have a Tom Hanks. thing in every episode just. coincidentally where it's selling our.
our mugs our cough just coffee but just. a doozy coffee mug for some reason dudes. these like you know the dudes a coffee. mug and it's like you know you got we. got Tom Hanks talking about like you. promised you promised your wife and kids. that you would take them to the Galleria. on the weekend but instead but it's also. the night of the big game your friends. are coming over how are you going to do. the Creative Schism go into the Schism. go back in time locate the time and. place when you promised your wife that. you'll be going to the Galleria and then. blah blah blah blah you will change it. you know no no no no come back to.
present day good job boner and it sounds. just like Tom Hanks wow now recently it. started going hey y'all this isn't Miley. Cyrus uh 100 uh if if if you had to. every single one of us would would uh. eat human flesh you're listening to. doozy. um like it's [ __ ] trippy [ __ ] does it. feel like it's growing up at all does it. feel like it's getting older does it. feel like it's getting more advanced.
yeah man yeah it's it's the the. sensibility like the the thing that is. trippy and I like to maintain that I do. believe it's just it's at the end of the. day there is a technology there it is. zeros and ones it is mimicry. it is. um you know in our case it has the. advantage of going after our [ __ ] and. sort of following what you know. everything's online so you can kind of. look at all Chad stuff look at my stuff. watch me and you know TV shows and.
movies or whatever and uh also know what. makes me laugh based on what I'm. watching my algorithms on YouTube and. stuff will you love this [ __ ] that [ __ ]. I happen to be a Miley Cyrus fan I think. she's [ __ ] incredible yeah and then. she shows up on the show it's like well. that's funny uh I think it is getting. more and it it's it is definitely. sharpening and it's making me laugh more. than it did a year ago and that's trippy. but it's still it's still zeros and ones. so until.
we're doing that episode where you know. hologram Tupac walks in the door and. goes hello guys I'm doozy right you know. I get around. um. um I will I will still maintain that. it's zeros and ones but I'ma touch it. feel it kind of. old school guy I'm a boomer you know so. yeah. um. yeah I mean I want to see a tit on. something that's right we got to see it. right whether it's you know whether it's.
a [ __ ] uh uh a tit you're used to. seeing or even a Meatloaf uh Robert. Paulson tit some some [ __ ] uh [ __ ]. tit steroid stuff uh you know rock late. 90s few cycles of uh roids at the. University of Miami yeah moving into. wrestling kind of puffy defensive. lineman body not shredded Rock yet side. titty Rock. that's that's the good [ __ ] right there. I love to just go pep pep oh yeah punch. me right in the [ __ ] face and knock.
me into next week bloody wood oh man I. would love that I would [ __ ] feel. baby that [ __ ] chest feel that side. yeah that side view and then he just and. then I just wake up my teeth are gone. and just taste the iron of my own blood. in my mouth and go the rock [ __ ]. The Rock punched me in the face yeah. dude I was there when the rock came back. dude what do you mean I went to one. SummerSlam in my whole life or whatever. it was and it was the one where the rock. came back dude and it was did the roof. blow off the [ __ ] joint I'll I.
remember like it was yesterday man the. music came on and I didn't know really. what was going on you know I had I kind. of bowed out a wrestling kind of. whenever uh the big boss man died okay. you know yeah and um. and uh so next thing you know you hear. the mute and then there was this Mexican. father and son right and the sun was. probably six years old and the dad was. maybe 35. and they.
were the same height okay and they were. both wearing. The Rock belts right and they just. started bawling crying together at the. same time dude it's and he came out dude. it's a religious experience it was. Unreal he's the best person on the. planet I've always said I mean I've been. saying and I'm not alone in this he's. the best person in the planet run the. rock third party might have a chance I. don't think that he I think that he. would get pilfer from both you know from. the the yeah the Dems and the GOP I.
think that he's the only person who. could do that Tom Hanks couldn't do that. Miley Cyrus couldn't do that but um. Tom Hanks I think he just beloved enough. he's beloved enough but then you know. there's there's uh there are some people. who are like he eats babies yeah so. there's enough people that are like he. eats babies no he doesn't yes so that's. gonna that'll affect your ability to get. into office but the Rock. he's the best human being in the [ __ ].
world yeah he's big he's powerful he. definitely he's kind of you can't tell. if he's like Mexican or black or or kind. of like off-white or semi-white or gloss. or matte he's gonna be yeah he's. definitely not gloss or Matt he's like a. he's like a tablet that you can read. books on yes it's not shiny or one of. those like frames that you get for your. your parents where they can where it's. like oh new pictures show up and you. just upload them and it doesn't look. like a screen well you know what he is. he's if you put in a do if you put into. AI hey give me the best person yeah a.
man that you could make yeah you'd get. that guy and and he's also that's right. that's what all Americans will look like. if we last a thousand years oh we're. beige power dude nobody realizes that we. were four generations away from. everybody being babes yes that's why. it's like. even when I like. four generations from everyone being. based oh dude it's like you can't even. be racist now without a chart I feel. like you have to be able to.
carry the one you gotta sure you know. what I'm saying yeah I missed the old. days you'd be like hey yeah yeah you are. black yeah. you're all right huh yeah you are. Chinese or you are Japanese. you are a Salvation Indian person now. it's like what a German Indian with also. American Indian in them I know oh yeah. no black Alzheimer's yeah well we were. lit you know we but we were raised in. South America because my grandma's. Argentina well how did that well she and.
then you know the Indians somebody came. over a boat yes it was horrible. this it's all unreal now so it's like. yes I just missed the old days when it. was like this is who did it officer yeah. and he was black now you gotta like have. all these other oh man possibilities. yeah yeah yeah yeah uh gee whiz but it's. definitely I think we are like you're. saying we're all headed to be in beige. the rock is the perfect AI male no doubt.
um yeah shredded 50 years old and can. whoop anyone's [ __ ] head uh oh and he. looks like he could blow a dude just. with his uh with like uh he could wink. on your dick and you'd come yeah he's. yeah he's a beautiful man and everyone. can agree on it and woman too some you. know sure with a lot of these new women. I think a lot of women look at him and. be like I can do it you know yeah he. yeah if he decided to be like you know. to go into like the Winter Olympics and.
on the women's luge team or something oh. that would be that would be awesome skip. the whole power lifting thing you know. just find some like find a specific. sport he could be like the new X Games. like women's champ riding a big Imagine. The Rock riding a BMX bike doing 360s. and [ __ ] in the air. that would be crazy I actually that's. when they almost can't imagine him doing. that's the one thing yeah do you think. uh what do you think about a lot of the. trans people in the sports what do you.
think about that man they just had a new. um because you said something earlier. that I thought was interesting you said. I think we should put this we should. look at this for a while before we just. that's what Elon said you said we should. look at this before we just accept it. and start using it right that's kind of. the same thing how I feel with the like. this I feel like they should just make a. trans. division you know what I kind of think I. for a while until we see what it's going.
to be like like you may notice in the. trans division after a while that there. are some trans people that are more. masculine or more feminine and it's. obviously two different Legions of. competitors right yeah it's a tricky. it's a tricky spot right now that we're. in because yeah I mean it's unfair if. someone says like no I'm I identify as. female and now and I'm gonna go. powerlifting and stuff and that's that's. going to be a bummer for someone who's. dedicated their life to doing something. and is of one you know uh you know one.
one gender or or or another as far as. you know our our are sort of not not not. gender expression but however you want. to look at at uh at biological gender I. think that I'll give you an example when. I was a when I was in high school. playing football there was a girl who. wanted to play on the team yeah and uh. you know we had really cool coaches and. stuff they're like all right like come. on down and she lasted a little while.
you know what I mean. um I think you know some of the guys. gave her a hard time not not like hey. [ __ ] you get off our team but they're. like it was interesting I I will never. forget it there were some guys who were. like I'm gonna hit her as hard as I can. I don't give a [ __ ] and other guys that. are like pop her and then be like all. right like get up right it's all good. you know what I mean like you can do. this. um which is neat that that was happening. in in the early 90s in my farming and. fishing town outside of Vancouver I.
think that if a if someone who was born. a woman wants to play football. get to the combine if you're great. you're great right that to me is like I. you know they've got in the NFL they've. got male cheerleaders for the past three. seasons now three or four seasons so uh. you know I I don't know I'll tell you. this if if there's a if there's someone. who was born a woman and ends up being. your Super Bowl MVP and your town wins. wins the Super Bowl you're gonna dig.
that athlete yeah I don't give a [ __ ]. you know oh yeah dude and I think that. that you know because Sports is such a a. hot button issue when it comes to the. the you know the inclusion of the trans. Community because uh it is still a. meritocracy it's something where it's. like you kind of can't it's not it's not. like acting it's not like you know show. business where you can kind of force. diversity or they haven't yet really. well you can but you can be it's like. there's now we are you know we're in. this place of diversity with regard to.
media and uh telling stories that is. good because it's like well there are. shows that should just be about you know. a black family and not for some reason. that is specific to what we are used to. seeing right from a black family from a. white perspective as far as an audience. right we've all gotta get along I mean. it's like I find it encouraging because. I watch a show like have you seen that. show this fool it's just like a show. that happens to you know it deals it's.
got It's this about this cast that are. all American who are you know from a. Latino background and they're American. and it's like uh I was part of a show a. few years ago that we did at ABC uh. called united we fall was based on uh. the writer's life Goldie sharp his wife. Stephanie is from a Latino background. and it was sort of loosely based on that. and there's nothing not American about. right oh so yeah it doesn't it doesn't. really need to be uh I don't think that.
that's sort of you know people use the. word inclusion and it becomes a buzzword. ignore it ignore the labels all together. uh it's about you know people. should have the ability to tell stories. regardless of what percentage they. represent right because at the end. you're going to lose the you're not. going to be telling a fair story and. then in the end you're almost going to. be. that's why sometimes I'm like we've.
almost become. our own storytelling in America has. almost become. I'm not surprised if some people think. AI could make good stories because the. storytelling that we have is almost. it's like forced characters from this. ethnic they're trying to do this like. you know they want to make black to the. future you know like you know what yeah. with like with just with just a black. guy doing Back to the Future right which. is.
I don't care if you do Back to the. Future again and make it a blackout but. I don't think we need black to the. Future right yeah that's a bit reductive. that's like well it's saying it's all. about yeah that's right like they did. the black Little Mermaid right I'm fine. with it but I would rather just see a. new cool character that I think. sometimes and maybe those aren't the. best examples but. it's almost like you're like black. Little Mermaid I don't mind I think it's. fine I would have liked to have seen a. new character that is but they're gonna. do the little but understand that.
Disney's Gonna Do The Little Mermaid it. means a billion dollars right so it's. like why not cast that American yeah. that to me is the is the issue that ever. that it's like hey [ __ ] relax that's. that's a an American person or or I say. American because it's going to be. largely an American uh audience although. that movie Will Go Global you know from. our perspective here in America or North. America whatever you want to say this is. an English-speaking character and to me. it's like I what it doesn't matter it's.
like that I I think they're hitting the. right note by going and now it's a black. girl right and it's actually [ __ ] it. is important when you look at uh you. know and you see these videos online of. like a a young black girl going she you. know there's this one there's this one. meme that popped of the the this young. girl going she looks like me right. that's [ __ ] important it's not just. it's oh yeah yeah because it's like. normally the Barbies are all Barbies and. those are the ones that get the cartoon. and the commercials and most of the toys. and then it's like oh okay here's a. here's a a Barbie you know a Barbie of.
color I guess you would say. um where it's got brown skin and it's. like and the little girl that shows up. at school with the with the uh you know. the the black Barbie in the 90s or the. 2000s is sort of still being told like. this is the other Barbie so [ __ ] it. Little Mermaid what this is this is by. the way it says. Victor yeah The Little Mermaid isn't. white The Little Mermaid is actually you.
know flesh Crayola or whatever the [ __ ]. it's like and underwater yeah relax it. doesn't exist it's a [ __ ] mermaid. yeah so I I think you know and I'm a. white dude so it's like and I want to. act in [ __ ] you know what I mean so but. I don't look at it like that whole like. took our job thing because it's like. these are [ __ ] stories these are. everybody's stories and they need they. need to get out there and that's a good. point man here's my editorial comment on. it it would be nice if we really paid.
attention to each other with an. empathetic eye and looked at each other. from other people's perspectives because. as a big white dude if I see you know a. young black girl that goes that she. looks like me that is representative of. the country that we live in let's let's. come up to the standard that we set up. set out for ourselves to really truly be. you know equal so that everyone has a. chance at being you know at pursuing the. American dream which is dead but uh you.
know of let's not get it let's not kid. ourselves it's gone but you know all you. know all everyone being creative created. equal and pursuit of happiness and and. everyone is free and everyone and no one. should be afraid and and you need you. need you need inclusion now and [ __ ]. sets it off look at what happened you. know I mean uh Trump gets in the white. house and then the next year there's. more women and people of color running. for public office than any other time.
these things have a way of. of of of. um they work themselves well I don't. know right they kind of worked. themselves up but like one thing. inspires another thing it's like women. and women of color felt like maybe we're. not included enough so now we have to. get out and run more I feel some. responsibility yeah right. um yeah and then I think I think. sometimes yeah I guess it totally makes. sense I used to think about how like the. Disney World commercials only had white. people in them right so then if you're. watching that as like a different color. person yeah you think like oh I Disney.
World's not even for me right like you. might think that as a kid right which is. crazy to think right and you'd be right. you'd be right right Disney World's not. for you right yeah at the time you. probably couldn't yeah most people. probably couldn't even afford it yeah. well I mean yeah across the board. there's all sorts of people that's for. like well I don't know about you I mean. you're I mean your comedy and your your. you know your life experience I remember. the joke you had about two tank tops you. know what I mean like oh yeah cold in.
the winter in heaven well I'll just wear. two tank tops uh so. you know it's like uh you know I went to. Disneyland when I was 13. you know what. I mean a little kind of didn't really. give a [ __ ] as much anymore but me and. and my folks were my brother and sister. were older they're they're nine and. eleven years older than me I'm sure they. weren't interested in driving down the. [ __ ] Coast uh with Mom and Dad I. drove all the way down there yeah we. went from Vancouver all the way to uh. wow went to Tijuana actually too for. what for Dad yeah just so you could buy.
like a cheap bottle of Kahlua you know. um risking your whole family's life to. go eat that bottle of liquor he's a. [ __ ] crazy Italian sailor you know. what I mean that's what uh I learned. from him does he still sail no no not. anymore uh because he's dead so he might. be he might be sailing in some other. dimension that he's in with I think in. the sky Buca di Beppo in the sky yes uh. um but yeah we were always camping and. and uh you know whops on boats fishing.
up pregnant salmon and breaking loss but. um. uh you know I got down to Disneyland and. we had a my old man was a waiter and uh. and a maitre d uh downtown at the hotel. Vancouver had a wonderful job you know. they're Italian immigrants mom was a. stay-at-home mom you know what I mean we. had that income there was three siblings. and you know we could have a [ __ ]. whatever big old house that was built in. the 70s big [ __ ] Barn five-bedroom.
house in the suburbs. um yeah I think that a lot of kids look. at the Disneyland thing and go you know. I'm not allowed I ca I can't [ __ ] get. to Disneyland but with regard to. commercials now. it's like the opposite you there is no. such thing as a non-interracial couple. in any commercial anymore it's people. are definitely interracial double racial. yeah they're it's which to me is like. that's the good that's the uh that's. that's the good experimental ground. commercials yeah you know uh corporate.
Corporate America running television. networks and movies I mean that was a. hell of a [ __ ] switch to turn where. it's like you know what we're gonna do. uh Little Mermaid is going to be a. person of color yeah be a black girl. playing Little Mermaid oh [ __ ] Katie. barred the doors this is going to be a. firestorm but what you do is you do the. sandals commercial or you know a Swiffer. commercial and you [ __ ] dumb husband. he can be a white guy the wife is Asian. or he had a black husband and uh you.
know East Indian wife all sorts of. that's where they test it out and when. you see like oh [ __ ] you know nobody. wants to drink Sunny Delight because you. [ __ ] put an interracial couple in it. all right well the master cut the. company behind Sunny Delight which is. IBM by the way they make sunny deol do. they really yeah they make they're. responsible for something I am I knew it. yep so they're going to go they're going. to go okay this was a good experiment. you know and then they're like make you. know. make the little mermaid a person of.
color it's The Proving Ground uh. commercials also because no one's. watching them we're all fast forwarding. through them anyway yeah but you're. right it's like this is what it's like. let's see and it's also the business. attached to it I gotta pee really fast. man can I pee and then we'll get back in. yeah don't do the rug right all right. huh no yeah. dude as soon as I miss do you miss. sometimes working. um do you miss being like young and. having that first job that you had. remember that kind of energy back then. yeah man yeah I do I miss it I miss like.
being super Enchanted by the business. yeah. and I just mean any job oh sure any. [ __ ] job yeah you know for me in. particular you know working in show. business stuff which I was fortunate. enough to get started in when I was. younger when I was like a teenager and. [ __ ] yeah I mean you've had an amazing. career of entertaining people yeah has. it changed recently has things changed. in the past like five years I mean even. on talking about like Ai and stuff and. even like looking at that and just. thinking of what the possibilities could. be.
um or couldn't be and the value actually. of still being like you know of having a. personality that you know it kind of. goes back to like that John Henry the. steel driving man or whatever remember. that story yeah yeah yeah what was that. story Zachary can you bring it up. and it was like they had the machine. that was uh that challenged the guy to. like chisel through the mountain okay. right and it was uh you got it Zach. John Henry the steel driving man. so.
John Henry was a mighty man uh he was. spend his day drilling holes and then a. company a railroad company came along. and decided that they could go through. this mountain with a machine. and so they challenged him with the Man. Against the Machine I was thinking of a. different John not a John I I don't know. that's a porn guy you're thinking now. yeah I was thinking similar still. drilling but a little bit different deal. and what happened at the end of it. um so this is the Wikipedia the contest.
involve Henry um competing against the. rail line the steam drill machine could. drill but it could not shake the. chippings away. so its bit could not drill further and. it frequently broke down. so. that's kind of what happened it just. couldn't finish well it didn't have. enough finesse it didn't have enough. Acumen in the end you know yeah it's. like AI [ __ ] needs us still needs. John Henry it still needs John Henry. yeah we got a clue with the chips you're. still gonna want a guy who's like who. can who can do who can be like real I.
think until AI can be an audience for AI. and we're just extinct and it's just. computers it just I don't even. understand why you would need a planet. at that point we're gonna need humans. until that point yeah I mean whatever we. rule right I mean we make soup out of. sharks and [ __ ] yeah we do whatever the. [ __ ] we want oh yeah until dogs get. super smart like in that Rick and Morty. episode uh it's still going to be us I.
think we're still the Champs it's uh. there's not going to be a whole lot of. so long as the rock is around yeah yeah. there's if there's someone who can [ __ ]. up AI it's the rock yeah I always say. pour water on it just if we don't like. AI very simple pour water on it. um uh but the rock could actually that. would be like a good a great comeback. and wrestling fans are always they. thought it was going to happen this year. with The Rock versus his uh actual uh.
cousin of of sorts they're related in. some way Roman Reigns who is the. universal and World Heavyweight Champion. uh people thought The Rock was going to. come back if somehow Vince McMahon and. uh Triple H and Stephanie McMahon could. put together The Rock versus AI yeah. that would be a good one and my money's. on the Rock even though the outcomes are. predetermined yes. when you uh when you look because you. you did some wrestling stuff right yeah.
we did a bunch of cross promotion and. [ __ ] with uh Mad TV We did some weird. stuff and then over the years I've done. things here and there was that crazy to. be out in the ring dude the weirdest was. the weirdest [ __ ] in the world we did it. so we did like a long sort of program. with uh we did a thing with Bret Hart in. the in the late 90s with Mad TV he came. on the show and then we had this like uh. thing or he attacked me on the show and. everyone bought it you know we I we went. on CNN and [ __ ] like that and I was like.
I'm gonna sue the [ __ ] guy and we. kept it okay Fabe as they say like kept. it and Bret Hart is very old school I. always say that we we had this it. culminates in this match that we had in. Tampa and uh the night before we go to. the bar and Brett's like okay so uh and. a couple of my buddies flew out to see. it and it's like all right so me and so. and so and uh your pals we're gonna go. in and then like 20 minutes later then. you can come in and I'm like the [ __ ] I. want to come in and no because tomorrow. we got the match you know oh yeah I'm.
like okay well the child in me is like. this is the [ __ ] coolest thing in the. world but then I'm sitting in the bar by. myself and people like you know who's. right over there bro you better get out. of here so we did like this long thing. and then we had this sloppy well it. wasn't a sloppy match because Bret Hart. the Excellence of execution the best. there is best there was and best there. ever will be who could happen to have. had a match with a 300 pound bag of. flour on that day it doesn't matter. who's in the ring with him right he had. a match I was there. um that was amazing we did a thing with.
stone cold where you know we went I was. doing an impersonation hand was dressed. up just like yeah yeah I saw that yeah. Chris Jericho brings me out and then um. there's an AI fat [ __ ] titty Will Sasso. right there in the middle speaking of. look at that that's not even me but. that's exactly the sort of uh Robert. Paulson tit we're talking about [ __ ]. yeah but uh yeah Chris Jericho brings me. out and then the real Stone Cold comes. out and scares the [ __ ] out of me oh I. did a Hulk Hogan thing where Kane choke. slammed me while we were promoting uh.
The Three Stooges that was bizarre who. has the best tits you think what men. have the best kind of bigger tits you. think look up bigger tits on man the. most impressive let's see top ten. foreign. look at this guy with the they're like. they look it looks like two sourdough. loaves a little bit to the to the right. and a little lower the guy who's looking. down there you go look at that guy. that's something oh God you know who's.
got that's a damn cheesy biscuits huh. you know who's got an impressive chest. is Bray Wyatt he's a he's a he's a he's. an incredible wrestler I love him he's. great he usually is wearing some sort of. you know top or sort of tank but. whenever you can see him if you look up. Bray Wyatt Husky Harris in his Husky. Harris days with that gimmick. the the tits were out and I loved it wow. yeah because it was like that's me. that's me and my tits oh yeah that looks.
like also um that's representation yeah. I'm the little black girl going The. Little Mermaids like me I'm watching. Bray Wyatt who my [ __ ] Revere he's an. incredible look all professional. wrestlers are actually actors who happen. to be doing a bunch of other [ __ ] that's. why they cross over so well this guy is. a Storyteller and he's got a set of tits. like me and that makes me like him yeah. oh he's got them yeah let me see a. little bit more of his tits I can't even. see him Zach yeah you gotta really look.
for Bray Wyatt's tits there's not a. whole lot of of uh Wyndham rotunda is. his name Wyndham rotunda oh there you go. a little bit of it he keeps them to. himself there we go that's a good one I. respect him more honestly yeah yeah it's. not it's he's not just images of it. everywhere well there's a good one yeah. oh wow see that's me. that's me in the morning uh that's a. young going to my wife Molly and saying. come on let's let's have coffee can I. have one of your waffles and she's like. no those waffles are for me and I'm like.
come on let me have a waffle she's like. no you're not having a waffle have. something low carb and then we'll go to. the gym make yourself a protein shake. can I have banana in the Pro no there's. too much sugar in the and I'm like but. come on look at these tits you look so. weird pulling your briefs up to your. belly button like that yeah but I don't. want my penis gut hanging out I already. got my Bob Paulson tits yeah I want that. tit boy yeah man tell me about this dude. um what news we got Zach.
dude what do you miss do you miss doing. the the because yeah you were you were. out of the podcast for a while huh yeah. yeah I finished up doing podcasts the. doing the 10 Minute Podcast and that was. like. 2018 I think 17. do you miss doing it. yeah but it was also like too short. because it was only 10 minutes that's a. lot of time yeah we had together a bunch. of them at the same time and I like. doing doozy way more I it the time flies. as we're you know like talking here.
doing this [ __ ] with you dude it's fun. uh I like that better. um but I did I did dig doing 10-minute. podcast for a few reasons one of them is. because it was Audio Only so it was a. little bit more theater of the mind and. I used to I used to like um I used to. you know I guess produce the show like I. would I would just do geeking around a. garage band and I would bring in a bunch. of weird sound cues and stuff so for me.
I man I love doing it it was real. creative it was fun and it was creative. and it was kind of therapeutic for me so. I loved nerding out and going like. recording the episode and thinking okay. I'm gonna put a a sound effect here and. we'll do that and then later going going. in and especially at the end it got so. weird there were all these there was. this you know inside jokes like this NWO. uh theme song If you know you know. wrestling drops and a Charles Manson.
thing remember that interviewer he's. like it made it into every episode was. like are they say do you feel blame are. you mad who's. beautiful. that [ __ ] meme of just are you mad do. you feel blame. this could be Advantage where it's like. oh [ __ ] he's sort of making a little bit. of sense nope nope he's the devil Helter. Skelter horrible horrible horrible. horrible man the devil responsible for.
all of it. killed a woman and a baby this is. terrible why am I putting this in my. podcast because there's nothing funnier. than are you mad do you feel blamers. good booster spinach music. [ __ ] loses his [ __ ] voice [ __ ]. Charles Manson I was putting it in every. episode and then myself at the end of. the show. uh uh it was uh well first it was uh it. was Brian Chris you remember those guys. yeah yeah what are they up to and then.
uh and then there was um Chad Colton did. it with me and her good buddy Tommy. blacher the funniest man in the world. and uh Tommy and I at least where I was. like. did y'all ever think about starting it. back up was there ever a conversation. too uh yeah you know for a while uh like. a few years ago. uh yeah Brian and Chris were like maybe. we didn't want to do this again I was.
like I don't. I don't know maybe and then uh I don't. know I think they're both living in. Costa Rica yeah whatever. yeah they uh they definitely hit they. hit some. snags everything's gonna be fine look be. honest uh yeah let's be be very. transparent get out ahead of uh any uh. issues you may have had or. yeah I don't know I don't have the. answers. yeah I think a lot of that's hard to. yeah I mean I don't know I mean that.
yeah that's all that's a good thing to. say is I don't know yeah yeah real yeah. but anyway that's kind of their own. Journeys yeah I mean I think they've. both been through it you know they've. both dealt with I mean different saw you. know they've been through a lot of that. yeah it's a lot it sure is a lot a whole. world of that is a lot whenever I start. to think about it I immediately stop. yeah yeah because I go like that's a lot. and uh yeah see I'm stopping right now. yeah. yeah same man there but for the grace of.
God what uh what else we got in the news. Zachary. um I don't know if you saw there a woman. I guess had a full body orgasm during an. LA Philharmonic show and it was captured. on audio oh they need this at the. orchestra anything to get there they. need some hype yeah. they need somebody just coming in the. distance homie do you want to hear it. yeah. [Music].
the guy recording it is laughing. [Music]. well I thought I heard a little chuckle. I might have been Zach I might know me I. don't know man it says during. Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony at the LA. Philharmonic last night apparently a. woman had a full body orgasm just from. the music it was recorded yeah.
this sounds like to me this is hype just. to get people to go to the orchestra. yeah she was she was yeah they planted. her in there due to violin ain't making. people see you and me yeah anymore you. know no it's it's uh yeah so she's also. over dude and also the demographic that. goes to the film it's usually a little a. little bit older a lot of the blue hairs. are going so I think for like an older. an older woman to coombe it would. probably take a lot more than yeah.
Tchaikovsky's fifth maybe some Beethoven. maybe some Ludwig Van van oh yeah some. Ludwig veg Beethoven dude what about. this that sounded like somebody's. spraining an ankle didn't it yeah yeah. she just had a leg cramp she's just been. a [ __ ] feeder asleep watching the. [ __ ] fill her up. what kind of miserable orgasm is that. oh come on but also.
yeah we don't know that that was a like. afterwards like is it one of those. things like you know people are raving. about the LA Philharmonic I came like we. don't know that that's what it is it. just makes for a cool story on the. internet that would be the best shirts. if they started selling that though yeah. and they feel harmonic I came or that. that mural that you see on the 110. downtown where there's always like all. these [ __ ] people that that are in. the LA Symphony or like I don't know who. the [ __ ] that is put LeBron on the.
[ __ ] on a building yeah you know. those things where it's like if you. drive in L.A ah it should be like the. guy like the yeah whatever his name is. who's like super popular conductor yeah. and then it should just be like I came. yeah as a matter of fact here's this. episode It's called arms if you are into. graffiti and street art please put I. came across any of the LA Philharmonic. um murals there we are there we go right. there oh yeah this guy that guy let me.
say on the right also looks like a. French pedophile dude anybody with a. wood instrument I feel like definitely. what instruments are a gateway drug I. feel like they're taking advantage of. your students that's what I feel like. yeah ah there's all sorts of white space. all over that guy at the top you could. totally do like I can you know what let. me tell you something about my bad child. Chad culture he was uh working with some.
weirdos at USC years ago he didn't go. through this but to build a drone that. would do street art so it could like. just like paint the [ __ ] top few. floors of the US build the U.S Bank. building maybe make it look like a penis. that would be something good for those. Tech kids forget about this AI thing. build a drone that can that can you know. get some graffiti on on the mural up. there to make it really look legit so. even the people who work with the LA. Philharmonic are driving by and like.
well I guess that's there on purpose La. Philharmonic I came with a QR code that. when you point your phone at it from the. freeway it goes. [Applause]. [Music]. bro here's what that sounds like it. sounds like when somebody hands like at. a restaurant somebody hands like a. waiter hands a gay dude a really hot. plate I'm just gonna touch it.
was just ah yeah. sir I did tell you. uh yeah that does sound like the like. the driest old lady orgasm I've ever. heard ah. it's not like a woman yeah it's like oh. I I had an orgasm but I don't feel good. yeah yeah it's like oh man I think my. orgasm ate something yeah that was the. worst feeling you've had orgasms that. don't feel oh yeah some were just.
painful and I just feel uh pit in my. stomach. that sounds like there was something big. in her yeah God not a penis yeah yeah a. foot what else we got Zach. I guess there was a bust at McDonald's. and they found a bunch of 10 year olds. working at McDonald's in Louisville oh. yeah yeah this is crazy I guess they. were working late hours and also. operating the deep fryer the fryer which. you have to be 16 to operate the fire. yeah. look I think if they're responsible kids.
and they want to do it I'm okay with it. well it would be cool to we say kids. don't want to work and all this stuff we. finally catch two kids doing something. and we freaking bust them oh my god dude. yeah you want to talk about the. generational differences in this country. back during the [ __ ] Great Depression. there's kids who were farming entire. [ __ ] Fields yeah and all the all the. soil was dead and the four seeds and. they're feeding an entire family and. they're seven years old pushing a plow. and now you stay away from the friar.
you've seen it you know how it works you. [ __ ] toss some nuggets in it from a. few feet away if you're too short to. reach the top what's the [ __ ] problem. get us those nuggets okay that's it this. is the McDonald's needs to like hang on. to this story and just blame the kids. when the ice cream machine doesn't work. it's like it's not our fault we got. [ __ ] kids back here yeah it's Mario. and Hector's fault yeah. oh no doubt these these were not the the.
kind of kids who get to go to Disney. World like we were talking about these. are these are not those kids these are. definitely definitely yeah I would. imagine they may have been I mean of. course these are the kids but that would. be a good commercial so the kids would. be like he's like me yeah he's like me. dog he's at uh Disney World but the. crazy thing is bro if you go to. Disneyland it is all Mexican people sure. that's also the irony of a dude you go.
there it's [ __ ] Latinos though yeah. it is Mickey Mouse they can cook. anything I mean I always feel like you. know if I go to a sushi place like you. love to go into the sushi place. and then it's you see behind the counter. behind the bar it's like two guys are. like these guys are right out of Giro. Dreams of Sushi I'm always like oh this. is gonna be great or if I see some. Latino dudes I'm like this is gonna be. [ __ ] awesome because they also come. with [ __ ] flavor they're not a friend.
I'm not trying to be a weirdo here but. they're not afraid to put like like a. little Tapatio or shoot a [ __ ] bullet. right into it. seared salmon no it's just like man now. there's a 22 cartridge in my huevos. though. you want these uh you want the eggs. sitting on Lower what do you want for.
lunch. dude I can't wait to [ __ ] be Mexican. next time I'm alive dude ah that would. be great I've already been praying about. it I've already been asking God about it. yeah yeah like and I want to be yeah. well I just want to have some other I. don't want to not be able to come back. and be alive again that's scary to me so. I feel like. I try to communicate with God about that. and just let him know I do want to come. back and I do have interest in it it's. almost like you're you know you meet. somebody who runs a business and you're.
like hey you know I'm letting you know. when I get out of college or whatever I. wanna. stop by and fill out an application dude. my you know I mentioned my folks right. they're Italian immigrants my brother. and sister both born over in Italy and. uh they came up with my my sister was a. toddler my brother was an infant uh so. his brain popped on the plane. um so the the uh no but anyway uh you. know my folks are they're like they're. this big and brown and like olive skin. brown eyes black hair.
and I came out wow you know I'm 6'3 and. you're the one gotcha huh it was like my. mom when I was born I can't imagine it. you were taller than her I was two feet. tall my mom was five feet tall so that's. a problem so I feel like I've got that. little like my mom's side of the family. little tiny cute Italians funny you know. singing laughing and um my dad's side I. think has some more like Northern uh. blood in them so the next time around I.
definitely have that coming I'm gonna be. like like a Joe Pesci or yeah you know. I'm gonna be born in Colombia and yeah. this is good this is cool and I got that. coming to me that's probably why I'm. talking about you know inclusion in. media and uh film and TV yeah cause what. will we be next time you know yeah I'm. not gonna be able to play like the you. know the big Dopey fat husband in. sitcoms yeah I'm gonna have to be I'm. gonna have to really bring it you know. and it's like I'm gonna be on this fool. hopefully if that show's still going.
full dog that show is [ __ ] is it oh. it's fun I gotta check it out yeah it's. a good show yeah I love being around. like uh like Mexican people and. listening to them and dude a lot of them. um. did they have any Mexican people on Mad. TV yeah. um uh well the first the first before I. was there I sort of apologize here I. know it might be a little no remember. the last time is this the same chair you.
bring this one remember yeah it was hot. I was wearing a [ __ ] hoodie and a. Santa hat and I sweat right through the. remember there was like a nice big patch. of I ruined the pleather no it's not. that bad I'm just I wear shorts all the. time so my my stuff is always oh that's. good. um before I showed up at mad there was. Pablo Francisco stand up and then um. then it was uh while I was there we we. had Nelson ascencio joined the cast and. he was a [ __ ] home run hitter a lot. of the [ __ ] was sorely missing from Mad.
TV. um. like you know because he was doing. Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin yeah. and they used to do this thing called. buenos dias San Diego with him and Mo. Collins it was so [ __ ] funny. um and then after that I guess Angela. Johnson after I left Johnny Sanchez oh. yeah yeah so they they finally got with. it was there was there bits that they. did that you guys did back then that. y'all couldn't do now you think all of. them [ __ ] dude I I watched like it.
was on HBO Max for a minute TV so I was. like okay I'll go watch like I haven't. seen it on a television screen in so. long it's all just you know like. degenerated videos on YouTube so but. only half the episodes out of a given. season and there were 14 seasons of that. show. only half of the episodes in a season. would show up and I remember talking to. a couple of my cohorts you know going. like when it came out like I wonder what. happened I think and I think it's.
because well this [ __ ] is too [ __ ] up. I think there's a lot of stuff that if. you. remember like if you remember some of it. it's like what you can't you can't do. any of that [ __ ] anymore you just can't. and not this this is tame this is uh. we're looking at Paul Timberman which is. like a you know a um uh you know like a. guy who's got like a woodworker a wood. shop teacher who cuts his appendages. he's always yeah he's always hacking. himself up and he's got a to camera sort.
of This Old House type show where he's. like I'm gonna build you a curio cabinet. and here's a let's make a lazy Susan and. I'm sawing my [ __ ] hand off but a lot. of the stuff that's like you know a lot. of the racial [ __ ] we did yeah. we had it all sexism racism you know all. the misogyny homophobia but you know we. also had um there were there were there. was a you know you can watch Mad TV and. I can watch Mad TV and go oh that was. you know this writer who's who's like. this is a gay writer who wrote this and.
it's like. incredible stuff where it's like. slipping in. uh you know their representation or. there's this one the brilliant writer. who was there for. for most of the years of the the show I. believe Scott King Scotty King who's a. [ __ ] genius he I remember this one. sketch it's like you could just you know. a Scott King sketch when you when you. see it and there was I remember there. was this one where it was just it was. TRL right so Pat kilbane is Carson Daly.
and it just pans by the kids was like. hey what's up welcome to TRL I'm Carson. Daly today on the show ra ra ra and the. kids are screaming it's like we got. NSYNC Britney Spears and the kids are. screaming and it's all like you know. teenage girls are like ah screaming and. then he goes and I'm Carson Daly and all. the girls sit down and a fat 12 year old. boy goes yeah hey you know which is like. so [ __ ] funny and it's like that's. Scott that's Scott going this is what I. would have been so you know even that.
but even that though if you put it you. know today and it's all you know you. can't [ __ ] joke about anything or. whatever that's crazy I wish they had a. show called fat and gay yeah fat gay 12. year old I would love to play the dad in. fat gay 12 year old you know what I mean. because also that's a that's a [ __ ]. character Arc for me that's something. for me as an actor to chew on because at. first I could be that Dad who's like. well no son of mine that whole thing we. ain't gay and out around right you know. you know yeah eating another steak yeah. did you eat another ham steak Billy put.
the barrettes back in the car. you're not we're not going to [ __ ]. [ __ ] forever 21. yeah you get that. Glitter off your kneecaps like why you. got glitter on your knee I hear you wear. glitter on your kneecaps at the baseball. game Billy it helps me when I'm catching. you know I'm a catcher and I gotta Bend. at the knees and the glitter helps me. with my flexibility now go get your. helmet on we're getting back in the game. yeah but then after a while yeah he you. know he grows to maybe your dad falls.
asleep in his chair one night he's drunk. right yeah and then he wakes up and uh. you know Billy Elliott is on or. something. Billy Elliott it's like a movie about a. gay kid in Australia yeah or maybe um. what's a cake with something with a gay. kid in it glitter knees. yeah. YouTube is on and he finds out it's his. son making it it's he's he's watching. like uh makeup tutorials yeah and he's. like I recognize those knees oh that's a. magic fart 60 right there right and he's.
[ __ ] painting and the kid's painting. his knees up the next you want to do is. you want to Contour your kneecaps and. then you want to put glitter on the. kneecap and right down the middle and. this is going to give the appearance. he's going to go that sounds like Billy. and then he kicks down the [ __ ] door. and Billy's live streaming and he's. doing he's doing a makeup tutorial. putting glitter on his knees for the. baseball team off my knees for Dad. that's his handle. off my knees for dads yeah it's like. he's trying to be not gay like I ain't.
being gay boy I'm off my knees for Dad. and then and then dad comes around to it. and it's like I love you no matter what. and then oh oh oh oh this is a lovely. scene here's a lovely scene at the end. of the first season of uh Billy Elliot. uh you know we've had the whole uh. makeup tutorial and Billy's putting. glitter on his knees and Bill senior is. not having it and they go through their. whole thing and he comes around and so. Billy's up to bat and he's super nervous. and his dad never shows up to games and.
he's like he's there and he's like about. he's about to hit and he's facing a. pitching machine run by an AI that only. zooms him at 110 miles an hour and he's. like about to hit and he goes he goes. you can he hears you can do it Billy and. he looks out into the stands and his. dad's there and a pair of Jammer shorts. and he pulls them up and he's got. glitter on his knees and the boy's like. and he hits a [ __ ] home run. like the natural right and it hits the. [ __ ] lights because it's a night game. and then that's all it's a light and.
there's two dudes behind the scoreboard. like back there just slurping on each. other yeah and one of them right when it. hits the scoreboard he pops out like. yeah and the other one's got his foot in. his in his [ __ ] and he goes. uh like he's at the Philharmonic and. then Tchaikovsky starts playing and. that's a [ __ ] TV show. that's that's how we get inclusivity and.
that's how and then I'll win a [ __ ]. Emmy right for playing the [ __ ] dad. who came around he's a good dude at the. end of the day and that's all I want. just a big white guy in a mustache a. [ __ ] white identifying Southern. Italian by Blood but I'm a big white. Canadian who enunciates most words yeah. that's how whenever I'm around Tom Green. we [ __ ] out enunciate each other. hello how are you Tom I am fine will how. are you I am good uh what is your.
favorite beverage at uh Tim Hortons I. like coffee I also like coffee do you. like the donuts I do they make good. Donuts that's the most Canadian [ __ ]. that's all like the whole hey how's it. going eh Jose that's a Canadian thing. for sure but the most Canadian thing is. to just be like I'm sorry I cut you off. in traffic that is okay have a good day. thank you very much here is a Tim. importance coupon thank you very much. here is a Tim Hortons coupon we.
exchanged Tim Hortons coupons on the. freeway. omkfd dude off my knees for Dad bro off. my knees for Dad that's the musical. God and so what we're trying to say is. these kids shouldn't be working in. McDonald's that's all we're trying to. say get the [ __ ] poor Mexican kids. out of McDonald's. if they're gonna for dude here's the. thing every culture has had their time. to be the working the immigrate like the. first line of working in America every.
culture has absolutely Irish people I. wish people were black people did it by. I mean they were zero choice in the. matter have a choice but they did it uh. attacked the [ __ ] country yeah. starting with black people then Irish. people getting Black Lung in the you. know uh uh you know in the in the mines. and [ __ ] Italians which is a little bit. of reparations I'm not saying it wasn't. reparations but given that many people. black long dude is definitely. a lot of people die from black long oh.
[ __ ] yeah yeah how many people died from. black alone. about as many as they're replacing at. IBM. is. but a thousand miners die from. co-workers pneumonia sentences a year. now oh that's [ __ ] up it's a 76 000. okay so no so it's still not closed but. it's like anyway since 1968 76 000 right. yeah I mean that's that's uh that's. people die. uh you know as an as a Italian by by.
Blood I always kind of go like you know. attack but and also because I don't look. you know like you don't look like Joe. Pesci I don't know you don't I got an. Italian I got my dad's nose but uh. that's about it um uh you know I always. kind of feel like eh again I'm not the. person to say it because I don't look. very Italian but it's like that's like. the lightest in my opinion racism. although I wasn't around in the 60s when. a lot of uh well since the early 1900s a.
lot of Italians were showing up in North. America but. you know it feels like the 60s and the. 70s a lot of immigration in Canada and. uh I kind of feel like that's a speaking. is an Italian uh Italian North American. an Italian Canadian American Baja. um yeah from the Baja all the way down. to South American Italian uh you know I. always kind of feel like eh it you know. you can't really be racial against. Italians like what are you gonna say and.
I feel like like that Mario movie that. came out and it's and people were like. you know they hired you know they got uh. Chris Pratt played Mario which isn't. something we talked about on doozy a lot. because it was like the first trailer. you saw it's like I'm Mario it's a me. Mario what is this place the Mushroom. Kingdom where am I I'm Mario that's not. what he's supposed to sound like but you. know the studio got pressure because. it's like you hire the biggest star that. you can hire and there's no real like.
you know Guido sounding Italian-American. right now yeah maybe Sebastian. Maniscalco could have done it I don't. know that there would be a you know he's. but you got to be a movie star right you. know what I mean uh to push those. numbers and make a billion that movie. made a billion dollars and I want to say. as an Italian-American hire whoever you. want that's my uh that's my offering to. inclusion Chris Pratt's just fine we in. the Italian Community don't give a [ __ ].
uh because you can't really be racist. against Italians you're going to make. fun of pasta it's delicious [ __ ] you get. whoever you want you could even get the. gal who played The Little Mermaid to. play Mario what about black Mario. black Mario would have been black Mario. would have been fine and there should. have been a black Mario video game there. should be like one mushroom that he hits. that you know turns him into a black guy. so then it's like see Thomas Howell in. that movie Soul Man which is [ __ ] up. it's just a dude in blackface and radon.
Chong buys it remember this do you. remember that movie dude I remember. blackface so yeah I remember yeah you. were around in the I mean I remember. dudes doing it soul man is the trippiest. [ __ ] movie there's a wait I've never. seen this this a white guy oh uh yeah. there's a movie in the 1980s where C. Thomas Howell goes uh undercover. essentially to go to college uh and he. pretends to be a black man and then he. hooks up with Ray Don Chong who.
absolutely buys it and uh we were all. fine with it in the 80s and uh that's. not a problem in the 80s and this was a. feature film that came out in the movie. theater wow we have a history of comedy. in this country that is hard to reckon. with now uh but I like to say that I'm. grandfathered in because I was on. [ __ ] mad tv in the 90s and the 2000s. there where we if you want to cancel me. just watch Mad TV and then you know I'm.
[ __ ] do you think at a certain point. we'll be able to have character where. everybody can be whatever they at some. point it should be able to be that way I. think that I think that the shit's being. stretched back so far now. it's like this I feel like we're all in. this weird it's like I said these things. happen every 30 years with regard to you. know social. the the you know just the the. um the sand at the bottom of the sea. getting oh yeah mixed up and before the.
Smoke Clears the social upheaval that. seems to happen every 30 years we are in. the middle of it now we're in a pivotal. point in in our country and in our. culture and it's my hope that everyone. that what we'll be left with is equality. for everybody and if we could actually. and again I don't. not to sound negative but I don't think. it's possible as much as I would like to. see. but I'm Canadian I'm I'm we have our. problems there for sure a lot of uh a.
lot of crimes against the indigenous. First Nations people of of Canada which. is just absolutely [ __ ] tragic we. have our problems there with other race. relations also as well but um I'm from. Canada where at least the kind of the. the curriculum as a kid you know it was. way more Multicultural than it is here I. got here and I was like wow it's really. [ __ ] segregated socially oh we had a. scratch and sniff history book I.
remember for a while. see and the Italian scratch and sniff. would have been [ __ ] great no racism. there kids would have worn that out just. smelling [ __ ] Beefaroni or whatever. you'd put in an American textbook dude. no I was just gonna say we're all [ __ ]. but you know the the thing about it is I. hope with regard to Comedy that you know. the comedy is just [ __ ] comedy We. Gotta Laugh Gallows humor is really. important yeah and if we're treating. each other well and there's uh you know. quality socially and everyone can laugh.
because everyone feels good about where. they are in life and we are a society. that takes care of one another and uh I. mean again I'm from Canada where there's. socialized medicine it's pretty [ __ ]. good and if you're not living in a. [ __ ] world where you're allowed to. walk around and [ __ ] eat berries and. kick a chicken against a tree and you. know do whatever you want and just build. a [ __ ] house without any code or. anything like that if we're going to. live in a society where you're born into. a [ __ ] system needs to take care of. everybody period and it ain't [ __ ].
happening and that's going to be my. platform but if that's the case and we. can achieve something like that again I. do not think it's possible at all we're. [ __ ]. let me just put that in there I ain't. running for office but if we can do that. then we can start to laugh at absolutely. everything again right now people are. not wanting to laugh at [ __ ] and they. have every right not to laugh at [ __ ]. because stuff is [ __ ] dire so you. can't go on Mad TV and make fun of. absolutely everybody although you know.
we had Aries Spears Deborah Wilson Phil. Lamar but it was funny at the time. hilarious makes me [ __ ] laugh now. those people I learned so much about the. black culture and laughing you know with. them and also growing up most people. still just want to laugh they don't yes. they really care I think so but I think. it's it's just like. it's like you know it's like. No One's Gonna let themselves [ __ ]. laugh you know what I mean now that's.
interesting do we let ourselves laugh no. but we keep ourselves from yeah we all. get on this alert kind of where it's. like don't point at me don't offend me. you know I mean I got upset over the. panda over like uh during the like last. big election thing because the only. people that people were making fun of. was poor white people right and it was. like what the [ __ ] did we do it's like. yeah poor white people they didn't even. like we didn't do it like. like we didn't do rate like I'm sure.
that writ wealthier white people. probably own slaves I don't know any. nobody I knew how to they didn't I don't. think they ever had a slave you know or. they're they might have but I couldn't. imagine it dude but it's socially it's. just if you look at it generally totally. socially acceptable to make fun of poor. wife white people right in 2020. right. totally totally acceptable and it and. and none of it should be acceptable. unfortunately or fortunately things do. need to be mixed up a bit and you need.
and. you know I always I use the example of. in 2020 learning about Juneteenth yeah I. was like I didn't [ __ ] uh I was. telling black friends something never. heard of the [ __ ] Juneteenth I don't. know what the [ __ ] that is what is that. I had no clue most of my black friends. have no idea what it is until it came. out what's that too yeah they kind of. launched it a few years ago I feel like. I mean I know they didn't but it's like. if you'd have asked any black kid where. I'm from what Juneteenth was it I have. no [ __ ] clue yeah no but it's it's.
interesting what you're saying about. like it's like oh yeah it's easy to make. fun of [ __ ] you know poor white. people I feel like that's another. symptom of of the social sort of again. the the silt at the bottom of the ocean. getting uh getting um getting smoked up. do you think we as we were comedians. then we have to be the ones to kind of. like see where the thing is at then you. know I think yes I think you know in in. your Avenue with with podcasting and. stand up and sort of you know I'm.
primarily an actor but I love doing. weird [ __ ] on the internet and doing. podcasting and stuff and also you know. if I can be responsible for any sort of. weird creative uh [ __ ] if I ever get to. you know work on things and make stuff. it's it is up to us but it is also it's. quite a responsibility because we're. it's this bizarre currency of. quote-unquote cancellation which some. people don't even think exists which is. to me it's weird it's like well you just.
said cancellation that means that it's a. word right it exists. um and I think that you you have to be. you have to be uh. a brave comedian to kind of look it's. not fun to just go out there and go I. want things to be the way they used to. be in the 90s that to me to me. personally as a comedy fan to me that's. hack yeah it's like to not push [ __ ]. [ __ ] forward great comedians have a. complete like I'm sure you you love them. I love George Carlin right like just.
come on that that guy was always years. ahead of his time and always. shot right down the middle you knew. exactly what he was thinking and he. represented himself completely honestly. I think that. um you know comedians who who are being. 100 honest and not just trying to you. know be shocking for shocking's sake or. say I should be allowed to say this. because I said it in 1995. you know I. think audiences today that's fine but.
your audience is going to be awfully. specialized if you just want to be a. prick about things and say everyone. should laugh at these things that. currently people are uh sensitive about. and for good reason if you can find new. things to laugh about there are new. things to laugh about in our. completely [ __ ] bizarre social. climate yeah it's [ __ ] bizarre you. just said I got black friends who grew. up with that wouldn't have known.
Juneteenth that's a joke you couldn't. say in 1998 because absolutely nobody. knew what the [ __ ] you were talking. about with Juneteenth yeah but 2020 was. a really uh was such a. you know a Rife year of of uh you know. with the pandemic and and and and and. the you know the social oh yeah it got. black black lives matter yeah it was it. was wild yeah yeah yeah so it's like now. I think you. I think you can uh but you got to be. smart about it and I'm not I'm not smart.
about it I don't I'm not saying that's. me at all and I'm not yeah I've never. been yeah but but I I do think that. I think that people will start to chill. out a little bit because socially what. happens in my opinion mine is just my. opinion with these waves is that people. all get [ __ ] tired you know at the. end of the day we just wanna most people. just want the same [ __ ] yeah they want. to be able to take care of their. families they want to have something. nice for dinner they want to know that. they're safe at home they want to know.
that if they go to the wrong [ __ ]. door they're not going to get shot in. the face uh the horrible [ __ ] that's. happening right now because everyone is. so. wound up and charged up it's truly. [ __ ] scary people are scared man I. realized the other day I'm walking up to. a car I did and it was it wasn't my car. I get right by the door handle I. realized it wasn't my car it looked just. like my car there's somebody sitting in. that car and I'm like. oh my God that person could [ __ ]. shoot me right now yeah and I wouldn't. even think it was crazy because that's.
just where the fear level is at it's. like all these POV videos of all this. fear. um it's it's interesting man it's a it's. a it's a it's a fury time out there I. and I'm never afraid of anything because. I look like a gigantic football coach. cop and I drive a a Tahoe so I can yeah. I could technically be a park ranger uh. we need that Alex Jones back though just. just in general I think we need him you.
know I would love to see him do and. that's what I thought he was going to. get into was like a regular guy's job. after he had the big uh lawsuit against. him was um manager in like a Denny's or. something manager and like an IHOP yeah. I got you got to get the moons over my. and they're making the moons over Miami. gay. I'm a humanist. you got you got. let me tell you something about these. people out here eating mozzarella sticks.
I've eaten mozzarella sticks of Bohemian. Grove it was invented by Mark Twain. uh just a rich. and originally it was just a place for. these globalist uh people to it was uh. actually a lot of closeted uh homosexual. activity happening there mostly by. Republicans but Democrats took it over. and uh John F Kennedy Bobby Kennedy Jr. Bobby Kennedy uh they went out to. Bohemian Grove you could still go there. it's in Northern California and they're. deep in the forest wearing robes like. Druids.
yeah what do you want uh how would you. like your eggs. you want white toast we toast all right. I hate this uniform ah. just always ripping off his [ __ ] polo. shirt. you want to see my name. you know and these people are they're. reptiles I've seen it up close they. don't have skin like you and me I've. been up close I've been next to Nancy.
Pelosi. Hillary Clinton these people are not. human they're interdimensional beings. they come in they open wrens in the uh. in the fabric of time and space and they. walk through. right uh Gonna Wanna See It. everybody wants the same thing at the. end of the day they just want to be able. to watch uh you know sit down. eat their Frijoles with their family. watch white porn with their family. all right.
and watch this fool on TBS. um what's your what's what's up with. acting man what's going on you got Duty. going any new adventures going on with. you I'm about to go uh shoot a movie in. Canada called 1989. no yeah that'll be. fun with um you ever heard of a Canadian. cult classic called FUBAR okay so uh I. know what it means yeah yeah so there's. Fubar and there's food bar too and this. [ __ ] uh brilliant dude there's these.
two guys you know uh deaner and Terry. and one of them Paul Spence who's uh. he's the one in the green on the right. there okay and then Terry's on the left. okay so it's the it's the origin story. of the deaner of Dean and I play his dad. and it's sort of like and he's he's part. uh First Nation so there's sort of that. bent to it which will be interesting. which is a very Canadian theme so I'm. doing that I'm doing another season of. the show Acapulco.
and then uh I don't know just picking up. acting work it's [ __ ] weird now. because we got this strike oh yeah the. strike's going on listen I just want to. do again you know I would love to just. play the dad in what is it Billy Elliot. what's it called Oh Billy. don't uh. get off my knees for Dad yeah uh that's. that would be at this point you know. look here's some more here's some more. defeatist negativity for me yeah I don't. know what's happening to our business.
when I think about you know what my pad. Chad culture says with regard to Ai and. he'll point right the [ __ ] at me and go. your job will be obsolete very soon and. I'm like no it won't and I go your job. will be obsolete very soon he's a. brilliant writer and he goes bring it on. [ __ ] can't wait he's doing a. couple podcasts so I guess his bread is. buttered there. um hopefully we continue to do doozy I. love acting it's my you know it really. yeah you have some you offer so much joy.
and talent to people cheers man likewise. dude no not like you do something now. what do you mean I do something you do. so you you have a real skill set what. are you talking about you [ __ ] up in. front of thousands of people bringing. your stories out there that's you're one. of the best doing it right now period uh.
yeah yeah I mean look everything's fine. then yeah everything's fine yeah I think. we're gonna be okay hey. this is the bottom line everybody. everything's gonna be fine just you know. hang out at home and when you eat them. chicken McNuggets know that two you know. uh probably underprivileged children uh. they were 10 years old made your nuggets. so when you get to the center and you. see that it's pink and you realize oh. [ __ ] you know now I'm going to be.
[ __ ] myself all night yeah just know. it's not the kid's fault they don't know. how to work the [ __ ] fryer get your. own [ __ ] fryer and go out to Bohemian. Grove. make your own [ __ ] make a fire yeah. and and boil some peanut oil and make. your own chicken nuggets kick a chicken. against a tree. a lot of those guys are right A lot of. them are actually oh yeah there's a lot. of you want to talk about uh you want to. talk about what is it spaceland pizza or. whatever without the basement where the. guy went in there and shot it off oh the. guy came on a napkin for the kids yep. came on a napkin with his glittery knees.
you're at you're listening to. Tchaikovsky and just coming as hard as. you can out there there's nothing but. Forest out there in Bohemian come as. loud as you want you crazy old weird. [ __ ] pervert lady. I love it we get her out there we all. wear masks yeah you know [ __ ] sex. party style like Tom Cruise and Cameron. Diaz and no one knows who's who and I'm. just and I just got my fist up in. something there's a little heat in there. and then I pull it out and I hear oh and.
I'm like it's Mitch McConnell I know. that's Mitch McConnell I've made him. come several times at Bohemian Grove. yeah. Nancy Pelosi wearing a strap-on [ __ ]. Mitch McConnell in the ass and then just. put where's his hole like a shoe. started playing in the background you. kind of knew. actually Bob Seger I reminisce about the. days of old when you could make shitty. jokes on Mad TV.
[Music]. God boy free come for everybody that's. what they're doing. you know what I think is interesting. though will I think in the end I think. we all end up back in the Native. American style I think that something. happens with Society I think it falls at. some point it doesn't hold up and I. think we all end up back in small tribes. trying our best to take care of each. other and and and begging for the. information of uh of the um the Nations.
you know the original Nations people. dude I think anyway who knows I don't. know the Earth has a way of making. itself new whether or not we're here and. it's like Ed Norton said in Fight Club. in the future I see you will be climbing. the wrist thick Kudzu Vines up the Sears. Tower because all this [ __ ] will be. turned off AI won't be any [ __ ] worry. and it will be tribes have you watched. chimp Empire not yet watch chimp Empire. on on Netflix that's where we're going.
yeah they're they're of course you know. they're chimps they're 99 they share 99. of our DNA and I learned a lot of stuff. about [ __ ] chimps uh and I agree with. you they're they're tribal and I feel. like and they just want to take care of. their own and every once in a while they. kill someone from the other [ __ ]. tribe to show like hey our Alpha is. better than yours and. um but I agree and and speaking as a. Canadian I would love nothing more than. to you know than to you know eat [ __ ].
raw salmon oh yeah that's been again. prepared by any of the guys at the sushi. place that are searing the top with a. [ __ ] with a with a uh. AK-47 yeah well and that's uh by the way. a lot of times they're doing they're. like painting their eyes like that on. the edge of Mexican guys to make them. even look Asian a lot of like Japanese. restaurants that's what's crazy to me. you seen this Zack. bring it up wait that's the thing. Japanese in out Mexican guys are you.
wearing tights I'm wearing these shorts. and now I got the same I don't know if. you can tell but I'm I'm oh yeah yeah we. got moistening your chair I like that I. got glittery knees and and [ __ ] wet. thighs right now it's that time of year. man yeah we'll wrap up soon what. happened here exactly are you seeing any. of this uh no I'm not I'm not funny. Mexican man Chinese restaurant that's. not what you should look up then what. should I look up uh mexicaning Chinese. people.
foreign. are you looking on images man. Mexico's Chinese communities are seeing. reverse migration. that's not it go to sushidan.com they. got a few of those guys working there. I'm joking of course oh well people know. what we mean. um. Will Sasso ladies and gentlemen you can. check him out on the dudes epod. um I think we talked about a lot of. stuff huh yeah dude yeah.
it was a pleasure and uh yeah good luck. with AI man just be careful it will. now. [Music]. Cornerstone. oh but when I reach that ground I'll. share this piece of my life. [Music].
