Who Is Listening? | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #182

we want to start today's episode and. just let everybody on on New Zealand we. have a lot of listeners they're. beautiful listeners that reach out all. the time and just let them know that you. know our hearts are with them and I know. it's just uh you know you just I'm sorry. that this sort of thing is there this. sort of travesty and and that it's. anywhere but just wanted to let you know. that we were thinking of you happy st. Patty's Day to everybody so if you got a. small buddy or whatever or even just.

somebody who's a loves alcohol or just. likes green lipstick or anything. you know if you like somebody you know a. lot of people smoke crack on st. Patrick's Day and it has nothing to do. with being Irish or anything or nothing. about luck so whatever what I'm saying. is this today's episode is brought to. you by grey block pizza grey block if. you've have not yet had the experience. of something in your mouth that has. cheese and meat and sauce on it then you.

can have that at grey block pizza 18:11. Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles on the way. to the beach gray block get that hitter. also announcing some new tour dates. right now in Australia will be adding. May 22nd at the end more theater May. 24th I'll be at Gold Fields in Melbourne. May 25th. I'll be at the Metro Theatre in Sydney. May 26th I'll be at the a store Theatre.

in Perth May 29th at a East AEC Theatre. in Adelaide May 31st the plenary one in. Melbourne and that June 1st is BCE Sea. Grant Hall in Brisbane one or two of. those may have added a late show as well. I would just go check all of those out. the Oh Vaughn calm / tour tou are also. support for this past weekend comes from. manscaped who is number one in men's. below the belt grooming that's right.

men's below the belt grooming manscaped. offers precision-engineered tools for. manscaping with the right tool for the. right job. now we all have had times like for me. I'll be running late for a wedding or. you know would do a rollerskating meetup. or something and I'll just quickly. decide oh right now is when you know get. out the shower and I'll see my crotch. area and I'll see you know it looks like. it looks like if you know an old lady's.

yard after her husband passes away or. something you're like damn somebody. needs to get over there what a whacker. you know they got you know vines. everywhere and just [ __ ] you know run. amok and so that's when I'll get down. get some scissors real quick and I'll. try to tidy up sometimes I'll get a. lighter and even just run it just light. it and bend over and just really quickly. just flash it back and forth around my. nuts and bottom to get those long reach. your hair's well manscaped doesn't want.

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manscaped comm ma n s CA PE d dot-com. that's 20% off with free shipping and a. free travel bag at manscaped calm and. use code Theo. take care of yourself get your crotch a. practical cut man escapes ends a. beautiful box they got the tremor they. got the mower they got that hitter you. feel I mean you feel [ __ ] you know I.

mean Guatemalan after that I mean your. nuts feel like they could dance you know. you feel like you're ready for something. new you could take your nuts back to. kindergarten that's how young and fresh. and ample they look so take care of your. body okay let's start off with remember. this original old theme song we had for. this past weekend some of you new. listeners may not even know it.

oh yeah. [Music]. celebrate ms. [Music]. celebrate.

celebrate all your pain and that is the. Spencer Jacob growl band and that's. growl not like growl like an animal does. but growl like you're almost angry GRA. you and that's their song celebrate and. Spencer lent us that song a long time. ago to kick off the episodes and I saw.

him the other night at the Comedy Store. and it was awesome he had a new little. dime piece with him you know and she was. a tall dime to I mean she was you know. two nickels stacked on each other I mean. she was hightly lady and and they really. looked like they were having just a. blast so it's nice to see him and nice. to have the song again happy st. Patrick's Day it's that time I'm in. studio and our producer Nick Davis is. here with me today what's going on Theo.

not much man how was your weekend it was. good it was good pretty pretty relaxed. I'm all fired up I've been listening a. lot Jaco willing lately really yeah yeah. he's a prioritizing execute oh yeah I've. got a lot of the play so I just trying. to knock it out and how's he doing is he. sound like he's doing okay I'm Way back. in the catalogue so who knows he could. be dead by now when it once I get to the. current episodes but yeah episodes 1. through 10 amazing Wow ok so his early. so yeah so his early stuff is poppin.

yeah yeah I'm a jackal willing hipster I. only listen to his early stuff oh yeah I. love that in Jaco willing cos a Navy. SEAL that you know um led a lot of. charges there in Iraq and Afghanistan. and has done a lot of stuff in the. Middle East and just a real I mean he. definitely wears the pants in his family. I would say that he's that kind of man. did you do anything for st. Patty's Day. uh no I listened to a bunch of. voicemails uh did some work I watched. the UFC fights mm-hmm that work but.

today's st. Patty's Day so I'm hanging. out with you nice yeah happy st. Patty's. dude I was thinking about this man they. don't have you know st. Patty's is one. of those you know holidays a lot of. times and I'll say holiday. they also often sensationalize little. people and some people say midgets if. you're you know 60 year older you say. [ __ ] and if you're you know 40 or. younger you say little people and if. you're 40 to 60 you say whatever you.

want and then somebody either correct. you or they don't but you know you do. notice that like a lot of holidays it's. like you know the they got the little. guy on st. Patrick's Day or the little. lady's Santa has the elves you know on. Halloween they may have a little. Frankenstein or you know a little bloody. Benny you know or a little vampire guy. when you have a little fella just. dripping blood off of his face do you. notice that yeah definitely and then. when it's not a holiday they're making. cookies yeah I don't know oh yeah that's.

true a lot of those channels a. sensationalism they say oh let's see. these little arms make a cake or let's. see these you know little legs run to. get a fresh egg and some of that [ __ ]. man it's like you know it had me. thinking the other day I was thinking. about somebody had a fancy like this. beautiful little poodle named waffle you. know and it was like a little toy poodle. they said and it was I mean this [ __ ]. thing was probably eight inches square. you know like I mean in his fluffy I.

mean it seemed like something you'd see. it Restoration Hardware. you know just perched on you know a. little fake deal and um and I was like. that's kind of crazy they had they were. because they you what they do is they. get little they get dogs small dogs to. do sex and then make a little dog and. then they keep doing it it's [ __ ]. crazy man imagine if you did that with. little people I was thinking what if you. had you know you have a party you invite. you know you know little Janet and.

[ __ ] small [ __ ] you know small. Andy over and then you get them all you. know you know slip them each a roofie or. something get them to [ __ ] in the back. room right unbeknownst to them just so. they make a smaller child and then you. know when that kid gets old enough to. have sex and as you know knows a female. if it's a male that wants to have sex. then you get them to come over I mean in. [ __ ] in 60 years you could have a. person that. in this bag you know you can have a guy.

who just runs around in your desk and. get you a pin if you need it you know. like you could have anything but it just. seems like because for all the Fiasco's. you hear about the dog community we got. to support this community and you know. dogs Without Borders and you know no. more whistles and all of this [ __ ] it's. like at the same time there's this other. darker universe where they're you know. down breeding these animals to make them. as small as possible. mm-hmm it's it's kind of horrific. actually yeah well it's just if you did.

it with your friends or something if you. did it with small people it would be I. think it would be frowned upon did a. hundred percent honey you know let's go. drink with a bunch of little people and. get them all to [ __ ] again so they can. keep making smaller little people you. know you could have a [ __ ] you know I'm. just a hint it and and two hundred years. you could have a [ __ ] little. four-inch girl in your pocket you know. in there this [ __ ] counting change. just organized you know moving quarters. over here and nickels over to this side. so anyway I don't know what I was.

thinking about that I think just the. holidays and in st. Patrick's Day I was. thinking about this man I was I was. watching some of the videos of the this. past Atlantic City and you helped put. some of that together Nick and no you. did a great job and and I was thinking. when I hit the stage man one thing I was. like I didn't really think that I. thanked the crowd enough I felt like I. had this feel like we did it you know. like that was a feeling that I had that. I wish I maybe had expressed more.

because you it's just like yes like. there's just so many people you know and. so many people are excited and it feels. like a group thing I kind of think the. way you think them is by making them. laugh right you held up your end of the. bargain they showed up. you made them laugh it everybody's. grateful right yeah maybe that's it. maybe sometimes I just think I don't. know sometimes I just it's like I always. find like a problem with stuff you know. I don't know what that is but but yeah I.

just want to say thank you again. everybody that came out over there and. and we did it man. we really really did it and I it's not. something that I do alone I don't feel. like it's something that we do together. that Nick does that Nick helps out with. and you know in just this whole you know. we got this sweet kind of community. going on and so we got to find some cool. stuff to do we got to get a van bro you. know yeah I love the community it was. really fun listening all those calls. that came in this week oh yeah hearing. other people listening yeah they're.

everywhere and they're doing everything. awesome well I'm excited to be there. dude I just went to a NASCAR today. that's sick dude I was in I went took. the casino last night with Megan you. know that does the finances right so we. went to the casino and then we went to. the NASCAR you guys are gambling all the. finances no this is definitely is not a. personal account okay good and uh and. dude I've never been to a NASCAR race. bro you get in there and like it was so.

much more chill than I thought it was. gonna be like there's definitely a lot. of people who have had a lot of Mountain. Dew you know like a lot of real people. that know their way around a [ __ ] you. know 1/2 cup of Code Red you know but. you get in there and uh and it's just. awesome it's just like you're getting. some sunshine there were the mountains. in the back it was that auto um it was. at Auto Club Speedway in Fontana and. then you just got you know like Joey.

Logano and you know somebody Busch the. third and frickin Larry Truex Jr and. they're just driving around as fast as. they can I can only think of the 90s. guys I know Jeff Gordon yeah and jr. yeah and that's about it. yeah yeah that's what I was like I kept. asking other people it seems like it's. this guy in it is this guy in it you. just got to pick a deep cut he's your. favorite yeah I picked a couple cars one. car um the the group that I went with. they had their their their company has.

sponsored a car and their car was like. dead [ __ ] laughs brah and they were. [ __ ] I was like this edit do you guys. get an uber driver like that guy looks. [ __ ] lost like you definitely look. like he was asking for directions like. all the time like like he just. accidentally got off on the wrong exit. you know and they had one black driver. and the cops pulled him over like on the. second line [ __ ] so racist bro. unbelievable maybe they should get an. uber driver for the cars like a nice.

Armenian guy I think he could come in. first oh that would be good huh yeah oh. those guys are if you get one from LA. you know me I'm all about that over life. oh yeah yeah get a nice four point nine. five what is your passenger rating on. uber do you have it yeah it's four point. nine one oh god that's great. yeah I'm I drove for uber for six months. like really really full-time so I feel. like I it's like people who worked in. the service industry they have a ton of. empathy so I'm just always reading the. vibe if they want to talk to they now. want to talk I'm a chuckhole writer yeah.

and what's like the worst passenger like. type of passenger to get when you were. driving. I mean drunks really. yeah totally uh had people throw up in. my car I had these two angry lesbians. one time they wanted to go through the. drive-thru and then I refused cuz it was. like it used to be surge pricing at bar. time mhm. and that's when you made all your money. and they want to go right at 2:00 a.m. and I was like I can't do it and they. they freaked out and they stole all my. waters I have bottles of water oh and. they they grabbed a handful of it and.

they smashed my mirror on the way out it. was harrowing really yeah and so the and. that was was that the most violent. incident you had yeah that was. definitely the most violent but one time. I had to help help these girls carry it. carry it just a drunk passed out girl. and I was like do you even know where I. didn't know what I was doing yeah yeah. it's crazy out there it's tough out. there huh and what's the worst type of. driver to get as a passenger do you find. someone who smoked cigarettes honestly. straight up I hate getting in a car that.

smells like smoke and you can I love. looking at a drivers rating and like. guessing what type of vehicle I'm gonna. get into there's if they have a little. rating lots of times it's an it's an. odor problem oh really yeah though you. know what I've noticed that too. especially some of them they got a girl. up there a fellow up there and they have. all these snacks you know they got a. couple bags of snacks under the seat. like a couple burgers or something like. that one dude he kept doing gas right. and then he in the door he had one of. those uh Glade just air fresheners he. would fart and then just shoot it like.

it was like like it was totally normal. bra he would just blast and then pick it. up and just put a little in the air you. know and to be honest there's not. and worse than I'd rather sit in the gas. I think the combination although that. doesn't really mask it and they just. blend oh yeah. dan that's so dirty huh can't somebody. make a frickin Glade that yeah the. [ __ ] actually helps yeah it smells. like you're a Tom it smells like you're.

in a garden where people are growing. [ __ ] also you know like they got the. flowers but then they got the plug-in. [ __ ] shrubs right under them yeah that's. crazy man. can't believe they have that dude. speaking of smoking I want to say this. in three weeks in the past three weeks I. have had three cigarettes and I feels so. much better man congratulations man. thanks ma'am yeah I feel so dude I feel.

so much like it's just like a less. stress but in some ways I feel a little. bit more anger because it's like instead. of like being able to go chill out and. have a cigarette I have to like deal. with whatever feeling I'm having so it's. like I have to like you know I have to. figure out why I feel bad instead of. just go have a cigarette to calm me down. mm-hmm but yeah it's been and that's. been doing the chantix people you know I. got a lot of messages said Thea don't do. the chantix it'll kill you you know my. cousin jumped off a bridge my cousin.

jumped into a [ __ ] volcano somebody. said I'm like what dude that's your. cousin bro you don't say like that eh if. I can change it can't blame ray liotta. for that yeah it doesn't say it doesn't. say on the package like you know stay. out of a Wahoo but yeah I'm feeling. better man and so it's worked for me I'm. not working for the company rethink that. but I am Telling You that chanak's has. worked for me I'm grateful that we got a. lot of people last week we just wanted. to know who listens to the podcast and.

we got a lot of calls that came in and. so I want to hit a couple of those right. now listen and my name is Kevin and I'm. a Jimmy John's driver ooh Kevin my. favorite sandwiches and you know I'll. [ __ ] take a turkey ton of the face. any time. I mean dude if somebody had a bazooka. and they walked up to me and had a. turkey time in it and fired that [ __ ]. as fast as they could right into my. mouth I would take a chance at it.

those t-shirt cannons with Jimmy John. yeah our way whether that man they got. that you know um and I like watching. black girls eat Jimmy John's dude I. remember when I be in Louisiana. sometimes they had these two black girls. that live by me uh and they [ __ ] get. a Jimmy John footlong split that thing. god damn man that [ __ ] would make my. butt wet you know it just made me feel. different so I missed some of that. onward brother thanks for calling Kevin.

in Milwaukee and yep I know you like. them Jimmy John the median hit it gang. boy and they are beautiful dude some. people [ __ ] with the tuna dude I ain't. getting fish at a [ __ ] sandwich shop. bro say that's that save that water. cattle for the ocean bro you know I'll. get fish if I'm taking a lady out if I'm. proposing to a woman I'll buy a cut of. fish mine ain't [ __ ] around just. getting [ __ ] fish all half-heartedly. have one at 1:00 a.m. in the morning we.

don't even know anybody in the building. and they doing it with a ice-cream scoop. or get the [ __ ] out of here I got way. more respect for fish then I'll let. somebody serve me part of their dead. body out of a [ __ ] ice cream scoop. and you should not you Kevin you sound. like a nice guy. let's hear more calling us you know when. I'm cruising around delivering these. shows you know these hearts alarms you. know roast beef oh yeah all I'm very.

cows when I do all of it brah nobody. delivers dead animals like my boys. [ __ ] keV over there I'm Mill walk I'm. listening this past weekend and I'll be. honest man sometimes I kind of cheat on. you and with the new bilberries podcast. as well but this past weekend bumping in. this Honda on the court all day Gang. Gang boy Honda Accord and my whole. family man at some point in life my.

everybody in my family is at a Honda. Accord. except my sister used to have a Honda. Civic once used to date a lot of. brothers and that was back in the day. dude back in. if you saw a white girl kind of a thick. white girl with a Honda Civic. they had a brother in the passenger seat. and and that was a different time that. was in the 90s but man thanks for. sporting it bruh you know they had a. pizza guy one time we're at this party. and um what the [ __ ] did that dude do. oh he some guy crashed his car in the. woods it was a pizza guy and I think he. was just an alcoholic but he was also.

doing pizza and he crashed his car in. the woods and he um. he came to the party we're having a. party this dude comes up and he's like. bloodied up and [ __ ] he's like I need. help you know it crashed and I was. Domino's and half the people from the. party went to his car and just stole all. the [ __ ] pizzas that make sense. bro you got you can't slip but you got. to bring your [ __ ] items with you. you're gonna [ __ ] pretty that product. up I don't care if you bleed not gonna.

care of you dying I'm gonna keep if you. got one foot in a bear trap [ __ ] you. know you got to put them pies in a. [ __ ] sack and do your work man that. guy was really half-assed and now that I. think about it but thanks for calling. Kevin I appreciate it man let's take. another call as to who listens to the. podcast just wanted to know like who you. know who we are homeward my name is. James I live in Nashville Tennessee I am. a doorman at a luxury hotel I dress like.

the monopoly man with the top hat and. coat tails and I talk all fancy but in. my part-time I feel percussion. instruments and make music trying to. make that my full-time hmm. I listen to your podcast when I look out. when I cook breakfast and I clean and. when I Drive to work amen brother kind. of a long commute so I appreciate your. content you're funny as hell well thanks. man I appreciate the nice words dude if.

I were you ever been a bellman I haven't. haven't I was a busboy at Perkins and I. did a little little hosting you know. it's when they needed it but did you. that male host up yeah dude now male. host a lot of time people think that. fellas are you know what I'm saying at. home. you know homosexual one day I hope to be. a home it's hard to know that but did. you know what I'm saying if you walk. into a place and they got a male host.

mm-hmm at the hostess stand. you know I know times are different now. but when I was coming up it was like I. would even if I ever had to do that. because sometimes I worked in Tucson at. this place called City Grill and one of. the guy that made the pies up there got. busted I think for buying a bunch of. illegal shrimp use my own black market. shrimp and saving money you know on the. books or whatever but anyway um this. dude Ted who wrote a bike to work but. anyway uh sometimes if I had to stand in.

for the hostess I would just stand real. far away from it and if somebody came in. I would just o just yell and I'm like. hey y'all need a table you know so that. just seemed like I was maybe a waiter in. the distance you know but if you're that. bellman dude here's what I would be. doing when you got rich people's luggage. get a little couple hits of weed in your. lungs blow it through the [ __ ]. luggage right into the bag just send. them [ __ ] home with that [ __ ] let. the dogs deal with it after that get a.

lung full of that [ __ ] hemp's better. brother and if I can just blow that [ __ ]. just put your face your mouth or your. lips your pursed lips on the luggage and. breathe it right into the bag get them. stopped at the airport when they leave. yeah get them stop let the rich see what. life is like let the rich see what life. is like dude I remember when I used to. live with my friend beau they had a. closet we put two mattresses in a closet.

was a big closet and um and we would and. at night everybody else would party all. night but I had I worked for his dad at. UM shipping your piping services doing. like [ __ ] I don't know what we're doing. really just hiding from the boss all. that right in a warehouse you know to be. honest man but I saw put some blankets. up right there because they didn't have. any doors cuz I had to sleep because I. had to get up about when about 6:00 a.m. when they went all went to bed from.

partying all night. but at right before like they'd all go. to bed they'd all smoked a couple John's. and blow the smoke through the [ __ ]. blankets into my little domicile in. there. so I'm dead asleep dude just it's just. basically inhaling baby right so if I. wake up for work [ __ ] man. and I didn't even smoke weed so I wake. up and just be high as [ __ ] and have to. go to work all day man she was hectic. was this sleeping area at the job at the. warehouse no it was across yelled about.

a half-hour away so yeah I would just. get up and and then it would just be. hell because I'd be starving I have to. [ __ ] go to work I'll be high they're. like you're high on the job I'm like I'm. not I mean I am but this secondhand. you know let's pay for the episode here. and I want to say that is there. something that interferes with your. happiness or is preventing you from. achieving your goals. if so better help online counseling is. there for you better help off offers.

licensed professionals counselors who. are specialized in issues such as. depression stress anxiety anger grief. self-esteem and more connect with your. professional counselor in a safe and. private online environment anything you. share is confidential and it's so. convenient best of all it's a truly. affordable option and this past weekend. listeners get 10% off your first month. with discount code Theo von no spaces so.

why not get started today if you need. help if you are struggling with. something and do not have access to help. you can go to better help calm slash. Theo von th EO vo in simply fill out a. questionnaire to help them assess your. needs and get matched with a counselor. you'll love that's better help calm. slash Theo von th EO vo in and the. reason why I'm advertising for them or. reading this for them is because I've. tried it you know I went on their.

services and I you can do Skype you can. do FaceTime on your phone to talk with. the real counselor you know you can text. you I mean you can text in exchange like. that you can just talk verbally. audio-only or you can actually sit there. on FaceTime and speak with. someone and there's some opportunities. you can even meet in person so better. help.com / Theo von if you need help you. know a lot of us need help and sometimes. you know in my life I've just been. afraid to say that I do you know in some. ways I stay you know probably there's a.

ton of ways that I still am afraid to. say that I need help and dude I was. thinking the other day I don't even. sometimes I don't even I don't like to. die don't you know it's just something. you don't want to want help it's like. this human thing like it about anything. whether it's a mental issue or anything. it's like sometimes I just don't want to. want help you know I just want to do it. myself and if I can't do it myself I'd. rather not do anything you know but I'm. but I feel like from my own experience.

that that doesn't always serve me well. you know in the end you know we can't do. anything alone we couldn't do this. podcast alone I couldn't do it without. Nick and I couldn't do without our. listeners let's take another call as to. who called into um into the podcast and. it's so funny you said Nashville man I I. have this leapers Fork shirt on right. now and I'm thinking about going there. and buying some land man I'm thinking. about you know with some of the money. I'll be making doing some comedy in here.

and then I'm thinking about just getting. a piece of land that I could have one. day you know I love that idea I have a. pipe dream I want to have some land in. Wisconsin and live here but be able to. go back there in the summer yeah I love. that yeah land is up. yeah I want to own land yeah that's. whatever yeah I just I don't know man it. just seems like it to be just a you know. just I feel so stressed out out here a. lot of times I'm it's just everywhere. here is like a business I just like it's. always an office you know everything is.

just a transaction mm-hmm it just feels. different but thank you for calling and. good luck over there and good luck. making no zom he said he made some What. did he say he made what was it doing I. was into your podcast. when I look out he saw I feel percussion. instruments and make music then. percussion instruments good luck with. that and that's a drum all right let's. take another call here somebody who. listens to the podcast. we ico this is we see I just saw your.

research this past weekend and you said. you wanted to know who's listening out. there I'm a 26 year old mom of two am i. listening to your podcast as I feed them. breakfast in the morning. oh wow you think I'm with spoon or with. nipple how are you seeing that meal pass. in it I don't have to get the ages on. those children yeah I'm probably maybe. one of each you know thank you for. listening homework and wanting to say.

also that I'm excited to see you on the. 29th of March in Phoenix my husband and. I are gonna have a date night and. hopefully cry laughing and gang gang. gang gang maybe you guys can pop that. third that night you know maybe you guys. can get that third child gestation um. but thank you for calling them excited. that you guys are coming out on the 29th. that's there in Phoenix I think we're.

gonna add a Thursday night show to. Phoenix as well or maybe a Sunday show. I'm not sure yet. and Kansas City as well I think we're. adding some shows over there this coming. weekend I'll be in San Jose and that is. San Jose that's in California and we're. gonna be doing seven shows maybe eight. shows Thursday through Sunday so that's. gonna be a real ride what else we got. Nick let's hit a little bit of news man. um I'm just keyed up off that [ __ ].

NASCAR brother cars go by so fast and at. first I got there I was like I don't. know if huh middle and then I was like. this is awesome and it wasn't like a rat. it was its way rowdy or like an NFL game. or something it was super calm people. were relaxed and just getting some Sun. um like I don't know if the you know. maybe when the you know when the Sun. sets if that's when like spousal abuse. and everything kind of pops off but it. looks calm at day you know and then it.

was a lot of uh yeah just chill people. you know I met one Duty's how you listen. to the podcasts all the time it was just. I'm trying to think over. you know and it started to get the. longer I was a little more exciting at. God they had one wreck and we were. writing the cheap seats we were right. like around the curve so like we're like. if you have a relationship a marriage. you want to be in you sit there and take. your [ __ ] chances you know. or maybe you buy your wife you know you. know somebody Bachelorette you sent a.

bachelorette party there and hope your. lady gets popped by a tiresome because. that's the area of that first curve that. was really it was very sparsely seated. but down the way full seats were full. because that's where a [ __ ] you know. a catalytic converter [ __ ] fly over. to over the netting and [ __ ] pop. somebody you know that dead man's curve. oh dude yeah stop naming stuff that yeah. just name it hey here's a curve yeah me. more [ __ ] people would be alive.

dude we used to go to this place called. Lando Pines right and it was a waterpark. what was all his named Noah's Ark. yeah Noah's Ark and uh and this was. Lando pines and it was really like a lot. of pedophiles and stuff up there and it. was Turtles had a bunch of snapping. turtles and they had if somebody pooped. on the slide they would shut the thing. out for like basically like for ten. minutes and kind of do nothing and then. [ __ ] start it back up. it was so [ __ ] bizarre like we all.

thought they were doing something but. they was kind of I can be standing. around and that's a reverse psychology I. think what are we talking about man you. went to Pine Knoll and Oh Pines yeah and. that was our little waterpark and you. had to drive down this road and it had. like seven dead man's curves on there. I'm like dude just [ __ ] have regular. curves you'll have way more business. we're straight yeah it is kind of crazy.

it's like oh we want it to be scenic and. there thousands of people died over the. years yeah so then it's always those. white crosses you feel so bad but at the. NASCAR yeah that one of that curve you. know if you I mean a [ __ ] tire. something could just fly right over that. they got steel netting right there in. front of you but it's not super high. it's only about like 25. and it's curved towards the track but. you could easily see a [ __ ] catalytic.

converter a [ __ ] blinker because. those those accidents are strong mm-hmm. you know [ __ ] you know your. ex-husband you know catches a left turn. signal to the face at [ __ ] 200 miles. an hour that shit's gonna [ __ ] sting. let's take it let's hit some news what. do we got Nick sure first up James Gunn. was reinstated as the writer director of. guardians of the galaxy they removed him. last July after oh yeah people made a. big hullabaloo about some of his old.

tweets yeah yeah and that seemed um and. it's so now he's back in and a lot of. celebrities came to support him yeah all. the most of the cast of guardians of the. galaxy but they were all like in his. corner yeah and it's kind of create like. Twitter I don't know if you can use. Twitter I don't think Twitter shouldn't. be a news source anymore I feel like and. maybe that's egregious of me to say but. you know somebody says something from 10.

years ago what if they were you know a. swim instructor you know and just. because they have that timeline in their. life you can't respect that somebody. went from one place to another place. maybe they had different views and now. their views are dif have changed which. is if if they have it's what you want. like if you have a guy 20 years ago that. was saying racist stuff and then you. have 15 years of him and you don't have. any of that and maybe you have them.

doing stuff that's not it is it's just. like it's like we're afraid to even let. people have any proof of their change. you know is that crazy what do you think. no and did you see his his tweets at the. time like I'm always trying to be really. objective on like these stories but his. word just seemed like really bad jokes. like they were crazy they were cringy. and not funny but it really seems not a. fireable offense what he was tweeting.

people were saying he was making light. of pedophilia and rape which I guess you. could read it in that week but I think. they were like missed attempted. humor yeah that were really harmless to. be honest yeah and it's like it's like. humors outlawed mm-hmm and it's crazy. and I think at all that's going away so. fast all of that like are you gonna hold. a tweet against me from the past it's. because otherwise it's just what are. those people want like the world to just. be there's gonna be nothing left you.

know it's just it's gonna keep going. down until everybody's no good for some. reason which everybody's no good for. some reason anyway we're all not that. good you know two people [ __ ] somewhere. and made one and made us I mean what do. you expect you know I feel like we're. doing the best that we can the guy says. a couple of bad jokes which is every. director has bad jokes and I think this. goes back to what you're saying always. money isn't loyal because like the. second they thought there's a bigger.

uproar they thought it would hurt the. movies bottom line they're like you're. out yeah a year later just people aren't. talking about it so like okay you can. come back yeah now now you'll help are. bringing you back will help us yeah yeah. it's crazy that's the truth man once you. you know kind of once you have an. audience or have something that yet. those same people who before we're. writing articles to say one thing now. they'll say hey come advertise with our. magazine and we'll write an article for. you that supports whatever you it's just.

you know money isn't loyal man it's. interesting and then also what the [ __ ]. do I know do what other news we got so. James Gunn is back well that's good I. think that's an overall good like we. can't just judge everybody by their. tweets agree. dude I remember I still feel bad about. this sometimes and I don't know why I. don't say this word I don't like saying. this word that much but I remember years. ago on Facebook I was on some mushrooms. and I was at a party or something and I. just thought dude if I was up on saying.

you know I'd eat myself right. and for some reason man I thought that. was the funniest thing I've ever heard. in my life so I put it on my facebook. right and this is early Facebook you. know when people were still like getting. jobs on there forgot about it because I. was on mushrooms do die for. everything I forgot I have [ __ ] hands. so dude like the next day I read the. comment I was just like Jesus Christ.

like the previous thing had been like. hey I'll be in uh you know in a Fresno. in two weeks at rooster T feathers and. here I was being like somebody was like. doesn't your mom read this like when I'm. old teachers like it was just so. demoralizing but I was also you know 27. years old or you know 30 years old you. know so it's like let's take another. call who's listening to this podcast and.

we're grateful for the listeners and uh. and I'll see that other couple over. there in Phoenix make sure to say hey to. me I got a gift for you guys. Oh word Casey oh this is Marissa I'm. from Lincoln Nebraska hey Marissa thank. you for calling from Lincoln America's. that's what is it I want to say they do. snakes but that's Omaha Omaha Steaks. people that eat eat the steaks diners.

homeward you wanted people to call in. and let you know where were listening. from so and what we do for our jobs I am. currently a custodian for the public. school here in Lincoln and right now. we're on spring break so just kind of me. all by all by myself in this school but. yeah I listen to your podcast every. every new about the serger is along with. the King and staying with Brendon if I'm.

not listening to another made podcast. and listening to either you goon so. anyways stay humble your your frickin. awesome dude I I couldn't get through. this job without what certain with so. many funny [ __ ] so that's a perfect. explanation funny [ __ ] it's so true. or I don't know if that's true but I'm. glad that you think it's true Wow a. female custodian I don't we had one of. those when I was in school did you Nick.

mmm-hmm yeah no mister. Leeson I feel like he's the only janitor. for all 18 years of school 13 yeah we. had a mr. Gleason he taught acting and. music but we had a janitor buck our. Jenner has only had one named buck tip. we had got any tip you know I can't. imagine being a female janitor that's. wild I wonder if like Pete I wonder if.

like if you get any like sexual. harassment from the students or. something you know because those kids. are so fired up yeah I mean if you know. high schoolers or whatever junior high. you [ __ ] punch them in a bunch of. semen I'll kind of fly out no doubt I. mean they're so just amped up our. hormones you [ __ ] pop somebody in the. neck I'm [ __ ] you know two hormones. will fall on the floor and you mix that. with some Clorox who knows I wonder what.

it's like that's interesting I never uh. I've ever been a custodian I wonder I. mean I used to clean up the gym and. stuff I'd used to clean up after school. and I used to like it I like sweeping. because sweeping you get all the dirt. and you get in a little pile and you. [ __ ] go put it somewhere you know I. mean you can put it wherever you want. and then you know you're supposed to put. it in the trash but you can also put it. wherever you want in the whole world so. it's kind of like a little trick I used. to do I had a couple custodial gigs back. in the day I did in middle school I did.

my church man the rectory and nothing. happened and then I did in college I did. I had a student services job yeah that. was doing some of the the equestrian. area and some of the greenhouses and. stuff mm-hmm. yeah equestrian worth of the horses yeah. yeah oh wow at the University of. Minnesota they on their st. Paul campus. it's all like animals and agriculture of. school and they have a you clean up. animal [ __ ] or not. I didn't took no I didn't touch the [ __ ].

it was more like that because there's. offices and stuff there's a big horse. area but then there's offices attached. to it so it was pretty regular. janitorial stuff except I saw and smelt. horses. how much poop can be in a horse can you. look that up I wonder how much let me. guess. four. a thousand pound horse will defecate. approximately 4 to 13 times a day ooh. I'm low thousand pound horse will. produce on average 30 sound 37 pounds of.

feces daily Wow so so that's like that's. like three and a half bowling balls dude. that's crazy think about that or the. weight of them mm-hmm Wow wonder if you. can fill up like a medium box or like uh. wonder what kind of box that could fill. up 37 pounds is a pretty good amount huh. that's probably at least two or three. book bags full two or three l.l.bean. bags for with that extended cab the big. ones thank you for calling young lady.

and thank you for listening to - this. past weekend and I'm glad that you. listened to us and I'm glad that Brendan. and I'm glad they were able to make you. laugh and were able to stay in your ears. while you're looking at all those. squirrely kids running around. speaking of Brendan did you see his IG. story he's at the Miami improv this past. weekend I don't know if it's still up. there but he on Friday and Saturday he. was hooked up to an IV oh wow I don't. even see that. yeah the caption said I think I'm. allergic to Miami so I'll have to get. the scoop from him damn maybe had a.

little too much lime you know mm-hmm. that's crazy. yeah I hope he's okay I didn't know that. at all I wonder what could be wrong with. him could this be exhaustion maybe just. the traveling around he could have had a. reaction to something. I was checking on him as soon as we're. done let's take another call here here. we go the hotline as always is nine. eighty five six six four nine five zero. three this episode we're kind of just. focusing on her not really but just kind.

of listening to people who listen to the. listening to you cuz you always listen. to me hey Theo what's up it's Ryan from. Arizona was just calling to let you know. that I was in their podcast every Monday. morning while I'm out walking dogs I'm. out here making that dog fit in money oh. yeah yeah I'm walking poodles beagle you. can one of them be Jean oh yeah so thank. you so much do and I'll see you soon. right gang man you are contrato free. Days Around and right now everybody.

knows we talked about this the Iditarod. is going on still and if you a [ __ ]. dog down here lounging and you ain't up. in the big race bruh then go [ __ ]. yourself son you know the real pups are. out there running trying to win. something you're out here [ __ ] you. know these dogs he's you know it's just. it's so American you know I'm just gonna. stay down here and not get up there and. get involved in that big hitter so a lot.

of the good dogs are up there but thanks. for walking them you know and I think. it's I think it's amazing that anybody. can go in those people's houses during. the day and not steal something that's. what I think is just [ __ ] baffling so. if you can even do that that's amazing. you know much less walk their dog so. thanks for listening man I appreciate. that we got a dog walker we got a female. custodian we got a mama to by spoon in. my nip we got that hotel doorman we got. that Jimmy John's delivery driver boy.

let's take one more hey mama what's up. Dakota nice to see you and that's a. hurricane that's our tornado country you. know something you leave a [ __ ]. Rubik's Cube in the yard and the wind. will [ __ ] do it you know it's that. wild area homeward and hos gone into. your question about who's this 28 years. old and then I dig for a pipeline. company so anytime I'm up on the chat so.

digging just dirty I Pro you on and you. talked me through the day. I just wanted to say thank you keep. doing what you doing man gang brah thank. you for calling the Dakota and you guys. are the people that in Dateline episodes. always end up finding a body on accident. you ever see that net yeah I love. Dateline yeah oh dude I can't even go to. sleep I feel like without a murder. that's everybody nowadays it's hot. murders hot isn't it crazy it makes you.

wonder I don't know okay. people used to talk about like video. games for kids back in the day but all. these women and you watching these. murder shows oh no yeah. yeah I kind of I know this sounds crazy. I wish I was part of like a little. women's group and we met up and [ __ ]. watched it cuz they'd all get scared and. [ __ ] snuggle up on me never like Oh. everything's gonna be fine ladies it's. just the wind. there's a there's a saying I've often. repeated fear is nature's most powerful.

aphrodisiac ooh dude that'd be great. actually. you hire a buddy to come in the back. window and just rub a knife against the. wall in the other room just to [ __ ]. get the ladies off like an excited oh. that's just nothing you know you get him. to [ __ ] shoot a gun in the other room. a couple times calm down it's just a cat. it's just the cat we got him some new. symbols. yeah man people love you see if you have.

a girl over you got to put on a couple. date lines put on a scary one or put on. that Paula's on or put on that uh Joe. Kenda. dude joke into brother that guy looks. like he could really [ __ ] I don't know. if you've seen this dude or not he's. only I think about five six but at least. four feet of it has to be [ __ ] wiener. I mean that dude that guy's solving. crimes in his sleep I mean he uh yeah. and he always wears a suit and he always. gets the murderer and then they got that.

other guy the senior citizen dude you. know and he kind of looks like he's. starting to look like a little bit of. like a decent Liz beyond you know he's. looking like one of those kind of sundry. lesbians you know that you see up in. Idaho he or he's almost he's got. beautiful hair. what's his name can you look him up for. Dateline and Lester Holt first of all. you want to do a mystery Lester Holt who. stole your upper lip brother okay cuz. you only have one lip Lester what about.

that we talked about Keith Morrison. Keith Moore as son he's the best he's. always the best he's always like but. what about that shovel it wasn't usually. on the roof. that's my favorite man let's take. another news what do we got Nick. see the recently the largest college. admissions scandal ever was uncovered. over 50 people were indicted of sending.

bribes to get their kids admitted to. college and two of the notable names. were Lori Loughlin Aunt Becky from full. house and Felicity Huffman were two of. the names charged Laughlin is the one. really that's grabbed headlines she's. accused of paying bribes up to five. hundred thousand yeah read about this. man it made me at first I was like get. him you know get the you know it's it's. just cheating it's just how it was the. kind of thing that always made me upset. when I was young how like rich like if.

you went to like say you in a you know a. group of people got busted by the cops. for something then the rich kids always. got out and you had to stay overnight. you know you didn't have an attorney. your dad didn't know somebody in the. town you didn't get that so then you go. to jail you know it's a lot of times why. a lot of you know you see a lot more. incarceration of blacks and minorities. and poor people overall really poor. people I mean you can see we can always. kind of did you know say it's colors and.

this and that and ethnicities but really. it's it's really poverty when you see. poor big because they don't have that. phone call nobody in their family knows. that God to get them out and nobody in. their family knows that guy to get them. into college so it's like you know when. you have some kid who's a fog and you. know you know some kind of kid who's. always had it easy it's like what do you. teach them you know if you pay if they. find out I wonder if she's apologized to. her daughter wonder if they even care if.

any of them you know maybe when you're. like rich like that you don't even it's. just part of life you know it made me. mad though cuz I always hated that I. don't know if it's called nepotism or. what it is but it's like where you know. when it's a lot of jobs it's a lot of. like you know your dad knows somebody at. the business and so that's why you got. the job but then some of that it's like. I can't be mad because some of that's. just the way that life works. the thing that just people are bummed.

out about is Lori Loughlin daughter. she's one of them is like a successful. youtuber in her own right and this video. came out of her bragging how she didn't. care about school and she was only going. to USC to party and do the game days and. that like really rubbed people the wrong. way cuz like she's clearly squandering. this opportunity that a thousand people. out there would give their left nut for. wow that's crazy man you know when a lot.

I mean it's just I don't know yeah it. just makes you mad and I guess it's like. can we be as mad at the kids it's more. the parents really and then part of me. is like the parents they their thinking. is I want the best for my children right. I have the means to do so right so it's. tough but yeah I when you think about. the people who didn't get the. opportunity because it happened that's. where it becomes a problem I think yeah. yeah and then it's like yeah it's just.

that it's tough it's a gay you the. parents want the best opportunity but I. think the best opportunity is like. letting the kids learn it would seem. like but you know I think about this. it's like I think about you know if you. grew up with like a you know if not a. lot of means you know when you had to. work hard you had to work early or your. parents didn't have you know the high. education or the opportunities maybe. their parents didn't have them so your. parents didn't really have them and then.

but then you kind of you come up in your. life and get to like a different maybe. class hypothetically or a different. financial level then you raise the kids. that were the kids you used to hate. because they had everything that's the. crazy thing to me you know just that's. the thing I start to think about it's. like well if I rate you know if I have. kids one day and they have better means. than I had growing up are they just. gonna be the kids that I judged you know.

and was it even right for me to judge. them you know it just seems like just. how do you it's like the middle is. always kind of the best it to be able to. monitor if you can stay in the middle of. things but I don't know man up but it's. yeah that people can't go to school you. know or don't get that opportunity. because some kid who wasn't even yeah I. wonder what her classmates thought like. the if there was any poor kids in her.

school in high school were like how does. she get to go how did she get that you. know specifically about lawful daughter. but it's just and sometimes I notice. it's like sometimes it's like one. generation just has to take an elf or. the next one it's like sometimes your. parents had to work their asses off and. then you're the you know so then it. things are easier for the next. generation they're just gonna be the. ones that work hard you know and then.

their kids will have it better it's just. kind of the way it goes. a lot of times you know sometimes it's. you know like you know my parents had to. work harder their parents at you know. it's like it takes a couple generations. sometimes for a family to get you know. means to have more of an opportunity and. some of that's just life I think but. damn bro I'd be pissed if I were well. who do you thinks upset about this. probably just who kids that couldn't get.

in yeah 100% like overachievers who come. from poor families who didn't get the. opportunity because they don't have. someone in their corner like you said. they don't have that phone call right. yeah man this [ __ ] always made me mad it. just always made me mad when like it's. because also when you're poor it seems. like you judge that you know it's. because it's one of the only things you. have to judge it's like you know you. always feel like those kids have it. easier and in some ways they do maybe.

but in some ways they also don't I mean. there's still people with feelings and. you know people that are just living in. the environments that they are living in. like Jordan Peterson says like you don't. necessarily have to have equality of. outcome but you at least want equality. of opportunity yeah so those kids feel. like they're not they're doing. everything they can but it's still not a. level playing field yeah yeah and they. would bring them in they'd be like yes. Suzette here is on the [ __ ] Domino.

squad you know and they've like. and that's how they were doing it I. guess they were getting coaches to say. that students played in certain sports. and strange events I think this thing is. going to grow though only this is the. first time you're gonna see this I think. it's this has got to be happening. everywhere and I'm good I think I think. a lot of this stuff is it kind of like. is it does it put big bit of Corrections. out I think needs to have occurred in. America for a long time and everywhere. it's like we're you know it's not just.

what you have but who you are. should weigh in on things a little bit. more somehow and maybe that's because. everything kind of always evens out I. think anyway I think you have to believe. that you know karma it's all it always. kind of evens out something's always. seen me easier but then you get into and. you're like oh this isn't really it says. you know it's not easier it's you know. what always it always everything always.

seems to even out I feel like but I'm. just rambling we're gonna say no you. mentioned how you believe it's like a. ramp it and I do too like I think this. is happening all the time and then I. don't know if it's like a little Eddie. Bravo in me but I'm like what occurred. to make this one come to light when we. both believe it's probably happening. everywhere but who did some like who. pissed off who to like make this that. all the shit's hitting a fan of a sudden. when I'm sure there's thousands of.

people operty operating like this for a. long time yeah yeah well it's like it. when something grows if it gets bigger. than like more people getting involved. more people have an opportunity to see. what's going on could have been somebody. that lost their job and called it out. I'm not sure do you know no I don't I. don't know what like really there's just. there's been a federal investigation. ongoing and they finally just like. announced it but it also reminds me of. like the Bob Kraft thing like there are. thousands of massage parlors where the.

happy ending is like a thing yeah and. but this one for some reason makes news. and they're putting other people's names. out there and it's just like why now. right yeah I mean and here's the thing. Bob Kraft 70 something years old. dude you want the guy's wife jerking him. off she's [ __ ] 78 or 90 dude the guy. you want a younger person with decent. flexibility and dexterity to masturbate.

the man no arthritis well yeah just yeah. you know. god forbid some of these grandmother's. over there having a jerk him off even if. it's his wife you know if somebody is. they're good at it they [ __ ] you know. juggle or whatever whatever they do. that's the person you want doing it. somebody that [ __ ] can work at a. strip mall and who can get there you. know you you you want this kind of to go. to his wife and have you know she. probably got bracelets on and [ __ ] and. she has to do all of that you know god.

forbid I'm not you know I don't think. any woman over 75 is if to jerk a man. off and you know forgive me if I'm wrong. let's take another call here who listens. to the podcast onward hi Co my name is. Amy I'm a big fan I have two kids in. their 20s that also listen to you as. well they're all three of us are very. big fans I just wanted to talk to you. about regular people that's all we are. I work for insurance company my son. works my other son works we're just. regular old people then we listen to you.

all the time. and then we talk about what we listen. about and we have a blast with it I also. want to tell you that all three of us. next month will be one year sober all. three of us went sober all at the same. time Wow and we did you know and looking. at you has been a big inspiration wow. that's wild. wow what a neat adventure for you and. your boys to go through to get just to. to be sober and uh see what that is like. and have you know conversations about. that together and see how you feel you.

know it's funny I thank you for the call. and thanks for listening and that's I'm. glad that you're able to find common. things to do with your son with both. your sons and just whether it's this or. whatever it is that you're that you have. those things that's really sweet and. that makes me feel good I'm appreciate. you sharing that um I like thinking. about their household before all three. of them got sober. oh yeah a picture and like you and your.

brother beating each other up to 80s. rock music oh yeah mayhem. yeah it's putting on some [ __ ] are. all you and your two sons all dressing. up like The Ultimate Warrior beating the. [ __ ] out of each other and having fun. and drinking God dang it sounds fun too. so if you guys do that next year please. send us some videos of that but I'm glad. that you guys enjoyed and I appreciate. y'all listening. let's see Wells listens man let's take. another call here homeward hyphy oh my. name is Shayla I'm just listening to.

your limited breadstix podcast that. works me and my boyfriend are from. Bridgeport Connecticut he actually. introduced me to this podcast which I. very much enjoy wow he sounds like a. great guy I'm gonna cow it and we spend. most most of our day listening to you so. we appreciate that appreciate the. entertainment but during our boring or. galleries oh well thank you very much I. find stuff to listen to during my boring. work hours too and sometimes it's calls.

from you guys so it's great you know. it's kind of like a it's kind of like. this wild back and forth that we've kind. of created here so my boring work hours. is listening to this back yeah you're. like the full circle yeah everything's. coming full circle but thank you and. your boyfriend for listening I'm not. sure if I'm headed up to Bridgeport I. know that I'm adding some dates for San. Francisco coming up and in where else I. don't even know possibly Toronto. possibly Cleveland but thank you guys.

for listening let's take let's go to. another news story Nick I know sometimes. we do things different here and and. today I was just driving back and the. traffic was forever and I was like let's. just do something different and let's. have Nick and we'll just go through it. together. you know gang gang bro some some news. out of your home state of Louisiana. mm-hmm they are reportedly trying to. recoup 26 million dollars in. accidentally distributed tax refunds.

last week. a computer error cost 66,000 people to. receive double refund payments they're. trying to get it back yeah well here's. what I'm saying good luck dude you know. if that when that [ __ ] check comes. from the government I'll cast dude it I. will open up a bank I'll build a bank in. my yard and cash that [ __ ] fast anybody. recoup his [ __ ] not in Louisiana you. know somebody [ __ ] bought an extra. canoe with that money you know you know.

somebody [ __ ] but you know put down. $200 on the [ __ ] really expensive. oyster you know what I'm saying you know. somebody buggin spent some money on a. fancy remoulade dressing you know a. couple quarts that they just couldn't. get their hands on before you out of. your mind you're getting that money back. man anything else in that story just a. spokespersons urging people to not spend. the money but I think like you said they. should go in there close their bait. withdraw everything close their bank.

guys because they said they think. they'll be able to get it back cuz it's. direct deposit so they're just gonna. pull it out yeah good luck that's just. gonna be going go get that money get. that [ __ ] out the government gave you. that [ __ ] boy that's a loan you got the. rest of your life to pay that thing back. go buy yourself a [ __ ] you know a. two-week-old king cake. go get that go buy you go buy your. [ __ ] go buy your ex-husband an extra. [ __ ] uh umm go buy your ex-husband a.

damn a Fred McAfee tattoo that he could. get on his back you know go get that. Reynaldo Turnbull chest tattoo you. always wanted go get something real out. there you know you can get something. nice for that kind of money you got that. money. who's that Ohio State receiver that the. Saints have now that's really good Mike. can't Gore might might Thomas yeah go. get that Mike Thomas left full length.

leg tattoo that you always wanted go. spend that money on something good go. buy a [ __ ] couple 2000 buckets of. shrimp that's Louise even getting that. [ __ ] back boy. I couldn't do some Callister tattoo you. get that dude bro get that [ __ ] do. some McAllister faced at that's not. blackface is it that's [ __ ] respect. you know get it him you know blue or. purple you know do something sexy you. could do anything it's getting that. money back first of all how in the [ __ ].

does the government accidentally give. away 26 million that's not a government. that's a [ __ ] idiot dude if somebody. I look I've accidentally given away. maybe bunking $20 $60 hundred dollars. not once have I ever accidentally given. away its 1 million dollars you know how.

long it even takes you to [ __ ] lose. 26 million at least a million times you. could probably only move if you haven't. if they're ones 26 at a time like that. do you don't think on maybe the 650. thousands of time you might gonna have a. different idea and put it back do good. luck getting that [ __ ] Louisiana go. spend your money. everybody getting that money. unbelievable it's going in let you know.

where I listen to the podcast. I'm Jimmy I'm a fourth year medical. student and recently I've been studying. for my port examination so all day so. been listening to you in the morning you. kind of start my day off with some good. vibes and then also I think brace to. work out enjoy a listen to the podcast. I'm a recent listener so thanks Jimmy. thanks for the call good luck with that. medical you know good luck being you.

could be anything you could be a damn. what Nick be like a gut doctor yeah you. could be a gut doctor come on a podcast. one day yeah and come on our podcast one. day we got dr. Perlman coming on. tomorrow. perlier pearl putter Perlmutter we got. Perlmutter dude and he wrote a book. called grain brain and that's about your. stomach as. so Michael and dude if you don't think. first of all your Perlmutter you know.

what I'm saying that used to being a. wiener. but we're very excited to have him in. studio and we got Brian Callens coming. on this week as well and Mark Geragos. couldn't come last week what happened. he's advising he's not actually. representing jussie Smollett but he's. like an advisor on their team and he was. in court they said he had an emergency. fly back east so I think that's what he. did we're rescheduling for later in. April so he's still gonna come in but. yeah he's he's all over the place to. everybody it's all lawyers these days.

everything's a lawsuit these days I. wonder if that'll go away at some point. almost get back to the old ways you know. or the old days you gotta ask him ask. him that ask him that very question yeah. but thank you for listening and good. luck with your doctor ship dude all like. doctors dude I had dude two doctors I've. had in my life have been [ __ ]. disbarred. yeah like damn my [ __ ] dies in it two. of them and both times I got called up. about getting involved in something.

against I'm a lawsuit against them so. everything is getting sued but good luck. out there man thank you for listening. and um yeah I never thought I thought. about going to law school I think. everybody thinks about that yeah I like. the idea of it too like it's it's logic. wood that's what law school is yeah I. think it'd be valuable for everybody but. yeah I thought about it too yeah and you. don't meet a lot of comedians that were. in law school or have gone to it or. thought about it so I think you know.

it's kind of a popular thing where. people are in you know sometimes we'll. get out of one or get into the other you. know I know a couple of comedians that. are lawyers and I don't know a lot of. committees that are also another. profession I mean you know some. part-time professions but like I don't. know there's a lot of full-time. comedians who are also also you know. legal lawyers hey Nick we got an ad here. don't we. what is it Skillshare Skillshare this. past weekend is brought to you by. Skillshare Skillshare it's an online.

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again go to Skillshare dot-com slash. Theo von to start your two months now. that Skillshare dot-com slash Theo von. let's listen oh another person that uh. that listens to the podcast thank you. for calling the hotline onward yo CEO. Jason up in Massachusetts what's up. Jason up there mass and I was just out. there homework telling you uh Who I am. where I work when I listen I'm a.

manufacturer's rep Burke having it. company and a single father oh I love. cabinets man because a lot of times. you're [ __ ] standing around with. something your apartment you're like. what the [ __ ] do I do with this bro but. our son in a cabinet dude anything you. don't want to see it anymore. fam [ __ ] surprise do me in this. salt shaker playing hide-and-go-seek. you know Indian and the cover remember. that movie loved that movie. it goes back to Little People I was just. thinking Indian the cover yeah next.

thing you know they're gonna have some. people get making little people [ __ ]. it you know they're gonna have a. Cherokee you know you know and a little. person little Sandra [ __ ] somewhere. just to make another movie that's. Hollywood brah I wouldn't be surprised. and then they're gonna spend half a mil. to get him in a [ __ ] college over. there at Loyola Marymount. oh we're brother in UEFA and you're a. single father onward listen mom on the. road driving from place to place. got a little six-year-old sweet daughter.

girl who listens to listens to Bishop. guns sings along and says gang gang when. something is awesome in her life so. we're raising a ripe my friend all right. be good I like that man. I like this she likes their music thank. you for sharing that that's cool ah yeah. I could see um yeah I don't have any. profanity in their music I think of some. of its it would be great for children to. listen to you know some of the beats are. really they get you going I think. they're like the kind of a southern. Aerosmith in a way but thank you for.

listening man we really appreciate it. here let's take a call from another. person that listens to the podcast thank. you so much yo what up boy. it's just boy Mike do you call them my. Jean you wanna know who's listening this. is listening thank you brother. on my way to work in Chicago substitute. teaching. just kind of spread whatever knowledge. that I have to the youth and they're.

gonna listen whether or not either way. I'm here at Eastern every day longtime. listener always thought I'd call 180 up. so to get your big mic that substitute. huh dude I remember we had this dude. first of all thanks for your service. brooke has nobody nobody goes to more. [ __ ] than a substitute teacher because. kids were like hey remember the person. that's usually here that we treat like. [ __ ] kids are like now they [ __ ]. sentence some person who's only gonna be.

here for one day so we have to treat him. like a whole years worth of [ __ ] at one. time or it went like the substitute is. awesome Afflick it went either way do. you remember t subs you had Nick I just. they were all really short lived like. one and Dunn's I don't know you were. pretty we were pretty ruthless to them. it's it reminds me of Shawshank when the. fresh fish comes in oh yeah wait wait. wait til they cry wait till they cry. yeah the sauce man it was always.

sometimes they couldn't hand. dude subs man and here's the thing we. had this one dude he kept he made his. own kombucha mushroom like drink and he. would talk about it every day we'd have. like two gallons of it and he taught a. science because our science teacher got. busted dating a chick at school a. student so be careful they're brought. first of all if a young lady passes you. were a number if I can pass that [ __ ]. back you know what I'm saying brother. don't save it in your phone you're. busted then but yeah man that was.

different times dude substitute teacher. I couldn't imagine walking into a class. and thinking from one damnit control. these kids seemed impossible task. yeah Herculean but subs yeah shoutout to. subs how was that not a day we said a. national substitute teacher day people. that just get hit by [ __ ] spitballs. and accused of sex crimes constantly. Jesus Christ thank you for your service. brother and thanks for listening to this. past weekend any other news we got.

nicked in the NFL there was some more. movement last week you talked about. Antonio Brown Oh yo del Beckham jr. yeah. Odell Beckham jr. got traded to the. Cleveland Browns do go Cleveland baby. y'all got they got Baker Mayfield's they. got Kareem hunts and they got Odell. Beckham jr. 'he's jesus who's throwing. the ball Baker who's catching it Oh Dale. that's crazy man I miss that they be.

Saint Kareem hunt yeah oh wow you got. suspended for eight games but that. second eight anyway you got nicked. robbed in that first day yeah man that's. gonna be good for Cleveland man it's. exciting for them it's exciting for them. good for Cleveland I love that they are. officially the odds-on favorite to win. the NFC East are they were NFC North are. they really yeah Wow the dog pound hell. yeah dude the dog pound was huge when I. was young that Bernie Kosar let's take. one more call from somebody else that. listens Oh weird what is Devon is a.

carpenter out of Asheville North. technically as me and since you get your. [ __ ] together in the morning on Monday I. throw that [ __ ] on on the jobsite. and just [ __ ] [ __ ] until. lunchtime usually with the [ __ ]. podcast so again getting dogs a lot of. gang [ __ ] gang [ __ ] bro get that baloney. hitter man that's what I loved about. doing construction or carpentry or. [ __ ] any job was getting to making.

that sandwich and getting that [ __ ] at. lunch boy nothing tastes better it dude. even that sandwich is disgusting that. [ __ ] tastes good after you worked for. half a day and you guys work much harder. than I do out there man and thank you. for supporting the podcast and for. listening bro we got this [ __ ] son what. else Nick anything else on the docket. that's all I got for news I said huh. Johnny football speaking of the Browns. he signed with new startup AAF the.

Alliance American Football League oh. yeah I saw the guy I saw one of their. games a couple weeks ago San Antonio I. think has a team hmm good luck to him. yeah he's had it look man that's he's. had a lot of second chances you know. you know it's funny I was thinking on. the way here about it's so easy for me. it's so easy for me for me to forget. like all the people that have helped me. in my life like when I start thinking. back I'm like man so many teachers have. helped me so many like friends parents. have helped me you know my own parents.

just little thing it's like so many it's. amazing how much help we you know we. probably do get sometimes that we don't. remember or realize you know that just. blows my mind sometimes like I remember. sometimes I would miss the school bus. and they had a man this this kid bubby. and his dad he would give me a ride over. there to school and he [ __ ] blow. cigarette smoke the whole time in the. car and dude I remember I get I get to.

fifth grade but I'd be addicted in. nicotine you know I don't have to. practice my spelling words in a cloud of. smoke and it's hard to spell words. sometimes but didn't [ __ ] smoke dude. in a fire basically I mean smoke is just. a fire is [ __ ] cousin and it's hard. to [ __ ] you know you're trying to. spell an inconvenience during a fire man. so I was a pretty good speller because I. went through it you know I mean I went. through really uh you know the buds of. spelling it's like the Navy SEALs. program but but that man died eventually.

I don't know what happened to him he had. a dizzy he had something wrong with his. legs when I met him he could barely. drive sometimes I even remember. I'd have to push his knee down to [ __ ]. get the gas for the brake harder so I. guess maybe I helped him to a little bit. on some of those rides but you know I. just think about all the help that I've. gotten man and the help that I get it. you know from listeners of this podcast. you know so many people help and we're. excited we got a single mom for San Jose.

this weekend coming up we have a single. mom for four Phoenix the following. weekend we're gonna have to find one for. Australia Australian single mom crikey. crikey what else man so I want to thank. everybody that supports the podcast as. always and uh and yeah I just I hope. this week I can think more about that. you know I just can't do things in my. life alone you know it mean I can be. confident about the things I'm doing but.

just you know I called up actually but. when I on the way here I called up they. had a guy named Ken Highland and he. helped produce a podcast in the. beginning you know from my apartment and. he come over there neither one of us. knew what the [ __ ] we were doing I mean. didn't know what the [ __ ] you know and. and I only got his voice mail machine. but it just made me feel so good even. hear his voice you know sometimes things. get going you get going and you just a. lot you don't but sometimes I do you. know sometimes I get going and I just.

forget the people that gave me that. nudge in the beginning I think I'd do it. too. yeah we're all guilty yeah and I don't. mean to it's just. so I'm gonna make a point this week to. try and just reach out to some of those. people and just let them know that. they're still with me you know and see. what I can do for them maybe you know I. just I wish there wasn't that muscle. inside of me that that can see the.

problems I'll see problems more then. I'll see you know I'll see places that. I'm not that I'm having trouble then. places that I have not had trouble. mm-hmm you know it's like so easy to row. to think about the the things that. aren't going good then to remember all. the moments that weren't and then. somebody helped you or you know I don't. know I don't know what I'm talking about. do you ever know what I'm talking about. yeah i weirdly feel like I'm usually. following your train of thought well.

Dane. all aboard man and we're all following. it together man thank you for all the. people that support this podcast some of. them we got the voicemails from here yo. Co this is your boy Greg from Philly you. guys who was called in so uh well I'm. working in Wilmington Delaware even. though I'm living in Philly. okay working in Wilmington Philly's. [ __ ] witness protection program [ __ ]. right there but hey we got people in the.

WPP listening and one more because yo. what's up dawg oh yes I'm listenin bro I. wanted to let you know my name is Shane. um that's under fake when he said that. did Shane are you reading that off of a. card I work for a company it's a legal. cannabis grow out in Denver Colorado and. there you go boy so damn right you. [ __ ] using that fake name boy legal. cannabis Shane out there Sean I mean.

Shane yeah I'm he's Sherlock at that. high altitude Shane all listeners man. thank you guys and you know we did it. man we are making this thing a real. thing and we do it together and uh and I. hope that we can find many more ways to. give back to to the people that make. this podcast a reality which is all of. us you know to the listeners and I think. we'll be able to Nick I think as some we. can brainstorm more and just try to find.

other ways to do it you know whether. it's helping somebody start a pot you. know I don't know what we can do but I. know we do some stuff but I think we can. do more stuff you know. I just don't know what it is man but I'm. sure we'll have some ideas but thank you. guys so much man and I mean that and and. we'll just go out like we came in dude. let's celebrate living man we're here. together we did it. [Music].

thanks man you're welcome. do you remember we use this long enough. yeah. 180 episode that's crazy 182. really this is 182 I always thought this. part of the song was weird you know this. room we're gonna die yeah it's very. morbid it is kind of sorry about this.

sorry about the song guy. [Music]. thanks for let me get through this. episode man oh yeah. [Music]. [Music].

a little bit of beetles in it they're a. little huh right there that part or. maybe not I don't [ __ ] know anything. about music. [Music]. happy st. Patty's happy vernal equinox. March 20th man so we want all things.

equal like we said before that's what. I'm saying man. feel your butthole get a little wet on. the vernal equinox boy like your booties. been drinking out of one of those wide. mouth water bottles dude that's what it. feels like your butt will get a little. bit wet if you notice that you know. you're more you will sweat more during. the equinox then at any other two days. of the year and that's a true story can. check that out you guys be good to. yourselves man because I know you.

deserve it and I'm gonna try to be good. to myself this week as well thank you. very much. you.