Virtual Gnomes | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #315

what a year huh. what a year. dude if you had a bag full of years. and you picked this one out of the bag. just say they blindfolded everybody. and then you reach in the bag and. everybody gets a year. dude this would be this would be a. freaking wild one to draw. what a year the shake-up baby.

the shake-up. mother nature just unleashed that um. you know she unleashed that dirty sauce. out into the air. and people getting it people getting. lunged out. on mother nature she threw that dirty. dust out into the air. people getting lunged out people on you. know. just shook people shocked people can't.

you know. people getting gripped out by the. disease man. a damn guy in um in tennessee blew up a. freaking uh an rv. a good rv the guy parked it out in front. of a hooters and damn blew it up. and twin peaks is better anyway and i. know and you know it. and i'm not trying to tell i'm not. trying to preach at you but i'm just. saying damn twin peaks is better.

all the good you know tits. all those good you know them front bags. baby you feel me. all them freaking the milky headlamps. they've all. migrated long ago over to um. twin peaks i mean really the only people. still working at hooters is orange. [ __ ]. let's be honest and no offense um.

el perros. but that's the facts that's the only. people. still working at hooters. are mostly really teachers assistants. who are afraid to do only fans and. orange [ __ ] that's facts man. dude that is facts baby.

it's the new year it's the new year we. did it 2021. we're in the future baby this is the. future man this is. this is what elon musk puts on his salad. baby. this is the future can you even imagine. that we are this is the future. we are every actually every moment. you're doing the future. when you start a word where you.

end is in the future man that's crazy. um we're here this is it 2021 has been a. wild one. um i don't even know if i have any music. do we have any. you know what there's something on here. hold on. [Music]. oh yeah it's that gentle. this that euthanasia soundtrack.

yeah that's when your doctor tells you. you shouldn't have any more sugar and. you just. lay in bed and have a damn brownie. or a snickerdoodle man. this is megan wofford ald langston.

this is that into somebody's life. they're you know down the street some. man down the street he's in. his life is ending and he finally has a. you know can admit that he molested. somebody or did something you know. you know through a frisbee when somebody. been down to pick it up touched it right. you know did something wild. but he denies it just goes to heaven or.

hell. [Music]. you can hear the frisbee. [Music]. oh yeah. [Music]. there you go right there that is oh. lying sign all.

lang syne it sound you know that's the. new year's anthem people. some people don't know what it's called. and it's called all old. old lying sign. and i had a waiter like that once had a. mellow mushroom. he would he just he made like extra. sounds like when he was talking. you know like out of each. order like what. you guys get a little right there hey.

you yeah. you need your appetizer hey. he like made his own background noise. you know. it was like oh we're gonna see you. tonight he's like what dude why are you. we all of you guys who um we have a new. uh. you know we oh oh you chicken best go. all right. like what dude just tell you know if you. hate just tell me what you have.

good to see you guys and uh and not even. see you really. just see with my heart and and with my. imagination but. um i just can't believe we that we're. making it this far. and the world it is getting unique out. there. you know i mean some fella damn blew up. a rv a decent camper. okay that thing slept six honey. but in the end it slept one you feel me.

but. some man kill bossed that [ __ ] over. there. downtown in the central east out there. in tennessee. and he was lonesome it said you know. there was a little. here and there he said something they. you know he. thought about lizard people or something. but you know he was probably listening. to a. tinfoil hat i have no idea but he you. know the guy. i mean it was a lonely dude that blew. himself up.

and i'm not shocked. first of all it's hard to park down. there let's be honest downtown parking. who has not wanted to sometimes. when i'm downtown and i can't i'm. looking for parking i literally wish. that my glove box. was a little oven and i just want to put. my head on there. in there and go full blast honey. i want to set that [ __ ] on nine and. grill my thoughts because i'm damn angry.

that's why. god people been angry this year man this. year got everybody. who knows who know look virtual reality. you'll see a lot of children nowadays. you run you you drive down the street. and. there's a kid in the yard you'll just. see him hiding behind. hiding behind nothing he'll just kind of. be crouching like he's and he's playing. hide and go seek in his head with. virtual you know with somebody in damn.

guantanamo bay or russia or somewhere. you know michigan and it's. you know the virtual reality who knows. what it's going to be. there's a new thing where people. are just have jobs in virtual reality. so now is unbelievable the highlight is. you have a lazy child. with a thing on with the vr on do like.

flipping burgers. or you know working at a shake shack. or do you know making kleenexes working. at a kleenex factory. it's just on so now you can't even get. your kid to work but he'll. put on goggles and go. [ __ ] work at a job that's not even. real. oh my god.

and pardon me look i'm no scientist man. if you. logged on here ended up here somehow. through some. you know chat room or portal. and you think that i am a science man. then you you are a real stray animal. because. that's not that's not factual i'm not. you know i don't know anything about. science and. um and i'm honestly i'm probably. part-time believer in science.

so depending when depends on kind of. when you catch me and how i'm feeling. that day but. um oh man what was i talking about. i don't even know i literally do not. even know. i know that today's episode is brought. to you by magic mind. i do know that and we're very grateful. for them for coming on this. uh this year this past year. um they are the antithesis. of uh of procrastination.

you're tired of procrastinating change. the way you do things. you know nothing changes if nothing. changes i heard that. and magic mind will change things. it is basically the organic version of. coffee. and you can check it out at magicmind.co. and use promo code theo for 10 off to. try it out. i got a little vial of it right here. that hitter. and um i mean it really puts you into a.

flow state you know a lot of people try. to achieve flow state and to really. assist yourself that helps. yeah we're in the future i mean it's. just like it i want sometimes i start to. think what if. the um disease. you know bro first of all think of this. when corporate came out you know. whatever they called it corvid 19. first of all a lot of people thought it. was a wide receiver okay for texas tech.

or somebody. people like damn corbin 19. man this. [ __ ] is [ __ ] people up. people like why damn how many touchdowns. did he have you know. but then it hit remember in the. beginning they put everybody on. ventilators and it. killed thousands of people for no reason. they just plug people up to these things. and we're just reverse vacuuming out. people. we are just animals man we don't know. what's going on.

but i start to wonder what if because i. don't know how it's going to just. suddenly it's going to just disappear. you know a lot of people are susceptible. or. questionable about the vaccine. and i don't blame them dude this vaccine. seems like something somebody made at. the last. minute to get a c and i only say that. because. i'm that guy i'm the dude.

who was writing who was writing a book. report on the bus. you know i'm the dude who would find the. one asian not even asian semi-asian kid. and like i beg him to give me the. answers and he didn't even go to our. school. he worked near the school. he he you know and he still knew the. answers which was crazy. you know i'm just curious i mean i'm. just you know i'm hopeful that we get.

into. that this year brings some answers i. mean i just i start to wonder what. virtual reality are. kids going to like. is everybody's gonna move back in with. their parents and do fake jot like do. you know. some kids just laying in his room all. day with his mouth open. working 60 hours at a at a uh. you know at a calendar factory. you know just gluing sundays onto a you.

know one of a sheet of paper. you know i just don't know. i just start to wonder like. and then the kid gets off of the thing. and he just feels like he's been at work. all day but he hasn't. and then what if our world like we don't. start to be outside and do stuff anymore. and we actually start to be in this. virtual reality world. so then everybody starts to get virtual. reality to go you even have to have it. to go to anything. ever we're all just laying on our floors. with our mouths open.

and just going to work in our heads or. doing this or doing that. you know we're at a party but where. nobody's even there we're all just. and look virtual reality is powerful. it's powerful man i i went to the fox. labs. um and it's not like animal sex or. anything like that it's like uh.

what it's not like endangered species. sex i mean it's like um. the network like fox network fox studios. in los angeles and. they took me in the virtual reality room. one time. and they showed me some of the stuff. they had bro they had a game. where i could see little gnomes i was in. a. like in a woods you know. and you could walk up to a tree and open. little doors and they had like little a.

little gnomes in there would look up at. you. they're in there you know bro you know. brushing teeth putting on a coat. doing deodorant you know one of them's. in there sneaking a little head of. pudding before bed the little one you. know. and now that you open the little doors. and peek in their tree home and they all. look up at you like they're kind of. spooked. and then you you close it and you're. back out in the woods and those little. bridges going from trees to trees in the. woods and little gnomes would run across. them. and a little gnome hand you a little uh.

he'll trade you something a little peach. you know for something little shoe. polish you know like prison. you know he'll trade you [ __ ] you. know he'll trade you maybe a little bit. of. light oral you know not oral sex just. you know. just not like a kiss but just at least. whistle in my mouth or something a lot. touch myself. kind of [ __ ] but um. anyway man i don't know what i'm getting. at i'm just i'm just starting to wonder. what are the next.

futures going to look like. because for me i think i kind of. evaluate the future come january 1. and that's when i start to look at the. past. and um and so that's what i'm starting. to wonder as i see. virtual reality. you know when i was young if you want to. do virtual reality you had to do a. little bit of acid. hit your low lsd you know. you know you take a little couple grams.

of uh. you know mushrooms bruh. i remember doing mushrooms at school. once and i remember i had on a green. shirt and i thought it was a snake. and so half the day i spent half the day. hiding from my left arm. and uh and that's hard to do bro. that is i mean that's the real rodeo. right there. you know i know a lot of these guys in.

the pbr circuit and stuff they get out. there and they do. you know eight seconds on fiasco that. famous bull but i'd love to see an mf or. get out there. on about 60 grams of psilocybin. and [ __ ] hide from his left arm. that snake um. what else i want to think oh i want to. let everybody know january 15th. um we are doing a live.

show it is myself and uh chelsea lynn. trailer trash tammy and it's gonna be. fun man she's so creative and just. she she just has so much joy in her. you know i mean damn if you you know you. shot a missile ladder you just. joy would blow up all over everybody. so you'd see somebody just damn slip in. a puddle of j-o-y. but um i'm so excited about that i. really am and it's made me feel creative. again thinking about that and.

we've shot some sketches and we're gonna. have some live performers. um it's gonna be something and we're. trying to pull it all off live so. you can get tickets now uh the link will. be. uh at the top here in the information. and and you'll also be able to watch it. for about 10 days after that. on the link and uh. and it's going to be great we're really. putting a lot of effort into it so i'm. excited about that. i'm excited to give everybody like a. cool product and.

um and just to do something fun with her. and to. go outside of my comfort zone. you know and last year i really got in. my comfort zone and i just think i got. scared and. um a lot of times. you know because you know i've had a. couple of years where my career gotten. bigger and. it and i don't know what happened this. past year. i think i just got kind of spooked maybe. i don't know stress lost.

everything you know me jesus christ man. i'm a handsome and gretel bro. you know what i'm saying i don't know. what the [ __ ] going on man. but i'm always missing in the woods. brother. um but yeah you'll be able to grab a. ticket to that and thank you so much for. the support in advance. and i'm i'm excited to do something with. uh just really a special female talent i. feel like. and a special talent anyway no matter if. she has. you know that.

that vagina or not daddy gang um. and then some of this episode is just. going to be uh flashbacks from the year. and producer nick and um our producer. sean. uh in the central east they're going to. put together some clips from the year. that they really enjoyed. um and what else. you know i went home i saw my family man. everybody got gold chains i got from the. uh.

i rolled up at the k jewelers and this. fella big anthony in there. little thick fella kind of mahogany. looking guy kind of mixed you know maybe. could have been. [Music]. he was either kind of black and white or. maybe turkish you know. kind of black and mild i think. you know some uh yeah he was kind of. black and mild you know. he was beans but he was rice you feel me. um. but anyway shout out big anthony over.

here off the interstate who hooked me up. with um. you know a good deal on a decent amount. of silver brother. and gold actually i stopped over that. coals in my hometown and i bought a damn. but everybody got golded out in my. family so praise god man i'm hopeful. hopeful that they all liked it and the. kids got a nice piece of neck work. and i got one man you know nothing. nothing crazy but you know sometimes i. like to freaking flex a little. and that's okay man uh.

yeah it was a you know i got what else. did i what else is going on man. what else is going on um. oh we got a really cool guest that's. gonna be on later this week. so that's gonna be exciting uh. the holidays were good man i drove home. dude i went to the. slowest starbucks. i want to say it was in hattiesburg. mississippi.

and if you haven't been to mississippi. it's very. i mean it is like what is it like man. it definitely it's a little slavey if. you're in some places it's a little like. like you see some of those houses where. you're like that looks a little slavey. um but dude this this freaking starbucks. they had nine employees dude or they had.

they had six employees and they had. three people who i think had just bought. shirts who were like maybe in like a. local freaking s bucks. uh you know like a damn cheer team or. something i don't i don't [ __ ] know. you know just give me a venti you know. just. i'd never been in a place where so many. people were working and nothing was. happening. you know and then this one fellow this. big. i mean husk varna this dude who.

was built like i mean he had. it he this man was built you know and he. had that body hair and he was also i'll. be honest with you this fella was. probably homoerotic. and and because i would tell you because. he each time he picked the ticket. he would say i'm simeon and i'm the. bad boy that's going to be handling your. beverage.

and at first it's cute it's kind of. funny you're like okay okay send me in. out here. you know this mf about to wrangle a damn. you know a chocolaty you know whatever. it is. spanish um. you know custard medium. and this [ __ ] would take forever bro. this [ __ ] will take forever so. anyway i don't even have a story about. that i don't know it's just like if you.

work. somewhere then just work there. all you got to do if you it's like p. customer service has gotten. shitty. it's gotten shitty man and maybe it's. just i don't know. maybe anime you know maybe i'm just. complaining but i had to wait 25. minutes for an iced coffee. and in today's society i could.

understand if it's. 1800 and you got to go down the street. you got to hustle the beans you know. you got to trade your daughters you know. virginity for a sack of good coffee and. you got to come back up you got to grind. it yourself. you know you got to send your lady to. the stream to pick up a batch of h2o. she's gotta come back. you gotta get a fire stick or a hot rock. and beat it in the water you know. i understand if that's the thing.

but these bastards have they're. basically sitting at the mission control. of coffee they got machines. they got grinders they got gravity bongs. they got. anything you could have want in there. to put together coffee flavor. or essence and water and get you out the. door. and this big bastard simeon is over. there drawing. [ __ ] uh reefs you know.

damn coral wreaths or whatever into the. coffee you know and drawing like a lit. like a. he put one thing he said he told the. lady it was like a like a kiss like a. lips kiss. [ __ ] get the coffees get the coffee. simeon. jesus man i mean literally i stopped. and i just wa i just wanted i just.

shouldn't have stopped i should have. left. and that's my choice man that's my. choice when i can't handle it and i stay. um that's my choice. so this year do i have any better. choices i just want to find more. gratitude i want to be more grateful. i should be grateful to live on a planet. where i can pull over. and ask nine people to help me get a. coffee and a half hour later. i can have one i should be grateful. you know but i had a nice time with my.

family man i got to see my sisters i got. to see my. beautiful nieces there growing up uh. my sister-in-law is just a real man she. just worked so hard to put together a. nice christmas for. us and and i got to spend time with my. mother man and it was nice. you know it was really nice man we had a. couple moments that i thought were just. just nice moments you know um.

and i'm just proud of my mother man you. know i know she listens to this podcast. and i just want to say i'm proud of you. mom. you know i think you are. um. i'm proud of you so i hope you know that. um but. what do we have man for you guys man i. got my love for you i love you. and thank you so much for being a part. of this man we we've been doing podcasts. for over four years now.

and that's a lot man and what else. oh i went to jitsu a bunch the past two. weeks. man if you're struggling with some stuff. in your life man get into jiu jitsu man. i'm sure that i'll lose an arm here in. the next week or two. and you know i'm sure my life won't be. the same. i'm sure that i'm gonna you know i'm. gonna have arthritis or something. in a month but it's there's just. something about it.

if there's just something about it um. so uh. so thank you guys man for being a part. of my life and. uh and i'm just trying to stay hopeful. and excited about this new year. and to just challenge try and challenge. myself. um you know there's things we can do. where where we could just look at the. negative and uh. and sometimes we do that and that's okay. but it's nice when we can reframe it you.

know and we can also look at the good. side of stuff and. i hope that you guys all have the energy. to do that in this coming year. and and i hope that i do too. so gang baby you know i'm saying we can. do this. sometimes we think we can't but i. believe that we can i'm going to turn. the episode over to uh. to nick and sean who are just i'm not. sure how they're going to package in. clips from the year that they really.

enjoyed and these are their their. choices um and i'm gonna let you know. also on the way out that. today's episode is brought to you by. athletic greens uh. look man get athletic greens if you want. to feel activated. i mean athletic greens will give you. athletic browns baby i'm telling you. that. and they are just a real composite. of the things that really tickle you you. know it's like damn it's like almost. like. just damn walking through a forest with.

your mouth open. and you get to the end of the walk and. you look back and none of the trees have. any leaves on them. and that's because you've been filled up. with that chlorophyll impurities. one of the ways i've taken ownership. over my health in this past last year. is with athletic greens and it is a game. changer. do you take that packet you empty it. into the water that's why. i get one ice cube and i'm at the age. now where i refill my trays. that's people are like how old are you.

i'm like i'm at the age where i. reveal my trays. honestly i felt like i was channeling. crystalline right there i felt a little. delia-esque and uh happy new year to. crystalia too i hope that he podcasts. again this year man that's another thing. that i hope. um but one of the ways i've taken. ownership of my health is about taking. athletic greens. and i like it you get that water you get. the athletic greens you get the ice cube. you get it going. and you treat yourself with so many. stressors in life it's difficult to.

maintain effective nutritional habits. that's true. i think we've started to feel like we. are almost robots. and we can keep going without taking. care of the equipment. because we see so many other things do. that. um but we are still one of the most. complex and uh. and intricate machines we need to take. care of ourselves one tasty scoop of. athletic greens. contains 75 items minerals and whole. food source ingredients including. multivitamin. mineral probiotic greens superfood brain. food. everything get it all simply visit.

athleticgreens.com. t-h-e-o and join health experts athletes. and health conscious go-getters around. the world. and you will also get a free year supply. of vitamin. d that's right again visit. athleticgreens.com. t-h-e-o and get your free year supply of. vitamin d. and five free travel packs today so. that's what you want to get. that's the deal um. man i you know i just don't want to let.

y'all go i'm excited. uh i'm hopeful i feel good today. you know and i need i need to recognize. when i do feel good and just say that. and just shout it from the rooftops and. also to recognize this year could be the. year. this year could be there we settle a lot. of the beefs there's a lot of beef out. on the street you know. rv owners and who people that work at. hooters they beefing. um black people and aliens blacks versus. aliens.

and that's a new thing but that's i've. asked probably about 19 black people now. and they uh probably 13 of them have. said you know have led. you know have kind of supported some of. that that there's a lot of black alien. beef out there. um what else what else would be you know. people's beefing. other people uh mississippi state and. whatever team they played the other day. you know so hopefully some of this [ __ ]. gets figured out as we head into the new. year. um but happy new year to you and uh.

and let's see what the boys have i guess. coming up now we'll have uh maybe a. series of clips. from the year um i'm not sure if i'm. supposed to introduce that or if nick is. gonna put something together but. there's a series of clips from the year. that'll probably play now and uh. and i wish you guys all a beautiful. start to your lives. and uh into your world and it's nice to. have a new beginning. you know especially it's hard right now. for a new year i think to feel kind of.

different because we. you know we're kind of locked into our. some of our same patterns but. but i think it can. you know like when you get new bed. sheets or you get your sheets clean that. makes me feel good. so that's what i'm trying to imagine me. just lay just. just getting in there and it's nice and. clean and the bed been made. next cozied up and maybe i reach under.

the edge of my bed and get a little. skittle a little something you know. something i hit under there a little. treat. one of them little laffy taffy singles. not the long ones. and um you know i like to fill my mouth. with a snack before i go to bed. but anyway. gang onward to amsterdam. [Music].

and that is a hit. from amsterdam high six is the name of. that band. h-y-s-i-c-s with that regional hit.

called made in amsterdam. and that's a strong you could feel the. beat in there you could feel the. undertones and the. different overtones as well amsterdam. the dutch baby. the dutch by far some of the most. aerodynamic people. you'll ever see i mean they're the dutch. are downhill. they're downhill individuals they will.

they are in motion imd baby the in. motion dutch. you you don't see a lot of still dutch. name 70 still dutch. nobody can brother okay they're in. motion. doesn't matter they're on a tram they're. on roller skates. uh they're sewing a magic carpet and. riding on it at the same time. the dutch are doing things if you don't. have any missiles. fill your freaking dutch buddy's mouth. up with gun powder.

and send him on his way bruh he'll get. the job done. they are movers uh. tell someone in amsterdam to keep a. secret no problem. there they will never stop long enough. to even share what you told them i mean. everywhere you go in amsterdam. they're just. get on on a train on a bike on a boat on. a bird. on a rumor on a breeze ever it's just.

[Music]. the dutch are coming and going. i saw a dude pass by on a falcon putting. on skis. and worried he was going to be late uh. for a. regional avalanche they. are on the move where are you going. brother. oh there's a ship you know there's a.

unicycle there's a. bicycle doxycycline. rocky johnson i'm catching him he's. headed to heaven. um yeah gotta catch the five train man. to. a canoe to a uber pool. that actually drains into a real pool. and it's a whirlpool. and then i'm meeting joran vander salute. and hopefully. the bermuda triangle will still be open. because we got to be there i can't. believe they let people get high there.

okay there's way too many moving parts. it's almost like trying to smoke a blunt. in the middle of a game of. tetris on difficult. i mean i can't being high there just. everywhere there's just. it'd be like being high in a like a in a. conveyor belt factory. bruh nah i found. nah maybe you know catch me. i'll be in the hammock area but.

amsterdam they the dutch man i'm telling. you. they're aerodynamic for a reason because. they're on the move. and look if you see if you see a dutch. person this is how you see them. that's a dutch oh what's. oh what's that oh that's a dutch. whoa dang oh man what was it. oh a dodge.

what was that oh dang oh. [Music]. what's that oh is that hail nah that's a. batch of dutch son. the dutch are coming and going they're. in motion whoa. somebody just pulled the floor out from. under me nah that's a shift sign that's. plate tectonic dutch.

beautiful city beautiful people but you. got to be ready to. move. to move everything's in. you know even the cows there they. running bruh they're not grazing they. don't. you just do you'll see a cow jump over. the moon. dude and do it a couple times that day. everything there. on the go you get a steak at night. there's no meat on it.

this cow damn who's this carol lewis. this thing ran right out of his own meat. and the steak be like a damn nugget bruh. like a beef noggy you could throw it up. in the air. and that's nothing bro you know you got. a mouth full of uh. amster steak stay dutch baby. i got a debate for y'all raising canes. or chick-fil-a. raisin 5 gang gang go tigers. gang bro damn dog raisin cane.

duh what raisin cane. duh i don't think so bro damn chicka for. lay raisin shame. bro you tell me yeah shoot oh my god. no comparison you tell me you make it. through the atlanta airport without. hitting the chick-fil-a. showing up at the counter seeing the. beautiful [ __ ] girls that work at the. counter admit it they got the best. looking women. that work at the counter you know when i. started eating chicken fillet huh.

when i came home from prison flying in. the airport yeah. oh yeah you fly delta do you yeah so i i. i was raised on raise it's no other. chicken finger that was the other first. other chicken. i never ate his ass [ __ ] yeah i still. ain't naked. i still ain't eat that [ __ ] in that. lounge i looked at it i say no. yeah yeah they took my diss the new. razor cane i looked at it. i said hell no cause i was raised on. raising kane like since the first ones. and louise. like i was raised there yeah but dude.

chick-fil-a man you get that little. chicken sandwich you open that [ __ ] up. it's in that foil bruh. that thing looking at you like a little. newborn baby got that pickle on it i. hate it before but i just don't like. them saugash pickles all right. i got them soggy ass pickles ice cream. pretty good. okay the [ __ ] nuggets too small one. of those nuggets is three mcdonald's. nuggets now come on. five chicken fillet ass up now i like. chicken fillet. but they ain't messing with no raisin. cane though what's your idea of that.

man like truck driver wild bird meat. you know you think it might be going to. his brain a little bit. anyways man thanks i hope you're doing. good. thanks brother back at you man oh i. think if you have a little bit of. stretch but ain't nothing wrong with you. you know there ain't nothing wrong you. wake up in the morning have a couple. eggs and i hit a stretch. you know not everybody gets to have. ostrich so maybe you know you should.

you know your brother's lucky to have. that delicacy baby. you know some people they say you can't. eat this and you can't eat that. and i say this watch me okay. unless you're gonna come by my house and. stand by my plate. i might have a little something okay. sometimes i might have me a little cut a. hulk. all right i might have me a little. basket. uh or how i i might have me half a. basket of. seal nuggets.

all right y'all don't tell me what i can. have and what i can't. y'all never know i might have a little. bit of canary brittle. before i shut it down for a night. i might have some adolescent uh back. ribs i might bring a nine in the joint. and have a popeye's chicken sandwich. okay. i might have something rare i might have. a little bit of uh. you know i might have some doberman on.

brioche. or some carp tarts or some goldfish. filets. with a little bit of reindeer remoulade. drizzle everybody has different desires. so if you got a little bit of stretch. over there. if you ladies drop you know visiting. another man. and dropping off a little bit of that. freaking long neck oh meat to him. well more power to him bro that's family. you know what i hate the most is when my.

sister drives past my house. and don't bring me [ __ ]. so thank you for calling man and i hope. everybody out there drops off some. rare meat to somebody that they love he. does have a. different accent so maybe that's you. know that's how they would save money a. lot of french fans dude that one yeah. that guy was from france somebody said. was that guy really from france you. think or was he just saying that yeah it. really. oh that guy from france he had a weird. sense who would just say i'm from france. i don't know.

yeah but you're right though maybe he. lied he could lie yeah i'm not saying. he's a liar sorry man. i'll say it he could be i'm sorry i'll. take your pressure off yeah. pretty good and i think the mullet goes. i think we got four different types of. what do you got about back. yeah it's growing out a little bit oh. you got that new york city mullet dude. that business. it's a little too long up top maybe if i. think if i combed it all the way down it. would look like that's. beautiful bruh you look like yeah you. look like a damn raccoon that's going to. prom yeah. it's uh winter time and like wearing.

this kind of [ __ ] makes my hair look. like a rat's nest but. it is what it is you know it looks great. man i think you got some beautiful hair. yeah. right we're like four where dude i used. to have like jeff leopard. oh you're it's beautiful hardy you're. doing great. my hat's already back on i'm like all. right anyway what about your what about. your guys. you got that verse i got that i feel. mine is a little bit more like women who. prefer the company than women i feel. like. mine is definitely got that butcher. morgan's is more mullet yours is more i.

feel like kind of uh. what is yours earn dude i don't know. well i when i get it trimmed up right. and let it sit down correct this is it's. outgrown i got to get amy to cut it. it's actually bro it's actually a bullet. because i do it straight. i don't know i like that i like that the. best when i do it straight across the. top and let it drop. oh the lord will find you if you keep it. like that people aren't really beautiful. because i can put it back for a casual. set i wouldn't and. i like that that's that's like well. that's real i would do that and drink. out of the bird bath in the front yard.

dog. that's full throttle that's like almost. like a british that's like a british. sort of uh. i did this before miley did it i will. say yeah sure. he did no i know i did and i know. miley's seen it. because my name gets dropped all right. and i know she said who's earnest what a. name and looked it up and saw my haircut. and said. they'll never know i took it from him. the majority don't he's trying to get. miley cyrus on a song i'm trying to get. miley cyrus on the phone and figure out. where she figured out that's what i was. gonna hear about that dude.

sorry golly i'm passionate earnest damn. [ __ ]. heated huh sorry i drank a suicide on. the way here and i'm. geeked up no you're i mean my aunt sally. dude right now honestly dude 100. and she's badass telling you borrowed. one of my dad's shirts one time to go. swimming in the pool that was not made. of wood. did she smoke virginia bro she smoked a. medium-sized virginia's brush she's a. bigger guy.

damn dude i look like aunt sally i mean. she was beautiful too she won seventh. place in a um. beauty contest. but there were thirty entrances there. were thirty thirty so man. there was thirty entrance dude it's top. third almost you know yeah. come on baby dude lips come baby do it. yes sir uh i don't think we even. answered that guy's question yeah yeah. it is favorite what's your favorite. what's your most.

you got it what's the most. yeah what's the most exciting one man. damn morgan that's a that's a hard. question. it is really and you shouldn't have to. answer something like that. b don't know nothing a b is like a blind. guy with a damn hatchet. you know he don't know you from adam bro. you know he'll sting his [ __ ]. stepmother if you give him half a dollar. like a b don't give a damn.

if you crack open a b there ain't a damn. in that thing. we had a fella out there was a. groundskeeper and a groundskeeper. basically somebody that's homeless but. also. you know it it you know kind of hangs. out in one specific area. and this fella bi they call him he would. uh. he had a glass eye or some type of. textile eye. you know this fella had something happen.

you know i'm saying he lost one of them. bad. sight balls and somebody you know hooked. him up with that replica. and he would get b's there were bees. everywhere. b's on every there was bees on. everything bees on every trash can had a. thousand bees on it. and he would take a beat and he would. sting right into his own eye with it. and it would freak the kids out because. we never seen it. and then here you go he's doing it bees.

baby. mother nature's freaking pitchforkers. dog. uh and this fellow would just sting his. own eye with him just take him and just. sting right into his. own eye because he had a not a homemade. eye but semi homemade. you know to step up from homemade like. maybe they'd made it in home eq. so he had that you know he had that home. back eye and he would just and if you. didn't know the. new kids didn't know so every time after. lunch he'd get a kid over there and. get his get a live b and sting his own.

eye with it the idea of anything that's. like. you know you're turning a straight guy. yeah people. peop that's like a fantasy that people. have but here's the thing. if you do that are they straight right. that's the other thing. like there's a lot of people out there. they're like yeah i [ __ ] your straight. guy it's like. yeah maybe not maybe not right maybe. they weren't being honest with you. yeah you [ __ ] a liar yeah you [ __ ]. someone who's. claiming to be straight but it's like. yeah i know like i've met guys they've. been like yeah i've never been on a date.

with a guy before i'm like. that's a lie yeah i'm not the guy that. brings you into homosexuality yeah. you've been here yeah i'm not the. gateway drug the guy yeah i'm not. taylor lautner who's like you're like. let's give it a shot i'm like. you've been down the road a little bit. here. if you're going out with me you've been. down the road you've had some. experiences. you don't go straight to like meth you. know. you hung out in some college party. smoked a little weed then lost your job. and decided you know what i want to. taste glass in my lunch.

uh yeah don't know there's there's yeah. i'm not the gateway drug. i'm not like the fun party drug yeah no. so i i think that the people. a lot yeah obviously if it's a legit. straight guy where you're like whoa this. guy's legit straight. i think a lot of people are fibbing. right especially in hollywood i think. they're. lying yeah yeah now do you think there's. also now we talk about drug-induced. homosexuality a lot on this podcast sure. okay and do you believe in that. um that is certain i believe in drug. induced drug addiction.

right so i believe that you will do that. i believe that. you will do things to get drugs right. but do you think though that people will. get. [ __ ] up enough that at a certain point. like at 10 o'clock. everybody's having beers and nobody's. gay. at 1am when you know somebody has an. eight ball of coke in them. suddenly two guys are gay out of the. group and you're like oh this is. it might be that or it might be two guys. love coke right. like i like in that tiger king thing. those guys weren't gay. right they went with women right after.

that. that was their right yeah he was their. supplier of drugs i see and then after. that they were like yeah i want to [ __ ]. women. so they engaged in gay activities to get. drugs. um i don't know i'm not a doctor is it. possible that if you're doing drugs you. start to be like it's easier to be gay. yeah prop but it's easier to be anything. right when you're on drugs it's easier. to be anything yeah i used to drink i. thought i had money. i didn't have any money but i was drunk. so i thought i was like oh it's easier. to be rich. i'm rich here's money dinner's on me i.

was like it's so easy to be rich. i don't have any money then you show bro. i don't actually have money. but when i'm drunk i feel like i have. money yeah so you. act like you have money i say yeah so. yeah so yeah. drug-induced anything could happen. anything could happen yeah. yeah especially the drugs that they have. now you know. like it's like the argument it's like. bath salts it's like is it easier. to fight a pit bull when you're on bath. salts. the answer is yes you know it's like.

would that but that person probably. wasn't. a complete stranger to that type of. behavior right that person's probably. choked a [ __ ] uh jack castle before. yeah that purse has probably dropped. kicked a cat or something yeah. and they just got really into like. fighting pits. you know when they had yeah so maybe for. some people it's them taking on a fear. that they didn't know that they had that. might be. it yeah do you think some people view. homosexuality as a fear. yeah sure i think anybody any time you.

lose control of your image. you're scared so it when you say you're. a gay person when you say you're a. political like if. somebody says i'm a conservative or i'm. a liberal or i'm a socialist or i'm gay. or i'm uh a vegan all of a sudden you. lose control of your image you lose all. of your individuality because. that group is associated with all kinds. of things some of them are great some of. them aren't. so the minute that people view you as a. member of a group. ah scary and and if people lose their.

ability. to like manage their their own image and. then people like oh well you're gay are. you like this. are you going to act like this or. whatever you you know so i think the. fear. is the stigma that's attached to that. group. okay so for a while there's a stigma. attached to homosexuality and and i'm. sure there still is. in many parts of the con and everywhere. so the stigma people fear that. do um are more met do you feel like you. get hit on by more mexican men. or probably on the apps i don't really.

answer a lot of the app things but. see that though yeah i got there's i do. well with like mexicans. i don't go out with max against that. white delight i bet they hit on. yeah and that's not i'm not racist but i. just don't ever like i never oh really. yeah no i just you know what it is. mexican would be easy to date kind of. you know especially because. there's a language barrier i've gone out. with spanish guys i don't know actually. like like when you say mexican i think. of like uh like. some guy like a 5'4 just a guy in a. truck. a dude in a truck who doesn't speak.

english now i know that. that's a racist thing but i've never. been out. with i think with an official 100. mexican guy right but i've gone out with. guys that were hispanic. but a lot of guys hit on me that are. like from other parts of the world. wow yeah white people don't are not into. it interesting interesting. yeah i think i'm the symbol of i think a. bigger white guy is a symbol of. prosperity. to other races oh i could see that yeah. so i think i think. uh cause you come yeah they're used to. seeing you come to their country to like.

get to date. to date and yeah for sex yeah they're. like oh this is the guy. who comes down for sex tourism let's. just get him. now let's just steal his wallet now. this is the guy who who shows up on the. train and looks around a little bit and. nods and yeah. and taps his cane on the ground i go to. the philippines for the food. so let's just rob him now let's just. take his money now. and he doesn't have to buy the flight. dude that's crazy yeah you almost. you look like yeah like i look like a.

guy. who looks like a fdr's grandson like a. guy that would go. you know the the eli roth the hostile. that movie i look like a guy who goes to. bratislava and who wants to just saw. people in half. and then just goes back to his bank job. and just sit back on the golf course. just hitting balls. just like yeah i went away there's a. great little spot you can go and just. swap people's limbs off. great tacos yeah good tacos a lot of fun. so i think those people see me and. they're like oh good you know. fat white guy may be prosperous yeah.

yeah i could yeah that's totally wild. yeah you seem like the guy who made. like the monopoly that old guy like his. son like kind of one of his sons that. the guy that didn't earn the money but. somehow i have it yeah like i didn't. earn it i didn't come up with the thing. yeah but like i'm orville redenbacher's. great grandson. yeah and we just made bonnie redenbach. lonnie redenbacher i just made my living. popping corn. and i just sit at the local bar and i'm. real free with my opinions. and i've never earned a dollar in my. life i've never earned an honest dollar.

in my life. and i'm just living off popcorn money. from like four generations again. oh man yeah it's great it's like being. on your twitter dude yeah. that's not so good that's what i that's. what i look like yeah but again you. can't control your image. right i just look racist yeah i look. like uh you think so. yeah i look like a cop who shot a. toddler oh. yeah you know but you look like the cop. they're like whoa how'd this guy get. like this guy he'd get on the force yeah. how do you how like if you've been on. the force for eight years it's like oh. yeah he's been on the force for eight.

years. but if he just got on the force how did. it even happen yeah. how did it even. we'd steal some liquor during the day. and go bury it in the sand and then go. get it back at night like uh. you know like turtles do yeah and so. then we dig it up at night and go drink. it and then we'd meet up with strangers. on the beach. strange women i met this girl that was. in the wicken one time witchcrafter. and me and she wasn't into it she was in. it she was doing it she was literally. walking on the beach in the middle of.

the night. no man at age 15 dude and we i don't. know what we did but. we did something man that is always the. creepiest story and especially on the. receiving end. as a kid it's a cool story but when. you're a father. and your kids come back from the beach. saying that [ __ ]. because my son did it in in maui they. came running back in. they're like oh we met some dudes on the. beach i'm like. what the [ __ ] what do they look like. like well you don't hang out with dudes. at the beach. no they were cool dad no they're no they.

weren't yeah. no man homeless talking to 15 year old. kids is cool at the beach. that's true man dude when i think back. because when i we had this fella named. richard langenstein and. and the the listeners know this and this. fellow was eventually. convicted or semi-convicted pedophile. and but when i was young he was just. this cool guy. that we went to smoke weed with and. would buy steaks yeah. did you fall asleep a lot huh did you.

fall asleep around this guy yeah there's. a couple of half memories that i have. that i don't want to. read all the way through yeah yeah don't. go through i don't want to read the. second half of the book. but he was but at the time we thought it. was so cool that he would. he drove one of my friends to vegas for. the weekend right like pretty sketchy. right there right there a cute religious. brother accused of molesting student. but this was after and you knew him oh. yeah dude. i used to smoke weed with that fella man. he was a teacher at our school man. he was a teacher i introduced him like.

half of my friends. so here's what i didn't realize man i. was a freaking like a like a penis mule. for this guy you know what i'm saying. yeah you were bringing him in yeah it is. because i met him at school he was a. substitute teacher. you were like that girl on smallville. allison mack yeah. yeah i was a recruiter she'd be serving. 120 years right now thea free gallane. dude. um but anyway but at the time it's so. crazy at the time how i thought oh it's. so cool it's so normal. i'm just i'm lucky we met this cool guy.

yeah now when i think about it. okay if at 40 i'm smoking weed with a 15. year old. yeah i'm not doing no man. it would be insane to do that that's it. doesn't even make sense. no it's so wild how from the other side. of the. that's what i'm saying it's so clear. when mike wants. you got to remember i'm taking. responsibility of all my nephews. oh like i've told the their parents i. got it don't worry they're going to be.

safe and they come running back into the. into the the house and they're like yo. we met these dudes man there's no coming. duncan took a hit like my oldest cut my. oldest nephew took a hit i'm like. what the [ __ ] are you doing yeah what. are you guys doing. what's going on why would you do that. yeah who are these guys. he just disappeared yeah donkey got his. nails done by some guy. i feel weird if i hang out with gianni. he's only 24. yeah that's a good point. that's eight years does it feel weird.

fifteen yeah yeah man. if uh if i get a dm or anything like. that it's always like hey man. uh thank you so much kid yeah tell your. mom and dad i said hi. i swear to god i i don't i. mean hey tell your father. mr coy says thank you. all right man do your homework it's. sketchy now especially dude hell no. i'll ask a girl straight up if they're. going to try to me too me or not yeah.

you should. yeah just so i have it in writing. yeah you know yeah that's good like wait. this girl was mean to me and. said she wasn't gonna meet yeah but you. said clearly you weren't. yeah what yeah what's going on here that. corona virus been. covered 19. well i don't know if you. guys know or not but. the primate center that i grew up around. in covington louisiana. and why you know they had us out there. wrangling chimps and when i was probably.

i don't even know just. i don't even know how tall i was maybe. titty high on a middle-aged woman. you know top of the titty but you know. uh. they gave that same center where monkeys. escaped in my hometown growing up they. gave them 40 million dollars. to fight this virus. or to try and cure it dude. i'm telling you this man.

in my town bro they ain't carrying [ __ ]. man. you know what i'm saying no doubt i'm. not saying but. look they gotta pop eyes four blocks. from the freaking primate center. they ain't nobody's carrying [ __ ] around. there i'm not saying they're not doing a. decent job or this or that or they're. not going to. test and do the tests and stuff but look. if you come down by the chef river. and you expect us.

to solve it all save the world. we're not doing that we don't do that. we want the monkeys to have a little fun. we want everybody to flare up a little. we're doing mardi gras we're doing. recipes. we saw we ain't doing all of the. [ __ ]. saving everybody that's not us somebody. has to go. somebody has to go to heaven somebody. has to go to hell we. the we i grew up in this in the stray. animal belt. so you come down and you can pump 200.

billion you can put a billion. dollars in 200 billion baby or 1 billion. and look i'm telling you be better off. just buying you a. a dozen a fresh oyster. with a little bit of uh bread pudding. dessert. and calling it a rap son and save your. monkey. and save your money too learn the dirty.

behaviors you know the m word first time. i ever heard the n-word. i was at uh i was in i was in first. grade. and these black kids came into our. neighborhood we lived in like a poor. white neighborhood and there was a poor. black neighborhood. like across across across nebraska or. not nebraska. i forget well dude that's pretty far. then if you're. no no no no that was the street name not. the oh right ombre yeah. and so damn this dude did not live by. black people. he said they [ __ ] lived a state away.

so they're like wow they're in nebraska. and we were in florida. and it was scary man i gotta be honest. with you it was touch and go at times. yes. definitely i mean we heard stories oh. yeah the rumor mill. i saw a note in a bottle one time in the. river it was crazy. watch out for the blacks. they're coming. that's crazy man oh the n-word somebody.

said it. so so these. these black kids lived across this this. main street from us and then they came. into our neighborhood i guess. and stole my football my football had a. duke junior. with a shoelace a tan shoelace as the. strings we just play in the street. and so the string for the shoelace. ripped my dad replaced it with a. with a with a tan shoelace it was very. distinguishable. and a little part we couldn't tie it so. there was a little like part of the. shirt sticking out yeah. so they came into our neighborhood and.

they asked if they wanted to play some. football and they had my football. and these two brothers daryl and darren. like yo they're. they must i mean i when i remember this. story i feel like they're 18 17. they're probably just like 10 11 yeah. and i was six. yeah and they were like yo this is. football and they're like. now this is his football this little. other little black kid. and they're like fight him for it and i. was like i have first grade i was not. fighting anyone i was wearing a. loincloth and knee-high moccasins. oh yeah and so um danny's fighting your.

sexuality bro. my dad's like get him some knee pads. he's gonna be sucking dick. so uh so yeah so he's gonna need. knee pads to do it with a [ __ ]. support the union. kind of gay guy puts on knee pads yeah.

[ __ ] dick like a man man a backup gay. dude. you mind if i pull my socks up. oh. do you mind if i pull my pants down for. some cushioning on my knees. oh [ __ ] man if i take my shirt off and. just tie it around both of my knees.

hey is it cool if i take my shoes off. and put my knees in my insulin. like damn dude i don't even think you. shouldn't even be gay little guy. anyone who does that you're like this. isn't your first time sucking dick you. do this a lot. just sitting on your feet and kneeling. on your fingers oh bro actually. if you had to blow something dude that's. not a bad like i would go through all of. those things before. you you got to like you got to have some.

ways to get out of it. i've gotten down on my wife on the side. of the bed with my knees on the on the. um wood floors that's crazy grab a. pillow put them on your knees. yeah the uh but anyway so these black. kids come in the neighborhood and they. they're like fight this kid and i was. like i've never been in a fist fight i. don't want to be in a fist fight. and then daryl and darren looked at me. like like are we gonna have to do this. for you and i was. in my head i was like give him the. [ __ ] ball i don't care my dad already. bought me a new one like. out like and then they got no fight. they get into a fight daryl fights one.

of the dudes or darren one of the one of. the younger one. fights a black dude and they're all it's. like it's like five black kids and then. seven white kids or eight white kids. more white kids because our neighborhood. and the dag comes out and the dad starts. chanting. fight fight and we're in a white white. don't win. we all jump in and i am and i and then. he's hitting me it's your ball. [ __ ]. janet janet and here i am just some. first grader. in a loincloth and knee-high moccasins. just. fight fight and then i said then i said.

the word in front of my dad and it was. [ __ ] over really oh dad fought him no. no no my dad took me down to their. [ __ ] house. walked me down stood in the [ __ ]. thing and said don't ever talk to my son. don't ever i told my dad everything to. happen they stole my ball this is what. he asked me to say. so we talked to my son and we moved out. of that neighborhood a month later. a month later we were out of that. [ __ ] when i was growing up you knew. not to say the n word if if somebody. beat your ass that's how you knew. you know what i'm saying like that was. the litmus it was like you that's how. you learned about it. it was like oh somebody said it somebody.

got their ass beat and then that was it. it's so funny man i never heard it like. i mean i heard it when i was when we. lived in that neighborhood. and then i never heard it in our new. neighborhood never heard it. and then i never i never heard it and i. heard it a little bit in high school but. but it was we had a black friend uh. corey brown. and all the kids that grew up with him. would drop the word but as a like. not not derogatory just as like a joke. if if. if it was the point like in a louis aka. wave it was the punchline of a joke. meaning towards kari or or but very.

lighthearted and they were like guys. that he grew up his whole life. and then i heard a lot in college i. heard that [ __ ] well i went to. florida state and we were. segregated it was like fam you and. florida state so i heard it a lot in. college family was more black college. 100 yeah and i used to drive the black. chicks. they'd call they always lived in one. dorm it's so funny i ran into this woman. the other day who went. a black chick my age went to florida. state and i said hey did you ever take a. safe escort that's what i. i was i drive them around campus and. like a k-car do you remember a k-car.

pull up a k-car can you it was like the. [ __ ] the biggest beater you could. ever have. yeah i think it's called a k-car or a. cue car it's like an old. yeah yeah yeah yeah that was it oh yeah. renault that's a. that's a renault isn't it chrysler k. that was a that was. but it was white and so and then they. would what would happen is. you knew if the black chicks called on a. saturday night because you it was just. taking people to the library is where. you're supposed to go okay. but if the black chicks called on a. saturday night you knew they wanted to. go to famu from florida state.

okay and we weren't allowed to drive to. famu but once they got in the car you. had to take them wherever they went so. what would happen is they go. they go we have a pickup at deputy hall. one base 111 i have a pickup at devony. hall. her name's laquisha and you go okay. you'll be like is it how many passengers. are like just one that's what they say. and so you'd pull up. and then she'd like wave to you and you. go hey. and as she waved they'd pile in the. other side of the car and sneak it in. they go. we're going to fam you [ __ ] i loved it. though because i. because i love hip-hop so i would just. talk hip-hop with them the entire time.

i learned about wu-tang clan that way i. bought the method man. album through them i learned about uh. suave house. uh mjg and eight ball it was like damn. it was like the funnest for me because i. loved hip-hop oh yeah and so. we would just i'd be like what are you. guys listening to and. i was driving them for like [ __ ] 20. minutes so yeah we're listening to what. there was no player and there was no. player in there sometimes they'd have we. all wearing seat belts and everything no. there'll be so many people. i was back when seat belts were like. people didn't even die back then dude.

i see my kids putting on seat belts i'm. like what are you guys knee pads for. blow jobs. what do you got to put your shoes in. your knees and your asics where you blow. a guy huh kids take out your inserts. yeah. you know i took some biscuit out there. to the lake to feed to. some ducks and you know me man if i'm in. a new area i like to get acclimated with. the animals bro i'll pet an. animal you know i'll pick a snail up and. walk three or four feet. and set him down you know save him.

[ __ ] five days of travel. that's who i am you know i pet a dog i. whistle at a falcon i'll [ __ ]. you know i go out and feed a duck i see. a duck i feed a duck and i give a duck. bread right. so anyway i'm feeding them next thing. you know i started getting i put. on my instagram story i start getting. dms people angry you can't give them. bread. you can't give them bread you know. they'll die. you know they'll oh this is what they. they said oh.

if you give them bread they get too. jacked up on energy. and they will rape each other. look man i'm not doing all of that. i took a half a biscuit and went out. there to treat these animals. to get acclimated to the area. if somebody else if they're doing all it. you know i'm not doing part of. sexual abuse for animals i'm not doing. any of this. if they don't want bread data shouldn't.

come eat it that's not on me. people attacking me you're going to hell. bread boy. and then sending me two uh caskets and a. picture of a duck. emojis man. that's mother nature man if there's a. glitch in her pattern they will. she will work it out and these ducks. look like they wanted the bread that's. the thing. you know it's like oh they can't digest. it they will rape each other.

well look man i'm not i didn't come to. town to be part of that it's a wild. thing somebody wants to have in there. when they die somebody throw in a little. can of ruffles or somebody put a little. couple star. bursts in there or something okay you. know it's it's not uncommon a. big thing a lot of people will take. cigarettes with them. you know because you take somebody who's. smoking a boy. you know they'll put those they'll put. that you know cigarettes in that shirt. pocket you're gonna want that smoke dude. if you did. if i'm dead bro light me up a damn 100. baby you know what i'm saying i'm.

burning a [ __ ] winston. if i'm dead man i ain't milling around. you know i've had you know you know a. lot of people put pictures of themselves. you know. what about a joint somebody sneak a. joint in there sometimes um i'm not. gonna say that that's never happened. because you know when we're when we're. standing back up there and the family. goes up for their final viewing there's. no telling. what they could stick in there you know. i've had i've had some very interesting. stuff you know i had somebody. request to be buried with their shotgun.

amen you know so they took their shotgun. with them. you know what about can they now if. somebody requested me bear with an eight. ball. you know and i'm not talking bowling i'm. talking about cocaine baby. can you make can you make do you have to. do that. well the thing about it is since that. would be an illegal drug. you know we wouldn't be required to do. that but you know if somebody. if somebody were to bring that in and. you know stick it up under the foot of. the casket. you know i'm not i don't keep a drug. sniffing dog at the funeral home.

so it might just go on through you know. they might just go with them that might. go with them yeah so yeah that's one. thing there's no tsa when you're flying. up to heaven. that's right that's right you're not. gonna be you're not gonna be searched. you know so now uh what's the wildest. thing somebody's put in there somebody. ever put something that's a little too. big in there. you know somebody tried to put a little. chainsaw or a leaf blower or something. if somebody died doing a uh. you know during a dangerous you know. leaf blowing or something you know. you know i've never put i don't think.

any power tools in there. but i'd go with a damn sander or. something you know. so what are you going to use that sander. for who knows but. but i'll tell you this if you show up. and you the only dude with a sander. you're going to be. you're going to be steady working that's. right but we're not supposed to work in. the afterlife but i'm sure there's a. couple of opportunities to make a living. you. always want to decide can somebody get. buried with their money if they want to. if they want to bring it in they can get. buried with it have you ever had.

somebody that that was their request and. they put it in there. not all their money you know i've i've. had people you know want to get buried. you know. with you know granddaddy always wanted. him kept a. you know a two dollar bill or you know. he always had. change in his pocket you know didn't. want to go anywhere without a little. money. you know i've had that but i've never. had anybody say we're going to put a. million dollars in this casket yeah. because you know then you then you get. to the age-old question. if you put a million dollars in there.

let's say you put a million dollars in. there in cash. and then if somebody would take the cash. and write you a check for it you've. still got a million dollars. hmm so so nobody normally puts cash in. there they just. maybe we'll put a check yeah so i guess. if you want to i guess if you wanted to. go with a million dollars we could write. you a check for a million dollars. because. you wouldn't be able to cash it yeah. yeah i'd rather send the check. yeah just in case later you decide dang.

i wish i had that cash. yeah yeah have you ever stolen anything. from anybody. no sir no sir that that'd be bad for. business. yeah it'd be bad for businessmen you. know i don't understand why are we going. to space all the time. that we can't handle we we can't handle. [ __ ] here. you know two out of two out of seven. americans can't swim. and we out there getting in the deep end. of the of the galaxy. with no floaties on bro you see what. they send these dudes out there in.

this thing like a damn 84 uh chevy. blazer sometimes a bit. the thing they send these dudes out. there. you know and it i just don't understand. what we're doing. it's so lit like i'm not saying it's not. fun to think about what's out there but. i just all of my just sending people to. space. we send two dudes out of florida a. couple spring break addicts every time.

down here in florida we blast and two. bad boys out there. it's like come on going to space. the moon that's the thing oh we walked. we had a couple fellas on the moon. dude being on the moon is kind of like. that guy that gets on your. like at a pool party who gets up on the. roof of the house. he's like come on look at me bro. you ain't doing much up there buddy.

there ain't nothing up there for you man. and it seems like a cool idea he's. climbing up yeah. yeah yeah then he gets up there it's. like man there's no vending machines. there. there's only the opportunity for real. failure. you know there's only you're gonna end. up in the white section of world star. hip-hop videos daddy. i'm just saying man it's time to get. back to the roots. we gotta focus on our own little space.

that's going on here bro bro this chief. calling from texas. what's up chief what up chief. boy and you know this fella probably. huffing on that bag. you don't get the name chief these days. chief used to be a native american. superior term if you're a captain of the. native americans. if you basically this you know the. chris prata joeya if you's a real you. know if you that top dog.

in the uh in the feather. in that in that in that feather club. then you would get that name chief. but more recently chief is more of a. okay you know. little gary does a lot of chief in that. hey sucking on that gas bruh puffing. that. that goo goo that herb baby that. that weed huffing that nasty nasty.

you know we huffing that [ __ ] you know. mr mcgregor's gunpowder dog i'm talking. about marijuana. i'm talking about that puff puff pow. i'm talking about that poo poo poo poo. to your brain that dope weed onward. i was watching the podcast of the. [ __ ] ladies night one. whatever the [ __ ] that was yeah it was. ladies night brother. onward watching that [ __ ] just now you. said what do you think is going to go. away.

in the near future um talking about. people getting their temps taken [ __ ]. like that right we were talking about. people last on. last episode we're talking about people. getting their temperatures taken when. you go to an event. you know you go somewhere and now in the. future they might you know. take your temperature check if a snot. they might. you know touch your kid's little ass or. something see if it's hot. see if you bringing in a little timothy. or whatever with that hot ass. because that you can't do it you can't.

do that you're not going to be able to. do that as well. you bring in that up temperature temp. tempeh. it's not going to go over well with. others. let's hear more brother thank you for. the call uh what's going to go away. i think you know you're not from texas. like i am you know but they probably had. 10 or 15. mexican restaurants in louisiana what's. going to go away though. is chips and queso and chips and salsa. sun. that [ __ ] is done homie that's not gonna. be on the menu no more son.

unless you get it individually it's not. an appetizer number one. you know what i'm saying because what's. everybody doing they're getting the. chips bringing chips to the dip. putting it straight in their mouth going. back to the chips going back to the gift. put it back straight in their mouth. damn you know lean with it rock with it. huh. no you can't sanitize every time you. touch a chip you know what i mean. them chips are just gonna be too salty. after a while so. yeah r.i.p to rrp the queso insults the. gang gang. gang bro man wow i hadn't thought about. that. yeah you can have to each person will.

have to bring a couple of their own. chips from home. but yeah you can't have that group you. can't have that that that swimming pool. in the middle of the table. that little cheese [ __ ] strip mall in. the middle of the table and everybody's. just scooping in getting this picking up. a pair of adidas or picking up a pair of. uh. you know motorola or something or get. some speakers or some [ __ ] chinese. food. that chang chop you know. that's going to be interesting man yeah. that could be one thing that could go. away.

now you got to bring a couple chips from. home or something you got to write you. know your name on a chip. darren you know little ricky. and a little ricky got four chips you. know and darren got nine chips darren's. big ass got nine chips. and hector hector over there and you. know he. you know chips running his family so he. got 40 chips. come on hector no you got 40 chips bro.

shoot the nine pointer papa and i can't. imagine y'all aren't doing. swinging and there's a lot of swinging. out there in the midwest too especially. in missouri. oh do you encounter any of that hey. do you hear any stories of it is there. any no actually. if there's mostly what i see is men that. are single out there picking up. the lot lizards okay you know and. they'll get what they want and then send. them on their way. and then they stop to the next truck you. got to worry about them girls sometimes. because i've been told that they can. actually lay underneath.

your trailer and as you're coming out to. say. if you're a man you're standing out. there taking a piss they cut your ankle. they can cut you. cut in the back of the end yeah like on. their hands rub your ass just like. hostile. and that's you got to watch them i've. watched them. at night when i'm just pulled in and. it's two o'clock in the morning. and it's been raining i'll see you know. it's it's actually raining. there's a woman walking around a pair of. shorts and high heels. and she's tapping her door well it's. dark. can't really tell that helps but you see.

her you know going from door to door to. door to truck to truck to truck. and then the next thing you know she. disappears for about 20 minutes and then. she's out again. you'll see a light on in the truck. that's the dome then you know they tell. us. ah dome uh-huh uh-huh i know what you're. doing uh-huh. and then she'll come out but i've seen. them walk around. the trucks like they're looking for [ __ ]. right. or maybe they're going to disconnect. something or. pull something you got to watch them.

because you don't know what they're. doing. started running into the same fella that. in a car. right up alongside of me just grinning. and waving. you know from his car and i'm like hey. how you doing. and i'm driving on you know next thing i. know he's blown his horn. so i glanced down and he's got his junk. hanging out oh wow okay. his penis huh yeah oh yeah then he backs. off. okay then he comes back up alongside of. me again he's grinning even bigger this. time. oh yeah his pants are down to his knees. this time okay.

well i'm sitting here just driving you. know like literally wanting to put my. hand next to my face you know and just. kiss here. because i'll slow down you know for them. to speed up a little bit then they'll go. back and then they'll. keep alongside of me the whole time no. matter what i'm doing oh yeah regardless. of the traffic that's going on around us. it's just you and them in the world. right. slow down i saw this guy five separate. occasions. same stretch of 65 in india indiana. and i named him jerk off jim oh yeah. he's out there huh he painted his.

steering wheel. yes he did what color the white. [Music]. that body glaze i bet damn nasty. so you can now you can see his penis now. can you see from the tr. from your oh yeah it's the perfect view. you can see over to the driver's side. i can see everything wow inside of a. vehicle. a four-wheeler so if i'm driving right. and i have my penis. out yes can you and you're in a uh.

in a rig yes how can you see my wiener. can you see it. from through the front window no it's. from the side of your side window the. passenger side. you can see from the passengers from. overwhelming me wow. so you're passing me in the fast lane. i'm in the slow lanes two lane highway. like i-65 is through indiana yeah i. could see everything inside of your. vehicle your back seat. front seat driver so if i put my penis. out you could see it i could see. everything that's awesome i could almost. count the hairs. oh wow.

almost hell yeah i didn't know y'all had. such good size oh it's a hell of a view. it's the upstairs view from you know. seeing y'all from downstairs. it was like remember when you got one of. those shitty uh those sprint phones. those next tails or whatever. but you could only you could call people. but then you could just. talk to also you could talk to one. person. you could call anybody you wanted but. then you'd be in the middle of a call. like yeah everything's going good. every and then uh your cu your cousin.

or somebody fire department whoever the. only other person that had to walkie. your girlfriend she's like we need some. [ __ ] milk. and you'd like honey hold on hold oh. hold on buddy. remember that thing that next tail. we need some [ __ ] milk randle. you're like oh oh [ __ ] oh hold on damian. oh. must be lines must be crossed up.

and then you slick sneak uh click over. psalms hey i'm sorry i'll be right there. the uh the uh there's a long line. there ain't no [ __ ] line you're lying. oh sorry man i gotta go bro remember. that [ __ ] next tele [ __ ] was bright. horns dude. it looked like it looked like you they. had it colored because it looked like.

you were gonna need to be rescued. like any time you get that bright. colored [ __ ] bro that's [ __ ]. a lot of real poor like sail racks have. like real colorful bright [ __ ]. like oh look at this uh don't you want. this hot orange. and this [ __ ] is hot orange like the. hottest orange you can get is three. dollars. three dollars and four 40 cents for this. 7xl uh. and it's like a [ __ ] v-neck.

v-neck in the front turtleneck in the. back you're like what. and it's hot hot orange bro and it's. always usually a it's only a black dude. could wear it. let's be honest bro only a black dude. could wear it and they'll look good in. it man. it'll be triple lime that's the color. you'll see on the thing it'll be bright. bright green. the kind of [ __ ] like you can't the guy.

like if you drive past it on the. interstate it's obviously the definite. manager of the guy who is doing the. construction. it's that it's like triple lime. and it's size 14 double medium bro. and that [ __ ] got two arms in the front. it's got an arm out the back. for exhaust like heat exhaust this [ __ ]. is. i don't know what we're talking about. bright colors they got bright colored. [ __ ]. and it's mostly it's predominantly a lot.

of times for the urban community let's. be honest bro cause they look good in it. you know if white people wear really. bright colored [ __ ] they look like they. need to be rescued. for real talking look black people wear. something mode that's triple lime. oh ernie got that triple lime hitter on. oh whoa. he must be getting married you know. oh he got that triple lime [ __ ]. overcoat. with that double vanilla cumber bun bro.

oh he must be. he must be doing a wedding i don't know. what a crepe is but i didn't care once i. saw this lady working there i said all. right. you know i'll lead him until you know. she and i are married if i have to. um they had a girl in there and i saw. her and. you know i made some small talk and it. was. it was awkward because we both had masks. on you know uh. having a mask on. it's kind of like the beginning of like.

um shrek or whatever. you know because you don't know how. anybody really. you're not getting the full package. you're just kind of getting that. japanese package of somebody. you know kind of snout up or mid snout. upwards. you know you're kind of getting that um. you know like everybody's kind of a. desert nine. you know when they got that middle. eastern.

you know a lot of middle eastern women. they wear the. kind of that word yarmulke whatever it. is that. that muffler you know they wear that. front muffler you can't see them. i was in uh saudi arabia one time at the. airport. and they had a man there and. fat fella i'll be honest with you really. was and i had. if i could think of another word to. describe him i would use it.

but i cannot and this one this man was. what you would call a fat. fella and he uh had about five women. with him all. of his wives and they all had on that um. you know just that little kind of. they're all wearing like a what's behind. door number one kind of curtain right on. their face you know you can't see them. all. so that's called that desert nine you. know where that desert eight everybody's. kind of a desert nine when you can only. see the eyes. so she said i don't know what she said. she might have who knows she could have.

been calling the police. but i was like oh do you you know have. um maybe we should watch the fight. sometime. and and that was kind of weird because i. didn't. i don't even know kind of how she. responded if she was like yeah or maybe. or. um and then i was like oh do you have a. boyfriend. and that's how i said it too like you. have a boyfriend like i just. got so just i was just strung up.

you know just like when you see a rabbit. and he's got one of his legs caught in. the uh. in that wire you know do you have a. boyfriend. and that's how i was verbally you know i. was a verbal. kind of hung rabbit and then she'd like. given me like my plate and. fork and knife that comes with your food. that you order and you just go sit down. at your table and then it comes out. and i was the only person in there so. now i have to sit and i. this is where i really messed up i sat.

facing the counter. i sat facing her at the counter and then. i had to sit there and just eat a crepe. which is the loneliest saddest thing you. can eat as a rejected man. it almost feels like one of those. japanese game shows like oh you lost you. eat the crips you know. and so i'm sitting there just eating. this sad. every bite tasted like this girl did not. like me um.

but i did it i did it i went in there. i asked her out i didn't get. she didn't i there was no option. and i asked her her name again and then. i. sat and point. blank ate a crepe in front of this woman. very very sad so i went to the park this. morning to get a little bit of heat a. little free heat from the sunshine you.

know. a little bit of that vitamin d straight. from the vitamin g-o-d. you feel me i'm talking straight off the. tip of the lower the sky. and just catch that free heat right in. my face and neck. this man heard this old man he's like. char he goes charlie get over here. charlie get over here. and i thought it was too you know. kind of drug-induced or you know. drug-induced homosexual men doing.

uh you know splitting up a. you know a gram or a vial of uh. vile of speed but then i look over in. this man. who i'll be honest this man looked like. duty bro. this man looked like just man just real. just just. duty duty and he's yelling at this dog. because the dog smelled something or saw. this and the dog he's over there he's.

investigating. you know he might have a little bit of. hound in him or a little bit of uh. investigator gadget or whatever that. guy's name was. remember that show but the the. the dog he's you know he's sniffing on. an orange peel or doing something you. know we're smelling a um. you know a park needle or something or. whatever. and a man's like sharks get over here. just yelling at him and charlie first of.

all charlie was way healthier this man. looked like. just first of all looked like somebody. had shaved his whole body with like a. one. or like a one and a half he had a fade. like on his arms shoulders everything. great just. real bristly looking dude kind of guy he. looked like he was. like a pipe cleaner you know what i. remember pipe cleaners. remember in school sometime if you was. one of the weirdo kids and they at the. art class they would give you these pipe. cleaners and say hey do something with. this.

and you'd be like what do i do it like. ah we don't know just do something. we hoping you graduate soon because. nobody could stand you you know. and um and yeah this dude. i'm thinking man this dog and then so. then the dog comes over by me. and now i'm kind of pissed because i'm. sitting there trying to do a little bit. of um. legal work or whatever you know writing. stuff and drawing. and this man's charlie leave him alone. so i said dude i said charlie ain't.

messing with me man. i said you messing with me by yelling. you're messing with everybody. sir. and [ __ ] it just i don't know man and. the dog went over to him and i just felt. like. i don't know when charlie left dude i. felt like damn bro. charlie don't want to be with that man. and that man treats him bad that's how i. felt dude. so but yeah charlie was like a big dog. and i'll be honest i slept on a piece of. nicorette so.

charlie [ __ ] get that hit from daddy. right there. so that guy can kiss my ass bro what i'm. saying is you can't your dog is not a. slave he doesn't work for you. okay you can't you know say this do this. charlie get in the house. no ham hocks charlie nothing for you. you can't be like that to an animal you. got to treat an animal a little bit. kinder i think. yeah it's interesting uh i think people. you you know they look to santa.

i think as like a symbol of like hope. and. oh yeah love you know a symbol of magic. if you think about children most. children are takers. they take stuff they want stuff given to. them oh yeah. there are very very few children that. are what i call. giver children they want to give to. other people. they don't want something for themselves. so when i when. that child when i see that child.

and we're done with the visit i bring. the parents in. and i said i said and that's when i make. the. the gift of the bell to the child i have. the parent and the child there and i'm. explaining to them what's. what's transpired and i'll tell the. child that every time you ring that bell. i'll be thinking about you oh i love. that yeah. you know there's something special about. just being that uh it's almost to get. like you're like a middle man for um.

yeah it's like you're like a middle man. for some of the joy that's out in the. world. right it must feel pretty interesting. sometimes it is it's it's a. it's a lot of responsibility but. it's uh gratefully accepted. responsibility. amen yo this is kenny calling from. portland. i had an idea here i have a playstation. 5 that i got from my work. but i would like to offer that to one of. your struggling single moms. so if you have any ladies out there that.

are. trying to make your kid happy on the. holiday i have a playstation 5 that i'll. be willing to. donate gang gang gang gang man thank you. kenny that's. man that's where it's at we would love. that it's that time of year man it's. that time of year to. to extend a little if you can you know. the other day i was. i was eating breakfast here and i ended. up paying for. the breakfast there was a couple sitting. outside and when i walked in the guy. said. i said hey and him and his girlfriend. were just visiting in town and so before.

i left i just bought my meal bought. their meal. and i'm just saying that because about. two weeks later. i'm across the street eating breakfast. at a different place. and we get up to pay and leave and they. said oh somebody bought your meal. i said dang didn't know who i don't know. who it was. you know some damn scrooge mcduck got. warm-hearted you know he grilled his own. a orders with the lord. he got heated in the heart and somebody. bought me that damn meal. that's caramel roulette and that karma. will really this.

this the time of year when karma is out. there karma got on the zoot suit. karma's listening to 21 savages karma. got his nose hairs clipped out he's out. there. this when karma is paying attention so. it's a great time to extend that olive. leaf to somebody. how can i help what can i do and when i. get up in the morning this week what's. been making me feel good. is just saying what can i do what can i. do for somebody that's not me. so anyway what a small little world how. that worked out but thank you kenny.

we'll find somewhere we'll find someone. who can use it i think. so hit the hotline if you have some. suggestions and we did we had some calls. that came in man. uh here was the first one that came in. hey this is mike from. philadelphia pennsylvania i just wanted. to maybe nominate my my sister. she works really hard she has two kids. one's eight one's ten. they're real big in the video game so i. thought that would be perfect for them. they're great kids and she's an awesome. mom so thank you mike i didn't mean to. cut you off there man but um. yeah we're gonna we'll connect you with.

kenny and um you know that's candyman. that's kenny helping out there those. things are hot commodity bro damn. dude somebody would be dying of cancer. you offering some plasma they say no but. you hit them with that. and they want it bruh let's hit some. other people up hey theo. it's western minneapolis man i have i. got an excellent single mom that uh. she's uh working to get her kid back she. has him about half the year right now. and she's gonna have him over christmas. she has a really great kid who was a big.

gamer and. she manages a gas station so she's out. there grinding every day but. amen brother i think we can help out. with that um let me give you a buzz. right now. hello what's up wes bro how you living. man. good who's this this is theo man theovon. the comedian. oh get out of town man what's up. brothers. not much brother's looking for the lord. you know me boy amen. amen yeah i appreciate your call man. it's really nice of you to call just. that you left on the uh hotline.

we'd already found somebody already had. called before they got the ps5 but. there's a company that helps us out. sometimes this company called magic mind. and they wanted to offer uh. a ps4 or i think it's a ps4 and a. television maybe i don't know if the. kiddo would. you know if that would be something that. they would like man that would be. amazing dude you have no idea how. awesome you just made my day. dude you made me feel good man i. appreciate it man have a good day dude. and we'll circle up with you bro and. thanks for thinking of somebody else man. awesome peace all right gang i feel my.

name is tim. carter i figure let's call in right now. and see what we can do. hello hey what's up man this is theo. vaughn bro uh. i'm calling just about you called a. couple um about the podcast about the. we're talking about the playstation yes. sir my gosh. i wow how are you thank you so much for. calling oh yeah man no worries man thank. you for calling bro. so we gave away the playstation somebody. else had called before you but we wanted. to we want to do something nice.

maybe we could just at least set you. guys up with like a gift card or. something maybe to best buy or to some. other place wow theo i just i just don't. know what to say man i just. i wasn't expecting this at all and i. think that's a great idea. and that will be just such a great. christmas this is her first christmas in. portland and that'll oh. that will just be so awesome so awesome. thank you. man thank you bro i don't know these. people but it's just you know it's your. own kindness and your own thinking about. somebody else and. it's funny how one thing like that kind. of spurns the other ones you know.

all right gang tim bruh be good man okay. thank you all right cheers brother. hi theo this is susie again um i'm. a single mom i have been looking for. this ps5 everywhere and i'm trying to. get it for my daughter for christmas. she's been doing. really good in school here in michigan. we've been shut down because of the. rhona. mm-hmm i feel you baby that dirty rona. bro that's that long aids baby let me. call you. see what we can do hello hey what's up.

who's this. hey it's susie what up. suzy. how are you mara ceo's on the phone. i want to thank you first of all just. for for thinking to somebody else and. just. you know calling and leaving your. voicemail i thought it was really sweet. of you. the problem is we already gave away the. ps5 but i wanted to try and think of. something. else that we could do that you think. would be nice. oh my god i don't even know what to say.

how about this. i know it's kind of impersonal but what. if we just gave you like a 500. gift card and you could do something. nice for you guys something that you. wanted to do. i know it's not a ps5 but um. no i appreciate it so much we've we've. been. struggling i mean i try to you know you. know my. attitude is always positive but just to. hear from you. is just wow. well that's sweet of you thanks thank.

you for making my day and thanks for the. nice words. theo thank you thank you so much merry. christmas to you your family. like i love your podcast i can't wait to. hear the next one oh my god i don't even. know. wow thank you for the phone call you're. welcome susie. thank you you bet we love you bye-bye. hey pl uh my name is caroline i'm from. gastonia north carolina right outside of. charlotte. my nephew was diagnosed with cancer um. like a year and a half ago but i was.

just listening to. your podcast and i heard about the um. the guy. that has the playstation he was wanting. to donate. and um my sister she has two kids. and her oldest son adam he just passed. away in. october from cancer he was 16 and then. she has. a younger son andrew and um. he will be 15. he just lost his brother. and. i know she was trying to find like the. new xbox or the new playstation to give.

to him for christmas that would kind of. be special but. well thank you so much for this uh see. if i can get a hold of you. hey caroline hello hey what's up this is. theo i'll call you called uh into the. podcast the other day from the podcast. oh my god yes how are you. [ __ ]. [Music]. oh damn well look just you know what i'm. saying keep your clothes on shorty i. want to get accused of nothing.

you know oh my god i was literally just. talking about you. i'm like speechless right now my face is. like pulsating. you might be on drugs i think damn i'm. not. i feel like i am but i'm not okay well. look it sound like. if your damn faces pull satan you might. want to g up a little bit you might want. to. you know you might want to use a skin. softener or something.

no i just wanted to say your message was. so sweet i thought it was very nice of. you to call and uh. i think playstations are just all sold. out so we're committed to help find like. a um. xbox do you think the kids would want. that or do you think we should just wait. and. whenever playstations come back he would. prefer an xbox if he got an xbox he. would. poop in his pants well damn y'all's. whole family need to tighten up it. sounds like but uh. we're going through stuff all right. y'all be good all right stay off them. percocets girl you know it.

okay i will okay deal deal deal and i. will too. okay okay good okay deal. bye oh man that's great. that's sweet i think we got i think we. got to a good space here. i think we got to a good space. you know these are our lives man these. are our lives.

these are our lives and we got to live. them. you know we got to live them. so if you're struggling with some. motivation i i you know i really hope. that you. find it and and just take that next step. take a small step and a few small steps. make a big step. and a few big steps. make a real distance this is our lives. you know and we all have different ways. that we go about fighting. um but uh.

but we don't give up you guys be good to. yourselves man. and i'm gonna do the same for me man we. deserve it brother gang. i'm just sitting on your front porch. wondering how could i be. so far from my home. and my mind is somewhere else but when i. find it i'll patch up where it's. [Music].

i'll been and tell you my story.