Tommy Lee | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #522

I got a few tour dates to tell you. about. Wallingford, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Banger, Maine, Monton, Canada, Las Vegas, Nevada will be back for the. USC LSU football weekend. Oklahoma City, Northern Little Rock, Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri, Sou. Falls, South Dakota, Lacrosse, Wisconsin, Green Bay, Wisconsin, Molen, Illinois. You can get tickets for those.

at the von.com/tou. Thank you so much for your support. Today's guest is a drummer for one of. America's greatest rock and roll bands. ever called Mly Crew. You know it. And. he also loves Japanese shrubbery. We're. going to learn some things about this. little cat. Um he spent years behind the. drum kit and he still gets it done. Um. you know him and I'm happy to get to. today's guest is Mr. Tommy Lee, shine that light on me.

I'll sit and tell you my stories. Shine. on me. and I will find a song I sing. [Applause]. I [ __ ] dude I got a ear like one of. my ears I can't hear. I think there's.

something like I don't know what. happened to it. It's just been getting. I'm at the age kind of I feel like where. if something starts like breaking you're. like am I going to go get it fixed or am. I just going to. Dude, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I I get it. I get it. I'm like my. Well, I have a reason for my [ __ ]. you know, breaking down slowly, but. yeah, you just. But I'm like, you know, [ __ ] it. Do I. fix it or do I just leave it? Yeah. I just say what a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it kind of fits in with your vibe, too. You're like, I can't. Yeah. Should Tommy. be able to hear at this point? Probably not. Does he still deserve all of his senses? That's what a lot of people would. probably, you know, dude. That's. hilarious. Uh, but yeah, my shit's just. like I don't know what's going But then. I'm like, "Yeah, do I go get this [ __ ]. fixed or am I just like this is the part. of my life where one of my ears is gone, you know, or one of my I just can't hear. anymore, you know, out of one ear.". What What happened? Did you. I don't know. Did something blow up or just like lots.

of loud music or. No, I think just uh I don't know. Could. have just been listening to some chick's. [ __ ] I don't even know what. happened to me, you know. Or just Yeah, I don't know. It just and I just haven't. got had time. It's all good, man. It. just is what it is, dude. That's cool. Yeah. I think it's been it made some of. my dreams kind of weird. I keep having. this. Do you ever have any like. recurring dreams? No, it's the [ __ ] weirdest thing. I. don't really dream a lot. Yeah. My wife dreams all the time. Every more.

every morning she's like, "Oh my god, I. had the craziest dream." And she's she's. like, "You don't dream." I'm like, "I. you lived one. I just You know what I'm saying? I'm. living it. Maybe if you get to live a dream, it's. like God's like, "Hey, we're not doing. You can't play both sides of the net.". You know? That's awesome. It could be. It could be. because dreams Yeah. I think your Yeah. I don't know. That's kind of. interesting. Yeah. Um Yeah, dude. You got to live. such a dream, man. Do you ever like do.

you ever look at your life and you think. like, did I do it well enough? Did I. service the opportunity enough? Like is. there ever like some thoughts like that. kind of. Well, you're getting all heavy. Is that weird? I don't know. I think mostly I walk around. with a shitload of gratitude. I'm I'm. I'm constantly pinching myself like. [ __ ] I still get to do this. I still. get to rock the [ __ ] out. Go do this. Go.

do that. Like I I get to live, man. So, I've just been really grateful lately. cuz. could not be here. Yeah. You know. Oh, and yeah, you guys definitely Yeah. And [ __ ] I want a spaceship, man. I I. want to hang around long enough because. I'm still pissed, dude. At the year. 2000, we were supposed to have [ __ ]. Where where's my Where's my [ __ ] my. machine?

I want to [ __ ] just go, dude. Going. to Theo's. I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. You think Yeah. You think at. this point we'd be able to email people. to each other or something or like, you know, email people. Yeah. Or I think like send it. Yeah. Yeah. Just send it. Like a Door Dash shows up and you're. like, "Oh, you're two houses off." And. you just for them. That' be crazy, bro. That'd be pretty great, actually. That.

would be. But sometimes I wonder like if they had. that travel where you could like like uh. warp or whatever, you know, like you. could just go in a machine and then it. you know, you you you next thing you. know you're in Cedar Rapids or. something. Was like I wonder like would. you get f like would some people show up. in their [ __ ] arms or like it's like. you know there's like a glitch or. whatever. Something failed in the transmission. You know what I'm saying? Like you have a show like that night in. De Moines and they [ __ ] no arms. Yeah. God, [ __ ] dude. Send me back. Yeah, try this again.

Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, that would be the crazy part. because sometimes you would just have to. go do like if it's during Christmas and. the holidays are so busy and like, oh, you got the wrong arms and they like mix. you up or whatever, you show up with. like some big [ __ ] BLM arms or. whatever. You're like, oh [ __ ] dude. Dude, you know, I don't know what I don't even. know what I'm talking about. Tommy Lee, thanks for coming in, man. Thanks for having me, dude. This is. [ __ ] cool. Yeah, it's really cool, man. Crazy, dude. Just because like I. mean obviously like so many people tell.

you all the time just you know Dr. Feelgood just so much of just like I. mean my brother would beat me beat me to. you guys' music. That's crazy. Yeah, I was the drum dude. I was a snare. for my brother and it was awesome. though. But it was loving, you know, like you know. Oh, but it was just Yeah, it was just so. crazy. Like we used to get all the. rocker magazines and like um they'd. always have like you know like the. pictures in there look so cool and the. stories would be so kind of vague but. somebody would be kind of bleeding or. something you know.

remember those magazines dude? Yeah. Uh yeah. like they're gone. Kegar or no what was one? Kenn um Kagan. No. Is that it? Oh Karang. Karang. Yeah. Kang was the European version. Yeah. Yeah dude. Somebody got Karang in our. neighborhood somehow and we would. Corang. And then what are some other ones that. we got? That [ __ ] was so great though. Circus. Yeah, Circus was another one. Circus. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It was so great when those.

came in. Kang, you guys are touring still. Yeah, we're we're kind of finishing up. um um for the remainder of the summer. We're just doing uh uh some festivals. here and there um until I think. September we finish up, but um we're. still finishing up that last stadium. tour, but the summer is now just uh some. festivals kind of assorted here and.

there, which are kind of fun, man. Like. yeah, it's it's different to um how do I. explain it? these they're kind of like. you probably are familiar with this kind. of like one-off stuff because you're. doing comedy. You like fly in, do a. show, come back, you know. Um where on a. tour you get on a bus and you you know. come [ __ ] home for a year and a half. Yeah. Um. um so these weekend ones are fun. We. just did one this the last weekend and.

literally left from Van Eyes, went to uh. May not played the show and was back 24. hours later and it was just like this is. kind of cool too. Yeah, it's weird to kind of start up and stop. like that. Yeah, but it is cool because you're in and. out. Yeah, it's weird. It's like there's. times when it's like I'll be out on the. road and I'm like, "God, I want to be. home." But then but then I'll be home. and I'm like, "I want to be out on the. And then sometimes it gets to a point. where it's like I don't even know if I. want to be home anymore. Dude, that get that's the exact the.

grass is always greener. If you're out. on the road, you're like, "Fuck, man. I'd kill to sleep in my own. bed." And then when you're at home, you're like, "Fuck, I want to get back. out.". Yeah. You're like, "My own bed is my. happy." You're like, I got to get out of here. [ __ ] I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's It's definitely uh. You find it hard to to to relax? Do you. like to just keep keep it moving? Yeah. I want to keep going. Yeah. I get that vibe from you like. I want to keep going cuz I think you. start to do some things you're like oh. well what else could I do you know and I.

don't think you know that until you do. some till some little opportunities come. you're like oh wow this is possible. you're like well what else could I do. what else am I capable of am I using my. skills to the best you know. right. um. trying to be better man. trying to be better always I get it. what what keeps you uh how do you like. relax these days like what kind of calms. you out. dude about. like seven or eight years ago, I got. into.

[ __ ] bonsai, man. And that's like. that's been like like a lifesaver, you know? It started out as just a. fascination from all the times going to. Japan. And I'd always go to the Japanese. gardens and be like, "Fuck, this is this. is the most peaceful, beautiful [ __ ]. I've ever seen in my life. H how do I. give me some? How do I How do I. Give me a couple grams of that,

right, dude? It's kind of like nature by. the Graham.". It is. It is. And I just started [ __ ]. watching YouTube videos on on the art of. it and and the practice of it and how to. do it. And I I just I just went down a. rabbit hole. And I found it to be the. most relaxing, fulfilling, you know, get me close to nature [ __ ] to. like just even me out cuz I'm I'm like. you, too. I'm pretty [ __ ] hyper. I. don't really like to sit still much. But.

that was like I found my. I found my thing, man. Oh, wow. This is. it? Yeah. I thought they were way smaller than. that. That's you. Yeah. In the white shirt. Yeah. My god, dude. I thought that was a lesbian. No offense, dude. I know a lesbian, but. yeah, I thought I like holy. Sorry, bro. I was like looking for you, dude. Oh,

that's awesome. And this one came with. real. This is This is in Nashville. Uh right outside of Nashville. That's at. uh uh Bejorn's. uh nursery. Oh, wow. He's he's now moved on to Japan. Um but. yeah, that's kind of a that's that's on. the large size bonsai. There's there's. much I mean there's little little guys. and damn. medium large. So what is it? Does it feel cuz it.

almost looks like right there like it's. almost like a god. Like you're a god. over this little. It's like that's what. it looks like right there. Cuz I never. realized how it looks like a whole big. tree just compact. Huh. Yeah. And that's basically what it is. I. mean people go up into the mountains and. they'll dig out, you know, 20, 30, 40, 50 year old trees and bring them back, cut them down, cut them all back and put. them in a small pot and just kind of. start over. And that's years and years.

of work. Really? Yeah. I mean, so it takes a lot of work to get a. bonsai to really grow. Yeah. To look looking like that. A lot of years. Wow. Yeah. So it's kind of Yeah, you're. right. It's it's a project and you're. it's it's. you're calling it godlike, but like it's. you know, you're putting in a ton of. love and your time and everything into. this tree that you're you know, it's. like a person almost.

Oh, yeah. I bet. it. So, there there's a lot there's a. lot more. gratification from just it being a tree. Yeah. For me, like I I just love all. that, man. Really? I got like I think. I'm at around 43 trees now. Like it's. I'm [ __ ] obsessed. Damn. Yeah. So, you're an addict. Really? Yeah. I'm an addict. Yeah. And do you keep them inside or where do. you keep them at? I bring them inside and enjoy them uh. like when the sun goes down.

Damn, bro. But most trees people that's. the first thing people the mistake they. make you know I don't know if you're. driving around you see the guy by the. side of the road in a van selling those. little bonsai. You ever see that that. [ __ ] driving to the beach or something? Oh yeah. If you're heading towards. Malibu or something on PCH. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um well people the. first thing people do is go like oh yeah. I got to get one. I want a bonsai. And. they put it inside and they [ __ ] they. kill all the trees.

That's the dude. Um, yeah, these are like, dude, these are junipers. and pines and [ __ ] like that. They don't. grow indoors. Oh, but these pe these guys don't tell. people that. I mean, there's very few. that will grow inside. You know, some of. the fus and. but that very few most most bonsai. trees. specimens grow go outside. So it says. right here, the practice of bonsai.

development incorporates a number of. techniques either unique to bonsai or. use in other forms of cultivation. Like. so you trim the leaves like Yeah. What. all the things you do to them? Yeah. you well I mean you're constantly. pruning, trimming, fertilizing, wiring like you. take the you know different gauge uh. wire and you you you're telling the. branches where to go you know styling. the tree all out with. um. it's you know you're.

you're sort of dictating how this. thing's going to you know. your vision of how the tree uh will, you. know, look its best. And is there a certain time when you go. do it, Tommy, or is it just kind of like. you're like, you know, I'm feeling this. would be something to do today? Like, how much of a responsibility is it as an. owner? I. It's daily, man. It's like it's like. it's like uh it's just part of the. program. And I I'll wake up and like rip.

some coffees and cigarettes and then I. go out and talk to the trees and chill. out for a while. Got to get the get the day started. right, man. Oh, for sure, bro. You're a grower and a. shower, dude. That's what's crazy, bro. I can't even believe that. Um, wow. That's fascinating. You'd you'd love it, man. I don't know. if you like tripping out and just. creating [ __ ] but. yeah, if you like out, if you like trees and.

you like creating, I love being creative. And the the wild. thing is once life gets busy, it's hard. to be as creative. It's hard to like do. as much. It's hard to be as creative, I. feel like. Did you ever feel like that. with um with touring and stuff? It's. like cuz I can only imagine for you. guys. I mean, it seemed like it was kind. of um once you like launched it was just. like a brush fire, huh? Um with with your band. Yeah. Yeah. Like [ __ ] man. Since.

kind of nonstop. Yeah. Since you know, I mean, it's it's. all you're always. [ __ ] doing something. If you're not. touring, you're in the studio making the. music. If you're not making the music, you're uh taking a break uh to start a. new record or that like you know what I. mean? You're always doing [ __ ] Um. so. was there choices? I don't know what the [ __ ] I'm getting. at, but. it's all right. I don't even know what. the [ __ ] I'm talking about.

It's okay, man. Um what's one of the. hardest parts about being about success. as a group? Did you find kind of cuz. success as an individual kind of like. you have partners and you have. teammates, you have people that support. you. Sure. But like as a group it's like there's. it's almost like you divided by four. So. or like or you know by however many. people are in your band. So it's like. [ __ ]. it just seems like it'd be so hard to. navigate to keep everything going to. maintain the success. that Yeah, that's um you're you're 100%.

right, man. Like anytime there's you. more people other than yourself. involved, balancing, you know, four, three other. guys and making that work is really. rare, man. Really, really rare. And it's. not easy. And somehow. we've managed to [ __ ] keep it. together. Like there's only there's only. a handful of bands that.

that are that are still doing it. Oh, you know, [ __ ] All of our our peers. just fell off here, fell off there. And. like that's what I was saying. I'm like. just really grateful because it. uh that kind of [ __ ] doesn't really. happen all the time. I don't really know. how to explain it. I'm just. Were you kind of the glue in it? Do you. feel like were you kind of a. peacekeeper? Like what was your kind of. role? Do you feel like or were you more. like part of the problem or you know or.

you know what I'm saying? Like cuz you. can be one or the other and some days. it's dayto-day. It's like some days I. know it's like okay today I'm part of. the solution and today I'm part of the. problem. Yeah, dude. I'm absolutely both. Absolutely both. But you got to have. that, right? I guess. I don't know. Some people are. good at just being part of the solution. I feel like. Yeah, that's true. That's probably the. better way. Yeah. But. I just don't know if Yeah. And I. But that's kind of boring though. Uh yeah. Oh yeah, for sure.

But I just Yeah. I can't imagine that. you guys survived that much. because so many bands just disappeared. So many of them people singers died like. um. Yeah. Even like Stone Table like Scott Wing, you know, like when I was growing up. like that was a crazy dude. Yes. That sound was just something else, dude. The best. I loved STP. Did you ever get to Did you guys ever. tour with them or No. Uh we never toured. with them, but we were on uh a couple of. festivals with them. Yeah. You know, that's that's what kind of.

where everyone meets up when you're on. festivals and it's like the Pumpkins, MLY Crew, STP, [ __ ] Van Halen, like. you know what I mean? That's where you. that's where everybody links up and. you're all. That's fun. The festivals are fun, man. Yeah. Cuz otherwise you're just kind of by. yourself, you know? I mean, you're with. your B, at least with the, you know, you're with your like co-workers and. your bandmates, but yeah, it's kind of a. Yeah, people think that there's like all. everybody always hangs out together, and. it just doesn't get to happen like that. a lot. No, pretty much only festivals, you.

know, when you're you're out touring. with another band, it's just you guys. Yeah. And. or Christmas parties. You ever have you. ever throw any sick Christmas parties? Like, did you ever have a party? Some. people have like, "This is the year. This is the time of year I throw a. [ __ ] party every year and it rocks.". Oh, whoa. Um, I mean, I've thrown some parties, but nothing like every year like you. know that like that this is the one. Do you do that? No. No. Ragers?

Oh, I mean I've thrown I mean a lot of. No, a lot of times I would just end up. getting drugs and doing them by myself. at home. That's the best. Yeah, it was like the scariest and the best. Oh, and it like I would I would like rip. some cocaine and I would be like, "All. right, man. I'm going to get my [ __ ]. together. Things are going to be. different." And then I would just walk. in the other room and I'm like, "I got. to go check on that cocaine." And I. would go back. Just one more before I go to sleep. Yes. And Yeah. That's the craziest, dude. The hardest.

thing to do is hide your cocaine in the. other room, dude. Yeah. God. And I would try to hide my cocaine from. myself, dude. I remember there would be. times I would even blindfold myself, right? And like yeah, walk around my. apartment like this, right, with the. cocaine in my hand and then kind of. throw it somewhere, right? Or like and. sometimes I would even I would get dizzy. and then just throw it like that while I. was spinning. So you don't know where it went. Yeah. And then dude, seven minutes later, dude, where the [ __ ] Oh, I would have moved.

everything from one side to the like f. just [ __ ] Oh, and you're in an. apartment, so you'd have to move. everything so quietly, dude. And when. you're high on cocaine, the sound, any. sound is the so dude. Oh my god. Cuz I think you don't want to not hear. maybe some cocaine in the distance. You're like, "Holy [ __ ] was that some. cocaine?" You know, but then it's like I get my skin starts. getting warm and it feels like my heart. is like, "H, I don't know if we're going. to keep beating or not." and you're. like, "All right, hold on. Let's let's.

let's calm down a little bit, you know, or let's write a will." Did you ever. write a will or anything like that? No. No. That's pretty heavy, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I was I guess even when I. was dying, I guess I was kind of a. chatty Kathy or whatever. But yeah, I. would [ __ ] write a will. I've written. probably Yeah. 16 17 wills over the. years. Oh my god, that's wild. Oh, sad. because I would feel bad, you. know, if somebody found me or whatever.

I'd want them, you know, oh, you have it all. kind of pinned out like, hey, sorry, you know, my bad I would start with. usually or something like that. Like I. don't know like cuz you wanted to ease. them into it, you know? Oh my god, dude. Did you like if when you. cuz we had the same sober date at one. time. You may not even remember it. We I. remember I went to a meeting one time. this probably about four years ago. And. it was at a house meeting in Beverly. Hills.

Yeah. And uh Yeah. Nice guy. It would let us. people use his home even if he wasn't. there. And um and we had the same I want. to say it was like October 17th or. something, but I could be totally wrong. And then I lost that at some point. Yeah. And I did too. Okay. You know what, dude? Here's the problem. Tell me what to do. Here's the problem, and maybe this is true for you.

Right when I get to a [ __ ] year, I'm. so excited that I [ __ ] did something. for a year. that I want to celebrate. Yeah. And so I only make it a year every. [ __ ] time because I'm so pumped. I'm. like, "Fuck yeah." And then I party and. then I'm like one. [ __ ] every time, dude. And you have long arms. So I bet raising. your hand in the meeting sucks the most, dude.

If you have like short arms like people. like, "Oh, I didn't even see him.". Yeah. But you [ __ ] throw that [ __ ]. giraffe up there. My god. Oh, dude. It is kind of It is kind of messed up. though cuz there is that level of. excitement at hitting one year that. makes you just want to [ __ ]. rearrange somebody's [ __ ] [ __ ]. you know? Yes. Um, yeah. You want to [ __ ] celebrate. because you actually [ __ ] did. something really good. Yeah. You know, you just [ __ ] I don't know.

You're proud. Yeah. You want to celebrate? [ __ ]. What? Um, do you remember the first sign. of cocaine you ever did or No. What? You remember the first time you ever did. cocaine or no? The fir the very first time I did. uh [ __ ]. No. Wow. I don't. I remember the first time I did acid, but I don't remember the first time I. did cocaine. Yeah. I can't imagine not remembering.

it, but that's that's awesome that you. don't. And you probably should if Yeah. I think people some probably look at you. and be like, "That dude, no way that. dude remembers the first time he did. cocaine.". Yeah. You know, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Do you remember? Yeah, I remember, dude. I was in Tucson. and this dude who used to bike to work. all the time, right? He was in his 40s. and that was a dead giveaway that he did. a lot of cocaine. Um, my buddy Dennis, he was a bus boy. like me, which was also a dead giveaway.

that this dude was obviously using his. money and extracurriculars, dude. And he would get all coked out and bike. to work in the desert. And I'm like, this dude's a [ __ ] animal, you know? And he had severe sunburn all the time. Whoa. And Yeah. And uh he took me to a party. and wasn't a party, it was just two guys. doing cocaine upstairs somewhere at a. apartment complex. And um and I walked. in and this dude comes up from doing. some cocaine and he only had one eye. I.

remember and I was like I thought like. in my head I was like, "Oh [ __ ] I. wonder if he like hit it so hard it just. like sucked his eye back into his hair.". Like that's where part of my brain was. and I was kind of scared and I was like. like young and they were all older. But. then yeah, we started doing some cocaine. and the guy had a bunch of free oranges. there because he uh I guess they had. some oranges nearby or something and um. yeah, I remember eating oranges and. doing some blow and then uh. yeah.

Yeah. So obviously pretty sad. Yeah. And you'd think God would be like, "Hey, this is such a lame experience. You're. not going to want to do this again.". But then it just like I don't know. There was times. Yeah. I don't want to. romanticize it too much because I don't. want somebody going out there and just. getting rid of their family right now. But it's like um. Yeah, there's some kid out there right. now gathering oranges. Yeah, I got to do this. Things are going to change. Um but yeah, then it just like sometimes it was fun.

I mean, if you were involved in like sex. or hooking up with it just added. excitement. It had like a dangerous. element, you know? That kind of [ __ ] was fun. There's some. famous comedy duos out there that really. get it done. I'm talking about Spade and. Farley, Key and Peele, uh, Sig Freed and. Roy, all of them. But what about the. perfect duo when it comes to building. your business? That's you and Shopify.

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this this girl that from my school, she. had it and uh [ __ ] what a [ __ ] trip, man. That [ __ ] was wild. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And you know, you immediately you. do all the [ __ ] that you heard you're. not supposed to do. Like, dude, whatever. you do, don't look in the mirror. Right. Where's the mirror? Yeah.

and. you know, like doing all the all the. dumb [ __ ] but um. watching your skin [ __ ] kind of. breathe a little bit. That [ __ ] was. always pretty cool. Yeah, dude. I remember [ __ ]. this. It's a long story, but towards the. end of the end of the night, I had like. a You remember you know that classic. Farrah Faucet poster. with the big big nipples. ripping through her bathing suit? Yeah. It was a It's a classic Farrahet.

poster. Yeah, that's the one, dude. God, boy. Yeah, that was on the on my wall. uh by the side of my bed and I just I. just remember looking over at at that. and just just. I couldn't figure out like those how. how are those nipples that [ __ ] hard? They're like, "Yeah, they're like sausages." And I would just. I just stared at them. I don't know why.

Yeah. Obsessed. Those [ __ ] NASA hats. Yeah. Look. I mean, those [ __ ] are. [ __ ] Those things are taking the Hey, the turkeyy's done, brother. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That. But that's crazy. Like was there a point. where you started cuz you once you. become like as famous as you guys have. have become in your lives, you get to. meet all the hottest chicks, dude. Yeah, you kind of do. And was that weird? Like if you get to. meet the hottest chicks, you're like,

"Holy [ __ ] these are the hottest. chicks.". You know, it's weird. cuz it's it's definitely I can easily. tell you what it's like not getting to. meet those chicks, right? Like I can. meet some chicks, right? I mean, like, but if you're like, "Dang, that's the. hottest chick, you know, and then you're. just there talking to him, you know, that had to be crazy.". Or were you good with chicks even early. on in your life? Um, not really. Not really.

That's kind of a kind of like. like more like lonery like I would just. like you know go I couldn't wait to get. out of school and go home and play my. drums in the garage. Oh, okay. Even if it was by yourself. Yeah. Like I I wasn't like really. chasing skirt, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Until later. Do What about your first kiss? Do you. even remember it or no? I do, dude.

Yeah. And the. I don't know what it is about this, but. it was the most romantic, most at least. in my eyes. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] I don't. even know. It was It was this little. girl down the street. Um, we used to. play all the time. We were friends. Um, I think I was probably. five. Oh, damn. You going to say 15? And I was.

like, God, I'm a [ __ ] late bloomer, dude. Yeah, dude. Loner boy. Um, yeah, like five. And And. we were playing we were playing like. hideand-seek or something in the front. yard and we ran. I was looking for her. and she was around behind these bushes. and there these bushes. They had this. like they had a bunch of these little. red berries on there and I don't know. what the [ __ ] came over me. And I was. like,

I picked a berry and I and I put it I. said, "Let's kiss." And I put the berry. in between our lips. And I don't know. what that was supposed to. signify or what that meant, but. you know, I don't know. I grabbed a. berry and I just thought it would be the. coolest thing ever to. Yeah. put a berry between our lips. And she did it. And we did it. And I will never forget. that [ __ ] for the rest of my life.

Kind of romantic. Really? It It's It's It's weird. Yeah, definitely weird, dude. In my eyes, it was like I was like I had. grown up. I was like, "Whoa, I just did. it.". Yeah. I did the thing. On to the next thing. Yeah. Like I don't know what the berries. was supposed to. I think it's also as well. It's kind of. a bait thing. It could be like the apple. from like the Bible or something, you. know? Who knows? Yeah. You don't know what little fables get in. your head. It could have been like um.

from um uh that thing where they got the. two animals eating the spaghetti or. something. You know what I'm talking. about? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or it could have been like it, you know, for all I know, maybe there was some. danger in there. Like this is poisonous. Oh, yeah. A little bit of Romeo and. Juliet. But we're going to pull this off. Like, you know, we we're above the poison. I I. don't know. Like, let's take a risk here together. Yes. Oh, I like that. Here's a 5 milligram berry. Yeah, [Laughter].

you know they like. maybe that's where my my my mind was cuz. there had. kind of a romantic you think growing up. a little bit. Full on. Yeah. Full on, dude. Just a sucker. A sucker for a woman that showed you. attention kind of thing. Well, just like. just a sucker for like surprise, for you. know, [ __ ] just romance, the chase, the. Oh, yeah. You know. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, dude. [ __ ]. Oh, yeah, dude. I remember seeing a girl. one time for the first time. I mean, I'd. seen my sisters, but they were kind of. whatever, you know. Um, but I remember I. remember just like we were on I was on. like what was it vacation or something. but somebody had driven us somewhere and. I remember. you were with your sisters. No, I I well I'd seen my sisters or. whatever but it never you know I'd never. had any like. you know that I'd never looked at them. obviously like as girls I guess really. Oh yeah they're more like your your. bros.

Yeah. They're just like my brothers with. like tits that I'll never see you know. which is fine. Which is fine cuz that's how God wants. it you know. I mean, if God wanted you. to see your sister's tits, he'd have. made him your cousin. That's what my. uncle used to say all the time. But he. was a [ __ ] weirdo. And he's he's. going to be I mean, I don't know if he's. doing fine or whatever. Whatever. But I. remember, dude, I went to Dallas or. Houston or somewhere. I don't know. It. might have just been across town, but I. went by this river and I was just. getting something from this picking up. rocks or just doing some things that.

kids do or something, trying to step on. a temple. And I looked over and there. was like a girl there and her family. might have been like 20 feet away. I. don't know. But in my mind it was just. me and her. And we was like, "Yeah." And. I was like, "What?". Whoa. Yeah. And then I was like, "Oh, she. Yeah. I've went into some negative. place, but it was just magical, man." It. was the first time I'd just seen like a. girl. And then when I got a little older. or my baby, did you kiss this girl or No, you were. just like, "Oh my god.

Wow. What is it?" Yeah. What is that? Yeah. It felt like I felt like a like a. like someone who was explor like like. Christopher Columbus and I just landed. on a new land. It was like I just never. I was like, "Oh, this is so different. looking at her.". Yeah. What is this? Where am I? And then I my babysitter gave me a ride. to summer camp one time. This was like. when I was probably 10 or 11. And she. reached over and put the seat belt on. me. And it was like the first time I'd. had like a w like a woman kind of like I. think caringly do something for me. It.

felt like and she turned on Bon Joy. and I was like. I just wanted her to play Bon Joy a. million times and I kept I and I kept. taking my seat belt off and she would. put it back on. and I was like this is [ __ ] living. My seatelt came off again, dude. Oh, every time. Just put your hand near my dick. again. Please bump up against it. I love it, dude. That was pretty. So yeah, some of that. stuff like Yeah. all that young. I loved.

all of that energy, man. That [ __ ] was. crazy. Um, yeah, dude. I'm trying to think of like. what other skills did you have before. you started uh playing tunes and stuff? Wait, wait. I want to know about your. first kiss. Okay, my first kiss, dude. Somebody. uh they had this girl in her neighbor. that kind of a bit of a chip tooth kind. of. She looked um kind of like Lloyd. Christmas. Remember from that movie? I don't know. Like uh. There he is right there. Lloy Christmas.

Okay. She had a little bit of that, right? No way, dude. Like he's got a real pitch. He He She. a full split. No, she's got kind of a sandwich. No. Zoom in more on that grill piece there, Daddy. See how it's kind of got that sand wedge. going. The notch out. Yeah, she had a little bit more of a. pitching wedge. Was a little bit more. there than than Jim Carrey has here. But. um some kids locked us like in a room. and made us kiss each other. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Some kids locked you two in.

a room. and said, "You guys better [ __ ] kiss. each other or you're not coming out.". And I think one of one of them called us. or whatever. I was like, "Well, what? At least hold on, dude. Well, all right, let us figure it out a. little.". But, uh, it was just [ __ ] you know, just older mean kids during the summer, just bored, you know. Oh, no. So, this is a bad experience. Oh, it was kind of bad. Yeah. I didn't. even think about that. It was kind of. bad. Yeah. Oh, [ __ ] And then I think after that I. think Oh dude, I never thought about it. Yeah. After that I was always so nervous.

around I was like super nervous around. him. Oh wow. But you know, you figure it out and. that's part of your deal, you know. Yeah. Yeah. You figure it out and that's part of. your deal. Um Yeah. Was it hard for you. to like be in love since your life was. going that fast? Like what was that. like? um. difficult because like uh like I just. always always say like just long. distance love is just it's it's.

extremely [ __ ] difficult to keep a. relationship when you're constantly. [ __ ] going. It's it's it's nearly. impossible like. you know. Yeah. you know, to and to be successful. at it for a few years here and a few. years there was pretty rare. Did you have any of your marriage. because you've been married a few times. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have any that uh you felt. like you had to go back and make an. amends to or something like that? Are. you still on good speaking terms with.

your ex-wives and stuff or is it. Yeah. Well, I'm cool with all of them. We're cool. Um. you know, it's all good. Did any of it. happen so fast? You're like, "Gee, I. don't even know what happened." Cuz I. can only imagine this your life, like a. lot of it just felt like it went so. because it just, you know, things get. going fast. Like my life sometimes gets. a little fast. I'm like, "I don't even. know what's going on anymore.". Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] flies, man. Um.

when you spending most of your time just. hanging on, you're like, "Dude, [ __ ]. Slow down. What What is happening here?". Yeah. Uh Yeah. Was it um what were your parents like? Were they pretty proud of you and stuff. or what was that kind of relationship. like with them? Was it weird becoming. famous and stuff and then like um the. you know what they were super super. supportive? Um. I guess you know I'm I'm really lucky. Um both of them were extremely [ __ ].

uh supportive. Um. well, you know I. Go ahead. No, I think Yeah, cuz I think. sometimes it's like um I don't know. Sometimes there's a weird thing about. fame where it's like or popularity where. it's like you almost feel like you don't. belong to you or anyone anymore a little. bit. Like does that make any sense to you? Like there's so much you out there that. you just belong to everybody. Yeah. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. No, I I I thought. Shoot, man. We should have never talked. You know, neither one of us knows what. we're saying. Damn, dude. Those guys are on some other [ __ ] bro. They'll they'll rewind and catch up. later. Don't be the mustard, catch up. Well, that's the [ __ ] dumbest joke. That's awesome. I love that one. Don't. be the mustard, catch up, dude. My. favorite joke I ever heard is, "What's. the last thing you want to hear when.

you're giving a [ __ ] to Willie. Nelson?". Uhoh. I'm not Willie Nelson. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. That' be the [ __ ] worst. What the. [ __ ]. That'd be the worst to be giving a. [ __ ] to Willie [ __ ] Nelson, bro. Dude. And he's like, I'm not Willie. Nelson. Who the [ __ ] are you, dude? Oh my god. Jesus, dude.

Um, dude, what did I Oh, I read. somewhere that you used to do. ballerining when you were young. Did. you? Is that true? Yeah, dude. Um, do you remember it? Taps tap dancing and ballet. Um, I do. remember it. And, uh, I mean, the [ __ ] was cool, you know? Like, tap dance is still pretty [ __ ] cool. I think. tap dancing was [ __ ] rad because. you're essentially making [ __ ] beats. Yeah. You're basically druming with your.

feet, you know, you It's rhythmic and it was. right up my alley. I loved it. And then. my sister. was taking ballet and I and I went one. time and I was like and there it's. [ __ ] loaded with [ __ ] just. beautiful girls. And immediately I'm. like, "Oh, I want to do this.". Yeah. So I dove right into both tap dancing. and ballet. And then that day happened. when you know it was like time for the.

big recital and your pictures in the. paper the local paper and I'm in a in. [ __ ]. tights. dancing with this beautiful girl and the. next day at school man it was just like. dude you are a what are you a f like. what the [ __ ] and I quit I quit dancing. the [ __ ] next day I was I was just. like I couldn't handle the peer pressure. But I'm like, "Wait a second. You all my friends at school are calling.

me, you know, but I got a chance. [ __ ] [ __ ] gay." But I'm like, "You. you all are [ __ ] spanking each other. in the locker room and whipping each. other with towels. Like I don't know. I. don't know where you're getting the gay. [ __ ] from because I'm here with these. girls. This is what's happening over here. [ __ ]. you guys. I can't believe I quit. That's. why I let them [ __ ]. I let them. dictate it. Oh yeah. So many kids do. I could handle the peer pressure, man.

Dude, if you'd have done ballet with a. dip in though, they would have [ __ ]. came around. I bet it if you'd have put. a [ __ ] big third baseman's chew in. your mouth, dude. They'd have been like, "This motherfucker's rocking." Dude, that's what I should have done. It is so true. Yeah. It was like so much. was dictated by what the neighborhood. kids felt, man. Yeah. And the easiest thing for somebody to do. is to call you a [ __ ] call you a call. you a [ __ ] just something to like kind. of shut you down. Yes. It's kind of crazy. That's how so much. of art like gets kind of really styied.

But I think in your condition it seems. like that like the rhythm found a way. out of your [ __ ] body. It was like, "Oh, it's got to come out of here.". Yeah. You know, absolutely, man. It's like Yeah. It's going to come out. of my hands or my wiener eventually, too. Cuz you Yeah, that that thing even. had a pay-per-view. But um dude, I loved. this, bro. When I was a kid, you know. what I used to watch, dude? I won't even. lie about it. Shirley Temple movies, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bro, I'll tell you the craziest story, dude. I went in, it was like one of the.

first auditions I ever got when I got to. LA. They're like, "All right, you need. to sing a song for us, dude." And I. No way. Swear to God, bro. And I think I'd just. been on something where I've been. watching some [ __ ] S Temple, dude. And um. Dude, I got to see this. You're like, "No.". And I sang as [ __ ] some song from. something she did. And these people. looked at me like, "God, this is just. something's uncomfortable here." Even. them, even they were like liberal. probably. And they were all closeted or.

re recloseted or whatever. It had been. like, you know, they were probably, you. know, whatever sexual. It was It was an audition, right? Yeah. And they're just like, "We need. you to sing now.". Oh, dude. And I just sang. Damn. Shirley Temple. song, dude. Oh, no [ __ ] way. What the. hell are you auditioning for? [ __ ] want you to. And [ __ ] them, bro. That's what y'all. get, bro. Y'all don't want to [ __ ] with some real. [ __ ] Y'all ain't getting any more of. it, dog.

Dude, so that's that, dude. But yeah, so you. went in there, you think also to meet. the ladies, huh? Oh, hands down. Hands down. I went into. and watched my sister and in her class. there was I was just like, "Oh, what am. I doing?". Yeah. Why am I not here? Yeah. I want to be doing this. Yeah, dude. Oh, that's a vest, man. Yeah. Um, what about your first time having. sex? Do you ever remembered or No. First? Yes. Oh, yeah.

Was it exciting or scary, do you think? It was It was both. Uh, yeah. Yeah, it. was all it was everything, you know, like all kinds of crazy [ __ ]. Was it a surprise or was it planned? Going down for the first time. Um, I guess it was I guess it was kind of. planned. Yeah. Um, it was with my next door neighbor. Yeah. Damn, dude. You didn't even. You couldn't walk down the street. without somebody trying to [ __ ] you,

huh? Oh my god, dude. I I I. Brenda. Brenda. Wow. Yeah, I can say the first name, right? Totally, dude. Um, and dude, and it was my and my We're. talking about my sister earlier, my. sister's best friend, like best friend. I I I bring Brenda into. uh my dad uh built a like a a room.

inside. like a bomb shelter or something of the. garage, like a a soundproof room where I. could play drums really and not like bum. him out. Yeah, totally. Um, uh, so I had this. like little like box inside the garage, a little soundproof room, and it was like my [ __ ] fort, you. know, and I was like, I man, I I really. like this chick. I I I want to like I. want to [ __ ] bang this girl. And and I So I brought her into my like.

my like spot. Yeah. And turn the lights out. Out completely. Was it completely dark? Yeah. Wow. Completely dark. Um, I don't know why, but. gosh, man. But, um, it's adventurous. Yeah. And we're [ __ ] going at it. You. know, it's there's all that weird [ __ ]. that's happening. You're like, whoa, this feels crazy. What's going on? She's, you know, all the we the feelings.

are going. And my [ __ ] sister walks. in and I'm I'm [ __ ] her best friend. and she just goes. and she she and she runs and tells uh my. mom. No. And my parents and. did they come in the room? Everybody. everybody's in trouble. We get put on restriction. We're not. allowed to see each other. Like it it. was a great and terrible experience.

cuz Romeo and Juliet almost because you. had to you couldn't see each other. anymore. Yeah. And we and we could see each other. from our bedrooms. No. And we just I'd just be like, "Hey, I'm a dreamer.". It's I swear out of a [ __ ] movie. Oh, sweet. It really literally just came into my. [ __ ] just seeing the kid just waving, dude. Gosh. Yeah. Kind of. It was both. It was all.

of it. Yeah. Do you remember your. Yeah, dude. I got caught into some. [ __ ] in town and um Oh, dude, the. crazy the first time I tried to get a. BJ, right? So, there was this girl who. was doing BJs, right? Whoa. And she was like the funniest girl in. town. Like, she always made me laugh and. stuff like that. And. and she and I liked each other. Oh, cool. And then uh but she had like. seen somebody else or something and then. she had do started doing BJs and I was.

like but then and then she liked me and. I was like oh my god dude what if I'm. the guy who like gets a BJ amongst our. people or whatever I was like I just. don't even know if I could handle that. like people being like hell was the BJ. or whatever. Oh you're getting [ __ ]. BJs now you little [ __ ] Just [ __ ] like. that. You know what I'm saying? just. [ __ ] Yeah. Like you just can never. win with humans, right? And so. people suck. Oh, it's unbelievable, huh? And so I remember like we were, it was.

some girl's birthday party. and we had planned to go meet behind a. tree, right? And so she went over there. and the tree she picked it was a pretty. narrow tree, right? And so she was going. to um I was going to receive the BJ. right behind the tree, right? So we go. back there. We're kind of talking and. it's [ __ ] so uncom like. all my [ __ ] blood is literally like. it's kind of hiding from my penis cuz my. blood and my blood's like when do we go? Send us in, you know? And I'm just like.

stay up here. We got to talk. We're. good. you know, and I'm like scoping things out and. there's like a dog like [ __ ] in the. distance just, you know, just under a. lamp light or whatever and there's some. kid you can hear playing games and it's. a birthday. And then she just starts. bjaying me, dude. And I'm like, and I'm. so nervous, bro, cuz I always would get. super nervous around women when I was. young. Yeah. And then the girl's mom comes out. Oh, no. And the tree wasn't that wide. And I.

could just imag I could see what the mom. was seeing. And she was seeing like me. kind of standing like this and I and the. girl like low but then like could you. know the tree was kind of blocking like. the actual act. And I just remember putting my [ __ ]. hands up like this. and just looking at the mom like I. didn't have anything to do like trying. to be like I don't have anything to do. with what does this mean? I don't know. I'm not doing anything. Yeah. Cuz I do like Yeah. These are the only. two hands she can see. So I was like.

I know. So like, but it was that third. hand, brother. That party hand. Yeah. Oh my god. God. And now. had you had you had sex? No. Before this is your first first sexual. first sexual real encounter, dude. I. touched a girl's tits in the movies one. time watching that movie Pumpkin Head. Remember that scary movie? No. It was called Pumpkin Head. It was real. scary. Oh boy. And uh I touched a girl's breast and she. had very hard breast. She was kind of.

built like a fella. Really? But pretty. cute. And um dude, some kid in pumpkin head. got a hand job. Part of it ejaculated. onto my [ __ ] arm. This kid Chad when. I was a kid. Forgot about that. No way. Yeah. And he died in a car accident. years later. Oh, what the hell? He was driving, dude. He was changing a. CD out of his CD player. He put a CD. into his mouth to put the other one in. Yeah. and he [ __ ] hit something and. it just like.

No [ __ ] way. Forgot all about that, man. It was. crazy. Whoa. Um, but yeah, but then I ended up having. sex behind a bowling alley in our town. like a couple you or. years after that, like three or four. years later. What h Okay, what happened? me and this. girl just like she had been having sex. and stuff and I was like wanted to have. sex or whatever and so we just tried to. find a place we could meet up that was. like near where we lived and we could. went back behind this bowl alley called. Tiffany Lanes and it's closed for.

renovations right now but um it. how do you know that. because I was there not long ago. oh [ __ ] and my buddies the mayor said. return to the scene of the crime dude. he said they're remodeling it yeah the. [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Tiffany Lane. Look at the Google reviews. Go to Google. reviews on there. Tiffany Lane. There you go, dude. In Louisiana. Yeah. Pretty awesome, dude. Whoa, dude. Oh, I'm here because of the who lost. something precious at this bowling alley.

so long ago. Oh my god, dude. But that's kind of crazy. So, yeah, I'm. excited that they are redoing it. Um, I'll go back, you know. But yes, kids were throwing rocks at us. and stuff, too. Dude, it was crazy. Wow. And so, yeah, it was hard to keep an. erection with like rocks coming like. rocks, you know, hitting off a sheet. metal and stuff like that, but I was. just so young that nothing could stop. you, you know. Yeah. And then I remember Yeah. I went into. some girl's bedroom in my neighborhood.

and I She seemed like an adult because. she smoked cigarettes and I She seemed. like she was 40, you know, she was one year older, but. just cuz she smoked and she smelled like. cigarettes, I was like, older woman. Yeah. Yeah. And um. Oh [ __ ]. And that was And then Yeah. But right. when we started to hook up, I was so. nervous I couldn't get an erection. And. then her mom thankfully came and busted. in on us. Oh jeez. Oh. And she saved it. Oh, I was like, "This has got to stop.". I just yelled. I said what the mom was. going to say. I thought maybe if I said. what she was going to say, like it would.

adjust that that I had done whatever, you know? I was like, "This has got to stop.". I was like, "I like this guy.". Like I think that's where I was at, you. know. Oh my god. Um, this episode is sponsored. by Blue Chew. If you want to be as hard as the summer. day is long, baby, then get your a blue. chew in your mouth and start nibbling, daddy. Get that lift in you, baby. I'll.

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month free. Visit bluechw.com for more. details and important safety. information. And we thank Bluechw for. sponsoring the podcast. Dude, did you I heard somewhere and you. can deny this, but um and it doesn't. matter either, but that you used to you. you would go on dates with women. You. would get paid to go on dates with. women. Yes. Was that a real thing that happened in. your life? Yes. Yes. And did you have to have like a overseer. for that? Like a pimp or something for. it? There was this there was this lady.

that was in our apartment complex. She. was like a madame. Oh, damn. Yeah. And she was she's running, you. know, uh her her thing and uh Yeah. Get. paid to go out with these older women. and just just sit there and have dinner. with them or if they wanted to [ __ ] do. that, too. Um, did that for. about a year or so? About a year or two.

Was there good money in it? Yeah, it's kind of crazy. And that was in LA. I was a hooker. Yeah, kind of. I guess. Yeah. [ __ ] yeah, dude. A male escort. I don't know. Hooker's. What the [ __ ] a Yeah. Hooker sounds like you don't have. insurance, but you're still going to do. it. You know what I'm saying? Male escort. sounds like you're at least applying for. some sort of like government aid with. it. I feel like the one may refer to as. a male escort jigalo. It says refer to.

male escort jig female customers rent. boy hustler. Do you remember any of the. dates or not? Um yeah sure. Um yeah. Was it. embarrassing or were you prideful about. it kind of? Well, and you know, if the. if the lady was uh you know, if the lady. was like an older lady where you're. like, well, I hope this is just dinner, you know? Yeah. You're stoked, right? You're like, "Ah, you start. coughing a little or.

Yeah. Just I just going to have dinner. and drinks and just entertain her.". Yeah. Um. say my wiener's broken or something. and that's it, you know. Yeah. You'd get. stoked when that would happen. But sometimes they wanted more. Yeah. And sometimes they wanted more and. you're like, "Oh man, that's not that. part's not fun cuz um. I don't know." Like [ __ ] when you're. not into it. is a weird is a weird thing. Yeah. It's like kind of like when you.

have to dance at a wedding, but you know. they're going to get divorced or. whatever. Little dude. You're like, "Ah, all right. All right, I'll go out there. One song. Okay, fine. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. Oh my god, dude. [ __ ] man. Sometimes. Did you get some. hot chicks, though? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, dude. One time there was a casting. director and I invited her to see a.

comedy show, right? And so, cuz I was. like, "Oh, she's going to maybe show.". But she was also really cool. We kind of. hit it off. So we're kind of like. friends and but there wasn't a kind the. place I invited to I had the night wrong. and so she came anyway and then so we're. just she's like we walk upstairs to. where the show is going to be. It was. over on La Sienna or Labraa room 5 this. place is called and we and it's this not. there and I'm like what she came and I'm. like I was like well let me at least get. you dinner you know and so we sit. downstairs we're eating she gives me. like half of a weed cookie. I'd never.

had a weed cookie before. So, I ate it. and like 20 minutes later, dude, I. didn't know I. I didn't know if this was my wife. I. didn't know who this person was. I was like, "Am I [ __ ] married?" And. we're out to dinner right now and it's. our anniversary. I couldn't figure out. what was going on. Wow. And um. tried to kiss her. What's that? I tried to kiss her, you know, like I'm. having a beautiful time with you tonight. or something. She's like, "What in the. [ __ ] is going on?".

Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] dude. Not your wife. Whoa. That was horrible, bro. And then I laid. in my bed for two days. I missed my. birthday. Cuz I was so high, dude. Jesus. That was bad. Oh my god, dude. When y'all started traveling and getting. drugs and stuff, was it hard to have sex. on drugs, though? Like, I don't see how. you could do drugs and screw, you know? Yeah. I was. like with like like what with you said.

earlier. I'd end up just going back to. my room, my hotel room, mostly by. myself. Really? Soon as you start [ __ ] doing cocaine, I'm like, I don't I' I'd rather just. party with me tonight, you know? I don't have to listen to any. [ __ ] I don't have to lie. Uh oh. Just I just just me and you are going to. get we're gonna go really fast in this. room and and hang out. Yeah. You do that a lot.

The second Yeah. I would just I'd rather. just be by myself. Yeah. And I know what that is. Yeah. I don't know. I would get real self-conscious if I was. doing cocoa around other people too. I. think it wasn't fun that much for me. Oh, I would because and I knew I just. wanted to do more coke. I didn't really. want to hear about whatever was. happening with your life that much. Yeah. And we I call we call it um uh. lying powder.

Yeah. Because let's get together and [ __ ]. sit around and lie at each other to each. other for a couple hours. Why not? You. know, like you know, you're sitting. there and you're make and you're doing. blow with a bunch of people and all a. sudden you're making all these plans. Yeah. Tomorrow, man. We're going to. [ __ ] we're going to go on the [ __ ]. lake. We're going to [ __ ] water. wakeboard and [ __ ] whatever. and it never happens. Never. You just, you know. Yeah. So, I don't want to get together. and just lie.

to each other. I'd rather just go back. to my room. and and [ __ ] and [ __ ] those chicks, you. know, another time in the future. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Oh, cocaine. Well, it'll. make you give your email address to a. dolphin, dude. It just [ __ ] you'll. [ __ ] tell him. You'll be like, "Yeah, let's keep it. Let's holler at each. other. We're going to [ __ ] And he's. like, "All right, dude. You bring your voice. I'll bring my voice. Email me." You're. like, "What is even in the morning?".

You're like, "Who the [ __ ] is this?". Oh my god. Stay away from me. God, that would be. scary. Um, how bad was it like when Addiction hit. you guys' band and stuff? Was that. pretty crazy? Yeah, dude. when it when um. when you hear stories about it, you. know, you see like, you know, in the. documentaries and stuff, you see, you. know, and you read about different. stories of people going through it. Um. and I know you've gone through it. Yeah. But like how h was that one of the. things that had the biggest effect on a.

band? Yeah. Like when when when. you're. you're looking around and you're seeing. the guys in your band, everybody's this. close from not not waking up again, you. know. Um you know that kind of [ __ ] Um, and you know, and you've you've reached. a level of like, um, doing. crazy [ __ ] like. when you're shooting [ __ ] Jack.

Daniels in your arm because you ran out. of heroin when you could just drink the. [ __ ] jack and be like, "Oh, and just. [ __ ] drink. We're out of heroin, but. maybe if we shoot it, it'll be [ __ ]. better." It's just alcohol. Like when. you're doing dumb [ __ ] like that, we're. like I think it's someone's going to die. here soon. Like we should all and we did. it as a band. We were like, you know, we'd take handfuls of [ __ ] houseons.

they were called and and then we'd. [ __ ] and go that and go out for the. night. But those are all these are all. [ __ ] like downers and sleeping pills. So like who does that? you're we're. doing such dumb dangerous [ __ ] that. everybody was like, "All right, that's. it. We're all going to do this. together." And we just was like 89. We. all went to [ __ ] rehab. together, dude. Different rehabs, but um but yeah.

Where'd you go? Which one? Uh I went to this place called. Cottonwood. Oh, in Tucson. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Tucson is [ __ ] [ __ ]. dude. Shout out Tucson, dude. I used to live. in. Tucson. Tucson. Tucson. Out in the middle of nowhere, dude. Crazy. That's where I did my first Coke. with those guys with the oranges, dude. Yes. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Tucson is the first place I. saw a school bus. Somebody had cut the. top off of it and was [ __ ] driving. it, dude. That's Tucson.

Bear down, dude. In the [ __ ] desert, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah, bro. That's people [ __ ] Oh, you'll do some coke and just eat. somebody's ass through a dream catcher. out there, dude. Intense out there, dude. A lot of Zodiac. killers and missing people out there, dude. It is, dude. Oh, you're praying to see the next. street light out there cuz sometimes. it's like far distance between the. street lights out there. Um, was that scary the first time you. went or what was that like? Like, I got to be here. Yeah. No, I know. I wanted, you know,

I'm sure it's very different to someone. who doesn't want to be there. We were. all Everybody wanted to. You're like, "The only way we can do it. is to actually go somewhere.". Yeah. To actually go somewhere. And if. we all do it together, our chances of. [ __ ] survival are going to be a lot. better. You know, like, you know, sometimes you just need a [ __ ] a bro, you know, to be doing it with you. Oh, yeah. Just to [ __ ] You know what I mean? So, all of us did it together and we. were like, "Oh, [ __ ] We can pull this. We can do anything.".

Yeah. You know, it's was cool. And was it fancy? Was it a fancier one. kind of? No. No. Just just a regular kind of. rehab. It's one kind of cool thing about rehab. You can go to them and it's just kind of. like a mix of all types of people. [ __ ] wild, right? Oh, they're totally wild. I went to just. a uh. you're hearing other people's stories. going like, you know, maybe I'm not that bad. And you're you're talking yourself into. [ __ ] like bail and rehab. [ __ ] These people are [ __ ] up. Let me.

out of here. You're like, I could be. mayor in a month. This community's. people are [ __ ]. [ __ ] We haven't even got the family day. yet. This is nuts. Yeah. Having a bro in it is the biggest. thing, man. I got one uh a couple. buddies in Nashville and here too. It's. like having some boys in and it's like. just so you can check in with each. other. You keep rocking for each other. And being sober is nice, you know. It's. nice, but it's hard. Yeah, it man. It is. It is really nice,

man. You know, everything just is so. much [ __ ] easier and so much I don't. know, just less drama, dude. Yeah. Less. drama. Yeah. And you can just wake up and be. like, "Okay, I can do this today.". You know, you're not having to sleep in, hide, pray for Gatorade or whatever. Pray for Gatorade. God, dude, that was all that kind of. [ __ ] was the worst. Oh my god. Was there ever a show where you guys. just couldn't even go on cuz you were. too [ __ ] up or No, no, never. That's unbelievable to me.

Yeah, that is pretty wild cuz we'd get. pretty [ __ ] up. Yeah. Before the show, but not not [ __ ] up. enough to where you couldn't, you know, to where you couldn't [ __ ]. bring it, you know, cuz if you I don't. know. Well, y'all's songs That's one. thing I was thinking about was you guys'. music was high energy. So it was like. some some some groups they can there's. different you know but you guys were. [ __ ] I mean everyone it almost starts.

out with the riff even some of the. ballads so you're like. god you had to be able to show up for. it. Yeah you can't and yeah especially like. drumming dude that shit's so [ __ ]. physical if you are feeling. or or if you're [ __ ] up and drums are. just doesn't work. really. it just doesn't work. You got You're the. [ __ ] You're the [ __ ] heartbeat of. the machine. Yeah. And if you are [ __ ] up, this whole. program's [ __ ] up.

Yeah. You know, that's So you you have to keep. it together enough. I mean, there's. times where you, you know, had a little. too much and and you're thinking, "Oh. man, I'm [ __ ] smoking right now. I'm. crushing this shit." and you [ __ ]. watch a videotape back and you're like, "What? What the [ __ ] was that, dude?". Okay, now you know you can't do that. Yeah, because that's [ __ ] up. But you're. thinking you're just murdering.

Yeah, that's happened a few times. And then. you go, "Okay, that doesn't work.". Yeah, that doesn't work. Yeah. Um Yeah. Cuz uh uh in the dirt there's a. lot of stuff where you guys are just. partying so hard. I mean, obviously they. do that for cameras, you know, or for. films and to make it look cool, but did you feel cool about the dirt, dude? I I was so pumped because it's so. raw and so [ __ ] real and um I can't. believe they smashed everything into an.

hour and a half. That's a lot. Yeah, they should have made it 10. episodes. That's it could have been a. [ __ ] miniseries like you know like um. but ju to get that amount of stuff uh in. there. Yeah, that's hard to do to put. everything in 90 minutes. Is it hard for. you to even remember some of what went. on? You know what? Yes. Um and that that. that movie was about the book and the. the dirt book. Um.

they said it was pretty true to form a. lot of it I think. Yes. It's it's it's identical, but but. to answer your question, I didn't, you. know, thank God the other guys. remembered [ __ ] you know, and it and. vice versa. We all like kind of reminded. each other of things because shit's. fuzzy for me about this or that time or, you know, depending on what people were. going through at the time, people. remember or don't quite remember. Yeah. Um, so it was really that process.

of writing the book uh individually. everybody kind of did their interviews. and. you know later you find out oh [ __ ]. that's right you know that that's a cool. that's cool like. it's almost like in a time capsule kind. of. Yeah. Yeah. And it's neat to have somebody. else there to help you remember too. Yes. That's really the cool a cool gift of it. because it's so hard to sometimes just. Yeah. Yeah. There's so much that's that has. happened would be almost impossible.

especially for us [ __ ] retards to. like remember all of it. Yeah. You know, come on. Unbelievable. Yeah. And a lot of it life. a touring life is you just kind of get. ready enough to walk on a stage the next. m you know. Yeah. It's not a ton to it really. It's like. you go somewhere, you get maybe you go. out to eat if you're there for two days. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Or you go see one thing if you're. in the town the next day. Like if you're. in Cleveland, you go to like the Rock. Hall of Fame. you go do something, but. otherwise it's just like you're just. getting yourself acclimated. Just.

whatever you have to do to get yourself. ready to get on stage. Yeah. And then you're out. Yeah. Yeah. That's so weird, dude. I I tell. people all the time, I go, I've been. around the world a [ __ ] hundred times. and I've seen nothing. That's crazy. Literally like a meteor. Really? It hasn't landed. Yeah. every [ __ ]. arena, stadium, bus, hotel room, like. that's pretty much it, you know? Yeah. Frankfurt. What? Roderdam. What?

How you? Yeah. You're like an arena. A. arena with a building with a lot of. seats in it and a lot of people and. repeat that a bunch of places and you're. like, I really haven't seen much. When you started to get more about it. like, oh yeah. Oh, dude. I've seen nothing, honestly. Oh, sometimes one of my dreams is to get. married and have a wife and get a camper. and just kind of go around and see even. places where I've been. You know, here's.

the thing. There's no way you can't. sound like the dumbest [ __ ] person in. your life cuz you're like, "But you were. here." You're like, "Yeah, I was.". What? You were here already. Yeah. No, but that's cool. Like, I'll do that. like on the tour bus on a day off. I. refuse to [ __ ] go to a hotel. I'm. like, we're taking the bus and we're. going to a lake. and we're [ __ ] spinning the get the. [ __ ] barbecues out. Like, we're going. to have something different. We're going. to we're going to break the repetition.

here and and go see something. and live be human. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. You kind of give your. Yeah. Once you become busy enough, you. become the business, you know. Yeah. And a part of being you, you. almost get so little time to be. yourself. Does that make any sense, man? Wow. You just nailed it. Yeah, man. You. just [ __ ] nailed it. Sometimes I even miss myself, which is. [ __ ] really weird. That's That's a good thing, man. I mean,

it's good to be success. No, it's good. to have the opportunities and, you know, it's a blessing for sure. It's cool that you're connected enough. to realize that you miss yourself. Even. miss yourself. You're like, "Fuck, man.". Which is cra Yeah. just it's all. interesting. The the most interesting. thing is just to be able to have the. experience of what it's like to have. some popularity or to be in certain. spaces. It's just just to even be a fly. because you're a fly on the wall, but. you're you and you're like, "Oh, this is. just interesting to be here.". Um. Yeah, definitely.

Was it hard cuz I know you got a couple. of children. You have two. I got two boys. Two boys. And was it hard to decide to. start a family when your life was like. so when you have such a light? Like was. it like. No, I always wanted one, man. I've. always been that kind of like, you know, [ __ ] sucker for romance, having a. family, you know, like that whole kind. of kind of milk and cookies thing.

Yeah. I've always always liked, you know, so. yeah, it was something that I definitely. wanted, you know. Did he just kind of. become a certain age you're like, I kind. of have to do it now? Did the clock ever. start to kind of tick for you a little? Did you ever feel like. um I don't know. I think maybe I think. it was just, you know, right place, right time, right? You know, a lot of. things have to be right for that to. happen. But um just just happy it.

happened, man. Because um. yeah, that's a good point, too. I got some [ __ ] amazing boys who are. just. a dream, man. What um what's something neat about each. one of your kids that you really admire? Something neat about them. or something that you admire about each. one of them? They have some incredible uh resilience. you know, they've they're brought up in, you know, it's, you know, a lot of not normal.

situations for them and they're just. they've done really [ __ ] well with. just. navigating, you know, like um so they're. they're they're great. How are they different than each other? I think I met one of them. Uh they're. Dylan is the youngest on the right. Uh, I've called him little Buddha since like. since he was born. He's just like. the reverse of his brother who's more.

like me, Brandon. Hell yeah. Yeah. He Yeah. The dude flipping the. camera off. That guy. Yeah, dude. I'll be sponsoring him in a. couple years. He's more hyper and kind of crazy like. like me. So, they're completely. opposite, which is great cuz I got like. I got one of each. Yeah. You got a yin and yang going. Yeah, dude. That's cool. Yeah. Is it really cool being a dad? Like what was something about it that. really surprised you, you think over. time since you've had the experience? I don't think there's a better feeling. in the world.

um as a matter of fact, I know there. isn't. um of having. having your your kids musically, okay, you imagine, you know, a musician like. myself and all of a sudden I'm in the. studio working on a song with my son. Um. and the that's going down and my other. son who loves music as well. Everybody's.

just like everybody's in the mix and I'm. like I'm going to start [ __ ] crying. right now cuz this is the coolest [ __ ]. [ __ ] ever. Oh, it's. ever like dude I can't you know what I. mean? Like. Yeah. You know, when your when your kids. grow up, they're just some some are. nothing like their parents and others. are. And. but to have them both just like really. gravitate towards music and and uh. acting uh Brandon's been doing is just.

there's nothing better. You know what I. mean? I bet. Especially if that's cuz that's. like almost all the things you love. right there in one space. Music and your. two sons. Yes. So to have that mixed together, that. would be super cool. It it's it's. insane, man. And then, you know, and. we're sitting there and um. Yeah. It's incredible. Well, yeah. I mean, and you were I mean, you sang on some songs, but you weren't. a lead. You weren't the lead singer, huh? Uh. Vince is the lead singer. You guys.

Vince sings. We. But some songs you sang on. Yeah, I sing. I mean, I t typically. sing. I play guitar, piano, drums. kind. of do produce, you know? How much pressure do you realize over. time? How much extra pressure is on a. lead singer? A lot. It's not easy, man. It's not. easy. They have to do almost extra work. A lot. of times it feels like, too, like. to taking care of the [ __ ] you know, and if you're doing it every night, you. got to, you know, it's like it's like.

it's a muscle, you know. Yeah. It's you got to take care of it. Yeah. Oh, what else in that? I'm trying. to think of the D. Oh, what about the. part in the dirt where Aussie snorts. that piss? Is that true or they just. made that up? Full on true. [ __ ] yeah. I know. People ask that all the time. They're like, "Dude, really?" I'm like, "Abso fuckingutely. You can't make that. [ __ ] up.". Yeah. To rip a line of [ __ ] piss. There's my buddy Tony Cavalo that played. him, dude. Dude, he was so high. Yeah. Oh, Aussie was. all of us right here. We had just come. We had just been on a overnight bus ride.

and Aussie rode with us. Uhhuh. So we're all and we're doing. rails the whole way. No one slept. Everyone's just drink. So we're at at. the hotel. Uhhuh. And no one wanted to go to their room. Everyone wanted to still keep partying. So we go, let's go to the [ __ ] pool. We go to the pool. And at that at that. time. it was just kind of a thing. Everybody. was into like out rock star and out.

grossing somebody out like out partying. Yeah. You know, like no, dude. So Aussie. starts he's Aussiey's wasted. He sees. there's a little trail of ants going all. the way to this kid popsicle that he. left on the ground. Right. Yeah. And Aussie looks down and [ __ ]. just snorts the whole the line of ants. going to the to the popsicle. and and and Nikki's like, "Okay, well,

[ __ ] that." So Nikki pulls his dick out. at the pool. This everybody this a hotel. the fourth this like the fourth four. seasons I think in Dallas. Some [ __ ]. up and just people, kids, everything. Nikki goes I [ __ ] up. Watch this. Nikki goes to pee on the ground and. Nikki's gonna lick up his own piss to. like outdoor recycling. And before Nikki could do it, Aussie. [ __ ] beats him to it and licks up his. piss and and we're like, "All right,

Aussie, you win. You win, dude. Nap time.". Yeah. And then, dude, that's awesome. Then they what they don't show in the. movie there is I the Aussiey's tour. manager goes, "Dude, Aussiey's [ __ ]. on one. You're responsible for him. Here's his hotel room key. [ __ ] I'm. done. I I can't deal with this anymore.". I'm like, "Got him. Cool. I'll take him. to his room." So anyway, after we get. kicked out of the pool area for all that. [ __ ] they don't really go into it.

in the movie. I get I'm like, "Come on, Aza. We got to we're getting kicked out. We got going take you up to your room. He goes, "Oh, all right, mate." I put. him we get in the elevator. We're going. up and he and there's people in the. [ __ ] elevator and he pulls his pants. down and he's just starts [ __ ] like. he's going to [ __ ] He's [ __ ] [ __ ]. I'm like, "Dude, no. [ __ ]. Don't [ __ ] Don't. No, dude. No." And.

he's like, "Ah, we get to the f to the floor. I'm like, "Come on. I'm just trying to get him to. his [ __ ] room and close the door and. like let him He just needs to go to. bed.". Yeah. Um, so I I take his room key, [ __ ]. open it up, open like push the door. open. I'm like, "Okay, buddy. See you. later." And he's like He goes, "Come. here." I'm like, "I'm going to go." He's. like, "No, you come here." I go in and.

he he now he's going to finish. He just. starts [ __ ] in the middle of the. room. Oh wow. He bends down, picks it up and starts. painting the walls with his [ __ ] I'm. like. I'm like I got to go, dude. And I. [ __ ] bailed. And I don't know what. happened after that, but they don't show. that part in the movie just like. he had to [ __ ]. Dude. Yeah, but if you got to [ __ ] dude, you. got to find other ways to, you know, like, bro, just wait till you get to the. toilet. Yeah, that's the best way. Yeah, but he wanted to like everybody.

he was just on this like I got to. [ __ ] whatever. I'm an animal. I'm going to paint with my [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's [ __ ]. Yeah. Everybody's [ __ ] Pablo [ __ ]. Caso all of a sudden. That's wicked, dude. Dude, I got a piss. You do? Yeah. Go piss real quick. It's tough, man. It's kind of weird cuz. sometimes you don't really pick who you. love. I feel like like you can have an. idea of like, oh, I'm going to be in. love with this or this girl looks this. way or and that's how I'm attracted. But.

then sometimes it's like you'll just. kind of just be in love with something. you like, like oh this is I'm in love. over here, you know? Yeah. Does. that make any sense? You think. the first thing that comes to mind is. like best friend [ __ ] like. you know I I think that I think that has. to happen before the before the love. I. don't I for me it's like I don't know. Well, I think especially you learn that. as you grow as we get older. Sometimes. some of that stuff we learn as we grow.

too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd make choices before sometimes. in my life you'd be like, "Oh, this and. this or but you have to have a best. friend that you're like, "All right, every now and then you're like, "All. right, I'll [ __ ] my best friend." You. know, you know, but if it's just a best friend, then. after a while you're like, "Ah, [ __ ]. dude. I just got to [ __ ]. I got to get rid of this best friend so. I can [ __ ] a little,". you know? I think so. It's like you got. to kind of find that middle ground, you. know? I think, you know, um cuz you've.

been married a few times in your life. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and what have you like And now. you're married now to a comedian. Y. Britney Ferlin, that's your wife. Yeah. And she's always charming. She made this. necklace for me, too. Speaking of. charms. Yeah. And this is uh little Marro. Little It's cool, man. This feels good. Yeah. She's [ __ ] rad. She's funny. Yeah. She's. um dude, like I got my face hurts, you. know? We were just and that's the best.

friend [ __ ] I'm talking about. Like. we've laugh all the [ __ ] time. Um cuz we're both silly and. we don't take everything so [ __ ]. seriously and like I don't know. We just. have [ __ ] fun, you know, and it's. that's a beautiful thing. Is um what's the longest relationship. that you've been in. right now? It's I think it might be me. and Britney because I we're just we're.

just clocking in at over seven years. Jesus. Really? Together. Yeah. And the longest time I. was ever married was for seven years. So, and we're we're past that now, which. is wild, man. I'm like, okay, this is. definitely. it's a real thing. The third time's a charm. Here comes. that silly line. And how many times have you been. married? [ __ ] Well, technically four or sorry, technically three, but four times the. first one got a nold, so that doesn't.

count. And what does an mean? What people just. disagree or the ref says no or whatever? I guess it's kind of like the ref says. no. You just weren't married long. enough. Oh, it was like literally I think maybe. a couple weeks after getting married, it's like, h this ain't working. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they should have a. thing where a month later your friends. get to send a ballot kind of and it's. like. Yeah. Something like that. Oh, so your friends can and all it too. like no she.

she ain't cool man. She's got to go. She. just took my best friend. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you know your friends go they a lot. of them go. they're good. Yeah. They disappear. Yeah. They just disappear. once they get married. Yeah. Well, you know, and if you get married to somebody they. don't like. Yeah. And that Yeah. Wow. You know how that works. Have you. ever been married? No, I never been married. I want to get. married though. Do you? I think my career started kind of. blooming late in life kind of or like. later, you know, and so it's been like. no time for that right now. Yeah.

Just been hard and it's tough to even. tell girls. It's like, you know, right. now, you know, like or if there's. something that starts to build and then. I'm out of town and then I come back in. town, I'm like, now where were we? And. then. and then you meet, you know, and then. you start to feel bad that people are. like holding out hopes and you're the. one who's kind of like you don't want to. keep somebody's hopes up. [ __ ]. it's like [ __ ] I got too much. I know. And then you just feel like. you're well you just feel like you're I. don't want to keep like you you'll get. kind of a little bit attached like yeah. this is going good but then you're like.

you're out of town. It's like oh well I. know I'm going to be out of town pretty. much a lot for the next year. So I just. have to tell you right now that this is. just how things are and and if we don't. both work pretty hard at this then it's. it's going to be tough. Yeah, dude. the. reality. and love. I think there's love like. it's kind of a hands-on [ __ ] thing, you know? Yeah, it's work. I mean, you have to. nurture and.

it's a bonsai. It's like a Yeah, it's it's funny. our. our therapist says that all the time. like all that work that you put on in on. those trees that's. same kind of work goes into your. partner. Yeah. Cuz well it's funny even when you. and Britney came in today it seems like. uh and I've seen you guys at the comedy. clubs and stuff together. It really does. seem like you guys enjoy being around. each other, you know. Yeah. It seems funny. You guys are like. [ __ ] Yeah. like kind of goofy and she.

has a lot of energy and it's kind it's. kind of nice probably then too to like. cuz you've had so much energy in your. life where it's like um you don't have. to always be the voltage you know. well perceived dude. it's nice. is that she go crazy baby. go crazy. you're like. this is the part of me that's just it's. burn it's not it's still there but it's. just [ __ ] it's had a lot of damage so. you can entertain me. yeah I had to outsource some of No, like I found a part of me that I really.

like in someone else and that's really. cool, you know? That's pretty That's. That's more of a neat way to say it. Yeah, it is cool, man. It is beautiful. That's awesome, dude. I think I I think I finally got it. right, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Actually, I know I got it right. Yeah. Cool. It's good. That's cool, man. Feels nice to to say that. Um, did you ever get to meet Michael. Landon before or No. No. Little House on the Prairie guy.

Yeah. No, he was a He got all the ladies, bro. I heard. Yeah, he has a sick ass or did have a. sick ass house in Malibu. Like back in. the cut Malibu. Like the I don't know. what you call that area. Some gated. Um, what about Michael Jackson? Do you. ever get to meet him? I did. Really? One time, dude. Wow. at the MTV Awards. Um, I was. presenting, was it 2007? No, was it seven or was it.

earlier than that? You've been to a. bunch of them. Yeah, I Man, the the dates fuzzy. But, dude, yeah, I met him once, man. And I. was so bugged out. The dates fuzzy. That should be the. Tommy Lee uh the title of your uh. autobiography. What? The dates fuzzy. The dates fuzzy. cuz it kind of pertains to just a. timeline and dating and everything, you. know. Yeah. But anyway, what am I [ __ ] scripting. your life? I'm not writing that [ __ ].

And the fact that I'm geographically. challenged, I still don't know where the. [ __ ] you know, like. like I was trying to tell somebody like. where were you this weekend? I was like, I was in my not the like South Dakota, North Dakota. [ __ ] I don't know. Like. like I just, you know, I I I'll break. down in tears at the airport sometimes. just because I'm like I don't know where. I'm at. cuz you know like if I travel alone.

especially because I'm used to. [ __ ] tour manager. Okay. We go here, we go there, we go and man, dude, I. can't tell you there's several times. where I've been traveling alone where. I'll just stop and grown man just start. crying. Yeah. I don't know where I'm at. [ __ ]. [ __ ] Where's the smoking lounge? Well, it is true. I mean, part of part. of having that much people around you. and support and stuff. You turn into a.

little bit of a child that does an. activity, dude. That is it. Absolutely. Get this [ __ ] child to the stage, have him do his activity. Do his activity. And then he's going to ask, "Where's. dinner, dude? Where do I sleep?" I just learned how to. send a [ __ ] FedEx package. a few years ago. I don't I didn't know. how to do it. I like What do you do? Do. does FedEx Where is FedEx?

Do I take it there? Do they come get. like how how does it work? Yeah. Do they know you want to send. something like how does this all fill. in, dude? And like just because everybody. does everything for you for so long and. through all those like kind of. [ __ ]. And some of it that's the way that some. of that gets set up. It's not you. necessarily outsourcing your life. It's. that those things get put in place. around you. So you don't have to worry. about that or worry about anything. because part of the business is you are. the business. And so you have to be the.

business. Yes. You don't have to be the mail room of. the business. and that starts to fall on somebody. else's shoulders. Yeah. Um it's not like. you saying, "Oh, I'm not going to send. my own mail.". Yeah. No, it's just that's the way things work. out. Yeah. Isn't that bizarre? Um. and the whole time you don't learn. anything. You're just like, I'm. relearning things that I should have. learned a long time ago. Oh, whoa, dude. Oh, I'm a late bloomer, dude. I'm like. I'm learning [ __ ] I should have learned. at five or six years old.

How to do proper handshakes. I mean, I. remember, dude, I was such a late. learner on so many things. I'm like, dear God. [ __ ]. Oh, yeah. It was just [ __ ] nightmare. Well, um, have you and your, uh, wife. taken a lot of trips? We have. Um, she doesn't like to go on a. lot of trips. Um, so, um, but we have taken a lot. And. actually,

is there a place you guys like to go. these last? She she's she's terrified of. [ __ ] going anywhere. Um, she she. [ __ ] had like, dude, I've scheduled. or or booked like just the most. beautiful [ __ ] spots like winter. [ __ ] cabins on a lake like, you know, and had to cancel them because there's. no hospital within uh a couple hours. Yeah. you know, like like that kind of. [ __ ] or like remote Bora Bora or like.

just the beautiful places we've gone to, but. some had to cancel, some trying to get. her to go anywhere is is really. difficult. But, you know, but we have we have. Well, it's nice also if you're having a. good time just to be at home, too. We're um building a house right now and. been working on it for [ __ ] for three. years. Oh, that's awesome. Um, we've built a. place that doesn't require vacations.

Like, I'm making my house so [ __ ] rad. that I don't really need to go anywhere. Yeah. And for her, too, she doesn't she's. going to never have to go anywhere cuz. she be like, "Oh, this is [ __ ] rad.". Like, this is sickest [ __ ] ever. Yeah. Where's the on vacation? Yeah, that's sick, bro. Yeah. So, Oh, that's a neat idea. Yeah, I I I hopefully I've fixed that problem. for her, but cuz she doesn't dig. traveling at all. Wow. It's kind of nice. So, it probably. saves you some loot, too.

Yeah. You know, maybe. Do um you guys keep animals at the. house? Have you been an animal guy? Yeah, dude. I've been a dog guy for a. long time. We got two two wieners. Mhm. Um. How big is a wiener dog? Like little. A wiener. It's about this. little. All right. Up the camera about this little about. that thick. And if you had to compare it to your. actual wiener, who wins, you think. to an actual wiener?

To your actual You're the guy with the. wiener. The rest of us are just kind of. milling around in the area. Right. Right. You know what I'm saying? The rest of. the rest of us are kind of [ __ ]. loitering, dude. You're the [ __ ] fire. truck. You know, we're the guy running. with the pail of water. You know what. I'm saying? So, oh damn. Now this [ __ ]. is getting a little That shit's. beautiful. But that's getting a little. crazy, dude. That's Teeny the Weenie. And where was this at, dude? Was this at. a PF Chang? Dude, where is this? That's at my old house.

um in Calabasas. Oh, that is pretty cute, actually. Yeah, we must have just got her. Oh, yeah. You can tell. she's a little bit bigger now. You I. think you saw her earlier. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. This looks. She's teeny, dude. Very. illegal, but also cute. Yeah. So [ __ ] cute. Yeah, little dogs is nice. Did you ever. own a parrot? Any other animals? Um, we've had a couple birds. Um,

haven't had great luck with birds. Yeah. Um, dude, one time we went I went to. Vietnam, right? And so you go there, I. was a student and you get dropped off. and the taxis whenever you show up. there, the first place they take you, you could say anything. I want to go to. this. this I want to go to a museum. I. want to go to the. Where was this? In Vietnam. Oh, you've been there? Yeah. So, you go and you said the first. thing I was a student and we were like. we want to go to this museum whatever. this like something but no matter where. you say they take you to hookers or. whatever you can say anywhere we want to.

go to McDonald's they take you to. [ __ ] Mc [ __ ] right? We got it. Yeah. So, we get out at this museum. It's one story and it's a pet shop. It's. not We're like, "What the [ __ ] is it?". And everybody speaks uh Vietnamese, so. you don't know what's going on. I walk. inside, couple birds, couple I don't. know if it was cats or whatever. It was. like kind of vague. And then these. ladies come out of the back and um. topless, right? So we're like, "Oh, what. the [ __ ] Look at pet shop. Topless pet shop.". Yeah. Yeah, dude. Like damn, dude.

Yeah. That bean ate that lady's bra, you. know? Jesus. So next thing you know, we're in the. back and they're trying to jerk. everybody off and just get seed out of. everybody and. Jesus. And I got super nervous cuz they. had us all in the same room and I was. like I'm not. I don't even I I don't even speak at the. language. I'm like looking at they have. a picture menu. I'm like kind of looking. at that and trying to negotiate rates or. whatever. Like yeah dude I will get 30%. off some [ __ ] tits if I can. Right. So I'm like trying to see what the.

different options are. Anyway, I get. really freaked out because one of my. buddies starts getting a [ __ ] It's. just all right. It's just right there. and it's crazy. You can hear the. animals. Oh dude. And it's just really crazy. And uh and. one of the parrots kept saying like. pervy [ __ ] you know, like [ __ ] you. know, we're like, "Come, come.". Oh no, come papa. Oh my god. And so it was just like, "What the [ __ ]. is it, man?" But yeah, I've never really. been a pet owner. I guess that's kind of. that's the closest thing I've really. been a part of except I slept in the bed.

with a girl one time at a Great Dane. Oh [ __ ]. Yeah. And she made it sleep right. between us and I was like, "This feels. kind of gay, dude." He was big, dude. And black. Yeah, they're [ __ ] people size, dude. He was big. Like he definitely. played Jo ball somewhere. Like this. thing is [ __ ] huge, you know? They take like horsesiz [ __ ] I'm not. dealing with that, dude. Giant. Yeah. No, dude. That ain't cool. What was the first pet you ever had?

First pet was a monkey. My dad brought a. monkey uh from Thailand. Wow. Yeah, that's uh that's the first pet. And was it in a box or how did y'all. keep it? It was outside in a ca like a my dad. He. built the cage. He [ __ ] just built. everything. He built a cage and um. that's where he lived but or that's. where he'd sleep at night. But he. basically was had little diapers on and.

would just [ __ ] rip it around the. house all day. And he'd party. Oh, dude. Wow. Party. Maybe it's where you learn some. of it. That Yeah. The [ __ ]. Like this thing can [ __ ] rock. Yeah. That so fun. So fun, man. And how. did it pass away? It had a heat lamp outside. and um. we had a [ __ ] it got really really. cold. Um, and we had a power outage and.

the [ __ ] heat lamp. went off and he [ __ ] he he in the. morning he was he was dead. We had I think we had like he he froze. to like I don't know he I don't know how. he died but we had like re really shitty. cold super cold weather. I think it. actually even maybe snowed. What town was it in? In Coina. Oh, I hear it. Yeah. Where I. grew up.

Wow. Damn. It's a bummer. Yeah. You think of Dude, nine out of 99 out of. 100 times you think a monkey would. survive an ad in Cabina. Yeah. I mean, it's not like extreme here. at all, you know? That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. My apartment is on uh the street. where who was the guy from Jane's. Addiction? The guy who wears the kind of. the makeup handsome guy. Dave Navaro. Yeah. Where his mom got murdered on the. same street. Oh [ __ ]. It was kind of crazy. Oh wa.

Uh. that's you lived at? I lived just down the street from there. Oh. yeah. Oh wa. Cool. Um dude, who else? One time I went to. Perry Frell's house for a one-year-old's. birthday. Somebody [ __ ] invited. Really? Yeah. And it was just there and um I'm. just walking around and then there he. shows up. It was just, you know, sometimes nice houses they'll let people. friends have their birthday party, kids. birthdays there. Uhhuh. I [ __ ] relapsed at a one-year-old's. birthday party, dude. Oh my god. at a one-year-old. What the [ __ ] dude? What? Hey, look, man.

How does that even happen? God is good, dude. I don't know how it. happens, but we just keep it moving. And. it was it was what it was, man. Whoa. I didn't expect to. That's why I went. I. was like, "Oh, I'm definitely I'm going. to go to a place I can't get in.". Yeah. And then you have a couple wines or. whatever. And then it just. [ __ ]. It was just bad. At a one-year-old birthday party. Dude, what uh did you ever get to meet Marilyn.

Manson? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that was my first concert. He's a [ __ ] He's a He's a [ __ ]. great guy. Yeah. Really hear interesting things. about him. Cat Von D is close with him. and she speaks a lot about him. Yeah. You know, or she mentions him a lot, you. know. Yeah. He's he's a [ __ ] he's funny, man. Was there um Oh, that's you and him. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool. He has a good sense of. humor. Oh yeah, dude. He's He's [ __ ] He's. definitely a He's a [ __ ] tweaker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's actually. BYO blinds, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's [ __ ] wild. He He turned me on to some [ __ ]. man. this crazy. we we drank a [ __ ] shitload of this. absent. uh in Europe that this his thing was. absent and like showed me like and I. don't know it just I I'd seen this [ __ ].

called green fairy or whatever it's. green but he had some other some like. other. I started hallucinating on the [ __ ] if. you drink enough of it you start to. slightly hallucinate And it was purple. colored and um. and it's an alcohol as well. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's full-on alcohol. Strong as [ __ ]. Um Yeah. And you drink the [ __ ] on fire. Like you light the sugar cubes and the. sugar.

melts into the absent. Oh [ __ ]. It's a whole like a ritual thing. Yeah. Ritualistic. I like that. Yeah. It's dark. I could see him getting into some. ritualistic [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absent. really make you hallucinate. Absent the. lur is a combination of spirits and. herbs mainly fennel anise and a type of. wormwood called artameisia absentium. Um that's what it's named after. Van Go. and Picasso were big fans of absin back. in the day along with other artists.

Some believe that absin induced. hallucinations partly inspired some of. their greatest works. Wow. Right. Um do you look at bands nowadays because. you guys [ __ ] rock. You guys were. almost like the industrial era. It's back when you actually had to. actually make the [ __ ] sounds, you. know? Like now it's like you don't have to. make the sounds anymore. The sounds are. all programmed or whatever. You guys had. to actually [ __ ] go out there and. make them, you know, make them, record them. Yeah. Do you look at B I mean, you look at N. or like Rascal Fire. You're like, what.

the [ __ ] is even going on here? Not them. specifically, but do you ever look at. modern band, you're like, "This is. Yeah, I hear I mean, yeah, I hear it. I hear it all the time. Are you disappointed in how music has. evolved or is just this is what it is? And it's like you're fortunate the time. you got to be in. Do you ever get. jealous of the time that people have. like, you know, not that you're still. not making a lot of music and that. Yeah. Yeah. but it's like you guys are still the. ones let's go out there and [ __ ] you. know. Yeah. I You know what, dude? I guess the.

good thing is I'm such a fan of so many. styles of music that I enjoy all of it. So, um whether you make it raw and live. off the floor or make beats, you know, or play, you know, record in the box in. the computer and edit and I I've done it. all different ways. So, I really I just. like good music. Um I don't really care. how it was made. Um, so yeah, it doesn't it doesn't really it.

doesn't bug me, you know, like I don't. go like, "Ah, this [ __ ] today sucks.". Yeah, because there's some really great. stuff and Yeah, there's some shitty. stuff. Yeah, but I do like so many different styles. I'm kind of all over the place and. probably not a good guy to ask that. question to cuz I don't know. Are there. things that you miss about the rise of. things like how when things were. starting because sometimes you don't. realize when things are popping like in. the beginning that that's that's the. moment you know. you know what I miss more than anything.

dude I miss the [ __ ] mystery man I. miss the you know like like that there's. people that I just I absolutely just. think the [ __ ] world of and it's guys. like who are like I I call I think. they're chameleons because they're just. they're always changing with guys like. Prince never did [ __ ] interviews. You. always wonder like what's that guy do? The the the mystique. I miss that. Now. we're just like we know everything about.

[ __ ] everybody's lives whether you. want to or not. Um. and there's just no like there's no. [ __ ] mystery, man. And that's a big. part I think of of any art is the the. mystery of it, you know, like what do. they [ __ ] what did that [ __ ]. eat in the morning or like what, you know, just like what the all the all. the question marks are gone and and you. don't see that in new music. There's no,

you know, I'm not sitting here going. like, "Fuck, I gotta I gotta get down to. Tower Records and wait [ __ ] you. know, overnight for this record to. drop." That just. God. Oh, that was so true. It was like, well, even looking back on those magazines and. stuff, like that's how we knew little. pieces of [ __ ] That's how you. It was like Sebastian Box's head was. [ __ ] bleeding. You had no idea why. You didn't know where the picture was. And the [ __ ] they they told you too.

blurry. But you're like, "Fuck, dude.". And it's a still picture. It's not a. video. documentary on the whole thing. [ __ ] dude. We got to see him when he. comes here. You know, we're like, "What. is going on?". And then you start making [ __ ] up in. your head like And that's where the. That's where creation came from. That's. where creativity came from. Yes. You You came up with how it may. have happened, dude. In waiting outside to get like. tickets to something, dude. Whether like. it was to go see The Crew, whether it. was to go see Guns and Roses, um, uh,

Dio, Lock Up the Wolves, like whether it. was to go see [ __ ]. 311. Like, you'd have to wait out all. night, right? And thankfully, some kid. would bring like his 11-year-old brother. and people would get him [ __ ] up for. the first time in the parking lot. Yeah. You just be watching his [ __ ] like. little fat kid [ __ ] like take off his. shirt and [ __ ] eat bugs and [ __ ]. Oh my god. That would get you from 2 to. 4 and then somebody would go to the. donut place and then it would be 6.

Yes. Hold the line, dude. And there was. still only five people out there and it. would have been fine if you came at 9:00. a.m. But no, [ __ ] We waited all. night for tickets. That was something to. be said. It was like a badge of honor. Yes. And you didn't know what happened. Like. even when I saw. U Manton and Twiggy Ramirez, I think one. of them he cut the other guy's stomach. or open with a bottle. The ambulances. came, [ __ ] took the guy out of there. What just happened, dude? Yeah. I remember being in the. bathroom. I was like 14 years old. Some.

guy goes, "How old are these kids in. here?" And somebody goes, "I don't know. They look like they're about 14." And. somebody's like, "Somebody's going to. touch them tonight." Somebody said that. And we never even heard that before. Like, what is going on? But they took. they took the the the whoever he cut. with the B. And we have we had no idea. what happened. It's just your. imagination. like where the [ __ ] is he, you know? Yes, dude. I that as I missed that. Yeah, I missed that, man. I missed the day as a possibility kind. of.

And and and the and the other thing. along with the mystery is I wish there. was less because there's so much. Dude, I'm a [ __ ] musician. I'm in this. business and if I can't keep up, how the [ __ ] is just a fan who's not a. musician or just like a fan of music. keep up if I can't. Yeah, dude. There's so much [ __ ] music. [ __ ] Dude, there is so much [ __ ].

music. It is insane. Your neck would. snap off. And it's just like how do and. and I feel bad for like for for for. young people like how do they find music. just like [ __ ]. it's just it's it's too much dude. there's not there's there's no place to. to I mean I guess that that must maybe. maybe it's the opposite. Maybe that's. there's the thrill of that hunt of.

trying to find something in the barrage. that you're like, "Dude, I found this out there.". Yeah. You know, maybe maybe it's maybe it's. reverse and I shouldn't feel bad for. people, but that's I there's too there's. too much dude too much. Too much. Did you um was there a band that you. love that fell off or that had a singer. pass away? Was there anything was. something in your time that some a group. that you really missed? Oh, [ __ ] man. A a few. [ __ ] Um, Nirvana. Oh, yeah.

Uh, did you guys know them or not? Uh, didn't know them as Nirvana. Um, just knew the music. Just through the music. Yeah. And later, you become friends with Dave Growl and. stuff like that. Oh, yeah. I just read his book recently. But yeah, and [ __ ] uh Sound Garden. Yeah. [ __ ] There's been so many. They were a. real big influence on me. Um, [ __ ] sound. chains, dude. There's been so many great.

[ __ ]. Yeah, bro. When those things came on, when that [ __ ] happened, there was. something about it being real and it was. just like there was this start part of. you that started to [ __ ] purr, dude. AC/DC, Bon Scott, there's another. [ __ ] great one. Like, dude, nobody. sounds like that guy. Uh-uh. Um, so yes, there's been a lot. I've seen Yeah.

[ __ ] yeah. God, dude. Bro, this dude in our neighborhood, this. dude Eddie, he got a 5.0 [ __ ]. Mustang, right? And I remember he put. two of the most busted chicks who were. also the best looking girls in our. neighborhood in it. Yeah. He made them sit on the back, right? Like like open. He'd sit on the back. trunk but with their legs inside, right? Right. And you kind of just drive around. town like it was a parade, you know? No way. Yeah. Just because somebody finally had. a car and somebody finally had two. chicks in it, right? People in our.

neighborhood were like, "Fuck yeah, we've all got a chance, dude." Right. And he bought them both dairies one. time, these girls. Oh, God bless him. And he came over and he was just kind of. [ __ ] chilling in the street. And then. he he played back and black and he. [ __ ] floored it and both of them. [ __ ] tumbled right back. Dude. Yeah, dude. Dude, and I think he left town. He was. so ashame. Just like the [ __ ] amount. of shame that people would have for.

[ __ ] But god, that was [ __ ] awesome, dude. That is That sounds awesome. Yeah. When the closest you could get to. rock and roll is just some kid in the. street was just throwing a [ __ ] rock. against a stop sign and hearing that. [ __ ] ping, you know? Yes. [ __ ] the the car the the doors. are rattling because the g the the kids. got [ __ ] like you know 318s in the in. the trunk. Some Rockford skates or whatever and. that [ __ ] is just. the caps are just [ __ ] falling. The. lights are breaking parts are falling.

off. It's a brand new car. He gets two. blocks. He gets pulled over for [ __ ]. not having everything. Oh man, it was quite a time man. It was the best. time. Yeah, dude. You know what? That's. that. that statement right there. Um that's. one of the [ __ ] coolest things ever. When people watch the dirt, that's one. of the big the the biggest things I hear. from from people. They're like from the.

younger kids. They're like, "Man, is. that what it was [ __ ] like?". Like just all this shit's real, right? I'm like, "Yes." They're and I'm and. they're like and I'm like they'll never. know. They'll and that and that's what. they say. They're like. we can't even a like we can't even. imagine that. Like you can't do any of. that stuff anymore. You're like you guys. just [ __ ] you. that that part B it's.

a nice thing to hear but it also bones. me out because that was at a time where. anything [ __ ] goes dude. anything goes there's no Instagram or. like people with cell phones taking. pictures and like ratting you out or do. anything goes dude. and the moment had so much value because. it was the it was all you had. yes no. you weren't going to be able to relive. it later like maybe you get a still.

image but the [ __ ] moment. Dude, now the moment sometimes it's just. like even the moments like I'm [ __ ]. give up. You know, it's like I can't compete with. the repetition of me that there is out. there. That's what I feel like so many. times. Yeah, dude. And even storytellers. had more value because you had to tell. the story. Dude, the best thing was I'd. go somewhere, nothing would happen. I'd. go to school the next day and everything. had happened. Yes. And I was like, [ __ ] yeah, dude. Dude,

the moment, bro. Yeah, it was so cool. Right. Right. But. I guess we just got to keep making those. moments. Yeah. We got to do our best, you know. And you do it by having a new taking on. a new uh marriage. That's seven years. That's congratulations, man. That's. amazing. Oh, thanks, buddy. And um building a new house. Yes. and uh and keep trimming our trees. down to keep the [ __ ] what we want. that's important to us like our sons and. our music. and um and keeping alive uh all the.

[ __ ] stories as much as we can, you. know, by sitting and and talking with. people about them. Yes. Um thank you so much, Tommy. I. appreciate it, man. It's nice to get to. know you and um thank you for [ __ ]. just Yeah. making me [ __ ] angry at. everybody in my [ __ ] neighborhood, dude. I feel. in a [ __ ] awesome way, dude. Girls, dude, I would sing Girls and then jerk. off and I'd be like, I feel like I just. was on a date, you know? Like, it was. just [ __ ] awesome, dude. We heard. girls and we're like, we're going to get. girls, dude. And we never got girls,

bro. But we [ __ ] sang that [ __ ]. dude. Dude, I [ __ ] love you, man. God, it was [ __ ] good, dude. I [ __ ] Thank you for having me. Um, and I I look forward to our. friendship, man, because. Thanks, man. Y'all want to come and see. the trees, man. I And yeah, for sure, dude. For sure. And I love Your wife makes me laugh so. much. Her and Britney Schmidt have a. podcast. U bring it up right now. I just. want to see it real quick. So, have to have them come on sometime.

Oh, you having them come over here? Yeah, sometime. Yeah, dude. When we get We need some [ __ ] white. [ __ ] in here. All right. And I'm talking about Britney. Schmid. I'm not talking about your wife. Um, this is the worst podcast uh with uh. Britney Furlin and Britney Schmidt. Um, so. Tommy Lee, thank you for everything, dude. Yeah, bro. I hope you stay alive for absolutely. ever. [ __ ] yeah. [ __ ] yeah. Likewise.

And I feel I'm falling like these. leaves. I must be corner stone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll. share this peace of mind I found. I can. feel it in my. [Music].