Tim Dillon | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #480
I've got some remaining tour dates to. tell you about tickets are currently. remaining in State College PA February. 7th Amhurst Massachusetts February 9th. Brisbane in the Australia on March 1. Sydney in the Australia on March 10th. Jackson Mississippi March 26th New. Orleans Louisiana March 29th and 30th. right there before East Atlanta Georgia.
on April 4th get all your tickets at. [Music]. theo. today's guest is one of the. funniest people I think that's ever. lived and it's a wild thing to say. because I'm only just known of this. period of time but I'd go on to throw. him on in there probably in the top. 400 uh he is on his American royalty. tour right now uh he has his own show.
the Tim Dylan show it's a podcast you. can find it every week um I'm just so. grateful to get to to Yapp it up with. this guy man he makes me laugh today's. guest is my friend Mr Tim. [Music]. Dylan I'll sit and tell you my. story. sh me.
and I will find song I will. [Applause]. sing I don't know sometimes I like I. just started doing it cuz like can we. see Tim shot just so we have his idea of. it so we. can see if you can de red my face. somehow that would be amazing I know. that these things are hard to do did you. get a procedure done or something no no.
it's just I just have like I have like a. breakout today some days you just wake. up and you have. like a breakout but if you have any the. technology that James Cameron used in. Avatar to Dad your face a little to just. Dad my nose yeah we'll take something. off of you any of the. uh you do like plastic surgery there's. got to be some like AI like I I just no. we just got scalpel we just got scalpel. good I think that software technology. should get to a point where like.
literally when someone sees you they. should go who are. you you know yeah I agree man yeah I. mean the fact that we have to show up. it's crazy as ourselves it's insane and. that's why the um yeah yeah that's why. the metaverse is gonna is gonna slap as. the kids would say dude this simple fact. that yeah a one-legged person yeah has. to actually present themselves it's.
insane they should just yeah cuz you. know online they have two legs it's like. hey how humiliating do you want this. existence to be. yeah now I see why people are like Jacob. a Lordi 2006 on their handle yeah but. they won't come to the door to get their. door Dash no because God Only Knows I'll. tell you this. man those door Dash people see some. oh god dude first of all lest we.
forget the people that have had to go to. people's homes brother they have to go. into the trenches of well sometimes they. get. killed sometimes people kill. them sometimes you have a burrito in. your car and you're driving it to. someone's house and that is going to be. the last thing you do on this Earth the. last thing you do is walk of soggy.
burrito to a guy's house and instead of. just taking the burrito and saying thank. you he goes I'm going to kill you now. yeah he and he then they kill you yeah. they say welcome to Memphis okay brother. welcome to Memphis and the crazy thing. is a lot of the people inside who know. they're going to kill you yeah as you're. walking up murders have gotten so. Advanced with like Ambiance and. production yes that they will even play. There Goes My Hero right from like. plants speakers hidden in yard plants as.
you're about to go and then you're as he. go and you're laying there and you're. bleeding out and and you the one of the. last thoughts you have is this song is. great this is a great song and I'm sad I. won't be able to hear it anymore it's. the last thing I'm hearing and then you. see that burrito as you're bleeding out. you just look at it just that burrito. yeah it's a tough gig a hand just comes. in a frame and yeah it's a tough gig um. the gig economy is tough well you know.
I've talked about this before it's they. want us to all just be gig people who. are doing gigs they want us to be it. will eventually be the Lords right and. then everybody else will just be driving. around like literally holding we'll all. be Uber drivers right and we'll be. holding each other at gunpoint to be. passengers like be my passenger now well. sit in the back seat subscribe to my. daughter's only fans while you're back.
there right she's in the front seat with. a light on her V yeah no it's going to. get to a point where there's going to be. I think communities where that no one. leaves like really wealthy communities. and then people are just going to get so. rich these houses are getting so big. everything they want is going to be in. their house like they're going to have. the Whole Foods in the house yeah it'll. be a tinier Whole Foods but it'll be in. their house they go I just have a. grocery store in my home I have. everything I need in my home we have a. little doctor office they're going to.
get to a point where you go to the. doctor and they just take an elevator. down in their house to an urgent there's. an urgent care as a nurse sitting there. and the nurse's going to hand you to. paperwork and you're go you're in. my house you know what I mean and then. she's gonna go yeah but it's like still. one of those things we have to fill out. and you go all right so you're filling. up paperwork in your own house to get. your ball looked at and that's how rich. that's the level of Rich where you're. never going to have to leave never never. going to have to leave and why should. you have to leave and I think then every. now and then you you go you gamble.
online by ordering door Dash just to see. someone come up from the depths from the. lower from somebody climb out of a. wishing well occasionally you'll go to. an airport that'll be the like. occasionally you'll go to an airport and. you'll go God cheat and you're going to. see these like people around you and. they all have their pillows around their. neck and they're drinking like smoothies. and stuff and some of them are asleep on. the floor and you're going to go oh yeah. that's what life is for most of these. people that don't have a doctor's office.
in their house yeah yeah it's definitely. getting alarming man people are sleeping. they had a family they found had was. sleeping in a wishing well they had. basically common deared a wishing well. somewhere and a guy had built a two. bedroom with shovels right had. two-bedroomed out a wishing well and was. raising his children in it well it's. like it's like all the Disney stories. that we grew up with are now very. disturbing you you know like this idea.
of like when you look back at all of. these stories things like that like. living in a well living in a wishing. well if you had read that story when you. were like 10 you'd be like that's the. yeah beautiful like that's a. beautiful moment that that family gets. to live in that well and wish every day. yeah and then you realize now it's just. a place people throw cigarettes into. it's a real horrible place you know. you're just getting cigarettes and like. recyclables people recycl old furniture. yeah just a homeless guy yells into it.
every night when you're trying to sleep. just undecipherable yelling for 20. minutes people just throwing used. clothing just throwing old lacost shirts. down there so it's not like the you. think it's like a family with a little. Lantern and it's like tonight it's time. to wish but it's not that it's homeless. people screaming if you come up I'm. Gonna Get You know it's. tough well also people don't want to. talk about the real Turf War that's. going on t and that is between door.
Dashers and the. homeless well because if you're homeless. if I see a door Dasher I see I'm seeing. an opportunity that's all it is that's. all it is if I by the way door Dashers. now are are they don't let it be known. they're a door Dasher they are stealth. like food delivery people are stealth. they'll dress up like post postal. workers vampires I've seen a vampire you. don't even know who they are they're in. a costume they're in a truck I see. somebody just wandering like sometimes.
they have their friend with them as a. lookout have you seen that there lit be. be a guy in the front seat of the car. and then his chick will be just kind of. looking out just making sure like nobody. comes and kills him how crazy that door. Dashers yeah it's crazy yeah I mean and. they are also carrying messages here's. the thing I don't feel bad for any of. them yeah because I don't know anyone. who does it and I do. believe anybody who's doing door Dash. has is is like. you know in India they have a cast of.
people called The Untouchables do they. really yes you just can't with them. you can't go near them you see them and. you look away uhuh that is kind of and. just to know no don't take offense to. this but it is when I encounter a food. delivery person in the wild I I don't I. look away no I will look away damn you. don't feel like you're one of them a. food delivery person. no yeah I just there's so many other.
jobs I just feel like if you're. delivering door Dash I just inherently. here's the thing I I I love them as a. person they're child of God yeah but. they're in so much pain are they a lot. of times you can see their in pain I. can't see it really they're just. listening to Scott sta usually I don't. feel like they're I think some of them. are in pain they're just it's tough It's. A Hard I just it's hard for me to see. and look. it's just hard for me to look at well we.
make them the saddest part is we make. them drive too it's like well yeah. they're a victim to gas prices at least. in other countries they like door. Dashers will be on motorcycles or. they'll just be throwing the foods to. someone who's further down the street. actually cool yeah because there many of. them are are Asian and they're on a tiny. little bike and it's fun yeah and. they're having a great time and they're. actually seeing how fast they like yeah. seeing how fast they can get it to oh. there's a dark web that they are all on.
where they get points and their little. and they like seeing how and many of. them are risking their life with Ramen. on their back to get it to you they're. risking your life so that an NYU student. can eat that Ramen piping hot you're. getting it so hot but in La maybe I. should qualify my statement yeah it's. only door Dashers in La of course. because there were people that want to. be like actors or screenwriters they're. lazy the food's cold you barely get it. yeah that that's my issue here it's not. I don't want to malign all the food.
delivery people in Los Angeles I've. noticed a problem sometimes they'll just. steal the food yeah now that's thing. yeah some of them are just looking to. get a meal because you can apply online. yeah you can be working for door Dash in. six minutes or less that's one of their. big things like in six minutes that's. not a good idea yeah it's a horrible. idea a horrible idea become a door Das. delivery guy in six minutes yeah you can. be a door Das deliver guy in six minutes. like or in a very small amount of time. I'm not sure what it is but and they.
call you an independent. contractor um but yeah next thing you. know you can be you can have a food in. 40 minutes you can be picking up food. from somewhere that you can just. eat yeah I mean I've had some issues. with them have you well I actually door. Dash now I think is pretty good it's the. one that I use what I thought you just. said all this well no they are. they're bad but they're all bad like. Postmates is they're all different kinds. of bad yeah Postmates is bad uh Uber. Uber Eats just feel like it's a monop I.
don't want to be involved Uber is. disgusting I don't want to be involved. with people that are double dipping y I. agree it's sick you know it's sick but. to me it's like door Dash even though. it's evil it's the lesser of all the. evils yeah or you could leave your house. but that's terrifying to go and like the. the process of getting oh to go into the. world yeah it's crazy and to go eat like. well like David Spade still eats at. McDonald's you know he's basically he's. like the you list S Grant of our time I.
feel like like he goes he's on the front. lines he is the Ulisses S Grant he will. sit in there dine he'll battle he has an. amazing story about battling a homeless. guy for a series of nuggets that he had. ordered well that's probably what keeps. a guy like that who's so successful and. so beloved it's what keeps him grounded. yeah like once a week he goes I've got. this legendary career but he's like once. a week let me go and get him a gdle yeah. and see if I can make it out you know.
and if he can make it out with the. McGriddle he's like all right it's just. we all need a little friction in our. life like this is for you Farley yeah. this is for you and he goes in you know. it's just he's like Adam Sandler's on a. spaceship somewhere you know like. writing movies from a space station and. David Spade's like let me just go into. the lasena McDonald's and just see if I. can get out today with a McFlurry get. into my car dude there's a. yeah I there's a promoter this guy who's.
a promoter promoted a bunch of like. Midwestern tour dates he double book. features and stuff you'd show up you'd. drive through the snow to penguins in. like Midland Iowa or something you'd get. there he'd have book four other. features you know and it would be closed. it was just a nightmare oh it. was unbelievable and he would always. trade tickets for everything you'd go to. eat with him he like let's let's go to. lunch and then he would try to pay with. tickets and you'd feel so. embarrassed Ford then you'd end up.
having to pay for him a lot of times it. was this guy was just like tickets like. a carnival like tickets to the comedy. show oh cuz he was also a feature opener. gotcha he did 10 minutes about um being. uh just he did he did 10 minutes up top. but one time he had two milkshakes right. and a couple of he they had a couple. sisters that were fighting each other. near a um Honda Civic okay right which. is that's most of the Midwest right. that's probably a a lot of it it's the. whole state of Missouri sh Civic with.
two sisters maybe Hefty maybe not I mean. definitely like you could you wouldn't. put more than three of them in a in a. Camry probably it would get tight it. would get in there right so but they. were they were talking outside in a. parking lot right so he's like I'm going. to be a Good Samaritan I'm going to walk. over there with two milkshakes right so. he goes over because I think In some. cultures if you milkshake a sister it's. like it's just like beautiful it goes a.
long way yeah so he gets over there and. they did not want anything to do with. him and they literally started beating. the they lit him up for that dude that's. up they lit him up for just. coming with milkshakes and he was such a. he'd never let go of the shakes so this. guy took all the abuse down on his knees. and he still has the shakes in like. Christ on the cross with a shake on each. yeah Gary that was his name too and we. can take take his name out if we want. but that's who he was man he was yeah.
he'd invite you'd go to a show in the. middle of Lake of the ozar one time I. went to it it was nowhere yeah yeah the. guys yeah it was just a couple dudes at. a water fountain you know I used. to do shows with this guy he was a pre. like a preacher and he was a ex. recovering addict oh of course and he. had one hand and like one arm like he he. had a fake arm but this was before like. there were good Prosthetics you know so. he it was like a not even in kind of. like a Halloween arm oh yeah you could.
get the Nixon arm or whatever only right. it only had one and it was like the. coach arm like he was giv his spe so it. was always just like this no matter what. was going on he'd be like talking and. then you just had this like a Halloween. arm it wasn't good and and he would. leave it on the sink in the bathroom and. you would just walk into the green room. and then you'd be taking a past there be. an arm yeah just an arm and then he like. fastened on and one of his bits is he. just you know took it off and the C. crowd would go nuts he'd like put it.
back on it was a dark time in the. beginning of Comedy you know and then he. he would tell people he like he would go. I'm a veteran he didn't lose his arm in. any type of Veteran activity yeah but he. would say I'm a veteran and they would. be like oh thank you for your service. but he never went you know he just I. mean he served but he never served an. act of yeah but he had like a fake arm. and then he would get on airplanes and. he'd go I should sit in first class I'm. a veteran and then the woman would go. yeah but that's not how Works we're. sorry you have an economy ticket and he.
go I'm a veteran I serve this country. and he would with the hand he'd be like. I serve this country and she's like you. have to go to economy sir and then. sometimes like part of the plane would. side with him like they'd look at her. they'd be like you're disgusting but he. was just an ex crackhead who lost his. arm because he was on crack and got in. like a a horrible accident in his. car yeah there's they never there's not. enough. differentia these days amongst the PTSD. Community I've said it a lot I don't.
want to hear that word unless you're in. a war yeah I don't want to hear about. PTSD uh I don't want to hear that you're. taking I don't you don't need to take. iasa all the time like a lot of these. people now just take IAS I just came. from a ceremony yeah but I mean it's. okay every now and then but people are. like overboard oh people are doing it. too much it's overboard it's like the. Incans did not come up with iasa so you. could try to figure out how to get a. Range Rover there's no way that that was.
the intended purpose of IAS it's a. religious they used to give it to kids. before they sacrificed them and killed. them and now and and if your Shaman is. named Jennifer and she lives in Studio. City it's not a shaman you can't follow. around a white in Santa Fe New. Mexico you're just a junkie at that. point you're a junkie if you're throwing. up into a bucket in Santa Fe New Mexico. with a white named Jennifer you. can't do K mean every week there's. people showing up they're going into the.
valley in La they sitting in a lazy boy. somebody who's not even a nurse but. who's dressed in the scrubs but they're. not you don't even know who a nurse is. anymore because they're just dressed in. those scrubs but that's somebody that. was door dashing a week ago and now they. injecting you ketamine and you're laying. in a chair just high you're a drug. addict it's not they go people go I do. it I do ketamine but under the care of a. doctor yeah that's not a doctor that's. not a doctor yes somebody that's. watching Amazon Prime on their phone or. listening to the Salt bur soundtrack.
while you're sitting there geeked out in. a lazy boy in a lazy boy and then. they're like hey did that help with your. PTSD they're like what war were you in. you go no I you know I wasn't in any War. I just you know yeah I had a a stressful. career as a gymnast I never made it to. the Olympic trials but like my parents. were real hard on me as a gymnast so I. got to come in here and get high once a. week yeah we were forced to wear tight. turtlenecks at our private school it was. real tough you know I sprained the. hamstring once my family like was like.
all right well your life's over so now I. got to get high in a strip mall once a. week it's like this may be not good rip. Matthew Perry sorry yeah rip man and. it's just where we are it really is man. it's like we're at the point where. people are going to be holding each. other. um at gunpoint yeah to subscribe to the. only fans are to get in the Uber. technology will be the new drugs I think. as technology better it will take the. place of drugs so when the metaverse.
gets so crazy that you can throw the. goggles on you g go I don't need iasa. yeah because I'm I'm in the thing I. you've created the digital world that I. can live in I don't need ketamine I'm. I'm whoever I want to be in the digital. world right like we were talking before. the show. started somebody with one leg in the. digital world has two legs and is. running yeah through a park and it's. running through a park and it's running. for office it's running for office in. San Francisco and it's there no no. homeless there on the digital world it's. just beautiful it's just the Painted.
Ladies those houses from the that oh. from uh Full House Full House you're. just running through that Park there's. there's no heroin addicts nothing it's. just you and your dog running through. the park but in real life you're. one-legged person living in a horrible. situation this episode is sponsored by. prize. pics yep if you like firing on Sports. then prize picks is the app for you you.
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EO see site for. details Tim Dylan good to see you man. yes thanks for having me we haven't seen. each other in a while we haven't seen. each other in a while you're killing it. you're all over the place I see you I. see you I'm like this is amazing you're. the funniest guy people love you so much. man that's very sweet of you to say um. did you ever like what was I going to. ask you I just got back from I just saw. the lahina fires man oo I just got back. from there I like a good fire yeah you.
know this was that was now here's the. thing I don't want anyone to die or. anyone to be hurt this wouldn't be your. space and I don't want anyone to lose. their property right but I just like a. nice crisp I like a control burn oh yeah. I like a controlled burn I think you go. in there you do a controlled burn. everybody goes to the hilltop kind of. watch it m and then and you go down and. rebuild together and then you go down. and rebuild you need to do that to thin. out the far. otherwise if they get overgrown this is.
what happens yeah I wanted to go scatter. my mother's ashes in Hawaii because she. died and she loved Hawaii did she really. yeah but it was a week after that I. thought it would be in poor taste to. come in with the ear you know what I. mean oh yeah you can't bring sand to the. beach I just don't want to and I come. with the n and I'm just with ashes just. kind of just kind of flinging them at. people or the ear as some black people. call it which is crazy right yeah that's. not what it want to do it but my mother. did love Hawaii but I was like you know.
what she won't know the difference if I. go down to Florida just kind of you know. what I mean oh yes the ocean's the ocean. well she won't know the difference if. you get one of those little uh Japanese. sand Gardens right and just dump her in. the midd that's what we're going to do. I'm actually just going to throw in East. River New York water's water water. eventually finds other water I think. that East River will eventually find. Hawaii I think that's the way Water. Works it has to be look just throw in. the Hudson Bobby Kennedy Jr will clean.
it off he'll figure it out him and his. wife will figure it out I love them. they're a fun couple I just went to his. uh 70th birthday they are amazing she's. amazing two nights ago she's so funny. the best thing about being around them. is when she's around too there's this. whole level of like comedy that's around. it all Yes um it's a fun sitcom where. she's like a fun bubbly Sunny person and. and the CIA killed his whole family it. is and it's just like a fun and it's.
like hilarity ensues you know what I. mean he's like looking for bombs in the. car and she's playing tennis it's a fun. mix they're an Odd Couple come and knock. on our door come and knock on our door. this could be our last day because. they've killed all of his dad his uncle. and people are like why is this guy so. skeptical about. stuff are you out of your mind it's. crazy people like why doesn't he trust. the government to inject us with the. right chemicals it's like they killed it.
probably got so non-eventful that they. would just open his door when he was a. kid and go they just killed someone else. and he'd go whatever did he even get. upset after the third or the fourth one. it was probably like yeah we get it yeah. at after that you got to be able to just. bet on who it's going to happen to on. prize and they would just come to him. and be like hey so your nephew just flew. into a mountain we think we don't even. know we think your cousin was eaten by a. shark but while she was skiing like they. didn't even make sense they're like she. was eaten by a shark on the slopes and.
he'd have to just take it he'd have to. go yeah man that's what happens when. sharks get into the mountains as. up yeah she fell she fell through a. pothole in in Her Imagination yeah they. would none of it made sense they were. like you there was there was like there. was one shooter who shot your father 18. times but that shooter was blind yeah he. was blind blind man who shot your father. in a hotel kitchen this is so sad to be. laughing have you been to the place the.
the the place where the shooting. happened I have not bro you Le you would. have to to to actually pull crazy you. would have to lean out of a window oh. that yeah JFK I was it that that is. facing kind of the other way you'd have. to lean out of this window you would. have to have a friend hold your leg. crazy while you lean out of a window. yeah at some point in that someone would. go man this is not a good idea we should. do it another way there's like this. there's no way this works it was.
impossible to do it was unbelievable. hard it was tough but he's for all that. he's like a remarkably well addressed. guy I agree I feel like he is I really. feel like he's the best choice agreed. either the way agreed yeah as a human. being that's gonna whether he's right or. wrong about I would rather that someone. cares and gives a about whatever's. going on the guy cares that they're. inject in could be injecting trash into.
people 100% yeah and and the whole thing. is like what I like about him is that he. like he's un he's un he doesn't care. right he has nothing to lose they've. taken everything from him they've taken. everything from him he's out there just. going this is my truth right there would. be a lot more money in it if he just. like went along with the rest of the. thing yeah if he just to an email from. Chuck Schumer right he could be like a. like he'd have a lot easier time if he.
just went along with everybody else but. that's what I think is so yeah I agree. it's just that he's not beholding. anybody no he's not beholding anybody he. can do kind of what he wants do you. think there's any path cuz I don't even. know if they'll let him on a lot of the. ballots are they letting him can you. look hard it's hard I think that there's. rules that keep him off certain ballots. they want him to pay for his own thing. like it's crazy though it's crazy but. they're trying to like um yeah I mean. like they're just trying to close ranks.
around uh Biden they don't want yeah. they're really protecting Biden a lot of. these lawyers are because by the way you. know Biden has gotten to a point where. it's almost a little fun now for the. people around him because it is like a. weekend at Bernie yeah it is kind of fun. because he's like essentially just. almost at the death's door and they're. all now like we're all in this together. oh he's like death Dash It's death Dash. they're in it together now so it's kind. of like we can't get out it's kind of. fun like late nights just propping him.
up like playing with him like a puppet. and going like we're just going to put. him out on the debate stage like giving. them good drugs injecting them like the. injections that Biden gets before the. first debate it will be nothing you've. ever heard like teams of people you ever. seen a scene in ET where they put a tent. around and they won't let anyone near it. before Biden walks on that debate stage. there's going to be an ET like tent and. just people in hazmat suits are going to. go in and just start injecting him with. things and then he's just G to walk out.
like a regular person and then you're. gonna go oh there's we have no idea. about he's gonna have a dip in in his. cheek of children's hair yeah he's going. to just start boxing like he's going to. come out they're going to be. like he'll start like throwing hands be. like there are drugs we've never heard. like there's technology we've never. heard of there are drugs we've never. heard oh they they're going to be. pumping they're going to be playing TI. they're going to be doing anything they. be like they'll they'll be say have a. Ouija board channeling corn poop from.
the swimming pool they're going. to be do can you imagine like doing. debate prep with him how nervous they're. going to be they're going to be sitting. there and they're going to be like okay. and then they're going to call like the. people in like the Deep State and stuff. they're going to go we gota we got to. really up up the dose here we're not I. mean like he's not responding to the. regular. stimuli need to really get in here with. something like really intense because he. just left the room we just asked him a. question he just walked out of the room.
he doesn't know where he is so like we. got to like play around with a cocktail. of things to just get him to a point. where he stands at the pod put him on. the AIDS meds they're going to have him. on everything you can be on dude he is. the crazy thing is they're gonna have it. so he's gonna be on AIDS meds they'll. have him on everything ketamine imagine. the scripts will be practicing with him. the week before Oh my God probably it'll. just be monologues from famous movies oh. my God it's gonna be things Tony Soprano. said they're like if if you forget just.
give this speech that Tony Soprano gave. to Anthony about World War II just if. that's the closest you can get to this. question read this. scene from The Sopranos where Tony. talked about the importance of Italian. Americans during World War II it's gonna. be dude he's going to be reading. monologues from the movie hooers. whenever Jean ha. try to get Jimmy Chitwood to run the.
picket fence it's going to be. unbelievable unbelievable by the way. that first debate I will be watching. just like there's nothing more. entertaining than that it's the Super. Bowl for someone like me to just watch. that go down it's old versus orange baby. it's old versus orange and it's just. they're both wild like Trump's going to. be just popping off cuz now Trump's also. four years older he doesn't even care. anymore and who's more likely to even. say the n-word it's different reason I. know because one could just bubble out a.
Biden or Trump could just fire. one off that he earned back in the. presidential candidates said the n in a. debate well if they did at the same time. I think it's what we all want to hear. yeah but if they a good point if they. just both said it at the exact same time. then it would just be a reset then the. country like at that point if they if. Trump and Biden say the N word at the. same time in that debate the Israelis. and the Palestinians just going to look. at each other and start embracing yeah. they'll hug because that's what we need. really oh it's exactly what we need man.
the fact that um but if if if if Bobby. Kennedy Jr was out there and got to. debate either one of them I think he. would crush them Bobby Kennedy Jr I. think would. absolutely wreak havoc in a debate he. should be out there why can't he debate. he's an independent candidate right they. just these big parties try to keep. everybody out because people try to get. in there like it you know what I mean. like people try to get in there like. like people just like I think Ben Glee.
was trying to like run for president. like so they just try to keep people out. because it could get real wild yeah you. know like the third party candidates. could kind of get wild oh definitely. that's true like you you'd have a bunch. of you'd have like one of the Real. Housewives you have an only fans model. on there some only fans model would get. out there yeah for the real housewi. she'd get out there you know and so like. you you you Charleston white probably. would be out there. hopefully you're right get this.
out there jeus huh wow it looks like the. it literally reminds me of uh like. the Muppets went to. makeup but that's the problem like so. that like here's the thing like as much. as I don't think it's fair that they're. keeping Bobby Kennedy out they do need. to keep certain people out right because. it would just be a waste of time yeah. Glee bran in. 2020 how did he do I don't know yeah how. did he do do we do was there I don't. know it's such a brave thing to do is.
it that's a good question what is brave. me I don't know I think it's Brave if. you get to a certain level right but if. most people don't know you did it right. it's not that brave right it's not yeah. yeah it wasn't successful I wonder it. becomes Brave like Bobby Kennedy's Brave. yeah I mean every single person that he. knows the government says died from a. headache yeah people are shocked like. hey why is this. curious about these government mandated.
medications they're like this guy should. just trust his government what's wrong. with him he won't trust his government. by the way your aunt died she was struck. by lightning eight times uh in her car. anyway moving on so you know I don't. know man I just I'd like to maybe Run. for the governor of California try to. clean it up wow just where would you. start we just had a uh a homeless guy. just threw a a bird scooter through one. of our producers um girlfriend's Windows. I'm against that are you so that's my.
first that's my first thing I no I'm. against it it's getting crazy dude. there's a bunch of and I told this story. before you know some of the um homeless. or Outdoorsman or whatever like new. Native Americans what some people are. calling them yeah that's interesting how. do the old Native Americans feel about. that well I don't think they should feel. good about it and I would love to see. them rise up and attack the home yeah I. think that's probably and just for. YouTube we want to be very careful we're. not calling for that right right I would. like to see them rise up and challenge.
challenge in a in a in a American Ninja. Warrior way we kind of be like a but my. thing is I think with California you. just got to get the wine people up north. in like Napa Valley you got to get them. involved because I think that's like. where the power lies in the wine. Community because it's a lot of like. rich white drunks and that's like where. all that that big that power is up there. and I would just try to get them to just. kind of like Focus right mer love Yeah. you got to take the want because they're. all just that's a problem with the state.
is that you they're all like by 3 p.m. they're hammered one mer love that could. be your campaign Right One More Love by. 3 p.m. all these people are just drunk. and you keep trying to explain to them. you're like there's people throwing. birds scooters and they're like get out. of here they're just hammered and. they're just drinking wine they're. eating cheese and they're living this a. beautiful area and and they're like and. you're telling them all these stories. you go a woman gave birth in a a in a in. a eloo loco and they're going get out of. here they're just getting a h so I think.
we gotta just focus them yeah like I. think they definitely are it's. definitely the rich looking down being. like Oh what are they up to today. they'll ask someone that's right they'll. ask a door Dasher hey what are people. doing down there yeah they'll go what's. going on and then like halfway through. the answer they check out cuz they can't. handle it they go wait a minute what. yeah they go yeah there you know van. Supermarket there was a guy the. meat and they go get out of here man I. can't handle this I'm just trying to get.
drunk at 4 p.m. come on brother can you. see how rich I am I'm just trying to get. drunk enough to look my son in the eye. have a. conversation can you see I'm trying to. get drunk enough to breastfeed my own. child yeah it's a problem with how rich. people are here in California it's it's. too rich well here's one of the problems. it's really true is people are so rich. that they're the they start to look at. their time by the value of an hour. that's a great point and they're like if. I spend minutes talking to this door. Dash human right alleged human that God.
has said is human that's right well then. that's that that's. $700 I'm losing when you're like that. level of Rich you can kind of just like. you shrug off an amazing amount of stuff. yeah like they go how bad is it really. you know and then somebody go they go. there's like 300,000 people on the. street and they go is 300,000 a. lot is that even. is that a lot they go because the world. has like billions of people so we're.
talking about only 300,000 people with. that home on the street in India that. would just be a natural afternoon yeah. they're like that's fine they go I don't. think that's a problem and now things. are getting so bad if you try to tell a. rich person not bad as getting like. somebody who's really rich they act like. you're making something up yeah like. there was a guy last night in I was. driving on Santa Monica in West Holly at. West Hollywood and he was just running. darting cuz they Dart across like the. street well it's risky for them and they. just D across the street and he had a.
skateboard with no wheels he just had. the board oh yeah and I didn't. understand what that was and he just and. he he had it and then he just in the. middle of my car just stopped and looked. at me like hit me wow and I was just. like I don't want to I'm not trying to. hit you know it's people looking for. accidents it's people that were just. like kind of like I don't know what it. was he was like a Deering headlights God. and I just swerve around him but it's. like people just mentally aren't. together and they need help. someone needs to help them they their. people are missing their wheels they're.
they don't have their wheels and someone. needs to like step in there and help and. like go like hey man what's going on but. the only people that they're. encountering for any sort of guidance. are door Dash people it's door Dash. people the door Dash but here's the. thing door Dash people by the way. earlier on I said you weren't human. beings by guns forget that yeah that was. crazy because I I here's what I meant by. that we need you now more than ever amen. because what you need to do is up you. are the therapist you the therapist. homeless people if there's somebody that.
is homeless and is having a problem on. the corner you need to put the ramen. down put the ramen down and go address. the problem what's going on sir I am a. door Dash. professional yes I'm a licensed door a. LIC professional food delivery service. professional can I assist now this. person is gon to be yelling and pointing.
at something that isn't there invisible. yeah it's gonna be gonna be pointing at. something they in this Dimension you. cannot see so you're just going to have. to like bear with them bear with them. it's not going to happen first question. you go are you on any medications right. now have you taken any drugs yeah got to. ask that in a non-threatening. way and then you're going to need to you. will be equipped with markers and paper. you're going to need to get these people. to draw a picture of's of what's.
happening and then a a separate picture. to calm them down of their ancestors no. for sure and here's the thing we need to. give the homeless people service animals. but service animals that are a little. husu that can take because it could get. they need a lot of love some of the. homeless people so we need to go out. there with like maybe Potbelly like pigs. wild hogs I mean yeah something that can. can really something that has a little. girth to it animals that got dis. qualified from the ID Rod not cute. puppies nothing we need Chows we need.
Asian animals that can handle this kind. of to that could slap them around be an. animal that can if they start to can. fight it back so that the homeless. person learns to respect the animal you. need an animal that will be quiet in. court yeah you need an animal that lays. down the law immediately with the. homeless person goes I will be your. emotional support thing but if you touch. me like that again I'll cut you I'll. kill you I will choke you out and kill. you so sometimes those little kangaroo. bear might be good in Australia the ones. that are just yeah the boxing ones yeah.
the ones that are in the trees and like. things like that where they just you. don't think of them as emotional support. animals but they have but they know they. can do it they can do it but they're. also Tough Enough when the homeless. person throws a. fit they're able to literally pull pull. them down and lay on top of them yeah we. need animals. gorillas we need to give homeless people. in La silver back gorilla emotional. support so that if they start going nuts. outside of a Starbucks and it just we.
should normalize us normalize seeing a. gorilla sitting on a homeless guy. outside of a Starbucks and you just nod. at that gorilla like thank you I know. exactly what you're doing sbgs they're. called okay they don't like to be. referred to as their full name but. silverback gorillas they need to be out. there because here's the problem for a. long time Starbucks and some of these. other big overlords as I like to call. them now the corporate overlords. overlords uh they hired like down. syndrome workers but that's which is.
great but it's not they don't have the. level of um jiujitsu no they can that. some that you that a SBG has a Down. syndrome worker is in a it's got to be a. nice environment like a upper middle. class nice like a Vineyard Vines like a. Vineyard Vines environment and because. then it's all nice yeah if somebody. takes a little time like I let there's a. a Down syndrome coffee shop in. Georgetown in Washington DC and like the. CIA people go in there and they're real. nice to them you know they're like good.
hey thank you and then they go you know. to wherever they're do and do horrible. things maybe but to the down central. people they're really sweet right. they're real sweet um but no we we do. need some because it can't be these. social workers aren't equipped they're. not equipped anymore and they don't want. to do it and they've also given up a lot. of them are just creating uh profiles. social profiles a lot of social workers. are also doing only fans so they get. clients confused you'll have a therapist. log onto his zoom and just start showing.
their but hole and it's like what. because the thing a homeless person. wants to find out because like can you. imagine that you're homeless you got the. big Cape yeah and there's this guy in. trebeca where I spent some time. sometimes has a big Cape I'm sure the. government bought it for him yeah he has. like that big furry Cape oh yeah and. he's like they kind of bedazzle him kind. of like they do those Fab eggs he's kind. of like a Game of Thrones guy and he's. in the winter he's kind of it's not a. bad look it's kind of like statue but. then like you know he's always kind of. rapping to himself he's always got his. headphones he's kind of doing this back.
and forth yeah exactly and then the his. social worker comes over he's like hey. what's going on and then if he's like. aren't you and he points her a. photo on only fans immediately she has. no credibility yeah aren't you chatty. 30 right you have no credibility. I'm watching you right now yeah I'm. watching you right now finger yourself. so and then you come to me and you ask. me what's wrong I can ask you the same. question what is wrong so that's where. it's going to be it's going to be. homeless only fans social workers.
chatting with d door Dash professional. Prof door Dash clinical door Dash. psychiatric professionals and then we. need highly trained. spgs Sil gorilla so that they know when. it is and isn't appropriate to step in. and calm a homeless person down by. sitting on them outside of a Five Guys. yeah yeah it and that is our that's not. a bad idea that's our campaign brother. it's not a horrible idea um they had.
what was what is that the coffee shop. with the Down Syndrome people it's. called B bidy and Bose I believe. something go there it's really nice and. I like to go back and forth with him in. a in a way in a nice way there we go. bidy and Bose yeah Human Rights Movement. disguised as a coffee shop yes it's nice. man I go in there and I go what's good. today yeah do you like this you know and. and here's the thing in all down. syndrome people want to do is work for. 11 to 12 hours a day I know they want to.
engage people they want to work well. they're also and they want that human. connection well what's funny is they're. more and then there's people in there. that don't have Down syndrome and. they're very lazy oh yeah there's a lot. of people in there there's a lot of DSis. it's like down syndrum. imposters yeah where there's people that. will go in there literally put freckles. on right yeah this makes me nervous. because everybody has down like that's. not everybody okay there's a few others. it's almost like uh somebody needs to. there's got to be one person that does.
it's like where's Waldo kind of it is. like where's Waldo but I think there's. there are also lazy. people who consider themselves. lobbyists crazy in DC basically I love. how if you're out of work in DC you're a. lobbyist and they will go in and they. will put freckles on and they will how. lazy do you have to be to be in a coffee. shop and look at a Down syndrome person. and go can you get that unbelievable. it's unbelievable like you're an. employee and you go to somebody with. down C you go by the way I'm stepping.
out I'm taking a break what I'm taking a. break you got this right all right like. it's got to be you got to really check. what your life's at if you're going to. somebody with Down syndrome and going I. gotta take off tomorrow I can't be here. can you handle this it's just where the. fact that people are like are we at the. end of times we are we are we have down. Center people are happy they're working.
yeah we we can't even do that no without. crying online camine dying our hair. taking one of our eyes out of our head. some guy took his eye out of his head. the other day for no reason and that's. crazy well it's just it's like it's a. lot it's a lot when you're taking your. eye out yeah like what the cuz by the. way no one cares it's one of those. things you do and no one cares yeah you. think it's going to have a big you think. it's going to be a big moment and it's. nothing I have two friends and their. wives have each of them has one eye oh.
wow because one of them had a thing and. another one had a thing they just they. just each don't have an eye pervert. everybody's perverted yeah no one no one. no one even it's not even a big deal. well nobody cares anymore cares anymore. unless you're willing to really take. your limbs off that's right put. them in your own ass yeah you got to do. something with those you got to. what just happened in the news wasn't. there something where we looked looking. at earlier. Nick oh uh man arrested for faking heart.
attack in over 20 restaurants I respect. this I respect this nowadays because at. least this guy is even it used to be. this you did a slip and fall in a. Walmart or whatever you got. 25,000 and then you raised a son or. whatever but now at least this guy a. 50-year-old from Lithuania was recently. arrested in Spain at least he's willing. to travel and see the world after. allegedly faking heart attacks at. several restaurants in order to avoid. paying the bill what's great about this.
to me is that this guy you know like is. basically going out there and he knows. one of them is g to be real yeah like he. knows oh he's playing it's live by the. sword Die By The Sword you know what I. mean. like classic boy who cried wolf like he. goes one of these days it's going to be. real but he's like not today like he. walks it off there's only time so many. times you can try to teach your aortas. to talk and then finally they.
yell when you fake a heart attack that's. got to be a lot yeah but your heart's. like hey what's go maybe I should learn. this right So eventually it's just gonna. be a real one but I love that this guy's. willing to put in work this is what. you're going to have to do now to. entertain the Lords the insurance Lords. yes you're going to have to do what did. the guy do he just oh he broke. his leg once on a bad pothole him. to fake a lot of stuff yeah this guy at. least he he yeah he faked 20 heart.
attacks let's give him a couple thousand. you know and it's we only care about a. heart attack that's how heartless we are. you have to be incapacitated yeah you. can't just go in and go like I don't. have a lot of money yeah I have hives or. whatever nobody gives FU no one cares I. have shingles yeah I was molested get no. one cares can you imagine going. into a place going I was molested and. the waitress going I I was also molested. uh so. what do you want the bread sticks cuz. they're $8 they charge for bread now go.
to a restaurant they charge for bread. and butter they charge for bread and. butter you used to be able as a homeless. person to go in fake it out get a little. bread and butter in you maybe get a soup. in yeah like oh just came from home yeah. yeah just at the house do you know. looking at the remote or something and. lie times have changed um it is it's. interesting man what's going on in in. your world I guess dude well I mean you. know I'm I'm I'm just trying to you know. trying to live out the the the dream of.
you know being grateful for being lucky. enough to make people happy hopefully. you know it almost feels there's a lot. there's a lot to that where you got to. kind of always remind yourself that. you're doing a fun thing and a cool. thing and you don't want to get caught. up in any of the and the. nonsense of it yeah you know yeah it's. kind of hard to well it's not hard but. it's like it can I can see how it can. happen you almost though see like so. many like celebrities and like Hollywood. is such a example of all of that so I.
think as comedians these days it seems. like you have such a good example of. like the Avenues not to go down yeah. just try to keep your head about you and. do and get excited about what you're. doing a lot of it becomes about like how. big can it be or how is there your reps. will call you go there's money here yeah. there's M you know and then you just got. to be like but am I happy with like the. things I'm actually doing am I putting. out that's funny so that's like the the. the hard part yeah who do you want if. there is somebody who really wanted to.
do like a television or film you'd have. to really want to do it cuz we're lucky. enough to be able to go and perform you. have to really love it there's something. I really want to do there's like one. thing I've always wanted to do and I. don't know how I'll do it or or who I'll. do it with but it's just that one thing. like I don't have 10 things yeah and if. I never get to do it that's okay too. because I've been able to do a lot of. other things but there's this one idea. could be a show could be a movie it's. just one thing I've always wanted to to. do and I just want to do that and then. I'd be done you'd be good with that I'd. be good with that so that might happen.
or it may not happen and I'd also be. good with it not happening because I. think at a certain point you got to give. it to God and go if it doesn't happen it. doesn't happen yeah yeah I think like. David Spade and I wrote that film that. maybe you would be in did that was super. cool so that would be cool getting to do. something with dusi I think would be. neat amazing he's so funny um but yeah. outside of that I don't know if I had. much ambition it it would have to be. something you really loved and you. wanted to do it got to really love it. because we have the ability to go out. and make people happy that are are right. in front of us so fortunate and a lot of.
people don't like a lot of actors you. meet actors and they're just. waiting for people to call them it used. to be like actors would you know they'd. be like happy now you talk to them. they're like they're like not happy yeah. they're like just kind of waiting around. well everyone in Hollywood is having to. bet I mean they're literally having to. strike for their for some. earnings that's like the people that are. they're trying to take their jobs away. with AI the writing and even the um the.
extra work imagine that you can't even. be a extra no they're just. trying they want the celebrities we have. now to be the last ones yes they want. Timothy shalam who I like and he says. nice things about my comedy apparently. uh he's a good man but this twink can't. be the last one is that. lbu it looks slightly like lbu but you. know Mau is yeah D me too. yeah he's I do some drill he's. yeah but I just I started reading about.
drill I tried to explain to Louis CK. what drill rap was oh it'd be hilarious. to watch that but say Shel me he can't. be the last dude like he can't be he. can't play Rosa Parks you know what I. mean yeah he can't be the last actor we. have we need other people so I think. what Hollywood's doing right now they're. going like look Tom Hanks give me a. margar Robbie give me this give me a sh. let's get a five let's let's get him. they're it this is it we're going to. take their likeness we're going to put. them in everything we're going to shut. it down we're going to shut it down I.
agree that's how crazy they're getting. they're like give me a. shalam give me a Margot Robbie give me a. Michael P Jordan give me this give me. that give me whoever we got now yeah we. don't want anyone new and we're going to. take their likess and use it again so. shalam will be every like you'll be. watching a movie and he'll just maybe be. two or three of the characters yep he'll. be in the sub he'll be in a Subway. commercial he'll be he be crazy they'll. just Ros Parks you heard about that it's. like a drunk woman who but she wouldn't. leave the bus cuz she was drunk right.
and Timothy sh is playing her yeah hope. be playing her yeah I just think that is. we've got to stop like I like him a lot. I think he's a talented actor. unbelievable but we can have him in. everything right it'll just be yeah I. mean Jacob B lordy was in saltburn and. then he was also Elvis Presley it's it's. just that's a different one huh uh. that's um a different one that's not the. same guy no that's Austin Butler oh no. but but in Priscilla I'm sorry have you. seen Priscilla no but he was in that. allor dude Priscilla is good movie yeah.
I'm not all the way finished so it might. not be good but so far it seems good the. first two-thirds of it good well you I. like euphoria's a great show I haven't. seen that yet he was in that he's in. that oh I didn't know that I got to go. down the lordy rabbit hole but it. definitely I get it he's he's one of. them that's going to be in the he made. it in he made it in but it's getting. fewer it's getting far betweener Tate. McCrae I'm sure they will get but it's. getting very few and far between I agree. that the door is shutting the door is. shutting and they're like we don't need.
L people we don't need any more we'll. just take these guys Michael B Jordan. yeah just a few of these guys and then. we'll and then they're going to just. start putting people in stuff that don't. act you know they'll be like Travis. Kel's famous right he yeah he can. definitely play they throw him in you. know Dracula or whatever they'll throw. anybody in you know what I mean they. might be just like let's put put him in. so I don't know I I don't know what's. coming for the this town I don't know.
because a lot some of the good actors. have also Daniel Day Lewis just went off. and he said I'm not doing this right I. think he lives in Ireland in like a. castle or something yeah yeah I mean. even some of the great yeah they're. just remember that singer Ena yeah she. had those songs they were. like like that would be her song she'd. be. like she's done now she just went she. went to a castle in IR look up her house. look up Anya house Ireland you want to. show you how to do it right wow that's.
how to do it right that's Kat Von Den. right there you know what I mean she. just lives in a c she's it she goes. I don't care about. Malibu yeah I'm going to go live in a. castle I don't want I don't want to have. to hose down yeah homeless people. looking for a warm piece of bread. outside my I have a meeting every. morning with my door Dash guards yeah. dude I don't want to have to. peel the bird scooters out of my. stepdaughter's wind. that's crazy that somebody threw a bird. scooter at someone like that what is it.
is it a mating call in certain. communities it is I think it actually is. because to be honest with you if I'm a. homeless female and I see a male and he. has the strength to take a bird scooter. and put it through the windshield of a. Civic I go that's someone who can. protect me oh I'm going to split my last. pocket full of humus with so immediately. I go to him with the things I have the. viddles that I've collected throughout. the day the candy corn the the air. fresheners from the car I got and I. start sharing my gold with him because.
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your first month that's better. [Music]. hp.com EO so I do I do believe but. Hollywood it's definitely gotten you. know what I think I was thinking about. this earlier they just got no. everybody's just keeping their money. nobody's even brave enough to take a. risk anymore it feel nobody wants to. take a risk all the movies are like. remakes of things that have already. happened it's like Wonka it's like dude. there's. nobody that story saltburn was original.
saltburn was great but with Willie Wonka. here's the. deal it was a freak who liked chocolate. everyone gets it yeah and he liked Also. let's just say it children he was there. was something wrong in that I'll say. that in that in that Chocolate Factory. and they've told the story now multiple. different times and I'm creeped out. every time I walk out of the theater I. go something's not right well you want a. little chocolate like what is this. you want a little chocolate there's.
something and Grandpa Joe remember the. this was good the first one was good it. was good the first one was good and and. Sydney porier should have been in it. though I I think Sy should have also. been in it but like they're going too. far well now it's just crazy they had. the one with the Indian they were trying. to be so pro-indian one year and they. put all the Indians in it that was the. one with the uh joh and they had every. Indian Oompa Loompa and they did 7,000. instead of paying extra Indians they. just they just put them in a math. equation with the AI like they 3D.
printed Indians that's all they did. that's all they did with the same little. guy same can you imagine like a meeia in. Hollywood they bring a one Indian guy. they go you're going to play 7,000 Oompa. Loompas and we're sorry that we've kind. of demeaned you we're only going to pay. you for one but it but but I do like I. gotta be honest I do like this guy oh. this guy's amazing I met him this guy is. kind of amazing Deep Roy I met him in a. uh Park in Santa Monica he is let's be. honest the top. one yeah the best one he is the Deep Roy.
I think is the best one and he should. have been Elvis how do you I. agree with you how do you not make zoom. in on this guy is that his wife how is. Deep Roy right there is fine yeah how is. that's Elvis Presley is that's Elvis. Presley how is this not Elvis that is. Elvis Presley it just that's why. Hollywood you're like you're up. man what was he when he was in that. little hat with Yoda what is that what. that oh look at that now this that's. kind of beautiful this is probably one.
of the uh Democrat who's put who's. putting this on him probably some. democratic Lord can you see can we just. scroll down a little like the Bohemian. Grove can we scroll down oh sorry can. you scroll up a little I just want to. see who's putting that helmet on him. that's Nancy Pelosi yeah probably she's. putting a Yoda mask on him this is if. you want to work in Hollywood this is. yeah this is how it happens this is kind. of sick they're into but it's also. it's like that the fact people have to. go on strike to get paid it's.
crazy when they're already out here all. the time you spend volunteering as. actors to even get work and then you. have to go on strike and be in a union. um what was the thing that it said with. dear deck a bunch of people went to um. what was that uh I don't know did you. see that no what happened about. Ridiculousness they changed the amount. of. episodes um they're always trying to. really screw over the people in like.
they can't fight back. yes like if you're like an extra and you. were like in Batman and you were the hot. dog guy you can't yeah you can't afford. the attorneys that are going to battle. them you can't fight back so they're. basically like we've just we've just. aied you you're the hot dog guy and. everything now and then it's like hell. cuz you're the famous hot dog guy people. come back from the movie theater and. they go that's my dad yeah but then they. have no money have no way to contact no. money and he's he's living in the desert.
and it's terrible and like people just. see see him all the time they go he's. got like you know he's got maybe. diabetes or something and he's just. sitting there and they're going you're. the guy that always serves the hot dog. to every superhero he has no money no. way to even get home he's put he'll. literally put just sit there all day and. put mustard on his finger and licking. mustard in the middle of the desert in. the Salt Flats of the California Nevada. desert living here and they go this guy. is a hot dog guy and they act like he. died he doesn't even die and you have. like an in memorium to him the Academy.
Award because they don't want to pay him. anymore they want to pay him so they. just say he died they get him and he's. screaming in a Greyhound bus station. goes I'm alive you I'm alive and. then he's on the Greyhound bus and. everybody's watching the watching like. that's him like this him that's him and. he's on the way and that's a great film. by the way and then he's on the way to. Hollywood and then he has to kill the. executives that's kind of interesting oh. yeah that's not horrible or he has to. damage the executives we'll say that Dam. he has to teach them a lesson cuz we got.
a lot of we've had a lot of uh I have a. lot of issues there's a lot of things. because you know there's a lot of things. out there that just people misconstrued. 100% yeah um yeah they had uh but what. was the issue with dear can you bring. that article back up um yeah they storm. ridiculous R RI Ridiculousness writers. stormed Rob jer's office asking for a. meeting but he was nowhere to be found. so they straight up tried to get him yep. on January 4th the writers of. ridiculousness asked host and executive. producer Rob jck for his support for a.
fair contract wow wow they just want a. fair contract apparently around 10 of. the show's writers storm deck's office. but were turned away when they called. and left messages no one answered. because you know what it is they looked. at January 6th and they go that got some. results like that woke people up a. little bit that got some heat you know. that got some heat you know rightly or. wrongly it got some heat so I think a. lot of these writers were like let's. your storm his office right now yeah and. try to. like they asked host dear deck for. support for fair contct name Ryan Conor.
uh I am here my fellow writers at Rob's. office because we just wanted to ask him. for his support in our efforts to get. our first he was a comic New York City. wow tried to go up. um ACC or whatever oh gosh go sorry. that's okay uh we called we left a. message nobody answered hi uh this is. the writers from ridiculous business we. are here in the ground floor of the. building just to ask if we could talk to. Rob for so it looks like they're trying.
to go there and and get a hold of him. and they can't is that the gist of it. Nick that is that's a gist and you know. that guy Ryan Connor yeah he was a nice. guy he was a comic in New York City and. I guess he moved out here I guess became. a writer wow and what did that article. say towards the end Nick do you. mind um oh it said uh we are currently. compensated at a rate well below our. peers no well below our peers riding for. w GA coverage shows like Ridiculousness. the next step is they going to have to. kidnap him well and they're going to. call and they're going to go we have him.
like we have Rob Deer deck and what do. you want from him and yeah and I'm not. saying that I condone that sort of thing. no of course not but I'm saying like the. next step logically logically is to. kidnap Rob Deer deck and they're gonna. go hi and he could do it like just the. way he did it you could be like hey um. is Ryan Connor and uh I I just want to. say we have robbed your deck it's just. like we tried it the first way yeah we. tried it your way we into the lobby. remember that Terminator and knew he's. in a boxy his box few times like like. Mak some sounds hits me I me and R goes.
yeah yeah yeah get by a skateboard yeah. yeah yeah he goes he goes we got red. your deck here he's unharmed I hit the. Box ah hear him he's unarmed but we are. just trying to get a fair contract so. let's start the negotiation yeah let's. start it now let's just start it now. because we have ra and an undisclosed. location but that's the next logical. step here you have to kidnap M uh Comm. deer you have to Common deer Rob Deer. deck yes for a few days yes for a few.
days to just get. people awake awake because this doesn't. by the way I see that I see people in. the lobby of a building I go all right. yeah so what you know but you got to pay. these people you got to pay them money. what does it say about the episodes Nick. they used to do 30 in 2011 when they. started and now they're doing 3 36 wow a. year and they're not. Union wow well they got to put him in a.
box yeah I mean or they could do the old. school move you ever see marcha Wooden. Soldiers uhuh Laur and Hardy fat guy. thin guy. brilliant they mail themselves in a box. the old school move yeah to Rob Troy Rob. Deer exactly Trojan Horse Trojan Horse. Rob Deer deck they're like he goes oh. someone sent something like the studio. sent something nice to the house they. got a big box the it opens and it's the. whole writing staff yeah right there.
there at a standon olly it's the whole. writing staff and then all of the. sudden then but then they still here's. what's interesting about that they. actually still have to kidnap him right. so it's like forget the Box because they. still have but they still mean business. it's a way to get in the building it's a. way to get in the building but they they. have to just say hi my name is Ryan. Connor I'm a writer at Ridiculousness. and we have Rob yeah we try to your way. yeah and but Rob is here and Rob is now. very enthusiastic about this new. contract aren you rob hit the cage.
Rob Rob is had a change of heart he's. actually leading the. charge for this new contract right H the. cage yes yeah give give them anything. they want we're not even asking for that. Rob but thank you for say that I believe. we have them that's that quote you just. heard was give them anything they want.
please I just want to leave here alive. he's being fed we're taking care of him. no one's abusing him you think if I. don't even think they pay people to I. think they offered me to go on that show. before and they don't even pay you to go. it's not good if they're not paying they. don't even pay you to go be a guest on. that show yeah like they say oh will you. get publicity out of it that's what they. always say about everything we're paying. you an exposure right but yeah these. people are exposed they they don't have. health care that's the problem people. are exposed are in the elements yeah you.
think you think writing 336 episodes of. this. show yeah what even is this show they. get like Snookie and someone else to. they get Snookie and then they Commander. some brother out there right and uh they. just you know it's usually like somebody. that knocked up a Kardashian or. something or at least came near one and. they get them to um right to do to to to. literally look at videos of people who. are breaking their necks doing different.
stunts. gotcha they make and make fun of them. they say that right okay well again I. Chanel West Coast is onest she's. actually really funny yeah she's really. funny I just you know I'm I'm never a. person for extremes but I do believe in. this rare instance it just targeting. power being what it is M it it just if. you have them it makes it a lot easier. yeah yeah I agree just throwing it out.
you have them if you have them in an un. like like think about the movie Seven. great movie Seven great movie now the. reason that everybody was so uh wound up. in seven is because. there there was a serial killer who just. kept like leaving little notes and you. know communicating with the cops making. phone calls yeah gossipy kind of guy. gossipy kind of guy but he didn't show. up in the um you know like the office. building you know what I mean what he.
was able to do is really capture. people's attention by by actually going. like hey I got the I I'm I'm I got the. thing I got the guy so the reality is. what they need to do is just in a nice. way uh kidnap him yeah I think command. Dearing is the term we like to use. that's correct command Dearing someone. command Deering someone yeah for the. purposes of a negot contract negotiation. is great yeah well look it's getting to. that point and I won't be because at one.
point all it's going to take is the. policeman to say wait I'm not on the. side of this company no the police I'm. on the side of this person here's the. brilliant thing about this the police. might help this yeah the police actually. the police might the they might not look. too hard for him right they might not be. looking too hard for him yeah okay. because the show I believe is. celebrating accidents right yeah. celebrating just public lawlessness yeah.
the cops aren't looking too hard for. this guy and plus here's the thing if. they're not paying people for the clips. that I'm using I'm sure they're not. right and they're not paying guests to. go on there and I it's probably like. some guy in like a on a stretcher and. they just like a producer runs up to him. and they go do you mind if we use this. un Ridiculousness and the go and they're. like great that counts yeah will you put. little your salive on this contract. right yeah um but I and I remember them. offering and they did not offer a. payment on it but then who's making all.
the money then probably the network I. mean the show these days it's only. ridiculous it's their own what was the. deal they had and I'm all for people. making money yeah and I'm not trying to. on maybe it's just a. misunderstanding but no and maybe he's. doing the right thing I'm not right. we're not being negative we're just. saying Zoom I'm zooming out I'm zooming. out that this is is an overall this I. don't even care who he is who they are. I'm just talking about negotiations in. general agreed one person usually has.
all the leverage yeah is my point and if. you yeah and sometimes you have to bring. a true article to the uh yeah like what. the writers did there we had no. imagination right which maybe means they. shouldn't be getting paid maybe they. shouldn't be getting paid I got to be. honest I didn't see one funny thing. happen that's a good point there was not. one funny thing those writers sometimes. you got to bring a real article to the. they all dressed up like clowns and they. were like oh you're treating us like. clowns but bloody clowns or big like.
remember big that passed away remember. Rob and Big what if they all dress up. like big like mummified big like we came. back from the grave and big would be. ashamed of this to yes big would be. ashamed of the way we're being treated. kind of like a Christmas story like a. Christmas carol rip big too big they all. so our our thing is telling the writers. to do blackface well I well I'd go. sure but I I'm just saying at this point. at this point you're desperate time. action desperate measur yeah know I get. it now a black writer you they call Rob.
Dudu they go listen listen to this the. writers are mad they're in the lobby of. the building but here's here's where. they up Rob they're all in. blackface you're off the hook you're. actually Fu or you don't have to pay any. of them or Hollywood's so scared of. everything they like we better pay these. black writers right now that's right. that's the truth that's a good point. Hollywood be like the last thing we want. to do is upset the black community. that's right yeah they come in if I yeah. if I were black I would just Sue. everybody in Hollywood that's true to be. honest with you that's a good point to.
be honest with you just start suing. every human being in Hollywood yeah I ju. I just know that Rob has the biggest de. I he is all that's on MTV is I don't. even know what MTV is anymore idea is is. Ridiculousness well good hey I like I. said everybody's got to do what they. want to do in this world you. know um what else were we looking at. Nick what else you had you brought. up oh neighbors say Party House in. Beverly Hills is run by squatters this.
is right up the same Avenue we're. talking about right um can you uh yeah. what do they say neighbors are fed up. with what they're calling a problem. house on the border of Beverly Hills and. Bair they say wild parties are being. thrown there all the time by squatters. police have been to the homes numerous. times but the homeowners uh home. ownership rather status is complicated. eyewitness who a porter Josh Haskell has. the details condoms in drug. paraphernalia litter Beverly Grove place. outside a party house located on the.
border of Beverly Hills in B neighbors. tell Eyewitness News squatters have been. living here for a few months throwing. wild parties that they advertise and. charge admission for the squatters even. claimed they were raising money for the. victims of the October 7th Hamas attack. they're showing up at 2 and 3 in the. morning with loud cars motorcy squatter. that's good is it uh victims of the yeah. I mean you guys see this part of it okay. it's just a little aside police we do. something the LAPD has been to the home.
numerous times but the ownership status. is complicated it was owned by disgraced. Dr munir uo Who flood the United States. and is reportedly living in Lebanon. after he was accused of playing a role. in the murder of 21-year-old model. Juliana reding who he had dated UA has. also been linked to an insurance fraud. scheme the company mdrc Properties LLC. is currently listed as the owner but. they filed for bankruptcy last year the. home is now for sale for $4.5 million.
according to neighbors and their private. investigator the squatters who live here. have their driver's licenses registered. to this home which has slowed the. eviction process they claim. that I say I support squatter I do. because the reality of the situation is. is that you you you want people in one. Place yeah and you want people to you. know if this is a house that's owned by.
a guy who fled the country because he. murdered his girlfriend and by the way. that's what I love about La it just. attracts good people you know what I. mean just attracts like good salt of the. earth like what a beautiful story yeah. about a doctor who killed a 21y old some. some only fans check and then fled to. Lebanon like that's by the way that if. you're a realtor in La you assume that's. everyone you're showing a house to. you're like you're GNA live here for. about five years then you're going to. kill a girl and go to Lebanon so don't.
worry about the resale value it's not a. big deal you're just here to kill one. person yeah um but if that's the case I. mean why shouldn't squatters move into. his house and enjoy it well yeah I think. look if the if rich people are just. going to hide that's right and kill. people and then you have got to get in. there and spend time with them yeah and. a lot of rich people yeah they say they. don't want you there right but that's. not true buddy no he's in Lebanon in.
their heart to a lot of rich people want. other people to be around they want you. to be there at dinner they want you to. live in the laundry room or wherever you. see fit yeah and at the end of the day. it's like if you're squatting in a. property of a guy like he has no. authority to tell you what to do like he. could call the house and be like hey. that's my house and all you have to say. is yeah why AR you here that's it are. you on vacation you killed a and. you fled to Lebanon so yeah I'm going to.
swim in your pool yeah yeah I mean no. one has any moral Authority in that. situation well you got to tell them. you're saging the premises as well I. think you come in with a small oh yeah. you go we're trying to help you out we. got bleach we're wiping everything down. helping you out dude like we're helping. you out this is like Don't Tell Mom the. Babysitter's Dead. like oh my God D you know what I mean. like it's like we're throwing a huge. party to cleanse the house of your. murder you're lucky that we're here for. free first of all we're here for free.
yeah first of all he's screaming from. Lebanon and go first of all let me just. stop you there you're. welcome let's start with you're welcome. okay because we had a pool guy in here. twice last week okay you're welcome and. yeah we're having a few parties to raise. money for the victims of the Hamas. attack yeah yeah in your house we're. having a fundraiser and this is where. we're doing it look we're raising money. to make the next Big Mama's House you. know we're trying to solve the Middle.
East yeah we're trying to raise money. for the Ridiculousness riters we are. doing all sorts of by the way are the. Ridiculousness writers the ones in that. house hopefully yeah that's problem. hopefully they're getting free rent cuz. that's where they're plotting their. whole thing we're like we're in this. house we're squatting in the house and. we're just trying to get Rob Deer deck. to pay us money so we can get Apartments. so we don't have to live in this Mansion. of this murderer look if there are. extremely wealthy people out of town I.
and you and they are you consider them. or people in your area consider them. some Lord or deviant or dark artist. right I don't think there's anything. wrong with spinning time in their home. they have a pool the pool didn't kill. anyone they're not even there did the. terrist kill someone no so you're. basically going into a piece of real. estate I think real estate's blameless I. I did not blame I don't blame Brentwood. for OJ's activities yeah I don't look at. the house and go oh you look at this I.
mean they they've demolished it now but. like Epstein's townhouse didn't do. anything wrong agreed it's the people. inside. MH yeah and so I think yeah if there's a. house in a fancy area and you love it. get in there I think I think get in. there and it's been look for murderers. in your area who. fled cuz all it takes is two or three. houses in a neighborhood for this happen. to and then the property values all come. down and we can all again and by the way. if you live in a nice area there are.
definitely a few murderers who have. fled yeah it's it's really just a matter. of you doing the leg work on% finding it. yeah and because it's always going to. appear like oh nobody's been in that. house for a while I wonder why it is and. then you're going to find out oh yeah. sometimes people's kids kill people and. they check out yeah it's easy to figure. out too and a lot of times I think look. go through Halloween see who doesn't. have a trick-or-treating thing set up.
that's a great point and that those are. the first people's houses to stop in at. and see what's going on and eventually. the government don't do it in my house. I'm just in Reno performing in a casino. I didn't kill anyone so I just want to. put that out there I have a nice home. don't come to my house cuz I am coming. back in two days I'm just I'm probably. in Boston or something just screaming at. drunks uh um you think it's okay for. people to get into more of the squatting. and the commandeering it goes back it's. a case by case because do you think so I.
think it's it goes back to the old times. where it's like when you showed up and. you took some land I feel like that's. the times we're getting back to and I. think it's okay well here's where people. can't afford rents how how else do you. expect people when one when one when. seven families or whatever own half the. city it's a great Point um I think the. problem becomes like when you are. squatting in House of like I don't know.
uh. somebody it might it might like somebody. who's disabled or something well no but. maybe what's going like it does I don't. know you're envisioning what you're. envisioning is like a f like a family. who's like down on their luck is like. we're going to squat in this house oh. I'm also envisioning a couple of rager. boys from freaking uh that's fine like. here's the deal I think what you're. going to get you're going to get a lot. of like you might get some you might get. some activity in that property that's. not great for the neighborhood oh I.
think that's what I want okay all right. sure as long as you know what's going to. go down as long as you know what's gonna. happen I want dude it's not going to be. like Christmas carols and you. know they're doing fake Hamas uh fake. fundraisers these people are doing Hamas. reenactments they've got like the. pictures of the hostages they're just. doing coke off them I mean the oh God. these are people these are the kind of. people we need I think people doing. puppet shows people doing um I do think. a.
little. candit something fun Renaissance Fair. Renaissance Fair stuff because so that's. my thing it's like if you are going to. squat make it an event that the. community can enjoy yeah to some degree. I agree there there should be a Punch. and Judy show for the kids you know. something fun do a petting zoo do. something small you know my godson is. Chinese they always take him to pettings. get a Persian guy to just get on his. knees and pet that dude for get a. Persian guy get that actor Deep Roy like.
any of those people like Elis yes make. it fun like I just I just don't want it. to be because the squatting might just. be its own way of like they might also. just start gatekeeping it from the. community if you're squatting in a big. mansion you got to let it be a community. center I just think it's yeah that's. true I agree yeah that's all I'm saying. I'm not saying don't squat I'm saying. like you said do once a month you do a.
play you do a play you do something you. do some Shakespeare you do Shakespeare. in the park you do Raisin in the Sun you. do a raising in the sun you do a version. of Raisin and everyone's GNA be hung. over and you go wake up today we're. doing Raisin in the Sun and people can. be on book they they don't have to. memorize their lines like there's going. to be people that are near overdose you. got to get them off the flooor hand them. a script and they got to stand out there. for the local children and do raising in.
son or Mr beler Mr badier they got to do. something you know death of a sales yeah. Death of a Salesman for. sure if you can't find one dream. catcher weaving. lesbian to play Willie. Lan you gota you got to get a. named Sky who's been on Molly just the. best Molly who's been to a lot of. Widespread Panic. shows to play Willie Lin so that at.
least because then the cops won't even. do anything because they're just gonna. go hey man they do plays for the. community and like you people write Yelp. reviews and stuff they go you know we. really thought it was just a bunch of. junkies partying but my kid went there. the other day and we saw a beautiful. production of Death of a Salesman. with like a shaman who was straight up. High waska play Willie lman and it was. brilliant yeah I think Bert what was the.
guy's name in that his son's name I. can't remember it I don't know it would. have been great to remember um but yeah. we saw uh oh Biff and har har yes Biff. and Harold you playing Biff like they're. yelling at a guy he's coming down the. stairs you're playing Biff today you're. doing Biff he's like all right he's just. like he's got the script he's like. shaking he's just going through the DTs. he's trying to he's just trying. to do it but that's my thing just make.
it a community center make it fun CU. here's what's going to happen too the. rich people of they're so rich now they. don't eventually they're going to stop. fighting you yeah they're not going to. go to they're GNA they're not even going. to fly back in it's going to look bad. for them to fight you it they're going. to start talking about it in Asen. they're going to start going we have one. of our homes yeah it's an aquarium now. one of our homes. is being used by people uh putting their. lives together and they're doing Death. of a Salesman and they will love saying. that you have to understand at a certain.
point you have to understand the value. of the media for yourself right it's all. advertising so you get people to say Hey. these rich people let these people. live um and that's all you need is two. or three people saying that just a. status symbol to go we have so many. homes we don't even care a few of them. we just have people squatting they do. petting zoo yeah few of our we got a. house in Belair it's a big petting zoo. right and it's run by this lesbian on. Molly and she just walks a bunch of kids. through once a month to a petting zoo. they goes we like to give back to the. community yeah they go we're not using.
it we just got to meet Hercule porro the. other day in character you know we just. met H they just did a Hester prin meet. and greet in the front yard yeah it was. brilliant so why you know they they they. go listen we're not going to get in the. way of that yeah they're doing 10 Little. Indians by at Christmas that's right we. can't stop this so if you walk in. if you walk in if the cops walk into a. squatter's house and there's just a. bunch of junkies riding on the floor. that's one thing but if they walk in and. those junkies start going God Rest Ye.
Mary gentle V. he his Christ Our Savior was born on the. cops start singing yeah the cops in no. like you know you just have to do that. and that's Miracle on 34th Street this. year exactly it's a community that's the. new Christmas movie that we pitch about. a bunch of junkie squatters who team up. with the rich landlords who are fleeing. the country cuz they've killed their. only fans girlfriends to make a.
beautiful Christmas pageant for the. community oh that's and it's so like the. whole pageant is so ridiculous and crazy. it's contrived and he's watching it from. Lebanon yeah it's got like moli Cen. battling the Ninja Turtles it's. amazing it's just pop culture references. and it's. absolutely. it's IG. doing playing Cindy. L it's out of control yeah but there's.
something beautiful about it something. beautiful about it what uh what other. news do we have going on Nick anything. else great. happening yeah John Stewart is returning. The Daily Show only on Mondays but and. also as an executive producer through. the election cycle wow they must have. backed up the money truck money truck. you think so or do you think cuz John. also seems like a right he seems like a. guy of character as well I think he. wants to do it you know yeah he wants to. have a.
voice it would be funny though if they. let him do it Mondays and then Trump did. it Tuesdays yeah you know what I mean. just to kind of they Paramount makes the. announcement to like John Stewart's. gonna do it Mondays Donald Trump will do. it Fridays yeah he will do The Daily. Show Friday and Whitney's doing it on. Wednesdays yeah then Whitney Whitney's. going to do it on Wednesday um her kid's. very cute is the kid cute cute kid yeah. I haven't seen the kid yeah I um he's. he's like um he's a beautiful uh child.
well she's. got yeah nice breast is it a boy or girl. the kid it's a boy with very nice breast. oh wow okay good yeah and that shouldn't. matter I'm just saying no it doesn't. matter at all I wouldn't be shocked if. the kid has great breasts one day yeah. the. boy um a that's amazing the child's. father emancipation papers you can see. him right there begging for a sip look. at that he's in that's Deep Roy isn't it. that's Deep Roy that's not a child.
that's Deep Roy and Roy's getting look. at her she's just. beyond this is a new head shot new head. shot way Deep Roy has pretended to be an. infant going to be a newspaper. article Wy comings baby was actually. Deep Roy I wouldn't be surprised there's. a lot of look things are getting so. tough out there Tim little people are.
going undercover they just had the. Russian girl F the family to to be able. to eat and and and survive so they're. just going to have to you know and. Whitney because Whitney is issy she's. busy that's the thing with Whitney great. mom and everything but she's busy she's. got a lot going on so she she might not. notice if her son is Deep Roy. she might not. notice she's got Dey oh you got a. young baby who's just in a Elvis.
outfit she might like how quickly he's. growing and like she might be like my. baby's so impressive he's speaking he's. speaking Hindu he's speaking Hindu he's. dressed like El yeah he's doing great. I've done a great. job yeah he's deep R he's doing. H and then like d going to say to her. they're going to go at what at what. moment at what moment did you realize. that your son was actually deep a.
squatter a squatter there was a squatter. in your home Deep Roy there's a squatter. in your jeans she's like it was one time. I was just looking at him at dinner I. was looking at him at dinner and he was. telling stories about Johnny. Depp from the Charlie the Chocolate. Factory movie and she goes I just looked. at him the I hit him a certain way I was. like are you. de unbelievable dude unreal unreal wow.
we'll have a blue dude but it's getting. so bad little people are squatting as. infants yeah to eat to survive that's. how bad it's people don't understand. when it goes from grapes to Grapes of. Wrath man people don't what it is. because there are a lot of little people. that can and should kind of try to pass. his children oh they bet they had a they. get in a car on the way to a Six Flags. try to get him like look be with the. family they had a guy in Indiana he uh. if you get a chance to looked at up he.
was like 31 and he had um primordial. dwarfism I think right he went back to. third grade right yeah went to third. grade was doing pretty good they said he. wasn't even doing that good in it right. and I'm my god well third grade's not. easy that's when they start bringing out. the big math textbooks that's a good. point yeah yeah oh uh six-year-old. orphan or con artist adult revisiting. the strange oh no this was net Natalia. Grace this was a male but that was the. Russian child um but they had a male who.
pretended. uh no I would say dwarf um. impersonates. child. Indiana it's very it's a very. interesting uh. move and to me it's like something and. other states but other states I feel. like it's totally appropriate you know. given the way things are um yeah oh but. I'm just not shocked that this is but.
this guy went back to school and they. one day the teacher saw him driving. somewhere driving to an Applebees or. something yeah and they they bust like. shouldn't you be doing your homew right. and then he was like no I'm actually but. it's a weird move to just wanna go to. school but I guess he was getting fed. and taken care of yeah I think there's a. lot of that well it's free then you're. on the government's time. that's right and you know what it's like. he's like let me try again yeah that's. yeah let me relive it yeah like. everybody wants to kind of relive it oh. I'd love to like to me it's like that's.
also heartwarming that little people can. can kind of relive it and I think if you. are a little person and you do feel. better around children you should be. able to go back to school I think if you. want to try it. again a lot of little people out there. that go I like all of us I want to run. it back what would you do if you ran it. back man oh God man so much would you do. something different really well were you. outgoing in high school yeah I was I was. outgoing I wouldn't have started cocaine. at 13 wow that's early that was early. really yeah was too much I did it for.
like till I was like in my early 20s and. then I cut it out but I I didn't do like. every day when I started to be like 13 I. was doing I was smoking weed you know I. was trying stuff like you try a couple. lines of blow and like you know like L. not great like it was not good LSD. started then I would have held off on. that you know and then I would have. tried to be if I could be any archetype. of person I want it to be like a real. hot dumb person if I could do it again I. would want to live in California and be. one of those people they're just really.
hot and all they do is surf all day yeah. and they're just they don't know any. like they don't know they're the people. that will believe the like they you come. to them and tell them anything they. believe it they're like oh wow they're. like what yeah they're the word they. always say is what what they go what. what what what but they have the best. life in my estimation so nice they just. sit on a beach eat burritos and they. just go swimming and then one day the. luckiest ones of them get eaten by a. shark the luckiest ones the ones that.
the gods Love Enough the ones that the. gods Love Enough are like you can just. we'll take you now yeah you know that. would be nice that'd be I guess that's a. romantic way to look at going back to. high school I think just being like yeah. all body just like you're sitting in. class and you're so good-looking people. don't even care if you're learning they. don't care if you're learning the. teachers are kind of afraid of you you. get a C+ just really really hot people. people just kind of let them do whatever. they want kind of let them do whatever.
they want if you're a really good-look. person you don't even have to squat you. can kind of just show up to someone's. house they'll let you in they'll be like. come on an bro Ian summerh holder went. to the high school I went to right he. was the best looking guy for I think he. won an award once he was like best. looking guy for like 700 miles or. whatever right and he was like as he. would come to the first day of school. right they would give him A's for the. and he would leave and he would leave. yeah he would not he would just they. gave him he would come there to.
literally get his report cards for the. year yeah and he would he just looked at. all the ladies just let them all know. that he exist that he loved them and. that was it and then he would. um he would go back home he just he. moved out of town he lives on a farm now. he's a he has a farm with his wife and. children for he moved out of Hollywood. anyway yeah um it's a good move. but God is growing up in the shadow of. such beauty for men and women women. would get their haircut to look like him. of course of course it was people didn't.
know what to do you had a lot of moms. and like stay-at-home moms and basically. just like people that didn't want to. work kind of and they would all try and. look like him or he had women dressing. like him wearing abian fit and the men's. stuff it was just yeah when somebody's. that good-looking you just people try to. be them without even knowing it yeah. yeah people were devastated if they. didn't know him or if they didn't know. somebody that knew him he was just that. handsome it's just yeah that power the. effects of somebody that could be that. good-looking on a community yeah of.
course cuz you're all just everybody. else is ugly everybody else is just in. comparison to him less yeah and they. feel. it. um what is. this Tech CEO dies after freak accident. on stage in front of crowd at company. party the company's president remains in. critical condition didn't they just say. he died said he died oh my god dude yo.
they don't get clickbait they just want. you in the the CEO died the president is. in critical condition okay they were. being lowered from a cage and the chains. broke and they fell 15 feet in front of. well that's one of those by the way no. one feels bad for them well well I mean. a lot of people in that company were. like dude come on they're lowering him. from the cage yeah what are like what. what is what are we doing here what do. you that's it's just like you're if you. want to be a l you we're you can't. pretend to be a God on Earth man right.
you got to stop a Chicago Area Tech CEO. died after falling onto a stage at a. packed company event in India last week. vistex CEO s sha 36 and Company. president Raju datla 52 we're marking. the company's Silver Jubilee celebration. what did it say it happened uh both men. were in inside a suspended cage when the. chain hold in the cage broke on one side. causing them both to fall onto the. stage at the time of the accident music.
was being played and sha and Raju were. waving to their staff while being. lowered wow what music would you want. being played while that happens you. think it's a great question um maybe ji. ho from Slum Dog Millionaire you know JY. ho yeah because he's kind of that fun. you know J nobody even believe you dead. they they having so much fun they would. that's the thing because it's like it. would be such a crazy environment J that. it would like even though you're dying. it's still it's still kind of you know J.
so that would be my personal choice I. love that dude tell me something boy I. think I would go with that that was that. certainly yeah bring it down yeah yeah. well I mean God bless you know it's sad. it's like oh it's St breaking I'm not. laughing at it you know we're not. laughing at it it's just it's one of. those things where it's like you're the. CEO right like do you need to be the. Bret heart of do you need to you know. that scene in the beginning of cats. where like all the or the end of cats.
were like the I don't know if you ever. saw the show cats but like they go up on. this little like UFO there's like a. bunch of cats oh do they really at the. end yeah it's like a garbage can lid. there's just a bunch of cats and like. you know they just rise because they're. going to heaven the cats at the end and. uh debatable yeah and for sure but that. you don't need that level of the. Patricks when you're the CEO you don't. need that you shouldn't be up there put. the secretary should be up there yeah. it's like you just you're a CEO you just. these people some want to kill you hire.
some squatters hire a coup squ that's. when you bring out that's when you go. thank you for coming now Iggy aelia. ladies and gentlemen let Iggy aelia fall. through the cage and die in front of. your company do not die in front of your. there's no reason for it and if it's. Tech you're supposed to be Tech you're. supposed to be technologically advanced. you can't even put a cage on a. like what are you doing cuz that's not. what they do they do like that new age.
you should be a hologram yeah you. shouldn't be trying to do wringling. Brothers in barn Bailey Circus well you. like ride out on an elephant they were. probably like it's India like we're. going to get wild lower. cage yeah that would have been a great. idea do you do anything exorbitant like. that do you do anything you ever do any. fancy stuff Tim like on stage not really. I just kind of walk out and or just like. parties and stuff I've heard you throw. some pretty wild parties I've actually. heard what I I heard have like a yeah I.
heard this I heard like a crazy thing. about parties that you throw we had a. Caitlin Jenner one did you yeah the. invited me to one of them I invited you. to all of them you're not around Caitlyn. Jenner came which was fun no way she. came she came with her girlfriend who's. a trans Maga influencer and they were. they came and they were great because. you're going around the parties talk. about how Donald need we we need Donald. Trump and and it was La so there were. people that were just but you can't say. to Caitlyn because Caitlyn's like. 68 Caitlyn's a tough tough woman she'll.
break your head wow if she wants to is. she pretty cool she's cool wow she's. like picture this I know this is going. to blow everybody's mind okay it's going. to blow your mind right now oh my mind's. easily blown here's what I'll say about. okay her it's almost like she's a Dad. wow you know what I mean oh yeah like. Danny mindblowing it's almost like I can. almost imagine her as like a dad it like. has like some dad energy mhm it's weird. when you meet a mom who like has The.
Vibes of like a dad like one of my aunts. because she drank with the uncles and. never went to sleep yeah they just. called her Charlie oh yeah even though. that wasn't her name it was Susan but. her nickname was Charlie they go get. Charlie because she would drink every. night till she fell down with the men MH. Caitlyn has that Vibe of like just a a. dad energy a yeah and I love I love her. and I I support her and I support she. was showing people pictures of her plane.
and she's just trying to live her life. that's the thing she's just trying to. live her life and yeah I would love to. meet her she seems like a cool lady. support Trump from her plane and I. respect all of it that's her girlfriend. that's her girlfriend wow beautiful and. it's it's uh you know it's a it's a it's. a it was a it was a it was a friends. giving I had MH and uh did Spade come. too Spade came he didn't tell me see. Spade's on a lot of these lists you know. people always say he's on that oh that's. her plane right there that's her plane. so she's a pilot she's a.
pilot wow that's wild I would so I like. interesting people and this is a this to. me like a like a trans Trump supporting. Olympian pilot I love that is a that's a. thing that's like Tiger King it's like. our Tiger King that's without ex. question yeah she is our Tiger King and. she's free she's already free you know I. she's ready for it dude but imagine.
being first of all so good at being a. man you're like it I'm I'm so I. already did so well I'm going to be a. woman as well I'm gonna go do this and. I'm gonna be great at that and get that. can you get that photo up of Caitlyn and. Trump again because that. explains her energy but it explains our. time maybe more than any other photo. yeah that is Caitlyn. Jenner and Donald Trump engaged in what. can only be called like a historic kind.
of like there's something clasp of power. there's something in the orange bro I. mean that that's what Lord of the Rings. should have been should have that's. that's the ring of power she's giving. him the ring of power there you go right. there the Epic there it is that's what I. mean the epic handshake that's what it. is we need more blacks that's what we. need. yes just overall you agree I I. absolutely agree that's something that's. got to happen but and I think Trump.
would do that if he's in office I dude. but that's so wild to be. um to be yeah I guess he just did so. well at being a a man he's like I want. to be a woman and now she's an amazing. woman and she's killing it as woman a. beautiful girlfriend and has a beautiful. girlfriend and is killing and the. girlfriend is a. trans besti trans uh the the girlfriend. is a is a is a a trans Trump okay like.
she supports Trump heavily and she's. trans for Trump got it have you been to. the was on Shane gillis's podcast and. and Matt mccusker how funny are those. guys the best absolute best and they. said they made a good point we were. talking about this and it's like That's. How Strong Maga is you're just you. you'll get it's like Co like Matt was. like it's like Co you're gonna get it. you can you can you could even the trans. people will get it you can dye your hair. blue you can go out in the street and. stomp around eventually one day you're. just going to get it you'll be sitting.
in a McDonald's you'll feel scratchiness. in your throat and the next day you'll. wake up and you go immigration is a. problem yeah did I just see David Spade. yesterday yeah and was David Spade. fighting a homeless guy for a hash. brown uh you got to go to the UF do you. like going or you don't like I'll go. I'll go I'll go I've never gone but I'd. love to go I see all you guys go I'll go. I think you would just yeah I mean I. would like I like the spectacle of it.
yeah the I dig it I don't know a huge. amount about the sport but I'm I for. sure you would have so much stuff to. talk about I'd have a great time cuz you. just have like there's just like you get. to meet so many different people and the. none of the representatives are there. who ruin everything like just regular. people it's just cool people yeah yeah. for sure oh there's one I forgot about. that that's one that yeah you're there. that Spade took me too that was fun it's. just been so fun to get to be around. some of those univers it's so fun it's. like not even it's crazy how fun you.
guys seem to have the it's just been fun. I think that's one of the beautiful the. cool side effects of also that Joe Rogan. had on the comedy community was he. brought both of those worlds together I. mean he brought Joe brought all of these. different worlds together Science. Fitness Nutrition you know history uh. fighting MMA all that stuff comedy like. he really married all these different. worlds yeah people a lot of times would. be like yeah like Shane and I were just. talking the other day Shane Gillis was. and I were saying about yeah people were.
like if he moved to Austin was he just. moving into Rogan's universe or whatever. but Ro I just think people talk about it. a lot like people say oh you're sucking. Rogan's dick whatever but he's just one. of the most cre he's one of the most. he's there's nobody like him no yeah I. and I don't think I think I think it's a. you know like it's one of the greatest. clubs in the history of Comedy bro I had. some of my best set there wouldn't any. you know what I mean like I go down.
there when I can like it makes so much. sense to be there we did a show as me. Shane. Joe uh and Ron White was down there. Brian Simpson and we did a show for like. law. enforcement cops that came it was just. and we're making fun of them they loved. it like it was just one of the most fun. nights of Comedy that you can have yeah. yeah and they protect the phones there's. no phone so people can't just put stuff. up and stuff like that it's just run. perfectly people can't take the phones. out and start around yeah adamy.
gets down there he does a great job you. can't Deep Roy can't sneak in like you. can't turn around you like his Deep Roy. out of nowhere I have a squatter in my. womb I can't believe Whitney had a. squatter in her it's crazy that Deep Roy. fooled her for a year a solid. year even though she saw him on his cell. phone talking to other people in the. backyard she's like I guess this is my. six-year-old infant my six day old. infant it's deep Ro you're like I'm. having a kind of a busy flow this month.
it's cour esque even that had to be. shocking when you have C Miss Cummings. at what point did you realize your. newborn son was Deep Roy she's like when. he pronounced my last name as humans I. think that's probably when dude when. they had tandori in my Underpants you. didn't think it was strange that your. four-month-old son was walking around. the house on the phone with his.
agent then occasionally he would wear a. turban this was strange you didn't find. it strange that he first learned to walk. on hot. Cal you didn't think it was odd that he. had a pet. tiger this was odd to. you um what else did we have anything. else yeah what did I oh what was that. yeah I can't believe that they said that. about oh when Cat Williams what did you. think about the Cat Williams Fiasco I. didn't see the interview I read it cuz I. was on a plane I read it I was I read.
the transcript cuz I couldn't you can't. get service on a plane just land and. watch it no I just everyone was talking. about I was read the transcript like it. was a court like it was a court case. he's the funniest guy to me like I his. specials when I was growing up watching. them oh yeah me my friends would watch. them and cry laughing like he's the. funniest guy did you ever have you ever. met him never met him wow but like to me. like his specials when I watch his. specials uh it's the best thing ever. Club sh Shake Shannon Sharp's like the. jacked Wendy Williams now I feel like.
for sure no doubt right where is Wendy. will like we don't even know well that's. another people a lot of the black. community has said that she's been kind. of um what's it called when you're. command deer taking over whatever it's I. don't know she's compromised uh. compromised yeah like she's a uh plant. who plant. I don't know right that's the thing well. that well that's one one thing cat. brought into to conversation was that a. lot of folk there's black there's plants.
in the black community interesting that. black people feel that way interesting. and uh I thought that was interesting. and how he said Rogan had unfunny Comics. member do you see that yes I saw that. yeah I don't think that I wouldn't take. that I think Rogan he's had so many. Comics that have been around him he's. had so many Comics that I feel like you. know I don't know I think he probably. wasn't talking about us maybe or he. could have been or he could have been. and if he it's nice to who it would have. been you it's nice to think about that.
he wasn't talking about us yeah that's. nice you're right what ego no it's just. nice to imagine he was talking about. someone else the best cuz all of us when. we heard that were like I'm sure he. means someone else our friends our other. friends immediately as soon as that. happened we all went yeah he probably. means someone else he's talking about. about us what I don't I don't know but. it's we don't know yeah I mean all like. could be anybody and also if you have so. many Comics comeing over a show over the. years and comic comedy is.
so what's it called when you everybody. has something subjective yeah yeah yeah. it's like there's all so many types I'll. watch and I'll watch a guy one night and. I'll be like I didn't love it and I'll. watch him another night and be like that. was the best thing I've ever seen it. goes both ways you can hate someone and. love them and then love them and hate. them or hate them because you love them. or love them because you hate them MH. there's like a weird cringe there's. these on Tik Tok who review. restaurants in New York City and they. have the most annoying voice oh it's the.
worst and they go and then they're. they're like this steak go cry. about it and or they'll be like this. pasta was rubbery and overrated go cry. about it I hate them but I can't stop. watching you understand it's like you. just can't stop watching their things. because they're it's just such an. annoying pitch of voice yeah and I. imagine them every time they review. something like every time they're like. this Ramen like I IM my pussy's. horrible right I imagine him getting.
thrown out of a w like a window on. Central Park West and just getting. impaled on the thing so but but I still. watch so oh yeah I don't know I you know. maybe he was talking about others did. you ever. um yeah it's just interesting to think. about yeah did you ever have parties. what was what I heard like this crazy. rum that you would have parties where. guys would have to bring a cake or like. a nice dessert to the party is that a. Tru no we never had. that I just heard that no never that's.
great I was kind of jealous of that's. just kind of a hilarious every party. I've ever had I have like have it. catered oh yeah yeah yeah yeah cuz I. would love that I would never trust the. people that we know to bring anything of. value to my house why would I trust so. that Burke rer could bring an alcohol. cake it's like a he just brings a. colostomy bag of like yeah that's. completely insane that's a great idea if. I had a different circle of friends it'd.
be a great idea everyone show up with. like a little dessert it'd be cool but. it would be fun like I I like that. that's a rumor and I want it to keep. going because I I'd like the rumor to be. like Tim Dylan sits on like a throne and. you have to go in and feed him like and. Deep Roy is next to me and you have to. give the dessert to Deep Roy you can't. look me in the eye Deep Roy has to deal. with me he runs it up to your mouth so. deep Roy just feeds it to me and then I. go yes or no and if I say no you have to. leave you have to take your your. whatever your beignet and leave if I.
don't like. it and if and if you don't like it they. take whatever dessert you brought and. put it on a really heavy tray carry. carry it yeah heavy tray on the way out. and then Caitlyn Jenner comes in and. she's like you want something baby and. then she just brings in and then she. just puts in it entire wedding cake you. know love that I got to meet Mel Gibson. the other night how was he man he's a it. was really interesting it was at the. Bobby Bobby Kennedy had a birthday right. that I went to so I went to his birthday.
and I got to uh talk with m g for a. while I met him at a UFC fight that was. that's just one of the things that's. crazy just meet the yeah just meet. people people you'd never think to meet. and then um but yeah it was just. fascinating I mean the Patriots one of. my favorite movies ever it's a great. movie so that was just yeah it was just. fascinating uh he's an interesting guy. he was cool he had some funny stories. and I like the Bobby Kennedy's like just. open to having different people there oh. yeah it was there was all types of. interesting folks over there you but. that was kind of fascinating John. Stockton was there the basketball player.
do you remember him I remember I don't. remember Utah Jazz yeah of course yeah. he was like uh and these people are. alers they hanging out with Bobby. Kennedy just in support yeah friends of. him wow John you know the NBA logo was. designed after him wasn't it no yeah. Jerry West Jerry West so I think that's. what's cool about Robert Kennedy it's. just he's got like an. open like you might turn around with him. and like Siran sir hands there the guy. who like killed his dad yeah and Bobby.
you know Robert kenned is just like. listen what do we you know what I mean. he's willing to We're not gonna hold. grudges yeah he's willing to support the. super Pat he understands the vax Is Not. Great like that's would be great you. just turn around and you're like. Cheryl's like sir hands here and you. know it's strange for Bobby but Siran is. the big supporter of Bobby because he's. really sir Han's really concerned with. black rock buying up all the houses so.
we leave the past in the past and Siran. s get up here you big nut so that's what. I would love to see you big. nut dude that's what I would love to see. just Cheryl and Bobby in a full-on. Embrace sir hands sir hands in the. middle of both of them and suran's got a. Kennedy for president shirt with Mel. Gibson and she's like he canvases for. Bobby he calls people hi this is Siran. Siran yes the one the same one and I.
support Robert F Kennedy Jr because I. think the medical industrial complex. should be transparent and then like. somebody on the other end of the phone. South Carolina is like what the. hell is going on in this country and. then somebody would literally say they'd. be like I wasn't sure about Siran I. wasn't sure about Bobby Kennedy but. Siran Siran knocked on my door the other. day and if he supports if he supports. him he really convinced me that this is. the way to go this is the right way to.
go. here yeah dude bro you're so funny man. God that's I haven't laughed this much I. don't think we have a great time it's a. great podcast in my whole life dude um. well that might be an overstatement but. this is fun well if we had Deep Roy to. come in and finish it out like Whitney. and Deep Roy to come in here she would. do it we could text her she'd leave her. baby in her house like we got a great. bin you just We Got Deep Roy well her. baby's also Charming a snake so the baby.
is gonna be fine the baby's fine yeah. the baby is yeah the baby's gonna be. fine um but yeah I just wonder do you. think there's any way that Bobby Kennedy. could win well Trump could go Trump. could go get arrested I don't think. it'll happen I think a lot of char. charges are really trumped up they're. all. he infl the ofet he bought in the. ridiculous like he said it was marble. it's actually Granite it's like guys. remember you told us that he was like.
the Russian president and they couldn't. prove any of that and now they're like. he said it was quartsite it's just. quarts that's a man-made Stone you're. like guys you went left on this just. didn't really just didn't work out I. wish you would have started that I I. would believe that he. that he that he uh shs at a couple of uh. Construction Company. countertops 100% yeah but he he he could.
have some complications with that but. bid could pass away Biden has pass away. Biden they we know what they're going to. try to do to him they're oh they're. gonna have him japed up they're gonna. have a uh fizer is going to get. involved they're going to get involved. and so you you have this interesting. scenario where you have one candidate. who's maybe in jail and the other. candidate is on like an experimental new. cocktail of. drugs no we don't know the side effect.
we have no idea what's about happen. could be roller skating racism could. levitate Che on your Tong we don't know. what's gonna happen we don't know what. and they The Scientist by the way make. no mistake scientists at fisa right now. are sitting there with members of the. Biden campaign and going we here's the. bad news we don't know what happens yeah. after we know it gives him energy we. know it makes him clear-headed we know. it gives him the ability to speak what. can his valves handle asking what PSI. what PSI can his aortas handle right now.
we don't know what else happen so you. know we don't have an option we're just. shooting them up with this putting them. on stage do they have to debate each. other does that have to happen I imagine. that it will and they you know when it. terms how you got to somebody smarter. than me would know mhm. it's happened every single election it'. be weird if it didn't happen be very. weird wow it would be very weird and. what and but anyone could throw their. hat in at the last minute oh yeah like.
Bloomberg tried to do remember that. little Mau anyone could come in and just. it's yours now I mean somebody could try. Bloomberg got. shellacked gav might try even though. he's hatting he's like on a Vineyard. he's he's on a Vineyard. somewhere just W drunk telling people. he's the president just watching home. cameras making sure there's no squaders. heading Michelle Obama could get. involved I don't think she would win. though she I. think had uh some heat but it's kind of. like died down well if Trump say if if.
Trump went to a jail or something. happened they made it so he couldn't run. and if Biden is too old to run Kennedy. if he could get in could actually. win that's the part dude a th%. but you know because I would just love. to see somebody get in who. thinks hates all these monopolies and. all of that kind of stuff like dude. everything's starting to be the same. like I live in Nashville and like the. main they had this quaint Street there. called 12 South right it was cute nice. fun you go take a date there you go on a.
walk all the shops were like localized. for the most part and now they've just. they've taken that and they're putting. in like a Rag and Bone it's just it's. horrible bro it's all the same. Corporation and it's all the same if. York City they have Capital One cafes. wow they're just let they have people. come to the bank they're not even. pretending anymore just want to have a. latte in the bank yeah they go get a. latte and sit down we talk about what. you. owe let's talk about how how in trouble. you are come get a lot yeah you know. what that conversation is that woman's.
telling her go we're going to shut it. off we'll shut it off yeah we shut the. lights off yeah you have a young you. have a young mixed lady who's applying. for a probably once to open up a diping. dots or something at the mall with h. somebody probably went in there and was. like I want a small business loan yeah. and and then the older woman goes let me. tell you something right now look at me. this coffee is the last thing you're. going to buy we're shutting it off we're. shutting it down that's why they have. Capital One Cafe so that you could come.
in there and drink coffee and be told. you're done yeah like hey they're taking. you out have a free coffee W every. consultation is like this guy telling. her he goes I know it's all fun in games. now but what's going to happen is we're. going to raise the rates on all your. cards your payments are going to go up. and we're going to begin to start. putting leans and judgments on you on. your family on your family you won't be. able to get a job yeah yeah youon we're. going to repossess your uncle. and then they give you like they take. one of like the the like the the pliers.
little tweezers they just give you a. little scone put Stone on the plate they. just there you go you're done they just. look at you they go you're done they go. see this she goes see this that's all. the mortgage payments that were frozen. for you during Co watch what I do to. them to my computer Watch How I make. them triple and this couple has no idea. what's about to happen she goes you see. that we froze your mortgage that's 18. payments that's 18 payments that you owe. now we're going to add on the back.
interest now watch what you owe for $300. though if we if you let us live stream. while you realize that your mortgage. payments are going to be that it's all. Frozen yeah if you let us live stream. that we'll take. $300 off of the cost of your mortg I. mean this guy's like he's like so here's. where you went into the hospital for the. seizure that's. $52,000 you see now because you put that. on a credit card you were not in what's. called medical debt you were in debt to.
us and we will take it all what about. this Chuck Schumer guy dude I keep. everybody I hear about he just like has. like the whole Democratic party like. he's just a a Wall Street guy but it's. like healthare he just has it all. well Chuck Schumer is one of. those guys who like it's sick he's like. the jepetto of dirty Healthcare yeah cuz. he's a you know he's like beholden to. Wall Street and the big companies it's. just sick man they're all old dude all. these Boomers need to step aside our.
country is being run by like 80-year-old. Boomers well there's no way it just. everything this guy's doing it just. seems like it's all crime it's all crime. that's what I feel like it's all crime. we're being it's all Batman villains yes. it's all Batman villains it's like Dick. Tracy villain remember that like the pr. yeah lips lips manless yeah and the. prune yeah it's like that's who this is. the prune there's eyebrows Harper right. there yeah and they're like out here. telling us can we watch whatever he's.
saying this woman has a crazy jaw this. is about uh Chuck Schumer he's like. she's got like a Matt rif jaw yeah she. looks like this woman is carved um she. looks like uh Schwarzenegger's ex-wife. Shriver maybe yeah Maria Shriver she. does have a little bit that she's got a. very strong drw the nicotine pouches. pose a danger to teens as they use them. as an alternative to ecigarettes pouch. packed with problems high levels of.
nicotine so today I'm delivering a. warning to parents this now he's. selling you know he's selling. young right after this press conference. he's got a garbage bag full of Vapes. yeah and he takes them out back and just. sells them to kids oh yeah he there's no. by the way he get like The Vape people. will call him and donate a lot of money. to him and like the next week he'll be. out there he'll be like you know kids. are very stressed out yeah and is it the. worst thing in the world that they go.
out and take a puff couple puffs off a. pineapple father they have the saddest. names yeah right because this the worst. thing in the world to relieve a little. stress yeah watermelon hope you didn't. get ass to your eighth grade dance yeah. you want to go out there and just blow a. little air you want to suck a little. cranberry prom get a little Peach. Peach. smoke oh this guy is uh well this tic. this right here this is about the um are. they saying they're outlawing zins where. at in New York Nick yeah they want uh. the FDA to look into it um saying.
they're trying to sell the children dude. this guy this guy there's no. nothing about this guy to me seems. trustworthy at all he's not he doesn't. care he does you're right he's selling. something on the back end he has some. back deal he's like there people are. coming to him going like this stuff's. up our stuff he's like okay he. doesn't care Chuck Schumer doesn't care. if kids are addicted to drugs no he does. not care at all nope it's just I mean. but he's the one I think that has a lot.
to do with the monopolizing of the uh. Insurance that's the thing man he's just. basically like hey I'm here to tell you. that I'm for people and he's been in. there forever you're not supposed to be. there forever soty that guy's been in. there forever do you know how dirty you. have to be to be in there forever ever. he's forever in there yeah get him out. man that's the number one rule uh Wall. Street money Reigns on Schumer yeah 11. million on the Senate since the. beginning of the year and this 2009 this.
guy's been doing this forever wow I'm. imagine how much money this dirt. ball is guy has been doing this. forever if you have anything to do with. this dude to me feels like bad. news bro and you know his his niece is. AED is she really Ali Wong oh I didn't. even know that and she's in beef. too I'm obviously joke it's not Ali Wong. it's the one with the same name yeah. yeah but it's not her fault no it's no.
one's fault well what he's doing is his. fault it's his fault but um if he gave a. about health unless she's selling. Vapes right be crazy. right if she's in the Zin business. women's Li puffers she's like selling. Zin. V to women who've been like victims of. sexual assault she like they should have. the right to Puff they should have the. right to Zin Puff the pain away yeah. healthy sex is the flavor of it yeah.
healthy sex kiwi um but no dude if that. guy thinks he's going to take zins away. bro he's out of his bro dude that's not. the big imagine looking at the world and. going the biggest problem is zins yeah. do you know how crazy you have to be. like it's like Gavin Newsome like they. were trying to ban I forget what they. were trying to ban. but they were all going nuts about. something in California I'm like there's. there's there's people like straight up. on a 101 running across it with their. dog in their hands yeah yeah here we go.
they're banning these food chemicals. which is good that's all nice right. California governor Gavin Newsome has. signed a lion Mark law aimed at Banning. red die number three and other. potentially harmful food additives and. consumer goods it's like okay that's. great but also like how about we address. some of the other issues. right like yeah like the fact that some. homeless people I've said this before. stole a bunch. of um High School band equipment right. and they live in the park they live in.
the park near me and the problem is. they're not even good they're not good. at all but hey the problem the. unfortunate thing for the area is that. they practice at around 2:40 in the. morning and I respect the the wanting to. get good oh look I get it cuz we all we. all did that when we were starting you. got to get the. but the problem is they're not together. cuz sometimes people will even hear it. it's like there's a there's you need a. conductor that's where you they don't. have isue they do not their conductor is. not focused they have three drums and a.
second chair clarinet or flst a lot of. them have a problem with authority oh D. the middle of the night you'll just hear. there it's like uh it's like Benny and. the Jets or it's like uh it's that uh. Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna be. like and sometimes sometimes you hear a. little bit of it and it is impressive. like you hear the beginning of it and. you go oh they finally got it and then. by the middle of Love the Way You Lie. it's everyone's doing something. different because the conductor is just.
not focused yeah the conductor we need. more uppers for these conductors that. are living in our part keep time keep. time andone is stand there and watch me. yeah yeah that's what it has to be what. was that article about was that it oh. but you're gonna have a better if you. want to take Zen away from you're taking. Zen the last thing that's. keeping people going to college people. need to choose something at this point.
in their lives we have adult males that. whose wives have left them they have Zen. body pillows right that's all they can. do yeah you can't you will never take. our Zen that guy dude you have better. luck taking guns from people than zins. right Zin people need it in fact I think. I would load a gun with zins right yeah. yeah yeah walk into a Capa Sig house and. just fired into the jaws of everybody in. there I'm 1,000% with you you cannot. take the the last thing that. they have no you can't you know it's.
just all dirty Healthcare I wonder how. though that's what I don't know they. Feed Us Poison so we buy their. cures I don't know what the bottom. says but it says Siran Siran supports. RFK what it's been it's been quite a. time Tim Dylan um I want to come on your. show man please next week anytime you. want let me know you you you said I come. in two weeks that's great febru like. second week of February whenever you.
want to do it we'll do it okay yeah we. have a studio in LA and New York so. whichever one you want to do what ever. easier La it's great um thank you for. having me I always have so much fun with. you dude thanks so much man yeah dude we. it's it's a lot of fun this a blast. ladies and gentlemen Tim Dylan thanks. Tim thank you folks now I'm just. floating on the bre and I feel I'm. falling like these leaves I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of my I.
found I can feel it in my. [Music]. bones.
