The Champ is Here | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #190

today's episode is brought to you by. gray block pizza gray block pizza and. bronx-born pizza in Bend Oregon gray. block pizza in Los Angeles get that. hitter Wow. and I hope your weekend was good all. right let's go. [Music]. [Music]. [Applause].

[Music]. [Music]. [Music].

[Music]. it was me and that is um an artist named. Jameson flood and that's a man not a. natural disaster and he sent in that. song called every night and we're happy. to play that at the beginning they're. welcome to this past weekend I'm excited.

to be here. premature Nick our producer is going to. be in studio with us in a second but. first look I'm amped I am still hiked up. I got to go to Aerosmith this past. weekend I got to go to the UFC fights. dude I hadn't been to a fight you know. since I've seen a couple honestly couple. sisters beating up my buddy that would. had a couple milkshakes in his hand. outside of us since an incense and a tea.

but uh but I got to go to the UFC fight. just and I'm not trying to brag but just. a crazy weekend and I want to play this. clip right now cuz we're gonna we're. gonna actually call an interview we're. gonna call an interview of the champ. we're gonna call an interview the champ. ha Dustin Poirier here momentarily but I. want to play a clip really quick from a. previous episode when he came in episode. 142 Dustin Poirier right here you just. want to win the belt yeah I just want to. win the belt man that's all I want I. just want to be the world champion and.

then I'll go back to delivering windows. so is that is that really that goal I. mean is that so that's the thing that's. the you just want to be the best yeah of. course I would I would love to stay in. the sport for a long time and make my. shitload of money but I just want to say. that I did it I want to have the UFC. championship around my waist you know. all these years with my wife. struggling and and taking food out of. the out of the grocery basket because we. couldn't afford it and making ends meet. and and you know sacrificing a lot I. just want to say it was all worth it.

because once you become the world. champion you know that's forever yeah. and you know that's that's what I'm. trying to do honestly Dan that's. powerful man it's really really cool. it's so inspirational very powerful it. was just a powerful night to be there it. was just so inspirational you know. Dustin Poirier is a. nobody's taking I don't think a harder. road to get to a title in the UFC and I. don't know a lot about UFC but I think. we can all relate to adversity and we.

and I am constantly inspired by. perseverance and I and just this man. just has it he has it and I was. fortunate to be able to be there there. were so many people that got to witness. in and I want to get him on the line. right now. let's call Dustin Poirier the new. 155-pound the champ they can never take. it away from him for the rest of his. life they can never take it away let's.

call him up right now go looking for the. champ champ here champs here what's up. brother how are you good man how about. you I'm doing good man congratulations. thank you bro thank you so much how you.

feeling today well bust it up you know. what uh feeling good yeah oh yeah man. here's a bunch of bumps and bruises when. you fight like that for 25 minutes with. these caliber of guys you got hit in. spots you didn't even know you got hit. in Europe yeah I guess it doesn't really. feel like a massage does it how are you. celebrating man dude I'm not really.

doing a whole lot honestly I uh took my. daughter to the zoo today that's about. it really. yeah does she know that uh does she know. that that uh is a champion yeah I do she. knows man and it makes me feel so good. that's awesome yeah like she calls the. belt the belt you know she said that. daddy so every time she walks by she. points with his daddy's belly's so. pretty if she likes it she loves they.

feel so good Batman. now do you find yourself recovering or. do you find yourself like thinking about. training like what kind of like what's. going on like in is sort of in your head. a little in that stuff right now like. I'm just kind of seeing what uh pains. gonna stay longer than a few days what. what what's not and uh you know get what. what's not going to go away in a few. days I'll get a checked out by doctor. get some MRIs done but I feel pretty. pretty healthy and then I kind of the. good thing about this fight is I know my.

next step for the most of my career I. didn't know the next step after fights. now we know we're gonna fight could be. to unify the bells oh and he suspended. until September I believe so I know I'm. probably not going to fight until. September so that gives me like a little. peace of mind that a fights not gonna. pop up on me I can kind of start. planning accordingly to that timeline. yeah now do you would that happen in. September or do you it could happen. after that do you have a say-so in that. how does that kind of work no I believe.

it's meat you know a khabees the. undisputed champ so him in the UFC I. guess are going to figure it out but his. suspension ends I believe in September. so that doesn't mean he can't start a. training camp before then you know he. can be ready to go as soon as the date. of suspension ends so and that's what. I've heard floating around that. September is the date they're gonna plan. the next fight wow wow man um are you. worried about like I know a lot of these. fighters or it seems like I'm learning. anyway that a lot of a lot of the.

fighters like as they you know once you. become a champion once you get a belt. that a lot of the media obligations. become more pertinent especially and. more just you have a lot more. obligations to the media around fight. time and that it can drain a lot of. Fighters do you worry about any of that. I don't really like think about it that. much that can worry about it but now. that you're mentioning a bro this last. fight that lead-up to this last fight I. mean I was non-stop interviews non-stop.

going to different places on fight week. which I usually don't know that's new to. me every now and then on a fight we got. go to like a radio station here and. there but this time my whole itinerary. was just full of interviews and places. to be it made the week fly by really but. it is a. distraction and a little bit of stress. yeah did um you you said in an interview. Dustin man that just one of the neatest. things I've ever heard and you said 25. minutes to make life fair can you tell. me a little bit about that yeah brother.

uh Teddy yeah I was listening to a. podcast when a Teddy Atlas podcast don't. know if you know Teddy Atlas is he's a. legendary boxing trainer been around a. long time was one of the first guys to. train Mike Tyson Oh. under custom motto just a very very. interesting mind in combat sports when I. was two the guy talked like you know you. just very well spoken about about. feelings and things that fighters go. through and stuff but on this podcast he. was talking about no other time in life. or in history that you have an.

opportunity to raise your arms up in the. air and because the best in the world. the champion of the world no matter what. it's except in fighting you know and and. that's what I was looking at coming into. this fight is 25 minutes no matter I. said I've lost in the past. what the oddsmakers say people who told. me I'm not good enough oh you know just. every time I've slipped and fell or. every critic out there every opinion out. there I had 25 minutes to mute that out. yeah and and and in my own hands I had.

controlled my destiny and I knew I had. it for 25 minutes and I was very. powerful going into that fight just. knowing that and I wanted to leave all. of myself out there give it my all and. whatever was going to happen was going. to happen but I walked into the cage. that night. comfortable knowing that I was prepared. to do everything that I had physically. you know everything possible of myself I. was willing to do it whatever it took to. win that belt and make life fair for 25. minutes man Wow.

you mean you hit the ring you were just. you were feeling good that James Brown. hit the scene man it was uh God that was. live man when now when you're backstage. the fight before you guys was Jesus. Christ man were you watching that I was. also there stairs in the locker room. where you warm up there's a big mat you. know to warm up on himself and there's a. TV there streaming the fights live so. you kind of know where you're at you. know I know how was the main event so. the co-main is going I can. right when it ends I know I have about.

five or six minutes where they come get. me and say okay you're good you're. walking now so I was kind of keeping an. eye on it but I didn't get to see every. round you know I was warming up and kind. of just glancing at it so I need to go. back and watch it I haven't yet man it. was powerful I mean it was just at that. point yeah we're just like I'm sitting. there in the stands like Jesus I can't. imagine that there's gonna be more. fighting like it was just those guys had. murdered each other dude I mean. interview you how was your first trip to. a fight oh it was scary man I was.

swinging my own almost not my date out. one time so that was kind of alarming. how what meant it was uh it gave me a. whole different respect for for uh for. fighters like even just a minute ago. when you said that they come and walk. you from the back out there five minutes. up that to me feels like an electric. chair like they would be walking me like. dead man walking you know like to the. last moment to be honest with you and.

you know fighting everybody thinks guys. are tough guys you know I'm a bad dude. for sure I can fight I'm one of the best. in the world and I know like what I'm. capable of but I'm not immune to those. feelings I'm scared to death back there. even though I'm so prepared and and you. know put in so many years and months. into this single training camp like this. one guy well there's still the other. unknown out there I don't. anything could happen I know I'm human. if I make a mistake and get kneed in the. face I know I'll get knocked out right.

so you know we're in a weird way as they. come get you and say alright Dustin. you're walking it's almost you feel like. you're being led I don't want to say. it's a slaughter but you're being led to. a crowd full of people and you're about. to step in the in the you know in an. arena and frickin you know it feels like. you're going out there to fight to the. death. that's what it feels like to me Wow does. it um is there uh can you feel the crowd. when you're out there or is are you just.

so you guys are just so zoned in to what. you're doing. you know earlier in my career I could uh. everything was muted out it was just how. so much adrenaline pounding that I could. only just react and do what I was doing. but now as I've got so many fights under. my belt I can hear everything then yeah. yeah it's so interesting man it's like. if it's like it's like Christmas but. Santa's like trying to beat the [ __ ] out. of you you know that's what it kind of. was like the vibe that it kind of seemed.

from me like if I was a I can only. imagine if I was in your shoes it would. be like so exciting because you're ready. it's there you've been waiting for it. but then you gotta like you know Santa's. not bringing gifts dude he's bringing an. ass-whuppin you know right right [ __ ]. man it is kinda like that you're so. excited you're like anxious to perform. you've been working you want everybody. to see what level you're capable of. fighting at you want to show everything. you're you know yeah I've been working. on but at the same time it's still like.

oh my god we're doing this and we're. fighting anything could happen. but that's like when you're when you're. a young fighter you don't think about. those things I think those are things. that come along with time and maturity. in the sport like when I was young I. never thought about that. you know the possibility of getting. kidney to the elbow and split in the. face or knocked out I didn't think about. those things I was just going out there. to fight but as you get older you're. like okay you know you've seen some. things and been some places you like. this a dangerous man right this is. dangerous. now a lot of these guys so you know that.

you're gonna have this next fight. against khabib it's not for certain yet. but it's close yeah man you know. nothing's for certain mixed martial arts. nothing surprises me anymore I don't. know but I don't know what's gonna. happen but the the plan is to unify the. both Dana told me that Dana's publicly. said it and you know that's what I think. should happen yeah yeah do you worry. about a lot of those guys from certain. parts of the world you know and I'm not. naming any but like dagestan you know. they use like performance-enhancing.

drugs and stuff do you worry about that. kind of thing you know you saw it was. pretty pretty tight man we were Olympic. drug tested year-round by you sada hmm. just as well just this last week in. Atlanta I was tested twice my own urine. test on one blood test and I was only. there for five days. you know they do very strenuous testing. year-round so I think they cleaned up. the sport you know I just I just hope. they uh it's an even playing field you. know that's right oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.

you want it to be fair yeah they I would. have tested positive for being a. straight [ __ ] and the audience to it I. was so scared for us some people got. hurt I was praying for people I texted. the police at one point like it was. getting uh it was crazy man. it was so crazy man just dude I would. think and there were certain moment. trials like just get to the end of the. round and then you have to [ __ ] do. another round dude I know I know Manik. when I last when the fifth Ron came out.

for my fight when I got off the stool I. was [ __ ] excited I was like all right. now I can just do it out you know I. could leave everything out of there I. don't have to conserve I don't have to. worry about anything we got five minutes. left to find out who's the best that was. exciting time you know knowing there's. five minutes left in this battle yeah it. seemed like um I mean you just came out. dude I woke up in the middle of the. night and watch the whole fight last. night on YouTube again and yet it's so. much different watching it in person. it's so much more intense than watching. it on television or on tape that's what.

that's what that's that's what I try to. tell people who've never been to a live. event like watching even boxing any. combat sport watching it on TV you can. hear the punches land but you don't get. the impact feeling and you don't feel. the energy when you're in there. especially how close you are man you. were down there commentating the fight. and yeah just feel the the energy and. the force and you can see the aggression. and the sweat and blood flying it's just. a totally different feel watching fights. that close bro long sky suddenly I got. scared again right now yeah it was uh it.

was everything man and seeing when you. got that belt mantis how yeah I mean. just paid in full man it just it you. could just see it you could just see it. all right there for you mana that must. have just been what was that like it was. uh you know all these years I imagined. getting the belt put on me and imagine. just touching the belt and being a. champion in the UFC but when it actually. happened it was uh it felt like a dream.

it's all better than I can even I. I could ever thought it felt like and it. felt right it didn't so you know it felt. like I earned it it's not like twelve. years of work and and it just really. felt good man. I've never felt anything like that I. just felt really accomplished and just. proud of myself you know hey man what. else well I mean it's your journey you. know and I think those are perfect that. seems to be yeah you felt very. accomplished it felt right and it's. interesting that you say it felt like a. dream because it was a this was a dream.

of yours so it's like it would almost. make sense that it felt that way I guess. you know right and a dream at times that. has slipped away from me and I didn't. know if I was gonna you know I just in. the back of my head always like no. matter what happened I'm gonna push. through it and overcome and just have. perseverance through anything but you. know still some some days are tough man. some days on the job are tough I've lost. big big fights in the past and going. back home after losing a big fight it's. like man will I ever really make this a. reality and do it when it go and touch.

my skin man I just do like all those. years bro all of you yeah it's so. interesting man I gotta actually got a. message from Michael Bisping the other. night and he said man he did it you know. because I've been messaging him the week. before just asking about the fights and. and no one it seems I was looking at. some information online and it said that. no one has had a longer route from their. first fight to a belt and not Bisping. had 26 fights and I guess for you it was. 22 and and he said a couple nice things.

just such supportive things that he. could really relate to your journey man. do you feel like the journey is over. where do you find motivation and. inspiration now no no you know what I. have is a piece of the World. Championship I have to unify the Bo it. could be when I could win that beat. could be then I'm on top of the mountain. you know right now I'm on I'm on the. edge I got I got a few more steps to go. once I beat khabib then then I'm on top.

of the mountain and then it becomes. about legacy you know what can i what. can I do differently than these other. champions yeah can I do the separate. myself in that category there's levels. to it man there's levels to it for sure. yeah but you're a champion man and. that's uh. they can never take it away from you man. congratulations so much and tell me. about your organization one more time. Dustin that you have there and Lafayette. not a Coconut Creek yep yeah me and my. wife have the good fight foundation it's. the good fight group calm if you want.

any info but uh we're just doing things. around Acadiana and southern Louisiana. trying to help out trying to use my. platform in the best way I can to make. people you know better in my community. the better they everything we can do you. know we're not set to one specific goal. we do all types of things but this next. goal we have we're building a playground. for disabled children at an elementary. school and I'm really really excited to. do that that's awesome man we're gonna. go online and make a make a donation. right after this and-and-and yeah man.

it'd be great if you and I know you know. I've talked about over the past year. about doing maybe a comedy show and. doing some fundraising efforts together. down there and in south Louisiana and. and if you're still willing to do that. man I'd love to be able to you know for. us to see that see that to fruition Oh. hundred percent down I can start working. on it if you want to man it would be. great I think you can really have a huge. turnout and we can get some some good. stuff going for South Louisiana. yeah I think so too man we could start. local I love it uh the champ due.

congratulations brother thank you do man. it was awesome to see you out there in. the crowd row dude I was so excited but. I was gonna [ __ ] it if anybody jumped in. I was jumping in you know you know I I. know you had my back look I was gonna. get knocked the [ __ ] out boy I was ready. to get knocked out I even brought a. pillow in my bag so I was ready man. congratulations champion joy your time. with your family thank you so much the. oh brother good to hear from you are you.

too man have a good day yep well Nick. Davis I mean you're a big UFC guy and. this is a little bit of a different. episode because look I mean I learned a. lot about the fight yeah. was just inspiring he was inspiring to. see dust and it was scary man it was all. I don't know what was going on then. there's people drinking there's one got. his yelling rat King the whole time I'm. like dude were you even looking at the.

[ __ ] fights bro like you can watch me. on youtube you a little charlatan yeah. it was a great night of fights man I did. Dustin seems so pure like everything he. says like yeah he's not trying to put on. airs at all like he he said what he. wanted to do and he did everything he. could to do it he did it yeah yeah I. think that's the thing that resonated me. a lot it's just that you could feel the. perseverance you could feel you know he. just wants to you know he he just it's.

interesting and like you know cuz he's a. guy I think he said he dropped out of. school when he was young like I don't. know I don't know if he and he didn't. didn't finish high school so you would. think at a young age that would probably. make somebody feel kind of uncomfortable. because everybody else you know is. graduated in high school or it's. finished in school you know when it's. just not for you where you have you know. I'm gonna face it he had some learning. disabilities or what he had but he had. it just wasn't his thing you know so. then you have to feel a little bit like. an outsider probably then so to find an.

avenue with it with fighting and people. are like dude I mean if you're somebody. that's fighting around town like until. you [ __ ] win the belt here Kyle until. like you get in the UFC you're just kind. of an [ __ ] you know you're like. somebody that the cops are like keeping. their eye on and then you start to but. just just I guess to see how somebody. can take something that can find their. path not only find their path but then. continue on it when it's such a I mean. it's such a limited it's a very lean.

Mountain you know it seems like that UFC. stuff what do you think yeah totally. especially like he mentioned he a couple. times he got really close to title shots. and he he lost like big fights that the. next one probably would have been a. title shot and when you lose those in in. MMA there's so many contenders it takes. a long long time to get back to a point. and a lot of people when they lose those.

big fights they'll quit but he continued. to push and. he's won like nine ten fights and the. big one everybody talks about was he. fought a guy named a Korean zombie. mm-hmm okay. is that a guy's at a Halloween costume. yeah it's like Boston salmon was another. guy who's fighting this weekend yeah. Boston salmon that's his actual birth. given name Korean Xabi his name's just. like too difficult for people so they. just refer to him everybody just knows. him his Korean Zombie and everybody. thought if Dustin would have won that. fight he would have got a title shot and.

and he got knocked out in that one and. it was it was a long road back yeah and. then yeah and um yeah it just like he's. had such a long road to stay on that. road and I guess in some ways I can. relate to it in the sense the same with. comedy because there's something about. it like you know for the first nine. years of doing comedy like you don't. have any stuff on television you know. the internet wasn't even really a run. you know the first six years the. Internet's not even around she was. telling people you're doing it like.

basically to think you're an alcoholic. and then it just takes so long and. there's so many moments where you get. off of a stage and you're like man I. remember one time I had a even like my. Netflix special I was like oh this is. the opportunity that's gonna change my. space in the industry and it didn't you. know and it was just like man I thought. that was gonna be it buddy just the. timing wasn't right and I wasn't really. ready I mean in hindsight but at the. time I didn't know that that was your. Korean Zombie. there's my Korean zombie dude and now.

I'm eating Boston salmon but I think. that's one thing you get with I think. it's one of the reasons why I love. Maurice Clarett why you know really. respond to him why respond to Dustin's. story you know just seeing him in the. ring at the end and we'll put some. pictures in that there was a moment he's. in the ring and his wife's there behind. him you can just see and I was just on. the edge of the cage and I just just. took as many little pictures as I could. and I was like man this is just such a I. can see it all right here there's just a.

moment where you could see just that a. man it works so hard that picture that. you took you know is absolutely epic. like for him like that's like a keepsake. because he he said on our our in your. interview with them this past weekend. number 142 he's like. he's his wife is his middle school. sweetheart she is she used to ride him. to drive him to practice when they had. one car she'd pick him up and he dropped. out in high school so middle school was. it it's not like people are like well. why didn't you get a high school. sweetheart he didn't hang around for all.

that right and and you captured it. perfectly he's crying she's in the. background just like looking at it they. did it together it's beautiful yeah yeah. they did it together and when you talk. to him even like even over the past year. you know he and I communicate pretty. decently in he and know and I try to get. more into like learning about the sport. a little bit or seeing what's going on. and his message has always just been I. just want to be the champ man I just. want you know that validation and sure.

it's like he only has part of the belt. or whatever they say but that's just the. way it's kind of been unfolding with. people getting suspended people get. busted for this this and that and he. still even though it was an interim belt. he still beat a champion to get the belt. well max is 145 pound champion so I. think that it doesn't lose any anyway. I'd love to see him both fight at 225. the weight yeah see him both from 50. pounds go to Italy for a month it come. back and do it again I forgot to ask him.

about about uh about max if he'd talked. to him and guys this isn't turning into. a UFC podcast but look I got to go I've. never been to a fight before you know I. never even been a Wrestlemania you know. I remember I did drink a couple of a guy. sweat one time when I lost a bet one. time but that's like the closest I've. ever been to really till like an event. like that and first of all the first. fight of the night was this guy Brandon. Davis and and that was really it was a.

bloodbath I mean these two guys just. stood there and beat a pine out of each. other. I mean it was like Halloween it was like. an episode of JCL I was like it's Jason. Voorhees in this match like there was. just blood everywhere and then it was up. and down from there it was just I don't. know man it was quite a spectacle though. it really blew my mind Shaquille O'Neal. was there I mentioned to you this I. mentioned this to you before but like. the way you described the fight.

you're sitting first row you're seeing. your [ __ ] your buddy fight for about. shaquille o'neal's first round it sounds. like a dream someone tells you it just. sounds absurd dude he had a pretzel bro. of an aunt Annies and it was inside of. his entire in the palm of his hand the. whole thing and he just licked it off of. his hand it's like a horse salt like oh. he licked he licked it in half did he. lick it once it was a half of the. pretzel left he bisected it the long way. not like it was it was uh I would.

recommend it if you never been to see. something like that I would recommend it. and there was so many great people I met. too many people in the stands and the. weekend started you and I went to. Aerosmith it was awesome what a weekend. I mean we went to Aerosmith and you. didn't did you lose any money how do you. end up yeah I ended up losing even handi. I cut myself off I stayed an extra day. in Vegas cut myself off after after. losing 100 cuz I was up a hundred yeah.

initially and then on that extra night I. told you I played in that poker. tournament oh yeah that was those wild. man I played about three hours just to. finish one spot outside the money but it. was one guy almost attacked me after I. beat him with my pocket aces look you. gotta pull that Ridge blade on him yeah. that's right luckily there was a. bodyguard from Floyd Mayweather's the. money team also in the tournament so I. think if [ __ ] went down he would have.

had my back also an embezzler probably. from Floyd Mayweather's money he's out. there just getting rid of cash in Vegas. yeah he was a little agitated too. because everything was it was like 12:30. at night and everything around us was. closed and he this guy was like probably. 300 pounds and he said he didn't eat. meat so there was like nothing for him. to eat it was it was very bizarre Wow. and the guy who I flipped out on me so. he got out in like the first five hands. that's why I was so pissed and and so.

then you can rebuy back into the. tournament yeah and then so after he. flips out he comes he has to sit back at. our table and it was just an incredibly. awkward. that's all Gordon yeah but I outlasted. him again at least that was my goal. after that was my championship. just not lasting that guy yeah and you. said you were one one one spot away from. getting in the money huh yeah and the. hand I went out on had I wanted what I. would have been chip leader at the table. with only six people left uh I would. have been sitting sitting real pretty we. would had a different guy in here today. a guy called my ace nine with an ace.

four and he beat me. mmm-hmm well you gave it a shot man yeah. it was super fun it's a way better way. because there's $65 over three hours. that's like you said a blackjack table. that long you could lose way more money. in that so it was fun way to spend the. time or you sit at the Batchelor slot. machine like I did and lose on earn 82. ways to do Vegas guys okay that's two. ways to do yes that was fun though man. in Arrowsmith look for a 71 year old man.

that guy had it I thought I thought he. did a great job that was that was. incredible it those guys 70 years old. it's it's insane and the fact that. they're doing that four nights a week -. yeah he's a machine oh we got to tell. you this so they had a so ariseth the. crowd it's a mixed bag there you know is. a lot of first of all it's people know. all the songs you know everybody and the. tickets we had no joke we were seven. feet from the stage probably six feet.

from the walk of this walk out part of. the stage and look I've never been that. close to any type of event you know I'm. gonna do usually that's in the back. [ __ ] doing dice with the homeless. didn't I remember being at the Superdome. in New Orleans one time there's a some. guy I think either had schizophrenia was. just lost was at the game banging on the. back wall asking people to let him out. the whole time of the stadium like it's. just like turn around bro nice walk down.

you know but I think you just kind of. mixed up or you know I don't know what. the [ __ ] but that dude the whole time. literally knocking on the back wall let. me out. but this was something else man this was. something else we were right up there. and and they had this guy it was a lot. of light probably 40 and 50 year old. couples I would say you know it's not. like it's not a bunch of people smoking. weed and do an acid it. like in in my imagination and then there.

was a dude next to has had a couple of. young escorts it seemed like a couple. thoughts with him yeah I think that guy. I think he's just a really big Aerosmith. Aerosmith fan and he wanted to make this. night perfect so yeah he got three of. the prettiest ladies he could find that. some sugar babies and I'm not saying. that they were escorts I don't know that. but they were definitely dates you know. or one of them was his daughter that. also didn't mind touching him a lot so. he had a unique triumvirate of women.

with him but it created this weird. energy around us because you had these. other couples that have flown in from. the Midwest or New Jersey or you know or. just driven in from Henderson Nevada and. they were and they were all there to see. her Smith and suddenly there's these. these young bus buxom these young bucks. some ladies milling around right there. and and they were all offended a little. bit you could tell so anyway this man. had these two ladies there these buxom.

you know younger ladies and look I get. it you're you know these are older women. and they've you know they spent time. raising their families and stuff like. that they're they're enjoying an era so. maybe they went and saw the band with. their husband when they were young and. now they're in their 50s and they're. back to see the band so then you have. this man right there who obviously has. left his wife and he gots a couple of. thoughts you know a couple of internet. you know choice kind of buxom gals out. there a couple of [ __ ] you know.

[ __ ] titty bunnies with him so and. they're right up by the stage and. they're like dancing all over them and. so all of the older men are like ogling. these young ladies and they can't help. it that's nature you know what I'm. saying if you put a [ __ ] if you put. an arm if you put a dime near uh near a. bank the [ __ ] banks gonna look at it. you know and so so Nick anyway I went to. the restroom and Nick take it away Nick.

well you know I like to smoke a little. weed now and then yeah. and now they've got all these new. gadgets and gizmos that you. smoke weed out of oh yeah I've got one. of those vape pens that has THC in it. and that's that what it's like an. electric cigarette oh yeah cigarette and. that's for children I thought it was for. teenagers and you have it I do I do but. yeah I don't know my gets you high so I. don't think it's for children oh that's. a good point but but yeah a little. juvenile nonetheless yeah.

but either way I was trying to be. respectful of your sobriety not that you. give a [ __ ] or usually have any judgment. but I appreciate it. so you went to the bathroom and I. decided to partake and we had already. your you had already been chatting a. little bit with these these uh these. young ladies yeah one of the girls had. listened to an episode of this past. weekend with a sex worker we'd. interviewed so that right there was just. kind of it was an interesting moment. yeah and she she told you she learned a. lot from it yeah yeah she said oh I've.

seen you do comedy before and and and I. start your podcast with the sex worker. so that was pretty that was pretty. it wasn't telling but it was interesting. it very interesting but yeah so when you. went to the bathroom I pulled out my pen. and I hit it to enjoy the concert in. even a different state and look you know. I'm still me like I'm a cop okay I feel. like I'm a police officer. well sir so I got high when you went to. bed and she saw it and she was like oh.

is that weed and I was like it is I was. like do you smoke weed cuz cuz it's. strong and she was like she's like yeah. I do I'm fine and she had tits that like. if she said yes her tits would like move. up and down for yes and if she said no. her tits move left and right for no like. it was like she didn't even move her. head her just her tits would move and. they moved up and down for yes so I so I. let her hit it and she was gone. immediately I mean this was like yeah. this was uh it was very much like I'm.

trying to relate it to a fight at UFC. that I saw this weekend it was like it. was an immediate knock-down yeah Wilson. haste versa pantoja yeah she she got. knocked out Wilson Hayes yeah yeah it. was it was immediate so next thing you. know nail this lady's sitting in the. chair. and she's like puking into a bag so. suddenly all the Midwest couples and all. the other women are like cheering now. they're all dancing somebody started.

singing Jessie's girl Erica thought he. was sing that and you mentioned how a. lot of the older gentlemen were all. distracted by them and all the the women. that were with the older gentlemen they. were appalled at what they were seeing. so then I think you let you were right. they got some satisfaction off seeing. this situation go awry yeah yeah there. was a special moment like in and. suddenly like everybody could have fun. and it was like the aunt last two or. three songs of the concert and it was. like like what it what was supposed to.

happen had happened you know the good. the Dark Arts had been defeated okay and. then the guy was like all kind of what. you could tell he was pissed cuz one of. his workers was down you know just. imagine how mad you are if I don't come. into work you know oh definitely yeah. and I had to turn the cameras on myself. Jesus out of [ __ ] lost my mind I had. to put that in there but mr. officer I. will say that that was just a weed pen. and she had to have been drunk pretty. drunk before to have that effect on her.

dude it was so funny because literally. she goes from being this pair of tits. that even Steven Tyler would come over. like he had somebody else sing a song at. one point and he's just over like. looking at this girl's tats and then. finally um and then finally justice was. served Nick hit her with that weed and. put her out oh dude this is a [ __ ]. mental calligraphy this [ __ ] she was. that was it and then I don't know if you. remember I thought you you made Steven.

Tyler walk off stage at one point. because their last song of their setlist. was was dude looks like a lady mm-hmm. and then they go yeah yeah he was. holding the mic out to like different. parts of the crowd and when he got to. our section you were looking down at. your phone and he wanted us all to. respond and you didn't and then the. concert game ended almost immediately. after I thought you pissed him off but. it turns out that's the regular setlist. now I remember that dude and I [ __ ]. felt horrible it was like and I'd paid.

attention is probably 92% of the concert. you know I caught what I could on my. phone some people were it was too much. on the phone like those the thoughts and. even that old guy who hired the thoughts. dude you know they were on there they. were just video recording the whole time. but I try to embrace it in that one. moment he came and you saw me looked at. me huh yeah yeah I was yeah yeah I was. [ __ ] right there dude and I looked at.

him the whole time hoping you'd look at. and the one moment he looks Mike was. maybe 18 inches from now would I was. gonna sing the wrong song I'm glad maybe. I wasn't I was because if I'd have just. turned around and was like Jesse's girl. I could have ruined it mm-hmm oh but man. what a time and to go from one close. range thing where people are singing one. and where people are fighting I'd way. rather be a singer a hundred percent you.

gotta hit a high note instead of hit. another [ __ ] easily do during. the fight man oh god it was just so. intense man and you're right there in. Joe Rogan seats I'm gonna put a little. video up on patreon of what Joe Rogan. seats are like and uh and you just you. know you're right there and there's. cameras production going on so you kind. of want to be cognizant of that and.

there's people there's some guy yelling. Rat King the whole time but there was a. lot of great people in the stands you. got to me to go you know just it was. well Friday night I did sorry Friday. night I did Joe sho did a surprise spot. on Joe's show in Atlanta and I'm gonna. apologize for anybody that saw that that. was uh that was so I come out cold right. it was cold audience so I walk out the. lights are still on it wasn't like a. convention center wasn't in like a.

typical place where you would do a. comedy show so I walk out and it's like. Jesus Christmas man bah like I have no. clue how to open a show anymore I lost. that I'm used to going at the end you. know I'm used to the comfortable spot I. might used to having asleep in you know. on the floor he's just sleeping up. the bed you know when it's cozy and and. it was a humbling experience man. Oh at one point I didn't even know what. my joke was I was in the middle of a bit. and I just screamed I was like fry one.

point I tied my shoe that's how well it. was going oh this is going so good take. a break tighten up the outfit man that. was hectic too but afterwards I get off. stage Joe's like I'm definitely paying. you for that one that's what he said. so I knew that it wasn't really super. great but we had a blast him and then we. went out to eat afterwards and and you.

know Joe Rogan he's drinking he got all. kind of special things he pulled out of. it that man sack you pull a little. couple pints of [ __ ] uh you know. hummingbird [ __ ] spit you know you. know drink that on the spot he'll. Dripping into his eyeballs you know what. I'm saying you know Joe Rogan he's doing. wild stuff he'll pull a couple of. [ __ ] little you know he had a little. bag and it was part of it was froat had. it froze he had a freezer section in his. fanny pack. he had [ __ ] a little cheetah legs in. their little uh cheetah drumettes just. eaten the [ __ ] the short arms of.

cheetah just [ __ ] nibbling on them. you know dipping him in ranch real ranch. like a section of land from Montana just. dipping it right into it you know like. he had French dressing doubt and it was. real I think it was just the blood of. Napoleon Bonaparte and he just [ __ ]. basking in that and him [ __ ] have a. little bit of that cheetah leg he was. drinking all kind I mean yeah when you. were Joe Rogan you don't know what he's. having. you know he's taking he's on all the dog. he's got all the wildest supplements you.

know at one point I heard a falcon. [ __ ] vomited it like just in into the. air thousands of feet away and Rogan. [ __ ] caught her in his pocket you. know use that for later in case he you. know to a special south to solve a. situation and then at one point he got a. call no joke on his phone bro it said. Neptune I was like Jesus Christ huh they. must have been Eddie Bravo huh. that must have well it didn't say flat. Neptune then it would have been but I. was like but his ringtone was their.

actual. of Saturn and I was like this is too. much and it's sometimes when you're. hanging out you're Rogen it's just uh I. mean it's a history lesson it's a. geology lesson it's a philosophy lesson. I mean who you never know what's gonna. go on you know I mean the bread the. bread basket at dinner with him tasted. like Sokrates bro like [ __ ] so crazy. boy unbelievable but anyway man I. [ __ ] bomb so if you if you want to.

know what it's like here's here's what I. think it would be like go to your first. job and have to do it right now what. would that be for you knew I'd be. working at the library which is where. you're gonna be working at these [ __ ]. cameras don't get [ __ ] tightened up. anyway I had to throw that in um you be. working at the library yeah do you think. you could handle it now the library. would you lose your mind I lose my mind. for sure I wasn't a good employee back. then so really yeah man I because my job. was magazines and the periodicals oh.

yeah yeah so I just spent a lot of my. time flipping through magazines not as. beautiful it's where I got a lot of uses. in formation I guess so dude dude I. remember I go into the library man the. library was like a place where you know. the lights were on. you could be in there they weren't gonna. kick you out really because there was. just the library you just had to be. quiet and if you weren't quiet that it's. told you to be quiet every five minutes. all day and you could still be there and.

I remember I go once I started reading. but you know regular books as a child. and then because my mom instead of. getting us a babysitter soon was just. tickets to the library and it should be. the library four or five hours you know. and they have free water they have water. fountains bathrooms were nice you know. and they had they had microfiche and. stuff like that you should be able to. rent a movie at the library even but I. remember I once I started getting. erections and getting into sex and stuff.

like that are thinking about it they I'd. go look at those rubenesque women and. then like though the rubenesque art. period you know in those books and they. had naked women in the books I mean. people had drawn them and I remember get. I would close my erection in the book. until I [ __ ]. kein like real real hard you know and. then I'd feel so [ __ ] bad about. myself and so bad about art so I'm glad. I'm not doing that kind of [ __ ] anymore. but oh but anyway what I say I would.

talk last feed about masturbation I you. know I'd done like a hundred and maybe. ten days of not of no masturbation but a. pornography there's a great there's a. call relating to this oh really yeah I. think if you look at the sheets like. number five or six okay maybe two let's. uh god I feel looking at porn yeah okay. let's listen out right now right do. Straker from Kansas City what's up Jacob. thank you for calling brother me and my. buddy that you called big white who saw.

you at the late Friday show in Casey oh. yeah dude that's [ __ ] big whitey. white bra big [ __ ] marshmallow. [ __ ] Johnson um you know last week. you talked about masturbation in the. dark arts man and you know when we. talked I thank you for the crusade. against the dark art of masturbation oh. yeah self coming go on and what really. shouldn't look is when you said that you. looked at the pornography on Saturday.

night or Sunday night after the show and. I was like [ __ ] because when I talked to. you you said it was going to get you. thinking about it and you know all that. [ __ ] so [ __ ] man hope I didn't make you. masturbate but if I did stay strong you. know do a lot for people more than you. know well for you apparently out us. masturbate brother so I don't think you. did man I mean I don't know if you put. it in my head I think what happens for. me is if I haven't slept much and that's. what happened I hadn't slept much and I.

got just kind of frustrated and you know. I've been taking good care of myself and. I wanted to do something I wanted to. [ __ ] throw a javelin out of a [ __ ]. window off of a building and [ __ ] hit. somebody at a bus stop or I wanted to. you know tie Christmas wreaths around. some greedy [ __ ] neck and then just. hook it to it you know hook it to a you. know to a car and just drag that bastard. around town playing. and Christmas carols on the jukebox in.

the car you know I just wanted to do. some type of violence I wanted to act. out you don't wanted to take one of my. [ __ ] arms and just beat somebody with. it literally take it off my body I. wouldn't be awesome you could take your. left arm off your body. put your then rip it off your body right. then with your right arm with your right. hand you grab your left hand and now you. have a super long arm. let us bones sticking out of the end and. you're just beating the [ __ ] out of. people with it sorry look that's what.

happened you go to UFC man you come back. do you think about that kind of stuff. but I wanted to act out so I hope it. wasn't because of you and big whitey. that I [ __ ] ended up doing. masturbation man you know I really hope. it wasn't but yeah I watched a. pornography and I felt horrible about it. you know I got caught up in it and you. know it even got deeper for me man I uh. you know I started I thought I thought. about getting escorts and Las Vegas and. you know and and it even took me in a.

kind of like a dark place there where. you know I was really you know and even. kind of looked into it you know to be. honest I didn't even just think about it. you know I and it didn't end up. happening so I'm thankful that that's. the way that it worked out but yeah it's. like one thing I don't know if one thing. leads to the next but one thing doesn't. help the next you know but yeah man I. mean I'm not really proud to say it but.

because I've been doing real good with. that kind of stuff but you know I had uh. yeah looked into getting an escort and. then you know and I had even had it kind. of lined up and then uh you know she. said that she wasn't feeling good and I. was like well I don't want to sick you. know prostitute that's a bad idea. you know I'm saying I wouldn't I. wouldn't try to do any kind of sexual. activity with anybody when they're sick. you know even if somebody sneeze and I'm.

gonna try to [ __ ] them I mean Annette's. I've always said that you know but so. anyway I'm just kind of grateful to do. it that it worked out the way it. because it left me with a little bit. more integrity and I thought anything's. wrong with it it's just I didn't really. want to be doing that I don't think it's. wrong with something with hire and women. that are sex workers or anything like. that but I just didn't want to be doing. it and I just knew that I didn't want to. be doing it and uh and so I'm kind of.

glad it worked out the way that it did. and I don't know if I would have gone. through it there but I planned on it you. know I planned on you know just I've. really just kind of given into the dark. arts really uh but then some other stuff. happened that day that kind of were just. like real like life kind of things like. one of my friend's dad's passed away and. and it kind of brought me back into like. a more of a reality space and so I was. glad I hadn't heard from this lady I. didn't hear anything from her and then. and I hadn't reached out and then.

finally I got a message says hey I'm not. feeling well and so I was really. grateful I'm just grateful that somebody. there was a there's a power out there. that had a bigger plan than I did for. myself so anyway that's a short. turnaround to you uh you had a flight. out at 7 a.m. and we finished you in. like 12:30. yeah and now was the dark arts man and. instead I got to go eat women tea you. know cuz that's when I probably try to. meet up with her with a escort at night.

you know I'm not [ __ ] somebody for. money in the daytime you know what I'm. saying that's you know the saint. Morocco or something and I don't know. what that means let's get into a couple. of the calls here that came in oh man. what a day huh there is one news story. on there that was related to pornography. well let's get into it man yeah man I. guess do the saddest thing about it I.

only want to talk about it that much. maybe I'll talk about it more next week. there's a new story about pornography. yeah and it says right here a Michigan. man is seeking more than 86,000 from his. parents in civil court for allegedly. throwing out his large pornography. collection the man moved back into his. parents home after a divorce a year. later the man moved and. when his parents discovered his property. the parents delivered his property to.

his new home the porn was missing he. tried to press charges look that's a. collection at a certain point you can't. get that quality art anymore it's all. video now there's no art to it there. used to be the artistic edge of seeing. two people [ __ ] a magazine you didn't. know you know there's maybe a little bit. of backstory you know Janet you know. Janet used to work at a at a Deutsche.

Bank or something you know there used to. be something you know Kaleb was a you. know rides horses and you get a little. more information so you had on the page. you almost got to know him each page was. a little bit more in the beginning there. was like a bale of hay and some titties. and somebody had a hat on and then by. the end people were just doing sex and. for that man to lose all of this in one. fell swoop that's pretty heavy it's. pretty heavy man but also his parents. are really battling the da's man they're.

battling the dark arts by throwing that. out my throne and in the incinerator the. dad he had a quote it seemed like he was. really had his sons best interests at. heart the father told the son believe it. or not the one reason for why I. destroyed your porn was for your own. mental and emotional health I would have. done the same if I had found a kilo of. crack cocaine someday I hope you will. understand you came [ __ ] throw Kent. cocaine out like that you know I'm.

saying put it in a special place don't. pitch it you know you got to put that in. a dam in a cocaine Museum or something. how is there not a crack museum another. great idea oh wow look at that eight. look at the hall hall day eight ball. that's it would be called must be all. eight balls from around the world and. the Liberty Bell yeah yeah the Liberty. Bell has crack if it is cracked yeah. gang good choice oh man here we are man.

let's do this right here let's say we. got some other calls that came in about. the UFC fights the oh man here we go. we're here Lana was that. UFC fights last night if you can't tell. by the a [ __ ] throat problem I got. right now. oh yeah man I feel you and look dude my. head hurts so bad after the Kevin Kelvin. Gastelum fight which I wanted him to win. so bad dude he's built just like kind of. like I don't even know what he's built. like he's built like some guy at the.

beach that you know definitely is gonna. drink all day I mean he felt like he was. wearing board shorts he was the only. fighter wearing no joke swim trunks. during the fight okay like if he would. have walked over his corner and cracked. open a bush light would not have been. shocked and he I thought he was gonna. get I thought he's gonna beat his Rea. Israel but dude I wouldn't buy that last. fight my head hurt so bad I could barely.

even cheer man and that's the one I was. there for the most let's hear more. they're watching you during that Poirier. fight was just as in the Testament we. lost the suit in the first round I did. lose my [ __ ] in the first round and. that's when they said you got to gotta. calm down. nobody said if I could feel everybody. about to say it you know even the Rat. King guy who'd been yelling racking the. whole time was like so that's when I. knew I did tight I had to turn it down a.

notch let's hear more. I'm glad Rogan got you in there man got. to see see the best sport out there man. I tell you feeling it glide see you had. a good time man glad your boy brought. home this traffic strap keep doing the. damn thing man killing it appreciate it. love you Gang Gang man love you too. brother thanks for a thank for for the. call yeah I'm glad I look hot dude I was. up out of my seat I was losing my mind I. even got a tech from Brennan child and. he said hey man I can hear you in the.

background of the fights get your [ __ ]. together I could hear you at times do so. crazy I don't even always yelling I was. yelling dangerous stuff damn I hit him. in the neck I yelled one time and that's. when somebody I think even Shaquille. O'Neal looked at me and he'd been hacked. he knew that's that hack-a-shaq he. probably heard that before. foul him. make him shoot free-throws I yelled out. one time during one of the fights so you. could tell sometime I didn't know what. was happening we got another call here.

the hotline as always is nine eight five. six two six six six four nine five zero. three it's ninety five six six four nine. five zero three can't believe I forgot. that I discombobulated yeah yeah well. it's just because the first forty. minutes of this episode are gonna have. to be in drawing form but cuz the. cameras aren't on but it's gonna be. interesting but hey we made it through. it right I think it's great episode. still that's fire well at least we have. at least we look I'm glad that we.

persevered it's one thing we learned. from Dustin Poirier man you know we. could have fallen out we could have. stopped it we could have got furious. these cameras are my Korean Zombie. yeah these your Korean Zombie dude and. one of them you said was on but I'm. really curious to see how you montage. clips from other episodes to make it. look like I'm talking all these things. so it'll be interesting let's hear this. at this a call came in all right here's. my audition for a dragon great block.

pizza it's the best pizza in California. it's got some sausages and hot peppers. and it's so glued it blew my sister's. legs off but we still order pizzas to go. great block pizza at the hospital threes. are so good great block pizza right by. the beach for a block pizza it's good. it's good like that man I'll tell you.

this the way to a girl's heart brah. it ain't through her legs anymore it's. through her [ __ ] stomach I think that. could be kind of fun if every once a. while we few people send in their reads. for gray-black pizza and we play em I. like that so yeah we'll do that for the. next couple of episodes if you want to. submit a read for gray block pizza then. summit the aviary ad read at nine eight. five six six four nine five zero three. oh man.

yeah what a weekend bro what a weekend. and I never go do anything fun you know. always just do work so when I'm home you. got us like to relax you know I like to. watch a little bit of Dateline see if. anybody got you know going through some. tough times I mean I can't even sleep. without a murder sometimes you know and. that's the dark arts that's when you. know you're getting infected so I got to. start watching some other stuff and you. know just being more open to some new.

ideas what else not much I'm on a West. Palm Beach in a couple of weeks you can. get those tickets at theof on comm slash. tour that's April 27th and 28th what. else Nick man I can't believe you. freaking down that thought boy you down. that busty bunny boy you put he doped up. that what was in that dope man just a. lot of dope bro I mean that [ __ ] she. looked like who's something that was up. you gave her that Boston salmon brother.

she hug can hit them Izzy she hit the. mad bro. like literally I come back and then the. guys other girl came over you know with. the little you know he came over and. said hey would you get my girl. just a little THC little THC dude. and she was that she was out unless he. was she fights next and I knew max all. the way let's take another call here we.

go I feel this is Sarah calling from. Michigan long short time listener person. caller thanks for calling Sarah from. Michigan let's hear more and I'm in my. late 20s and decided to be celibate I. had a lot of sexual relations in my 20s. and not really finding it very sizzling.

anymore and what do we tell I need. someone that I really connect with and. have. decent relationship with so I was hoping. that you could give me some advice. regarding when to tell someone that I'm. not going to be an easy conquest when is. the best time that I told someone that. well right now you just told them and uh.

but that's a good question when do you. tell somebody that I think you know I. think you could let them know them at. the end of the first date in an. appropriate way you can let them know in. the beginning I've asked women out and. they said from the beginning if you're. just looking for sex or sexual interest. or touching or something like that or. body touching then I'm not that person. don't come around here with that you.

know I got a kid or I got you know a. couple cats or whatever and my trying to. put them through that some lady didn't. want a man in fewer cats until like the. fifth date I was like I don't give a. [ __ ] I was like I don't want to meet him. even if it's 200 dates I don't want to. [ __ ] meet them cats you know some. lady said why don't you come by the. house you know case [ __ ] mittens. and bunny first of all you named a cat. Barney oh that's pretty nuts who would. name a cat Bonnie and what are you.

supposed to do Easter he's just losing. his [ __ ] and doesn't know why he thinks. it's his fault that once a year he. [ __ ] this losers loses his [ __ ]. mind and starts writing cadbury in his. in his litter box with his arm huh hurry. [ __ ] why does that cat on the. internet that does the computer the. office space one then the cat that works. at Xerox or whatever what the [ __ ] is. going on I don't ever want to meet your. cat's lady and you can tell him that.

I'll write him a damn note dude I'll. [ __ ] write a little note on the back. of a piece of salmon a nothing you give. him that he ain't coming I ain't. bringing I ain't bringing him out of. house until you know she said yeah. meeting my Castille the fifth date. and you know what I do if you ever do. bring me over there to meet him I'm a. hot milk in my shoes and make them lose.

their [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] hot some 4% then. bottom each of my boots and just just be. that [ __ ] lean that leche snapper and. have this little [ __ ] losing. their minds so I don't want to even date. that you know I don't be no cat step. daddy lady. so get your mind right but anyway were. we talking about Sarah.

yeah celibacy it's uh I mean you know. what they say this [ __ ] ain't for. everybody that's what they say usually. when people are celibate and they say. you know uh you must respect this house. and that's actually I think part of a. underarm rad underarmour ad but still. it's similar in that sense you mom. you know you must respect this house you. feel me this vajazzle you know what I'm.

saying. the drawbridge is up on this vajazzle. and that's what you're saying and I. think you let a guy know that in the. beginning just say if you're looking for. so if you're not looking for something. serious but don't bait him with it the. whole time either don't draw a little. bitter you know don't draw a little you. know leave a little pubic hairs on a. napkin. you know don't leave a little pippick. hairs on this plate after he's done. eating so he you know he goes to the. bathroom after dinner he comes back and. then got some freakin public hairs on. the edge of his plate he's gonna be like.

what's it worth don't don't trick him. like that you know just tell him. straight up and don't hold it over his. head oh and maybe next I'm gonna do all. of that [ __ ] you know don't do you know. it's not a bartering tool you know it's. a but it is it's your item you know and. maybe he don't want to share the wiener. a lot of these ladies thinking oh I'm. keeping the kitty at they you know at. the corral you know I'm keeping the. carpet the at the UH in the cauldron.

but what if sometimes yeah oh man don't. want to share the Wiener with you ladies. sometimes I ain't [ __ ] sharing the. Wiener. I'll tell you the look wieners out you. know uh out of order I'll hang a dang. son I'll tie a little you know I'll put. a little I'll tie a little man I'll. shave a message into my public area uh. go on fishing that's what I'll write.

because sometime you're Manning the. wieners aren't always available so don't. act like it's always read it's always. out there for you I think everybody. could say look it's no dick August you. know what I'm saying that's what I'm. doing ladies who's ready for no dick. August these ladies thinking they keep. getting this Wiener whenever they want. think again walking in a winter.

wonderland no you're not. you better moonwalk you ass on out of. here because you he's lost you use. having a damn lunar eclipse if you think. he's getting this wiener anytime any day. this ain't that 7-eleven a dick booboo. okay this this is this dick got limited. hours okay this the Chase Bank a dick. and you better this is only during.

certain hours and also I'm only working. sometime with private clients so that's. what I'm saying this Weiner and. available forever what were we talking. about. but if you're trying to be celibate look. I think you tell them up top what do you. think Nick yeah I agree. that's good way to weed them out yeah. yeah man I can't stop thinking about the. fact that I almost got that escort I. think it's interesting though that like.

because you've been sober now over. two-and-a-half years and like people. listening may think okay he's better now. like he's not struggling anymore but. it's like these things can still spring. up like even when everything is like. going well you just get these urges yeah. yeah it's funny because I didn't uh you. know I had no thoughts about it and then. I think is just you know I don't know. what it was what what it was was I. wanted to do what I wanted to do you. know I didn't want to I didn't want to.

you know I wanted to do something that I. wasn't supposed to do I guess and it's. also my own walls if I put up if I don't. want to do that but yeah I just I don't. know man. so I'm grateful that you know I mean I. know it's it's easy to say well I'm. happy they got you know that my higher. power didn't you know kind of let the. things fold out the way that they were. that I had planned but you know I I mean. I felt like I kind of got cold feet.

about it or cold dick I guess they. called it and um and I'm thankful that I. that you know a higher power could do do. for me what I couldn't do for myself. really you know but yeah I just think. looking at that pornography just spurned. me it spurned me it's like when somebody. drives by your house and [ __ ] you. know she you know somebody takes a. bullet full of creme brulee into shoots. that [ __ ] right in your throat from. sixty yards away you're like God that.

was good but now your brains thing in. the desert and before I really had had. good control over my brain but I've been. so busy recently I hadn't really been. focusing on a lot of just the things I. need to do to keep myself in a good. place and and I'm not being hard on. myself I don't think you know I just. want to I just want to be making. decisions that I definitely want to make. you know so I guess part of me is just. like is that something I wanted to do or. is that something I felt like I was. doing because I was being deviant you.

know I think that's the sugar lizards. sibling the [ __ ] lizard well the sugar. listen go for anything oh okay then it's. the sugar lizard yeah I don't have to. say the p-word in here gotcha I mean we. say once an episode maybe but we won't. say it flat out like that with both. asses. you know I'm sorry am I trying to be. rude or anything but I should have known. better. how else could you say it you think me.

yeah Wasi was there you go one that why. my dangerous son Oh. but good luck out there Sara being. celibate and you do whatever you want to. do shut it down dude seal that thing up. don't eat your vagina to charity or. whatever you know mail that [ __ ] the. [ __ ] vag gana Stan do whatever you. want to do with it I mean I think. [ __ ] is getting outdated anyway this. some people still [ __ ] maybe in areas. but a lot of people aren't a lot of. people are over it there's bigger fish.

to fry out there you know those Boston. salmon yeah there's Boston salmon yo. what's up there this man out of LA. originally Indianapolis see that you're. going down to Australia next month and. I'm so excited man ASA did this little. bitty down there she explained recently. but good memories of that oh yeah that's. that hemisphere crotch when you jump in. hemisphere to catch some legs on this.

you know that ain't that local I need. that Boston salmon today who I got. caught in from Twitter. you know black hole just got sucked down. some odd zeros football highlights oh I. know what it was I was looking up like. how to spell yeah oh well they had only. how to spell yeah yeah look it up in. yellow means cocaine know Google's like. did you mean go yeag turns out he's a. solid rules football player just start. watching his highlight reel they get on. Twitter she slows things um but when.

you're down there man that was one thing. I can do I highly recommend it then I'm. Sean Payton down there but then I'm. trying to cute or clever it's just it's. like American football and rugby you. know all mixed into one. you know I'd love to see some of it. actually had a man hit me up on Dam and. he's a player down there one of the. teams and I'll look and see who he is. and he invited me to a match over in. Perth during the afternoon which I think. I'll actually be able to attend so it.

could be pretty cool but thank you for. the recommendation at Aussie Rules. Football. and uh yeah I'd like to try it you know. I'm excited about being down there and. I'm gonna try to take a vacation the. week before that and go somewhere I. really need to decide today but man this. weekend was fun it was just so much fun. to like just do stuff that I just didn't. have to work you know even though I did. jump on Joe Rogan show and take a. [ __ ] L bro God dude I've taken an. elbow before and this was an L bro I.

took that [ __ ] son but it was good man. it's exactly what I needed you know it. was nice to just just to feel that. humility. you know like man this is what this is. what it's like when everything is not. you know you know when you got to go. first when you you know you're out of. your comfort zone you and Nate bargatze. kind of talked about something similar. how now every time you perform like. people are excited they're ready to see. you they're ready to laugh but this was.

kind of that thing where you got to get. him on your side first. since you're opening the show and yeah. yeah yeah you got to get him on your. side first and I did I went I went out. and I'll kind of win in a material then. I wasn't going I didn't know what to do. I got scared it was honestly man it was. pretty cool cuz then I still had to stay. in there I still had to stay it's like. [ __ ] finally made it through some moment. this rounds over people were coming in. somebody was drunk you know people were. yelling stuff and it was like it [ __ ] it.

was set up for like a TED talk you know. it wasn't even there was no backstage. like backstage it was just like a wall. and it was so we're like just standing. there right behind the curtain usually. there's like a place to chill out and. stuff it was a wild man but but I'm just. grateful I guess I'm just I don't know I. went through it and Here I am and that's. life take another call here yeah what's. up video this is Jake down : I'm just wanted to let you know this. past weekend I hit three weeks of.

sobriety and Gang Gang baby that's. awesome man congratulations Jake I'm. calling you from a rehab center right. now but yeah man things are going good. I'm hitting three. 1/2 weeks now and getting getting better. getting getting healthy and I just want. to thank you for what you do and I also. want to thank my boy Kai for giving me. this number while I was in here and he's.

been following a podcast for a minute. now gang man looks nicer that's sweet. that he shared that you know what you. see any just yeah and others more the. call yeah yeah ok that's sweet that he. shared that that castrator with y'all. word but when he showed it to me I. thought you know I'm gonna give this guy. a call and see what's up but yeah man. I'm going through some some serious. stuff right now I've got four weeks here. at rehab going down the first week was.

detox another pain in the ass oh but. making the best of it I'm finding I'm. finding out who my real self is and. you've been a huge inspiration to me so. thank you for that it's going to get off. of that blow cane and that sweet sweet. green you know but um thank you again. dude I appreciate everything you do man. alright peace gang man I just liked.

apart how he said he's getting to know. his true self now that like the cloud of. the drugs are gone like yeah you talked. a lot about to when you get off that. stuff you start feeling feelings and I. feel like that's what he's going through. at the moment yeah yeah I appreciate you. making sure that I played all of that. Nick um man I appreciate that I did it. so sweetie to call and just share that. that's the realest thing you know it's. like yeah just you're right back there. someone's like you're like an infant. like with feelings again it's like. feelings become like these new toys that.

you're just not used to you don't know. how to play with you no matter behave. around and uh and and you stay sober so. then everyday it's like you're playing. with them the most purest way you can. you know you showing up each day to to. hold yourself accountable and to [ __ ]. these are my feelings and these things. are raw as [ __ ] you know because at some. point in my life I chose. to cover them up you know to cover up.

these things so I wouldn't feel them you. just layer stuff over them and so it can. be anything and you know or you know it. could be used drugs it could be food it. could be anger it could be sex it could. be anything that we use to cover up. whatever those these like seeds of. discomfort are and I just think it's. courageous man I think it's I think you. know I hope you stay sober for as long. as you want to and I and and if you. don't and that's fine none that there's.

no right or wrong way to do it only you. know if you have a problem with. addiction but I think it's brave you. know I think it's brave to meet life. head-on you know there's times this. weekend man I was at the fight and. people are having a beer there's times I. you know went out with Joe rogon's and. he's eating [ __ ] you know Dalmatian. nuggets or whatever he's snacking on and. uh and and I'm wondering and they're. having a whiskey him and whiskey ginger. [ __ ] Andrew Santa Barra.

that guy's a dancer the [ __ ] ginger. that whatever a camera's name is [ __ ]. ginger AIDS he said that they're having. a whiskey and it's night time and ever. and I wanted to have one but I wanted to. stay in my line a little you know and I. wanted to just I don't know man and it's. not wrong what they did it's not right. what I did it's just it gives me.

something to do every day to wake up in. battle you know see what these feelings. are inside of me and I and I applaud you. for doing that for just trying it and. and if people aren't doing it that. everybody's different some people don't. have to deal with their feelings like. like I do you know when I wake up in the. morning my feelings are right there and. they're ready to [ __ ] with me dawg you. know when they want to [ __ ] with me. and they want to they want to ruin my. day a lot of times they want me they. just need to be babysat they're all.

these babies it's like it's like this. baby inside of me it's like I just it's. not taken care of and I got to take care. of it so I got a I got to manage well. and I can't do that if I'm using. drugs and alcohol right now maybe one. day I'll be able to but I applaud you. man I didn't mean to go off on that. tangent but yeah I don't know I guess. just a lot going on and that's good. that's life and here we are I think we. might wrap up for today you know it's.

been a long episode you know we've been. through some you know we've been through. some moments we didn't know about there. were coming we persevered. you know we stayed in it you know it's. that I think it's that Dustin Poirier. technique you know we just you just stay. in it you know and we don't be too hard. on ourselves Jake it will be too hard on. yourself down and rehab you know you. went through detox and you're doing it. you're doing it and it's it's your.

journey man you're doing it you know. what he got the girl trying to shut down. the vagina you know the hurva Jimmy. John's they're closing early you know no. free smells over here they shutting down. and people are making choices you know. I'm choosing to you know trying to get. back off the pornography so now I got I. think maybe four days three days and I'm. back you know I'm back.

that's the beauty of each day you kind. of get a chance to start new each time. ah but but I'm just I'm happy to be back. here with you with you guys in the. studio and you know appreciate you Nick. for being here with me today you know. like I know it you know it wasn't easy. and I'm sorry if I was rude if I didn't. handle myself super well you handle. yourself fine I'm not feeling great. about the mistake but it's all we can do. is move on man and it's all we can do.

man and everything's working out the way. it's supposed to everything's gonna be. okay and I say that to myself really. okay sometimes I need to hear it. but yeah man such a fun weekend I would. recommend anybody go to UFC fight I. recommend anybody go see Aerosmith what. do you think Nick oh yeah if you do both. one night. oh my go to heaven I go directly to. heaven dude do not pass Sara's house do.

not collect any vagine you know cuz. ain't serving it over there anymore. alright you guys be good to yourselves. man you deserve it I know that and I. hope you do we'll leave out actually the. same way we came in with this man. Jameson flood every night. [Music].

[Music]. [Applause]. [Music]. every night by Jameson flood.

[Music]. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].

we made it. [Music]. you.