That Lord Portal | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #443

we've got some new merch items to tell. you about the be good to yourself crew. neck and teal. it's frosty and we got the new hoodie in. Bittersweet plus we've got the root beer. T-shirts from the uh root beer cartoon. all that and more at Theo vonstore.com. oh baby. oh dang look at the baby it's so tiny.

is so tiny. God I remember that song remember that. from church. oh look at the babies. [Music]. dude on one time I went over to this. I don't know if it was Japanese or. Chinese or.

it was some knees. that's all I'm gonna say. it was some knees it was Asian it was. you know what I'm saying you could damn. you could throw a pot of rice in this. church and hit an Asian. they probably had unlimited Asians in. there. you know it looked like uh. it looked like a um. it looked like a kind of an asiany.

asiany. Asian. Asian thing spot Place Asian. it was Asian in there and ah. and I remember the first time I'd ever. heard a batch of Asians like that sing a. um Church hymn. you know I think they were. I don't know if they were first. generation or not or I'm not sure what.

generation they were they were. some of them had the. the beat you know the little. some Asian people though if they get. real old they get that catfish hair. coming out of them. and you could get you know you put a. damn worm in front of one of them no. damn you know. they'll jump right out there damn kimono. they'll jump right out there damn Church. pajamas you know what I'm saying they. don't. you put a spinner bait or something you. throw a chicken liver in front of a.

you know you got them catfish Asians. baby they're lurch. the alerts they got that you know. they got that last bit of karate left in. and Manila you know. because it you know. a lot of humans as they get older they. you cross with an animal at a certain. point. a lot of humans cross with an animal and. for a lot of Asian. for a lot of Asian that's catfish.

you see that guy you know. but yeah I'd never been to a church. before. I had seen. um Asians. multiplication doing uh singing church. hymns. and it was pretty cool man it just shows. you that. um. that everybody can sing you know and. that there's a that everybody no matter. what ethnicity or culture.

that they all can sing uh songs of faith. and have you know and be excited and. stuff like that and be at church I. remember I can't I can't remember the. song now but it was like uh do you see. the baby. do you see the baby. and they had a big screen in there and. if they'd have a picture of a uh. you know the three wise man going to get.

uh Jesus Christ out of the. sand castle so. anyway what I'm trying to tell you is. Happy Mother's Day. I want to say that out there to every. type of mother every. every mother. there's a lot of you there's a lot of. you listening right now. and you're a mother you got something. you know. there's no other that's how I mean.

that's God's peephole baby. that's how God looks out into the world. through a mother. that I mean you are the you are the. liaison. between. you know you're the on ramp between the. Lord. and Earth. you got that on ramp. you got that thorough fire.

you know you got you know. you got that yum tunnel on you. and that's how God but God that's how. God serves them that's how he serves the. world. you know you're a woman's body a woman's. however they say it out there in some of. these other continents the vain yeah.

that's how the you know. that's how that that that that that. that's how the Lord sir you know. that's how he just. puts people on earth. that's God's last hand that's his last. that's his that's how he reaches out. into the world. through a woman through a mother. that's really fascinating.

if I told you there was a portal right. say I come up to you. you're sitting somewhere you're having a. sandwich or something you're having a. little. cut a meat cut up uh. cheese. you know you're having a cut of meat cut. of cheese two breads. you know what it is a sandwich. say you're having that you're sitting on. a little river bank or something I come. up to you. I say buddy.

um. I'm gonna tell you where there's a. portal. where you can go into another Realm. you'd be you'd be there in a heartbeat. well that's what that's what a mother. mother that's the only way. the only way. to get from the brain of the of God. of the of the powers that be.

of Mother Nature and father time the. only portal. is through a dang. woman a mother. or this [ __ ] as some people call her I. don't you know I don't say that. but anyway I just want to yeah I want to. wish everybody a Happy Mother's Day you. know um. you know sometimes I think that uh.

uh people are just ideas they're like. like what if God had an idea right and I. say God in the ethereum in the you can. whatever God you want. it can be everybody I have my you you. can have your own God. um. but I think of people sometimes as like. an idea of God like say you have an idea. write an idea kind of comes in it comes. into like it comes out of kind of.

nowhere right. like if you have an idea in your head. it comes out of nowhere. and some some ideas there they do they. they stick around they. they turn into something. you know some ideas they make a. difference they some ideas really get. turned into something and can adjust the. world can. um. can change things can adjust a fan can.

adjust something small or as big as the. whole world you know ideas they can. you don't know how big an idea can be or. how far an idea can go right. if we have an idea. so sometimes I think that humans they're. just ideas. of God really you know. it's like we show up into existence. we have a purpose sometimes sometimes we.

don't. sometimes we evaporate and disappear. early you know. sometimes we stay around for a long time. sometimes we change our environment. uh and sometimes we we we can change the. world you know. so I don't know if this is making sense. but. I feel like life it's like being a lot. it's like we're almost like an idea of. God. like if we have an idea it comes into.

fruition we do things with it some of. them are really helpful some of them. kind of come and go. but if God when God has an idea that's. us that's a person we're his idea we're. like ideas of God we come into life we. meander. some sometimes we have an effect on. things sometimes we don't. and uh. and there we go. so. not sure if that makes sense but um.

that's something that's just been going. on in my head uh I'm grateful to be here. with you today. um I'm grateful to be thinking about. mothers. I'm grateful to be thinking about. mothers. I got to see my own mother last weekend. in Phoenix Arizona. she came out there and. and we had a nice time. you know it's been a long journey with. my own mother uh getting to know her and.

uh since we didn't have a connection. when I was young getting to have a. connection as adults. um. you know I talk a lot about that I'm not. going to go into that right now but it. was awesome to get to see her. um. we got to do the largest show we'd ever. done at the Arizona uh Financial Center. dang bro. dang.

dude. warm up the Asians baby because I'll. sing about that oh the baby he's here. oh look at him. um that was magical I want to thank. everybody for coming out to that it's a. different type of energy man you're out. there on the stage and you feel a little. God I feel so little out there.

in a club I feel normal size regular. size six foot 182. one arm a little bit shorter than the. other. neither arm. that long. is neither law a medium arms it's. nothing you'd notice but if you know you. know. um.

what was I talking about dang. oh in that big in that in that vast of a. space I feel like I think I almost feel. like a bird could come down and just. pick me up off the stage. you know it's almost like you feel like. the mouse you know somebody sees a mouth. they shine a light on it. and that's what it's like in there. because it's big it's dark there's a. light on you. and I'm like man a Big Bird's gonna come.

and damn get me. God I don't want that. um. I don't want some big dirty bird picking. me up but uh. but that was incredible just thank you. guys for just being a part of my life. for uh wanting to come and see me one. and two uh wanting to let me see you. um. you know or it's just I'm just glad we. all get to spend our time together and.

it's just been really it's been cool and. I know a lot of people they want to get. to interact more. um. you know and we do what we can. um but I just want to thank everybody. for coming out we did one show that was. in a circle and that's damn confu I mean. it's like damn bro. the whole time I feel like I'm. performing and asking people for. directions you know and nobody knows. where I mean it just it was in the round. at the celebrity theater and this place.

looked like a uh. it looked like a White Castle. but like the like the the White Castle. like where. you know where. white lived or whatever you know it. looked like the last White Castle but. like the biggest greatest White Castle. it looked like a CEO or the CEO of White. Castle would live this place it's in a. just a big parking lot and there's just. a damn Castle in it but it's just a low.

cast it was just like a short Castle. it's a low Castle just damn short. castling. so if you got it that you know this. Castle it's like a. you know short Castle. you're like damn what is this. but thank you I I had never done a thing. in the circle like that so it's damn I'm. damn dizzy. you know halfway through the jokes I. gotta hold on the stool or something. uh. it reminded me of the Gravitron you know.

when you go to the fair as a child. you know where I lived you'd go to the. fair and uh. and. you get on the Gravitron and we go over. there a day early for 50 cents they let. you get on a ride. and you were experimental you didn't. realize it. you were a damn lab rat they were. testing to make sure this [ __ ] worked. and. make sure there was no lice on the. equipment or whatever.

because that God damn boy you get on one. wrong ride you itch for a month cuz. I mean I swear to God. my I have one but he had two nipples he. itched one of them [ __ ] right off bro. that's how bad he got uh. body lice. he's down in one damn nipple coz. because the lice they need a place to.

meet up at on the body. you know they're just like they're just. like a group of white people at a um. Music Festival. they every now and then they gotta meet. up somewhere and check on everybody. where's Rhonda. how's Ricky oh damn where's Donna. oh well Tammy and them left they left. they're gone. so uh.

the lies are like that they want a place. to meet up and God forbid it because. it's your Weiner or uh. or something like that. or enter weiner that cooter. that end that eyed dog baby that end. weiner yeah you know what oh yeah y'all. got the hand winner don't ya hey let it. let me see that in when uh.

I can't remember that Asian Church yeah. but thank God they met up on his nipple. dog and ate that [ __ ] because you get. them body lice but um. anyway what I'm trying to tell you guys. is. oh yeah it was like the damn Gravitron.

like the shape of the place and the. Gravitron you'd get over there a day. early to the uh to the parish Fair the. county fair. and you pay 50 cents. and let you get on the ride and the. Gravitron you laid back against the wall. and the whole thing would spin. the damn thing was spinning. and it used all the power in the. community damn your mom's blender would. damn shut down seven blocks away. so this [ __ ] could Spain.

and it was you could hear your you know. the dad your dad works at the factory. that [ __ ] shut down. everybody's having power outages and. right there in the middle of the. fairgrounds the Gravitron is spinning. there and then you can't even it you get. pushed against the side it's so much. inside you can't close your mouth or. eyes you're just like yeah I'm having. fun.

and then the guy right running it he'd. be in the middle he was always this rock. and roll dude and he'd be like do you. wanna ride. and one person you could barely the the. centrifugal force was so strong you. could barely get your arm up a little. bit like. and then he damned that guy would show. you his damn weiner every time. that guy was a damn. he was just a visual pedophile that guy.

he'd show you that sprout. that body Branch homie you know what I'm. talking about. that nut snake baby that wiener. who damnedest and you couldn't you. couldn't close your eyes or anything. everybody's mouth and eyes were just. wide open because you were spinning on. the Gravitron. and he just he you know he didn't do. anything but he'd show you that [ __ ].

I don't know what we're talking about. happy Mother's Day. that's what we're trying to say here. and we're grateful. to a lot of beautiful mothers out there. we we love you moms and um. and thank you for giving us this life. whatever our life is. now the tough part is when you're not. enjoying your life you know uh. uh to then still find that gratitude to.

your mother. but you know there's no. there's I don't know when it happened in. time that we started to think that life. while it is extremely unique. right it's extremely unique it's so rare. you know Neil deGrasse was on here. and he was talking about the Rarity that. you exist. the odds that you exist.

I mean you may not you may you may hate. math. but you are math you were a equate you. are a. carry the one to carry the one million. the odds. that we that you that are that any one. of us exists. they're astronomical. or astronomical. but somewhere along the lines we you.

know we started to think I guess that. life was supposed to be a comfort a. comfortable thing. and I don't know when that happened I. think that happened for me too. you know and maybe some of that is just. an American societal uh. idea. since we live in a and and and have. lived. historically and one of the more. comfortable countries.

you know where we've had a lot of. um blessings and Gifts you know we've. had a lot of. we've had a lot of cash and prizes we've. had a lot of. you know we have water we have roofs we. have uh food you know we have our needs. met. um. that we started to just think that life. uh was is supposed to be. a comfortable Journey.

but if you look out through time man it. is not it's never really been that. people have battled plagues. lightning. um. what else. AIDS. um.

flash flooding. and. dangerous animals baby all of that. anyway I get in my head sometimes that. it's this com it's got It's it's. supposed to be this comfortable thing as. opposed to that it's supposed to be this. journey it's supposed to be this. experience. uh that doesn't really have any. guarantees you know.

um. and I wish I could look at life more. that way because I think I wouldn't uh I. might have I might I wouldn't be. I'd probably find less disappointment in. things if I looked at life more as like. okay here I am. on this journey. as opposed to. why isn't my life going a certain way.

it'd be more like. life. it was never promised to go a certain. way. it's just life. you know it's just like an idea it comes. along. it could. anything can happen to it. so I'm a little all over the place.

uh but. [Music]. I'll sit and tell you a story. [Music]. [Music].

thank you. I've been moving way too fast. [Music]. um yeah good to be here. uh thank you for being a part of my life. thank you for uh blessing me with your. time today and we are out here and we. are alive. and this is life.

this is what it is. you know if I can accept life on what it. is where it's at. then uh I'm in a match I'm in a much. better space usually. you know if I have to if I show up with. too many expectations. then I'm on a man. I'm always going to be. uh disappointed.

you know I'm always going to be. disappointed. but if I can get my if I can get myself. to be like okay let's see what's gonna. happen today let's see how it goes. oh it's going good oh it's going bad. it's not really going good or bad it's. just going. but when I start thinking too much it's. going like this it's going like that I.

need it to go like it's like. um. then I'm almost too attached to it. you know whereas if I can sit back and. just watch life kind of happen. and not overreact to it just recognize. it's always good that's a thing life. hadn't been tricking anybody. life's got two hands bruh. and it'll give you some bird see with. one and.

and it'll punch it down it'll punch you. in a [ __ ] neck with daughter. that's life. will hand you a couple little. um butterscotches bruh. with one hand and then while you sucking. on them mitts. hit you with the other hand. that's life. life has always done that. it's that butterscotch freaking bad boy. son.

it's a James J Brad utter scotch. that thing will it'll punch you while. you freaking enjoying some sugar. but if I so at a certain point I gotta. know that I gotta know hey look this is. what life does. but if I'm a so attached to it then I'm. gonna do then I'm gonna be riding like. that too. if I put my saddle on every moment. but if I can just kind of sit in the.

middle and know. it's going to be high it's going to be. low. mama's gonna ride her bro I'm a rider. then I don't get caught on the waves and. the crevasses. I'm just chumming the boat man yeah it's. gonna be tough here it's gonna be. untoughed here. let's enjoy the sailing huh let's do. some smooth sailing. um better help I want to let you know. that this episode is brought to you by.

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month that's better. h-e-l-p.com slash Theo. summer's coming it's coming fast dang it. might have already came on yeah. are you ready to unveil your Beach bod. and I'm not but manscaped is here to. ensure your body is ready for the wild I. just use their Tremor and just trimmed. up my uh chest and belly so made enough. got enough hair to make a dang Mitten.

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they got it all get 20 off in free. shipping. with code Theo at manscaped.com that's. 20 off and free shipping with the code. t-h-e-o at manscaped.com. trim your hair do it well do it right. manscaped. not trying to preach at you just trying. to share some things you know um I've. been doing a little more meditation. recently and it's been allowing me to.

have a little bit of space. from uh the attachment to every moment. and that has been nice it's been nice. even just a little bit of space has been. nice what's going on with you guys. um I want to thank everybody that's came. out over there in Phoenix I'll be seeing. everybody in New York this week New York. City. um we're trying to put some other shows. on the books we got Edmonton. is out there uh new date sets up now our.

new date uh it's gonna be outdoors so no. idea what that's going to be like. no idea. um. but we'll see when we get there that's. what I'm thinking. uh. what's been happening uh what's been. happening with you. I want to get some voicemails from you. guys other dates we're looking at. Australia and the uh UK we're looking to.

try to figure those out right now. um. so man I can't even believe it to get to. go back to some of those beautiful. places and. oh. just thank you so much thank you for. um. wanting me to come. you know. uh physically you know. and uh or you know to show up you know. I'm just I'm not talking about.

EJ EJ e jacking. I'm talking about just showing up and. doing work. um. what's going on man on boy. happy Mother's Day you know we had a lot. of different we had a lot of different. mothers in my neighborhood. foreign. my God. she would God damn I mean good God.

my mom I think she [ __ ] slept on the. top of a violin that [ __ ] was high. strong. she was good damn. my mother had that kind of if my my. mother she was she was tight she was. wound tight. if she turned her neck one of her arms. would go up to beat the [ __ ] out of. somebody. see that's just how she was built just. like one of those old toys you get like.

as a kid back in the day they'd have a. toy and if you turn like if you moved. its leg. then then the arm would it was double. it was ambidextrous. so you move you know you moved its neck. one of its arms would go up. and you moved its leg and then the other. arm it would just you couldn't move one. part without another apartment that's. how my mom was. she just had she was wound up.

if she sneezed she beat the [ __ ] out of. something she just you know she it was. just my mother was wound up boy they had. all kinds of moms in our neighborhood. we had this one lady she would she drank. boy. she drank and she ate uh. Christmas candies year round. she ate Christmas candies year round his.

[ __ ] was eating Christmas Candice. year-round boy year round. and first if that ain't the most sinful. thing seeing somebody. suck on a piece of Christmas candy dude. in this damn June what's going on God. the devil's out here selling sugar. and she was naughty bro she had a Trans. Am I remember she had like a sports car. and she would she drink a lot.

she would drink a lot and I remember. she'd lay out on the clock she would lay. on the hood of that car dude she'd dry. she'd go drive it a couple times and. then she'd lay on the hood of it while. it was still warm this right does. three Apartments down from us. she'd lay on that [ __ ]. and she would just kind of just how like. she'd say I want you what would you say. I want.

she'd be like yeah. and then she drank a little take a sip. of her drink it was usually a uh. Corona. and she'd say I want you to hear me feel. and she would just yeah. she would howl a little.

God boy. and her damn legs would look all wet and. I mean I don't even know what was going. on. God that lady was. she was [ __ ] Wild Boy. and somebody she said that she had. barrettes on her uh. uh on the hair outside of her cooter. foreign.

laying on that warm engine. um what else we had another we had some. this my buddy had a thick mom she went. down thick boy God damn dude. she looked like she made out of damn. bread you know. like when you saw her you just wanted to. damn just put some jelly on that [ __ ]. you just want to damn put some jelly on. that batch and enjoy yourself God damn.

boy I put that [ __ ] in the oven son. and her their whole house smelled like. biscuits. and they had a mixed child over there. too. and the mama Shelley wore kind of. Hospital clothes even though she wasn't. in in in in the hospital. I guess she was just ready because it. eventually they took her in and she. passed away.

she had uh blood pressure or something I. don't know. just them salt in her blood or something. damn biscuit blood or something that. happened to her she was God damn boy. she was beautiful. and then they had another buddy of mine. had a his mom was she was God she was. beautiful. she was beautiful man I'd go over there. and I'd hide in their clothes hamper.

I had to hide in there. then I would smell her uh. brass ears that's God I would just. I wanted her to be my mother. I would put my I would get those things. and put them on my just right I would. just. just huffing cups baby I just wanted to. just inhale.

the scent of that woman until it landed. in my. DNA man I wanted her to be my mother. that much I remember that. I remember that. um. I can barely see these sunglasses are. damn they want it all to stop son. everything. but let's get a couple of uh calls that. came in here the hotline is always.

985-664-9503. um I do want to update you that me and. David Spades are still trying to get a. movie made which would be insane boy. I don't know if that'll happen we're. trying. uh a lot of these Studios and stuff. they're not giving it they don't. there's no. um. we haven't had any luck on the. traditional route.

you know I think there's a big they. don't want to see uh. something like that they don't want to. see that kind they don't want two guys. they don't just don't want I don't think. two white guys having a good time. to be real honest with you. and some of that might be a little jaded. but I can't understand why. they wouldn't jump at the opportunity. for for the film I mean I well I mean I. don't have a lot of experience I don't. have any experience let's be honest with.

you boy I don't have any experience. hey you got experience I don't I don't. have any and the baby came from the sky. oh God. um. but this is David down Spades bro call. us Spades of Spades baby that's him. that's Tommy Boy's brother dog. so that's Joe damn dirt bro his parents.

left him at the Grand Canyon and now. he's a movie star. so that [ __ ] just makes me wanna [ __ ]. juggle my own dick buddy. so I don't know we're trying to find an. alternative method to get it made. I might hit up a rich friend or. something and see if they'll put some. financing I I don't know but I just. wanted to update you on that.

um. what else I watch at UFC this weekend I. enjoyed it. I was I was bummed that Bryce Mitchell. didn't fight. but you know you got to take care of. yourself that's important. and uh. anyway as always the hotline. 985-664-9503. thank you. it's up for you Gage from Pittsburgh. what's up Gage in uh Pittsburgh as well.

I like it I've been there got pink eye. over there. you know what I'm saying got a little. bit of downtime in my uptime you feel me. onward brother. I'm having my third kid in August I got. two girls already I'm hoping for a boy. doing a gender reveal party. I want to know how would Theo Vaughn do. it. gang gang baby. praise brother I appreciate you asking. me and congratulations on that third. buddy congratulations on that bringing. something into the world an idea.

a human idea. um. I think this is how I would do it. I'd get you these mommies and daddy out. there get you mommy and daddy right your. parents or her parents. I get you a four-wheeler okay. and not run you a uh I'd run you a thing. of rope. from the back of the four-wheeler to. each one of the parents.

to their pants to the front of their. pants. and they're wearing pants only each. parent pants only no wonders. no wonders. and then you tie it whichever it is male. or female if it's male the new baby you. tie it you tie the knot tight onto the. front of your your dad's pants. and if it's female you tie it tight onto. the front of your mom's pants.

and whichever one it isn't you leave it. loose but you still make it look like. it's up by their waist right you tuck it. into their waist or whatever so nobody. would know the difference. and then. you say okay one two three male or. female or whatever they do you know let. me see you know move that. whatever gender whatever they say right. and. uh let's see the winner whatever you. know or whatever this I don't know how.

you guys do it right and that's a crotch. okay who is it the baby is the Beauty. World. so here's what I'm saying man is that. then you explore that four-wheeler and. whoever it is if it's male or female it. rips the pants off of the adult. now that's some [ __ ] [ __ ] right there. boy. that's a so then you're really revealing. somebody's gender.

you're revealing two genders you're. saying hey the baby's gonna be this and. we're also making sure that your parents. are appropriately crossed by God. because imagine well you ripped him uh. pantalones off mom. and she got that hog on her boy. she got the that little worker boy. she got that little semen snout on her.

boy everybody'd be damn shocked that's a. double gender reveal. then she's gonna have a new. granddaughter and you're gonna have a. new. father. so that's how I would do it man but what. do I know. nothing. nothing. all right let's take another call right. here hey Theo my name is Riley I just. got a simple question what do you think. of my car it's a 2012 Suzuki SX4. hatchback uh that's all I wanted to know.

gang gang gang baby thank you Riley for. calling in on that Auto. and um. I don't know fiscally I don't know much. about it you know you need to look up in. Kelley Blue Book. or get you on the website or something. admins or something I don't know. you know we used to have that Kelly Blue. Book and we look on there. and see oh wow my car is a piece of [ __ ]. I remember realizing wasn't even in. there. the value of this damn wasn't even in.

there God. but um I love that it's a Kia Sorrento. huh is that what you said. what do you think of my car it's a 2012. Suzuki SX4 hatchback okay that's all I. wanted to know Suzuki gang gang. yeah we used to have a brother by us. that grew up by us. and they called them Suzuki leg. and uh. I don't know why I don't know what. happened or what it something happened.

to his leg I think he'd. um. well I know what happened his brother it. burned down uh their garage his brother. had locked him in a garage or something. burned it down. and part of his leg got grilled out a. little and for some reason they uh. they call him Suzuki leg over there. I don't know I don't know why. I'll have to go back and ask somebody. but I remember that but yeah look that's. a beautiful car you said 2012 2012 was a.

great year man. that was when. uh the Russians. uh ended that they had a beef and issue. with. the UK remember they wouldn't let the. beef in from the UK. and that's when the Russians they in. they ended that uh is that an embargo. what is an embargo let me see. an embargo an official band or trade on.

trade yep the Russians that's 2012 they. ended that embargo that beef embargo. that they had that meat embargo going on. they didn't want that beef coming in. from uh Britain. they didn't want that Bread is made. and so they ended it but at that point. it was unlimited Russian beef was. allowed in in uh you know unlimited. British beef was allowed in Russia and. people were damn [ __ ] throwing loins. at each other just you'd see a man just.

beating his wife with a damn London. broil. over there in Russia. you know just God just. you know just whipping it just you'd see. somebody whipping their child with a. damn back strap. you know it was damn beautiful. um. but that's yeah because I used to work. in meat I used to do door-to-door meat. work uh. I used to do door-to-door meat work we.

would do. you know where you'd knock on people's. door and sell them to me right there. and people want to be people look people. there's something about me. people want it. people want it people want meat baby. they want it. and if you show up at somebody's house. and you're like guess what and they're. like what you're like I got some [ __ ]. meat right here some a decent amount of.

people want it. now some vegans will call you a queer or. whatever. you know. but that's them. um. anyway sorry I'm rambling man let's get. back into it uh but yeah I used to do. door-to-door meat it was truck to table. right there and we would sell it to. people right there uh. you know it was that you know. it was freezer to table I don't know. what it was but it was we'd sell that.

[ __ ] right out the truck. in different neighborhoods you hit you. know you'd knock and tell them you had. different stuff ribs bruh if you was in. some of the urban neighborhood you'd be. like hey guess what. we ribbon around over here you know. I'm driving that rib Rover you feel me. we ribbed up who want these ribs so. praise God happy Mother's Day. you know the sun is it's God it's it's. violent look at what the sun can do burn.

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she you turned right into me it was more. of a j and I was at the end of the J. and I got just jacked up that's what. happened. if you're ever injured. in a car accident or injured at all and. it's some type of accident you can check. out Morgan and Morgan. and Morgan is America's largest injury. Law Firm they have over 100 offices. Nationwide and more than 800 lawyers.

with over 15 billion dollars were. covered for clients Morgan and Morgan. has a proven track record of fighting. till you get your full and fair. compensation. submitting an injury claim with Morgan. and Morgan is so easy it's more like. using an app than hiring a lawyer. with Morgan Morgan you can submit a. claim without ever having to leave the. couch and you might not be able to heck. if you're hurt if you're ever injured. you can check out Morgan and Morgan. their fee is free unless they win.

for more information go to. forthepeople.com. this past weekend. or dial pound law that's pound 529 from. your cell phone that's for the. people.com. this past weekend or pound 529 from your. cell phone this is a paid advertisement. all right let's take another call here. here we go.

hey Steve man. um I just wanted to call and say man. it's been rough I've had a pretty rough. couple years and. um I've been watching you for a long. time and you're you're just hilarious. man and I just find you so funny and I. was watching some clips on on YouTube. and one of them was you just saying that. you're proud of me and that was the. first time I've heard that in a long. time so I just wanted to say thank you. and I just wanted to know kind of what.

you do for support how do you get. support how do you make yourself feel. better I just want to know thank you oh. thanks for the uh for the message. brother. um. yeah you know you might be like me you. might be somebody that didn't hear that. when they needed to when they were young. you know and that's not self-pity I'm. not like oh boo hoo but the long-term. effects of those things are very real. they're very real man. they're very real and um.

and I'm sorry you're having to deal with. these things later in life. but you're not the only person. you know it's a lot of us that are. dealing with this we kind of late. bloomers you know. um. and it makes me angry that I have to. deal with I have to deal I have to. meander around these things now which. are things that should have been done. for me as a child it makes me angry. right. but I have to take some action and.

that's what we do we go to we do therapy. we do different processes. um you can uh do 12-step you can do. Ayahuasca there's different things you. can do to help you uh fill in that space. and learn. um and relearn the things you should. have learned as a child or should have. known and felt as a child. uh me for support. you know this podcast really in some.

ways has been has been the one thing. that's made me show up for my life every. week. you know if there's one thing I've done. in my life that I've committed to and. I've done it. it's this. honestly. so this has been a great thing my. brother has been really great for me. my brother has been really.

man. you know I don't know where I would be. without my brother man. I mean he had a really tough time when. we were kids he had a really tough time. and uh. you know he uh. and you know.

um. and I was the younger brother you know. so I came in this need and you know. you know and probably what little he was. getting. that he needed as a child I came in and. cut that in half. you know uh. but he is just a really interesting and. resilient and. um.

and powerful force in my life I go to. him a lot we've had a our relationship. has built as I've gotten older and as. he's got as we've grown up and. it has been a blessing man. you know my brother's the first person. in my life that I ever felt like love me. just unconditionally unconditionally. he chose to he just. you know he chose uh that.

for me I had an ex-girlfriend that loved. me unconditionally too actually. um I wasn't ready to be. uh. but good you know a decent husband or or. decent boyfriend but. um but my brother I go to my brother. who else do I go to. he really is the one that um. you know he kind of he's my you know in.

some ways he turned into my father too. you know he had to fill in a lot of. roles that we didn't have. um. and he did it for himself first and then. he's been able to extend and help me uh. when I've needed it so. so that has been a just really man. that's been a blessing thank you for. asking. all right we got another video call that. came in here some of these are video. and for all of these you can go to. theovan.com and you can um there's three. ways to communicate with the podcast you.

can text. um. those are where we just kind of uh. respond to sometimes. um you can send audio and video and uh. we listen and watch those. um and some of those we'll use for. episodes uh thank you. hi Theo my name is Ashley and. that. is my beautiful Kane Corso named Abraham.

okay and hello Ashley thank you for uh. checking in here nice to see you and you. got that animal too you got that uh. you got that dark that uh that dark. animal in the back seat onward my. question is about uh whether or not Theo. has any words of encouragement or just. thoughts about having to re-home a pet. um I'll actually be moving from South. Carolina to Covington Louisiana. in June so uh I have to re-home her I.

can't take her with me just Logistics. wise so I wanted to know what your. thoughts were about that. well thank you yeah look I I think if. you're gonna bring an animal down to. Louisiana we'll we that's good. it's an animal place man. name 70 animals. I bet you a lot of them are right there. in Louisiana if you do. um. yeah I mean I grew up in the Stray.

animal belt over there and so I don't. know a ton about dogs I believe in them. I've seen them my whole life you know um. the area I grew up in a lot of stray. animals I mean we had stress everything. was stray. I mean from the damn Birds to. uh this hell this one family down the. street. you catch the damn that daughter. drinking not the ditch uh. but we had a lot of stray animals come.

through. you know and so I don't have. the first time I ever saw a dog in a. home it was it blew my mind. it was a beautiful blonde-haired. blue a brown eyed animal oh my God damn. that thing's fine as hell boy. my thing's fine as hell nothing [ __ ]. grill that thing up over at the Asian. Church you feel me oh don't you love us. Lord we love you.

[Music]. what was I talking about. yeah so I don't have much experience on. rehoming animals but. but it's obvious you care about the. animal you're gonna find it a good home. and I think just welcome to Covington. Louisiana. you know it's a great place it's a warm. place. um there's a lot of good people. uh it's a good place to raise a child.

it's a good place to be a mom. um there's a strong sense of community. over there and uh I'm sure you will like. it it's a great place to have an. imagination. and I'm thankful to that place uh for. just giving me a tapestry to be on. as a. as I pass through time here yeah I don't. know we had a stray animal I mean I got. bit by you know I mean damn I got bit by. so many [ __ ] dogs God.

them [ __ ] would [ __ ] bite me I. thought there was something in me I. thought I had a damn pork loin in me or. something. you know. I thought you know God was hiding bacon. in my ass or something them dogs would. [ __ ] latch on to me. so anyway good luck to you and. congratulations on the move. all right let's take one more call and. um. yeah let's see what we got as always the. hotline is 985-664-9503. [Music].

um. here we go. my name is Danielle. I live on the west side of Michigan. um Great Lakes great times that murder. Mitten yeah baby that murder Mitten. that's it if you want to get murdered. and you want to hear Kid Rock blasting. in the background while you do it you. got to go to Michigan buddy. and enjoy yourself onward no. um but anyways I just got pulled in a.

little early uh to this you know program. that I'm participating in and I just. wanted to touch base I was listening to. you you know on my Drive-In this morning. and recently you've just been talking a. lot about like taking time for yourself. like you know prioritizing like life. moves real quickly and um. you know that that's that's true. and uh I've recently made the decision. to.

um you know take some time off for. myself and and get some therapy and some. medication to kind of battle the dark. arts in my heart and my soul in my mind. uh. you know. um. we're out here man we're doing it and. you know I'm a career person I'm a mom. I'm a wife you know I got a lot of. responsibility but you know at the end. of the day I had to make the decision to.

uh. help myself you know uh because what's. the cost if you don't right so. amen. Danielle thank you for the call and. happy Mother's Day to you. um. and yeah I'm uh. you know mothers are the real. they're the real worst they they're the. you know mother they get it all.

they get they're there you know it's a. lot of. they're the toll booth. they're the on-ramp. there's a it's a lot of responsibility. you're running around with a damn portal. between the heavens and existence and. the world. yeah. this I'm sure it is stressful.

dear God I can't even make it through a. damn toll booth if I don't know the. change right I [ __ ] lose my [ __ ]. so to be carrying a you know a portal. to be in everything that is scary you're. like that you're the Greyhound station. of the Lord. and you know how much things get left at. a greyhound. all kind of this and that and old jacket.

somebody left a damn uh. uh. oven mid over there and half of milk. dude I saw a sister drinking a can of. damn Similac one time. calling somebody a homo on the phone. once at Philadelphia over there by the. bust by the Greyhound so it's all kind. of [ __ ]. you know and when being a mom being all. that. there's a lot coming at you you're a.

you're the. you're the nucleus really of the family. really in a lot of ways a lot passing. through you. and there's a lot that's been going on. in history you know I think so many. things happened over the past centuries. Wars and battles. and love and loss. and only now in the present Society. really are we really at a place where. we've come up kind of for air.

where all of our needs are kind of met. where we can. look at our emotions see what's going on. how we feel what's happening. and. it makes perfect sense to take time and. clean your mirror. so I'm proud of you. yeah look even NASCAR they put them they.

do nine laps and pulling [ __ ] in the. shop. and those are the most greatest cars on. earth. so it makes sense that we take time and. take care of ourselves it makes sense. that we find ways to be happy and take. care of ourselves so I'm proud of you I. don't think there's anything uh. yeah look this is your time it's mother. this Mother's we it's your time.

so yeah you take care of yourself take. all the time that you need. um. yeah it's important we have to take care. what yeah if you don't have yourself. what do you have. sometimes I find I'm I'm hurrying for. what. I've always felt like that in my life of. God I heard get this done so I can but. there's not a thing.

there's never a thing that I'm hurt it's. an invis it's like somebody's fired a. gun at a starting line a long time ago. and I've just been going. so take time. take care of yourself play girl we doing. good what else not much dude shave my. chest the other day feeling okay about. that a little nervous about it. uh. uh you know my tits don't look exactly. like I would like but that's God that's.

what he's doing. you know one of my tits looks like a. little bit of like a melt like somebody. put a scoop of ice cream but it's just. starting to melt a little. so. but hey. who don't love a little bit of sweet. cream can I have some. um I want to thank you guys. I want to thank you mothers for being. mothers. um we're gonna go out this kind of a sad. song. but I'm used to listen to this song A.

lot when I needed to process feelings of. uh. of connection that I didn't have with my. own mother. I would listen to this not all the time. but I would listen when I really was in. a moment was like okay I need to Pro you. know when I could feel some of those. feelings come on I would listen to this. song because it would help me process. them. and it would help me get those out of my. uh system you know. um.

so let's listen to that now this is Evan. bartel's the devil God and me uh Happy. Mother's Day to all of the mothers out. there. um we love you. and uh and thank you for what you do. and um. thank you. be good to yourselves you know that baby. game. [Music].

now this is an emo one. so if you don't like that emote and go. on on about yourself nobody's keeping. you here. gang baby. Evan Bartels man. [Music]. love y'all baby. [Music].

this is a great big world waiting right. outside. [Music]. my mother. Mary is my voice. [Music]. we the people have that choice. [Music].

though I did not try my best. mother may I slipped away.