Stavros Halkias | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #545
today's guest is a stand-up comedian uh. he's a podcaster he's an actor he has a. new film called let's start a cult that. he both co-wrote and starred in uh he's. got his own podcast stav's world and. he's one of the hottest young comics in. America um I'm grateful for his time. today um I'm grateful for his honesty. always uh no one else I'd rather be. sitting down with than Mr stavos Halas.
I know. me and I will find a song I will. [Applause]. sing hey hey Whoa man wow man good to. see yeah you look so slick huh thanks. man yeah going with a slick back. wow you like it bro yeah little.
aerodynamic looks very I'm trying to. think of what it even makes me feel like. I love it explore that bro like a. principal maybe yeah maybe principal at. a very unique. school we don't give grades man yeah. yeah yeah yeah you don't give grades. there's um [ __ ] I need. some. socks dude I think it's a good look no.
I got you can't throw ankles out dude. you can't I mean I feel homeless I. just I just felt some wind hit. him and my first thought was I've worked. too hard yeah yeah yeah sure sure sure I. got the thighs out I give out the whole. leg for free brother yeah but you have. good legs man thank you bro I appreciate. that yeah and do a lot of um people from. where you or your culture have good legs. huh I think so yeah I think so it's a. leg cuz even the pillers um yeah it's.
like that's a part of it huh there's a. lot of Hills Greece is very. hilly I think people are The Hills Have. thighs. dude over there they really do I think. that helps yeah um cuz you see a man. like that it's like this is a structural. Man sound sound I am structurally sound. you're not shaking me you're not shaking. me no you won't you're not like that. Building 47 or whatever no no no no no. or whatever that is was it building.
seven which one is it that keeps falling. down seven tower Tower seven Tower seven. yeah yeah the one that we can't exactly. explain or something yeah some guys like. oh it's a great time of just get Block. over to drop this. one like all right all right I see what. you're doing man wouldn't have happened. if it was made out of helenic marble. yeah out of some strong baklava some Bak. you can't shake baklava either oh as far. as desserts go very structurally sound.
structurally sound you're right you're. right um stavos hos dude you have a new. uh movie the movie is uh H uh let's. start a c let's start a cult yes sir and. is it kind of your new movie is it kind. of like um is like what's the is it a 12. Years a Slave type of thing is it a like. a Lincoln Lawyer like what's the those. are your two references what's the AR of. it you know 12 Years a Slave which is. like a serious slavery drama that won.
Oscars and The Lincoln Lawyer just a. middle of the road Matthew mccon. entertaining movie I think it's which. they're both good movies by the way ly. pretty good slave was a little long they. could have done it couldbe could have. done it in eight years n years. slave seven minute. slaves we didn't need to see all 12 of. the years yeah dude come on the last two. years it's like we kind of get how this. goes get it we get it um but yeah what's. the story arc you know like what what do.
we expect it yeah dude so it's it's way. less um way way smaller of a budget than. those two honestly the movie is I just. love dumbass comedies like the stuff we. grew up on like the Sandler you know. Spade Farley you know to will frell to. all that stuff that was just like silly. as [ __ ] good you know like the first. movie I was obsessed with was Billy. Madison right and just like goofy. technically a premise but it's like. would this ever happen in real life no.
but we just need it's there to just as. like a skeleton for jokes and let's get. goofy Let's Get Silly let's get a bunch. of funny people in it and that's what. this movie is dude it was like I just. wanted you know I wanted the opportunity. to make something that I loved and like. I I don't consider myself an actor I'm a. [ __ ] comic and comedy movies I think. are an extension of just like I'm not. trying to make a good ass movie I'm. trying to make a fun time 90 minutes and. you know I'm proud of it don't get me. wrong it's not [ __ ] dog [ __ ] like.
it's still yeah yeah but it's not like. Amistad or like um there was trying to. think something else I've seen recently. no. slavery I don't know what's going on. with your references sorry amadas maybe. no bridges over Madison County or. whatever like that sure sure I didn't. see that one um the bridge the terbia oh. you saw that one huh that's a child's. movie I saw that as a kid it's about a. it's a something happens to somebody I. remember I haven't seen I haven't seen. it since I was a child I is it like a. allegory for something wrong well.
someone's handicapped something and I. remember somebody was trying to do um. the life of Jesse Bridges to terbia and. Adolescent changes when he befriends. Leslie the class outside of the children. created imaginary world called tabia. which is inhabited by all manner ofical. so basically no it's not like that. either just it's not like the preach of. Thia yeah so okay so it's not like that. it's just fun dude and I think like. funny movie good comedy funny you turn. your brain off no lessons you're not. going to be a better you're not going to.
be a better or worse person you know. what I mean you're just going to have a. good time you're just you can get high. as [ __ ] you know what I mean like you. can you could make some popcorn you. won't miss plot points you might want to. go back and miss and see if you missed a. joke but you get the movie you know what. I mean the whole point is like the. basically the like bullet point is what. if a guy was so annoying his cult. committed suicide without him like they. left him out of the left him out of the. final ritual and then heed to start up.
his new his own cult and that's the like. and so I'm just I'm that guy I'm the. [ __ ] annoying idiot who's just like. you know with a heart of gold Classics. classic comedy [ __ ] and I just like you. know we meet a bunch of funny people we. have really funny comics in it Bobby. Kelly is in it for a little bit Tom Papa. is in it for a little bit um you know a. lot of really funny uh just like Wes. Haney who is the who co-wrote it with me. and and Ben kitnick it was basically. like me and my friends got a chance to. make a movie and I was like yeah [ __ ] it.
what the [ __ ] like no one no one lets. him no one lets uh no one lets me star. in a movie you know so you just got to. do it so yeah it's nice to have a movie. where it sounds like you just can just. go look at a movie go look at a movie. and the jokes are like I'm not I'm not. trying to make any commentary on. anything I'm just trying to make you. laugh and it's like that it has been. even some of my favorite movies like. towards the end they all kind of had. weird lessons or they just kind of got. like even 40-Year-Old Virgin it's. weirdly like an allegory for virginity.
and like find saving yourself from you. can read into a lot of those movies you. cannot read into this movie there is. nothing there is no there is no subtext. there is no it's a fat it's a lovable. fat guy getting into high Jinx for 89. minutes not even 90 you'll be out you'll. be out and if you fast forward to the. credits we get that to 87 and a half you. know talking about huh that's nothing. like your thick guy coming in short you.
know absolutely absolutely okay so I get. the movie and they we they need good. comedies it's like you need them it's. like you go to a thing now it's like. yeah some stuff it doesn't even make you. laugh you're like what is this about or. whatever and then like everybody at the. end is kind of like handicapped or. something like what is this you know. it's like Elliot gets a rainbow or. something like what is this it's not you. know and it's like the guy always has a. heart transplant but his new heart is um. like a yeah is like a Libertarian or.
something so now he's like I'm going to. kill myself cuz I would rather I would. rather die than have have a heart that's. against public school systems or. something you know no one will be. committing seppuku at the end of this. movie for their political point it's. called it's called homeschool heart that. movie it's a movie where somebody gets. AR transpl and that heart was a. homeschool teacher was a. homeschool that would be crazy that. would be fun yeah yeah it's either it's. EI it's like both it's like and even.
independent movies it's like I don't. know cuz I and you know I'd love to talk. about just more comedy stuff too but. yeah but this is interesting because. it's a new time where someone is making. their own film well that's that's the. thing dude is like I don't know how you. feel but I feel like I hit the jackpot. of all jackpots right like I never. thought I'd be [ __ ] podcasting you. know what I mean like I wanted to just. do comedy I never thought I would have. to like build my own fan base to just. like make a living and then like got.
really lucky and and like so when you. get lucky what do you do with it and. it's like I've never been the kind of. person that just wants to chase I don't. want to get super famous I don't want to. get super rich I want to be able to make. the stuff I [ __ ] love and like that's. what this was it's like I think you know. there's some people who like we have a. chance like building our own fan bases. where it's like we can make what we like. yeah and instead of trying to. desperately get into like a mainstream. Studio system or or you know not that I.
won't make a [ __ ] you know so you. know Studio want you make a movie I'd. love to do it but instead of like. waiting for years like I think I don't. know I think a bunch of like a. generation of comics found out you can. go through the internet make up a fan. base and then it's like what do you want. to do with it and for me it's like let. me just [ __ ] do make a [ __ ] movie. like yeah no the way no one the way no. one it's stupid that I get to like sell. out theaters it's stupid stupid I get to. make movies but that's what I want to.
[ __ ] do and instead of just like. being broke and trying to be an actor. and all this other [ __ ] it was like I. know at least some people will see it my. fans will see it hopefully you know some. of your fans will see it like that's the. cool thing about building like a network. where it's like you just hit up your. friends it's like I'm not on I got on. NPR because the lady liked my Mo well. like a lady on the weekend thing liked. my movie but it's like we don't even. have a mainstream way to to put it out. there so I don't know man I just think. it's cool and it would be sick if people. just started doing that sh if you. started doing whatever you're passionate.
about because you have this fan base and. you've built your own thing and tires is. like that that was really INSP you know. that was the best thing yeah was that. was one something amazing about tires it. was like you heard jokes on there for. the first time there was jokes about. everybody yeah and it was just normal. stuff you would probably hear at a very. alarming rubber shop yeah yeah yeah it's. a bad tire like God this place exactly. and it's like no one's saying that. that's the only comedy that has to exist. you know what I mean I want to see [ __ ].
from everybody but it's like go make. your own [ __ ] everybody gets to make. their own [ __ ] so that's why my version. of that is just like a goofy ass uh. let's start a cult let's start a cult. and it's on VOD you can rent it uh rent. it or buy it right now you do that right. now by the time this is out it'll be you. can go rent it you can go buy right now. they can get it yeah and it's like and. it's like so VOD like what is that so I. know it means video on but where like. what does that mean Apple Amazon just. wherever you rent you can go to Amazon. put in let's start a cult you watch your. movie exact and now what's that price. point how do y'all figure that out I.
don't actually know but hopefully low. I'm trying to get it out there I was. trying I was I'm trying to get there. what do you mean low you're talking. $999 yeah proba maybe lower even than. that well that's yeah I just want people. to see it yeah but you don't want yeah. yeah I get that but you're right I think. probably $9.99 if somebody's like I can. get this or I can get some mac. nuggets I it's not that they they're. going to debate between the two yeah. yeah yeah but then they're kind of like. hey I want both for. $4.99 may maybe we should talk to. McDonald's. we should do we could do a tie-in yeah.
remember those glass cups for Batman you. remember those dude those were sick uhuh. oh Batman I believe Batman Forever which. was not a good movie it was like the Jim. Carrey um oh I forgot that he was Batman. no no he was uh the Riddler oh he was. the Riddler yeah yeah they had those. glass cups oh wait with those yes oh. yeah you remember those dude oh yeah I. had the [ __ ] out of those the two- fa. ones but one loser shattered one of. those in the [ __ ] ball pit m mhm and.
ruin yeah people were dealing with that. yeah that one that one's a iconic one. the the Tommy Lee Jones one that movie. was [ __ ] awesome and the one after it. with Mr Freeze was even more awesome. they had Joel Schumacher who was just. like the gayest guy of all time he's the. man he's he's a great director but he. made it fun as [ __ ] like those movies. sucked coming off the Tim Burton batm. because they were like went from dark. and like Moody and kind of cool and. comic Booky to like truly the campiest. it was like essentially Batman going to. like Drag Brunch yeah and and like.
people weren't ready for that now but. throw those on now you'll have a great. time you'll be you'll be like wow this. is so over the top but it's fun dude you. know what I mean like they got jacked. guys they got sexy ladies just parading. around it's it's very fun Alicia. silverstone's Batwoman Batgirl oh I. remember her she's looking pretty good. when did this happen because I saw the. one with Hugh Ledger and then I saw. Heath Ledger and then I saw the one um. where it was like the two old guys in.
the cave running around you know. remember that one I don't remember that. Batman and Batman Batman versus Superman. like a rock or something Batman and. Robin yeah can you bring that up Oh you. mean like the old ass ones yeah the one. where they're like running around in the. same cave over and over again with Adam. West yeah and one of the oh there you go. yeah and one of the guys is like I'm. Batman and the other guy's like I'm just. here you know I'm here for the party. that guy well they they were part Adam.
West was absolutely getting [ __ ] in. this era he was like he's like notorious. for [ __ ] and sucking really in this. yeah and I believe with men too I don't. think men I well I don't know. long is that what man ass is is that. this long [ __ ] I think they call it. that I mean cuz dude if you look at it. they you know. weer weer is just long oh Oh you mean. the dick is long yeah like an inverted.
okay I thought you were the ass oh yeah. dude a wiener is just like a that's. reaching for. something look at this guy now this just. looks like any uh this looks like it's. awesome he refused to sh to shave his. mustache so they just painted it over. this is how little they gave a [ __ ]. about the Batman TV show the guy was. like I'm not shaving my mustache they're. like we don't give a [ __ ] man he's like. I got to play tennis. tomorrow not shaving this [ __ ]. D but Burgess Meredith who played um the.
penguin in this and also played Mickey. and Rocky I believe him and Adam West. were absolute kozz hounds they were just. [ __ ] so much in these in these times. I and by that I mean I saw one Tik Tock. about it and I love to think of that. well they didn't have condoms at this. time did they I don't believe so when. did condoms really no they probably had. them but they weren't using them you. think there was like a luxury good it. was like a fancy thing they they. probably had like I bet you a like a.
cavemen were like putting their dick in. like sheep's like intestines not to have. kill children at a certain point oh just. to get it out of their system I think. they just figured out condoms pretty. quick like condoms have been used for. centuries but became more popular at. different times for different reasons. 18th century condoms became more. well-known and the market grew despite. opposition opposition to condoms that. was the first time the church was like. this is unnatural. I absolutely yeah the church was against.
them I promise you the church was. against them cuz every they got a nut. the whole point of life is procreation. right so for them and mother nature was. probably against him nature M has to be. cuz nature wants things to have sex sure. right that's what nature needs that yeah. so I wonder if nature put that in the. minds of people like we can't stop it. yes you mean Mo like um like mother. nature planted that thought into your. head or she's not going to let that not. like that's only goal right is to smash.
and party but is it is it people though. cuz people were doing her harm maybe. Mother Nature wanted condom so rabbit so. rabbits and plants and [ __ ] could [ __ ]. and bring back you know the Eco because. we're [ __ ] polluting especially this. is the 18th century Mother Nature. probably she the Industrial Revolution. happens we start polluting [ __ ] yeah. she's like these [ __ ] are no. good yeah you got to get we got to get. them out of here we got to get them. nutting inside of plastic bags inside of. [ __ ] instead of free and clear yeah.
that's a good point you know yeah. started to become sort of this um uh. this it was like blue blockers for kind. of or for for sex you know 19th century. oh go on what you say were you going to. say despite opposition they were sold in. pubs theaters and barber shops barber. shops when the lineup's so crispy you. know you're going to get. [ __ ] like now this that's that's a good. marketing Ploy it is you're going to. need one of these. I you so nice good day sir and then you.
get a bad cut and the guy's like H. you're not going to we'll we have eight. for the whole. city and by the way wash it out and tie. it back up when you're done these things. are. expensive I know you see them on the. clothes. line those are the days man don't nut in. it too much I know huh hey come on over. I stole my neigh was condom man yeah. we'll go half on going half on a condom. with your boy tonight tonight Judy like.
dude jack off before you [ __ ] yeah I you. don't I don't want the first nut of the. day going in this thing we need we need. the second the weaker one goes in this. one we got to we got to uh we got to. keep the foundation intact on this thing. dude this thing can't handle it can only. handle about seven PSI it's not rated. for the first none of the day loads it's. not rated for that that's crazy and then. 19th Century it says rubber condoms.
became popular however condom use was. mainly limited to the upper class due to. a lack of sexual education in the. working class is wow that makes sense oh. for sure like these people can barely. you know if this guy's making shoes all. day yeah he's cobbling yeah he's. cobbling or or would cobbling be like a. hierarchy job you think oh you like uh. you mean you mean they're in the shoe. factory the cobbler is kind of a an. artisan a bespoke yes Artisan you're. right yeah yeah he's probably somewhere. in between the two 19th century so we're.
talking the 1800s you still got both you. still got combers and shoe factory. workers they wouldn't let them have. condoms it's a little bit of both I. would say where it's like the education. keeps them not understanding how useful. is so the working class has kids. workingclass women have to have kids. earlier they're trapped they don't get. to [ __ ] you know I mean it's a. classic thing the workingclass always. gets tricked in this [ __ ] it in all. of human history while the [ __ ] the. barons [ __ ] suck you know what I mean.
they're on their [ __ ] couches they're. on their sh. lounges the the the factory workers they. don't know any better but then they're. just letting them have sex and make more. Factory workers which seems bizarre MH. well that's good for again the upper. classes they want disposable Working. Class People in shitty living conditions. what do they care right and so if the if. if people have more kids it keeps them. in poverty because then they have to. spend and take care of the children and. they get more workers and then wages go. lower right so you know keep them going.
keep condoms just for the rich yeah. condoms in 1950s and 1960s condoms. became a popular birth control method. with 42% of Americans of reproductive. age using them for birth control between. 1955 and 65 W so that's about when we're. to bring It full circle that's when. Batman I believe the first Batman was. shot so they probably mixed it up they. probably had but those guys look like. raw Doggers to me those guys I think. Adam West can we do a little research on. Adam West sexual history I think Adam.
West I think Adam West and Burgess. Meredith they're old school guys they're. not putting on condoms unless absolutely. necessary what do you say look at this. Adam West his stories of romantic. Conquest including the infamous night. with eight women Wow have become the. yeah this man part of lore surrounding. his life and career while some might. View West candid Revelations with a. mixture of astonishment and disbelief. they also offer a glimpse into the. complexities of living under the. spotlight yeah yeah sounds bad real.
tough got to [ __ ] suck before. smartphones yeah Lord knows what Adam. West was up to there was no way he was. [ __ ] well he had that bat phone. didn't he. sure he used hey what's that he used it. to gete head oh mayor give me the woman. with the largest tits and Gotham ASAP. bring her over to my trailer you got it. Batman he just shines that bat light. just across into his neighbor's. apartment just [ __ ] dick he has a bat. light but he has a dick light whether.
he's horny or. not. yeah. bam. squish the crazy part was when they. would [ __ ] like they had run like this. or something yeah yeah yeah well they. would go up a wall yeah they pretend to. go up a wall and they literally just put. the camera up sideways yeah it's pretty. fun to watch it yeah we need more stuff. like that but you know we just need more. stuff that's Entertainment more Goofy. [ __ ] yeah and no we did not have as.
much sex on the I don't think is there a. love story is there a love Arc in there. there you know I will say there is a. there is a sex scene really there is a. sex scene it's and it was probably my. favorite I wrote the movie like I said. with my friends and so of course you. write in a sex scene dude I used to I. used to have acting class and I would. just like we'd have to do scenes and. stuff and I would always bring a scene. where there's like possible making. out that's hilarious and it would just. be like two people are walking and. they're in an argument and then for no. reason they kiss or whatever you wrote.
it and J would like this is crazy like. yeah it is dude Janet presses her tits. against Mark uh. vigorously likeo don't put don't add. actions. please I just think it should be clear. yeah I think it should be clear it's a. vigorous tit. press uh it was I had to I had to now. yet had a sex scene Wow first one you've.
ever done uh like in a film or something. yeah yeah I think it was I mean that. hiding your phone on a on a cabinet. across the. room without being like Oh yeah I don't. know why that teddy bear is blinking red. that's weird I'm going to go turn it off. then you just put a [ __ ] piece of. black masking tape over it. yeah um I'm trying to think cuz I will. yeah how did he take was that a nervous. day it was weird man so yeah there is a. sexy it's and I don't want to spoil too.
much but is a wild one and I will say uh. there there was an intimacy coordinator. and that's the person I felt bad for the. most cuz this person's job is if you're. I had of a nude scene and so if you're. nude some lady has to put a little like. a rubber triangle around your dick and. balls really like one of those bibs you. get at a crab joint yeah it has it has a. lobster with a fork and a and a knife in. it in its claws. printed on it it is honestly not that.
far off from that though it is just like. a it's like a plastic thong essentially. no and so so you're naked that day yeah. perhaps I am wow perhaps I am I so. nervous yeah I mean it sucked and then. it's like you know and the person's. naked the woman um I won't divulge who. I'll just say I'm naked okay you know. that's you know and uh so I'm definitely. nude and and one and a woman has to uh. tape literally tape my dick and balls to.
this [ __ ] thing because you want to. look naked but you don't want if you. know you don't want people to have to. look at my dick the whole day so you. want to put like a plastic sheet over it. but this woman's job anytime that thing. like slipped she had to just like get in. there just this poor lady man she had to. rape my [ __ ] up she's just like cutting. edge with it huh and she's it's like the. way like uh you know they would they. would tape up your ankles at a high. school football game she had the same. demeanor is just like a grizzled you.
know you're going to be. fine yeah I've seen worse yeah here's a. aoup Lim huh it was tough but wow no. dude I [ __ ] so there's a lot of. little layers in the film huh yeah. there's a lot of a lot of you know. anything again anything for a laugh and. I wanted you might never get a chance to. make a movie again so it's like let's. [ __ ] yeah let's leave it all out. there you know what I mean and so and. the way there is always I love I again I. used to love when there was over thep. sex scenes in those movies we're talking. about so I was like let's put one of.
those in there's some there's some. physical other physical stuff I had to. run a lot which is hilarious I didn't. think about it yeah any acrobatics or. anything for you I wish next time dude. next time I'm going to [ __ ] spend a. year learning how to do a. backflip yeah or the cartwheel that. never stops yeah that would be sick that. Greek cartwheel that would be awesome. just [ __ ] rattle that [ __ ] just. eliminate the albanians with it I would. love that yeah that's just a joke. get into it that's just a joke albanians.
that's just a joke yeah yeah one of my. dear friends that's the the classic. racist thing to say my best friend is. Albanian which is actually true in my. case but it's like the classic um um. what was what and what was the budget of. the film what does it cost that it was. it was 750k wow yeah so it was it. started at like 200k and we did it with. I want to say you know dark sky uh dark. sky films which like it's a smaller. production company they've actually they. done a lot of cool [ __ ] a lot of cool.
horror movies and stuff but lower budget. stuff and they were just [ __ ] awesome. uh to work with they just saw a short. that we did and they thought we were. going to write like a one location cuz. the short takes place in one place but. we were like if you're going to let us. make a movie we're going to [ __ ] it. there's going to be wild [ __ ] in it and. so we pretty much pushed it to the the. amount because it's such a weird you. also learn so much about this kind of. [ __ ] where it's like if you go what did. you learn what was the number one thing. you learned you like well I mean I. interrupted you if you go over what no.
no like one of the things I learned is. that like you can't really go over a. certain budget because then everything. becomes more expensive and you have to. like you have to get like more just like. for you know Union reasons you have to. get more people involved it becomes like. a harder job whereas like the lower. budget you make a movie they kind of. allow you to like a lot of people can do. different jobs you can you know. obviously you have to follow certain. rules and you can't overwork people but. um there was basically like a limit. where they were like look if you spend. any more than this we have to pay all. the actors more we have to pay everybody.
else more and you know we pretty much. lost I mean I lost money so you put some. of your money in no but like just not. working I took I like cancel dates I. like you know what I mean it was like. time cost totally totally and like and. i' I'll probably lose money just like. traveling to promote it and stuff like. that but again who gives a [ __ ] it's. about making cool [ __ ] and it's like I'm. not starting for money and so but yeah. you just learn a bunch of you know and. you also think like you think think a. movie's going to be like this [ __ ].
actors [ __ ] talking about each scene. and [ __ ] like that they're like dude we. have [ __ ] 12 minutes to get this and. oh it's actually the most crucial scene. in the movie well yeah good luck they're. like and this dog has to be asleep in in. in a half hour you're like what we're. putting the dog down yeah we're putting. the dog down unless you nail this scene. I'm like huh yeah yeah it's just cheaper. to put them down Union rules I don't. know bro either nail the scene or the. [ __ ] shih TSU gets. huh I didn't want to kill a dog and you.
shouldn't have [ __ ] with the team like. dear God right you think you'd be able. to make your money back I think so we. did pretty well you know we didn't do. crazy uh we had a we had a release in. theater just because I just think it's. important to see yeah no well this is. that's what's amazing about it it's this. you know like uh we had Kevin Smith on. and he's done this you know but now it's. certainly that there are uh creators. that have their own world and they want. to make a film sometimes you know like.
me and Spade wrote a movie and we have a. chance to do it right and so we're. finally going to do it and just took. forever to get it together and like. nobody in Hollywood wants to finance or. anything but it's cool to see people. just making their own stuff and so. that's why I called you even last week. and I was like hey tell me about this I. just want to know because it's just. Brave you're trying something thanks man. yeah and it's um and ITA what you want. to do nobody can kind of tell you what's. supposed to be on the script toally the. only limitation was budget and for me I. think that's so much that's so much.
cooler and you get to actually be an. artist about it not to [ __ ] suck my. own dick it's a movie about you know a. fat guy and my you see my nuts in it. it's not like I'm [ __ ] again we're. not making you see both your nuts in the. movie I will also mention this they. didn't let me show my real nuts which is. a big problem for me cuz the nuts look. little and I have pretty nice nuts. Foundation I have a nice found truly the. dick the dick is more of an ornamental. piece but it's like the little star at. the top the dick is the nose the lung.
the dick is the nose the nuts are the. lungs absolutely they go deep they go. deep they go deep and they're full deep. breath let's just say lungs of the. heavens brother I got Michael phelps's. lungs got nice capacity on those lungs. nose not so much cute little button nose. Michael yeah yeah dude more of a yeah. it's nothing A Snowman no it's not a. Michael Imperioli nose it's a. it's almost like a burn victim nose yeah.
right right right right again yeah. shaved off they've made it out of a. little W ankle bone they took a little. ankle bone and they're like look we'll. do our. best yeah it's kind of a Voldemort. situation yeah kind of cat's. nose I've got a penis like a cat's nose. you. know it's cold and wet. yeah I mean I guess it's kind of it.
stays up all night stays up all night. yeah yeah it'll it'll bother you it'll. bother you all night it'll [ __ ] it'll. [ __ ] bat your eyes out of your face. while you're. resting it'll keep nudging you until you. give it a little attention it'll beat a. jingle bell to death on your Christmas. tree um wow but yeah but I didn't get to. show my real nuts which is a problem but. again these are the artistic sacrifices. we have to make sometimes to get our. movie made 24 whatever yeah absolutely.
yeah but that is crazy and there's. Michael Phelps has small nuts you cannot. nuts I bet you's got a nice pair he's a. large guy he's a huge guy though nut to. the [ __ ] they show okay a big back. tires on a [ __ ] swimmer I think he's. got a nice pair dude no he doesn't look. at this no I will not I bet he's tucked. them underneath his ass you have to. almost tie them in your ass there is. there is okay there is a image I believe. they tried like wow look at that he's.
[ __ ] jacked he's probably got a I. mean he's a big dude he's got a nice. pair now I would say probably you size. to size pound for pound I think I have. pretty nice nuts oh yeah and not weight. I'm talking about frame okay we're not. gonna go we're talking about what my. body should be on the on the cuz nuts. that's a big disadvantage for the fat. man titties get bigger the fatter you. get dick and balls stay the same size is. true absolutely dick um my dick got. plumper the fatter I got beautiful time.
year yeah yeah the leaves change the. dick the nuts are getting plumper with. every slice of pumpkin. pie every helping of squash your [ __ ]. dick gets a little bigger no your dick. got bigger the figh you are I would be. 800 lb I would just be you would have. like feeders trying to get dicks as big. as possible yeah which doesn't happen so. um but I think you want those smaller. nuts you want less drag if you're a. swimmer that's not big thing you want. Roy Jones Juniors you.
know dude why don't they have Roy Jones. Jor mints that's a great idea Roy Jin. kidding anymore yep they'll knock out. bad breath yeah done and done dude yeah. something chocol that knocks out bad. yeah yeah yeah I love that just a hint. of chocolate oh um well so that movie is. out now people can go check it out yeah. please go see please please go see it. congratulations man thank you dude and. yeah I think it's you know it's cool to. support you know it's obviously my movie. I I believe it believe in it a lot but.
it's like anytime creative people that. you like make [ __ ] outside of a system I. think it's kind of important to go. support that [ __ ] yeah well it's kind of. like a new realm you know and also some. movies that are billion dollar movies. are are horrible there was one Ryan. Gosling with and my mom and I went and. saw was horrible yeah I went and saw. something the other night it was um a. chance in time or something can you look. it up for me we live in time. there you go well here's what I don't is.
that bad that looks I like those actors. it was sweet was cute but every shot was. so close on their faces after a while. you're like where's all the money they. spent on sets who you can't even see the. set so what starts to happen for me I. notice in movies is they shoot things so. tight nowadays right like it's just this. right and your brain there's no like. your imagination if there's more going. on your imagination has to process. things on the screen right so your.
imagination is interested in what's. going on but if there's nothing to even. really think about it's so dumbed down. everything is this tight you're not. you're just kind of like you just start. to lose interest because I think there's. a part of you that's not working you. know it's like when they shoot comedies. now it's like they shoot everything so. tight and it's just. about you don't get you don't see. people's body language stuff they just I. feel like they miss out on a lot of. things um just because they think we. need it to be so simple yeah well I. think that is another thing that I.
learned about movies which I didn't. think about at all is that it is such a. visual you think it's about the writing. you think it's about your jokes and. especially being a comic you're like. it's all about the writing it's all. about the jokes and you don't think. about like it's a visual medium it's. like a bunch of interesting pictures. strung together ultimately is what it is. and it was interesting to like like talk. to our cinematographer and a scene that. I thought was like pretty. straightforward just two people talking. kind of what you're describing just. faces he's like no n let's [ __ ] play. why don't you guys lean on the car why.
don't we make it a little more. interesting and like that was a [ __ ]. sick part of it to like yeah I cuz you. don't think about that I just think. about the jokes and I just think about. my words getting laughs and then it's. cool to watch a movie and be like oh you. just do something with your face and. that's a laugh and you just [ __ ] you. run funny and that's a laugh you know. what I mean and it's like that was a. cool thing again I love comedy so much. and I'm just trying to figure out every. way to be funny and I think like yeah. what you're saying of like making it. interesting having the visuals being. really interesting that's a huge a huge.
again it's a cool learning experience. and that's what I I don't know if you. feel this way but it's like that's the. nice thing about about like learning you. [ __ ] is just how can we be funny and. like the the time I felt the most. engaged in my life was like when I was. an open mic or learning how to do comedy. and it's cool to get the chance to make. a movie and like feel like I don't know. dick I'm a [ __ ] dumb as [ __ ] like. let's figure out how to how to make all. this stuff and yeah I'm a recovering.
Greek yeah yeah yeah I know I'm [ __ ]. I'll never kick. that I had [ __ ] I had a EO yesterday. bro I had yesterday dude I'll never. sorry man I thought you had some time. under your. belt know um you know I sometime I put. on uh them nighttime. Underpants you know what I'm talking. about cuz who sleeps naked baby a. criminal that's who not I. Tommy John's that's what I'm wearing I.
like Tommy John's I like them them male. negl they got for you them under pants. because they. smooth you can feel them and they feel. good God you can't even believe you're. feeling yourself when you got them tjs. on baby them tummy. je God they feel so good I want them on. right now I'll put them all over myself. what I love about him is the waistband. isn't super tight on him some underpaint. you get him the waistband so tight so I. have one sip of water and then I got to.
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sponsoring the. podcast let's you also you have an. annual calendar D which is pretty crazy. and is that is that coming out soon. that's out now yeah that's out now yes. the. 2025 it's all you can already buy it the. 2025 look at the calf on this guy you. like that dude look at the it's popping. kettle bell you're hiding there it's. popping brother yeah wow you got that. Rogan head down there nuts and calves. that's all I got oh fat nuts and calves. and you know oh you know and is this. real yeah yeah I'm on [ __ ] Mount.
Everest right there that's me that's. some beautiful some of it's real some of. it is uh the work of my my brilliant uh. uh producer Benjamin butt cheeks Benny. butt cheeks Ben o'ri who also directed. my special he helps me with the calendar. as well squirt of course the get heads. be that you right there. wow yeah if you zoom in on those there's. a lot of fun lot of fun to see right the. set right it adds to it m [ __ ] do you.
jizera wow oh the different books on the. bookshelf a lot of Easter eggs in here. huh a lot of Easter eggs a lot of Easter. eggs and then there we have Halloween. right there oh yeah and this is very. Chelsea Lynn you guys she has a calendar. as well I yes I saw that she had that. I've been I uh I've been doing a nude. this was the first thing that was. successful in my career before I had. anything going on I would I sold a nude. calendar when I was like basically a.
feature I was opening for Bobby Kelly. and dude this was the first thing that. ever made me money I've been doing a. calendar for legitimately probably I. think nine years. reallya I used to print them myself I. used to sell them out of my [ __ ]. Honda Civic and now it's like and now it. makes a [ __ ] ton of money but I would. make like a couple like back in the day. I would make a couple thousand bucks and. I was like I'm [ __ ] Rich dude and the. the headliner starts to hate you d he s. you that was always a thing the. headliner and the feature selling stuff.
well that's why I mean Bobby was the man. and he he knew me and I was like then. and he was cool with it and I also would. just like I would just [ __ ] sell it. on Instagram and like mail it personally. to people like I had no just like sell. it out of the back of my [ __ ] trunk. at like I would be headlining shitty. little [ __ ] you know like a. restaurant in h Frederick Maryland oh. just be 12 polaro [ __ ] or whatever and. you just wrote a different month on. one you're like but what if you only had.
11 polar you it's like January February. [Music]. spring June July. August um do you ever audition other men. to be in it because I was wondering if. there should be more I mean you do a. great job right but would there ever be. the possibility to creating a something. around the idea of getting other men in. there interesting A diversity of body. types yeah um I don't know I've never I. I did think at one point to get to make.
it like a collaborative calendar where. every month there's like a a guest. that's a different type of person you. know like maybe men maybe women some. non-binary [ __ ] just some. different body types just like. Sagittarius whatever dude yeah yeah yeah. get them all barbecue lovers. whatever some centaurs uh some uh oh. yeah half short legs y long life short. legs that is true the taller you are the. the quicker you die is it that's what.
I'm saying Timber yeah short people live. longer bring them down yeah yeah enjoy. all that [ __ ] 66. guys must be nice dude now I'm not going. to go into the Obesity metrics right now. we're just going to keep it we're just. going to keep it just on hype. yeah I'm going to take my winds where I. can get them brother this ain't about me. dude this is not about me some people. say fat some people a foundational. that's right a good foundation you're.
not knocking me over in the wind it. would be cool if you got guys on there. just get like you could get a lot of. union workers too sure I would love to. get yeah you're right I should get lay. them down put some grapes on their chest. yeah yeah yeah absolutely dude grapes. will that'll [ __ ] that'll Greek out. any union worker sure I think they're. close I think you show them a little you. know any the the most hard edged union. worker you show them a little bit of the. forbidden fruit of what it can be like. to be to be a fat uh you know just you. they would trade in a heartbeat.
rubenesque cement yes yes yes yes yes. absolutely that's what we should that's. what we should figure out here we should. set up a situation where it's like look. we got DMS coming in yeah we're not. going to be able to [ __ ] everybody wants. to [ __ ] us we don't want to [ __ ]. everybody wants to [ __ ] us right what do. you mean what are you saying I'm saying. both of us I feel like have uh I'm sure. your D I don't check my DMs too much we. have DMS coming in saying I'm saying I. say there's women young ladies that want. to you know are attracted to a style of.
guy older ladies across the board we're. not going to [ __ ] all of them we should. be able to find in my case rubenesque. you know union workers in your case I. don't you know I don't know exactly no. guys that run rehabs or you know you. know like guys that run rehabs or I. don't know I've been offered couple free. 30day stays I'll tell you. that but you know little mullet guys you. know what I mean. Theo Style Gentleman yeah neighbors of.
farmers neighbors of far yeah they don't. do any any farming themselves but they. got the same zip code they got Farmland. zip code but they don't own a tractor oh. but they'll sit on their porch and look. at at the other guy's place and be like. oh look at these soil fat over there you. know so yeah there's we should be able. to to hand them off some of the DMS. that's all I'm saying I think that would. be a nice thing to do yeah yeah like. donated DM to someone donate a DM almost. like create love connections you know o.
I would love to see a dating site if you. would put one together I'd love to do. that I'd love to host a dating show. actually that would be awesome you'd be. so good at it awes that could be maybe. your next movie you host a dating show. and then you find Love Somehow I love. that little romantic comedy yeah I. remember you saying one time about like. uh one of the reasons that you got on a. comedy was for dating right a lot of. guys purely without question okay and I. think maybe and is that still a good. reason do you feel like like what's that. evolved like a little bit you know or to. get laid like does that work you know. and what's the dangers also of having.
sex in some places some regions of the. country the regional dangers of Kus yeah. I'm just saying if you're ever in the. bus belt you. know well you can't let it fly like Adam. West used to I'm definitely using. condoms I'll put it that way I guess the. dangers of the bus getting you don't. want to get stuck in the bus belt yeah. you can vac you can have a nice visit. but you don't want to be a father that. has to check in court ordered once a. month at the bus belt that's the biggest. danger ESP you if it's a layover to get.
to your child oh no dud how many. children lose out on a father because. there's a layover right because uh Jet. Blue doesn't want to [ __ ] fly direct. to. akan oh dude and we just used akan in a. joke last week which is crazy that you. did as well. show yeah yeah we were there at the same. that was that's why I thought of it that. was fun as [ __ ] it was fun but yeah what. are the side effects now as you see that. you've been out the you know you've been. out in the world over there you know.
glazing sure sure sure sure sure you. glazing the you know different um. literal glazing not the metaphorical. like sort of pumping somebody up yeah. yeah you mean actually glazing yeah just. uh yeah or you know uh whatever they. call it letting fly yeah filling the man. you know doing the manati or whatever. yeah filling the manati. up filling up the manicot yeah you've. been more you know creaming the canol. yeah absolutely I got you brother but.
yeah and what does it what does it look. like over time do you feel like oh cuz. that gets not good not good at. all I mean that's that's something I'm. facing kind of I don't know if it's. headon I don't know if I it's one of. those things there's a couple things. remaining in my life that I feel like I. need to conquer and that's long-term. Health like I have I took a lot of time. off and I lost some weight this year I. lost like 45 pounds but in the month. that I've been shooting tires promoting.
the movie doing standup again [ __ ]. I've gained 10 pound you know what it's. yeah CU you look more organized your. body does thank you yeah yeah yeah it. was a it was a mess before it was like. uh when you go remember when you just. that show where they would open up. random uh storage units yeah that's kind. of what my body was like you never knew. once the shirt comes off you don't know. what you're going to get wow you know. what I mean there is a little more now. you open up a storage unit at least it's. got some rusty shelves that all the all. the all the stuff is in in Little Boxes. some curios okay it's a cabinet of.
Cu there's a little something you know. absolutely uh I've been working out and. so I still am lifting weights and stuff. and I feel better I I literally City. biked over here from from Queens uh yeah. cuz you a little wet when you got here. iy I had a sweat I was I was [ __ ]. City biking listening to sexy red you. know the inxy we trust a lot of bangers. on that nothing like listening to bad. [ __ ] when you're working out in my. experience cuz it puts me in that in. that head space you know of that like.
you know there's something a little more. there's something a little more um you. know sure I she's back I love she's back. honestly the one about the uh the. gentleman being outside I don't remember. which uh I don't remember which one it. is it's sort of like a you know uh an. Anthem for for the gals to get ready. maybe it's outside outside yeah it's. basically a song about hey gals uh you. know look real hot there's a bunch of. sexy gentlemen outside and even though I.
don't want to [ __ ] the guys I could. gender flip that and be like fellas yeah. there's [ __ ] to be gotten let's. [ __ ] put on our nice shirt let's get. out there there's opportunity to. opportunity to be gotten yeah cuz I'll. go in the bathroom sometimes at a bar. and there'll be guys in there and I'll. yell like [ __ ] piss and get back out. there yeah boys come on you've been shut. you've been shut down three times in a. row actually maybe go home and now that. I think of. it you're kind of [ __ ] The Vibes up I. just thought about it for a second.
please leave both the ratio and The. Vibes are being [ __ ] up by. you I'm more like a like a you pissy S. Grant when I'm in there I'll just start. tell the boys yeah get back out there. what do you mean what do you mean you. cked up your. little do you mean there's no way your. dick Works remember people used to slap. people like. that that I really want to do that once. in my life three stoos you could be in. one of the three Studio I would love to. I would love to do some physical comedy.
but I would also love to bring one of my. friends to his senses when he's having a. psychotic break with a nice get yourself. together man that would feel awesome. yeah yeah get yourself together man the. markets are. closed and that's all it used to take. yeah you didn't have to send someone to. a [ __ ] mental institution you [ __ ]. them once in a public. Street simpler times different now did. he go home and hit his wife. not deal with any of the mental issues.
probably we can't say we don't know. maybe it is better again on second. thought there wasn't a lot of accurate. reporting back then right we don't know. the. numbers do you what was that like taking. a year you took a year off stand up yeah. a year it was about six months but yeah. I didn't tour from February until I had. like one date but you still practice or. no no I was I didn't I didn't do any. standup um and it was it was [ __ ] the. thing that sucks is it was awesome like. I felt peaceful I didn't have to travel.
every [ __ ] week being unemployed yeah. it was yeah exactly it felt like that I. would I would go on long walks I would. [ __ ] go I would go to like [ __ ]. the supermarket and just see what was on. it's like what's on special today I had. like a I've never heard somebody say. I'll go on long walks through the super. to the supermarket like to the superet. not through no I'm like here's this guy. who's [ __ ] I'm pulling up to a. [ __ ] Safeway and hitting I'm hitting. all the aisles at the grocery store like.
oh what do you mean there's not a mile. marker by the gram. crackers the way they have old people. walk through malls they have fat people. walk through grocery stores like come on. these are your favorite things little. buddy you pass the ice cream eight times. you get you get a lick you get a you get. a [ __ ] thing a Halo top um no I would. I would [ __ ] walk by the water and B. I was in Baltimore I would take long ass. walks I would buy like one piece of meat. Grill it up eat it with some veggies it. was a beautiful beautiful simple life.
but I also love that's the other thing. is like and I did stand up I was like. damn this is awesome yeah but I think. the the the lesson is to not do three. things at once um it's a lot so I think. like next year when I tour I'm not doing. anything else like right now I made the. mistake of going from nothing to tires. the movie coming out um uh my back to my. standup back to my podcast I'm also I. have a tour that I'm announcing I think. actually probably if it comes out next. week it'll be then but the Dreamboat. tour I'm doing a big all across like on.
the water I yeah that would be [ __ ]. sick I should have done that I should. have chartered a sailboat but no it's. more of a metaphor metaphorically the. Dreamboat tour can you imagine [ __ ]. chartering a sailboat to go to your. shows that would be [ __ ] awesome like. where is stars like he's on the horn. he's on the yeah the C the Horn of. Africa the Horn of yeah he got caught G. The gales of November came early and. caught.
him he's marooned off off Vancouver. Island off the SE shell yeah he only. sold 40 tickets near the Suz. Canal he still got to go down he still. got to go he's still got to go are the. Greeks the blacks of are some people. say some people say the that the Greeks. are the blacks of Europe and who are. these people exactly huh bring up. someone bring.
up. Google no people say that all the. time I'm serious. man serious bro you'll be wandering past. a an olive. shop and you'll you'll hear the door. will open and you'll hear somebody are. you talking about your internal. monologue Theo are you talking about. every time you see a Greek person that's. what you think than I'm just saying. there is a lot of people call them black.
olives okay that's all I'm saying. there's a lot of conversation about. black oliv out there sure hey I'll I'll. take that with pride black people are. the cool they they're the they're the. culture drivers of America without. question in some ways I guess that's you. know maybe ancient Greece what's. democracy if not the original hip-hop. yeah you know what I mean how everything. filtered out from that kind of you know. the same way love it when you call me. Big s yeah yeah the same way music's.
been taking from black people forever. everyone's kind of been taking our [ __ ]. between philosophy and democracy from a. pompe pompe I believe was was that the. Roman Empire don't be a hater [ __ ] [ __ ]. Rome they took our whole [ __ ] think it's. in. Greece so don't kill our that Louisiana. public school system. hey cheaper Globes cheaper Globes if if. they're from 1820 30.
countries they Mash Europe together yeah. so no comment on that huh uh I say I'll. take that like I said you know I I had a. joke in my special where if you think of. really I think Greeks are probably the. most light-skinned Arabs is really where. we have more. cultural uh we're pretty similar people. yeah loud you know what I mean like loud. kind of flashy you know what I mean um.
but I think people British people loved. England or England loved ancient Greece. so much that they were like we got to. make them white because then white. people were you know what I mean like. ancient Greece was white when in reality. I think we're probably light skinned. Arabs yeah very loud you know touchy. feely lot you know what I mean like it. just it's the same Vibe the Gold Jewel. you know I'm wearing Jewels you know. what I mean something yeah for. sure yeah warm intense people we're not.
we're less you know I feel like grape. grapes but like grapes grapes is a very. Middle Eastern food is we'll take grapes. we'll take grapes dates all that type of. [ __ ] oh yeahuh a date's nice and me. personally I like I like that kind of. that kind of that style of woman as well. nice curly hair big nose type of. situation anywhere from like you know. you go Spain to the Middle East kind of. I met a beautiful Greek girl one time in. Florida oh okay and got popped a couple. Wier pills or something this is early. when the gas stations just had sure sure.
ask what we talking about Street. Overlord uh Rhino this was before Rhino. wow this was like uh I think these were. healthy dose or. something or uh the last Captain I think. one was called it was like these were. hopeful ones love it love it love it. love it and I remember I took a couple. of them dude and then I was like trying. to make out this girl and my nose. bleeding right onto her chest.
dude oh oh what a shame that could have. been your wife dude she was so cool too. some about a curly-haired woman dude I. agree I actually my favorite yeah you. know they're crazy if their hair had to. come out like. that you know like you you would have. been you would have been a great 17th. century doctor she well You Can Tell. She's suffering from bouts of insanity. look at her hair look at the wave in her. hair my God look at the print out. here this is she's.
lying look how far apart her eyes are. that's a space for. deceit that's the deceit zone right here. see I guess she's just holess let's calm. down but they look at uh they it's like. the um your a lie detector test or. whatever yeah yeah what else is wow the. boner pills huh that was bro I took most. of my life cuz I just had so much. anxiety oh dude believe me same I'm. lucky that I only caught the tail end of.
the of the uh gas station era horrible. now you can get them online pretty. easily but I also in the in between one. time I convinced I had an old Italian. doctor and I convinced him I had some. other I read that like if you have some. kind of prostate issue you can also take. seis to like relieve that I just kind of. read it as like I was doing my research. yeah for sure and I was like dude I. think my [ __ ] prostates [ __ ] up. acting up yeah yeah my prostates acting. up he picking up radio.
stations yeah and he was like and he had. to put his finger on my ass and he he. realized the prostate was fine but then. he was. like okay I give you the cup he knew. what I wanted which is also like why'. you have to put your finger up my. ass but I guess he just was hoping I was. on to something and then he was like. listen I give you this and no more but. he was like he knew I was just I was. like. 20 short fingers wide fingers though.
like come on he was [ __ ] awesome and. he just gave me a couple dick pills and. dude those were like that was my holy. Grill I had like a sample pack seis and. I [ __ ] oh so when that yeah when. those sample sealas and stuff hit the. streets they were breaking people's. windows to get those dude I went when I. first went to college I went and lived. with my buddy's dad he had a Viagra. prescription right he lived in a one. bedroom apartment where the [ __ ] were. you living on the couch yeah that's.
awesome and we would take turns like. sleeping on the couch of the bed right. and so and there you and his. dad and the reason I did was because he. got bone repeal subscriptions right she. could so I can. n but he only got like eight of them and. I'm like [ __ ] it's so hard to steal off. steal out of eight is you kind of like. the third day you can pull one like oh. he got drunk he took two. but you have to cut one directly in half. like how did one yeah just get just.
taken in half yeah you got to take it in. half you got to make that last oh yeah. took a and then but that's a fun that's. a fun kind of Passover Parable it was. horrible making the one dick pill last. 12 days whatever just nibbling on it. just a little bit we had one can of oil. and we made it last for 64 days whatever. yeah one dick pill 100 mgram viagro we. made it last for 12 weeks we each took. one lick of. it me and my friend's.
dad Shabbat shalong how long y Shabbat. sh. Shong um how long were you living with. your friend's father six months one. semester of. school God how were your grades that. semester here was the crazy part we had. a wall there was like a half wall there. wasn't a it was a loft the bedroom was a. loft and there was a living room it was. a nice building they did have a pool to. that was pretty cool and um I was. learning to play guitar at the time and. so I would go in there he'd have some.
every now and then he'd have a chick. stay over and I'd go in there and play. um uh tears. and the song about Eric Clapton's son. dying is that it's about yeah that's a. song you would play while the guy was. getting. [Music]. Mee it's about his [ __ ] sun falling. out of a. window what yeah no way how was it. somebody in the military no he was like. a little ass kid dude it's a tragic.
song oh dude sorry I'm sorry. Eric is CL still alive he's alive yeah. oh. man so so your friend's dad who's giving. you shelter is getting [ __ ] with one of. his eight. viagras and he has to battle that Viagra. is up against that old man's LED and the. saddest song one of the saddest songs of. the 90s. a poor rendition by the way there's no. way you were good at it you're. butchering it and it's sad as.
[ __ ] [ __ ] oh sorry. sorry oh so my. badink. [ __ ] would you know my. name dude but I would go there and one. time after a they would requested me to. come back in wow you were the [ __ ]. you were the music for. [ __ ] usually post qule that would. bring me in po post and I also then.
eventually played um uh um uh Every Rose. Has Its Thorn I rock that form a little. bit and I did eventually a um Widespread. Panic okay nice yeah that's good man so. that was your the three songs light yeah. [ __ ] rattle that up very poor. rendition lot of hand beating on the. [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah try and dress it. up you can barely play guitar Ning on a. viagara to keep me going yeah like a. mouse with a little beats of cheese and.
that dude was hammering dude and I and I. was having so much sexual issues and. [ __ ] he be in there just [ __ ] I. almost haveit to send him in there i' be. like just go up the hill man come on. climb up his bunk bed climb up the top. bunk turn. around that's a very interesting living. room like uh Dynamic and we had an. eclipse his son had an eclipse cuz this. dude was struggling his son had an. eclipse yeah Mitsubishi Eclipse but it. wouldn't turn off right you couldn't.
turn it off so you had to just siing gas. no you just had to keep putting gas so. we keep like we hold on hold on it never. turned off you couldn't you could but. you'd have to [ __ ] it was so hard to get. back on so we would just we keep like. extra cans of gas at the [ __ ] parking. space we had an underground parking. space yeah that was it but it was a. green one that's a nice car man I. remember thep and it had good rims on it. too I don't if they have that oh not. that green that is very more of a seaf.
foam yeah I would go with that one to. the right of the of the horizontal one. of the vertical one left left right. there mhm nice something like that yeah. dude oh yeah not as nice as that but. something like get the idea yeah but. that [ __ ] uh we would keep a couple. cans of gas cuz it got great mileage you. can [ __ ] keep it. going I don't know get the mileages if. you have to keep the gas just to keep it. running I would drive that [ __ ] over I.
went to lyola University I'd drive that. [ __ ] and [ __ ] in there's one in in. New Orleans and since you kept it. running people didn't you could park in. a weird spot and people like oh the. guy's just coming and going and how long. would it be there idling [ __ ] two. hours I'd [ __ ] be in. class I'd be in class dude but it was. kind of nice right when you got to it. got right in sure sure sure sure you. don't have the [ __ ] that hassle of. doing this turning your [ __ ] turning.
your [ __ ] forefinger one inch but it. was a flex to the lady like damn that. guy's a chauffeur keep it running like. it's him it's you from the. past but that's my. cherur sorry guys my rides here my rides. here no one stole it huh no they. respected the eclipse I guess I mean. sometimes I would put the Flash on I. think it's like there's a lot of reverse. psychology there you know it's a lot of. General Sherman hiding in plain sight.
yeah very much very much of. thein how they behaved um I love the. idea of and how old was that guy at the. time is that depress 52 handsome pretty. good at tennis handsome he could wear. short shorts love that he's a. foundational guy Foundation plus-size. guy middle siiz middle size midsize yeah. love that I see love to drink he's a. vodka orange juice guy in the morning. even morning Drinker and I guess a.
divorced man yeah if he was hammering. I'd lived with his family before that. and he gotten well through the divorce. yeah and then he got you in the. divorce he's like how the [ __ ] did I end. up with my son's adult friend in the. divorce this [ __ ] got the house I got. Theo playing [ __ ] tears of Heaven. while I'm trying to get keep a heart on. and meanwhile you can barely hear the. song cuz there's a Mitsubishi.
Eclipse the fumes are coming up through. the underground garage you have [ __ ]. poison you have CO2. poisoning oh man dude that's [ __ ]. awesome That's crazy dude was that your. weirdest that was probably one of my. craziest living situations but I always. lived for cheap man I slept under my my. buddy's bed for probably 7 months out in. Flo in uh Los Angeles when I first got. out there I lived in this little. cupboard that was in a um living room.
they had like these two cupboard doors. and it was like four 3 ft High okay 4T. wide just the bed no there was no bed in. there it was just a floor right that we. put but it was long and it was like. probably 8 ft deep so it's perfect I'm. going to bed boom get in there like a. bird little bird house or whatever yeah. yeah yeah yeah and I like come out right. on the hour you know right right. right I was always sharing dude I slept. on my buddy's floor for $150 in college. in a sleeping bag and I'd [ __ ] yell.
at him complain about [ __ ] but he needed. the money. [ __ ] it's so [ __ ] funny I did the. say I I similarly I convinced my friends. to give me a shitty room in their house. in Baltimore I lived for 300 bucks oh. yeah uh a month I had a room they were. just like I was literally living on the. my my go-to meal was beans and eggs on. one I would bake them and put them on. one sheet and that way I could just use. the sheet as my plate I wouldn't have to.
do dishes I just after I'm done eating. the beans and eggs into the washing. machine directly into the washing. machine with the condoms from the 18th. century yeah hang it off the [ __ ]. close line don't mind if I don't mind. please please hang them let the. neighbors. see we're fully operational over here. mhm no no 1/8 of a Viagra needed um um. this episode is brought to you by better. help better help when there's when your.
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top rated doctor today that's Z. do.com. tzach. do.com Theo what did I see in the news. oh I saw did you see that Mark wallberg. Restaurant W bers the CL burned down. though he had a new. restaurant a fancy one uh let me see. Mark Wahlberg's new restaurant in Las. Vegas burns down opening day opening day. wow Mark Wahlberg was excited about.
today because he's supposed to open up. his new restaurant fletcha Cantina. fletcha went up in Flames just hours ago. check this out this is Town Square and. it's obviously fully involved with fire. here and we have gotten a ton of emails. to this station inviting the cameras out. because Mark Wahlberg was going to be. there around 4:30 this afterno on the oh. no you can see the Flames inside they. were going to get the oversized scissors. out and welcome everyone in for the. grand opening so obviously that's they.
defrauded dude you. think you think you think that's just a. plate of fajitas that was sizzling too. much you think that got a little out of. control a great point do we know it's. not just a really intense. fajita it is fletch a Cantina after all. go back and show that window right there. that does look yeah like and they spray. that that flavor on it smoke or whatever. M like Greece we have uh yeah.
yeah maybe a flambay we do a saganaki. Greek people the cheese you set on fire. oh yeah a lot of different stuff it. could be I don't think we should draw. draw conclusions right away yeah dude. that's crazy I thought it was a burger. shop he was doing but that's wild. they're going Mexican now Fletcher yeah. doesn't sound I gotta be honest does not. sound appealing Fletcher sounds too much. like flesh fletcha I he it's a regular. like I'm going to fletcha Fletcher. Cantina no thanks yeah it's kind of. bizarre Cantina I'm okay with he's done.
some interesting things you know he had. an alcohol but then he said he didn't. drink and then he came out with a. tequila which I thought was kind of wild. interesting interesting what do you. think that's about I don't know I think. it was just when when when like. celebrities coming out with Tequilas it. was purely a business move yeah like. when George Clooney came out with one. one time I was in Toronto I'm sitting. there it's like probably 12:30 or. something you know a.m. I'm just sitting. on my computer in the lobby dude um. hoping to meet my wife or whatever. yeah at 12:30 on your computer desperate. for attention probably I don't know.
that's [ __ ] awesome I can't remember. why after a show you're just there uh I. think I was doing shows yeah gotta so I. was just hanging out um because yeah. it's funny after shows you don't want to. go to like bars and [ __ ] yeah it's like. you go to a bar you're going to see a. lot of people from the show going be. overwhelming and then if I don't drink. it's hard to be there so it's like you. don't there's nowhere usually to go sure. no that's true restaurants are closed. usually so then you can go to like like. gas station sometimes ice cream or your. hotel sure but I'm sitting there and I.
feel something on my neck right here in. this [ __ ] Mark Wahlberg dude. pretending to have a gun. yeah he's like caught you slipping you. know or however you know you have failed. the the keep it on you CH or CAU lacking. challenge yeah yes you failed the CAU. lacking challenge by Mark walber I was. like look at this [ __ ] Boondock Saye. out here was he in that movie he was not. oh damn one of the joke. land but he does embody the spirit of. The Boondock Saints question yeah he.
thought he was in it but I said that and. then he invited me the next day to his. tequila opening he was actually really. nice he had a nice group of friends. really chill he seems nice but it's also. like that level of Fame where people. start to go insane in a like polite way. like a guy like it doesn't seem Sinister. but it's insane to wake up at 3:00 in. the morning to work out yeah and play. golf and like is crazy and like 3:15. yeah go to m 3:15 wake up pray for 1. hour I mean I know you know whatever.
this I don't know if he yeah 2:30 I mean. that's not a time to wake up 2:30 a.m. wake up 2:45 a.m. crypto prayer yeah. 3:15 breakfast 340 to 5:15 workout. that's a long workout respect. post-workout meal only 2 hours after. breakfast that's wild shower he gets an. hour and a half for shower. that can't be real right hey dude I have. definitely taken some sad showers yeah.
but that's not when you're [ __ ] when. you when you're a regimented like. planning an hour and a half shower you. don't plan hour and a half showers. you're so [ __ ] up that you take an. hour and a half shower I've taken some. of those too Theo I'm not judging but. that's when I'm hung over as [ __ ] and. I'm like should I just [ __ ] do drugs. at 700 a.m. like that's like that you're. spending 45 minutes convincing yourself. not to take pills that's what those long. showers are man they're not thinking. about the Lord in my [ __ ] bicep curs.
I'm so high I should go in the shower. yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe if I'm in the. shower I won't purchase a prostitute. that's what that that's what that shower. maybe if my hands are wet I can't. [ __ ] use my phone so I won't [ __ ]. bu and hate myself the second I nut. that's what that shower's about that. shower's not reflecting on your 315. breakfast and look we're cross promoting. our own lives here with yours we're not.
talking about Mark this is from ours. this is we're yeah we're putting a. little the personal into this. Rift yeah. yeah but yeah it's just got to be W but. you open a restaurant dude opening day. and that thing Cooks that's crazy that's. you know I think um I'm trying to think. of anything good burnt down bu us when I. was growing up ooh any good fires I. don't know if we have I only have hate. crimes in my neighborhood which are not. fun to talk about just idiots that.
didn't understand that Indian people. weren't like after 9/11 some [ __ ]. idiot in balore Indian person get [ __ ]. yeah they just B just a guy a seek guy. who wore a turban he's like he's Osama. Bin Laden so I'm G to [ __ ] burn down. his [ __ ] Mini Mart you're like that's. [ __ ] that guy's a. librarian you know that guy runs a. 7-Eleven the library in the middle of it. yeah literally he was like a [ __ ]. nice guy um I just went to a nice Indian. restaurant here the other day called um.
uh Bungalow nice I love that I like a. nice indian yeah there it is this Indian. oh uh VI vcas vcas is the chef there Vos. dude he let us sit at the chef's table. they put a little table right by the. kitchen it was it's fancy but it's not. crazy fancy um I got this guy on the. podcast it was just fascinating to like. uh eat Indian food learn like just about. some of the energy and why they have. certain things it was it was that looks. awesome I'll check it out ton of Indian.
people and he said a lot of Indian. people don't go out to dinner because a. lot of them cook at home yeah and they. always want they always believe their. cooking is better than other places I. get that I understand that I mean I do. not believe that at my. place well what your tra the traditional. Cadia smoothie yeah yeah a slim jim. quesadilla that's what you grew up on. and nobody can make these better than my. mom owl meat fried.
rice little bit of squab in. there from the holidays littleit maybe a. nice maybe a nice posum rib roast a. little bit of Pon we call it huh little. bit of [ __ ] uh sidewalk. oysters you know what I'm talking about. um what were we just talking about uh. the Indian people will not go out to eat. right but that restaurant was really. great man went there that was kind of. cool I love that I went I was in England. I was in London and I had Indian food. and it was so incredible yeah yeah well.
you know that's the one upside to the. [ __ ] the British Empire it's like if. they they brought Indian food along if. they [ __ ] up India the least I can do. is go enjoy a nice meal yeah as a result. you know they're there either way yeah. so but it was good as [ __ ] it was uh. you'd be a good Indian I think thank you. man yeah thank you I appreciate that. 100% man yeah I've got some Buddha. qualities I just think um yeah they. would Harald you I feel like well they.
do respect the cow so I have a bull kind. of like a bull yeah I think they would. just yes I kind of like a bull you could. like an Indian sumo wrestler I would. love that we that be one of your another. movies it's like you go to India to be. the first Indian Su wrestler put you in. some semi off Brown face yeah I don't. know about that I don't know if yeah. maybe I'll just get a nice tan huh I can. I can get pretty crisp dude can you. Greek Mediterranean blood you know maybe. that's it maybe that's what happens I. get such a tan that someone mistakes me.
for an Indian signs you up signs me up. to be the first Indian sumo wrestler and. there we go India's first female sumo. wrestler defying odds and empowering. women hatal Dave is her name hatal shout. out to hatal hatal Dave's journey in sum. wrestling is not just about personal. Triumph it's about rewriting what's. possible for women in India love that. push them around hital love interest. yeah I could I could smash an IND an. Indian Suma wrestling woman no problem. that's love dude that's love absolutely.
I can't really tell I'm going to say yes. I'm going to give it a a hesitant yes. from that picture that I would smash I. me for the movie that she could be your. yeah and I'm saying you know I want to. do it for real you let's see what. happens huh yeah let's see what kind of. Sparks Fly on set yeah yeah dude that's. all it is dude you know you think of. romance maybe is possible between you. and Spade maybe you got just have like a. come become gay later in life no there's. a gay uh there's I think Tim Dylan might.
be in it okay small part or just who do. you think sucks who off then not. it so TBD bro to be. David DVD to be. Dave so we'll see what God wants out of. those guys love that yeah yeah I can see. Tim doing that pull what about what. about the election over there happen man.
did did people go crazy out here in New. York did you feel any of that energy I. where was I I just felt so glad that. it's over I was. filming um Philly taping yeah we were. taping we're doing tires doing tires. right um how exciting is that too tires. [ __ ] rules yeah I mean what's it like. between the second season and the first. season or is the set different cuz it. set's not different same but we yeah. we're in the same spot and um uh it's I. think it's going to be [ __ ] great I. mean the first season I didn't even know.
when I agreed to do it I thought it was. going on YouTube yeah like it was like. Shane texted me there was no like agents. involved there was nothing he was like. Hey we're doing this thing they didn't. have scripts we were kind of writing. [ __ ] as we were going like I was. supposed to have a small part and we. just had like so much fun doing it they. kept like adding me it was like so fun. and we felt like we were just making a. fun web series you know what I mean like. uh cuz I loved Gillian kees was so. [ __ ] funny there sketches were so. good and and I almost was in one and. then it like fell through and so I just. wanted a chance to work with those guys.
so Shane hit me up I was like I don't. need to know [ __ ] let's just [ __ ] do. it and it's insane that this thing that. we did in honestly D we did in a few. weeks and then we did like a couple days. of re-shoot and it was a [ __ ] show. that was top 10 on Netflix for like two. weeks it's insane my mom liked it yeah. yeah yeah and so and so I think I mean. we've been shooting from. I think we started in October and we end. in the middle of December and so it's. you know much more time they actually.
had a real writers room they went over. the scripts we have I don't want to you. know I'm the least important I don't. want to give away too much but there's. like a bunch of cool actors in it you. play the brother right I play I'm. basically like their uh I'm basically. like are the dad the other manager no no. I'm the I'm the guy who's not in the. family basically I'm the guy who's like. it's like a family tire shop and I'm. like the kind of middle manager M who's. just kind of in the middle of it you. can't tell if I'm good at my job or not. just kind of a pig again pretty hard.
role a horny idiot it was really hard. for me to get into into the character um. but it's going to be [ __ ] good man I. mean and those guys are great I mean is. it shot on sticks or is it shot like uh. the office I've seen it it's just been. probably four months since I saw it I. mean it depends but it's mostly I I. would say it's mostly handheld they have. some some you know steady shots but no. it's we have the whole crew is [ __ ]. awesome and oh it's so much fun man that. girl in it is so good KLA crushes it.
well that's that's what's awesome about. like you gotta love Shane because he. legit brought his friends along yeah in. like a very Sandler way but the second. he could like Steve gerbon who is you. know so good he's the man he's the lead. but it's like they did open mics. together you know what I mean like uh. that whole crew Kyle the same thing and. and mckever who directs it is so [ __ ]. good. he's such a great director Shane's a. great actor and it's it's awesome it's. just great to see that kind of [ __ ] and.
that that's funny [ __ ] and it's again. and people saying people fixing tires. yeah yeah yeah well he what this country. was founded on right right right right. right misogynous fixing. tires yes you're going to have to deal. with a little bit of misogyny but we're. going to get you back out on the road. yeah it's like you want the chassis. tightened up or not that's been the. story of our of. history but yeah I mean it's a re if.
you're setting us some [ __ ] in a tire. shop that's how those [ __ ]. behave you know what I mean like you got. to be realistic about like a trans male. swimmer in there or something oh that. would be yeah we need better tires yeah. that would be good these tires ain't. tired enough on the way to the maybe. maybe on the way to the meat you know. what I mean bring them in see get the. fellas Reginald has a magic Tire yeah. yeah you're like what the [ __ ] is. happening no you need a [ __ ] all. people want is just art art to reflect.
life man let's be realistic and if your. thing is set in a tire shop yeah that's. how those guys have to behave yeah I'll. watch the swimmer show yeah that's fun. and they can go do you know they can. [ __ ] talk the way they actually talk. and if you have Tire guys talk the way. they talk that's what you just need is I. think that's people just want the. reality of stuff yeah it's like um I. agree and those guys are funny as [ __ ]. my dad's a contractor those guys are. hilarious growing up around these. [ __ ] morons they're stupid as [ __ ].
and they they they they rag on each. other so much it's [ __ ] awesome it's. great and the office was set in an. office and yeah you can't really say. wild [ __ ] in an office so it it can be a. little bit more mainstream but if you're. going to do some [ __ ] in a tire in a. family-owned tire shop yeah it's like. anything goes there we're talking yeah. that is the Wild West absolutely a. family-owned like that's the Gaza Strip. of [ __ ] there's no oversight there's.
no oversight no matter what no matter. how many reports the UN writes you're. not stopping that you're not stopping. the [ __ ] family-owned tire shop from. saying racist [ __ ] you just you can't do. it it's that's how it goes same thing. with diners I mean yeah you can't I. would don't let don't let a teenager. work in a Greek diner okay just don't do. it you're going to have don't let don't. let the hostess work for some guy the. evil variant of me from a different. universe that has same hair open black.
polo you know what I mean you don't want. him [ __ ] you don't want him sexually. harassing the hostess you know what I. mean no well I just as long as the guy. who's making my food has has a like a. thing of toilet paper stuffed up one of. his. nostrils I don't give a [ __ ] as long as. one of the line Cooks is going through. active. withdrawals dud hey you want your egg. scrambled yeah just by his hand just. holding there with a spatula freek.
restaurant same thing look there might. be some chest hair on your lamb chops. but it's going to be the best Lamb Chop. you've ever had in your life you really. want to get the [ __ ] food safety. people involved in this you want a bland. hairless Lamb Chop be my. guest God lamb huh the py of. beef I agree game me it really is kind. of you know good [ __ ] you're like what. part of the Lamb is this this is good. dude oh I love a nice [ __ ] Lamb Chop. how um how does it feel you're kind of.
youve become a staple of your favorite. football team how does that kind of feel. every time that's awesome I love the. Ravens it's [ __ ] sick uh and I have a. show I have a show at the lyric uh which. is I did it last year I did a bunch of. shows this year I'm doing a couple for. the holidays it's [ __ ] nuts to go to. your F the team you grew up rooting for. and it's like they [ __ ] put me on the. Jumbotron dude you get a Big Pop I got. to [ __ ] yeah you get to I got to meet. players I get to meet what player is. that that's real fan Dan oh okay who is.
uh yeah he does the r a v NES dance oh. he gets it. go yeah yeah yeah yeah I yeah the chapel. rone version Chapel Raven dude Chapel. Raven That's me. dude and yeah yeah they put this on the. Raven Instagram account the official. Ravens Instagram account let me put on. [ __ ] a helmet yeah you got to rip a. dart on there next time they wouldn't. let me they wouldn't let me mention guns.
M or suboxen. yeah which is crazy also suboxen Wilson. is a player there too which is yeah. great on the edge great on the. edge not allow dude bro the Saints have. um the Saint the someone keeps tweeting. about the the pope keeps accidentally. tweeting about the New Orleans Saints. dude can you see you can find that. yeah awesome were you you were a are you. an LSU guy are you a here's who I like.
I'm a Saints guy but they've been under. under delivering for the past few years. yeah and that's been um Pope Francis. keeps accidentally tweeting about the. New Orleans Saints so that's where we. are hash Saints are formed by the. Beatitudes poor Meek merciful hungering. and thirsting for justice seeking peace. okay yeah so there have some issues with. the refs yeah um yeah I think the Saint. the post went up before the Saints lost. to the ly Carolina Panthers marking. their seventh street defeat God is Not.
on your side they took it out but in the. actual tweet he was showing the Saints. logo every time he hashtag. [Laughter]. Saints wow there he is right there thank. you for your prayers pontiff we need. them wow interesting but that now does. that prove there it is does that prove. the the Catholic God is Not real cuz a. tweet from Pope Francis doesn't even get. you to beat the [ __ ] Panthers that's. a good point I'd like to see you know uh.
Muslim guy tweet about you I'd like to. this is a good way to see who wins yeah. yeah yeah this is how we can tell who's. right yeah each religion tweets about. the New Orleans tweeters start your. fingers and they rattle off and they. rattle off we get you see who really. gets is it Islam is it. Judaism they all get a shot they all get. a shot Catholicism Wick yeah get some. [ __ ] fat [ __ ] with black. lipstick to put a curse on your. opponent tear out a raven's heart oh.
dude one time I was walking on the beach. in like Destin Florida out at night and. we like we were kids and we got to go to. the beach and I met this girl out there. pretty Ruben girl you know love that and. so she's like I want you to hold me in. the water or whatever and it was like. I'd hidden like a bottle of wine then I. told him someone in the sand earlier in. the. day so I'm out there literally digging. in the [ __ ] Sand by myself under like. probably pretty decent Moonlight right. sure [ __ ] digging in there and uh. like I'm one of those like like watching.
the Grunion Run or whatever like like. I'm a pregnant Turtle trying to see how. many of your babies make it to. see literally I'm just looking for a. bottle of Zin fendel putting my hand in. and and uh then she came up and we had a. couple sips out we were talking and. stuff and she's like I want you to hold. me in the water so then we out in the. [ __ ] water dude love that kissing it. was [ __ ] ridiculous was she any. Wiccan or and she was a Wiccan yeah. interesting interesting did she do any. chants or enchantments to you no she. just said some stuff she didn't believe.
in this and that and she was wicking. interesting and that she had to be. pregnant by a certain time or whatever. and you didn't oblige you're like I'm. out you want this white tail or. not I was like this Zen fendel is gotta. [ __ ] go. fendel um did you did you encounter any. like because I I think about like New. Orleans it is they have some spooky some. spooky [ __ ] any witches any like Voodoo. [ __ ] do you ever encounter any of that. stuff I stole money one time off of a.
altar there and I and my life was bad. for like seven months. and swear to God I believe you here was. the crazy part I stole the money and. then use the money to buy peanut butter. M&M's. right hexed for peanut butter M&M's and. so that was horrible and I finally and I. I was on the road for a while and then I. finally got back home and I put the I. went and put twice as much money back. and it was all good after that but we. grew up there was a lot of pro like uh. those like uh snake [ __ ] Protestants.
you know sure sure sure sure now hold on. what kind of alar and where was this. altar this was in the French Quarter. outs like on the edge of the French. Quarter gotcha and it was just kind of. out there yeah they just had a thing put. together and it's interesting how many. different type because Greek people have. like when somebody we have like the kind. of like a little altar for like your. past loved ones and if you think about. it it is even though we're Greek. Orthodox that's so clearly like a. a pagan ritual you put a little altar. for the for the deceased that's not in. like Christianity anywhere just you know.
but I wonder well I wonder if there we. should spend more time communicating. with the deceased you know like helping. reli you know is there anything that. they need to tell us it's like we're. just like [ __ ] be you know like once. they clock out we're like you are off. the [ __ ] yeah we're going to. mangianos having some pasta in your. memory and that's it yeah they just like. cuz the Mexicans do that every year they. let you they let all the you know let. them out for one one last Fiesta yeah. like on Ms 31st or whatever Halloween.
night they let all of like the family. members come back you know you ever see. Coco the movie about that uh yeah I. think Joey Diaz is oh no that's I'm. thinking. of Joey Diaz is in Coco I thought he was. in. it that's awesome [ __ ] tremendous you. got to deal with your generational. trauma you [ __ ]. sucker stop the Bing on your grandfather. to said to turn your life around that's. awesome I think I did try to watch this. on a plane or whatever this legitimately.
destroyed me when I saw it what happened. was so me and my brothers um we had a. tradition where we would uh take some. kind of hallucinogenic whatever big like. uh Hollywood release was out that you. know like a big fun action movie or like. like Star the first the first time we. did it was the new Star Wars prequels. where it was like we didn't give a [ __ ]. about Star Wars that much but yeah you. take some [ __ ] acid you watch Star. Wars it's going to be [ __ ] awesome so. we would do that on Christmas or around. Christmas fight your.
stepfather yeah yeah you really you. really will actually you will it did. cause some issues there [ __ ] surprise. attack with a catalytic converter out. there boy I'm [ __ ] oh so yeah we did. that and then one year we were going to. it was Aquaman was coming out oh yeah. forgot to buy [ __ ] tickets ahead of. time thought for sure there's no way you. know Aquaman's gonna be sold out and. then we forget so it's sold out we get. there I'm already on assd oh my God and. we're like all right let's just get back. to the house ASAP we're all [ __ ] ond.
we didn't have we couldn't so then my. brother's like um Coco is pretty like. colorful this could be fun dude it's a. story all about family de like my best. friend's mom had just died we were like. it's a story all about like family. and and dude I'm just tripping my nuts. off just stoping and being like dude I. thought I was going to watch Jason mimoa. fight a [ __ ] punch of fish in the. head and now I'm thinking about my dead.
grandparents and if they're proud of me. or. not it was so [ __ ] up dude wow and. then my brother I was like sobbing so. much afterwards my brother's like all. right man and he just put on Thor. Ragnarok for me to just [ __ ] calm. down like like I was a [ __ ] baby you. got like here's your [ __ ] dumb movie. cuz I would watch that on acid a bunch. that was a fun thing I would do he put. on windy weather foot on on YouTube yeah. he puts on softcore pornography with.
huge tted women he's like here you go. buddy your favorite stuff girl Wendy. weao is a children's oh no sorry I I was. just thinking I don't know what Wendy. weather foot is I was just going into. stuff I liked Yeah Wendy weaf foot is a. nature-based animation series on. YouTube if you like children in nature. you might like it right that would have. been a better thing to calm me down yeah. but yeah it was [ __ ] up how much cocoa. on acid when I was not emotionally ready.
to deal with it how [ __ ] destroyed me. dude destroyed me but you know acid is. just such a wild thing that they make. yeah cuz first you're like you're. telling me this little bitty square of. paper isn't going to do [ __ ] is going to. remodel the way. I experience the world completely [ __ ]. my brain up is going to make me hide. behind the c your. yard and cry about what how your parents. met each.
other I don't know God dude same thing. last the last one we did was Avatar and. I literally was [ __ ] crying at that. too but that was more like the movie was. affecting me I was like oh [ __ ] dude the. [ __ ] little guy's GNA die I was. [ __ ] crying and like moments before I. was laughing at what a stupid movie it. was and then they kill a character I'm. like oh he's [ __ ] dead bro my. brothers were just laughing at me they. weren't as [ __ ] up as I was just just.
the attendant is just shining a. flashlight right in your eyes you give. him your license that's when you're. [ __ ] up at the movies yeah you give. your you hand the guy your driver's. license guy just shining a light on you. oh dude I've been watching all those. like around the holidays I'll start. watching a lot of those um military. people come home videos o that's that'll. [ __ ] do it to you for sure surprise. at the school while we look for that one. more time I was on asset at the movies. um I was the people in the theater.
thought I was a special need because I. was what was it what gave it or what. gave them the impression I was again on. I was actually on mushrooms and acid at. the time and it was a packed one and B. you know you you familiar with Babu. frick he's a little Star Wars guy he's a. little Star Wars Muppet okay and every. time Babu frig would come on I would be. like yeah would be so happy cuz I was so. on assd I was so that I kind of returned. to being a [ __ ] baby and so he was.
just a cute little Muppet guy and every. time he'd come on I'd be like yeah. B I couldn't stop laughing and people. were mad and then they looked at me and. then I saw I saw them be like like their. faces soften because they go this guy's. special needs there's like there's no. way they thought I was like some. teenager they just looked around it's. like there's no way a man this old and. fat is not special needs if he's. reacting to Babu freck this way and then.
and they looked at my brother my. brother's like sorry and they were like. oh no it's. fine dude I. uh I don't even know what to say now. some memorable acid you're not acid on. movies me and my buddy well I've told. this story recently this just one that I. remember but we uh we went to the Waffle. House in our town right and we got there. at like 4:30 in the morning and there. was a. gay um or there was a a homosexual Urban.
male in their waiter right we've never. seen a gay black guy right wow how old. were you we were probably 14 right okay. that's big yeah it was big dude we're. very excited that's some of the funnest. that's one of the funnest type of guys. in the world oh we're were so high dude. and we're so we're so high that all we. could do is [ __ ] laugh on. hallucinogenics or just we taking some. LSD cool and so we went there cuz it was. open it's the only place that had lights. out where you could be somewhere and be. young and not have to as long as you.
were buying food you had a legal reason. to be there I'm legally here for. breakfast right well we started laughing. so hard may I use the hash browns. defense i' like to enter the hash browns. defense sorry go ahead no it's uh so you. guys are [ __ ] up oh and we're so. [ __ ] up my buddy starts laughing so. hard and starts [ __ ] choking he's. laughing so hard the guy the wiow starts. giving him the. [ __ ] maneuver dude so there's a bro I.
laugh I F my that's I mean that would. destroy me my body was coming out of my. [ __ ] body dude I was doing like this. I was like and my buddy just getting. [ __ ] remodled by this breakfast. brother dude just [ __ ] reshaping him. bro smothered him [ __ ] and what style. of gay guy are we talking does he have. like eyeliner strong small but strong. yeah small but strong like um just. posture and the way he talks what do you.
mean his words had flare on but didn't. need to have it on right right that's. not mandated by he had so much on you. almost thought he was like one of those. people that blows up the balloons or. whatever like what is this guy yeah he's. selling them he's like he's like yeah. blow up some breakfast yeah he's being. fun yeah being fun great attitude great. God great attitude saved your friend's. life yeah I went to SNL the other night. too that was pretty cool when saw bur. [ __ ] yes dude aesol it was cool just to. be there you you ever been there I've. never been there no I want to go and I.
have I mean I have friends who are on. the show now and like it would be cool. to go but I just you know always. traveling never he Saturday it's a hard. night to to be they'll probably ask you. to do it this year I bet no I don't. think so I'd love to but I I would. absolutely love to yeah I mean I don't. want to [ __ ] you know it seems like. because I have friends who were on the. show and it's like seems like a hard job. that's the thing we as as much as. stressful as it is to like have to put. out [ __ ] constantly and be touring like. you're still Your Own Boss I can't.
imagine as that's a great you know. that's a huge comedy show that people. still watch but you're somebody's. [ __ ] employee yeah I can't imagine. doing that anymore dude even if it's a. cool [ __ ] job just being worried. about my performance at work I can't do. that [ __ ] dude that's [ __ ] crazy but. I would love to it's a dream to host it. but if I yeah that's why I say like I'm. a uh. I work for myself and I'm a hard person. to work. for yeah absolutely I'm My Own Boss and.
my boss is a [ __ ] idiot and my boss. is an [ __ ] my boss is an [ __ ] he's. a [ __ ] yeah he's a closeted. homosexual as well hey that's a. lot. okay if I saw you in. Houston if your name is Mark and we. hooked up in Houston hold on guys let me. start over Sor you can't help. it the dad. just God that was.
so but I had to play in the dark and. that was a challenge I remember that. that's good for your understanding of. the fretboard yeah you know it's more. intive it's more uh yeah SN know was it. was cool to see well bur B Bill bir. dropped into a lot of the characters he. like the acting part where you're like. doing the characters he did a really. great job he a good actor man yeah he. really like try you know it's like cuz. some of it it was like kind of you would. think it's a little little cheesy or. whatever but he like you know you got to. commit you're there you know what I mean. like sketch comedy in general is a. little is a little cheesy but if you're.
going to do it you got to [ __ ] do it. you know what I mean it was cool McGee. played H yeah um that was pretty dope. I'm trying to think of what else. happened any he uh go to the after part. or anything like that I didn't go yeah I. heard that it's interesting they line up. like limos and people all from the show. go get in the limos and they're just. waiting outside and it takes everybody. to the Afterparty interesting so a show. of force it's kind of like how nor Korea. has a bunch of tanks and stuff SNL's. like we got 12 limos yeah don't [ __ ]. with us we're going got what we we got. 12 limos going to the Dave Busters in.
Time Square yeah. yeah and all of our drivers are addicted. to porn if you're in North Korea you see. that that's awesome dude salute to those. guys that they made a big mistake once. once someone gets a little taste of. pornography you tell me they're going to. go back to no porn this could. legitimately lead to the toppling of the. North Korean regime little Dabble dude. North Korea soldiers in Russia gain. internet access view lwd. videos this is from Ukrainian world.
congress.org where the [ __ ] are you. getting your news man huh the same place. everybody isan world congress.org what. the [ __ ] this is a website we made a. half hour. ago this is all news now it's whatever. you want it to be a usually reliable. Source this is from this. article tells me that the North Korean. soldiers who have deployed to Russia. have never had unfettered access to the.
internet before as a result they're. gorging on on pornography that's awesome. gorging is crazy gorging mean the equip. what's gorging like the equivalent of. cuz I've gorged on food yeah prob mouth. open use couple of phones going at. once I don't think it's their best. soldiers I think they're sending. Expendable guys there's no way Kim. Jong-un is sending his best Bo out there.
they're sending he might want to get the. the [ __ ] out of his ranks he. might have sent the [ __ ] out. 100% let's zoom in on a coule can I just. say he looks awesome look at that fit. bro wow I want to dress like that for. real you can do that man I need those. pants I need that [ __ ] leather jacket. is that goat leather yeah yeah where do. they get it from it's shiny he's looking. awesome oh he looks great I think. especially over the years um he's really. figured his Lookout mhm he's coming he's. come into his own they say he gets. massages every day and you interesting.
and facials too I'd love that I would. love to live like that I would love look. how high the one dude is on poring right. above your cursor to the right zoom in. on that guy right there right there just. zoom in on that guy right there there we. go I can't go any I oh you can't sorry. enhance let's get a shot of that guy um. the hats are pretty the hats pry High. great. hats I've watched that much porn.
before or one of my ears turned really. red d That's crazy man yeah that's a lot. cuz he's lost all the blood from that. ear and it's gone translucent cuz that's. all pump into his [ __ ] that's all being. used brother all non-essential blood is. being redirected to your dick when you. see porn for the first time in 40 years. oh dude I remember at school when I. would have to take tests I would [ __ ]. tie my legs off like this to keep the. blood like up by my brain oh so I'd be. able to have more um oxygen in my brain.
help me think that's where did you find. out about that who told you about that. was that just you know what I mean good. idea just good idea did it work yeah. pretty good pretty good student you know. love that dude yeah it was fun man it's. being aive back then [ __ ] beautiful. leg skin oh yeah leg skin looking like. these days you don't really show off the. Gams too much I don't that much yeah I. mean I put my way today that's not bad. you know that's not bad I mean yeah I'm. yeah they won't be in Westminster but. you know they won't be in the dog.
show but I do s I think if I get in the. gym for a couple weeks I'll show them. you know please do I will thank you man. but see that's the thing that's a. blessing of being a foundational man man. yeah yeah we got some thick and I'm even. hiding the calves too I what what. bothers me is i' love I'm a little too. milky white up here oh you got those. Force Five walls right there baby those. things are category three yeah oh yeah. you could hang out D you could hide two. [ __ ] behind that you could you could. you could take shelter behind my calves. no problem I would love that yeah dude.
what else is happening man anything else. want to talk. about police uh seized a goat from an. 11y old girl and she won a $300,000. settlement what is up with cops taking. [ __ ] animals dude yeah something. happened with a m s squirrel too huh I. don't understand why people are [ __ ]. it's just like bureaucrat like who gives. a [ __ ] and good for this girl she won. 300K now I don't know all the facts. hopefully this goat wasn't biting. people's dicks off or.
whatever it turns out the goat was a. [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] but if he was just. a nice little goat Vanessa. Shakib yeah it's tough to know um the. goat was seized by sheriffs go back to. the top a little bit sheriff's deputies. in 2022 while living at a North Carolina. Farm and was later slaughtered why did. did they eat him as outlining court. documents you can't slaughter a goat for. no reason for no reason I agree no not. for no [ __ ] reason cops like nah. we're getting this guy out of.
here and the Goat just. like yeah the the sheriff's debut did. nothing than enforce the law yeah right. I who knows if this is even right and. then they got this squirrel or whatever. he did something some dumb [ __ ]. snitched they shouldn't have killed. peanut but the [ __ ] who snitched is. obviously the biggest villain in here. but also the cops overstepping cops love. killing a [ __ ] animal when they can. man they do they'll shoot people's dogs. for no reason they just [ __ ] like. killing [ __ ] like them down it's just a. [ __ ] par yeah yeah he had a gun yeah.
the the Barrett had a. gun oh man what do you think of the. world right now things feel okay now to. you are you scared cuz I know there's. the there's the the election right yes. do you what are people truly scared of. do you think when they talk about Trump. cuz but what is it I kind of start to. wonder what do people be scared of I can. tell you right I mean the thing so for. me you know I didn't love either.
candidate here um I didn't I really. didn't understand being enthusiastic. about either candidate um I think you. know I'm not a trump guy obviously I. think he he is dangerous and the things. that I'm scared of the most and the. thing that made me that made me lean. towards kamla was more than anything was. the Supreme Court and that um it would. be if it's put under like far right. control for the next however long we've. already seen you know women's right to.
you know over their bodies the the. abortion you know roie Way's been. overturned which I think is really. dangerous that's going to like really. affect Women's Health Care uh already in. states that banned it you see they're. getting less just general OBGYN care. because it's more dangerous to be a. doctor in those States so we don't think. about [ __ ] that trickles down so like. it's harder to get just general Health. Care let alone abortion in Texas now for. women and that's only going to get. harder in rural States and I think for. me that was the number one issue that's.
really [ __ ] scary to me well. especially with the Border being open. they're letting rapist in it's. [ __ ] you know what I'm saying though. it's like you're just yeah well yeah I. mean I don't know if it's the best time. to repeal that yeah yeah yeah if we're. going to follow your logic and you claim. they got rapists coming in maybe we. should also keep abortion but you know I. think we got of homegrown rapists too. but you know we've got our own. sure we've got some some heirloom.
American rapists for sure um Jesus. Christ but I think I think that's my the. number one thing that scares me is about. that because it's not only that's the. first step and I think you can really. see stuff that we take for granted is. progress gay marriage is another thing. there's a really weird cultural I think. this is what happens. anytime uh the party that's backed by. the you know the powers that be big. business the rich PE the richest people. in the world want farri politicians and.
I think if think still absolutely. without question I feel like Tech is now. I I just feel like the part is is a was. the huge is a huge Trump guy that's a. good point I think rich people have will. support whoever's in power number one. but they want to transfer wealth from. the poor to the rich they've been really. good at doing it the biggest issue I. think the reason the Democrats lost is. because. they pretend that there is no problem. that it's like that's [ __ ] crazy you. have to tell people that yes there are.
issues here [ __ ] is more expensive I. think inflation I think a big a big part. of inflation is that companies realize. they can just charge you more and say. it's somebody else's fault a lot of it's. price gouging that's you know that's. [ __ ] true and the but you should. everything get so much more expensive ex. be and companies are some of it is just. real inflation but some of it is. companies are hiding behind in infation. and like there was no Democrats did. nothing to stop price gouging right they. didn't even say they were going to do it. that um you can't tell people that.
things are going good when they're just. clearly not and there were just no it. sucks because they offered the. Democratic part has become like they. were going after [ __ ] Dick Cheney and. Fu who was like so bizarre it's crazy. because they're going after policy-wise. Mo you know moderates Republican. Republican people who most working-class. people don't agree with uh the economic. stuff that they're saying and then. culturally it's not it bothers me when. you become a a a party of like.
tattletales it's like it's become a. party of like middle managers that want. to get mad at you if you say the wrong. thing and it's like that's not [ __ ]. that's not the most important issue the. most important issue for people is that. things are [ __ ] more they have no. Health Care uh wage inequality is out of. [ __ ] control we're not the people's. wages have not kept pace with how much. bosses are earning yeah well what. percent I mean Bernie Sanders said. greatly that he thought if AI starts to. happen for companies right so companies.
are making more money because of AI. because they don't need people yeah. right then some of that money should go. to the employees of course as opposed. and cutting cut down their hours for the. week now you give them a better life. instead of just making it where well. [ __ ] well we don't need you anymore yeah. you know so you don't get anything and. we keep all the [ __ ] profits and I do. think I mean think we talked about a. little bit last time where it's like AI. is a tool to [ __ ] do creative [ __ ] is. it's so weird when it's like it should.
be making normal people's lives easier. it shouldn't just be for rich people to. be able to charge less like you there. should be some protections for workers. and we should be able to like you know. you should be able to [ __ ] buy a. house all these [ __ ] regular issues. that weren't really hit on it was just. well you got to vote for us cuz the. other person's worse and even though I. think that is true that's not a winning. message that's nothing especially when. the other side is offering they're at. least saying shit's bad well and they're.
saying it's for the wrong reasons I. don't think it's immigrants fault it's. definitely not fucking's people aren't. the people buying up houses and not. letting you buy it you know what I mean. like I don't but at least they're saying. something's wrong and they're saying. some [ __ ] up [ __ ] in my opinion. they're trying to make it culture War. stuff they're trying to divide people. who should be on the same side by saying. uh oh gay people bad people are bad when. it's like the people trying to [ __ ] you. are rich people that's how it's always. been that's that's the [ __ ] that's. that's a tail as old as time like and.
it's weird some people think they're. going to be [ __ ] billionaires when. they're when it's like they don't make. off crypto or whatever they're like well. when I'm that rich I don't want to be. taxed and it's like you [ __ ] don't. you live in you're you're sharing a loft. bedroom with your dad friend's dad who's. taking dick pills you don't have to. worry about [ __ ] tax rates going up. don't bet on yeah bet on yourself now. bet on yourself right now man how about. how about we raise some of some [ __ ]. some taxes on the on the richest people.
and you get some [ __ ] Health Care it. just I don't know man I just maybe I. shouldn't have ADD it's a lot it's a lot. just it's frustrating because I that but. even having said all that I think what. people are scared of the most with Trump. is just yeah man the Supreme Court being. taken over by like um ideologically. really right-wing cuz now the Senate is. rep repan and there's like you know. taken over by that that's scary that is. scary to me because we could see a lot. of stuff rolled back that is that we we.
take for granted as fundamental and. stuff that's just progress we can argue. over like you know economic issues. whatever but some of those things that. does scare me when it's like gay like. women's rights be so wild if you got. groups in there that were like you can't. do gay anymore yeah yeah we're re we're. taking away gay Mar whatever but then. you'd have all the gay have to 10 or. straight again or whatever yeah yeah. back in the closet boys like a come on I. just threw away all my straight I just. threw away all my Dockers what are.
youing I just away all my [ __ ] plaid. shirts just [ __ ] burned all my Doc. Martin and just lay in bed holding my. high school. girlfriend what are you gay guys and. lesbians have to get married. again and then [ __ ] other [ __ ] on the. side hey you know what there was. something Admiral about those days. though look you got you got I respect. getting a nut anyway against the against. everything well just the hard work just. the you know the effort that people put.
into being gay sure whereas now some. dude just like all day being. gay just Wily [ __ ] neilly just. burning the gay candle at both end y yep. doing pilat he's the only guy in the. class which was the gayest thing you do. I used to have a gay roommate for about. four months and he would chew gum in his. [ __ ] sleep and I was like what is. going on he have a defined jawline he. was a figure skater he could jump over a. Toyota tcel the front wow just the front. yeah side to side couldn't go that's.
insane he jump literally at an angle and. kind of oh he do the spin the axle it. was crazy that's awesome he could axle. over F yeah where where' you meet him we. met him um we were shopping my buddy and. I were shopping for firewood and we met. him at a v one afternoon we just moved. to Los Angeles he was doing tricks in. the parking lot yeah just doing that. [ __ ] Pio just your budd's like hey. pal ease off the tcell I just I just got. rid of the Mitsubishi I can turn this.
[ __ ] car off the last thing I need is. a gay heel going through my. windshield yeah I tone it down huh tone. it down hey just buff he's just buffing. it with his feet as he passes. over well I do think some things that uh. I do I will say this though also Donald. Trump C pain harder mhm than [ __ ]. anyone for a 78-year-old man yeah it's. unbelievable yeah I mean I think he.
loves the attention of age you know what. I mean but to even do it dude like I. just can't even believe I mean that like. blew my mind just how um how much he. could do you know I think that's his. favorite part though you saw him he was. a he was electric on the [ __ ] mic bro. he loves he loves getting he loves. crushing dude he's like he loves getting. in front of this crowd just [ __ ]. riffing like I dude you think that. [ __ ] wants to be in meetings or. you think he wants to be talking to the.
nek boys about how he used to get [ __ ]. in the 80s or whatever the [ __ ] he was. doing like that's the part he likes he. doesn't want to listen to [ __ ]. reports about [ __ ] stats and numbers. and [ __ ] no he wants to eat a Big Mac. drink a Diet Coke and go on busing with. the boys he's like parah. faet oh yeah yeah yeah cut the mics let. me tell tell you a little something. Suzanne Summers yeah yeah funnest I will. say I think one of the funniest guys. that's ever had though entertaining. without question that's the thing I'm.
not going to sit here and tell you he's. not [ __ ] he's funny as [ __ ] which is. I think why things are so that's why he. was able to sneak through if somebody. was saying the exact same [ __ ] with no. humor at all it would be horrifying it. would it would be it's [ __ ] he says. insane [ __ ] and but it's funny as [ __ ]. and he seems gay he's a New York gay guy. who happens to be straight I guess well. he be I mean come on he's his mannerisms. his little pursing of the he behaves.
like a gay guy is what I'm saying he's. got Queen he's a he's a he's he seems. like a gay guy from. Queens he's from Queens he has like that. little him in que [ __ ] spray tan no. he's from Queens oh he is yeah yeah yeah. yeah spray tan he I'm saying I don't. think he's gay but he does have gay. mannerisms okay well this isn't dude. doing this doing this like his little. [ __ ] where the gays for Trump that. was the best like where are they they're. here yeah yeah couple gays for Trump.
where the squirrels for Trump they here. look at them where's my. africanamerican blacks for Trump where. two of them right there let them loose. let them loose. Guys somebody Whispers in his ear uh. good to see you boys har Tubman's. here dude the best was he brought up. Nicki Jam he thought it was a a woman. she's like Nicki Jam is here beautiful. and it's a [ __ ] dude some dude off.
Instagram Nam Nicki Jam some dude with a. mouth full of Zen rolls up there just. [ __ ] spit and stay awake juice into. the [ __ ] audience no he's so F but. that that like I'm not going to sit here. and tell you the guy he's so [ __ ]. funny I we like I but so it's a court so. that's one thing that because I I just. hear that a lot people like I'm so. scared what are you [ __ ] like that's. a part I just never believe the. government's going to affect my life. that much I agree with you the Pres the. presidential the president doesn't have. that much power uh and if it wasn't for.
the Supreme Court I would be like who. really gives a [ __ ] the Democrats didn't. run any kind of coherent campaign they. don't want to I I hope I hope this will. make because look I my politics are. further left than that I'm not a. Democrat registered Bernie is the only. guy I liked in a long time because I. thought he was the only human being who. was like a real in person of Integrity I. think Donald Trump just is a the idea. that he's different from politicians is. crazy he's a rich guy who had you know.
he grew up rich he's a class president. for sure Ty yeah and it's like his dad. you know he was like a his dad was a. [ __ ] slum Lord he's just a rich guy. who's [ __ ] over people on deals. forever he's I don't like I you know I. have class issues right I don't I tend. to not trust Super Rich guys and and I. don't see how he's going to do anything. different I think it's naive to think. he's going to be different than I. understand not trusting the Democratic. establishment but it's like to me. Trump's funny but he is he's a [ __ ]. billionaire propped up by other.
billionaires that's I think he's part of. just the the complex that runs our. country and I don't think he's any. different right the only person that I. like it's going to be a challenge to see. if he is like I mean it'll think you. know he was already that's the other. weird thing he was already we're talking. about him like he's the shaking up Force. he was already [ __ ] president he it's. not he's not new that's what's weird. that both of them were that was a foul. hit both of them had it was like and K's. like it'll be different like let's. [ __ ] I know go home and make it. different right now and that's why.
absolutely you're in off you're in power. right now do something God knows Joe. ain't doing [ __ ] that guy's been having. ice cream for six months I know and they. pretended and when they that's what. that's what lost me as as a Democrat. when they that's when they lost me was. when they lied about when they just I. just didn't like the way they treated. that old man you know it's not [ __ ]. cool cuz he believes he's doing great. totally so he wakes up every day he's. listening to the music he's [ __ ]. riding for his bike he's looking for. [ __ ] yeah what are they doing here.
he's looking awesome honestly dude is. this the end of Amazing. Race To. Heaven it looks like he's just about to. finish a [ __ ] Marathon but he just. got out of his car and they're still. pretending every day he's a they they. just told him the other day he's the. [ __ ] mayor of Wisconsin and he's like. and they're giving him un chees Cur yeah. unlimited ice cream and milk well and. that's why I agree with you I think it. they made a [ __ ] huge mistake [ __ ]. bizarre this running him again like when.
he ran the first time it's like I get it. people were scared of another thing of. trump so like put some [ __ ] you know. put some middle of the road ass Democrat. but then they should have had an Open. Primary like a railroaded thing people. could actually vote on the issues they. care about and they just didn't do that. and and she even had an opportunity to. if she came out with any [ __ ] um you. know I'm just pissed off she didn't. release any new music there yeah there. was nothing new it was all B remixes and.
nobody likes Biden yeah and you can't. just hit and she Tred to go after blacks. with a mixtape you got a [ __ ] little. production yeah it was she dropped a lot. of diss tracks yeah but no yeah nothing. you no yeah just didn't hit but look man. I think it's just crazy how um I don't. know it'll be interesting it's a lot of. pressure to see I'm I'm most excited. about RFK and uh JD Vance was super cool. when he came on the podcast he's a human. Trump's hard to get to know I don't know. that JD to me he seems like a.
traditional just say whatever it takes. to get elected snake to be honest with. you I know you know you had him on he. was cool here but he was a guy who said. he hated Trump he said some [ __ ] up. [ __ ] about women like I just think he's. a f and venture capitalist guys are. [ __ ] worms to begin with I don't. trust JD Vance at all I think he's a. piece of [ __ ] also so yeah yeah yeah I. mean just I think he's a cut in the fu. regular ass Republican that'll say any. [ __ ] [ __ ] up thing to to get into. Power he sucked Trump's [ __ ] after.
saying he was he called him Hitler or. whatever and he he made a complete turn. when he realized it was politically. advantageous to be on Trump's side I. think he also is just a run-of-the-mill. piece of [ __ ] politician like I just do. and that's I think all politicians is a. weird thing to be right of but that's. what I'm saying that's what I'm saying. is like I've never been excited about. the politics I've been excited about was. Obama when I was 18 I voted for Obama. and I think he did have a real. opportunity to do something and it.
turned out he didn't really do [ __ ] and. then and then he did yeah and it but. that's the foul that's the thing that. always happens yeah at least that was. something that was like and I think part. of that was Obama was just too. inexperienced I think if he had a little. more you know he didn't know what he was. doing with the Senate his the healthcare. thing got completely [ __ ] and. universal healthcare care it was bad it. was they didn't they they ended up some. cups I still have some a set of Cups. they sent me nice dude you got you got a. mug that's the yeah no it's like kind of.
like some plastic cups of but I still. use. them but he got worked over by thinking. he could um. actually uh you know find common ground. with the Republicans they should have. just rammed the legislation down their. throat they had both both houses at the. time anyway whatever yeah the and the. only person I I was excited about was. Bernie because I think he was actually. in that run in 2016 he was like he would. have been cool would have been cool but. the Democrats shut that [ __ ] down I hey.
man well one I I like Vance as a guy. seemed like a nice guy I know that like. like he's like you know they say like. Peter teal is like the guy that got him. in office that sort of thing but then. you start to see that all these guys. have backers will things be different. with some of these guys I don't know I. think but one thing that's cool is that. we both like Bernie I like Bernie too I. would have voted for Bernie see that's. the is I think those ideas unite people. because he's just saying like look we. have issues to deal with There's real. issues we're not going to pretend shit's.
good when it's not and let's find real. ways to do it that everybody gets and. every that's real equality he wants to. help everyone because it's not about. it's not it's not a [ __ ] it's not. about like you know cultural [ __ ] it's. about economic [ __ ] and more people are. disaffected because of the you know. people at the top and I think that's a. message that. everyone can agree with and I think when. when people aren't looking at things. ideologically if you just ask them about. issues people agree on a lot of [ __ ].
issues they want to be able to [ __ ]. buy a house they want to be able to. afford [ __ ] and they want to be able to. [ __ ] you know get healthare how many. people do we know like I have you know I. know people extended extended family. stuff like that that are struggling off. [ __ ] that they shouldn't cuz somebody. got sick and it derails your whole. [ __ ] family we talk about that all. the time it's [ __ ] up dude the number. one calls of I mean we say say this all. the time now because it's one of the few. facts I know but the number one cause of. bankruptcy in America is medical debt. crazy and so it's a [ __ ] the whole. system is a money laundering scam and I.
don't know why that hasn't changed and. if you would think at some point one of. these [ __ ] groups would be able to. change the [ __ ] you know it's I mean. there is so much money in politics and I. was right but it's just the it's so. people are so fed up with the [ __ ]. system I I just you almost want there to. be a war to end it all or whatever I. know what you mean man I do know what. you mean and some people do believe that. some people think there's no way. something has to change cuz this is not. changing over time right yeah some.
people believe Revolution is the only. way to [ __ ] do it re hey Tony tried. to start. one that was the main reason cop like. Shane said it too on his podcast it. would have been so funny to be able to. blame. Tony one it would just be a like you. bombed so hard that that the part your. candidate [ __ ] lost. how fun would that be to tell Tony for. the rest of his. life that's actually the thing I'm most. pissed off about Supreme Court is number. two after being able to mock Tony for.
the rest of my life that's what that's. what I regret the most about the. election oh he was sweating I sat there. and watched it with. him he was sweating man I think we could. I I know that we could do better in this. country about um being making useful. things I was just looking the other day. in Japan is it in Japan where they have. the the sidewalks turn power a [ __ ]. building you're walking by them the. [ __ ] building's powered by people. walking on that's [ __ ] cool yeah our.
infrastructure is so [ __ ] too it's. like our trains don't even work. highspeed rail we need like dude our. trains if you're on a train the other. day it got robbed by a bunch of people. on. Horseback like the is getting the. [ __ ] the 310 theuma. treatment it's unreal dude you go to the. Post Office you go in there you're like. yeah I'm looking for this package you. give a piece of paper the guy comes back. 2 days later and asks you who the [ __ ]. you are right like where have you.
been I know dude what is even going on. it's [ __ ] crazy it's crazy it's. falling around dude yeah but it's like. meanwhile we have all these homeless. people wandering around town if you put. them all in an area and set up one of. these cuz this Flor and Japan turns. footsteps into electricity play a bit of. it there so you you're thinking in Japan. even walking gener. electricity Tokyo Metro like voice in. the world the TR electric technology and. expl to convert the energy yeah I mean.
but if you can get 50 or 70 homeless. people to power a Jamba Juice or. something you know agree with you dude. how [ __ ] great would that be they. come out they dance for 12 minutes or. whatever and Bam the [ __ ] it's. exercise for them it's good electricity. the blender's cut on in there and they. get a free smoothie for their trouble. what are we T but instead everybody's. like they need p bills you know it's. like [ __ ] that's a perfect example. though of homelessness it's like give. them homes yeah we have the ab we know. what it takes like make [ __ ].
apartment buildings and like that has. been shown to work and most people just. don't have access but there is all this. weird like you we'll create nonprofits. to to help the homeless that cost more. than just getting them little apart give. them recipe. books yeah yeah and they'll just keep. busting them back and forth he's like. it's basically political parties play. Red Rover with them I know what they. should do is is instead of busting them. sign them up for Southwest miles and.
then they get some [ __ ] miles out of. it give them a Southwest credit card. every time you ship them from Texas to. New York to [ __ ] wherever the [ __ ]. and then they can go on vacation you. know they can earn some to cough about. the cabin some gu just hacking up a. [ __ ] dead Sparrow in his throat and I. only say that cuz I was in Frisco one. time my guy threw a [ __ ] bird at me. for no reason oh my God it was a sparrow. it uh it was small enough small enough. it could have been a um a warbler but.
I'm going to get him back we'll see you. put an air tag in his in his bindle and. you're tracking him you're going to get. him back every time I close my eyes I. still see what he looks like you know. that's horrifying I Birds to me are. unsettling creatures to have one thrown. at you is very tough the the dirtiest. surprise yeah. listen a new movie let's start a c out. on VOD right now go to Apple Amazon. wherever you like to rent video uh. movies go check it out please I'm.
begging you we got the calendar we have. a new tour coming out the Dreamboat tour. and yeah I really appreciate you having. me on dude it's always so fun this is my. favorite podcast to do it's so much. [ __ ] fun dud I love it you're the. best so much man I'm come back in. December so I can do yours in please. yeah would love to have remember I. didn't even know you were the guy from. ctown that I like was so fun dude you're. like I met that guy I was like it was me. dude that's crazy dude but I love that. that's awesome would it be yeah we'll.
[ __ ] play some clap D I'll have you. play a little guitar while I get my dick. suck it'll be like old times dude just. take those old records off the sh thank. you s you're the man now I'm just. floating on the and I I'm like these. leaves I must be Cornerstone. oh but when I reach that ground I'll. share this piece of mind I found I can. feel it in my.
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