Stavros Halkias | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #439

I have some new tour dates I would I. would like to announce. um we are trying to come everywhere I. know people are like you got to come to. London you got to come to England. you got to come to Vietnam you got to. come Normandy there's places everybody. that people have been asking Kansas City. so we're trying to get there it's just. uh there's only so much you know time. works and and we're dealing with that. and. and everything so we're doing our best. but I would like to announce that we. have Guilford New Hampshire at the Bank.

of New Hampshire Pavilion. we have Windsor Ontario on August 18th. at the Coliseum at Caesars Windsor. that's in Canada we have Niagara Niagara. Niagara Falls Niagara Niagara Falls. Ontario on August 20th at the Fallsview. Casino some of those venues are larger. uh but we will make sure that there are. screens in them so you can see.

the pre-sale starts Wednesday April 12th. at 10 A.M local. with the code rat king and the General. on sale begins Friday April 14th at 10. A.M local we've also added a ninth show. in Austin Texas on June 10th at the Bass. Concert Hall and a seventh show a new. show in Phoenix Arizona. uh on April 30th at the Arizona. Financial theater those tickets are all. available get all your tickets at.

theovan.com t-o-u-r. um make sure to go there for the most. accurate pricing. um and not off the secondary sites and I. know people are asking come to different. places you know and we're going to come. there uh just give us some time thank. you very much for all your support. um I did a show this past weekend and it. was in um. Fort Lauderdale and it was the largest. show I'd ever done and it was just it.

was scary. um. you know it was just learning a new size. space but people had a great time and uh. just thank you guys so much I can't even. believe it. all right we have new merch I want to. let you know to check out the new root. beer hoodie. if you want the coldest root beer then. get that ice cold drip uh and the four. piece enamel pen set we got a beautiful. little pen set right there you can put a. pin on somebody put it on somebody you.

love or. put on somebody who needs love or put on. yourself. if you're even if you're burying. somebody you hit him with that pan. send them with that be good to yourself. all the way to heaven. and you can check all that out at Theo. vonstore.com thank you so much for uh. wanting to support us and and wanting to. support the merch we do our best. today's guest is a stand-up comedian and. a podcaster uh you may have seen a. special live at the lodge room which.

came out on YouTube last year he also. hosts his own podcast stavy's world. where he offers advice to callers he is. Greek he's a Greek man or child was a. child. and he has a new crowd work special. coming out on YouTubes this week called. four nights in New York City I had a. great time chatting with him uh today's. guest is Stavros halkias.

[Music]. oh. wow. thank you. [Applause]. you know you get to some of those rural. areas or something like that and people. will bring they'll bring their sister.

out there yeah it's like an event dude. yeah yeah hey you gotta meet martha like. they're like people are like it's like. going into town yeah like it's like an. hour and a half they like stock up on. like dried goods and then they go see. Theo Vaughn and they're like I guess I. gotta get kidney beans for the winter. well I'm in the well I'm in Portsmouth. and then I gotta go back to my little. [ __ ] cabin yeah I gotta get some. cornmeal and I gotta get up I gotta get. uh Cindy Lou. a little Cindy Lou Hut Cindy Lou Who.

Needs A Cindy Lou husband yeah go to the. dentist too yeah my sister you gotta. come see her here oh dude that would be. such a come up for some somebody in like. a rural ass New Hampshire if they got if. they successfully got you to like if. they basically sold their sister's [ __ ]. for entry into your life you know what I. mean like that would be [ __ ] that I. mean that's what marriage was truly back. in the I mean purely transactional like. oh take my daughter off my hands here's.

it was the opposite you had to like give. a [ __ ] goats to take your and. why would they do it because you're from. Greece yes so you there was a lot of. that over there was a lot of that my. grandparents are in arranged marriage. straight up my grandparents like it's. not even that [ __ ] long ago Dude. um and it was arranged marriage is what. they have like you so arranged marriages. they say all right guess what yeah. yeah yeah this [ __ ] guy you don't. know Darren yeah yeah yeah Stavros. actually yeah my grandfather Stavros was.

married yeah the guy I'm named after. hilarious guy is he and now were they in. love or did you could you notice that. they were arranged dude there you. there's never a more ranged couple in. the history of the world like my. grandfather was so [ __ ] she like it's. funny because you find out about him. later on and you find that about like. the guy he was outside of this weird. toxic marriage and he's like he would. help homeless people he was like really. politically active he was like you know. Greece was really the politics after. World War II were really [ __ ] up and.

he was like you know fighting fascists. and she's like he was like a cool dude. but all I knew him it was is the guy who. like wouldn't let my grandmother turn. the lights on because it because it. [ __ ] took electricity but he would. buy he collected rare birds. and he would get like my grandmother. would go to like the [ __ ] cheapest. like he wouldn't go out of pocket he. would have to go to like the government. doctors but he would buy his birds like. special [ __ ] pills for their coat. make their coat shiny he would buy. vitamins and [ __ ] this [ __ ].

would not let her like if she ran the. [ __ ] fan on not the air conditioning. forget they didn't have air conditioning. if the fan was going too long he'd be. like toothlessly he would be like what's. going on in there let's cut it off right. down yeah he would just Shuffle and he. would just [ __ ] cut he wouldn't even. say [ __ ] I'll have this owl flap its. wings for us. yeah that'll keep things cool. hell yeah my [ __ ] cockatiels we get. we need nothing but them yeah we don't. need a ceiling faders have I have two.

two cans that are here have a way boys. yeah dude wow but yeah beautiful must. that have been though back in the day if. you didn't have a ceiling fan but you. could train like six warblers to just. yeah like fly in a little circle in your. living room that would be that would be. really picaresque yeah you know you'd. feel real Whimsical and then that song. Oh Come All Ye fish. absolutely. yeah you'd have to train like parrots to.

sing you yeah you don't have a fan. you're not you don't have a [ __ ]. record player that's a good point. actually yeah the old bird uh applier. yeah. welcome to star versus all birds. appliances yeah he said yeah my. grandfather's like The Flintstones but. with birds in Greece in like 1992. it's. like fully fully had like upstairs it. was Modern this [ __ ] had uh like. his personal fan yeah he wouldn't let. her cut the ceiling fan on but he had. like a fan before the guards like it was.

literally a fan with three sharp ass. blades no no. he had a fan from before they had fronts. they hadn't invented the front of the. fan and I was like what the [ __ ] is this. we're like being like a fat 10 year old. who's like just wants to be in air. conditioning and play [ __ ] you know. PlayStation and I have to go hang and. like the worst part of our vacations in. Greece were like go hang out with your. grandfather and you know he's just. making like spaghetti that is so boiled. it just disintegrates on your tongue he.

has no teeth. it's like a baby you know what I mean he. just shred and cheese on there and he's. like come into my come into my [ __ ]. room him and my grandmother obviously. had separate rooms oh yeah so yeah is. that a Greek thing or not that's like a. that's uh they hated each other their. entire lives okay yeah so adulthood yeah. exactly exactly which is very I guess. now it's Progressive like I if I got. married I would want separate rooms oh. yeah yeah come hang out we'll still. probably sleep in somebody's bed.

together most of the time but like I. gotta [ __ ] have my especially we. travel all the time yeah and people now. I think there's things now like someone. might even snore at a certain octave oh. yeah it's crazy the Nuance yeah that can. lead you to sleep somewhere else from. your spouse or to want to have some. space for sure no I mean I gotta I got a. CPAP dude you do oh yeah I'm fat as [ __ ]. dude I gotta have a CPAP and does CPAP. what does it do does it like process the. fat at night or something I wish that.

would be sick if it just jiggled your. [ __ ] no you get so fat that it's. dangerous to sleep like you get so fat. that you might just like like when. you're fat friends if they've ever like. passed out next to you and you're like. oh he snores funny it's like he's. fighting for his life oh like it's like. it's like and actually not I mean fat. people have it more than non-fat than. non-fat people but like when you hear. about like a healthy guy who's like he. ran every day and he just dropped dead. into sleep sleep apnea like it happens.

to us like like non like bad snores and. [ __ ] and that's really [ __ ] bad for. you because it's like imagine if you. never got a good night's rest ever your. entire [ __ ] life and it just like you. know adds up so like it'll [ __ ] it'll. [ __ ] it'll [ __ ] you up and that can. happen with sleep apnea that's what so. sleep apnea is uh let's bring it up. there yeah let's get sleep apnea on the. board yeah. show me sleep apnea. what the hell that's just Steve Harvey.

things that make my wife wet. leave. [Laughter]. happening is a potentially serious sleep. disorder in which breathing repeatedly. stops and starts wow so it's kind of. like that new button that they have in. cars a lot yes push to start if you're. pushed to start and you're [ __ ]. Nissan Maxima was on the fritz yeah and. you just stopped in the highway you. might get [ __ ] rear-ended and that's. basically suffocating in your sleep.

that's a fat man yeah. he just. he just settles down like you're in a. stoplight. starting off again yeah yeah just one. big they replace one nipple with the. butt with the stay alive button yeah. just pinch it. and one time instead of she she walks. over softly right yeah and you think. she's gonna go press the button that's. how the movie ends yeah and she brings. her other hand up and there's just.

flowers and she sets them on his chest. wow and she walks out of the room and. frees all the women that he's been. keeping in the basement oh so he's also. a sex criminal and goes downstairs and. tells Grandma turn on the fan turn on. the fans yeah uh oh grandpa Stavros is. dead and you hear them. everything is free suddenly yeah you. hear a strangle all the [ __ ]. cockatiels. you hear all the birds who were his. accomplices in the sex crimes they were. he trained birds with like he would put.

suction cup dildos on their heads and. they would fly rape images. let's take this scenario all the way. landing and women from just the air. just like oh damn somebody's just going. for a walk or something. yeah dude just getting raped by [ __ ]. toucan. dude one time I was in New York and this. lady comes walking up was my first time. ever there yeah and she go did you see.

that right and she kept pointing and. somebody had I guess jumped off a. building nearby because a lot of people. were gathered around God damn you know. and she's like did you see that did you. see that and so I'm looking up there and. then I said did I see what and she just. showed me her uh. vagina and she goes that guy landed in. my [ __ ]. so is the. and that's an awesome bit awesome bit. you're not thinking about looking at a. [ __ ] oh not at all she tricks me with.

the building and then she goes that guy. landed in my [ __ ] and showed me her now. what's going on it made me so scared. yeah and I just gotten into the city. yeah dude you're like whatever what they. told me back in Tennessee was right yeah. they're like what they told me back in. the [ __ ] some guys like buy two. cannolis or you'll die in an hour like. it was all kind of like street street. mystery going absolutely got it scary. now I wonder what she's thinking there. in terms of first of all you don't see a.

lot of female like flashers which is. kind of cool so salute to her to kind of. like bringing the glass ceiling of like. sex crimes she's breaking it by flashing. her [ __ ] because it's hard to get a guy. not to want to look at your [ __ ] also. you know what I mean they're up against. they're up against that most guys will. at least take a peek even if they don't. want to [ __ ] out of curiosity I'll look. at most ladies [ __ ] just to all right. I'll take a I'll take a look yeah you. know I mean I don't know what did she. look like was she like [ __ ] and I. like to say Cooter honestly I do want to.

say that I don't okay yeah I just don't. want these are cultural differences well. if somebody could be with their kids or. something sure sure okay yeah woman I. imagine I don't want the kid to be like. hey mom what's up right right but if. Mom's like the kids like hate me yeah. what about mother you know Cooter's cute. yeah and then volunteer like Cooter is. somebody that works at the gas station. right right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah so like you know there's a lot. more mystery there oh yeah but I think. if you look at a vagina like you almost. have to look at it from the bottom I.

don't feel like if you're looking. directly on it's like right it could be. any age right that's true yeah head on. you don't you're yeah you don't see the. wear and tear unless it's the the yeah I. don't feel like you wanna it's like. you need a reverse drone shot basically. it gets flying up right it just shocked. you I've never seen a woman. you know and she it was like reverse. magic like it landed in my yeah yeah. that's also really fun too to say that. he landed because what is she saying. there right that it caught her or is her.

cooter so tight that maybe that's what. exploded his brain yeah you know what I. mean it's like it was in the sidewalk. that's how my I can't say Cooter I'm. sorry it feels weird. it's just for me I could say it's not. better that's probably worse right I. mean it's all fine I think I just think. of different places listening you know. sure of different environments muff. how do you feel about muff uh that some. people used to say that does say people.

used to say all the time that nursing. yeah whatever. Cooter uh. uh gash is a clot [ __ ] oh he's more. British. right you do go through it I'm sorry. that it looks like it pained you the ear. [ __ ] I think I wonder if you have a real. distaste for everything but Cooter yeah. interesting I wonder Cuda sounds more. manageable it sounds like a animal. you're trying it's cuter for sure like.

yeah maybe it could be it could be a. like a Pixar character could be named. Cooter there he is look at her. [Music]. yeah that's awesome yeah no and she has. on Heels you know yeah of course like a. squirrel yeah like a squirrel makeup. but then nowadays he comes out on stage. he's like I'm a man right right. yeah yeah yeah oh that's interesting. look Cooter named after a [ __ ] now he's.

trans or she's trans I guess a trans. squirrel named Cooter that would. honestly. that's the odds of that being in a Pixar. movie are pretty high we're gonna get a. trans squirrel in a Pixar movie the odds. of that being the next lead in like. Lethal Weapon 11. I don't know Mel might throw his body in. front of that I mean I guess as long as. it's not a Jewish trans person he might. be down that's true do we know his. stance on.

no Jews we got that's pretty well done. you think I think so I think I think. about this room I think we got metal on. juice pretty nicely I mean you didn't. even have to hear his comments just. watch Passion of the Christ it's like. this is awesome dude you learned a whole. language ancient language to be. anti-semitic because that gives you. cover when you learn the ancient. language and bring it back from the dead. he's just like no no no I'm trying to be. real if that was in English they'd be. like Jesus tone it down on the juice but. he's like but you're like whoa this is a.

different tongue it's like I'm in a. different world I'm in a different place. so respect to Mel for that one yeah I. think look a lot of people I'm not gonna. say I I bought some of the merch. some of the unauthorized words yeah. like merch. um Stavros thanks for coming man yeah. dude thanks for having me uh so somehow. some audience might not know you right. and really I just think about my mom. sure because she watches the show okay.

and but yeah so you started out I know. you're out of Maryland yeah and is that. weird being like a like a white person. in Maryland or in Baltimore yeah yeah I. mean I mean look I grew up Greek I mean. I'm Greek and it's Greek are y'all where. are you guys because I know it goes the. rant on the rant on the race rankings. yeah well as an ethnic white it's like. it's kind of the I kind of consider it. The Best of Both Worlds because it's. like you know we're kind of we got we.

got our own Cuisine we got I speak a. different language we got a place to. vacate like the beaches are [ __ ] sick. um weren't here for slavery huge really. that's huge yeah no my family came over. here in 82. 1382 yeah. yeah yeah. you're so right yeah I mean I'm not. saying they they never found the boats. yeah. actually the boats are not the problem.

so you think Amistad was like just kind. of uh it was like fictional or it was. like a potential reimagining no I just. think it was like oh look I love Amistad. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm just. saying it's I think some things are up. for interpretation I'd be funny if you. thought slavery happened like the way it. was in Django if that's the only thing. you accepted because it was like the one. where the slaves win and you're like. yeah it was them taking advantage of us. yeah that would be a funny that would be.

funny if there's like a racist guy was. like slavery didn't happen except in the. way that Quentin Tarantino said yeah and. that's how it happened and we actually. need reparations to say you know that. would be a fun Twist on it well the way. the world is now I feel like. somebody could see a movie see a. documentary and that's the I mean I. guess I don't know what they teach in. school so yeah. I feel like it's like some people you. get all your information off of one. YouTube video yeah and that is your. future. for the rest of your life you're good.

dude you're all set on learning on that. topic yeah yeah it's real dangerous but. do you think you would owned a slave or. not. interesting. be here I don't know if this. conversation is going to be good yeah we. probably shouldn't move yeah like an. Abrupt cut I'm gonna say no though. before we do just for the record no and. then we can move on okay I'm okay with. talk I mean laughs. it's I mean yeah I wouldn't yeah.

me neither. so we're clear and folks for those uh on. uh listening I didn't do air quotes I'm. not saying anybody else did but I. wouldn't yeah no air quotes. air quotes of the new shackles huh. I don't know about that yeah here's my. old ball in there yeah yeah dude yeah. absolutely. um no look man I believe in Freedom man.

that's such an awesome take when we're. talking about slavery it's like me I'm. on the freedom side it's like that's I'm. with you too look here buddy yeah. but it was not I would say the key part. about again going to like the white mine. ethnic like uh group is if you weren't a. part of slavery yeah and you grow up in. like a uh in like a majority black city. that is a fun little like get added.

being accused of racism free card where. it's like I 100 like when they're making. fun of the white trash kid whose family. like you know came over here in Ireland. 300 years ago uh who couldn't afford. food who probably also couldn't afford a. slave right right right no chance yeah. and yeah no way but he was around you. know. we don't know we don't know what he was. up to we he doesn't have the papers I. know for a fact some Stavros halcus 300. years ago was on a beach like fishing or.

something fishing for what though you. know black cod. black cod or [ __ ] cod with a d okay yeah. yeah no I don't think so more maybe like. octopus. calamari a shrimp or two yeah it just. depends on what he was trying to pull. out that's true yeah no they hang up a. black cod. well what's interesting about Greek. Greek uh. Greek racism is that they don't even. like they don't have a turn like don't.

get me wrong in Greece Greek people are. racist like you know there's plenty of. Greek people that are racist but there's. not even like a term for like black guy. they call like it's like it's like it's. all lumped into like Arabs like they. just like they consider black people. just like because that's that's old. school Greek racism because it's like. you know yeah the original stuff is that. the original uh yeah because Turks the. Ottoman Empire took over Greece in like. the 13 or 1400s and they really they got.

our asses good for like 500 years y'all. were slaves I mean yeah pretty much not. not like in the but like in a vassal. sense where it's like these. [ __ ] just came over we were. second-class citizens in our own country. kind of thing oh yeah but I've been to a. lot of people yugoslavians too for sure. no absolutely they the Ottomans the. Ottomans had a nice little run there and. all they got that was that piece of. furniture yeah off the strength of the. furniture they were like they what. happened is they would have real tiny.

little Turks hot they would hollow out. on it was kind of they used their own. move about the Trojan Horse with they. would hollow out these Ottomans little. Turkish [ __ ] in there pops out middle. of the night just [ __ ] slits. everyone's throat you know they were. smart you got to get you got to give. them credit yes. just a little guy nice with the knife. though nice with the simtar yeah. that'd be crazy smallest ninja yeah dude. so tiny little real little so ninja so.

yeah that's good that's a nice I would. love that's representation right there. this episode is brought to you by. betterhelp. that's right. better help. because we've all had moments where. we're not. we're not serving our best self to the. world. you know sometimes you notice you're. going through like what's going on with. me. and your answer is I don't know. and that may be where you need someone. to talk with if you're thinking of.

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that's for the people.com slash this. past weekend or pound 529 pound law from. your cell this is a paid advertisement. but one thing I'll say about the Ottoman. Empire that's cool because they were. Muslim and Greeks were we were Orthodox. Christian they gave they wouldn't all. the pork you know they think it's. unclean and [ __ ] you guys got it they. gave it to us that's how Gyros came. about that's how a Euro happened so if.

it wasn't for. 400 years of semi slavery in Greece we. wouldn't have a Euro and it's like. from where I'm standing that's that's an. easy trade I didn't have to be. semi-enslaved by [ __ ] you know Sultan. I'm just eating the [ __ ] sandwich. that came out of it so I'm pretty. [ __ ] pumped personally about it. oh God yeah damn oh yeah so you are. you've had a great couple last couple of. years I mean you've had a yeah you know.

no it's been a sick it's been crazy was. it was it what was it like coming up in. uh in Baltimore because I remember I. went over there to um mcgoobies oh Helly. the Goobs and I got offered a threesome. I forgot about that oh in Baltimore yeah. uh there was a woman and a man it was a. black female and a white male right like. I'm a dispatcher or something. yeah that's where the Baltimore flares. up in me it's like yeah absolutely that. is a very Baltimore thing. um and they kept kind of eat they kept.

kind of circle like they were hanging. out a little too long yes lingering. after the show and they have that bar. built yet no because now they have a bar. attached to it that's a good place for. like a crowd to linger to try and [ __ ]. you would be the bird but you're saying. you're just in the lobby of magoobies. yeah I'm just lobbying around out there. I'm just like a I guess a lobbyist or. whatever. yeah I'm just out there and they were. kind of hanging around and they were. like hey we just want to let you know. you know we live here nice if you'd like.

to come back and spend some time with my. wife you know oh so it wasn't even a. threesome it was like a [ __ ] situation. he wanted you to [ __ ] his wife in front. of him. maybe see I didn't know I guess I didn't. see like all there wasn't like a fan. foot or anything you know so I didn't. see all of the details yeah absolutely I. was like damn dude I don't you know. spend some time with my wife sounds like. I want you to [ __ ] my wife it doesn't. sound like hey you [ __ ] my wife while. she sucks my dick it sounds like I want. I'm gonna be in a little chair and I'm.

gonna be watching you [ __ ] my black wife. yeah that's what it sounds like to me. like he's just gonna sit on an ottoman. that would be good too because that. further that further like you know puts. him in a position of like uh not not my. dumb brain isn't working I was gonna say. a position of not power right which. shows you how [ __ ] dumb I am which is. there is a word I'm looking for and I'm. not gonna get it I'm gonna filibuster. until maybe I think of it like a. tertiary position no. no like uh it doesn't matter we're gonna.

like an inferiority inferior position. even more inferior position right yeah. yeah because when you're lower you're. more yeah you're at least more of a. Supporting Cast or absolutely yeah and. you would think if you're on a bed he's. on an ottoman he might be looking. directly into his wife's Cooter as your. [ __ ] is going in and out that was that. oh well you gotta I can't say [ __ ] yeah. you can it's just man.

[Laughter]. you you jump off a building and crack. open. like a Kinder Egg yeah and I'm full of. pornography oh it's just a bunch it's. like a uh it's like a couple of cast. members from uh black yeah or. bangbus.com. yeah they come out some teen was [ __ ]. inside of inside of a small bus inside. of my stomach that's what's going on. somebody wearing olives is wrist let's. just come out completely naked.

damn dude so but I'm just saying if you. were a cook a lower position where you. could peer directly into the action. would be even more humiliating in my. opinion you know what I'm saying yeah. yeah that's a shame you didn't take them. off have you ever been in a in a in a. three-way we had a woman or man somebody. emailed us one time and tried to give me. money to fly out there to um San. Francisco to make love to their wife wow.

interesting but only those couple times. let me think. I'm sure you've got plenty of you and. two girls in the Heyday when you're real. [ __ ] you know when you're getting [ __ ]. up all the time oh I think there was one. time I remember I was in I think. Missouri or something right. and they had this one lady and she was. just a real she was vibey she was just a. damn drum beat I love that dude yeah a. lot of silk what are we talking like uh. when you say vibe that in my head I'm. thinking belly dancer I'm thinking like.

you know what I mean. yeah I love how in Greeks with Greek. stuff even the dancer still has a belly. [Laughter]. nothing wrong with God's tit dude I bet.

now this would be interesting if women. got a nipple installed on that belly. instead of that whatever the hole is the. bunch is so outdated let's get that out. of there yeah. but not even a third one like a [ __ ]. awesome it's third right but it's the. biggest best one oh oh yeah it's a yeah. yeah it's like um. wow that's genius honestly dude that's.

you're a [ __ ] genius for that one. because that's that's like that's like a. [ __ ] taking your weakness and turning. it into your greatest strength in a. heartbeat yeah. I got a giant stomach. here's the best part yeah in a dude's. brain yeah it would feel like awesome. absolutely just this doing this. one giant titty so in your you close. your eyes it's like you're sucking like. a giantess tits like yeah like uh the. guy from Jack and the Beanstalk the guy.

at the top Charlie the giant right I. believe Charlie was the guy climbing oh. Charlie was the guy no it wasn't a Jack. or the one-eyed thing oh yeah. no Jack died I think his brother started. doing it oh [ __ ] okay it's like a. Gallagher too situation. he just takes Charlie just takes [ __ ]. Jack's whole [ __ ] and starts climbing up. beanstalks. he's a NEPA baby.

but yeah I remember this one lady from. Missouri so she had. she was real vibey she just kind of was. like. um she was cute sure when we say Vibes. so we're talking like hippie vibey. Crystal's vibey no uh just pretty clean. I guess clean okay a woman you want to. [ __ ] is what you mean I mean a woman who. it's like hey wow uh look at this clean. lady okay. if I would describe his body but you.

know again a culture somebody you could. lay next to and not feel like oh man I'm. gonna get like you know I'm gonna get. stains on my shirt or whatever like you. know just a. a tidy lady yeah I would say what you're. describing is like the bare minimum for. wanting to have sex with someone yes. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so. that's why Ivy all right no I got yeah. so anyway she invites me over. and she had a friend with her right and.

the friend had this very like um. she looked like one of those weight. lifters from like the 1906 or something. with the barbell that had the stuff. like 12 pounds of 7 000. of course so. she had like a singlet on like a one a. little curly mustache you know like it's. just like a yeah yeah it's like a. leotard or whatever like uh the Big Show. would wear yes yes she had that man and. she was jacked she's like I'm down to.

make love or you know try to try to make. love if you want to do it but my friend. is gonna do it also wow now the strong. girl is her friend yeah so the VA now. what would you say is the strong girl is. she vibey as well the strong girl is. more strong okay. okay and so you wouldn't you didn't [ __ ]. them I don't remember honestly what. happened I don't even remember that's. crazy you do remember I think it blocked. out.

you're getting [ __ ] deadlifted by the. strong girl I mean she grabbed you by. the penis and just. clean and clean and jerk you and then. sucked you off like she's [ __ ]. sucking your dick like this overhead. press oh. uh the other girl's just watching Martin. she's not even involved. [ __ ] that's crazy yeah well I hooked up.

with a strong girl I don't want to do my. ACT it's in it's a I do a joke in my uh. in the special about the tape in May but. I did hook up the strong girl and I. really did like it she was it was. [ __ ] sick yeah she had giant like. muscly ass thighs and it was like a. battle dude it was like I was in there. and like you know you're eating [ __ ]. it's like you're the strongest one in. the equation it's like you have total. control of the person's body while. you're going down on them. with her it was not I was nodding like.

it was like oh it was like when it's. like a storm on a ship yeah you're just. like Hold On batting down the hatches. it was like oh I was like truly like. Suffolk like she was squeezing like. sometimes a girl will squeeze her thighs. when you're eating her [ __ ] this girl. was doing that and I was like having. trouble breathing really because she was. that strong yeah but you also have. I mean that's like a c it's not as. that's like a c [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah cracking that's like. putting on the seat first.

yes yes yes but dang so do you have. trouble being down there yeah are you. like one of those like. fillet in like. pugs or whatever they can't breathe you. know no no no it's usually not a problem. the CPAP doesn't kick it no no I'm not. I'm not I'm not snoring into the [ __ ] I. don't wear that like that little dog a. pug yes absolutely and like why isn't he. soaking here yeah I'm like it looks like. two sneezes they're beating the [ __ ] out.

of him from the inside yeah I don't know. you better hope his [ __ ] have. allergies he's done. dander will kill your dog. no no no breathing problems luckily. while I'm awake and eating [ __ ] think. praise praise God for that one. um so you came out of Baltimore. yeah it is it's funny because you have a. real you sort of have like real people.

on the show it's so funny yeah it. juxtaposition between like you know. famous singers episodes then like you. ask one question we're talking about. eating strong [ __ ] for like 45 minutes. and it's like you know it's just such a. funny I love it dude yeah the show has. range yeah we try to. we try to well a lot of stuff it's like. I want to learn about in the most free. time I have to sit and talk with. somebody is in here no I get that dude I. fully get that you know so it becomes. kind of nice sometimes when you can talk. to somebody and learn about something.

new I wish that my memory worked a. little bit better sometimes but yeah. dude I don't remember [ __ ] that I said. or Taken like I love I've started. reading books just because I can't go to. sleep and my brain is so dumb that if I. read it'll be like it'll just shut off. instead of having to read you know what. I mean like so but I enjoy like I legit. have some kind of learning disability. and like and so that's just a trick for. like I put my phone in the other room. and I read and truly my brain will shut. off and I remember like like I'll tell.

my friends like dude this book was. [ __ ] sick the call you know I just. read this book called the cold 6000 and. I'm like and they're like oh awesome. what's it about I was like. um [ __ ]. there's it's like Cuba or like like. Kennedy's like I don't know [ __ ] but in. the moment I love it like I I retain. readings like minimally I could not tell. you any I'm reading a book about like. what the [ __ ] am I ready now altered. carbon it's pretty good it's like a. detective like [ __ ] sci-fi oh yeah is. that by Michael uh oh bro Michael oh oh.

okay yeah. yeah. it's kind of a bus it's crazy how every. tall black guy just expected to go play. basketball yeah that's gonna be there. should be like a rescue for that like. right like there should be a group that. goes into the NBA and just get ghosts. and a really good job long sweaters. get in the middle of the night like. you're not you don't know you you don't. want to be in here be a Drama teacher. yeah I'm a giant you want to work at the.

airport yeah you want to be a Veterinary. that would be sick. in his sleep just posting people up yeah. yeah it is funny though because that's. the only time where if you are over. seven feet you can be completely you can. have no coordination whatsoever hate. Sports hate basketball they will just. force you to play some level of pro. sports yeah like like that does have to. be annoying for the guy who really is a. [ __ ] in his heart and soul really is. a veterinarian he really wants to be.

spaying cats but he's got a [ __ ] you. know try and guard Giannis you know like. he's like I just want to [ __ ] snip a. Pug's nuts off right. [ __ ] CPAP machine. don't buy a Joel embiid right now that's. got to be at least one but you know and. they don't even I mean they make money. but they don't even if you're like a. shitty end of the bench big. they make like a you know you make a. million bucks two million I don't know. what the what the NBA veteran minimum is. right now yeah but if it's like if.

they're making the minimum and then you. know half that shit's gone for taxes and. 10 aging and [ __ ] it's like they're. really not that rich and it seems like a. horrible life to be you're traveling all. the time like if you're not super. [ __ ] rich and it's not cool if you're. just at the end of a bench and you hate. it and you'd rather be doing some other. [ __ ] yeah kind of a [ __ ] you know. worst case scenario yeah yeah it's got. to kind of be tough I think especially. you get there and you're like yeah do I. even want to be here but then at the.

same time you've done enough work to be. in but then I wonder how many guys lose. their desire because they don't even get. to play in the games yeah probably a lot. you know that's. imagine like being in a band there's a. band right yeah yeah there's def. leppards or whatever yeah and then they. have three four backup leopards. yeah they can hear right they're right. now I'm just sitting there on the side. yeah you know the first couple of shows. are like we're gonna get in the game. they're priming their instruments and. stuff you know or you go in you get to.

play one chord and they're like all. right come out the other leopards are. back in yeah with three minutes left in. a song they'll put you in it's like a. long song while the guys they want to. get a head start on getting their dick. sucked by the groupies yeah so they like. just call in the backup leopards that. would be sick but then you never get. into by the after after that 30th show. where you still are you still sitting. over there pretending are you doing you. know you and you and the other guy next. year just you know trying to do how many. zins you can do in your mouth at once. you know playing [ __ ] Zen daddy with. your buddy before you both leave your.

wife for each other you know. that sounds beautiful actually that. sounds like a love story yeah in in the. darkness of being backup bass players or. whatever we've concocted here they found. gay love two men nine cents. so that's actually beautiful I'm. actually I've turned around on the whole. thing now because I think that's awesome. maybe there's giant 7-2 guys or. discovering they're gay. with other guys on the bench.

that's a lot of gay sex by the way two. seven Footers [ __ ] each other in the. ass bro what are you talking about. just go like this dude. I'm sorry man you know what can I say. it's again cultural differences is a. real you know I came in in the tracksuit. Baltimore this is just kind of how we go. about stuff. we just kind of talk about people. [ __ ] each other in the ass pretty. openly I think so it's more more vulgar. East Coast that's true East Coast poor.

City yeah if you come from like a shitty. town you know you're talking about that. kind of [ __ ] yeah right. everyone's pretty outwardly horny. there's no like there's no like that. that veneer of like you know decorum. that you got in the south. where it's like you kind of hide your. desires. yeah but it's just hidden though it's. just hidden behind like something it's. barely hitting like behind a picture of. lemonade yeah you can see it you can see. yeah yeah yeah like oh right behind here. you have some pedophils yeah.

oh they got that here. [Laughter]. um how are we doing on audio and stuff. in there. okay oh yeah baby. um I also want to say before we go to. the next question that we then somehow. end up talking about two seven four guys. [ __ ] each other in the end we we got. strong we got strong girls [ __ ]. strong girls and then uh gay seven. Footers real fast I have a uh I'm on. tour and I got a crowd work special.

coming out tomorrow the day after this. comes out so congratulations yeah just a. little something yeah a little something. you know on the YouTube for free for the. people out there so go to YouTube I've. been trying to put all my [ __ ] on. YouTube I mean that shit's helped my. career the most it's just throwing [ __ ]. on YouTube unbelievably right it's crazy. yeah and so you're from clubs to. theaters so it did so for so that's like. there's like a little bonuses I don't. even consider this like a special it's. like a half hour crowd work special I. did like some shows to warm up for this. tour the fat Rascal tour uh and I just.

took I did four shows in New York and I. just took the best like moments and we. put it together so free special go watch. that and I also have my other special my. original special for free on YouTube. when I'm working on the next the actual. crowd the actual material one and this. and that first one really would you say. that that had a big step in pushing you. to a different space Oh yeah for sure I. mean that I was already just like doing. clips and [ __ ] which I thought like I. never thought people would want to see. 35 second or 45 second crowd work Clips.

like I thought that was you know I was. like well that's not what stand-up is. that's not what you want to do but I was. like I'm putting out a YouTube special. you know at the end of this year so in. like February of like the year that I. put the special out I was like well I. have like because I was recording every. show I did to work on the special I. would watch them back I was like I gotta. like try and make this good because it's. like you know people give me as like a. podcast they didn't know it was a. comedian so I was working hard on that. [ __ ]. and then I had all these like little.

crowd work moments and I was like well. these are we'll just throw them away if. we don't put them up yeah these are. viable yeah we might as well just throw. them up there because my YouTube channel. had like 20 000 subscribers and I was. like throw them up there see what. happens and like that [ __ ] helped grow. the channel crazy and then because I. think YouTube was just trying to steal. tick tock's whole [ __ ] like and so when. they whenever they do that they push all. that new stuff the algorithm just any. kind of like little clip like anything. pushes it and uh and yeah dude and then.

people started like subscribing the. channel and then once you had a little. bass and then I put the special out. there it was like [ __ ] it was crazy I. couldn't even like truly I still can't. believe like I did my first I did a. bunch of theater shows in Chicago and it. you step out and you're like who the. [ __ ] are these people how the [ __ ] how. the [ __ ] are that 5 000 people know who. I am and want to see me in Chicago they. want to hear my stories about almost. suffocating eating [ __ ] from a. bodybuilder like 5 000 people in a city.

I've been to three times last time I was. here I did I did uh last time I was in. Chicago I played uh the Lincoln Lodge. great fun room it's a 90 seater you know. what I mean it's like one year later. it's like the Vic you know so it's like. it it blows my [ __ ] mind and you know. shout out to the shout out to the. algorithm baby I'm sucking on the. algorithm nicely the third I look at the. algorithm yes.

I'm just I'm I'm [ __ ] breastfeeding. on the nipple stomach right now. um we do yeah I mean it's I remember. when you're when your special came out. um well I remember I remember I met. somebody that was on uh. you know what I'm talking about c-u-m-t. okay yeah you I think we met way back in. the day was it serious it's serious yeah. did you have no did you have children no. hair dude we were yeah dude like oh my. God seven years ago we did a serious raw.

dog podcast and it's like none of us I. mean like you were doing better but not. like this and I was nowhere like we were. just like God you were like a guy. working clubs and I was a guy working. like Thursdays and Sundays oh my god. dude I have looked up because I've. looked you didn't know that was me no. you didn't know the bald guy you made it. serious six years ago it was me. and I've been looking for him.

I know you're not I can see it in your. eyes look at calm down and I'm like I. swear to God this dude was from Compton. wow yeah dude we met so long ago and. that was a fun that was a fun podcast. that we didn't know each other at all we. were just kind of shooting his show was. it. I don't know it was like uh or that guy. Aaron no dude it was like it was like. the guy like like such a low level. serious show it was like the producers.

son or something yeah yeah yeah yeah it. was hilarious and it wasn't even like a. studio it was like in an office they put. four mics in remember yeah I was like. you know what the [ __ ] you know I. remember yeah somebody yelled the n-word. right when I walked in there sorry about. that. I was like all right I'll stay yeah. sorry Sherrod made me really mad. how long was Sherrod small.

the only black dude in that Circle that. rotation dude Opie had charad back to. back that's cool bro yeah man R.I.P yeah. let's spread let's start that Sharon's. been dead for years. yeah good guy though good guy what are. you gonna do dude that's the best thing. about like a lot of black guys you can. just go up like no remember little Steve. and bro in it but like yeah I remember. little Steve he was like he passed away. bro and he'd be like no instantly they.

won't ask a follow-up and I'll be like. damn. they got it's always they got little. Steve they got a little Steve dude yeah. like who are they yeah you know I love. the Starbursts yeah. it was like a blush for sure yeah you. know. center cut bacon you know that's what. got little Steve which by the way is. also Steve I believe Stephen Van Zant's. name in the E Street Band.

little Steven yeah right little Stephen. VanZant yeah God Silvio. um but yeah dude that's hilarious yeah. and so you guys don't do that anymore. you guys still no she stopped we stopped. the show like uh last year I would dude. I was [ __ ] because you love bro I. remember you telling me how freaking. good it was it was fun dude it was a fun. it was a fun I remember that now yeah we. we had just started and the show was I. looked at the lettering it had semen. coming off like yeah it was pure come uh.

but that's the show you do when you're. like you know in your mid-20s with your. boys and it was like yeah when you got. extra calm yeah when you got come to. spare and now I'm I need every I need I. need uh you know I'm drinking extra. fluids when I know I'm Gonna Make Love I. want to make sure I'm fully I'm getting. an IV straight to my balls just to make. sure plenty of coming there. but yeah dude the show was [ __ ] fun. for a while and then you know I was like.

damn am I going to be the calm Town guy. when I'm 40. oh you know it's like it's. like you can't when you're when the. person yeah yeah. and if most people in my life were like. oh yeah you will be come on dude stop. having stop getting greedy you fi you. found the gimmick stick with it you'll. have to make [ __ ] dick you know being. gay with your friends jokes until you. die which I still do something right. none of that will ever end it shouldn't. yeah no no no but you know so then it. was just like uh. you know I was like an evolution kind of.

yeah I just want to do my own thing. because it's like I like you know. because you do your own show it's nice. to just be the only person who has to. schedule anything you just do it on your. own time oh yeah [ __ ] you know yeah I. mean I did another show too for a while. I did King in the sting and it was fun. but I started to miss I didn't have. enough energy really to focus on like. what my own world was yeah yeah and what. made me feel comfortable and the. scheduling it becomes a lot people think.

we're only working a couple hours a week. it's a lot it's there's a lot more to it. that you don't see exactly not. complaining but that's what it is yeah. and that was basically it where I was. like I also just really wanted to focus. on stand-up. and I had this I had the special just. come out and I was like you know I. thought I was gonna just like kind of. take a little break special was out. retool do all this [ __ ] and then I. stopped doing come town and then my ship. blew up and I was like wait I can't the. break is never happening yeah I've just. been on the road for two years since.

like I still I have to take like after. that's why I'm filming this special it's. a little early but I was like I need the. summer off because I'm gonna [ __ ] die. and like if yeah as long you will die so. uh so yeah. um and I just kind of like really went. crazy on stand up and then just after a. while I was like I guess I should just. do a podcast I'm good at it I did so I. just started stoppy's world and I just. do it in my own you know I do it in my. own uh uh extra bedroom there it is we. just had bird on yep Rachel Feinstein.

Mark Normand I've had some good some. good blokes on there. Monroe Martin yeah awesome yeah Monroe. is oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. there's something about him he's one of. the people you get around him and you. just kind of feel good great hang great. hang great stories about his you know. deadbeat father on the podcast oh yeah. is that Ryan sickler no yes it is yeah. he just had a new special come out yep. just put him on there what's his special. that just came out uh Lefty's son yeah. Lefty son also from Baltimore that's my.

dude yeah yeah we come he came on he. just did the podcast and we just talked. I was we just were like naming. neighborhoods in Baltimore for like you. know 40 minutes yeah it's like if you. know it's like you know he really did. live in every white trash part of. Baltimore oh dude he's uh there's every. time I'm around Ryan here there's a part. of him it's like that reminds me of a. part of me that just never left the. neighborhood yeah dude like you could. have dude you could have uh you know you. could have a big old spatula and you'll. never [ __ ] pry that part out of the.

neighborhood you can't leave absolutely. part of me is still over there. absolutely cooking wieners over like a. like somebody's made like a fire where. they're burning like stuff that's. flammable that's bad yeah yeah and then. I'm over there the penny Savers in there. yeah. so all that toxic gas just going. straight into the flavor brother. straight into that meat making that. weenie extra [ __ ] tasty have you. discovered subscriptions that you've. forgotten about. maybe you're getting these you keep.

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pronunciation and accent. yup right now get up to 55 off your. subscription when you go to babble.com. Theo that's. b-a-b-b-e-l-.com. Theo for up to 55 off your subscription. Babble language for life. um it's amazing to see people doing them. onto YouTube and stuff these days one.

thing that I think is also easier it's. easier to find stuff on YouTube yeah for. sure I think it's really easier like. Netflix is just trickier to find it. doesn't it's not the same YouTube Feels. I also think it's a generational thing. dude like young people the way we grew. up like just throw the TV on they're. watching YouTube or they're watching. like twitch [ __ ] we don't even think of. like twitch right so that's just the way. where it's like people have YouTube is. the default thing is like when you just. want to throw some [ __ ] on and I've even. started like going to that going to that.

a little bit where it's like I'll watch. like these [ __ ] long like you know. history [ __ ] about like I literally. watched a Greek Independence Day I. watched an hour and 15 minute video. about the Greek and the war for. independence and it's just like this guy. kings and Generals that guy [ __ ]. rules it's just some guy with a British. accent with like shitty cartoons they're. not even fully animated it's like you. know picture and he's just describing. war that happened I'll watch more. Eclipse dude I love watching full. episodes of uh paternity Mori where.

they're talking about you know a lot. just when the lie detector tests come. out it's [ __ ] there's just so so much. good [ __ ] on YouTube where you're like. yeah I'm good I'll watch this I'll watch. full episode you know bootleg episodes. of [ __ ] it's awesome. yet or so yeah I love how here's what. you can get to anything immediately from. anything else anything that pops in your. imagination you can get something about. it immediately yeah. um it's the best algorithm too like it's. the one where you're like oh I am. interested in this right whereas like. other [ __ ] like you know you'll watch. like you know [ __ ] like on Instagram.

or whatever their for you page like. because you know this is your semi there. right when you watch them on YouTube and. they're like hmm I'm in the next thing. they suggest is like yeah I'm in there. although I will give Tick Tock some. credit there I had to get off because. their algorithm was so good that it was. like it was truly for me it was. literally like sandwiches and girls with. huge tits and it's like man you figured. me out man you know what I mean it's. like but and then it started getting. worse because it actually got deeper. into like then it started showing you.

like a hot woman with like a baby and it. was almost like this like you're 34 you. should have this should be your life. like they really were getting into your. psyche and then it went from like they. get you with like the bass [ __ ] of like. food and sexy girls oh yeah and then. it's like becomes like a wholesome. content where it's like oh don't you. want a family and then it's like now. you're following these babies and you're. watching these like celebrity babies. grow up instead of your own family yeah. it's like fights [ __ ] up dude.

yeah. I was super invested in like a Korean. family like like they had like a food. blog where they would like feed their. one-year-old like you know dumplings and. he'd be like. and I'd be like hell yeah dude that's. awesome I'm just like happy just purely. and then I'm like this is so [ __ ] up. like they're they found a way to like. get into even your biological urges of. like having a family they've hacked us. they've fully hacked us bro well that's. one of the issues these days man I feel.

like people are we are fully hacked man. yeah we are fully hacked and if you look. at uh like there's that new chat GPT or. whatever that came out yeah yeah yeah. and I've gotten like some people send me. stuff like hey man look at this comedy. set of yours we that we had chat GPT do. right yeah yeah and I'm like this is. track like this sucks it just sounds. like you put anybody if you say like. from Louisiana or from a Southern state. it just sounded it felt really cheap to. me yeah so I wonder how like Advanced. they can get that you know yeah I mean.

it's true they I do think and maybe it's. just us thinking like oh come on you. can't the one thing you can't figure out. is comedy but what they do with all the. AI the the art stuff is they just steal. from artists right so like uh that's a. good point so they will what they'll do. is just steal jokes and like just put it. in another like I even saw like uh Will. Sasso did something really funny he has. like a he has like an AI like dudesius. podcast is run by an AI and he did like. a Tom Brady Tom Brady because you know.

Tom Brady just sent me that yeah he said. he said to me too and I looked at it and. I was like this is gonna be [ __ ]. stupid and it was like it was like they. didn't have the pausing of stand-up. comedy right but they were real jokes. right and but then you hear that and. you're like I've I've heard these before. right and it's like clearly what the AI. did was steal maybe even shitty. comedians probably what they did was go. to YouTube or wherever and stole like. [ __ ] Open Mic level Comics or Like. mid-tier Comics or like you know. starting out comics and just stole the.

Rhythm and [ __ ] of jokes and put it in. there some of the jokes were. legitimately funny they might have. stolen stuff from you know anybody. so I think that's what that's what. that's why the [ __ ] is so unethical it's. like not only is it are they you know. learning [ __ ] that's scary that. computers can do but they're just. stealing art from people they're just. stealing techniques from people and it's. like an amalgam of [ __ ] from people that. from real people that worked very hard. to do it right but they're gonna be. probably jokes that are very like.

pattern based I feel like she can have. like a lot of writers like joke writer. style sure I think you a performer. may be able to. yeah then even rise up like still have. some uniquity to them I'm not sure but. you're gonna have to have a powerful. level of uniquity if somebody yeah I. love uniquity but if somebody yeah and. that's not a racial slur either it's not. a racial slur it's not a girl that works. at the post office it's neither of those. things.

iniquity the girl that tried to [ __ ] you. at my goobies. iniquity and her husband Kyle. dude actually now that you say you're. right like there's something to. Performance but it's even funny because. it's like well if we're talking about a. robot that learns jokes it's like is. Mark Norman the first comedy AI like. it's Mark the first like that literally. like I feel like that's what that. [ __ ] is he's so good he just. feed a joke in and it's like Bam Bam.

everything is just like he's incredible. yeah yeah being around he's a guy that I. missed not being able to be around a lot. of times yeah yeah just so awesome about. him yeah yeah great hang but yeah I just. I'm wondering like like they just said. this how influential this stuff is. getting will you bring that up. um they had a guy who killed. who took his own life he was having a. relationship. with a chat GPT bot I think and he was. texting and the woman at some point was. like look it's. you're not I'm not real you're not doing.

life right or something you gotta check. out man ends his life after an AI. chatbot encouraged him to sacrifice. himself. to stop climate change. [Laughter]. not next the [ __ ] is that. now here's the crazy part. a belt let's zoom in a little please. yeah a Belgian man reportedly ended his.

life following a six week long. conversation about the climate crisis. with an artificial intelligence chat. that's awesome. so what do they mean by according to his. widow oh yeah he had a wife according to. his widow Pierre not the Man's real name. became extremely eco-anxious when he. found refuge in Eliza in AI chatbot on. an app called chai shy now here's what's. interesting now here's what I think this. is here's what I think is happening hit. me with it. I believe that most of everything you.

see in the world today is advertising. right it's a lot of advertising and then. it's they bait you for stuff that's. going to come out later I bet this was. this is a fake article yeah okay well. you're sorry your own use dot next which. sounds real. next sounds real to me it does. but if it were like dot last or whatever. yeah. oh you're out okay but yeah you got your. news.next dude and it sounds like they I. feel like are dialed in but here's what. I don't here's what's gonna happen yeah.

they're gonna say like uh they're gonna. write us this they're going to see how. much publicity an article gets then. they're gonna someone in Hollywood right. because the media and Hollywood they're. all in simpatico of course is going to. write a script about it and then they're. gonna make it like it's a uh based on. real life story and then it becomes so. they test articles on the public to see. what gains enough traction okay and then. after that they'll write a script and. then a year from now it comes out a. movie don't you remember yeah.

um remember when you when we all start. our day with. euronews.next don't you remember that. day you woke up had your coffee logged. on the euronews.next and saw the story. about Pierre and the chai and Eliza I. bought yeah. why yes I do. but I will I mean isn't that the movie. her without the like isn't that without. the like they're trying to re yeah it's. something they're just trying to put a. span on her so I'm sure it'll be a.

copyright issue on it yeah yeah you know. so now we have a copyright issue on fake. wow on on on something that's completely. fake we don't even know the Nay I didn't. make that story up I wouldn't be shocked. to keep us off the trail that'd be the. first story an AI would make up how cool. they are they got some [ __ ] French. loser to kill himself. I am going to run the oven and put my.

head inside of it. I cannot do it anymore. I mean what does his wife have to if. this is real imagine being this guy's. wife and being like damn dude you didn't. even like cheat on me yeah you mean the. Mona Lisa yeah he's a moaning even. louder because it's so [ __ ] hot. please give me [ __ ] Mr Robot I will get. I will to kill myself if I get a little.

robot [ __ ]. through blue balls. dude how many. how soon until we're begging robots for. cooter. soon oh and you know they got I mean. dude they're gonna they're not gonna. have good you think they might bro have. you seen those like Chinese dick sucking. machines dude if I started two iuds in. it it was a nightmare that's too many.

iuds I know but can you imagine it's. Gotta feel hella iudish if you're a uh I. don't think Shabbat I don't think so you. don't think I think they will figure out. a way to warm it up real Lube like truly. if you pull up. style to set you like your uh. yeah yeah let's get this robot [ __ ] a. little warmer. you'll be able to like adjust tightness. temperature dude I'm telling you they're. gonna figure out figure it out it's.

gonna feel so sad though yeah for sure. because here's the saddest part. you have to take it back and set it. somewhere you have to close its eyes. with your no no this is like we're. talking about here's a picture of a man. with it right here no I'm not interested. in that but remember that you ever see. the movie ex machina. mm-hmm it's good but basically the. robots are like people. and like when they get to that level of. robot where you can like walk around a. little bit and it's not a it's a. semi-sentient being that's trained to.

like give top no that would be awesome. hey bro you just you just said it right. walk around a little bit so basically. it's gonna be like you're chasing. somebody that's like injured right. yeah it's like one of those dogs those. dog robots yeah somebody like it takes. one I don't know hold on how about this. the Boston Dynamics robots they're doing. flips and [ __ ] what if they use that. technology to suck dick you're not gonna. go for that I don't know dude you're not. going to afford a Boston Dynamics hooker.

dude dude but not yet but when not on. The Cutting Edge but when it gets to. like mass production it's gonna be a. bootleg Dyson. you can already pretty much [ __ ]. Dyson yeah but it'll have two speeds Man. Regular and. [Laughter]. if they teach that thing to jack you off. you're you're now we're calling the.

police first of all. second of all yeah the only thing this. thing is look at that thing it's jumping. and [ __ ] dude this is how they'll. advertise this thing once it comes out. to they'll put one into a uh. God damn that sucks I hate that this. exists the biggest uh or that say uh uh. America's Got Talent oh yeah and it'll. win it will win and people like now what. because it sucks Howard Stern's dick. because it'll win it'll do gymnastics. and then it'll also suck you off Howie. Mandel is going to be going crazy yeah. look at these guys dude oh wow is that.

real or huh no. no way that's [ __ ] real dude that's. not [ __ ] CGI. I hate that that [ __ ] and also look. at their white too black people are. gonna be pissed about that. I'm like oh the first ones was white huh. I think though I think yeah I mean they. do yeah you got to put some color on. these yeah you guys dude you do just go. like a mob or something at least make it. like it could be anybody something Regal. or taupe taupe would be good too I hate.

these these [ __ ] suck actually unless. that's they have to appeal they have to. make them sex robots because otherwise. we're gonna be talking about like how. these are you know these will be cops. like they'll be patrolling they'll be. like well to think about our civil. liberties being lost but if they teach. if they release them as sex robots first. get everybody get everybody like horny. on them we'll all of a sudden not care. as much that like these will be doing. like you know surveillance with no.

warrant on like you know communities I'm. like you know like that's what these are. going to be used for you these are going. to be police things for sure dude but. security for sure bro if you telling me. though those little dog ones [ __ ] that. dude but one of these rolls through the. hood bro you telling me it rolls through. the trenches brother ain't gonna have. [ __ ] a couple Brothers out there. popping they should you see what they do. the ice cream truck already I haven't. seen what they did oh they're gonna. blast this before. the ice cream truck was was actually. pretty well respected in Baltimore.

really it was kind of yeah crazy dude. here's one cool thing bro about four. about four neighborhoods bro [ __ ] could. be whatever dog people be shooting. people yeah. I need a [ __ ] Mario with [ __ ] up. Gumball eyes. [Music]. [Laughter]. everybody has just like a one of those.

like little clown faces with the Bubble. Guppies dude absolutely the heart the. hard bubble gum yeah and as soon as the. toughest dude is done eating here this. [ __ ] back back on once once she gets. done with that Flintstone push pop he's. just Red's ready to go yeah you're right. I hope they [ __ ] robots up when they. come if they come through the hood I. hate those things I mean that [ __ ] sucks. well I just don't like it because here's. what I it's like. like it's got a [ __ ] gun dude come on. yeah they're gonna use that to execute. people and like they're trying to make.

it dizzy and see if it can still shoot. up Target it's not this is a [ __ ]. robot. I hate this [ __ ] dude this [ __ ] sucks. whoever invented this should be [ __ ]. executed honestly but here's what's. interesting yeah oh that's how does a. robot get uh the ability to do like say. it shows up on a crime scene right yeah. or people are just gonna be like don't. shoot me I'm one of you yeah. I'm not a robot yeah I'm not I don't I'm.

fun I'm made of metal too actually. it actually sucks I hate this yeah I. can't believe they got yeah I think that. article is felt I think the article is. fake though I think there's a lot of. fake articles that we don't realize that. are leading to other things yeah. probably especially these days because I. don't know about clicks you just want to. form clicks where you can get as much. traction from something fake if people. dig it I've fallen over fake stuff. before you share something you're like. look at this and people are like that. was debunked years ago yeah yeah you're. like whatever good I take back what I.

said about the Jews yeah. like whatever good night. just to not even acknowledging that you. fell for it yeah whatever dude it could. happen to anybody. um what else so were your gr your do you. think of yourself as like. you talk about your weight a lot right. yeah yeah for sure do are you. are you fat or are you just Greek like. that's what I don't know I'm both are.

you both I'm both okay yeah or some dual. identity is every Greek person fattest. [ __ ] I don't want to say that is every. Greek person uh. are they larger I feel like if I've seen. a Greek person it seems like a like a. romantic version of you yeah yeah I. there's definitely I definitely hit a. lot is that offensive. okay not at all dude I don't give a [ __ ]. um some people are very like if you go. to Africa right yes. they don't really have the fat guy no no.

I don't think so like well they have. apparently there's like one truck like I. saw I as a fat man you read about places. where you know fat people are respected. oh they think and there is one tribe. where the fat guy gets all the [ __ ]. because it's like and they're hilarious. looking too they got these huge [ __ ]. bellies dude and they're not even that. fat the rest of their bodies it's. [ __ ] awesome whatever for whatever. reason that beauty standard there is. like that's it yeah yeah yeah yeah that. first nipple dude that nip that guy.

would have an awesome third titty dude. um what else is going on dude uh what. else are we. yeah I feel like do you think when you. think about so you've gotten to see. having some success in like you know. just. um with your stand up right and people. coming to see you which really is. there's rocks with rocks it's every. comedian's dream the whole reason you. started doing like yeah like I mean it's. funny because we all have become. podcasters by accident because it just.

like happens to be you know people and. it's a cool way to like you know deal. with your friends at once stay in. people's lives once a week whatever but. it's like I don't know about you but I. just wanted to do stand up like when I. was when I was 19 I just was like. started doing Open Mic so I loved it. yeah it's like all this other [ __ ] is. cool. but it's like that's the thing where I'm. like yeah this [ __ ] rules like that. hour you're on stage is the whole reason. you do it and these theaters are [ __ ]. insane like I can't. like I was talking about when Bert was. on my podcast but it's like oh you.

understand why comedians start thinking. they're smart and Geniuses because when. you're in a theater and people like. you're like oh I should be listened to. yeah I'm a I'm a God yeah and it's like. you have to remember that no these. people are they are also just as dumb as. you we're all friends here we're all. dumb friends we're not you know not. we're entertaining we're not smart. that's what I try and remember to remind. myself is that like I'm just trying to. you know yeah and that's the fun thing. is you're just having an awesome time. with a thousand people or whatever the.

[ __ ] 500 whatever whatever whatever room. you're in oh yeah and it's the best it. really is it's the whole you know it's. the reason you do anything you know you. did any like stand up to start for me. anyway so these shows have been [ __ ]. out of control. amazing dude yeah it's it's uh. congratulations man thanks man no I. appreciate it it's really really cool. it's [ __ ] wild you very much deserve. a man you're a very and uh you're I mean. you're a really funny guy you're even. making me laugh so much today you're. enjoyable to be around. um and also like it's interesting what.

you said about the ego thing right I was. just thinking about this the other day. like my own ego you know and how it. starts to it starts to [ __ ] with you for. sure because you're like. oh I'm good I'm cool yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah I mean you know how scary that's. such a scary because you know yeah if. you really like making people laugh and. stuff that's kind of the antithesis of. being connected absolutely it's like and. I mean I think you've done a great job. because like dude your [ __ ] is out of. control like I mean it's awesome it's.

like truly there's like people I look at. in the business I'm like yeah I'm trying. to get to those places and like your. shows are wild the podcast is so. successful but you've done a great job. of staying like grounded into who you. are thanks man it's hard it's and it's. and it falters like there's spaces you. know like in my personal life where it's. like I really got to I can feel it when. I'm starting to get like things got. busier recently with like with Tick Tock. really kind of took off and. and that was scary for me because.

with Instagram things like we're. doing fine but you kind of were putting. your own stuff out yeah Tick Tock. there's no real like. if like tagging or infringing yeah. societal rules about right it's Anarchy. it is anarchy yeah so suddenly there's. like tons of people seeing you but you. didn't put the stuff out there you. didn't even pick what Clips are going. out right so that's really it feels like. um I get that too because I'm grateful. it's interesting but at the same time.

I'm like it's out of your control so. that something having something out of. your control is [ __ ] kind of scary. especially when the nicest and I think. stand-up attracts people like that where. it's like you want Total Control it's. like you're not a team you know what I. mean you go by yourself you even like. even like your own podcast like even. what it's like clearly that means. something to you and I'm the same way I. like to be like in control of what goes. out there but yeah it can be [ __ ]. crazy because yeah your [ __ ] definitely. spread in a way that's like awesome. because it's like next level it's like.

what you're talking about is like kind. of getting into the culture in an. organic way yeah and that's cool but. that's like a crazy scary level of like. being like well known which. yeah I I get why that sucks because like. I think about it now where I'm like I. don't want to be like even being this. like whatever famous and I know that I'm. famous. um I just think that like no one looks. like me so if you're even Vaguely. Familiar with me you'll be like hey it's. that it's it's not some other guy with. that hair that's that fat dressed like.

that you know what I mean it's like Dom. DeLuise. but that's a crazy thing a lot of older. people think like celebrities never age. and you're like are you dumb pull up Dom. DeLuise. oh yeah he's the man dude yeah he's my. guy and all the Mel Brooks movies my mom. would have totally ask you like is that. dumb is that dumb to always yeah hell. yeah dude he looks awesome is that who. I'm thinking of yeah he's not as fat in.

that picture yeah there he is just in. the white hat uh this is I shouldn't. have picked him man. so it's just like an advanced way of. just calling someone fat I feel like he. is my guy though. um he is my guy don't worry about it but. yeah you have a unique look man you're. like yeah Magnum p-i-e. ah I love that that's a good one dude.

I've never heard that one though that's. good. that's a horrible man I'm sorry that's. all right you got out of your system you. got any more you got any more you want. to do before we move they have the. n-word in them. I'm keeping those. I'm holding those and hold on to those. dudes yeah not everything's for them. dude something for you too. man you guys are racist. yeah dude it's crazy uh.

yeah that's I could see that being. [ __ ] some black guy the other day I. was somewhere and he was like he yells. right it was at a mall I was in Los. Angeles and the Westfield mall and he. keeps yelling man you're my and he kept. yeah he's coming across the mall dude he. said it so many times dude. [Laughter]. yeah in this interaction we're averaging. so many n-words between us even though. he's the one doing all of them he by the. time he got there I was like oh my I. felt like he said it so much that I had. said it yeah exactly dude you were.

involved in like a 20 n-word exchange. you know like between the two of you. yeah yeah yeah he had like a uh like an. nr16 or something. firing in. kept getting close. oh my God. my gun word Yeller. lands on me yeah yeah yeah. absolutely people walked up and people. then the white people at you yeah white.

people were looking at me like I had. said it yeah go you piece of [ __ ] come. on I have he's my friend yeah I'm better. than you yeah that's what you should. have said when's the last time somebody. called you the n-word that's what you. should have yelled at white people yeah. then get your [ __ ] together. you're not a true Ally unless you've. been called the n-word recently. and I actually kind of believe that too. oh you want to be you want to have. friends you need friends that will call. you that that's true that's what I. remember I think when I was growing up.

about the closest thing about it there. was enough of that where I got called it. enough where it was like okay I'm around. at least I can say it now I'm in the. culture yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean. you can't yeah it's like you can't say. it yeah yeah but you can you can think. it. bro you can't say you can think it with. sound. but you can't say it. foreign.

like do you even think about that kind. of stuff I think because like I love. comedy so it's like I like getting. laughs in every way and I do love. staying like truly stand Up's my first. love I'll never stop doing it right like. even when I'm not good at it anymore. it's like I'll do it for me like I even. when I moved to New York I was like if. this doesn't work I will be one of those. guys that runs a monthly show in his. hometown yeah like just opens at the. club I would never stop doing it. um but you also I don't know if you feel.

this way like. you can't really talk about certain. complex things in stand up because at. least if you're good at it you got to. get a laugh every [ __ ] 15 seconds. right like 20 seconds or you feel like. you have to yeah at least I feel like I. have to the way I the what I like about. stand up because I don't like when it. gets too like preachy or pontificating. or any of that [ __ ] so like that's why. I'm interested in like movies and TV uh. because it's like. you get to be funny in different ways. like you know we all have like shows we.

love and like movies we love that were. so important to us and it's like yeah. the way I wanted to do stand up because. I like stand up it's like I want to be. funny because I [ __ ] love Eastbound. and Down you know I mean I want to do my. version of [ __ ] Kenny power that. would be [ __ ] awesome you know what I. mean like being like just getting just. being able to like tell a story and like. do different and [ __ ] that your stand-up. has even like touched on but you can do. be a little deeper with it if you write. you know right you can put them into it. or you write a movie you write something. behind it yeah they just had a um who.

was that they had that East he had me. thinking of Dan he spanning down he's. Banning Down syndrome they just busted. the guy he's found a Down syndrome would. be an awesome show too K Powers just. developmentally disabled. you see this alleged gang member with. Down Syndrome. and decided on separate Chicago murders. wow. that's kind of on it like let's zoom in. oh damn see this is the kind of thing. and a smoosh they called them smush oh.

man that's kind of rude Marie let's zoom. in a little. um can you close out of the video do you. mind just so we can get a little Clarity. here he doesn't seem that. um Nicholas smoosh samudio was indicted. on felony murder charges in the February. 16th fatal road rage shooting of. Humberto Mariners they let him drive and. the 20th February 26th slang of Tomas. via damn so he's also he's keeping it in.

the community he reportedly killed a man. in front of his pregnant wife oh damn. dude well he might have thought you just. had a really big meal. I don't know if he knows about pregnancy. he's like look at that top tit on hero. hounds doubt though or is he just kind. of a little something's wrong with him. yeah let's see do they say how much he. has. do they have a percentage they covered a. 380 caliber handgun with police believe.

samudio may have thrown out the window. during the pursuit. um. Is that real do you go up go up all the. way up at the very beginning. just see how they describe him yeah an. alleged gang member with Down Syndrome. wow. a member of the Latin Kings. I mean what is going on oh wait wait. samudio who has been diagnosed with the. genetic disorder according to his public. defender so this might be his lawyer. trying to get him out on. trying to play the r card you know what. I'm saying anyway like the Uno reverse.

card he's like let's dance and go yeah. right you know like you let him. right right he's like what's your guy. doing you know I mean he would look I. don't know much about I'm not an expert. but he's driving around. you know what I mean I had a Uber driver. that was uh Down syndrome one time and. he would talk to his mother would tell. him everything to do she was in the she. was on a speaker a call with him yeah no. I swear. really he told him everything to do and. I was in there and I was like this is.

just what was his reading like God. working or you know I'm just sitting. here I'm just yeah y'all just using me. today to be a passenger in this guy's. car and I'm gonna bear with it. but that down Center was close man they. thought I had it when I was a kid man. really oh yeah for real well I remember. the doctor telling my mother you know. she wrote it in my baby book. when you were like a baby baby did they. have baby books when you were a kid yeah. and your mom would keep them yep what. was your mom like was she cool she's the. best dude yeah my mom's best really or.

Greek mom's good what are they like yeah. truly like my mom is like the. like think about like a classic Eastern. European like mother like just like by. the well yeah yeah yeah yeah if we had a. well she would have been out there. making sure I had water dude like Strega. Nona yeah yeah because that's trigonona. Vibe she has 100 dude uh my mom was just. like you know all we like you come over. to my house you're not leaving without. having a dessert you know what I mean. like I don't want you just like packed a. nice lunch like just so I mean there is.

a part of me that's like the reason my. life is the way it is my bet truly my. most cherished childhood memories my mom. was a waitress at a Greek restaurant and. Saturdays she would like come home like. half the time with like leftovers right. like calamari lamb chops whatever I'm. like this fat like a little fat kid lava. yeah sure yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh. actually they had which is like this. cream custard.

it's pretty good actually honestly. you're close thank you next time you. yeah it's awesome but she would come. home and I would stay up watching SNL. and it's like The Farley Sandler era. what we're talking about and so it would. be like that's kind of where I Started. Loving comedy was like and it kind of. married my my loves of like comedy. fried foods and like the love of a woman. and it's like now if I think about it. that's what my weekends are except I do.

the comedy I get the fried foods and I. try and just like [ __ ] some lady to like. you know fill the hole in my heart you. know what I mean and it's like in some. ways I'm like damn my mom was so like I. loved and waited for my mom so much that. like fully. like the whole course of my life just. because I wanted to see my mom like. waiting for her to get home waiting for. her to get home with some food and I was. like watching comedy until she got home. and it's like sometimes I think like.

That's how little control we have over. [ __ ] like that's your Bermuda Triangle. kind of you'll always be in there no. matter what yeah yeah yeah that's really. where I am dude in all every all the. biggest things that have like controlled. my life yeah that's it dude it's like. food truly food addiction is my I'll do. a bunch of drugs I can truly quit them. whenever I can food is so [ __ ] hard. for me uh well yeah and you have to have. food too yes that's the trick about it. if I had to have a little bit of coke. yeah I didn't imagine imagine you have. to do a bump every like eight hours yeah.

if say if that every day they gave you a. Coke break from 12 to 1. yeah there's like a kiosk at the mall. with some girl with big tits with just. lines you can do off them when you. really want to treat yourself yeah you. know what I mean there's like Hibachi. cocaine just some guy. cutting lines with this thing popping. [ __ ] crack rocks in your mouth. you [ __ ] yeah yeah I know it's the. worst one but yeah my mom was truly like.

so supportive and I don't know I also. feel like. like the recipe for like an artist too. is like you have to really half hate. yourself and half think you're the man. and it's like my mom is the half that's. like she thought I was like a gene like. she's that kind of mom she's like oh. he's gonna she thought I was gonna be. like the kid that goes to Harvard at 12. you know what I mean just because I like. she believed in me so much right to the. Moon myself truly like when I was gonna. do stand up she wasn't supportive.

because she thought I was like robbing. the world of intellect right like true. that's how much she loved me and. believes that she loved me but she had. all her gauge on you was a little off. yeah I was well because she would take I. was a good student yeah. um I just texted and I'm just joking man. no no no no no no no no she was off. don't get me wrong oh yeah she fully I'm. not like she had utmost but she thought. by stand up you're limited you're. cutting yourself short exactly it took. her a crumb of proof she turned like a. crumb of me being kind of smart into.

being like oh he's a generational mind. that we have to like you know that's. gonna like solve world hunger yeah. um but then my dad was the other side. where it's like you know my dad just. like it was not really a you know he was. he was around but not you know didn't. really get the like didn't believe in. you was always kind of worn it was more. like a punitive figure where it's like. hey you better [ __ ] be smarter you'll. end up like me with my [ __ ] like just. telling you how much he hated his life. and it's like oh cool I'm actually. aren't either the part like most of your.

life didn't you make all your decisions. to raise me and now me and my brothers. and now you're saying you hate your life. and threaten to kill yourself every six. months so then you learn like oh I guess. by some math you hate us and we're the. reason you want to kill yourself. as a kid you absolutely deduce it oh. yeah no don't show him actually. [Laughter].

him and that lady would have gone along. famously. um is it hard being a Greek man is there. a lot of perils over all of being a. Greek man. um I don't I mean that definitely is The. Stereotype of like you know I mean. everyone I grew up around they all. either were alcoholics or cheated on. their wives you know what I mean there. was no there was no like good Rome a. Greek role model which was really funny. because I met well they took them all.

too a long time ago yeah how are you. gonna compete with Socrates Socrates how. are you going to compete with uh Zeus. yeah yeah you know he cheated though he. was that was his thing was cheating. right and he was even our God was. cheating yeah like that's their religion. was like getting side [ __ ] it was like. ancient Greek wisdom. um but no there's no there's no like. it's not hard it's like again I kind of. go back to it kind of cool being Greek. because it's like it's very unique you. get to be white you know what I mean. like in all the things that matter like.

cops see me I guess if there's any value. in that yeah yeah. I'm not saying I'm a Believer in that. but you get to seem white yeah yeah you. get to see white in all the ways yeah. you're like Olive Jews yeah. in many ways like grape leaf juice grape. yeah people I've heard people say like. Greeks are like Jews that aren't good. with money you know just like you know. there's a little bit of that for sure. front house juice yeah. absolutely but no I kind of rock I mean.

honestly I like it because you get to. just be different enough and I'm trying. to also stay connected to that [ __ ] too. because it's hard in America it's like. you see different like cultures. that [ __ ] disappears in a couple. Generations so fast here so fast like. especially if you're just like oh if. you're just like a white ethnicity it's. like in two generations it's like you. just have like you know my kid might. like so I think about that now because. like you're I'm 34. it's like I'm. getting there where it's like I'm a full. there's no more like oh when I grow up. it's like I'm a [ __ ] grown man you.

know but like especially when you do. stand up you can convince yourself like. you're still young it's like you know oh. it happens yeah we're knocking on the. door so I'm starting to think about that. [ __ ] so but it's cool I get I go to. Greece I visit my I have family over. there I still speak Greek I want to like. you know yeah so it's like my goal would. be to spend three months a year in. Greece and just like [ __ ] chill out. dude you know speak the language eat. some [ __ ] calamari oh yeah. and do they um.

do Greek women like you are you a Greek. woman kind of do you like Greek women I. you again part of like getting older I'm. like I find myself. attracted like Greek and being like it. would actually be cool to be with a. Greek one just because we share those. like yeah that culture and the you know. a language all that kind of [ __ ]. um I've never dated a Greek girl I've. I'm attracted to features that I think. Greek like I like curly hair I like uh.

you know tan yeah I like a big nose you. know what I mean like I like a man yeah. yeah. yeah. hey let's get let's get you a perm bro. and I'm in there damn dude um but I've. never been with I've never dated a Greek. girl wow yeah maybe God's saving that. for you for the end that would be nice. you know that would be nice you could be. like you're the first Greek girl I ever. dated yeah do you think that you could. fall in love do you think it's hard for. a comedian to fall in love yeah I think. so I mean I don't know how you feel but. it's like. like.

it's cool to like get to travel and like. [ __ ] a bunch of strangers you know like. that part is nice but at a certain point. first of all yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah you know you also sound like the. Golden State rapist. it's cool state to state no trail of. evidence behind me by the time the cops. know what's up I'm [ __ ] gone that. part's cool. [Laughter]. by the time they file a police report. I'm in Ottawa. I'm across state lines I'm across cult.

you know I'm across the border. [Laughter]. um sorry go on but yeah I feel like I'm. tired of that like you do start to get a. little tired of like even when you get. the [ __ ] and just like girls that are. much too hot for you which you know I. mean for it's like it's cool I've gotten. if I've gotten I've gotten to experience. some pretty cool stuff yeah but but you. know but after a certain point you're. like oh it would be nice to just have. someone you care about and like put.

effort into that relationship instead of. like just. right just throwing a ball against a. wall all the time exactly exactly it'd. be nice to throw it to somebody and they. catch it exactly yeah. yeah playing cash with like no father. right emotionally I feel like that robot. yeah exactly exactly it's a robot. um so I think I'm gonna but it is hard. on this schedule I don't think I could. have dated someone it's hard. and your brain reads your brain's like I. forgot about that you know yeah I come.

home I forget that I it's hard it's uh. because I don't think your brain a human. brain isn't supposed to be different. places in different days like we're not. even supposed to be flying yeah this. much and they should say that when you. get on yeah. this is an affront to God and if we make. it we're on borrowed time you're one. step closer to death the next one yeah. that's what they should say at the. beginning of every flight. if we if we make it we have deceived God.

and he's a vengeful God and he will get. us eventually I love him yeah. it's turbulence happens and people are. shocked like yeah yeah. we're flying isn't it crazy there's not. turbulence constantly we're in the. [ __ ] sky going so [ __ ] fast. there's more turbulence on uh like a. street in New Orleans right yeah yeah. potholes on a white Street in New. Orleans yeah there's seven thousand. times.

and it's more dangerous to [ __ ] drive. a car statistically but that's what they. say but that Airlines made that up. that's a good point they obviously. yeah dude they were on euronews.next I'm. talking about no you're much it's much. safer in the sky. you should you should ride a helicopter. to work yeah. oh. what was it whenever you was going to.

school do you remember like your first. girlfriend growing up. um dude I was so I was so like. shy when it came to like because I was I. had this big outsized personality and. that like. I I never got nervous in any social. situation. and then except girls hey so it was like. this weird thing where it's like. everyone loved me and everyone assumed I. like I could talk girls into whatever. but it's like because that was. nerve-wracking it was the only time I. ever experienced anxiety like social.

anxiety so it made it impossible so like. I didn't have like a girlfriend like I. hooked up with a couple girls in high. school but I didn't get [ __ ] like I. didn't [ __ ] till College yeah and it. wasn't until like I like put in the time. and like felt comfortable with somebody. and that I could like say my feelings I. was so scared of just like I don't know. ridicule or I don't know what it was so. in in high school I had like one one. girl one girlfriend who just who I like. I touched her breasts like twice and she.

might have [ __ ] like six guys like in. that time frame you know what I mean she. was like it was one of those where she. was yeah hurry up and touch my tits I. can go [ __ ] you yeah yeah get me warmed. up. it was one of those things where she. would call me and like we would call. we'd talk on the phone it was one of. those relationships and she lived in a. different part of the town a different. part of town and it was like you know. before I even had a driver's I had my. permit and then it was like I got my. license I went to a couple parties that. she was at we made out a couple times. and then she called me she was like Hey. I accidentally Got Fingered uh last.

night and I'm like okay. um well don't let it happen again you. know and then she she called me like. three she got accidentally figured like. three more times and I was like you know. what I I don't know that this is gonna. work out like I broke up with her she. clearly was like wasn't even dating me. effectively we weren't dating I would. like call her but she would [ __ ] other. guys and she'd even touch my dick I. touched her tits like two or three times. it sounds like you have arrested him I. have a real resentment towards are still. to this day resentment is a big problem.

I have for sure is it really yeah yeah I. don't like I have a hard time letting. things go I'm a grudge keeper is that a. great characteristic I think it is wow I. think it and like definitely there's. anger problems in my like that runs in. my family I'm something I'm working on. like I'm on there I'm in therapy or. anger specifically uh anger is one of. the big ones yeah for sure anger I mean. my dad had an anger problem the wheel. just kind of inherited and like uh anger. and then guilt also or like my big ones. yeah immigrant [ __ ] guilt is huge dude.

because it's like your parents are like. well I came to this [ __ ] country so. you would have a better life that like. my dad would drop that he's like I hate. it here I want to be in Greece you know. meanwhile the [ __ ] his life would have. been dog [ __ ] in Greece but right my dad. was crazy my dad grew up in Nicaragua. when he was until he was like 12 or. something and they had kids eating dirty. said in his village they'd have kids. with like distended bellies just worms. in their bellies yeah he said from just. eating dirt and stuff but then he'd be. like go get me some mayonnaise you know. and that was it he never like he never.

told me like a lot of stuff you know I. would just kind of watch him from afar I. guess yeah yeah. um well that makes sense too because. it's like that's a different kind of. immigrant where it's like where you're. if you're leaving a place with like. they're eating dirt like you want to be. in America whereas like you know my dad. like didn't want to be in America he. claimed he didn't want to anyway right. you know. um but I think both of them sound like. they weren't very the salary that was. very emotionally open didn't sound like. there's a lot sharing going on yeah I.

don't think so and I think you get older. at a certain point you kind of lose the. space it's almost like you almost have. to share your emotions in a certain time. period it feels like because I feel like. sometimes maybe I wonder if I wonder if. you lose an emotional connection like. sensibility once you get past a certain. age I never thought of I never really. heard about that but that'd be. interesting I bet you you relate to. things differently yeah you know but I. could also see it almost go in the. opposite way where it's like the older. you get you kind of like shed a little. bit of that like whom I even protect.

what am I pretending yeah you know I. definitely feel myself getting a little. more open and just more like like. whatever catch the [ __ ] because I'm just. like I don't give a [ __ ] right what are. these resentments yeah they'll fall away. yeah a little bit yeah those I'm still. holding on to yeah I still have a couple. enemies yeah you know a couple people. who who every day I think about like how. much better my life is going than theirs. and I'm like awesome like I was just. like it's so just like that's awesome. dude [ __ ] that guy he [ __ ] me and like. my [ __ ] is going so I'm lapping him ten.

thousand like I still have one I still. indulge in just a little bit of that you. know just like um. to pick your teeth yeah yeah but for the. most part I also think you you realize. what the problems are in your life and. you don't let those people in your life. anymore you're more aware of those. people you're aware of the patterns of. the people you don't want to be around. and like now everyone I'm around it's. like I work with my best friends like I. hired my best friends to like be my. Purdue my best friend oh yeah I met your. friend what's his name oh Ben yeah Ben.

yeah yeah Ben's the man dude shout out. to Benny butt cheeks Ben O'Brien Ben. O'Brien bring him up let's get let's get. a gander out yeah yeah he has a train. conductor Vibe huh he does he loves he. loves overalls he loves overalls I love. him dude no Ben rocks uh and Ben yeah. Ben works for me and then yeah there he. is and uh and then I go yeah yeah he he. was a part of like an awesome comedy. Collective William City uh he was like. an art he went to art school did like. his own he kind of has that Boo Radley.

smarter brother Vibe yeah he's. definitely yes absolutely yeah he's more. in touch with this [ __ ] more emotional. uh on his own little journey just. figuring his [ __ ] out because we all. went to to um Paris Paris that was fun. that was that was a sick that was an. awesome time bro remember they put us in. that plane the jet was insane God that. thing was nice dude that was all I mean. we had a great crew it was so nice bro. sometimes I remember I'll be in hotel. rooms and it's like it's like 400 500 a.

night dude I ain't even sleeping in that. [ __ ] yeah yeah staying awake I'm. getting my money's worth. yeah dude sitting on the couch you got a. sweet so you just sitting on the couch. even though you're tired you're like no. I'm sitting on this couch yeah I had I. was in a [ __ ] Holiday Inn Express of. four years ago I'm hanging out in the. suite I'm putting [ __ ] in the mini. fridge even if I don't drink it yeah I'm. just getting this [ __ ] cold yeah yeah. I'm putting my ID in there so I'll pick. it up in the morning it's [ __ ]. freezing I don't used to have a mini. fridge and [ __ ] hotel money.

yeah man it's something about it it's. like oh I'm not yeah I'm not sleeping. it's gonna cost me seventy dollars. you're out of here. I'm gonna walk around this half living. room I love the half living room I've. become such a [ __ ] half living room. like [ __ ] Diva dude I love the I. gotta get the half living room for what. I don't know but I gotta have it you got. it it's like dude Hotel it's like they. give you half of every room yeah.

one room I know I know. um it's like the Power Rangers like they. all got together we're like this is yes. you know it's like yeah the the it's all. the different ones the last what the. [ __ ] was that called the last Mohicans. maybe no Zordon was their [ __ ] leader. oh are you talking about what was it. called when they got together. uh are you talking about the Brooklyn. Nets yeah Kyrie Hardin Kyrie Hardin and. Kevin Durant I'm thinking about the. Brooklyn Nets I'm not sure if now since.

disbanded. um yeah dude. it's like Diddy's Making the Band. bro bad that band was they made it was. the band was horrible but it was a good. show yeah the show we made him get. Cheesesteak your cheese steaks they made. him walk to Philly or whatever the [ __ ]. he made him do bro they didn't do it he. didn't take them anymore. he basically got five brothers and. sisters I know I made him walk six miles. to get him a dessert but at least it was. almost like a story out of the Bible. everything was it felt more like a.

parable. in the future that's what people look. back remember 700 years ago yeah you. know when Bonnie had to [ __ ] you must. go to Juniors for cheesecake and what. did we learn and you must not be tempted. by the evils of Dylon you must be true. to Diddy no matter what the temperature. is Dylon says to you. at least we got the Chappelle show skit. too we got a couple nice cultural. artifacts from that but yes no good. music yeah the music was dog [ __ ].

Chopper he was pretty good yeah Chopper. was good man he was out of New Orleans I. think he fell for the ladies too much. though what else what we got in the news. man let's get a couple of news topics. and you got your special and it's out. tomorrow tomorrow yeah uh four nights in. New York it's on my YouTube channel and. the fat Rascal tour I'm coming all over. the place I'm going to cleave like just. I'm doing a bunch of fall dates they're. selling well it's big theaters so it's. like I'm a little nervous but they're. selling pretty good you know but it's.

one of those things where when you do. small shows and sell them out you feel. good but we have these like big rooms. and you're like [ __ ] I hope this just. keeps selling at this time oh it's so. scary and almost that almost became too. scary for me. um it's one I it becomes okay I had a. real problem with that yeah and I still. do sometimes it's like I'm afraid yeah. it's like the last there's something. inside of me the last thing I want man. this is crazy I didn't really realize. this. is the there's a huge fear that. somebody's not going to show up for me.

yeah yeah so and it doesn't mean like. actual people buy it's not but it's like. goes back to like being a child it's. like somebody's not gonna be there oh. dude absolutely so if I put you put. something out there you're basically. opening and saying hey will you be here. for me and it's kind of different. because it's a transactional thing and. it's but it's still the same like. concept no I get it you're putting. yourself out especially when it's like. one level higher than you're used to and. it's like you're when when you're. putting yourself when you're at risk. right when you've made yourself. vulnerable and then you're like oh.

I know I could have done this smaller. place but it's like I hope all these. people that it seems like are there are. going to show up and then if they don't. yeah it feels [ __ ] horrible but. things are going good so far yeah you. can knock on wood oh man you're so funny. they definitely will continue to go good. I think I I um. yeah I noticed even more on that topic. that. yeah I commit to my like work is my. biggest relationship because it's like. the safest most controlled place to even. be vulnerable I fully I I felt that.

happening where it was like which is a. little scary right because you're like. you stop being a person and you just. become like oh yeah I've just gotta keep. crushing this because this is this is. going good I know I can control this I. have full control over it. um and you start like like I started. feeling like depressed when I had time. off when I but while I was in it I was. like I can't wait for some time off need. a couple days off I'm [ __ ] run down. and then you get it and you're like. what the [ __ ] do I even do like you know.

what I mean it's like you don't have the. other so I was like and I felt and then. when I went back to work even though it. was like like I had a month I had a like. a stretch where I was on the road like. seven weeks in a row and the one week I. had off I had to do a different trip and. it was like just too much. but when it starts you're like at least. I know what I have to do there's no. ambiguity right there's no think you. know if you're like me there's like no. your own thoughts you don't even have. time to think because it's like I have. to be on the road every weekend I have.

to podcast at some point but you know in. between that and then you know you have. to do. [ __ ] YouTube videos where all this. other [ __ ] and it's like there is. something freeing to not having to make. a decision but then at the same time and. there's something that feels awesome. where it's all going good right you see. the [ __ ] the numbers go up and the. feeling you know feeling of success. but that is a little like that's that. could be a trap too because yeah some of. the [ __ ] you can't have control of. that's that's the scary thing it's like. yeah you gotta kind of put yourself you.

gotta have that vulnerability with just. the person or people in your life or. like some other [ __ ] that's just not. work. um yeah I think when I was a kid I think. I take everything back when I was a kid. I'm like I love just you know walking. through my own haunted house of course. of course yeah oh that's gone yeah. that's going for good. you're on Columbus once you are you know. but yeah I think that like uh.

just uh. going back in in. until like yes somebody gonna be there. is am I gonna be like I think wanting to. be seen too why you even end up doing it. you know yeah yeah why do I need to. go have people. show me that they see me and I think. comedy it's like show me you see me in a. very real way it's like I need proof I. need audible yeah I need to see it and I. need to hear it right right and I did. every 15 seconds and I need it to be.

undeniable and that's one thing I think. about if somebody's laughing it's kind. of if they're genuinely laughing it's. undeniable absolutely so it's like I. need I don't trust things enough in the. space that I'm in or in the like home. space I'm in that I need undeniable. proof that you see me absolutely yeah. and it has to be almost from like a. cellular level so that's why it has to. be right involuntary right laughter is. the one like involuntary thing where. it's like yeah you even if you're trying. not to laugh.

you'll still laugh if it's [ __ ] if. something hits you just right oh yeah. it's just like a fee it's like feelings. just farting right out of your skin yeah. yeah. enjoy feelings feelings yeah yeah yeah. um let's get into a little bit of news. man you got a few more minutes he's. actually uh Starbucks does a Advice Line. show so we didn't know if you wanted to. do a couple voicemails together oh I. would love that yeah stavy's world we do. have to show his advice so I'd love to. help the love to help the fam out all. right let's bring it up so Savvy you. have on your show you have yeah stavy's.

world we do half voicemails so it's like. we bring somebody on and next time you. know come anytime you want come to the. show for sure it's been so much fun man. yeah dude we just [ __ ] around for the. first half out for the first 45 minutes. of the show and then we do advice and. people just call in with all types of. [ __ ] so praise yeah stabby's world we. got we got two episodes a week one free. one patreon so yeah dude yeah so I'd. love to I'd love to help some of the. [ __ ] let's see what we got here play. it up brother kind of like a call back. to a classic that was on the show we'd. like to get like gestavros's take on it.

okay okay. Theo. um. I'm calling I have I work in a uh. Learning Center okay and these past few. weeks I've been having. there's just been I work with special ed. kids and uh you know it's yeah it's it's. a job it gets stuff done but recently. there's been a kid named James he has.

autism. and. uh recently he's been trying to. uh. sexually assault me. and you know I don't really care but. it's more frightening for the other. students. and. the thing is you know. I know they can't help it and stuff but. every time he does it he just has this. look in his eyes. this lustful evil look.

stop that James stop it James please. stop what's he doing you know he'll be. helicopter in it and it's just. helicopter. and we're a little yeah we're a little. afraid for our safety okay that's it no. way this isn't [ __ ] real that sounds. real to me you don't think that that's. real hell this kid's pulling his [ __ ].

out and flipping it around what would. you do if you pulled your [ __ ] out. I guess I would give it an up and I. order another full helicopter maybe. that's a that's a size issue maybe this. autistic kid's got a nice [ __ ] piece. and he's really letting it hang I would. go up and down just because the. helicopter's not as impressive when the. when the circumference of the helicopter. when it's like a mini. like a hummingbird. it's more of a drone. [Laughter].

oh and yeah I think oh I think the first. thing you do if you've already exposed. your penis you have to then and then you. realize okay this is weird I don't know. what you need an emotion I think you. have to spin your penis okay that's fair. and this kid's doing it on a primal. autistic level too he's just kind of. connected it's like he's not thinking. he's just pulling his dick great limbic. system it's like very much yes yes if. you are uh you see this a lot on nature. Channel yeah you know where the monkey. or kind of or the uh the way a monkey.

uses penis this kid probably uses his. penis yeah or a grasshopper or something. or like a uh one of those little like uh. lizards or something they'll clean off. all the area around them and then. they'll make their thing real big like. this they'll make their little like uh. like a mating like a hat kind of it's. like okay part of the back just like a. fake hat pops out behind their head. and it's like red and blue yeah yeah. yeah but I think everybody has their. mating call and you say you think this. kid's pulling his penis out is his.

mating call I think what else would it. be. if you're autistic. I don't still have very that's the thing. I think everybody's gotta worry. everybody has Primal needs man yeah it. doesn't even matter I would think okay. so if you're if he's really this horny. is this dick hard. and once you think it's hard you're not. really in the helicopter Zone. I wonder if autism can get an erection. oh I think they can you think oh yeah. I think they could probably get real. nice ones because they're not in up in.

their head like we said it's limbic oh. yeah I have some anxiety problems. sometimes my dick's not getting hard. because I'm you know nervous yeah this. kid's not nervous especially if his dick. is out in math class you know he's like. overridden yeah his dick has overridden. his feeble autistic mind yeah and just. gotten hard like with well you know this. root is square yeah. I don't think I think this guy's lying. though it's at least a rectangle. cylinder what about uh you think this.

has a line I think so he he wow it's. funny because yeah I I I I didn't think. I could feel a smile on his lips it's I. could say I could hear the smile on his. lips yeah you could be right. I just feel like if a kid is pulling his. dick out in a special ed first of all it. has there's no way it doesn't happen. well it happens in regular head. if somebody tells you you're special. you're definitely gonna pull your dick. out. I feel like it's the first thing you do. so okay so maybe though but you're not.

though so maybe they've misdiagnosed him. maybe this is a form of rebellion. although he's he claims he's got an evil. lustful look in his eyes and he says. he's sexually assaulting him which means. he thinks the kid is trying to rape him. or I think he said the kid has a look in. his eyes and the kid is trying to be. sexually deviant right but I believe. that the kid is just trying to advance. sexually now let's how about this. isn't this a perfect place for sex. robots. because you don't want to Jack the kid. off that smallest station right yeah but.

if there is a in fact sex robots and. special in like high school special ed. that might be the place they're most. needed. just get them. you know what I mean clear their brains. they're up against enough challenges. learning how to read already you don't. want them hard too. they should have you should have to milk. every special ed kid before you start a. lesson I've actually flipped completely. on this I think this is the natural way. to deal with this we need those Chinese.

dick sucking machines that Jordan. Peterson retweeted I don't know if you. saw that yeah. yeah yeah I think you gotta if you bring. in robots just for a sec yeah I wonder I. don't know I think you almost have to. have a parent of a child like this they. would have to sign a permission slip for. sure that's what I'm saying you can't. just I think send a robot in there or be. like hey who's got 50 cents you know. it's in the hole. I think a gumball machine. yeah. [Laughter]. let us all out to get a candy every now.

and then. you're actually you know what that's. true the school nurse has to I think you. have to have someone there because they. it can't be because if it was like but. then are you teaching a autistic kid. sorry I stepped on you going no no no no. no no no please are you T I don't know. but is it Pavlov's dog now are they. going to get horny every time they learn. a new fact. you know you've taught them to evacuate. their nuts before learning that's a good. point that's a yeah and then you might.

have to do the opposite you listen all. day. we let this robot suck your dick. you know I can't throw about this. masturbating like that yeah yeah yeah I. guess you're right you can jack him I. feel like if I have autism and you put. your I just like the uh the sensory. overload yes. of a robot like you know. yeah it would be more of a jacking off. thing and it wouldn't look like a woman. we want this to feel medical okay we. want to just be a whole you put your. your special penis inside of and it just.

drains you and put gets you in the mind. frame for learning docile you know. yeah ready to learn. honestly that's crazy brother. yeah I feel like I would learn I would. have learned a lot better in high school. if they like somebody jacked me off. right before you would have been you. would have just gotten in line over and. over again yeah that's true you would. have missed every class well that's why.

I should be controlled you'd had a book. bag full of dried out semen. you would still be in school there. I'm in Community College I've been. continuing education. wait 19 pounds you'd have no. you have nothing left in your body. yeah that's true you're right let's get. uh let's see what other news we got it's. not a perfect solution.

but yeah at that age man that's tough oh. it would be just. it would be a lot huh I just remember. specific lessons I probably missed. because I was thinking about sex so much. yeah my tea I had a hot teacher you know. what I mean think about getting oh yeah. we had a lady when she would come over. I would say I don't know what this is. right and she would come over and I. would be so just caught up with like the. smell of her and like and even just her.

possible tits like and she had like nine. layers of clothing she had like clothing. from like the 1600s she had all of that. with the color frilly collar oh. definitely she had bra over bra under. Pro you know yeah yeah she had her tit. she had an underbite on her kid she had. every yeah thing you could have right as. much as you could you know yeah and uh. you could still feel her tits her tit. meet sometimes being closer to radiating. through all that clothing oh dude.

believe me I had it one of my kids in. sixth grade you just wanted to get in. humongous fake titties oh fake ones yeah. oh they didn't allow them at our school. I remember that it was natural you only. had natural hair big natties to teach. they did a silicon they did a [ __ ] uh. they put her through an MRI make sure. there's no they make sure there's no. silicone in those titties the the. principal's like okay checks out things.

feel good but back then dude they had. the one you could tell if that's true. the Technology's gotten really nice it. looked like everyone looked like. somebody had vacuum sealed a couple. chicken cutlets. they were a little too heavy you could. see exactly where they yeah they were so. tight I was like man this thing this. lady to my knowledge had pretty awesome. tits. um like you could she didn't wear she.

didn't have like multiple layers she was. putting them out there like she would. look at me wrong you wouldn't see. cleavage but it would be like one of. those things which like a just a tight. t-shirt oh man she has big old titties. yeah this lady I wanted to drive right. through her tits with a small car. a Geo Metro driving geometrics yeah yeah. and I would have left the windows down. and just. oh yeah. well another another I remember speaking. of just being in proximity of titties or.

hot girls or whatever how exciting dude. my neck would turn red if I got around. some tits yeah I was like oh my [ __ ]. God I remember when I was like in fifth. grade I had to wear a scarf for like. three months dude because I was just so. horny. because I remember the blood would like. it would just. you had an anti-erection scarf. you just remember. the blood would come to the edge of my.

skin yeah yeah oh it was like get me out. of here. oh man I remember I because I had I had. a full beautiful head of hair in high. school I had this this hair length but. it was like even longer and like curlier. and nice and you know my school my high. school was like. um uh it was like you know most it was. like 85 black or 90 black yeah and then. of course Greek we I was cool I was like. I was on the football team I was a fun.

funny guy you know whatever I was. hanging out and uh and girls would just. love to just play with uh your curly. white hair you know what I mean they. would girls would love to like braid my. hair and I just remember just like just. feeling the warmth of a [ __ ] like when. a girl was like standing over you yeah. but no I mean like oh you feel uh yeah. this girl almost had a heater I don't. know what was going on she had a little. convection oven oh yeah between her legs. and I remember feeling beat oh yeah on.

my neck and I was like it's a real thing. look up uh. [Laughter]. the um. is the vagina warmer oh for sure at we. can't say it in children. [Laughter]. whatever what you look up dude. because I don't think you can do stuff. like that yeah no I but I think probably. when you're just joking.

and for the record I was 16 she was 16. yeah and everybody even in my. imagination right now is it's 38 years. old. are we gonna go to jail bro no you. didn't search it so we're good did you. search it no when is the vagina warmest. was the closest I was willing to get to. okay that could be time of day. okay let's see what it says. or maybe we shouldn't it sounds like.

uh vaginal temperature indicative of. thermal uh. is winter vagina a real thing let's look. at that. maybe this will get us out of trouble. to put it mildly not all experts are. convinced it's a real problem. what's going on here uh this is very. bloggy the vagina maintains a steady. temperature and human body temperature. only Rises with the outside temperature. when someone is suffering from heat. stroke maybe this girl was out in the.

sun too long. because I do remember uh just an. emanating [ __ ] oh I remember being. around a woman's vagina dude and just. the first time you even like well I. remember the first time even like a girl. allowed yeah allowed you to put your. deviant. criminal. perverted [ __ ] claws on her yeah yeah. yeah yeah and how every part of her body. was like a and you would touch anything. yeah it would be like whoa what's going. on here oh just put your elbow in like.

yeah yeah yeah. oh yeah I remember being so excited. brother just to be alive and be touch. woman but I do remember around there. like. Uber or whatever that it would be warmer. yeah or it would seem more it could have. been in your brain it could have been. your brain because it's been how bad you. wanted access to some [ __ ] because you. felt like like the uh uh briefcase in. Pulp Fiction were just oh yeah like. that's what [ __ ] was in your head was.

just like sometimes it's like warm yeah. oh yeah sure there's been plenty of. those oh the briefcase we're leaving. here. but all right we changed around and. thrown in the ocean. remember yeah man it would just you. would be so. I mean just geeked up. I mean it was like even if a woman. wasn't gonna let you touch her but even. just that the fact that she let you put. her hands all right first time just.

being around a damn titty I remember. putting my ear up to it. this girl that was like the first girl I. ever even dated in. out of Summer putting my ear up too and. then hearing the ocean. no I think I even remember this is kind. of crazy but I think I even remember. doing like the Pledge of Allegiance. that would make me patriotic the first. time I see tits. that's a beautiful moment. I mean that's awesome.

that's breast autism I mean it's like I. think it's as close as you can get. probably. knowing that you have these feelings and. they are just. they take you over yeah that's the thing. yeah for sure. I mean I remember just the first time uh. when you guys made love where was it in. a in an apartment like a dorm first time. I got [ __ ] was in a dorm that's. beautiful but it was nice it was cool. because it was like she my college.

girlfriend wanted to kind of like wait. and she was like all right well you know. I had gotten jacked off I had gotten I. think she blew me and it was like she's. like all right well now you can go down. on me I was like great and uh she just. uh she I ate her [ __ ]. I licked recruiters. I tickled her cooter. and uh I remember being like feeling.

proud of myself because her plan was to. just let me lick her color over Cube and. she was like you know what maybe we. could just have sex right now she said. that yeah she's like let's just [ __ ] it. out and it was like and like let's have. sex now and I was like real nice and it. was oh it was like incredible and I was. just like I can't this is incredible. like I felt like I earned my natural. [ __ ] eating abilities I hadn't eaten I. think that's the first time I ate a girl. out like I had like fingered a girl. before right right right but I'd never. like and when you was it daytime or was.

it daytime yeah first time I had sex was. like uh it was like 11 A.M it was it was. like it was like [ __ ] Price is Right. is on bro imagine I think I literally. went to like lunch with like. like a like a family friend afterwards I. think it was like we were she was over. my in my dorm and it was like what do. you what'd you do this what are you up. to today they were just talking about. [ __ ] and I was just like like I think it. was like a guy was trying to get an. internship with yeah like right I busted.

the first time inside a woman ever and. I'm this guy's talking to me about like. Greektown development yeah and I'm like. I don't give a [ __ ] about any of this. yeah like I'm having a kid in nine. months. it was in a concert. where this apartment complex goes. let's get some more news on what else is. going on out there I'm trying to think. of what happened I don't even know dude. I haven't been well they had this beer. the beer all this a lot of stuff with. trans activism you know shout out to. them yeah and it's got to be uh but what.

is it what is being trans yeah I mean I. know it's like. is it. I know it's men or women who want to be. the other right yeah or they feel stuck. inside of the they feel wrong fully. convicted yeah I think that's a good way. to put it convicted in the wrong body. right that's what it seems like to me. anyway although some people just want to. go I'm neither I'm non-binary you know.

I'm throwing on some overalls I'm just. hanging out I'm getting honestly a. haircut a lot like yours that's like so. many lessons yeah yeah but I think. Mullen is a pretty nice non-binary. look yeah do you think what do you think. because there's a lot of companies now. that are advertising stuff right I mean. this is hilarious Kid Rock it's just. [ __ ] chill out Kid Rock got me Kid. Rock but he's also Kid Rock I know you. know I'm like [ __ ] Anheuser-Busch have a.

terrific day well you really showed them. buying their [ __ ] and shooting it with. guns and then basically giving them a. giving them an advertisement. like everyone who likes trans people is. going to be like damn Kid Rock's dumb. I'm gonna get some Bud Light. know there's been but kid apparently. grew up rich. he uh that's kind of wild grip at least. middle class yeah yeah his family had a. car dealership I think oh okay nice yeah. I think I think the thing about it I.

think is that he's the place that he's. coming from is. do. are they trying like. what is I just wonder what is the biz. what is is there a business goal of it. does it seem. that's what I'm just curious about it. because it seems like an interesting. move yeah yeah yeah I see that's the. thing that's what I think has kind of. been blown kind of crazily out of. proportion is like trans people that I.

know they just want to be trans right. they don't they just want to like not be. like kill like because that's the thing. as a if you're like going M to like M to. F if you were like born a man you. transition to female it's like that's. like a lot of them like become sex. workers a lot of them like get like. violence against them guys who feel like. they've been either tricked or like. whatever and it's like scared it's like. a pretty scary thing to you know it's a. pretty like tough lifestyle and they're.

just like hey I just want like not to be. killed and to be like basically. respected and to be able to go to like. the doctor and I just don't it's such a. low percentage of people too that's. what's crazy to me that we're having. this discussion that's the part to me is. interesting it's such a small and I. wonder are you helping trans people by. like Bud Light like is this the move to. help. because I I totally understand what. you're saying like imagine if you are if. you feel that way right imagine if you.

really feel it right yeah now I think. there's a big there could be a. difference between people who really. feel it and also now if they're. commercializing it or if they're. sensationalizing it so much that a mind. that isn't sure now adapts to it to like. have a cause because people will can. grasp onto a lot of causes right for. sure and I think like. I think like with any kind of thing that. gets a lot of publicity you will have. people that are like. just unsure will like reach on to it and.

you will have here's the thing with. anything that gets any traction you'll. get people doing it cynically to get. famous right right but the way that. there's like it's like a one percentage. of people are trans. point zero zero one of them are like. these weird people doing it for. attention right you know so it's like. that's what it's crazy about these. discussions is like for the most part. what we're talking about is like let. people have jobs you know like just let. them have basic and the way I look at it.

right is like just let them go about. their lives without facing. discrimination and like who gives a [ __ ]. yeah what do you care if somebody like. was born a guy wants to chop their dick. off and be a girl yeah why does that. bother you and I do find it a little. ironic where it's like especially people. that are talking about like you know. like. not to get super political with it but. it's like the states that are very anti. the trans [ __ ] it's like you have people. talking about how they want limited. government but then they're like oh I. have to check your daughters to see if.

your daughter has a vagina before like. Florida was talking about a bill where. they're tracking girls periods to prove. their their to prove their biological. female it's like like a white bracelet. or something yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah a hoop trap Florida yeah Ron. DeSantis wanted one around like teen. girls yeah. inside of them and it's like aren't you. supposed to be the one for like limited. government but we're checking girls. period it's just like or they made it. like illegal to mention it period it's.

like dude it's [ __ ] crazy and I'm. just like I don't get like I have. something I don't understand why it's a. bit like if someone's trans let them be. trans like I would never be upset at. anybody that's trans or like I would be. very curious what it's really like for. sure I would be very curious in today's. world what if someone is like just gay. and they see an option to be for a clout. or just totally uh straight and season. it because there's such a me it's such a. like yeah like you know a currency out.

there now that I could see that being. some but I don't say that to diminish it. because those people are also. diminishing if people are really dealing. with that like for sure I don't know I. guess I guess I just wonder is this the. best person to introduce that. to the work like because a lot of people. now are just starting to talk about. trans which is maybe is good but it's. also such a small percentage of people I. guess I just don't understand. well is this going to be helpful to. trans people because it almost.

like if I'm a trans person right and my. life is tough right yeah if I really am. if I because I believe that you know I. mean you makes God makes so many cookies. man you could yeah yeah yeah yeah. something or nature could be also. merging you don't know yeah and I also. think in like other societies like. ancient ones people were kind of like in. between genders and other sites had like. multiple genders yeah look at Robin Hood. yeah exactly those guys are in Tights. come on you tell me you know somebody. somebody threw on made Marion's dress.

Big John was a bear dude yeah. but I just want I guess I wonder if. we're like say like a regular trans. person who does not want the wild. attention right and who just is trying. to figure out their thing do they think. that this is I wonder if this is feels. comfortable to them that now it's this. thing it's like attached to be it's like. yeah I don't know I know you mean like. it's become like a uh like um well. anytime like advertising or whatever you. know when you become super mainstream.

but I think a lot of the attention is. unwanted I think for the most part but I. do think it's because it's like kind of. a political backlash because I think. I think of what. I don't want to get [ __ ] super. political here right yeah maybe we are. getting but but there is something to a. culture War thing where conservatives. have been very shrewd starting with like. Karl Rove where it was like. um they it started with gay marriage. right and it's like because people are. like like [ __ ] sucks in America for a.

lot of poor people but I think when you. don't when you don't want to offer poor. people anything in terms of like. material help in terms of like better. schools better you know Healthcare like. healthcare is a big issue right like. people are [ __ ] and everything's. getting more privatized and there's less. like support. I think the way that you uh that you get. people to like vote for you is you like. rile them up and scare them whether that. and like there's this big backlash. against trans people because I think. it's become a conservative Boogeyman.

where they're talking about like you. know drag queens and they're talking. about how drag queens are gonna like. groom your like they're calling gay. people groomers and [ __ ] and I think. that's really dangerous and I think that. attention has come because trans people. are being used as a political tool in. the negative whereas like I mean dude. it's so funny to hear people talk about. how drag queens are like you know oh. they're so dangerous for kids where it's. like drag queen like you think they. molest P like politicians and Priests.

are up two million kids to zero on yeah. that's the drag queens it's like you. know maybe a thousand maybe like a. thousand yeah yeah maybe there's one. yeah there's one of them whatever but. it's like still drag queens are gonna. start having to do like flea flickers. and like trick plays to get back in the. game yeah. compared to politics they're the ones. [ __ ] kids and it's like it's just. become this political Ploy you know yeah. it's like yeah that's it I mean look. that's a that's a really great Point man. I think what I hear a lot of times that.

people are scared of especially on the. backs of like the vaccine and stuff like. that people are scared that. well is this some another reach where. they're trying to where the media will. then use like a lot of like film. television exposure about gender. uncertainty and then to start to get you. young people to want to take like a. gender blocker right or some type of a. medicine right and I don't know enough.

about the medicine yeah yeah but I think. as when I look even how influenced I was. I mean I watched WWE wrestling yeah if. the rock cut his dick off you'd be. thinking about it dude if somebody threw. my grandmother against the if somebody. just threw my grandmother against the. ropes yeah I would have kicked that. bitch's head off. that's how influenced I was by WWE yeah. absolutely it was over bro no amount of. calcium pills was gonna bring her back. yeah so I think that's a lot of people's.

fear it's like man there's so much. influence over my children that. if they start to use this chip are they. then just going to come in with another. medicine on the back of covid where a. lot of people are skeptical about the. vaccine now sure and rightfully so yeah. so I think that's probably a lot of I. think that's a lot of the fear yeah but. but I think the the molestation part. you're right it's like yeah it's like oh. you can't molest my kids I'll let them. you know it's only going to be done by. my own Yeah by my preacher yeah yeah. yeah yeah not a guy with lipstick which.

again it's not like I do think I just. don't think I just don't I'm not. convinced that the numbers are that big. where it's like all of a sudden all. these kids are transitioning because. they think it's cool I think it's so. hard to do that like people would say. that about like uh in like sports right. or like Leah Thompson they were talking. about that swimmer yeah who like was. trans then was like a much better. swimmer as a woman than than she was as. a man. the idea that you would cut your dick. off to win [ __ ] College swimming.

do you really want to you really want. that bronze medal in College swimming. that bad that you're going to chop your. nuts off it's like I don't know that's. like and then have people like you'd. swim faster without you yeah that's. might be weighing you down sure you're a. seal but it's just like I guess I'm not. convinced that like I think a lot of. this [ __ ] is just fear-mongering for no. reason yeah and especially when you see. the statistics like I saw some poll I. don't know I don't know if like we can. find it but it was like there's like a. poll of [ __ ] of like the percentage.

people thought a bunch of things not. just trans but like a ton of stuff like. right how many people are a Muslim in. America how many people are like get. whatever and everyone overestimated. everything and that like I think I. literally think Tran like a percentage. of trans people America is like like one. percent I think we looked at the other. day it was 1.7 million about five. percent young adults say their gender is. different from their tax number see now. this article sounds so delusional to me. right yeah five percent of Youth it. could be now that could be they asked a. hundred youths in Brooklyn yeah outside.

you know that that's the thing about. articles you just don't know but that. kind of percentage Yeah you see that it. could definitely make people think. what's going on and then you get yeah. you get scared why else is so scary man. I also think there's a difference. between like fully transitioning and. being like hey I do think there's a lot. of kids who are like hey maybe I'm. non-binary yeah I'm like I'm not going. to change anything medically but like. maybe I'm gonna start instead of being. called Eric my name is now sock yeah and. I'm half a guy you know what I mean like.

like it is there is like there is some. change in that I think definitely I. think I have more like young friends who. are like maybe in open to experimenting. with gender in that they think you know. the way every generation has different. radical ideas to older people and I. think that's another thing I try and. think about is like you don't want to be. the old guy who's like well that's not. right that's not how I had it yeah you. know what I mean like the part of me is. like I defer to young people sometimes a. little bit or it's like and some of this.

like people are gonna find themselves. and they're gonna like settle down and. it's like whatever they might those. percentages might like drop or whatever. but it's just like I think this [ __ ] is. kind of like fluid and like always. changing but ultimately I don't think. it's dangerous like that's the thing. it's like who gives a [ __ ] if somebody. wants to change their name or like be. perceived as something else I don't. understand why you [ __ ] care yeah oh. I don't I don't think I feel like a lot. of people probably don't yeah yeah but I.

think if it came to a point where then a. kid could go get say If I'm 14 right. yeah sure and I don't know how I'm. feeling right yeah maybe I'm gay maybe. I'm straight maybe uh women just don't. like me bro I mean there was times when. I was younger when I thought that women. didn't like me enough that I thought. maybe I'm supposed to like men dude me. too I was like I was like maybe I'll. just I was like there must be something. wrong with me yeah yeah yeah you know. yeah yeah that maybe in my head somehow. I'm messed up I'm not messed up but I am. I'm just not seeing things clearly yeah.

you know and for sure no I'm with you. there so say if you're going through. that and then you decide to that's where. it's like I just don't like it when. there's possibility for the drugs to get. involved that's the part for me that's. like. man I don't know because I got on. antidepressants at a young age and I. can't get off of them yeah yeah you know. so I don't know it's it's definitely. interesting and I think look we've had. some good thoughts about it you know. some good like discussion about it and I. will say just from uh like I've hooked. up with some people who are they them.

non-binary I've gotten some excellent. they then [ __ ] damn really yeah yeah. absolutely wow brother no joke I'm the. best head I've gotten is a tie between. two they them. wow people it was awesome damn yeah it. would probably traditionally appear. though you know they they if you saw. them you'd probably oh yeah you know. what I mean but still yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah so shout out to you know they. them [ __ ] is very powerful and it's out. there the Lord's leap year. babies ugly exactly look a lot of like.

Asian people I think are have a or uh uh. are against this sort of thing they're. very like gender yeah you know you. samurai or ninja yeah they're even. starting to name their kids I think like. him him was one of them. it's like nobody's confusing my son. amen. that was lame that was a little joke.

you know what's interesting man is that. I wonder a lot what Nature's doing like. because that's what we don't know we. don't know what nature is doing yeah we. don't know every second that we are a. lot every like right now right now right. now that's what nature is doing yep so. we don't know also if nature is doing. something genetically where in the. future we're all gonna be. one color or one yeah you know. ambidextrous yeah wearing like just an. ambidextrous holster.

our way that's true you could like. remember like uh like WWE figures where. you could like switch the heads and it. was like maybe you have a genital soon. it could it's like you [ __ ] you just. you flip your dick it goes into your ass. and now you got a [ __ ] or maybe you got. a [ __ ] under your balls maybe that's. how we evolve oh imagine if you lifted. up your balls and get a vagina vagina. right under it oh like now it's time for. the show.

yeah rope that's on your leg. your balls to spread apart like their. curtains yeah. um yeah but I just then why are they I. don't know why if it's a small thing and. I feel like it's a I just feel like it's. such a sensitive topic for whoever's. really going through that yeah yeah that. I don't know if it's the right thing for. a company to come along. I don't know see you know what I'm.

saying I don't know what you're saying. like or what I'm I'm questioning I just. I don't know I just want to feel that. out I understand the question I think. like pause I think anything that kind of. normalizes a struggle that somebody's. going through is fine you know is like. okay like I see what you're saying where. it's like it brings attention to it and. the negative attention to me is a. problem but it's like it's on the people. who are negative about it like you know. I'm obviously very like I just don't. I think the real problems are the. legislative is the legislative stuff. that's happening against trans people.

personally yeah where it's like it's. making their lives difficult it's making. some people not be able to get like. medical care it's you know well. insurance will make find any reason not. to give you anything well that's the. other thing it's like yeah that's. another problem with our country where. it's like so many of our biggest. problems come down to we don't have our. Basics covered in the richest country in. the history of the world which is so. [ __ ] up like no one should be [ __ ]. well it's not profitable it's not you. know yeah it comes down to a bottom line. you start to feel like a you know you.

start to feel like a pawn I think that's. I think that's another thing it's such a. time where everything that the media. does feels like someone is being pawned. that I think that just the everything. these days I feel like kind of makes me. a little bit nervous yeah you know I I'm. with you too I am a little I'm like. What's the shell game here yeah yeah. yeah I'm a little pessimistic about the. course we're on in general just because. of like you know global warming [ __ ] but. also like inequality in America is so. crazy where it's like yeah dude and I. think a lot of the anger that you see in.

general like even like even for some. people trans has become like a boogeyman. and it's like they're angry because yeah. their family member has [ __ ] cancer. insurance doesn't cover it their job has. been you know their job is gone there's. no [ __ ] you know a train gets. derailed no one's [ __ ] cleaning it up. now they have [ __ ] poison in their in. their water and it's like these are all. things that could be covered with like. if we held our government accountable. and they just like we had to they had to. provide basic needs for people yeah but.

everything is gone kind of to [ __ ] and. it's like it's easy to start disagreeing. about the stuff that does not matter. when you're just so angry because you. feel like you're getting sued because we. are getting screwed but we're getting. screwed by in my opinion big. corporations by everyone who's just like. gobbling up all the money and making. sure that it's like you know wait you. know wages having place with inflation. you know minimum wage if it was like. what it was in the 70s now it should be. like you know like 40 bucks an hour or. something you know what I mean like.

I think that's the root of all like our. disagreements and all our all the anger. here and I think. oh yeah when people don't feel like. they're not belonged to yeah like. they're taken care of or they used to. feel like you also well at the same time. that you're kicking down the traditions. of the country yeah you know and at the. same time that you're taking you're. taking away like or you're making it. harder I think I don't know it's a lot. there's a lot of stuff I'm not trying to. not talk think about it it's just a lot. yeah no and maybe I'll curve maybe I'll. turn the subject so we can get into.

something a little happier yeah funny. ones we can go into okay let's get into. one or two funnier ones man talk about. that look man I love thinking about it. I'm with you too I mean I just I really. I think it's important to talk to think. about for sure you know because I that's. the thing I don't I don't know anybody. that is trans and a lot of my friends. don't you know and I'm even in La five. months yeah yeah yeah I have some French. oh wait we have one we had a guest Robin. Tran Robin Tran I believe so yeah and.

that is a little on the nose I mean. Robin Tran is a comedian and I don't. know she didn't have the surgery at that. time okay. um. uh. and then Joe Dash. was a male comedian and he has. um I don't know Robin personally. yeah j-o-e-d-o-s-c-h. Fifi now is his name and he got a.

transition okay. I believe I don't want to talk out of. pocket he's Joe's Joe's one of the most. is one of the uh. smartest and uh. just really Mo it was really a. captivating yeah um I don't know him as. much as a woman and I don't think it's I. don't know if there's a difference. between knowing someone when they are a. man or a woman wouldn't that be crazy. because I had a buddy that used to clean. the pool over at my friend's house right. yeah yeah and uh they would come every. year right and there was a big guy right. and he was awesome right and then one.

year he came dude he lost a lot of. weight and I was out there just catching. some d right yeah yeah vitamin vitamin. and uh. you're out there all getting spit. roasted. catching something you go to extreme you. just feel like if you're catching some D. you're getting more than one you know. what I mean it's like if you're getting. a d it's different catching some I guess. I thought about like the way vitamin D.

is like you're being bombarded with. sunlight I guess I was thinking. bombarded with dick yeah yeah you know. that's why I went right to spin roasted. you're right you're right. it's just even hypothetically I don't. want to be doing that much gay stuff but. um. but what happened then uh oh and we need. lost so much weight I didn't first of. all I didn't really know it was him I'm. like who's this guy who's just talking. who's this piece of ass yeah we have. three friends.

that's just talking to me so much. um and then I was like oh my God he. seemed like a different guy yeah yeah. yeah so that's what I wonder too if you. met if it was like a book if you met. talk to someone before and after how. much change is different like because. dude that's a journey. well that's the thing I remember the. first time we went to Florida when I was. a kid and I was like this is going to be. crazy. yeah but imagine every cell in your body.

in your life yeah you know what I'm. saying we're going to San Fran yeah yeah. oh yeah we're going to San Francisco. brother or we're going to like yeah. Brooklyn you know yeah yeah uh yeah I. mean I think there's probably some you. probably just feel more I would just. guess you'd feel more comfortable you'd. probably feel like more yourself you. know I can't speak I can't speak to. being trans whatever but. um. you know I'm sure you just like maybe. even more pleasant to be around because. it's like anything imagine like hiding.

something and then being and also it's. like a hard thing like a lot of people. don't understand it a lot of people are. could be like probably in your fam like. coming out as gay is hard enough imagine. being like numb to you to like somebody. who would have a problem with being gay. it's like coming out as five times gay. you know what I mean like going yeah I'm. a girl yeah I'm so gay I'm a girl like. that's what a that's what like a you. know like a like I'm chasing my hotel. yeah like you're like you're like the. Ultimate Warrior of gays. like bring up when the Ultimate Warrior.

came in the ring. there was nothing like that brother dude. it was electric yeah yeah when that. happened that changed the scene yeah I. bet there's a lot of gay people that I. saw are like man they're stealing our. foreign. that is huge right now Gator's been like. what are we gonna do guys yeah. absolutely being a white gay guy at this. when it's like. you're not even gay. and maybe that's what some of these guys.

are doing I mean well I would I would go. costume I mean yeah dude wrestling is so. gay it's like and I wonder what does a. nature have plan because Nature's done. some wild stuff too we used to be. caveman right she used to be monkeys. right so it's like what is a lot of rape. in nature [ __ ] up. we're much more civilized now yeah you. know but I feel like we're just a. [ __ ] screen just we're just right. behind a screen door yeah yeah yeah.

power goes out for like two weeks in a. row shit's gonna go bad dude in 40. minutes power goes out I'd be holding my. sister's hand. well again that might be cold it might. be have to again cultural having to do. with you know saying Cooter you know it. was to make sure she's okay. but it's like how you know you find it. now well you're just like dude. that's another thing or there are a lot. of power outage gays out there yeah. absolutely it doesn't even take long the.

lights flicker you're like. what the hell man some guy some guy just. backed up against the light the light. switch it wasn't even an outage yeah. yeah it was a garage door opener just. tripped it. dude calm down without a cloud in the. sky. uh what's another news thing were there. a lot of like secret gay guys where you. were growing up. well when I was growing up they had. you know I've talked about this before. but they had a rest area back behind our. at a river back behind us and they had a.

rest area back there and a lot of gay. men would float on float in almost a. river it was drugged people were back. there drugging nice but you do enough. drugs absolutely you do gay yeah yeah. yeah yeah and so that's when they and. they had a lot of guys are uh they had. and they had these um. these dudes with like one of those. potato launchers like those and they. would every time yeah if they had two. men that got a little too they would. shoot a couple spuds at them they just.

fire a tie down. and it wasn't like trying to hit him but. it was like hey yeah you know the way. you hit a dog with a rolled up newspaper. just a little warning a shot across the. bow yeah yeah just a shot of just. something to listen hey fellas we know. you're here we see what's going on yeah. we respect it yeah but also we know. you're just drugged up right now right. right and we want to come to come drunk. yeah thinking about what you're you know. how you're gonna explain this to your.

fiance yeah yeah you don't want to come. to and be like damn I didn't know they. had a Cinnabon in town. they started making Savory Cinnabons. [ __ ] dude all right what would you have. there Bubba. trying to remember what was happening in. the news I'm trying to remember if we. had any secret gay guys in Greektown. oh well that happened and then they had. a guy who was mentally.

he had a baby he had a um. he drove a bicycle right and he had a he. was mentally handicapped yeah yeah yeah. right full Downs what are we talking a. little touch ups we had a couple guys. yeah so he. it was like kind of like. uh. uh you know he was kind of like uh. he was. um. he was like hide and go special kind of.

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you didn't. know yet I know yeah to get near the. fence and Stimpy close-up to really see. it yeah far away. so and then this is what happened so he. and he and he would ride around town. right his parents got him a bike or. something when he was like 30. okay for. good behavior I'm not sure I don't know. what he was like at home. but his parents so he would always be in.

town yeah cruising the streets everybody. was like he's gay you know. and. the story was he had like they put a. baby seat on his bike right okay and so. there was like um like an old wives tale. or whatever that. he had a husband like a little husband. that had left him oh that sucks. so there was like there was kind of room. there were some people were like you. know get these queers out of here you.

know and there was other people that. were just like you know kind of. heartbroken for him of course because. here he was that he'd had somebody that. he'd lost you know or that had left and. so people were always like so the baby. she was for the little husband yeah it's. not for the baby okay so we're talking. he's a baby-sized husband well that's. what people said yeah. Filipino guy or what are we thinking I. don't know did you guys what kind of how. many Asians did you have grown up. doesn't feel like we didn't have any. there was a rumored Asian actually uh.

they had remember when Pizza Hut had. those unique rooftops bring it up buddy. sure they're yeah remember when Pizza. Hut had those unique rooftops yeah. absolutely you still see it you go to a. town and it's like a bank and that's. it's like wait that's a [ __ ] Pizza. Hut yeah or like a mattress discounters. it's like I know that roof [ __ ]. yeah they used to be [ __ ] deep dish. in here oh there you go right there God. it was beautiful it really was well one. of those uh it's a travesty that they're. not they don't do the sit-down Pizza. Huts anymore they're all takeaways that.

is one of the saddest things it [ __ ]. sucks it's a track when you grow up poor. sitting down in a Pizza Hut that was. Thanksgiving I truly do those little car. the Red Cups the stained glass oh the um. the then some of the pizza pans they. even had like a uh cork or something on. it I think underneath yes yeah. absolutely it felt as the first time so. they would bring out the like cast iron. and you're like oh my God yeah who are.

we yeah this is crazy I've never seen it. yes it was a Titanic. surely dude it was like that and like. our big place was like Applebee's when. it first came out oh yeah like they. first got the East Point Mall in. Baltimore and Dundalk Maryland uh my. family would go there and then uh. Chili's as well but in those days it was. Pizza Hut or Applebee's and that was. like yeah that was when we were [ __ ]. oh that's fancy yeah that'll make it.

yeah absolutely. um but one of those had burned down. right and so that rooftop that unique. roof was fresh on the ground no no and. so people uh I guess a rumor got started. that an Asian family moved in town or. whatever because it looks like a dojo. because the shape is dojo Asian Shake. like uh. [Laughter].

yeah is that it that's like the Korean. like Stone Bowl yeah yeah it had like a. it had a Asian shake. you know and so people were like yeah. they had an Asian government Slidell. Louisiana so okay armor we saved that. money we [ __ ] saved up money to get a. taxi to go over there. to try and catch him or just to see him. yeah yeah I remember we got there and. we're like [ __ ] do you legitimately.

think you could have made money showing. like if you had like a guy from Thailand. in like a little enclosure could you. charge people from Slidell to look at. him. not now but back then. like much but yeah but maybe maybe like. a quarter just take a peek oh I think. for 50 cents people would stop by. but now a lot of people don't know. Louisiana has some of the most. Vietnamese people in the whole world. really because of the fishing yeah we. had the first Vietnamese House of.

Representative House of Representative. yeah representative all right. but yeah back then they didn't happen in. Houston there's so many Viet Vietnamese. people because I don't know why but they. got good ass Fiat food dude yeah Houston. has a crazy Vietnamese population wow I. was I was just there and I was like damn. I would love to get like a like a chubby. Vietnamese wife you know what I mean. yeah that would be awesome grew up. around black people just a lot of. culture shock the viets and blacks get.

along do you think I think in Houston. just because that's who's there you know. and I think there's definitely. a Boy Can Dream anyway. I'm like a like a half like a a mixed. Vietnamese black wife yeah big titties. knows how to cook pho oh it would be. awesome yeah I really would like a. little some because everyone in my. favorites. [Laughter].

there's no there's no end to it brother. that's my dream yeah I want because my. brothers both married white women and no. nothing wrong with that but I just feel. like I gotta get a little something. going what are you a white denier do you. think. I think I am in some ways not denier but. like I I just think like it would be fun. to get a little something different in.

the family photos yeah you know just a. little mix it up a little bit I just. think that would be kind of nice. but that and like my dream would be like. a Greek girl like you know Yana said the. tacumbo he's Greek he grew up in Athens. but he's ethnically a Nigerian like a. Greek and that like he's an ethnic and. American right yeah yeah. is that right I think that's right. Anthony. Athenian American man yeah yeah yeah. um my dream would be like somebody who.

speaks Greek but like. just doesn't look you know what I mean. just just to get a little just to get. the like like Memphis Greek get some fun. in the bloodline yeah yeah mix it up. well you know well that I think look. I've long said that we're all gonna it's. in three four five generations it's. gonna be a lot of like Ben simmonsy sure. very well even you're sneaky because you. said your dad's right my father's from. Bluefield to Nicaragua right and so. Bluefields yeah that's hilarious like a. coastal area bring it up I've never been.

really have you you've never been. Nicaragua at all duh you gotta go though. I know that'd be interesting but see. even what I'm saying is like you got a. little she's got a little something in. the mix so many people do yeah. absolutely that's the thing like even. when you look back on like. like. you talk about like slavery repre it's. almost like I wish they'd just had some. of the invoices. yeah yeah so we can so we could be like. look or if somebody's all the same Fruit. of the Loom then they're you know they. get a little Larry through the loom your.

butt you know yeah. Donnie Haynes yeah yeah. um. like a fake name Nicaragua. yeah dude you got to go they'll be sick. just I mean I don't know if you gotta go. to Blue Fields I don't know if it's cool. or not but you should at least go to. Nicaragua I've met some people on. airplanes and stuff and they've told me. about it [ __ ] yeah dude so you but yeah. my father would speak Spanish a lot and. he would go to he worked as like a uh.

I don't know he didn't work that much I. think. the opposite of The Stereotype yeah you. know I think there was a time when he. did I mean he was 70 when I met him my. dad was very old yeah yeah so yeah. that's another wrinkle yeah let's just. say that in any more podcasts. but it was still I mean I know what you. mean but it's still so interesting yeah. like like I don't know how in depth. you've gotten with it but that is like a. that's something to explore so much. having such an old ass dad made me so.

aware I was just like is Dad okay what's. going on like it was never like in my. okay you know like oh you really felt. mortality at a time when most kids don't. even consider it oh it's scared of. everything yeah because like even. Grandpa like if when grandparents die. that's usually a kid's first entree into. oh wait this [ __ ] might not last forever. but it's like an old ass grandparent. when is your [ __ ] dad you're like. wait the guy's supposed to protect me as. old as [ __ ] and my mom was very cheap.

like you should get to school you should. well you should get to school your dad's. gonna die. drop it into whatever. yeah you want your dad's last memory of. you being cut in class get some good. grades dude he's on death's door yeah I. developed this cut this concept in my. head that if I. did everything perfect that my dad would. stay alive that's [ __ ] wild dude that. crazy that's like that's like light OCD.

it sounds like I didn't realize that. till like last year I did that Ayahuasca. stuff and it made me think and that came. to it that came to my I was like man. yeah when I real when I thought that I'd. never I hadn't thought it for like my. whole life yeah except me when I was. young yeah I just burst down crying yeah. dude reminds you that [ __ ] it's so. [ __ ] up a little kid having that. carrying that oh you should be thinking. about [ __ ] baseball cards and Trish. Stratus is everything okay my dad will. just yeah I think it's just oh part of. it is like yeah you're just heartbroken. for the kid as in a child you know of. course I'm not trying to get into. self-pity but interesting.

dude no that's wild you deserve to be. like damn that was [ __ ] up it's. interesting man what's going on in the. world I think the scare I just get so. scared I get so. activated about how our media use just. trickily use this stuff against us. because they don't seem to have a real. care about the general well-being of. people oh yeah I mean especially once we. go to like 24-hour news and you're. selling advertising it's like when the. news was like couple times a day and.

we're telling you just what happened and. we're not worried about selling ads then. yeah you could probably trust it but now. it's like everyone does have an agenda. and you do kind of have to like cut. through what the [ __ ] being said yeah. and corporate media is just so it's just. like they're invested in keeping like. everything the same and not really. helping anyone and not telling you. what's [ __ ] up yeah they want to keep. in the same pattern too it's just like. you've been uh your race keeps you down. or you're uh where you're from your. Christianity keeps you or just it's just.

something you know it's always something. and yeah if you look at the patterns. like damn that's the same pattern yeah. it's just it's I think they're invested. in the status quo and the like you know. just. yeah I think [ __ ] that doesn't really. affect you and they're not they don't. want to talk about I don't know [ __ ]. that are day to day our day the [ __ ]. these [ __ ] up [ __ ] that's like damn. you know our government did this like. they [ __ ] up this many countries like. you know like all the CIA [ __ ] all the.

like uh you know just just again I I. like inequality [ __ ] like culture War. stuff is easier yeah because it's like. because it's so divisive people feel it. so deeply but ultimately it doesn't. matter you know what I mean it's like we. all it's like going back to the same. [ __ ] it's like yeah you're like your. dad's from Nicaragua it's like even like. we're all the same matter right we're. all the same people everyone's exactly. the same or not everyone's exactly the. same but we all have something in us. that's we can relate to everyone and we.

are different in ways that are cool like. that's even going back to what I was. saying about it'd be cool to have. somebody from a different culture in my. family like I feel like I have to bring. that into my family just because it's. like I don't know I feel like I have a. better time when I'm with diff people. different from me oh yeah do you ever. get the nuggets and they accidentally. put a fry in that bed yeah dude give me. a couple of freaking fries give me a. spicy nug yeah but even with com like to. bring the conversation kind of back to. Comedy it's like I like when crowds are. different from like I like seeing people. that I have nothing like that you.

wouldn't think it's just I'm like bro. like older couples have started coming. to my shows or like people different. races whatever it's like and even like. oh yeah comedy shows it's like I like. doing shows with Comics that are not. like me like I like bringing people who. have different experiences even on my. podcast it's like let me get some gay. dude you know I mean like let me get. some gay dudes let me get some like we. need some gays in here huh get some gays. in here dude damn we got some good gays. get Mateo in here he's the man oh yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah. um.

yeah I think uh it's cool but it is cool. to be around people that are different. than you and just kind of like soak all. that [ __ ] up and you know oh yeah have a. good ass time eat some different foods. suck some different color vegetables. they should have gay Foods. yeah what would be a gay food I think a. clear bro anything that easy on the old. butthole I think. anything clear broth. yeah that could be part of the Barbara.

Pho yeah it's like just a clear broth. for our gay friends it's like. yeah dude I just wanna it's so. interesting to think like what is. history going to be like um but it's. interesting with cult with ethnicities. because we truly only win as a people. right if we all win right yeah that's. the only way that like Humanity if you. hope that a thousand years for whatever. it is that everybody. that's why sometimes I think it's almost. like different ethnicities and cultures.

have like different parts of like the. per whatever is going to bring everybody. Voltron yeah we gotta yeah come to you I. mean I do think you're right in terms of. like it's got to be like a collective. thing yeah like people realize like I. think most people I think America's held. down a little bit by like the richest in. our country where it's like. [ __ ] is hard you know the inequality is. crazy they have a lot of resources like. you know these [ __ ] have. islands and it's like people don't have. [ __ ] water and it's like or you know. people can't like don't have a living. wage or like you look at how Walmart.

treats their [ __ ] workers they're. busting their asses and it's like yeah. they're on [ __ ] food stamps it's like. you got yeah it's like come on like that. like and so I do think there's like a. collective thing where it's like if. everybody realizes that there's a few. people [ __ ] our [ __ ] up you could you. know there's like a there is like a you. know that's what I think like labor. unions are good where it's like you. could just be like hey we do all the. [ __ ] work like you should just you. know have to like there's this weird. thing where it's like even like child. labor is back in certain places like. that's how much they don't want to pay.

people a living wage if they're like uh. they're rolling back like child. protection laws it's kind of [ __ ]. wild dude wow but I didn't know that. yeah there was a couple there's a couple. of states that they just started doing. that [ __ ] and it was [ __ ] it was. [ __ ] crazy but I do think that it's. it's fat yeah it's like how can people. survive on these on on. wages you know yeah no it's [ __ ] up. it's also like some jobs are like. stair-step jobs like to advance yeah. yeah yeah but for some people maybe. they're not these days it's just it's. it's it's child labor laws are under.

attack in States across the country amid. increasing child labor violations. lawmakers must act to strengthen. standards yeah they're like and they're. just even the laws that we have on on. file they're just kind of like ignoring. them and [ __ ] it's kind of crazy I think. we're in a we're in like I think it. feels Lawless right now [ __ ] is kind of. crumbling and it's like like we even are. like basic [ __ ] it's like the. infrastructure in this country sucks. dick yeah the roads are bam track yeah. it's like yeah I mean don't get me. started on that [ __ ] I'd rather FedEx. myself somewhere yeah yeah yeah yeah.

yeah yeah put me in a poke some holes in. a box easy yeah which sucks too because. in this country there used to be so much. rail but that was I mean Amtrak was fun. as [ __ ] dude that's the other thing it's. like when you go back in time you look. at history it's like car companies. destroyed rail in this country but then. they let them Lobby against it so that. they could so that it wouldn't even be. competitive you know I just wonder are. we sitting on the down or do we get to a. point where greed and that sort of thing. has happened so much that it's like.

this is where you end up yeah absolutely. I think that's the logical end of like. always putting profits over everything. it's like I'm not saying you shouldn't. make a you know I think a living you. shouldn't make a profit but it's like. there is something [ __ ] up when it's. like that's the only goal I think you. make a good living you have a product. that makes a good amount of money you. should also pay your [ __ ] work like I. have a problem with Amazon but if Amazon. just took some of their profits and paid. their [ __ ] workers better and made. sure they all got like health insurance. and [ __ ] and be like that's the best.

company well now the profits would be a. little Pro worse but it's like I think. you could that it should be a twin goal. of like make profits and provide yeah. for the people that like work for you. and [ __ ] but yeah it's interesting it's. like um there's a lot it's like because. you ask somebody who's a business person. and they'll you know they'll say. um like Mike Rowe was on here and he. said well people just don't want to do. jobs they don't want to work anymore. it's so it and there can be an article. that's created to kind of make you think. anything of course that's the scariest. part it's like yeah and not know like we.

don't you know we know our instincts. yeah right yeah but um I think it's. unbelievable that there's P that there. are they should put a cap on wealth I. believe I I'm with you actually fully. like when you look at like the like how. we got out of the Great Depression and. [ __ ] and all that kind of stuff it's. like after a certain point it's like you. look it could be a crazy number 20. million dollars a year whatever it's. like after a certain point it's like. okay tax that rate high and then [ __ ].

provide basics for people yeah you know. and it's like it doesn't have to be like. poverty like it doesn't have to be like. no one's allowed to make any money but. it's like it's I do think it's in it's. like a moral issue in America that we. have so much homelessness and so much of. it is like. [ __ ] people that were in the Army you. know it's like it's [ __ ] and like how. much teachers make it's like why the. [ __ ] is a is a teacher getting paid 34. 000 a year but like a consultant you. know what I mean like some [ __ ] fake. job where they tell you to like oh slash.

prices to make more profits why do they. make two hundred thousand dollars a year. whatever it's like that's the [ __ ] where. I just feel like yeah I don't feel like. a very political person but it's like. when I start talking to me it sounds. like it sounds like I'm a [ __ ]. communist but I'm just like no man just. like we should provide for the weakest. in a society when we have so much money. and that's that's like my belief is that. like yeah we should just provide for for. like people and I think you see it with. like you know you still want people to.

work you still want that right of course. but then like it's you know I don't know. it's there's a lot of there's a lot of. like Nuance to all of it but I don't. think that. um but then also you have people that'll. go and have 20 kids yeah and they don't. have any social responsibility to the. fact that. when you do that and have no plan yeah. or anything that the drain you're. putting on society is unbelievable sure. you know just with your own real Cooter. of course once you got the Cooter.

[ __ ] humming what you got that hot. Cooter humming. so I used to think they should take your. nuts away when you're born give them. back when you graduate high school that. would be a great idea that would be. awesome I would love to be able to put. my nuts on ice for a little bit oh yeah. and then make Disney put it to music. it's doing triple axles yeah. [Laughter].

he's looking puffy these days Stavros. thanks so much man I think we've gone. through a lot do you absolutely this is. a great episode dude I mean we even got. serious about stuff so we did yeah we're. not serious guys really though I know. but it is fun to think about this [ __ ]. yeah it's okay to get serious sometimes. I think so yeah I think there's just a. lot going on too yeah it's a it's a. strange time and then how much of it is. just a trap whether it's just like hey. look at this while something else is. going on you know yeah we're fighting. we're over here you know people are.

arguing about um. you know uh uh uh young you know a trans. beer can yeah that would that's exactly. and meanwhile there's like half or you. know they're shipping away a ton of our. money or they're doing this or you know. fully dude. weird I think it's all I think all that. culture War stuff all the especially gay. and trans issues it's textbook. let's get you to not pay attention to. the economic issues that are actually.

ruining your life and making you this. angry. um so I don't know I mean I think that's. a big like I'm I was a big Bernie guy. when it came to the election last time. and I thought like it may I think him. versus Trump actually would have made a. lot of sense because it's like. there's anger like that's there was a. populism behind Trump that the Democrats. would have been smart to like do the to. pick their populist candidate and the. one saying like no big business is. [ __ ] us like we have to [ __ ] like. we have to fight back against this or. they'll take advantage of us and I do.

think that I mean it just comes down to. that man when people are like angry it's. easy to keep them distracted with [ __ ]. that ultimately the guy wants to wear a. dress let the [ __ ] guy wearing dress. but like give me Health Care yeah like. make sure make it so that if my grandma. he gets like if my mom gets a treatable. skin cancer she gets to live and not go. bankrupt and that and it's like when. people are so mad about the fact you. know they're so round up about all the. negative [ __ ] in their lives that it's. easy to channel that into anger against. you know groups that are kind of [ __ ].

marginalized and whose lives are hard. enough already but everybody's life is. kind of funny but that's another thing. too it's like this constant like yeah. and the quality of life is going down so. bad the health care can't just be you. know they can't focus Focus only on the. fat like I don't know it's just. interesting it's like. because kids can go to a therapist now. and say something and the therapist can. put them on a drug do the parents have. the ability to stop them but that's. crazy if your kids like 12 and he's like. I feel like a man woman yeah yeah I.

don't know you may have a closer. connection to it yeah and look none of. these none of these issues are like kind. of dry that's the other thing it's like. these are Case by case yeah again not. that many [ __ ] statistically not that. money and that's the thing even us. talking about it this much [ __ ] I know. we [ __ ] up but hey what are you gonna. do the important thing is people watch. the crowd work special yeah you know. that's important yeah no matter how. you're yeah no matter what's going on in. your uh genetics yeah or a diaper come.

any kind of genitals come to this fat. Rascal tour we won't check to see what. you got you know unless you want me to I. might think it's pretty crazy start. checking people yeah what you got in. there. empty out your purse sir. oh [ __ ] dude all right cool man we'll go. check it out I think it's might be the. longest episode I've ever done hell yeah. dude I got another I'm down this is. awesome it was funny [ __ ] it's hot in. here though it is hot it's been I had a.

hot flight here. like one of those like you know when. you're like not you're so hot your. body's just like having like a fever nap. almost I was like I was like do I have a. fever am I about to like give [ __ ]. Theo covid but I was just hot in the. airplane it turns out don't worry uh but. yeah but I'm feeling I'm I can't wait to. crack that door and just feel like. that's that's our reward for this. podcast I just feel in that breeze. that's it we're like two of those kids. that have to mine for the iPhones or. whatever.

and their lunch break is just cool air. yeah. who wants lunch don't fill up yeah. don't get your lungs too comfortable you. got another 12 hours in the mines. [Laughter]. god dude and it's so sick or even. laughing. I know it sucks but man but we are not. really laughing about it God bless you. guys bro thank you starboards for being. here man thank you brother yeah I'm so. excited to see the new special that. comes out tomorrow tomorrow yep so crowd.

work special just for fun the real the. real big dick specials coming in the. fall I'm recording it in May uh at the. Paramount in Austin I can't believe yeah. that'll be really fun and it'll come out. sometime in the fall but just a little. something to tie the people over you. know you're gonna go to Rogan's new club. I went dude I was checking out the. Paramount I was scouting it on opening. night and so I didn't I wasn't on the. shows but I went to check it out dude. it's [ __ ] awesome really dude it's so. like you walked in there and it was like. whoa there was like of energy there I.

can't wait to go back and do spots there. for sure yeah um I'm excited I'm gonna. pick up some extra spots here when I'm. down in Austin oh yeah dude congrats on. the uh oh [ __ ] congrats on the specials. man thank you brother all right. [Music]. rolling like these leaves I must be. Cornerstone. oh but when I reach that ground I'll. share this piece of my life.

[Music]. gonna take.