State Wars March Madness Pt. 2 w/ Jo Koy | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #185
today's episode is brought to you by. gray block pizza gray block pizza 18:11. Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles and their. sister company bronx-born pizza out in. Bend Oregon gray block and bronx-born. get them hitters. today's guest is uh is a comedian that. has worked harder than any other this. man is uh well actually hell we don't. even really know each other that good. but there's a chance we could get to. know each other better right now in the.
next hour he has a new tour out right. now called break the mold he's. everywhere you can get tickets. at Jo koy dot-com ladies and gentlemen. today's guest is jo koy. [Music]. like things that you could do you do.
yeah I'm not lying so wait every time. you watch my videos jo koy you always. think of things that I could do like. well just like cuz I'm like so on sore. something like no no no no it's like I'm. always like I don't know if you know. this man but you know we've only talked. a couple times like we've been friends. to the industry and we've always been. like you know like when we saw each. other at the clubs it's like hey Theo. hey Joe yeah I never went really further. than that a couple small talk to things. but like you always reached out to me. yeah like when you went and shot you're.
you're special and I always reach out to. you I always get in your head you get in. mine but I just love your hustle and. grind right well so like so I really. enjoy I love watching things that. inspire me and move me forward yeah I. mean so [ __ ] me and there was something. I wanted to say and I just walked on it. it sucks but when you came out with the. animation yeah that character like the. first thing I I said to myself was like. first of all this is a show like this is. the new Simpsons right here whatever. this is is it's [ __ ] amazing your eye.
structure whoever that oh yeah accurate. it's beautiful it's [ __ ] beautiful it. should be it should be a stuffed animal. it should be on t-shirts I mean I got. built in vertigo bro right in the. [ __ ] you know in the eyes eyes are. almost even almost but what I love about. that that whole your rants yeah your. 60-second rants I almost see in that. either coming to life or even seeing a.
live action where you're on stage where. you introduce something with that. animation and then going to stand up. like it's something that you go back and. forth on oh that be interesting show. well one because there's so many people. that are doing that that type of. situation where they're throwing like. Hassan and and I think Chelsea did it. you know I mean and they do that they. use the visual but nothing more original. than yours like it would be just you. doing like your stand up and then boom. you throw it to it gang yeah you don't.
mean and then you throw to it just like. how Appel would intro his bit right like. I didn't ya then go to Katt Williams. what inner like introduce a panther into. the [ __ ] or a tiger or a tiger yeah. he was like right in the middle it is. just right in the middle of his joke he. has six [ __ ] holding like holding. holding an urn of some of someone he but. no one questions what's in it but they. know there's something dead in love it. for sure. my mama's in this [ __ ] man he.
was great man great are you kidding me. and here's the thing this is what I. don't like about the internet um you. only know the guy that you see that's. getting 15 million views because he's. getting choked out by somebody or he did. something [ __ ] up in Ontario. you know you've all done something [ __ ]. yeah yeah but but no one knows like are. you friends with because I'm friends. with him oh no I'm not friends with him. I wish I was I saw him I saw Katt. Williams one time yeah this is the. craziest thing yeah I was standing on. the front porch of the Comedy Store and. you know sometimes you see people that.
have those bikes that have like the. colors lit up in the middle it's like. the lights in him and you're like there. was a group of you know kind of urban. gentlemen driving down the street. together yeah and I looked and in the. main it was back to my buddies Williams. and this is like four years ago. this is hot not literally 30 years ago. and he was a kid this is like there was. just for you know legit gentlemen is. cruising down the street wait are you. telling motorcycles or bicycle bicycles. with those like lit up like it's like. fluorescent as it you know as.
electricity going through the some kind. of our piping in the wheels and it's. colorful so you see these and I thought. it was gonna be four you know yeah under. gentleman because it was kind of gay. colors yeah yeah but it was uh for real. deals man yeah yeah on the street yeah. and then you're like that's Katt. Williams I mean you know cat we Louise. he cat Williams yeah and it was Katt. Williams I go way back when he had a. show uh and at a casino and he used to. he'll put me up every now and then this. is way back man we're talking like I'd. have to say sixteen years ago oh yeah it.
was someone and I think is he used to go. by Cat in the Hat. oh really yeah I used to go by Cat mahat. my friend have a cat and they named it. Williams Mimi like oh that's cat would. that's pretty cool man but I'm telling. you what the thing about. cat is people don't know how nice the. guy is I've heard amazing things I'm so. nice he adopts all his kids he's got so. many kids and he adopts he was so nice. to me I remember I did BET's coming for. you this is so far back yeah and this is. like I didn't have you were black this.
is when I was a black comic before I. became a Latino comic oh yeah it wasn't. like like 11 years when I was like wait. a minute I'm an Asian power and I have a. Filipino mom with a voice hold on by the. end you're Michael Jackson oh my god and. I still did the Apollo and I won how's. that at a black show yeah and then uh. and it was so funny because I I fly into. New Orleans and I forgot where we were.
shooting it but I had no agent no man. anywhere there I just bought a plane. ticket it was a black show Black. Entertainment Television so they forgot. that I was even flying in no one picked. me up no bro swear to God oh you know. and I'm standing there with another. comic yeah that was on the show I forget. his name yeah oh my god you know who. else was on that show was uh oh my god. with a straight uh uh wait no stop no.
come on. the little Duval was on that Duval this. was his first ever TV appearance real it. was a little Duval like and he was. really little like he was young like he. he earned the name little you know like. 17 or some shitty before like it was 46. go Duval be middle-aged Duval you know. be all Duval Duval or elderly elderly. Duval but uh but all I know is I was. standing there and I'm just like I'm.
literally homeless bro I had like 150. bucks to my name I'm trying to get to. this hotel I remember saying to myself. maybe I can catch the shuttle I tried to. pick up you know though you know those. phones that show you all the hotels you. pick it up and press the number at the. airport yes that [ __ ] never works. yeah they never [ __ ] work man it. doesn't go to the hotel in a shuttle now. we'll send a shuttle like it's literally. it's usually a woman that sounds like a. could possibly doing it it's somebody do. an impersonation of a black yeah. it is saying Oh we'll send a shuttle.
yeah hang up it's a redheaded one white. chick doing the ones that goes through a. Popeye's and they're like uh drive. around and honey what no I want to bed. don't ban in this box of chicken look. how about this we put a UH side item. under your pillow let's call it a night. yo you want the Howard Johnson yeah.
Howard Johnson come with a bacon mashed. potatoes yeah come around. what and we don't have them on the menu. but I have a couple of servings right. here in my purse yeah service right here. you couldn't yeah you gonna come around. mother to the next customer what who's. she talking about what you own a bicycle. come on hey does it line up in the. middle yeah don't be embarrassed drive. around here around yeah you want a. gallon to sugar tea yeah don't bring a.
gun don't bring a gun don't think we got. good. we got good yeah I'm about to [ __ ] owe. this six piece for the [ __ ] shotgun. about to shoot up this [ __ ] side you. wanna a keg real [ __ ] of John stick yo. what do you want you want a little. Aussie opinion a little woozy fingers. with hot mustard what is that dip the. end it is not gonna Saran way to [ __ ].
blow your brains out. buddy hey I just want to go to bed yeah. you got to go to bed you've read this. Travel I'll pop on this Howard Johnson. [ __ ] this Howard Johnson Denny's. man but I can put syrup on your pillow. [ __ ] yo Grand Slam [ __ ] it's. definitely different in New Orleans it's. so different. so anyways I'm standing outside and cat. pulls up in a limo Wow.
it just pulls up like the limo cut well. he doesn't pull up the limo pulls up and. he and he pulls up right behind me and. he's like Jo koy what you doing I'm like. man they forgot they forgot. Semyon man just kidding didn't commie. and I get in the car he drives me we get. to the hotel. of course my rooms not ready no cats is. they got two people smoking in your room. cat got the whole cat got cat got the. 13th floor yeah you got nine you got.
nine rooms and I'm just trying to wait. for a twin. yeah and mine's not ready and he takes. me out to breakfast yeah like that's the. kind of stuff he does man and he called. you Gary oh and though yeah come on. Henry Cho do Gary Gary Owen introduced. me he needs to come out of the Oise it. bro and that's white people that are. actually black he needs to come out of. the [ __ ] waz it and you know Gary. Owens in there who else is in there.
Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell yeah. Rosie O'Donnell. yeah she has I you know she has a. Amistad [ __ ] tat on her I've never. seen Rosie O'Donnell yeah she hangs out. at all the black clubs whispers rumours. black clubs always have like a secret. name yeah secret yeah secrets yeah I've. been the secret whispers I've been to. whispers have you ever been to hush-hush. be quiet be quiet. snitches is across no one goes there.
snitches are [ __ ] and they get it I. don't go there anymore. nobody gasps yeah the logos like this. the index finger all the lids and it. turns into a musical note around the. hands yeah they do jazz on Wednesdays. that's a nice place huh yeah Courvoisier. oh yeah. Hennessy special yeah oh I got a diving. board on the side the guys up in the.
middle of the dance floor. bubbles Wednesday suit me and Anthony. Anderson one time we were doing this um. one of my friends is a referee in the. NBA right yeah so every year he does. this wild event in Norfolk Virginia and. it was it's called like City of Hope or. uh uh if it's about like helping like. single parents right okay so one year. I'm there. Anthony Anderson is their larell is. their and and we all go out one night.
right I go out to this club with Anthony. Anderson and it is a urban club this is. in Norfolk okay. and yet Norfolk Virginia okay and and. they is the most like people are dance. and it's a blast and they're people. havin fun I mean people are dancers are. their sweat all over the floor like oh. and there's like probably 500 people. dancing in this capacity sign says 106. oh capacity 100 660 times yes I mean. it's a basketball court. oh it's like Oh what it is or in the day.
it is a damn nightclub at night though. and that's going on and somebody ordered. a bunch of fish grilled fish wait hold. on Theo so this is like a gym are you. being serious yeah I'm being serious man. it's like a uh yeah it's like a. community centers okay but it's a. nightclub okay you know and somebody. order your dancing and there's like some. kind of mascot on the dance floor like a. falcon or something yeah right North. Pole there's two cheerleaders that are. [ __ ] don't know what's going on with.
all the other games over you why are. they black people why are you so many. black people out here two is on the. course too many black me on the court. foul someone's bowing someone only God. and so I'm scared. she says I'm scared and she is she is. yes I'm scared. and here's the crazy part is so somebody. that's the guy from Romeo Must Die she. only knows she only knows by the movies.
easy somebody a menu comes when people. are [ __ ] pop-locking in a menu come. through bro and his Papa like this was. four years ago right the menu bro he was. this big right yeah and there's only two. things on it bro it's written didn't. like a [ __ ] 98 font and what one of. them is fish and one of them is chicken. dude so we order the fish right I'm like. there's no way for $8.50 somebody's.
gonna get some fish out to us here on. this dance floor go broke 19 minutes. later a [ __ ] in this blue trach. makes its way over the crowd and it. comes down to us and it is a bunch of uh. fish dicks and grilled fish and fried. fish man and we [ __ ] catfish fillets. that's what it was a partner sighs oh no. no but they had fillets mana tartar was. baked in there the man told us I said. that's [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] don't. have that kind of skills wait a minute. he baked in in fried fish just that brt.
baby that baked in tartar and so but. we're sitting there to [ __ ] bra. burning calories pop laughs yeah yeah. I'm [ __ ] earning calories on them. from earning calories and burning talent. and fish for less man oh my and then uh. outside of the place somebody's gonna. shoot the carbon they saw this Anthony. Anderson and didn't do it no you saw him. pull the gun about to shoot this sorry.
if you need to get out take a picture. with him and then we like this is a real. story bro this is a real story man. you know those catfish for let's boy and. Anthony remembers and for lets yeah we. ordered a couple orders man and it was. awesome man we had a blast nothing. better than going to a nightclub. basketball court ordering fish bullets. and dance it was awesome. two guys were playing horse and. everybody the whole other place is. [ __ ] good man it was bizarre but it.
was awesome man dude you don't even know. why you're here today so what we do when. we started last week it's March Madness. right okay in football season or not. almost love to just continue with the. conversation because it's so great but. it is March Madness and we're in the. second round last week Mr Bryan Callen. was here and he helped us go through the. first round he's a liar by the way Oh. everything that man says is a complete. [ __ ] lie he tested positive he had L. uh he had li e oh yeah yeah and he's got.
even that I think is a lie he testifies. refer li e man he was but he's born in. both of his parents were liars. oh well that's right so was it his fault. it isn't his fault now yeah he's a. [ __ ] liar for sure I had a serious. conversation and then when we hung up. you just like you know. is true and then he hung up yeah I love. Brian though i lo I love my I you know. he they work right through this wall.
that's where their studio is yeah I love. I love everything about that guy man. when he's 186 oh yeah same ones will be. soon same buddy very severe soon. somebody said he bought a bunch of young. person's a young like a 30 year old. man's hair off the internet like that. old bags in the body. sweaty pretty cool you know what I heard. he got Youngblood yeah like he went to. like Vietnam or something like that and. you get a blood transfusion like dollars. o dollars oh it's and he got my dollar. for blood over there nickel madala. yeah yeah and he got like all the blood.
of like a young teenage girl well yeah. keep it so he has estrogen yeah and his. body we started doing the splits the. other day for no reason I was like. what's going on here am I see she was. been a cheerleader yeah she was a. cheerleader dude vietname cheerleader. give me a give me an L give me an air. give me an ow come on give me an air. give me our air what's a sparrow la.
Yates has deposited 4li email oh he's. [ __ ] great but not full-blown but. he's got it but what we did is now I. believe that quickly America's headed. towards state governments right yes and. I think it's gonna be helpful in a lot. of areas and some people aren't gonna. like it but whatever man that's America. some people like things and some people. don't and bat and it goes back and forth. yes but we had the first round of if.
these states battled each other okay and. and so we're gonna go in and then now. we're in the second round. all right so we need you we you know we. want to educated men who have been. around America yes and who have. experienced America - we're gonna go. through each battle and we're just gonna. get to the next round for us today I. love it. okay yes are you in this I'm in okay. cool and we're gonna use our own why why. each state should pass and we can debate. it and we can argue it and we've got. some fans that are called in and uh Nick. I just want to start I want to pick.
we're gonna start them right away but I. want to pick the first one right now. off the bat okay freestyle this one you. ready yeah West Virginia is going all. the way West Virginia is going all the. way to what I don't know whatever the. lab will wait for championship what a. little West Virginia is just my step dad. is from Westbrook okay well they are. they in a battle let's start there then. West Virginia Pennsylvania to verse. seven seed in the East okay this is that. surprise that's you know every every. every March Madness has a surprise just.
one it always one that makes it yeah it. always goes one-to-one and then eight. like where the [ __ ] did Harvard come. from yeah so I'm gonna go West Virginia. on this okay why though the stepdad from. there what is he dead yes from there any. skills I don't think he needs any like. this guy is just a man okay he's a man. man that's where that's more from that's. one man what's the population between. those two if you can get figured that us. for snick Pennsylvania brother you're.
talking about where a lot of history has. happened here okay you're talking about. Philadelphia I'm talking about coal. miners I'll tell my people that don't. have blood or lungs okay. yeah I'm talking about Philadelphia dog. I don't if you've been to Philadelphia. you've ever been to the mountains of. West Virginia but their mascot is called. a mountaineer [ __ ] [ __ ] really. let's see someone from Philly go up on. those mountains so you're so Philly wet. up the battle uphill what's that. population now Pennsylvania is just. under 13 million and West Virginia is. just under two oh [ __ ] well I mean but.
everyone man is considered to be for men. okay million to 13 ok 8 to 13 now. Pennsylvania you got the Quakers out. there you got the Amish Lakers yeah a. Quaker is gonna find a UH a what Oh a. mountaineer okay we're talking about a. man that goes into a tunnel. i lo how many miles underground to dig. coal saying [ __ ] my lungs and each may I. get to canary okay and that's his job. so if this canary dies run wow if the.
canary dies run run what kind of man. takes that job not a [ __ ] Quaker okay. not a Quaker but you have a curse or. cursing too much you know you're fine. okay Waker can you wake up with the Sun. bro doesn't even need an alarm clock. imagine that imagine going to bed at. night. and just looking out and out of your. window and tell them the moon to remind. his buddy to get you up first thing. these are two of the stupidest reasons. ever no let me tell you what a coal. miner gives you coal. yeah coal coal which does which what it.
tells kid if they're not super - tells. kids they're not have not been good this. year. dude you simons okay see your diamonds. are okay so you're gonna have it you're. gonna have a nice element Pennsylvania. what I'm saying is Quakers can build. what you need you have Philadelphia. they're useless without coal Quakers. don't have coal bro thank you and that's. what the Mountaineer is for and this is. what else I'm trying to get at bro I. don't like oatmeal yeah okay so that'll. like oatmeal and that is the only thing.
that a Quaker has ever provided for. anyone today can you I don't ask you. their staff know the runner oatmeal the. runner you tell me what else at Quaker. has provided for America other than. churches do Quakers or good people do. what oh they don't have phones so they. don't have they're not gonna see that. now bro I'm just sayin. oatmeal or coal right but there's so.
much more bro you got to go deeper so. West Virginia you have the hills you. have the countryside you're gonna be. able to hide you're gonna have those. Minutemen popping off just thirty. seconds at a time do doubling up but. Pennsylvania have to think you have. Pittsburgh bro you got Jerry Olshansky. out there playing offensive line for. your for your warriors you have big Ben. Roethlisberger shooting deep yeah yeah. you have yep it broke Pittsburgh has. three rivers going Virginia had Randy. Moss Jason Williams major Harris that's.
true I'm just saying then those are men. that's three Moss is a man Randy Moss is. a man he's a man man Philadelphia head. through anymore simply uh with a helmet. for like the first time yeah that's true. but his hair was really hard hair was. yeah and they're real corn and those. were real I was real one of the ears of. corn. that's the truth there it is.
look at that yeah that's a real helmet. look at that that's it that's a new soft. badge helmet yeah from chips the whole. way chips or tried it we do a TV Center. hot euro tried to Randy Moss cookie I. want to go West Jingyu but PA man they. have okay how about if it goes down to. this you ready mm-hmm logos logos West. Virginia WV WV does it not look scarier. on that helmet then a than an Eagles.
wing like really a wing no I'm not I'm. not trying to be funny okay you look at. look at the West Virginia uniform and. then look at an Eagles uniform or even a. Steeler Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil. bro what Punxsutawney Phil who who can. determine the weather with a single jolt. of his neck the uh I don't want you out. again don't ever say that he's not a. racial slur I'm just no I'm just saying. don't tell people you know that. information yeah ever again I won't say.
it say man [ __ ] okay can you fight can. thirteen million men from Philly go up a. mountain covered in snow my stepdad. house yeah to dig a hole and this only. reason why he joined the military and. this is a true story because there's. good as [ __ ] you want to hear what he. did yeah he said he was tired of. [ __ ] in the snow hmm he said he ever. hold your [ __ ] with a shovel hmm and hit. the grinder ground so hard that [ __ ].
flies out your ass Wow that's man [ __ ]. yeah so he joined the military because. of that it gets extremely cold also in. Pennsylvania I'm telling you that these. are gonna don't ever say it gets colder. than West Virginia that's two different. things how cold is again in these places. Nick - unbelievable there - 46 yeah but. even if you kill if it 25% of your of. your crew dies off you still are up 6. million people. 6 million bodies going to pill at a.
certain point enough dead bodies are. gonna make a ladder look at that totals. and averages climb up for West Virginia. is average high average low average. temperature 55.7 can you believe that. that sounds miserable. it's not that cold 50 finally clove 55.8. five see right there 47 degrees is the. average low in both of them it's very. similar man you guys also have a power. grid let's go to the bank here what do. you guys think man let's chime in let's. get naked and we'll get Gianni's in here. people from Philadelphia they burn down.
their own city even when they win yeah. and when they win well if they did it. just recently yep. they just right didn't they just do it. recently they probably did they burned. it down they probably turned over turned. over a police Vespa somebody hooked over. a Vespa for no reason beautiful it was. seven gay guys did it apparently yes. they got angry over a Vespa that's awful. but that's I don't they were arrested. even gay guys are rioting - how in. Philadelphia it's change yeah is there.
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else I'm definitely going Pennsylvania I. lived there for a year like around. wilkes-barre area and it was really I. thought that doesn't that means that. we'll live for a year and there's my. there's miners in Pennsylvania as well. as there's a huge coal mine there's also. huge drive-by shooting community in. Philadelphia they're not but uh wow this. is oh I won no you didn't win we're. gonna go to the fans on this one we're.
gonna go there'll be a tiebreaker if you. two disagree the poll be the tiebreaker. and there it is. 53% go West Virginia I told you a 47%. cuz if somebody doesn't know what a. hundred percent is and that's 47 percent. from Pennsylvania West Virginia moving. on wow that's a low spin that was fun. very close that's where that was for you. dad I thought you two are gonna step dad. he's my dad dad well he's my stepdad but. that's my dad well bring the. documentation next time you all right. well I'm joking thank you Dan yeah loves. his name Frederick Harrison Frederick.
Harrison Sarge Roderick Harrison Wow. Harrison he sounds like a colonel he. sounds like he's from Pennsylvania yeah. your son of a [ __ ] don't disrespect my. father like to have I'm sorry my. stepfather I'm sorry mr. Harrison and. thank you for raising such a nice boy. you know what he would call you Bubba. woody he would call you Bob I want to. [ __ ] split a piece of pie with that. guy alright look at this white guy. cobbler we're new another battle here. where we at net new jiaying in the East. New Jersey versus Rhode Island face the.
winner faces West Virginia and we have a. video sent in here from someone homeward. man that was a close one that West. Virginia Philly I'm glad I won New. Jersey would win because we don't give. up. [Music]. wow wow very adamant that young man. adamant uh I'm not a fan of people that.
try and dye their hair blonde and it. just gets yellow that didn't look. natural blonde yeah no so he does give a. [ __ ] is the thing if he's dying his hair. yeah see right there like he what. happened is he. there's two things that happen one he. ran out of money to keep stripping the. color out because it costs a lot of. money to get it down to platinum blonde. right yeah like [ __ ] it man I'm about 50. bucks in I'm good or to his scalp. started burning and he was like [ __ ]. this this hurts. which makes him a [ __ ] and there's no.
way you can win. what does no way you can win what if he. just wanted to keep up with his buddies. and every in the neighborhood dyed their. hair I mean it is [ __ ] New Jersey you. know these are people that still do. wrestling in their backyard I have a. friend he won $10,000 on the prices. right he bought a wrestling ring for his. back oh and then he told everybody in. the neighborhood not joking he told. everybody that everybody got ACDC to. come perform there at a party and and. then they didn't and everybody came for.
the party and I couldn't ban didn't come. he told her where they [ __ ] flake. pretty swab move but he's still got laid. though and he still scored a couple of. vials of tests some kind of TV show this. kid won $10,000 I bought a rest and that. kid was Vince McMahon that's how it.
works these are good people over there. these are Bruce Springsteen and Hacksaw. Jim Duggan fans of their new jersey bro. a lot of self tanner. a lot of young men touching their own. bodies with different colored eyes no. pigments in their head a lot of lined up. hairstyles oh yeah a lot of lined up. very it's very lined up you know I mean. a lot of math out a [ __ ] head. calculator head calculus a lot of gel.
hard hard hard Joe yeah yeah hard oh. definitely yeah a lot of oh my god. there's a lot of milk carrots steroids a. milk still yeah hormones and everything. there's hormones in your buddy there's. home ones in the cattle yeah is this. Jersey as well it's uh no I think he's. going for the other side for Rhode. Island let's hear what this young man. said he's wearing a gold chain it's good. views is Christian from Prague. Rhode Island um I want to talk about the. around versus New Jersey matchup I think. we take this one easily to be honest.
Rhode Island man were small but you know. we still got those connections like we. got the real Italians in this state if. you know what I mean and I think you. know what I mean down the I think at the. Jersey Shore they got the [ __ ] in gym. tan laundry they tend to much they got. that skin cancer unfortunately they got. those stick legs we take them out by the. [ __ ] knees like it's no problem and. an add minutes to invade our state I. know it's small you can invade our state. the roads are too [ __ ] shitty you.
can't even drive on our roads so what. are you gonna do we can send our said. all day where you guys Rob you guys just. keep piling up your cars and we'll just. plow you out. we got the artillery baby wow you were. this was well thought out he makes a. great case for Rhode Island is it a real. island or not Johnny's from there let's. go to Jionni on this piece no it's not a. real island but it is on the coast. [ __ ] straight answer without you [ __ ]. now media well you're a liar there's not.
a real island you grew up on a lie yeah. he's a liar and a head shitty roads so. like that guy just told us so it's not a. real ly ly because it's that's crazy cuz. we sit on the coast yeah and we're not. annoying. yeah we're not Los Angeles Island yeah. we could be we could be so it's whoever. the cartographers are a real [ __ ] oh. yeah bro that's what I'm sayin I'm gonna. go with this guy I like Rhode Island. Jersey's big good you know how big your. Jersey's big jersey big but here's the.
thing about Jersey all right well you. just make a left on New York you see. shitty Jersey off to your right yet I. mean well you just make a left there. but Newark dude you've Hoboken bra a lot. of grilled bread over there I ain't. think of that you know a Jersey you got. Millikin University out there somewhere. dude there's Trenton New Jersey nobody. has ever even been there oh I just like. the word Trent oh you got people doing. Bible study in their basement man you. got a lot of women doing making you know.
makeshift hair salons in the kitchen. during the daytime yeah they have been. keep it that's one thing about Jersey. they have been. the women have been keeping the 90s. bouffant hair alive that is dead. everywhere else in this country dude. yeah but in in Jersey it's it's at least. four inches away from their head you got. yeah oh definitely four inches away from. the head jersey man you got it if your. hair is close to your skull in Jersey. you're a [ __ ] yeah yeah they call you. [ __ ].
yeah hope they say that yeah hah yeah. hah yeah hah yeah and a lot of Muslim a. large Muslim community - over there in. New Jersey limbs a lot of people call. him slim Slim's but a lot of beautiful. Muslim can meet Camden has been ranked. go ahead now Camden has been ranked. among the most dangerous cities in the. United States in 2002 2004 2005 and 2009. Wow. they don't want to bring like the Pats. and what about Providence oh is. Providence dangerous Providence.
Providence no you cannot aim like. Providence there's like there's like a. two three mile radius that's dangerous. in South Providence the commuter violent. or property crime Providence is one in. 26 well you know what man the chance of. becoming a victim of violent or property. crime in Providence is 1 in 26 what is. it in New Jersey I wonder it's one in. four you know what's crazy about that. video that was sent in as you did a.
great job he did a great job he well. thought out to go for the knees to go. for the legs but he still didn't scare. me really you know I mean like the guy. with the the bleached hair he scared me. who bleachy yeah bleachy but yeah. Ponyboy Curt. Ponyboy what do we got there Nick. anything not for the let's see the pole. well the pole is I can be fair because. there's more people in one state than. the other so I don't know we can go to. the pole I mean all of them are like.
that but this one is blatantly but. you're saying everybody voted for. everyone wait wait wait wait like. there's the same amount vote so it's not. necessarily people from those states. voting yeah I think I mean Rulon you're. gonna get to the wall yeah I don't mean. to interrupt you I don't want your. showed I don't want to disrespect you. you know your show but did you really. think the whole state. voted or did you think it was just out. like out of a hundred people cuz I I. thought as many people that voted as. could in the state like as many fans.
that we had that are from New Jersey. voted it's no I don't think there's any. poll yes yeah that's no pull. yeah so I'm not really a good polar but. I'm a pole lock so what do we can New. Jersey Rhode Island I'm gonna go my gut. here tells me Jersey yeah I'm gonna go. Jersey I wasn't at first but I wasn't. either cuz that God did a great argument. yeah that's a good matchup right there. versus access to the water but I can too.
and there's a lot of military bases in. Newport farther yeah we're good we're. good we're good. yeah we're Jersey New Jersey with. Newport is also maybe at the Marines. Newports also a cigarette dude Oh. done yeah you're out who mostly smokes. Newports if you really think about. people from Newport people from Newport. New Jersey well I'm Philadelphia all. right let's rock out this next one this. one is gonna be Nick Massachusetts first.
Maryland whoa we got a video from again. what up do is Austin from Brockton. Massachusetts Boston home of Rocky. Marciano Marvin Hagler - unbelievable. fighters and to start off I mean. Massachusetts fighters I mean listen you. go to Boston you're gonna get some. creatures from Southie just looking at. you just wanting to fight you for no. reason I mean we're aggressive not gonna. lie when you think about it this way -. we colonized America that's some hard.
[ __ ] to do not a lot of people have the. guts for that I mean outside of that I. just passed by a Dunkin Donuts we're. load up on the cards will be ready for. battle and think about a Maryland look. at the name Mariel and a bunch of Mary's. over there they don't have a chance. think getting buzz buzz man Wow some. really good input here man it's amazing. we got a great group of people sending. in videos thank you right there. Massachusetts verse Maryland now Marilyn.
I'm gonna go out and say here you have. Annapolis. yeah but are they gonna fight here's my. question for you jo koy would a military. fight for where they are or fight for. where they're from because those people. are all gonna be from different places. that's true I just like UMass. I've always liked UMass whenever I love. UMass oh yeah Marcus Camby came from. UMass oh yeah got their uniforms Oh a. lot of amazing men a lot of freaking. amazing you know I was just going to.
college teams yeah yeah you're right. right Massachusetts remember. Massachusetts from history books. Massachusetts no one ever knew how to. spell it. yeah confusing half way until dough now. smile I'll try you try ma SS a uch I PPI. yeah dude it's Mississippi's dirty. little sister you're filming so I'm. saying this right there Massachusetts. man they got a lot of history after. working stuff I like the fact that you.
can say UMass yeah that just sounds. aggress my asshole's they call the bass. hole but Maryland man you're talking to. Napa listen I got to go back to the. question would a military fight for. where they're from or fight for the. place they're stationed they would fight. they will fight no matter what it's. their job right yeah they have to or. they go to jail right but are they going. to fight for where they're from or we. have a Maryland guy yeah let's hear him.
alright Maryland went to war. Massachusetts rise over trying to tell. me them [ __ ] city headers and. Baltimore [ __ ] City. I'm city folk are gonna lose an awards. people from Massachusetts brah you've. seen us right we [ __ ] our whole city. up bro we burn that [ __ ] down wrong I'm. gonna lose the [ __ ] Massachusetts. boom whoa Gang Gang let me get a game. okay this guy I totally bald I forgot. about Cal Ripken jr. one other baseball.
player played into his 70s yeah and. still hit homers and that's a man dude. and also the opioid epidemic I don't. know if you noticed or not but they are. are starting five million live in. Baltimore dude. yo bro it is zombie nation dude if you. ever want to fight if you like the. walking dead yes bro you'll love. Baltimore dude there are people just. like this just on the Bernie you know. not in the morning Sanders the weekend. up man we can turn e man they look like. they're just being held up by strings oh.
just like a blind guy just chasing a. rain cloud oh losing their [ __ ] that's. the Baltimore yeah let's go oh it's on. quick but that's it the hill came from. Baltimore he did Dru Hill well that's a. group but they did oh yeah yeah well. look ma'am but Baltimore also dude they. let's go the drink no Cisco the lead. singer of Dru Hill blacked out with the. blonde.
Viennese evil love that song oh don't. don't. yeah Wow it's fun being racist in here. today I must say this man I think I got. to go mass because Baltimore is just too. opioid it out man god bless the military. over there in Annapolis but I think. those bad boys if [ __ ] hits the fan. they're gonna go fight for their. homelands more than they are gonna fight. just because they're all in school. together. but then also they are a tribe and they.
fight together a lot of those times but. they may partner off and then go fight. for their home states that's nothing. that we do I'm gonna go Baltimore okay. Maryland that guy put up a strong point. I totally forgot about the city folk. yeah I am gonna go for the zombies you. know how hard is a knock off a [ __ ]. zombie did you see what Brad Pitt did in. World War Z did you see that took. forever to do it but ya know it's hard I. agree what let's go to unless you wrap. yourselves up in phone books and fight. these [ __ ] zombies you're not gonna.
win well look there's way many extra. phone books so they could do that. probably yeah let's go to the tale of. the tape MIT Massachusetts with 64% to. 36% Massachusetts breaks the tie between. Joe and Theo they move on game s juice. moves on I'm sorry bro alright we got a. real hitter right here we get that. really heater New York versus so this is. between us man I'm gonna.
I'm gonna start with Maine you have a. lot of a lot of people rolling and in. Volkswagens forgetting why they drive. Din to the city even probably because. they're so high yeah a lot of people out. there angry because everybody's doing. home crops a weed and now it's become. more commercialized you got a lot of. Grateful Dead fans you got a lot of just. dead people you got a lot of mystery a. lot of graveyard the ocean I think a lot. of people that die in New York get. buried in Maine oh yeah I could see that. I see that that's a lot of burial ground. like there's a lot of land to bury the.
yeah you got Islesboro island you got a. lot of rich people living out off the. coast who I think we're probably enough. fending for themselves before they would. for their state you know I think the. main the main people you're gonna get. that are gonna rock there gonna be some. [ __ ] you know some badass lesbians. out of Camden right there on the coast. you're gonna have what's that airport. but the airport in Maine bum bar Bangor.
Bangor and you know Bangor what is it. like so it sounds like a [ __ ]. character from like Winnie the Pooh that. never got it never made it yeah you know. you're spangled and a Jaguar yeah that's. a Bangor now that sounds [ __ ] Patman. that's scary I was thinking more like. Eeyore is like mentally troubled brother. Bangor Oh bang where's my tail you know. ask you another question. Oh wish I had some money I could get. some candy calm down Bangor hey what's.
this thing between my legs okay I'm. gonna leave stupid. okay so you got mad now New York they're. way too gentrified in the cities from. Manhattan take a [ __ ] man hike bro. yeah they got way it's way it's bunch of. [ __ ] rich white people don't place. you can even get [ __ ] mugged or two. nuts touches over there in Alphabet City. yeah down there on B and 12th you know. I've never been there.
you haven't nope never been aware being. twelfth Alphabet City New York City have. ever been there go down there it's the. last that a real seed you can get. [ __ ] mugged you can learn Spanish. it's good. oh that's from Joey Diaz direct I. literally stay in two areas and that's. it yeah mid-city man is Soho yeah. that's that's all that's all I do it's. all it is man so in a lot of the rete. you know like the real hitters though. out of New York I'm talking Rochester. brother talking now buddy I'm talking. [ __ ] Rochester Syracuse neck tattoo. country so yeah no I'm saying I want.
income Orangeman oh yeah that the worst. [ __ ] mascot name of all time the. Orangemen yeah I'd be a real man to have. a name like that you got to be real men. and wear orange is still [ __ ] hot. from people yes and that's what they're. doing up there they're doing good I'm. going New York State all the way sorry. main that makes sense. they're juggernaut the one seed all. right let's move to the south first. matchup Florida over South Carolina. that's tough man I've been to South. Carolina man and what happened those are. some real people I that's my first time. I'm not really I'm not gonna make this.
up man okay this is gonna sound like I'm. making this the frosting belt a lot of. frosting of it bro I'm just saying I've. never seen overalls on a white man. before until I played South Carolina and. that is a true story that shirt overalls. and a dad hat Oh from the Boca sparks. boutique brother 105 and he said I love. you and that was funny yeah and I and I. believed everything that came out of his. mouth and that was a real dude right. there it's limited word belt though ya. know here was it won't let me see it. again.
yeah I I loved it and I love you that's. it yeah yeah. we're talking about people that [ __ ] on. the 4th of July man I'm talking about. real Americans over there yeah over here. in South Carroll a cup man I love South. Carroll Acme to break your shirt off. spin around your head and that's North. Carolina but ever who put it wherever. row looks and on Jeep I can get lost for. you driving the table low oh he sat on. the border of North Carolina south ok he.
claimed a bolt take your shirt off a. ball let's here we got it we got a video. that came in here South Carolina. deserves to win it all based on one. thing that is the Anderson jockey lot. this is a big patch of land that exists. in Anderson South Carolina where on. Saturdays people come at like 4:00 or. 5:00 in the morning they set up a table. and they just sell [ __ ] on the free. market you can go there and you can get. diabetics. one VHS out of the box set from Titanic. well unregistered guns a Bop it peaches.
for a second regardless of your race. color creed background beliefs you come. to the jockey lot you stand across the. table you are just a human being. offering not enough for said product and. it's a beautiful thing in South Carolina. and gang baby Wyatt Anderson lot he's. talking about he's talking about peaches. and a boPET that's funny man I like how. he said unregistered gun yeah and then. he went and beaches look you gotta have.
something to shoot with the gun yeah and. that boPET that's exercise right there. so South Carolina it's coming in now I. will say this you have Wofford you have. the Citadel and the Citadel's were a lot. of military trains and it's young men so. they may be - under the influence -. really - whatever it's called go AWOL. and go back to their hometowns they may. be still a little bit brainwashed you. know god bless them but you know I've. seen a march through the streets of. Charleston South Carolina and they stay. in line those young boys yeah and so. you're gonna get that in South Carolina. you got Clemson you got what's-his-name.
the quarterback over there a Dabo. Swinney run it so he's gonna be coaching. your troops man is the coach man but now. Florida take me in to Florida brother ah. the Gators man Gator country right don't. they don't they don't they get every. there like a farm were you from Florida. no you from there Northwest yeah I'm. from the Northwest but you could look. like you are from Florida well that's. not a but you'll fit in easier buddy all. right so let's go to this big whitey.
that sent this in yo what up Theo I'm RJ. I'm from Florida and I wanted to talk to. you about Florida versus South Carolina. bro there's no chance in hell a [ __ ]. South Carolina is gonna win Florida well. we're both equally as racist but Florida. has one secret weapon bro bath salts. that's all we need to win. get those bath salts ambiance out. Carolyn's ass it's all over bro 100%. gang gang thank you RJ and I love how. now that's Florida right there it's a.
little secret if he didn't even give us. full name bro RJ okay he didn't even. spot us a [ __ ] vowel. Robert Johnson what is it yeah it could. be [ __ ] Randall Jones ruff Randall. Jones man ah could be racist Johnson I. be in a rut I can't trust a guy that has. a full beard and still has a baby stache. yeah that's a little scary right there. uh he has a Kardashian voice mm-hmm. that's not I don't trust that I'm just. saying I'm just saying those two things. right there alone I'm not scared South.
Carolina I'm a little scared are you. yeah man those are real dudes that that. little belt right there some real men. there man yeah they practice well you. got a lot of people from Jersey you got. a lot of people in New York that retired. yeah they're [ __ ] they got cancer all. over the bike it's just like they're. ready to die yeah that's true now. Florida you gonna have a lot of people. that suddenly when it gets it when it's. when the [ __ ] Americans [ __ ] hit the. fan yeah they're gonna leave they head. back home look everybody suddenly yeah.
they're gonna go first yeah well you. know what Cuba comes over like this. [ __ ] makeshift boat made out of like. a old car no you're gonna have boats. going the other way when [ __ ] hits the. fan. oh you mean we're gonna leave people are. going to yeah like if somebody's here. and they're like yeah like if they're. just here like you know kind of. profiting in the country yeah they're. gonna be out that you know do you think. some refugee that a refugee for another. country is going to fight for this. country now they may but do you think. that they would or not maybe they would. maybe I would wouldn't I think Nick I. think Florida's got a lot of old people.
so I mean they're just they may have. more population but they're all about to. die any what's target practice yeah yeah. you can have a lot of yeah you also have. a lot of Jewish on they don't fight you. don't see a you and well they work it. out though but they work it out but you. still all the time the courts are gonna. be packed you know they're gonna be all. done at the courthouse yeah yeah so on a. legal battle Baddeley a lot of. infighting a lot of yes a lot of zoning. and servitude issues being filed yeah so. but then also man Florida dude you got.
the first 48 bro in the first 48 hundred. episodes of that show we're filmed that. in Florida bro your work you don't get. murdered in Miami you're nobody yeah you. nobody that's true so you got Miami then. all their football teams were just thugs. yeah they all about his prison time. FAU University of Florida that some guys. tim tebow they had the Lord down there. for a while and stuff man this is a. tough one bro Wow yeah landslide damn I.
think people are really Florida is known. for being crazy they're the wild card. that's true. 67 percent says Lotus crazy they selling. pirates and Tampa like you're messing. with a lot of different cultures row so. that's the thing you didn't be fighting. so many groups there that could be it. might not be as unified them and you get. up to Tallahassee and that's just. Georgia [ __ ] Yeah right itself yeah. [ __ ] though bro Jacksonville yo it's. a robe Duval County yeah they're crazy.
yeah you're right no I'll still go with. Florida yeah I'll go Florida Dade County. to where Kimbo Slice is training people. in this backyard yeah Jorge mas a lot of. people died in those videos that's one. thing you don't know about that yeah. yeah not surprised Florida man come here. die here YouTube page the strongest. survived yeah other praised lower. brother today's episode is also brought. to you by skill share skill share it's. an online learning community for. creators are you a creator are you.
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von again go to. he'll share calm / Theo von to start. your two months now. that's Skillshare dot-com / t heo vo n. get them skills Georgia versus Alabama. have you ever been Alabama yes. you got Nick Saban right they're one of. the greatest leaders of our time I mean. he is basically he's the [ __ ] he's a.
George Washington of the south really. yeah what does that the Crimson Tide. yeah I know what that is now Alabama. also you have this red clay you got a. lot of red clay up there you have a lot. of tornadoes yeah Georgie you got. Atlanta you got a hot Lana yeah you got. hot and it is hot it is hot you got off. set up at the front running your troops. yeah you know and he seemed like a real. [ __ ] I saw him and that uh I saw him. playing the celebrity basketball game. how do you do uh and I thought it was. somebody from the WNBA ooh.
you know like the six-man yeah oh not. even starting yeah Latrell Sprewell. little cousin Oh horrible. yeah oh we got some input right here. from one of our listeners onward you. know Theo von. what's up out here at work I think if. any stay where win the war it would be. Georgia because they have a bunch of. crazy rednecks with guns. and a bunch of crazy black people. against everything against black people. but they get crazy and that guy was.
black and white so I wanna I want to let. everybody know that all who just listen. to an audio that was a mixed gentleman. they used to call him that and now they. still call him man yeah there's two man. mix you know young man and he was. working an electric wire so obviously. that guy's been up in a on a boom lift. he's seen what's going on he can see the. landscape see the landscape he knows. what he's working with he's also doing. that on company time yeah and you gotta.
respect that and I respect that so he's. listed to feel very Georgia and yeah and. just not giving a [ __ ] about his job. that's both very Georgia and Alabama. dude do another stuff on company time. wow this is a tough one yeah this is. tough I I love Birmingham but that's all. you got. I remember when I played Tuscaloosa yeah. I did a joke on one of my specials about. Alabama because I did a this one I was. doing the college tour and this one the. student picks you up from the you know I. mean when they pick you up from the. airport and drive you to the to the.
college and the first question he asked. because it was I did BET's comicview and. he goes he goes so man how is it on that. TV show. he thought I was on that show always. always yeah and then that's when I was I. unbelievable [ __ ] man this really lives. out here yeah people have different. ideas there are a lot of people they. don't watch as much television they're. not on the internet as much like it's a. little different it's a different. environment man you get down into the. like into the middle of America and into.
the south it's like so what you think. you live in the TV set yeah. oh the other day I was talking to my. folks back home and they're like yeah. willing grace uh. you know have you seen what they're up. to like very bizarre Wow and you didn't. really yeah you know it's two different. worlds you know but look man beautiful. states some of the top football players. in the nation. I'm gonna go gorge on this because you. do have Atlanta you have the hill. country to Co up there in North Georgia.
a lot of Indians out there yeah you got. a lot of Indians out a lot of Indians. man and they're still there going. yeah they're still living there I think. they'll fight - oh yeah though fight. right such interesting states because. but Georgia has Atlanta and Atlanta's. Georgia Tech you have Emory University. you're gonna come up with some more. educated you know technical engineers. I'm in Iraq with Georgia guy Ted Turner. - he's insane and Young Jeezy Oh Georgia.
Chipper Jones yeah how how can you not. be scared of a guy named chipper yeah. he's [ __ ] Sheppard oh yeah bro he. played into his 50s he would eat his bad. it is bad if you got a home run he used. to fight it in half I saw him do it live. yep let's go to the people what they say. on this one Nicholas. they said Alabama 54% Wow that's enough. margin for error. George Georgia gets it yeah it's no.
margin for error and yeah people get a. dog man the B dog huh yeah and we might. only make it through half today huh can. you tell me what a Crimson Tide is. please is it an elephant. it's a menstrual cycle on her and that. [ __ ] beats everybody uh-oh okay. that's a stupid miss guy yeah Georgia. Bulldogs what I got oh I thought I was a. baby for a second. next up Nicholas we got number four.
oklahoma verse number five Virginia Wow. Virginia's got a lot of very amazing. producers came out of Virginia mm-hmm. I'm a song like go vegetables and fruits. you mean no no like singers man like. like like Pharrell Chad Hugo Teddy Riley. Timbaland like a lot of those producing. Aaron Brooks do one of the water backs. ever for the New Orleans Saints well I. met at a buffet one time and he didn't.
know like kind of how a buffet worked. which was that howling dude I've never. met anybody who didn't know something. like that but he was the happy I start. in the middle and then work my way. either left or a called a 20-second. timeout at all a timeout. yeah but he was the nicest man I've ever. met man but uh this is a tall. one man do we have any videos here net. we do what's cracking man is Big Brother. over here in Oklahoma beginning me and. I'm out chair and I just want to say I'm.
weighing in on a Virginia versus. Oklahoma and I just want to say we're. beat they [ __ ] ass any day you know. how to mean I might not think ain't no. brothers down here in Oklahoma but we. down here and we're deep and we're thick. you know I mean look at these cheeks. bite somebody from love a gene and this. and that's all my mama right now so I'm. just saying it right now yeah okay gang.
boys big be out there get on the front. lines boy Bo weapons brothers brush your. teeth and [ __ ] get out there my god. he said daddy my guy said look at these. cheeks. yeah and right there right there you. should be scared so on that picked a. body part that no one uses yeah in any. fighting situation and he did yeah. forget it. oh is that a big squirrel over here not. a co ass boy. but to get snack pattern and that's.
Oklahoma now we'll say this about. Oklahoma man these are people out there. these are white people a lot of them. that defeated Native Americans yes you. have a lot of Native Americans that are. you know have anger so they would love. to go attack someone else I'm gonna get. a little bit of a revenge. the last hairstyle that was famous aside. from yours was Brian Bosworth and that. came out of Oklahoma yeah he had that. the Brian Bosworth and Ryan Bosworth. right there Lyle Alzado is little buddy. Oh Lyle Alzado is little buddy that's.
right yup and uh Oklahoma Abby what is a. [ __ ] sooner it's better than later. brother gonna get it done right now get. in there sooner not later. well the feel Vaughn is what he called. it back then then called that the Theo. no knew what the [ __ ] start work cuz. The Cosby Show is hot back there that. Brian Bob yeah that's that Brian. Bosworth there blew his shoulder out his. first season when he got ran over. blob Oh Jackson but that's okay and then. we call Seattle 150-million and then he. blew it right back in look right bat was.
[ __ ] buying Bosworth. now Virginia dude now Virginia oh we got. something Oh what's up the Oh what's up. Joe this is Zack from Virginia Virginia. versus Oklahoma Virginia vs. anybody is. no contest not only do we got CIA. headquarters all the government stuff. I mean DC's basically Virginia it's. definitely not Maryland we got tunnels. from the White House to places in. Virginia all the way down.
we got the Pentagon we basically got the. smartest people in the country here we. also got all the southern people guns so. many [ __ ] Walmart so down here so. many pregnant ladies would dip in their. mouths I mean they're ready to strike. the thing people forget about or how. many gangbangers we got out here we got. the fourth largest ms-13 population in. all of America's Virginia not DC just. Virginia and we got the third largest.
military presence in any state is. Virginia check that facts on just Google. - [ __ ] bro you went out for like two and. a half minutes wow man yeah that that. that video right there it looked like he. was calling from somewhere scary that's. not a wall that you have in your house. no he's kidnapped yeah he's definitely. kidnapped there's definitely a gun being. pointed at him right now. yeah probably by somebody in Virginia. snowing in Virginia so you know they're.
ready yeah say this to [ __ ]. keep reading [ __ ] all the way down. we got two minutes work - [ __ ]. [ __ ]. keep reading write it I called a white. boy white boy yeah read this read this -. keep googling. you got a love this young stand bribe. you know what I'm saying about a guy I. like I like his argument I didn't know. they had tunnels do my buddy Lance. Hecker's a Navy SEAL based out of there. I forgot about that Newport News is over.
there you got Norfolk you have some of. the wildest high school and Division two. and three college football in America in. Virginia a lot of amazing athletes come. out of Virginia you do have a huge. military presence you have every single. for us there you got the Coast Guard. which no one gives a [ __ ] about yeah. there too you even have ROTC do which is. just kids at after high school grade. five don't they fight oh yeah I was in. the ROTC where you got really huge. [ __ ] fight with who did goddamn [ __ ].
yeah right in front of a Safeway Oh beat. the [ __ ] out of these dudes they walked. by is that their [ __ ] anger just. around their necks. bro we took our caps off with in went. [ __ ] it in we have patent leather shoes. on man course you dress up once either. pom pom yourself and wax. they're already patent leather man we. didn't beat the [ __ ] out of these kids. okay that's a high gang. high-tech [ __ ] whatever hiking boots. high-tech low-tech and also Virginia. when you least expected an order from. [ __ ] fish fillets or roll right in a.
[ __ ] feed the troops I'm gonna rock. with Virginia on this what I'm gonna go. with Virginia too sir beautiful sweet. one more match up in the south what do. we have the people celebrated Nick sorry. 51% to 49% for Jin right on the fence. there it's crazy. Wow that's how you know we're at the. cream of the crop when the votes are. that close what's going in with a girl.
on her period an older woman that's at. least called Bush cool what else we got. here man that's what they call it they. use called a push bush-gore get that. Bush go okay you know yeah do the worst. when you get that Mitt Romney dog what's. that oh that I don't know that's me. shoot you in the head sounds better. still your friend yeah it sounds. questionable Nicholas last matchup in. the south we got number one Texas first. Theos home state of Louisiana how do you.
say it correctly though Louisiana so. that's the way you say Louisiana. Louisiana now some people say Louisiana. that's what I thought Louisiana yeah. some people say New Orleans some say no. yeah how do you say I say New Orleans. New Orleans I'm in the middle I say. Louisiana. it's a Louisiana yeah I got owed our. cars to our gang gang baby right there. beautiful Viet let's go it's Alex from. Houston Texas and I gotta say man I'm. probably not the first one to say it. probably was just only a matter of time.
but I think that in the event of an. uprising Texas would most likely win. because we probably have the most people. per capita armed and prepared for. conflict and defense a man boy that's. all you needed and I believe that was an. illegal video are you sure he was. arrested soon after look thank you Alex. for sending in that video man Wow and. that guy is all about it bro Latino or. Viet man right that was a Viet man for.
sure was up there was something there I. don't know what for sure he's not Latino. that for 100% he's only 14 his body's 36. for sure he is Jack brother this guy. yoked there's a lot of kimchi a lot of. rice yeah I think we also take another. poll and figure out which type of Asian. he is I'm gonna say Korean if we could. have him nick is there anything we can. reach out to or DMM or something and I. would go Korean I'm gonna say Korea I.
would say hearty Korean though I already. say Nick Korea his mom has thick song. and maybe Tong and no rien nope Tong it. he's not no he's not down there at all. but I believe he's definitely in Asia. for sure yeah he's a shipping baby dude. somebody met on yeah that is a that is a. big boy that's what they call a big boy. that's what they call a big boy big boy. big boy there big boy boy yeah big boy. big boy big boy bob's big boy. bob's big okay I'm gonna say this my. actually my step-brother sent me in a.
couple of things from Texas I'm gonna. say two before I get into my state of. Louisiana I'm gonna read these right. here he said some things for Texas he. said as it relates to the March Madness. state wars every man woman and child in. Texas are heavily armed he went on to. say with a ridiculous amount of ammo we. have strategic ports they have Corpus. Christi dune it's a lot of people. smoking weed down there let's be honest. about that time all right Mexico would.
back the great Republic so we have. endless troops our proposal to them to. get them to fight serve and you have. residency done deal done they're in they. are in no problem. we're already there yeah [ __ ] we will. let y'all got bullets okay we have the. oil all wars are won in laws based on. fossil fuels to treat strategic reserves. and having the diesel and jet fuel to. power their fleet we produce over four. million barrels a day.
we've got Willie Nelson and then I'm. gonna say limited time only I'm gonna. say a limited time only oh yeah Willie's. get know yeah you know they have. breakfast tacos. they have expansive terrain that most. soft-shoe liberals would never dare step. foot on they have 18 military. installations can I add yeah they also. invented tex-mex mmm and that's the best. kind of Mexican food tex-mex and that's. worldwide now yeah tex-mex. that's true and very welcoming too huh. it is hey your food our food gang yeah.
livestock and textiles we have zero. issues feeding clothing and turning the. industrial powerhouse into into. overdrive wealth we have sovereign money. they also have unlimited land I mean. they are huge. yeah who's bigger than Texas in land. who's bigger in heart I'll tell you. right now Louisiana baby okay Louisiana. you're talking about can't fight a war. with heart bro okay I've seen that many. times but dude yeah but some of the. gumbo that they have over there bro they. they actually does another word for it. gumbo oh and sometimes people will have.
a bowl up at a big bowling in their. local little [ __ ] 38 pull that [ __ ]. Master P do that one of his movies oh. yeah the gumbo special he pulled out he. it looked like gumbo yeah then he pulled. out a [ __ ] a are ya just destroyed the. place a lot of missing spouses in. Louisiana a lot of people go a lot of. dead bodies fine along the interstate so. people are ready to murder you get into. Baton Rouge huge murder per capita New. Orleans been killing forever ever also a. lot of masks if you're gonna fight. people you want to find it without.
identities new orleans a.k.a mass yeah. every other is a reason to wear a mask. nick what do you have just the lineup of. rappers alone from louisiana mystical in. jail just juvenile released Lil Wayne. wanted and mr. boozy badass o boosie. badazz. boy he's bad. you can't stop boost it's too cool he. just got out of here with back went back. in and there's on like a pretty horrific. crime that got him in there in the first. place yeah yeah he's caught up in the.
Dark Arts brother yeah man Boosie bang. bang banner and I and Bootsie got nine. kids man yeah miss hatch that's his. mother and she teaches a school over. there but world or my brother lives you. know your brother over in Texas highest. what is it called death row executions. yeah when Bush was in office so they're. not afraid to kill and they don't give a. [ __ ] if you're innocent or guilty light. him up son light him up I don't move. okay see ya. ya have a bad day yeah yet a long day.
dude whatever bro go to heaven you know. what I'm saying tell God about it I. don't want to hear this story. Jesus Christ yeah a bad day man I was a. tough one. are you gonna go with your heart because. you're from there your heart and soul. man or are you gonna go with what Google. has to offer which is the higher stats. and that's Texas I love Texas I think it. is a while we go with football teams. okay I am got the Longhorns the.
Longhorns you got LSU LSU that's our. main one. well they got Shaq Shaq came out of. there Shaq out of Texas you have. LaMarcus Aldridge came out of there you. got a major Applewhite he didn't do. anything LSD a big baby big baby Davis. who actually lives right across the. street over Dolph Jefferson I tried to. get him in here man I don't know man. Texas god this is tough brewing bruh you. know what brother on this one man you. just ate with Texas on it I just love.
Texas I'm gonna have to go with. Louisiana because I see why I hate. Louisiana yeah no he's fine to tell you. no you're not uh I knew it you would be. if you were you'd be um who's Bert. Kreischer friend the comedian Tom Segura. if you hated Louisiana be Tom Segura. really yeah let me tell you what. happened to me when I did be memorized. it'd be oh yeah I remember you left at. the end I was in my room and I bought a. clipper set to I was gonna shave my head. okay and you know those clipper sets are. like airtight you can't open those you.
can't even have have scissors it's hard. open I don't have anything but they had. a corkscrew in the [ __ ] bucket this. is in New Orleans. I took horse crew ripped it stabbed. myself little tiny hole that's awesome. guess what happened what whole [ __ ]. arm turned brown. gang had to get it drained my elbows. swelled up to the like a [ __ ] bowling. ball. Gangrel on the base on a base in Korea. on Korea cuz it was like a week later I. was in Korea yeah and they had to drain. all this fluid out it was from New.
Orleans that's a dirty [ __ ] City miss. that swamp on baby you don't know say I. got swamp arm dude a dog Mikey you turn. into a cat brush that kind of City I was. meowing and I was eating warm milk yeah. it wasn't my mother some milk some were. left out by their [ __ ] oh that's extra. milk yeah it sound like a lucky guy yeah. what I'm saying is this man it would be. wrong for me not to go from the state. where I [ __ ] started root I will have. to go with Louisiana I'm going with. Texas what do what do the people say. come on Texas have a bad day tell Jesus.
about el Jesus about a Texas also if. we're going by the sheer volume of. submissions from people from Texas it. was like two to one Texas first. everything else they were very proud and. excited to fight it you know what just. do this think of it this way because I. know you're sad and I know your heart is. bleeding right now cuz that his soul is. but think about it this way like what. how many listeners and fans you have in. Texas you know I mean they just came out. they came out and they let you know 80%.
bro no welcome your hometown give two. shits about your show yeah two shits. about your show it is pretty sad. that's sad my mom said she voted a. couple times yeah and she only have a. phone so I don't think she did probably. called a nurse yeah I don't think the. voting says anything about the people. from Louisiana cuz they won like 92 10. in the first round it's just the. strength of Texas yeah Texas a strong. man stroma Texas strong I don't it is it. is now well that's uh that's two.
brackets man I think we'll stop there. and we may have next week we'll have. somebody do do what if we get Glen big. baby Davis to come in and do one of the. rounds with us that would be that would. be awesome I love that he might be sad. that Louisiana's out I will say we have. dr. Perlmutter next week and. maybe with Nate bargatze oh yeah maybe. with Nate bargatze I could do some air. right there that'd be fun to do that. yeah because we got Perlmutter next week. huh mm-hmm but then how we gonna do to. skip on this uh the basketball March. Madness doesn't end in March either I.
think we can bleed this into April okay. cool man wow that was fun was it fun I. had fun man it was awesome you're a. brilliant man we had a blast dude Nikki. did a great job man thanks you really. did a great job putting this together. this is this is a blast this is cool. just seeing people interact with it too. I think that's brilliant yeah so cool. they're really into this Nick did a lot. of work man he did a really good job. yeah maybe we'll package up all the. submissions and we'll put him on our. Clips channel cuz I mean so many people. submitted it was they love this I'm.
actually it actually scares me we might. be headed for work I don't know yeah. people are excited man people want their. States I feel like there's too much of. this national stuff where people are. talking for everyone yeah and enough. voice voices from a lot of places aren't. getting heard yeah and other voices are. getting heard because those voices own. like a lot of the electronic equipment. and a lot of the airwaves time to speak. up yeah a little city I think people are. man you know so it's interesting how did. Washington State do they won or they got.
a bye in the first round because of. population and they got Utah next so. they got to face them follow the Mormons. and the Tongans yep and next round our. matchups we have Ohio and Iowa Michigan. verse Kentucky Indiana Minnesota. Illinois verse South Dakota Nick and in. the West we have Arizona versus New. Mexico Washington versus Utah Colorado. versus the 13 seed Montana I think that. might be our Cinderella team the louis. sita still still left and then. california versa Laska that's a fun.
matchup. who's your dark horse over there. Channing I think's gonna win the whole. thing I'm gonna yeah I'm not in the. whole entire just your Dark Horse who's. like who's your underdog right now. that's still out there that's got a shot. my underdog I think I'm definitely gonna. go with Alaska Wow yeah yeah I was gonna. say the same thing that's crazy you. think the same way man if you live in. Alaska you're [ __ ] crazy yeah you're. crazy it's cold as [ __ ] you only get an. hour's worth of sunlight. kidding me they wanna fight just they.
don't want to fight for two reasons one. to warm my in and two to [ __ ] die. yeah a rather just die. let me just die [ __ ] it I was gonna die. anyways money will go out when your. mother got with a warm wallet in my. chest. yeah it's always dark anyways might as. well shut my eyes forever they're. fighting for light bro and that's a. whole different the whole eternal light. yeah get the [ __ ] out of here. jo koy man thank you so much for being. here with us today and being a part of. this do this is cool bro yeah I'm a huge. fan here's man you're one of the. hardest-working guys and you've always.
been you know just I mean uh just a. light man you always are so positive and. it's infectious bro thank you happy to. know you man you're killing the game man. well you're making people reach and I. love that we're doing what we can is all. about man you see levels and you want to. reach those levels and you're making. people reach that level so thank you so. no no I'm getting inspired by you right. now gang gang man I'll see you on the. scene the war let's go and we do an. intro and we'll put in all your plugs. and stuff what you got coming up that's. awesome yeah love you man.
[Music]. but when I reach that round I'll share. this peace of mind I found I can defeat. it in my bones. thought it's gonna take. little time for me to sell that parking.
brake and let myself on my. [Music]. [Music].
you.
