Spill The Duntlin | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #322

good to be here man uh. hey hey. i got that massage baby i got a. tightness in my neck. i mean like just the damn devil hit a. damn just a jolly rancher in my neck man. it just. it feels real tight i mean tight tight. you know oh man. and i went over to the place you know.

and. i'm not going to say that they're. chinese when you go in the place but. they are. they are vietnamese or. they're and ease let's say that they you. know there's no. there's no bones about it they are some. type of ease. you know they're having they probably. had soup for lunch i'm gonna say that. some type of broth you know and uh. and the ladies sometimes i've gone to.

this place a few times. you know i'm out here in the central. east studios and. i've gone to this place you know a few. times and. sometime i get the you know the rough. girl is in there. you know the real that you know she's. that uh. you know she's kind of a hit man. you know i'm saying she's somebody if. somebody in the family's choking you. won't. you know you hope she's there because.

she can help. you know she's that thick aunt you don't. want that slender aunt helping you if. you choking. you don't want your fine art there. you're fine aunt she ain't gonna do. she's gonna scream she'll probably. snapchat it you don't you want. you want that thick baby you know that. big lozenge of a woman. and that's what they had there these big. chinese lodgings of a. lozenge of of a lady you know it's just.

damn i mean she really. her forearms had six arms in them you. know she's just real poignant. real real poignant man i mean she could. spit hard and probably wash a window. so that's where i'm coming at with that. and uh. and so anyway they you know they got me. on the. you know i don't like this a lot of the. massage places uh.

you know they put you on this kind of. halfway. lean forward type of thing where. they can you know you they put your head. in this little. it almost remember in the old days you. know back in the. you know 1300s or whatever i don't know. 1800 something dude. some teen hundreds and they had um. back in the old days they had sorry. might be a little hot there. they had the the thing the um.

the barracks you know they put you in. they put your two hands in and they put. your head in it. and people would come by if you did. something bad around town. they put you in a town square and they. you know they put you in there and. people come by and. call your names call you you know. probably gay or something like that. you know devil boy [ __ ] like that you. know this i'm talking. 13 1800s and. so you know when the kids come by and.

probably tickle you. you know the pervs come by and touch. their nuts everybody. when you're in the barracks or in the. what is that called. barracks um. i think that's what it's called man. barracks. uh let me think when you're in the you. know what i'm talking about the cat the. barracks man. the barracks in town what is that thing.

[ __ ] i don't know but it's the thing. they like it holds your head it holds. your arms you can't move. and people laugh at you and point. fingers you know. people say oh that's a little you know. you know that's a little uh ricky and he. did something bad you know. he stole a cabbage you know he stole. four cabbage. that's ricky with you know that's four. cabbage ricky and you then you're that. bad guy you know and. but anyway when you're in the barracks. everybody comes by and gets they.

the people that want to name call they. name call you and the people that want. to tickle you and then. and the perverts that want to you know. touch you nuts or get a look at your. booty or whatever you know. everybody you know everybody gets it out. of their system when you've done. something bad and. um what was i talking about. oh so i know what i was talking about so. anyway i'm in there and they got me in. it's like that kind of thing you're kind. of leaning forward and the ladies behind.

you and. i don't know if they found a tough spot. on my back but. they had uh the the lady is like pushing. on my back. and then she had like her cousin or. somebody her brother. daddy somebody you know another. [Music]. you know another miese or ease person. starts pushing on her so they're both. so she's pushing on my neck kind of back. and he's pushing on. behind her like leaning on her.

and i'm just like you know like they're. trying to get just a a. a a friger frigidaire through a tight. doorway. and that [ __ ] i'll just i don't know. i never seen anything like that and. so anyway uh oh and then so then after. that i did 30 and 30. you know they call that's a um 60 minute. package that's package b.

that they have there on the chart and. and so the second half they get you in. uh the private room you know and they. have some um. fake roses in there and a little. they got these coca-cola candies they. are so good they're. these little hard kind of candy you suck. on them but. so i put two or three in my mouth when i. go in because i do the one hour service. so anyway. and the lady and sometimes.

i think it's just tradition in a lot of. the east. you know you go to some places and they. bust you out. you know they cream you out right there. bro and so. the ladies you know she's doing my body. and everything and i'll get. i won't get fully new but i'll get down. to my underpants easily. dude i'll get down in underpants if. somebody says hey you want me to scratch. your back. i'll be [ __ ] you know i'll be 94. naked baby you know what i'm saying i. for any.

if a good television program is on off. you know and it's a half hour program. i've been like that since i was a child. i would get so fired up man and just. when the. pressure builds and the plot thickens. i'm damn just start losing. you know i lose pieces of clothing till. i'm just damn naked just. i mean and i'm just clamping on my wing. just. just watching the what's going on you. know i'm just. i'm locked in i looked at it i say no. i'm locked in baby and uh.

and anyway so she uh the ladies um. she goes uh uh you wanna spill a dumplin. and i'm like what does she say and i she. goes you wanna spell it duncan. spell it duncan and i'm thinking speller. dunlan. uh i didn't know what it was you know. i'm thinking is it something. and then i'm thinking oh it's nothing.

you know because i didn't know what it. was and she's you know then she kind of. pats me on the on that peony you know. what i'm saying that peanut bruh. that penis and then she tapped me double. tap me on that penis you know. and uh and she said spell it dumping. and then i'm like oh spill the dumplings. she wants to spill the dumplings bruh. and.

and you guys know me look i don't like i. don't like somebody. you know i've been hell i've been. spelling i've been. battling my dunlins all week bro i spent. my dumplings spelt. i spilt them matches you know and i. shouldn't have been. and i did man i gave in and i've been. jerking myself so i. you know i don't know man i don't talk. about but uh. anyway i just i said no you know i was. cordial i was a gentleman. you know i kind of went like this you.

know no. and um and she wasn't offended. and that's one thing i love about a lot. of asian cultures they don't get. offended if. you if you if you don't if you don't if. you don't want them to jerk you off. you know and a lot of other people get. all you know white people be like oh. come on you know come on you know. oh okay i guess well all right you know. black people be like oh okay oh you all. right. you ain't gonna let us bust them nut you.

know what i'm saying everybody in. german people were like oh you. but asian people they don't get offended. man that you know. it's just part of life it's like it's. like a handshake. forget it you know and uh. anyway i don't know that's just you know.

there's trying to spell it nothing bro. you know and i didn't i didn't want that. dauntless spill man. i didn't want my dumplings spilt man so. that's kind of i guess what's been going. i mean i don't that's what's been going. on. but uh but that's what happened another. time i remember i was at a joint out. there in los angeles. and a lady tapped me they double tap. that's the thing it's like knock knock. on your uh right on you on your uh. penis you know on the top and uh.

and i said she goes oh you won oh monkey. go pop pop. and i was like monkey go pop up. uh and i said no no i'm okay you know. and then i reconsidered and i was like. well. uh and then the lady's looking like i'm. just like this indecisive. person which i am so. anyway man you know it's just you can't.

go anywhere these days without somebody. really trying to cream you out you know. but um but thank you for being here with. me today man it is uh. thursday february 11th in uh. in the year 2021. and i'm doing my best man and i hope. that you are let's get into a little bit. of tunes. sing down the sun oh that's a good song. baby.

shine down your song. come on baby so that it might. guide me back home this is josh kelly. we all need some light. amen on the darkest of days. [Music].

it's a holy holy holy lord holding my. heart. down on my knees asking you to hold me. hold me hold me with your. [Music].

[Applause]. i lost all my joy. [Music]. [Music].

[Music]. [Music]. let's go. holy holy holy lord holding my heart. down on my knees asking you to hold me.

[Music]. oh man dude that one had me gleaking. right out my feeling ducks brother. that's when god hit me right in the damn. hvac of my. of my soul brother and my tear ducts man.

beautiful song right there. off his new album my baby and the band. that is called hold me my lord by. josh kelly featuring all voices. um if you're not familiar with josh. kelly man go. go go get that album and get familiar. with him and uh. i'm sure a lot of you guys are but go. get familiar with that song. um he's a friend of mine and and. uh and he actually gave me a job i i.

worked as a tour manager for him. when he first uh when he first started. touring. with his music and um just honored to be. able to play one of his songs here today. oh what's going on man. what is going on um. yeah i went to the place i did that oh. i'll talk about this the super bowl. happened. you know i was uh it was a boring game. you know it was a boring game and um.

[Music]. and i think a lot of people were just. shocked kansas city didn't put anything. together. uh and i don't know what you attribute. that to attribute that to. but it was it was it was nice to see tom. brady it was nice to see somebody. you know get away from the system that. new england system and do something. you know it's nice to see an older. person get out there and be a rascal and. be. randy and do confidence.

and man that made me feel really good uh. um i went over to michael chandler's. house ufc michael chandler fighter man. you know hit. he came on here and uh. and you know i snuck that dustin poirier. freaking sauce into the party son. loyalty is going to loyalty and um. and i felt honored to go over there and. just be it it was fun man to talk about. fighting a little bit.

and to be able to watch uh watch the. super bowl. um what else happened. i did a comedy set last night and it was. one of the best shows that i've had in. about a year. so i'm drinking a little bit of tea. right now um. my throat has been a little bit rocky uh. but yeah what else what else what else. have i been doing. my i hurt my neck so i've been trying to. take care of that and that's why i was. getting the um.

the massage over there that's why i was. getting massaged. so um. what else oh i heard a badger. out back at a rental i'm in an airbnb. right now. you know doing um rental living they. call it. and that's rental living where you're. somewhere but. you really don't want to be there and. that's rental living. and so i've been doing that and uh and.

last night i heard a. around like i was like i heard an animal. so i look out there and it seemed like a. cat but the way he walked was more. almost like a like he was. like his paws was kind of hot. and i said well surely somebody didn't. heat a cat up and just let it loose out. outside. you know or put fire by a cat and then.

you know make it run. um so i said it must be a different. animal then i heard it make a noise. i heard it do some uh howling or. whatever. and that's when i knew oh okay. something's going on here um. and so i i was i was started looking up. different animals. sounds on the youtubes. and what i found that it was was a. badger. listen.

yup. [Music]. you hear that like they swallowed a. balloon like a helium balloon and they. and they [ __ ] bro doing sex listen. again. [Music]. oh yeah that's like somebody freaking. you know you know sometimes the clown. will fold up that balloon for you and. they'll hand it to you and.

you know if you gas that thing out. sometimes you. you know you pretend it's cute it's a. flower it's a crown when mom and dad are. around. then you sneak off behind the barn and. gas up. and then you try to uh you know. then if you're doing sex or if you just. um. you know doing hula hooping anything. where you got your body moving with that. gas in it and you'll sound a little bit. like this. [Music].

oh oh that's bad now that that one's. angry man that fella got angry about. something. um but yeah we got we got some good. calls that are in. what's going on with me not much i'm. just honored to be here. be here today man um you know i've been. going through some tough stuff in my own. world. and i want to kind of talk about that a. little bit uh. you know um you know i.

i fell off of my sobriety about a month. ago. and so i've just been you know just been. battling to kind of get back. on that train um. and i wanted to kind of talk i wanted to. talk about it on here but i just. the timing was kind of never right and i. don't like to. i don't like to have to report to the to. the podcast every week about. you know how i'm doing it with uh with. sobriety because i don't want.

you know me and my and. i don't want any of my sobriety. to be like something i like that i then. have to like like i feel like an. obligation to the podcast i don't ever. want to have to feel that way. because it doesn't it won't help me uh. in my journey with being sober it just. it won't help me um. so i haven't been doing anything batman. i was just in a lot of pain and i didn't. want to take pain pills and.

i'd fallen off of going to my meetings. and uh. and so i just i i i drank and i just. found that drink. drinking was helping me deal with the. pain better. um then pain pills i just i don't want. to take pain pills. and if i had a beer i could manage. it was just easier you know i could have. half a beer or something it would take. the edge off a little and and give me. some relief. um so. you know things i've been doing now. we're trying to have a meeting here at.

my home. um you know been staying in contact with. my. with other people in the program um. and. i don't know i i guess i was a little. like. you know i know we have some listeners. that that are sober and so i. i didn't i guess i was afraid some that. you know that they would judge me or um.

i don't know. yeah they would think i i don't know. what i don't know what i thought i mean. i guess. i guess yeah i guess i was just afraid. of being judged or something but. um you know i haven't been like. scared i haven't been putting myself in. in bad instances. um but you know i definitely. you know i'm just trying to you know get. back on.

the the best foot um. so that's kind of where i'm at with it i. guess. uh you know so i just. wanted to be honest i hope i'm not. letting anybody down you know i'm just. it's just you know i don't know it's. just a journey and i i. and this is where i'm at and so i can't. be ashamed of where i'm at or anything i. don't feel ashamed. um you know i just.

i want to i want to best put myself in a. situation. for me to be um. you know the healthiest that i can be. and the best that i can be in in most. regards. you know i can we can only be so best. you can't be 100. best you could be maybe 70. um so i'm glad i said it i i was kind of. scared to say it and uh. and you know i've been having a lot of.

fun in the episodes the past couple. weeks and so i didn't want to. kind of make it a downer or anything um. but you know i appreciate you guys just. you know uh being a part of my life um. and yeah i'm just happy to be here today. and uh yeah. so i still hang out at my my two best. friends here sober guys i still you know. i'm. i'm i'm surrounding myself with sober.

guys and i'm trying to. just get back on the wagon you know and. i'm not struggling every day i'm not. running around drinking i'm not like. making uh you know putting myself in bad. instances or anything. um but i do have some fear. that you know that i could. so um. so yeah i don't know that's just where. i'm at. you know my friends know and uh.

you know and and other people that are. in the program know and. you know i've long in my life i never. really felt like i had a problem with. alcohol. you know i never did i mean my problem. was always that alcohol could lead me to. do drugs. uh so you know i've never been somebody. just gets. just black i just never did that i don't. like drinking that much because you have. to go pee a lot. and i'd rather not pee i'd rather sit.

there and just you know keep watching. the program. but uh yeah i don't know maybe i'm. making too big of a deal out of this i'm. just trying to. share with you like kind of where i'm at. and and some of my fears. and um and. yeah that's just what i'm trying to do. so uh. anyway you know that's kind of that and. that's what's going on uh with me right. now and. um and uh.

and yeah so. um you know i've been picking meetings. back up and going online. and uh and. know i feel hopeful i don't feel like. scared i don't feel like i'm. spooked or anything but i just want to. be. honest with where i'm at. uh what else man um. oh yeah that badger was back there we.

got a sound board in here now. we may we're just trying it out they got. some different sounds in here. this is my favorite damn chica for like. yeah yeah and so that is my favorite. um we got a couple of other ones dude uh. that white rain and that's frank giles. right there. um oh big announcement frank giles was. at the comedy show the other night. so i'm on stage at zany's and.

and i'm looking around the crowd and i. see this suit. i see just this beautiful. this really this this mordor. snowman in a suit. and i said a joke and then i heard that. laugh. man that only that frank giles that. freaking. that rattle baby that death rattle. [Laughter].

and i said from the stage i said frank. and he said yes sir you know and it was. him dude. and everybody i was like oh my god. everybody is frank giles. you know and he's and he's here. and dude people were going crazy man. people were going crazy and so we did a. couple you know. we talked a little bit and talked a. little bit about the show and um.

yeah it was just it was fun he came. backstage after and we had a good time. uh it was special man so i just want to. say thank you frank giles for coming out. and man we we. we had a couple more questions about. death back there we talked about. and it was good to get some of those. answered. and he even said he'd come back on. sometime and follow up with more death. answers and. and different answers like that so.

um i want to let you know that uh. today's episode. is brought to you by liquid death it's a. mountain water. it's good today's episode is also. brought to you by. helix sleep and look. you know there there's a famous story. about the um. it's like the stepsister fell asleep and. they had somebody hit a walnut. under the sheets and she couldn't feel.

it because she was. too beautiful but the truth is. that [ __ ] was on a helix mattress man. that's the real truth man. and um and and a lot of people you can't. sleep today because your wife got long. hair her hair will come over and get in. your eyes and your face. you know her hair is like a dirty river. and it comes over and flows right up. into your damn. uh snuff holes. or sometimes you um you know you can't. sleep because.

uh the fan is making to get your fans. some people got a fan with a rattle and. they won't fix it. they won't fix it man damn chicken foot. they would rather just lay there and. just hear it every night. and be like i should fix it but they. don't fix it. so what you need now is that helix sleep. helix sleep has a quiz that takes just. two minutes to complete. and matches your body type and sleep. preferences to your perfect mattress.

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know you're looking for sleep. they have several different mattress. models to choose from they have soft. medium and firm baby i go firm. firm baby i like to feel like two. chinese are pushing up against my skin. when i'm resting. oh it's great for cooling down if you. sleep hot and even a helix plus mattress. for plus. size sleepers and you know who you are. baby them. then plus size sleeper baby if you sleep.

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that's helix sleep.com theo for up to. 200. off and two free pillows. you know when i sleep i kind of go. through this ritual you know i know i. like to put lotion on. and i learned that from my mother you. know i was raised by my mother. and you know that [ __ ] you that's joey. diaz said that i didn't say that. but um i was raised by my mother and so. she taught me at night you put lotion on.

she taught me when you get out the. shower you do the uh. towel around your hair you know there's. just different practices. you know what i'm saying like i couldn't. use i didn't know how to use a hammer. when i was a kid but. i knew how to uh lotion up my legs. and do when i was young you had this. fellow bus he would let us he's a senior. citizen. you know and that's really the most. citizen you can get. and he would let us uh lotion his legs.

man this older guy. you know mr birch and he was named after. the wood. and he would let us lotion his legs up. man and i don't know if he was. pedophile if he was pedophile it was. late onset because he never did anything. wild until just the very end. and he said i swear to god he went to he. went to heaven on some real. on some soft stilts baby because we my. god we must have put about six damn. gallons of lotion.

onto his legs man praise god big birch. baby. you know and i'll tell you this he's the. softest standing birch. there is out there. and we really we really loosened that. man up. um what else is going on. oh so we had a guest on here recently. you know. and he got you know we got assault he. he got caught you know using racial.

epithets. i think it's called i don't know the. exact term. but you know you're saying words you're. not supposed to say. and he said he would try to do better. that was a statement that he made and. and you know it's. i i wanted to think about it some and. just and. and it's not like you know. well first of all what makes me upset. what upsets me.

what upsets me most is that there's. hatred in the world that upsets me. um i don't think this man was coming. from a place of hatred i think he was. you know i think he was using a word he. probably shouldn't have been using. and uh and you know you don't know where. somebody learns a word you don't know. where. these days you know it's on the the n. words on the radio all the time. not the radio but it's on music you can. go buy it you can buy it on itunes. you can go buy it um.

and you know it's interesting because. uh because yeah it's that if you. call somebody that name and you mean it. and that and you say it towards them. it's. man it's hurtful you know when i could. easily see in people. of color how it would just how it's such. a word to demoralize you know. and to um. and to imprison in a space of of less.

than. um but at the same time. it's it's crazy that the word is. available for sale. and and i'm kind of all over the place. here um. and i'm not defending anybody for saying. it i mean it's. you know you hear it i hear it all the. time i hear it all the time you hear it. from people. in these days when i when i was young. you would hear it. well i guess i would hear when i was. young growing up from people that were.

racist and i would hear it from. music you know nwa and. and so it's weird because it's like a. word that's used in hip-hop culture. you know with the a at the end and um. and so it's just it's it's interesting. and i don't want to be afraid to like. think about things you know. but one thing that really made me upset. about. uh about the n-word is.

the way that media outlets cover it. and the way that media outlets cover it. so somebody says it right. they take it and they make articles. that say at the top of the and these are. outlets that would never even. probably cover the person that if. there's a famous person that says it. you know uh you can be a white dude in a. starter jacket and say it all day you.

could be six. nine and say it all day you know but if. you're popular and you say it the media. they cramp down on you. and what gets me um. is that they use it the media puts. inward. in the title of articles. so they get you to go click on it. and then you're reading the article. you're watching it or whatever it is. so they are making money off of it.

and man that burns me up to think that. because then you and i bet if you follow. the companies. who is who's who are earning. money from the clicks and the people. watching or reading. i bet it leads right to white pockets i. guarantee you that. so man it's just crazy that people that. would never even cover this artist. at all or this celebrity at all suddenly.

they're writing articles that are. clickable. that they're making money on so they're. basically. making money off of the n-word. they're making money off of it. and man that really i mean that just. yeah man that just makes it makes me mad. bro that make me just. mad dude make me feel like a damn just. like six badgers are climbing up and. down my spine you want to know what a. badger sounds like i'll tell you.

[Music]. and let's get to the angry ones. [Music]. that's what it makes me feel like you. know because you have companies that. don't care and now that. so they're basically you they are using. the n-word. to make money. and that's that man that burns me up it.

just burns me up. and i think it should burn anybody up. you know. yeah and it's kind of wild in the media. like somebody can apologize first for. for for uh saying something they. shouldn't. somebody can apologize for using a. racial slur but the immediate they don't. want a. apology somebody could say well i'll do. better. but that's not enough for them. they want to just roast it they want to. take over they want to. they want you to burn.

and that's just wild to me like. don't no matter what someone does don't. we want them to have a. don't we want them to feel. you know you want someone to feel. reprimanded. but don't you want some don't like what. if it was your kid that did it like it's. just crazy people would. ostracize so much and just denounced.

like there's you are worthless. and uh like what do they want you to. kill yourself what do they want. do they want you to lose your own life. by your own hand. by a dagger by a sword. you know i just don't understand. sometimes. because somebody's saying they'll do. better i mean it's but i guess you know. you need to believe them.

but man and then what if. and and what if don't any of these. writers who write these articles what if. your kid does something wrong one day. what if your husband your brother your. what if someone you. do you want them to be burned like that. i just don't i i don't know. and then it's wild that they'll say you.

know it's like they shouldn't. we should they should just get rid of. the word. they should get rid of the word because. you could buy it online i mean website. is mapple music somebody whatever. platform they're making money. you could go listen to it you could buy. it. maybe white people shouldn't be allowed. to buy stuff with the word in it. if you sell somebody enough produce.

you know when sometimes a strawberry. rolls out their mouth. you can't be shocked but you're the one. vending it to them. and i'm not saying that's the case in. this instance exactly i'm not saying. that but i'm saying that that's a real. thing. you know and i think there's a lot of. people out there of color who feel the. same way who are just tired of. the music that's like you know kill. these n words and all this [ __ ] it's. just.

it's i don't know and look. i'm just a white person so i only have. my experience. you know i grew up around a lot of black. people i used to be in a group called uh. nfl and i can't say the whole name of. the group but i can say for life. um. dude i used to ride my bike in in the. school in the morning. and johnny smith and the boys they would. come and jump on my bike.

and they would call me to a bus when i'd. come in they would call me the n-word. bus hey here comes the inward bus and. they would all pile on my bike. and i'd be sitting there just rolling. just a damn i mean literally the. basketball team. deep and now we just you know man my. dude my quads was beefy son. my quads was beefy you know what i'm. saying. damn chicka for like you know it.

and they would call me the n-word bus. here come the n-word bus. and my parents didn't say it you know. my dad said it one time a black guy. stabbed him with a screwdriver and he. said it. so i'll be honest but um. i don't know man some of you know it's. it's just. like there's just a lot of red tape out. there but then look. that's only my perspective and i'm not. saying that it's right but i don't want.

to feel like i can't think and talk. about it. um because i also know that it's a. hurtful word. you know uh but i also know that. the media just there's no court of law. there's just. the there's no examination of that kind. of thing of. of what was going on you know. and in this instance he called a white. guy it and i think mo i think a lot of. white people should be called it.

honestly. you know maybe that's what needs to. happen maybe you need to line up a lot. of black people that want to say it and. a lot of white people that should be. called it. i don't know but. anyway man i i didn't mean to go off on. that i just. i don't know it's just it's you know it. was here in the central east. that's where you know i mean it's. everywhere.

but i just don't understand sometime the. media is taken i don't like. that there's companies out there making. money off of it profiting. profiting off of it man that burns. that burns my bread man. but we'll get into a few more calls here. man i know that. and i'm gonna tell you right now that if. you're suffering from mental health. issues. which i am you know i missed my medicine. yesterday and then i get late at night.

and. i can't remember if i took my medicine. and then i don't want to take it because. it keeps me up i can't sleep and then. i'm like dang. and then i wake up the next day and now. i'm feeling depressed and. you know if you take medicine it can be. it can be tough. well if you follow in times where you. where you need some help uh. better help can help you you know. if there's something something. interfering with your happiness or. preventing you. from achieving your goals better help.

will assist you. and assess your needs and match you with. your own licensed professional. therapist that's right you can start. communicating in under 48 hours. there's a broad range of expertise. available at better health. if you know if you've won a certain type. of uh mental health professional. you may want somebody that is your same. race or religion or. creed or i don't know what creed is i. mean it was a band but i don't know what. their. what they mean by that but you know. maybe if you can read or can't read or.

somebody or. if you blind and you want to talk with a. blind. therapy then they can do all of that. better help want you to start living. happier life today. visit their website read their. testimonials betterhelp.com. theo that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p. and join the over a million people have. taken charge of their mental health with. help of an experienced. professional you want a professional you. don't want somebody in a chef's hat.

uh you know giving you mental help you. know what i'm saying you don't want. somebody. um on a surfboard giving you mental. health you want a therapist brother. in fact so many people have been using. better help they are recruiting. additional counselors in all 50 states. wow. this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp. and this past weekend listeners get 10. off their first month at betterhelp.com. theo. oh man um what else i wanted to write.

i wanted to tell you they was um. [Music]. oh uh. i saw also they had uh. they had sexual allegations against. marilyn manson. you know and i don't know what the guy. did i don't know. but i would you know i don't know if he. i and i don't think he was messing with. underage women.

i think he was dating of age women. but i'll say this some lady they said. she said they found out she had a sex. dungeon. and he was trying to hit her with a. wigwams or something dildos sorry. um. by looking at marilyn manson. that should give you a 99 idea.

that this dude don't be. [ __ ] regular you know what i'm saying. he ain't [ __ ] regular. he'll put on a condom that has edgar. allen poe's autograph on the side of it. you know. you have to like. if you if you go to dinner with them and. they serve in vulture. you gotta think oh he probably gonna. have an extra dick or two on them you. know what i'm saying like. you can't look at that guy.

and think that things are gonna be. regular i don't think. i'm not blaming anybody i'm just saying. you have to have like because the lady. said oh he was scary or something. but i'm just saying look. the dude is doing 365. days of halloween okay.

this dude does halloween like a. instagram thought does her birthday. all right it's a two-month deal i bet. this dude probably [ __ ] you know. he'll probably. you know this dude got licorice under. his armpits for good luck i'm just. saying. you can't look at marilyn manson's. and expect that he ain't gonna be. skeeting asphalt or something you know. what you just you can't look at him.

the dude looks like the saw movies. i remember i'll tell you this you know. and i've and i've had i've had a. i was almost molested you know or. semi-molested or whatever at a marilyn. manson show. they had a man this man uh richard. langenstein they called him dicky. and he was a senior citizen and he was. he had um what's it called when it looks.

like you have snow on your arm. but uh it's like a. i think um scabies or something i don't. know what it is. hold on let me look it up. he had um. seven causes of white spots on your skin. mycosis bro i don't know if he had that. [ __ ] he ain't have that man.

dermatite dermatitis eczema broth uh. maybe. yeah i think he had eggs in my bro i. think he had that. hypodemonicism sculler sclerosis. i don't know bro he was [ __ ] spotted. up you know what i'm saying he was that. speckled molester. you know he was that um he was that. uh you know he was that. you know he was that dicky dalmatian. kind of guy.

well he took me and my best friend at. the time. patrick he we were 14. we was 14 we met him through church and. he took us to the. marilyn manson show and dropped us off. in there. and dude it was 18 and over. and he took one of my friends to las. vegas i think it might have pedophiled. him i don't know. but but i do know and i think that's. what happened but um.

but anyway what happened was hold on. so richard langenstein and he deceased. now human to jail for pedophilin bro. for p filing but um. was i telling you oh we went to marilyn. manson's. on stage he cut his friend open with a. beer bottle and the ambulance came. i remember being in the bathroom. my friend and i are peeing and it's.

taking a long time. because everyone around us. smells like voldemort. and we're peeing as a guy behind me. eating [ __ ] charcoal briquettes bro. it's. the dark arts. and somebody said to someone else they. said man. these kids are pretty young to be in. here. and somebody else goes yeah somebody's. gonna. them tonight and they said f word [ __ ].

so anyway bruh uh. you know what was i talking about dude. is this for better help what is this um. i don't even know. it's just like but i know that when i'm. going to maryland. i know i'm going to i know. that i'm entering you know be.

al's a bub's [ __ ] i know. that they gonna have crows in the. corners of the room. you know i know that if marilyn manson. spits on my back. that the that the saliva is gonna. slither off down my. arm into a drain and procreate a demon. i know. now i don't know everything.

but i have some responsibility as a. human to. lightly assume that things are going to. be risque. and i knew that at 14. but anyway man. let me hear from my freaking friend. again bro you know what i'm saying oh my. god. damn chicka fully yeah. you know what i don't give a [ __ ] you.

know that. that's the madman himself man you know. that so that's fun. um let's get into some calls man i want. to thank you guys for being a part of my. life. and you know i know i say some stuff on. here that some people. might not agree with and that's okay. you know and uh it's okay if you don't. agree with me. i i probably don't agree i i i i'm just. trying my best i'm trying to think out. loud and. recently man i've been angry.

and when you mix anger with trying to be. peaceful it's hard. you know when i'm just angry and. [Music]. and i don't even know why sometimes man. i don't know if i'm angry at myself. i don't know if i'm just angry at the. world it's a tough time right now. you know i called a friend the other day. and uh.

and i was just telling him i'm angry. he's like man i'm so glad you said that. i'm angry. people's angry. you know and i stay away from the news. these days and that i think that helps. some. but it's amazing that the news will. never go on trial for. its crimes. imagine the people they read an article. and they believe it. right they believe it and they go out. and take some action and somebody dies.

from that action or gets hurt or. you know somebody does it starts a crime. it starts a. i mean that started by media by bad. information by faulty information. people trying to get money. man we are in a canoe brother we are. rolling. through one of them haiti's tributaries. right now i feel that brother praise god. let's hear some calls that came in man.

and um. you know and thank you guys for being a. part of my life and uh. and for sticking with me when i'm i. don't know i don't want to be right i. don't want to be wrong but i want to be. able to think out loud. and recently sometimes i get afraid to. do that. you know with all this canceled culture. out there you can't even think out loud. and if you have comments or thoughts on. anything i ever talk about you're. welcome to call in and share them. you know that 985-664-9503 is the.

hotline. and uh if you need to take me to task if. you need to. share something that's on your heart you. know that's troubling you man i think. right now sometimes i'm scared. you know i'm scared of getting older i'm. scared of being in a new place. um. i'm scared of not being able to figure. out why i have a tough time really. loving people like in a real intimate.

way that. you know i could start a home or. something like that or do a family. um i'm scared sometimes that god wants. me to do more for him. and uh not like he chooses me to do more. but just that he wants to. he wants me to be more part of his life. sometimes in some ways. or her life whatever god is you know the. goodness in the world whatever that is. you know i'm not i'm not sticking this.

uh pen in this tail on. on a religion donkey i'm just. i'm just trying to save my ass you know. uh. but i feel like you know uh. and you know i get caught up in myself. and i'm not doing. it's not that i'm not doing i just. i i don't know sometimes i feel like. there's just a more like god wants to be. able to do things with me.

and not pedophile stuff you know good. stuff. positive things not take me to a damn. marilyn manson's bro. i can't believe we went dude it was like. 200 people and there was so small. and he cut twiggy ramirez open with a. damn beer bottle. and we lost our minds bro. god all right let's get some calls that. came in man let's hit one up right here. uh. here we go yo theo. this is stephen calling from reno nevada.

what's up steven from. reno and reno is one city i would never. um accept blood in. you know i'll drop a pint off bro but if. they try to put anything in me in reno. son. you know i'm friggin i'll fly out before. i catch that bag son. gang homework just calling to inform you. that it's had a. the birth of my first son last night. congratulations. man dude this is positive stuff thank.

you for this call man. you know i've been i've had a shovel out. for half of this episode and i've just. been digging us into a hole. that's beautiful man congrats stephen. you know he went full. term so he wasn't premature like that. gentleman nick. oh yeah early nick they called him in. this house growing up. you know and he'll he'll grow to 70. years probably but he'll never hit nine. months. you know he'll never hit full form baby. onward but uh just letting you know.

that he was a healthy baby boy born. february 2nd at midnight. and uh we decided to go ahead and name. him theo. after you you know a little theodore and. just sharing that with you buddy uh gang. gang. gang gang bro. dude that's cool man thank you bro. thank you stephen man uh that's sweet of. you man. i love that little guy and i hope your.

wife is doing it good and healthy and. congratulations man. you got a little son that's beautiful. man you know i think i i. know i you know i think about it more. and more often about getting a little. child that kind that's. that's my own and um. well look i'll give you some warnings. what can he look forward to as being a. theo it's. it can be tricky um. and he was born at midnight he's that. midnight snack. you know we had a kid in our. neighborhood growing up this kid brunch.

hawkins was his name. and he was named uh he was born right at. 10 30 a.m so they call him brunch. um but for your son. being theo he might wet the bed till. he's 32. you know what i'm saying bro but it's. not really it's not a medical issue. it's just he's just nervous and scared. and that's how he is. um you know he believes in. you know he it might be seeing his. believing really.

um what else um. he likes pasta but he doesn't go crazy. for it. i would say that he gonna like coconut. um what else he yeah he'll be. he'll definitely be flirty with the. ladies all ages. you know he likes to hug a woman make a. woman feel good. likes to feel the titties press against. his body against his the warm bags. against his body. um what else um.

[Music]. he might have a nightlight for a while. man he might have a nightlight. still um. what else could i tell you about this. kid he you know he's gonna have that. that that freaking he gonna be dragging. that wagon baby he's got that booty of. meat. and that's gonna be you know it is what. it is and it ain't what it ain't. but if he sits down he means it. um he likes box lunches if you send him.

to camp you can set him with a lunch. he's not going to complain he likes that. lunch he likes to open his little meal. and have his little things in there. and you can just cut the sandwich one. way you don't need to do it both ways. you know that's a little french for him. and we don't need to do all of that. what else he like he will have a teddy. bear but it might not be a teddy bear it. might be a different kind of. like kind of a stuffed animal or. something you know a different like. thing that he'll.

sleep with you know i used to sleep with. a wooden spoon for a while. um you know just just he. he just might pick something different. uh. what else he'll like to ride his bike. but he's going to want to ride probably. with other kids he don't want to ride. alone really that much. it gets scary um. you know he's going to want to hear that. you love him. you know you're just going to want to. tell him and just make sure he hears you. you know just.

just let him know that you love him. that's going to really make him feel. good. um what else. uh and if he has a brother make sure. they know their brothers make sure that. they look out for each other. you know or if he has a sister make sure. you tell them hey this is your sister. you. you know you guys are teammates you know. make sure you let him know that because. if nobody tells him he just won't know. and so he might feel by himself and his. siblings might feel. by their self um.

but dude thank you bro thank you for. sharing that and congratulations to. little theodore bro. beautiful little fella out in the world. man you know and i hope he really has a. good existence and. and for me it's been a fun name to have. you know it's really been a fun name to. have so far so i'm happy to pass it on. let's get another call here that came in. um this is 985-664-9503.

as always. hey deal my name is michael. from texas what's up michael. and texas yeah texas is a good place to. uh. honestly to hide a body man you know. what i'm saying you get about. west of uh of el paso with a shovel dog. they never gonna find your ex-wife dog.

gang. i've called a couple times and you would. ask. questions and advice uh. about my addiction. um the day before last. or the night before last i i relapsed. i was just a little just a little over. 100 days. clean and silver we're doing.

really good and. with everything that i'm going through. you know i gave in. yeah the guilt of knowing that i gave in. and not saying anything to my family or. my fiance. or anyone it's getting to me. because i know how proud they were to me. like.

it's all they talked about how proud. they were. i let them down i wanted to uh. i don't know if i really want advice or. whatever i mean. i'd love your advice for really i just. called to get this off my chest. to somebody because i literally have no. one. that i want to talk to about it and i. know you bet you've been there.

gang brother um. thanks for thanks for the call man i. feel like literally like i'm listening. to myself right now. so thanks for the call you know i'll. just share what other people. in program have shared with me that you. know it's just a journey this is our. journey. and this is where we are. you know i had three years two years six. months. um dude 100 days man do you know how.

bro that hundred days is man. that's the hardest bro getting that. first that hundred. days in a pandemic when people are. eating each other and people's you know. everybody people's buying guns and doing. traps in the yard. and freaking iwo jima and [ __ ]. you know what i'm saying people's eating. fireworks people's marrying her sister.

jerry seinfeld dated a 17 year old. you're doing fine man. you're doing fine man uh. i'm gonna see if i can try to call you. right now actually bro let me see what i. can do here. hold on.

hey hello hey michael what's up man it's. theo vaughn bro. what's up man where are you. i'm just chilling man uh i'm actually. calling out. it's crazy man because i'm doing this. episode and. we can leave this in the episode or we. can take it out it can be up to you. uh but yeah i was just talking about a. relapse like a month ago and. you know and i just i don't know i felt. uncomfortable talking about it and then. i got to your call.

and it's just like well i could just. i could feel you man it's been rough. brothers. it's been a rough time but i'm getting. through it. yeah how you managing all right yeah i. just i mean after it happened i kind of. i mean i kind of went off you know the. deep in there for a little bit. uh i still haven't told anybody but uh. it it was rough for like a like a good. three days. and then finally i just told myself like.

you did what you did. just you know you just take your head up. and go. amen i cannot believe i'm on the phone. with you right now jesus christ was. crazy. it was just man it was just small world. because i was like. scared to talk you know i was talking. about it on the on the episode and i was. like scared to talk about it and i'm. like how do i say this. and you know i felt like i was letting. some people down and like.

um and i guess i felt like i was letting. myself down too. you know some uh you know. but then i got to your call and i was. like oh man um. yeah i'm not the only person that's you. know that's just kind of had this moment. you know. yeah it's it's a hard thing to go to you. know especially by yourself. with no one to talk to a lot of people. don't understand it. i feel like a lot of people don't get. you know that. that stuff so that's kind of why i.

called you because i know that i mean i. don't really know what you've. messed with in the past but i knew that. you kind of had you know your issues. oh yeah that liquors i don't have a. problem with drinking but i get. if i if i you know i'll get scared i'm. gonna get by that white donkey bro. you know yeah exactly exactly i'll be. riding that i dude i'll be riding that. downhill donkey on roller skates. i was all into i was all into the pain.

pill. that was my biggest my biggest thing. right there. it took me down for a long time damn you. do construction i got into heroin. damn bro yeah what are you doing dog. damn. you trying to be on that show the wire. you gotta tighten up. dude i just i was one of the people that. if i did it. i went i was all in if i was gonna do it. i want to do it all and do the most i. could. bro i could relate look every time i.

meet somebody that smoke crack i'm. jealous of. yeah them i never got to school i don't. want to try it i know. i've always wanted to try but i'm scared. that's when that's when i guess that we. know maybe there's something. that's different in our head because. other people they'd be like somebody's. like. i smoke crack they'd be like okay i'm. gonna i'm gonna get out of this. walgreens before things get weird. but you and me bro i'll be like hey man. tell me what it was like what was it. like. exactly exactly that's funny man.

um well how are you feeling now man are. you feeling better what are you feeling. like. well i mean if i mean once i got over. the guilt. uh i started feeling better yeah and. i've been. you know something else i've been doing. was really you know lean it on. on god and i know that sounds. corny to some people or whatever but not. to me. not today it doesn't bro well a lot of.

people i mean i. you know i've seen over the years like a. bunch of people that you know that. you know go to prison or go to rehab. it's as soon as they get out there like. they're all into god and they'll buy one. a lot of them are just. i mean in my opinion they're putting on. a show i don't really think they. they believe it you know what i mean. yeah and i. i didn't want to come off like that but. yeah no i've really been leaning on. on god and trying to read the bible and. praying as much as i can.

and it's kind of got me through it. yeah man it was in your show too dude. your show. i'm not trying to be a fanboy but. you don't i don't think you understand. like how much. your podcast. i'm trying not to cry dude i don't want. to sound like a dumbass but uh. your voice sounds tougher than my voice. i would say that easily. well i'm not tough brother i'm not so. but.

every morning when i get up it's hard. for me to get up and it's hard for me to. put my clothes on to go to work and i. you know it's just hard because my job i. mean i'm a. gravedigger i bury people for a living. dang no. way bro are you serious yeah so it's oh. my god. damn bro you're working wow you're at. the sphincter of life bro you that great. dude. so sometimes it's like [ __ ] like. depressing.

so i get up i'm depressed because of my. issues and i go to work and i'm. burying people like [ __ ] you i can't. catch a break. and then uh i ended up buying some of. these airpods. i put my airpods in one day. i knew that you had a show or a podcast. and i started listening to it and dude. that's all i do though. all day long on the tractor at. the gym i mean a tractor bearing dog.

no you got to use a tractor to dig holes. they don't dig them by hand. some people do if they don't have money. but. like if they can't afford a tractor or. something i can understand that most. people dig them with a backup now. oh that's sellout [ __ ] bro i want that. hand dug baby. dude i've done it a few times and it's. it's a lot of work brother. a lot of work because i guess legally. you got to get them so low huh. yeah yeah i think the law requires here. to have. 20 you know 24 inches of dirt on top of.

like whatever you're buried in. [Music]. so we've got to dig down you're pretty. deep like five feet really. yeah oh yeah you could take yeah it's. supposed to be six but. you know we're trying to tell them i. don't think i've ever done one for six. feet. yeah that's what they said that's a word. yeah damn wow man that's crazy to even. think that i'm doing a podcast and. somebody that's digging graves is. listening to it bro. that's literally what i'm doing like. while i'm digging graves i'm listening.

to your pocket. it's the only thing it's the only thing. and i'm not trying to be corny but it's. been the only thing that's. put a smile on my face made me laugh. like i remember one day. like a week or two ago i was listening. to one. i don't remember what you were talking. about but. you said something and dude i laughed. so hard i was crying i was pregnant. oh it was about uh you were talking. about joining a cult. you were talking to brendan about you're.

joining a cult. oh yeah said something like you said i. was doing. dolphin danger for some [ __ ] dude i i. was crying i was laughing so hard. oh i was on that giddy up baby you know. yeah that one got me but i mean i just. love listening to it every day dude. thanks bro well i appreciate it man that. means a lot dude i'm glad that uh. you know i'm just glad that i'm glad. that when any of us have some little. thing in life to look forward to you. know and that's one reason why i feel.

like. you know when you talked about god i was. like dang bro i want i just want. uh yeah you just never know when we can. be that for somebody any of us dude you. know so it's like that's what i hate. about. you know if i'm messed up or something. it's like am i missing out on those. chances. or any of us missing out on those. chances to be you know the person that. sees somebody at a store and gives them. a smile or the person that. answers the phone when somebody calls. and they're having a tough moment it's. just like. you know i just fall out of the lane of.

that i fall out of that hov. lane you know yeah um. but well damn dawg you notice don't be. too hard on yourself man you know i'm. not trying to preach at you but. you know it's not all linear things. aren't all linear. you know yeah like i was like it's got. to be in a straight line i got to do it. you know. yeah that makes sense sometimes our. store we just don't know what our story. is man but.

yeah that's how i feel now i just feel i. feel like i'm trying to figure out. like what i need to do next and how i'm. gonna do it yeah. sober yeah that's a tough thing to do. it's tough man and it's been a tough. time for people too man. i mean i've had friends that have died. i've had friends that are the most. soberest people ever they should be in a. damn. sober pageant bro they would win. they would win dang you know the top. prize they would win the crown of.

um but they people falling off just it's. a tough time you know. yeah i've been having a berry like. literally bury people that i knew. i grew up with it's [ __ ] rough. it's rough like i'm you know people that. i grew up with that. went to school with i'm putting them in. the ground because of cobin. drug you know all kinds of [ __ ] damn. bruh. yeah dude that's why yeah man yeah look. well at least you have an excuse bro. i'm just podcasting and being hard on.

myself you are hard on yourself bro you. need to. ease up a little bit i want to tell you. that i messaged you on instagram too. are you telling you yeah you messaged me. back one day and i [ __ ]. i bet had a heart attack dude don't have. a heart attack bro. no the bodies are gonna pile up at the. gate. i was one of those fans that i'm sure. you get a lot of i mean you know like. you'll. if you messed on the reply they [ __ ].

thank your buddies and. they [ __ ] yeah yeah oh that's a. dangerous game yeah people start sending. you everything recipes bro. they start sending you baby pictures and. [ __ ] like damn. it is intense dude that was that was me. when you wrote me back that day i was. like oh yeah well now we're friends hey. man how about this. then i had to dial it back a little bit. and then i was listening to one of your. shows. and you're kind of being hard on. yourself and i was like you know i'm. going to write him one more message to. tell him not. you know cheer up not be so hard on.

himself. yeah you need to ease up man yeah i. don't know how you know. i don't know and it's funny i don't even. notice it it's just the way that i'm. built but i appreciate that man. maybe maybe this podcast will one day. end when i'm finally not hard on myself. you know. i think you just need to realize you're. uh you're a special. good person man like and i think you've. i think if you knew how good of a person. you are and how much you helped. you know everybody and people that. listen to you i think you wouldn't be so.

hard on yourself. you helped thanks bro you helped me a. lot brother. well i appreciate you calling me bro. like. you don't know what this is doing to me. right now like it's. like when my phone started ringing i've. got your number uh. the hotline number yeah stored in my. phone. and when my when my phone started. ringing. i was in there with my fiance and i.

grabbed the phone i took off running. the front door damn bruh she thought you. left her for another man bro. you better go there. you're gonna have to go back in there. man well dude i appreciate it man yeah i. think. you know i think we it's just funny we. all just need somebody to hear. we all just need to hear that somebody. thinks that we're important or this that. like we matter you know. and uh especially like when people that. struggle with alcoholism and that kind.

of stuff man it's like damn i don't know. why those words just aren't built into. our skin sometimes um. but look man i'll be in touch with you. man i'ma hit you on my private line. don't be calling me all the time but uh. dude i won't but i'll say hey that would. mean the world to me man if you really. did that would mean the world to me well. you got it bro you know i feel like at. least we can uh. hey you know two alcoholics talking to. each other man that's how the whole. program. started there we go so. well don't be hard on yourself man i. love you bro i love you too man.

you i appreciate you calling me all. right you bet man be good dog. all right i'll talk to you soon all. right peace baby. man bro hell. i don't even know what the world is man. yeah man i don't even know why that made. me kind of emotional bro i think.

you know it's just i don't know. i think we all i think we all just want. to hate we all just want to he. we all want to hear somebody. i don't know we all want to hear. somebody tell us that we're okay you. know or we all want to. man i don't even know man i should get. me some type of way right now bro.

damn no homo for real bro no cat man. but. yeah i don't know we all just. we're all just trying to be okay and and. somehow this world has made it kind of. tough sometimes. or maybe it hasn't i don't know i don't. know. i don't know man but.

but that's the power of people i know. that. you know i know you could call somebody. and you could both leave the call. feeling like somebody cares and i think. you know uh. i think that's powerful and that those. are moments where i think god shows up. bro. in those little moments where somebody. feels like when you feel in your heart. bro when you feel that.

feeling inside of you just like care. bears are [ __ ] swimming through your. veins dog when you. feel. like the world comes out of usually i. feel like the world goes in. it's coming on me it's but when you feel. like the world comes out of you. for just brief moments man that's where. i find god man. right there. uh let me see if anybody needs a call. right now.

i think man we did a lot i've been the. [ __ ] i've been through a lot man i'm. gonna need some more. water man damn. but yeah if anybody is out there. struggling man i guess the hard thing is. yeah just saying like i'm. i'm i'm i'm struggling or i didn't i. didn't. do first place you know i didn't win. i didn't you know i'm not sober i'm not. champion i'm not uh.

you know the pressure i just i don't. know i don't know man i don't know what. i'm trying to say man. i'm just trying to say if you having a. tough day man i love you bro. am female bro and. and if you're not having a tough day and. you're feeling good then. you know you never know when you could. be that little bit of light that that. reflects off somebody. and makes them feel warm.

you know no homo dog for real bro praise. god dawg so. um damn i'm gonna hear about this shitty. jiu jitsu dog damn bruh. they gonna be hard scarfin your boy out. there. but keep your head up out there michael. thanks for the call man and thanks for. the kind words dude. yeah i'm still kind of a real just. overwhelmed emotion but i don't know.

what it's about. you know sometimes when i feel emotional. i have to like kind of like feel it. and like i'll try and talk to myself. like okay. are you happy you know are you. and then i'll be like maybe i'm happy. and i'm like okay why are you happy. okay i'm happy because. and i'm happy because.

no it's not really happiness because. then my emotions start to fade away and. i can tell if they fade away then i'm. not on the trail. so they're going to be like are you. surprised. sometimes the word will come in my head. am i surprised. yes so now i answer yes i'm surprised. and then why are you surprised. and then i'm surprised because.

i guess i'm surprised because people. care. so you know i'm surprised because people. care.

because i think you know when i was. young and [ __ ]. growing up i felt like nobody cared bro. and you put up all these things inside. of you because nobody cares you know and. then. you happen upon a small moment where. somebody really cares you know.

and uh. and it just disproves everything you. thought you ever knew about the world. man and that is. surprising so that's how i work. through when i'm having like a emotional. thing like where i figure out what i'm. feeling i have to ask myself. are you happy are you. um shameful or you you know you have to.

ask and then. if it still feels it's almost like a. metal detector if it still feels like. you're getting a little bit of a feeling. then. i'll say well why am i happy or why am i. ashamed or why. am i um mad you know and then sometimes. i can. i can badger up those feelings. [Music]. yeah yeah you also see these badgers bro. these things. these [ __ ] are for real out here oh.

oh that one's on that cocaine but that. was on that dust son. um all right man what else do we have. today we got nothing else man but i'm. i'm just i don't know man i'm happy to. be with you guys you guys be good to. yourselves man you deserve it and thank. you for being a part of my life man. i really mean it i needed it today and. boom you were there man damn.

you never ever know what can happen man. uh let's leave out on this tune man. i love this tune and this man really did. it right. and uh this is from. josh kelly my baby in the band hold me. my lord sing down the sun. [Music]. shine down your song.

so that it might. guide me back home. [Music]. we all need some light. on the darkest of days. [Music]. so that we might. come on not lose our way.

[Music]. it's a holy holy holy lord holding my. heart. down on my knees asking you to hold me. hold me hold me with your. loving arm come on josh kelly. all that i need.

time's even cruel. [Music]. [Music].

[Music]. make way for a brand new star. brand new start baby come on. [Music]. holy holy holy lord holding my heart. down on my knees asking you to hold me.

hold me hold me with your love and. know come on all that i need. [Music]. i need you to hold me. [Music].

i wanna walk with you in the light. i want to sing with you through. the night help me believe. holy holy lord holding my heart. i'm down on my knees asking you to hold.

me. hold me hold me with your loving. arm come on baby hold me all that i need.

oh. come. it don't on me mine.

i'm asking you to hold me man come on. no homo bro for real for real bro uh. that's hold me my lord and that is from. his new album my baby in the band. mr josh kelly and if that ain't a song. then i don't know a song man um. yeah sorry i kind of been leaking out on. this one bro but. you know some days that's the way it.

works and uh. i guess i'm a little embarrassed kind of. but i'm not ashamed. you know and um. yeah and i love you guys man gang bro.