Shane Gillis | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #478

I have new tour dates to tell you about. I'll be in New Orleans Louisiana we're. coming back over there we're going to do. it at the Sanger theater down now down. now downtown March 29th and 30th that's. Easter weekend uh get your tickets early. with the pre-sale code Rat King starting. this Wednesday January 17th at 10:00. a.m. local time General on sale begins. Friday January 19th at 10:00 a.m. local. time we also have tickets remaining in. Charlottesville State College Amhurst uh.

Brisbane Sydney in the Australia and. Atlanta Georgia get all your tickets at. theovon. docomo we are down here in Austin Texas. today over at Rooster Teeth Studios and. we are happy to be here and really happy. to let you know about today's guest um. he's one of the brightest young. comedians in the world he is just a damn.

I mean just a long damn just Ivory. Flamingo of a of a boy and he is just so. humorous and you know him from Matt and. Shane's secret podcast and his latest. special beautiful dogs on Netflix I'm. grateful to get to spend time today with. my friend Mr Shane. [Music]. Gillis I'll sit and tell you my story.

[Music]. shine on. me and I will. find. [Applause]. sing are you ready get I don't know I'm. really not a podcast who gives a we. can sit here and say nothing and people. be like. unbelievable the two comedic Geniuses of. our time done it again Legend going be.

like yo how do you jack off how do you. poop people like holy. yeah I'm not worried about. it Legend dude how weird how weird is it. when people start saying you're a legend. and you're like uh I just ate a Wendy's. Burger in the like family restroom by. myself I'm. depressed yeah that's always weird I. think cuz that's probably started to. happen you people were like dude this. guy's the king right some yeah yeah for.

sure a lot of I've heard stuff like that. off-road Elvis people call you that late. Elvis Vegas Elvis fat Fat Sweaty dying. Elvis that actually fires me up I'll. take that yeah people say uh like you'd. be like the baddest Dyke in the world. people say I've heard crazy. hot and I mean holding back water I'm. not talking about yeah oh yeah yeah. stick a finger in there dude if we went.

what if we did under we were undercover. lesbians I think you and me could pull. that off real easy you get rid of that. not all of it I know oh yeah leave a. little stubble like one of those really. crazy Les yeah like the ones that are. like you know they want you to know they. could have been a men if they wanted to. but they chose this route for sure. yeah. um good to see you man good to see you. man Shane bro nice to see you dude happy.

to see you you too man thanks for thanks. for hanging out and uh yeah and I was so. glad that I got to do Madden Shane's. secret podcast bro yes dude dude that. was awesome that uh Matt's amazing. Matt's one of those guys it's like you. Tim Dylan and Matt are the guys Nick. Mullen can do it too it's nice to be on. a podcast with you guys where you can. just sit there and be like all right go. because I'm not I feel like I'm not that. great at it I'm good at you know yeah. I'm it's nice to have somebody that's. just like good at think Beed up then I.

can you know I can do something you know. yeah yeah you can but then I get yeah. sometimes the wheel start to fall off I. agree I I'm actually very similar if I'm. like all right this is fun I'm having a. good day sometimes I'll just yeah not. many not many funny responses just yeah. doing it with a buddy is so fun dude. because you have like there's just. somebody to talk to like sometimes I do. them by myself and I'm like I wish. there was somebody else here you know. doing it by yourself is crazy yeah so. crazy I can I can't imagine.

how often do you do that it really is I. think I do it like once a month right. now by myself be hard yeah I think it's. let me think about what it's like uh I. think sometimes it's just tough because. you're own if you have a bad attitude. it's just you you know I can't imag yeah. if I if I felt bad I would go on there. and just be like hey I feel bad but then. you don't want to be every week like hey. I feel like I know I've been in. several months of that yeah every. episode I'm like hung over again. yeah God damn it this is depressing yeah.

really it makes you feel that like you. like every time you show up you're like. oh I'm hung over until you start to. notice a pattern you mean oh yeah for. sure yeah drinking too much that's but I. love it I love it dude I can't there's. there's no part of me that's like all. right stop oh yeah just like no this you. got it that's what you tell yourself you. got no then you're fully in control n. man you're good in complete control dud. dude one time we were drinking with my. buddy and and uh he got into the Uber.

right and he just didn't get his like he. had like real kind of heavy legs cuz his. mom kind of had heavy legs but she would. wear tight pants and you kind of. couldn't tell but if you were over there. a lot you knew yeah that she kind of had. really stocky legs and um but he was. bringing his second leg into the Uber. and his sandal fell off right so then we. had this place we go in bro he. shows off no yeah everybody was just. like he just seems so much drunker than. he was you know it's crazy I lo yeah. that's yeah losing one piece of Footwear.

and somebody's like oh that guy like a. lens of a glasses one lens you're. hammered dude you're a crackhead. now oh yeah that's that's insane I feel. like losing a glass is lens you got to. really yeah your kids are like nuh-uh. yeah yeah your kids are like we're not. we're going to order. pizza forever it's Pizza time yeah um. what was I looking at this morning that. was making me laugh it was um oh do you.

see that thing with the mayor do you see. that thing with mayor with the mayor of. New York. no it's a um oh yeah this is it right. here do you see this so Eric Adams he. teaches what is he saying they're. teaching kids how to they're teaching. parents how to search your kids' room to. find drugs and gun stuff get you see. this you can look at a jewelry box a. jewelry box of this nature maybe a. simple jewelry box but if you look. through it closely you don't know what. your child may be hiding for instance a. gun that's from the state of New York.

government was like make it scary as. hold on hold on start it over they. do yeah that music is crazy scare the. out of these people it's like it. almost seems like a um like the story. before Castlevania start like on a video. game jewelry box a jewelry box this is. opening menu maybe simp box but if you. look through it closely you don't know. what your child may be hiding for. instance a gun look at picture frames. behind them camera try to determine.

what's what's taking place behind a. picture frame you can find bullets you. should always when your child video game. that's where you find bullets in video. games look through it to see look. through his nag you might find a. grenade in addition to a book something. simple as a crack pipe something simple. as a as a baby doll what great is a kid. baby doll but also it could be a place. where you can secrete or hide. drugs secr this is mayor that's unusual.

like a pull like this with the button is. a perfect invitation to hide something. and I felt something bumpy I would reach. in see what it is just. look bro you guys have got to SL stop. man you guys have to see the I mean it t. that's unbelievable look at this where's. wait where's the cocaine. at high cocaine you can look in the. jewelry box a jewelry box hold I like it. more than just books go to jewelry box. just look what's inside your.

bookcases book this is like black. clue call me Colonel mus look. behind this picture of your cousin. what's that a eightball some. suppositories he's like oh look in look. in this baby doll what's in there a. shank a picture of Andy dof frame it's a. good kid I mean he's got guns and a. printer yeah oh it's a nice room yeah. it's like oh oh look under that Nintendo. switch oh what that bam it's a 12 gauge.

and some tramad doll now and lers he got. a lot of guns dude um that's pretty. awesome that's pretty awesome man he's a. good I like him Eric Adams yeah he seems. funny yeah seems. good yeah I think he obviously seems. down Earth he's willing to do that yeah. you know because that seems like it. could be like a sketch you know they. somebody's G that was a sketch you think. who where's that from no that's real it. feels like Reno that's real when that's. old though I don't know how that has to.

be old there's no way New York it was. tweeted out like this week and that's. why it got the rounds I don't mean to. punch holes in it cuz if that just came. out that looks like it's from 20 years. ago it looks like that was yeah check. your son's Invisalign case he may be. hiding uh shotgun shells or just bullets. bullets yeah look behind that autograph. picture of Katie Perry oh what's that. that's a Gatling gun and some oxies. oh you you think it's just your child's.

retainer case but open it up and Bam. it's an indentured servant and some. Quaaludes that is good for yeah honky. parents need to be doing this also what. do you mean like just you need to find. they need to find the weapons yeah did. your parents ever check your I'm trying. to think of my mom a my mom came in one. time and I remember I was touching. myself right big. surprise and. uh she's like what what are you are you.

doing that's what she said she shamed. you yeah she's like what are you. doing like and I was kind of sitting on. the bed it was almost like very almost. as if like in the 1800s you'd wandered. upon like a a guy who was like a a j. like a Jester traveling in the woods and. he taking off his suit and he's jerking. off on by the river bank or whatever you. know and she's like what are you doing. and I was like get out and so then she. closed the door right she waited like.

two seconds right I continued. masturbating she came right back in dude. I had a hotel guy do this to me like a. couple months ago no way really I was in. Indianapolis a Indian man walked. straight in the room while I was jacking. off a real Indian guy wow no uh from. India oh yeah yes oh yeah Hotel yeah. definitely and he the guy at the front. stood there for yeah he stood there for. a while oh yeah and I was like yo you. got to get out of here and then he stood. outside the door waited like 15 seconds.

and knocked oh wow I I started jacking. off as soon as he left again so I was. jerking off again I hear a knock. I was like dude get the out of here. what are you doing the crazy part is. imagine you walk over there with your. wiener still in your hand and look. through that little peep hole you know. who somebody else someone. different the guy I just screamed at. with my in my hand yeah hey get out. also I I was naked laying on top of the.

maid bed oh I didn't even get under the. covers it was right when I checked in oh. that's sad I just stripped down and went. straight to it you did yeah what is it. that makes us do that you know hotel. rooms it's almost like you know some. birds when they after they've flown for. a long way they'll like vomit right when. they land it's uh I don't want to it's. some like a seagull or something yeah. you know some birds can fly almost 1,00. mil before they land right but there's. some when they right when they vomit. they land we look that up yeah I see.

defensive vomiting that turkey vultures. do oh yeah I don't know about when they. land defensive vomiting there was a. Philly a Phillies fan defensive vomited. on a kid one time really at a game yeah. the guy in front of him was talking. and he puked on his son during the. baseball defensive that guy a turkey. ball dude yeah that's a Cracker Barrel. baptism right there dude yeah got puked. on at a baseball game cuz your drunk dad. with one lens in his glasses was. mouthing off.

dude there's way there's way too many. fights at these games these days or do. you think we're just recording them now. that's what it is I don't know there's. always been that many fights we there. has always been that many fights but. it's so easy to get in a fight at a. sporting event yeah CU you want your. team to win so bad and then there's a. guy next to you like clapping hard for. the other team well people also some. yeah that's true so I hate him I can't. control this game but I can that. guy up oh it's a good point you know I. might be losing about 30 out there but. right here I'm about to win yeah be. moral Victory I'm going to get arrested.

after the loss yeah I'm going to be I'm. going to vomit on this guy's fat. [Laughter]. son vomiting on a kid is so. funny well just be like this game's not. going. well there's no video is that the kid. it's the guy who did it it's from 2010. there's no video dude he does have one. lens I knew it Matthew yeah he does he. got one lens he has one lens you're. right mat Matthew Clemens Phillies fan.

vomit vomit man. vomit a. superhero I guess he threw up on a cop. and a kid damn just wow it's on a spree. yeah it says right there what. Philadelphia Phillies fan Matthew. Clemens did was enough to make himself. sick and us too for that matter but at. least now he admits it wow good friend. him we should call him sometime the. 21-year-old Cherry Hill New Jersey and. I've been there made love to a Native. American woman there which is crazy cuz.

you were just talking about that I. forgot about that they were the the mo. the hotel was under Renovations and it. was crazy I think she thought I was. bringing her to like some like crazy. place or something cuz there was the you. know all that um she pumped there was a. door visqueen hanging everywhere like it. was I don't even think people should. have been stay there like you didn't. even have a door it was just like Vis. Queen you had to hold your c key up to. the VIS Queen and just make like a sound. and then go in your. room uh let me see Clemens pleaded. guilty to simple assault and other.

charges Tuesday May 25th intentionally. vomiting on a man a police officer and. his 11-year-old daughter wow oh so it. was a police officer at the game he. wasn't like getting arrested wonder how. much time they gave him crime cider is. offering to buy vomit man a satellite. dish to discourage him from going to any. more games a satellite. dish the he's gonna be. bumped vomit man getting a hold of a. satellite dish let me buy you something. from the past you.

know he got 30 to 90 day days in jail. and two years of probation oh D wow. damn also quick update the Eric Adams. video was from 2011 when he's a senator. it went reviral still a senator doing. that is yeah KFC posted it on bar stool. yeah check inside of your son's baseball. bat man he could be hiding a couple of. Vikings in. there it's ridiculous you know. look under your little daughter's pillow. she could have some uh hookers or.

escorts under there like what check. under the bed found you there a. under there. yeah hey you oh you think that's a boogy. man under your son's bed that's some. Boogie that's a that's an. escort right there the khakis are so. nice in that video khakis and a blazer. just there could be bullets in there oh. you think that's a stuffed ludicrous. doll but open up its back and boom what. do you got a butt balloon a crystal and.

a couple of Naran. chewables um what were we talking about. dude vom man oh yeah you moved here I. did yeah you moved here since we last. talked to you yeah you made a big move. so like um cuz you moved from New York. yeah wow and was there part of you that. was kind of scared was there like what. were you thinking cuz I mean I've. thought about it you know and and a lot. of people have done it you know no I'd. come down here a lot cuz you know dude. Rogan's podcast do podcast down here do.

comedy so I've been down here enough so. I wasn't worried about like living here. I was worried. about uh Comics being like ah he. left New York he's trying to. suck Rogan's dick that that was like I. was like that's gonna happen I know that. uh no I was excited Matt was excited. about it so I knew I had Matt coming. down with me and then we brought our. other friends and it's good yeah yeah. yeah I uh and ta taxes are oh yeah butt. New York dude yeah it's crazy it's.

great yeah and uh oh what's that in your. daughter's bedroom what's that in the. case oh that's extra taxes that's what. taxes dude that's taxes and a couple of. Somas. bro lot of taxes up there oh it's crazy. it's extra I think 14% what's the state. tax rate in New York City up there. Zachary I think it's uh 10 point oh he's. guessing what is it no I'm not guessing. I got right here.

4% to 10.9% you see here wow because Los. Angeles is 13 I think per I was Hing. around that 4% range for a while when I. lived in New York and then you probably. moved up into at least that. 6.85% yes yeah yeah dude so that's kind. of crazy so you moved yeah like yeah I. think some people say that they're like. oh do you want to move there because. Rogan's there because Dylan's there it. seems like the new thing and I think. yeah I kind of maybe I don't know if I. had some fear I I don't know I don't. know if had fear of that you definitely.

think oh people think you're just yeah. you're just riding that guy's wiener you. know yeah somebody F yeah I mean um but. also he's like I would say if I was. still in New York yeah somebody else. moved here be like. couldn't take it I'd do the same thing. so yeah come back and pay these high. taxes pay these taxes live in a. hole in New York. yeah um but no I just want to move to a. place where you could do standup during. the week and forever it was just New.

York and. La now now you can do it in Nashville. and Austin does it feel well Nashville. you cannot oh really yeah you cannot. it's not the same I will I'll say that. 100% it is not the same as what the it. feels like here yeah like even just. going over to um the mothership it's. like you can do three sets in a night. probably yeah you can do you can do four. every single time there's usually two. shows in the small room too in the wow. main room I mean that's crazy you do. four sets a night yeah four sets a night. in the same building that you can go do. I mean that's that's unprecedented you.

it's changing what's nice is watching. like like mccusker cuz he was in Philly. where you can't do that and now he's. been living here just a few months and. he's he's got he's gotten so good really. just from doing yeah he can do it every. night yeah I met him last night or I met. him uh at your yeah I met him at your. podcast I met his wife too yeah Britney. is her name yeah yeah yeah yeah she got. he gots a beautiful little wife yeah. she's great. um yeah dude I think having that much. ability to get up is it starts to change. you you're like oh I just practiced it.

it didn't go in there let me let me try. it you're like right there you get the. bomb four times yeah take it on the road. and be like I'm not going to change. anything it's still not. working this episode is sponsored by. prize. piics do you love firing on Sports well. prize piic is the best daily fantasy. sports app for you indeed you can fire. on all your f fantasy sports like.

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year off right with the good habit by. going to trif nume.com Theo and getting. the journey pack today fume is giving. listeners of the show 10% off when they. use my code Theo to help make starting. the good habit that much. easier yeah that's wild dude yeah um. what has been like did you find a house. immediately how did you find a house. down here uh I just had a lady a real.

estate lady I was like I just need a. house that's furnished cuz I don't have. anything yeah so she first house she. picked out I was like that's it oh yeah. and I didn't see it until I moved in nuh. it was nice yeah I moved in I was like. it's nice oh it's like that show. where you meet your wife the first time. yeah like Indians yeah that's crazy dude. bro because here's the craziest part. about that getting married like that is. you what if you know your parents are. lames dude like they've been. picking off of you for Christmas. and they pick out like horrible I.

don't know there's also the the the forc. marriage is kind of nice though cuz if I. like an ugly chick mhm I'm like. damn people are going to find out about. this you know what I mean right now if. it's just like dude I had to you know. what I mean it's like my parents made me. this chick forever I don't care. girl's a girl D yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah dude oh I got it yeah it's like. being on a desert island oh I got to. tell people next time like down there. what's that I'm saying like if you're. stuck on a desert island you're going to.

you know it's like this is who I'm. with I have to yeah there's no judgment. here oh yeah or like Epstein's. Island yeah you know if you're on island. you got whatever my bad it's not fny I. think look let's talk about it if you're. on an island you have to F and there's a. lot of young people running around and. you're the only adult yeah what are you. going to do dude I don't what are you. going to do come on man this way you. need to check through your. child check through your child's color. and book easily in there they could have.

a couple ninja stars and a bear trap. that guy's out of his mind. that's good. stuff um yeah dude uh what were we. talking about is it. Islands yeah we were talking about you. buying a house unseen yeah yeah that's. Brave I was the thing I was most worried. about was the television M cuz I thought. it was like they I thought they were. going to hit me with like the Airbnb. pictures like you get there and you're. like oh this house sucks TV's big.

right so I'm good oh that's good H we're. set thank God it's furnished I would. have never I'd never furnish it really. yeah I have one folding chair in front. of the TV yeah yeah yeah my house was. furnished when I got my house thank God. and uh and then who told me oh Tom sigur. told me in this room he said hey man you. got to start getting some art for. yourself you have to get something you. like because it really does start to. change the way that you think about your. own Tom Tom's becoming like the Jay-Z of. standup you got to invest in art you got. to do this. yeah he's got art he's got sneakers he's.

got uh yamar uh what the car is called. the fastest one McLaren McLaren is that. it yeah that's wild to me I think I. would be scared to be like real rich I. wouldn't know how to do it I bet you're. all right oh I think I'm I'm okay having. more money for sure but I think if I. tried to be real Rich I just don't know. how I would I don't know what I would. spend money on you know. know like would you get a super fast car.

um no I don't I'm afraid to drive fast. yeah yeah I think yeah I just don't know. what I would get probably guns probably. couple you got to get guns Yeah couple. for your neighbors couple for you give. them out yeah you don't want to shoot at. your neighbors hide them in your kids. room your neighbor kidss room start. planting guns oh damn what's. this behind this child's bathing suit. right there it's an. AR-15 oh that's a oh you think that's a. the most dangerous gun in the world yeah.

you think that's a water weapon that's a. AR15 right there with some blood on it. now I get I understand Tom though he's. doing I mean he's got he's he's got. money why should you know oh I think. there's he knows how to spend it yeah I. just wonder what yeah I guess I hadn't. really thought about what I would spend. what I would buy like if I bought myself. something nice you know have you started. to think I mean well you got yourself a. house yeah I rented it yeah yeah I. didn't buy yeah but that's nice yeah. that's nice yeah I don't know hot air. balloon or something cool be.

nice those are scary though I'd rather. go fast than get one of those yeah but. if you really Master the art of it I got. a buddy that used to fly one and he can. that would show the. up H you hold on you ever see these. things crash huh dude they come down on. power lines and it's so funny yeah. if you don't know what you're doing yeah. I think you got to get one of those D. yeah pull up some crashes huh you got to. pull up and some of them run on diesel. think huh they catch fire too yeah yeah.

it's scary what's stand in your. four-year-old's bedroom a hot air. balloon. huh oh look at this boy coming in. hot oh some guy in his son H hang on. hang. on hang on. Tater balloon crack. the wind's picked up sometimes if people.

have a really thick Sun they'll name. their nickname is always like a starchy. food you ever noticed that yeah come on. Tater T get it done cake pop that's. yeah yeah get in there pancake batter. they'll call. them it's my son pancake. batter come on batter get in the truck. dude we're going to fly a balloon just. crashed Hang On Pop hang on cake pop.

hang on cake pop cake pop. no dude and you know one of their family. members definitely shot that down. in the distance dude that's also a risk. dude anyone could shoot you down. anonymously dude you can take those. things out you'll never get caught yeah. pull that up man anonymously shoots down. H balloons watch there like 2,000 videos. of that get a Confederate flag air. balloon oh that'd be cool huh yeah let.

it fly get a Target go tough huh yeah go. tough on them see who yeah see who wants. to shoot it down you. dude fly it past like uh like. the uh Bou classic or something every. year get him fired. up but dude I will say this if you hang. one speaker out of it playing do the. stanky leg everybody will let it go. by people will be like. oh all right oh there we go Civil War.

yeah they had them yeah what were the. hot air balloons used during the Civil. War for they would just use it. surveillance oh it's spy plane I think. Napoleon used them first really maybe. not first but he was he was using them. it's like bums with drones like we were. talking about i' Scar the out of. you if the other side had that both the. union and Confederacy used hot air. balloons for reconnaissance to help. determine the location of troops and. artillery this innovation in aerial. Warfare was a Trailblazer for its time. as it took Place 42 years before the. invention of the airplane.

wow but dude imagine that starts. going down near the enemy oh. can't turn it just hang. on hold on cake pop cake pop. No god dude that kind of shit's just. heartbreaking no balloons you. can't get you don't want one of those. but imagine you run outside you been in. one huh yeah I've been in one really. yeah I've been in one uh I was with my.

buddy's dad when we were kids he like. proposed to this lady in one dude and. yeah and she said no and so then we're. like well what the we're that's a. tough rest of the trip yeah and we were. trying not to like act excited cuz we're. in there because he we could tell like. he was bummed out it's tough to be. bummed out on like the ledge of a hot. air like looking away from them. like trying to be sad oh it was sad dude. and that guy's always he's been sad. since then there's a lot of videos of.

him online and he's always listening to. that song um there goes my hero watch. him as he goes just seeing his old self. being like that's the man I used to be. yeah Tiffany was his girlfriend's name. and she's like I don't think so that's. how she said it we're like what the. it's like yeah and it was like 70. more minutes we had to spend up there. yeah long cuz the tour guy I think he. didn't really play know what was going. on so he just kept giving us the tour of.

like oh no yeah. oh it's like that to just makes you. wonder what's going on yeah I think that. people up like when you're. supposed to be happy like a cool like a. hot air balloon or like yeah that kid. jumping off the cruise ship like. having something like that was supposed. to be fun and good get horribly ruined. yeah that kid was from Baton Rouge. Louisiana I don't know if we talked. about that last time we were together. but maybe that kid was good topic. partying and he jumped off and never. seen again check this out yeah but.

the craziest is people were like that's. a shark there's like one little piece of. like water and it just looks like some. white and like definite shark people. make like comments like that online oh. crazy he quick for a shark to munch him. that quick if impossible I feel like. they take their time right well also the. odds of shark is going to be right there. at that moment I do think sharks follow. cruise. ships Serge called off oh that's the. toughest oh that's yeah.

fuckinge oh saying byebye to him oh. that's the worst you got to regret that. you know dude something like that. happened to me man it was when we had a. guy who fell on a basketball court and. died when we were kids and when he fell. I yelled out like Reggie Lewis remember. there was that guy Reggie Lewis that had. Di died no Reggie Lewis look him up if.

you can Reggie. Lewis. uh that's him right there Reginald C. Lewis was an american professional. basketball player of the. NBA Boston Celtics that was it beautiful. man right there and he collapsed on the. court who was there was another guy that. did that too that was like a I think it. was BJ. Armstrong maybe he was real famous um. um Keon Johnson no no no don't just name.

a black guy Johnson no there's some yeah. but there but it happens to people but. yeah this happened to him and so we. thought this guy just falling down. tripped and so I remember yelling that. out Reggie Lewis and then they tried to. revive him and he died oh no I didn't. Jinx him that's insane to say to some. jinxed him dude I can't believe you put. that. on I didn't Jinx him sounds look up if I. jinxed him or. not I don't think you jinxed him yeah.

that's heartbreaking though I'm sorry. that I did that um how's it have you. felt good about moving here now once you. moved here was it kind of like different. or was it different than you thought. like what are some things that were kind. of cool about it I don't know it's I you. know you know when you move I was sad. for like a week oh really yeah I was by. myself it was scary I was used to having. I was used to living in an. Apartments I lived in Philly and New. York the last decade so I was like. there's usually somebody around now now. I was out there by myself I got scared. for a while I was scared really I get.

scared at night noises yeah yeah you. think it's a noise and you just you. farted just waking myself up with. farts the was. that uh yeah I mean I was scared for a. while yeah I would I was emotional I. would cry during movies when I was at at. night by myself oh yeah yeah uh so. that's what you have to look forward to. scary and you cry that's it oh that's. just I think that's just part of the. American condition these days then oh.

you're fine then yeah that was all um. yeah cuz I think I thought I don't know. if I thought Nashville would be a busier. or comedy scene I I I didn't think that. um because they just have one Club it's. like a functioning Club there right it's. like they have a a headliner flies in. every weekend so they they help you as. much as they can but they just don't. have as much space you know um and then. there's not a lot as many other rooms. around the area but here it's like yeah. it feels like you could go like we met a. guy last night done like five spots you. know yeah you can do that here it's like.

wow yeah I mean that's crazy to think. you could do that in a city I there was. never maybe Chicago you could do that in. maybe I don't know New York obviously. you can yeah la la definitely those are. the two yeah but that was yeah I don't. know um but yeah you can do it if you. want yeah. yeah all right this is going well this. is going well um what else we got I'm. trying to think of other uh horrible. death I can think of oh D you what about.

that there was something I was looking. at the other day it was a um pull up. that what's that Death Page on Twitter. where they have a lot of deaths on there. it's an animal I might have even sent it. to you the other day oh history. photographed we were looking at this. picture uh back in the day they had to. hang an elephant oh there you go to read. the C this just to look at the judicial. system in the world right. so this elephant right the hanging of. Mary the elephant also known as. murderous Mary I guess a bad elephant.

was publicly executed for killing her. Handler in 1916 it was meant to be a. warning to other criminal. elephants. so there go I. mean so it just you got to think the. judicial abilities of human beings is. always why but guess if you're another. elephant you got to be.

like yeah I see what's going on here. yeah these mother mean business CZ the. uh I mean the idea though yeah the guy. who was likeing hang that. everyone else would. probably shoot it in the. head behind closed doors we'll just. we'll be done with this elephant like. behind a huge closed. dooring we got to make an example of. this yeah yeah not. this murderous Mary not this if. you seen what she's doing she probably.

did some pretty crazy yeah this Dr. 200 gallons ofing water I uh I had a. friend who's uh a friend of their. mother's was like a big elephant. Advocate like was like she was a rich. lady so she was like save the elephants. oh yeah rich people do that man that was. her cause and then she fin kid hate them. so they save rare animals so then she. was like all right she went to Africa to. like her first trip to meet the. elephants and one of them killed her oh. killed her.

dude and they don't I don't think people. know this about elephant they don't kill. you it's not fun dude they don't it's. they ground you they use their face and. mush you into the ground oh yeah it's. like when you see people do like um the. stone ground uh yeah into the flower and. stuff yeah yeah I just like they're. Artisan chefs elephants are they are. they'll grind you up oh that's. heartbreaking elephant kills woman this. is a different one but yes this is also. incredible damn whoa whoa hold on this.

is awesome is elephant a euphemism for. somebody because let's go back and read. this elephant kills woman and returns to. her funeral elephant kills woman and. returns to her funeral to attack her. corpse. wow o odisha India bizarre animal. stories are heard often Maya meru was. collecting water in ripai village. located in the me b. my Bahan District of odisha India when a.

herd of elephants came her way she tried. to flee but one of them rushed oh that's. heartbreaking. man let me see at the ceremony was taken. place the times video reported that a. herd of elephants appeared from the. force sending villagers running they. left MMO's body behind wow she had a. liquid death. what one of the elephants in reportedly. attacked the woman's Court by picking up. the body and throwing it in the air.

wow thankfully there's a video should I. play it yeah I don't know let's take a. vote in the. room I mean it's all right I'm not. everybody said yes. yeah that's. good I didn't want to do. [Laughter]. it oh man oh this is just after the. aftermath yeah I don't think they I. don't think they were. oh that'd be the worst I think if.

element came in your house that'd be up. there cuz even if you go in another room. it can just come right in there yeah. it's not like it has to use the door you. know that' be so hectic man I mean. especially like at your mom's funeral. yeah you're like there's that. that did it yeah he's. coming back to everybody else up. too. mhm you think he could do a big crime. like that do a big murder I I don't. think I could murder I don't think well. now you think it's just an empty bottle. of Prime on your child's window sill.

well open it up and Bam that's some. homemade lean topped off with a little. mini cache of nerve gas who was that for. dude that's Eric Adam. yeah who's K was that Hunter. Biden's room yeah that's crazy but yeah. that actually was yeah oh what's this. here that's a My Little Pony no that's a. my little fentol stack. [Laughter].

um what else can we talk about dude I. don't know that's about as good as it. gets though hot air balloons yeah. elephants but if you could do a. murder or not man yeah I know God. wouldn't want me to do it that would be. the thing yeah he would be like don't do. it. buddy and I would be like I'm not gonna. and then I would maybe sneak I swear I'm. not going to do. it under the table so God can't see. little greo little Han Solo they should. have tabl that are like God resistant or. whatever like whatever happens under.

here you know. yeah um I remember a girl let me feel. her back one time at the library we kind. of horny children or whatever yeah I. guess she didn't want me touching her. breast or whatever I think maybe I don't. I didn't even know what was going on but. back's good she's like you can feel on. my back back's real good and I just. remember we just feeling her back I'm. going to be a back man now that you. mention it nice huh rubbing a. lady's back it's one big flat long tit. yeah that's all the back is you say it.

yeah you know yeah let me get that flat. let me get small the small of the back. put your hand there you got holy. dud if you touched one the small of her. back and her body her she it felt warmer. there you're like I don't know you know. it f like she was baking cookies in her. butt or something yeah it felt always. warmer there you know what I'm talking. about warm yeah like whoa what am I. doing down here I remember the first. time a girl let me touch a small of her. back and had some hair on it right cuz. her dad was really. tough and I was like I don't care I'll.

pet this girl yeah I don't mind. I will pet this I'm in. love girls sometimes girls have really. hairy butts really yeah I think. naturally girls sometimes have I think. they have to they have to work on that I. don't some of them get like man's ass I. don't think they do dude I don't think. these are unless I'm getting. tricked you're getting tricked by some. of that that ass hairy ass girl. yeah bring something up we have blockers.

on a lot of our stuff but if you can get. around some of it maybe on Twitter can. you are you allowed to show hair I was. looking for a picture but read this top. red I. post my girlfriend has a lot of hair on. her ass how do I approach this great. question let's let's review this do you. have problem is that her is very. hairy this is on ask women by the way. the. subreddit if it bothers you so much you. can't be with her because of it you have. to straight up tell her about it. why is she getting all ratchet all a. suddenly somebody just reported hair.

she's like you got to straight up tell. her about it period honey your hairy. disturbs. me here the actual post but I think your. um my girlfriend is beautiful and she. does a great job of manicuring her lady. bits the problem is that her. they wrote it like that is very hairy. it's kind of a turnoff when I'm down. there a few wouldn't bother me but this. is a lot more than a few. oh how did you all start taking care of.

your nether regions did you read about. it in a magazine or you just do it. naturally how should I approach this. topic with her without getting her upset. start getting those magazines laying. them around yeah when she's taking a. hairy ass you can leave one in the. bathroom e dude hairy butt. ladies you Harry butt I know it's. starting to bother me. again I don't know if I would mind a. little hair like on the hips probably I. just think that actual cheeks if there. were hair on them the crack dude not the.

cheeks like a man's it like an Italian. man's. ass damn dude like a Jewish. Sideburn down there huh yeah getting in. her Jewish tunnels you see them coming. out of tunnels what oh oh the. or bring that up dude Jews it's better. they're getting some bad PR lately and. that's this might be the worst one a guy. came out all right this is I swear to. God I'm not being anti-semitic a dude. Jewish dude coming out of a sore GR in.

New York oh yeah it definely a video of. that and it's a New York synagogue. erupted into chaos Monday night let's. play a bit of it all right that is tough. to address though I know we're moving on. to Jews and tunnels but well well let's. it out then ass let's finish out then. we'll go to this because I think well I. think the tough well some people they. make hair on their bodies to survive. cold weather can you look that up Zach. you know what I'm talking about I think. yeah I think that's what it airs for. yeah so sometimes you don't want to have.

a wife that can't survive if you know. you don't want to put the AC at 6 she. always cold yeah yeah you don't want to. put the AC at 64 one night and then she. she's dead in the. morning you know it's a good tradeoff. would you accept your girl to never. complain about being cold but. she has to have a hairy ass or she. complains every single day now. what if it were like stuffed animal hair. that would be kind of fun that would be. nice that I agree with but I'm telling. you I've seen videos dude these girls. have. Italian man's ass like long hair like.

dude it looks like a dude's ass. pull up something oh no oh my. god well that's more than I've ever seen. but oh wow that's a lot. huh you can't see this video on the. audio but there's just a black girl. watching it with her mouth open making. the same face make yeah oh my God all.

right holy. dude wow I'm telling you dude they have. Greek man's ass wow and what who has. that who has the most hair on their ass. is. it I haven't found a culture I say look. that up and what do you do how do you. approach that you think. Mediterranean how do you approach that. with a woman I don't know how I would. never but you you obviously dealt with. it no and South Asian descent reported.

have a relatively high amount of body. hair Mediterranean Mediterranean Middle. Eastern and South Asian. descent wow yeah I think God I just. because the crazy thing say if you feel. down her butt and then you feel some. hair. there but you have to still be hopeful. for you know I just think yeah what do. you do I don't know how to address my. friend was talking to me about. addressing his he was afraid his.

girlfriend was gaining weight and he was. like so I told her and I was like damn I. would never I would let her get fat and. then resent her and break up with her. also who am I to criticize but you know. you know I think a lot of people do that. a lot of people oh I was even if they're. not gaining weight or whatever I think I. was in I stayed with a girl just because. I hated her so much. once I was like well if if you if I if I. let you go you might find happiness I'm.

going to make sure you're. miserable too is that horrible and I. feel horrible about that but I was young. and I was just that kind of you. know I didn't know how to operate or be. a decent human at all but yeah pull up. that ass again buddy oh. yeah it's the other cheek that gets you. cuz that cheek's already almost. done I love how one of the black girlss. eyes keeps closing more as she watches. more. dude oh that's crazy man God yeah but.

but then I bet here now we'll say this. Shane think about it a long time ago. 1300s fours or whenever early right and. you get a woman and she has hair on her. bet it feels good I bet it does feel. good you. know that's good now if you're a. freak and you start petting it a little. I some of it is how you approach it I. could see that you're like God let me. pet this little hair hair.

butt that's nice twisting it up. a little yeah hey let me get a little in. yank it real hard when you do expected. that's. fun that's fun dude dude I got hair like. on my legs and I've been running a lot. bro and it starts to get tangled up and. I'm like what the heck that's been. pretty challenging do you wish you'd. learned how to manage money in school I. do God I didn't you know I was keeping. up my money and. my dang underpant drawer and all of that. I forgot to cash checks I had to cash.

them and so I had dang 40 checks and the. pizza place I worked at went out of. business and I lost a lot of that money. but it's hard it's hard if you don't. know about money building credit and. that sort of thing well I can tell you. that the build card from. current will make Banking and crediting. a lot easier when you get the build card. from current you can build credit safely. while you bank that's right it's a.

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n.com EO current is a financial. technology company not a bank banking. service provided by choice financial. group member FDIC and cross Riverbank. member FDIC for full terms and. conditions visit current.com or call. you know uh a new year and and a new. beginning people say that kind of stuff.

a lot sometimes you need a new beginning. with yourself you know sometimes I find. my relationship with myself has gotten. kind of stale I don't investigate it I. don't look at it and I don't really kind. of aim to fix some of the things that I. know could help me help me feel better. really better help is an opportunity to. take a better look at yourself via. therapy if you're thinking of starting. therapy give better help a try. it's entirely online designed to be. convenient flexible and suited to your.

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that's better. hp.com Theo but yeah bring up those Jews. again man what were they. doing yeah so I guess NYPD on Monday. busted like a secret meeting they I. guess they had been building secret. tunnels underneath through what the. financial. system I mean this is worst case for the. Jewish people not really not worse they. yeah but not even the worst thing in the. last few but all right this is crazy.

man they do get after it oh they're. crazy look at this one dude yeah they. get after it this one that popped out of. the floor right there poing out of. nowhere and he's D biggie walls look at. that dud you see him don't flip the pews. Brothers oh they it's just hectic man do. you see how comfortable that guy. was walking the plank yeah bro these. people they were fine with this or this. is Orthodox Jewish group man this. incident let me read article so the. incident began Monday afternoon after a. cement truck was sent to the kabad luich.

world headquarters known as the 770 due. to its address in Crown Heights. according to uh Co live the truck was. ordered to fill up an underground tunnel. that had run from the main synagogue to. an now closed building next door the. outlet. reported first reports of the tunnel. surface in late 2023 after a homeowner. had called authorities about a. suspicious noises in his neighborhood. and that's drling isn't it I think I. think of hearing noises under your. house Jewish guys it's just somebody.

listening to modest. Yahoo like hey what's going on you can't. tell anyone you can't be like dude I. swear to God there's Jews under my. house dude I know there's Jews. down there no one's going to believe you. yeah they're like dude you mean you need. to put down the internet Jews. aren't everywhere like that you mean. underwriting your mortgage or what are. you talking about like no they're no. they're in there I hear them. they. whisper however following excavation of. a trench for the project um. simultaneously a construction project.

was in progress to install new Plumbing. in the 770 um however following. excavation the underground tunnel had. been discovered the tunnel had. reportedly been worked on during nights. for an unknown amount of time stretching. the tunnel to a next door building. women's section Ah that's nice yeah meet. me in the tunnel. babe that's good that's crazy dude and. that's orthodox Jew is that Orthodox. Jewish people it appears so yes those.

people are wild man we had a garbage man. on right and from New York and he said. the worst. people that he came across were Orthodox. Jewish people dude New York yeah he said. the kids were come out and tell him to. just go himself and flip him off. dude they look at them getting rowdy. with the they were getting rowdy during. Co I think I heard maybe those tunnels. were so they could continue to go to. synagogue during during Co cuz they they. locked that down right that's what you. know that's what the media is saying. well that right right and by the media.

we mean them so here's the guy coming. out of the grade look the guy coming out. of the great is one of the most. anti-Semitic things I've ever seen in my. life dude oh. wow oh no where is this guy going dude. to get a rebate yeah that's insane. coming out of the great bro they started. pepper spray in him and pepper spray is. not Kosher I don't think look it up. there's going to be some lwuit but no we.

had a go we had a garbage man he said. that for some reason those people were. like kind of the coldest to him what did. he say Zach he he mentioned that the. kids would with his truck and he. hated going there that was the main. thing and he also just said they were. rude and also was is the new year they. throw all their out every year oh. yeah that was part of it too I think so. there's probably some anger from him. because they had to pick up so much. stuff like they do like a cleansing I. guess I gu say like it's part of. tradition to like reset everything when. the new year like throw everything out. yeah by new so like that day of the year. he would they said they would just go up. and down the same street all goes.

against some. stereotypes yeah you know that's true. yeah getting all new stuff man um but. they had this is this they had a group. in I don't know if it was in New York it. was like Orthodox Jewish people they. would move into a neighborhood bring the. value of the neighborhood down and. then um buy up the other places and then. bring it back. up there was some law again it was like. a lawsuit that they. made or something um.

anyway uh it's touchy subject but. there's no denying that there's tunnels. that is funny oh yeah it is there's. nothing we can do about you know we're. not trying to be oh I don't think we're. being bad people or anything because the. yeah these guys popped up out of a. tunnel anybody out of tunnel so. funny it's funny when do. you ever see the video of El Chapo. escaping prison it's great anybody going. in and out of a tunnel is. hilarious he goes into a tunnel like.

behind a toilet he just escapes did you. see the one there's like some guy in his. trailer right and a methed comes up. through just like the vent in the floor. that he has like you know like and it's. like looking for something it's so. startling and the guy's like what in the. are you doing in here somebody. coming out coming out of the floor is. so. scary cuz they're not going to come out. like smiling they're going to come out. holy it's a bunch of Ninja. Turtles dude oh is this it yeah Choo you.

fine the time is right Super Mario is. right. out he's gone dude he's. gone. [Music]. wow you got me you gota make it Mexican. somehow I don't know how to do it um you. get it that's why dude bro how SI how. fun would that be to break out of prison. though awesome how would you do it you.

think you're big no tunnels yeah you get. stuck yeah I think I'm in there I think. I'm stuck dude I think I go to. jail I'm in jail there's no getting out. man yeah I can't get out. laundry basket's too small yeah but. Warden you Big Bossman you look like the. big boss man I mean obviously you're. going to play him in a bio uh biopic. biopic. uh no I think I'm in there how are you. getting out damn God damn.

it God damn it. dude. so and look this goes back to no you. dare fade that you. just zoom in on that big one. the one you already have that's biggest. please if you don't mind let's just get. a gander at this. fella oh Shane I get it get out there. bro that's your hot air balloon to. success right there jump on that thing. oh was that going the wrong way.

I do that all the time so nice if. I'm feeling bad at the at the gym or at. home mostly at home it's time that was. some Brazilian barber shop and they keep. tagging me and really with some kid. that kid was. Brazilian for those you don't know Shane. put like a uh he he he saw this hand. signal what is it it was great uh my. friend Billy sent it to me and then I. sent it to Gabe Davis who plays for the. bills it's just a hand signal on Tik Tok. of a kid funny ass just a chubby kid. doing a funny he was actually I didn't.

realize it it was a barber shop so he. was showing off his fade oh that's what. the next scene is so the first scene is. him. going and then it cuts to him with his. new. haircut it was fun Gabe Davis did it. yeah shout out to the boy Gabriel but. yeah it is a nice thing to do it feels. good what does just doing.

that first off so you hit up Gabe Davis. and he says okay this is crazy I'll do. it how many times did you hit up Gabe. Davis a lot okay I talked to him a lot. but I I didn't think he was actually. ever going to do it g to do it yeah and. you said you got to do this it'll be. good yeah and he was like yeah I'll do. it and I was like I don't know like I. figured the adrenaline of scoring a. touchdown would he'd forget take over. yeah especially that that was nice. play he remembered for me wow what a.

sweet man bro how good did you feel when. he did this I was right here I was so. happy I was so i' I don't it's. probably the happiest I've been in a. long time like jumped off my couch I was. did it oh you got to vomit on somebody's. kid when that happens yeah there's no. kids around I would have I almost went. into the tunnels I went down there and. puked in the tunnels yeah sprayed them. out. yeah what the were those guys doing. those tunnels it's New York too like you.

don't need everything's pretty close. probably just hunting square footage. dude to be honest that's a big. thing like this could be another six. square. feet um that's crazy but that. had to be unbelievable dude I think. there's just something crazy if you can. have an influence on Sports cuz sports. are such like this like it just feels. like such this I guess every man wants. to do do it yeah you know you give. anything to be able to run and catch it.

yeah you know and you just can't you. know can't there's no part of me that. can do. it yeah I wonder how I'd get out of. prison. probably i' first of all I'd go in as a. woman and that's good people like you. ain't no woman that's what. somebody say me. like what Chappelle did that oh. you'd have to punch some woman right out. the gate right Chappelle does that he's. like I'm going to go to jail as a woman. and he's like first day I'm like give me. that fruit cup just his act out.

but a fist up is so. funny but these days you can't say I. guess you're not a woman you know well. here's what I think they should do and I. thought about this a lot like especially. I don't understand why mixed martial. arts doesn't start with a. um a trans. division yeah it'd be awesome yeah. because it's like then you can Champion. these trans Fighters you can let them. Embrace and share what it's like cuz. otherwise you're just kind of hodg.

podging them in you know and then it's a. lot of dudes if they really want to go. play ball they're going to have to go. play ball you can't just you know simp. over to the woman's side yeah you know. and be bringing your hair but. over there to the ladies section. you gotta actually like if they had a. trans Division I would pay I feel like I. would pay $4 extra a month to see the. the trans bouts or you know I feel like. it would be it'd be un. unprecedented it'd be fun yeah it is.

yeah it's I like to see him in the. women's sports you do I yeah some man in. there yeah just. up this is great D but here's. what they they should though on the TV. it should every now and then to say have. an arrow say this is a man they need to. start doing like uh Monday Night. Football intros for every female sport. so you can tell you know what I mean. yeah it's like hi I'm Mary I went to. UCLA.

Frank. Purdue oh yeah oh that's the that's the. one there I wonder he's got 48 points in. the first half yeah he's like Rick. Women's College of. design Wes layan you're like what that. that that. cow that is a hair butt that's a hair. butt people don't talk about that those. are yeah postgame showers with the with.

the god see that would be that is a. reason I think I would go experiment. with transing or whatever because you. get to get in those showers. dude but I bet in some of the sports. it's it's not that rewarding I'm sure in. some of the sports you know you think I. think some of those female locker rooms. I I wouldn't be too excited as much like. if I got into like college volleyball if. I could trick my way into that that'd be. a good shower for them I mean for me it.

would be that's literally a nightmare me. naked in front of a college. volleyball team is a nightmare you'd. have to be so embarrassed dud but you'd. have to get your breast pierced probably. to like at least blend you know cuz some. of those chicks are tough nowadays and. then you'd probably have to draw on a. little more tit or use like a shadowing. cream I think the tit side I'd be okay. but the having just a tiny in there. would probably you know call it long. now we're talking and they're. women you could trick them yeah be like.

oh I guess he has a long. yeah well people have been. tricking PR year that's crazy easy to. it's like Art's husband he bought her. that plane do you know that no he bought. the plane a lot of people don't know. that so yeah I guess that makes sense. what are we doing. here oh man what else can we talk about. dude anything else in the News Zach. yeah you were talking about this earlier. you've brought this up before Consumer.

Reports found widespread presence of. plastics and food oh yeah well dude. that's what they said you know they had. that article we've talked about this. before this says the the nonprofit. consumer group said on Thursday that 84. out of. 85 super supermarket foods and fast. foods that recently tested contain. plasticizers known. as phalates phalates phalates a chemical. used to make PL plastic more durable. I've heard phalates a lot lately or. however you say it phthalates.

yeah I've heard people saying it a lot. but yeah I never understood what it was. well this is one of the issues that say. um it says phthalates and vi v VI Vice. bisphenols can disrupt the production. and regulation of estrogen and other. hormones potentially boosting the risk. of birth defects cancer diabetes. infertility neurodevelopment dis. disorders obesity and other health.

problems bastards got me dude I had too. many fa they got it dude no wonder. they're running off through the tunnels. dude they got us bro it's over bro but. that's when you think about this right. that the stuff that we're eating and if. there's so much contamination just like. in the land in the water that's what's. making like people sick um what else. ADHD uh genetic disorders all kinds of.

stuff like Bobby Kennedy talks about. that about how many things are linked to. it you know that he thinks anyway we. might have got in under the buzzer you. and me were we were the last now all the. kids have it oh dude we were right on. the board I think we both got something. but not the whole thing everybody you. meet has a autistic child now yeah it's. unbelievable yeah you know it's almost. um you know and people have nicknames. here's our this our little ring cam they. call them or something you know like cuz. a lot of them are really like perceptive. you know but they don't really say much.

um yeah that's unbelievable but that's. why I wanted to come out sometimes I. think about what if we made like a. product or something that we knew. wouldn't have that in it like what if we. just said hey we want to sell you this. water yeah and we promise your kid will. not have. autism we promise autism free water. because as a country we would like to. say at the very. least you deserve to have autism free.

water now we're talking now that's a. business although I do think we are. going to need autistic kids oh yeah you. know what I mean yeah when the future is. all just technology and we're going to. cyber war with China we're going. to want those guys yeah we're going to. need them yeah you know what I mean oh. definitely yeah I think well a lot of. the business is now run by like people. that. some people say could have some autism. you know a lot of there's a lot of. speculation that Jeff Bezos has it.

Zuckerberg Bezos musk Zuckerberg. definitely yeah musk um yeah certainly. seems like he has some who else dude. Dennis Allen that coaches the Saints. yeah um who. else I'm not sure who Eric Adams has got. it oh Eric Adam got. something oh that's a that guy. definitely got it huh oh you look peep. through your child's lunchable oh you.

think that's just a small stack of ham. no look under there that's a gram of met. them pamin like damn. Eric there's a party in that kid's room. every time kid is running a ra. that kid lives in Las Vegas dude um do. you think about moving back from here. you think you're settled in you're good. I don't know I don't think I'll live. here forever but yeah. I like it yeah what that's just a big I. don't yeah I I don't know I'll probably.

move home to like outside of Philly wow. yeah eventually yeah yeah I like it up. there the brotherly City huh mhm cly a. brotherly um it depends yeah it depends. how shitty things are in the next 10. years yeah what do you think the next 10. years of life is like in in in in uh. America do you think it gets bad I I. don't know the bums. somebody's got to fix this problem I. don't know what it is which problem the. bums dude oh the bums there's a lot of.

bums yeah I say arm them that's where. I'm at and send them yeah and send them. all towards the big like businesses. that's what I would do. oh is that crazy that's messed up no no. no give them guns tell them not guns I. wouldn't say oh you well even worse like. machetes and no what type of what. type of arms something if they're well. behaved at turns into a. weapon so like yeah like a bow staff. that has maybe a blade on the end but.

they have to put both hands on it and it. can tell if you're being good or not you. test your heart rate if it's too high. you're not getting it yeah yeah know you. need low heart rate yeah Warriors first. of all I don't like using the term bums. okay I like using the. term boots on the ground those are boots. on the ground Heroes of society and. stepdads yes so you talking giving Ninja. Turtle weapons to homeless guys let just.

see what happens oh I'm talking give him. the the Donatello eye uh the eye. um what's it called um rag for your eyes. like a thing that hold your eyes in but. it doesn't it's like a Zoro mask yeah. Zoro mask that would be good and lead. them they're going to need leaders you. could do it you think I could lead the. bums yeah get you a horse horse would be. bit they would respect a horse they're. like the Aztecs you know I mean. just a guy on a horse that be like this.

guy he's a. god somebody rolls up on a horse yeah. definitely yeah I'm just they are. impervious to a lot of damage. horses no the uh well horses but. homeless people yeah they get. walk through tasers well they've been. infected by so much they' battled so. many things we got tased after a show in. uh. streetport and uh and here's the crazy. part I I I I started doing comedy in. Louisiana and so we go to sometimes. Street Port and and afterwards this was. for 15 years ago they'd say hey man. we'll tase you if you want you know the.

cops would come up and tase people in. the bar because there's just not a lot. of like uh NTI yeah so here I am 15. years later shows over we're sitting. around with a couple of officers and one. of them goes um with a couple of. off-duty police people yeah and one of. them goes hey man we'll Tas you if you. want and I was like no way you. guys are still doing that. and they lit us all up we got it. together as a group in locked arms or. whatever like a Harvey Milk kind of.

thing and then they um lit us up how' it. feel it hurt you know it's not as bad as. you would think at all at all it's. definitely a little bit of a surprise. you know it's got to feel weird it feels. like somebody in the like great. beyond pressed a doorbell that. you didn't. know was connected to you you know yeah. it's actually really. yeah but the pain is it's not as painful. it's just as surprising as could.

be it's like extremely surprising they. can go through the tasers they can go. through a lot well they're immune to a. lot of disease yeah well at a certain. point that would be a lot of society too. is you know we'd all be out there. just I don't. know we wouldn't be you'd be immune all. the things because you are still alive. on the streets and you'd want to. probably Strike Back Against the. rich where do when we do this.

okay where do we meet up that's a. question I want to know and that's a big. question I'm trying to think of good. there's good cities for this Austin's a. very good city where do you meet up for. the for the. revolution the mothership dude Sixth. Street that's perfect dude BR half of. our military would overdose okay on. Fireball right before we even.

made it to the first 5G Tower okay yeah. we're there's going to be some attrition. there's G to be some guys going a wall. it's going to be tough keeping the. troops together dude I wouldn't call a. guy who wants to sing karaoke all night. somebody going we're going to six Street. we're taking that out the bum's rising. up on six okay now that if we take six. Street out that would be now that I like. yeah you're going to recruit a lot of um. lot of talented young people you could.

probably get you know some of the Texas. Longhorns maybe oh that'd be good yeah. quen ERS he's staying another year he. joined probably um I thought we were. just recruiting uh homeless people but I. think other people are going to get. jealous when they start to see you doing. well they're like ah I'll do it the. masks and the swords and yeah cuz. sigep is going to be nothing against a. homeless battalion. [Laughter]. okay zette might be number one we might. go down frat row and just yeah dude I.

don't want the boys getting into a. sorority I will say no sority I'll. command them I'll say leave the leave. the Queens alone yeah leave the Queens. alone that is it now if you want to get. into the some of these young fellas Rock. these boys. dude and that's up to you dude if you. want to get into some Sigma. Alpha Epstein over here and see what. these fellas are doing that there that's. yeah that's the OB bomb Army is going to. be tough to control dude but I don't.

think control is a one to turn I know. but they're going to get they're going. to get loose dude they're going to. every Victory they're GNA rape. everybody. dude but turn on each other. right away no they won't Jane yes they. will dude no they won't I've seen them. support each other I've seen I saw uh a. bum hi like living in a sofa like in the. cushion in the bottom part and I saw a.

guy com and Tuck him into bed one night. in the park near my. house you don't see that in America. anymore dude they had some bums by us. and because we live right by a park and. they stole a bunch of high school music. equipment I guess so all night they. would be in the Park I guess. some of them stole the sheet music to. right Soo that's so nice it's 3:00 a.m. and you hear somebody on a flute just. playing it's like um um Love the Way You. Lie by like Eminem and.

Rihanna and people were like shut the. up that's a that's a jam. sesh and marching man dude it's a good. night it's sick but so dude so. the first what do you so okay so you say. you meet up at the comedy Mothership I'm. saying it yeah I think that's a good. location okay that's one somewhere on. Sixth Street okay that's fair you can. get a battalion there you can't say some. it you have to have a location you can't.

you can't have homeless or. semi-homeless people storming a. oh you're talking about ice I thought we. were just meeting I think it would be a. good test to try to get the mothership. because then you got Rogan in there okay. you got his team of security yeah you'd. have probably be the chef you got to. test your might against them. what do you mean good first battle. against who saying send the bums into. the mothership and see who.

winsest hold on dud we're never going to. work there. again this is not a good choice dude all. right all right not the mothership yeah. yeah but no I think you can I will leave. I'm trying to think of where would you. lead your bomb Army you can meet up out. front of it well I think you have to. pick like five or six places in the. Americas to meet up so I think you're. going to have for sure k&a in. Philadelphia that's the street it is. yeah k&a in pH yeah Kensington. Kensington and and what Aly and Aly yeah. you get them you get them in there bro.

crossing the alany that goes all the way. back to the 1912 dude or whenever. sometime around then crossing the yeah. the Del yeah okay that's this is the. Army they're they're encamped. right now oh hell yeah and it says no. one deserves what's brewing in K. Kensington now the tough part is to keep. your army excited you were going to need. um overthe counter meds probably. or under the counter I don't know which. one it is I think I think they're. getting over okay I think over the.

counter LED them there but it's crazy. that the the people who are cuz Society. has led people to believe you know be in. this space you know yeah my bad on. saying we should send the bonds bombs in. to the. Mothership no I think look that'd be a. tough one to get in that's what I'm. saying there's a lot of security there. oh that's a good point that's what I'm. saying it's a good first round you know. what I mean week one yeah I support it. actually I said we send it yeah you. dispatch a unit see how they do yeah and. then we test to see say that's like the. final boss let's see how we can do.

against some crack security and guys. with guns oh yeah you never yeah you're. never going to be able to beat. Little Debbie or Nextel or any. of these Facebook if you can't take out. uh. a do you feel like we could really end. up in our lifetime as heading to a. revolution or some sort of a um like a. place where the where people where it. all topples over you know cuz all it. takes is really I've thought about this.

all it takes is a PO like a couple of. people like at a police like police. stations all it takes a couple people to. be like hey I'm not going to follow the. rules anymore yeah and once and then. other people like I'm not gonna if this. guy and then it's just nobody's because. we're kind of getting there it feels. like you know feel like kind of people. just kind of are like if nobody's going. to follow the rules then why do. everybody's kind of getting there it. feels like sometimes Maybe I'm. Wrong you know maybe I'm just making. exciting for the conversation I don't.

know yeah I don't know how wrong you are. maybe people are out there not following. rules yeah yeah I I don't know if that's. going to start a revolution but but at a. certain point if enough people say okay. I'm not going to drive within the lines. right yeah I'm not going to follow the. speed limit it's almost just like that. like every now and then like but that. that has immediate consequences for. whoever is doing it they're going to. crash usually you know but if enough. people were like well it I'm not. waiting cuz there a there's an emergency. up there I'm not going to wait for an. hour I'm just going to go do what I want. but it's just that whole that attitude.

if I'm just going to do and then other. countries do that yeah yeah yeah yeah. you go in the traffic jams and. there like in India you know you ever. watch that oh they just do yeah people. yeah and they're doing all. right yeah you just wonder what's going. to happen you know yeah. um what else can we talk about we talked. about all I I feel like if we what's. going on with you you what's going with. me man not too much dude what's going.

on uh yeah thinking about touring and. just how to do it you know yeah that's. been something I was thinking about. uh yeah I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking about that a lot like. do I want to go spin like some people do. a big tour you know and I don't like and. they go to the big cities and stuff like. that but I would almost rather do like a. threeyear tour and go as I want that's. kind of what I'm doing yeah and just. make it as you want to do it yeah it.

just feels like more manageable to me. and uh yeah so that I think I've been. thinking about that. um what else I've been thinking about. getting building like a halfway house or. something like that that'd be nice yeah. it'd be pretty cool yeah and then those. people could be in the military those. are our officers dude they are that's. our officer training school. yeah dude definitely so I mean honestly. that's something I've been thinking a. lot about what else on a personal like.

on a personal side not much dude. supposed to go to iasa really yeah in a. couple. days in a couple days are you going to. South America where you going no it's. just right off it's right off it's right. it's like right off the interstate in. La they're doing iasa oh you can smell. it yeah Ian there's a popey like. probably no joke 600 yards away that's. kind of be so nice well twice a day I. guess they do the biscuit bakes or. whatever smelling that oh oh no.

it's not you're not like it's not fun. high I've heard yeah what's have you. done it before God is crawling in and. out of your wieners like it's just a lot. it feels like a lot it feels like you're. just like in therapy for like to. like like what does it feel like you. know like say if somebody was playing. basket you were playing basketball in an. attic of a house right it would feel. kind of weird maybe because you're like. yeah the floor feels like oh it's a but. if. this feels like you're playing like. basketball like in the like in a like on. the first level like it's just like that.

don't make any sense but it feels like. um I don't know it's just intense you've. done it yeah and it did you feel like it. went well when you got done yeah it's. just crazy yeah I mean it's like God. shows up and you're sitting. there with him you know but it feels. really real it's not like you're. up like he God you know let me see that. you know I took like a ton of. mushrooms once and not that that's the. same as I. I did reach the like I'm not. here anymore I'm see I'm just fully. seeing things yeah yeah yeah I didn't I.

came out of it I was like I'm I'm gonna. be better and then that wore off. I'm back back to the exact same guy so. that's the thing I think I wanted to see. yeah I just wanted to wear off it's been. like a year and a half since I did it. yeah so I've been thinking about that. um yeah so what yeah I've been thinking. about that I don't know sometimes I. think about maybe moving or getting a. also living somewhere else I think it's. fun to spend time down here Austin is. cool a is fun you can do standup it's a.

beautiful city yeah it's a nice city. it's a fun city yeah there's a lot of. neat stuff yeah there's a lot of neat. stuff I think so that's been pretty cool. just thinking about it you know even. coming to seeing like your house it's. like oh okay this is what it would be. like to live here this seems like I. could do this you know. um what else man I don't know. I don't know I think it's just yeah. thinking about like who would be fun to. talk to on. podcasts stuff like that just the normal.

stuff yeah yeah I don't I'm not doing. anything I don't know how to answer that. either it's tough who would be fun to. talk to no I mean just like what what's. going on yeah I don't know just I don't. know anything you can think of Zach that. you notice from an outsider's. perspective about you yeah sometimes I'm. just so in my own life you know you. don't know what's going. on um. trying to get new interesting guests for. the Pod and then yeah we trying to get a. carnival worker yeah we're trying to get. a Carney we thought about Gypsy Rose.

what did i' I've heard a lot about Gypsy. what did Gypsy Rose do uh she convinced. she got a boyfriend to kill her mother. like arranged it yeah and it's not funny. dude I'm talking to myself because I. just laughed but um yeah she and her. boyfriend killed the. mom cuz the mom made her pretend that. she was like mentally challenged and. stuff in a wheelchair and physically. handicapped the mom had Munch house by. proxy so it was tricking her into. thinking she was sick and had all these. ailments I think I've heard of this from.

a long time ago yeah there's like a TV. series about it there's been a lot of. information about it but she's also from. Louisiana so I was like I wonder if it'd. be interesed to talk with her and just. see like what what her like what her. life has been like but I know she did. another podcast and I don't know if it's. you know stuff like that's supposed to. happen then it'll just happen and that's. the mom and she just kept making she. just yeah she made her pretend she was. in a wheelchair and dress up like a. little clown and stuff like that um and.

it feels like self-defense at that point. yeah I think that's what they yeah and. her boyfriend I think she like met a guy. somewhere and his name yeah and they. made love somewhere. too he's still in jail this guy's still. in jail yeah that guy should be in jail. he should he should be in jail he looks. like he's grow he's growing his beard. out just so he can eat it yeah that's. that's a kind of look that he has um so. yeah anyway yeah that's that that's her. but we tried to get a carnival worker.

and what problem did we run into the. issue we're running into with carne's is. that a lot of working baby working on. the weekend like usual yeah a lot of the. uh the carnival industry said that like. they're working dude there's no days off. oh dude but still it's got to be a fun. life keep it praying at night out. thought all those little fish stay alive. so you can make the next day those fish. must how many fish are those guys going. through those things must be dying so.

much and then if they die probably. making a little little bitty like. fillets with them yeah they probably. Munch those oh definitely snacking on. those. yeah but that's uh so we've been. looking for a carnivore because the. problem with carniv Carnival people is. car uh the Carnival's gone awall. man they don't have any animals anymore. first of all it's a lot of virtual. and like get guys like pretending to be. animals which you can get in. anywhere you can get that in Miami or. Bourbon Street yeah um and then it's.

very I guess more Disney on Ice or. something you can't find any of the good. you know like I remember. there was a guy I was we used to live by. the fair that would come through town. right so if you went the day early for. it open for a quarter you could do a. ride right and you were basically. practicing you were people would. disappear people would go. missing people would get wied up you. know your chicks would get wied.

up by a lot of these Carnival workers. and everything but um you could go. practice you know and like I remember. one time I was getting off of a ride and. I guess I grabbed two like rails at the. same time and it completed a. circuit and so I couldn't I was just. like this you know and this black guy I. remember goes get on out of here you and. he called me the N word he put my foot. he put put his foot on my back and K. thank God he kicked me he saved you yeah. so thank God dud so yeah you shouldn't.

you shouldn't getting electrocuted is so. funny oh well it's surprising it. happened to my cousin he was laying he. he was fixing a like the VCR laying on. the floor mhm and he's a big guy he's. big yeah and he was fixing and he was. laying on a wire I guess that was. exposed yeah and while he was fixing it. he just stopped and was. like and he's huge we were all like the. you doing get up like no one was. like he's dying everyone was like what. the dude stop yeah that's a s.

that's one of the worst things that. happens when people are get electrocuted. is people like call them a lot. or like quit doing all that gay. people say stuff like that you're like. shaking yeah what are you shaking for. yeah this ain't a time to laugh Rodney. then a woman screams and then you. realize it's. serious I just remember unless you don't. have any women in your house without. women they are they are an alarm. they're like dogs yeah they scream the. second something anything is happening.

they know something's going scream they. do know something's going on that's a. great Point men are just like hey what. the going on women screaming. during like a fight yeah it's hot it. hurts I don't like un seeing no I'm just. say unate getting your ass beat and. having your girl scream while it's. happening just whoever's beating you up. is terrorizing your whole family unit. like it's. yeah that's the crazy thing about. watching fight videos is when the girl. like is just yelling on the side no stop.

it you'd almost you'd almost rather have. your girl go sit in the car or now what. if your girl tazed the dude and. then started that would be awesome it. started yelling just like biggie lyrics. at him as depends which lyrics but. actually at that point if you're using a. taser in the middle of a fight that's. that feels like a pass yeah you could. say all the lyrics yeah definitely I. think you know yeah. yeah I think having your girl knowing. your girl is taser ready is hype. women screaming it bothers me.

during basketball games oh yeah they. scream football games is you know they. get excited and scream so loud oh it's. ridiculous my buddy took me to watch his. son play football right and there's this. band of women behind us okay one of them. has a megaphone that doesn't it. just makes them sound like Stephen. Hawking right so it's just some. lady ah yeah yeah like are you. it's like a $9 megaphone it's like are. you kidding me and she's just.

yelling at just they're all yelling at. the refs dude you know yeah yelling at. refs at kids games is nice cuz. that guy's a loser oh yeah that. gu you know yeah it's so. mean you think that guy wants to have. control in the community though yeah he. like he's like all right I got to ref. this seventh grade football game. today and then there's some parent like. you piece of yeah you. that was a hold you. dumbass yeah that was a ho get your ass.

out your ass somebody all yelling follow. you to the parking lot and beat your. ass dude they're these guys have. to like run to their cars after Middle. School football games for $112 an hour. the guy has to. almost die in his. community just cuz he wants to. work on the weekend Sprint dude and that. dumb outfit you got to take your. hat off yeah this is it right.

here leag look how drunk all these dudes. are these dudes are fake. unbelievable dude that is nice though. getting wrecked and going and. coaching a game yeah uming a game umping. a game face have you done it no I. haven't I have not you seem like you. would be able to do it I coached uh I. coached little uh footb did you. really yeah with really really little. OHP we called it yeah e8th grade. we called it League yeah some.

people used to call it that and some. people still do call it that I wonder. they still do is there a uh is there an. actual little person Football League or. not it's got to be let's bring that up. they're doing all types of stuff well. you know what always gets me every year. is that video of the blonde guy playing. football that comes up blind child. playing football it's so. funny it's funny because it's uh you. know what I mean it's not fun I'm not. laughing at the it's not funny because. the guy's bun it's funny because it just. goes exactly how you think it's going to.

go yeah and the reporter pretends this. is what's funny about it is the reporter. is what makes it ridiculous CU. they're like hey this makes perfect. normal sense and safety for this guy and. then they watch the play and pretend. like it's not. insane little people versus giant people. this is soccer I don't see any like. American Football the Giants the Giants. that's just a regular fat guy I can be.

one of the Giants God damn. it oh little people are way better at. soccer three looks good put his down oh. you kick me. little kids are the little. guys are gonna these dudes up. that's a foul that's yellow oh yeah big. sheret big dudes always have n. names like sheret look at that oh she's. pissed huh. it's a good wall though they're going to. block that free Kick the fat guy wall.

yeah it's unfair yeah you talking. about. yes yeah can we uh bring it up the news. are just play the news. story because it's just Dylan Coler and. God bless him we should call him. actually let's get him on on a solo. episode Zach him and Chase Matthews the. guy that uh in the wig what that. guy do. the guy that vomited on the girl on the. baby no don't get them together you mean. separate episodes separate epis talk.

about I just want to talk to him I want. to see what what does this guy think. about it he's got to think it's. insane and play because he's doing all. of this blind you know how I can't see. and a lot of people think that I that a. blind person can't play football that's. true this courageous youngster has. proven those people wrong. [Music]. bro imagine though this is wild though. if he is blind then he could play a.

total different defense you can't even. expect because you expect a normal. defense out you know you expect certain. lanes and this like that that. guy might leave the field yeah you know. where he's going that game is. longer but if he hits you oh that game's. longer than 100 yards he is going to. there is something that is true about. this is if he does hit you he is going. to run right through you which is how. you're supposed to like if you want to. drill someone good point run. right through them that's a great Point.

you're going to hit him really. hard you couldn't penalize him for uh. some of those like poaching or whatever. they get those penalties you know yeah. um yeah I would love to see what this. guy's up to and how what it was like for. him dude How brave to run when you're. blind like you know just run as fast as. you can when you're blind yeah. that's Brave dude that's the. kind of we need in this country. mean we have a bunch of meth. addicts arming themselves outside of a. T-Mobile because we told them to.

dude you told him I didn't you told. him why did you say that D you're on the. horse I'm never going to get on a horse. yeah you are buddy we'll get you there. yeah any other news act you think we. covered everything Shane lives in Austin. now yeah um we had one other video we. were watching like that. oh yeah and this is racial stuff that's. go this is let's let's let's start it up.

hold on right. so this. is so one of the problems that's. happening in society is people can't. afford Ubers anymore and so here this is. this happened I think in um this looks. like New Hampshire it jumps on my. car he's just hitching a rock dude it's. right in front of my. car get off oh no what are you doing.

there's a white guy hanging he's on the. front of a black guy's car while the. black guy's driving around look like. Pittsburgh he's still on my car. get the off my car oh don't go. sideways bro. oh dude it's unbelievable the guy didn't. just stop and say hey. senior citizen who is 60 years older. than me who may be having an episode.

face is so funny hey hey buddy why did. you get off my car instead the. guy's listening to Nicki Minaj. or young Dolph and he's just like hey. this is crazy Trump Hat's so good on. that this is crazy Trump hat so nice. this guy's on my core like he's a. like it's a butterfly or. something. that is how I treat bugs on my car I'm. like I'll slow down see if he gets off.

dude you guys have got a bug on. a car it's a this guy is 72. years. old is holding on to the front of this. guy's. car and we don't know. why this is that Biden man that. people are talking. about and this is people on meds this is. people not having any hope probably. I mean you run out of hope you're G to. have to get on someone's car that's what. I'm saying that's step two you look. around you go there's no hope well yeah.

and Ubers at a a certain point it's just. all it's just going to be a bunch of. Lords in their castles yeah the rest of. us will be all ubering each. other they' be only job but everybody's. ubering so nobody is a passenger. nobody's breaking we're all just. breaking even on this totally so you're. literally going to have people holding. each other at gun. to be their. passenger oh man dude imagine if that.

was your relative that you just saw that. video you're like man he had a. manic episode he jumped on a dude's. car went for a spin just went around the. block God wants us to watch it one more. time yeah it's great I love seeing his. on my. I wish I had a view of his. feet oh get.

[Laughter]. off he said get off but he didn't get. him time he was getting off. D just saying get off my car at 20 miles. an. hour he goes for the exit it's a DOL. exit yeah he tried to take the Orthodox. tunnel off to the side. they wouldn't let him dud seeing. that guy roll in the street hey let's. find out who that is and let's also get.

him on the next solo those three guys I. want to know dillian Collier the guy. Jordan Matthews Chase Matthews I think. was his name pukan yeah the guy that ped. on the baby girl and you know that guy. was hoping nobody brought that. up oh man he was 21 shitfaced at a. baseball game game ah he's never Liv in. that town puked on a little kid. yeah wonder what the kids doing now too.

it'd be crazy to see if that influenced. him somehow you know if he works with. bulimia or. something or you know to prevent anybody. from sophal cancer maybe yeah um what. else we got Zach anything else how long. have we been in here a while about two. hours oh wow really oh okay that's. good um Matt and Shane's secret podcast. yes with Matt mcoser Shane Gillis. um Matt's got to come on next time with. you man had so much fun on you guys'. show you would you do it without me just.

Matt you guys would get along very well. okay yeah all right got similar Vibes. well I just want to make sure we have. our meeting of the generals that are. going to be working for us mosar will be. good Silver Fox bear is a very general. name yes very. oh mccusker's Last Stand he's going to. get bum going to turn on him and stab. but still dude mccusker's last. stand and he we'll never forget.

when he Commander those three. T-Mobile outlets in the middle of the. night yeah little Best Buy. yeah little Best. Buy yeah he uh this has been tried. before though yeah not necessarily uh. bumps but just saying like they're down. trout and they're going to rise up if I. let uh J uh John Brown did that did he. really yeah that's how he sparked the. Civil War in. America he was like I'm going to start a. he thought rightfully so that slavery.

was uh he was very religious and he was. like this is the gravest sin John Brown. ra on Harper Fair yeah he's like if I go. take the Armory at Harper's Ferry all. the slaves from all the area are going. to join us wow and not many of them did. really almost none so they let they let. him down or they were afraid I don't. know he was a little nut so they were. proba like that's not the guy to do it. and he's a white guy or black guy he was. a honky but his last name was brown. yes so they give him some of that credit.

he gets a lot he gets a lot of credit in. the black community though that's a. great yeah I mean he he was the. man he started so he really inspired so. he actually made a physical motion to. say hey let's do this we got to get rid. of slavery right wow and they hung him. you got to marry the elephant. treatment. oh that's heartbreaking where's he. where's he buried. at he's from Kansas or some sh yeah wow. so he really was trying his best he just. out in Kansas he might and who who hung.

him the whites yeah the honky got him. God he's buried in the uh mountains in. New York how do you pronounce this I. don't know how to pronounce. that yeah there we go everyone had it he. uh yeah he's he was a beast he was. getting after though before he did that. he was he was killing all the southern. symp slave owners sympathizers yeah in. Kansas he was him and his sons were. maching people oh yeah wow pretty good.

guy though be interesting if we could do. a Ouija board or something and talk with. some of those guys you know yeah be. pretty cool but I don't know who does. that kind of work seaner or whatever. that would be a good episode with a SE. get a medium in here get like. somebody that's like I'm going to. contact the dead you think so I think. that'd be a great episode you got to. pick out some cool dead they can't be. like oh this is some gu RI hey we got to. we just got a call from Richard in uh. outside of Toledo people calling into a.

radio. show hi M on the air. you're not allowed to swear here. that' be hilarious dude he just had a. open Seance line like hey this is a. robber TR long time listener dude I've. been listening to you guys for eternity. shit's all. right um welcome to town man are are you. are you toring this year what else is. going on just so people know yeah I'm. toring okay yeah I'm I I don't know when. this comes out but I'm going to announce. uh I'm doing.

Netflix is a joke I'm doing the Greek. Theater and the Kia Forum in May you're. doing the Forum too I'm doing the Forum. in La so 11,000 seats hopefully that. sells some tickets oh my gosh I think. Louis said that's his favorite place to. go do a show really yeah I think I would. like maybe try that this year that's so. exciting dude wow so that be exciting. I'll be nervous that' be your biggest. show ever that'll be the biggest yeah. that's exciting have you done any. outdoor Festival shows I did a bunch. with crusher oh yeah they were fun some.

of those looked amazing like some of. those some of those were really amazing. do you like doing the outdoor when we. did one in Edmonton it was tough um it. was fun it's just different yeah I don't. know I've only ever done it opening for. Bert so I don't know how how it'll do. like a long set might be hard I have no. idea did you feel like it was fine like. just how you did I was doing like 15 20. minutes so I was like all right right. let's just clock in get this done this. is great sometimes it was good sometimes. I felt like I sucked cuz you can't tell. cuz it was like a minor league baseball.

field mhm you know the laughs yeah and. it was the sun was up a lot of the time. oh so you could see everyone not you. know you could see everyone getting up. getting drinks yeah yeah yeah some. places you do it and some people don't. even know I remember I taped a uh a. comedy special in New Orleans and people. had never some people had never seen. Live Comedy didn't even know people were. yelling people thought it was like a. sporting event were yelling defense. during it some lady was at the top just. beating on the back wall just going. defense defense you getting fired up it.

was just crazy like what is. going on here yeah you get yeah big. crowd like that they can start getting. wild yeah um what's been one of the. toughest things about getting more. popular you've just had such a crazy I. mean you've you did it somehow you made. it I mean I know how but it's just like. or you know you've just gotten you've. got popular yeah yeah a lot of it's uh. on Tik Tok and I don't I don't even. have a Tik Tok I don't like Clips yeah.

yeah I don't personally I don't like. them I don't care if other people do. them but it's funny CU like young people. will see me and be like you're the Tik. Tock guy yeah I'm like damn I got to get. on Tik Tok I got to see what's going on. that was a big thing was just Clips uh. what the hardest part about it is that. what you're saying yeah is there. something that's been interesting about. it I mean it's just an interesting thing. that happens in somebody's life when. they get more po you know it's like just. inter yeah you've done it it's just. weird I don't know how to yeah maybe. it's justd feels weird yeah I was just. curious feel surreal I don't know. there's nothing something you thought.

about it or noticed about it or anything. that was tough about it or anything I I. got to take pictures a lot yeah which. that's not always great and you're tall. You Can't Hide yeah and I'm yeah I don't. like the way I look a lot of the times. so I have to take pi and I have like a. sometimes a very embarrassing smile just. yeah there's so many pictures with my. arms up like there's so many pictures. there's so many pictures of me. like well nice to meet you guys thanks. don't look him up don't bring.

him up oh there's one with you and Trump. dude that's sick we talked about that. last time there yeah we talked about. that last time oh yeah you I don't think. I was sitting I was sitting further away. from you guys though yeah you were you. you went to like the first one Trump. ever came to I think that was fun yeah. that was fun you might be yeah you were. directly behind there I know exactly. where you were that's actually Max. Crosby's arm is it really guy with the. chain right there yeah. wow Max Crosby is a cool guy yeah I. think that was him his brother too I.

don't know what his brother what's his. brother's name miles miles I met miles. too one time wonder if it's cool if. you're Brothers in the NFL I bet that's. awesome it's got to be awesome cuz you. don't have to do it yeah yeah you get to. do momes brother just do. Tik toks everyone's like shut the. up yeah you just get to do Tik toks and. meet guys bother everybody yeah. yeah yeah you just get to do Tik toks. and just buy sweaters and and your. brother's out there killing it. that's got to be nice that's awesome. yeah watch like if your brother was.

Patrick Mahomes it's cool to watch oh it. would be so just watch your brother be. the best player in the world dude you'd. have to be like how the especially. if you knew your brother and you're like. are you k i remember I caught. you jacking off like a hundred times now. you're in the Super Bowl and. then I no look passing yeah and then I. left you alone for two seconds and came. back in the room okay what are you doing. like a good parent should dude all right. man we'll see you guys in either Buffalo. or in Austin outside of the comedy B if.

hits the fan because you have to. recognize at some point people will. think in their head I've thought about. this where do we all go when when. it gets because all it takes is that. one that one night you know yeah. I'm gonna try to get a hold of. Rogan that's the guy right I agree and I. spoke with him about this one time and. he I think decided he will be offshore. in a vote looking back at America I. think so and that's what a lot of people. be doing be vigilant the second. pops off I got to get over there cuz a.

lot of people are going to rush it's. going to be like Noah's Arc oh yeah. people are going to be like save us yeah. there's going to be two of like every. type of person comic yeah me and Tim. Dylan walking hand in hand all right two. fat whites you guys are. in me and Tig. nataro ambiguous guys you guys are. in oh that'd be sick dude two people. with like uh those little things yeah. Jeff dham and. uh doesn't uh dude imagine being the.

other guy that's not Jeff Dunham people. are always like hey are you Jeff Dunham. he's like no no I was doing this before. him that. [Laughter]. um Shane Gillis man. congrats dude congrats on just being. funny and for um and I'm sorry you. didn't win the Golden Globe and you. should have I thought oh thanks I uh. yeah thought you should have been up for. it thanks I appreciate that um and um. yeah you guys can find him on tour dude. the Forum you're doing the Forum.

and the Greek yeah in the same week. hopefully I sell some tickets yeah I'm. not my it's my uh my agent your agent oh. yeah yeah yeah we did the Greek they're. like let's dude you can do the form yeah. like it's gonna sell I like oh man you. sure it's going to sell I'll do same. week as the Greek yeah that's I've. never done La though so that's good that. helps yeah that's awesome well you'll. definitely do it man and there's some. air conditioning yeah now that. the podcast is wrapping up bring it back. down to. 75 um thanks Shane for coming in man I.

appreciate it man thank you yeah talk to. you later. [Music]. brother I'm falling like these leaves I. must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel. in my. bones it's going.