Shane Gillis | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #391
uh we also want to just let you know. that one of the cameras on this episode. was a touch out of focus so we just want. to let you know that um don't think it's. something wrong with your Optics uh. fortunately it was the camera on me and. uh you still get to see Shane Gillis. Crystal Clear enjoy the show we can do. it you can do it and we can do it. together if we want um I'm doing some. shows and that is uh May 7th I will be. in Los Angeles we added a show uh right. in Los Angel.
here for the um Netflix is a joke. Festival that's at the wilt turn. Albuquerque May 18th Midland May 19th in. Texas laach Texas May 20 Dallas Texas. May 21 and a show has been added there. and selling well almost sold out thank. you guys so much for that support. Savannah Georgia June 2nd Augusta. Georgia June 3rd Montgomery Alabama June. 4th Columbus Georgia junee 5th if you.
have friends over there in Georgia you. know people that have that love Georgia. you tell them about it uh Hollywood. Florida June 23rd Fort Meers Florida. June 24th Daytona Beach and Lakeland. June 25th and. 26th um grab your tickets at theovon. docomo that is the safest and best place. to get them thank you guys so much in. advance uh for your support and I look. forward to seeing you on the return of.
the rat tour today's guest is a very. talented young man and he's uh a great. um comedy man and he uh so happy he's. here today and uh he has his own podcast. called Matt and Shane's secret podcast. he has his special live in Austin uh. which has over four million views on. YouTube uh happy to have him return uh. to this past weekend uh my friend Mr. Shane.
[Music]. [Music]. I'll sit and tell you my. stories. sh. me and I will find a song I will s just. me. [Applause].
um Shane Gillis man your life you're. you're getting busy man I am busy yeah I. mean you're getting busy man do you do. do do things start feeling a little bit. different because I feel like you you're. kind of becoming like the guy you know. thanks man like the handsome Tim dyl I. am I was going to say yeah the second. part had to be I was the hand I was like. wait. what uh like that Tom celic meets Tim. like a yeah.
yeah a little more yeah uh I don't know. I don't how did you feel when it. happened for you when it was when the. the come up CU it makes me uncomfortable. yeah that's an interesting question man. I um I don't think you know that it's. really happening to like it's. happening but it's I think the funny. thing is more of it's happening for. other people in some ways because. they're all watching it yes but um the. way you the way that I noticed it. started to seem for me was like people.
would kind of stop me and I was like oh. this is interesting like. yeah I don't know if I'm going to be. able to not be seen in some types. sometimes now like in some ways maybe. and then and then people started coming. to the shows and that was the part. that's it yeah yeah like uh occasionally. like occasionally I'll get a pop on an. intro and I'll be like oh [ __ ] like this. is new this is crazy that feels good oh. yes oh that you know what that's. actually EX first time yeah first time I.
got one I did a guest spot it was right. after I did Rogan the first time I did a. guest spot on Tim Dylan's show yeah and. I it was like a surprise guess and I got. a pop and I was like what the [ __ ]. people are excited yes this is good cuz. the next night I went I went back to. Philly and I was I did a spot on D. Stefano show in Philly which is where. I'm from and I was like I'm gonna get. another pop this be great dude like we. got a guest guest spot for you uh Shane. Gillis I walked out and it was like I. was like damn I thought I had something.
going and it was just you clapping. behind your back I just like this guy's. great yeah dude that's when it is I. think that's when it is you know what. that's really the perfect thing it's. like yeah it's like when you're going on. stage and you're like oh my gosh there's. people like they'll say something you've. said before they'll yell out a term um. dude we were doing a storytelling show. last night and well two weeks ago and I. uh oh cuz oh you were do was that last. night that was at the at the Nashville. Comedy Festival at the wild what is it.
Wild West Comedy Fest no I think it's. just Nashville Comedy Festival at. Nashville yeah at Nashville Comedy. Festival it was at the Ryman and it was. a storytelling show it was Ari's show. and like two seconds into my set cuz I. was like opening with some material I. said two words I was like I like history. and this guy is like do a story I was. like dude you knew two words of my. material that's new you psycho then he. came up after he looked like hell he was. like that was me that yelled at I was. like you ruined yeah don't give me a. high five yeah why do these people.
there's always that guy like hey I was. the guy that ruined I was one who. [ __ ] yelled and ruined your [ __ ]. remember me there's always that urchin. he's like hey he like slides up it's. it's almost like this it's like uh it's. always some real I wish you could see. this dude he looked like he looked like. a like a minor he looked like a 49er oh. yeah like beard like hey I came up his. bro were fully decked out in Titans gear. everything Titans yeah C dude it was. crazy yeah Titan K good Bros though for. real good Bros definitely a Titans bet a. tany hill condom on dude I bet I.
bet you know Rob bonus hit a tree not. far from here he used to be a field goal. kicker yeah and he hit the upright Rob. my bonus yeah and he hit a tree did he. how's he doing he he's he's gone he's in. heaven he died from a hitting a tree he. got Heaven out yeah that'll do it he hit. that wide right bro he hit the damn it's. yeah it's kind of a terrible it's like a. lore around the Nashville area it's lore. it's where Rob Baron to the tree yeah.
and they even have his initials on the. tree too really still um what was I. going to say oh yeah dude so it's yeah. you're you're you're you're just this is. kind of it you know where you get busy. and then you can sell tickets and I. think that's the amazing thing is that. people want to come see you it's like. cuz you it's almost weird with comedy. you get going in it and you're just. doing it and it becomes just about the. comedy and then you realize wow people. want to come see me yeah like there's.
something about me that they sometimes. it's not the comedy I think especially. with podcasters and um and especially. with your story kind of like being the. like uh you know there's a whole [ __ ]. SNL type of energy out there in the. world anyway and I think that you add. that with your hu your you know just. being insanely funny and then it's like. oh I want to go see this guy and then. people with podcast they like the person. they want to see the person yeah it's. it's yeah it's crazy yeah it happened.
pretty quick yeah so like because no. tickets forever and then all a sudden. people want to show up and like ah like. they yell your dad's name out you're. like all right take it easy Ronnie son. chill chill chill that's Ronnie son I'm. trying to do standup yeah this isn't the. podcast yeah it's fun though do you. think sometimes people don't know when. they come if it's going to be like the. podcast or if it's different I I I find. that sometimes I find that some people. are like Oh I thought there sometimes. after the show that somebody's like man. I thought it was going to be like the. podcast you know and I almost feel bad.
I'm like dang you know yeah sorry yeah I. wish I could make it it's not as good. stand up Podcast are funny stand up is. me doing something yeah like doing my. little art yeah but man yeah congrats on. everything dude it's awesome it's funny. cuz I even look at you and I even get. like just gel I'm like oh the cuz the. funnest thing is when you when people. are getting to like getting to know you. you know and I mean obviously I still. have a ton of people getting to know me. I'm not saying I've made it or nothing.
but you could you could say that yeah. like you stay busy enough you know but. the funnest part is yeah when people are. like oh Shane Gil you're to Shan Gillis. I wonder if that's cuz that's how I feel. about like my buddies some of my friends. are still doing like open mics and. hanging out in Philly and I'm like Dam. that was the best oh yeah like now I. wonder if you're just having the same. thing where you're like no the best was. when it started yeah oh yeah CU if this. is the best I'm going to be sad yeah. this cuz if this only gets worse for me. I'm I'm already pretty bummed out yeah. yeah that's true I'm not doing great.
that that's that could be something that. could be something so dude so cuz you. grew up in the in Pennsylvania man you. grew up out and were you like an Amish. country did you ever have any. interaction with the Amish there's a lot. of Amish around D yeah Lancaster that's. I I was like 30 40 minutes west of Amish. country but they're around dude did you. ever get approached by him because I. could see you being like I definitely if. I'm Amish and I'm a you know I don't. want to say a milk drinker but if I'm. somebody that's close to that they knew. I was getting milk they saw me that.
guy's Ching milk obviously like uh that. guy's 8% right there yeah they uh no but. you'll see them we used to yell at them. when we were kids what would yall say be. like nice [ __ ] horse. dumbass get a car you [ __ ] idiot he. drive past them it was fun now I look. back on him like that's very. inappropriate the crazy part is people. that yell out like que and you're like. not these aren gay people still that's I.
mean they're gay for woodw homophobic. and I don't stand for it yeah that's. funny driving by an Amish dude in a. buggy be like you [ __ ] homo he's got. to be like what the [ __ ] oh dude a. couple black dudes called me the nword a. couple months ago Dude and it was like. that kind of brightens your day a little. I felt you know I was like you promise. you know I don't know what to say that's. so cool thank you guys like say it again. man it's cool when you guys did we like. it I remember when I was young somebody.
was throwing me and my buddy were. fishing it was a black friend of mine. who's I think in jail for murder now man. my friend Deon but he. um he uh were fishing in some white some. racist white dude or some somebody. racist who looked white from where we. were was up on these train tracks starts. throwing rocks at us really and yelling. the nword right and so I jump out and. I'm like not me dude you know what I'm. saying like at least [ __ ] yeah don't. get me you're getting the wrong guy. you're hit me with a rock but that [ __ ].
was wild dude the Amish every once in a. while Get Smoked by like trucks uh-uh. dude they're driving horse horse and. Buggies the truck truck driver will go. wide right and just splatter them Rob. horses and [ __ ] it's bad really and they. hit him and I guess uh oh would you. rather get hit from the back with a. truck or from the. front like definitely from. behind boss definitely I don't want to.
see that thing coming dude you don't I. don't want to have one I don't want to. have one second to be like oh here it. comes I just want to just Fade to Black. just that'd be. nice what sound would you make i s I. think about that what sound wait am I in. a car or I'm just getting no you're just. walking you're out there walking. something's not going good. yeah something's gone wrong yeah. something is wrong you're walking out. there and I'm walking and yeah I. definitely want it to be from behind. yeah I don't want dude cuz if you see it.
coming your last you know you're going. to be trying to get out of the way for. the last second that's going to be your. last thing you do and the saddest part. if one of your friends saw you cuz you'd. probably put your hands up and like yeah. he put his hands up to try to stop it. like you see that idiot he's a firet. truck H him he put his hands up to you. would you of course you. would yeah that would be tough man it'. be tough to figure that out so was there. a lot was there Amish people like in. your like was it a was there like would. y'all go to any Amish markets I'm just.
trying to wonder there's Amish markets. and [ __ ] I didn't really go to those but. they have uh we had like menite kids in. our school wow yeah chick that would. wear like a bonnet yeah they were like. cuz there's there's there's levels to. Amish and there's Menan nights that I I. don't think follow like the no. electricity and [ __ ] but they'll like. Drive the only color their car can be is. black they can drive it like twice a. week or some crazy [ __ ] oh really yeah. oh dang they're not all like strict no. electricity no this yeah oh oh dang so. they got some like Batman menite kind of.
f yeah there's a lot of those guys damn. I didn't realize that they're flying. dude they're out there yeah we tried I. know we tried for a while to get a real. Amish or uh somebody semi Amish on here. and we couldn't do it you I was at a I. was at a football game in Indiana. there's a lot of them in Indiana and. Ohio too and they uh these dudes were. just on rum Springer [ __ ] tailgating. with us wow and they were getting. wrecked dude damn and they were jacked. from all the [ __ ] work oh yeah just.
getting ham just idiots they oh they. could build a birdhouse with their. tongue the am still build a damn they. were like and they speak with a crazy. accent really I can't even do it I don't. know they call us the English oh wow. yeah I didn't know that so they don't. look at so do they look at themselves as. even. like I mean I guess they look at. themselves as human yeah and they look. at themselves as religious but they. don't look at themselves as like English. or or no they think we're the English.
and they're the I don't know what the. [ __ ] they are Germans damn yeah they're. wrong yeah just wrong across the board. dude and for some of the women did y'all. see some of them um nice babe it's rare. but if you if you see a hot Amish chick. it's like. damn that's my queen yeah she in a. beautiful flowery dress yeah no one's. touched her oh what a sweet angel stinks. like hell you think they smell good or. bad no they smell bad oh yeah they do. smell bad I hope that well yeah they're.
not going to care oh yeah they don't. smell great yeah there's something kind. of I feel like there's some sense of. romance about it um yeah for sure cuz. you I think you always romanticize like. a woman with a pale of water and you. know and you you can help her hey I'll. be you know yeah let me help you I'll. build us a boat or something you know. like I feel like and you can almost you. could use anything to get some. excitement you could be like hey let's. you know have you ever done this and you. just do like the doggey for or something. you know you just do like something like.
have you ever done the soldier boy you. just do something like that just yeah. you do something crazy that they've. never seen they've never even seen. yeah you're incredible this is going to. be a hit this is a hit yeah this is a. could be anything [ __ ] hit yeah like. even boy yeah that even if you just do. this dude smash hit and they're like oh. my god I've never even thought of doing. that. yeah I just think some of the ways you. could hit on Hest women would be insane. dude or if you did this thing you know. like oh you know they might burn you.
they might burn you you might get lit up. you do the soldja boy they might burn. you they might be like that's witchcraft. yeah that's we're not having that here. imagine how peaceful you think it's. peaceful being Amish on the inside of. him or you think it's I don't know. that's the thing like you were saying it. might be great yeah just [ __ ] working. doing real work like farm work building. [ __ ] and then you go to sleep oh yeah I. don't know and you don't no one around. you is [ __ ] doing good yeah so that. helps. you're not on Instagram no you're not.
you're not but I wonder if there's an. intense fear missing out because you're. seeing you see one car go by and some. you know there's a little you know. there's someone a woman with a bathing. suit you got to lose your. mind yeah you're just sitting behind a. horse going [ __ ] four miles an hour. down the [ __ ] highway convertible. flies by and something you just smell. like blast you hear one second of cool. music yes what the [ __ ] was that yeah. yeah what the [ __ ] dude and and Dad's.
like get your eyes back in your head. Samuel you're like Jesus why are we. doing this this sucks it must feel like. you're on the most insane Halloween ever. I feel like it's I mean yeah if you ever. get it and they do rum spring it and. that's as long as you want it's not like. one year some of them stay out for like. 10 years have a regular life and then. they're like back to Amish guys I got to. let yall know to be I'm going back yeah. I'm breing is probably [ __ ] sick D.
you just burn out in real life you just. go so hard go as hard as you can get. addicted to [ __ ] yeah then you're like. dude I'm going back back to the farm I. bet when you roll back in there though I. bet people are coming up and smelling. your breath fcking wanting to touch you. like what was it what what was it like. yeah I've been doing Co Edward was at. drum Springer look at him I've been. doing cocaine yeah it's crazy you know. how much we can get done around. here yeah oh that's fascinating man see. I wish we didn't have nothing like that. growing up dude we grew up actually uh.
they had like an adult store near us. sometimes and sometimes they would throw. like boxes and stuff that was like. defunked in the woods and so we'd be. back there people would come back with. all kind of sex toys and [ __ ] with pine. needles and stuff on them but we didn't. that was we didn't have anything like. and we had black people white people but. we didn't get any almost mythological. creatures when you go you know what I'm. saying it's a real pull up aish brother. can you pull up a uh land Dutch I think.
they call them as. well they are yeah it is just a. different they're just doing a different. time period for no reason which is it's. just unbelievable like it's 1820 it's. like. why yeah oh it's beautiful now see the. hor is beautiful though that that like. area where they're at oh yeah it's. awesome well and also I wonder what. happens if they see the horses having. sex does that that you know do is that.
an awkward time for everybody I wonder I. bet they don't give I don't think they I. think they're like great more horses oh. I think they're yeah they're not. thinking of it like us like porn they're. not like dude he's [ __ ] the [ __ ] out. of that horse that's awesome I wish I. could do that yeah it's not like Marty. Gro in New Orleans you see there's a. video of Marty GR in New Orleans like. there's a cop on a horseback and another. cop on and the one one horse the cop. still on them yeah oh no I think is the. gayest thing you can it's almost.
beastiality too if you're riding shotgun. on a horse. [ __ ] who are you you notice God still. know you that's the part that really. gets me um what was that time per we. actually had a question that came in. about a time period was this. it that's beautiful yeah let's go with. it Shane Theo what's up this is Jesse. Boone coming to you from Atmore. Alabama love both y'all love both. y'all's content love love both y'all. specials both podcast keep it up fellas.
I love it Shane I'm a history nerd get. the sense that you're a bit of a history. nerd got a question for you two. questions really one what's your. favorite period of History to read about. or listen to podcast about. two when and why haven't you started a. ripoff of the old history of hyenas. Allah Chrissy chaos and Yannis Yanni.
poppy love you guys gang gang gang baby. thank you brother for the question Mr. Boon there yeah I mean World War II is. the easy one that's the cool one. everybody likes that one and is that the. one who were they killing in that was. that Jews or not it was yeah yeah I. didn't I they killed everybody though oh. they did but they got they got it pretty. bad yeah you know what I mean they got. jayed out yeah yeah they that was a. rough one for them they they don't like. that stuff. yeah oh trust me every book at the.
airport's about it yeah I get it um yeah. and yeah I I I I I feel that um I like. the Civil War though the American Civil. War I love it yeah bro you ever go to. the Nashville Battlefield here dude we. used to do when I was growing up we used. to do cwrs all the time man really yeah. oh we'd be at them man we got to be the. uh we got to do the drum a few times. what else I got to be like a soldier son. I used to go cwrs constantly you really. yeah I used lanc was in Gettysburg I.
grew up right next to Gettysburg dude. the reenactments were [ __ ] crazy [ __ ]. and we should have [ __ ] won boy I. love up no you guys you guys stunk. dude we we [ __ ] you guys up when we. took the gloves off the north just. rained down on them dude but well you. know where we [ __ ] up is we kept a lot. of the brothers out of the fight yeah. obviously obviously if we had a plan to. get I think it you know get a little bit. more get a bit more Urban yeah we kept. it way too I think honky out yes yeah.
towards the end the the union was like. get the brothers in also yeah [ __ ]. started got bad but you guys had a lot. of. uh I don't know why you guys won I guess. we we probably had some disorganization. I bet and I think no you guys the The. South was much better the generals were. better yeah it was it was organized like. Lee and [ __ ] Stonewall Jackson and. Long Street those guys were beasts. that's why they were even in fight was. because of how good they were oh wow cuz.
the union outnumbered them more more. industry more guns but they just didn't. have that street they didn't have that. uh they [ __ ] they had [ __ ] in. general allegedly I don't want to be. smurch these guys but I could say. probably maybe they had some real nerds. up could see that did they had nerds. they had they were all well they were. all West Point guys but they were all. like uh like there's a guy named mlen. who just wouldn't oh yeah George yeah he. just wouldn't attack yeah they're like. you got to go Lincoln was like go dude. people in the woods are yelling.
boo oh that's crazy Sherman and Grant. dude Sherman came down and gave you guys. what for he got [ __ ] lucky pulled up. a picture of Chan H Mr Chan Civil War he. the man let's get a look at. him I have his picture hanging in my. house do you really got Sherman and. Grant and. CER John George CER yeah and he was the. one dating Indians as well I think. that's the one with his arms crossed. crazy hair a lot of DIY man a lot dating. Indians yourself you know they had a lot.
of those dudes was out there a lot of. them you know dipping in the cornmeal if. you know I'm saying brother bro what. would you be doing I mean just get done. committing a human you just get done. committing an atrocity you're not going. to want to have some. sex yeah yeah at this point you've done. you're you're done right you're done. you've sold your soul you are evil. that's a good point once you go evil you. then you're [ __ ] it then you're in evil. yeah it's like normally I wouldn't just. grab this lady yeah but but I did just. kill a family yeah you're right damn.
it's time to go that's crazy once you go. full evil you're full evil I didn't. really I never really thought about that. you know we had a guy that live across. stre from us named Brad and I think he. killed his. mother who was our favorite lunch lady. Annie dude and we loved her dude and she. like her one of her hands shook or both. of them Shook and she would like get the. food and it was just did your whole down. conver oh bro it was such a risky. waiting for the food to get to your.
plate it was like one of those guys that. used to drive the dynamite trucks back. in the day you know on the on the rocky. roads it was just unbelievable and then. the grandson K like he got he he got. sick of it well he uh I think they. thought that if they killed her she was. going to get they were going to get the. apartment and they didn't get it no the. landlord kept it uh somebody else was. like that's not how this works dude yeah. dude just bad [ __ ] in [ __ ]. medieval times yeah it was just a lot of.
kill him and be the heir to this. apartment yeah just bad organization man. but yeah dude I can't believe that the. Civil War would have been insane dude I. have had these dreams where I go like. Undercover Boss into like I don't want. to say slavery but like I'm like a. Undercover Boss like in a like amongst. like a slaves you know slave group or. something I don't know what they like I. don't know what the the correct term is. you know but um I always have these. dreams where I go undercover that show. Undercover Boss or something I think you.
know oh okay yes I get it sorry took me. a while I was just worried about where. this was going yeah so you're saying you. would want to be a plantation owner. that's like undercover bosses no I'm not. saying anything like that okay what I'm. saying is that what he say it' be. Undercover Boss no I'm saying I have had. dreams where I go Undercover Boss in. like a and I'm like a foreman at like a. uh like a like. a I don't what you call it like a like a.
during slave. times yes yes and what are you saying so. that would be a plantation yes okay yeah. so you would want to be the boss of the. plantation no I don't want to be but. then how could you be the Undercover. Boss because I'm having dreams where you. do undercover bossing where they like. send the boss to work at the plantation. I get it right okay do you want to be. the Undercover Boss or you just dreaming. it up for someone else dream no no it's. not a dream it's not like in my. uh you know like wrote it.
down you woke up like d that was a great. idea dude I'm going to get this done. it's not on a vision board yeah it is. just I have appar in my head while I'm. resting yeah you know what I'm talking. about nighttime dreams yes so you want. the owner of slaves to and how would he. be undercover what would he have to do. no you're on suddenly undercover I just. keep in the dream I'm undercover and I'm. like oh what do you guys want to do. today you know but I'm seeing if anybody. wants to sneak out or Escape so it's. like you're doing it like for bad.
reasons yeah I'm like secret shopper you. know what I'm talking about her you know. I'm talking about secret shoer where. people come in and they order the food. but they're not really there to eat. they're they're sneaking around for. somebody sure yeah but any I thought you. were going down there to check on morale. and be like how's everybody doing oh. yeah you were going down to be like any. of you [ __ ] trying to. leave I. think let's just order that Nazi Pizza. last time were here this isn't good man.
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seems like he has a lot of problems. let's get a question from him hey what's. up Shane it's Austin calling from Denver. just want to know who's the bigger. Patriot you or Theo let me know gang bab. well I think with historical accuracy. it's obviously you I mean you know more. even about some War reenactments and. stuff like that you know I think you're. you're I don't know I'm kind of I don't. know I I don't enough about your. patriotism I believe that I like.
tradition you know that's where I'm at. you know so I really like tradition I. like I think tradition is important to. keep a country a country yeah so I think. a lot of our tradition gets killed off. these days. by by people that are [ __ ] lames yes. I so I think yeah I me that sounded. honestly that sounded more patriotic. than anything I would ever say so really. yeah like I would even do I remember.
sometimes I would do the uh Pledge of. Allegiance like this oh. [ __ ] that's crazy I had a kid I remember. in high school my buddy would sit down. during the national anthem a guy I knew. white chubby white kid every day I like. get up yeah get up I was so mad that he. was doing so mad I was a kid though I. was like you better stand up I just saw. Saving Private Ryan it's my I love the. sniper in that movie get up. yeah I think there was so I I mean I.
like I don't know I guess I'm just also. I grew up with a lot of tradition so you. you you know you kind of get used to. that stuff and you think it's important. you know um and it keeps people. associated with one another it's like. you can relate to other uh Generations. because you have similar things that. you've all done you know yeah but I. don't know I mean to me that kind of. stuffs really pretty important but I. don't know who could be a real Patriot. but I my favorite movie is the Patriot. next to um A League of Their Own so yeah.
I love that movie I've seen two people I. was this is crazy I had two flights I. had a connecting flight on the first. flight I fell asleep the guy in front of. me was watching A League of Their Own M. the second flight I I like came up from. another nap and a dude was watching. League of Their Own and I was like is. this the same flight I was like did I. dream this is crazy who's watching that. yeah it's a great film yeah me me or or. people that liked it also maybe listen. this show but I remember my sisters. rented that yeah and when I was a little.
kid and it came in the white like [ __ ]. this movie I don't want to watch this. movie it's [ __ ] girls it's stupid. yeah and then I watched it and I was. like [ __ ] nice dude Le of their own. rules so good dude we went to the. Rockford Illinois recently did a show. there and got to go to the town and go. to the museum and see like all the old. equipment and attire and stuff really it. was pretty cool I believe there's one. woman left can you see is there anybody. still alive from um Rockford peaches. Championship Rock for beaches.
Championship yeah I was want to see if. anybody's still living from it cuz they. had one lady and they kept Wheeling her. out at events and it was getting dicey. it was like got rough there dude one. some of the last pictures she just had. like a bake sale and bro I don't even. know if she's alive dude and there's. just there somebody's playing like a. radio it's like we are members of the. all and she just bro there's nothing. left in the tank what you got there. Bubby Margaret wig wiggle er a peach oh.
January 2019 the last living local. Rockford peaches oh are Helen. wadle who's had some health. scares but at her 90th birthday and Angi. aramado wow Aram dang that's crazy well. your name is one letter short of anger. it's a n g they spell it um how did you. know you were funny when you were young. did you know you were funny what was. going on with you uh yeah I KN I I I. knew I was funny I was kind of a.
[ __ ] growing up like in school and. [ __ ] yeah I always had fun making fun of. people oh yeah talking [ __ ] when you're. young that's the best way I loved it. yeah yelling yeah class school what's. what's better than being funny in school. farting in class I never oh I used to. yes wow and dude my one buddy used to. fart yeah he used to really do it and he. would come up to you and be like it was. a funny joke he he would he would walk. up to you and go who do you want me to. pass this this gas too and you go you. pick someone and he would walk up to.
their desk fart on the. desk how fun is that dude he used to. [ __ ] differently uhhuh in high school he. would [ __ ] different he would come up a. different way to take a [ __ ] and me and. all my friends would come in and watch. him like sometimes he would hold himself. up from the top of the Stalls and drop. it in oh yeah he' plank at the top with. his ass down Oo we got trouble tej came. in was like what the [ __ ] is going on he. was holding himself his face was dark. red cuz it was so hard to do dude it was.
hard to do so hard he would drop like. one drop out we'd be like yo let's go. people were screaming a math teacher. came in was like what the [ __ ] are you. guys doing get out of here we all to run. you're like divide this [ __ ] he just. [ __ ] yeah dude there is something. amazing [ __ ] is like such magic cuz it's. like you can just make [ __ ] come out of. your body it's almost like doing magic. you know I I bet the first time nobody. ever seen it somebody was like had just. opened their eyes and had never eaten.
and then one guy had already eaten. rolled up and he's like hey watch. this like that's. insane yeah I bet that was really pretty. pretty power kid yeah when you're young. you're like fascinated with it I. remember like you watch animals [ __ ]. you're looking around you're like damn. [ __ ] is crazy everyone's [ __ ]. yeah yeah I would watch myself [ __ ] I. would I remember sticking my head like. as a kid trying to watch and really. seeing yeah well poop's coming out of. your body I mean the fact that.
something's leaving your body that you. didn't cuz I remember first when I was. young I got so scared cuz I didn't. remember eating poop I didn't know how. it worked and I was like oh my god dude. I didn't I didn't maybe I've been eating. this in my sleep yeah I was like have. I've been eating this in my sleep you. ever [ __ ]. Outdoors yeah it's a tough one I've. never done it you never [ __ ] it Outdoors. I've never [ __ ] Outdoors my buddy's have. and I hate it oh you hate it anytime. I've been around it it's the it's just. the worst it's the worst well it smells. so [ __ ] bad out of water out of water.
yeah oh I see what you're saying not in. a toilet a dump is. catastrophic yeah I think it kind of. depends on where you do it and how you. do it because I got a feeling you've. [ __ ] outside a lot oh well dude when I. was young they had this kid in our town. named Mario and uh and he died actually. he drove his boat into an embankment. which is insane and RP man I feel so. sorry for him his mother was a librarian. and beautiful guy he was Italian I think. or semi Italian yeah and he would uh.
defecate in his yard and I was younger. than him and for us to be friends I've. told the story he'd make me bury the. poops in his yard and so I was always. over there you know shoveling around and. his yard had a lot of silt I think it. was like aial soil. okay so I was always over there sh you. know moving you know and sometimes you. get too many in one area he'd make you. move them to another area got to move. the bodies oh like I'm John Wayne gay or. something like oh that was a nightmare.
and then uh it's a good friend like how. did he how did he talk you into that or. oh he he's one of those kids didn't even. blink he was just had just like sheer. electricity going need you to come over. to my house yeah well if he's like if. you want to hang out here you're going. to do this mhm and I was a kid you know. so I remember getting a lot of looks at. you know at that kind of work and uh. yeah you can judge for that yeah but. myself I did Mount killar one time with. a buddy and I remember um for an extra. 150 bucks they'll the sherpers that go. with you will build you a little Duty.
tent cuz otherwise you got to just. defecate in the wild you know and. there's other things [ __ ] out there. you know there's a lot of animals out. there you're in Africa yeah so there's. you know it's weird when you're out. there [ __ ] you can feel other things. [ __ ] in the distance it makes you. it's got a real Royal Rumble type of. vibe you know you're not the only one in. the ring you know and and so I remember. being up there for an extra 150 bucks. they'll build you that little you know. they'll get you that little uh yeah that.
just a little Duty domicile you know. they'll really uh construction you up a. little sh a little [ __ ] hostle and so. yeah we did it and thankfully we're able. to go in there you know but uh but there. was a couple times where we couldn't and. um and we do it Out outdoors out on the. out on the mountain yeah kind of nice um. but yeah I guess that school lunch table. was the most fun there was nothing more. fun did you have to go to church than. that time sometimes yeah I went to. Catholic school so we always had to go. to church those a forart in church is.
I'd have to leave if I heard someone for. I'd be like I'm so sorry everybody I'll. never stop. laughing because then in the rest of the. time it's quiet so the only thing you. can hear is that off the Pew from from. across the room just from down you hear. it I'm just like oh no I have to leave I. have to. leave wow yeah something like that was. so magnificent well I had this one in. our class he would always walk we had. this chalkboard that was close to the.
wall and he would always walk back. behind there and people would forget. that he was back there he'd stay back. there for a few minutes and then he. would just fart so loud like the class. would carry on it'd be8 minutes later. the teacher would be giving and he would. you'd for it was such a it was trapped. in this little sound space and it was. just surprising a room with a fart they. didn't know you were there it's [ __ ]. hilarious that's genuinely very cuz. you'd startle a teacher an adult would. be like is somebody back there yeah.
farting somebody behind who's back there. oh that's the best and somebody else. who's back there who's back there. somebody's farting you got to walk. out the [ __ ] dumb grin on your. face and you're like I don't know what. happened I don't know what that. was high school if you're young enough. and you don't give a [ __ ] about high if. you or if if you're in high school and. you don't give a [ __ ] about it really.
and you're kind of smart enough to get. unable you are un you do anything cuz. the teachers know it's [ __ ] it's. [ __ ] [ __ ] dude yeah yeah because. they barely finished it and all they're. doing now is teaching it yeah yeah so I. wish I always wish I could go back and. just be like dude I promise it doesn't. matter yeah go watch go [ __ ] nuts. here cuz I was so afraid cuz my you know. I'd get like hit you know by my Dad if I. like [ __ ] up oh wow really yeah not. like not if for me it was hard but he.
wasn't like beating me but it was like. that was always like if I got like a. detention or something like that I like. [ __ ] my parents are going to [ __ ] me up. for this damn you know so like I didn't. care about the teachers or school I was. like there is a. looming physical punishment for this. fart damn so you had a little there was. some skin in the game you hadn't really. want it yeah I got I actually got the. belt once because my friend the same guy. I've been talking about this whole time. Dusty he farted we were doing Stations.
of the Cross yeah which they just go. around and talk about each thing Jesus. did on the way to getting. crucified and so it's like it's pretty. serious and everybody's very quiet oh. yeah it's like the first 48 yeah and he. farted so [ __ ] loud and I I was I. just exploded I was I was crying and my. teacher kicked me out and I tried to. defend myself and I was like Dusty. farted and she was like that's two. you're suspended and I was like I'm. going to I start crying outside I was. like I'm going to get my [ __ ] ass. beat I got home my dad I I remember like.
it was yesterday my dad was cutting the. cutting the lawn in the back and I just. walked out and stood on our back porch. and held up the the pink slip he just. let go of the mower and it turned off. and he walked in and I ran to my room. and he was walking up the steps slapping. the belt dude yeah that's awesome and I. was like he didn't even hit me really he. was just like it scared the [ __ ] out of. me damn it was terrifying it is he's a. good guy he's a good guy he sounds like. a good guy look I think you got to beat.
your kid a little you know or spank him. you beat Hit me hard with the belt that. would be [ __ ] Wild Well when you also. think about what a dad could really do. like right now you could have a. seven-year-old or something right yeah. [ __ ] him if you really wanted to you. could yeah annihilate a seven-year old a. Bel you do like a fatality yeah you. could like take his arms off yeah Goro. just like Wishbone oh what' you get oh. yeah you could do that to a kid damn. that's insane man here's a guy right.
here he seemed like a pretty safe guy. and uh he's got a question for us but I. would say yeah let's let's let's answer. that Fell's question the toughest time. to be or a time I would really enjoy. Civil War would be. so Civil War would be so like it would. be grueling I wouldn't want to live in. any other time right now is the only. time you think maybe the last like 30. years but yeah what about maybe like the. 70s you think yeah' 7s could be I think. 70s might have sucked dick let us be.
lovers I don't know there was real big. or orgies and stuff yeah I'm not an orgy. guy at all oh you'd be the [ __ ] place. where meet up at you're the tall guys me. sh meet at Shan I don't want to be near. any of that stuff yeah I I think if I. was back the camel back. on dude if I was back then I know I'd be. one of the dudes that was like [ __ ]. hippies Vietnam's good like I'd be I. know that's who I'd be the calf slicer. baby that Peruvian tie the banana split. the hard.
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EO to get your first month free. keeps.com Theo hey Shane and Theo this. is uh Colton coming at you from Carney. Nebraska I was wondering who do you guys. think would win in a cage fight with you. two against each other maybe to the. death um maybe just the first one to get. pinned I don't know it's up to you guys. uh anyways gang. gang I think You' probably uh pry wired. I think we it'd be a good fight yeah. yeah it's an interesting thing to do to.
a guest on a. podcast have a guy on be like oh let's. take some questions yeah do you think. you can beat me up dude what that's true. sorry what the [ __ ] yeah I didn't think. about that sorry man no it's totally. fine uh and I didn't even know we're. gonna have this question actually I. think uh I don't know again same thing. with the patriotism I've never seen you. in action yeah yeah but I've got. probably a 100 pounds on you so that'. help or hurt that's a good point yeah it. could be interesting I think it'd be a. good match I think so too yeah that's.
cool um yeah I'm trying to think if. there was anything else that was super. like we would go spend time like I'm. just trying to think of times that were. really really funny when you were young. like what was the most well once things. once girls coming to the picture some of. the fun starts it's still there but it. changes then it's about being cool yeah. there's a certain level of coolness that. kind of comes in then as well there's a. lot of fun being mean to your friend. who's trying to be cool yeah that's fun. like when you see a kid trying to pick. up a girl it's very fun to be like. you're gay yeah for trying to do.
that yeah I'm trying to think of other. things that were great when I was young. I mean so much of it was fun field trips. bro when you would go on field trips. nuts it was nuts yeah just on the bus on. the way to the zoo yeah with your Bros. and girls that was when it was nice when. you started getting horny yeah and then. you'd go on a field trip and you'd be. like nice I'm sitting with the girl yeah. yes this is so cool we're going to kiss. oh yeah like damn Melissa sitting with. Shane that's crazy crazy yeah how' that.
even happen what it come up dude yeah. and you're like damn he's really. changing I guess and then other guys. would feel so defeated you're like I'm. still sitting here with freaking Marcus. yeah you know this dude's ugly yeah but. they would have more fun actually no I. would have a that was so fun when you. started dating for the first time in. your life like yeah that [ __ ] ruled now. it sucks I'd rather hang out with the. Bros yeah I definitely get I was on the. field trip I would hate it if I was. sitting with my [ __ ] girlfriend oh. yeah that's true huh it is interesting. yeah you go through these phases where.
it's like one is kind of better than the. other when you're really horned out bro. when you got your hormones rolling in. your body damn man them [ __ ] yeah God. you can't believe it yeah you can't. believe this is so sick yeah holding. hands slow dance bro when your teacher. would come over and lean over to tell. you something you would see an edge of a. [ __ ] tit we had these we had I would. almost throw my dick off of my body it. was crazy I couldn't handle the pressure. we had a a lady that was like 70 she's.
like 70 years old huge tits great tits. but looking back at it's like damn. that's crazy I was horny for that lady. every day for like four years every day. I'd just stare at this lady's old giant. tits yes yeah and teachers would try to. dress as unsed as possible made it even. hotter dude give me that I need to see. that yeah I want that B minus tit I. don't mind that I like like a good. totally covered woman yeah me too that. makes me even more horny see that's why.
I could really see you I could almost. see you look like an attractive Amish. woman if you had the Bonnet on and the. full reg like [ __ ] Rosie O'Donnell in. League of Their Own oh damn dude you. know who just messaged me the other day. was Roseanne Bar hit me up and sent me a. DM yeah I texted her I don't think she. texted me back. actually I wish she would I used to want. a tour with her that'd be awesome so. cool that would be cool she was so cool. man um um yeah so now you're are you. moving into theaters in some spaces do.
you like that what's that like I haven't. I haven't headlined a theater really. actually at all yet yeah um that's I. think that's going to start next year. wow we're working on that right now yeah. actually this year I'm doing some. theaters in England in Ireland oh wait I. saw that you're going to the shepher. those are actually yeah that'll be my. first dude that be my first one yeah wow. bro yeah that that audience is going to. flip for you huh I hope that'll be cool. dude that's so cool I'm excited about. that that are you going to Scotland as. well yeah Glasgow Glasgow that's where I.
win yeah yeah it's probably the same run. yeah it probably is man the first the. first time you did it was probably it's. got to be the same promoters probably. that do yeah we get well they let me. pick I think at at Edinburgh and glassco. and I picked Glasco just more working. class over there you know yeah I'm doing. like Manchester yep Leeds Glasgow London. and Dublin damn yeah that'll be cool. dude then Australia which I've never. been over there how's that oh. the best don't do not come back and give.
yourself an extra week over there bro I. I I mean I was there for two weeks doing. shows but I should have taken like a. week and just stayed just yeah maybe I. will do that it's yeah because it's so. hard to kind of get back over there yeah. I know that's like I'm excited about it. but I'm already mad about the flight. yeah it's going to suck yeah well I. think there's just a way to manage it do. you do you have trouble with um with the. flying and traveling and stuff you kind. of okay I don't mind flying but I. usually fly first now I'm big dude if I. sit coach I'm literally I feel bad right.
cuz I like I'm I'm the guy when you see. me walking down the [ __ ] aisle you're. like please don't sit next to me oh you. know what I mean or at least in my head. that's all right probably right if I was. somebody and I saw meig long Jack don't. [ __ ] sit next to me dude you're not. going to fit yeah so I feel bad so I'm. like I'm afraid to touch the person next. to me I sit like this for like 4 hours I. my shoulder yeah it sucks yeah I do that. too I would used to actually lace my. arms under the seat belt in front of me. like this put them both it's a good way.
to keep them there yeah there you keep. them there and because I was usually. tired and I would I would be an erratic. sleeper like that and so I didn't want. to hit anybody while I was while I was. kind of laying there yeah I was losing. it yeah first class flights to Australia. are like $20,000 is it really they're. crazy well I I definitely notice this. that anything that's expensive is now. extremely more expensive like. inflation's gotten crazy and um I think. they're just billing everything out the. wo like even I noticed now if you get. like a suet at a hotel like a regular.
room might be 180 160 a sweet now is. like 900 you're like. what it's just CRA I mean it's just I. don't know it's a lot man yeah I hope it. doesn't continue to suck it would really. blow if we got into like for real. hyperinflation and like [ __ ] did go bad. what what could happen that would suck. do you think you could handle yourself. do you have any preparation like do you. have any I don't even I don't have a gun. I don't have yeah I live in [ __ ] New. York it's to going can you have you can.
get a gun there probably yeah probably. maybe I think yeah maybe not even there. anymore yeah New York if [ __ ] started to. go bad I'd get the [ __ ] out of New York. right that wouldn't be that'd be the. probably the last place in America I. would want to be or get on a ship too. there's a lot of ships leaving out of. there ships would be good people don't. think about that I asked somebody one. time where would you want to be if the. world was falling apart and they like. I'd be I'd get on a ship and go like. couple 100 yards off the coast I'm like. oh great idea then just come back in. when you need snacks yeah yeah or fish.
yeah they just be like your vending. machine yeah what else was I going to do. Nashville would be good for that this. would be a good area for what if [ __ ]. started going pretty bad but you're. centrally Lo so there's a lot of people. that can really attack you yeah you know. I think. anyway. um has it been weird after uh the co. ended in New York has it been weird has. it been normal you find yourself missing. the pandemic at all yeah I missed the. pandemic a lot I left New York I was.
just at my parents house a lot [ __ ]. ruled I was down I was down in the. basement playing video games yeah I had. an old Xbox 360 the NCAA 14 on it I. played it for like 6 months oh yeah Mom. would make dinner it was wonderful God. that is nice it was great and it was. nice not [ __ ] drinking every day it. was nice hanging out not going to bars. just [ __ ] sitting at home I mean I. could do that now but yeah do you do you. uh I feel like I missed it too I feel. like I missed there was less people on.
the roads oh that was the best if you. weren't scared of the pandemic it was. the best it was the best dude I drove. across the country at the beginning of. the pandemic it [ __ ] ruled W did. y'all stay at campgrounds no I just I. went by myself I drove out to [ __ ]. Stan hopes in Arizona it it was the best. no one on the road gas was [ __ ] 30. cents yeah what was it like going to. stopes is it pretty it's wild it is yeah. I was ready to go back to my parents. basement yeah I I I I I don't know it's. fun they're the best people on earth oh.
they're like the most loving people but. I was tired it's a lot huh I you know I. was a guest I felt [ __ ] weird I was. there for like a month oh what yeah I. overstayed pretty hard and were there. any clues that you should have. left no I was I was like I should leave. I'm going to leave and they're like you. don't have to you don't have to this is. fine there's a guest house I was just. there oh dang was there a pool no pool. but it would get weird when I I wouldn't. hang out like if I spent like a day or. two just in the guest house that was.
weird so then you feel like then I come. out and they'd be like does he [ __ ]. hate us oh like no I'm just hung over. I'm not you guys yeah I'm trying it's. hard and you're in the desert dude doing. partying or drinking anything in the day. it's like twice as hard on you yeah you. wake up it's just like o I used to be. able to hear my eyes click open because. they were so dry when I'd be so. dehydrated out in the desert and it. would click open. um what do you think about that Elon. Musk in Twitter man I like it what's the.
hold up what's the hold up I don't know. is it just cuz he's gonna put Trump on. oh is that you think that's what his. plan is I'm sure he would I think he's. going to be like we need free speech I. think he's just going to open the gates. it's going to be kind of like that um. yeah like maybe he'll destroy Twitter if. he does that I don't think he will I. think Twitter will be [ __ ] nuts you. can do anything I know Twitter if. Twitter really you could do anything cuz. it's really it's an extremely it's like. alt left app basically yeah it kind of. is now it feels like anyway maybe it's.
not I don't I mean they yeah I mean. didn't they have like the head of the. Taliban still on Twitter oh yeah Trump. was not yeah that's a good point it's. like what are we doing and how much I. wonder how much like hype they lost when. they let Trump go because Trump was a. [ __ ] I mean as ridiculous was it he. carried carried it his now my favorite. thing is his old tweets you ever read. those yeah so good it's so good he's. like Robert patson needs to leave that. dog of a woman she's going to cheat on. him I know.
it it's just crazy he's talking about. the Twilight kids the best was when uh. barel um Dave pornoy interviewed him and. was like oh yeah about the tweets and. stuff do you ever like kind of proof. read it before you put it out was like. you know sometimes you kind of just. rattle it off and then you go to. bed like he's just he was tweeting yeah. that was him I was just down there I was. just at Mar oh I saw that picture did. you get to meet him no I I saw him. though he was hanging out really and.
there was like no one else there and. somebody was talking to me about his. tweets like they were with him tweeting. and he would just sit there be. like send it just a [ __ ] storm. immediately So Dope 50 articles. immediately so crazy man dude do you uh. what was Mora Lago like was it uh real. fancy it was extremely fancy but it's. small it's small it's not as big as. you'd think can you get a it's a motel. hotel. uh no you can't you got to like get like. I had to get like clearance yeah like.
the day before they had to get like my. name and all that [ __ ] wow yeah cuz I. got some shows coming up in Florida I. wonder if I could go there I bet you. could wow I bet you could it's crazy. there's like a guy with a machine gun at. the front door what like this is wild. what is it it I think it used to be it's. like a club you can join it it's like. $200,000 a year for membership and. there's golf too there's no golf course. it's like a. spa and a restaurant oh wow wow and. that's that's about it two pools c yeah.
and he just lives there basically damn. so that's the fun part you get to see. him walk around occasionally he plays. the music he plays what he DJs no he. doesn't he DJs the music at Maraga. nuh-uh it's crazy and what kind of stuff. is he choosing is it any like CH when I. was there it was Hotel California yeah. which is crazy and that's also like the. most whest old dude song too and then it. switched from like [ __ ] like that and. then it went to like Proud To Be An am I. swear to God and then it would go back. to that [ __ ] I could it was like the.
Beach Boys dude I'm s I'm shocked that. more black dudes didn't like trunk I. think lowkey every black dude kind of. [ __ ] love trunk I think so I think. that's a yeah ca he made Kodak Black. chills there oh he does at marago wow. yeah because because he was all I mean. in the end he's kind of about [ __ ]. and. money yeah that was it you know yeah. that's a good president yeah I mean it's. like give this guy the keys dude see. what he. does by far the most entertaining.
president I don't know if being. president even matters anymore it feels. like if you're in politics now it almost. feels like it's just ridiculous to even. be in it yeah it is kind of embarrassing. yeah you look like a dork. dude yeah if you're like I guess it's. not that important because Biden's. clearly dead oh I cannot at a certain. point it's kind of not cool that we put. a guy out there who's not well I age. dude it's kind of sad yeah it's like. mean right that's what I feel like like. this is the only way we can win is him. right and it's like this is kind of.
going to embarrass this he's going to. ruin his whole Legacy well every time he. goes up there and speaks you can just. tell like you know you can see a old guy. when he's not doing real Health yeah you. know it's fun to see him when he's on. though every once in a while there's. glimpses it's like oh [ __ ] he still got. it yeah he's firing I've heard he's a. super nice guy man from people that from. friends of mine that know him but um I. don't know I never KN I never knew a lot. of politicians every politician in. Louisiana got busted for sex crime. emzl that's good yeah that's who you. want you want someone that's like I'm.
taking [ __ ] wild risks I'm trying to. get it done yeah that's true I think. it's the only real way to be I think you. want like a. real you want that Jesse James in there. yeah do you I I want I I kind of wish. people would start voting in insane just. C the wildest person you could think of. two the last two have been [ __ ] nuts. that's true Trump was wild yeah Biden's. crazy yeah these are two crazy picks. yeah the last eight years we've had a. leader that's like half you know half. the country is like dude what are we.
doing we've made some wild CH we're like. the Cleveland. Browns shuffling two quarterbacks first. round Donald Trump it's like God damn it. he's a bust we're rolling through dude. [ __ ] it do you think he'll run again I. don't know I think uh if he does Rob. DeSantis won't run the guy from Florida. right but then I think Dan santis it. seems like Dan santis is going to run. yeah and then who the [ __ ] are the. Democrats going to go like like who are. they going to pick I don't know they're. going to have to go with they did Biden.
again if they were like dude four more. years he's. fine he's just laying down somewhere. they're like he's our guy he's sharp as. [ __ ] off camera he gets. nervous they do need to try it's. laughable but they could you never it's. [ __ ] laughable man I hope they get. Hillary oh wow I hope they get Hillary I. dude if we get Trump Hillary H again the. rematch I'll go. crazy look I was like I I didn't vote. for Trump I never voted I didn't vote.
for Trump this one I'd be like Trump's. gotta win this like I'd be so pumped. dude oh that'd be exciting dude yeah. that'd be a good battle oh I think it. would be it would just be so good to see. them too because see them talking [ __ ]. again oh so good yeah that's the kind of. [ __ ] the best part I wish that the vice. the president had to pick a vice. president from the other it had to be. like. from the other part I always wish that. Trump and Bernie had to be on the same.
ticket because then it's like you have. this they're going to have to figure. [ __ ] out you know you're going to have. to have some real conversations that's. what Lincoln did with his cabinet did he. really yeah it was there's a book called. like Team of Rivals he just got. everybody disagreed with oh yeah see. you're right there you're a better. Patriot than I am I think no that gives. I mean I had an autograph Hacksaw Jim. Dugen poster that's pretty good that's. honestly that's kind of more patriotic. I don't know I mean he was a. construction worker but I don't know if. that's more patriotic conru work you.
know yeah but that something do you like. wrestling now um not as much I mean I. don't go watch it no you know have you. been recently no well Soder took me to. one like four years ago yeah I'd never. been to one it was actually [ __ ] it's. cool to see yeah in person you're like. holy [ __ ] this is real it's a real. production these guys are getting [ __ ]. up oh I saw a Mexican father and son and. combined they were probably 84. and they were it was when the rock came. back there's a night Rock came back it.
was like 10 years ago and they were when. he came out they were both standing. there holding hands balling crying damn. and it was oh it was beautiful man. that's what I was just saying I just saw. I just watched WrestleMania I haven't. watched wrestling in years yeah and. Stone Cold came out and I was instantly. just like holy [ __ ] this is so sick yeah. yeah I could I I'm afraid I can't get. into it because that would be I don't. need that. well I need to be a wrestling fan what. can you take on yeah you know I can't.
take that personality on at this point. yeah it'd be bad there's not there's not. a lot of Pros now I will say this you. rem remind me bring up um bring up the. big boss man I think you look a little. bit like this guy people bring that up a. lot Big Boss Man son I see that yeah I. could bring it up that you look up Big. Boss. Man policeman wrestling yeah I do look. like the big boss. man but it's funny that we look through. things as the lens with racism not cuz. at the time it didn't seem racist it's. not like we didn't know but my black. friends wouldn't not watch wrestling.
like faroo would be out there and the. big boss man would come out with the. [ __ ] stick a police stick yeah hit I. mean I think there's C [ __ ] yeah I mean. you don't want to play this in. Minneapolis you don't want to play a lot. of Big Boss Man reruns you know there's. certain places you want to do stuff. finishing move the big boss man I don't. know what he would do yeah um but yeah. it's just fun is fun as [ __ ] but yeah. the old promos like they'd have a. [ __ ] like an Arab dude come out and. be like Iran's the best America can suck.
our [ __ ] dick be like you. [ __ ] see that's one thing I love. about I love it if a crowd wants to. change USA in other countries you're. allowed to have so much more like this. is our country you know but here the. media I feel like you try to say yeah. they they've told us to chill the [ __ ]. out right our media I we're the only. ones doing that totally other country no. I mean now say and chill the [ __ ] out. but like other countries are like. they're not we have Flags everywhere in.
America everybody in America is like. America's the [ __ ] best or at least. that's how it used to be yeah that's how. it used to be yeah now it's a little. more like actually yeah we have a pretty. troubled history yeah like yeah go to. [ __ ] any other country dude yeah look. into anybody's history not saying it not. you know not saying it doesn't matter. but yeah they're all a little dicey yeah. well being a lot existence has been a. dicey run yeah it's been pretty bad yeah. um I think you know I don't know I mean. I just you know I do my best did you.
ever do opian in them show no by the. time no I was I was I I was late I did. Anthony I cumia's show I did Jim and Sam. [ __ ] like that oh yeah op yeah yeah. that's a bummer I've seen you on there. it was fun on there yeah it was Wild on. there yeah dude I had so much fun in. there just sitting goofing around I just. felt like such a just a it just felt. like a real goof and that's what it was. also a nice back there it'd be exciting. to be honest you'd be like holy [ __ ] got. to do Serious XM today this is [ __ ].
crazy now if I now if it's like a [ __ ] I. got gota go this podcast [ __ ] radio. yeah oh the radio yeah yeah the radio. really really really on the road when I. was just start I was like damn so sick. gota do radio not a big deal now yeah. like we're the radio station not doing. it yeah like I'm not doing it dude it. must be crazy a lot of com I I guess I. haven't gone and done morning radio in a. long time thank God I mean it's a. blessing not to have to go but remember. how hectic it was if you got into a.
place you get on the late flight. sometimes or you get the early flight. you get there you have to go straight to. the radio station and then you had to. try and get a nap in after that which is. fine 6 a.m. it's always [ __ ] 6 a.m. radio and you go in they don't care at. all half they're like so what was SNL. like it's like every now and then in. Florida they would care Florida likes. their radio yeah yeah yeah yeah Florida. still loves their radio c yeah uh. yeah yeah and they had Rochester New. York had a good radio station there's.
still some markets that were pretty sick. yeah but it was different man I just. hated waking up yeah so hard did you. ever uh I remember getting so drunk one. night I peed all over my phone it was. like when cell phones first came out and. I [ __ ] missed it and they were. Furious really people were so pissed. yeah what do they it's okay yeah it was. bad oh it was a day where I was supposed. to drive myself over there oh okay so. that was the thing I I got to do one.
Rogan show and I didn't know that I was. going to go up first right so we're just. standing there backstage and he's like. you guys ready to start the show we're. like yeah and I'd just been kind of like. getting busier you know and so like I. think I was probably somewhere in my. head I'm getting a little bit full of. myself or something you know and so then. he just gets on the mic and I I just. assume that somebody else is there. anything to go first and then he's like. ladies and gentlemen the and I walk out. there and I'm like oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] it's. like 3,000 people most people I'd ever. been in front of people are still. sitting down and I'm like oh Jesus yeah.
and part of the lights they were still. on for some re it was just no oh it was. so hard man it was so hard that was fun. though that was a nightmare bro I mean. it was awesome yeah and it was super. cool but it was just hard yeah that. sucks I've had to do that a couple times. yeah where like you're on the road with. someone big and they're like all right. you go first like I I shouldn't yeah no. but you're like of course and then you. get off stage [ __ ] I should have killed. right but people were literally sitting. down and they they hated me yeah oh that.
a feeling I had [ __ ] off the stage oh. dude I wanted to get out of the and then. I don't even want to get out of the. place you want to get out of the whole. city you want to get out get off the. tour you want to get off of the earth. when it goes real bad was it um was it. was working with Louis pretty cool yeah. it was awesome that was like a dream did. he approach you about it yeah wow yeah. it was cool he saw me perform at the. seller one night and he was like. laughing and I was like damn that's. crazy and then like two days later I got. an email from his lady that was like do. you want to come work on the tour wow I.
was like yes I was pumped was it when. you were was it did you feel real. inferior with his comedy because his. comedy is so unique and good it's uh. I'll watching I'm like oh man yeah for. sure I mean but he's one of those like. he's so good that I'm not even comparing. you know what I mean right like if it. was somebody like our age and they were. murdering and I wasn't even close i' be. like [ __ ] I actually I don't. like now like something crazy like that. yeah and that but with with him it was. like yeah he's I think he's the best.
ever so yeah I didn't yeah it was cool. to watch yeah he is he I mean there just. man he's so good I just watched he just. ran his I was with him he ran his new. hour for the first time after his. special I I was with him the night he. ran it and he was like it's funny CU he. was like nervous he's like writing and. like how do I was killed first time he. ever ran it Dam that was one I was. sitting in the back like [ __ ] I'm not. even close he hadn't even ever practiced. it he practic he had run it he had. definitely done like spots but it was.
the first time he ran it all together. yeah someone said that he made and this. is a rumor that I heard $13 million on. his special selling it online yeah. probably I believe that I wonder if. that's true or not I believe was. probably what like 10 bucks 20 bucks. yeah that's what I thought. yeah cuz how many people have to buy it. then a million oh yeah good call down. there something like that cuz I remember. asking my agent about it he's like no. [ __ ] way you know yeah but but the. agents want you to think that cuz they.
want you to sell your special to a um to. a also he was running ads did you see. any of those uhuh Lou was running like. he bought ad space on TV was running. infomercials that's amazing for the. special good for him they were like. funny yeah damn he's so creative man um. do you find it easier as you gotten more. popular do you feel like it's gotten. easier do you feel like it's gotten more. complicated has anything changed for you. you think as far as. I think standup wise it's definitely. it's easier which is kind of a problem.
right you know what I mean right like. people just like to see you so it's not. even about excited like d this bit. sucked and they're like so good yeah. there's something about the element of. surprise. yeah yeah there's something about being. surprising um did they have a lot of uh. I'm trying to think of something that. could have happened when you were young. oh do you remember the first man you. ever saw that could have been homosexual. or anything like that and you guys were. were kind of shocked by it I guess we I. didn't know cuz it was priests I knew.
something was weird I just figured it. was CU he was a priest oh yeah he like. spoke with an feminite voice oh dang but. I remember being a kid and being like. maybe it's just cuz he's a priest he's. different oh yeah like God loves him so. much that he just has so much love in. him that some of it's coming out towards. men or more of it than usual yeah yeah I. think that was it how about you the. first guy you saw that you're like damn. definitely well we had a they had a. mentally handicap guy in our town and. uh people would be like that guy's gay.
you know and he was he was mentally. handicapped but nobody knew cuz he rode. like a woman's bicycle and so uh people. were always yelling gay at him and stuff. like that but he was mly handicapped you. know and he would kind of come by the. school a lot but I think it was he was. like childmind yeah so he would just try. to be by the school and stuff like that. and be friends with other boys and he. wasn't gay at all he was just. his genetics Were Gay I guess you know. he was straight but he was just mentally. unwell I had two guys like that I had.
one guy he used to ride a tricycle. around it was sick he had a tricycle. with his a customized license plate on. the front with his name on it he try to. get was John he would try to get you he. would come up and be like do you like. pancakes he'd be like yeah yeah like you. want to put pancakes in my pants be like. dude John what are you doing like I. didn't even I wasn't even afraid as a. kid I'm gon to use that like I was just. like. this guy's wild I didn't even think that. it was like he was trying to rape but I.
don't know if he was I don't think he. was I think he was just having fun. breakfast lover saying wild stuff yeah. yeah I don't want to put that on his. name I think he was just riding his. trike around talking [ __ ] to. people which is a pretty good life oh. dude I think yeah if you're living like. that I think living L it's definitely. one way to go getting tricked out. tricycle if you're a mentally. handicapped man someone hooks you up. with that and then you just get to ride. around and say whatever you to like kids. oh yeah no one had a problem go up to. kids and they'd be like that's John dude.
he's wild yeah he's wild remember that. before every was before everybody was a. creep it was like that guy's wild he's. wild he has a good time just riding. around a tricycle through a neighborhood. um yeah I'm trying to think if we had. like a guy I mean we had some pedos and. stuff as I got a little bit over alleged. guys you know yeah um I always I always. gave it pass to the mentally handicapped. pedos you know what I mean yeah I can't. be mad at them well I'm sure there's a. and heard of this um that there's a lot. of guys who would let mentally. handicapped guys jack them off or do you.
know do sexual stuff that's not great. yeah no but to like oh oh oh for them to. get it out no for them like the guy. wanted to so it's like to help them you. know I hate to say to help them out but. it's like yeah you know the guy wants to. so bad and you were trying to help the. mentally unwell I guess now that I say. it out loud it sounds [ __ ] yeah wait. crazy that's totally crazy someone was. like hold on someone was like I think.
this mentally handicapped gu is horny. I'll take care of it guys no I'm gonna. let him masturbate me yeah yeah yeah. yeah that's crazy [ __ ] man [ __ ] people. are [ __ ]. up I didn't even think about that I. always thought like yeah man I totally. see what you're saying but now that I. really put it on you know put pen to. paper it's pretty bad here's a question. that came in right here hey Theo hey. Shane Gang gang was wondering what you. guys thought about Taxidermy I got my.
Impala right there and then got my Ram. head right here ramhead that's the bath. from uh Matt Shane you can talk him in. getting one uh you guys down for it. bringing the outdoors indoors and uh. what kind of taxad dery would you guys. like good question man you know a lot of. uh you'll see in the urban community. they do a lot of human tax you've seen. that recently a lot of that stuff's been. put out there like a brother you know. have him standing by the door at his own. funer funeral yeah that's awesome that's. just pretty live man putting a blunt in.
his [ __ ] hand yeah everyone yeah. that's a good way black people do pretty. dope [ __ ] like that like black people. are hella Fearless I think when it comes. to death white people are a lot more. like traditional with it I think yeah. and black people sometimes will get a. lot more uh Avant guard you know um. those African funerals those D are. holding the casket like dancing and [ __ ]. yeah shit's so hype a decent way to go. [ __ ] isn't wasn't New Orleans pretty. cool about it oh yeah they have like. parades and [ __ ] yeah they got good. second line parades and stuff like that. for weddings and funerals you know.
people will come out and celebrate you. can hire these guys and they'll come out. and play and and everybody kind of gets. these towels and you dance a little bit. it's got a real that's actually one of. the funnest things especially if it's at. a wedding you're rolling through the. French quarter and everybody's just. letting it go and you're just like uh. yeah it's a really good time man there. in their tuxedos cruising to answer that. guy's question the my girlfriend her dad. hunts like crazy like African animals. mhm so he's got like a taxy room of like. all that [ __ ] like the Impala and all.
that and we're I'm going to get him i'. he's going to give us too if he passes. away no he's giving them he's mailing. them oh wow do you get to pick them out. you already picked them out I think. they're ones he didn't like but they're. awesome you know so I have two of those. in my apartment wow that's pretty cool. man pretty excited about it yeah it is. nice yeah I'm trying to think I almost. bought a buffalo not long ago I was. price G the man I thought was price. gouging it but it was a buffalo head. that's awesome yeah we'll see I think I. bet it's still there I thought about. driving by but um but that's something.
that I thought about wait he's got it's. in a store it's in a store yeah you. notice different loves as you get older. yeah definitely like the first time you. fall in love it's like crazy I was in. college I was like yeah I was such a. [ __ ] weirdo I was like emailing I was. like emailing her we'd get in a fight. I'd be at work after I'd be like you. [ __ ] oh yeah sending like crazy. yeah yeah it was cuz email was like it. was almost like like a text message back. then yeah there was no and I'd have to. check my emails see if she got back oh.
she didn't send another email that' be. the. worst. yeah how about you are you in love no. I'm not in love I I I've definitely have. been in love. um I would like to be in love again yeah. you know I think it definitely gets. different it gets different when you're. young that young love man do you ever. buy flowers for a girl anything like. that did you ever do any crazy stuff. like in front of a group of people. you're like dang that dude must be in.
love trying to. think I went to a basketball game once. and like gave a flower to a girl at the. game like when she was in the stands I. did that and it was like people were. yelling you know people were yelling the. N word dude I think I'd be on your ass. like it was like I saw a dude do it yeah. even though I I have done. it if I saw someone else giving a flower. to a girl I'd be like pussy' be so fun. I think I Y [ __ ] yeah gu. sucks bro it was so crazy and I had so.
much acne at the time I was afraid to. move my face cuz I thought a lot of the. acne would pop out of my skin that's. crazy oh how' it go with the flow did. she like it it went fine man I feel like. it doesn't work like anytime you go. crazy like that and like try to do an. over-the-top romantic thing with a girl. you're not dating oh yeah like if you're. like I want to date you I got you this. bouquet yeah it's like no she's not. Indian oh dude they had uh iron used to.
work with this one guy named Thomas and. he sent this girl like the biggest. cinnamon cake ever and I'm like what is. a cinnamon cake first of all and um risk. oh horrible and she thought he was. insane yeah she he sent it to a bar she. worked at so she gets to her bar Shi and. there's a huge somebody sent you this do. you know Thomas yeah she's like barely. you got me a. cake oh and he has to sit there waiting.
like yeah I wonder how this is going. he's probably loving that [ __ ]. cake he just gets a text like never call. me. again. [ __ ] sitting back launching a cake and. sitting back and being like insan this. is going to go. well and then never hearing from the. woman again just drop it you forget. about it and now you can't even go to. the bar anymore oh never again that's. the craziest never again that bar is. gone you got to burn it down you got to.
go that night and set fire to it oh man. I'm trying to think of anything of of. another time I wrote a poem to a girl. once oh definitely in like seventh grade. yes here's this is the worst part this. is like this is one of the most. embarrassing things I've ever done yeah. I it keeps me up at night today uh I. wrote a Bible verse on the back of it. gave it to her and my friends found it. before she got it or she got it and gave. it to my friends it was like look how.
weird this dude is I walked into school. the next day my buddy was holding it and. I was like dude I'll fight you like dear. y I was like don't don't show that to. anyone and he already had oh of course. of course disaster bro a Bible verse. which one was you remember yeah it was. uh [ __ ] it's so bad dude it was like. Song of Songs it's like love book oh. yeah it's a book of the Bible That's. about like people falling in love yeah. bad dude sixth grade I was like I love.
God yeah I loved being Catholic in sixth. grade God is my girlfriend dude that guy. I remember that guy had a shirt at our. took a lot for me to tell you that oh. dude well I'll tell you I used to steal. a [ __ ] child's bike from my. neighbor's yard and I would bike over to. this girl's house it was like four miles. right in the middle of the night to go. over there and like kind of suck on her. breasts for a while that's [ __ ] great. yeah but then have to bike all the way. back bro it would take I'll do that.
today dude the whole bike four miles a. suck tits are you crazy my story your. story was awesome oh yeah my story was. the most embarrassing thing I've ever. done you rode a bike to suck tits yeah. that shit's awesome how old were you uh. you were young that shit's awesome oh uh. no well. uh I was probably yes 15 15 bro that's. as good as it gets yeah God those tits. were good back then yeah remember how.
good a tit child. tits if you were a child yeah of course. bro CH child on child. tits what was that dude right when they. got tits you were you were like dude. she's got the biggest tits in the class. she's a [ __ ] be like dude that's lot. with the huge. kts oh look you had no idea what being a. [ __ ] was you're like just whoever has. the biggest hits is aore oh I remember I. called my bus driver a dildo I heard the. term and I didn't know what it was and I. was like you're such a dildo and then I.
had to go to the principal's office and. the principal beat us that's back when. they used to beat you he could hit you. you know oh yeah they probably kept that. going in Louisiana for a while right I. think they stretched it out they went a. little late D they got to like the Obama. Administration Extra Innings on that but. I remember going to the principal's. office man and he would freaking R he oh. he'd rattle he he had that big piece pad. yeah I remember the principls had. paddles yeah it's what gave it's what. gave them a lot of their power too I. felt like now they're [ __ ] what are.
you going to do what are you going to do. yeah I'm Italian they don't have any. real power nothing that's awesome I mean. I can see how that worked yeah having a. [ __ ] stick behind your desk. threatening to hit a child did y'all. have different like clicks and stuff at. y'all school yeah for. sure yeah regular clicks although it was. a Catholic school so you couldn't we had. a uniform so it's was hard to really. express yourself yeah but they the Goths. found their way yeah they hit you with. like some eyeliner or something yeah.
yeah but yeah everybody's wearing the. same [ __ ] thing oh I actually liked. it yeah I mean I I hated having this. jersey for three days yeah saw I did see. it before good I it was the first time I. wore it last time oh good and I've never. I've wanted to wear a jersey for a long. time and you did and now I'm doing it. yeah I'm I'm glad you did now I'm. overdoing it though so oh dude I'll tell. you this one night so I talked about. this this girl I met at a coffee shop. who I tried to like it got so. embarrassing and I'd ordered this omelet. or whatever and then I'd still sit there.
and eat it even though like I had like I. tried to ask her out but I think I. didn't get the words right and she said. something and I couldn't even hear it. and then I got nervous and just walked. away and so then I'm just sitting there. with this omelette and I had and I and. the way just just the pain of just. sitting there eating The Omelette and. it's just me not hungry at all you're. just eat getting rid of it the only. reason I went there was to talk to her. and I couldn't do it all right anyway. the next time I go back in there it was. like 3 months later um after everybody. had eaten the cinnamon cake and uh she.
uh she's like oh my gosh people called. here and uh and even called my. boss and I was like wow that's crazy. that's awesome though yeah F they're. like you never should have divorced the. Rat King that's what they said I'm like. divorced yeah it's crazy so that's. pretty hype dude that's wild um well. [ __ ] man I know you got a tour going on. you know I don't want to keep this thing. alive any longer than it just feels like. Ito I'm so hot I feel bad bro dude.
congrats on all your success man and. where can people if they haven't seen. your tour they want to come see you uh. Shane mills.com okay yeah excellent yeah. go check out Shane if you haven't seen. him um you know there's just nothing. like him I think there's nothing like. watching somebody who's having so much. fun uh and that's what I noticed when. I'm watching you man and uh yeah thanks. for coming and hanging out man I. appreciate it gang. [Music].
baby falling like these leaves I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel it in my. bones but it's going to. take a little time. for me to set that parking break and let. myself on wi shine that Li on.
me I'll sit and tell you my. story. shine on. me and I will find a song I will sing it. just for you. and now I've been moving way too fast on.
the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. P and these whs that I've been. riding damn. [Music].
