Shane Gillis | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #353
today's episode is brought to you by. liquid death. drink up. today's guest is a tall man and he's a. comedian as well. um. he was semi-recently affected by cancel. culture. over at saturday night live he is a. co-host of matt and shane's secret. podcast. with his partner. just friend matt mccusker today's guest. is comedian who i met last night mr.
shane gillis. [Music]. [Music]. just. [Applause].
how you feeling bro me yeah i feel. pretty good man i think i was just. trying to think earlier about how i'm. feeling i think sometimes for me it's. like i have to think about how i'm. feeling yeah. for sure it's like i think some people. can just are just feeling you know yeah. it's like when you're depressed. you gotta like figure it out because. when you're depressed you don't like. know you're depressed you're just kind. of like. i'm tired yeah i don't feel like doing. anything yeah you got to take some time. yeah people like why are you at this. animal shelter and you're like i don't.
know i just want to say goodbye to these. guys. i don't know what it is i just want to. say goodbye to all these cats yeah yeah. man. i just i don't even know him but i miss. him. um. yeah man thanks for thanks for letting. me get up last night it's cool oh yeah i. was happy about it that was a good crowd. in there they were i was a little i was. a little like i couldn't figure them out. at first it was a weird nashville. you know there's certain states where. like austin or nashville or like. richmond was like that where it's like.
aren't you guys supposed to be like. [ __ ] hicks. and then they're like ultra liberal or. like not ultra liberal but they're like. no we're not hicks right we care yeah. and then they over you know i think are. we recording this on yeah okay all right. good okay um. i wasn't sure i you know i do think it's. funny to find like a real country. audience like i my audience isn't like a. real country audience. um do you feel what is your audience do. you. i was trying to gauge it from the stage. last year yeah you don't know a man you. really don't know a community you walk.
into like it's like putting on his pants. yeah yeah yeah yeah. minutes in um office i don't know i. don't really have it's new the audience. thinks so it's mostly it's just podcast. guys right fans like that yeah for sure. yeah you had there was one girl there. who was like i felt like she was not. even looking at the stage she was kind. of looking the other like she was kind. of sitting to the side where was she at. over to the right yeah i remember her. and she for me and she hated me she. hated me she hated me start to finish. hated me. and i hated her for it oh everyone's.
wanna look at him what the [ __ ] what are. you doing isn't that crazy why would you. do this. she like it was matt yes i think that's. i'm glad she was mad during your set oh. she was she was mad dream i said and. even ari uh because ari mantis was there. and he went up before kind of a bigger. lady right. she was more a little more reuben yeah. kind of like a. more of like a rodent painter and like a. road in can you bring up rodin. i think anyway. yes.
but yeah that was i was like okay this. is these are shane's these are shane's. bad girls out here yeah you think i got. the yeah she almost had a goth. appearance pale. r-o-d-i-n brother. that's larry rodden. who's also apparently a good artist out. of somewhere yeah it looks good. yeah oh yeah there it is. i think he did some oh there we go. what's that blob to the right oh. that's.
i recognize that lady. fuming dude i used to go and i was in uh. school some type of school i would go to. the library and look at all of the. that was all my pornography is what i. would look at it was that kind of stuff. heavily bro i remember going in there. and i wouldn't get it going again well i. would get erect and then i would put my. erection into the book where. in the library right like up near the. shelves and close it as hard as i could. on my penis so you were like tributing.
renaissance paintings i was yeah i mean. i was into like and i remember i'd go to. the certain section and be back there it. was dicey it's crazy i never really. thought about that i went through this. whole. deal to do that that's a lot it is a lot. that's a lot it's crazy did that it is. crazy you're sticking your book dick. into books and smash it not putting them. in i would open the book i like this. book. i'm not saying the book was asking for. it but i'm saying yes but i would do. that man i would just like uh. the book was willing to be able to.
totally like seven years i was probably. 13 maybe 12. this feels like a 7th grade. yeah endeavor just something yeah i. think it was just like. i think i just wanted to i don't know if. i wanted to meet a woman from the past. or if i. [Laughter]. was just that's how i could see. pornography. you wanted a woman from the past do you. think maybe i don't know i'm just trying. to think of why would i have done that. because dick it feels good to smash your. dick into things yeah that too and they. were naked ladies.
yeah. porn back then was. impossible and if you could score some. porn in school yeah that's dude i would. look at like the science book yeah i'd. be like a skinless woman and i'd be like. nice yeah like you see your [ __ ] you. can see the inside of her you can see. the workings. dude so you just made even to the driver. oh bro give me this biology book oh a. little anatomy i remember two moons and. eclipse and i remember thinking it was. like breasts. oh yeah that's [ __ ].
yeah. you remember how hot like disgusting. teachers were to you oh man i remember. yeah who was your hot one who was your. hot tea we had a lady. that had giant tits but she must have. been she literally must have been 65 70. years old. wow but we were all like dude. what would you give to just titty [ __ ]. this lady oh none of us. were like seventh graders that's the. dark arts and that's when 9 11 happened.
she was the lady who broke the news to. me about 9 11. no way giant tits lady. i couldn't i remember when i was young. if a teacher it was hot i couldn't even. hear them when they were talking to me i. think that's one of the reasons why i. did why i had trouble learning it. sometimes in certain classes because. it's like once they open i couldn't hear. anything yeah you were in the library. smashing your dick into books. you're not gonna learn anything you're. not gonna there's no chance you're. learning yeah that's true somebody. should have got a hold of you and. stopped you yeah that would have helped.
i was at the library for so many hours i. think at some point i had this kid's. real bookworm yeah. this kid's literally studying hard he's. really i don't know how he's failing. he's literally worming these books over. here. oh and i and i would and i always had i. was oh we're allowed to drink these yeah. we can make these man that's sparkling. do you mind this is sparkling water flat. i don't know why i thought this was. this is water we're out drinking take. flag. it's water. liquid death water yeah. where's this stuff from flint i don't. know probably.
yeah it's actually a good call. yeah how is this not liquid death the. sanctioned water of flint. they're having a tough time. oh wow. um. but dude nice to meet you last night. thanks for thanks for letting us get up. man yeah um we we kind of talked a. little bit briefly about oh we had a. question what is this one sean. hi theo. my name is joe and i'm a big fan. from little old england enjoying my bath.
and i have a question for shane. um what is his opinion on age gap. relationships. um still seems to be okay. younger woman. and the older guy but not so much the. other way around so um look forward to. hearing your opinions okay bye. wow. that could be one of that's somebody's. school teacher whoa she's in the. bathroom it's a british asmr in a. bathtub yeah she's asking me about how.
do i feel about older women yeah would. you bring me down here to make me come. dude no did you try to get me hard was. this a setup no i've never. huh no you invite me over here you put. on some asmr give me [ __ ]. rock hard give me some water. what are you doing. can you jerk off on this podcast. what's that what does she want i'm. looking for the question no we yeah how. do i feel about older ladies i've never. i've never seen that question i've never. seen that woman i'm glad she's staying. clean i don't know that lady um she's.
attractive obviously i think she's. trying to look at the suds on her chest. a little i didn't notice that before. but no we didn't bring you down here to. get anything out of you man. [Laughter]. at all i mean just have some information. i guess. what have you just masturbated under the. mic and just left this is her question. no i agree i think yeah have you been a. yeah is that been a relationship are you. older yeah women i've i've been with. older women i like it. you do yeah. yeah.
one less uh. do you guys want to talk to a lot of. people when they see me they want to. learn about my sexuality really i'm a. real yeah they want to ask me about it. because you have that politic you look. to me like a politician i feel like and. so everybody wants to know you know kind. of what bill clinton's really into so i. think you're the closest that i've ever. gotten closest to bill clinton today. yeah so far i mean hide in style and. like that. i think uh yeah older ladies yeah. sometimes when you're with. like a young hot girl you feel like.
i it's this this is my job for this to. go well yeah but when you get an old. [ __ ] a geezer [ __ ]. that's right you just let her [ __ ]. whoa i've never done that oh what the. hell lady oh those you know what i mean. i guess i yeah i don't know what the. hell you doing down there lady i don't. know oh. yeah they really know how to pickle the. onions you know they do my lady pressed. my gooch oh wow fingering my taint. fire me up a little.
oh my god. room's going crazy. yeah and that's. yeah that's our. uh. producer riley now he's never even. masturbated in his life which is true. riley the the never masturbated. give it a shot. no no no you can't he's like it's too. late now no he no it's not too i don't. think it's too late i don't know. hopefully he can i don't know he might. have autism i don't even know him that. well he's a great great guy and i'm glad. that he's here.
sorry i didn't mean to bring that up it. just kind of fell in the conversation. that. and uh are you doing okay riley i am. there you go you just never masturbated. nope. he's re he's part of a religious group. and they don't do it how rel what type. of religion. uh christian. oh [ __ ] yeah i'm with you. i'm still firing him off he's with you. you're more of a hester. yeah. i was a catholic and they would talk to. you about coming oh okay oh i had some.
priests asking me about you you grew up. catholic right do you uh or no we were. like sixth baptist i think oh okay. you ever get any guys talking to you. about come. we had a. professor i guess or i think it then it. was just a teacher you know yeah and he. would i remember he drew a picture. of a wiener. ejaculating. chalkboard and it was he like kind of. described like. he told us what the feelings would be.
like we wouldn't be able to handle it. and stuff and then he. drew it like um. he drew the. the yeah the ejaculate just. coming out it was really insane was he. like. was he like making the noise with it. i remember he i do remember it was one. of those double chalk here comes a big. one. i remember he would put the marker on. the board and then walk. that's crazy it was pretty crazy man and. he wore the shortest shorts too he died.
man willie i think. derek osner was his name or something. and i think his son might have died but. he died but. his son died too i'm pretty sure uh i. don't want to say that but i'm pretty. sure. and he had the biggest mustache like i. don't his words like i felt like his. words big mustache and he was talking. bro his mustache came over both lips so. it was like. the words couldn't even some of the. words you just had to guess what they. were people thought he was. some people thought he was black people.
didn't know what was going on. we just couldn't understand what he was. talking about it was crazy you know it. was just different times back then. it was different times. but yeah i've never really had an. experience really with an older woman so. i i have not i haven't had that. experience it's nice. is it you just let them go. the dude i remember one time this one. girl was so hot i felt like i was afraid. to even go in the same room with her. yeah for sure so girls yeah i think with.
regular like. you know legally aged women it can get a. little bit dicey but yeah i guess if you. have an older lady. you're kind of the little yeah the. little now you're the you're the meal. yeah feels nice to be a snack sometimes. you know what i'm talking about so you. don't beat off this is crazy we're just. skimming past it never once in your life. how old are you 23. all right you got. time. you're going to get one off what i think. i promise i promise you're going to go. oh dude i'll pat him on the back hard. enough. you know what i'm saying sorry brother i.
don't want to say that kind of stuff in. front of i you know i'm not trying to. i'm trying not to jerk off and he. doesn't so it's. you know it's interesting. how many times do you mind if i ask you. about do you have wet dreams a lot. i don't. that's crazy what do you what happens. rally do you. and. yeah i mean but you're saving yourself. for relationships to talk about this or. no no we're fine. i'm gay about talking about guys coming. right.
what uh. do you have a lot of sensations in your. body riley. not really no. i was kidding. you can't ask about sensations i'm sorry. man. can we even hear riley do we have him on. mike we do. uh do you have a lot of sensations in. your body riley. uh not really. are you serious man. you have no. feelings.
i didn't know this bro. don't you get hurt have you had have you. felt pain. physically pain physical. what kind of physical pain like you ever. break a bone or anything no you ever get. a cut. i've gotten cuts what do you think what. that feels when you get caught. i don't know i put a put a band-aid on. but does anything come does anything. come out yeah. yeah all right but but you're okay. though riley you don't have like a that. you don't have a birth defect or. something i don't okay.
that's what i was concerned with if you. don't have any oh it's like you're. behind us. no no i don't so you get erection right. okay and what do you do when you do do. you go outside do you put your hands in. like a. do you just calm down. i just ignore it dang wow that is power. bro it's pretty impressive that's power. do you like the carl malone of your own. dude bro i mean that isn't just train. baby. yeah wow i mean. that's wild man yeah and i i.
i. yeah i don't want to see i just want you. to be i want you to be happy man. do you wish you never had. never had come. no yeah ejaculated there's never one. part of me that wants that yeah having. never i mean it'd be fun to experience. it again for the first time yeah that. would be nice. but no i'm proud i'm proud of almost. every one of them. almost across the board but. nice we did it. oh so you're in four eight there's been. a couple yeah.
i don't have any problem with it. some of my boys are like you're trying. not to jerk off yeah i. feel bad when i do for some reason it. makes me feel i just feel disheartened. it just goes away right away wow like i. don't feel. my friends feel that way my friend matt. who i do my podcast with he's a big. like it's pigging out don't be gross. don't jerk off like that. and is that gives how do you say that. keebs keith mckeever that's john. mckeever that's a different difference. that's the sketch yeah that's the sketch. okay yeah yeah yeah um.
wow well. but yeah that's i used to go into that. library and. and i liked it there and the lady this. is a reason we were able to get away. with it and i say we is just me. but because the librarian was the. largest woman in our town so. there were some stacks some books. actually couldn't even come down so it. was like that was great you could tell. if she was coming too yeah he's a. commotion yeah you would see a shadow. again you'd see a shadow you know what. i'm saying there would be some sort of a.
like vibe. kid would be quiet you know something. would have. remember that was the best thing about. the library people were like yeah it was. fun shushing people yes and doing it. like as a dick yeah to yell. and anybody that was had you got to. shush them it was like uh. that quiet place movie or something yeah. or when it the best was when anybody got. in trouble and you got to go. you'd start screaming. my one friend used to like if you [ __ ]. with him at all he would scream like if.
you like grabbed him somebody's like. shane get off for the last time like. you'd get you in trouble if you [ __ ]. up at all. it's very funny you can still do that as. an adult yeah you can you can be like. get the [ __ ] off dude i told you. i didn't touch him. yeah dude that was fun being a kid like. that was being a kid when somebody's. getting in trouble oh man there were so. many little levels to it. because you were free now yeah someone. else is in trouble so you can just be. like oh.
the teacher's gotta be like everybody's. selling but you're charging her up yeah. yeah she's like yeah you are in trouble. dude everyone knows you're [ __ ]. dude the worst is when you got in. trouble it was like such a defeating. feeling you felt everybody's eyes were. on you i would like cry because i'd have. because i'd get in trouble i'd be like. yo my dad's gonna [ __ ] me up for this. now he would never like actually [ __ ]. i'd get like slapped yeah but i'd get in. trouble in school a lot. and every time i'd be like dude you guys. understand i'm gonna get [ __ ] up for. this yeah like stop giving me these.
detentions yeah for like farting yeah. i'm gonna get hit yeah i'm gonna. literally get hit for this. and they had no problem with it they. were like yeah maybe you should stop for. uh yeah. our principal i remember we could still. get beaten at school oh really and i. remember getting spanked by the man bill. brady and i saw him at a funeral. recently and. he seemed like a nice guy i was actually. kind of glad he was the guy. at the time i didn't know who he was as. a as a kid i didn't you can't look in. his eyes and get an idea of him but as. an adult i was able to just look at his. eyes like oh man you're at the funeral.
was it the come guys funeral uh. dick trolling no. no. no it's not that guy man thank god. funeral. yeah this guy yeah this was a oh this. fella that passed though he had we'd. been in a hot tub i've told this story. before this is like every one of your. stories is like yeah i remember this as. a kid now he has since passed. oh everybody dies man that i know. but. he we the first time anybody ever. ejaculated in our in our we were at a.
party and someone did it in a hot tub. and none of us had ever seen it. we didn't know about it we didn't know. you could do it yeah. so this guy was erect under the water. and he was doing like a remember loch. ness monster the drawing yeah it was. very funny cool it was like the biggest. most important thing yes he kept doing. that a little bit just loch ness and his. wiener out the hot that's very funny it. was pretty cool man yeah especially at. that age we're done now he has since. passed. he is still alive this guy. but at one point he was i guess.
pleasuring himself he leans up out of. the water. starts spraying out. this other kid thought something was. happening to him that was bad grabbed. his penis to stop it from happening no. and the other the bigger kid ended up. punching the kid but the kid that. grabbed him the safety key. the safety kid died. they say the kid who grabbed the penis. and got punched yeah he is overdosed. yeah he grabbed the he saw an. ejaculating penis he went because he. didn't know he thought he's got a bag. into this yes and then he got punched.
too and died. hell was [ __ ] it's a terrible story. it's a tough life story um anyway man i. didn't mean to get off into all that. tangible no i'm glad you did i like it. oh. yeah man thanks for having me i like it. i like it man. i like hearing these stories i am man. that was an interesting one um. yeah thanks for having us over there man. i know we talked about what it was like. going on rogan and just like the. nervousness you know because you've been. in there i mean i haven't been in there. in a few years so. i didn't i forgot about that nervousness.
when you go in right when you walk in. yeah yeah because the whole time like i. told you i was hanging out with him. during the week and it was like oh he's. the man oh yeah this is he is the man. and then you go in there it's like oh. [ __ ] i forgot that this is like. this is a big deal you know he's like if. sasquatch were a real person yeah you. know it really is it really is yeah. because i've been watching him and. listening to him for. years yeah you mean he's like holy [ __ ]. he is exactly who you think he is too. right he really is exactly that guy yes. he really is he's not a different guy.
he's like a library with a bow and arrow. i feel like. you know he's like. he's just like oh i hear you the. information and the ability to like. share it and then. yeah he's fascinating yeah. and then you go in there so what i. haven't been to the new studio yeah. so you go in there and what's it like. you got you get tested for cove and all. that stuff wow and. there's this guy there's like it's just. nice everybody's nice everybody's. happy and. you go in and.
it's yeah that's it how big is it like. this yeah it's like this it's like this. yeah and you go in and it's but then i. was up there and i was like oh [ __ ] i'm. bombing. well you sit on the stools was there a. back on the stool here sitting like a. with nice posture yeah and yeah i kind. of look like a [ __ ] i look like an. idiot so i don't want a. side angle of my slouched. slug body while i'm talking to this guy. well you have longer torso too so you. have. more slouch there's more of a.
ability for you to slouch you're more. like you could have that kind of weeping. willow vibe yes. certainly so you have to really i have. less posture. you're funny you make me laugh. oh thanks everything you say it's funny. oh dude no i have less posture like my. body style yeah you have more posture. than me sure so i could imagine if i had. to manage an extra foot of [ __ ]. posture i would choke myself out it's. truly killing me anyway on stage. especially on stage i'm like this the. whole time no really bro i literally.
especially because the crowd's down so. i'm always. if you see a side. shot of me doing stand up it looks. [ __ ] crazy. you can see i have a hump i'm i'm. developing a hump like it's bad. it's not great. i bought one of those [ __ ] things. that don't do this look at that one. right there there it is you've got it. looks like that that's like yeah it's. like something crap. it's all my failures. oh yeah. is there anything worse than googling. your own image. it's not great.
it's not great stuff oh you look nice. though thanks man. handsome guys we're having fun. dude i wish i was taller. you guys are so you crystalia these tall. guys george wallace. george. the tall guys that can like hey here's. my arm you know. it's like you have that you're not. you're not like small though i'm regular. sized that's a nice. it's not yeah it doesn't do anything. would you rather be.
short or regular no no you don't want to. be a short guy you're sad against. anybody short yeah you don't be a little. guy i don't think so there's some things. about being a little guy that i think. are nice. you think i don't know you get to scurry. that's true. yeah you're always you're going to live. you're going to live long oh yeah you. know that's big i'm big i'm dead soon. i'm going to be passed away you're going. to be telling a story you'd be like yeah. i had him on the podcast last week. since passed away but. you know yeah we were talking [ __ ] yeah.
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too much the rogan thing it was great. you go in and the nerves it was just me. and i and again he's done he does three. hours every [ __ ] day right so this is. literally nothing to him yeah it's just. like any conversation you'd have with. anybody but on the other side of the. table there's a dude that's like this is. it this is my [ __ ] thing i finally. get to get my snl story out to the whole. public yeah here we go. i started telling it and i was like in. my head you know when you're doing stand. up and you're bombing yeah you're just. thinking oh and you're while you're. telling your shitty jokes you're in your.
head like what the [ __ ] am i doing yeah. that's how it felt like i was fully. talking about the worst you know when. you're thinking you have a whole. different conversation oh totally while. you're going well what's going on. terrible how do i look what's going the. the least i can do is look decent if i'm. not going to say no good i looked. foolish should have worn a hat no you. looked fine man and then i'm updated. you did well did he start off did you. feel uncomf because sometimes i didn't. feel like an idea wasn't it yeah it was. just me it was my idea of how things. would go. he didn't he didn't do anything wrong.
you know he's just talking right but he. didn't know the other guy across the. table was like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]. cause i looked like i wasn't crazy did. you have a cheat sheet. no i looked like i was like having a. good time but in my head i was like oh. no. so he had no idea he had no i then we. get done i'm like [ __ ] i blew it didn't. i he's like what are you talking about. dude. yeah. i think i bet everybody says that to him. that's not like. probably a sociopath or something yeah. you know. yeah for sure especially like especially.
oh yeah going in is a comic that's under. him you know i mean like i'm a newer. comic i'm not going to say anything to. him that he's going to be like oh wow i. never thought of it like that you know. what i mean there's nothing i can tell. him about comedy right which is all i. that's the only thing we could talk. about right you know. yeah man there's nerves of like and then. something back let's set it back up get. one back oh you'll go back hopefully. yeah he will yeah next time i'm coming. in yeah. i'm like listen [ __ ]. you better never make me feel insecure.
again dude even though it had nothing to. do with you. i'm different. yeah yeah maybe tell them next time that. you felt nervous i think i did that one. time i think i maybe told him that i. said it i said it ten times yeah the. whole [ __ ] show yeah good then that's. real yeah i mean it was it was at least. real. oh yeah yeah yeah man that story was. fascinating the snl story i was and then. last night you said that you and lauren. still keep in touch a little bit oh yeah. yeah that's great yeah i'll text you. sometime yeah we chat a little bro i got. fired from bj's pizza dude when i was a. kid for.
we're doing like this under the. dishwater contest kind of me and this. other guy. we got laid off but. uh what was the contest just be under. there as much as you can oh you get. physically you get in the dishwasher. yeah yeah you got to stay yeah that's a. firework. bro it was like the big it was like the. final one and i got i got [ __ ] i got. uh laid off after that but um. but i never talked to that guy again. wayne that hired me there no i don't. talk to those people i got fired from. several jobs several jobs and i just. never.
i'm done yeah we're done there was one i. was i worked at a. nursery like a it was like for plants oh. yeah not for kids like plants yeah and. one of the i worked in the patio. department so i was like putting. together like they just put me in a. warehouse and they like put together. this furniture i would literally build. one bench and just lay on it. the rest of the day and they came back. they're like you haven't made one thing. i was just laying on a bench like you. know you're fired i was like yeah [ __ ]. it i'll head out. i would every day i would build one.
bench and lay on it it was great. one [ __ ] gilla say stop. man um but so then what but you and. lauren still keep in touch though a. little bit yeah yeah yeah for sure did. he feel bad do you feel like i i believe. he did but you never know yeah you know. yeah you never know you never know he. could have been the one that was like. get rid of him. you know. but from his what i've heard is no. did you feel like whenever like you like. that you were going through that there. was nobody standing up for you or did.
you feel like do you have any thoughts. like that sometimes you feel like that. yeah i feel like that most of my life. yeah the show is about that. but do you ever but did you feel like i. mean like i just wonder what some of. that was like like was there. there's yeah there's there's one thing. it's very surreal it's very surreal yeah. even your story listening to your story. about going in there yeah sitting in. there. i'm like in the story oh my god yeah. when you're in the waiting room like. because when you go audition you're like. i also never thought i'd get it i was.
literally i was going in there like. probably not gonna get this yeah i knew. what i had done in the past. right you know. i knew my crimes i couldn't believe i. was in this [ __ ] building. and then uh. yeah you walk in you see that stage. you're like holy [ __ ] this is awesome. because i wasn't nervous until i saw. that. oh cause it's the real stage from yeah. you do it on the you audition on the. main stage oh wow it was crazy but uh. damn yeah it was cool it was cool it was. really cool but then when you get.
cancelled nationally it's a very. also it's a lot smaller than you'd think. it is it's very small. that stage. wow i always thought it was huge yeah. murphy had been on there yeah. um sorry to bring that up but yeah but. he was on there so were you i was also. on there you were on there did you ever. feel like you were a patsy like it was a. setup did you ever think about that no i. don't think so unless it had something. to do with epstein. epstein was like that weak my story. overshadowed epstein ah.
you never know bro there's a so much. power out there they could easily say. hey let's bring in a gentleman a good. gentleman and smear him. but did that ever cross your minor now. no no just from the way everybody talked. leading up to it. before the cancer like they weren't they. knew i wasn't like a conservative guy by. their standards yes i am of course but. they weren't like oh let's get this guy. because he likes trump it's like no i. literally auditioned with a joke about. trump dying right being funny.
right. so. go looking back do you feel like there. was anything you could have done. different or it was just this was the. way that this was gonna work out no. matter what uh. no i mean i definitely wouldn't have. changed. what we did my our podcast. you know yeah that's yeah that's how i. got to new york right so. yeah it's interesting it's like. yeah that was just the way there was no. other way it probably could have gone no. was there a chance it would be less. funny if i was like pandering to try to.
be a. improv snl guy. you know yeah that's a tough that's a. hard gig to be that guy. to be like oh i'm so silly yeah it's a. weird you know. look at me yeah i can't do that yeah. one leslie jones i like watching on. there because at least she has her own. charisma oh for sure there's definitely. people on there i'm talking about the. people trying to get on there oh yeah. like the improv world and the alt comedy. world that kind of like. i don't know it's not me drop these.
raisins in the car yeah yeah just going. on stage and being meta every time about. comedy you know i mean when they do. stand up where they're like isn't. stand-up comedy stupid it's like. yeah yeah i like it but sure. whatever no it's interesting and i i. hope i'm not bringing up any bad. feelings i'm not trying to no i don't. care okay cool yeah thanks for being. willing to talk about it man yeah i. don't care at all. yeah i don't have any. ex. experiences like that except for. experiences of learning that i felt like. hollywood a lot of the stuff in there.
wasn't didn't fit me yeah that's the. only thing i've learned over the years. like going to auditions and like trying. to be like um oh i'm just a. good guy that could be there next door. if you need to yeah you know for years. driving over and doing that and walking. in and knowing in my gut the whole time. that it wasn't me that was the nice. thing was when i got. cancelled was no more auditions. i'm happy about that i [ __ ] hate. auditions dude they're so bad. when you gotta submit a [ __ ] self. tape of you reading lines.
and then you just know they're floating. around somewhere like somebody's gonna. get a hold of one it's gonna be you. reading lines yes some and you know. there's some perv out there so you know. this. but i mean just freaking. yeah. some dude has got definitely. just gotta be let me just get cranking. off the auditions definitely. because i remember i sent one one time. it was a they had to do you had to do a. shirley temple. thing a song from shirley temple right.
bring up a shirley temple shot please. you can bring up a temple. and uh. and i remember mailing that off to. somebody emailing that video to somebody. me singing on a good ship lollipop and i. was like someone's gonna. so oh you jerked i heard you saying. shirley you danced and i didn't dance. but i didn't think they sent you the. lines and i never knew what it was for. yeah yeah yeah yeah but somebody. somewhere has. a shirley temple has since passed how. did charlie temple die.
that's a great question. woodside california the cause oh. smoker. lifelong really yeah. lifelong cereal smoker but avoided. displaying her habit in public. she didn't want to say a bad example but. she's smoking. she made it to 85. lollipop i know. that's a great example yeah you should. be like look it's not bad i made it. they should put her on a marvel box or. something look who made it to 85. it. made it to 85 smoking chain smoking.
through all that [ __ ] asani beach and. peppermint. hollywood sexual assault. she must have gotten [ __ ] destroyed. dude. oh my god. can you one of my friends said yesterday. he wished he could go back in time so he. could beat his wife right and i thought. that was the most insane thing i'd ever. heard hey but can you get the things. that women went through in the past i. cannot even fathom all the missing women. in the 70s you could just drive up and. pick a woman up yeah and they have one.
yeah you could just take her out to the. woods and beat her just cry. it's great there's nothing funny about. that this he's getting hard. he's gonna jerk off we're gonna jar one. out of him don't say that to that guy. he's gonna freaking spray beef jerky out. of his body at this point dude this is. gonna be crazy you were like not your. goal for like three days it's like whoa. i still got it imagine 23 years i can't. even imagine that shirley temple has got. you fired up a little oh i'll tickle the.
back of that leg. and it'll be spraying orange julius yeah. dude um. but yeah man thanks so much for letting. me get up on your show it's a good. podcast. yeah. i was excited you honored me dude. i was hired and fired by saturday night. live and i got cancelled. yeah. and it doesn't feel good when you get. canceled it hurts your feelings it did. it makes you feel. small. was the scary part about like what does.
what about the articles and then. suddenly your name is out there. that was crazy that's because i was. never anything right like i did like new. faces that year. and then all of a sudden it was like. you're getting i was that was what. [ __ ] me up was like the comments. now i now i read comments i always read. i've been stuck reading comments. i can't stop reading and it doesn't like. destroy me anymore i'm starting to get. but it comes and goes. like i'll be like all right it doesn't. bother me at all and then every once in. a while somebody will get a [ __ ].
dagger on me and i'm just like oh. uh. but i would read like articles and stuff. and i i would have like dreams i was. having like nightmares about like. articles and comments and all that [ __ ]. it was crazy damn yeah it's just so. crazy to see your name that it's like. it's so much bigger it feels so much. bigger than you you're like i'm just one. person with. and. yeah and it was all it was it was funny. sometimes like it was very funny. sometimes like because it was with my. friend matt so like.
i'd be like oh [ __ ] you remember we said. that like i totally forgot about that. and then there'd be an article it's like. judd avental's gayer than isis so you're. like oh [ __ ] that's pretty funny but you. know i feel bad that shouldn't you know. sucks that he's got to see that yeah who. judd apatow yeah. true yeah i don't think he he didn't. care obviously right. which is nice and yeah yeah because i. was down he could have been like [ __ ]. that guy yeah he easily chimed in. you ever get canceled are you gonna get.
cancelled do you think now we'll see how. this episode does yes. this is going all right yeah i feel like. do you feel like we said anything. cancelable no. that's a good thing about you is it's. like i can ask you yeah yeah no where. are we at on these we're good okay okay. good okay we're good so far we're good. we're getting close with the picking up. women and beating them to death although. that was more me than you i'll give you. that but i was here the beat of the. death part was me yeah you said you. could just go around and pick them up. and that you would you wished you had.
lived back then so that you could drive. around and abduct women my friend said. that you said. i could have said it but. i just i've been watching these ted. bundy things at night and looking at. some of his artwork you know he did. really good artwork a question came in. right here do you want to play this. oh we did a lot of artwork isn't that. crazy isn't that weird about all these. killers this is what my fans look like. just so you know uh is this your opener. stephen.
looks like. what's up phil what's up nick. huge fans this past weekend. i'm out here in beautiful. philadelphia cutting lawns and. uh hedging bushes uh today i got uh my. tan going my john lennon sunglasses. this guys so my question today. uh shane. is i know you came up in philadelphia. so i wanted to know you know i've been.
having this uh problem i wanted to know. uh. how many beers does it take you to. get incoherently drunk it seems to me. every time i go out. i uh tell myself i'm gonna take it easy. but i overdo it um. so yeah my question when you're sucking. down those bls those bud lights. how long does it take you and how many. does it take you before you're uh not. able to talk. thanks guys gang gang buzz. gang bro good question that is a great.
question it usually. last night i got pretty drunk on. bloodlines yeah i saw you had a couple i. had a couple yeah i came out to see you. when you laughed. you like me good luck come back i'm. gonna see you tomorrow morning. i'm a [ __ ] idiot dude i'm sorry i. [ __ ]. this is awesome uh yeah we went to we. went to the santa's. karaoke it was [ __ ] great was that. place is great oh my god it's perfect do. you drink i gotta go uh you don't drink.
now right now i got like 65 days oh [ __ ]. so i'm off i just i just about. did just buy this vape. that's good they're fine you're fine i. feel bad about it i'm sure later on in. the day you can you got to have. something you're not jerking off or. drinking. oh i'm jerking off i'm just trying not. to you know. and it is impossible don't do that don't. do that well if i had don't put that. pressure on yourself i know that's the. problem i put too much [ __ ] on myself. i know man what are you doing with uh to. answer the question probably around 20.
really if it to get like incoherent and. this is over the course of like. seven o'clock show we're out till 3 a.m. yeah. and it's bud lights yeah you know do you. that's no she'll be sexually active at a. certain number of beers no yeah me. neither no. after like four beers wow it's trouble. yeah it gets dicey and then it gets in. my head oh and then it's in my head i'm. like i'm not gonna be able to get hard. but i look [ __ ] stupid yeah huh yeah. that's when you need an old gal.
that disgusting yeah yeah she's like. don't you worry don't even worry about. your penis. she's hebrew for some reason dude. she's a black israelite uh one night i. was with mark maguire is that who that. guy was no jim mcmahon. uh. the old chicago beer right and he had. this lady who was old kind of older than. him okay or sitting outside and he's. just literally he would drink a beer in. one sip bro. he would drink a beer in one sip didn't.
he just get like cancer. oh right there the glasses that's the. one i spoke with yeah i thought it was. mark mcguire dude for like an hour right. awesome they're both awesome he answered. all the questions i had about about him. yeah so it was almost oh you're like it. wasn't like hitting all those home runs. he was probably like this guy doesn't. know what a touchdown is it was great. yeah this is out of his mind uh but he. said yeah he had this lady who liked to. eat his butt that was with him that was. older than him and that was kind of.
crazy. you ever do stuff like that get your. buddy i don't really get into a lot of. stuff like that you don't want to. put that out there publicly oh no you. mean you don't do it i don't do i don't. really i mean no me neither i would be. it would take i'd have to be at like a. you i'd have to be like a retreat or. something sure. some type of vacation or like a. rehab facility. that'd be a decent place to get it. though if things are going bad.
someone ends up eating your ass while. you're like. but here's the weird thing. one of my friends who you know who's a. big podcaster told me that he does it. and he lays on his back and gets it like. that oh it puts his legs up. what big pocket i. [Laughter]. you don't need guys like this that's a. predator oh it broke my heart man when.
he said it and i think i was trying to. be supportive and we were having lunch. and. god it just broke my heart that he got. his ass he legs up held his legs again. it was just. it was a lot for me to just take on. it's a lot. and i feel bad saying this in front of. riley over there i know. just a lot but um. anyway man uh what were we talking about. i got hired and fired by saturday live. yeah it was uh it was a traumatic.
experience. um but you i feel like do you feel like. there is any positives from it over time. sure have you started to notice any. positives i noticed i noticed positives. immediately did you really yeah for sure. like you go on stage and people are like. oh [ __ ] this is. you know this is who this is this is a. guy oh wow so you went i never had z i. had zero and then to like oh this guy's. good you know. or like not good but this is a [ __ ]. freak this is who he is this is the. thing yeah this is we get to see this. freak yeah yeah but then it's in your.
head when it's happening. because like you see people like at any. show people talk to each other like. whisper at the table and then like are. you [ __ ] talking about me. [ __ ]. who are you i'm like you know. you know what i did. you [ __ ]. yeah so you'd be up there you just. you're in your head constantly oh and. then sudden like you meet people that. are all you know comedians in new york. and i'm like oh this [ __ ] hates me. probably or they probably talk [ __ ] or. whatever.
so it's just constant and nobody cares. no one else cares. it's just you right i wonder what most. people feel or think i guess you never. know. it's weird how. it's like yeah do people even really. care it's almost like a lot of cancer. stuff it's not even a real thing it's. just it's no one cares no one really. cared exactly what you said yeah no one. did. i never once was confronted by one. person that cared really it was always. just like well you should have been. fired you can't dude.
whatever. it's kind of weird it's like this it's. like this invisible rule book this is. and we're trying like. like right now like with me trying to. sell anything or like work on anything. like a show or anything people are very. like well we like you but you know. we can't get in trouble right it's like. no one cares about nobody's like the. reason we're not picking you up is. because what you did was wrong they're. just like well we don't want to get in. trouble. it's so you know it's like a weird [ __ ].
there's this individual. yeah god that. do so do you does that deter your any of. like your thoughts for future stuff i. mean i see you creating awesome stuff. the tr the uh. the trump speed dating thing was. hilarious bro yeah and yeah i was so. bummed because i'm like damn you have. such a great look for like being like a.
new like daryl hammond or there's nobody. on these shows that looks like. anybody that i grew up with it's like. this guy this kid this is the guy um. yeah there's definitely like especially. nowadays you can just make your own. thing right look at this right you know. uh. so it's not and also there's what like i. don't do i want to be on a [ __ ]. sitcom. someone no i don't. i'm good yeah some of those days are. it's interesting some of those days are. kind of overflowing yes. right yes.
i would be on blackish or whatever right. i'll do it yeah but uh. no that would suck i'd say yes probably. but i wonder if it would it wouldn't. come. uh i don't know i think just don't work. i've worked in. a long time having to work even when. we're filming our own stuff is like. this is hard that's hard i just stand. for a day yeah crazy. it's hard to do that kind of stuff's. hard yeah you just got to go sit in your. trailer and it sounds like it's all.
going to be nice and it's this thing i. think. aesthetically or ast. aesthetically it looks nice to people. like on instagram it looks like oh i'm. in my trailer we're doing craft services. but it's just a lot of like waiting yeah. a lot of waiting yeah. that's all it is it's not like it's not. like obviously we're not comparing it to. [ __ ] roofing right but it is it's not. cool it's not as fun as you think right. after like the first hour of being on. set on anything you're like. [ __ ] yeah what do i do now this done.
this could be a long day. but yeah. yeah i think that happens a lot man. my experience has been yeah then it's. just you're in your trade you're in your. like trailer you don't have a trailer. and you're just standing somewhere. eating peanuts and eating eminem's. eating and you're miked up saying all. types of wild worst. talking [ __ ] on the sound guy who's. literally just listening. the guy who was like cross-eyed. kept talking [ __ ] on this dude. and then finally someone was like. i was like.
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t-h-e-o and now back to the episode. that's it see we got a question that. came in right here from some young. gentleman right here oh nice what's. going on theo what's going on shane my. name is cody from houston texas and uh. my question for shane is uh. what advice would you give to an. aspiring young comedian who has no life. skills and delivers pizza for a living. please tell me.
gang gang. you should give them the advice. well. you got to get canceled bro i think true. to start. yeah bro you do something you uh you. know do something a little edgy. do something deliver a pizza yeah that's. shaped like a uh. illegal symbol for the german people on. it yeah. deliver a pizza somebody did that they. did yes. yeah with pepperonis dude i saw them. really i saw it somebody got in trouble. oh damn please look up swastika pizza.
please google that dude. yes man. and the irony is it's made out of pork. isn't it. so that's a double entendre right yes. that's bad news. um yeah. that is a bad news. pizza little caesars fires two workers. you know how it went oh i've talked. about it you know how it went they one. dude was like i can't wait for him to. pull this out of the oven and see that i.
ruined it and the other guy who just. must have pulled it out not even [ __ ]. looked at it just thrown it in a box. shipped it. that the other guy's sitting there like. yo what'd you do with that pizza. he's like dude it's out it's all it's. tracking. the trash you watched it like oh [ __ ]. it's at their house dude yeah who are. they. what's that look at their names look at. their names oh [ __ ] goldstein. juice only [ __ ] dominoes what the. [ __ ] you're like is it b-u-r-g or. b-e-r-g which one is it.
oh man that is a freaking insane. so yeah. opening that i'd be so happy if i got. home opened a pizza i'd be like holy. [ __ ] dude the little caesars are [ __ ]. wild now they're wilding out man. uh look there's the two workers. oh wait no that can't be the two workers. it has to be. they just put two random could be the. victims little caesars.
fired up. are we now that we're talking about this. little caesar says we're deeply. disappointed by the actions. but bring up little caesar this guy. looks a little third reiki oh for sure. look at them mussolini the guy. definitely no it's. no these are the victims. oh these are the vic they were his wife. misty. i love you.
i love that people are named like after. kind of like weather like kind of light. climate conditions. misty sunny dusty. so my husband stopped at little caesar's. name dropping for a quick bite. husband brings this someone truly. disappointed yeah. ah. [ __ ]. these aren't funny jokes and shouldn't. be made. it's true they're kind of funny jokes i. mean it's you don't think it's a funny. joke but a squashing on a little caesars. pizza.
it's obviously a funny joke dude it is. funny it's [ __ ] funny yes i agree. it's a fireball. right and this is the owner of little. caesars. holy [ __ ] dude he's got a roman haircut. yeah that is holy [ __ ]. that's the drawing that's why bring up. the drawing it is. i think that is him. wow. i just. i wonder so so look that's caesar's logo. history if you wanted to be hateful you.
have to be creative if you want to but i. think yeah you got to do something. that's out of the box and that's going. to. uh. and then once you're and then you i. think you got a rap i think if you're. gonna go from having no. you need to have something to come back. oh [ __ ] that guy does work at domino's. that is. the guy we're talking about that is a. chance he does. toss a [ __ ] symbol on a piece right. but you don't do that well i would what. i would do now is do something do. something in the other direction you got. to do a different type of symbol you.
know i think you need to do like a mason. if they have a symbol you could do a. star david and send it to the people. that got the nazi pizza and make it up. to him. you could do a um. i don't know what you could do it's kind. of kind of the only symbol that's like a. yeah like i remember when we were kids. on a school bus we drew swastikas on. some kid named scotty's t-shirt that's. funny and he. went into aftercare we didn't know the.
symbol meant or anything of course we'd. seen it on like pamphlets or whatever. around town and. and then we drew it on his shirt. and then he had to wash the shirt right. and so but he had to keep wearing it and. so like it always had it on there a. little bit it was crazy man i drew a. swastika on my friend's forehead once he. fell asleep no and he cried. wow yeah that's that charles manson he. because he has one yeah. yeah so i think you got to do something. you got to wrap or do something i think. to you got to really. or come out of the closet via pizza you.
got to do something that's going to get. you. that's going to get your name out there. so that's wild so you went from and then. suddenly people know your name yeah yeah. yeah. for sure. is it weird when you see snl people. around new york city yeah friends with. like michael che right yeah. did you ask any of them to put in a word. for you no. no i didn't ask no right. what are they gonna do. yeah and that's like a [ __ ] up thing. to ask to be like hey risk will you risk. something for me like i was just.
while it happened i was like oh i'm. fired for sure and then it just got. drawn out like i knew i was [ __ ] yeah. because i think if they were mad about. that there's there's other stuff there's. a lot right like this is. you know. do you think um. do you think. that you would have fired you. no but under the rules today's rules.
yeah you have to right those are the. rules but if you want to you know what i. mean that's what i've always tried to. say like i didn't i don't. argue me getting fired right those are. today's rules if you want to talk about. like. i would have to argue like we need to. change the rules right you know yeah if. that makes sense i don't know if i'm. explaining that correctly yeah i think. so like the rules are what's. i this might not be what's wrong the. rules. there should be adjustment in the rules. yeah.
well it's so interesting when you take a. stand up from what's okay to be on stage. and then try to put it because you. weren't a sketch guy really are you one. no. no not really so you're in that space. suddenly. and. do you feel like you were a good fit for. the show. yeah i think i could have been yeah for. sure i think i could have done well yeah. i mean we made sketches and i did okay. in those yeah so i think i could have. and i think lauren saw that and he was. like i think he could be good you know. yeah.
uh. or i could have been decent at weekend. update something like that yeah that. would have been cool that would have. been fun. but. it's not the. it's all right it's fine. i truly i never like thought i'd get snl. or like wanted it right so it wasn't. like oh my dreams are destroyed right it. was a surprise it was just like oh [ __ ]. nice i got something they're like no you. don't i was like all right. back to what i was doing yeah. do you um and what is this here's a. picture you on stage with some other. communities oh nice.
that's uh yeah those are some snl people. dave chappelle. oh wow that's cool that was fun. did they uh do like a special thing for. you back at the cellar or something when. they got back was there kind of like a. was that weird no i wasn't i wasn't past. it the seller you weren't no so this got. you passed you think uh it certainly. helped i didn't get paid they weren't. like oh nice you got can in fact it. definitely kept them and they chilled on. me for like a year or two i just got. past this oh wow congrats yeah yeah.
thanks was there anybody that reached. out to you kind of that you were. surprised by that was like trying to be. supportive. yeah for sure it was a lot. yeah wow every every. yeah a lot of people did norma mcdonald. was a cool one really yeah that was a. cool one i talked to him for like an. hour no on the phone yeah wow that's. crazy. yeah what does he say. he's another guy that's exactly who you. think he is you know yeah he was just. like yeah. i don't know i don't wanna i don't wanna. put out the private right stuff but yeah.
he was he was awesome. all that stuff all that stuff was cool. there was cool stuff cool stuff happened. but it was again it was very surreal. like you'd i'd get off i'd be like holy. [ __ ] that's like. top five for me favorite comedians of. all time just got i was just walking. around my backyard talking to him. and then i come back inside to my shitty. apartment. with my roommates with my 35 year old. male roommates. and i sit back down and turn the news on. it's like piece of [ __ ] shane gillis was. fired what a terrible person he is.
and i mean it was just very surreal so. it was kind of like. i didn't even have time to be like sad. it was just. very stressful and like kind of funny. when i was just with my friends right. you know. because they would just keep quoting and. they kept trying to get us in more. trouble by finding old quotes. and every once while they they would. miss and they wouldn't be offensive and. it would just be funny. and they would publish them like a lady. from the new york times was like the. worst he called. civil women who fought in the civil war.
secretly. flat-chested [ __ ]. she like tweeted that. people were like this is pretty funny. stuff. [Laughter]. she was like it's not funny. yeah they knew it it made me hate the. [ __ ] i hate journalists dude. la times in new york times it's the. worst yeah it's like what are you doing. knock it off. yeah why why are you trying to [ __ ]. somebody up. i get it if you're doing it for like the. greater good if you're trying to like do. you feel like people are though that's.
that i know that's the tough that's the. tough part it's it's tough it's like. yeah are we aiming to do all this stuff. because we really like 50 years from now. you want everybody to not have any. judgments on each other or look at each. other in any. because the sacrifice that in the. meantime is humor a lot of times yeah. and humor is a risk like i always. the thing that was always funniest to me. was. a telling a humor or being a doing a. humor when you. write when it's not supposed to be done.
like the guys are little caesars yeah. taking chances dude. yeah taking a chance yeah the guy they. took they took a chance man they. somewhere he took a chance dude and they. are probably legends amongst their. friends they are probably. uh truthfully look never put a swastika. on a pizza right not advocating that. yeah they deserved to be fired yes. that's a good cancel yep there's a good. cancel there yeah because it's dicey. you're using product to push your own.
agenda. but those dudes are probably funny yeah. there's no chance those dudes are not. funny. because they're not real nazis they're. not right they were real nazis they're. not putting swastikas on pizzas. right they're doing other works they. understand how wildly funny it is for. somebody to open a pizza box. holy [ __ ]. and here's the crazy they're willing to. risk their careers now. it's so funny i'm sorry the word careers. is awesome there's that little.
word in there yeah but they're putting. it on the line that's true they're all. in that's a good point like yo i'm. risking my little caesar's job. this is going to be funny. it just blows up it's basically like. german roulette is what it is a little. bit. uh you're right man so then the weird. part is the weird part sorry to keep. cutting off but just. when they got home and seen that tweet. that lady that misty said or whatever. her name was it's like oh [ __ ] she's. pissed.
yeah we're in trouble dude. i wonder if they tried like 16 dude i. wonder if they tried to blame it on the. delivery dude i bet they did. i'd be [ __ ] scrambling to blame it on. anybody they probably had to interrogate. them separate be like your boy snitched. we know. my boy would never snitch on the. swastika pizza dude it wasn't us. fight could you find out how old they. were. yeah get the culprits and a picture i'd. like to see these i want to see. i'm going to reserve some judgment until.
i say what if they're black. it's just like oh these guys are the. best what if they're black and jewish. and it was what if they're the owners of. the place and it was just a a plan to. get the. get some eyes on little caesars. that happens all the time i think a lot. of us don't realize. the way that publicity is used a lot of. times yes. you know like i felt mine with the snl. thing a lot that did get them a ton of. publicity that was the first time people. were talking about them oh yeah for a. long you know.
yeah i couldn't name a yeah i couldn't. really name a a sketch outside of that. pete davidson chad when that even has. been going on in the past. few years i'm not a fan though i'm not. like a big fan anyway no i'm a fan of. some of the people i know that are on it. that are really cool but. yeah you're a comedian it's not like. it's it's not designs snl is designed. for like. high schoolers. right it's probably yes that's great. that's what that's their target so like. that's why everybody's always like it. was great when i was in high school. now. you know.
i guess the thing that's interesting i. guess but you see guys like spade and. you see guys like kneeling you see like. norm mcdonald guys like that that went. through it. and chris rock you look at you're like. man these guys. are still funny are still. and their level of humor and their. ability to be funny in the spot is so. much i feel like. better than the ability of a lot of. people i know or myself or anyone these. days it's just like. i don't know if humor was just different. than or if.
i don't know they just seem so much. sharper yeah that's fair. but you're only seeing their sharpest. stuff that's a good point you know what. i mean you're not seeing them. i bet if you went to a comedy club in 95. well definitely not so rock rock would. be. maybe destroying. i don't know if i define these. characters but in 88. maybe it wouldn't have been. yeah i think i've looked into this and. actually talked about this question as. well.
but they didn't. show the fellas. they admitted responsibility. immediately terminated damn. oh i loved making pizza man i used to. work at pizza yeah. it's a nice thing got it very nice yeah. it's just rewarding you get it it's a. circle it's easy yeah there's a couple. shapes you put on you do this you do. that boom yeah you give it to some dude. [ __ ] someone up with you.
people would lace him with drugs and i. remember we'd send a dude out he was on. lsd we'd give him a drug and then he had. to go deliver him and find out what. happened oh it was crazy sometimes he. would find him just in his car somewhere. we had a. christian fellow that would go deliver. for a while and we would make orders to. like danny glover he didn't know any uh. danny glover he didn't know anything. this was in louisiana he didn't know. anyone entertaining this guy so we'd be. like danny glover we just he was oh you. would write the name yeah he'd deliver. on sunday i said so he'd write like.
danny glover and he'd go drive 40 mile. middle of nowhere to deliver to glover. and he would wouldn't be danny glover. was in louisiana never was we would just. make it up and send this i see i see i. apologize i'll give you all the clues no. i should have definitely picked that up. bye it was on me yeah was it. um here's a question that came in right. here. sup theo sup shane i had one question. for shane today and it is. when is that special going to be. dropping if it is dropping that you.
taped in austin i was there so i would. like to see that again just wondering if. it is going to drop. nice. uh i should it should be out it'll. probably just be on youtube uh. and it'll probably be like first week of. like september. around there wow soon yeah yeah did you. feel good about it i did. i think it'll be good that's cool we'll. see i don't know i now watching it i. hate it you know what i mean like. sitting down to have to watch it and try.
to like they're like what joke do you. want to use here and it's like they all. suck i know i look like a [ __ ] idiot. up here. were you worried about what you would. wear on it no i wear the same. [ __ ] like every day yeah so it wasn't. that complicated but i did like spazz. and get a [ __ ] haircut like right. before. like right before it i got a [ __ ] bad. haircut. bad dude. i look. like a crazy guy. it's like. it was.
it was so ridiculous it was just a. nervous panic i went to like a [ __ ]. i went to a dominican barber shop in. queens. the day before i filmed oh and got like. a tight. skin tight fade on the sides. see the worst part of this and then dude. he oiled my hair. he gave me a full dominican haircut it. looked [ __ ] crazy oh my god they put. oil in their hair it's just oily i just. realized you look like you ate off. hitler a little bit.
sorry bro i just realized this. don't do that bro that's not. it sorry man you're handsomer than him i. think. there we go. [Music]. yeah get fired up. did you oh there's a pizza yeah i got a. slight. yeah hit. last night you said one of my i was. thinking about it all day. you were like we were talking about the. holocaust again for some reason.
we were a little bit but we were talking. about oh cause we were talking about. hebrews nothing bad we i think we were. with the jewish man we were just. discussing yeah how uh. and then you made a joke i hope we can. edit this right. if it's bad if you feel bad that i'm. exposing a funny joke he made okay about. uh you like. it's like you'd think there'd be more. there's incest in the jewish community. yeah and you're like that i think you. were like yeah because of the holocaust. yeah they were all. in the same space.
yeah that's what i thought i didn't it. was very funny and then you were like. hitler how far did hitler live from the. holocaust. yeah that's been [ __ ] me off all day. really it's so funny. thinking of him do you think hitler. commuted to do the holocaust i just like. went to work. i didn't know. like he checked into an office i was. like all right things are this is good. this is what i planned. yeah i did i think yeah i always oh.
because i grew up in the area of a lot. of incest and so when you're around. incest you learn about other incest you. know you kind of you know water seeks. its own or whatever. but. so. ari manus who's my opener who's jewish. is always that's what we were chatting. about yeah he told me that a lot of. incest in the jewish communities because. or i always thought a lot of incest and. he said there's a lot of incest in. jewish community yeah he said it so i. always thought that. it was because yeah like the holocaust. people are stuck together you have sex.
with whoever is local to you yes you. know which is the same reason that they. had incest in our community growing up. yeah or a lot of rural communities like. ireland. yeah people don't want to go that far to. have sex. bottom line. it's sad to say. but if somebody you know but i think the. holocaust was maybe in the ghettos. before. but the holocaust i think they separated. men and women right and that's what he. said and that shocked me. but. because i've read uh.
i don't know why it's so funny i'm sorry. no it's just saying the holocaust is a. place is very funny. just being like. i'd be like does he did he go to aids. it's not a the holocaust is a thing. yeah it's not a place because what was. that book i read oh sir. i don't remember it was it was freaking. good though but but it was about the. holocaust did you stick your dick. you're just reading night by eli weissel. just like oh [ __ ].
oh man i gotta are we allowed to tell. these jokes. i think we're okay i'm saying it you're. not yeah and i don't think we're. nobody's saying anything bad we're with. jewish people we weren't we didn't say. anything bad and i i just that that's. something that i thought i didn't know. there's nothing wrong with not knowing. something true um. but. yeah and then i didn't know like i. didn't know i never seen like the charts. or anything like where did adolf hitler. live at like that i always thought maybe. he lived.
like out front or something i guess i. guess i equate it to like slavery or. something you know not that it's the. same thing but i just equate it to like. a bad thing and then i think in my head. i'm thinking oh well the slave owner. probably lived on the edge of the i see. yes. in that case the comparison would be. like an ss guard. yeah. while the president. you know what i mean an ss guard would. be like a plantation owner right but the. president. he wasn't like. coming down to plantations and being. like.
my plan's working right right you know. what i mean yeah i bet hitler definitely. went. that's crazy actually now you mentioned. it yes i bet he did go inspect. you're like nice. i can't believe it's worked that's crazy. this idea you know. it's crazy man. this is crazy when you put your mind to. something. just to see it here brick and mortar. how do you think hitler was pumped. he was like holy [ __ ] man that's [ __ ].
up do you think hillary was with his. boys like every once in a while i gotta. just take a step back and be like we did. it you know. that's hilarious it sounds like a louis. ck bid almost definitely. hitler hitler killing him killing. himself reminds me of a. hitler just when he killed himself he. killed himself in a bunker did he with. all his boys wow and the soviets were. like in berlin and they were like oh. they're about to get him he was he was. about to get caught and he was like. you're not gonna get me [ __ ].
and he killed himself. that's correct which is pretty funny. wow. andy just he just said i'm done yeah at. the end he was like well you're not even. gonna get me you guys can't get me oh. it's so it's such a [ __ ] move. yeah but in his defense yeah he was. definitely gonna get [ __ ]. he was gonna get in trouble yeah at that. point everyone was like oh. yeah yeah yeah you do dude what the [ __ ]. did you do hitler. the whole world isn't it crazy how. nobody knew kind of what was going on. that's the craziest thing to me yeah.
yeah you can't keep anything a secret. now no you know you can't even keep a. couple you can't even keep. you know actually some people could keep. a secret they had like that elizabeth. smart girl was locked up for like six. what's that about months kidnapped. people they had those people for eight. years in cleveland in the basement. that's crazy. but i guess you just don't know what. your neighbors are doing. just being locked in a basement but it's. crazy [ __ ] years.
there's some guy that locks you up what. did this guy ask us. oh he wanted to know when this special. my special one's coming up mark norman's. had a great success with this especially. on youtube yeah it's pretty cool yeah i. think that's that's a pretty reasonable. option yeah it's a yeah and if it. doesn't work it's on you. you know if i put it out and no one. likes it will you put it out in a full. segment or clips do you have any i'll. definitely put clips out yeah that's the. thing you got to put the whole thing out. and then you put clips and all that. which you know it sucks to have to play. the internet thing that game i'd much.
rather have. like an hbo or a netflix make it. and that's it i don't have to do the. whole. because like right like schultz like. schultz talks about it i talked to sean. andrew schultz a lot about it because he. does it. you gotta if you're doing it on your own. like this is what he would say if you're. doing it on your own you have to be your. own marketer right which is hard it's. hard you know what i mean it's hard to. be that is it i don't like it i'm. uncomfortable trying to market myself. oh i guess that's interesting but i.
think if you just put the put it out. there a lot of people will find it for. sure putting it out yourself i'm talking. about marketing it to be like hey here's. uh. crazy captions on the bottom of my uh. and you gotta do thumbnails and you. gotta have titles that are like white. guy slams indian right you know what i. mean yeah some of that and that stuff. sucks. i don't like i hate doing it and most. you'd be surprised how many people hate. doing it themselves but it's. the right thing to do.
yeah it's interesting some of it's like. some of the but sometimes the material. can just stand on its own and you don't. need like the big but you sometimes you. do have you have to get some of it you. have to get the wording or something to. get people to see it yeah there's all. those tricks that otherwise if you were. handled by a network they would just. handle it they would just do it. themselves but if you're doing it. yourself unfortunately you do have to. play that type of game. it yeah that's a good point. i heard that uh. mark norman's was like the seventh most. watched special yeah um.
if you liked. over like you over hbo showtime those. sorts of uh the ones yeah netflix. doesn't release theirs right they're not. sure they don't release their metrics. yeah but norman put on a youtube special. and it's number seven that's pretty. crazy it's pretty crazy that's really. crazy. so that's a lot of eyes man yeah. hopefully we'll see hopefully exciting. hopefully it does well if it doesn't you. know i'll just [ __ ]. kill myself. in your bunker bunker. like guys. for real we kind of did it anyway.
and the the the the artist with his boys. like i mean i told you this was good. the articles were probably like racist. pizza. takes his own life who would have. thought that that guy's idea. adolf hitler's. we're talking 19. after world war one he's he's [ __ ]. wounded he's saying his. idea. would someday reach the whole way to a. little caesars in ohio. and just [ __ ] someone's day up.
in 2021. but this is one thing i think that's. good butterfly flaps its wings type. scenario yeah. just a guy in austria gets denied from. art school. somebody's getting a [ __ ] up pizza in. the future. but this is the interesting it's just. crazy about the world like you could be. someone who could have the most negative. or positive influence. and. a hundred years later 150 years later. the best you're going to be is a joke on. a pizza you know true.
it's like. um. also i think. it's also kind of cool to see the that's. where nazis are now it's like there's. not it's so like that's one thing i. didn't like about the charleston thing. whenever those guys came out with those. uh. tiki torches you know and they're like. these guys are all nazis it's like. if this is if if we're down to 60 people. yeah with tiki torches then we're that's. great yeah like that's great true that's. how i see it like at least you like it.
wasn't like there was like 30 000 people. yeah meet up i think yeah if you look up. how many dudes are like actually in the. kkk yeah. probably 60. no i think it's like seven thousand but. that's really it's still pretty good oh. damn that's like one high school. football stadium that's a good point. it's not that many guys yeah and if. we're down yeah it's like sometimes it's. like you gotta look at some things as. being pr i feel like as. you have to look at the actual progress. yeah it's like that's actual like. if you compare to some of the pictures. of like how many nazis they had 200 000.
200 years ago 150 years ago yeah they. packed madison square garden. unbelievable they filled madison square. garden in like the 30s did they really. yeah wow the nazis were big dude the. nazis were doing good and then hitler. they took it a little far. yeah. oh whatever we don't need to look up. yeah how many clan members are three. thousand thousand nationwide it said. interesting that's a lot of that is a. lot actually i mean it is a small. amount for a country but three thousand.
dudes are still like. hey yeah yeah this [ __ ] kind of rules. but i wonder if they're also just. including fraternity kids that do that. and that they'll be like oh these guys. are white supremacists i wonder i think. that's probably like estimated like 3. 000 like dudes that are like no i put on. the hat. i'm [ __ ] nuts dude i'm [ __ ] i'm in. it i don't know what else to do that's. crazy. i wonder how many because the crazy. thing about that the crazy thing about. the white power sign is they took the. okay sign basically and made that said.
oh that means white power well i think. wasn't it a joke when they did that. they i think the guys who said that that. was uh. to make everybody. follow through with it i think i could. be wrong can you look that up. i think there was like a 4chan thing or. one of those guys type things. and they were like it'll it'll just make. people look silly when they're like. actually that's a secret white. supremacist sign right when it's like no. it's it's a-okay or it's this game where. you punch your friend in the arm right.
but the craziest part is if you then or. then you become a white supremacist. you're like yeah. but the crazy part is you look back. through time so many pictures of people. were like okay in the past everything's. okay like look at this white supremacy. [ __ ] jesus and then you every and you. have everybody doing it black. everybody's like oh look at this. guys are hitting threes in the nba. [ __ ] totally like oh [ __ ] remember. lebron. lebron's one of us. was in my clan. that's crazy man uh would you still.
submit a packet for snl do you think no. me yeah no. would i submit one i didn't submit one. ever oh you didn't they asked i was. asked to by my agents and i was like i'm. not gonna submit a packet yeah writing. i'm not going to get a writing job there. i'm 33 yeah i'm not gonna go be a writer. yeah. uh so no. i wouldn't have that i'm too lazy. yeah i can't sit down and be a writer. and then have somebody else go tell the. jokes yeah that'd be tough to watch yeah.
you ever write on anything like that. yeah it'd be so i can't imagine writing. a joke and then watching another guy get. laughs. oh and some people do that and they have. they're totally happy doing it yeah. yeah i have uh yeah i have some friends. that are writers it's got matt gold that. she's a great i mean john mckeever is. one of my guys yeah mckeever he's he. writes almost all those wow he's yeah. he has no problem being a writer. i'm just which is probably a good thing. it's probably a healthy thing to be like. no i don't care who who gets the.
adoration. i'm like i should they should laugh at. me yeah if i wrote a joke and somebody. else told it i'd be like [ __ ] piece. of [ __ ] oh stole it. i gave it to him you know. you think about swastikas. yeah i think well even this wants to go. pizza guy it's like. i was trying to tell the guy you have to. do something you have to put someone on. a pizza and it's already been done. yeah so you got it yeah you just got to. think of something kind of creative i. think. um.
yeah when do you think that you were. part of like you know the eight the. asian hate thing started do you feel. like getting it yeah you do pretty bad. luck do you feel like you started that. at all uh. no but i was actually yeah now you. mentioned it yes i was one of the first. i was definitely early in the asian hate. community because after that it kind of. that's when it kind of took off i feel. like that's when. yeah. but you it it wasn't obviously.
i mean that's ridiculous. no that's fine. it was kind of yeah i mean it was media. attention about a slur right directed at. asian people so yes that definitely and. and and people are perfectly reasonable. to see a headline that says this guy. said this slur. and they're perfectly reasonable to be. like [ __ ] that guy. you know what i mean yeah because no and. i do the same thing i don't read. articles i see a [ __ ] headline i'll. be like oh [ __ ] they're guilty yeah [ __ ]. them or there's no context or who knows.
how the [ __ ] does the washington post. report on a podcast from 2018 right and. see the accuracy they're using here or. are they just like this guy's getting. fired for being racist. clicks. clicks clicks it's crazy huh yeah they. don't get no one cares it's all done the. caring is done the the problem is though. is when they write those articles. after what i've said that doesn't count. when they write an article that says a. slur. like this guy used this slur then normal. people who obviously would have never. heard.
matt and shane's secret podcast. are like holy [ __ ]. he said like they're just. in the new york times it's like here's. the word that that guy said that's bad. right that would have never reached. these people ever. you know what percentage did your. viewership go up after the article. it probably doubled. yeah since the the months after after. snl our. listenership probably quadrupled. yeah for sure because then people heard. about it and watched it so it's helped. the problem this is actually funny yeah.
it's helped the podcast tremendously. wow yeah but it's not like. it's not like it's helping the podcast. in that like racists are showing up and. being like hell yeah brother no it's. like people that are like oh this it. sounds you know i was trying to figure. out who the pizza guys were. yeah it turns out if they were putting. out some more funny content i'd probably. i'd probably check in with them and see. what they were up to once you're in the. news people are going to look at you and. be like all right this sounds kind of. funny yeah where does this go from here.
if it's bad you just close the window. yeah. um. and we're not condoning this guys we're. not condoning it. um. that's a scary thing now it's like you. don't it's like the people who are. judging they don't care if it's a joke. or not no. no they don't care at all. oh yeah you got that [ __ ] thing. tonight. yeah i was just thinking i was like. what's he got to lose oh [ __ ] tonight. yeah i was like yeah i'd be a little. cagey maybe i don't put this out until.
that's done. but will we ever be able to put it i. think. do you think this podcast is too much or. not no this podcast is not too much i. know it's not okay i'm certain it's not. it's clearly joking okay very clearly. joking yeah i just want to make it clear. we are joking if you were putting up. like pictures of like. i don't know horrible things and being. like look at those losers. i'm glad that happened. that'd be bad yeah. yeah i wouldn't do anything like that.
you don't seem like you would do that. you don't seem like a very. mean guy. do you ever freak out and get mean to. people. sometimes i get angry but my anger is. all always usually just inside of myself. it doesn't have anything to do with the. people outside of me yeah so sometimes i. react i interact with the world angrily. but it's just the way i interact with. everything are you ever do you get mean. to people you don't seem that you seem. like a very nice guy i think i'm pretty. nice guy i just. i think uh with work and stuff sometimes. i get kind of demanding i think yeah. someone's like around are you ever like.
you can [ __ ] off dude get the [ __ ] out. of here. spit on anyone no. i never spit on anyone one general she. was asking about it but was she yeah she. was this little. pretty tall girl not that tall but. kind of normal heightened i guess. regular. yeah cool girl pretty cool she was. pretty cool i don't know i don't know. where that good. um i've been getting angry lately have. you yeah i keep waking up because the. girl the girl i've been seeing she.
screams in the middle of the night. sometimes oh wow she's just all all the. time actually like every other night. she's like. three in the morning. and every time i'm like. if i'm waking up if you're waking up. scared you're gonna be mad you know what. i mean like every time i wake up like. what the [ __ ]. she's like. shut the [ __ ] up shut up. because i wake up.
shut the [ __ ] up. shut up and then she wakes up to me just. every night screaming at her because. she's asleep when she's she's screaming. so she's coming out of this sleepwalking. to me like go to sleep shut the [ __ ] up. that's how every night she wakes up at. four in the morning to me like sitting. up in the bed like would you shut the. [ __ ] up.
it's a real terrifying. terrifying relationship is she sleepwalk. sometimes so the other night i woke up. and she was standing in my room naked. in the room in the dark it was it was. dude it was scary i left the room i. slept on the couch. i was very scared and then i was afraid. i was afraid of my girlfriend i was on. the couch like she walks through that. [ __ ] door i'm this is terrifying dude. dude she got you right where she wants. you so scared. oh man oh my god you ever have sleep. paralysis that would that'd be something.
like this is insane but i [ __ ] up. love it dude i've only had it once and. it was it was uh the worst possible one. it's crazy it's a demon standing at the. foot that's she reminds me of she's just. standing there wow nothing scarier than. like a naked person in the dark. yeah. but yeah i had sleep paralysis sleep. process is good man i like it i feel. like it's a sign of things to come it's. excitement i feel like it's. you know it's almost a demon oh really. well yeah it's mythology it's uh i saw.
that guy that's the scariest part. no. let me tell you this this is. these images so i didn't know what sleep. paralysis was okay one night i was going. through a breakup so i was very stressed. out and i went to sleep in my parents. basement and i woke up and there was a. that exact figure standing at the foot. of my bed and what is it standing and. then it walked around the side of my bed. like reaching towards me and it's so. real yeah. like it was so real that i thought it. was a intruder oh i couldn't be like. this is a demon i was like oh [ __ ].
someone's in here. even though they looked ridiculous they. look like the slender man and they were. like walking around the side of my bed. reaching towards my face and then i woke. up right when they got there but i like. it was so real i tried to fight them. like i thought it was real and you. couldn't even when i woke up i was still. i got out of my bed and was hiding on. the side of my bed. and then tried to fight this [ __ ]. thing and obviously it was gone but then. several months later i was just looking. at wikipedia there's like lists of like. creepy wikipedia articles which is a fun.
read yeah it's fun to pass a time and. then i saw sleeper houses so i clicked. it and the image was the image from my. dream. so i saw. something i saw in my dream on the. internet months later after after it's. crazy. oh see that makes me it's the one with. like the red eyes leaning keep going. down you'll find this [ __ ] you'll. never find it true that's. the one that makes me uh. seen this is.
but it's just crazy yeah everybody sees. the same thing that's what's [ __ ] oh. they do very spooky yeah dude i saw. somebody drew what i saw in my dreams oh. that's insane. i feel like yeah i always feel like oh. something's. go to images on google you'll find them. sleep right now get me i. i feel like something's coming to get me. you know. it's right here and i don't know yeah. but i never see the thing i gotta look. at all the things. you don't want to see the thing. you'll find him yeah it's that guy with. bottom right or now he's bottom left he.
was standing at the foot of my bed. wrong one but that's all right swinging. a mist. go scroll down a little. right there that guy. nope. are you [ __ ] with me no he's not. this is what this is how it is. you were on it i was like that's the one. this is how it is and this is how that. works that guy this is what i get going. that's what i saw dude. this guy right here yes.
at the foot of my bed except my guy had. like a more white face. okay. so almost like a black guy in white face. kind of. wow. even the scariest that's the scariest oh. that's you know what world are we in. where black guy is doing white face. lester holt really but lester older i. feel like lester is secretly a white guy. you think oh. i don't know much about lester holt pull. up a picture of last year please. this will be. 12 minutes.
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah. you telling me that's not a white guy in. blackface or in tanner. i think uh. yeah that's. this is a tough one. i i i. lester i mean stevie how'd he look when. he was younger. oh that's a great oh there he is right. there that black if that's him in the. black and white. yeah. really that's him wow oh [ __ ] dude.
even he like transitioned. even that seems. like a white guy in like a wig kind of. yeah. this to be honest this is you you are. getting borderline this type of thing is. a little dangerous it is speculating on. black guy's race oh damn okay. look as i'll tell you where the line is. okay we're getting close okay sorry. then back me out i've just been there's. been a lot of discussions here's sean uh.
king. sean king uh-uh i've heard of him. he was like a activist oh and he was. wide out he's like pretty white oh it's. crazy now that's that's i think you can. take that shot publicly oh here you go. but here it's going to be in the future. everybody's going to be beige and it's. going to be ridiculous we were all even. arguing about race stuff. yeah for sure like we're it's basically. it's funny for white people to say that. though to like be. the purveyors of racism for the longest. time and then towards the end be like. what are we even fighting about.
it's like you don't get to decide that. it's very funny it's like when a girl. fights you. and then she's just like. she starts crying like what are you. crying about you [ __ ] with me yeah. it's an easy out it's good for the. honkies trying to hit the eject button. like damn it what are we doing talking. about. maybe i maybe i have such a white. perspective sometimes no i don't think. that's what you're doing i think it's a. reasonable thing it's not like that's. the thing there's it's it's easy to. compare like racism and all that stuff. to like.
well if you punched me i'd be mad about. it but it's like are we talking about. our grandparents or our ancestors right. like i that's where it gets murky. because it's like well i didn't do that. yeah. but like it's all you know it's. confusing eric griffin has a great joke. he's like it's like when you walk in an. elevator and somebody farted in there. but you didn't do it you know and. somebody looks at you like you did. you're like. i didn't fart but i didn't yeah. yeah but the smell is still there but. the red but the but the effects of it. are still around certainly and eric's a. bit he was he fat was it was he fat he.
looks like he's skinny now he used to be. thicker than uh. he used to definitely. he would have been a hottie at spring. break trust me as a big guy myself i. know what it's like the fart the far. blaming. it's in there it happens. if you're a big guy if somebody farted. in this room i'd you guys would be like. really you're being a fat guy on a plane. you're getting hit with the looks oh. yeah there's somebody [ __ ] their pants. everyone's looking at you. yeah.
yeah that could be true yeah yeah it. could be true man i think it's also it's. grandparents a lot too one more question. here we got. yo theo yo shane. got my other drip what's going on gang. baby bang gang salt life the whole nine. shane my question is tell the story. about how you made dave chappelle run i. think you've only told it on like dad. meat and only took like two minutes can. i get a full. in-depth story about how you and i think. it was okani's made show made chappelle.
run. that'd be great okay it's kind of a brag. yeah yeah i made chappelle laugh and. you're like jogged around a little oh. really uh. yeah i don't want to brag about it but. yeah all right so it was after we got. fired i got fired okay i it was like a. couple months later i went to london. me and my friend went to london just to. have a week off like chilling okay and. chappelle was in town. someone from the cellar hooked it up for. me to oh cypher sounds oh he looked it. up for me to.
go see the show and then chappelle knew. that i was there so he was like i want. to meet him. he wanted to meet me because he he's. interested in like the cantal culture. stuff. and we got to hang out and it was just. he like cleared everybody out it was. just me and my friend and dave mean. o'connor and dave chappelle just. drinking in london. and were you nervous there. no again it was all so surreal like it. was still so [ __ ] every single thing. that happened in like a four month span.
you know. and uh i just told them a story about. louie. ck because that was another guy i was. became friends with kind of not friends. but like you know. yeah you just you're in people's circles. now so you meet these people but there i. was just telling chappelle a story about. because somebody was taking pictures of. me. talking to chappelle. and he was kind of like. let's not get some pictures with this. guy right now. i mean like this isn't the best he's.
like i'm cool with cancer. yeah yeah yeah i don't we don't need. this i'm against cancer culture but i'm. not i don't want to be into pictures. like that picture like rumsfeld with. saddam hussein. we don't need this picture. and then uh. i told him a story about louie. coming into a it was at the patrice. o'neill benefit louie walked in. i was sitting with him and like a. photographer came over and i like leaned. to louie and i was like you want to get. a picture with me just like [ __ ] with. him i knew that's obviously a terrible. photo for both of us right it's like me.
and louie together so you want to get a. picture together he was like no. i just remember him. and as soon as i told chappelle that he. was like no. he literally started running around. it was great it was a cool moment. was there ever a comedian you heard. laugh at your show that you were like oh. that's awesome louie really louie i saw. i was at the cellar i saw him laughing. and i was just like dude this is. that was my guy that's the guy that's my. favorite yeah man his special online is.
so good he's so good it's so good yeah a. guy from here just went on the road and. opened up with him for a while i was. talking to him last night yeah chance. yeah that's awesome chance willie man. he's talented youngster. chappelle was another one that's like. that picture that we showed earlier that. was chappelle followed he went after me. oh cool and he got on it was like that. was funny and brought me back up. like that was really cool. that's cool man that was me doing the. louis story at the top. that's why i'm making the louis face oh. that's awesome oh yeah no one laughed at. that either.
yeah you got to fight for comedy man we. have to fight to be able to joke around. isn't that crazy. yeah. yeah especially when most people know. you're joking that there's this is the. new government. yeah for sure. everyone knows you're joking even the. people writing the articles they know. it's a [ __ ] joke they have a bigger. agenda they're trying to push yeah and. they're pretending what you're saying is. serious yeah and that's just what it is. and that's fine right in fact it kind of. wouldn't be as funny if people weren't. getting upset right that's kind of you.
know if we were all like nice pizza nice. swastika on that pizza dude right it'd. be like like if people thought that you. and i actually hated jewish people or. were fans of nazism. because we yes joked about or. if literally there would be zero. blowback for going on a podcast and. being like. here's some funny things about hitler. yeah it's not as dangerous it's not as. funny you know what i mean right that's. the point i'm trying to make right pizza. swastika. if those guys made that and sent that.
and everybody at little caesars and the. people who received it were like. that was funny nice right it wouldn't be. as fun right right the backlash on that. one is that makes it funny people be. like what i can't believe this. i didn't know there were nazis at little. caesars yeah that's great it's making it. funnier you know that's interesting i. can't believe there's so many undercover. nazis at the comedy cellar yeah it's. like what. do you think there's nazis at the comedy. cellar. that's the crazy thing is that some.
people think there really are it's like. i don't think there's one person that. voted for a republican yeah that's how. far away from fascism that is yeah yeah. yeah it's wild man it's a different time. dude. yeah i don't. i don't love talking about canceled. culture yeah kind of i guess sorry no no. no don't be sorry i'm kind of i mean i. did it i did it to myself i'm sorry. about that i'm kind of the culture guy. now so i don't know if you are it's also. just a fascinating topic right now i. know it's just it gets.
like when people feel like it'll start. to just suddenly that's who you'll. always be then i don't think so i don't. think so either i'm confident i'm not. yeah i'm confident i'm good enough at. stand up that i'm not going to be. the guy you know that about yourself. then you can you're going to be fine. yeah i i'm i am fine i'm not i'm not. worried about that. uh i never really was i never was like. this is gonna it'll always be part of my. story that's how i was introduced into. the comedy world yeah but. was there any asian comedians that were.
supportive. yeah. for sure that's cool for sure definitely. behind. right closed doors in fact everybody was. supportive behind the scenes right and. that's to my face too so i'm sure there. was a lot of them that weren't very. supportive that weren't just gonna walk. up to me like i've had problems with. people and i'm not going to walk up to. them be like you know you're a piece of. [ __ ] right so of course nobody's saying. it everything's kind of yeah uh but yeah. there were a lot of people for sure. that's cool man yeah i mean they i think. there were a lot of people that had. conversations with people that knew me.
that actually knew me that were like oh. okay. you know like if you see a headline. you're like oh [ __ ] this guy said what. and then you look it up or you call his. friend and you're like is he like a. racist dude and they're like no not at. all he was [ __ ] around yeah it. changes things you're just like oh all. right yeah cause i read an article that. said he was racist well it's weird. because it makes it scary to talk about. anything sometimes because you're like. and it's also as podcasters it's like. they could go back through anything and. take out three or four words from so.
many things for sure. absolutely. but. not many dudes are getting. i don't know snl seems like one of the. few jobs yeah that they would do that. for like they're not going to go back. and cancel guys. just willy-nilly they're not just gonna. like it's gotta be a big. you know if you're starring in a movie. then people might be like all right. let's take a look at him let's go listen. to a couple apps yeah see his episodes. well shane man uh thanks so much for. having me on the show last night and.
yeah i'm a fan i feel like yeah same man. it's going to work nice to meet you bro. yeah. and uh. yeah wish you the best of luck and all. of that kind of jazz good man. hopefully you don't get in trouble from. this episode i'm probably we might do. you think we will or no no really see. that's what's interesting that's i'm so. excited i'll say this when i got in. trouble when we would get done with the. episode i'd be like we're gonna get in. trouble. like. i know what it is so is it weird then. that i feel that way sometimes it's. never it's never like.
i've never gotten done with like an. episode where we said edgy things have. been like we're fine every time if i. think it's close i'm like. delete that huh that was bad we never. deleted but it's always like. this one no chance you're totally fine. we are you're fine i'm. i don't think i said anything that bad. sean what do you think we're good. riley mal you're an asian guy this is. the guy that did it to you how do you. feel. i feel great. if you remember what happened.
i do. do you. i do oh nice. well not nice but i'm saying i'm. surprised you know about it because. sometimes when people don't know about. it. particularly when they're asian yeah i. got to be like. well here's what i said. like i'll get done with a show and there. will be asian there's obviously there's. asian people that like comedy right they. come to shows and they're like you were. our favorite tonight what's your name. mark norman.
you know i mean you don't want to get. hit with the [ __ ] google in front of. you like they're like. what's your instagram i'll look it up. it's like shane gillis. that was that was the wildest part was. taking the train because i was poor when. i got canceled yeah so like that's the. only way i'd travel and like people. would be on the train like reading the. news and for three days i was the next. i was the news so people would literally. be like.
like on the subway like looking at me. sitting there like did you try to look. nicer when you were the news do you. notice at all honestly definitely you. definitely act nicer to everyone around. you when you're in trouble like that oh. for sure you want everyone to think like. he's a nice guy yeah it's [ __ ] up but. you definitely become. a lot now maybe it's because you're not. as stressed about minor things where you. would have an ego with somebody about. like. you just bump me or some [ __ ] like. that right when you're getting canceled. you're like.
i love you we love each other right like. it's like. you want everyone to like you because. you're getting. destroyed. publicly. maybe i wonder if that's why some. comedians always want everybody they. always. i wonder if there's some correlation in. there why a lot of comedians that's why. you want everybody to like you because. you feel like from the jump or something. you've you feel like a bad guy you feel. bad yes. maybe i think a lot of comedians feel. bad i feel bad yeah i feel bad most of. the time yeah. uh.
but yeah when you when you're getting in. trouble. you're nice to everybody it's very funny. yeah that's cool yeah it's funny knowing. that like. harvey weinstein was probably nice as. hell towards the end. yeah the whole having to explain people. what happened is a tough one. yeah yeah. do you feel some type of way over there.
riley mao. ah sometimes. no do you have any did you feel anything. about what shane did. oh um. no not really okay yeah i. you guys are good. i appreciate that i appreciate that of. course. i didn't mean anything i apologize. thanks theo that's a good one look at. this oh. how do you think that was going to go. here's the guy who did it there's that.
son of a [ __ ] who did it how do you. feel about it. here's the opportunity i can't even see. him yeah well i can and it's not. comfortable. my bad man that was funny. oh jesus christ dude yeah bringing me. home be like we've actually brought. in one of your victims. it's like that [ __ ] like where you go. sit with the murderers. family or whatever oh [ __ ] um. shane gilles man thanks so much for.
coming in bro thanks for your time dude. yeah this was great yeah this is great. thank you yeah you bet. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel i'm falling like these leaves i. must be. cornerstone. oh but when i reach that ground i'll. [Music]. but it's gonna take.
a little time. for me to set that parking brake. and let myself on my heart. shine that light on me. i'll sit and tell you my story. [Music].
just. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. hands. and these rails that i've been riding on. there. [Music].
