Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #655
I want to let you know that I'll be. doing a podcast taping this podcast uh. before a live audience. Um it's the only. time I've ever done that and it may be. the only time I ever do. I don't know. Uh but that will be with the champ Iron. Mike Tyson uh on May 5th in Los Angeles. at the Wilturn Theater um as part of the. Netflix is a jokefest. U and after that. it'll be on our channel so you can see. it there. You can get tickets at. theon.com.
Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. Uh. he's a host. He's a podcaster. Um he's. just a he's a Universal Smile Maker. You. know him from his hit show Impractical. Jokers. Uh and he's on tour doing. standup right now. Um always have a. blast with the one and only Mr. S. Volcano. [music]. on me. and I will [music] find a song. I've.
been singing. [music]. >> Yeah, we start filming um season 13 on. Thursday, >> too. That's another thing. Yeah. >> Wow. >> It's wild. It's been on for uh it's been. on the air for 15 years. >> And have you ever met like a child that. was like conceived during the show? Like, has that ever been a thing? >> Yeah, people I Yeah, people I know. people met and got married and I know I. know people tell me they to it all.
the time. >> Oh my god. [laughter] Really? >> I didn't think of that until one day I. was I was on the I was standing outside. my getting a tire a flat tire fixed. I. was standing on a sidewalk and a guy. pulled up at a light and he rolled down. the window. He's like, "Sh I love you, man." I was like, "Thanks, man." He. goes, "I was having sex with my my. girlfriend last night while the show was. on." And I was like, "Oh I never. really thought about that." So, I went. on to Instagram and I posted like, "Has. anyone ever had sex while my show was. on?" And it was like hundreds of. thousands of people. [laughter].
>> You don't I don't You don't think of it, you know? One time somebody sent me uh. uh porn of people and our show. was on on the TV in the background. >> What? >> Yeah. Not like a professional one. >> Oh, just amateur. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh Maybe one day you'll make the. big moves. [laughter]. >> Yeah, man. Hopefully we can show up on a. browser, you know, one day. >> Maybe one day, [laughter] bro. Oh my god, dude. And why do you think it. is that y'all's show is one of those. shows that's like, "All right, you know,
let's make a child of this or let's get. a little, you know, let's do the humpy.". >> It's like background, you know, like you. can put it on anytime. You don't have to. like follow anything. Just turn it on. and it's good like playing in the. background. It played all day long. So, it just it's like one of those things. like when I get to a hotel room, I turn. something on, it just like plays in the. background. That's it. I think people. just people going to go about their. business while it's on. You think you. think that's it? I I feel like. >> so I mean I don't think it's. intoxicating or anything. I don't think. it's like like oysters. [laughter]. >> Yeah, visual oysters.
>> Um no, I do think there's something. about y'all show that it's like it's the. one thing like spouses could probably. kind of agree on it, you know? >> Yeah. Yeah, we get that. >> There's not a lot, you know, and you. could if your kids are in there, you. know, everybody could kind of agree on. like, all right, we'll all kind of watch. this. There's few shows like that now. Yeah. No, you Yeah. That there's like a. ven diagram where the kids and the. parents both like it and they they. that's what we hear a lot too, which is. like it's a show that everybody can be. like, "Oh, I'll watch that." You know. what I mean?
>> Uh I guess. Huh. >> There's a new Little House on the. Prairie coming out. >> I think you and I have spoken about. Little House on the Prairie before. >> Did we? >> Yeah, I think we did with Michael Landon. cuz you were a big fan, right? >> Oh, yeah. >> Highway to Heaven. >> Oh, >> you're a Michael Landon fan or a Prairie. fan? >> The Highway to Heaven. It need and it. needs to be repaved, brother. I'll say. that. [laughter]. >> I mean, they got, you know what I'm. saying? >> What was it? He's Was he He was an angel. that was like in purgatory and his guy's. friend with the beard was another angel.
or that was. >> his friend was like an Oakland A's fan. So, >> yeah, but but was he an angel too, friend? Or was he a civilian? >> No, his friend was a civilian. >> and he could see Michael Landon. >> Yeah. And everybody could see him, but. he came back and then he realized that. Michael Land is an angel. Bring bring it. up Highway to Heaven. What was the. storyline on that? I haven't thought of. that since the last time you and I spoke. about it. And the time before that was. when I watched it. I It's [laughter]. >> Why do we Yeah. Yeah, dude. Well, I've. thought about it. But I can't believe. that you remembered that we had talked.
about it because I haven't talked about. it with someone in since then. >> Yeah, that's why I remember it. I'm. like, I just remembered you were making. me [laughter] laugh about it. >> Highway Heaven uh follows Jonathan. Smith, Michael Lannon, a probationary. angel. You're right. and Mark Gordon, an. ex- cop, as they travel America, helping. people in need on behalf of the boss, God. The series focuses on providing. divine intervention, love, and emotional. support to individuals, individuals. facing hardship. >> Yeah, that's a pitch. That's such a. funny pitch. It's like, okay, hear me. out. An angel and an ex cop. >> Yeah, >> that's [laughter] really good. I'm like,
I'm sold. >> Oh, yeah. Michael was one of a kind. I. mean, that show was great. But yeah, we. the Highway to Heaven, I think they put. a dang toll they put a toll booth on it. now. It's like. >> Yeah. You can't even I They couldn't. remake something like this today. >> You don't think? I don't know. Maybe I. think now actually is when they probably. can remake. Now I'm thinking about it. I. mean, I think you need a good Christian. drama. >> I think you need something that's. leading. I mean, it'd be nice, I think, if there were more influences towards. faith, probably. Um, but even even. having Little House on the Prairie back, it's going to be a vibe, dude. >> Oh, wait. So, they're bringing back. Highway to Heaven or Little House on the.
Prairie? >> Little House on the Prairie. >> Cuz what was that Highway to Heaven. right there just now on the right? What. was that? >> Oh. Oh, they tried to bring it back, bro. I didn't even know. >> No one knew. Nobody knew. And they. brought it back, it looks like, with an. African-American actress. Who was there? Barry Watson. Oh, Jill Scott. >> Jill Scott. >> Grammy Award winner Jill Scott and Barry. Watson. >> Wow. That came and went. >> Oh. >> Or is that coming out now? I'll give it. a whirl. >> It's 2021. >> Oh, all right. Well, you can't you can't.
I mean, there's co times. >> Yeah, people. And they were probably. shipping people to heaven during co. [laughter]. >> Yeah, we were the highway to heaven. during co. It [laughter] was a Fiser. fourlane going on, bro. Fouchy working. the toll booth, [laughter]. just getting the last dime out of you. just to just to hit the turnpike. Would. he get Was he working towards salvation? Michael Landon and I would have like was. he saving people to to get in God's good. graces? Like why was he he's. probationary? Yeah. I would like to know.
how that series ended. >> Yeah. What was the last. >> He had to have gone to heaven. If he. didn't, I mean, it would have been a. huge letdown, though. I mean, imagine he. just imagine they just left it open like. he they don't even tell us. >> Yeah. Let's go to the ending of it. The. series Highway Heaven did not have a. plan definitive series finale as it was. canceled due to low ratings. >> Wow. So, they didn't. >> That's always a bummer when you invest. in a show. >> and it just stops and you're like that's. that's that's hard.
>> Or when the whole nation invests in a. show too and it ends like Lost Lost. killed Lost probably. I think there's. people that died because loss wasn't it. didn't do anything for them. >> Yeah. There had to be some type of. butterfly effect. >> Was that. >> it was like it was their hope. I'm gonna. keep watching this and it's going to get. somewhere. >> That was me. That was me. I watched Lost. and at one point I thought Lost was the. greatest show I had ever seen in my. life. And then the last two or three. seasons it was like maddening. >> Yeah. >> I mean it was. >> that broke a lot of people. >> It's too convoluted. >> Oh people divorces. I'm the that broke.
People don't realize you don't realize. that if you invest that much with. somebody into something and if that. thing falls apart, you might you can. fall apart. >> You can fall. You can unravel. Your. whole life can unravel. Yeah. >> Doesn't take much these days. >> Yeah. It doesn't. >> Everyone's right there. All it takes is. like just uh the the creators of losses. stringing us along, telling us the whole. time they have exact intentions when. they don't. And it comes out. later. I don't know if anyone's ever. taken them to task for that. I'll tell. you another thing. I saw the finale. I. couldn't tell you what what I can't. explain to you right now.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. You can't even explain the ending. You did all that and you couldn't. explain the ending to us. >> Evangelene Lily. >> God bless her. Really? >> She's doing fine. I'm sure. >> Yeah. She's like uh Ant She's like in. Ant-Man, right? She's like Antwoman. >> Oh, she is? >> I think so. >> I didn't know. >> Yeah. >> That show was so good, dude. >> The flashbacks, the flash sideways, >> flash forwards, flash sideways. They. started flashing sideways. I'm like, what is that? >> I've never seen a flash sideways before. Lost. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. How do you flash sideways? They. did it. [laughter]. >> Yeah, they did it.
>> I'd like to flash sideways. >> today. I'd like to flash sideways today. >> Yeah, you're doing uh you said you're in. town. Um you you hitting the doctor. You. on the Are you on the You're hitting the. medical circuit right now? >> Yeah. Yeah, I'm hitting the medical. circuit. My doctor lives out here. My. boy from high school. >> Really? >> He's my primary. So, um. >> And it's [clears throat] your friend. from high school. >> Yeah, it's my boy from I've known him. since we were 13. >> Wow. >> Yes. So, shout out James Lo. Uh, >> James Lo J. >> So, uh, >> I don't know if I'd want to go to my. friend and let him, but I guess if it's.
your boy, you can trust him with. anything. >> Yeah, that's where it started out of. like I. >> You can show him your body and whatever. >> No, I I haven't shown him my body and. that would be where I probably that's I. understand what you're saying. Right. there is where I thought I would have to. do it this week. Show them my body. because these like we had a list of. things to do. I got like what's called a. DEXA scan, a CT angagram. I got a blood. draw for a full panel plus a cancer. screening. I got an MRI today. I'm doing. everything. And then he it said in. there, uh, what is that? It said in.
there, um, >> that's him, huh? >> That's me. [laughter]. >> Oh, it is. >> That's him. >> That's you again. >> He pulled him up in a tux at 18 years. old. >> Dude, every time you hear me bring up. pictures of guys that I cannot even. believe it's you. And it's you every. time. [laughter]. >> I know. Um, I uh it said physical. So, I. was going to at one point I was like, "You don't have to like you don't have. to hold my sack or anything, do you?". But then I just let it go and then he. didn't say anything. And then it was it. was fine. >> But do you think you're missing out on. something that's important information. or something just because you guys are. like kind of shy or whatever?
>> I was I was wondering if if in general. like when was the last time you got a. physical. >> a physical? Uh you have to do it for the. movie or something like that. Maybe. >> probably I mean I wouldn't bet it. probably wasn't too long ago, but I've. gotten all the blood panels. I get them. done all the time. >> Yeah. Yeah. So I I just don't know if. that's antiquated like them like holding. you and saying cough or dropping. I. don't I don't really hear people talk. about that anymore. Yeah. Hold them in. Yeah. Call your stepfather a queer or. whatever. That's not. >> That's not Yeah. It's not It's I mean, it's not a medical term. They're taking.
liberties. >> Yeah. [laughter] They're taking. liberties, dude. You're like, "I don't. think. >> I cough, but call my dad a queer." Trust. me, just do it. It's like. >> Yeah. It's Yeah. It'll release some. stress. You're like, "Okay.". >> I don't know what they're looking for, but if he didn't touch my balls, then I. guess like he's not going to find. anything there. >> Yeah. >> So, like I guess that was uh an. oversight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, I guess what are they checking for. when they hold your balls like a hernia? >> Well, I I mean, look, I think on. >> I don't lift anything. >> on. [laughter]. I got a bad back. Doctor says I can't.
even lift my [laughter] balls, dude. >> Bro, let's check it right now. Yes, it. is a standard medical procedure for a. doctor to hold the scrotum while asking. you to cough and check for an and I get. that. But that seems hella um it. seems like the Catholic Church is. involved in it a little bit just. [laughter] as a little backsplash of. uncertainty. But what uh how do we selfch checkck our. own balls? That's what I would look up. >> Yeah, maybe a self exam I could do. >> because there's probably time, man, that.
we know how to do this just because. there's a lot of times I'm sitting in a. lobby or I'm chilling, you know? Yeah. And then you don't know what's going on. down there. >> Well, it's like I might as well check it. out. Yeah. There's times just. >> Oh, yeah. We could check all the time. >> Yeah. >> If we know what we're doing, we're we're. check we're checking without knowing. usually. >> Yeah. Usually I'm feeling around my. wall. I was like, "Oh, what is that? Don't touch that." There's like that. part there. It's like. >> this the thing attached to the ball. that's like weird. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, that's the HVAC. area. >> It's all white. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. I'm not certified like you know in inner.
bag. I don't really know anything in the. inner bag. >> Oh, there's definitely Dude. Yeah. There's moments where you're like, "Oh, what is that?" And then you're like, [laughter]. >> "That's where it gets scary, bro.". >> And you're like, "Oh, that just feels. like" and like it's like feels like a. Oh, that's just a skittle or something. >> I I still won't go. >> I still won't go if I feel like I have a. like a a taste like a rainbow in like if. I have a Skittles in there or something, I would just be like I would sooner. Google it. There's something I just I'm. not really He would have had to probably.
take his balls out for me to feel. comfortable. Oh, that's fair. >> Yeah, >> dude. That should be something you guys. do for the show for like one of the. things. >> Yeah, we'll do that. >> Get him into that [laughter] center, you. know. >> Yeah. I got my doctor in there and show. his balls on our show. It makes sense. >> We're just, you know, now with the. doctor's got to do, you know, get him. to, you know, I need you to hold your. balls while you hold my balls. You know. what I'm saying? And we sing a little. bit of Bruno Mars, you know. >> Yeah. Oh, Bruno's good, man. >> Oh, dude. It remind you, you had a story. about Bruno, remember? He you went to. his show. You.
>> Yeah, he was he was dope. He he was like. uh it was a bit back but he was like. bartender for us backstage and then. during his finale he was like yelling. out quotes from my show like in the. middle of like uh you make me feel like. I'm locked out of hell and he just. thought and then there's pyrochnics and. then he just started screaming out lines. from the show and I was like I can't. believe this. I actually missed it. I. was like with people and and like I. didn't hear him say it and they were. freaking out. Oh, I think I if I told.
this last time, but I was like I. remember like I was like four or five. people. I was with my girl and and and. and and the guys and and they went nuts. and I thought they were just going nuts. for the song lock and I was like wow. they're really big fans like that's like. they were like overhyped you know. obviously they just heard him quoting us. so they were reacting like that and I. was like this song is good but I like. they're really in they're into it and. then like a few minutes later like I. can't believe he. >> he [laughter]. were you was getting something. No, I. was right there with him, but I didn't. hear like there was fireworks going off.
and I didn't hear it. And then I was. like And then they were like, "I can't. believe who's quoted you." I'm like, "You quoted me?". >> And you didn't even know you were right. there. >> Is this real? >> That's real. You could pull off It looks. It looks like AI, right? That's real. You could pull off a hat like that. >> There's Bruno Mars. I could never pull. off a hat like that. >> Never. >> Joe and S came down to the show in. Albany tonight. Al Benny. >> Oh, it's Albany. >> Albany. Albany. Sorry. And if you ain't. seen the show in practical jokes, you're. missing out. Apparent apparent. apparently. >> Yeah, apparently. >> apparently Myrr was there.
>> Yeah, Mr. got there late and and uh. after it was [laughter] over. He got. stuck in traffic and he like drove eight. hours and missed it. [laughter]. >> I swear to God, bro. >> He drove I'm not I'm not No, he might. Honestly, honestly, I think he drove. like 13 hours. >> I don't know why. I forget the. circumstances surrounding it, but he got. there late and just missed the whole. thing. >> Damn, dude. >> Gosh. >> Yeah, I couldn't wear a hat like that. Yeah, I couldn't wear hat like that. I. wouldn't be able to do it good. Um, so. we don't forget this because I do think. this is important. What can we do to. check out our nuts to make sure that.
we're okay? What do we do? Actually, >> cut this first. >> Uh, using both hands. and I'll just cut my waist. Don't do me. lower than the waist. I'm going to check. while we're here. >> I can't see it, but I'll you tell me. Maybe you give me a play by play. All. right. Like what do you feel? What are. you feeling for right now? [laughter]. >> What do you What is it? >> I don't Oh, I think I feel like I'm in. like the cottage cheese section right. now. You [laughter] know what I'm. talking about? >> Well, well, ultimately though, what are. you check What are you looking for? Are. you looking for a hernia? Are you.
looking for a skittle? Like, what are. you what are you. >> I'm looking for cancer, bro. >> Oh, that's what we're doing. That's a. That's cancer when I. >> doing cancer screening. Yeah, I'm not. going to waste my time just feeling. >> You might as well screen for everything. If you're feeling around, just do a full. thing. Screen for everything, >> dude. I can't do a full panel or. whatever. I don't. >> know. >> You could do Can you tell the difference. between a hernia and cancer? >> I know. I will say like it is weird with. both hands on on your balls while I'm. talking to you. [laughter]. >> I agree. Yeah, normally it would be. >> like when we first met. >> Well, if you would give [laughter].
if you would give me a second. I'm. trying to see if I have cancer. [laughter] Okay. >> What is this? What is this? What is this. uh animation though? What is Why is it. no sack? >> I don't know. That's Dixar, I think. [laughter] Yeah, >> that was a cheap joke, but thank you for. supporting me. >> No, it was good, man. >> Take me just getting on the wording. again one more time. Go back. Perform a. testicular self exam monthly. Oh god, dude. I am I am 400 months behind.
schedule. Ideally during or after a warm. shower when a scrotum's relaxed. Yeah, you Oh, if you got that hard bag, bro. >> Yeah, you can't do it in like the. winter. >> Yeah. If you feel like it's like kind of. like a feels like a bit of like a really. ripe avocado, you got to back off the. sack. >> Yeah, that's right. >> Using both hands, gently roll each. testicle between your thumb and finger. to check for hard lumps. Smooth bumps. That's a unique term. >> That's got to be an oxymoron. Smooth. bumps. How can you find that? That's. crazy. >> Yeah. What's a smooth bump? Is it by.
definition a bump not smooth? Hard. lumps, smooth bumps. The Ovon story. [laughter]. >> Yeah. my journey through chemotherapy or. changes in size, shape, or consistency. >> What do they mean changes in size? Like it's like a. >> I guess if one's gotten really like one. sounds like it like its throat's clogged. or whatever. >> Oh, there's always one bigger than the. other, isn't there? Or is that breasts? Isn't that true? For balls and breasts, there's always one that's bigger. >> Yeah, I think that's true. I'm going to.
read this one part off and then we'll. get to that. Hard P-sized lumps or. nodules? a new dull ache or feeling of. heaviness in the lower abdomen or groin. So that I think is more for hernia and. then significant swelling or a sudden. change in size. >> So I guess the good thing is if you do. it repeatedly, you'll start to That's. the thing. You probably have to do it. repeatedly so you get an idea. >> You catch it. >> Yes. You have a baseline. >> You have a baseline. >> Cuz otherwise if you just wandering into. your nuts with your hands or whatever, you everything in there. >> Yeah. You don't know what's in there at. all. Yeah. >> No. Neither testicle nor breasts are. always perfectly symmetrical. one side.
is typically slightly larger or. positioned differently in most people. H. and the testicles usually hang at. different levels. That gives them also. the illusion of seeming like they're. different sized. >> It'd be funny if we didn't have a sack. and they just hung the like in that like. how the hand was holding the two. individual testicles. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. That would be weird. >> That'd be very weird. >> Just like hung like on a string like on. strings. >> like just kabangers [laughter] like. >> remember those those cabbangers? Uh uh.
uh. >> Yeah. When we were little, like it was. like two balls on the strings and you. were like pop and they were like. [laughter] they were called cababangers. >> Bring them up them kabangers, bro. >> Yeah. Get those kabangers up there. >> You don't remember those? >> I never seen those in my life. >> What? Bro, they still sell them now, >> buddy. I promise you. Where? Man, dude, I'm so I'm I'm sorry cuz like I had some. really nice times with those. >> with them. Come back. >> Yeah. Like they really when you get when. you when you know what you're doing. If. you can see a video of somebody doing. it, when [snorts] you know what you're.
doing, it's it's a it's a real treat. >> Oh, here's a video or commercial for. them. >> Smitties. >> Smitties has them. They're the. originalers, and they're guaranteed safe. for play and unbreakable, so they'll. never chip, peel, or shatter. Get the. original Kurbangers at Smitties and get. set for some fast action. >> Oh, you knock your freaking tooth out. You knock your neighbor's nuts off with. that. >> They were like little like uh nunchucks. Oh, I did used to wish that like your. nuts had like a they were like secret. hearing device or whatever. Like you. could throw roll one somewhere into a.
room and it would be able to hear. >> That's dope. >> What was going on? >> That's really good. >> Like a recon nut or whatever. >> Yeah. Like a James Bond nut. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's good. >> You know, the the sack is a good place. to hide something. >> Oh yeah. >> You know, if you can get like some type. of surgery where you get like a It's. almost like a You remember what you. remember what they call ruse? Kangaroos. the sneaker. >> Ruse. Yeah. >> Remember? And so the thing about. kangaroos or ruse and go is every single. sneaker had a like a hidden pocket on. it. >> Oh, that's right.
>> Or on the side. And they should bring. those back, you know. But that' be like. you can do that with your pouch like. with the sack and then you could hide. stuff in there. >> Yeah. Well, I bet you could get that. modulated, bro. If you got your nuts. modulated, bro, [laughter]. >> you could do that in a. heartbeat. Or Yeah. Get you a little. side. Get you a little pouch almost. Or. get like almost like a little fanny pack. put on it. >> Yeah, >> they should make a little fanny pack. that goes around your. >> This is not a bad idea if we could find. a safe medical way to do it because you.
ever throw on like a pair of sweats and. there's no pockets and you leave the. house and you got no pockets. >> When you have no pockets, I feel like I. might have to go back. >> Like I I I will not buy pants without a. proper pocket. Like you know what I. mean? >> Yeah. Well, of course I know what you. mean. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then and then and then. and then but if you had a sack that held. stuff like a pouch, >> you feel like. >> you wouldn't have to think about it. anymore. You could throw on any pants. you want. You could flippantly throw on. pants before you leave the house, not. even think twice about it. >> Yeah, that's true. Yeah. If you're like, "Oh, I just Yeah, I got enough room for. just a couple zans.".
>> Or you could put like your license in. there, a key key fob. >> I think putting your license in your. nuts is crazy work, bro. >> Yeah, you're right. But the whole. concept is So you could have gave me. It's just, you know, we're just trying. I mean, I don't think we're putting. anything in there really, but. >> Well, here's the thing. If I don't have. >> You're going to put a Zin in there. Two. Zins. I think you could put I would I. would be careful putting two Zins in. there. That's the tobacco. >> Yeah. >> You are took it to another level. Now. you're going to get ball cancer. You. know what I'm saying? All I'm doing is. trying to have identification on me. >> Yeah, you're [laughter] right, bro.
You're right, man. I'm really going kind. of like my separate way. But. >> also, I didn't never got that enhanced. license for travel. So now, just in. case, I always got to bring my passport. with me to the airport. I'm always. afraid I'm going to forget it at home. and then it's going to be lights out cuz. I can't get on a thing. So, I would put. my maybe my P I You have to fold it up. It might be uncomfortable, but I would. maybe permanently carry my passport in. my sack. >> Bro, you can't f Dude, think about this. though, S. I hear you and I love what. you're saying, but you're right. >> To fold your passport. >> Stupid. Yeah, I know. It's too much. I. couldn't do it. >> It's not It's not built to be folded.
But here's what I do think is Yeah. If. you had your nuts or whatever Yeah. If. you could put two I'm trying to give you. a couple couple zens in your nuts or. whatever. A couple Alps in there. Um, >> you do zing the. >> I don't do it. >> Me neither. I don't know. >> But I think it would be crazy if they're. like, "Yeah, we we think you have uh. like gum cancer in your nut." Like. you'll get like tooth and gum cancer, right? [laughter]. >> They're like, "Somehow you got mouth you. got gingivitis of the balls." [laughter]. >> Somehow you got mouth cancer in your.
nuts. You're like, "Yeah, it's cuz I've. been zen.". >> Yeah. >> Through my magical nut pouch. [laughter]. >> But dude, the the the uh no two nuts are. the same. You know that no two nuts. actually are the same. >> They're like snowflakes. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Pretty cool. You know what time it is? You know what. time it prize picks. America's number. one sports picks app. The app is really. easy to use. That's why I like it. To.
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That's takera.com for 15% off with code. theo after your purchase. They will ask. how you heard about them. Help support. our show and tell them we sent you. Change it up for yourself. No more. nicotine, no more caffeine. Ultra. You dance? >> No, dude. But I will tell you this. my. friend and I maybe almost. probably like maybe 30 months ago or. whatever, we went to the park and we saw.
uh and we watched the people do the Z do. the Za dancing. [laughter]. >> The za. >> did you 30 months ago you went to the. park and watched people salsa dance. >> and bro we watched at first we were like. whatever bro let's don't look too long. because it's just me and him and we're. not with anybody or whatever. >> But you it was just you you mean like. there was like a competition or like a. dance party or something? Yeah, there's. a dance party they had over there by the. lake. It's over there by Centennial Park. in uh in uh Nashville. You can probably. look it up. And so they Yeah, just like. a lot of Latinos and a couple of like. Indian guys trying to pretend they were.
Mexican or whatever, like putting. [snorts] on like. >> Yeah. But they they have their own. really good dance routines, too. You. ever see them? They go they go hard. >> Yeah. >> Like those those like like those. routines where everyone's doing the same. like this choreographed. It's like she's. all that. >> You see like an Indian wedding? It's. like she's all that. Is it like. >> I feel like what the the like the Indian. weddings I've seen in passing on like. YouTube or like in in Instagram and you. see them d and like they all like know. the exact That's so cool. >> That's my cool huh. >> for like a a a dance to bust out and. everyone does it together.
>> Yeah. >> You know, >> dude, that's a good Yeah, man. It's. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I went out dancing last night. >> You went out dancing last night? >> I felt like my mom in the 80s. >> You're lying. >> I swear to you, I went out dancing. >> You felt like your mom. You wore a. brooch. You wore a brooch. >> I No, but I I do love a brooch, though. Me, too. I do. I got my wife a brooch. recently. >> You did? >> I swear to God. Yeah. >> That's awesome. >> I love it. So, brooches, they're just. wonderful. I think they're like they. they're not in I don't know if they're. really in style anymore, but uh they're. timeless. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think when you see. someone with a brooch, you think.
>> Well, sometimes you think like somebody. passed away and there's like a little. image of them in it, right? Sometimes. like a locket. >> Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. But. sometimes it's just decorative. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> You think this almost like it feels like. a little bit of royalty. Like. neighborhood royalty. >> I like it. Yeah, it does feel like. something like a little bit of like a. like a like a badge. Yes. >> Yeah. Right. >> That's what it is. Oh, yeah. They got. some great broches. >> There's a place here called um the Five. Spot is a bar and on Mondays they have. Mottown Mondays and that's all I need to. hear. >> Yeah.
>> I love it. It was It was like it's soul. music, Mottown music. And we went last. night. It was one of my friends. birthdays. We went and I was like I. don't go out cuz I you know at home I'm. just working in the kids and stuff. So I. was like let's go. Let's go. Dude, I. danced for like a good couple hours last. night. I don't remember the last time I. did that. Probably like at a wedding or. something, but I was like in the wild. dancing. >> No way. >> Yeah, >> dude. That's so fun. And everybody was. just dancing, having fun. >> Everybody Yeah. The place wasn't that. crowded and every last person there was. dancing. >> Get down on it. They play stuff like.
that. You talking about cooling the. gang? >> Yeah. >> Come on, babe. I love it. >> Yeah. You It's hard. Get down. That song. comes on by Cooling the Gang. You I have. to dance. Yeah. >> I don't know about you. So, you don't. dance? Uh, you know what? Here's the. thing. I just forget about it. You know, I think if I had a D like someone like I. wouldn't mind having a date and we go to. the um. square dancing. There is a Tuesday night. place here that does square dancing. I. think it's the American Legion or. something where they teach how to square. dance. My friend Chris just went last. week.
>> and line dancing like that. >> Yes. So, I would like to learn that. >> Yeah. >> And then uh. >> that's a nice entry point. >> Yeah. And just a couple of twosteps get. you feeling like you you're part of the. group. >> Yes. to get me out. I used to love to. dance. Now sometimes I think I feel a. little bit like sometimes I have some. social anxiety about that. >> It's hard to dance now if people are. like Yeah. You can't just let loose. >> Yeah. Honestly, I'm afraid Yeah. somebody will video me and probably make. fun of me, which is fair. I'm okay if. they make fun of me. Okay. But just. doing it like like there's some part of.
it I don't like. And I think it's. [clears throat] just that uh. >> I don't know. I Here's the thing. I. don't want to see a video of how bad I'm. dancing because I want to still believe. in my head that I'm a good dancer. >> Sure. Sure. Sure. >> That's what it is. So, don't take that. ability away from me. >> by like using me to just to burn. me one. >> I would love to watch you sincerely. dance, >> okay? >> You know? >> Okay. >> You know, I would just love to see you. like genuinely dancing and see what that.
looks like, >> okay? you know what your rhythm is, what. your moves are, like how you get down. >> I think a lot of like that when the. blues would come on, bro, I get out. there and dance to the blues. They used. to have a place called Taby's Blues Box. over there in downtown Baton Rouge, bro. And I'd get out there, bro, >> and they had a little bit of sliced ham. or something over there on the side, you. know? >> They little like they put out a little. like uh a little like all you can eat. like type of thing or something. >> It was like It wasn't all you could eat, but it was like you can eat a little. [laughter]. >> You know what I'm saying? But they had. like a they had food. People would dance.
to the blues and eat ham. >> Yeah. They had a dude sitting by it. So. you know you couldn't had that much. >> Oh. So it's like he served it. He like. [clears throat] you like like when you. get up at a wedding at a buffet like and. they slice it for you like that. >> Oh yeah. Like No, no, no. >> The ham steak. >> No, this was just kind of regular ham. Not. >> like deli ham. >> No, it was like a it was like a few. stairs up from deli ham. >> So somewhere between deli ham and and a. ham steak. >> Yeah. Like neighborhood ham or whatever. or like ham that had been kind of. trucked in. It had been flown in.
>> Okay. >> But it had come on a truck. >> But how do they prepare it? Like with. some like a glaze? >> No, they could just cooked I think they. cooked it. >> Just cooked ham. Yeah. >> And then and then the while the blues. Yeah. while the blues was. >> And they had some crackers out there. They just had a little setup. But they. had a dude. You could tell you couldn't. have a lot because they had a dude. sitting by it. Like they had. [clears throat] like we're going to pay. this dude to sit by it. >> Yeah. Because that's unfortunately what. happens in society. If you just have. unchecked ham, >> it's going to be like a Black Friday. situation. [laughter] You know, you ever. see when they give the tote bags at. Trader Joe's, people just become animals.
>> and you can't ham. People are already. sad listening to the blues. You can't. just put out ham, they're going to run. for that. It's a comfort food. >> Oh, bro. Yeah. There was one one song. was so sad and I had a mouth full of. ham. And it's hard to cry when. your mouth's full. [laughter]. >> You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. >> You remember being a kid, >> you can't cry and chew. >> Yeah. >> You couldn't Yeah. You can't cry and. chew. You can't you can't cry and eat. It's. >> a fat it was a fat boy's dilemma, bro. You [laughter] know, >> you really can't though. >> That's why you can't be sad and chubby,
dude. Because that's the dilemma that. God sets you in. Like, [laughter] you're. going to be able to have as much little. ham as you want, but you ain't going to. be able to be sad about it. >> Yeah. [laughter] That's That's why. people eat to stop crying. >> Oh, dude. Yes. Why is it that should be. written on our American flag? >> Think about something like a with a huge. hogy hysterically crying and eating it. I've never seen it. It's a It's a It's a. visual I've never seen. People can't cry. and eat at the same time. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> It's like sneezing and uh or it's like.
uh. >> Yeah. Right. >> Whatever it's called. Sneezing and like. wishing for or what. >> something. And I thought it was. something with sneezing. >> It's like rubbing your belly and like. >> and chewing gum. No. >> Yeah. And uh. >> and patting your head. >> Flirting with your neighbor's wife or. something. It's just You can't do it. all. >> Yeah. It's like. >> Yeah. Patting your head. Rubbing your. head. rubbing your belly and checking. your balls for cancer. [laughter] Cannot. do this at the same time. >> Well, I went on, >> dude. Thank you, bro. H Thank you for. making me laugh today. I appreciate it, man.
>> Of course. And. >> I appreciate it. Um I want to ask you, so you because your podcasting has. changed recently and I wanted to talk. about this. I wanted to know why because. you had two podcasts. You had one that. you got you were doing with uh Chris. Dafano. >> Yes. Hey babe. >> Hey babe. And then you had your own. I. had one with Joe D. Roza called Taste. Buds. >> And you have one Joe D Roza called Taste. Buds. And Joe moved to Austin. Yes, he. did. >> So that kind of brought that one to an. end. >> Yeah. And Chris moved up like state or. whatever, but. >> Oh, he's living up state. >> Yeah. But I've I'm telling you cuz we.
when we put these on hiatus, we said to. the fans like they're just going on. hiatus. It's been a couple of years now, but people had think we like we lied. We. had no intentions of We have full. intentions of bringing them both back. No joke. Like I talked to both of them, both of them recently. Chris texted me. two days ago and said, "You want to do. like a short run of them just to put it. back out there?" And I'm like, "Yeah.". And I talked to Joe, he said the same. So, we really are going to bring it. back. But I got a new talk show like pod. coming out called Minute, which is like. short for minutia. >> And it's like big guest, small talk, but. it's like it's like absurd. It's like uh.
it goes in and out of conversation and. sketch comedy. It's like something just. completely different. >> Huh. >> Yeah. Like it's uh it's it's. offthe-wall. It's really funny. I shot. like 10 episodes so far. >> Oh, you already did? >> Yeah, I shot 10. I'm going to do them by. seasons, like 10 episode seasons. So, I'm going to release it like probably. sometime in May and then kick it off. It's It's been so much fun. You got I. talked to you about you got to come on. >> Yeah, I'm going to come in. >> When you come through, you know, New. York, >> I'm going to come and do one, >> please. I would love to have you. We. will have a lot of fun. >> I'd love to be on there. It's really. different like it's not this, you know,
it's. >> Well, yeah, that's what I'm curious. about. So, like Yeah, because you're. saying like it also involves improv. to. what like how does that kind of look or. a little bit or like we're like. >> it's like nothing to is that we do and. say is to be taken seriously. It's all. just we're doing stick the whole time. and like we're in on the joke and it's. like but it's edited really fun. It's. like edited in like little chunks and. it's like to look like it's on an old. VHS tape. It's like it's it's really I. don't know. It's just something I just. made up like a couple years ago when we. went on hiatus. I'm like, I want to do. something completely like solo that has.
like a really specific sensibility to. it. >> So, it doesn't I mean, this isn't a. great pitch. It doesn't sound funny, but. you know, it's really it actually really. is unique. I'm I'm super excited for. people to see. >> You do a lot. I mean, those are your. wheelhouses, you know, comedy and. improv. And so, to have some of that. together, I think it definitely makes. sense. >> How was I mean, >> it sounds cool. >> If you if you talked about this enough, no problem. But like, how was your. experience filming the movie and stuff? Did you guys improvise a lot on that? Um, I I think I didn't know exactly what. was going on to be honest with you.
Like, bro, until the day we showed up. there on set, >> got to be nerve-wracking, right? >> I thought it was all emails. So, the day. we showed up on set, I was like, "No. way." Everybody was being real serious. about this, you know? [laughter]. >> And it was a real movie. There's like. people walking around. There's like one. guy just looking for something. Yeah. You know, there's like some guys like. dressing somebody up like in a uh, you. know, a um outfit or whatever. You know, it's like we need. >> You had the full trailer, like all that. >> Oh, everything. like electrical lines. It's like don't you know and people. >> you like you you funded it too like you. guys made it yourself.
>> We wrote it and funded it and. everything. >> So isn't that like how like. nerve-wracking was that to like be like. all right whether we're going to this is. going to do well going get investment. back? But even the fact that you've. never done that before and then to walk. in on a production that like that size. and then be at the like the person. running it basically. >> That's a good question dude. I think. honestly like I kind of struggled with. like that you know I want to be in like. you know I'm very particular about what. I put out in a way like I just I wanted.
to try and be true to myself however. >> right. >> and it wasn't like bad or anything it. was just different right and I had and I. and going back I wish in some places I. wish I would have spoke up more and in. some places I wish I would have spoke up. less. >> it's it's going to be a learning. experience we made the one movie and it. was a learning experience for me like I. didn't like a lot there's a lot of. things cuz I would change afterward. >> But did a lot of people go see your. movie? Yeah. >> Yeah, it was out when CO hit. We were in. theaters when the world shut down. So, we were expanding cuz like we were doing. we had a great per the average. So, they. didn't give us a wide wide roll out, but.
we were uh we were the highest per. theater average. So, it kept expanding. week over week. So, we were heading into. our fifth week. They were going to give. us like a few more weeks and then it. shut down. Yeah. It's kind of nuts. >> But, yeah, I don't have a ton of ego in. it. I think it was awesome. I I learned. so much. Did you have nerves like every. day or did they that go away? >> No, I just. >> cuz I would just be like, >> did I have nerves? >> For for sure. Some scenes I did. Some. scenes I just got to be David's. >> I'm like the uh ball. I'm like say if.
somebody's bouncing a ball off a wall, I'm kind of the wall, right? >> Sure. >> And then it kind of ch over time it. changed a little bit where I'm like. sometimes I'm catching the ball and. throw it back. Yeah. So, I think it was. just moments of confidence um when my. confidence would feel okay. >> Yeah. >> And uh and learning as I went, but I I. mean I'd take an act class over the. years. I'd done a lot of practice scenes. and but in the end, you just want. to have fun with your buddy and you want. to come up with what's funny. So, we'd. we'd be sitting there improving a lot. like throwing ideas and sp like we'll. try this one. And then sometimes you. want to hold your idea because you don't.
want to tell them because you want to. say it in real time. >> So, it's actually funny. Yeah. Yeah. >> Did a lot of that. >> Yeah. But looking back, I think there's. so many just little moments like just. seeing like Spade like just trying to. stay warm because we had a days like we. were supposed to shoot during the co. during the um fires. The. you know. >> Oh, dude. >> Whoever it was, somebody that Spencer. Pratt hates tried to burn down the. Palisades, you know, [laughter]. >> and while all that was happening, you know, >> our movie was supposed to shoot, but.
once you've already paid and got. locked in, you're kind of locked in. >> Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And so we like one. day there was like 60 mph winds and we. didn't need wind in the movie or. whatever. >> Right. Right. You have to it has to be. in it. >> We can't afford a redo. So right, you. know, it's like this thing. >> It's 60 mph wind. [laughter]. >> This scene of you guys like in the park. and it's a tornado for no reason. Like. do you do you make mention of it in the. movie or is it just like whipping winds? >> Oh, there's just whipping winds. this. one [laughter]. this one day at this gas station. Um the.
guy uh Stevie Janooki, Steve Little, he's from uh Eastbound and Down. >> Oh god, dude. He is the funniest guy. I. mean, that character. >> the the the outtakes from Eastbound and. Down are the I think probably the. greatest thing ever ever on recorded. You you worked with him. How is he in. real life? >> Oh, dude. I mean, it's literally like. the nicest guy you could ever be around. >> He's so funny. It's like for somebody. that has such an effect like being. funny, it's almost like he doesn't want.
to have too much of an effect in any. other way. Not he just he's a gentle. guy. That's what I mean. >> Okay. >> He's a gentle guy. He doesn't He's not. trying to stir the pot or anything, >> but you put him right there in the. middle of a porridge and cut those. lights on and dang it's. >> he he made he had you laughing. >> It's a beautiful soup that guy makes. >> Yeah, that's awesome, man. >> So, yeah, just little things like that, I think. and looking back and like um. >> so did the the fires delayed you? >> No, we just had to like move a little. bit over this hill, you know, and like.
we'll probably be safe over this hill or. whatever. And I'm like that sounds. >> Oh, it was like during them. >> Well, yeah. Yeah, that's Oh, yeah. It. was during them. >> Oh my god, dude. No, when you're like. it's like it's was spreading across. town like. >> Yeah. There'd be times you'd be going. across Yeah. And you'd see just. >> Oh my god, dude. >> You'd see a bird fly by and he was on. fire. Whatever. Yeah, I [laughter] was. like, >> "Stop, bro." He's like, "I got to get. somewhere." You know? He's like, "My. wife's pissed or whatever." You're like, "All right, just do it.". >> Oh, man.
>> But yeah, I didn't even think to say. that. Yeah, the fires are going on. So, there'd be days you're driving home and. shit's just fire everywhere. >> That's messed up. >> It was crazy. >> We had to um I have I I executive. produced this show that that started. that came out this week actually. It's. called uh Foul Play with Anthony Davis, AD, NBA player. >> Oh, yeah. He played it for the Pelicans. >> He played He's in the I was I think he's. on Dallas now. He got traded from the. Lakers. Traded him. >> Yeah, I think so. But uh but um so he. has this show. It's like a It's like a.
punct, right? Uh it started last week. We had to pull a we had to pull um a bit. from the first episode, 16 episodes. It's just uh and it rated it just aired. It rated like the highest new series on. on TBS in like years. But so we had this. thing where Floyd Mayweather was the. guest and he was helping us do this like. prank on this person. So this this. family lost their house in a fire. This. was before the fires. >> Okay. >> Family like the the setup was that this. family lost their house in a fire and.
Floyd Mayweather held this u charity. barbecue for them to get like uh like. with the community to get like their. belongings back. So people brought them. like gifts and stuff. So they got all. their um like their housewares and. things back and like people are donating. this stuff at the barbecue at the. charity barbecue and then they it all. their stuff catches fire from the. barbecue and burns again. So like they. just lost their. >> I feel like I almost saw this dude. >> It was the funniest thing ever. Uh and.
Floyd Floyd Mayweather is in on it. But. then when they then the fires happened. like we're like we can't we can't put. this in. It's like a it's too. insensitive. So they pulled it, but it. was like it was supposed to be in the. first episode. It's really funny. But uh. >> and Draymond Green was there. >> Yeah, he was in another one. >> He's always fighting. He's always. hitting white dudes all the time. >> Is he? I don't know. >> He used to be anyway. He might have. gotten healed or whatever. Might have. gotten saved. >> What? Yeah, I haven't I haven't heard. much about him hitting hitting. >> He was just hitting whites or off whites.
or whatever. You know, [laughter] he's. hitting like mixed dudes or like it was. like mixed and down, you know? It just. seemed like a lot of times he wouldn't. crack like a real [laughter]. solid black dude. Now, I will say that, bro, and respect him. He's a champion. and he he whooped my ass, but he uh he. definitely punched, mixed, and down, I. think. [laughter] You know, >> um but dude, that's so cool. What's. Anthony Davis like? Does he have a big. personality? >> Yeah, he's dope. He's really fun. He The. reason we end up doing this cuz he was a. guest on our show. >> and uh we did a bunch of stuff with him.
and then he was like, I love this. He's. like, I love this more than basketball. He's like, this is what I really want to. do. I swear to God. He's like, I this is. what this is where I really wish I could. do. And we're like, why don't we develop. something together? And then we did and. got picked up. >> Foul Play. >> Foul Play. >> That's awesome. So people can watch this. on TBS. >> Yeah, it's on every week now, >> dude. That's great, bro. Um I'll share. something about it as soon as our show's. over. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Um dude, >> that we got and I told you we got I. start filming Jokers again uh in two. days, season 13.
>> Crazy. >> So minutia is the podcast. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Podcast. Improv show. I think it's like. a talk show. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's a talk show and that's just going. to be on YouTube. >> Yeah. Well, we're going to pitch it. We're going to, you know, try to sell. it. But, you know, YouTube's great. though. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing YouTube. >> It used to be like just on YouTube, but. now you're like, if it's if better be on. YouTube. >> Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. >> Um, dude. Yeah, that's great. You're. staying so busy. Do you feel kind of. overwhelmed? >> Yeah. Yeah. I haven't I had another kid. since I saw you last time. >> So,
>> dude, remember last time, dude? >> Yo, man. Yeah. You know why, dude? I get. talked to so much about about um my. appearance on here last time and uh the. clip of me talking about my daughter. >> Oh yeah. >> It was like it was pretty dope cuz I. >> I want to see it. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> Yeah. I just want to feel something. today. >> How about this? >> If you remember, I hadn't spoken about. my anything in public prior to this. Your show now is like is is like news is. the news media now. Like this is you. know this is literally. >> you guys trying to decide if they have. testicular [laughter] but it isicul. And.
I you know I'm like all right. So I was. like, let's, you know, I talked about on. my own terms with you. I felt. comfortable. I'm like, you know, you. were like, you take it out if you want. like just leave it. Just put it out in. my habit. And ever since then, it's been. like a a new thing for me because like. it's out in the open now. Now my new. hour that I'm touring with, like I talk. about my family, my kids. I never did. that before. >> Take me through some of that. Will you. honestly just talk like honestly s like. just tell me like Yeah, cuz I think. there's like there's probably parts in. all of our lives where we're afraid to. talk about something or afraid to talk. about it and then it ends up being. different on the other side because.
Yeah. I think you were uh yeah, let's. just we'll take a peek at it really. quick. We can always take this out. >> Inexplicable [music]. [snorts]. happiness and joy that you feel like you. are. >> I love the music in the background. >> I don't know why. [music]. >> Who put the process? >> You can't believe it. >> Damn, I'm crying. You should, [laughter]. bro. That's good. That's good, man. Why. do they put the mus like [laughter]. that? That was a little morose. It was.
It felt like Yeah. >> It felt like the beginning of. Castlevania. Remember [laughter] that. game? >> Yeah. That's the music. The music. >> Yeah. It was like, "Come on. This guy's. like. >> on the one two player screen." It's like. Yeah. In the beginning, the guy with the. whip. That was a gay player, dude. That's like when a gay guy kind of gets. trapped in like like in a at a. Halloween party in New Jersey. [laughter] Dude, that's what Castlevania. was cuz it's just this dude just running. around with a whip. [clears throat]. >> That wasn't like the like the the most. popular clip. What happened was a lot of. parenting um uh like accounts like.
Instagram accounts and they picked that. up and inspirational accounts and there. was a different clip and that it just. went like so so viral and then because. your show is like so big like like us. weekly and. >> did they really. >> all those people and all that stuff. picked up. It's like s secret wedding. and it's like it wasn't really a secret. I just didn't like tell you guys I got. married. It was like a secret wedding. >> But that's kind of hot though. That kind. of makes it kind of hot for you and uh. Francesca that it's just [clears throat]. like, oh, it's a secret wedding. That.
had some allure to it. Oh, and Practical. Joker star S reveals um. >> he secretly got married [laughter] and. has a baby daughter. Bro, that makes you. sound like a rapper. I know, [laughter]. >> bro. That's crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But dude, I have a boy now, too. >> No. >> Yeah. The best, dude. It's the best. >> Is he? >> Yeah. He's so dope. >> He's awesome, man. >> What's his name? Yes, [laughter]. bro. If it would have been any other. name, I would not have been excited,
[laughter]. >> dude. That's so cool, man. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But did it feel like I I want to I want. to hear about him. Um. >> Well, yeah. Tell me what do you love. about what's what it's something that's. just like, >> you know, so cool. It's like um so I. went through everything with my daughter. and then like. she's like three and a half now. He's. about 16 months and like you you you it. goes so fast. It's so nice to get to do. it over again. >> because th those moments when they're. that young are so fleeting. They change. They're growing so fast. They're like.
it's a new thing all the time and it. goes lightning fast and you try the best. you can to savor it, but it's like it's. it's it goes so fast. So then to to just. start from scratch again and then like. the first time it's a all first for you. and the kid, right? So, it's like you're. processing all this stuff and then so. the second time you have like a you have. this foundation and an idea and you know. what to look for already. So, you can. kind of experience it um in a different. way. You just experience it like a. little bit more. You're able to really. absorb it cuz it's not like you're like.
a deer in the headlights or whatever. I. see. And so, it's. >> like you're playing hot potato the whole. time. >> Yeah. Exactly. And it's like you just. and you just um it's just really nice to. those those stages are the ones that you. know parents are always like oh if I. could have my kids back at that age. again you know so it was like nice to. get like a double dip in there. >> That's cool. >> And uh and just watch them grow like. interact and and watch their. relationship together build like the. kids. There's nothing that that's the. when they're like sitting on the couch. together, leaning on each other just.
eating fruit, you know, like and he'll. just crawl up on the couch and put his. head on her shoulder while she's just. like eating some fruit and they just sit. there like and then you walk into the. room and you see them just cuddling each. other or whatever. >> It's like come on, man. There's like. literally nothing close to this. Oh, that's so. >> I get right in between them, you know, they get them, you know, just if the. best thing I could do is just have my. kids in my lap just holding them, you. know, like just watching like just. >> Yes. >> I know. It's I bet it's almost like as. you almost I bet can't I bet you it. almost feels like you can't even let.
them know how much you love them. >> It's impossible. It's impossible. >> That's kind of a crazy thing if you. think about it that there's something. inside of us, even just as humans, right? where you I couldn't even let you. know how much I love you if if I had. like it's impossible for me to. >> it's it's it's it's impossible. I don't. know how to express it. Yeah. >> And you do you feel like that's probably. a feeling for most parents? >> It has to be. I think it's an innate. feeling. >> Right. So So and and I'm not trying to. but I'm I forget sometimes if I don't. share what I'm feeling. So that to me.
just shows us how powerful love must be. if we can't even. >> if like as human beings just as like. citizens in the world. Yeah, >> we can't even if like the love that you. would have for your child, you can't. even. >> it can't be expressed. >> It can't even expressed. >> nothing will do it justice. There's no. way to like actually encapsulate it. >> It's pretty powerful because other. things you can express a lot of other. feelings like anger, hatred, you know, like um yeah uh affection or like um.
look up some other feelings. Sorry. [laughter]. >> Would you stop short of three? >> [laughter]. >> One of them was pretty like happy, mad. What else? >> Um, confused, cranky. I mean, all these. other things. >> This is so cool, you know. So, I didn't. mean to cut you off. >> No, no, no. Go on. You cut me off. But. you get what I'm saying though that. isn't it's crazy that we can't even that. it's love is such a powerful thing. We c. it's bigger than us even as humans. because we're not able to con, you know.
what I'm saying? We can't. >> Yeah. And that is pinging in my heart at. all times. Like I you know when you're. like your heart melts, you know that. feeling like sometimes just in a moment. you see something or like whatever and. you're like your heart like melts a. little bit. So what this is like is that. like the melting feeling is constant. >> Oh. >> yeah. Yeah. So like just fully it. doesn't stop. >> walking around with a mop. >> Yeah. Yeah. Dude, it just doesn't stop. It's like [clears throat] continually. melting the whole time. If they're you. know I talked about this they're in if. they're even in the room with me just.
something changes, you know? That's it. It's just awesome. >> It's wow. But um. >> yeah, I remember you saying that, dude. Yeah, it was just that was a that was. awesome to hear about. >> And they're so it's so cute to see them. like girl like see those uh you just had. up those those color-coded things. So my. daughter, she goes to like occupational. therapy and she to learn about like to. process her this stuff and her feelings. So they teach her this stuff and so she. she knows all these these color-coded. emotions. So when she comes home and. she's having like a cuz they're going to. uh you know they're going to have these.
like these it's inevitable for them to. like when they grow up to have these. like um you know their tantrums and this. that they have to work through all this. It's not like you have a bad kid if. they're like if they act out like. they're going to be crazy at two and. three years old, >> right? Cuz they're learn all these. feelings are slow are getting baked in. the first time. >> Everything's getting developed and they. don't know how to you know. >> it's like the first time you get on a. lime scooter. You like you don't you're. just taking that for a. scooter. >> That was like the first time I got on. one. Yeah. It was like I didn't know. what was going on. Yeah. >> But she'll tell me like if she's like. upset. She'll be like, "Dad, >> I'm in the blue zone right now." They.
call the blue zone. She's like, "Dad, I'm in the blue zone right now." And I'm. like, "You're upset?" She's like, "Yeah, I'm sad. I'm in the blue zone." She's. like, "I I I need to get to the green. zone." Like, this is how she speaks to. me. I'm like, "Let's do it. What do you. need to get into that green zone? Let's. do it." She's she's she's dope, man. They're like my, you know, little best. friends. >> Dude, that's so cool, though. Also for a. kid even just to be able to like well. just have a instead of just having a. feeling have a thought about a feeling, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Well, what is So it's it just adds so. much more to you.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's unreal. really. >> You're not just a victim of how you. feel. You there's a little bit more like. critical like they start thinking in a. way that's just not just basic. It's. like think about like at the end of the. day we when she goes to bed we always. discuss the the day. So we talk about. like I'll sing her a song and in the. song I with the song I sing her every. night I made I made it up myself just. naturally it came out you know and then. I started adding verses to it and now I. sing this whole song and the song the. whole point about the song is I love you. I love you so much you'll never know how.
much I love you like that's that's. literally what it is but then we talk. about the day and uh and then I'll said. like you know what would you know what. were you most proud of today so like. she's three but to get her thinking like. that like not just like what did you do. today but what were you the most proud. out of today. It positions her mind to. think that way and then like build our. confidence of it. This stuff like. there's so much parenting stuff and. psych psychology, child psychology, all. this stuff. It's fascinating and it's. like, you know, it's the most important. job you'll ever have, you know? So, I. like take it like, you know, it's it's. it's it's great to hard, but it's like.
it's really fun to to raise a to raise a. human being. It's it's like it's so it's. so it's an honor, you know, like it's a. real honor, >> dude. That's pretty cool to be able to. think out think about it like that. Yeah, >> I'm here to tell you about a uh a social. app or atmosphere or website about that. that I really love and and it is. Shopify. Shopify is hands down the best. place to start and grow a business. Shopify makes it so just a small.
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If I can do it, you can do it. This. episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Did you know that 88% of Americans say. they are feeling some form of financial. stress at the start of 2026? Of course, you knew that. We all I mean, who doesn't know that? Money worries. Yeah, they they can bring on anxiety, sleep disruption, just depression, and even just a general. rattling of the bones. They're one of.
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overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up. and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/theo. That's betterhp.com/theo. betterhelp.com/theo. And do they ever like if they get in. trouble, they're like, "Give me a. punishment, Dad." Like, do they ever. make you give them like something that's. just like, >> "No, they're too young for that.". >> Like, "Send me out in the traffic or. something. [laughter] Put it here.". Piece of. >> not punishment yet. Yeah. No, no, it's. more about just managing, you know, just.
managing their behavior, but it's like, yeah, you [laughter]. just. >> punish him. >> Um, yeah. What was it? But what was it. like? So, after you kind of shared that. you had a family, you kind of had or. that your family was growing, right? And. sometimes, you know, I know you had said. like and and sometimes everybody you. want to keep certain things that it's. just your own life, right? >> Yeah. I was I mean, I'm private. I was. always private. So, once you give it. away, >> did it feel different? >> It felt like a weight lifted. >> It did. It did. >> And has it been a positive thing or do. you or just like Yeah. Has it been like.
okay does it feel because trying to also. protect everything all the time is also. kind of it's a lot of stress. >> That that that took a lot. It took a lot. to keep things to myself and not, you. know, like not let things get out and. when I'm out in public with them, you. know, like because everyone has a camera. now and everything is you're always got. this little like bird like a worry, you. know, cuz I want to I I won't ever post. my kids online like I want to shield. them from that. But just like it was. just about protecting them. Um, but. people would chill with it and like now. that it's out there, it's like it feels.
like I could just freely talk about it. Feels good. Yeah. Feels good. It was. like, you know, I'm glad I did it. Yeah. >> What was one of the tough experiences. that you had with your first child? Was. there like a time that would like, you. know, cuz like the other day my buddy. Kevin and his wife, they like I think. maybe their kid like ate like a thing a. little bit of guacamole or something. [laughter]. >> What happened? He's allergic. >> I think his his ears like swelled up or. whatever. >> Dude, that's scary. >> And they're like, he's allergic to. like Mexican or whatever, you.
[laughter] know? >> So definitely. >> You never know. You never know. But you. don't want to run your kid into the. hospital and sound racist like, "Hey, I. think he's allergic to like Mexican. >> vegetable." Well, Mexican flavors. >> Mexican flavors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I meant. Awak. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that anyone. would take it as like, you know, any a. slight against any Mexican people. >> People are trying to look for an edge. all the time. They are that would be. sort of specified. >> Yeah. Me too. I feel like that's. >> it's the ingredients like they happen to. be they happen to be all Mexican. cuisine, but I don't know what that is. >> Yeah. They happen to use it best. [laughter]. >> Yeah.
>> But Yeah. And I think these have been. bought from like maybe a Latin vendor. It could have been a Puerto Rican guy. Who knows? It could have been um Yeah. Who? >> That's the craziest thing, though. Like. when they. >> But yeah. So, >> did they get hurt or something like. that? >> So, they ran him. Yeah. So, but they're. like, "Don't know what's going on.". You're like, you know, Max is swollen. up. You know, he's allergic to to. watching LeBomb or whatever. I'm like, [laughter] I don't think that's a. problem. But anyway, yeah. Uh but. anyway, what I'm saying is, sorry, what. is wrong with me? Why can't I say what. I'm saying? What I'm saying is that it. it threw my buddy for like a it was.
crazy, you know? I saw him like it was. like he was so freaked out. >> Dude, I I sometimes I'll fall like hit. their mouth and start bleeding or. something. You see when you see blood on. your kid, it's like and you have to be. like so chill. >> You have to dictate the tone so they. don't, you know, they Yeah. I mean, that's the best way to do it to keep. them even tempered and like they're. going to reflect your energy and and. they're going to react the way you teach. them to react to something. stuff. So, you always got to try and play it even. keeled and like not make a big thing of. stuff like that so that they're able to.
handle those situations themselves. better, you know? But it is nuts, dude. Like, oh, one time I was like trying to. cut my son's nails like you know, you. got to clip that like and he and like. they don't kids they don't stay still. and dude. >> I clipped a little piece of the the end. of his finger. >> like and he started just bleeding. everywhere. Dude, I almost I didn't know. what I was going to do myself after. that. I was like, "So I was And then one. time he walked. >> what Van Go did to his brother.". >> He did? >> Yeah. He clipped or he's I think he. might have cut his ear off or something.
Never mind. >> Van No, Van Go cut his own ear off, but. I didn't know he clipped anything on his. brother. So maybe everyone in the family. was missing something in. >> there. [laughter]. Dude, did you know Pablo Picasso died. like a couple of years ago? [laughter]. >> Did you see that clip? >> Yeah, I did. >> Was it was Gary V. Uh Gary? >> Oh, Ver was with me this week. It was it. was. >> Oh, was it was Ver? Okay. I was talking. with him. He's the one who told me. Yeah, we were talking in the car. actually. He He's like, "Dude, yeah, >> bring it up. Let's bring that clip.". >> I mean, [laughter] it was it was 50.
years ago, but like I thought Picasso. was like from the 18. And he told me, we're in the car. He's like, "Do you. know this?" And I was like, "No." He's. like, "Dude, he was he was like alive. when we were born.". >> Yeah. I think one of part of it is, "Do. you know that Picasso probably ate at. Outback Steakhouse?" You're like, "That's insane.". >> Right. Right. I never put that together. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yes, it's Joe List. Sorry. Sorry. My bad. >> You guys know this Papa Picasso, you. know when he died? He died in 1973. >> Did you know that? I thought he died in.
1380. [laughter]. I almost 1973. Picasso had a car. [laughter]. Is that unbelievable? Pablo Picasso was driving around Spain. in like a Honda Civic listening to Black. Sabbath on the radio. That's crazy. >> Aussie Osborne and Pablo Picasso were. working at the same time. >> He saw six Super Bowls. [laughter].
>> I thought he looked like. the best. >> That's good. >> Yeah, dude. He's so great. He was in a. great movie that Louis made, too, man. >> Yes. >> Shout out Joe List. That movie was. great. They did a good job. >> Such talented guys. Um, that was a great. bit. >> I got I got I got something. So, I I. want to try and find these people. Maybe. this can you saying it here can help me. All right. I got this I got a story for. you. >> Yeah. >> I tal So, this uh last night. >> we talked about this last night just. came out and it was a story that I.
forgot about and I'm like I'll talk to. Theo about it. Maybe I could get So, uh. in 1995 I was at the Salvation Army with. my buddy Joe and we found a VHS. cassette, right? >> And it was like a home a home one not. like a movie like you buy like a you. know home like a blank. Okay. >> And it had a label on it and uh it said. um. uh a Amy and Stu Shankman's wedding. >> Oh. >> And it was I I'm going to maybe get the.
exact date wrong, but let's say it said. like November 25th, 1995. It said I'm. sorry. It said November 25th, uh 1985. Okay. Right. It said Stu and Amy. Shankman's wedding November 25th, 1985. That day that we picked it up was. November 25th, 1995. So, I found this. blank cassette of this people's wedding. on their 10y year anniversary. Now, back. then, you got. >> if you had your wedding taped on VHS, that's where it was. That's it. Like,
that's the copy. Yeah. >> And [clears throat] this was. handwritten. So, it's like. >> I think they accidentally. got rid of the like they don't have. their wedding video. You know what I. mean? >> So, Amy and Stu Shankman do not have. their wedding video, >> right? And I and we picked it up on the. exact We were like, "Holy 50. cents." We bought it. We went home and. watched their whole wedding, right? It's. amazing. It's It's a wedding from 1985. It's a It's a It's a Jewish wedding from. 1985. The best man, this little little. short guy, Yamaga, he does a He does his. in his best man speech, he raps.
>> Yeah. >> I swear to God. And I I'll know. I mean, at this point, I've watched it. >> Was it BC Boys? He was rap. >> dozens of times. No, he wraps his own. rap. >> Oh. And and I this is the part this I'll. never I know it cuz I watch he's like so. he's jumping up and down and he's like. ha ha ha ha we're going to party. tonight. We're going to jump up and. down. It's never going to end. [clears throat] This is was the rap. So. it's an amazing wedding. I swear to God. it's it's an amazing wedding and uh and. I watch it over the years. I've had.
people over. We put it on. I watch it. this this and that. About maybe five. years after that I'm at my friend Joe. We're in a gas station. He's getting gas. in his car and he's like, "Sal." And I'm. like, "What?" He goes, "Look at that car. right there." And there's a car that's. like pulling out of the gas station. He's like, "Look, look, look in the car. Who do you think that is?" And I look. and I go, "Is that Stu Shankman? I don't know this guy from a hole in the. wall." He's like, "I think it's Stu. Shankman." So I'm like, "Oh shit." And. he pulled out and my friend had to. finish paying the gas and we jumped in. the car, peeled out and tried to follow. him. Yeah. And we lost him.
>> Oh, >> okay. So fast forward. >> You hate losing people. >> I hate I especially in a chase. >> Yeah. [snorts] Uh, so then, uh, >> I never gave I I I have this wedding. video. I still have it. >> You have a piece of their life. You have. a piece of one of the greatest moments. of their life. >> Yeah. Right. So So about two years ago, I'm like, we got to find these people. >> searching for Steu Shankman. >> Yes. And we got we got to see if like. what's I got to get them this video. So. my friend found his brother or something.
on Facebook and confirmed like we were. like who knows if they're dead, if. they're still together, what what's. going on? So he reached out. He said. that he told him we got at a thrift. store we found their wedding video in. 1995. Like I've had I've had their wedding. video for 31 years. >> Oh, I I haven't for 31 years. I've had. their wedding video. They've been. married. This will be their 41st. anniversary this year. the brother's. like they're still alive and together. [laughter] I swear to God he's like this. is insane. You got to like Yes. So I'll.
let's broker this. So but so I I had the. idea a couple years ago when I was. developing a TV show and so this was an. idea for one episode of this TV show. where I like do things like this and so. that's when we decide to reach out. Anyway, I didn't finish developing the. show and I kind of forgot about him and. I thought of it last night and I brought. it up and I was like, "Oh in this. brother's eyes, we contacted him. We're. like, yo, we have the wedding video and. we want to get it to you." And then we. went radio silent again. He's like, "Why.
do these people do this, you know, to me. and my family?" So, I'm like, I got to I. got to remember I got to I got to find. them and I want to get in the video. So, I feel like if if if anyone knows I. think they they were originally from. Staten Island. They and so Stu and Amy. Shankman. >> and I have your wedding video for the. last 31 years and I want to give it to. you. I did digitize a copy of it for. myself. >> because I when I thought I was going to. give it back I was like I I won't share. it with anyone but I I know it's it's. also a piece of me now.
>> Let's find his feet. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I have it. So. >> yeah, we got to find you got to search. him for the Shankman's dude because. there's something special about that. I. know I I used to know a guy named Alex. Shankman. Um I knew a couple Shankman. >> Oh, I know a Shankman, too. Actually, >> there was an agent I knew. I think it. was. >> I actually know a Shankman. >> I knew a Shankman. I. >> I don't think they're related, but I. know a You just reminded me. I think. he's like a choreographer. >> Yeah, there's there's a lot of Is there. a famous Shankman choreographer,
>> especially in Hollywood? >> Adam Shankman. Adam Shankman. >> I didn't know Adam. I just realized for. the first time I know a Shankman. >> The Shankman? >> Yeah. >> Hey, you know a Shankman? >> Shankman? >> Yeah, >> dude. That's wild though. >> So, I hope I find him. >> Well, I hope that you find him. Also, Stew and Amy, the guy's been holding. your loving. You know, the guy's been. watching you. One of the greatest. moments of your life [laughter]. in his spare time on the L train or. whatever. >> So, >> that's right. Yeah,
>> dude. Do you think there there's really. something could be a cool show out there. to make or create? People say this. all the time, but um. of like something about finding old. things on VHS and then. >> Yeah. like found footage. Yeah, >> dude. I worked with this one comedian. There had been like the one of those. Nigerian scams that had happened to his. grandmother and they taken a lot of her. money, right? You know those things that. email you like I'm trapped in uh petting. zoo in Nigeria or something. They won't. let me out or whatever. >> Send the money. So to get him back, he.
started doing these things where he. would send them. videos of things and he said, "If you. do, I need you to do reenactments of. this and then I'll pay you for it." But. instead, he would just have them do the. reenactment and then he would just post. the video online. Right. >> No. [clears throat]. >> But the best part was what he would send. them was he would send him scenes from. Seinfeld, right? So he would send like. scenes from Seinfeld to like some people. in Africa like in just a random village. and they would reenact the scenes. No. >> Yeah. And he had all these amazing. >> You got to be kidding me. >> He had all these amazing video clips,
dude. >> Oh my god. Of an African village. reenacting like Master of My Domain. >> Yes. [laughter]. Or the parking one. Like they had all. these different ones that he was pretty. It was pretty great, dude. And so. eventually it healed him. He's like, "Okay, at a certain point we're kind of. even, you know, [laughter]. but dude, that cuz comedians can hold. some grudges over the years." But yeah, I've always been a little bit of a. collector. You find something, you save. it, you're like, "Ah, maybe I'm supposed. to. >> You told me one time. I don't know if. you remember this. You told me one time. I I in hindsight now I realized you were.
probably joking, but you were like, "Yeah, I have a marble notebook with the. name of every person I've ever slept. with in it." [laughter]. >> Oh, damn. Really? >> You said that. Yeah. >> And I'm like, "Get out of here." He's. like, "Yeah, I" And you I'm like, you. know, >> a marble notebook. >> Oh, you said you had a notebook. I I. remember in my head I projected it was. like a a me [laughter] like a school. notebook. But you were like, "Yes, and I. written it down my whole life." And I'm. like, "You got to be kidding. me." And you're like, "No, I know ex I. know the exact number of people I've. slept with.". >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you were.
with me, I'm sure. But. >> I would I was always kind of a. documenter of things. [laughter]. >> The number and I I remember the number. you said. I do. Yeah. Cuz it's really. funny. >> Okay. >> It's [laughter] really funny. >> I This is the only part I can't believe. that I always say something like this, but I want to hear it. >> You want to know what you told me? [laughter] I said you said I have every. single name. I never miss the name. And. I was like, you know the exact number. you slept with. He said, "Yeah." I'm. like, "How many?" He said about 1,50. [laughter]. >> Really? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm. not good at it, but it was 1,50 which is.
like And I was hysterical 11. I was. like, no one is. I mean, it's like Will. Chamberlain. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane, dude. Yeah. I don't even know if [laughter] it. was me, but I I believe that I could. have said this. >> You told me this. >> Oh, I did? Good. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Good. Oh, >> I'm glad that at least I was. >> You don't have a I mean, your real. number is not anywhere close to that. That's crazy. >> That's ins Oh, dude. Yeah. I mean, >> yeah. Yeah, >> I've always like. >> 1,50 is. >> it's the perfect the feeling. >> It's really the perfect number to say to. because it's like to go over a,000.
[laughter]. >> It's great. >> Yeah. 1008. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Dude, I remember when I was growing up, they had this kid, his brother had slept. with like 12 women or something and. people were losing their minds. in our town cuz we're cutting down trees. and tickling people they. shouldn't touch and like that. >> That like that will affect you. >> Oh, dude. When you know when you when. you have like a when you're when you're. of an age where no one's got that kind. of number yet or maybe everyone's a. virgin and then one kid's like I've. slept with 12 people. You're just like I. gota I got to know all about.
>> Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, aren't I? Yeah. I'm just Yeah. There's. no Yeah. Then my life is means nothing. >> You [laughter] know, I'm working at. Baskin Robins or whatever and some guy. slept with 12 people. I should be in. Hades, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. That was hectic, dude. [laughter]. Dude, I was the worst at sex. Let me. see. Let's look at uh high activity. lifestyle. For a person averaging one. new partner per week, it would take. approximately 20 years to reach 1,50. partners. So, yeah, I lied. [laughter].
I lied, bro. Dude, there was some years. where I wouldn't even get involved in. any sex. I was so bad at it. [laughter]. >> You You were bad at it. So, you've come. a long way. >> I've come a long way, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I think well for one. >> Are you a generous lover? Yeah. >> No. >> No. Okay. >> I'm not. Dude, I'm like that for me this. I realized this the other day. I'm in. like this I'm in recovery meeting for. everything. So I was in one the other. day and people talk about this kind of.
stuff a lot and like ineimacy disorder. like that, right? Like I'm out here. I'm basically like a uh. >> I'm like a crash test dummy. That's what. I realized. Like other people are like. living a life and I am basically a crash. test dummy out here. >> Why you feel that way? just because it's. like I feel like I'm never going to. figure out some of these parts and I'm. just going to be almost this like. experiment that kind of happens, you. know, and like um. >> I I realized I thought of loving it was. like a uh it felt like a alterc it's. like an altercation you get in it has.
the same energy. >> of of like a like a session. >> like a fight intimate session. >> Yeah, intimate session has like a sexual. session has like. >> a little bit of a battle. >> Yeah, it's a fight. Not like physically. like it's a fight, but just like the. same amount of nervous energy that's in. a fight. >> Sure. Sure. Sure. >> That's the energy that I take into like. a sexual [laughter] sexual. >> So like if you if you see me if if we're. up and I just keep kind of ducking or. dodging [laughter] or if I duck off into. the corner and have some guy I barely. know rub neoporn on my cheeks or. whatever.
>> and put a thing of ice on the back of my. neck or whatever. >> You have a corner, [laughter] man. >> Yeah. Just just know I'm doing the best. that I can. just plugging your nose up. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Dude, some. guys putting a cotton swab up my. nose. But dude, yeah, I just I I was I. had so much nervous energy around women, bro. >> Yeah. >> So, that was crazy, dude. >> I love when they do like in a UFC fight. or like a boxing match, whatever, when. they cut to the corner, right? And it's. like, you know, you and and you hear.
everything that the the the corner guys. say in the trainer. It's always like. wildly inappropriate. Yeah. Like, this bro. You're going to. him up, man. This And then you're. like he's like you stick him moving. But. then you're like home watching a fight. with like or you're somewhere and it's. like you just don't expect to hear like. this guy's a bro. >> Yeah. You know, his mother passed away. two months ago, huh? >> Like oh. >> Yeah. You learning You're like. damn. [clears throat] You know his. cousin has asthma hit this little. you know? They said he'll be like, "Don't be a pussy." But I'm.
like, "Whoa, >> I know. >> Real in the corner." Get real. >> But it's really just sounds like that's. what makes anybody think they could be a. corner. Also, some of those behaviors. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. I could say that. >> cuz it Yeah. It doesn't feel like. there's a lot of real instruction coming. over here. >> So, yeah. Sometimes you hear someone. give really good pointers and then you. go to the other corner and they're just. like, >> "All right, bro." You're like, "What is. this guy doing?". >> Yeah. They're saying nothing. >> They're saying nothing to the guy. >> I know. >> Yeah. >> That is pretty wild, dude. Um, but yes. Oh, intimacy, bro. Some of that I. was like, you know those fainting goats. gets going too much and they just.
>> they just go over. Yeah, that's me. >> Yeah, you hit like a thing and. >> Oh, yeah. I hit like about 30 volts or. whatever. Like. [laughter]. >> I hit about Yo, what does a What sound. does a goat make? >> Let me try it. They have a sheep though. >> Does a goat and a sheep make the same. noise? I think goats are more curious. So, I think it's more like. [laughter]. >> No, let me try it.
>> Really? >> No, that's more like a uh. >> But what does the sheep do then? >> So, it's the same thing. >> No, sheep that goats. >> Sheep's Oh, yeah. Sheep's. but then a goat is. >> Am I crazy? >> I don't know this. I don't know the. difference. Ah, >> is a sheep a sheep's not a goat? >> A gay goat's just like bagger. [laughter]. >> That stupid street joke. What? What is a. gay horse eat?
>> Hey, the best. >> It's so stupid, >> dude. Some jokes like that that were the. best, [laughter] bro. >> Getting to laugh is the best, man. That's the best thing, bro. Getting to. laugh. The fact one thing I will say, bro, about. certain moments of life, like I've just. been grateful that God has put me around. people that that are just make me laugh. >> Yeah. We our friends are the funniest. people in the world. It's crazy. >> It's crazy. >> It really is. Yo, so I struggle on. stage. I always sometimes I think about. this like I I really in the moment on.
stage when I'm on st and I like to laugh. and so like I laugh, you know, throughout my set a lot. Then sometimes. I'm like [sighs] like I don't think of. it. It's just me being me. But like then. a lot of times I'm like I don't want to. laugh like I don't want it to be like. I'm laughing at my own stuff. But I. really am in the moment having a good. time. But I'm like I don't want that to. come across as a crutch. So sometimes. I'll be like all right today consciously. when you do like this hour do not laugh. Do not laugh and just see how it plays. like don't laugh. Just like kind of. keep, you know, and and see how it plays. differently with the with, you know, the.
like do you do you like are you in the. moment when you're on stage? You laugh. at your own will you laugh and like just. have fun in the moment or you like kind. of like keep it like this persona of. like you cuz when you like tell your. stories and stuff you have a like you. know you have a certain energy and vibe. the way you do it. >> Yeah. >> But you do you ever like just give like. do you think about that on stage? You I. do. >> So you like consciously don't won't. laugh or like will you just like laugh? >> I'd like to laugh more. I used to think. like especially when I was coming up in. comedy you hear about all these things. that are kind of crutches like you don't. some people write their notes be like.
well that's a crutch and it's like well. that's a crutch well also how about this. somebody's getting up in front of you. and trying to make a room full of people. laugh. >> I don't care if they're on crutches. eight crutches I don't care if there I. don't care if there's one person in two. wheelchairs [laughter]. right. >> let [clears throat] them if there's. things that help them I think it to me I. think it's okay. >> yeah honestly I'm not doing it as a. crisis what I'm saying is like I. naturally laugh and so I have to fight. my natural instinct. >> Don't ever fight your laugh, dude. Your. laugh is your laugh is one that warms.
people. It's like it's extra you, you. know, and so that I think is a gift. And. I think some of these people, they've. gotten to know some of us in our lives. and they may be h they may feel happy. that we're in a room laughing, you know, just like they are, you know. Having a. good time. >> Yeah, you're having a good time. I say. laugh, dude. I notice if and I'll even. be conscious of it sometimes like, "Oh, the set's not going that great in the. beginning." And sometimes they be like, "Dude, it's because you're not having. fun.". >> Yes. >> So, let myself have fun. >> Translates. Yes. >> And let me be the person that's saying. the jokes. Really? Sometimes I'll try to.
almost transpose myself and pretend like. I'm just sitting there laughing at the. jokes. >> Right. Right. >> And then just almost like I don't know. cuz the person I always wanted I wanted. to be the person sitting there laughing. But to me, I've always had like you know. sometimes there's like a chip on my or. some type of growing up this that. you know. Yeah. And so I was always. like, you know, or being judgmental or. whatever. So, so we end up on the other. end of the thing. I'm going to be the. guy who's being a part of making the. laughter. But either way, I'm happy to.
be involved in the laughter. And I think. it's okay if you laugh with a crutch or. some people say it's crutch. I don't. I. find it especially as I get older. If I get a chance to laugh. >> Yeah. But I think that's that's what I'm. saying. >> Sorry, that was a lot of to say. >> No, I think just making the distinction. of like I'm on stage having a good time. Like not with intent. Like some people. will laugh. >> 150 is crazy though. >> Crazy. Yeah, >> that's a crazy thing to say. >> I thought about it ever since you told. me. >> Did you really? >> Yeah. If I had I I retained the. knowledge, >> bro. Would you know how scary it would. be if one woman came over to my house.
every week to hook up? That would. make me [laughter] so. paranoid. >> Sounded sounded [clears throat] crazy to. me when you said it, >> bro. If I knew that every week some gal. was coming over for sex, dude, I would. have to keep moving. >> It's offputting. Yes. You're like, "Oh. my, it's too much. It's too much. The. schedule's too insane. >> It's too much, man. >> That's a That's a lot hanging over your. head, man. [laughter] every week. Oh, >> I get anxiety thinking about that. >> And hearing them peel off in. disappointment, too. [laughter]. >> Hearing the gravel, >> they're they leave in a hurry. >> Yeah. And you don't even have gravel.
They're so pissed they went and bought. gravel and [laughter] put it under their. tires. >> I love that. Every time someone leaves. your house, they have to say they peel. out of here. >> Yeah, dude. Bro, my uncle, he. was supposed to get gravel and he. accidentally bought got a bunch of like. fish whatever that stuff that goes to. the bottom of them. Pellets. >> Yeah. Fish c fish food. [laughter] No, like the fish koi. >> Yeah. Not that goes in a uh fish. >> Oh, the fish gravel. The fish tank. gravel. >> Yeah, he got fish tank gravel, dude. And. his wife was so pissed, but it was. irritable, bro. And dude, [clears throat] they fought about that. But hearing people fight over.
Yeah. And your FISH GRAVEL. >> You and your fish gravel, James. Just hearing like hearing terms. like that. You and your shitty little. fish gravel. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fighting over gravel. >> Yeah. Yeah. Just fish gravel. hearing. any people fight over gravel. Just God, that's the kind of that keeps me. going. >> I have I had a fish uh my niece, you. know, when they have like the fair at. school like the festival. >> and they give those fish are about to. die. They give them to children. >> It's tough. That's It's messed. up. You throw like a ping pong ball in a.
cup and then they send the kid home with. a bag of fish and like these fish are. just dying. >> And so my niece brought home a fish and. I knew this was going to die cuz. like I when I did it when I was a kid, I. could never keep a fish alive because I. didn't have a setup. I'd come home, put. the fish in a bowl. Yeah. And then not. really understand it needs a filter and. it needs to be airrated and then the. fish would eventually die. I would feed. it like bread, >> you know, and then it would die. One. time I brought a fish home and I was. like um I don't know if I've ever told. this story, but like I I brought a fish. home from school and I I was like I knew.
that the previous fish had died and I. thought it because they didn't have. bubbles, which which in my head I was. like it needs bubbles. I didn't think it. needed like air, right? It needs. bubbles. So I got home. My mom wasn't. home from yet. So I put a big salad. bowl. I put the fish in it and I got a. straw and I was going to tell my mom, we. have to go to the thing to buy the, you. know, the fish store to buy the stuff so. this fish survives. But I needed to. bridge the gap till she got home. So I. took a straw and for like 3 hours I blew. into the into the bowl. But I was.
blowing carbon dioxide into the bowl and. I killed the fish immediately. >> So the fish died within hours because I. was just hitting it with CO2 out of my. mouth. So, my my niece brought this fish. home years later. I'm like, I'm not. going to let this happen again. I went. and got the setup and I ended up having. this fish for seven years and then um I. moved fish came with me and then one day. the fish was dead and I out of nowhere. though. It like died out of nowhere. >> in no reason. You. >> No, I had just cleaned the tank. It was.
very healthy fish. >> and uh I I think there was foul play. I. really do think so. >> No way. I think someone put like cuz I. tested the uh pH B. I would do all that. and then after I cleaned it and. then like I had people over and then it. was dead and then I think it was like. someone like poured something in the. tank. >> Then I didn't want to flush the fish cuz. I had a 7-year relationship with the. fish. >> Oh yeah. >> And so uh I didn't want to flush. I was. going to bury it. I might have told. this, but I was going to bury it, but I. didn't want to bury in the yard because. it's summer and I didn't want it to. decompose and smell. So I wrapped it in.
tin foil. I put it in my freezer. That. was like it's that's come closing in on. it'sif like 15 to 20 years ago and I. never got rid of the fish. >> It's still with me. >> I have a I have a goldf a frozen. goldfish in my freezer. >> No. >> For over 15 years. That fish is still in. my freezer right now. And I moved three. times and I took it with me. >> What? >> Yes. I had to put him in like on ice and. like. >> moving is hard on everyone. It. >> it's hard on I have the fish. >> Oh my god. I have the a dead fish for.
over 15 years in my freezer right now. >> You know it's in your freezer. >> Know exactly where it is in my freezer. >> Beautiful. [laughter]. >> It is. >> I took it out on Hey babe one time. I. took it out for the first time. I I. never unwrapped it in all 15 years and. we opened it on Hey babe and it was it. was uh. >> it was it was tough. It was it was a. goldfish but like I lost a lot of its. gold. >> It was like a pale gold. >> and uh like the eyes were kind of gone. Oh,
>> I guess over time I guess in the freezer. >> God takes the gold back or whatever. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But what? There you are right there. >> That's co. You could tell, right? >> Yeah. Very You look very rabbitical. right there as well, dude. >> Disgusting. >> Oh my [laughter] god, bro. It definitely. has like a Michael Jackson tint to it. kind of. [laughter] It's crazy. >> Did you see it? >> Yeah, I could see just a little bit of. it there. Uh yeah, show me that. Oh, yeah. Dude, you know, um Oh my god. Wow.
>> Yeah, the poor fish. >> Oh, it's cool. What was his name? >> I didn't name it. And I cuz that was. another thing. Every fish I had prior I. named died. So I called him fish for. seven years. >> I like that. >> Yeah. >> I at least like the fact you took on a. new strategy to keep him alive. >> Yeah. I was trying everything I could. And we had seven nice years. He used to. eat out of my hand. >> Nuhuh. >> Yeah. I don't know if it was really. because we had a bond. I think they. would just do that anyway, but I like to. think it was because we got close. >> And how do you do it? You put your hand. in there. >> I put my hand right in. I like hold the. flake and put it in and it would just.
come out. >> You're lying. >> No. No. I swear it's really not that big. a deal. I don't think. >> I think it is. It's like a drive-thru. for I feel like it's like going to a. drive. >> It felt like a trick. It felt like I had. a I I had like a you know how like a. flea circus or something? >> It felt like I had a fish that did. tricks. >> Well, dude, we had the Acroats lady. She. came on here once. >> What is that? >> This lady, she's been traveling around. the country. >> for like 20 years or something. And. she's uh she used to drive the tour bus. that the cats were in. tour bus. >> No. >> Yes. That the cats were in. [clears throat] And I'm paraphrasing a.
little bit here, but one of the toughest. shows that she had, one of the toughest. experiences, she's on the road. somewhere. Somebody had left a window. open, maybe from smoking or cigarette or. something, >> and Tuna, the lead cat, gets out. >> No way. >> Yeah. >> And she lost the cat. >> Couldn't find it. >> No way. >> And the show must go on. She She had. like three hours before. >> So like there's another cat. I think. >> Tuna's understudy. >> Yeah. Tuna's understudy or whatever. I. don't even know. >> Chicken salad. >> Yeah. It was just like tilapia or. something was the understudy. >> Yo, that's crazy. >> He's got to come in and he's always, you. know, he's Italian. So, [laughter] he's.
got to come in doing his tilapia and. you know, like. >> his big break. Tuna. >> Yeah, dude. But. >> they might have taken Tuna out. She. thinks Tuna got away, but they might. have they might have been there might. have been foul play there. That's crazy, too, because Tuna was a star. And once. he leaves and he goes into the open road. like that, everyone he passes has no. idea who he is. And that's a a star cat. amongst you. >> It's almost like a story from the Bible. when they didn't know who Jesus was. >> Yeah. >> You know, that's pretty cool, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah. That is amazing, bro. Yeah. I. wonder what his cloud is like out in the. wilderness, though. And other animals. like, "Oh that's tuna cut. >> That's tuna.". >> Damn, that's tuna. >> Working out on the street. >> Like, dang, bro. Tuna out here, bro. >> Tuna out here, bro. >> Damn, he real like that. He in the. trenches, cut. [laughter]. >> Like, tuna outside, dude. >> Tuna got out. But dude, >> tuna is not about that life anymore. >> Yeah. Yeah, bro. Tuna chang the last pet. you had. >> You have a pet now? No, you can't have a. pet now. You're on the road too much, right?
>> Yeah. I've never I plan to get a dog. >> Yeah. >> And this has been a slow feeling for me, but I plan to get a dog and maybe a cat. if I can get a wife. And not if one day. I'll get a wife and I'm going have a. family. But I would like to get a dog. and cat. And it doesn't all have to. happen together or whatever. >> Yeah. But I think if if I don't get. married or something, then maybe I'll. get a dog and cat and maybe something. else. I wouldn't mind getting a couple. horses probably. >> Oh, wow. You ride horses? >> I wouldn't ride them, but I would go. over by them. >> Yeah, you'd go next to them, talk to. them. >> Yeah, it' be like that. Brush them,
clean them. >> Let me ask you a question. If I see a. horse. >> that's not in the wild, it's got on. horseshoes. >> Every horse in captivity has on. horseshoes. >> That's a good question. Or is it just. like parade horses and horses that are. like going out on the town or whatever? I'm not sure. >> Look it up. That's a great question. This guy I know, Mr. Mike, is a frier. And. >> what is a frier? >> A frier is the guy that comes in and. puts the shoes on the horses. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> That's called a frier. >> Trims the toenails and everything. I got. stuck on frier talk for a while. And.
dude, half my feed was friers. >> No way. Yeah. >> Oh, I didn't know that's what they were. called. I thought they were like. cobblers or something. >> No, no, no. I think cobblers is for. shoing humans and friers is for shoeing. I don't know if it's just for animals. No, not all horses need shoes. Whether a. horse requires shoes depends on factors. like workload, hoof, hoof health, genetics, and terrain. >> I can see how hoof health would be a. factor. >> I mean, >> you got a pair of weak hoofs. You need. protection. >> Oh, dude. If my feet are real tender, I. want them on. >> Yeah. Also, you want that clippity clop,
you know? I don't think you I don't know. if you get a clippity clot without the. without the shoe. >> Dude, you telling me a kind of thick. >> They're like tap dancing. A thick horse. from Atlanta ain't pulling up. with that clip. >> Yeah. >> Type. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What about those? Really what what are. the Coca-Cola horses like at Christmas? >> Clale. Clyde Clails. Yeah. That's a that. that's the that's a clippity clop right. there. >> That horse you're like, dude, when that. horse shows up, bro, people some people. salute it. >> I would salute it.
>> You're like that's that's interesting to. have that between man and. >> you have confidence in your salute. >> Yeah. I did a I did a a a show for the. Naval Academy recently and they asked me. to take a picture of the man salute and. you see salutes in like movies and and. and really in life, but like I feel like. there's a a way they do it that like it. looks like it's just you just do this, but I don't know if this is right. Like. some of them do that or like is is there. a proper way to salute? Like are we. saluting the right way right now or is. it like I got nervous cuz I was like I.
don't want to insult these people and. salute the wrong way. Like do you tuck. your finger in? Like every said, what. are you what are you doing with a. salute? >> That's a good question. >> And they do it like you know when some. of those guys like like it's like super. like locked in like the Koreans do that. >> really like you know they do. >> Yeah. >> Position of attention. So my hands are. to my side, arms are straight down. When. I raise my hand to salute, it's going to. be flat. Hands not like thumbs not. tucked underneath my hand that kind of. stuff. So we're raising it up. And then. because I'm wearing headgear, my index. finger is going to come to the edge of. my headgear. Arms at a 45 degree angle.
hands slightly caned down, not facing. up, not facing down. Now, just like. this, I get my greeting and I drop my. salute. Now, that is how it's like for. wearing headgear. If I was wearing. something like maybe no headgear or. maybe the braid, but because I have. glasses, then it has to come up to the. edge of my glasses. If I was wearing the. braid or maybe no headgear, I also don't. wear glasses, then it come to the edge. of my eyebrows. So, it depends. Head. >> braces. as if you were, you know, [laughter]. >> he's like if you have a scrunchie in or. whatever, you. >> the scrunchy one's the best cuz you put.
it in the bag. You're like, "Hey.". >> You're like, "Hey.". >> Yeah. Um. >> Yeah. I was I was uh self-conscious. I've always been self-conscious about my. salute. >> Um. >> you ever ride a horse bearback? That. that's probably fun. That takes skill. right there. >> Somebody around somebody got a horse. somehow by us one time and we got on. that. >> Yeah. And we did pretty good. We didn't. do good. >> Bear back though. >> Yeah, bear back. We tried to get a. saddle or something. Somebody put like a. thing like that. Nobody had a saddle. We.
shouldn't have had this horse. They had. a car like a um fair that was near us. and I think one had kind of gotten away. from the fair. Somebody brought it down. there. >> being down there drinking with like the. car the caries and stuff the night. before. And so um they kept it by this. dude Mr. Ernie's house and we went over. there and we were all getting on and. It was pretty friendly, but I. think in hindsight it could have been. really dangerous. >> I almost died on a horse. >> You did? Yeah. On a class trip in like. eighth grade, the they put me on a horse. that started like full rodeoing. >> Who put you on a horse? >> The the the the dude ranch that we went. to for the trip, they put me on a horse.
and this horse I'm I'm in eighth, seventh, eighth grade. I have no horse. experience whatsoever. I'm I I get on. the horse, the horse is bucking, jumping. up and down, kicking and bucking. And. I'm I'm looking around like everyone's. there. All the other students are on. horses that are just sitting right like. just chilling. And then the the cowboys. are there and they didn't even react. quickly. Like they they were like I was. like looking at them and they were. looking at me. I would basically like. when the rodeo thing opens and the horse. is like. >> Oh yeah. >> Like that's what this horse was.
doing. >> A lot of horses don't they don't prefer. Italians. I'll say that. >> Yeah. And there's, you know, whatever. No judgment. A lot of a lot of children. don't are allergic to Mexican stuff, but. >> avocados. Avocados. Avocados. No. No. But uh I I remember it. It wasn't like, you know, like the rodeo rodeo, but it. was enough for like an eighth grader to. be terrified. And I'm like looking at. these guys like, "Is anyone going to. step in at all?". >> And the guy was just like, and I. remember being like, "Help." I I finally. just said, "Help." And then the guy was. like, "All right, just calm down." I'm. like, "This is how you treat a. 12-year-old. You going to tell me to.
calm down? I'm just I'm going to be. thrown from this horse." Like, and then. they got uh they got me off that horse. and they gave me the most senior citizen. horse they had. Like the the back was. like slumped inward. And then my I got. on that horse. The horse walked up to a. tree and started eating the leaves and. then wouldn't didn't leave. And the like. everyone went on the trail and that. horse wouldn't leave the tree and just. ate the Yeah. I just stood there on on a. horse like. >> yours was like rosemary or something. Yours had. >> it was like it was like Yeah. a glue. stick. >> Yours had a brooch on. [laughter].
>> Yeah. I would never get on a horse. barely. >> Dang, dude. [clears throat] That's wild, bro. >> Yeah. Horses. I think they're probably. the most they're they're the best animal. that we have until we come out with a. new animal like until they catch a. dragon or make something. Um yeah, and. and we did have a neighbor, my friend. William had a fish and I remember and. when it it died and they went and buried. it at the Long John Silvers and like the. flower bed outside of there. I remember. >> Well, that's an interesting choice. >> Remember that restaurant?
>> Yeah, of course. But it's a seafood. restaurant. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, I mean like it's a little bit. we like. >> it was like the closest thing I think. people thought like. >> Yeah. Well, it's nice that they had the. flower bed. >> Yeah. Like bring it back with his. community like just outside of the. parking mediums. They had a little bit. of like u kind of semi-designed foliage. right there. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's always nice. A little. extra touch. >> But I remember his dad took us over. there and we put that and we put it. there and did like a prayer or. something. I think we might have saluted. too. >> Yeah. Salute that fish. [laughter]. >> We don't even know, dude. Yeah. You had.
to salute that thing. Shout out LJS, bro. I feel like horses are like they're. on a lot of like romance novel covers. like bearback bearback horse riding is. exotic. I feel like. >> it's also mythological. I think the bo. the things that will happen to your. body. You want to talk about checking. yourself for testicular cancer. >> But it like a like a like a nude woman. on a horse bear back. Very exotic, right? >> Yeah. Cuz I think you think of the. stallion and like I'mma be the stallion. And I'm, you know,
>> I'm going to sleep with 1,50 women. You. know what [laughter] I'm saying? It's. like, >> yeah, I would uh I would I would take. notice if a if a woman rode. >> by like uh Patopolis on a bear back on a. horse. I would probably uh pay. attention. I would probably uh. >> I would probably follow the per because. it's very interesting. >> Yeah. >> I wouldn't just like let that go by. I. would be like, I'm gonna find out what. where this is going to end up. I'd want. to see what would happen. Dude, did you. see Speaking of mythological things, did.
you see that Artemis space shuttle went. to the moon? Do you think that really. happened or not? Let's take a gander at. it. >> I think it happened. It's it I I mean. >> cuz people are people are very weary. now. Well, first let me start. Do you. think the first moon landing happened? >> I do. >> Cuz bring up the shuttle. Bring up a. picture of the shuttle. I'm sure you've. looked at the shuttle and been like, >> "Yeah, but I also like when you look at. these things and sometimes I'm like, ah, maybe I could be convinced otherwise.". You know what I mean? Like it's crazy. that we haven't gone back. And we went. there now and just didn't we just drive. around it? We didn't get off. Right.
>> Yeah. They just went for like a look see. or whatever. >> Yeah. That's wild. I would never ever. ever no matter what you could do say you. could. I would never go into space. Never. >> Which one of the jokers do you think. would go into space if they had to go? >> Probably myrrh. I don't think he has uh. I don't think he really uh. >> Yeah, just say it. >> He's he's crazy like that. >> He's got it. >> Yeah, he's he he'll he'd go up there. I. wouldn't. But I think that uh he's. always looking for something new. >> M. >> Yeah. Imagine what they must have felt. like. I just saw that movie, that new uh.
Ryan Gosling movie. Like it's like is it. he goes into space? >> Well, all they do is take beautiful men. and put them out into space, dude. >> Yeah. >> A lot of these movies. It's Matt Damon. It's Ryan Gosling. It's um Steven Tyler. They just take these good-looking guys. and. >> or what's his name? Well, well, Ride. All right. >> Oh, yeah. McCane went to space. >> Interstellar, right? That's when, you. know, Hollywood's like, "This guy's. good-looking enough. We'll take him and. show him off to the other planets, you. know?". >> Yeah. Yeah. I can't even imagine. >> try to pick up a new market, you know?
[laughter]. >> Go out. I mean, I would be. >> Look at that. >> Terrified, bro. >> Yeah. I'd be terrified, too, dude. If I. went to space in a uh lifeguard tower uh. from Santa Monica Beach. >> That's it. >> Yeah, >> that looks Yeah, >> look at it. Can you zoom on it? >> It looks like a toy. like a transformer. or something, >> bro. >> Yeah, that doesn't that doesn't look. like it. I don't have confidence, though. Come on, dude. That's not even a. food truck, bro. >> That That looks flimsy, bro. Those.
little like legs and stuff. Like, how do. you get up there and be like, man, I. would feel like the existential threat. of the of the universe on my shoulders. Like, >> dude, they put they didn't even put. horseshoes on it, dude. That thing is. [laughter]. Look at the legs of it. Can you imagine. being up there alone and see this is the. thing too like they went up there they. did a couple of loop the loops but then. that doesn't necessarily mean like. coming back is hard it's risky coming. back so like you're signing up I'm I'm. sorry like none of those people can say.
for certainty that they I wonder what. the what the odds were that they could. be it could go south. >> Yeah. >> Like I bet you it wasn't like 99%. Like. I bet you it was like, "All right, it's. like 7030." Like you might explode on. the way home, >> right? >> That's That's crazy, dude. >> Do you have to imagine me coming home. and see Earth and you're like, "All. right." Like, and then and then it then. it goes, "Do when I was in uh when I was. a kid, we watched the Challenger live.". No. >> At school, you know, we all watched it. and we watched it live and it.
blew up and it was like. >> I the teacher everyone just started. crying. I was like, we were like, "What?" We trying to wrap our head. around I was like third grade or. something trying to wrap my head around. the fact that like there was a school. teacher in there and they just blew up. You remember this on live television? That's wild. >> There was a pet. Wasn't there also a. puppy in there? >> Was there? >> I thought that they sent a puppy in. there. >> Wow. >> I can't believe that we even did this. right now. To me it just feels like it's. like it's funny. We can't send help in. Gaza, but we can send the Aremis 2 to go. circle around the moon. Like that to me.
is like. >> what do we what what was the purpose of. the mission? Do you know? >> It's a great question. Let's look it up. >> It It wasn't just a like. >> And I'm sorry, there was no live animal. on the space shuttle Challenger during. the final flight in 1986. >> God bless those people and their. families. >> Yeah. Holy. >> I know, man. Can you imagine? >> Let's have a moment of that. Let's can. you imagine that? Like we're sending. like cuz you could you could probably. get in like let me be honest with you. If they pick some people to go to space. right now, right? Yeah. >> And Merr gets sick or whatever,
something happened to him. He gets in a. loss. >> Happen with me. I I wouldn't even go. like out of this little just right above. the atmosphere. I wouldn't even do that. I wouldn't do that. Katy Perry went to. space. >> Did she? I don't know. I I read. yesterday she went to space. >> People said that they went to space, but. that was so It was very like that. was very sketch. They're like waving at. people. There was like friends coming up. to the edge. It was like this isn't in. space. [laughter] Like that. >> Would you go? Would you go? >> I don't know. We're this planet. up so much. We don't need to be.
exporting whatever we're doing. >> I don't need to. I [clears throat] don't. believe I like we belong on a rocket. >> Yes. Right now. >> Like you know what I'm saying? Like I I. still I still getting I'm still getting. used to flying. >> Yeah. >> In planes. >> Well, do you know what I do think. though? Oh, this is a good question. Let's let's answer this for people. The. Aremis missions are NASA's current. program to return humans to the moon and. use it as a stepping stone for future. trips to Mars. >> Inhabit another planet. We're not going. to. You can't. >> But. >> so why are we going up there? I guess, you know, I guess we're.
>> But that's I don't like that when. somebody's like, "Hey, I want to come. visit you, but really they're just. staying overnight so they can go visit. somebody else further away." I don't. like some of that. >> I don't know if I've ever thought about. that. >> Well, that's what we're doing. It says, "Cry out the moon to Mars strategy. Land. astronauts on the moon." We're basically. using the moon for a place to relax for. a little while. Establish a sustainable. long-term human presence on the moon. rather than just short-term flags and. footprints visit like the Apollo dog. some of this Flags and footprints. also was the name of the um allmale.
dance team at uh at Coington High School. when I was there. >> Yeah, that's that's pretty good. >> They were state champs. >> Yeah. Yeah. But who's going to go? How. do you Okay, let's say let's say. >> we get to the point, right? We get to I. interrupt you. >> No, no, no. I'm going say let's say we. get to the point where people like, "All. right, we're ready to move up there.". >> It's like, okay, how how many who's. going up there first with what? Like. what are you going up there with some. 2x4s? Like you got to build a brick and. mort. Like you got to build a house. You. got to have some type of currency. You.
got to have like a a bank, a restaurant. Like who who's who's going up there. building that stuff? Like you need. enough and then you need enough people. Like I don't understand. I don't. understand. I don't understand. How many. people do you need to inhabit the moon. at the exact same time to make it a. thing where people live there and go. about their daily lives there? Like. what's it going to be like? Or is it. just going to be like prehistoric at. first? Do you like signing up to go up. there and live in a tent and like just. live off the land and have no. entertainment? Like. >> you mean like um like like that thing.
they do in the desert every year? What. is it? >> Like Burning Man. >> Like Burning Man. >> Yeah. It's like what how how do you. properly inhabit like you know, >> brother? This is for the elites. So. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> This is for the elites. You know, they're not bringing a couple giggle. monkeys like us up there. This is for. the elites. I think this is like they're. planning to do like. >> like they can't do an Epste anymore. I. think they're looking for like Epstein's. orb, you know? We're going to find a. place where we can really be nasty out. here. >> Yeah. It's like maritime law out there.
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you're in. the international war, [laughter]. international air. >> Yeah. >> So, I think that like I don't know. There is a big part of me, dude, that. and I [clears throat] really there's a. big part of me that questions this. Doesn't believe it, but it questions it. Like, >> you don't think we went? >> I don't know if we went. I do believe. one, they're trying to distract us from. a lot of the horrible things that are. going on in the world right now that. we're a part of. >> Um, >> sure. >> So, I do think that there's some of that. because there's a lot of these weird. things like one lady's mother gets. kidnapped. They can't find her, you.
know, but they can tell you where your. Door Dash order is missing and where. it's been or whatever, but you can't. find one lady. >> That's wild that she's still. >> But she disappears from a porch. You you. got nothing. >> Right. Right. But we're going to move to. the moon. >> Right. But we're going to move to the. moon. So, yeah. I think there's like. some of it's that it's like, oh, we need. a trip to the moon. That'll get get. people excited. You know what I'm. saying? Like something to distract us. >> The pictures look crazy though. You saw. the pictures of Earth. >> I have seen them. Bring some of them up. >> That's W. It's wild. It's like. >> But I think Yeah, it could be that maybe. something is Do you ever start to worry.
that something is going to happen to. Earth and that that's why there's like I. mean cuz it's kind of it seems like a. weird time to send some people out to. look at the moon. Do you agree? >> I think anytime I don't know if there's. ever a right time. I guess I I agree. with you. I I'm always thinking. something's going to happen. I think. maybe right after Christmas or something. he said a couple thousand. [laughter]. >> They always have those they always have. those things where it's like uh those um. predictions from like Aristo like it's. like you know or like they predicted in. the field. >> No Thomas. Yeah. Uh and it's like have.
they come true? >> That's a good question dude. Oh these. are some of the photos. I mean, bro, it's pretty. wild that we're out here like that. And. dude, you're telling me this Hold. on. You're telling me the best we can do. is some guy takes this with his thumb in. front of the thing? [laughter]. >> That's the kind of that makes me. feel like I know it makes. >> I would have deleted that one. >> I would have deleted that one,
[laughter] you know, like. >> Yeah, dude. >> Yeah, man. I can't imagine seeing that. with my own eyes, though. That's wild. >> And then the moon, bro. That is. vibby though. She's mixed. >> Yeah, >> she's mixed for sure, dude. Oh, look at. that. I don't know, dude. I don't I mean I. think I'm I think I'm. >> Who wants to live there? >> It's just I don't know. It looks like. I don't know. Maybe. >> you ever do zero gravity.
>> like you ever do that floating around. like the space? >> No, I've never done it. Have you? >> No. My buddy did it. He said it's it's. one of the craziest things he's ever. felt in his life. Imagine just flying. just flying in this room right now. Like. if you just stood up and pushed if you. pushed yourself off the chair and just. just started floating over there. That's. got to be wild. >> Beep beep. >> As long as I make that sound while I. float. If I don't make that sound, bro, I don't believe it. [laughter]. >> I want to do that. I would really want. to do that. Like to at least feel that. sensation.
>> I wonder if Dude, I can't even imagine. like some of the f like imagine like. your the children. This is kind of sad, but I don't mean it in like a real sad. way. I guess I just mean it in some. curiosity of emotion. Like your parent. or your brother or something is like. going up to the moon at that time cuz. the Challenger like was it headed to the. moon? >> It's a great question, huh? >> I feel like yes, cuz where else would it. be going? Bro, they were blasting people. out in whatever it would be like, [laughter].
you know, they were just they were just. just trying to get like shoot extra. scenes for Airbud up there. They were. doing the [laughter] moon. >> The space shuttle was designed in a low. Earth orbit space truck and did not have. the engine power, fuel capacity to reach. the moon. >> Okay. >> No, the Challenger was not headed to the. moon. Um, >> the shuttle mission that tragically. ended in a disaster was scheduled for a. six-day mission in orbit around Earth to. deploy a communications satellite and. study Haley's comet. Dang. Imagine how. excited you must have been. I wonder if. they were scared before. Is there any.
interviews of those people right before. they left? >> Oh jeez. Yeah. >> Just to also kind of honor them a little. bit. What date did that happen as well, Trevan? Do you know? >> Like 80 I feel like it was like mid mid. >> 86. >> Wow. >> 86. So we're coming up on a 40-y year. anniversary of it. >> First ordinary citizen. I mean, are you. expected to be the ordinary speaker. who's out there? That was a year after. Amy and Stu Shankman got married. >> That was what? >> Two months after Amy and Stu Shankman. got married. [laughter].
>> Um, okay. This is Chris Christa Mccau. McAuliff. >> The teaching profession and students and. um the whole country is really going to. benefit from this. We hopefully are. going to know an awful lot more about. what life is like aboard the shy. sounds like she's from uh Rhode Island. a little bit. Where was she from? >> New Hampshire. >> Yeah, you were right.
>> It's pretty close. >> Isn't that close? That's really close. >> Yeah. >> Sorry. She was still close. >> Close enough. >> Yeah. Rhode Island. It's right there. >> She reminded the lady was like cool. coffee, ice coffee. You seen that lady? I think we talked about this before. You. haven't? >> No. >> Bring up the lady at the Dunkin Donuts. that burned down. Sorry. This is. [laughter]. >> I mean, this is the problem with the. internet, dude. We're trying to pay. homage or homage to uh Christa McCaule. And then uh bring up that. Yeah. Duncan. Donnut. [laughter].
You seen this? You haven't. >> with my boy Dutch. Dude, you never seen. this? >> No. >> This is uh hold on. This I got to tell. the lore of it. >> Jim Norton put us on this and this has. carried on now for like almost 10 years. when uh a Dunkin Donuts burned down in. Shimoken. Coffee shop in Shimokin is. closed following an arson over the. weekend. Police say a teenager is. responsible for all that damage. News. Watch 16's Nikki Cry joins us live from. the central Pennsylvania newsroom with. more tonight. Nikki, >> Julie, a lot of people in Shimoken are.
upset that Dunkin Donuts is closed. because they didn't have anywhere else. to go for coffee and donuts. Today, we. also learned new information about the. teenage girl police charged with setting. the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin Donuts. on West Sunberry Street in Shimokin. The. popular doughnut shop is closed until. further notice because of extensive fire. damage. >> There's a lot of people that's. definitely going to miss it. No doubt. about it. >> A teenager is charged with starting a. fire inside the restaurant on Saturday.
night. Shimoken police officer Ray. Psycho says no one was hurt. The place. has extensive damage. Psycho says the. fire [laughter] was started inside the. women's bathroom. The toilet paper. dispenser was lit on fire and within. about a minute the entire place was. filled up with smoke. >> Mother did explain that she's recently. been put on new medication. >> For what reason? We're not sure. >> The 13-year-old who admitted to setting. the fire is currently at a juvenile. detention showing blurred pictures.
>> Many people who live in the Dunkin. Donuts is closed. Now I have to rely on. myself to go to maybe a Turkey Hill or. something where I don't like their. donuts. I rather the donuts at Dunkin. Donuts and I'm [laughter] kind of. dealing with it, but I really miss. Dunkin Donuts. I [laughter]. >> This guy's the best though, boy. This my. boy Dutch Smith right here, bro. >> Chicken Baker croissant where I get some. coffee, Power Raid. If I'm dehydrated, I. sit there [laughter] all the time. If I. have any like legal work that I need to.
do, I go there. I meet with my. attorneys. >> Legal work. They hit legal work. [laughter]. >> I sit there all the time. If I have any. like legal work that I need to do, I go. there. I meet with my attorneys there. [laughter]. >> And then this is a lady and Jim Norton. dressed up like this lady for Halloween. >> Oh no. Did he? >> Yeah. One year. Which [laughter] was the. best thing I've ever seen. I hope he. does it again allegedly. And uh but. let's let's start at the beginning of. her again. >> I'm going to miss that place when if it. don't open up. [laughter].
>> Yeah. A lot of my friends go in there, get the cold coffee, the ice coffee, I. guess it's called. People miss their. [laughter]. >> Yeah, there you go. >> Gosh, dude. >> But when she said coffee, it reminded me. a little bit of uh. >> of ice. >> Yeah. Oh, and go look at the comments on. there. Is there any great comments on. their Google reviews? There's got to be. >> Oh, so funny. Went for a donut place. burned down. >> No, I said that. >> No, [laughter] no, I'm saying. uh. >> two stars. Here we go. Not open due to.
being set on fire, but [laughter] other. but otherwise a classy place to hydrate. or so I'm told. That's Nicholas Sordy. right there. Now I have to rely on myself to go to. maybe a Turkey Hill where I don't like. their donuts or I rather the donuts at. Dunkin Donuts and I'm kind of dealing. with it, but I really miss Dunkin. Donuts. [laughter]. Shout out Felix. >> Oh, it's the best dude. Dude, you said. Airbud before. It made me think like.
there was so many dog movies when I was. growing up. So many dog celebrities, >> right? There was like. >> 10. >> Rinsen, right? Yeah. The Chihuahua. The. you know the Are there any more? >> They talk about Chihuahua. >> Yeah. What happened? [laughter]. >> Remember him? >> They talk with his hat again. >> They talk about Chihuahua. >> You don't remember him? >> I remember him. I brought him up. >> Turner and Hooch. Dude, what happened to. dog Hollywood? What happened to dog Hollywood? Lassie,
Benji, Kujo, Clifford, Airbud, Spuds, McKenzie. It was all these dog dogs like. big big dog personalities. >> Yep. Heathcliffe, Snoopy, >> Snoopy. >> Uh uh. Uh uh. >> other ones. >> Yeah, there's more. >> There's more. All Dogs Go to Heaven. There was a lot. >> Turner and Hooch. >> Turner and Hooch. Um. >> but I'm saying like they were like big. bankable dog stars, >> right? They don't you don't see that. much anymore. >> That's a great point. Yeah. I wonder. what happened. Why are there no more.
animal stars in Hollywood? [laughter]. >> Animal stars are disappearing from. Hollywood primarily due to the rise of. sophisticated CGI and AI. >> Ah, >> I don't know if I feel like that's true. though. >> Yeah. I mean, yeah, because it's not the. same. You don't need to, you know what I. mean, >> right? People know the love of a dog. They want that. You can't replace it, >> right? Yeah. I think I think we're. primed and ready for our next big dog. star probably. >> Imagine the tour he would go on. >> Is Airbuds still doing Is Airbuds still.
doing it? >> I don't know. I know. I read the other. day that they're going to get uh that. some dog can now live longer based on. some new medicines that they're giving. them. They can live a lot longer. >> Really? >> And some people were happy about it and. some people apparently were not. They. were only expecting their dog to live. for so long. >> Well, that's I want a dog, but I I can't. get one right now. I got to wait till. like I stop touring so much and the kids. are little. But like I want a dog, but. one of the reasons I like I'm hesitant. is because like. you're really signing yourself up for a. heartache in like 10 to 12 years or.
something, you know? Like my dogs all. died 8 years, 10 years, 12 years, 14. years, you know? >> Oh yeah, bro. >> I mean, if if they if that's a real. thing, like is that a real if they're. giving them medicine or whatever to help. them live longer? >> Yeah, >> I'll buy into that. >> Yeah. Will you look that up for me? um. hamsters and grandparents. So, it's like. how children learn about. >> about death a lot of times, you know, in. a sad way. >> Yeah. >> It's like you need that element to teach. your kid to give your kid a uh. >> you know, a gateway to death or what?
Like a way to see it. But they had. Sounder. That was a huge movie. Remember. that? They had Old Yeller. >> Old Yeller. That's another one. >> That was a huge movie. That was a huge. movie. >> Yeah, that was massive. That was back in. the like little prairie house in the. Prairie times. A San Francisco biotech. company, Loyal, is developing drugs. aimed at extending dogs healthy. lifespans by lowering high levels of the. hormone IGF-1, which accelerates aging. in larger dogs. The leading candidates, including the daily pill uh their. leading candidates, including the daily.
pill. The drugs work by reducing levels of. insulin-like growth factor 1, a hormone. that drives rapid growth in young dogs, but contributes to faster aging and. shorter lifespan in larger mature dogs. >> I thought you I thought you would be. asking me. >> Oh, no. I just saw some information. [clears throat] about this the other day. that was really interesting. Um, what. else was in the news that was something. that was kind of worth discussing? I. don't know if we want to go down too. many heavy roads. Oh, has there been. something your children have wanted to.
ask for uh that you had to say no? Like. or is there like like a tough parenting. thing that you kind of like like just. tell me what some of that's like? Give. me something from like the parenting. world cuz I'm just curious about it, you. know? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My my daughter went. through a sleep regression recently. So. like. >> sleep what? >> Regression. Okay. >> So like she you sleep through the night. fine but then you know they start. developing their brain starts. developing. start having uh dreams and. you know and they get a little more like. they start to understand stuff more. So. like we'd watch like Home Alone all the.
time, right? She loves Home Alone and. she just saw a face value. She loved it. She knew what was going on. Like she was. two but she like got everything. She got. a little older and then she started then. out of nowhere even though she watched. Home Alone like 50 times she like. started to get scared from it uh from. Marvin Harry. >> Yeah. >> Right. So one day like she kept she kept. say like in the car she'd be like, "Dad, are Marvin Harry following us?" like out. of nowhere one day and I'm like no. they're not they're not are Marvin Harry. after us. >> Oh that's. >> and I'm like bab they're not after us at.
all. They're after Kevin's toys. It's. like trying to make it you know. Oh. yeah. All right. But they are they going. to come for me? I'm like no Marvin and. Harry are fun. They're just after. Kevin's toys. Kevin's going to put them. through the ringer. It's all good. And. then like in the middle of the night she. liked dad I'm scared goes and I come and. she like Marvin Harry coming. And I'm. like my wife's like you shouldn't have. made her watch Home Alone. I'm like she. loved it. It wasn't until recently that. she started getting scared. You know. what I mean? But she'll call and be. like, "So, you can't go up there. You. have to go up there." Like, this is what. got really hard. Like going up there.
like they're always testing the limits. of what they can control and not control. and pushing boundaries. So, that's the. whole few years is like they're pushing. boundaries. So, they try to see what. they can get over on you. Like so if you. if they want you to come upstairs and. they cry and that brings you upstairs, they know that that's going to get you. upstairs every time. >> You have to break that habit. You have. to like So so there's times where it's. like she's like crying and like dad. please come upstairs and I'm like. downstairs and like you can't you can't.
go up, you know? And it's the worst. feeling cuz you want to run as soon as. she's like. >> but you know it's a trap. It's a trap. But like, but also she's cunning. Like. she'll she's she'll say that she. knows is going to tug at my. heartstrings. I'd have to ignore her. crime. And she'll start saying stuff. like, "Dad, please, Dad. I I I need you. I miss you." Like, you know, >> right? The ship is leaving the shore. Just things that she's seen. [laughter].
And you're like I'm like literally like. uh downstairs like she doesn't see me. but I'm like right under the door and me. and my wife are standing there and I'm. just like I got tears in my eyes. I'm. just like I need to go you know. You. can't. It's tough. It's tough. >> So parenting. So yeah, you got to really. like I guess you have to be the dad. You. have to sometimes you have to be the. leader. Huh. And sometimes you you want. to just be the that the the buddy. >> I want them to be able to like they want. to sleep. She'll be like please can I. come sleep with you guys? I want to I. want her to do that so bad. like we. can't do it cuz like it opens up you.
know like then it's like you know. >> oh yeah. >> but some I know families that sleep that. all the kids sleep in the bed and that's. that but like you know it could be tough. like if you if you have work and travel. a lot and stuff like that. >> if you're not a little house on the. prairie then that's kind of like back. then yeah you need it for warmth and. stuff and it's like that [laughter]. >> yeah but I want to do it but I I've so. far we haven't done it because I just. feel like I don't want to start bad. habits you know but. >> and is it tough with like you with your. wife you have the debate on what are. good habits and bad like is that is it.
or do you guys communicate? >> Yeah, we're on the same page. It's. pretty it's pretty straightforward, you. know, like. >> but uh yeah, it's you going to you you. want kids. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. We talked about this all night. You should have kids. >> If you want them if you do like if you. want kids, have kids, you know, like. >> I think I do. I mean I think the most. you can get to is like I think I want. them. I really like nobody's like if. you're like yelling in the park or. whatever, I want kids. is you're going. to go to jail, [laughter] you know, or. or you're going to get elected.
>> But if you're just like, >> yeah, >> but so I think the safest thing I say, yeah, I think I would really like to. have kids. I have to have a spouse that. is like we can go down that road. together. Um, and then, you know, some. of it I think it's like if that's going. to be part of go if God wants that for. me in my life, you know, and if I'm. willing to set my life up enough where. it's a possibility cuz God I don't think. he would he would bless me with children. if it wasn't like a safest environment. either, you know. Sure. I I think you. should do it. I always tell you that. >> But yeah, I would like to have I think. more and more I would like to have that.
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, I would like to have the. chance to love something that's. different and to have like a new. different type of like connection in the. world, you know, just to experience what. connections there are because um it's. I'm sure it's like totally different. I. mean, last time we hear you were saying. just how different it is. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to do. it. You got to do [clears throat] it. Especially if you want them because it's. not there's nothing better. You'll be. you'll feel so fulfilled, man. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You'll feel so fulfilled. >> And I want probably six or five kids, bro. >> I know. I That's It's like [snorts] when. you start having them, you'll see.
>> Or Yeah. >> You'll see like you won't you want as. many as possible. It's that that's why. people just keep having them. Dude, in. the old days, man, people had them with. reckless abandon, >> bro. People would have a kid. They like, "Oh, where's my kid?". >> They'd be at the store, they would leave. a kid. They have to come back. Hey, we. left a kid on your shelf or whatever. >> Yeah. >> Some kids in the freezer. He's just. like, "Yeah, >> people used to have kids back in the. day. so many kids that like some of them. would just like perish. >> perish and then they was just like ah we. lost a couple of them. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> Albert stayed. >> We still have 10 of them but we lost a. couple. >> Yeah. Albert stayed in Mano. We didn't.
we hadn't seen you know. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> He stayed winded off and we hope he's. all right. >> I know. He wandered off in Rochester. He. had Look, he had a bag of food with him. You know, you're like that's crazy. >> I don't know how you focus on You had. How many siblings you got? >> I just had one, two, three, four. Three. total. >> Okay. >> Would you have besides me? Three. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That's a fun amount. Yeah. You So you're. a family. You You had four of you guys. still together. >> Yeah. Yeah. Uh. >> if you could go back and be a kid, what's one moment you would go back to. in your child? Like a like a uh was it. like a birthday party or a time or like.
it could just be a general? It doesn't. have to be specific either. >> Yeah. Like what was like the funnest holiday. you guys had or something. Was there one. that was just. >> going to my grandma? My grandma would. host Christmas and like all the cousins. would come over. >> and uh and that was fun cuz she had like. this really old house that was a two. family with a big basement and a big old. attic. >> Yeah. >> And we all used to go up in the attic. and cause like hi jinks and hide and. >> and uh like I just like that those those. days were the the best days where you.
could just like run around the house. playing hide-and-seek and like feel like. it was the best thing that ever happened. to you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Just. >> not all this like you didn't. know anything yet. It's just about. playing, hanging out, you know? >> I know. Like the world. Yeah. It seems. like it should be able to be such a. simpler world, doesn't it? That's the. thing that I think gets me a lot. It's. like. >> go hang out in the woods. >> Yeah. >> Like. >> like when I was young there was like it. was so much less like underdeveloped.
>> And there was just like woods. everywhere. >> Oh, there was Native American. You'd have a guy that chisled a. couple tits into a, you know, into a. birch tree or whatever. You have. somebody, you know, there was like a. grave somewhere. Somebody a couple of. tits. >> had just buried somebody. Like the woods. used to be crazy, bro. Cuz you'd see. some guy been living there. >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. >> There'd be some pornography or whatever. >> Pornography. Yeah. Always. >> somebody buried pornography, but they, you know, they draw like an arrow. It's. like, hey, pornography. So they didn't. forget where it was. Like dude, >> that's where I saw our my first porn.
back was in the woods. >> Oh, everybody, which is crazy, bro. But. you're right there with nature, dude. Oh, dude. I remember the first time I. masturbated, bro. I didn't even know. what was going to happen with like your. body or whatever. >> Right. Right. Right. >> And I remember like something kind of. like kind of came outside of my body and. I remember trying to put it back into my. penis with my finger. >> Yeah. >> And I heard my mom like downstairs and I. was like trying to get it all back in. >> before she Yeah. >> Oh. [laughter]. >> So yeah, I was like Yeah. So obviously.
>> Yeah. I had a lot of intimacy issues. over the years, bro. Let's get this. question. Let's get this answer in, dude. early 1800s. Um, let me see. Over. the past three centuries, the average. number of children per women in most of. the world has declined sharply, roughly. from 5 to seven kids per woman in the. early 1800s to 2.25 per kids per woman. today in many countries. >> I think it's even less than that now. >> Yeah, >> I think I read something where they said. like uh people are having the least. amount of kids that in in in history. right now.
>> Maybe there'll be a rebirth of it, you. know? Maybe there will be something new. that happens. I do. Do you feel like I. feel like you know I didn't want to get. into like important like heavy stuff. today but this just like it feels like. it's a tough time in the world for a lot. of people. >> dude you imagine like octo mom you like. you have eight babies in your stomach. you give you give birth to eight babies. at the same exact time. >> that's dark look at and look at. that thing she had on it bro it's like. whenever you ever see that spider that's. got the big thing on it like it's. pregnant. >> yeah that's wild bro like imagine you.
have no kids and then you have eight. kids Yeah, >> I think she already had like five kids. >> Oh my god. Are you serious? >> Yeah. Just watch a documentary on that. >> How do you How do you give the time you. need to each of these kids? Yo, what do. you do when you You want people like. like they're like, "Guess what? Twins.". And they're like, "Oh my god, two. How. are we going to do this?" Like eight, bro. Eight. How do you even How do you. even. >> What's the first thing you do when. there's eight There's eight. >> two-day old babies. The first thing.
>> like they're like tomagotchis. >> Like you like literally just have to. like. >> check the batteries on all of them. >> Holy. >> dude. Get you some ice coffee. Cool. coffee. Ice coffee. >> You have a You have a Tamagotchi? >> No, I never had one. >> Do you remember that? >> Oh, I do remember them. And it didn't. hit us super hard. Our family. >> I was a little older. >> We weren't into like a lot of the Asian. kind of stuff that much. We was like. doing Hulk Hogan type of Dude, I. remember I had to do a roast of this of. the Nadia Sulleimon who was the Octimom. who had who had eight children who was.
kind of a celebrity for a while. Was or. not a celebrity. I mean, everybody's. kind of a celebrity these days, but she. was like kind of in the limelight or. whatever, you know. Yeah. >> For that. Yeah. >> You roasted her. >> We had to roast her and dude, I remember. I got there and I thought it would be. fun and everything and you get there and. you're like, "Oh, this feels there's. part of it that feels really mean.". >> Oh, really? Do you remember writing the. jokes? I mean they were e I mean some of. them were probably good and some of them. were probably not good. >> What what what scenario was she being. Why was she being roasted? >> It was just a It was uh the Haha Comedy.
Cafe over there in uh over there. Yeah. [clears throat] In. >> Burbank. Yeah. >> It's kind of off. It's off Langers, I. think. But um yeah, Jack Junior, his. family over there. It's their club. It's. a great spot. And. >> yeah, I've done some spots. >> Yeah. And so, um, but they had the roast. of her there and but and it was just. other people were on the the de or the. docket or whatever and it just like it. was interesting. It was fun, >> but it was also like there was a moment. you're like, "Oh, this is me." Cuz. they're sitting right there and you. think like. >> the kids were there, [laughter].
>> bro. It's like eight kids just staring. at you rip on them. [laughter]. >> That' be crazy, bro. >> She was Oh, she was there. >> She was there. But it was just kind of a. lot, bro. And I couldn't tell if she was. trying to flirt or whatever. And I was. like, I'm getting out of here, you know. >> Yeah. You can't you can't even you need. to wear two condoms. >> Oh, I wouldn't even sneeze. God forbid. >> You got Yeah, you can't even sneeze. I. wouldn't even let an eyelash fall out. around her. [laughter]. >> Next thing you know, you have eight. children. >> Oh, and blessings to her children. Let's.
get a gander at him. I want to see them. And who knows now she may, you know, I I. can't imagine what that's like. No way. Updated look. >> Oh, is that them now? Do they all look. like. >> Wow, they look healthy and good. Yeah, they look like they all. like they look like they weren't one of. eight. >> Yeah, >> they look like they were their own. >> Imagine how that's got to be to break. out of like, you know. >> Well, I mean, how much could they have. weighed when they were born yet? You got. eight kids in there. >> You got eight kids. I probably I would. guess how much they weighed. Let's guess.
and we and we'll wager whoever wins. >> What's the prize? >> Uh. I don't know. do something for like uh. moon research or whatever. [laughter]. $30 towards moon research. >> Towards moon research. Okay. >> I think it's just it's probably going to. end up just somehow going to Israel, but. we'll just [laughter]. we'll call it moon research. >> I think um you got size eight if there. were f there's no way she could be. >> This is a good game show question. Yeah,
it is. Right. There's no way she'd be. walking around with. >> The average kid when they're born is. like six, seven pounds, right? So. there's no way she's walking around with. 50 lbs of kids in there, >> right? Yeah. That's in That's a lot. Now. look at the You can get a gander at it. right there when she got that front. really launched. >> And that thing that is crazy. >> So I'm going to say, >> damn. I'm going to say they were about. They had three and a half pounds each, something like that. >> Okay. You going three and a half? I'm. going to go I'm going to go Yeah. 3.15.
>> That's still crazy. That's still 20. something pounds a kid in there. >> Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah, that's crazy. But they can't be much. less than 3 lbs. >> I'm going 2.2. >> All right. 2.2, which means for eight. kids, she was still hauling around 17. lbs. >> Yeah. 17 pounds. >> 17. That's 2.2 was a small kid. >> Well, does it can we find out? >> 3.4. >> Oh, no way. On the Sulleon octop. octopullet. before. Oh, >> octop. >> Octoplets born on January 26, 2009.
Weighed between 1 lb 8 o and 3 lb 4 oz. Oh, so some of them. >> Oh, that's double the other kid. A 1B 8. oz kid is wild, bro. That's wild. When. were they born? >> 2009. That's about 24 years after Amy. and Steu Shankman got married. [laughter]. >> Hey, God bless the [laughter] Shankman. and may we wish them many million more.
years. If you ever get to meet with. them, man, I want to see the I want to. see I want to see the tape of you guys. meeting up together. Um, s you got uh. Man, your new show. >> Man is in the show and uh Foul Play. >> Foul Play is on now on TBS. People can. check it out with Anthony Davis and he's. he's in every episode. >> Yeah. >> Okay, great. >> He's in every and all other athletes and. stars and stuff like that. And uh yeah, I'm on tour. Salvocdy.com for tickets. Um, got up till June announced, but I'm. going to be doing all of Canada in.
October and then I'm going to be doing. UK and Europe in 27. Yeah. Yeah. And. then probably come back around, get the. last few cities I haven't gotten to. here. Maybe film this next special, maybe in Boston or something like that. >> I love Boston. >> Yeah. >> Do you think your family will go hit the. road with you? >> I'm going to try to maybe take him out. to the UK. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Visit Ari out there and stuff. >> Oh, yeah. >> So, that should be fun. And then, uh, yeah. And then what else? I guess. Yeah. Jokers will be out starting July. It'll. be season 13. It's crazy. >> Well, um, you guys can find everything. We'll share all the links, man, and. we'll share everything for you, dude.
And S, thanks for coming and just. spending time with us. And. >> of course, man, thanks for having me. I. love you. >> It's kind of cool. I love you, too, man. And thanks for just telling us about the. Shankman's and just. >> Let's find them. I I can't wait. Yeah, I. got to look. We got to You're going to. help me find them, man. >> Amy and Stew, the Shankman's, they're. looking for you. Um, all right. Blessings, bro. Thank you so much, baby. I'm just floating on the breeze and I. feel I'm falling like these [music]. leaves. I must be corner stone.
Oh, but when I [music] reach that. ground, I'll share this [singing] piece. of mind I found. I can feel it in my. bones. But it's going to take.
