Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #506

I want to announce that we have a show. in Cork Ireland now on June 9th at live. at the Marquee New York City New York. May 31st. Belfast London Idaho Falls Salt Lake. City and Las Vegas Nevada there Fourth. of July weekend will'll be there in Las. Vegas Nevada for two nights at Resorts. World you can get all tickets at theo. comom and thank you for your support and.

if tickets are too expensive make sure. you're not buying them on a secondary. site you got to do that that's why we. suggest go through uh through the. website and um and if they're too if. they're if they're sold out or something. and they're expensive on secondary sites. just hold the line we'll come back. through some other time I love you guys. baby thank you today's guest has his. first standup special terrified. premiering on YouTube on May.

31st um he is one of the most energetic. and. engaging um and humorous humans that. I've ever met uh you know him from. Impractical. Jokers um and just from the years of Joy. he's brought to all of us today's guest. is Mr s. [Music]. volcano I'll sit and tell you my story.

shine on. me and I. will. [Applause]. sing good to see you man love you nice. to see you good to see you dude um man. yeah some yeah we just we waited to like. say hey to each other kind of until the. episode started oh so this is the app.

started now yeah okay okay so yeah I'm. just letting people know because. sometimes yeah you start the episode and. it's like oh man we're already going and. um and then it's like you you are you. just kind of will get rid of some of the. good energy in the beginning man yeah. yeah yeah I got it I got the good energy. I was looking forward to seeing you man. yeah same dude 100% um yeah so what's. different oh yeah so the other place. like we still have like our um producers. that work there every day um uh we got. Zach and Nick and they work over there. just making sure everything's smooth.

planning ahead yeah you know and then. yeah it's been different being here you. know yeah but you don't how far are you. from here this is not you don't post you. stay here or I live here you live where. we're at right now yeah oh okay I. thought you like arrived from somewhere. else oh you've been here I've been here. oh I thought you like arrived here I was. like it's a big office man I was like. damn I fell asleep here oh okay okay. okay right no this is your your.

permanent area yeah that's my res oh. right on okay oh yeah that's my legal. residence man oh that's so cool all. right so then this is this is a great. setup dude yeah it's good when you when. you when you went to scope the place out. this had to be like a big selling point. that you could make the like well this. that this existed kind of was like oh. wow so I could maybe make this work you. know yeah I wish there was a little more. space sometimes up here or yeah up here. um though yeah I mean it's been look. that's the thing it's like do I need.

more like I looked at a house the other. day that has like a like basically the. front is kind of almost an office okay. um and I would like well I could do that. and then I'm like but do I need more you. know it's I think it's about figuring. out what you really need kind of yeah. man and what you want you know I don't. know and then I'm not home as much as I. would like to be so you you do a lot of. Road still right now right yeah yeah. still touring and then sometimes I'll go. do podcast on the road yeah yeah I know. what you mean I'm I'm I've been trying.

to like uh I live in a condo still I've. been trying to build a house oh wait. weren't you guys building a house for a. while we talked about this last time is. that true dude no joke I haven't. progressed at all oh we're supposed to. like knock down a house and build a. house and I had to go through the. process of like I don't know anything. about this stuff like getting getting. like an architect and like you know. making the plans and then demoing the. thing and you know I don't not handy I. don't I don't really know anything about. this stuff and uh it's just been like. the.

the worst experience really yeah we had. stuff and start squatting aren't you in. New York I am yeah yeah I bought the I. bought the property okay years ago I. thought I'd be living there already but. it's all about so we've been making. refinements so it's like that's what. river or something it's by the the. Hudson yeah like the you know it's by. the New York there on the water it's. yeah it's pretty dope like like I I have. questioned in the last three years like. not doing it like three three times. already and just saying [ __ ] it because. like it's just been so tough to do and.

that's me no worries you got to get it. says this no you know what that said. you're going to laugh at me it said no. smoking no junk except fruit every day. that's my. alarm wow just to make sure yeah cuz you. know when I smoke we like I I I eat it's. no good so you you'll smoke and then you. you will eat I I play this game myself. where it's like all right if I smoke. tonight I'll let myself smoke if I don't. eat if I eat I can't smoke and then when.

you're hot you just like you're like. yeah but you know and it just happens. over and over and over and over it's. like but it's not even like we're. laughing but it's like an issue oh yeah. you know what I'm saying like and I'm. just like I was trying to lose weight. you know cuz I I shot the special and I. was like trying to lose weight for that. and so I did really good I lost like a. ton of weight you look a lot leaner. thanks yeah yeah it's been over time but. like it's it's from like my heaviest. like a year and a half ago probably down. 50 what I fluctuate up and down 50 my. whole life though so like now I'm trying. to like break down even like the next.

get down to like the next 20 or whatever. and it's just it's just tough because. cuz I'm so stressed like oh yeah that's. the first thing is like at the end of. the night I cannot turn off you can't I. can't turn off my brain unless I just. smoke a little and otherwise I won't be. able to sleep I won't be able to just. like stop everything is keep racing so. yeah dude I would love to be able to. have that I wish I could smoke dope or. even smoke crack honestly sometimes but. but yeah then it's like how do you also. get some rest I guess but yeah going to. rest with the crack though yeah I don't.

know if you rest with the crack I don't. know I never really like I I feel I have. known people that have done crack I. haven't talked to them about it when I. say I know them I was probably a kid and. there was people that worked around. where I live with my and I think they. did crack that was a rumor wow but I. don't really I don't really know what. crack does it's a functional like the my. pillow guy um he does CRA he did it his. whole building the pillows you know. really yeah oh so good things can come. out of it yeah yeah like there all crack.

success stories oh yeah you know what. I'm saying oh wow is that what the. secret is is like crack in there like. they dust a pillow with crack before. they ship it people like yo this is the. best [ __ ] pillow I've ever had in my. life this is my pillow you can't have. that [ __ ] it's like crack Bay that guy. like this you know he just there's a guy. on the assembly line just like as as. they. pass no but like crack is like crack. like is it crack like cocaine or is it. like heroin or is it like both let's.

bring up a little bit of crack if you. can yeah and and it and bring up a crack. rock crack I. think crack was it hasn't been as big as. it was when we were younger when we were. younger it was like you know sleep. breathe crack like it was in the black. population too I think they and I think. there's documentaries and I haven't seen. this but I believe there's documentaries. that they believe it was Unleashed on. the black community or whatever I don't. know if it's true.

um and I'm not saying that it isn't true. I just haven't seen I didn't go down. I've never gone down that uh yeah but um. how do you uh how do you make it can you. give me some information on it yeah. what's but there's a beautiful picture. not be I mean there's different images. there's an assortment it looks like. crack had a had a photo session it looks. hold on a second cuz those are all like. how you shoot eBay items you know like. it's not like in the wild crack it's. like crack in a studio yeah it looks. like somebody made a uh a Sherie. board with cra bet there's been a drug.

party before where it's been laid out. like shakery like in highend the. high-end drug parties like in the hills. and stuff oh dude I heard B and like a. little bit of like oh yeah a little cam. bear a little um s. Croc like really appealing too like. people went to the party and they never. did drugs before but then they were like. looks good though oh yeah they're like. oh there's no way that crack rock. doesn't go with that fig Jam yeah fig. Jam is my favorite thing on that Shakur.

board it's not always on there but it is. it it's it gives you the sweetness that. you need to cut through yeah I love a. good fig Jam you know it's under valued. I think it's kind of the um it's. underappreciated yet it's costly which. is really the the deconomy about. probably undervalued but overpriced yeah. wow yeah when was the last time you had. fig Jam I think when you're saying it. when someone is when I've been at. someone's house that has.

um that has I guess rich or whatever and. they have uh fancy wine corkers or. whatever like that bottled the wine like. yeah and then they'll have a Sherie. board sometimes and but I got a shakuri. boy for the Super Bowl oh you did had. fig jam on it yeah it had fig Jam On It. really but it also had jalapeno poppers. on it it did no well I did have wings as. well I had wings I had other things. normally we'll make it but then uh my.

lady found found uh someone who did it. she went to a party and they had it and. she was like whoa and she got the number. and then we ordered it and they bring it. it it's like on a 4 foot board oh you. know and you know you got to pay a. little extra for it but for the guests. you know it's almost a level of like how. rich you're willing to be when you go. down the shakery boards because there's. also different sizes there's the um. there's the Noah's Arc there's the and. you can go all the way down to like the. Titan Santa Maria yeah yeah yeah there's. like the Nina. P sorry and that's your joke dude I.

stepped on it but um and yeah and you. can go all the way down to like Titanic. door like this small little yeah don't. have a let go yeah yeah you never want. to let go right right right I don't I. but I will tell you though I I stood. there calculating how much the the woman. actually paid like the actual wholesale. cost cuz I was like there was some there. was some things on there that there are. some things on there that make you go oh. okay but they're they're like you know. they're throughout but then there's also. like you know grapes. just cheat you know so I'm like looking.

at it I'm like man I guess it's labor. intensive I'll give her that okay cuz I. felt like she probably could have got. away with everything on there for like. under 200 and it was probably like 450. or something like that oh wow $450. Sharon it was like 4et well we had like. 35 people oh that's fair yeah oh yeah if. it feeds 35 dude I'll [ __ ] get one of. those every yeah but then like not we. had so much food not everyone ate it and. then I have like so much excess Cherie. and then I feel guilty because I'm like. I have to eat this I can't piss away. money like yeah so I'm just I was eating.

Shak cuder for like six seven days past. the Super Bowl really yeah just having. olives and pecans and just what yeah but. you know what it is 11 pistachios like. they always have like like seven or. eight like things yeah there's. unidentified things all the time I got. to like Google photo it I don't even. know I'm like what is this it it's like. I don't even know if it's cheese is it. cream you know there's nuts I never seen. in on there before Oh it gets Twigs very. vague towards the end like there's like. sometimes there'll be like a hoof meat.

there will be um like a something called. a neighborhood sausage you're. like yeah they give you like a they give. you like a legend like a key you're like. oh oh you got to try that's the. neighborhood sa but it's so most more. depressing eating it the week after. because it's bagged in like sandwich. bags in the fridge and so now I'm just. pulling out different bags of. unidentified meats and like like tasting. it and like the sodium levels that week. were probably through the roof really I. retained a lot of water that week yeah.

yeah oh that's another big issue I think. is one of the side effects of shuder of. Sherie boards is gout probably and. severe salt retention uh my buddy's. daddy if he had too much salt he. couldn't talk and uh and so I miss you. man oh yeah I miss you so he get his. [ __ ] dad like his dad would be drunk. and he get he get a bunch of [ __ ]. like he keep giving him potato chips and. [ __ ] and then it's [ __ ] if he know. was going to like steal the car that.

night the day before he'd be like give. his dad just a like a family like a like. a Costco bag of Ruffles yeah the dad so. he would he wouldn't chew him out when. he got home he would just look at him. like. furrowed with my G. unlocked yeah you ever have gout no I. never had on my stepdad had it I think. it basically salt builds up like in the. bends of your body huh i h i self. diagnosed Scout oh you just said you had.

it yeah I just said I I was trying to. will it first of all thank you for. admitting it a lot of people will have. [ __ ] like I had like a a stepdad. probably couldn't even move his arms or. anything he's like I don't have anything. wrong and meanwhile his [ __ ] like. Randy and a Christmas story in the. snowsuit yeah yeah you look like. that no I I I was getting these sharp. pains is that gout stuff right there. right there oh wow I never even Googled. gout and that's where I had it gout. happens when you're rate you are t-shirt.

gout happens gout happens yeah I didn't. mean to cut you off now no and that is. definitely a market that as we age we. can get into I think gout happens gout. happens right oh my stepdad will wear. that every day he'd wear the he'd wear. the. helmet he's got it so bad dude he's a. [ __ ] he shows up on the periodic. table of elements that dude has so much. salt in that dude's [ __ ] probably got. iodine in that's not good you ever talk. to him about huh we mentioned it you.

should cut cut his sodium down you know. we mention anything you could do for him. he's born free he wears a shirt that. says Born Free all the time so that's. not the kind of guy you can approach. about their so I think Born Free. essentially means gout habit you know. what I mean yeah yeah those are that's. an interchangeable shirt no I I had this. shooting pain like it would just come. out of nowhere out of nowhere but I mean. like your foot locks up and you can't. like you would have to like like You'. have to like tiptoe and put your weight. on the other foot out of nowhere right. and then would happen like um. could happen for two minutes could.

happen for like five minutes 10 minutes. and then it would just magically like a. Charlie or would just go away and I. didn't really know what it was I thought. I kind of I thought I broke my toe or I. had some something wrong with the actual. like infrastructure in. there and it would reoccur and go away. and reoccur and I was like I got to talk. to my so I went and I got x-rays and. they were like it's fine it's there's. nothing wrong with it like you're full. of [ __ ] and then I realized God because. it's not just salt I I heard like well. it is meats and stuff so I guess that is.

salt have salt shrimp I know haveit [ __ ]. that's the seafood said Seafood is a is. high in sodium I didn't really really. know that and I eat seafood thinking. like oh it's lean it's uh it's good. protein you know and um yeah it's a Lean. Cuisine of the ocean kind of it is it is. right yeah I uh and then I and then I. realized I I realized I I have I guess. you can have it you could have flare-ups. and it goes away cuz I hav't now knock. on wood this is going to be the this is. going to suck cuz I know I'm going to. bring it back now by saying it but I.

haven't really had it in like a year or. a year and a half but there was times. where I would get it like every few days. and it would strike anywhere at the most. inopportune times yeah yeah it's thank. you though God you know prayers you know. anything you could do for me you I love. how like you really you actually really. just got empathy for them for my gu oh. well I watched my stepdad he would have. so much like flare up or whatever he. couldn't even my stepmom would go put a. blanket on like I got. he couldn't even like even a Afghan or.

whatever couldn't touch his skin it. would [ __ ] hurt him too much god dude. let's give this information though gout. happens when urate a substance in your. body builds up and forms needle-shaped. crystals in your joints I don't even. know what that God yeah I got I had I. guess I have needle shaped crystals this. leads to pain swelling redness and. changes in the movement and use of the. affected joint however not everyone with. higher rate levels develop.

gout and does gout just go away maybe. look that up how it comes and goes away. yeah um I'm the pain is is. like you can't step use the foot yeah. you literally like it's almost like you. need a crutch but you don't have one cuz. you never know when a short friend yeah. you need a yeah you need anything really. any kind of support at all gout can go. away or return again and again oh my. gosh dude this is like one of those um. one of those Robert patson movies some.

people will go months or even years. without having another gout attack or. very rarely they may never have another. one. yeah it's like the mafia like you never. know what it's lurking over your. shoulder like it threatens you once and. then you just like you got a fall on. line I have psoriasis which is the same. exact thing I got a lot of like uh like. like uh autoimmune things that that like. threaten me then they go away but they. always there's always a threat of them. again yeah. yeah that's part one thing I just I.

guess about growing up is that that. stuff starts to happen um your special. is um yeah it's called terrified I shot. at the Vic in Chicago back in December. uh is this is my first actual one on. like for anything I recorded yeah I have. some like uh television sets and like. you know this is not happening this and. that but like most of my stuff I I just. never put it out there so like I finally. like had the time the runway to do it so. like big it's a big deal for me because. like czy people like a lot of a lot of.

people aren't educated that I am a. standup you know like my my fans are but. like just you know I want to reach like. you know so it's like this is a kind of. like my you know hopefully it'll reach a. lot of people yeah well I remember I. want what you and I got on a show. together at a. bookstore in New York I remember I think. when you were first starting to do. comedy yeah like it's well now let's. about uh proper stand up probably been. about eight eight years or so now yeah I. actually just was so funny cuz I was. like I was talking to my lady that I was.

coming here and uh we started talking. about you and I actually I went and. looked at cuz we we there was like eight. nine years ago you you visited uh this. we went we went out together for. Halloween me you and her and I found a. photo of us you did yeah I I found the. photo list and I was like I went it was. that far back but I had to go in like my. uh this is this is you this you you. dressed as a newsy and I was like a Run. DMC dude you were Run. DMC that was that was a fun night dude. that was a fun night I remember we went.

to a couple of good bars yeah we were. hopping around that was dude that was. nine years ago I can't believe I know. and then I found this one which I was. like I guess I forgot we did this but we. did a show together me you and Adam Ray. at the House of Blues in San Diego do. you even remember that dude I I remember. I showed up there with luggage for some. reason I remember I don't remember that. I definitely remember that and um cuz I. uh yeah I just remember cuz son you. don't have luggage with you yeah most of. your life you don't have luggage right.

no not most of the days no yeah so most. so so when I have luggage sometimes I. remember it especially if you're with. luggage at a place that you shouldn't. have luggage M it always feels so weird. oh if you go to lunch or somewhere and. you have to go to the airport after and. you [ __ ] walk into like a um you know. a uh I'm trying to think of a good place. that's well that place is closed down. but even like a Macaroni Grill like a. semi nice place where and you got the. luggage by your seat luggage you know. it's by your seat and and people are. like walking by and you're like yeah I.

know keep pulling your luggage in. especially in New York I'm sure if you. go to a cafe cuz a luggage will take up. probably 7% of a cafe yeah yeah yeah I. would say so yeah absolutely and then. forget about it if you have a large if I. have you large you probably just got to. eat in the park. prob you probably can't get it through. the. doorway well you I mean at that point. that's how homelessness starts I think. it's somebody that's somebody is meeting. somebody they're on their last they're. headed out of town and they're they're.

meeting somebody for lunch somebody's. like look I'll buy you a meal and you. realize your luggage is too big to get. into the cafe and they're like you got. to eat in the park I just got new. luggage so I'm like feeling good about. it oo yeah my old one I was still using. the like the cloth one like not a hard. case I I like the cloth one because it. used to like zipper the like the flat. was thin and the whole depth was one. side and I was I was hesitant to get oh. you were using that style I was doing. that with just the two wheels that you. had to Lug like like on like it was like. a hand truck I respect the two wheels.

yeah yeah yeah and I you know and I I. ended up getting that one because my. [ __ ] busted while I was at the airport. and then I had to run down and get. luggage at the airport and I bought it. and I was like all right and then I was. like oh man it was it was like M uh can. not you know was it wasn't like hard. case too so it got you know wet and dry. and wet and dry and but I like that it. was deep you know yeah oh I guess that's. true you have one side is deep you're. not deciding what side put stuff on. you know and I I resisted the hard case.

split for so long and uh and then. finally this luggage I couldn't get the. handle up anymore I still I still had it. for like three months with no hand. couldn't get the handle up I was like. just reaching low and just pulling oh my. God I just I just I don't know I just. like don't have time and I was like I. you know what it is I want to be a a. smart consumer yeah and I didn't have. the time to do the research on the new. luggage and so I just was like I'm gonna. do and then one day I just was like I. can't do this anymore yeah and I.

committed and I got the new hard hard. like a guy like trying to get out of a. marriage I'm G to stay with this baby. just a just a few just so I know that I. really like I found somebody else uh and. now I do the split hard top and you know. what I was afraid for nothing really. it's got four wheels it Glides. effortlessly oh uh it's impermeable to. to liquids oh yeah right and and it's. not really that bad because I was like. oh what if I need something that is like. tall in a split I'm not gonna be able to.

do it because one side Zips so it's not. like you can combine both sides really. but uh luckily I haven't run into that. problem happy to say that happy to. announce it here damn thanks man that's. unbelievable so you are you're a hard. case luggage guy now yeah I'm hard case. luggage guy W the best part of it though. is the effortless. gliding yeah I used to like be like it. was like the Trail of Tears when I was. like you know with the old one yeah not. not to diminish here engine people would. yell that at you. you're like hold on guy this guy yeah.

this guy's just he's a he's a he likes. what he likes you know he he knows that. style of luggage wow that was almost. archaic I feel like though to see. somebody who would still just have the. one thin layer side that you couldn't. put anything in maybe some Pockets but. that was it yeah it was like for you. know tissues the the first in flap was. you couldn't do anything with it really. yeah but you have you seen someone walk. with like a you remember when we were.

little it was just a suitcase with a. handle and if you were lucky there was. these little ball wheels on the bottom. of like a traditional suitcase and then. they had like this little like almost. like a little handle that you could pull. it with but it had no control it was. little bul it had no also uh like it it. wasn't weighted correctly you remember. they were like just big so back in the. day people had to like. literally carry their luggage in both. hands like walk with it I like when I. was little that's the luggage my my.

parents had well that's all and they. call it luggage I mean they call it I. guess that was the original like they. were lugging it around that's got to be. it right that's why they call it that. right it would have to be I think my. mother still carries a bag like that wow. from like her childhood basically this. thing she got she she jacked uh she. could beat yeah she could probably hit. you pretty quickly without you being. really prepared for it unless you grew. up with her um you came to you came to. oh the you had timing down your mom's.

like Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's punch. chat like you can get all the way up to. him and then you were just screwed. because you make one mistake with him. you're done yeah it's one hit you're. done oh yeah remember that yeah. 0073735963 that's the code it was yeah I. have a tattooed in my brain I made a. t-shirt of it my own. t-shirt G dude your mom was like Tyson. did you ever beat him Mike Tyson's on. Nintendo yeah we beat beat him yeah. somebody yeah I remember like um yeah we.

had one neighbor that was like real. liberal and it was like don't beat him. cuz he's black you know and it was like. it's not about that it's like a video. game they missed the point in yeah I'm. like they didn't want to shoot the Ducks. and Duck Hunt yeah they didn't want to. rock the boat yeah you know I'm like. look we paid $44 for this game yeah on. my seventh birthday so we could Rock the. [ __ ] boat dude you know this is one. place I can take a swing at a tough. brother yeah in the safety of my own.

home but yeah when he would come. out what sucks is if you got all the way. up to him I guess they gave you the code. once you got up to him but I used to try. and play it straight through you know I. got to I got to that point where I could. play it straight through it was one of. my games what do you mean play it. straight through like I would start at. glass Joe yeah and go until I beat Tyson. just without like in in one session oh. one sitting really yeah one sitting yeah. yeah I mean it didn't take that long a. couple hours I had all the time of the. world when was 12 oh remember how much.

time you had yeah remember how much time. you had dude people like what are you. doing today you like what are you even. talking about I don't even know what I'm. going to do today I have no idea what's. going to happen today yeah summer. vacation from school felt. like it felt like years yeah so kids. can't imagine imagine this is or anybody. imagine now you're out of school you go. home there's a TV that's it really and. it's playing like Little House in the. prairie MH and then straight.

into uh Wheel of Fortune that's exactly. right or straight into Price's right uh. well little house price right was 11:00. a.m. and then little house was where I. was it was like it was like it was. actually a was Little House prime time. though I think it was or am I thinking a. Highway to Heaven Highway to Heaven okay. okay yeah and we're huge fans here both. of those yeah Michael Landon staying all. the way Michael Landon somebody sent me. a video of his hometown the other day. and the the his childhood home and stuff.

is pretty cool of Michael Landon's yeah. someone sent you a video of Michael. land's childhood home just recently yeah. just sent me like this is where he lived. at this is the bench he used to spend. time on and just like just some like uh. Place pieces from his neighborhood um. what uh where's he from. Connecticut have no clue dude I want to. talk more about this special man Forest. Hills New York. now this sounds nice have you been here.

no uh is that Queens yeah oh yeah yeah. I've been to Queens of. course is that Queens for CS yeah go. back to it let's see Landon was born. Eugene Maurice. orowitz October 31st Halloween no way no. way that's when we hung out yep um for. Stills the neighborhood of Queens New. York is were pgy oh yeah it's beautiful. there dude it looks it looks like you're. in an old old Europe or something it's. all these old like there's a there's an. old section of it um ooh yeah yeah yeah.

yeah it looks like you're in like a like. a cottage like it looks like you're in. the foothills of Switzerland at some. some of the places in Queens wow yeah so. yeah this was some of the footage if. somebody had sent me um and now this is. appropo of nothing they sent you the. Michael lonat people know people know. I'm a fan is that right yeah oh all. right I'm a known um fan of that kind of. programming or him specifically him. specifically I think just like you know. it was just uh he was good wholesome fun.

he was the fatherhood yeah he was he was. kind of that father that television. father um when I started podcasting um. an online store was probably the. furthest thing from my mind you know I. was just concerned with uh with getting. the episodes out but eventually we we we. put a t-shirt online and we started. selling it and and then that evolved and. people wanted more and so next thing you. know we was selling a T-shirt and a a. sweatshirts and a high heel even at one.

point I think and that's where we are. now and it's been so easy all because I. use Shopify Shopify is the global. Commerce platform that helps you sell at. every stage of your business that's been. one thing it's nice whether we were. selling just one item or we evolve to. have a couple of items whatever stage. you're at you can stage up or stage down. with Shopify from the launch your online. shop stage to the first real life store.

stage all the way to the did we just hit. a million orders stage Shopify is there. to help you grow right now you can sign. up for a $1 per month trial period at. shopify.com. tho all lowercase go to shopify.com. now to grow your business no matter what. stage you're in shopify.com the. everybody likes having skin on their.

body covers you holds you keeps. everything together but what I want to. talk to you about is that Second Skin. baby that Tommy John you know what I'm. talking about that lightweight. breathable comfortable doesn't ride up. perfect fit. underwear and. undergarments and garments period the. most comfortable underwear I've ever. worn that's right I can't even travel. without my Tommy John's I can do. everything better in my Tommy.

John's I feel good I feel capable I feel. like just touching the world Tommy Johns. are different from other brands I've. worn just because of the. sleekness because of that hold the. Comfort because it makes me feel like I. just feel better than I even feel and I. want to let you know you can get 30% off. sitewide right now at Tommy john.com EO. and if you don't love your Tommy Johns.

you're covered by their best pair you'll. ever wear or it's free guarantee that's. right so there's nothing to lose by even. trying this comfort you can save 30% off. sitewide right now at tommy.com. EO see site for details great time to. get something for yourself or something. for Father's Day a little bit more about. the special man so yeah like what has. that been like for you like the comedy. Road like did you start to really feel.

like okay this is what kind of comedians. go through cuz you also got into comedy. where people already knew you um did was. that scary like oh they're going to. judge me or did it feel more like. they're going to support me like um yeah. I know what you mean uh yeah well I did. stand up like 20 years ago like out of. college I did it for a little bit and. then I started getting to sketch comedy. and like improv and stuff and then. that's how I really got into comedy cuz. is I started to get a little successful. with the sketch stuff this is like 2000.

you know 99 I started that and then um. and then I got on the show and I was. like well the only thing I really wanted. to do was do standup but it just I. didn't get go down that path and then I. was like you know if I don't do it now I. mean I'm not I have to start doing it. now I have a platform now you know but I. was like uh I was very into this like I. was into this standup World a little bit. because I used to host at a I owned a. bar and I used to host like comedy on. Tuesdays and and this is 2008 9 10 11 12.

and so every comic every New York Comic. played my bar and so I became friends. with everyone like years before I like. started going hard at it in New York and. so everybody was like I was friends with. everybody and also like I just went at. it really really hard like I was you. know I didn't half ass anything I me. like it's what I it's what I do and it's. what I wanted to do but I understand. like it's like it's that thing like okay. people know me from television like they. am I back door in it I'm going to an act. you know like a you know but if you just. like if you're out there every single.

night at every I mean I'm playing bars. with three people in it to to this to. that to the next thing five six spots a. night for year you know so it's like you. know and then it's like you know if. you're if you respect it I mean you know. so luckily everybody was really cool. with me and uh would you feel like. personally that's a little bit what more. what I mean like I think you seem like. an authentic enough Guy where like you. would um be realistic about what you. were really doing you know if you're. just trying to create a fun show that.

was like a like a joker show like you. know or just like bring a lot of that to. Stage or if you were trying to you know. like really rock in a standup and really. go through it you know and I know that. for years you were um performing but. yeah like what was it was there anything. like for you in your own head like do I. need to prove to my like was it some of. that a little bit you think yeah man. that's the motivator you know like CU. because I tour with the guys I've been. touring with the guys for 13 years well. we toured back in 2000 but now since the. show we've been touring for 13 years.

we're on our fifth you know like we do. you United States every market and then. UK every you know this is our fifth one. in 12 years so and you know you know our. our story was like you know we started. really small we started playing. literally when we started like nobody. wanted to really invest in us oh yeah. you know like even our agents they like. were like oh yeah you can do live stuff. you know and we started in like. literally like SE rooms you know like. really like at like hole in the wall. places but it it it got better and then. you know few theater and then and then. we started you know playing big big big.

places and then uh but it is a it's. different it's not it's not standup you. know it's like it's like a multimedia. show it's it's for our fans we tell. stories it's interactive it's like. geared toward the fans yeah and I love. being there I mean so many of my first. fans were fans that were came over from. you guys oh no really oh yeah I mean um. is that just because of you like you I. think from going on the cruise that we. went on and then some of the fans like. um would come to my shows you know you.

guys have uh Joker's had some of the. most loyal fans um by far yeah yeah. that's true that is really true by far I. mean it's like the Bible and then Jokers. I feel like no but they're good like. that if like we vouch for someone it's. like they will attach themselves because. you know they're not really standup fans. you know like they're they they're fans. of the show maybe they're fans of comedy. and everything but they find a lot of. people through US yeah you know so it's. like when we tell them oh this person. like they're like they're so happy to. have someone to seek out and to become a.

fan of yeah they're like more like human. fans kind of human fans like just like. usually just pretty fun loving people. you guys have had some of the best fans. I feel like than yeah I think I think so. too and they're just so like uh they're. so invested and they're so loyal you. know it's been we're only on the air. this long because you know because of. that kind of I don't know that that kind. of dedication they have to us that. loyalty you know what I mean like we. just signed I just uh season 10 just. finished airing and uh we mean we didn't. announce this yet but we signed for.

season 11 and 12 so I'm shooting season. 11 now wow and I can't even believe it. really because it's like 300 episodes. we've doing it since 2011 like I didn't. think that [ __ ] but it's because of them. it's really it it's because of them and. like. they if if someone is in our orbit and. of the shows like they want to like. that's how much they love us they just. want to like they want to kind of. they're cool they're cool to be like a. fan of what we're a fan of you know what. I mean like that kind of thing extension. yeah yeah they want to carry yeah they.

and also they trust. your Acumen. or whatever like yeah whatever whatever. you think is on your shuder board of. humor right they like want to get it. they're like oh yeah like you're on my. fake Jam babe yeah you know what I'm. saying I'm like try some fig Jam right. here you're my fig Jam babe that's. another good shirt we're gonna make a. lot of shirts today let's see how many. pieces of merch we can come up with by. the time this this episode ends right. now we got two yeah yeah we got two we. got gout gout happens in you're my fake. gym yeah all right but I want to Branch.

out it can't just be t-shirts maybe. we'll do some like oh we'll get in sock. like maybe some yes so maybe laptop. laptop covers or something like that. socks yeah maybe like a wind chime oo. you got to get you got to get that's the. secret with merch you have great mer you. got to get you got to throw in something. like people don't normally get like. really I think so yeah that's I I think. I just didn't want to end up having like. all kind like you know I got like um. hats for disabled people or I got like.

Niche children's vest there's not a lot. of disa children's vests yeah you know. you're like what is going on you know. yeah but you should do cinnamon like oh. Theo's got a cinnamon yeah do you have. anything like that no I'm surprised you. don't you don't have like a rub or. something like that you don't dude come. on you're this you're the you're the. southern King man you got to get like. yourself a rub or something like that. I've got a rub. dude you're not allowed to use it near. schools I'll tell you that. brother but I did a peanut butter for.

charity no way Sals the the well the our. podcast we have the so I do hey babe. with Christa Stefano and taste buds with. Jo D Roa and together we're on this no. press Network on it's on YouTube. whatever and so we I had this peanut. butter that I loved Saratoga peanut. butter company was this uh family-owned. like woman-owned business and she used. to be from Staten Island where I'm from. and I found her at a Christmas Market. not even her I just found a stand and I. was loving it Ling it loving it and I. would mention it and like you know a.

support and then they reached out and. like we combined and made like a peanut. butter for charer I did that once oo. Saratoga peanut butter put in like the. no press I bet you it'll come up like. because it was cool on the we're on the. label and stuff it's like fun you know. oh that would be really cool yeah I. never thought about some of that I guess. uh pickles one. time pickles we did I don't know I just. worry I guess about like trying to sell. to me there's something that gets weird. if I feel like I'm trying to sell people.

too many things oh for sure I didn't. sell that that was just the money went. to charity and that was I was just oh I. see what you're saying yeah I didn't. make my own yeah I didn't make my own. yeah of course of course man Q I was on. a so Q my buddy you know Q he made. cucumbers no that would be good he he. owned a beer company he started it he he. bought the rights to and revived a beer. company from Staten Island for like a. hundred years ago that went right and. yeah and he he he was so passionate. about it and he doesn't he doesn't have. anymore but years he had it and to to to.

mess with me on the show he made uh. there was one time on the show where. they renamed me Prince herb okay and I. had to go by Prince Herb in my whole. life for like a a year like late night. TV the news any press going up on stage. please welcome Prince herb they pierced. my ears they made me wear these big. cubic aronia earrings it was very. embarrassing so I was known as Prince. herb and so I mean everything I did like. I would go to Starbucks and get like a. lot they be like Prince herb yeah right.

and he he he made a prince herb brew and. it was was that you in a picture of you. if you pull up Prince herb that's all me. oh yeah that's Prince herb they put. billboard in Time Square that's a. billboard of me with the earrings no way. yeah that that's the that's the New. Year's Eve billbo that's the huge one. that's in Times Square yeah that's the. size of the building gout in your cheeks. dude that is. H dude it's it it was like 60 what are.

you looking at the T-shirt the prce her. for 2024 no so if you put in Prince that. that's oh that's another thing I'll get. to that that's me that's oh that's. that's that's me that's the worst. picture I ever took 2003 I the fleu and. I was 60 lounds overweight and I gave. them the picture to put on Jokers cuz we. like help each other out you know like. they want to do something like here take. this bad picture of me go ahead yeah and. they kept using it for like six seven. seasons right and then I was like this. joke is getting old. and then just when I thought it was. getting old it became a meme dude uhuh.

like the crying Michael Jordan face not. that like it's that big but I'm saying. like that like people started using it I. don't even understand why dude it got so. big that college campuses across the. country I go do college shows now. everybody in the audience has that face. on a shirt or they put it on they put it. on quilts and they put it on like these. blankets and they hang them in the dorms. wow dude at the graduation I'm on my Fat. Head's on the cap like and everything. that it's it's and I never sold made a. dollar from that someone made so many.

millions of dollars I mean dude I can't. tell you the amount of merch that that. thing is on who is that that's me dude. that's me I look like Andre the Giant. bro yeah it's just a bad angle on a bad. day I was in Santa Monica I was at lunch. with Q he took the picture and I was at. a I mean that one's blown up like. someone widened it but it wasn't good I. understand the one with the glowing orbs. come out of. has been edited I don't know what I ask.

the kids when I go to the colleges like. they hold them up on the blankets like. they get this they spend real money oh. yeah they get it blown up and I'm like. what what is this and they just like. quiltery is very costly yeah yeah I. don't know I don't know much about it. yeah but I didn't think college kids. could do quiltery can afford quiltery oh. look at this oh my God S I didn't know. you had had all this happen to you yeah. and so but what it first happened I. didn't know what it looks like the guy. died kind of yeah I think that's part of. it every when they look at that guy. they're like oh yeah I remember himed to.

gamble I look like the whale I never see. didn't see the movie but I look like I. locked myself in my house and I had you. know I didn't come out for a while you. look like the whale if he wrapped I feel. like like that's the element that's also. there's a very Brooklyn or very like uh. there's a Run DMC like kind of a little. bit with this in the I don't see Run DMC. in just my big Peach fat bold Circle. head but I if you say it I'll take it. because anything to make me feel better. about this photo okay there is a hasn't. run in a wild DMC has not run yeah yeah.

yeah there's a has not thanks for the. thank you for the in a while I. appreciate. that um but I know it's one of those. pictures you see if you notice you go to. and I hate to say this out loud but a Fu. n e r a l and one of the pictures that's. on there you want to say funeral because. people pronounce it differently and it. means something bad well if you say. funeral oh yeah it help soften the blow. that's a good call yeah say we're at a. crazy funeral somebody hands you a. pamplet yeah and you see a fixure on it.

sure it looks like that guy a lot of. times like damn rip yeah just say a fra. just say a frare for me rip Ricky too. soon like a lot of that kind of stuff. yeah that's what it looks like it. definitely looks like that but when it I. didn't know what they meant someone text. me and like I got to tell you something. you sitting down that's what they said. me I said what's up they go you become a. meme and I was like what is that what do. you mean I become a meme you know I know. what a meme is but what do you mean I. become a meme and like your the picture. of you that you hate that was on like a.

cuz I was like this is not funny anymore. you did it till it's not funny it's like. they used it for like seven season and. then it happened and then dude for like. one year if I posted something if I and. my DMs were I couldn't get to regular. messages I couldn't see if you DM me I. couldn't see it if I put something. online 800 of that face right underneath. in the comments and it was like I I. thought it was funny at first but then. it was. like it's just it's not funny I I got to. talk to I got to I have to communicate I. got to use the internet yeah every time.

I post I can't just get that head in you. know it's like so I don't even know. where we're going oh but anyway the. prince herb it was a non-alcoholic hot. pink beer and it said a corny a corny. beer for a corny mofo if you put Prince. her Brew you'll see the can now this is. a funny story uh you'll see the can with. me on it it's a hot pink it's a hot pink. can uh like Prince her there it is on. the left there oh wow that's a real. future looking can of beer that's that's.

cute plug in it right there yeah and it. said like a corny BR or corny mofo now. here's the thing this is the funniest. thing ever it was unintentional but he. shipped so many of those things right it. was hot pink and it was non-alcoholic. and he shipped so many of them and what. we did he wanted to get it done in time. for that punishment where they pierced. my ears put on the so it was all part of. the same punishment so I didn't know he. was doing this so after they they. brought me out to Time Square they told. me I was going to become Prince herb and. I and I didn't know what they meant and. then they said turn around and I saw on.

the billboard and then they took me. inside pierc my ears for the whole. season I had to wear these big cubic. zconia earrings oh I didn't see this. yeah and then uh and then that came up. and they told me about that in the. moment so in the I guess in the haste in. the haste to produce the beer and make a. recipe of a hot pink non-alcoholic IPA. uhuh something was wrong in the in the. measurements of the recipe and he. shipped out like I want to say like I I. don't know hundreds and hundreds of. cases. hundreds cases and uh he got word back.

that they were exploding yeah and what. happened was if they were not. refrigerated and only they had to stay. cold and that's it once they were cold. they had to stay cold and if they if you. didn't if you took them out of the. refrigerat they exploded bro and I don't. mean like they leaked they. exploded which is actually in you know a. full circle It's the funniest thing I've. ever heard of in my life because it's. like he didn't intend that but people. started reaching out being like y it's. exploding all over my house my my fridge.

everything cuz you could also leave it. out put in the fridge and explode in the. fridge but these things were popping. like grenades my cat's wet my kids yeah. dude so and and so they were expanding. and so that you see the metal in the. bottle just like Po start to expand. until the things pop like grenades and. it happened to everybody and he had to. give all the money you know back or. whatever I think it was the there was. the charity involved too and then I got. I got a case of my own as it just like. here you have and I didn't know and I.

put him in the fridge right away and. then so then I had like two cases I had. 48 of those in my fridge and when I. realized that they were going to start. exploding I was like I can't I need room. in the fridge it's my main fridge yeah. and so my lady's like we got to get. these out of here and I was like but I. don't know how to get them out because. they're going to start exploding yeah. and so we took out I left two in there. now right now there's only one in my. fridge and it's it's it's expanded cuz. but I put back in time so it it's it's. like the top is like it's almost like a.

point and it's ready to explode if it. loses like 5° but it's in the it's in. like the the crisper oh yeah but we took. yeah it's a safe drawer yeah it's. supposed to keep you know so but we took. every one of them out and I put them in. the sink in my in my I put him in the. sink in my kitchen and I just put a. blanket over it dude it was like it was. like Saro in there dude after like 30. after like 20 30 minutes it was. like and dude it was I mean and then.

part of don't call it a Comack dude it. was explod it was hot pink sticky beer. all over my kitchen I mean and it was. scary actually it was scary nonalcoholic. it's non-alcoholic but I would try to. like pop them open to preempt the blast. and so I would go and I would like but. then you'd pop them open and they would. just still explode yeah I got to send. you a picture of the one in my fridge. it's like it's just two degrees away I. know it's going to happen but like I.

just I'm keeping it for like the like. the what do you call it just like like a. gender. reveal no like like just a Keepsake. that's what it should that be really. funny you know what it sound like this. would have been great for is gend gay. gender like gender reveals if your. cousin was gay or your brother's gay. like hey Mom and Dad we got an. announcement to make out an out like a. yeah like a coming an out coming out or. yeah like a coming out reveal which I. guess is aund sexual reveal yeah or or. preferences reveal or something yeah.

yeah uh you like Mom and Dad we got to. we got we want you to know something you. just set one in front of them and. everybody's waiting a couple minutes and. it's just [ __ ] it's like a trojan. horse just really and but they hear. Danny's gay and they're like no [ __ ] we. [ __ ] we knew he was gay and now you. [ __ ] ruin your mom's new. wallpaper that's the problem dude but. it's just so funny to think that they. were exploding all across American. people's homes unintentionally oh yeah.

but beautiful there's something so. special about that type of thing sitting. in your chair at home right you're. relaxing you're que right you've made a. lot of beer you you got Prince her Brew. just just hit the you know it's on the. ships heading out to different homes and. then you know it's starting to blow up. and you're like all right it's things. are going poorly but you hear like like. the email. [ __ ] nobody you've got.

malpractice for real though for real. lucky nobody got hurt oh F CU I'm. telling you dude I'm telling you the. sound was like you would go yo just that. was one can I had four I had uh 48 cans. yeah thank you baby angel that is so. heavy yeah it is heavy when that kind of. stuff is going on. when um there's a dangerous product that. hits the scene I think is very scary um. Kid Rock I know made a beer yeah and the.

first batch of it was good it was like. badass beer or something it was called. yeah and the second it was called not. Bud. Light it was called straight. beer even though the craziest part is he. drinks Bud Light every day now you get. over things you know it's like a pad. breakup yeah it really time will heal. his but light wounds that's a good point. quickly but badass that was his beer. badass beer American logger and the.

second batch of it like they just made. it bad like whoever made it it was a bad. beer like they messed up the recipe or. something oh so it didn't taste good. tasted horrible tasted badass tast just. ass they had to just get like a Sharpie. and like blackout bed and they could. sell it for what it then it wouldn't be. like false advertising people like what. do you drink it you're like ass man yeah. somebody disgusting some put ass in a. cat. [Laughter]. which is so ironic because he didn't.

want to do Bud Light but then people are. like yo I'm eatting. ass I messed with ass yeah you're like. hold on put that in my mouth can of. horrible. ass but you can't support a bever to. some guy who maybe prefers a little ass. every. now like what kind of world are we. living in. but the simple fact that he had his. second run of the beer he was all fired.

up and then it just was fing the recipe. was bad like I'm sorry to hear that. because he he's a guy who could catch. who needs a break oh. yeah you ever go to his like compound or. whatever oh yeah it's nutty right I know. you kind of know him probably right yeah. it's crazy yeah it's pretty interesting. he um where was I with them I went to. one of his shows he played in my. sister's town a couple of weeks ago in. Louisiana okay and so I got to fly over. with him he has his own plane so I got. to go on a on like a private plane we. flew over there and flew back late at. night is he a nice dude cool dude he's a.

really sweet guy it's it's not constant. badass right oh no well he's also he's. also just is he normal uh's he's a. unique individual he's a really unique. individual but is everything badass like. if if he eats a peanut butter and jelly. sandwich is it like in a badass way like. what is he like how when does that go. away like you ever with him and did did. you ever see him weep oh never weep I. don't think yeah maybe. no he like he loves like um Kid Rock is.

an interesting dude man he's like he's. the kind of guy if you'll go you go do. something with him he'll send you a card. or a nice picture of like something you. did together sweet oh that's so sweet um. something you're like that sometimes. maybe I am huh you are like that you you. you are like that uh I remember when you. when you when you did the cruise. actually you sent me a gift after oh I. did it was the sweetest thing no one's. ever done that thanks thanks dude it was. so nice sometimes I think I got so busy.

that I just didn't even know who I am. sometimes but um but then Bob also would. be the uh but then Kid Rock also be the. kind of guy where if you're in a car. like one night we were in a car we were. leaving oh you call him Bob I to ask you. like what you call his real name is Bob. yeah I know that but I know if you call. him oh yeah so I call him Bob right or. some it just depends kind of but you you. ever call him kid I call him [ __ ]. [ __ ] half the time okay okay and we. can beep that up but people know what it. is you know yeah yeah yeah um but oh he.

he's the only guy I've ever been with in. a car and everybody just chatting and. having a good time that's wild bro the. only guy you ever m in the car kid Rong. yeah it just was a [ __ ] craziest Uber. it's like uber black and then Uber. [ __ ] dirt Lord you know and he comes. and get you uh but he was in the car one. time he's like hey can we turn down the. radio so we can talk about me that's. what he said he. said so he has this other element of.

like um like a Kanye West thing yeah. it's kind of like a yeah it's just a. cocky thing right so and he he he'll be. like both of those things he's Ching CH. about it cocky but he's you can't tell a. little bit sometimes oh all right all. right you can't tell a little bit. interesting um but a nice guy like if I. call I think if I needed something he. would be willing to help out you know. like what level of needing something. like if I. needed like to borrow 20 grand or.

something really oh that's that's that's. pretty good yeah but he's also the kind. of guy like if I called him I needed. something he would you know I think he. he's helpful he likes to off like he. help you think about stuff he's been. through a lot you know yeah um have you. gotten to see his like White House. replica has he shown you that have you. been over there to his White House no. it's like the capital of the South I. think I was for some reason or another. maybe there was an event going on at his. compound or something and there was an. opportunity for me to go I've never met.

the guy but I didn't end up going but I. thought Tyler Perry had the White House. replica oh maybe he does yeah what does. Bob have that's what Bob has go down one. picture wait is that a replica like that. you can walk into or a replica like a. snow globe replica that's a replica you. can walk into the picture to the right. is his home um wait the White House is. his home yeah wait he lives in a he. lives in a replica of the White House if. that's the White House I can't I don't. know what the white house looks like but. but that's looks like that I think oh. then that's that but wait but Tyler.

Perry has a I think he has a whatever is. he has like a compound that's like oh. yeah a state at huge a huge Statewide. like it's like it's like 3008 whatever. it is and he built a I think a 34. identical scale of the White House every. room like whatever so that they he and. then he lets movie productions filmed. there as the White House wow did you not. hear about that I didn't know that is. that not a wild Endeavor to have. somebody rebuild the White House at. three4 scale to that meticulously well.

it's like people are like hey does media. like what really runs America and if you. don't think it's media the fact that. somebody rebuil a white house somewhere. else right and is using it to shoot wild. it's media and it's Duncan yeah oh yeah. it's definitely Duncan dude hey fellas. I'm going to need you to Blink if you. haven't purchased a Father's Day gift. yet yep we thought so today's episode is. brought to you by. manscaped the leaders in below the waist.

grooming maybe your pops has had a brush. since the 70s and that's okay but our. friends at manscaped have crafted the. total package for his special day. whether it's for the boys downstairs his. beard or even the best pair of underwear. out there manscaped has his bases. covered head over to manscape.com and. get 20% off and free shipping with code. Theo you know that beard Tremor that.

your dad's been using since you were in. grade school yeah it probably needs. upgrading introducing the beard hedger. Pro kit the complete beard maintenance. kit for all the bearded Kings this. Father's Day is also the perfect time. for your old man to stop stealing his. wife's nail clippers and finally have a. kid of his own that will last him a. lifetime get 20% off and free shipping. with code Theo at manscape. that's 20% off with free shipping at. manscaped.com and use code Theo never.

forget where you came from if you know. what I mean Happy Father's Day from. manscaped you know there's an old Abe. Lincoln quote that says good things come. to those who wait that's true that's. actually only part of the quote um the. full quote is good things come to those. who wait but only the things left by. those who Hustle. that's right well if you're a business. owner and want the best people on your.

team the same applies thankfully zip. recruiter puts the hustle in your hiring. so you can find qualified candidates. fast and now you can try it for free at. zip recruiter.com. tho that's right zip recruiter has a. smart technology that finds top talent. for your roles or your positions right. away immediately after you post your job. on zi recruiter their matching.

technology starts showing you qualified. people for it so if you need someone and. you know what you want them to be able. to do you post that and zip recruiter. does the rest let zip recruiter give you. the hiring hustle you need see why four. out of five employers who post on zip. recruiter get a quality candidate within. the first day just go to. ziprecruiter.com. H EO to try it for free again that's zip. recruiter.com.

Theo zip recruiter the smartest way to. hire so a sweet thing that uh that my. girl always talks about is um one time. we hung out in uh in the city whatever. and then like a couple weeks later. whatever like you left me a message that. I played for her that she just she. didn't forget and this is a long time. ago but you were like hey you know hey. you guys I just I want to give you call. see how you doing like I just uh you. were in my heart today is what you said. I'll never forget that line you said you.

guys were in my heart today and I just I. just figured I'd give you a call to to. see how you doing oh nice I played that. for heart she she's she already loved. you but she was like she never forgot. that it just such a such a gentle sweet. thing to to call to see how it doing. just in a general sense but then to say. it like that I was. like that's that's uh I love you buddy. you're such a big heart yeah thanks. dudee yeah I think I just have a tough. time remembering sometimes that I'm a. decent guy is that true yeah why I think. I just have a tough time I don't know.

why I think I have a forgetter I just. have this like I have this forgetter. inside of me you can stray from like. what you know yourself to be like you. just kind of have es and flows about how. you feel about yourself no just like a. rem it's like um I almost feel like uh. like I'll. forget that um people know that I care. about him right I feel like it's this. constant thing you have to remind people. about or they don't know it it's like I.

didn't understand that if you care about. somebody then they will just know that. you care about them and that sometimes. it's okay to like kind of show it or. express it but they it doesn't have to. be something that you have to like. remind people of all the time yeah and I. don't know what that was I think it's. gotten a little bit better as I've. gotten older but I think yeah I think. for a while I just didn't know like I. would you felt the need to be expressive. like you actually it would be on your.

mind to make sure you would have to. express it right because then you. thought that they wouldn't know people. would like wouldn't feel it from you or. something yeah yeah like as if your. feelings weren't real to people all. right or something like if I seem like I. had a nice time I don't know if they. knew it or not okay and so I need to. make sure that they knew that had a nice. time or if I was thinking about somebody. um I needed to I guess let them know. maybe or like that if a Time meant.

something to me I don't know and some of. that's kind of normal but I think I had. this uh I don't know I I can't explain. it exactly you know I I'm I am that way. but I'm that way like not because I need. people to know but because I. just not need or want them well I want. them to know you know like but not that. they not because I think that they don't. know if I don't tell them but that's the. way I grew up my family and just how I. am like I uh I never want to miss a. chance to tell someone uh you know. anything that I that that I'm thinking.

about them that I admire them that I. love them that like you know any any. little thing I I I'm just I I don't hold. anything back like that wow it's the. best helps me too because I like I it. makes me feel good to tell somebody that. that I love them or that I care for them. or I'm thinking of them or or I admire. them or they you know any anything nice. you know like I when I greet people and. when I say goodbye it's just like or or. anything like I just I don't know that's. that's just the way I am I don't think I. I I I don't think I be another way.

really you know yeah you couldn't be you. are trapped being a nice guy but that's. what I'm saying like I feel that from. you yeah I think I just get like I just. like am self- tormented a lot of times. but um but yeah know you always seem. like. the yeah you seem like just like a. little campfire that's allowed to be. inside of people's homes you know that's. that's that's a did you is that the. first time you ever said that yeah. really you just conjured that that that. metaphor up that didn't well I'm. thinking I know you're good with words. man I know that you are the person that.

you you're the person I know the most. that will say a phrase that I've never. heard before I mean off the top of your. head man you're I mean you're one of my. genius friends dude you you have a way. with words but that that's that's such a. good that that that's like that's a. that's merch you're a campfire that's a. lot indoors yeah well no that now you. switch it you're not you're a campfire. that's allowed indoors seems like a rule. I think it's like you're a campfire in. people's homes was the sentiment yeah. it's two different things you know well. I have to go back and see exactly what. we said.

but you're a warm you're a warm soul man. you need those you are that's that's a. great that's what you are yeah yeah I. appreciate that dude when I was a kid I. didn't I remember like my kid I used to. write postcards all the time to my kids. that weren't born yet like cuz I wanted. them to know that I was thinking about. them like it that's kind of crazy that's. unreal man yeah I think when I was a kid. I didn't know if my parents were. thinking about me or whatever and so I. always grew up with this like. uncertainty about it I think and so I.

don't even remember this my roommate. from when I was like 20 was like yeah. dude you got these postcards you used to. send them to. yourself um really send them to your. kids you'd put like unborn kids or. something on it you put postage yeah oh. I'd I'd put them in the mail they'd be. from like other places I was doing. comedy at or something really and he. goes and you would just say like hey. kids I haven't I didn't meet your mother. in this city or whatever like just. saying what's up I've wrote I've written. I did that one time for you know I I did.

that once and wrote something to your. future children yes I did yes one time. but like yeah I did that um that's that. did you really do that yeah I swear to. God oh that's that's awesome man that's. awesome it was crazy also like cuz I. remember my roommate would be like uh do. you have them uh I think I probably had. cuz aren't you he sent me like nine or. 10 of them cuz then when you have a kid. I'll give them to him yeah but it was it. was it like like he was like jokey like. I I don't know if I'm going to meet your. mother here or was it like hey one day. when I am a dad or when I am your I hope.

to do like was it was it like what was. the angle I think sometimes I'd put in a. little joke you know but it was just. like hey unborn K unborn um. children um but it was for you would. being silly no I was being serious okay. okay yeah I didn't realiz at the time. like now I'm a I I have a better. understanding of like how um the. exchange of um. em like uh emotions I guess a little bit.

more then yeah at the time I just didn't. know I think I I think it went from when. I was a kid I didn't know if my parents. were thinking of me or whatever and so I. was like I want to make sure my kids. know I'm thinking of them dude that's. heavy but then IID be like yeah. sometimes it would be fun I'd put. something funny on there like I didn't. meet your mother or I hope I didn't meet. your mother in this. town yeah you got throw a little it's. got heart and humor in it oh yeah. sometimes yeah we put some funny stuff. in there yeah you just reminded me of. this uh when I was younger like one of. my first girlfriends that I like was. serious with as a kid like my first love.

kind of thing that kind of thing oh yeah. um it end so I thought like I was going. to marry her like it was like you know. we dated for years as kids you know like. 15 16 to like 20 21 something like that. no way yeah yeah yeah and so I really. thought I was going to marry like our. families were close and uh I I we we. said we were going to and I wanted to. and stuff it didn't end well but but uh. but so I did this thing I I I wrote her. a letter um when I the first time I knew.

that I I I was like in love with her you. know it was like not that far into our. relationship let's say a year not maybe. a year or whatever and we ended up. dating like five six years something and. I wrote her a letter uh to to to propose. to her to tell her I wanted to marry her. and like how I felt about her and to be. like I feel this way now and I know one. day this is going to happen but I just. want to let you know that I've been. feeling it from right now and then I. mailed it to myself and I was postmarked. and it was sealed wow and so I was like. when I propose to her one day oh I'm. going to show her that I'm going to give.

her the letter and let her open it and. it's kind of the postmark date on it. from all the way back then oh that's. romantic romtic I don't know why or how. I thought of that but I did and I did it. and uh I didn't in propos I did the. letter and everything and I'm like you. know five years later we broke up or. whatever and you know I would call it it. was on her uh let's just you know. whenever I was probably on it no it was. on her like it was you whatever whatever. we broke God bless you know but I you. know we're kids but uh but I I remember. too because it was like uh oh my god.

dude it was the worst timing it was like. a little bit after like um Christmas I. think or her birthday and I had gotten. now dude this. is this is oh God what time when this. was the 90s it was like the would you. get a jet ski or something it. was no that would be great a jet ski I. was like no I was like 20 no it was like. uh it was like like the 0 it must have. been like 96 97 maybe something. something like that right oh yeah rent.

rent was the huge Broadway musical it. was like the it was you know rent. remember rent and you were dating a. woman no how do you even know who the. Bradway musical was oh you're from New. York I forget about yeah I've been going. to plays and music no but that's that's. a thing like right oh yeah yeah rent yes. they have everything from like the lion. got the golden ticket that's exactly the. right one and uh you know like now like. how it's like that who it's the hot. ticket of the president oh uh Hamilton. yeah yeah it was like that yeah right.

then and I spent $300 and she wanted to. see this thing and I spent three back. then do you know I was 19 20 whatever. $300 if you were just for inflation now. it's like it's one tenth of your salary. yeah was like 20 $330,000 oh. yeah maybe more and I got these things. and I I surprised her with them and. it was that. night and I called her on the phone and.

I said to her I got these tickets the. rent tickets you know whatever like I. got these like it's something she wanted. to see for so long it felt like it was. like unattainable because it was so. expensive oh yeah wow and I got I. remember I was like I told her I was. going to surprise her with something and. so I got ready I like had on a button-. down shirt like I got like all nice cuz. I was going to pick her up and drive. there and go see rent and so I got ready. and I called her and I told I was going. to pick and I told her I was like you. know we're going to I got the kissy rent.

and this wasn't the only time this. happened because it was like Rocky. toward the end like broke up got back. broke up come but but she broke up with. me on the phone no the de the like a few. hours before. rent and I was like I was I mean I was. devastated dude right this is worse than. the gout dude and um this was like the. gout in my body a whole body like a gout. gout heart I had gout Heart merch that's. there there's a that's a subsection of.

the gout merch there's going to be a. gout. tab if you have gout in your heart I had. you are dead dude my heart needed. crutches right and I I'm balling crying. I'm balling crying and what burrow are. you in I was in Staten Island oh thank. God okay and then. God so so rent is now at 8 o00 it's like. it's like. 3:30 and I was like I I spent my life.

savings on these tickets yeah so dude I. got in my old beat up car all dressed up. and I drove to the theater crying oh I. paid to. park s and I was like I was laughing. about something else no no no no please. you know I know you would never laugh at. this and um dude I but you know when you. when you cry so hard that you look like. you got punched in the face dude like. like out like my eyes were like like I. looked like the photo of me that became. a meme like I wasn't that heavy but my. face just blew up like I was when you.

cry so hard that it looks like you got. straight up punched in the eyes that's. how I got out of the car and and my goal. was not to see rent I couldn't do it. I've never seen it I I was too I'll tell. you and I never saw sleepest in Seattle. because she she ended up she ended up. going on a date with a guy who took her. to Sea Sleepless in Seattle and it broke. my heart and so I never saw it to this. day I mean Efron classic Tom actually. you think I would see it yeah I still to. this day now I I would see it now.

doesn't bother me but I just I kind of. like think it's fun that I haven't yes. but I and then I I was like how do I so. then I was like I got to scalp these cuz. I I I couldn't eat the tickets and I. wasn't going to go sitting there next to. a blank next to an empty seat and cry. through rent so I'm standing outside I'm. like 19 years old my face is puffed out. yeah I still have I'm crying there I'm. crying trying to scalp I had two rent. tickets in my hand I I I I was in a. black button- down shirt I was crying. and people were going into to rent and I. was like excuse me and let me tell you.

something those scalpers I give them. respect cuz people don't even want to. they don't give you the time of day wow. you know I was a young kid I was dressed. respectfully I'm right in front I got. two tickets in hand I'm not going to. kill you I'm not going to run they it. was like cryp tonight is that something. sick person C they were all Superman. yeah and I'm crying and which also. probably in hindsight looked really. weird like here's a young boy crying. yeah you know right. and just saying I'll give them to you. for 280 instead of 300 like I don't even.

know if that was a deal or. not dude it was so sad and then um what. I ended up doing was after it was like. everyone rejected me and it was like. almost start going to begin oh yeah and. I was like now I'm like I I I didn't. know what to do if I lost that kind of. money you know like I was like it would. have been so sad so I went to the box. office and I pleaded with them and I. just said my girl I said everything I. was talking to the box office lady she. was like 80 I was like telling her my. life story I'm like she broke up over. the phone I was like I I've been I'm I'm. keeping this a sacret you.

know and she goes all right here's what. I'll do I'm not supposed to do this. she's like but the next people that walk. up to buy tickets cuz it was sold out. she's like I'll refer them to you. whatever and these two women walked up. and she referred him to me and I don't. know I don't remember exactly what I got. for him it wasn't full. price but I I was able to unload those. and um did you feel any better after you. sold them no no not at all I didn't see. rent I took a hit on the money and uh. and she was still gone and where'd you.

park uh let me tell you something I. parked you know in that area there's a. lot of parking garages nearby so I. wasn't too far but they get you they get. you that's what I was saying my God they. get you you go to a Broadway show you're. it's like maybe a four hours total it's. like $80 nowadays that's rent that's. rent yeah they charge you rent yeah they. do it's insane so anyway so after she. broke up with me I told. her about the letter about the letter oh. yeah I would do that kind of stuff right.

what just show how romantic I am it. wasn't spiteful or anything I was like. but you don't understand like from 5. years ago I I thought you know like I. can't believe this and I guess she was. she was I guess she I don't remember her. exact re I think she was moved by. it she must have been moved by it I I. have I have to really think on it cuz I. know I told her but I just got to I I. can't call the moment it's been so long. since I spoke about this oh yeah but. check this out.

about I call. it. three two three years. later I was in the workforce now I was. out of college so was she I me and I was. uh I used to work at credential. Securities and I was at a desk right I. had like a at a college you know and uh. I got an email from her and uh she said. can you give me a call or whatever her. office so I called her and she goes Hey. listen I just want you to. know um there was this there was this.

site called I think was called daily. candy I guess it was like a daily blog. or whatever I don't know what it was. about she said and uh they were uh doing. a. contest um where uh submit submit the. most if you got if you're married submit. your engagement story and the most. romantic would. win and she goes and so I I. submitted what you did for oh she didn't. send my letter in but she told the whole.

story but as we as if we got married. because it you had to be the married. person so you know so she said I I said. that I married and this is what you know. what my how my husband proposed and she. won the. contest and they gave her a $5,000. shopping. spree and she called me up and said do. you want to split it do you want like to. to do some of the shopping spree with me. and I was like no I don't want to I.

don't want to do half the shopping spree. I was like like I don't think I was I. wasn't like I was still like mad but I. was still hurt you know and I was like. you know what it was I was more like. that's [ __ ] up actually yeah like you. you didn't experience this you we didn't. experience it like I was I thought we. were going to we didn't we didn't and. now you're profiting off of it lie dude. I was like you just lie like if you I. mean how like wouldn't you not want to.

do that because like you you you you. broke up with me like so why use that. story and and she won wouldn't you know. cuz of a year work yeah and I was like. no you take it you know and but in my in. my in my head I was like I think it's. kind of messed up that you submitted. that at least from you know for me to. hear it hurts hurts hurts a little bit. but that's a letter I wrote to the. Future. you know you know I know you're romantic. you're romantic s i was a very um.

salvator how can you not be romantic. with that. name God it's romtic is y'all's family. full Italian half yeah me and my dad is. Italian my mom is Puerto Rican and Cuban. oh wow yeah I don't know if you want to. add this in there but it looks like you. spent about the equivalent of. $720 in 2024 yeah maybe just pull that. chart. up he justed. let's adjust the value of uh of the rent. tickets and your love at the time 1990.

when was it 90 it was 90 I I want I'm. going to call it 96 okay $300 and then. now $600 yep it's not jump change man. and how much would $5,000 I guess double. right be 10,000 yeah right the shopping. spree she won m i mean that's that's. basically going to keep the same right. yeah even it was two or three years. later yeah pretty close so we're double. we're basically 28 years later we are. double wow in we doubled up I remember.

like uh I broke up with my girlfriend. and then I tried to learn like she was. like learning French or something so I. tried to learn French in like three. weeks or whatever and like you how' you. do that Rosetta Stone or like a uh I got. a book or something it was like uh. French Merl's French or. something and so I start learning and my. parents like what are you doing like you. just learning individual words that that. that's not teaching you syntax or. anything is it it's not teaching you. like gram like grammar look homie I was.

crying in my backyard smoking Newport. okay I. wasn't just. like we we like just like I couldn't. think of another French word but like. you're like beet you end up going to her. and be like I learned French like be. Napoleon like but definitely I like B. like how old were you I [ __ ] 20 E4 I. love that I love the idea like this will. get her back oh that's what I thought I. just dropped some Pepe law on that.

that's what I thought I made up like. this story about us going like sailing. or something I made this like little. sailboat like dude it was the whole. thing wasit how old are you H uh. 10 a story about you guys sailing who. knows dude I don't remember what. happened dude there was a lot of. different things going on in the area at. the time but. I do remember oh this is so gay uh g y I.

don't want to say it but because. actually gay dudes don't even do that. kind of [ __ ] this is like kind of. Shakespearean. sadness but then I remember dude I hitch. ti so I went to a sailing thing in buuy. Mississippi right and my ex-girlfriend. moved up to Charleston South Carolina. and when I'm there there's some guys. that were there who were from the. sailing team of College of. Charleston so I told my friend who I.

went there with I was like I these guys. said they'll give me a ride to. Charleston I'm GNA roll with them right. and she's like what and I was like yeah. she's like we're in buuy she's like it's. like a 10hour drive I was like I know. but I gotta wait so you hitched a ride. to buxy I hitched a ridea Charleston. Sailors I hitched a ride to Charleston. from buuy oh okay so so in so in buuy I. meet some people uh that are sailing. from Charleston I hit a ride back to.

Charleston with these guys that I met. you're like the mom and home alone like. driving with candy and the poker. there you're like I got to get. there I got to see my son bro I end up. we pull up there like 1:00 a.m. probably. in Charleston I end up I knew where my. ex-girlfriend this is I think a crime. but uh I knew where she lived I go to. her place I'm on the porch of her home. petting somebody's cat out there and. thank God a flood light came on and kind.

of like knocked me into my senses I. wasn't going to go inside anything I was. just like seeing where she lived which. sounds oh she doesn't know you were. there I don't know if she know oh you. didn't you didn't announce yourself it. was 1 a.m. but wait wait but wait then. you did you made a u-turn sh you saw the. next day I went back to those guys place. and crashed on their couch for a couple. days and then she and I finally met up. like a week later she did not want to. see me okay but your intention was to. see her and you saw her I saw her a week.

later so you posted at the I was a SC I. guess I was just you posted up in. Charleston for like I ended up staying. there for like six months so then we. kind of fell out of each other and then. I had yeah then you just Liv in dra I. had a great time loved it. there did you really though yeah you I. think I stayed there for a year are you. like a nomad you R from place to place. in search of food and water I could have. at the time and then once p casting. started I had to be in a place that it. had to be more substantial but this but.

you know but before my my math is off. once's podcasting oh but you you pre. podcast you felt like you could you. could wherever you set your bags down. yeah I was a little I could never do. that really no I'm the opposite man I. wish I could I wish I could I go on. vacation yeah that's about it I can't I. can't I can't uh I don't know man I'm so. rooted and it's something I'm working on. in therapy I I I I I I have attachments. I have a you know I I don't know I don't. like like change and I I I have.

attachments and stuff and I just can't. pick up and leave like that I can't. relocate I feel like anchored to where. I'm. from uh I don't know if it's a good. thing you know but I don't know if it's. a bad thing though yeah yeah you know to. know yeah it's like CU you have so much. joy and love there you can go to another. place. and I don't know and also at the time I. was younger it was easier to do that. kind of stuff yeah yeah that's true for. sure do you remember your your first. girlfriend like a kid like no I guess. not a kid oh yeah but yeah my first real. girlfriend wasn't that till that till 15.

but I remember like being a little kid I. remember I used to live in this like. these Garden Apartments right and so. like uh I mean from like from like. grammar school that kind of age like so. I was little like from like zero to you. know whatever like 10 and it was in its. own complex so all the kids from all the. buildings we all grew up together and we. we were there young enough so that we. were allowed to be cuz all the buildings. like surrounded like a courtyard parking. lot pool like in the middle and so like.

our parents were like you can hang out. anywhere in in the in the property you. can't go out of the property which was. kind of cool because we had more um. autonomy than we should have at that age. cuz you were kind of caged in right but. but then you know yeah so it's kind of. cool but yeah but we all grew up. together there and um it must have been. I'll call it. like like fifth grade Maybe yeah and uh. it was summer yeah and we had a pool a. pool area there for the resid right and.

I remember like it was just one of those. Summers where we were talking about. before how so like when you were kid. time went so slow which I want to touch. on that because I have a theory about. that because if you did if you took away. your phone and your internet and your. car you know what I'm saying and and and. and you didn't have a job and then you. just had to find time in the day like. you basically reduce yourself to the. options you had then. I think that we could slow time in a way. you know what I mean time is it only. gets faster and faster it's burning for.

me right now but like you know get up at. 8 go outside come back in at 6 yeah you. know and then see how long the days feel. and I've been having such a hard time. with how fast I think life is going. right now especially because I HD an age. where like I'm for the first time I see. my I'm I look older it's the first time. I register with me you don't you feel it. until you feel it and then it's too late. yeah and my my parents you know I see. them you know and so like for me right. now I'm going through that like really. like I'm having that like existential. thing going on and so I've been given.

this thought and I was like why did time. feel so slow back then you know and I. you know I thought I was I I like. daydreaming but I'm like I'm literally. like I want to just do a thing where I. like just go stop working you know and. then just like don't don't don't use the. internet and I just want to like get up. and go out and just spend my days like I. was if I was a kid like try that for. like a month and just see if it feels. like everything just slows down and what. that does to my psyche and my my.

day-to-day and you know I really want to. like but anyway that's I mean I really. do feel like it was like I remember just. being like you came back at six o'clock. it felt like you went on a pilgrimage. and that was daily you know what I mean. and you really you really are much more. in touch with yourself you know and. you're you're really spending these this. quality time with these kids all day. long and it's just like I don't know man. it just was like oh things had more. value you then for sure because you did. them you experienced them now we consume.

so many experiences and just have less. of them I think and to the point um that. everything's on to I mean it's just buzz. buzz next thing next thing Appo this. that the you know and it's just it's. just nonstop you know oh the times where. you would sit I remember just laying in. my bed just like thinking about a girl. or something that didn't even exist. thinking yes yeah just laying thinking. yeah no who's think name 30 people that. are thinking right right now it's.

probably not no I don't think anyone is. really everybody is reacting just. sitting down thinking yeah I daydream. about just getting I I just want to move. to the country like not even like a like. shot part I want a porch and I want to. sit on the porch all day long and think. that's what I want to do I really I. swear to god dude I've come this close. to almost doing that and just leaving. this life like this like this career. life you know or just like dude or just. at least going like 6 months on 6 months. off yeah like I grew up in could I don't. know but I I'm romanticizing it right.

now you know I grew up in this city and. like I have six jobs you know like you. you know we it's a hustle what you know. you if you hustle you have to hustle or. you know what I mean it's just like I. don't know like I'm just so tired of. like even when I do allow myself like. all right the afternoon like the morning. I'm not going to look at my phone or. like if if I let's say I go away on. vacation you know if I do and it's like. three or four days I'm like I want to. stay off the grid I have this anxiety of. all the things that people are waiting.

on answers for that are piling up that's. what might be important or like go a b. someone needs my help or like you know. whatever and that when I get back think. about the hole I'm going to have to dig. out that CU it's keep it's piling up and. I can't even enjoy the off the grit days. because I'm like I'm going to get. Slaughter if I don't at least mitigate. it a little while I'm on vacation when I. come back I can't dig out of it dude I. don't know how you are but right now. look how many text messages I have. unanswered right there oh my gosh that's. insane look at the Miss. calls oh my God I can't live like this.

who are you dud I don't know you got. that too right you can't possibly I just. changed my number dude yeah I know. because I was tting you and I was like. oh [ __ ] the only got back to me though. the other day's the worst part some kid. the other day sends a thing I guess he. got my phone number right okay so he's. like some guy from Berlin or somewhere. some other country Maybe Africa he gets. my number he's like I got a burner phone. for 3 weeks it must be Theo V's phone.

number he's like so far I've talked to. MGK and Jordan Peterson that's what he. said cuz people were texting him texting. him he just thought it was still me no. [ __ ] dude I just forgot to I literally. told probably 15 people closest in my. life and then I was like I'm going to. shut my life down bro I just couldn't. handle anything anymore understand I so. understand dude cuz you know you know I. will tell you though cuz cuz when I went. to text you last I like you know. whenever it was like a few couple months. ago whatever what it was there was the.

last time I texted you and I guess in. the interim you had and I was looked at. it and it was a voice note and I was. like oh and I just I I I play it was a. while back but I I played it and it was. like this voice note I left you that was. like kind of like um it was like uh like. a not sentimental but it was like nice. message yeah it was like a it was like a. message like kind of like the one you. left me yeah like I'm thinking about you. I just you know I hope you're doing well. man like I'm always like you know I know. you're always on the go like I just it. was like a you know whole and I listened.

to it and I started cracking up CU I was. like I forgot I but I was like he didn't. even answer that you like I was like no. but I'm like but not cuz you didn't. answer CU I was like look I haven't. answered 200 you know what I mean but I. was like oh [ __ ] dude that's like so. funny I got to tell him and then when. you change your number I was like oh he. never even he never probably even got it. never got it yeah but it's all right. yeah that's the worst part the world the. the the the world knows I left like the. I left it I left that message thanks man. so now you know yeah some kid in Berlin. is probably decoding it right.

now no but uh what I say so oh no so I. lived in this compound right so that. summer everybody was like everybody had. like crushes and was getting girlfriends. and stuff oh like all my friends. pressure suddenly yeah like and it's. that young kind of like Sandlot kind of. thing kind of oh yeah you know what I. mean yeah you'd hear like Samantha likes. Randy first of all I didn't know who. Samantha was and I didn't know who. [ __ ] Randy was and when I found out I. can tell you right now Randy he didn't. deserve Samantha why I deserve Sam you. know what I mean but even if I didn't. even know who they were if I just heard.

that sentence Samantha likes Randy I was. like oh my god dude we got to get. somebody to like us left out yeah dude I. felt so left out and so I was I got to. the point where I went up to the went up. in it was Midday the pool's open all day. it's midday and uh I just felt like I. was TR was like midday midday uh I went. up and uh I was I was like sad and my. mom was like what's matter I what what. grade I was in yeah it was about. probably about fourth or fifth Fifth and. uh I actually was like everybody's got.

girlfriends like nobody likes me I was. like crying and stuff and I'm like I. don't know and she's like what's it at. I'm like no everybody that's a. girlfriend I don't have a girlfriend or. whatever I'll never forget what my mom. did she's so sweet I got to remind her. of this I don't know if she knows this. or remembers this so I was crying so she. comforted me and she's like you can you. can get a girlfriend too you just didn't. meet the you know the right girl yet or. whatever and I'm like yeah but he I was. name like Matt has a girlfriend Jason. has a girlfriend and I'm like they're. out there like and nobody likes me and. she's like you can get a girlfriend.

she's like We're going to get you a. girlfriend so she makes me put on a like. a like a nice outfit right then in the. middle of the day in the summer that day. when I went I I remember what I put on I. put on like I put on these gray dark. gray jeans yeah. Capezio there's a leather black leather. shoes that Michael Jackson used to wear. capezios I think they were called. capezios bring them up bring them up and. uh I got those cuz I was obsessed with. Michael Jackson so I had capezios these. were like special day like Easter shoes. yeah so I put on my Easter capezios I.

put on like dark gray and I put on this. like mock white like cream turtleneck. kind of shirt oh my God this gets worse. huh yeah yeah yeah but also better yeah. yeah so and then I put jewelry on you. know oh yeah and so I didn't really have. jewelry and so my mom gave me like a. gold chain of hers yeah and I put on my. mom's gold Jean and she put I she's like. you're going to go out you're going to. dress up so I put on this outfit I put. on her gold chain she sprays me with her. perfume cuz I didn't have.

cologne she's like little cologne and. she's like look it's like cologne and. she's like put on whatever she had I. don't know I would guess I was wearing. like Chanel or whatever the hell I don't. even know what it was and she gave me. five bucks and she's like when the ice. cream man comes you just go up to her. grill that you like ask her if you want. to you know to buy her ice cream or. whatever like that and my mom sent me. out and I went out with like women's. cologne my mom's chain $5 and capezios. and I was like just in the pool area. like looking for a girlfriend oh. yeah wow that's so romantic and that's.

how you ended up being a pimp basically. yeah that's basically how I ended up. being yeah pimp yeah gosh dude that's so. romantic I ended up buying five girls. five ice creams and then I wear in my. stable after. that I whip him with. the no it's pretty sad now that I think. about it yeah but what a s thing mom the. mom was beautiful that's beautiful yeah. it is you're right it is is beautiful. but I really felt sad then that was like. the foreshadowing of like the feeling I. had with the rent like that yeah I was I.

don't know my best friend got all the. girls when we were like the kids or. whatever so I'd always be like running. the notes for him and that sort of guy. you know but you got you but you are. popular with the ladies I started. getting dates um probably later in high. school yeah you know I got a girlfriend. pretty quick yeah but then I always kind. of felt uh you always kind of feel a. certain C way though I was kind of too. sentimental I think at times and [ __ ] I. don't know you but you you don't think.

like women didn't girls didn't like. respond to your you have a gentle way. about you uh nope no they weren't into. that really they would like a tougher. guy you know it was just like Young. Southern kind of you know there wasn't a. lot of like you know there was like the. drama you know there was like yeah it. was just you know it wasn't bad but it. just wasn't like um. I mean I remember when I was younger. they locked me in this room with this. girl she had a chip tooth pretty.

badly um yeah she had that that Lloyd. Chris little bit yeah that's bad that's. bad it's a lot for a kid that's bad I. Chi my tooth on a Miller highl once oh. making a joke I went to take a swig on. it for comedic effect and I hit it and I. chip my tooth I chipped like I would. call it less than 5% yeah and I couldn't. that's the only thing I looked at when I. looked at my face for a decade after. that so a third. dude I remember one time somebody came. in the room I think I was either jerking. off or just pretending I was jerking off.

right and I went like that and [ __ ] my. own tooth what room huh what room a room. in your home or a room in like school. would do you mean in room a room in a. home my home or somebody else's home. okay and that be well that's that's. fascinating if you felt Comfort to. masturb someone else I went like that. and then [ __ ] so now were chipped it. on your dick oh I where did you chip it. on I just chi on the my bottom tooth. just I I just like you your tooth.

chipped your own tooth yeah I was so my. God like a Civil War in your mouth yeah. and then I was like you know just like. you know you stay the course no way dude. I'm not crazy you think I'm jerking off. with a chip tooth no that that would be. crazy it's just the fact that you were. in someone else's I'm some kind of. homeless. person hell no dude I only jerk myself. off if I have a [ __ ] you couldn't you. weren't good enough for yourself after. you chipped it no like I ain't jerking.

off you I mean you do it feverishly then. yeah this guy with a chip tooth you. you're a spirited masturbator then I. don't know you're Ching teeth oh that's. it well I think I was just I was like so. shocked that somebody had come in the. room you know I don't remember exactly. what happened but I've chipped my teeth. a lot over the years really yeah well. the microphone you hit those a lot oh I. hate that and that'll bounce and people. can hear that too and they're all like a. I've done it I haven't chipped but I've. done and every time I hit it I go oh no. and I feel it right there cuz I'm like. please no but wait so what happened with. the girl it's a oneir uh yeah people.

locked us in a room and made us kiss. each other or whatever we're kids I. don't remember if we kissed or not I. think we did people like neighbors other. kids you know oh other kids cuz I going. to say this is bordering on something. that sounds not good yeah yeah know it. was on the up and up no nothing like. sexual just like they you know you. better get in there and kiss you little. queers or whatever they would call us. you know and then we had another family. that's Protestant she was a girl oh yeah. she was a girl she but and they still. called you que and her brother tough. Town yeah it was just and she had a. short haircut too okay okay and you had.

a long one yeah and people were like now. it's making sense now like you gay kids. better get in there you. know but uh and then what else was there. any good love stories and everybody we. had a lady that would always be drunk. and her husband I think was gone or. missing or whatever and she would like. be just drinking and laying on her cord. vet just like just this was an older. lady like a Miss Robinson type yeah. trying to be like all sex neighorhood.

old like oh wow like this vet she would. just be saying that to nobody and we're. like what is this lady doing dude just. and she was like I think kind of a [ __ ]. or whatever but then we had this other. guy he was kind of like a homer erotic. kid or whatever and he might have been. like a young man but he would always. like it was unclear we would do like the. Navy in his they had like a big bathtub. and he would have us pretend like we're. in the Navy or whatever and like swim. around in his tub or whatever but he.

wouldn't do anything this he was just. like a older kid and he had like used. hairspray and stuff so he was like I. think he didn't know that if he was gay. or not but he was gay you know and he. would have his do the Navy or whatever. at his house how do you do the Navy huh. how do you do the Navy you just swim. until somebody yells and [ __ ] throw. something at. you how many kids are in the tub. probably three kids. did you and were you in were you clothed. I mean it was Bumper to Bumper and there. it was there's not a lot of room in a.

tub you know I think we had our. underpants on it was it was submarine it. was like a submarine yeah yeah it was. like yeah it was like buds or whatever I. don't know what that what that thing is. that guys go through but yeah a lot of. just just some navy action yeah just. kids being yeah just like when you're at. home during the just like a lot of that. summertime stuff like what are we going. to do all day and then other kids. parents are going you end up doing we. you know just being around like the days. would get so long cuz then you'd have a. friend that went to summer camp and you. didn't go to summer camp so you would. just be literally laying face down on.

the sofa at home the TV's going and you. have nothing but just nothing I remember. we used to play like uh we called it. Manhunt you know what that is uh I don't. know it sounds like the Navy that I was. in yeah it was like outside like almost. like Tech like teams of like whatever. it's just five kids and five kids right. against and so basically one team goes. out and hides and the other team is his. job to capture all of them and there was. like you know home base and there was. like where they locked you up and so we.

we would have the whole apartment. complex and there was Hills and gr there. was some things in that so we would go. out and play Manhunt all day and it was. so intense that like there was a time. where like we split up and you used to. hide I I got so into it I used to put. like on camouflage and I used to like. Burrow under bushes and yeah we got that. intense with it you think that perfume. would give you away. AB yeah it's like there he is I smell. lilac uh I remember one time I went.

under this bush up on this little like. Hill like and I mean if you could find a. good spot great and you stayed there and. you would hear like you would hear like. screaming and running like in you know. and you would oh [ __ ] he's getting. caught and then you would have to come. out and if they were in the jail you can. if you got there and tagged them you. would free them again but if you got. caught like now it's high stakes right. cuz if you let's say three three people. your friends are PS right and now you. got to go get now there's five people. still searching for only two of you and.

like now they got people guarding the. jail so they're hunting you down and now. you got to get past that guy who's. already guarding it and then when once. he yells it's a sworn so it's like. really it really like you had to get. strategy with you know so I would commit. to it so one time I dug under I mean I. went under a bush dude and I put like. dirt I was like and I was looking and 20. minutes 30 minutes 40 minutes hour was. easy I'm talking like dude I'm talking. like two plus hours wow and I stopped.

hearing everybody and like I was like do. I come out like I don't I don't like. this a great spot it was I swear to God. it was getting dark out and that's where. I was like I don't hear anybody it's. getting dark like and so I came out it. was like two two and a half hours I was. I was under the talk about how who has. the time to lay in the dirt for two and. a half hours just to play a game this is. what I want to go back to yes but uh I. came out and I start looking for them. and I can't even find them dude and we. Liv in this apartment and I lived on the. second floor my friend lived on the.

first floor and I said I'm just going to. go home and I start to go home and I. hear I hear people I hear no I hear. people and they're all singing happy. birthday and I hear like and it's coming. from the first floor of my friend's H. one of my best friend's house that lives. all the windows open I'm like what the. hell and I look in everybody's in there. for a birthday party just having a. birthday party they're already at the. cake they're already at the cake and I. was just in the dirt for two and a half. hours just like hoping not to get caught. by by. the and the crazy part was there was.

nobody to tell that story too it's just. like you get inside it's like do you. want some cake like guys like you. usually like all right we're calling it. you know what I mean but yeah lot of bad. Intel it was a different time yeah dude. it was like I mean I had nothing I we. used to come over one one time we moved. I moved in with my grandparents when I. was uh around just after Fifth Fifth. Grade and I moved in with my. grandparents and then I moved away from. those people and they didn't live in the. best neighborhood so we weren't really. allowed to go outside it was like a. really bad neighborhood like you would. hear like gunshots and stuff oh yeah.

like just in the summer they didn't have. we didn't have air conditioned so like. we had all the windows open and you just. hear like like you just it was normal. but um my grandparents Liv there for. like 50 60 years you know and so uh we. Liv downstairs for them for a bit when. we trying to get uh you get our footing. or whatever and um and I had nobody just. me and my sister right so I'd get home. from school and like I had like not I. just would like whatever like that's why. how was beating Mike Tyson like like. hand one hand behind my back but uh but. I remember one time I was I was like I.

maybe I'll get a pet so I used to I. don't know if you had these County like. these fairs or these festivals at your. school yeah yeah have those like did. they would like come like confetti eggs. and stuff we would have different things. like they would come like car like they. would open up the was like a ferris. wheel and like a like they would come. for like a few days like a mini little. uh what do you call them like not. Carnival but like a you know like Fair a. fair yeah we just had a Carney in here. actually which was pretty cool but we. yeah we had fairs too oh really yeah I.

can't never tell if you're joking oh we. had a Carney in. here you said that we had a car how did. you uh we had a car in here actually. how' you book one uh we just searched. for him ah we searched for him we found. a decent guy but um yeah but they had. fairs too yeah we had yeah I know what. you're talking about so so we had these. fairs you had come to your school yeah. they were posted up in the parking lot. and it was also a way for the school to. raise money because it would also be. like casino night in the at the church. so like the parents they would get you. know so it's like but they had those.

games I would come home with like a. stuffed down you know whatever and uh. they had this thing he threw a a. pingpong bowl and goldfish and he's. little just you know there was like. maybe a a grid like 20 by 20 grid of. these little bowls with goldfish in them. and then you it was like it was like 50. cents you threw a ball of a pingpong. ball landed in the thing they bagged up. the goldfish for you and they gave it to. you they shouldn't be doing that I mean. if you think gold people don't give. goldfish any respect at all like they're. just as good as nothing they're like.

ants like you know it's it's not fair. people eat them and throw them back up. like St you know but but goldfish get a. really bad they're really born into a. bad life if you think about it they. don't have a memory they don't they a. lot of them are used just to feed other. fish it's almost sex trafficked almost. in a way B no sex yeah yes and if you're. a goldfish I mean I don't know man I. just a goldfish is a terrible life you. get split from your family you know you. don't even know who your family is you. don't know who your family is you get. immediately put you either live alone. for the your whole life or you get.

thrown in with people you don't want to. be with yeah you know and then you. usually die of an infection you know. your eye is like has a big freaking like. cotton ball on it or something like that. and like and you Die slow yeah nobody. knew how to reverse a goldfish death. when I was young you got it and then. when it started to die you're like oh. there's the white stuff couple weeks now. he's got a couple and then like you just. watch you'd still feed him and you you. just watch him with like one flip or you. stare at this thing looking at you like. I am I have been dying for two weeks you.

know so as a matter of fact I I got so I. I would get them and bring them home and. like oh this is going to be like pass. the time I have I have something to take. care of now yeah my my mom never knew I. never got the setup she never got me a. tank a filtration system I didn't know. you needed a filtration yeah I did not. know cuz when you threw the bowl in the. thing there was no filtration and they. just threw them in that water well you. know they that water has to be cycled. and filtered whatever those are all. goners and they if the pingpong ball. don't hit they're Dy in anyway right.

it's like a kill shelter basically for. fish right and so I would bring him home. and I would put him in a salad bowl I. just fill up tap water throw them in a. salad bowl I'm like this is like. Italians think you can solve anything. throw in a salad bowl dude dude I just I. was like this is as big as this is eight. times bigger than what he came from he's. like the Jefferson right he's moving on. up this thing I'm in a big salad bow. right. and I would just bread it was white. bread I would just put white bread in. there and I I was like what the [ __ ]. because I'm a kid what are you making a.

sandwich dude I when when we were a kid. and we went fishing at the lake we would. we would bow up Wonderbread till it. became like a like a bowl oh yeah a. little nugget and put it in and then put. on the hook and we did it with. Wonderbread so so I would just feed it. Wonder Bread and you know it wasn't. until way after that I realized like the. fish would eat like I would break it and. throw it in in chunks and it would suck. it right in and then shoot it right back. out you know some of them wouldn't come. back out but most of them would shoot. back out and I'd be like I just was like. he's full yeah but I guess he just. didn't want whiteed I don't think they.

can take it in yeah yeah so I would so. they would always die so I felt so bad. so then I realized one day like I was. like the fish store cuz there was a. there was a fish store my cousin's house. that we used to it was on the same. square block we weren't allowed to cross. the street so we can go to the fish. store without crossing the street so one. day I'm in there and I'm like oh there's. these bubble like I don't have that I. got to get bubbles yeah so one time I. went in and I I brought a fish home my. mom wasn't home from work yet and I was. like I got to I don't want this fish to. die and so I took a straw yeah and I put.

I I put it in the fish in the salad bowl. and I. blew into the salad bowl to keep the. fish alive I blew bubbles until for 3. hours until she got home at 6 o00 thing. was dead that night I'm blowing carbon. dioxide directly into the thing I. literally was like literally poisoned. the fish I'm sitting there going and I'm. blow and I named him I named him Harry. and I remember cuz I named every fish. and they all died very quickly and so I.

was I'm here I am 3 hours blowing with a. straw and I just thought the bubbles did. it so so finally when I got. older I uh I my niece won a fish and she. brought it home well maybe my little. sister or my niece won a fish brought a. home and was it beautiful was it big it. was little it was a little right but I. was like I'm I'm not I was like I'm not. letting this happen to this fish I was I. was like right this is gonna be. different I was like 20 20 I was like. probably 23 24 right who am I if I.

continue to let this happen went right. to the store bought the whole setup I. came home rocks like like Coral fake. coral yeah Castle little DMV in there I. had a the treasure chest and like a. little like like a little DMV kind of. thing little perk dealer yeah yeah I I. got yeah all that I had the whole. neighborhood in there right all the. people in the neighborhood but I had all. the auta and I got into it buy the Rocks. I don't know if you ever had a fish but. then you have to like you roll the rocks. through a strainer because the dye has. to come off a little bit you put them in. there and you have I got so into this I.

bought medicine food I bought all like I. I would do the water I would tested the. pH put all the I would uh what you call. I would uh what do you call it condition. the water oh yeah and I took this fish. and I had it for six or seven years. right and it fish became like this big. and I don't know if it's a thing but I. would just feed the fish I would put my. hand and the fish would eat out of my. hand that might be. want any of them do but it really felt. like we had something like like if I put. my hand there he didn't jolt away he she. he would just like go he would like go.

in my hand and just like stay there oh. you know and so s years you don't see a. lot of that you don't see that now these. days where goldfish with people like. that right anyway one day he's he died. or whatever and I think I honestly think. he was murdered I really do I'm not. making a joke I know it sounds like I am. I think I think that it was a SP I think. maybe got murdered out a spite from. somebody in my house. I think or a friend cuz I had just done. the clean the fish tank he was in. perfect health I just did a full fish.

tank cleaning you did it like every. three weeks I mean I I dumped it out I. put him in another bucket you have to do. this whole thing you put half of the. water in the bucket with him because you. wanted to stay like the ecosystem that. water oh it's like FEMA or whatever yeah. exactly I was basically like I was. basically like Red Cross yeah my cousin. worked for FEMA for while they had to do. all that [ __ ] he'd be [ __ ] putting. wet people in shoe boxes for 2 hours all. they [ __ ] vacuum out there I was I. was fing it up and uh and I put it I. tested everything I had science seven.

years right and it looked beautiful too. it flourished right then then the next. day he was in the clean water just dead. just not even a slow death just dead I. suspect Foul Play yeah but this fish. moved with me to three different. locations okay so I'm in the third. location that I've owned this fishing in. seven years and that's where he died and. and I it was a summer and I felt guilty. I didn't want to flush the fish it just. felt disrespectful seven years I'm going.

and the pipes too are are you in New. York at that time yeah yeah yeah I don't. want to put the fish that I I I called. my friend where I you know where people. [ __ ] yeah that's a good point actually. hey fish I love you yeah people that's. another thing people just flush the. Goldfish when they die it's so. disrespectful they have no they have no. platform no voice anyway uh I didn't. want you're right they don't they don't. people don't get I didn't want to so I. was I'm GNA bury it in the yard yeah and. it was a summer and I just didn't want.

to bury it cuz I felt like it was going. to stink and decomposed and stuff maybe. be dug up by like a. raccoon and so I was like I have to wait. till cooler weather and so I put in the. freezer I did wow did I tell you the. story no cuz I told it before but I I I. was thinking what would somebody do I. put it in tin foil and I put it in my. freezer yeah and you know I kind half. and half half was I forgot about it and. like maybe I missed a cycle or maybe you. don't want to remember CU it's painful. too sometimes your brain will.

hide um information yeah like I had to. unearth it in therapy or something but I. one thing led to another and a few warm. Seasons passed and I still hadn't what. the [ __ ] I still hadn't done it and um. and then it got to the point where I was. like I don't know I just felt bad I was. like whenever I I I just felt bad and. then I moved. it could have been toxic shock syndrome. or something you know a lot of animals. if they move too many times they get. really sick yeah well I mean not to.

worry about that with him because he was. dead oh another thing was I thought that. they' only died when I I was like it's. bad luck to name him so I never I had. this for seven years I didn't name him. oh that would kill anyone I called him. fish fine he didn't care and uh I moved. and I and then I moved I took this stuff. from my fridge and freezer with me it's. not like I'm gonna throw stuff out I. took them I moved again. so I moved from what kind of compartment. is he in are you keeping him in a little. bowl or a little bag with water in it. it's uh tin foil okay he's not in water.

and so I so the the place I had him he. have like a couple grams of a fish. rolled up in tin foil it's like this big. of a fish and uh it's in my freezer. right he's in my freezer right now guess. he's in my freezer right now and it has. has been it has been since he died it. has been 2010 it's been about 12 years. since he's Di and I have I moved into. the house 2010 that he died in and then. when I moved to my next house in. 200 15 he was already dead so he died.

somewhere between 2010 and 15 I 2012. 2013 he the fish is Frozen in my freezer. right this very very second wow still. today today 12 years I have a frozen. fish in that I told the story in my. podcast and people sawed send me fish. coffins little fish coffins and I I was. going to actually have a like a a fun. Ral for him yeah I was I told on my pod. years ago and so people started sending. him in and we were going to do like a. like a patreon like funeral for him oh.

man but he's and then you know what I. ended up taking him I hadn't done it but. we talked about it so I got him out of. the I used to film it at my house so I. got him out of the freezer and I opened. it no way I scared I did yeah I he's. still there I put him back in but I was. scared to do it did he have any how did. he look it wasn't good you know it was. he was still whole yeah but uh he was I. I mean very very very light gold yeah if. if there was even a it was a gradient it. was maybe like a 10% goldium maybe yeah.

it was like it was like whitish you it. might have been close to White which is. a hint to gold and his eyes it was like. the cheapest high school ring you could. get exactly right yeah what that was. like he turned local gold or whatever it. would have like a term they' be like oh. yeah Special Zone like um Mountain gold. or something. just something they tried to sell you on. yeah that turned and his eyes they were. like not. there which was he had like the sockets.

but the balls they were kind of not. there I don't know what happens to balls. when you freeze them over time if you're. a goldfish well I'll say this we had a. guy named Max Moore on and he uh runs. the cryonics Institute which is where. they freeze people in Arizona and it how. was that conversation was that it was. interesting I don't know if it's a scam. or not I believe that in theory it's a. it's a good idea I really wonder about. that I really do but they keep bodies in. like these big um Vats of uh nitrogen.

and they just keep them at really low. temperatures in the hopes that one day. they'll be able to uh yeah like Walt. Disney and Coler shimsky right yeah like. start them back up yeah um that's wild. though would you do it I mean some. people like it's all the same you're. gone you're gone why not put it in there. and see if the i' I've had this conv cuz. like what do you want to wake up to like. what say let's say in 300 years they can. bring you back because it's like you. know they find the technolog is there. and then come priz or. something you know no one you know.

nothing of that world it's like yeah. you're just be yeah like this draft is. brought to you by prize pi and you're. just just drafting you back into time. bro that's definitely going to be what. it's like when you think about it in the. future you're going to be able. to create your own player like you can. do on video games but out of DNA that's. actually in ABS you're going to be able. to create your own like player that will. play in like some special gym Universe. somewhere and that will actually. eventually go onto the court and play.

like that's going to be a real thing. people can. do I have my DNA and and sperm you do. stored yeah and I just did I just did. the 23me premium package really what did. it what all and how I mailed it out I I. mailed it out 10 days ago it's like five. to six weeks it comes out I've always. want dude 20 years ago I I've always. been like I need to know as far back as. I can go I need to like I just it's so. fascinating to me I've asked to be on. that show uh like oh history hey this is.

where you're from there's two of them. like one's a PBS version and one's like. a and it's just like where you came. whatever it's called I've been asking. them for years cuz they like they do all. the leg work the black people ones. always just Chicago it's like you're. from Chicago you're like. that's there's been some crazy ones. though like I seen people go on there. like celebrities and then realize that. they came from like really bad people. yeah yeah I've seen that dude I've seen. dude I got I did my 23 I was like 40%. thousand island dressing I feel. like all the Thousand Island term I.

don't know that dressing went downhill. didn't it yeah I never liked it wow yeah. it's doing too much it's it's also a. mystery to me it's like kind of like. orange right yeah it's like a orangey. mayet it kind of feel may I don't like a. mayic Bas I don't like it but uh you did. do it or you didn't do it French. dressing was big remember yeah yeah I. you don't hear much about French. dressing anymore everything's a vinegret. now yeah it's a vinegret it's ranch or.

it's blue cheese ranch never lost blue. cheese yeah I don't like Ranch either. French was very scary to be a child and. they would have French like no thank you. it was Orange right yeah no I don't oh. no orange was thousand island but there. was a really fine orange one French the. li like uh no that was the Italian one. was like the oil B yeah you're right. yeah there is no I wouldn't I wouldn't. [ __ ] with French yeah French was very. shock does look appealing no I'm not a. big salad dressing guy I I'll do a.

little red wine vinegar I just stick to. that but I'll do I'll I'll eat some blue. cheese um but what the H is that did you. really do the 23 and meon no yeah so. what did. you cuz I did this one now where you. could like find out you can go back like. it says like G I mean hundreds of years. like they tell you like really. I I read a review where the guy was like. I found out that like my great great. great great I I'm not joking and I was. like he's like I I found out like my.

great great great great great. great-grandfather died by an. arrow that's the kind of detail he got I. don't know how but I read it and I was. like hell yes I want to know all of this. yeah you know I can't wait for the. results to come back I can't wait I've. done ancestry I know my I know my. breakdown but I didn't do it where it's. like genetic testing I did that traits. uh you know. predispositions everything like if. you're a night person what stuff you. should eat and not eat and then all as.

as much uh history of of your family. tree as possible do yeah do you think. you want to know all that I guess. sometimes I like I really well i' I've. lived with a mystery for 40 something. years already I want now I want to know. you know what I mean I just feel like. you know I don't know I how do you not. you don't really know your you know. yourself but you got to know I I have a. longing to know exactly where I came. from was was it a big thing in y'all's. house did y'all's family was like this. is where you're from because that is the. thing I that I feel like is very.

important that um should be in more. homes probably is like this is who your. grandfather was and this is like where. our bloodline comes from and this is. what we've been through I think. everybody should know that we didn't do. it at all and I think that's why I long. for it like I I only I I knew one. great-grandparent when I she died she. passed away at 99 and I was still young. and then I had a very great relation. reltionship with my four grandparents I. mean very close and I still have my one. of my grandmas and I they all I luckily. I I had them till a decent decent age so.

I was really really tight and I was like. I just wish I knew you know about I you. know you blow your mind thinking about. like even just go back like it's crazy. that we don't even know our great-. grandparents never mind just a few times. removed you know just how about great. great great no idea and that shit's like. that's long enough ago to be like oh he. was a you know he was a you know. blacksmith I don't even know what you. know what I mean he lived oh yeah I mean. yeah a lot of times you just know like. oh my grandpa drove a van or whatever. you're like what yeah what the [ __ ] the.

guy lived a whole life right he created. your dad right and all you know yeah is. that he he smok malls yeah that's all. you know he smoked unfiltered cigarettes. and the guy lived yeah he had a chicken. coop yeah that's really it though right. that's it like oh yeah everybody likes. to almost yeah there's like there's this. mystery whereas I think long time ago. there used to be a lot more um. probably uh familiar lore yes that was. passed down and now it's just like um a.

lot of that's not present in a lot of. families like my dad dude I remember my. dad was like she'd be like I think my. dad like to drank a pretty good bit like. my dad was very my dad was born in he. was he was 70 when I was born so he was. an older guy you know um he was like. remember you talked about that in your. first special yeah he was like by I knew. it you know in a lot of ways um but yeah. he was like he would my dad would like. drive us to school or something my dad's. car he always hit stuff with his car so.

he always had like spare tires in his. car like in the back seat was stacked. with [ __ ] tires that were blown out. or one that were still usable dude um. and so a lot of times you just get in. the backseat of his car so You' like he. take me to school sometimes and I would. get out and all my clothes and skin. would be just covered in black tire. marks dude like I just wander in a. school. dude like just trying like I'm A. diversity.

hire like pig pen from peanuts yeah like. yeah like I'm part of the diversity. Miner like a 5-year-old coal miner um. and then yeah he just saw was like B you. know he just so that was very so so you. what did you know of your your. grandfather then oh I didn't know your. paternal oh my I knew we had a step. Grandpa that would smoke a lot of. cigarettes you know and he would wear. his like he used to wear motorcycle. goggles even when he was just sitting on. the porch for a long time he wore like.

that he had like that old school kind of. motorcycle hat with the goggles you know. he just wore it on the porch and he'd. sit on the porch and just I think he. wanted people to know he was about to go. about his motorcycle all the time I want. to know that guy you know and he wore. like a onesie kind of like a um but a. workers ones like like a like a yeah. like a like a like a like a Dickies like. a a jumpsuit thing yeah and he worked at. a factory and stuff like that oh see. this is like yeah that's like a salt of. the that's like that's what I'm talking. about you know what I'm saying I want to. know that like I don't know man I I you. know my grandparents all had like eight.

or nine siblings yeah that's a big you. know what I mean but what did your dad. do did he do is your dad kind of a neat. guy do you have any good like cool. memories about him when he was a kid my. dad well he's he's still with me luckily. yeah oh my dad even just like Memories. when you were a kid of like your dad. like what was your like my dad would. have these big shoes that we would put. on sometimes and that was pretty cool my. dad would put his shirt sometimes he. would take his shirt off he like to. drink and he would have a couple drinks. or whatever and then he would just take. his shirt off and like button it up like. in front of us and he'd be like oh you.

got my shirt on huh and he would say. stuff like that and then he would just. pass out on the sounds like a very warm. guy the just the physicality that you. become when you're talking I'm like you. got a you got a shirt on put a shirt on. he be like you got my shirt on like that. was his like playing with us or whatever. game who wants to wear my shirt. and you were just your eyes were burning. with like brute and like Old Spice. like and by the time you got the shirt.

off or whatever he would just be like. asleep on the couch yeah yeah yeah you'd. be like this is good my dad you know. like you know I I'm lucky I I have a. really good relationship he's like my. best friend really uh you know growing. up is cool you know I got hit by a car. with him uh my body got not in a car. accident we were play in frisbee in a. parking lot by my house and uh it was a. gated it was a gated parking lot and it. was like one of those posts those like. CW not C what do you call those those. those um veteran VW posts right you know.

what I'm saying and uh it was like a big. parking lot and it was gated and so VFW. VFW was yeah and um and so we used to. play like stick ball and that thing and. like hockey and things like that and so. they but but because it was always. closed when it wasn't an event it was a. big empty parking lot and it was gated. and it was pretty big for a kid like it. was like you know it was a good like I. would call it uh. maybe about aund maybe 25 feet long. something like that or more you know and. pretty wide and uh he in the buildings.

we lived in it was right in the front of. them those buildings and he was he had. like so many jobs and he was a. superintendent of those buildings so he. had an office there and we also lived. there and I would go visit him in the. office and go around and like help him. fix watch him fix like you know things. he you know oh he was a super yeah he. was a super oh wow yeah and at he was. also garbage man but he did both and uh. and so he had office he used to lift. weights in there and I used to go hang. out with him and and the guys that. worked there and everything you know. they had like posters of girls on the. wall in the office and like they played. darts and stuff but my dad like he.

didn't drink he wasn't like a he wasn't. into sports he didn't drink he just was. like I don't know man he just he was. very unique he's a healthy guy very into. fitness but um but you know I I hung out. with him a lot and so he took me one day. I'll never forget he's like oh we're. going to go play and he threw it was a. Coca-Cola red Coca-Cola frisbee I just. and we went down the block we went in. there not a car in the place Place Gates. closed and we're throwing the frizzy. back and forth I'm young I'm probably I. was like five six years old tops and uh. you know I don't even know to this day I.

can't really throw a frisbee I throw the. one that just does that oh really yeah. you can throw a frisbee it must feel. like a superpower it does feel good when. you learn it cuz when you don't know how. to do it as a dude it is a questionable. look yeah I I mean I it's a it's it's. anybody's it's anybody's guess when I. throw it how it's going to look if it's. going to just sail to the right if it's. going to wobble if it's going to hit the. floor like you know can you throw it. like that huh no I that dude is also. closet and gay dud that thing I'll throw.

it like a regular dude yeah and bless. him yeah but that dude is like yeah any. of that dude that dude's trying to steal. your lady too you know he's skipping it. yeah yeah yeah he's skipping it off of a. [ __ ] you could throw like you Toyota. Tel or whatever yeah yeah yeah well that. was that's a show off you know nobody. likes a show off that's what I don't. like is that guy yeah I could just make. sure I get it to where it's going in the. area so so if we were playing if we. having a is it a a catch having a catch. yeah having a frisbee having a throw. catch throwing frisbee a throw we throw.

a frisbee you you can I can be far away. from you and you could be like I I got. you you get me that's that's that's. really that's really nice do you have to. spin in a full circle before you let it. go or no can you just do like that I. didn't really throw like a disc cuz I. had no skill whatsoever in that. department so I would just like you know. Let it go yeah and um sorry it's all. dude what happened to me I had a. traumatic experience I seen three gay. dudes throwing a frisbee in a Hampton in. uh uh hot tub like a big hot.

tub and to this day yeah that had to be. bigger than the place the tub you play. Navy in because they were throwing the. Frisbee well they were all just sitting. there just kind of throwing it to each. other and it just was a it was just the. most craziest thing I'd ever seen in my. life wait what B was crazy the fact that. they it was like kind of like a little. sport and they were only sitting like 4. feet from each. other and then they kept throwing this. little frisbee to each. other I love that you described that as.

like a would you say a traumatic would. you say a crazy experience call [ __ ]. broke my. heart cuz that's when I knew that our. military was. done that's what I knew dude oh God that. uh to me it sounds like. it sounds like a a a party broke out. though yeah you're right I think I got. and a lot of it for me is a perspective. issue it's like I.

show it is man I show up with a negative. perspective I'm like I love you look at. these guys look at these Air Force guys. or whatever oh I me missed that part. they were in the Air Force oh no no no. they were in the Navy prob you saw you. weren't in the tub and you're just. having like PTSD about the was it you. throwing a lot of bad. experiences yeah um that's hilarious. well mine went wide and um it was our.

neighborhood and my dad saw a guy that. he knew walking by in the street outside. the other side of the gate and so he was. like I'm gonna he just walked over to. the gate to say hello to his friend and. he's at the gate talking to his friend. and and he he threw it to me and it was. like over went over there so I was like. all right I'm I was walking to go get it. I mean there was there was two things in. this parking lot me and my dad and so. I'm walking to get the Frisbee and then. I look up and from the other side of the. parking lot I see a station wagon is in.

the is now in the parking lot and it's. driving toward me. and even at that age I'm like I'm I had. I didn't mind there's no way he didn't. see it wasn't like oh my God a car's. coming yeah I was just like I no he's. saw me and I'm walking to get the thing. and he's driving toward it as well and I. I remember it so vividly I I I I got to. the Coca-Cola Frisbee and I looked down. and I looked and the car was still. coming at me you know it wasn't going.

that fast I I I'm sure it was going like. 10 miles an hour whatever right. something like that and uh and I went to. go pick up the Frisbee and my dad's. talking he doesn't he's not looking and. I go to pick up the Frisbee I remember I. picked it up and I dropped it I fumbled. it and it dropped back down and I had. this moment of do I pick it back up. right now or do I get out like I I just. remember being like I it happened fast. and I went to pick a bag up and the next. thing when I woke up I was in my dad's. arms and he was running with me in his.

arms and uh and get in his car and we. take me to the hospital oh I didn't get. any uh broken bones or anything I got. bruised up and uh but yeah blacked out. completely the car hit me now now in. hindsight I know the story like my dad. got my dad got so mad like he he he. turned around he just I I don't know. what you must think to see your. 5-year-old get hit by a car yeah and I. didn't know this till later on but I. found out that he just went nuts and he. he ran the guy hit the thing and he ran.

up to the car and he was like just. punching like get out of the car just. punch in the car and the guy wouldn't. get he like get the and he's trying to. rip it and my my Dad's friend goes s s. don't worry about that get your son you. know oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and he was. like ah and they just grabbed me and we. ran went to the hospital um he was. punching the car you you know but that. was a big guy you know I punched in the. car and everything and then uh yeah so I. got hit by this car hold on son yeah. it's like stick with stay with me you.

know I'll be right with. you smash but um it later turned out. that it was one of my kid in my grammar. school's grandfather but anyway uh and I. I we sued him but it was like man it was. really a disappointment of a law suit. yeah cuz I got five I mean I was like. what was it it was like probably 1981. but I got 5,000 bucks it's a lot of. money then yeah adjusted for inflation. uh from 81 hit me out uh and then I. couldn't touch it till I was 18 and so.

when it was 18 she had that auto 12. Grand when I was 18 it was 12 when you. were 18 yeah I think 12 13 Grand that. was that's about it 5,000 to that's a. lot of money 12 Grand with 18 yeah what. you do with. it you know I don't really know. ultimately but I'll tell you what I. thought I was going to do with it I. thought I was going to buy an engagement. ring oh with it yeah that's what I told. I was like oh I'm gonna just take this. money to buy you an engagement ring yeah.

thank I I love that you've taken like a. like a a like a like a knee for me so. many times I started with the gout so. many times you're really like i' You'. you really uh felt my pain thanks man. yeah it's I mean that's a [ __ ] God. yeah when I get I'm going to get her. that ring and we're going to get a. little home or something it sounds like. uh there's so much like I haven't spoken. about like it's just it sounds right now. that I'm like yeah man my life with this. woman and I'm still thinking about it. it's like I didn't remember that that I.

was going to do that but when you asked. me I was like I think yeah I remember. telling her that like I'm going to get. you a ring with this money yeah yeah. yeah I think yeah well oh I remember a. girl she broke out with me and then I. got in like oh I'm gonna I remember. calling her mom I'm GNA buy her a ring. you know and like I took that Avenue one. time like I was I was just. yeah doing that stuff and planning ahead. is relationships are [ __ ] hard. especially when you're just figuring out. about love and am I in love what's going. on you know how many how many uh have.

you been in love yeah I've been in love. man how many times you know I think. maybe three four times I think you know. yeah that's about right that's about I. think three for me I got to start dating. towards a family you know cuz you want. one I think so yeah yeah cuz otherwise. I'm like what happens if you don't get. one. then you are are you it sometimes it. gets a little strange when I still. go like to people's things or something.

and it's just me I get that yeah I get. that it's like I got to start bringing. somebody do you but you don't want to. bring some boot like you know you don't. want to bring like something that's not. like potential and right right right. right so wait so are you feeling. pressure just externally because of. those situations and maybe what your age. or are you feeling internally. biologically like I long for this and I. and I I feel like I'm ready to I I feel.

like I'm kind of ready to start a family. like are you feeling that or you like I. think it's a little bit of both I think. it's. like if I'm going to do it I have to do. it at some point do you feel or I'm. gonna be like my dad right you know or. not really but I'll be you know I see. what you're saying a parallel yeah so. you know but I think think there's part. of me in that that's always like oh you. could do it whenever I think that could. have been my mindset that I got too you. know like I can always yeah so you want. to put my shirt on.

you I don't know man I got to set you up. with somebody or something I don't know. I I don't really play matchmaker but uh. keep your ears open people sometimes try. to matchmake me but I just got to be. more like um but you're not looking for. it I mean I'm keeping my eyes open. Nashville is kind of tough because it's. a lot of like college and then a lot of. married you know also now you know. you're so you're so F like you're F you. got to like how you meet someone is more.

little has to be a little more intricate. intricate now like you got to make sure. you you need someone you're investing. your time in someone like that's for the. right reasons and like that was the. thing with me like the my my my girl. that I'm with now I've been with since. before I was like in the public you know. what I mean it was like it was like. right just like right about that time. but I I've known her I knew her like. I I would say like seven eight years. even before that yeah so you know I. didn't have to navigate being in the.

public like this and then trying to you. had some put myself out there for. somebody like that you know be be. vulnerable and you invest that kind of. time and not you know um yeah it gets a. little spooky because some you're afraid. to like message somebody if you like if. you meet somebody online you know and. you don't want to feel forced to like. have to meet somebody that's also in. like has you know I'd love to just meet. a yeah I just want to meet whoever I'm. supposed to meet yeah so just want to. make sure I'm able to be like in a good. space you know and just be ready yeah.

you know yeah and I just feel like a. little bit of that kind of change and. like I think I'm ready for something a. little bit more realistic you know yeah. I I I uh I never really talk about it um. I never talk about but I uh yeah I was. 43 i' been I I'm married I'm married I. never really talk about it at all but um. people know that I'm with my lady for a. very long time I always reference her. yeah you know her you've know you've. known her that since back you too sorry. I shouldn't have said this she's. wonderful I'll say that beautiful she's.

my best friend that's I was going to say. yeah I was going to say beautiful but. then I'm like dude you can't say. beautiful to the guy that's you say cute. right is cute weird dude she hot yeah. I'll just pretend I didn't say anything. yeah I I honestly dude I I I'm so so. private I just never want to privacy is. like the last thing I have you know once. I give it away I can't get it back and. it's just weird because I I've spent you. know a decade on television as myself. and so there's like there's a different. type of filter between me and the people. that enjoy what I do and stuff and that.

there's a familiarity and it's like good. and bad so some people are like just. very curious because I'm I am so private. so that kind of brings Stokes curiosity. but then also just sometimes people like. they just feel like they know me and so. like there's a little bit of a line. Crossing I was very private be my whole. life so this is like to theth for me you. know so like I just keep it I just keep. that to the vest cuz it really what is. what does it matter what does that. detail matter to any it doesn't matter. you know and I but but it's also want to. be able to speak freely about your own.

life I do that's exactly right that's. exactly right and I I do want to talk. about my own life and I was I was what I. was saying was my next special that I'm. working on now I am going to like I want. to do it on my own terms and stuff so I. am like going to be speaking about you. know her on stage and stuff so I was. like you know what I just got to like. you know just put it out there and stuff. yeah it's important yeah yeah yeah it's. it's it's interesting it's like you want. to be able to be yourself at the same. time you want to protect the few things. you have that feel like that they aren't. public and protect her as a person cuz.

like you know you know how you know the. internet is and all that stuff it's just. like it is you know and I just like I. don't like it you know I want to keep. the people I love the most away from it. you know but but there's a sense of me. that also wants to speak about my life. and you know and you know I mean like I. love her she's my best friend I talk. about her but like she's always like you. know you if you say it you say it you. know but you know she's like I don't. mind if you you know you know and I'm. like I just want to say but once I say. it you know it's just a thing you know I. don't know if I make more of it than it. should be in my own head but yeah dude.

I've never really said it so uh I think. one other time dang Yeah Yeah well yeah. thanks for talking about it man I felt. you make me comfortable thanks bro yeah. there's been times in my life where I. didn't want to say that I was dating. somebody because I would think I was. worried about what people would think or. people would try to find that person you. know um and but then at some points I. felt bad that I didn't try and honor. them a little bit more you know or if. they felt like that you know that's the. struggle I have you know and she's very. understanding uh she's the best but like. uh you know so it's it's like that.

balancing it's balancing all those. things you know and so it's even like it. feels weird for me to even say it out. loud yeah I can tell you it's a little. bit nervous energy for you yeah cuz once. I you know once it's out of the bag it's. out of the bag but it's like we can. always take it out too 100% if you just. you know if you think about that totally. fine right on um I mean do you want to. talk about building a family or you. don't want go into that you think you're. okay that's really going there but I I. guess I'm I'm going to do it as well I. mean I don't know that's yeah I mean. like to say that I have a kid it's like.

it's you you don't feel like you have to. at all you don't feel like I think you. have to or anything at all no not at all. babe not at all I I feel totally. comforable I'm just saying to myself. like I dud I I have never you know. really said it it's like you know just. one of you know but uh and I so it's. yeah it's just like here it is does it. feel scary to admit to yourself you. think no I [ __ ] I mean if in my regular. life I don't even like if you come up to. me with my wife this my kid like I don't. it's that's real life right but why do. people that see me for 22 minutes a week.

on TV need to know that why do people. you know what I mean like in real life I. honor my real life you know but this is. just like this is entertainment for you. I don't know if I want to invite you in. like I I don't want people to be like. come up to me like hey how's your wife. like it's like I you know but um that's. a good point yeah but but with so it's. even like I think it's a like more with. the daughter yeah it's like super. protective you know what I mean but but. I it's the best thing that's ever. happened to. me I mean if I start talking about her. man I I'll get tears in my eyes and like.

so so that I love her so much I want to. express that you know yeah I'm so scared. I'm so scared too what do you think yeah. I don't know you know I don't have that. response I don't have that like. something that I'm responsible for but. also I want to it's funny I think about. that a lot I think about like if I have. kids would I let people know do I feel. like people need to know but then also. do I want to be honest about my own life. but then who am I being honest to like. can I still just be honest to myself and. be like a good family man I think with.

podcasting I think it gets a little. different because it's like a lot of. times we do share stuff that's real to. us and so then people get to know us in. a different element isn't it weird and. you've been doing it so long right and. so talk for so many hours and then. sometimes you'll see someone come up to. you and they know something intimate and. you're like oh I guess I I cuz we get so. comfortable with each other and you know. we're and this is what you want to have. a real conversation right and it's like. just so weird because over time when. you've talked to 1,000 hours people can. really like take notes and be like oh.

this is they they really know your [ __ ]. oh I'll get notes at breakfast I'll be. eating somewhere and somebody know like. hey man I could tell kind of how you. were feeling just [ __ ] that we like [ __ ]. I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] know and it is weird. because like do I want to have this. exchange with you right it's sweet but. it's like you know do I want people to. come to me and be like so how's your. daughter all the time like I don't I. almost like I don't want to talk to you. about my daughter you know what I mean. you might not want to but then she's. also probably super I mean I know you. sent me those pictures she's so cute.

yeah man God that must be cool. huh she just loves you you know you hear. it you all you know what it's supposed. to sound you know what it's supposed to. be you know what it is you heard. descriptions of it you have it you know. everything it's the best thing ever it's. hard she's my best friend you do. anything for your kids the reason I live. the reason I breathe you hear it all but. then when it happens to you you there's. not words to describe it wow so you 40 I. had her 20 months ago and a thing I I. feelings I've never felt imagine having.

a new feeling after 45 years 45 years a. feeling I never felt in my life is. unlocked and it's the deepest feeling. that I've ever had in my life and I love. my family and I love my wife what was. the feeling it's a feeling. of inexpressible. pure happiness and joy that you feel. like you. are floating in the air and it and and.

it's overwhelming you cannot process it. yeah you can't believe it you can't. process it to this day I can't believe. she exists every day I wake up and I. take a deep breath and I look at her I'm. overwhelmed I've never not been. overwhelmed looking at her I've never um. I've never been able to process my love. it's a it's the love is so strong that I. can't. understand it it's it's it's tough man. it's it's it's it's it's insane dude. that's awesome it's and it's just there. you know it's just there and it's not.

going to go anywhere oh and uh I had. gotten to some deep some Dark Places. really dark did you feel like it was. gonna like that must have been shocking. because you said that it's not going to. go somewhere was there yeah like [ __ ]. dude just to think that I just to think. that I will have her uh you know and. then my brain is such that then it gets. dark like oh then one day I'm going to. I'm going to be gone and she's not going. to have me I'm not going to see how the. second half of her life plays out and. then I go to depression and it's I have. I'm working on this there a weird thing. where I could be like something so good.

and then my mind wants to go you're. going to lose it though oh it's one day. it's not going to be that or what okay. so then I'm not going to know uh this is. this is deep but like I'm not going to. know then how her story ends oh isn't. that crazy just to think about that I. the air I breathe is for her and then to. just think that like she might have a. good. 40 years on hopefully 100 years on this. Earth with with post me that I don't get. to know I don't the thing that I care. about most in my life I don't get to.

know the end of that. there yeah so it's like this dichotomy. of like this deep deep it's such a deep. love but it sends you because like if. you get if you let yourself go there. yeah it's kind of wild man right but. that's also kind of a creative and you. know it's a uh. it's a deep thought and deep thoughts. are you know depth has darkness in it a. lot of times you know the deeper you. want to get into stuff the more Yeah the. more that can be in there but wow I've.

never even thought about that it's like. if watching your favorite it's like you. it's like your favorite movie but you. don't get to see the half you know right. and but you got to make the movie though. oh dude it's it's like nothing you've. ever felt man that's crazy yeah I the. feeling that you said that it it's not. going to go anywhere that's that really. sent me man because yeah think I didn't. realize until you said that there's this. feeling always inside of me that. um that it's going to go somewhere you. know that it's not.

uh you know that it's not no like it's. not reliable or something I think it. even goes back to me like not knowing. how to you know you got to check in and. make sure people know you K all the time. sure yeah yeah and it's it's wild that I. get to wake up to I wake up now at like. 700 in the morning every day like or you. knowbe 8 but like but I was never a. morning person you know I was never I. was a bartender I'm a comic like I I'm. not that guy and like and I wake up and.

I so here's another thing I remember. what it was like to feel naturally. organically truly feelings of Happiness. MH you know whether it was just a. general feeling or whether I got good. news like this feeling that would. emanate like a like Joy like Joy like. pure though right you're all you're a. very joyous. guy but I lost that like and and for a. while I got like you know I was. depressed and I I I I I I would register.

that I was supposed to feel happy oh and. and I would say oh I'm so happy about. that but I would say but in that feeling. is not here I'm telling myself that I'm. happy and I'm happy this is great news. or this is oh that's wonderful or I'm. excited you know but this this thing I. used to. have where it's like you you're walking. around like with a pep in your step and. you're cheery and it's it's coming out. of you like it's coming out of you. you're emoting it like uh it's it's.

beyond you your body you're you're not. in control of it you're happy right you. not that you you you now lived life and. you know oh this is good news I'm happy. I'm supposed to be happy but it's not. the same no and I stopped feeling that. how what happened dude it's amazing. you're saying this is exactly how I feel. a lot of times I look at old videos of. myself I'm like man that guy was so. happy right and and I would get really. sad about that because it's like I have. no reason not to be happy I I have such. a wonderful um support system family. friends I have so lucky in my life to do.

what I want in my career I feel blessed. I I I every day every day I know how. lucky I am I take nothing for granted. and so why why then do I not feel that. and um but the odd thing is is that I. can feel viscerally. set ah I imediate access to sadness. immediate. access and I didn't used to it like. flip-flopped and if I wanted to sit here. right now and talk to you about. something sad I could bring up something. that's sad to me and in one minute I.

could be balling and I could and I and I. feel it like I feel it emanating but the. happiness is kind of like I had to. either work at it or just like accept. this new version of happiness and with. my. daughter is free again. it's more than it ever was uh it's crazy. to um to have someone pull that out of. you and it's it's it's it's it's uh it's. at the ready and it's just Limitless.

it's like I don't need anything anything. it's like it's I don't need to access it. if I hear her voice if she walks in I. look at a photo of right now something. happens to my body. like that's cool man yeah yeah yeah even. if even if we don't I get we could save. this and you can give it to her one day. you know yeah I I I didn't mean to get. into this you know like I know that you. you know it's cool with you like I know. you go everywhere on your podcast and. stuff no it's I hope your listeners are. cool with it like I just if if if we. keep it in like I just uh I know it's.

not all not laughs but no it's okay yeah. I it's dude to see that somebody how. much somebody cares about their kid you. know yeah I think it's yeah it. makes yeah cuz it's funny that's where. I'm at in my life I think I'm like could. I do it like would I be able to be okay. you will you know like they say is true. everything they say true you you never. know you think you're ready you never. you will never be ready yeah something. just happens man you you don't know if. you could do it you don't know if you're.

ready will you be a good this will you. be a good. that that happens naturally immediately. immed you you you it's it just something. a switch. flips and you it's not could you do it. it's I want to be the best at it you. know it's it's you the doubt is erased. the doubt is erased you immediately like. you thrive off of it you know like it's. it's it's it really is purpose I mean. all those cliches all those trite things.

that people say but it's true you know. it's like I thought I had meaning and. purpose and I doo you know I I I I you. know like I said I just I'm so lucky and. I even like people are unfulfilled in. certain areas but I'm lucky I I love my. job I'm a comedian I want to be a. comedian since I'm a little kid a little. kid is all I wanted to do and I didn't. even start doing it like this until very. late in life and I I'm so lucky that I. did it cuz I I could imagine I could. have never done it it's all I care about. you know like so and I so I always am.

like blown away every day that I am a. working. comedian like wait my dream came true. like it's wild to me cuz you could be a. comic too and it's so hard to like stay. the course and then to get by and make a. living and all that stuff you know and I. really don't think what is the. percentage of comedians that get to that. level like that can say this is my job. you know what I mean like I don't know. but like I never. would believe it and so that's so I feel.

like I have a purpose and I and I and I. and I love my family and like I'm just I. I am very um self-aware and reflective. and everything but like then when I had. you know my daughter it's. like it's like uh everything just melts. away like it's like there's just one. thing that matters it's it's so. fulfilling and uh it's a source of joy. and energy and and and just the love the. the the love is a different level of. love and so it's like it's not like oh.

I'm afraid like oh I you know I hope I. don't [ __ ] this up it's. like it's the best thing that's ever. happened to you you're going to honor it. you know what I mean like you you die. like you become a new person yeah yeah I. mean I. am I am I've had I as late in life so I. feel like I was I'm always getting I'll. never be you know always getting in. touch with yourself and and learning. more about yourself you know but I did. have a so late in life that I feel like. I you know to say like if I had a kid.

when I was 25 or 45 I know who I am more. so in that respect I feel good about. that uh but um but yeah yeah yeah. because you have a new title you have a. new job you have a you have a new. purpose you know and uh and. it's so beautiful because e everything. that this that she consumes how she. learns life how she.

learns what life is about and who people. are and who she is and everything from. just her brain developing and learning. words and just to emotions and the. things she observes and molding the. person that she becomes and wanting to. give her do better than you you always. want to do better and do better and you. know and you know I'm I'm always like. trying to you know we fail but trying to. better myself and like she just like. it's like on you step on the gas you. know what I mean like like everything I.

do I run through the filter of her. everything now like I I mean like it has. nothing to do with her I say will this. if if my daughter saw me doing this if. my daughter saw. me working on this or talking to someone. like this or speaking like this or. handling myself in this way like will. make her proud you know set an example. for her and so like I just like I I walk. around thinking of that all the time now. and it's really great it's really great. to hold yourself to a standard which I.

did before but like I said this is a. deep new level and to hold yourself to a. standard but but want to do it and be. proud to try and then be proud to and. then succeed at it you know like and. know oh I I'm right I have an Integrity. Mak you feel like I I'm big on Integrity. man I my whole life and so as a guy who. has always been on like my word I give. you my word I'm honest like I I U I'm. I'm not I try to be genuine I don't. [ __ ] I I can't stand phony people I. don't like you know I just I don't I. don't like people that aren't kind you.

know like I'm just very I don't know. whatever my my work everything I do I. try the hardest I can I kill myself with. that [ __ ] but like um so so being a. person like that already to then have. the marker be her and how that how the. person she becomes and who how she. thinks of me what's going to her. perception of me that's the highest and. so it's like it's like the Super Bowl of. like Integrity you know I mean and uh. and and it's and it's a wonderful thing. it's not a hard thing it's it's a gift.

it's like a gift you know this Probably. sounds so corny to people I don't think. it sounds corny at all dude and it's I. know everyone says it and I probably. just sound like I just realized it but. it's like like I said it's just. different when it happens we never talk. about it on here I don't have a yeah I. never really talk about like to friends. about their about kids or anything like. that and it's just funny cuz it's a. place that I'm at in my life now and you. know wondering how that'll look and it's. just funny how like God kind of puts. things together and is like oh well how.

about this why don't I connect you with. this awesome example of a guy who um. feels like he's got who's been bringing. Joy forever and found a whole new level. of Joy this guy made 300 episodes of joy. and now I trumped him with one episode. of Joy right right right you know yeah. it's a wild dude now it's out now the. episode never ends and there's no. commercial there's no commercial breaks. um oh and so your special is it's coming. out next week uh yeah it's great it's.

called terrified it's on uh YouTube. salvano terrified on YouTube it's on 800. pound gorilla's uh channel oh yeah. they're great man I made my first uh. album with them yeah yeah yeah so yeah. that's uh I'm super excited about it man. and a tour is is going on sale the same. day uh okay nice yeah I got a whole tour. for coming up I mean gez the next year. uh everything's fine tour tickets at. saano comedy.com so it's a big week you. know next week yeah everything so. hopefully people want to come see me.

hope people want to come watch it and uh. want to watch it yeah thanks for coming. and talking about that with me man um. yeah that's so exciting so to have a a. big tour heading out um right on the. back of the special launch and and it's. your this your first special yeah it's. my this is my first special not my first. tour but like to come out together it's. like. it's like a big like hold your breath. day you know what I mean like cuz it's. been a long road it's a long road for. AED to get to his first special it means. so much you know how you know I remember. your first Netflix one Oho people are so.

ex when you yeah when you get a chance. to do your first special it's like yeah. I'm doing this I dude I worked so hard I. mean I know we all do it's just like I. was in this Zone you know never mind. that it's like 10 years of whatever the. material but like just the last like. ramping up to it the last six months I I. spent hours on it every single day for. like to the point the day after I filmed. it I felt like I was going to pass out. because I like I can't believe I don't. have to think about this thing oh yeah. getting meticulous with stuff you know. like the every little thing you know. getting it like that and I and and.

everyone that worked on me with I just. want to say thank you because they did. such I had a huge team it's they did. such a good job I think it looks really. great like I just it's just it just I'm. really I'm I'm proud of it you know I I. hope you I'm anxious because you know. like you get like people that just they. don't care they they ha going to hate. you no matter what you know but I I it's. very it's personal you know um and uh. yeah and then the tour launching with it. I hope it like I just I'm just hoping. for for big things you know like St you. know I just cuz I'm yeah you know I just.

want to go ahead like I just want to be. full on standup and and you know like I. said I'm lucky that we got another. season of the show and stuff but you. know after that this kind of like what I. you know what I'm jumping into but it's. been tough touring nonstop you know with. the show but dude this is just like I'm. I'm I'm really I'm just psyched so. thanks for having me thanks for let me. talk about it and stuff yeah no it's. huge man I mean that's like oh yeah. getting your first special um man yeah I. I know uh we just realized that your. time we got to get you out of here yeah.

my flight board is in 17 minutes I. didn't I didn't mean to run out like. that I could have talk to you for. another two hours dude yeah same same. here man we can um I'll have to come up. and visit you guys please and uh and um. come and come over the come over the. house have dinner and stuff yeah I'd. love to man I love you man I love you. buddy I'm just happy I get to spend time. with you today dude this is just I told. you I texted you I was excited to so. excited to see you you didn't disappoint. I always love uh catching up with you. bro thanks man same congratulations on. your first comedy special thanks bro you. started off a comedian you still are man. and thank you for all the years of. entertainment Sal volano appreciate you.

now I'm just floating on the and I feel. I'm falling like these leaves I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of my life. found I can feel it. in my. bones but it's going.