Sal Vulcano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #395

i'm excited to let you uh hear this. i will be in savannah georgia june 2nd. i'm coming this week. augusta georgia june 3rd. montgomery alabama june 4th and over to. columbus georgia june 5th i'm very. excited to be there and see you guys. as well. hollywood florida fort myers florida. daytona beach. and lakeland florida that's june 23rd. through june 26th tickets on sale now at.

theovonn.com. t-o-u-r. don't go through a different vendor. go through. the theovon site so that you can get. them. uh. correct because otherwise these people. jack them up and they jack you. over today's guest is um well we're not. going to go too much into his history. when he and i talk. because most you should know him you and. if you don't know him i'll just tell you. now he's from impractical jokers the. television program heading into its 10.

number 9 or 10 season. and they've just um. i mean it's a it's an american staple it. really is if you if you. don't like it your cousin does or your. grandmother does. and um. he's part of that group him and three of. his friends and um. he's a buddy of mine i almost went on. his cruise a few i did go on his cruise. shoot i just remembered and forgot i. went on as impractical joker's cruise a. few years ago. uh he has two podcasts one called hey.

babe with chris de stefano and another. one called taste buds with joe derosa. i couldn't be happier to sit down with. anyone ladies and gentlemen mr sal. volcano. [Music]. [Music]. i'll sit and tell you my story.

[Music]. [Applause]. [Music]. trying to get better man been leaning. back into my sobriety program so that's. been helping me okay and how how's it. going. it's good it's starting to feel good.

it's just taking a while where do you. where do you do that you know. um here in l.a are you oh yeah are you. back are you you here now are you still. i'm back and forth okay so yeah i got me. a house split it uh yeah i would say. it's probably split yeah you got to go. there like 51 like 183 you gotta legally. be there it's almost like. having to be in that in two places it's. almost like whenever you see that. baseball player and he has his foot on. the back yeah like waiting to steal yeah.

you start to lead and then and then the. irs kind of checks the bag. dude that's exactly what it's like. so. it's definitely like relaxing there. people are so friendly i get to have. like a whole new walk of like so like. socialize and immediately people. feel what it's like to be in a smaller. environment. um your move there was your first move. there right like you weren't that you. weren't familiar with it but friday no i. didn't know it's kind of i can't even.

believe i did it i i mean i know i. wanted to save tax money and then. i always wanted to live there. so it seems like a dope spot i love it. every time i go yeah it's fun it's it's. just you know it's not la or new york so. it's just it's just smaller yeah yeah. are you limited though. with. being able to to work out and do spots. and stuff like that um. oh yeah right because you got zany's. that's it. and there's no likes produced there's no. there's no like bar or produce shows or.

anything like that at all there may uh i. don't think there's a big scene so it's. just zany's yeah so when you're there. for like weeks at a time are you just. going to zany's every night and just. popping in you can't really do that so. you can kind of go. they have an open mic night or i'll do. my own night okay um but it's like kind. of yeah it's uh. that's the tough part is keeping the. comedy going right during the pandemic. it didn't matter because a lot of places. weren't open anyway right so but this. keeps you probably sharp especially the.

one that you do when you just do it. yourself. yeah that i think that helps i i mean. for me really comedy i got to be on. stage yeah yeah. um. i got to be i i learn about this. repetition yep yeah like some people the. more they write the stuff and if it's a. good but i gotta be up there feeling it. yeah you write stuff down or no ever um. yeah sometimes yeah if i get my friends. to laugh sometimes yeah yeah you know. i'll write out like the. like the big beats but like then if i. haven't done what i'll do is if i.

haven't done the pandemic i went back. and transcribed everything yeah. because it was just easier to get back. into it after that long you know so i. was like i have a reference point. anytime i blank because i was getting. back up and missing whole chunks oh. that's the worst yeah so yeah the worst. is like the other night i did a show and. i got to the end of the show and i. almost wanted to run back out there. because i forgot to do one of the best. bits. [Laughter]. so i want to apologize i think that was.

i think that was in midland texas man i. owe you guys a good joke. um. but yeah is it hard to separate like uh. do you find a tough time like doing. stuff for your show and then like. getting into a different brain for. comedy or not really nah i haven't. compartmentalized you know but what. what's kind of gets tricky is like when. i'm on a tour with the guys and like i'm. doing my tour right now through february. so uh but i can't i usually don't tour. at the same time. i can but like really it's for like.

because i can't sell tickets in the same. market. for both tours right so if one of them. goes like if we're usually they take. pres the big one takes precedent right. and then when that's kind of through. i'll start mine or at least like six. months into it i'll start the dates that. was six months before it so it's like a. rolling thing but since the pandemic we. didn't have our fifth tour written yet. and i had mine so and i had to cancel my. tour from before the pandemic so so now. i've been on tour the whole year and we. don't start with them until february so.

that we're gonna start writing that now. that's stressful too because. we don't do right comedy the way that we. would individually so uh we got to do. this like whole different process but. they'll put up the sales the tickets. before we even have a joke written so i. get like massive anxiety pressure this. is like the fifth tour like over 10. years that that that's happening every. two years when we're in this phase i get. i get like. chest pains like it all all the stress. manifests itself yeah i got like.

shooting pains in like my head and [ __ ]. oh dude i've had that [ __ ]. ekgs this that and like stress and it's. always this time oh because it's so. nerve-wracking to have people buying. tickets to a show that you haven't. written a joke to yet can you imagine. that it's like i get like nauseous yeah. yeah well i mean it's i think it's nice. because it says something about that you. want to show up with something. legitimate for people yeah you know you. want to actually show you know some. people wouldn't care that it's like yeah. sell them whatever i'll get out there. but you gotta juggle yeah i know i know.

but. i mean you know it's different too. with other people oh yeah yeah yeah i'm. sure that it's a totally different. energy out there um yeah i know whenever. you said you came in you were taking. your medicine you said you just started. taking one. yeah i started like i guess it's got to. be at least six months now oh wow. wellbutrin uh and you've been on there. how well butrin is that gangster baby is. it you told me that i didn't know it's. the hitman of freaking real i think. i can feel that [ __ ] climbing up and.

down my cerebellum at night bro really. scaling the walls yeah well future baby. damn that [ __ ] you've tried you've been. on it that [ __ ] keeps a hatchet on its. hip baby. for me it did well butrin i i was doing. i got i started doing kind of some weird. like a little bit of like. not weird stuff but. i like couldn't i wasn't doing good i. started spinning out yeah but you feel. good on it. yeah well i was spitting out before. really. yeah so i i talked to a couple people a.

couple people i know were on it so i so. i was trying to tackle two things with. my doctor one was the anxiety and. depression and the other one was my adhd. and ocd. so he's like. both of those ones could affect the. other in some ways and we got to treat. one at a time so because we gotta. figure out what what you react well to. and not so he's like which one do you. want to tackle first so i'm like i've. been living with adhd you know in an ocd. forever yeah so like i i didn't even. know. i didn't even know i had it until people.

started telling me oh no and then i and. then i realized like oh you don't have. to live this way like i didn't even know. that before i just thought it was like. normal to not remember anything to have. [ __ ] racing through my mind at all times. you know what i mean like all that stuff. i just that's the way i always can't. focus on anything but i just like it's. the way i've always done it so i just. just do it and just function with it. right you thought this is who i am and. then i had a really good friend tell me. like that he had all that stuff and he. gave me a book and. i didn't read the book.

but he was like i'm telling you you. don't have to live this way at all so i. went and i got a i went and i four years. ago i went and when he gave me that book. and i said forget i'll go i took a test. you know and i would they put me they. put like straps on my wrists ankles and. head really yeah and head yeah like like. like that straps like hold me down but. like uh bands. right did you ever take that you have. you have anything like that adhd or. anything i don't know i don't think i've. had it i could have it though yeah. i don't know so i went right so i go in. this little room they sit in front of a.

computer. and they and they say all right take the. mouse and they're like you're just gonna. for like 20 25 minutes you're gonna sit. in here and you're gonna watch a screen. and when you see like a shape click on. the shape or whatever like some real. rudimentary [ __ ] yeah so i was like oh. yeah well guess so they put the [ __ ] on. me i went in there 20 minutes and i'm. seeing a triangle i'm clicking a circle. i'm clicking and i'm like this is the. easiest thing and i started to get. worried because i'm like i'm acing this. right like they're going to tell me i. don't have this [ __ ] right and i'm i'm. here because i'm at my wit's end with it. and they're about to tell me i don't.

have it. so i'm just clicking and clicking i'm. like i'm dominating god i thought i got. a hundred and then they came in they. took the thing they took the print out. they came back to assess and they go you. have severe. adhd severe wow so i don't know what the. test really was i don't know if it was i. like measuring my fidgeting but i don't. know how that's in the i don't know how. it works i should have asked but so then. they tried to give me uh what's that. stuff that like hyper focuses you oh uh. ritalin no no the other one.

oh yeah ritalin for adults us um like. it's like uh it's like speed. yeah it's crazy it's like uh people. snort it too yeah it's like it's like. very very common i don't know why it's. blanking yeah why can't we think of it. it's like um i think it starts with a um. what a yeah i think it starts with a. dude do you do i don't know what it is. anybody. adderall. adderall. damn. they gave me a time release adderall 20. 20 and.

milligrams whatever it is it's like the. game it's like a game show with drugs. just now. it's like that uh what is that uh okay. uh blue pill. it's like wouldn't that be crazy. that's the future dude why viagra i know. the future's just a game show which is. people just. all the answers are drug names just. trying to win the drugs yeah over tracks. uh go on though i interrupted you man. and they gave me that and i said you. know i don't really i don't really like. taking. any kind of drugs for sure i mean i.

smoke weed but prescription and he's. like all right here's what we do take it. down days you think you really need it. that's it like not to just take on daisy. so i waited and then one day i had a day. so i was like let's try it i took it it. was the worst experience it was it was. terrible dude on adderall. yeah uh i stayed up for two days i. didn't go to sleep two days and sweating. profusely for two days and you get. dehydrated too on it that's the crazy. thing dude i so the whole the first. night came. and i was i was like wired all day and.

then my lady went to sleep and i was. like i'll be to sleep in a little while. it was like the stereotypical thing i. stayed up all night clean the house was. scrubbing [ __ ] it was really. stereotypical like yeah and then i and. then i started like my heart was beating. on my chest i was. pouring sweat i look like i just i was. jogging i was just in the house and i. woke her up i'm like this doesn't feel. good man and she's like this is insane. you know whatever but then she had to go. back to bed. so but then i was like oh that's love. right there. yeah.

no she's like you want to go to the. hospital i was like no and she's like. what do you want to do i'm like there's. nothing i can do i was like i'm just. going to keep cleaning i don't want to. do a puzzle. i want to open a business. right. and then like all right. wake me up in an hour bro my friend. sometimes i'd be so coke down and i'd. have him around i'd be like bro you. gotta come spend some time with me he'd. come over and he's like uh you're. probably gonna be fine dude wake me up. in an hour.

was it comforting just to know he was. there i don't know because it's just. talking about his body then i started. tripping in circles because i'm like i. just finally started to fall asleep i'm. like [ __ ] i gotta wake this dude up in. an hour. now you have a chore now i gotta stay. here. he came there and gave you a. responsibility now i gotta stay up to. wake this [ __ ] creep up. yeah man but then i thought i was gonna. fall asleep that night uh-huh didn't and. i'm like all right someday the next day. i'm gonna crash i didn't.

i stayed up through two nights damn. you're like sully sullivan. or whatever that guy's name is that the. guy went to the plane yeah yeah. dude will not crash. it will not crash. that's funny dude no i i i i took two. days it was a time release formula. apparently. and um and then i never took it again. and then like like when i was getting on. the world butcher i was talking to my. doctor now who who i trust way more who. is like my childhood my i went to high. school with him so. trust him and um.

he was like whoever gave you that gave. you the wrong dose the wrong kind the. wrong everything he's like that could be. effective for you but not in that way so. we started he said let's start with the. anxiety and depression because. you know that that was really pronounced. coming out of the couple of years that. we had and all that stuff like that and. i already lived with that i already. just had that yeah from growing up yeah. yeah yeah yeah so so uh yeah so so i. started with the wellbutrin i didn't. feel nothing but he said it'll take a. few weeks and and now i feel like kind. of adjusted to it yeah and i you know. it's hard to it's like not a magic pill.

they're saying it's hard to sometimes. discern because it's not like i'm. bulletproof now no i still like. you know sometimes can't get out of bed. yeah or still like you know i wake up. and go to bed to my mind racing and. worrying all day long about [ __ ] oh yeah. you know but um but it is definitely. better it is it was yeah yeah it's. almost like i can kind of like. it's not as frequent and not as severe. yeah if that makes any sense yeah i feel. like it kind of puts like bumpers on. thing it's like yeah you're still. bowling and the balls just to every ball.

still going right in the thing all. morning but there's bumpers on there. it's like the sound is softer it doesn't. hit as heavy exactly exactly right yeah. they kind of take away the symbols you. know yep um so yeah but i didn't know it. was like you said it was. for me it was crazy i remember i was. trying to decide on something to do and. i got into some like loop and i couldn't. get out i couldn't make a decision and. when i would make a decision my brain. would serve the same issue back to me. like i hadn't made a decision and so.

yeah just that medicine i had a bad. reaction to so right now i'm just on a. low dose lexapro right now. i so i took that. like a few years ago. and same thing low dose every day that. was my first try of anything and that. worked i felt that work kind of pretty. fast but then it. it affected disappeared yeah yeah. sexually no good oh. well see thankfully i've never been. really great sexually so it's like i'm. [ __ ] you know i'm like yeah i'll take. the pills dude.

i'll put a pill in the end. i'll take the wiener laws you know what. i'm saying dude i paid down 700. milligrams of zoloft right to the head. of my people. you know it's just. but dude i got on zoloft could we take. medicine that way though. oh like people take suppositories like a. subpoena yeah subpinator yeah that's not. crazy he might have just invented. something. dude. last thing we want is dudes slipping off. and stuff and pills up their wings.

that's because it doesn't exist yet i. don't think you know if you want it yet. yeah you're right what if they you know. they're not stupid the people that make. these things yeah what if they make it. amenable. what does it mean. like it's just you know it's it's. it's not that bad it's it's you're okay. with it you know like yeah oh wow it's. agreeable you know what i mean yeah and. then all of a sudden like you just gotta. like just. hey i mean i don't know how that's. easier than putting it in your mouth but. what if somebody's hanging fun burned. yeah. it's a little more of a game show yeah. what if somebody your hands are burned. or something you're at a bar and you.

have to have your buddy stuff one up you. know that's would be a problem hey donny. hit me with this yeah i would switch. back to oral yeah. did you ever do have to do suppositories. when you were growing up yo i i remember. them. i don't remember if they went up me but. they must they must have because they. went up my sister i know that cause one. time my sister was real little she was. like three and like my mom was trying to. give her one and i forget why i don't. know when we were sick i do a bit on. this actually about how they used to. take our temperature up our swimming a.

little too yeah yeah which is [ __ ]. wild right now they have a laser gun. yeah you know and they used to stick. that [ __ ] up our ass like i don't. understand what they were getting at. like it was more definitely more area 51. back then right yeah like i was like i. don't know why my word to this woman. that i don't feel well isn't good enough. yeah well feel my forehead you know yeah. but then they'd be like no let's let's. let's stick this up your ass against. your will. and really get to the bottom of it let's. really get that temp you know like he. feels warm but i want to know to the to. the decimal so let's shove this glass.

right up his anus. penetrate this sick [ __ ]. we'll never know if he needs a cough. drop it doesn't make any sense you know. what i mean. can you pull up suppositories let's see. let's see some informational. suppositories here i'm interested about. that i hadn't thought of it in a while. but when you said it an immediate memory. came back to me that i hadn't had in. forever my mom's trying to give my. sister one and you know when you're. young you know it's medicine but my. sister's crying you know she didn't want. that you know it's just weird all around. it's very weird right and so i remember.

being like getting that defensiveness. from my sister right and i was like i. was like leave her alone you know like i. was like she's like two or three years. younger than me and i'm like stop she. doesn't want to do it leave her alone. like i'm breaking up around. like i'm breaking up something something. like making up for sex crime yeah. and i remember telling your mom i was. like when i was like stop she had to. change i'm like no and then my big thing. was i kept going like coming out the. doorway and shutting the light. so then it went like pitch black and. then she like stop it and she put on the. light and i run back and shut the light.

like i'll save you. it's like it's like dude that's the. person practical joke did. you're like suppository but no lights. oh man what they create and how to use. medicine can get into your body a. suppository is another way to deliver a. drug small round or cone-shaped object. you put in your body often in your. bottom. what about the history of suppositories. i mean give the history of them but who.

who said. let's put this up your ass instead of. just like swallow this well because i. think they didn't know maybe. they might not have had as much science. as to how quick things need to get into. your body maybe that. or that they could get into. because i know the s one of the colons. like will really absorb stuff real fast. oh really yeah because i think they pull. all the vitamins and stuff out of your. body right. so that's what they're doing with food. like they're really you know they're. really it's a royal rumble down there.

and they're pulling out all the vitamins. so i think they're like oh this will get. the quickest into the bloodstream okay. okay. you know it's um sometimes you see uh. someone they trying to tell you. something you don't know what they're. saying. and that is because they are speaking. another language. and you might not realize it because you. don't know what's going on well babel. is the language learning app that sold. more than 10 million subscriptions. it's an addictively fun and easy way to.

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king henry ii was wounded in a jousting. accident his body could not retain fluid. by mouth his doctors used a rectal. suppository to keep the king alive. ass to mouth bro did they well he just. said by mouth oh yeah the rectal. suppository. which is very. unorthodox yeah i don't know what really. is that about like we haven't i don't. even know if there was just a a rectal. suppository i and they tried to put it. in my mouth i might even say you know. what just correctly.

i don't want that in my mouth either we. have to swallow so fast for it to get. down to your butt anyway. some let me see in 1897 glycerin. suppositories in 1897 cocoa butter. suppositories began to be mixed with. water. gelatin and glycerin for easier. insertion at the end of the world war ii. suppositories began being made with hard. uh fats. the whole point was to make this. depository experience easier and more. comfortable. yeah well i got that there was a meeting. and someone was like let's throw cocoa.

butter in there yeah you know like a. nice smooth fresh smelling inside oh. it's like a little it's like a it's like. going to maui for your butthole. uh it's his internet let me look a. little bit more here suppositories. um. the benefited fathers were known long. before the 21st century but low quality. capsules and liquids have given rise to. the demand for suppositories why isn't. it called a depository. yeah depository huh right. because that's where you really that's.

where you deposit right. yeah. it makes sense i don't know what a. suppository is here's the here's where. here's our fact that we need she's like. i suppose this may work. [Laughter]. we've been saying it wrong the whole. time it's just suppository it's like it. goes nothing. yeah. well you might die but i suppose we have. one last thing to try. dude it's like. that sounds like something that uh.

like um that sounds like like if you. only have like a cheap insurance it's. like. this guy. it's like yeah uh. oh hey hold on here's this last thing um. you got some magic beans when a liquid. or capsule supplement reaches the. stomach stomach acids will largely. destroy. the nutrients through the digestion. process after the digestion process less. than 10 of the capsule or liquid.

supplement will be absorbed in the. bloodstream. um. [Music]. so if you swallow yeah if you swallow. through the stomach acids so they. thought dang we're gonna beat the. stomach and go straight to the butt okay. wow. so. oh that's the big one how long do you. keep a suppository in. oh i thought you just put it in and. forget about it. like a crock pot. you know okay. i thought you just put it in and it. dissipates it melts i think you gotta go. back and get it wait wait wait wait wait. then my confusion on what's going on.

here you better you have to go back you. better because they're like lost they. gotta go back. and get it you better call your sister. she might have a couple loose in there. that we i didn't know the process. i thought it was like you put it in and. then it just like when you swallowed. something you forget about you set it. and you forget it. if you use one more cooking term. wow dude no i think you got to go back. and get if you pat your sister on the. back does she rattle a little.

we might we all might have a few in us. that we don't just banging around. so then i really don't know how that. works oh you go half inch for infants. and one inch for adults. oh there's a tool they use to do it see. once the suppository has completely. melted. you can expect a bowel movement within. 15 minutes to an hour. oh so how much oh so you gotta. but oh so maybe you you battle it out.

you know. but i don't understand what do you what. are you taking back. what are you getting back what's this. you get back the shell. like shell case like the bullet yeah. i guess. so are you not just putting the actual. pill in your ass or whatever it is like. it's not just a pill that. will then just like look how we take. vitamins or whatever right okay but yeah. that looks like i guess that's the way. that it transports it it looks like a. little bullet yeah you know so you. popping shells out there yeah damn.

well. well. did you ever think that you'd be on. medication. were you against it or you just never. really gotten introduced to it the right. way same yeah yeah. i don't know you just. this i just look at prescriptions just. like. peop it's just [ __ ] up like the world. we live in is [ __ ] up by prescription. medication you know the commercials like. you'll [ __ ] die probably or maybe so. it's like all right just do i really. maybe i'll just be depressed a little.

bit and then maybe not have. diarrhea and maybe you know however yeah. yeah are your teeth falling out yeah no. something like that can you can you if. you can't stop putting on hats it's like. what yeah. it's something forever it's crazy. because a buddy of mine uh couldn't stop. putting on hats really yeah and he was. he was driving he was going nuts with it. so. he went and got that no i mean i you. know dude a buddy of mine oh you are. yeah you know i have a friend who just. couldn't stop. putting on hats yeah for sure.

that was a medication for it i wouldn't. be shocked. or you know some type of attention. disorder or something all right. you know i didn't know how a tampon. worked for a lot most of my life really. yeah because i never really saw it in. action yeah just like the bullet you. know which is great yeah and what what. that you hadn't seen in an action. it's fine no there's no need you know. there's no need but i remember one of my. friends blew my mind because i just.

thought you put the whole thing in there. and then you know that's that yeah but. no that is also just the receptacle that. bullet hmm. did you know that. like do you know how that works i never. really thought about it yeah i guess. there's a retrieval process huh yeah i. think that you. you put it in and then you that plastic. thing it's in i thought that used to go. in there yeah it that just comes out of. the way and it's just like a little like. like cotton ball at the end of a rope oh. yeah. wow. so it's not as uh.

it doesn't sound as. it sounds a little more simpler it is. simple right yeah i thought there was. technology too yeah i thought they. really had a real like uh almost like um. like those braces or somebody that has. like a bad jaw you know i thought they. had a little bit more uh of a template. going on there yeah me too i thought it. was like you know those nails that you. put into the wall that they they once. they go in they spread out so they can't. come back. i thought like you put it in there and. the plastic like opened up and i was. like and that's what kept it yeah it.

shuts it then you have to pull it with. the rope yeah yeah but it's not it. literally is just like a cotton ball at. the end of a string. it should come with a little sign they. put on their leg it's like go around you. know or like uh. seats taken you know. they should be like. like uh almost like uh uh what do you. call those china what do you call those. things a fortune cookie. just a little fortune on it. winning numbers just make it fun you.

know because everyone it's already tough. you know when that when that thing comes. around it's already tough it's cramps is. it. i would hate it i would hate it oh if i. had to have it thank you. imagine if every once a month you ate a. really bad chicken sandwich dude and it. wouldn't leave you for like a week yeah. i can't imagine it and it got to say it. got lodged into your bowels and started. flapping its wings dude yeah. that's what's up that's what i heard. it's like oh my friend's daughter used. to work at a chicken.

my friends owned a chicken sandwich. place and his daughter used to work. there and she told me that one time and. it blew my mind she told you that. she goes imagine if he had a really bad. chicken sandwich and then he got once a. month and it got lodged in your bowels. and started flapping its wings. i was like wow yeah and she her father. owned the chicken place so. so they have you know that's. that's good knowledge i feel like um. right you know she might have first-hand. knowledge of a bad chicken sandwich.

right and she's like this is exactly. what it's like oh wow. yeah that's a good way to describe it. dude i had a buddy who bit into who ate. one of those subway uh. i had a friend who ate a starbucks. sandwich mm-hmm and he couldn't ken. can't open his eyes he's in like a. lawsuit actually can you look that up. man can't see after a starbucks sandwich. or something like that you made the. paper huh your friend man no oh yeah i. mean i'm sure there's got to be. something on it.

oh all right but he he hadn't been able. to see since he had this [ __ ]. sandwich. that's the most insane thing i've ever. heard. what did he what's which sandwich. there was something that vex face staff. what do we have here. i think it was the impossible one. i mean it's. apropos. yeah that's a good point if you put that. in the title though does that cover you. he said like anything can happen with. this you know don't. you you're not going to believe this but.

i know it's going to sound impossible. but there's a chance you might lose your. vision. no i mean that's i mean. starbucks your your buddy's going to be. like. your buddy's going to own starbucks. he might own one or two i don't know how. much they cost to do the uh thing to do. the um. what's it called when you give them out. but you make people pay for them. the businesses you give them out or you. know it's like um. oh franchise franchise yeah okay he he's.

gonna get a franchise out of it i don't. know. people sue i mean look there's been. there's certainly been people that have. had things happen and what they wanted. in the lawsuit was the actual business. it was actually yeah yeah like that. seinfeld episode with jackie childs he. gets coffee spilled on him and they give. him free coffee for life and he's like. i'll take it. that's wild man. but yeah mandy um would you. which sense would you lose if you had to. lose one got to be smell right let me. think. yeah i already can't smell that good so.

i would probably do sight would be so. hard man you can't right. you go in sight or sound first if you. had to choose. sound. you you'd lose sound first because you. could always just. guess what's happening. yeah and you could use you could sign. language yeah or guess the sounds. okay. you mean like if you saw a band. you'd know like the sound that was. making yeah and also if they suck you. can just play your favorite song in your.

head. well people like are very capable that. are. deaf you know like they live normal. lives right because blind people do too. but yeah i think i would lose. i don't know man that's gotta be so. [ __ ] tough but smell could smell [ __ ]. it right i mean like i would just be. like take the smell yeah take it i know. someone who was born without a sense of. smell. it fascinates me they never smelled the. thing. yeah isn't that like mild yeah it's. unbelievable kyle who's to work with you. think it helps him or do you think it.

makes things does he seem different you. have any more intel on him he. i know him so he's i would never you. would never know it ever until he told. us. and uh he was born that way like so he's. never smelled a thing. and you know you wouldn't know it but. like i don't know i guess in that way. you don't know what you're missing. yeah i would think but food can't be as. good it's because it's. things that are a sensory experience you. know like. he doesn't experience you know if you if. you just took a shower and you were.

cologned up or something like that yeah. are you just your natural musk yeah you. know your pheromones he might not even. fall in love with you and you might have. the best hormones out there oh my god. because pheromones go through your nose. i think. can you look that up please sir. how do we know about pheromones. but he's never like you know coffee in. the morning or bacon cooking or. garlic for a spaghetti sauce or. something like that. now bacon cooking breakfast cooking that. would [ __ ] that would hurt a little man. when you know that somebody.

gave a [ __ ] enough in the in the house. to heat up a damn grill when you wake up. that way it's like already a good day. you're like. that's those little things he's never. experienced isn't that wild yeah. best smells. best smells i think definitely something. cooking and you're saying something like. with garlic that does smell good. bacon smells good breakfast smells good. bakeries. do it past the bakery i want to punch. somebody in the mouth.

[Laughter]. carnivals i feel like have a smell like. when's the last thing you went to a. carnival oh i went to one oh dude i'll. tell you this i went to one uh a while. back and they had the roller thing or. the spinning wheel. went through they had a bee's nest up. there dude so it's just. it goes around what do you mean. like a ferris wheel the ferris wheel no. way. there was a business on top no not on. top of the thing but up in one of the. trees up there so every now and then no. way sat the [ __ ] oh [ __ ].

that's hysterical that's terrorizing. dude because you know that guy ain't. stopping you know it's like you used to. play stuff yeah you remember when you. were a kid you went on you like please. stop they didn't stop that [ __ ]. i think that dude. screaming. he was like that chef from the muppets i. don't think that guy had any. he had no senses and remember the um the. the spinning around one with the um. gravitron remember that yeah i wouldn't. [ __ ] with that one i can't no no i can't.

you did oh we're like your centrifugal. force kept you on a thing that's so and. then it would lift up and some of them. would tilt and [ __ ] to me that's. there's things that are fun like i'll do. a scrambler oh you know. scrambler is what i could do but that. just spin around and just see your whole. equilibrium get like i didn't see the. point of that whatsoever and that's the. one where people would throw up and just. it would spray everybody and you ran. that risk if you went on that and i saw. that. i saw that often you saw that often oh.

yeah there was one there's the outdoor. one but there's then there's the one. where you go it looks like a ufo yeah. and then you ain't getting out of here. there at all you know what i mean like. yes the guy in the middle was always. playing rock and roll oh yeah and this. dude was all perved out dude and he. would get his [ __ ] wiener out bro and. you couldn't help but look at it so he. like had you trapped in like this like. weiner vision kind of did you think like. maybe because you were going so fast you. just caught a glimpse if you're like. maybe i'm just seeing something totally. yeah so this guy's tricking everybody. yeah so he's a perfect job for him. though.

perfect job instead of having to be a. peep in time you're just bringing them. all to you right you know and it's just. a blur and you're like was that was that. his was that his. and then then you get off you threw up. you don't even you know you're just too. sick to worry about yeah there was that. other one you remember the one i think. it was called like it's called different. things but maybe like the avalanche or. something so it's you get in a cart. right so me and you are sitting together. two maybe two behind us okay and then it. goes in a circle but it goes up and down. in a circle it's outside and there's a. dj it's at all like like the old school.

ones. full of avalanche can we see what we're. seeing here brother and and it goes in a. circle but it goes up and down in a. circle and it starts going faster and. faster and they're playing like you know. hip like jukebox hero and they're. blasting it and it's so what happens is. the person on the outside gets [ __ ]. crushed. but you're laughing and then they do it. in reverse you never did this one. this is like this is a this is a very. popular one the avalanche yeah this is. it. oh no that not that one.

it goes in in a circle the zipper oh. about that right there see that see that. one right there to the bottom down yeah. that's it maybe it's i always thought it. was something like the snow snowstorm or. the avalanche or whatever oh that's the. uh. and all these things are always under. the shadiest llc's because. okay these things are just a way to see. how it goes up and down like the. himalaya the. yeah damn. that thing was fun i would do that one. that himalaya daddy damn i remember um.

[Music]. they had um the zipper was the scariest. one. and people would damn i mean just people. would be vomiting up ejaculate i mean. people were just getting so sick on that. and rattled. i know i don't know. oh yeah see i don't i wouldn't do that. here oh that's when those things are. flipping and sliding so it's three. things right it's going around but then. those things are sliding themselves and. then the individual pods are.

circling oh yeah so it's triple it that. that to me i don't i don't understand. that i don't even understand how anyone. would want to go on that yeah because. you don't have any there's no real sense. i don't feel like of joy it's just a. total sense of hey [ __ ] you yeah endure. it yes you know what i mean like that's. what it's like it's like hey endure. exactly it looks like it would be like a. you know a. torture trap or something like that yeah. it's very. it does have a very german vibe to it. um you hear you know you know when you. go to a carnival and everything they.

just pull up with like the trucks and. they open them up and they start. building that [ __ ] like in a parking lot. like those like not like six flags like. those yeah those are those are crazy. shady you said like the llc's and the. people running them are just. drug ad like guy like stoners just. straight stoners and like i've seen one. where the truck was like losing balance. you see them on you could you to them. all time like that the avalanche like. you see it like almost gonna and the. people jump on it to weigh it down. people are saving people all the time oh. you see like they're on the swings and. then you just see someone launch.

now how does that not close the swings. down for life. like the guy tried to light his shoes on. a plane. it didn't even work yeah 20 years ago we. take off our shoes right now people are. being launched from those swings like. every few days. there's no rules because look i think. like. i think there's part of you that wants. to see. that's for you i think if you get thrown. on that thing you want to almost get. thrown again to see how far you can go. you want to beat your distance you're.

dead yeah you know you are dead google. what percentage of people die from a. carnival accident. that's a stat. oh yeah you know what percentage of. people die out of the people on the. earth. it's gonna be low or people that get. into the accidents you know what i'm. talking about brother how often did. someone get into an accident on this. thing. yeah like how. how likely are you to get into an. accident on this. zipper. i don't know how we can even do all the. math i guess yeah it would take a lot i.

would love to see the stat. damn man. but carnival rod accidents occur more. than we think oh there we go um i don't. know if that's true. i think they occur a decent amount um. when i was uh younger we went to the. giant stadium it was usually the. meadowlands mm-hmm and uh oh yeah was it. cool they had a meadowlands fair and it. was the biggest one in our area bar none. all new york. oh i bet a lot of hotties huh oh yeah a.

lot yeah. summer months. yeah but they they would like really. like it was big too they set up the. whole thing yeah but they would have. cool stuff like i saw a baby get hurt. but not so my friend and i strong baby. though like frankie edgar yeah. like frankie edgar about his size and uh. i love frankie dude me too i uh dude i. had a frankie edgar was in my dream last. night i never realized yeah as a baby.

i mean if he was he was pound for pound. the best baby out there i'll say that no. as a result man i love that guy as an. adult no i love him too man um. that's so crazy some of that anyway go. on go on no no my friend was throwing uh. softballs like legit softballs like to. win some some [ __ ] i forgot what what he. would but oh no i know what it was it. was a baseball and it was like they put. the glass bottles on the shelves and you. could just launch them and try all. plates. and what happened was. the he he threw a baseball as hard as he.

could but it hit the wood. underneath the thing and just came. flying back at us at nearly the same. speed and we moved and it hit the ground. popped up and went right into a carriage. right into a baby carriage oh mom my dad. you just heard the baby screaming and we. were like oh my [ __ ] god and we just. like literally like like just. like abandon him yeah wow and that baby. now is adam frazier who plays for the. seattle mariners guys he's a second. baseman and he's doing well i hope that.

i don't think the baby got like mauled. but like a baseball definitely disrupted. its flow in there. and then it was screaming like you know. crying i don't know if it got like. clipped or anything but well i'm sure. every time it sees like a solar eclipse. it can't help it go like that. anything round come on dude yeah even if. you just whisper take me. i'm sure you can't get a suppository in. it after that i bet it's a little tight. buddy damn but they had weird [ __ ] like.

they used to do also carney stuff. the meadowlands so it's like you know. you so what it says is like pay a dollar. okay and go behind this thing oh yeah. and see the church the wolf man or the. world's smallest horse i met i met the. world's smallest horse tom thumb. a couple years back i might be able to. pull that up on my instagram maybe. somebody can and send you the link it. might be it's at the bottom somewhere. where'd you. meet him he was touring in um.

i guess um out there. out here somewhere california riverside. thomas is has a surname. tom thumb yeah. so i guess he does yeah i don't know was. he a great horse so how was he i mean. bro as far as horses go he was how. miniature. he was he had to be this big wow. it blew my mind. is that him right there. no that looks like a pig and [ __ ]. but then they kind of uh glued some hair. on his body huh that's a pig isn't it.

thumbelina horse wow. also a thumb name a miniature horse it. could have been a sister of her then or. a brother of her well they had the. world's smallest woman now i don't know. if she was the world's smallest really. couldn't check that out at the time but. i paid the dollar yeah and uh it was. kind of wild. i went behind the thing and behind that. like the truck like was the sign on it. like meet the world's you know and i. don't know how i feel about. the whole thing yeah i guess she's. making money right she she might maybe.

can't get a traditional job right so i. guess maybe she found a niche maybe she. has a family in the in the carnival. world like now you know she travels with. people it's social and she's getting. paid hopefully well but it did feel. weird to be like pay money to see this. you know because. the the the the the air around it is. that it was like a freak show in a way. okay i see what you're saying you know. what's kind of the original only fans it. feels like yeah in a way you're right. that's the just the like literal like. mono only like the the the lo-fi only. fans yeah.

it is. it was a dollar yeah and it was a dollar. it's a fair and once a year for and what. a better deal you got. once a year you paid you saw you kept. the image with you throughout the year. you weren't really i remember this lady. right this second wow and i saw that her. like 30 years 20 years ago 25 years so i. went behind it and behind it she was in. like the. cut out of the trailer and inside of it. they made it look like a home. and she was sitting in a rocking chair. knitting.

yeah she was like that big. oh. yeah. and what age was she she was looked. older she looked middle-aged like an. older woman thank god. why. i'm just glad she's had a life you know. like they're not out here like you know. just height trafficking or something you. know. you know she's got you know there's like. seven others i wanted this understudies. you know. you know because what if she gets sick. that's a revenue stream that's not gonna. shut down dude angela's sick.

yeah man but it wasn't like dwarfism. unless it was but it was like but she. was like it wasn't like you know we like. that it was like she was like that big. yeah and she was sitting in a rocking. chair like a you know a miniature right. it look because i'll be honest it looked. very cozy and like oh like they made it. look really cozy like she actually. i wonder if she actually lived there now. i'm thinking about it she might have you. might like she might just be like. she might like they might close the. front and that's just her house because. it looked like a house in there let's. pull that up world's smallest woman can.

we get some information here brother um. i'm trying to think of the yeah the. horse i saw was so small man you could. i bet it would be kind of nice to be so. small because your parts are right there. imagine taking a nap when you're so. little it must feel so good i get that. but in reality how far is your hand from. you like you you have you have. everything right there too though look. how far. you're imagining like this like that oh. hey buddy. there's just less time.

it's just like yeah how quick you can. get a snack into you okay oh so yeah i. mean there are there's pros and cons to. everything like kevin durant probably. takes him a little over a second to get. a snack into his mouth you think yeah he. probably he's he hasn't experienced the. joys of the world's smallest woman. no. and to be able to just to open a peanut. you put it in one hand and then punch it. with the other. i never thought of that. oh so funny just like punching peanuts. at because it to her it's like. yeah the peanuts like a almost like a.

circus peanut oh yeah right yeah. there you go yeah okay. omni that's not who i saw but is an. indian actors for being the world's. shortest living woman now i guess are we. saying shortest are we saying smallest. because there's a there's kind of. something different there. they i think from what i gather my. memory serves they said smallest okay. and this woman two foot three quarter. inch.

how big is that wow. that's like what this woman was though. wow yeah so she might have just not. entered in the contest. there's no. there's no s. swimming ever. um i mean even a shallow end is three. feet. that's true huh there's no i mean. there's you have to. can you swim is your i wonder if you can. swim. with only that much propeller you know.

what i'm saying kind of yeah but think. of like a chihuahua chihuahua can it's a. great point you know what i mean yeah. that's true i gotta say nothing though. who makes the clothes too ooh pervs. probably or they get them off dolls. i was thinking but like. you really think they get them off dolls. we had a small guy or school and his. daddy would get clothing off of some. dolls for him once in a while yeah. you know when you run a business it uh. time seems more precious. every misplaced moment feels like a.

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uh alone. try something. this past weekend listeners get 10 off. their first month at. t-h-e-o that's better h-e-l-p. dot com slash theo. i mean some dolls you know they have. some like i could see it on some dolls. well dolls have a lot of nice stuff. these days here we go right here play it. up get that volume out. everyone can meet the world how long are.

you going to be here today for uh. he'll be here all day. how small is he de las grandes. de kansas ls mas. [Laughter]. you may want to take him home. did you go in oh yeah i went oh he. wouldn't let you take the camera in. no. oh wow that's ip i guess he was so small.

man god i still remember him. how do you yeah you seem like you said. oh i don't know if i feel sad i guess. that's nostalgic it was a fun day at. that fair. though smallest woman can ride that. smallest horse oh beautiful and and they. probably are in the same fair so. maybe it's like she's trotting around on. that thing i'm sure at night they meet. up dude i remember one time i was in. iraq doing a military show and one lady. hit me up on social media and uh offered.

to meet me in a blackhawk helicopter. and give me a um. blow job give me a little bit of oral. and uh. and i didn't do it man i got just too. nerved out you know it's a unique. scenario for sure yeah and i just didn't. know what protocol was i don't want to. be some dude. who looks like an insurgent or whatever. yeah you know because i have long hair. yeah so i just didn't want it this lady. was on the clock this lady was a. bonafide military woman really oh yeah.

now did she think the [ __ ] offer in. and of itself wasn't gonna be enough. like why did she sweeten the deal with a. black hawk helicopter she just said the. flight is uh. the flight thing isn't secure tonight or. whatever so we could meet up in a. blackhawk and i'll give you a [ __ ]. but you weren't gonna take flight. no no no no no maybe in here you were. yeah maybe in my head dude but yeah no. but and uh and also i remember this is. this is the part i feel worse about kind. of is this she had a huge either a.

animal had bitten her on the neck or a. huge acne a huge one acne okay. and uh i was just like. i felt like it would almost be a game. show what was gonna bust first. [Music]. i can see now where the hesitation came. in yeah you know because but if there.

were if that wasn't there would you have. been blackhawk down on that oh yeah yeah. yeah that's blackhawk now that's her. version. she uh you know if the goiter if the. quarter wasn't there you would have had. that experience because that's almost. hard to turn down like it would take a. goiter or something like that to to to. thwart this experience i should not have. turned it down. god what an idiot because it's a good. story that it was offered but it would. be an amazing story got it i know.

i think i was just so i didn't know if. we would be what if we got caught and. then i'm giving a bad look to this group. there was just some other implications. and dude some other lady don't if you go. over there for the military dude. somebody will they'll do sex with your. brother men or women. because they had people i mean out on. their morning jog stopping by to see. what was going on another lady tried to. come by and have sex one time. they must. like the single. single people in the military.

must. bang each other like there's nobody's. business they must because they know. they're only gonna be there for a few. years you know. i think it gets kind of territorial. though i had a friend of mine marry a. sailor that came in for fleet week what. yeah i used to work at this neighborhood. bar and we were on the water in staten. island and every year the same week all. the sailors came in and they would. invade the town you know would they wear. their uniforms full-on they know what. they're doing they bring it up sailor. uniform they would wear the uniform.

because. first of all we we give them a lot of. free drinks because thank you for your. military yeah and then they and then the. chicks you know they pick up and even. the female officers would come in. like you know and everybody rhymes yeah. yeah yeah and they would all wear it. well that definitely is from party city. we are members of. the young yeah that's part of when you. look at a real military uniform. and uh yeah this girl i knew uh just. started dating this guy they ended up. getting married. wow like that or like oh there we go no.

white in the whites okay. let's see a white military you know the. difference there you go like that on the. right the top right over there that's. what they were calling. with the hat too. i swear. yeah yeah they had dude oh and they were. coming packs. so like all of a sudden like 50 10 10 or. 10 sailors. men and women yeah yeah yeah but they. sing songs no. week yeah that's a week dude bro. remember the cruise we went on a lot of.

sauteed spinach really yeah no no oh. that was a popeye reference that didn't. land. remember him. oh. hell yeah remember live action popeye. though. yeah robin williams play popeye diddy he. did the voice he did he didn't do the. void. live action yeah like a real film i'm. talking about the cartoon can we get. that cartoon of popeye. yeah but but you've never seen robin. williams play popeye.

with uh chelly duvall as olive oil never. dude it is a classic. i never knew this existed and i cannot. wait look at his forearms oh it's great. oh wow. yo this is one of the tapes i played. till it broke when i was like oh. dude i'm so excited to watch this i. didn't know this existed i didn't know. the head there you're going to like this. man he fights a giant squid. yeah. yeah when i was little like popeye was i. don't think kids know popeye today no i. don't think they know about it in popeye.

also who did the voice for popeye the. cartoon there you go there he was. yeah. [Music]. and you know because that was like the. original gi joe was popeye yeah like. people don't realize that that's who we. pop eye out i had popeye on the video. game too. i don't think we had that but we had. papa's chicken in louisiana so. everywhere is that is that yeah is that. him it was oh it was because you used to. get the figurine if you went over there. to give you the figure really so that's.

his fried chicken i don't i don't get. the connection. yeah. uh the sailor and the fried chicken i. don't get it i think they just i think. they had named it pop pies and then. retro retrofitted the tim they might. have. let's uh so jack mercer did the voice. there for popeye the sailor. can you get the youtube of jack mercer. doing that voice or well that we won't. be able to use it. you started to say something when i said. popeye that i i was like oh [ __ ] yeah. our cruise we went i went oh right on.

right on right on yeah they just had a. cruise issue was that thing in the news. too let's. let's i want to hear this jack mercer do. the voice can we see him do the voice. i ate spinach because of him. i didn't like spinach i didn't like. veggies you know and i wouldn't eat it. and my dad would be like. one. and a two. and a pair of threes the votes are all. in. well. whether or not something of the voice. would create through there and it worked. out beautifully number one mr goldwater.

i don't think this is it you do. south amboy new jersey plan no he's not. this used this as a question you think. no i think he was he was on that game. show that was to tell the truth so for. those people are like lying about who. they are once telling the truth it was. old game show oh so he was the. contestant telling the truth as the. voice of popeye. hmm. do we have jack mercer does voice of. popeye. i just wanted to hear it again. i wish i could do that voice. yeah wouldn't you do voices if you could.

all day oh i'll do this. see me tell me who this is okay. they said it would take a man 600 years. to get out of the sea of prison but andy. dufresne did it in less than 20. yeah. that's a little weak today but no that's. that's that's morgan freeman thanks yeah. that was good actually thanks man i. closed my eyes for a little bit of it i. i see where you were going with it if. it's something you don't do all the time.

i i felt. there was something in there yeah yeah i. don't do voices though. um you don't i don't i wish i could. we had kyle dunnigan was on he does him. really well you ever do voiceovers. you ever get in the animated show um i. got offered two animations such a good. voice oh thanks man you have a strong. distinct voice with good diction thank. you yeah you do that's easy that's very. easy to tell i do i uh i. sal sorry i don't know why i called you. i i didn't say saul i said sal sol.

some people say both sometimes. so it's salvatore it's sal sal the only. person that calls me saul thirty percent. of the time after no one for ten years. is dave attell. and i don't correct them because it's. dave patel. so some night some south some night some. saul. but are you ever sal. saul now because that's almost spanish. like with salt they say like or salima. or salad do you have that jack mercer we. couldn't find it. okay no worries man dude we went on um. thank you we went on your cruise man.

yeah and the cruise line just got in. trouble what was that news. you came on cruise one. right it was cruise one. celebrity cruises sued. yeah we got celebrity cruises sued uh. the medics gave hiv infected blood wow. yeah why do they have hiv infected blood. then. you know why do they have that on them. and on the cruise. a celebrity cruise's passenger says her. medical emergency came an absolute.

nightmare they gave her blood. transfusion from someone who had hiv. dang that's bad luck. seven day cruise that started december. 4th so winter time. [Music]. and she says doctor. diagnosed. gastrointestinal but she started. suffering from rectal bleeding that's. why she went for help. what's going on there what's going on. there suppositories dude i'm telling you. yeah that's how probably.

and this could have been one of them. because of some of these cruises man. it's a lot of people out there doing. pills and doing sex yep. uh announcing staff solicited blood from. passengers over the ship's pa system. said they needed type a negative. uh that's my type it is swear. that's my type yeah. you know yours is that song about blood. what is that. um this woman says four passengers. stepped up to donate blood and she got. the transfusion wow.

and someone stepped up to give blood. with hiv. like yo what the [ __ ] is that about. like they didn't know either they didn't. know. i mean that's a tough call this whole. thing there's a lot of people at fault. here yeah and sometimes it's like if you. at the if you're i remember when we're. out on a cruise we couldn't even get. fresh milk so it's like you sometimes. you're out there you got to take what. you can get yeah especially if you're. going to die was our cruise your first. cruise that you were ever on. no i went on this thing called semester.

at sea it was like a floating school oh. wow that went around the whole world. actually. around the planet you how long was that. it was 100 days. i knew and we i went i was a student i. worked in the book shop. on the boat yeah. how old were you i was 19 years old i. know i was 20 years old so it was like. college yeah it was college. they still do it it's called semester at. sea and you go. and have you spoken about this before. i don't know if i've spoken much about.

it i've never heard you really that's a. very. that's a very interesting crazy thing. you did it was crazy bro you know so. where did you go we started in vancouver. canada. and then we finished in florida we went. all the way around the whole world you. go around everywhere and you went to. class had homework yeah and then also. worked like your life was did you dock. yeah we would die how often did you dock. and you were able to five days or three. days or five nights or three nights we. would die okay japan china vietnam.

malaysia kenya brazil we went cuba dude. we did it are you serious yeah so let me. ask you a question what was the. breakdown of like how often you had to. do schoolwork like did you did you were. you able to maintain your focus and your. studies too or was it just like come on. now like everybody just like phoned it. in and it was just like caligula on it. no you couldn't phone it in you had to. like it was pretty the the teachers were. pretty harsh okay so you really had to. really do it you know so you really had. to do so you did you went to it was what.

was your schedule like was it every day. every day class started i think at 8 00. a.m or 9 a.m i can't remember. every day it would alternate except for. days when you're in port so when you. were in the port you could go do stuff. and travel and do whatever you wanted. you just had to be back when the ship. left or you could use the ship as hotel. and stay at hotel. okay so okay so you would you would also. have the option to go get a hotel off. the ship yeah for the days because i was. about to say how could you live for 100. days and not get little in a little like. cruise room like that. yeah it would be crazy you had a.

roommate in there and um wow. it was wow if you don't like your. roommate yeah. you're stuck. how was your roommate oh my roommate was. great dude my roommate was a great guy. ryan thomas you talked to him to this. day. he a few years after the ship he passed. away man he was doing basketball he went. to. some school up in the north california. mountains like that weed school what's. that weed school up there. chino or cheapo cheeto uh.

not cheeto it's like. it's like a place where the kids all do. weed and everybody's growing weed and. eating weed people are made out of weed. people have little weed dolls and stuff. voodoo dolls even made out of weed it. sounds fantastic yeah i mean it sounds. like he died of a heart attack because. it was so amazing yeah. so anyway r.i.p brother so anyway he. passed away but um the cruise was it was. an unbelievable experience man i mean it. was just cr you know you were just you. could get two wines a night you got. tickets for wines and they'd have the.

bar open you get two wines at night. but we had a guy on there that died bruh. during the cruise yeah this dude died we. were at sea for like 12 days or. something something happened he died and. they put him in the freezer. yeah. man i've heard of that so they put what. are they going to do with them with the. pork loin baby. that's. crazy how he died. huh you know how he died i'm not sure. was that like. did that. were people just like oh [ __ ] somebody. died or were you like oh my god.

like they said someone just died a. student died and is in the freezer oh it. was a sec this guy was a senior citizen. oh okay because he had a couple see. about nine seniors on there going to. college on the cruise yes some of them. were like old man that's like it's it. takes somebody to be like i'm gonna go. back to college as an adult is one thing. that's already tough then to be like i'm. gonna go to sea for a hundred days. that's great. so he just died he couldn't hang bro did. they give him an honorary. uh discharge i don't know if we like put.

him into the sea like they did with um. osama bin laden i don't know what they. did. i do remember we did a funeral for him. one day. whoa. i remember we did a funeral and people. dressed up and. we put flowers out into the um ocean and. stuff and the crews did a big circle. like that it was like a. oh my god i forgot about that crazy dude. i wish i knew his name mark i think in a. hundred days you could have multiple. relationships like did you have a mini. life within that hundred days yeah like.

you got new friends knew this new that. like you know what i'm saying oh yeah. there's people from like different. countries on there. it was crazy bro what made you do that. like was that expensive i'm fascinated. because i never heard of this yeah it's. called semester i see it wasn't that it. was ex uh i it wasn't that expensive man. i mean i worked and save up some money i. had to spend like 6 000 of my own. dollars so yes that was a lot of money. yeah but i worked you know to to do it. and then i got financial aid from my. school so that applied to it okay and.

then a friend um the i got a scholarship. from the school okay itself from the. semester at sea wow so i was really. supported you know. i definitely. you know i was grateful that people. helped me oh yeah man what would what. did you major in. i don't remember oh um. urban planning. really oh yeah. that was your major back then. you had the wherewithal back then to be. like i want to get into some urban. planning urban planning dude where are. you going to put that mailbox huh son.

right really you want to plant like help. plan cities like infrastructure yeah is. that what that is uh it's more i think. it's like where do the medians go you. know yeah i think i know it is sure if. you have a male if a mailman needs to. come into town what route does he take. to make the least amount of time so it's. effective okay power lines oh traffic. patterns yeah [ __ ] like that grid. patterns yeah yeah a lot of different. planning man some are i guess i'm a i'm. an urban planner you know did you. why did that strike you as interesting.

like why did you why did you latch on to. that i think i always used to walk. around a lot of neighborhoods and stuff. so i think i was really kind of. fascinated about that. i liked people's yards. um. i liked looking at what it was like if. people had a yard or didn't have a yard. like what people's lives were like. like rich people have yards you know so. they have like space between them and. like people knowing what they're doing. sure for poor people it's just like. [ __ ] people just don't know what. you're doing. you know what i'm saying like.

if your mom rears back to to hit you. hard enough she's gonna [ __ ] a. passing car is gonna hit her on you know. so it's like you can't hide it you know. so i don't know stuff like that kind of. fascinate fascinated me and i always. like love the us postal system when i. was young it's going downhill yeah but. when i was young what'd you major in. finance oh really yeah just because i. didn't know what to do like i had no. idea i started college in 17 and they. asked you to pick a major and i was. literally like i want to make money. finance means money yeah that's.

literally how i chose it i was like. finance has to do with money i want to. make money i'll do finance i have a. degree in finance did you have was money. like a big influence with your parents. like make money were your parents. business my parents and my family had no. money and i just was like i want to be. successful it wasn't like i want to be. like rich i just was i just want to make. sure i. make money you know i can support myself. yeah and that was how how simple that. decision was it was like and i don't. mean simple like easy to make i mean. simple like simpleton yeah i was like i. want to make money so i'll check finance.

and then i did it. you know i don't know why i took that. yeah i had no interest in him at all wow. yeah you ever see yourself going back of. interest do you ever. of course you don't see yourself going. that's the dumbest question i'm about to. ask you do i ever see you getting like. one of those like kind of like little. advisors. [Laughter].

[Laughter]. yeah i don't know man i don't know why i. did that it was a while besides the. people and besides the relationships i. forged college for me was a complete. waste. complete waste i retained none of it it. was it was expensive i got a scholarship. too but did you were you uh a smart kid. what were you were you like a nerdy kid. were you like an athletic kid were you. just kind of like neither i was like. italian i did.

i'm half italian are you yeah yeah yeah. i had to italian half cuban and puerto. rican oh wow spanish yeah please. yeah right so no i was good grammar. school was like straight a's high school. was pretty much like low a's but with. not a lot of application so that was. good you just you can't you could do it. and then i just was like fun yeah i. wasn't like a super i played hockey for. for in high school for a little bit but. i wasn't great i played like my i was.

like signed up and i played you know. basketball baseball and grammar school. was bad yeah it wasn't good. you know i tell this story about me and. my uh so that our school got a. basketball team for the first year and i. was in seventh grade and if you were in. eighth grade you automatically were on. varsity and then or something like that. and everybody else had to try out. so we tried out i wasn't good you know. but i tried out i was good in like my. neighborhood you know when people came. in and had like skill sets you know i. mean i wasn't good right and so. everybody made varsity and everybody. else who didn't make it automatically.

you want to play you could and that was. jv and then the coach for jv we didn't. have one and so my friend's mom. volunteered and she volunteered and she. just was like learning basketball with. us. and then we used to have it was like it. was literally like the like like the. like the molly crew of it could have. been a cartoon it was like all those. castaways on this team. and we used to have these these these. practices and she used to have a. clipboard like the dry erase clipboard. and just be like go this way you know.

like. our first game we played 14 games that. year we went owen 14. our first game uh i was like watch we're. gonna play these kids that are. definitely like these kids are all gonna. be from like urban areas they're gonna. be like sure enough every kid on a team. was six foot and uh we. and they like played basketball black. basketball was life for them as opposed. to us they they beat us 44 nothing. 44 nothing dude and then after you'd. line up in the middle of the thing to. kid hands and like then go get a snack.

upstairs we used to play at the catholic. huge organization with the cyo yeah so. it's a cyo league so it was all the. catholic schools right so we would say. thank you but at the end of the first. game it was traumatizing dude at the end. of the first game the parents were so. into it on their side yeah right and. they were screaming and yelling and. everything and then at the buzzer. the parents started to chant 44 zip zip. 44 zip 44 and they just came down off. the stand they were screaming it and.

waving [ __ ] and while we were trying to. shake hands they were getting our face. like 44 zip zip and then we had to go up. the steps together to go to like the the. like common area to have like our capri. suns and we were going up the stairs and. they were screaming it was bellowing in. the hallways and they were screaming at. 44 zip zip and i was like damn man it. was traumatizing damn now we scored. points in every other game. but we never got shut out again but we. went on 14 the second game 56 to three. we lost i had the three points you did. yes. and then they still did the we still.

were part of the awards dinner. we were part of the awards dinner at the. end of the season. dude. he is the worst part of it i was the. team's mvp. i swear to god i accepted the award i. got up and i took the trophy in front of. everyone you get to at the dinner you've. had to pay to be there i had 16 points. on the season. total total yeah 16 points and i was mvp. praise god is that great but did it give. you some confidence though no really. really really knock my confidence down.

just game after game just 14 games of. burying my confidence in the last game. of the season we didn't realize we. something happened with the universe and. we were like landing shots we were. sinking shots and then at the buzzer we. we huddled up and our coach goes. look up and we looked up and we were. winning it was like 14 13 or something. and we went we just looked at each other. like we're winning we're [ __ ] winning. we lost. but it was like that was all like that. was like our big moment like our rudy. moment like at the head look up.

yeah. we had no idea we were winning you know. like here's a question right here from a. beautiful young fella right there thank. you brother. hey sal hey theo big time fan of both. you. i just wanted to ask about sal's like. school life we never really heard much. about his child life and i just want to. know what was the worst thing you. probably did in school. damn school life. um. i wasn't bad in school i was the class. clown were you but respectfully oh you. know i was like i was a likeable i.

didn't like push. it wasn't never disrespectful right you. wouldn't even do anything mean the joke. i was always there with the joke always. there like to get to laugh no matter. what i said yeah which sounds. stereotypical but that's what it was. like always when we had school functions. on stage i would volunteer i i'd do. impressions of the teachers oh yeah like. you know all that stuff yeah um i used. to love the jefferson's one well the. jefferson's is my favorite show oh yeah. of all time and so it was syndicated. when i was little i used to watch it. with my grandparents i used to live with. them so i love it it just has a place in.

my heart so i would memorize the. jefferson's. uh like i would get like a pad and. feverishly write down like the things. they said the things they said. and then i would then i would memorize. that and i would. have an impression i would do george. jefferson and word got out in the. schools so people used to ask me like. third grade they were like the teacher. like all right if everyone's good at the. end sal will get up and do the george. jefferson scenes. so it was like that that was never. disrespectful one time i got in trouble. in high school uh we were sitting on the.

steps and this teacher she was a she was. a nutcase dude yeah she was a spanish. teacher her name was mrs degiulio if. she's out there and she's watching and. we know that she is i'm sorry but it's. all going to come out now we if people. know mr giulio and you should yeah and. she was like i think she was a bipolar. yeah uh i didn't know then though they. didn't have it then but i understand now. right without a doubt she was wow. because she'd be nice and then she she. would. flip out on you. and uh but we didn't know what it was so. we just thought like.

[ __ ] this lady yeah oh yeah totally but. then then you wanted you wanted to be. nice because when she actually turned it. was like you kind of got nervous because. she she had this look so one time she. was coming down the steps it was in. between between classes and we would. just mind our own business i was sitting. on the steps and she turned to one row. of steps and she was on land to come. down the other and she just freaked and. she went like get up and get out of my. way i'm coming down the stairs no and it. rubbed me the wrong way. i was like 15. i just turned around and. i said okay we're not really doing.

anything bad here so why don't you ask. us nicely first yeah and she was like. what did you say and i said ask us. nicely. and then she gave me uh detention and. she wrote it on there in quotes told him. to move out of the way on the steps he. responded quote unquote ask me nicely. which honestly is that really detention. like you screamed at me to get off the. steps so rudely and all i was asking was. common decency and then she put me in. the slammer. you know we had this lady beautiful lady.

in r.i.p she did die. her name uh everybody you've spoken. about on this podcast so far has died. really everybody i think i think it's. the fourth person you spoke about that. has died dude i think just the area we. were in it just. breeded you know people were gonna die. i hate to say that. all right i don't know maybe i have. something about death but it's like this. lady's name was um what was her name. she was principal.

um. short italian nancy woods was her name. and she was italian 700 italian you know. she was swamp water italian you know. what i'm saying she [ __ ] yeah you. know uh. she had. bay leaves in her calzone you know she. had just a little mix of things going on. and she um. she uh. what are we talking about. you. you. yeah yeah and getting in trouble asked. me nicely she moved she had bipolar.

yeah spanish teacher i wonder what miss. woods did. he must have done something i was going. to tell you she died. she did die. yes she died a couple years like a year. ago i think damn. she was cool. um. oh dude we had uh. we had this guy. mr coleman he would sleep in the trunk. of his car at lunch he would go get in. the [ __ ] truck really trunk of his. car and [ __ ] sleep in it like open. yeah open it up get in there he just.

didn't mind much that no one saw him it. just was like some weird habit he had or. something you know maybe something of. growing up he used to do or his family. did. but uh. we had another teacher mr lambert he and. he passed we had alcoholism. but he i remember one time i was. cheating on a test in his class and my. cheat sheet fell on the floor and he. walked by and he goes excuse me i. believe he dropped this he didn't even. realize it was a cheat sheet you know. just something. amazing it was absolutely. he like pardoned me yeah pardon me wow.

you dropped this buddy [ __ ] he was. cheating school he was the sweetest guy. you all cheated everyone cheated. everybody did. a lot of people cheated off me but i. also cheated too did you yeah people. would just be like when you had teachers. that like that they were like a loot for. whatever you just be like what do you. got what do you got for this what do you. got for that sometimes you get if you. got caught though oh man i remember one. kid got caught got pulled out of the. room and uh there was one point with. this eighth grade teacher his name was. miss dawson she was also a gym teacher. that became an eighth grade teacher and.

she was like a thick like short-haired. coke bottle glass like she was a she was. like the the the lesbian back then oh. yeah like she was. and you didn't want to mess with her she. was intimidating like at all times we. had that at all times and everyone. everyone was in line with her luckily. she was gone by the time i got to eighth. grade but she was doing a proctoring and. exam and she got someone and she took. this kid james out of my of our class. then he answered her background and she. grabbed him by the neck and pushed him.

against the cinder cinderblock wall like. that. dude no joke damn yeah man teachers used. to get pretty graphic man they used to. get on point they used to let them get. buck a little more that's nuts yeah for. our age my dad. my dad in this uh like. young young grammar school whatever had. a nun. like tell him to put his hands down and. wailed him on the hands with the ruler. right so my grandmother gets a call says. come down to the school your son is. suspended oh and he she says what.

happened she gets down to the school she. goes you son of a spider what happened. well the teacher he was misbehaving for. the teachers and put his hands out and. whaled him with the nun a nun a welding. with the ruler he took his metal. lunchbox and slammed her in the face. with it. my father did that got kicked out and. then my grandmother said she deserved. every [ __ ] bit of that wow and she. goes i'm taking him out of the school. you're not suspended i'm taking him out. damn yeah can you imagine. hitting a nun in the face with a metal. lunchbox. but retaliation right you know oh yeah.

which like in this day and age if that. happened in school right now the kid. would not even be. you can't in this day and age if that. kid hit her back after she hit him like. that the kid would be a hero yeah. the kid would be a hero. it's crazy how it's all set up now. everything is like um. and it almost doesn't even matter what. people do it's just what is recorded and. then shown yeah that's the even crazier. part yeah um there was so many things. different back then like we didn't know. she had bipolar we didn't know when kids.

in the class were autistic like we. didn't know anything it was just like oh. he's just weird you know like he just. he's just a little different or whatever. like but we didn't have these terms no. no everybody was i remember i've gotten. learning disabled for a little while you. know they they put me in there for like. um a little while when i was in third. grade. and back then dude it was you know. everybody was in that [ __ ] you know you. could run too fast you were in there. like right right i'm seeing people in a. wheelchair. autism people with no arms like it was. just like this crazy bunch dude you know.

um. i got i got asked if i. a couple of years ago i had a bunch of. people. i got i got a bunch of messages like. telling me about autism. some asking like asking if i have it and. and once out of nowhere i didn't know. like why. like i just like i i i it was like i. just saw a bunch of messages at once. that were about autism i didn't know why. but um i think like i think. it was right after i did an appearance. on uh uh regis uh not regis uh kelly.

ripa. and and at the time chris pratt was the. we did that we did press. [Laughter]. we were doing press and we went on the. morning show with kelly ripa chris pratt. was the guest so you know chris pratt. yeah you know him gnome i feel like you. might have for some reason i met he. invited me to be in a film that he did. okay yeah yeah that was oh yeah that was. yeah because i think we were gonna do. the. the cruise again. and you had to do a movie was that oh. yeah that's right yeah that's right i. want to get you back because you were so.

sweet on the first cruise oh thanks i. had booked it up completely and you were. like i'll just come on like i'm hanging. everything and yeah it was so sweet man. and then i wanted to and you know i was. trying to get but yeah anyway he's on. and he's in this movie the magnificent. seven that remake of that western movie. at the time it was just came out as a. blockbuster there was like an ensemble. cast of a-list morgan freeman's in it oh. no it was denzel denzel's in it right so. the night before i had cotton really. really really drunk. uh i don't normally do that but like i. just i don't remember what i was waiting.

a wedding night oh yeah so i show up i. am hungover with the shakes okay and you. have to get arrived at like 6 50 in the. morning and for the morning show right. so i get there and i'm trembling man. and i don't know what to do and i'm like. i can't go on i said can i please can. you please find an office for me to lay. down in and they did because we weren't. going to be on for an hour they took me. to someone's office i laid down on a. couch in someone's office just shaking. so. i'm watching the. the show on the tv and it's in the feed. right and.

then like so so at the beginning they. give away a prize have you ever watched. regis and kathy lee when you were little. but i know about it so every day they. take a phone or they just take a phone. call and someone in the audience and if. the person in the audience answers. correctly like them and the phone person. wins like a trip. or like something big every morning. every day oh wow so they're doing this. trip right so they asked the lady a. question and uh it's easy but she gets. it wrong right and then chris pratt goes. i adamware will give you the trip anyway. it was a vacation and then on air he.

goes what what oh i can't do that. because it's like law it's all. game show right right so then he goes oh. i can't and on air he's like oh i don't. know what to do and everyone's like oh. and then he goes uh. i'll give you the trip i'll just buy it. i'll give it to you and everyone's like. ah they went nuts right and uh it was. like so nice and then kelly's like i. won't do that to you like me and you are. gonna split the trip you're still going. and the audience goes crazy right. then denzel washington comes out next. and he's in the movie magnificent. magnificent seven with him and he comes.

out and. the first thing he says was uh he goes i. just i was watching on the feed he goes. uh what happened how much was the trip. and chris pratt goes like 5700 and he. goes. three ways i'm gonna go three ways with. you on the trip so everyone goes nuts. right so i'm laying that you know how. you always need stories on these things. yeah they want you to have stories so. i'm laying there like half sick and i'm. like all right i got an idea so i'm i i. have this thing i'm going to do in my. head and then i'm like i want to do. something else these things never go. well morning shows they like rush you.

through you never really get to really. make jokes you know so i was like [ __ ]. it so i had our assistant go to the. store get a pack of hanes t-shirts white. hanes undershirts and a marker. and i wrote i. in my own handwriting i wrote. magnificent seven on on the detains. t-shirt and i put that on. except for fun i spelt it wrong i wrote. magnificant savon uh-huh s-e-v-a-n and. magnificant so maybe we can't savon so i. was like i'll just i'll go out there. and i'll go out there and what i'll do. is they'll immediately see my shirt and.

be like oh what is that you know and. i'll be like oh i just thought that you. and denzel needed help promoting the. movie obviously they don't need help. right i'm like yeah so i just want to. support and help you guys any way i can. i know you need to help and then i. thought they would pick on how i. misspelled it and it would be a nice. joke so i put on the shirt. so we're behind the thing we're ready to. go out there i'm wearing this hanes. t-shirt that has marker on it says. magnificant savannah and they call us. out and we go on people are cheering i'm. waving right and we go to sit down and. right before we sit down the audience. stops clapping and i go i just won't let.

everybody here know just off the top i'm. not going four ways on the trip with a. woman. right i thought i would get a laugh. but they took me seriously it just. bombed and then kelly goes no no it's. okay we're covering it it's okay and i. was like well that was a joke yo then i. sat down to the interview and nobody. mentioned the shirt dude. nobody mentioned the shirt so i. and then after that i just started. getting autistic messages because i just. went like i went on like i came out i. was like i'm not paying i'm not paying.

for the for the trip and then i sat down. and my shirt was handmade and misspelled. and nobody mentioned it and then that. that everyone was like yo like they're. just sending me links. on autism. people like hey can you come speak at. our school. dude. that's bananas it's online too it's. online like you can pull it up. damn bro that's bananas man. i'm trying to think if i had like a real. good thing like that where i went on to.

a talk show. you you do you like talk shows do you do. when you do them because i always feel. like they do local news a lot yeah no. i'm good i i just i'm good i used to do. lo oh i used to do local news a lot so. yeah yeah right right from when you're. going to town yeah but i never did i'm. trying to think if i did i never did. like any panels like. a lot of comedians like once a lot of. guys quit going like the tonight show. and stuff like that you didn't really do. that much of that type of thing yeah. um. they always just want you to i got one.

coming up i'm doing i guess seth meyers. and every time i go on i just feel like. it just feels so canned yeah because. they ask you to they pre-interview right. but. yeah it's just a different experience. i'm sure yeah um. but i was just gonna accept right but is. he yeah he makes it easy yeah that's. cool he's nice yeah. yeah i'm trying to think of um there was. something i was gonna tell you about. oh you guys have so with y'all show uh. within practical jokers you didn't even. talk anything about it you guys have um.

[Music]. joe is not gonna be on the show anymore. yeah wow for now i guess right yeah. um would did they ever did they try and. think about bringing somebody else in. well they asked us what we wanted to do. and we just thought about like a hundred. different permutations for and just. landed on the fact that we didn't want. to replace him yeah because that person. would be. already shot you know like you kid's. hard to replace him so we just were like. let's just uh right now we're bringing. in a guest each episode to just help out.

with the like the punishment but it's. like people that we know that were. really psyched and interested to get on. uh you know so we've had like eric andre. method man uh jillian bell uh rob riggle. david cross. like all these like really cool guests. you know um and like we're booking you. know just and this we just uh. we finished season nine the last nine. episodes that we started before the. pandemic so those start airing and uh i. don't know when this comes out but. those start airing june 16th okay and. then in two weeks we've been writing. season ten and in two weeks we start.

filming season ten and we'll do uh for. the first time might we shorten the. episodes and we're going to do 18. because i want to kind of have six. months on six months off to do comedy. and stuff so we're doing 18 episodes. we've got 18 guests but then. check this out uh they're just in the in. the in there is punishment and we do a. cold open with them and a couple of. interstitials so they're like threaded. through the episode okay so they're like. anchored as the guest but in the middle. bits when we need four. we made it so that we can bring anybody. we want at all anyway so the idea at. first was like oh look we could bring.

anyone like from a comedian friend to. our family to literally like the thing. was we said the halal guy outside our. office yeah and we started doing that. like i brought my barber on you know we. brought like it just so because it's. like just a mixed bag you know yeah so. yeah so we did that and it's been fun. you know it's just a different energy. and stuff you know yeah so it's been. good so we started filming that in a. couple weeks wow yeah is it hard to stay. motivated with it as things get keep. going that much is it hard to like. not that you don't care about it but is. it what have you learned about that has.

that been interesting yeah i mean you. know the motivation's there you know. because it's it's our reputation and the. show's been on so long and you know i'm. never gonna i'm not gonna half-ass it. you know yeah. but um. we said we would do the show until we. like stopped having fun but it's just so. much fun yeah you know and and you know. our crew is another 40 50 people that. you don't see well we put them on a lot. now we put our crew on but like so it's. not just us us having fun like our we've. been with these people some of them for. 10 years.

so it's like this family you know so we. still have fun man we you know the the. pandemic made us have to rethink how we. did everything so we did a whole season. in a pandemic when we couldn't even go. up to anybody so that was fun because we. have to we're always trying to push and. change and evolve it and stuff like that. so you know so it's it's always a little. different each season like we don't just. go back and do the same bits we did like. when people describe the show they go. these you know these friends they put an. earpiece now to do and say what they're. told and if not you get punished that's. the most simple way to explain the show. it is yeah and it is like a third of the.

show yeah and it was a lot of the show. when we first started but in the first. season or two but really if you watch. the show. that is just one element of it there's. so much we create so many scenarios and. games and situations and like that. aren't even beholden to doing and saying. what you're told right right it's just. like that's the easiest way to that's. the elevator pitch right like so but. yeah we so we we you know we have fun. like like figuring all those things out. yeah yeah are you worried about not. having joe on there.

you know i was because he's just he's. one of a kind he's one of a kind he's. the funniest dude in the world and. and then like but it's like you have a. recipe that's working. and then you and if you remove a main. ingredient so i we didn't know what to. expect you know but you know because the. nature of the show whereas like we we. we are out there like we're always. switching who we're doing it with so. nothing felt foreign because i've been. out there mur just me and him i've been. out there with you just mean i've been. out there alone just me. so in that respect it didn't feel like. completely foreign um and then.

you know and then we were so focused on. getting the new formula to work and then. getting this energy from these people. that came on as guests. that like you know that kind of like. filled like a little bit of like what. would be and you know it took like it's. like when you get on stage you know we. got there you know we started to film. and we're like alright let's see how. this is going to be like i don't know if. it's going to be you know gloomy of. course we miss him you know yeah but. then you know you start laughing and. you're like oh [ __ ] i'm laughing i'm. laughing this is i had fun today right. and then you're like all right all right. we're still laughing what's having fun.

you know um. that's the barometer i think and that's. always been the barometer i think with. you guys as group it seems like. i mean i remember the first time i ever. hung out with you guys was at in. nashville at like the wild west comedy. fest this is years ago yeah man and i. could 2014 is when i met you i think. yeah i couldn't believe how much fun it. was. at the festival. yeah and just being around you got like. it was ridiculous and then joe is so. crazy and then afterwards they're like. he doesn't even drink i'm like oh.

he thought he what. drinking his own blood. he'd be on a bar with his shirt off he. doesn't drink he doesn't do drugs he. doesn't do anything it just blew my mind. as to how much fun could be had by a. group um. yeah i think that's what it's always. been for a lot of people um let me text. my therapist real quick yeah babe then. i'm gonna be late and then what time you. gotta roll out at uh probably i got a 12. 30 but it's only like 15 away so maybe. like seven eight minutes ten minutes. yeah okay cool.

zoom yeah i got my life it's been. helpful to zoom yeah with therapy yeah i. used to have to go into the city to do. it you didn't just do it on zoom yeah. yeah i think once i got comfortable. enough with the therapist you know i'm. going twice a week right now and going. to a lot of meetings so good man yeah. i'm dude this is like. even just being able to sit here and. laugh with you it's been like it's been. so hard for over the past few years i. could imagine bro i don't know what. happened it just something happened and. it wasn't you got a good support system. around you now now it's working better.

you know i didn't real i think i was. trying other things than like um maybe. my recovery program to make me feel. better and it wasn't help you know it. just wasn't working out. so i'm trying to lean back into that you. look good bro thanks man you do i feel. pretty healthy you look good man thank. you i'm the worst shape of my life but i. appreciate it oh yeah yeah really yeah i. gotta turn it around now i gotta turn it. around why yeah i cuz i need to okay. that's too much i filmed my first. special in january too you are going to. lose like 50 pounds yeah wow i mean i.

haven't started yet but right. it's around the corner. but do you feel different being like why. do you want to be like fit or what do. you have i don't want to feel like i. feel now oh you feel bad well i no but. like i don't know i'm you know it's just. it's just like anything right when. you're like i i'm i'm someone who's. fluctuated in weight my whole life up. and down 50 every few years i go from. like two to fifteen to two to fifty two. to fifty for like the last 15 years. that's cool so it's just like when i. know when i hit 250 i gotta get back. down to two oh okay you know there's a.

journey there and i stay there for a. while and i slowly go back up and back. down it's like one of those carnival. games kind of yeah everything with you. kind of has like a little bit of a game. i know you probably know this and people. say this stuff but you know we go back a. while you you know you know me in my. personal life too and i'm just like if. you ever like. you call me anytime man yeah thank you. for anything like that anything just a. vent to bounce [ __ ] off of whatever you. know i know that i'm not like i'm on the. east coast but like dude i you know. thank you yeah.

thanks man yeah i think sometimes i got. in this negative place where i felt just. like really isolated and i was isolating. myself so it was like i was creating my. own a lot of my own problems and. you know i just didn't realize it though. like um. but it's all you know it's something. that's just life it's like you know my. life got super busy you know it's like. you don't know what happens when your. life gets busy and when things change. for you like i remember one time we were. at some party and you had tried to not. have a manager for a while and you're. like finally i have to have a man i have.

to have help yeah yeah you know we. didn't have we don't have one for years. couple years i remember just like it was. a tipping point. and it was like we were holding out you. know because you hear that agents will. say yeah you don't need a management. manager say you don't an agent or even. today people like [ __ ] man you know why. are you giving all that away a lot of. our boys don't have managers yeah i. don't have one now yeah but and but i. remember just you saying that oh we have. to get i i got to a year like i got to a. point where i needed to get some yeah. yeah yeah i think like you know with the. tv and stuff you kind of need someone to. fight those battles and navigate that.

for you yeah if it was just like just. solely just doing stand-up the way to. everyone's diy these days and building. their own audiences and stuff i think. now like it's shifting what you would. need but i'm with my team for so long. now they're like family you know so yeah. yeah yeah oh yeah if you have television. and stuff involved i do think it gets. different yeah we had a couple questions. that came in i wanted to get to one or. two of them real quick from some uh. listeners man. um. theo i love the podcast so much what's. up sal loving practical jokers my name. is ezra ezra and basically i'm just.

asking you sal um have you ever got. swung on in practical jokers. sure people asked that a lot huh yeah um. yeah i almost did look after 10 years. not a lot yeah because we're not really. trying to we're not really trying to. piss people off yeah we're more just. trying to like. be muse bewilder confused like whatever. just you know it's more like that it's. more on us but everyone's while you're. gonna come across a person yeah that. already is like that in their normal. life and it's just looking for something. yeah so we've all all of us have been a.

couple times each in situations one time. i was at the car show at the jacob. javits center and i was working for fiat. that was what i was doing and uh they. kept this guy and this girl walked up. and they kept saying like just shadow. the girl like if she turns like don't. ever like stay behind her so she pivoted. and i went behind her it was like the. first second i did it and he literally. pushed her out of the way grabbed me and. put his fist back he said what are you. doing what are you doing right now and. her boyfriend yeah he's a big dude he. looked like he did like ufc and [ __ ]. yeah he like he was ripped yeah but he.

went from zero to he literally pushed. her out of the way put his fist up. in in in a half a second all i did and. he's like go ahead go ahead he goes what. are you doing what are you doing and i. was in like a suit jacket and tie i was. like showing the fiat yeah and i looked. at him. and he he literally you know you know. you know there's a difference between. like go ahead bro he was like you saw. like. like he was like that and i just i. didn't want to like antagonize it. anymore you know defuse oh yeah so i. just looked at him and he goes what are. you doing what do you do and i go.

i'm just trying to get you guys into a. fiat you know. and i just stayed the course and he's. like yeah what do you don't don't [ __ ]. with me he's like don't you guys. i just i don't know what you mean man he. goes i'm just i'm just trying to show. you guys this fiat. like just soft like that you know and. then like they took him away and then. they you know and then he didn't want to. hear nothing but uh murray got slapped. in the face hard with a guy's cell phone. like he went like that like popped him. in the face. but this guy was crazy though this guy. we were filming at like a odd lot like.

an odd job store like you know what that. is oh yeah they got the rules. like yeah yeah yeah it'll like have like. half of an autumn and you're like. yeah like and truly and like cereal and. like all that [ __ ] right oh yeah they. got like rescue milk yes. so this guy. is is on his phone and he's a big dude. man he was like six five huge dude. and. murray uh is. the guy's talking and they have bins and. i guess the guy's standing and the bin. in front of murray has bronze and like.

this bin might have no pads you know but. so murray like as he's on the phone i. would like murray takes out the bra and. he like he's like he puts it up against. the guy to like just see and he's like. you're my wife's size and then he puts. up the guy and the guy just whipped him. out and he goes he goes what are you. [ __ ] doing and then the guy i guess. was having a bad day and he just looked. at murray and started to go at him and. then murray ran and he started chasing. murray charging at him screaming. charging at him and swinging at him and. murray's running around the aisles and. the guy's chasing full public. the restaurant's open the store is open.

and then he swung at him and he. clipped off right here right and then. everyone was like all right and then. they asked him to leave and the guy went. out and goes i'm gonna he goes i'm gonna. come back here because i'm leaving i'm. gonna come back here i'm gonna [ __ ]. kill everybody. we had to shut it down immediately. because we didn't know if that was a. true threat yeah he was screaming i'm. going to come back here i'm going to. kill you guys i'm coming back and we're. like all right let's just let's just cut. this out right now. for the bras huh yeah but but but but. that's really uncommon oh yeah that dude.

i used to hide this isn't like. it's not like your game show but it's. like i remember hiding at my buddy's. house in his hamper and smelling his. [ __ ] mom's bra. when i was a kid man. oh [ __ ]. yeah what are you gonna do kids. what'd it smell like ah smelled like. [ __ ] did it smell like like perfume. or did it smell like ham yeah it's not. like perfume i think it just smelled. like a home kind of you know yeah it was. like sir you know looking for i wasn't. really looking exactly he didn't know. you did that no he still doesn't know.

yeah and i would never tell him if he. were on his deathbed or something like. that i would tell him. or physically he might be if he knows. you yeah. that's [ __ ] hilarious well let's got. one more question maybe that came. through man i gotta go to therapy dude. damn morning sale or good afternoon theo. good afternoon sal. um today's i've got a question. and it's what's the poorest thing you've. done. for example mine was. uh i used to wash my car.

at the petrol station with the little um. windscreen wiper get around my whole car. in the grease everything's pretty good. car wash. so yeah what's the poorest thing you've. ever done hey babe. i've done a lot of poor things yeah yeah. i've used before yeah i mean i didn't. come from any money yeah but i was. growing up i got to think about it like. i i mean i did poor stuff one thing i. did i don't know if it's the poorest. thing i've done but one thing when i was. older and i started working out of. college i was working at prudential. securities. and they had a cafeteria.

and what i would do is and i someone. told me this and i did it but i was i. used to do it all the time but i i was. sweating every time i did it. what i would do is i would go get a. large dixie cup and cap for a fountain. soda okay but then i would go to the. chicken tenders station and i would. stuff the dixie cup with like six seven. chicken tenders put it on put the straw. and go and pay like a dollar nineteen. for the cup instead of seven dollars for. the tenders. yeah that was like when i was like a. nine to five like i was like i had a.

desk and everything yeah and i would go. and steal those chicken fingers at like. every other day man and i was always. when i got on the line to pay like i was. always so nervous that they were gonna. like is it because it really is that's. really a really a bad look yeah get. caught with that you know you call yeah. with a cup of chicken tender you're like. i thought it was yes. okay but it was like you know i'm trying. to save money man yeah that's a good i. was making no money you know like my. salary at this high school out of. college was 28 000 a year wow yeah yeah.

you're cutting corners then man i. remember one time we had a um rental. car and we got an accident it got a dent. in it right. and we tried to get uh. we got like some we uh caught some bird. right pigeons and got him with [ __ ] over. the dent like over the dent you haven't. so that it would uh. hide the. thing yeah. in florida. yeah i guess they [ __ ] enough that like. it's it might happen oh you could make. it look for sure i mean we [ __ ] up half.

the whole like you know one quarter pi. watch you just held a pigeon yeah oh i. can't hold foul really no oh wow they. tried to make me gr uh commandeer a. chicken on the show and it was [ __ ] and. everywhere but that that's they're too. wiry they're too. they're too like i don't know birds you. know i don't mind them in the air but. yeah i don't like handling them they put. a hawk on my wrist once i [ __ ] myself. you couldn't handle it. joe used to have a parrot that would. attack me of course he did yeah wonder. what that's about. the parrot just the whole thing that you. can't you don't like that foul on you.

well no the hawk was the hawk is scary. as [ __ ] yeah but uh i don't know just a. while i mean maybe you can get something. you can get used to but that was the. first time i was ever handling a chicken. oh yeah you know you just you don't know. like you know like. yeah when chickens are very volatile. yeah you know i think it's um. they deserve to be an entree that's what. i think really i think when i see some. of the meats on andre liston i'm like ah. this [ __ ] don't deserve to make. it up here we know why he got here yeah. chicken if chicken's in there i'm like.

these [ __ ] deserve it because they're. they're pretty gangster man yeah um we. had a turkey farmer on in the turtle. yeah though once one of them dies. they'll freaking you know they'll go at. that one it's very um you know it's a. uh. like i don't know what that movie is. called um. gangs in new york. you know they get very uh territorial. yeah they'll [ __ ] second year out. it's year out wow you know they don't. play okay. well dude we didn't get to talk really. about the crews that i came on with you.

let's talk about it next time anytime. dude i'd love to this was so much fun. dude i've never done it i don't think. i've ever done this with you i don't. think so. yeah right on i'm glad you uh dude thank. you so much for coming come on come on. if you're ever in new york come on i got. i do a podcast called hey babe oh yeah. yeah and uh one called taste buds with. joe derosa if you know joe. oh yeah yeah i know joe too we do a. podcast little taste buds so we got the. two uh come on either of any time. tastebuds were just arguing over foods. really it's fun it's just like we just. literally get into real big arguments oh.

wow over just like food and then me and. chris is just you know just bullshitting. and stuff yeah yeah man i love him uh. anytime we'd love to have you on dude. yeah especially now that i'm starting to. feel a bit better i think it'll be. easier for me to go do them you know. it's been hard for me to go be a guest. just because also you when you got your. own podcast it's hard oh hell yeah yeah. but especially new york was kind of. close so i got to get up there and see. you guys yeah i never do this when i'm. out here there's this whole trip uh. because i came i'm touring so i came. through on tour and uh. i was like i'm just gonna do all my. friends part you know just do. everybody's podcast which i never get to.

do it so it's been a fun week man that's. cool man yeah well thanks for making us. one of them man i appreciate it yeah of. course of course uh in the new season. when does it come up june 16th it starts. on thursday nights and uh i'm touring i. have like 20 30 cities up right now and. i'm adding all the time on my website. savilecanocomedy.com vegas is one that i. just announced that i'm excited about to. get going but yeah there's tons of. cities up there man we're doing phoenix. and boulder and vancouver seattle. portland evansville louisville dang um.

everywhere now you guys are rocking. syracuse just in nashville uh. minneapolis milwaukee i mean it's loaded. up i've been loading up cool you guys. can check it out and go check out sal in. person man um. any way you get sal volcano is a great. way to get him and uh and i'm grateful. that i've got to spend time with you man. thanks so much dude yeah love you buddy. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel i'm falling like these leaves i. must be.

cornerstone. [Music]. [Music]. a little time. for me to set that parking brake. and let myself on my heart. shine that light on.

me i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music]. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. [Music].

they just.