Risky Biscuits | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #277

you know um it's time maybe it's time to. it's time to just it's time they've just. wake up I think you know we rolling out. this virus bed back out Aneta into the. world you know it's time to get your. legs going see if you still got him.

you know we met when I was young we had. a man bus this man big Gilroy they. called him and he had what they call a. little first snake on him that FS hit. her and what it was was everybody. thought oh he gots a snake that has a. hair malfunction. you know if a snake that's covered in. hair but it was a squirrel that had lost.

its legs in an accident some type of. accident and all four of its legs had. been decapitated like you know I don't. even know print there's something. shoveling I don't know I guess it could. have been like an automobile accident or. something myth or somehow but anyway and. if you looked at it it looked like a. damn first night so it was just you know.

everything just no matter really a. perception it's how you look at it you. know we could have been sad when. gillware would bring it we could have. got out the Kleenex and the damn you. know a little you know something sad a. little sad you know a little drawing a. picture of the Grim Reaper done. something like that and said aw what's.

so sad you know he got to know legged. you know tree marsupial out here. squirrel but instead everybody said oh. wow look at this he got that beautiful. person. he got that footless little little. critter hitter again. [Music].

celebrate. [Music]. I'm preparing to turn. have some fun. we celebrate.

you got to celebrate them you know you. can have that little you could have that. little I see you squirrel and look at it. that's on the sad route and travel. through the freakin tear Creek or you. could ride that wave of just excitement. and say I have dang gilroy guts a first. snake good to be here good to be here.

hope you are well I hope I'm well that's. always a concern it is may it is 2020. and we are traveling in the time at the. speed we've always gone into it at so we. are traveling exactly the same speed. forward into time and that's where we. are oh you had a nice weekend and I hope.

you had that nice Mother's Day you know. the the power of a mother just that. ability to create something in your body. I mean that's really that's magic. there's no and you know I know Siegfried. died or whatever you know and I know he. died and him and his friend or husband. they you know they were lovers or.

something when one of them died right. but but that's artificial you know that. beautiful gay bad boy he couldn't pull. another person out of his body I mean. not that he had formed he could I'm sure. he'd done some stuff but you know uh a. mother's got that ultimate that Rubik's. Cube inside of them that little.

formulator that Aubrey. and they'll roll out a baby like that. that's God's Yahtzee right there i'ma. roll a baby you feel me and I'm gonna. use your mother to do it I hope you had. a nice Mother's Day and happy Mother's. Day to all those single moms out there. and and just know that you are loved I. uh what did I get to do I got to go too. why didn't I didn't do too much man I.

went for a run worked out cook me up a. little burger meat you know the doctor. has me on a grass-fed meat now so the. animals that I'm eating if he had been. eating grass so it's you know we're all. doing our part I guess and you know I. like to get me a burger. made out of beef meat I'll do beef meat.

and I'll get that burger that burger. patty and and I like to cut it up put it. in a bowl cut me a nice toe mod in there. one of them Creole tomatoes cut that bad. [ __ ] up like I like I just met that MFR. in a Japanese alley and it owes me money. dawg I was a slice that bad [ __ ] up. and then I get me a that I walk taught.

me that Spanish avocado and I'll slice. that bad cat up you know I'll. straight-up get into that sucker put. that in a bowl dice it up throw a little. avocado oil on it a little salt a little. sea salt or to even just land salt I use. the original [ __ ] bro. that basic ass land salt brother kind of. [ __ ] used to get at school and I throw.

that in that bowl and get that tasty. that tasty little that beef patty salad. and then I had a friend growing up his. mother was named patty and that always. blew my mind you know to name your child. after a dam cut of cooked meat or shaped. meat how you gonna name your child after. a meat shape notice patty.

oh hey patty behave patty I'm gonna put. you on the grill Oh patty and then for. fun you take a piece of cheese and just. put it on Patty's head oh look what we. did to patty oh that's cute you know. doing little children can be very you. know little you know there's something.

unique about them um when my niece was. born you know my sister had it my sister. had you know father or parent get birth. to my niece she gave birth to had a. little beautiful little damn crotch. nugget and and we'd never had a baby. before in our family nobody had ever had. a baby hell no one had he ever even. walked in on anybody else masturbating. or anything in our house and I remember.

we went to Chili's and Chili's if you're. not familiar with it it's they kind of. act like it's Mexican but it's like just. everybody from your high school started. a restaurant and and basically Chili's. had these chips they had this you get. the order of chips and salsa brah and. they hit you with the bowl of chips this.

basket it looked like half of a little. like a Mexican hat it almost looked like. a little yarmulke for like a little. Mexican [ __ ] or little person my bad. and that thing would be full of chips or. jeeps and you get the little dish of. Sal's a bra and. and if you're like me you order your own. salza for your half at a table because I. don't like it you got four people there. they bring one thing of keeps and one.

thing as alza' no bring 2,000. bring 2,000 cuz I'm gonna take I'm gonna. put one in my area you know I'm fine. sharing one but I'm not like there's two. if there's four people you need two. Salle's man I just hate that [ __ ] they. just make it they want to create tension. right off the bat but I remember my my.

little niece you know we'd never had a. baby in our family and she was real. little I mean I mean real little I mean. a [ __ ] fat squirrel could have given. birth to this baby and we put her in the. little chip dish we took the chips out. and put her in there and we put the. chips on top of her and we kind of just. ate the chips and you know and she was.

you know kind of asleep or just too. young to open her eyes but just kind of. a beautiful family moment that we had. you know years ago when my niece was. first born at the Chili's what's going. on not too much I'm happy to be here. hope you guys have had a nice weekend. what else oh I went over to David. Spade's and I watched the fights the.

fistfights maybe UFC and we're lucky we. got dust in the diamond Poirier he's. gonna be on in a little while we're. gonna zoom with him and talk with him. you know he's right there in the thick. of all of that and just excited to get. to chat with my buddy anyway and see how. he's doing and and a man those fights. were exciting you know those fights were. really really exciting a. it was interesting now if you go to. david spade's home and I am home.

dropping I'm home dropping I'll be. honest with you and we went and and they. had I mean he has you know they got a. lot of different you know rich looking. stuff in there he's got one of those. houses I've got a couple different. living rooms in it like one of them. looks like a lobby of like a UH like at. the bank you know he got some one area. like you could do a chase or a Wells.

Fargo the business area and then they. got a you know he's got a button you. press and the damn curtains come down I. mean it's just I mean hell it would be. it's the kind of place I wouldn't even. masturbate in this place it's nice you. know I do have some respect you know. it's just the kind of place you wouldn't. even touch yourself in or hell I. wouldn't even write a letter I wouldn't.

even write myself a love note in there. you know it just has that kind of. comfort in there and in beauty and. there's a big picture of art on the wall. and I don't even know what the hell it. is but it looks expensive but it was. nice watch the fights had a little bit. of sea bass over there because rich. people eat different fish man I like. fish that is Ryu know that you can. actually get a hold of carp you know.

what else catfish. sunfish eel if you do an eel right bro. then I'll do a damn meal baby you feel. me. look barbecued eel that's something I. don't mind you start some a1 on one of. them [ __ ] slick little pond phalanges. baby I'll suck that thing down god damn. I will suck that thing face-first bro. you put that big beautiful eel out there.

with a little BB Q on it. when a couple honey-roasted peanuts. brought to chase it down whoo hmmm we. doing it but that's what I did man you. know I went over to somebody Rich's. house and watched the fights and. actually I went over to Jionni we got. the twink Jionni he's back in town so we. went over I went over with him and Nick.

and watched a little bit of the fights -. producer Nick and but we'll talk a. little bit more about the fights. whenever we got Dustin on in a little. while and talk a little bit more about. UFC yeah what else I don't know the. world's getting back you know we're all. being kind of reborn a little you feel. that a little bit and some people is. afraid to come out of the womb some. people wants to stay in the womb some. people want to just go outside of the.

womb because we've all kind of been like. womb mates for a while and that's. running out and there's a lot of. disparity out there right now people. want to some people want to start living. life again and go back to the old days. and some people want to just you know. kick it up a notch and be natural or. some people want to just stay like you. know quarantined and there's an here's.

the thing in in this country both people. you can do both that's the thing about. America that's it you know it would. almost be more helpful during a pandemic. if you lived in a country that was. socialist or communist because what what. they say goes there's no there's no. joking around there's no ifs ands or. buts but we don't live in that place you.

know we live in a place where everybody. has a say and that's what's going on. right now and people say well these. people are wrong or these people well. neither one of them are. I mean they may be wrong to me or they. may be wrong to you but you know. everybody has a sayin and you know like.

the government can't just tell people. that they can't do things they just. can't do that I mean and everybody I. feel like has given this disease they've. you know the virus they've you know I. feel like we've done a good job of. planning ahead the only thing we could. have done was take these measures you. know we had to take the measures that. have been taken if it's rainin bro you. could even if you like the rain you. might want to start off by putting on a.

raincoat just to you know how long it's. gonna rain what its gonna feel like will. there be lightning you know am I gonna. be trying to smoke a cigarette what's. gonna what it's going to go on during. this ring and then once you have a plan. then you can take the coat off if you. want some people want to take their. coats off some people want to stay in. the coat and both of them are right. that's what I think both I'm writing. this I need something I think it's just. the way it is. I personally I'm more of a risky biscuit.

you know something if you see if you. smell my back you're gonna smell a bunch. of risk jelly because that's what God. spread on me you know he put that damn. sweet risk paste right on my damn skin. and that's who I am. you know what I'm ready I'm ready to. take you know let's take some chances. I'm ready to roll the dice I don't know.

it I don't even I just think that's what. you know cuz I grew up in a place we had. rabies going around we had dangerous dog. come and bite you you know we didn't. have a virus but we'd have a dog come. through town by 7 or 18 people a name. you get hit by that dog yeah I didn't. get hit but my grandfather did oh yeah. my cousin got bit by that dog. m-yeah he killed two chickens at our.

house and and he got my aunt like damn. so I grew up an area where things were. passing through that would that few up. you know we'd have like dangerous nails. back when they had tetanus she had to. get a tetanus shot. because 3040 people step on the same. sharp nail in town oh you know you'd.

have a 30 40 different people step on. the same nail so I grew up in a kind of. place I'm look I tell mother nature. bring it on throw that battle-ax mother. nature because I'm ready to get out. there now it may be risky but like I. said I'm a risky biscuit. that's the baking soda I got inside of. me is risk powder and some people don't.

some people more safety some people was. raised you know you know and they they. they got a library inside of them and. everything they got all you know they. want it to be like this and this and. this and hey that's okay it might be. different than me but I'll live with. those people so you know I respect what. they want to do but but they also have. to like I'm not going to be ignorant. about the way I live but I'm gonna live. you know I feel like I just want to live.

but it's tough because we all have to be. careful we're not endangering each other. you know it's a unique time but people. are ready people are getting back out. there people are taking on new. experiences and uh and taking on old. experiences man we got a couple calls. that came in I'm gonna get into some of. it the hotline as always as nine eight. five six six four nine five zero three.

what's up max from Texas down there and. yeah Elon Musk said he might be moving. his plant down to Texas because he has. issues. the way that they're governing the the. lockdown here in in California homeward. and well I'm gonna fan for about two. years now. Thank You Man thank you for the support. brother that's nice of you man but um.

I'm 15 years old and that's important. because man I'm getting the job and the. bust one actually and I know you in a. Billiken court Oh were Busboys and. around my age so I don't know man I'm. really anxious about dude um I'm going. to help my mom during this corvid time. dude but uh I'm gonna send me back some. advice gang [ __ ] well you know gang brah.

and I love you too brother and I'm glad. look I'm glad first and foremost are you. taking on new opportunity to help out. your mother you know Mother's Day really. is it's a it's a that Mother's Day just. a reminder that's just lighting the fuse. the rest of the year is that candle baby. where we try to keep it burning for our. mother and it's hard it's a hard. relationship sometimes but I love. hearing this man this makes me feel this. reminds me that I'm a son and then I. want to help out my mother as well and.

look I'll tell you man bus Boyan first. of all you have to remember that when. you start out as a busboy if if you. start out like I started out bees to the. dub baby balls-to-the-wall son you know. what I'm saying nuts. I mean just nuts to the frickin drywall. I mean I started out just I was I was. cruising we had bread over there brah.

waters who needs tea bro and we had two. different types of tea that was the. thing and one of the pitchers had a. little orange slice on it a quarter. orange slice on a tip of the pitcher and. the other one didn't so if people got. that tropical passion tea you had to get. that orange slice picture hit him with. that one and if they got that basic ass. tea you know you had to hit him with. that regular picture. and we had that in water those were the. three pictures we had so I'm running. regular tees I'm running passion tees.

and then we had these kind of a very. light Banana Nut muffin in these very. light banana nut muffins it was a um get. to replace the tray and then someone. they had butter sometime you know big. big Lawrence or somebody big big uh big. uh big Bernadette roll in there and they. throw six butters on a muffin like down.

on a half a month and they cut it in. half and stacked that [ __ ] up with that. month idea that butter so then we got to. hit him with that butter bam bam bam but. it was constantly just moving and. shaking but yet I had the apron I was. cruising I had the rag stuffed in the. corner you know and I one wet rag in one. dry way one dry rag so I was ready for. anything and I was smiling I was.

cruising I was hyped I was excited but. what I'm telling you is this if you. start out at a new position as a busboy. you want to start out with some. enthusiasm you want to but if you start. out balls-to-the-wall they're always. going to expect balls-to-the-wall and. what happened to me was over years you. know how you ended up using steroids and. creatine to enhance my performance and.

uh because that was my sport man in high. school that was my sport man being a. busboy getting that minimum wage you. know pocketing that M dubbed a B and so. I was next thing you know I'm using D. ball I'm using winstram on test 200 test. 240 some real questionable [ __ ] that. came out for a little while but what I'm. saying is if you start with if he. started a level 10 they'll always expect.

that level 10 so if I could go back in. time I'd have started at a level eight. I'd have known I was capable of ten. and I would have ramped it up around. there from about maybe 8:30 to 9:45. during the heat hours or peak times they. called it peak business times that's. when I were to ramped up my ability and. then I were to ramped it down the rest. of the time because I burnt out you know.

I have to add two years I'm having to do. you know I'm on creatine I'm on you know. I'm on uppers bruh I'm you know I'm. meeting up with people after work doing. draw like I I just got burnt out cuz I. but I was a dog I was Allen Iverson of. [ __ ] dirty tables that's who I was. and anybody in Tucson will tell you that. that knew about that in like early 2000s.

so that's all I would say man go in. there be passionate and a but have that. extra gear you can always go into and if. I could go back in time that's how I. would do it I'd have that extra gear. because I kind of ran out of it man I'm. looking at this video they got robots in. Singapore in the park. I don't know if you saw this thing it's. like a little electric dog it's like a.

little you know this little just a damn. it looks like a damn future it looked. like somebody took a piece of the future. and just threw it in a park and it goes. around and tells people they're too. close together and kind of videos it. looks like a video records also what is. going on in the park unless people know. if they're in a group that they need to. be at least one meter apart if you saw.

this video or not and it's just it's an. electronic it's a robot and what I don't. like about a personal doesn't have a. head so it looks extremely it has that. whole futuristic look in every now and. then on Facebook they'll come out with. something real future. eristic that just it kind of looks like. it's just to scare you like this is what. its gonna be like but that's in.

Singapore man okay you let that [ __ ]. loose in Baltimore somebody somebody. will first of all we'll have that thing. we'll have that. somebody will have that thing fighting a. pitbull in five minutes bro. you let that [ __ ] loose in Baltimore. first of all somebody else will be. mating that thing do my buddy sach field. he'll mate that thing with a damn. Australian Shepherd you have a couple.

little uh you know you'll have a couple. of arty r2d2 s about six weeks later huh. however long it takes to make a dog baby. but yeah I don't think this is the wave. of the future I think that this is. something that's kind of spooky about. science because in some countries people. aren't people are gonna listen to this. animal to this robot animal but not here. dude if that thing comes close to. somebody they're gonna pull out a UH a.

weapon on it due to a couple crackheads. who [ __ ] melt that thing's leg down. and sell it sell the copper out of that. mf'er so I I just think you know you got. a unique deal here but I don't think. that this thing's something anybody. needs to be scared of not here not in. the US ma'am but it's definitely pretty. fascinating a Boston Dynamics robot. named spot was deployed in Singapore to.

help police citizens during their. nationwide corvid lockdown spot roams. around public spaces and reminds people. of social distancing rules and is. equipped with cameras and analytic tools. to observe how many people are in given. space breaches of Singapore's strict. lockdown rules can result in fines or. jail yep and that's fine but let me just. tell you this you let that thing loose. over there on McGhee street where I grew. up bro somebody will steal that a little.

MF ROS leg bra and uh. and put that thing and and and use that. thing somehow in a damn Toyota Tercel. somebody somebody do somebody melt that. little bastard down and make a hubcap. for a freaking 88 Camry in a heartbeat. bruh and that's factual. so in Singapore yeah in Baltimore this.

little month this little MF ro get. carjacked in a heartbeat. what else went on in the news man oh. yeah. Elon Musk I was talking about earlier. talking about moving Tesla out of. California following extended. shelter-in-place rules. local California officials refused to. let Tesla reopen its Fremont factory. Tesla has filed a lawsuit against. Alameda County Elon Musk threatened to.

move Tesla's headquarters to Texas or. Nevada where shelter-in-place rules are. less restrictive Elon Musk tweeted the. unelected and ignorant interim health. officer of Alameda is acting contrary to. the governor the president and our. constitutional freedoms and just plain. common sense he said frankly this is the. final straw Tesla is the last car maker. left in California I think you're gonna.

run into stuff like this because you. know business owners business operators. they want to they want a business. business people want a business and they. we live in a free market where people. can business and so when a government. comes in at a certain point says all you. can't business you know I think you're. gonna get you this is what you're gonna. get you're gonna get people to say.

that's fine I'm gonna go to a state that. is a little bit more along the lines. with the way that I want to do business. and I say more power to that you know. I'm all for a little bit more for state. governments you know I'd love to see. more. you know this is this state and this is. the way that they like to do things. because we're such a we're such a people. that you know people have so many ideas.

now and everybody has a platform now to. share their ideas and how they think and. what they like that I feel like there. that there should be almost more option. more options I wish that everybody were. just we are America but that doesn't. seem to be the way that it is anymore. and so I think if you have a bunch of. different kind of smaller types of. America within states then people can.

say ok this state is more to my liking. this is where I want to do my business. this is more what I'm in line with and I. think you're gonna get that you know. especially California in California you. know it's very liberal and you know they. try to kind of cater to you know always. help the lowest common denominator or. give everybody you know they want to. help everyone and I love it I love it in. theory but sometimes in practicality. it's not always you know I don't feel.

like there's a lot of you also need to. help yourself whereas some states I feel. like there's a bit more in the. constituents or a customer in there in. there in the ball bag of each of that. state that says earn the Aubree's that. says hey you know we'll help you you. also have to help yourself. you also need to do things for yourself.

so yeah I think it's neat that there's. if that if any business want to go with. it and then they have the ability to do. that but I'm not surprised you know I'm. not surprised it's interesting too. because in in California a lot of. businesses are so you know people are. very there's a strong sense of okay.

everyone needs to wear a mask our. stronger sense here than there are in. other places that I've been and I'm. living mostly in the Hollywood area so. but I see I hear a strong sense of okay. we need to wear masks you have your mask. on want to have your mask on but now. some businesses aren't going to be able. to come back because they're not going. to be able to make enough money like a. restaurant you know in a neighborhood. where it costs them you know $20,000 a. month for their rent now if they have to.

keep tables six feet apart or whatever. they're not going to be able to survive. because they're not gonna have enough. tables in their restaurant so it's just. like you have places that it's almost. like their own extremely or their own. more liberal rules are now eating up. their own businesses if that makes any. sense and sometimes I don't know what.

I'm talking about and I always don't. know what I'm talking about um but but. it's like okay well these are this is. the way it needs to be we need to follow. all these guidelines and now the. guidelines have it so they can't even. run their own businesses anymore whereas. you have other places you know I was in. Utah last week and they're just like hey. let's rock you know let's rock. so that's America though people can you.

can do it different ways but businesses. are also going to be able to decide okay. I want to do my business in the place. where they're a little bit more or less. rock or a little or they're a little bit. more no we can't rock because these are. the rules and both of those are okay I'm. excited to talk about these fights man. we're gonna do it in just a few minutes. I got to let you know that today's. episode is brought to you by blue chew. and if you want to get in the ring with.

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damn it hurt me damn it hurt me and I. didn't know what to do and I just wanted. to run my damn car off the road or just. driving to a [ __ ] Wendy's Drive right. into the back of a Wendy's but instead I. hit up better help and within minutes I. was on a FaceTime call with a therapist. and she was able to talk me into some. comfort and then I was able to go on. about my day it's not a crisis line it's.

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health with the help of an experienced. professional special offer for this past. weekend listeners get 10% off your first. month at better help calm / Theo oh man. getting through this episode the world. is starting back you know it's funny. some people don't want the world to open. back up because I feel like it gives.

them a sense of control over others I. just notice this I have some friends who. say no no no but I don't think I think. they're just thinking it gives them this. oh then they can control what happens. now you know it gives them like they get. to control everybody some of us it's. like a sense you know we don't want to. go we don't want to have to be. responsible I think there's a part of me.

that's like dang let's keep it like this. you know I don't have to be respond I. don't have to. you know there's no that the system is. down the sit the the checks and balances. is all gone that the rat race isn't. there I don't have to you know I can. just be lazy I can take it easy out you.

know it's been it's been a break so yeah. I guess there's a difference there. between it's been a break and do I and. am I being do I just want to keep being. able to be lazy you know but there's. part of me that definitely feels that I. call this break is nice you know I'm. afraid if things start back up and I'm.

gonna have to be you know back into. competing for a job and competing for. this and trying for that and you know I. think there's a little part of me that's. I call oh yeah well I guess there's been. nice to not have to do that it's just so. there's so many little things going on. throughout this whole core of it man. gang bro let's take another call they. came right here corvid positive from. gentlemen homeward what's up Sergio and.

that's Spanish for Serge I guess our. sergeant I'm living in Dallas now and I. want to I was listening to the podcast. and I was hearing that oh you can to get. somebody with some positive that. happiness and so I didn't want to let. you know man you know I changed my whole. life around I started smoking weed about. 14 or 20 mm and I teach my whole life.

around I even got a little hooked with a. little yeah you know at 81 Rico but I. got I got all that I got rid of all that. man and okay he's off the dope he's off. the bag baby and uh ser he owes off that. bag gang [ __ ] homework I lost 100 pounds. you know and just like before the whole. chorus thing happened you know like you. say out I take my whole life round in. this crazy that I left me. York in January right before this went.

down so I wanted to get your essays my. whole life I'm trying to get back. together with my wife we got separated. we're trying to get back together and. we're trying to we're trying to be good. together clearly more so and there you. go listen to that you know this is a. yeah people have used this opportunity. to adjust to recalibrate to look at. things and that's beautiful man and. Thank You Sergio for that call you know. that's a beautiful call to get from your. brother let's take another right there.

the hotline nine eight five six six four. nine five zero three I feel it's Lia. from not Julia to see hey Lia thank you. for calling from Mount Joliet Albert and. it is currently 4:30 in the morning and. I just finished high school it's really. weird I didn't think that I would finish.

high school on my bedroom floor but I. did and I finished it I said my last. final while watching your latest episode. back from outdoors and dying of laughter. as always yeah oh well thank you Leah. yeah I think that yeah somebody finished. in their high school the end of the end. of high school and you just been at home. you're on the floor you know it says uh.

well hell I remember then the high. school we had a dance I guess it was. prom and a buddy of mine the Spanish. teacher grabbed his uh dick penis wiener. so you know the guy had tried to for. years and [ __ ] and uh and finally he.

kind of my buddy just kind of let him. you know they were they were everybody. was drunk it was at the dance and and he. just kind of let him [ __ ] hold it for. a little um not in like a homoerotic way. just like in a specialty human way hey. buddy you know yeah finally I'll let you. look at this bro you know but just give. it back and so there's two ways to look. at it Leah you know you know there's a. way at least you're in the safety of. your own home you're finishing a paper. you know you know it's 4:30 you can go.

back to sleep. meanwhile my buddy is getting uh you. know sexually accosted by a man you know. a fake Spanish man so gang baby what. else we got this call that came in right. here hey what's up Bo it's Richie. down here New Iberia Louisiana Oh Richie. from New Iberia and that's actually.

extremely close to where uh Dustin. Poirier lives and we're gonna be on on. zoom with him in just a few minutes. homeward and I was just thinking you. know I want to hear what you thought. about you know names people name their. children and what name you know. basically guarantees that your kid is. going to turn out a certain way you know. back in the day you know people would. name their kid. Bertha that was a popular name and then.

I think at some point people realized if. you name your little girl Bertha she's. gonna be fat she's probably gonna be fat. I can't name a skinny person and then I. was you know. yeah Bertha you know what oftenly lend. itself to a large nosotros Albert think. about like Shane Shane's a name you see. a lot of and I don't know how about. where you was over in Covington but I. know where you know all the research. I've ever done anytime you see a dude.

named Shane he's up to them Dark Arts. he's probably doing some some. mischievous things he's huffing freon. he's stealing some nice propane tank and. yeah throwing it at him me. yeah Shane is a sneaky er name Oh Shane. over there you know sipping coolant you. know Shane over there huffing that gas. baby getting that Astro head you know. just I just. frickin ass throwing up his old lung. holes yeah yeah different names.

different for sure I agree with you. there I'm trying to think of a couple. right now cliff you know you call a. somebody cliff you name them cliff. that's dangerous because if they get. into their own name it's gonna they're. gonna go to a mountain they're gonna go. to a quarry they might take that chance. brother might take that leap you know. whereas if you name somebody Candida you. know if they get involved in her own. name they may be gonna get a cavity they.

may you know it's a more limited I'm a. different name for sure you know we had. a raw sugar Roy we had this guy bus as. guy and he could have been a gay man but. he was still a child but um but they. would call him sugar Roy and Roy. sometimes can have that that type of. name you know a little bit more sugar. and a tank a Ricky they call him tricky.

Ricky maybe he does magic he does tricks. or a licky licky Ricky they call him a. leaky Ricky he'll lick anything put. something by him see if he'll wet it up. with his tongue with that liquor well we. had a guy named Jeep this dude he was. dangerous as [ __ ] and he was named after. Jeep man and I remember he couldn't get. a driver's license as we got older. because they kept thought he fell out. the paperwork wrong because he'd write.

Jeep in as his name but that was his. damn name but yes certain names Dexter. that could be a nerdy name Darcy that's. a library named Winston he gonna smoke. you know splinter he gonna probably do. lumber you know. mark he gonna probably chalk up the. football field before the games so.

everybody you know that yeah a name. could be definitely a different one you. know a name could lead you a certain. type of way some type of way all right. let's take one more call here before we. get into hitting up the diamond Dustin. Poirier here and um and this gentleman. right here at a call in that came into. the hotline that hit me. gang homework hey Colin from Rochester.

New York. what's up Rust Belt and you up there. Rochester baby the ROC and shout out to. my boy Baggins that died out there. outside of a Days Inn I think yeah man. Rochester baby home at a neck tattoo. dude home at a neck tattoo and a lot of. white dudes shooting three-pointers bruh. five pointers gang Robert ladies podcast. here and you saying Americans getting.

soft and I took exception to that. because because maybe some are but but. this one ain't I slept outside for 10. years 10 solid years I lived on park. benches had attempt by the highway. staircases the parking garage staircases. one winter it was so cold I'd check out. a psych ward because I went crazy. damn well yeah you're right man on my. bad dude yeah I hate being cold and.

crazy that's the worst isn't it isn't. that the worst man when you [ __ ] you. losing your mind and you [ __ ]. freezing cold I hate that [ __ ] you're. like I'm singing ghosts you right Johnny. man my bad dude a lot of people holding. it down a lot of people are tough gang. you know bum fights all sorts of stuff. so not not every American living that. soft life you know keep that in mind man.

and a lot of people work hard you right. man. you write bro you know I'm out here in. soft gana stand man and you know in. Hollyweird I got to remember that you. know I'm out here where it's just me. really my meeting only perception I have. is my own some speaking from my own way. of life really man but gang bruh and. stay warm daddy get that coat all right. let's get this oh here's another call. from New York I want to get this in a.

little bit more I know I've been talking. a little bit about the disease today and. and and how we're bouncing back from it. and if you have any calls or suggestions. or constructive criticisms of things. that I've said feel free to hit the. hotline nine eight five six six four. nine five zero three onward this is. Johnny from Long Island what's up Johnny. hoping you give me some advice was. getting to a pretty dark place my dad.

died a few weeks ago from coronavirus. yeah I was again into a pretty bad trip. saying like that guy who called three. days ago who's bad died uh nurses family. member died of colon cancer hmm I. thought I'd call you. man I'm sorry brother. man I'm sorry to hear that about that. about your father man uh you know let me.

let me see if I can't get you on the. line Johnny boy I got your number right. here I want to hear a little more.

hey Johnny. what up man is this Theo von man I got. your voicemail on the voice machine yeah. man I'm just real sorry to hear about. your father. [Music].

[Music].

word man well thanks for saying that. dude yeah sometimes it's easier than. others man sometimes you know when life. gets hectic and stuff it's hard to I. don't know sometimes it's hard to just. keep everything kind of cruising you. know and with your father pretty was he.

pretty ill take me through some of that. man cuz what a surprise that he had that. he had korvac. yeah yeah um you got it was all like. really quick really really quick yeah. you got it in the beginning of April oh.

and he had it for like a week at home. and like we thought he was doing fine. pretty healthy guy he was 65 and he. smoked for most of his life he exercised. over throughout the hospital and then.

they put him into a coma do you think.

the man gosh dude I'm so sorry man you.

guys were pretty close I got my first. like real job and he was really proud of.

me immigrant from the USSR so. basically like he achieved his like. American dream. he had like his son like guess it's like. jobs so IQs we got we got really close. yeah wow man that's amazing that you. guys are you know had some you know had. some stuff that you know kind of some. achievements it sounds like in this past. year yeah I'm so sorry man I just it's.

just such a shock in I guess. were you guys evil able to able to have. a funeral or anything like that and you.

didn't ever say so in that Jesus and it. was like just a pine box yeah oh yeah. yeah I've been to some of those man it's. a basic it's definitely a basic drop.

piece but it's uh yeah you want. something a little flashier I feel like. was your dad a pretty flashy guy oh yeah. yeah.

oh man that's why that uh damn man what. yeah man I wish there was something. especially we could do man I wish that. uh you know I I think it's amazing. you're able to be there for your younger. brother how how old is he yeah well wish.

you luck man I'll definitely check in. and see what's going on and and thanks. for sharing with me man and you know I. mean obviously a lot of the regular. stuff just you know keep your spirits up. and just know you're not alone and and. uh yeah it's wild how your dad came all. he came here to America and now you're. here like first generation that's pretty.

crazy man it's you know it's interesting. how like sometimes our parents have to. really make that sacrifice or make a big. move so we can have some opportunity but. I'll be thinking of you Johnny man and I. appreciate the call brother all right. you too man keep keep your head up man I. love you bro dang bro oh man you don't.

you don't you hate that like when. sometimes like Pete you know somebody's. having a tough time you just don't know. what to say you know and it doesn't. matter something you can say you know. sometimes it's not about saying anything. it's just you know letting somebody know. you care you let them know you care man. but yeah you're going through all of. this and then your dad goes to heaven at. the same time it's a lot of and there's.

international travel restrictions can. you even get to heaven right now you. know what are the rules you know and. then you take the flashy dad in your you. got your brother your cousin or whatever. kind of skimps on the you know I can't. believe they wouldn't the funeral parlor. themselves should put the guy in a nice. cast. you know but there's something also. beautiful about going over rolling up to. heaven in this that basic stroller bra.

and that basic frickin body boat you. know that plywood freakin in that. plywood you know rectangle ambience. there's something kind of you know. there's something kind of everyman about. it you know now he's like an immigrant. in heaven man you know now your dad's.

like a new I mean if there's anybody. that could survive heading into a new. place obviously you know that it's him I. mean he came here and did it you know. another beauty of this country people. can come here and live their dreams and. achieve their dreams. you know people can come here and raise. their son to be you know what sounds. like a very good young man you know. there's a lot of beautiful things that.

that that can go on in this country and. and that that's the freedoms. that's the freedoms people are allowed. to do these things you know so I wonder. what his dad would have wanted I wonder. what his dad would have wanted. I asked him I asked him one more time.

how his dad felt hey Johnny man I have. one more question bro I was just. thinking about your dad I was wondering. do you think he would have liked was he. more like kind of scared of coronavirus. or was he more like let's get out there.

and do you wish you would have taken it. seriously or do you are you like that's. my dad. [Music].

word man yeah I was just curious just. curious about because you know people. just have there's just different schools. of thought on how to handle it and but. no this is I think it's just important. to hear man well appreciate it man I'll. be thinking of you do it I'll be in. touch man oh I love you too many good. Wow.

it's interesting it's risky you know. it's risky and there's risky biscuits in. the oven baby. there's risky biscuits in the oven. there's nothing riskier then then I. don't think fighting for your life man. and that's what um that's what our next.

guest does and and he's one of a kind. and he is he has been the the interim. lightweight champion and he we're gonna. give get him on a zoom call in just a. moment should I put on some Bob nah what. cologne I think you gonna say Cologne I. mean that's cool. [Laughter].

Dustin the diamond Poirier man good to. see you bro. good to see you too man I like that. change oh thank you very much brought us. that old carnival chain baby yeah buddy. pick the animal on the wall yeah baby. how you feeling today good good yeah man. I just got home about an hour so going. eight we've got a good wrestling. practice in this morning man I'm grinded. nice man. yeah I saw you all the UFC putting your. tweets up and stuff the other night.

during the fight how did it feel to be. watching fights again man it felt good. it. freaking motivated me do it motivated me. so much I woke up the next day with a. different pep in my step you know I'm I. want to fight and I want to I want to. show the world what I can do man when. you were watching the fights was there. any part during the fights really like. where without the crowd being there. you're like wow that must have been. totally different or what are some. things that kind of stood out to you. that were either surprising or even. humorous even oh I was surprised at how.

patient and calculated gate she was when. he had Tony hurts a few times you know I. think the gay Chi of old would have just. ran in through Kosh to the win and tried. to finish him and maybe got. himself but he was very composed I'm not. sure if that had anything to do with the. crowd not being there maybe he's a guy. who feeds off the crowd ah you know. because the crowds going nuts and you. might just follow their lead. yeah just angry bird in there yeah. but uh you know he had a great.

performance dude showed a lot of growth. in it since his last few fights and uh. you know hats off to him he's a man yeah. you called that fight I saw um what made. you going into that when you're like oh. I I feel like he's got this I just. thought that Tony makes a lot of. mistakes and I didn't think if I was. gonna go to the ground I thought it was. gonna be a stand-up fight which it was. uh I just you know Tony's been hurt in a. lot of fights he said Tony actually. surprising man he's way more durable.

than I thought he was Wow. he's been dropped by pedis land over. nada. a few guys he's been hurt by he gets. hurt on almost every fight yeah but. their incredible durability man what a. warrior boy what would was uh was there. any moment in the fight was there any. moment in a fight where like does a. fight ever get going so good where you. wish you were in it or the fight going. so good where you're like oh man I'm. glad I'm not in that no I like that type.

of stuff of course I don't want to get. my brain beat up but when fights like. the gay Chi Tony fight or hat is. happening that was kind of more one-way. traffic but it was a great fight yeah. during those type of fights I just you. know I always go to sleep after watching. those fights and just pray that I get a. chance to be in one of those type of. fights and show the world you know that. my grit and my fortitude in there they. know when I watch fights like that I I. just want to be part of that violence. man wow that is the total opposite how I.

feel I would take this the man I was. very surprised with the Charles Russell. fight with your buddy yeah because in. you know Charles I trained with Charles. and he has good jujitsu and he. completely got shut down you know like. oh what the yeah because you guys work. with American Top Team right. yeah yeah and I've been training with. Charles probably since 2012 I've been. rolling with him and training alongside. him while he doesn't. he does have very high-level jujitsu do. you think he was just shocked do you. think that he I mean I think everybody.

was kind of shocked that Bryce was able. to pull off that type of you know just I. mean he turned in almost just like a. cricket you know like I mean he was just. you know he was a fright there he was. sunken in yeah I think what really. surprised Rosa I think is the Rice's top. pressure just his control on top and. being able to continue to get Charles. down like that that was not no I was. surprised man I was really surprising. that fire yeah yeah it was an exciting. night of fights um towards the end of.

the night did you I mean you like your. division lightweights like it's a. there's so many stars and you guys's. division after the did you have any. difference of who you wanted to fight. like her who you would like to see for. your next fight before the gate chief. Ferguson bout and then after did that. change um you know I always wanted to. get in there with Tony but but he's. injured I believe he broke his orbital. in that fight so he's gonna be out a. little while gate she's obviously gonna.

sit and wait for khabib to be out of. ramadhan and they able to fight again. which I heard them talking about uh July. or August maybe and I seen a couple. tweets about that time frame so I kind. of knew I thought possibly the loser of. that fight uh I could fight again you. know if gates you would have lost the. rematch would have made sense and also. if Tony would have just lost and not. been injured the rematch are not the. rematch but that fight would have made. sense so I really have no clue what do. you see what direction they're gonna go.

man but I want to fight yeah do you. think it's kind of unfair it seems like. everybody's willing to fight except for. Connor kind of and this look I'm just a. layperson I'm was just a fan and not. even a great and I'm and I'm also afraid. to fight people but uh but it seems like. from just a fans point of view that. Connor gets kind of put in this. different not class but he gets a. different treatment kind of a little bit. does it feel like that as a fighter or. no yeah he gets the he gets the pick. when and who and and where he fights and.

he's done a great job of maximizing his. earning potential and it is a business. right but if he's out there complaining. about the rankings in any other sport. what you do is you compete against the. next person in the rankings to climb. yeah so let's [ __ ] go. yeah are you feeling like um that it's. gonna be hard to cut weight like were. you noticing that as you get along your. career that you're like oh man that to. get down in 155 is gonna be tough yeah. it's very tough the last few weight cuts. were pretty hard to fight with khabib.

the weight cut was a little easier on me. because I put so much into it and focus. so much on it because I thought it was. gonna be a grueling fight and I knew I. was traveling across the world so I just. wanted to make sure I had that part of. the fight camp down so we went the extra. mile and I brought in a nutritionist for. the last few weeks and and we made there. you made every meal for me for the last. few weeks of camp and that really helped. me but it's not easy man getting down to. 155 is very hard for me and so and. that's the only like so for you guys is.

a weight class that's where you have to. fight at right 155 155 yeah if I jumped. up I'd have to fight at 170 pounds and. those guys are even bigger you know. those guys are walking around 200 pounds. so your next fight will you have any. control over that do you have a say-so. in it is the hooker fight still on do. you know you know they wanted us to. fight May 16th then they talked a little. bit about switching our fight to here in. Florida when all the stuff got scrambled. because we were originally supposed to. fight out in California in San Diego. then we're gonna let us fight at a. higher weight class they were gonna let.

us fight at 170 because the lack of. preparation and training it just didn't. work out that fight didn't work out it. was rushed I didn't want to you know. fight outside the weight class it was a. bunch of weird things and if they want. to book it I'll fight him you know I. just want to fight right whoever I need. to fight to show these guys that I'm. still the best you know the best the top. in line to get another title shot I want. to fight you know I just need to win. you're ready I'm ready yeah. so how many weeks notice do you think. you need to be ready for a fight or.

hours dude I'll tell you what there's. like one roll of toilet paper at the. Publix and there's you know somebody and. we're about the same distance and we. start spreading I mean I'm gonna fight. you're ready but I do four weeks. give me four weeks I'll be ready yeah. and that's quickly you know yeah so as. so as right now then so the hooker fight. isn't definite it's not. on right now right now your anything. could happen anything could happen and. but I came to South Florida mm-hmm. you know a week ago just to start.

preparing because I knew I want to fight. and I know they're gonna start pumping. out these cards now that they had their. first event back I think they're gonna. keep them rolling and I'm gonna be ready. when the opportunity comes how soon do. you think it could be until you have a. two-year and I have an idea of your next. bout I actually Saturday night after the. fights I sort of blown up Dana yeah they. know I joined show me you know just kept. texting them they told me I'm fighting. next month so let's go Wow yeah they. didn't tell me who that's exciting. though man that's dope man what if you.

and I might have just gonna like give. this crazy pass I look at my phone yeah. you'll fight tomorrow yeah. there's not even a fight part tomorrow. dude what what have you been doing. during the quarantine I know you've been. staying busy training cuz I'll check on. you I'll see your videos on IG and stuff. what else what else have you been up to. besides training well I've only been. here a week so I've been home with my. family for the most part since I got. here I've just been training and playing. PlayStation but my wife and daughter. come to meet me this weekend so um huh. man two weeks is my limit I can't do two. weeks without oh yeah and any new little.

Poirier kids on the books or what man. y'all got another little one in the oven. no not yet but uh it's coming yeah when. you don't shoot for a boy can't really. pick it but we'll see what happens yeah. I know you love being a day man sweet. pea looks pretty damn tough though she. is pretty tough she likes to wrestle man. I bought our trampoline. you know the trampoline with the cage. around it yeah of course you look of. course in your family you put a cage. around anything man you guys are ready.

to go so so but overall do you feel like. just watching those fights yell denied. it just really got you amped up and. ready to rock huh. yeah I I went to sleep Saturday night. and woke up Sunday more focused I felt. like something clicked you know I got my. my calendar I started writing stuff down. started writing a time frame down went. for a run woke up early today. got my whole day plan cooked my food for. the day I started a diet you know I'm. ready let's go let's go um were you. shocked at UFC was like the first sport.

back I know they wanted to man I know. Dana's a trailblazer and he. he likes to set records and and and be. the first to do things and I really. thought he was gonna do it I thought it. was gonna be the other card that got. cancelled in April I believe mhm I. thought they were I thought they were. gonna go through with that I just know. Dana how hard he pushes and and rallies. to get things going and but he is his. first sport back man. yeah word man well uh in a pay-per-view. you know in a time where everybody's. home and everybody's still cheering from.

the NFL Draft you know if they're. getting that kind of ratings I'm sure. the pay-per-view did well I know huh do. you um I had the question what happens. if if d if DC fights are in Ghana oh I. don't know man. I don't know we saw steep a outwrestle. in Ghana but that was a little bit you. know a little while back you know. Daniels a he's a heavyweight but he's. not a big guy he is not he's like my.

height he might be an inch taller than. me. Wow yeah yeah and and in Ghana is a huge. human being. dude he's big and I'm friends with. Daniel he can get it done but that's you. know one mistake in you but he was a. Strikeforce Grand Prix heavyweight. champion you know he beat a bunch of. other former champions too so win that. belt that in Ghana guys scary though man. dude man his arms are like long cars he. has like limousines in his arms right.

you say that they said like his punching. power was equal to like a Ford Taurus or. something so I don't know him do the. numbers but I guess that's a pretty good. car to be compared to that's a lot man. um have you ever have you been on uh. Mike Tyson's podcast no I mean I would. love to go I would love to go yes you. like some of you would uh that you would. be on rent yeah that Tyson ranch bruh. after the fight man he serving the. salads with marijuana and I'm over there. bro well dude I'm so excited for you man.

thanks for jumping on I just wanted to. kind of touch base and just kind of see. what you were thinking after the fight. man obviously you really enjoyed it was. what was the biggest surprise to you of. the evening you think honestly the. biggest surprise was was uh Tony's. durability because he got. clean often and you know he absorbed. most of it I believe in the final few. punches that he kind of turned away and. the ref stopped that I think the ref. knew something was wrong with Tony and.

obviously there was so great stoppage. his orbital was broken if they would. have continued to fight you know the. broken orbital could cause you to go. blind and a lot of bad things can happen. if you could hit while you're you know. structure your face is broken so great. job by the ref and but but I was really. surprised at Tony's durability man I. didn't I didn't think he was that. durable um would you have stopped that. uh would you have stopped the crews -. whoo - a fight that's tough because I. thought Cruz was you know building uh I. thought he was starting to and there was. only a few seconds left in the round.

yeah and it's a world title fight you. know man of course on this side is a. fighter. I want to let me go out you know I know. what I signed up for I know what I'm. walking in there to do I know the. dangers yeah let me go out all the way. so we know the fights over. and I feel like Cruz was kind of robbed. of that opportunity to be put all the. way out and or to get up and continue. fighting yeah you gotta let it play out. you gotta let it play out um UFC in.

boxing world obviously you know cross. paths sometimes have you have you heard. anything about a Tyson come back I heard. some rumblings of him maybe join a. bare-knuckle fighting and AM yeah bro. that's brutal I've been to a few of. their shows up into one I'm here in. Miami and I've been to one in. Mississippi and dude that's hard to. watch man and I love fights and I've. been to thousands of fights sitting. ringside and watching these guys bump. knuckles it's does it take you back to.

all does it take you back to a time like. in the beginning of your career or it is. it just a totally different ballgame. yeah it's a it's a you know I've never. fought bare-knuckle only in street. fights you know but I've never fought a. sanctioned bare-knuckle fight only at. Mardi Gras oh dude that's why don't we. go to Mardi Gras yeah in Louisiana right. yeah you too many guys won uh too many. fake Mike Perry's want to show up you. know yeah yeah I don't want them.

problems. I don't know but I know they are. bare-knuckle also fight assigned to. former world champion Shannon Briggs a. guy out here in Florida so if Tyson does. sign the toe bare-knuckle I mean these. are two legitimate heavyweight champions. of the world that could fight. bare-knuckle would be it would be. madness Wow that'd be crazy to see Tyson. bare-knuckle dude he's 50 something. years old Oh yup it looks like right the. way he's moving oh man each one of his. knuckles is like a fist they say yeah. powers the last thing to go real aging.

as a fighter yet powers the last thing. to go damn and that's what he had the. most of all power yeah. well cool may have best of luck dude I. hope you have a good time over there. with your family in Florida man and. excited to see you in the ring man. hopefully as soon as a month yeah they. said next month so somebody's gang man. Dustin the diamond 48 thanks so much. champ we'll see you soon yes sir thank. you all right cheers brother. and that is Dustin Poirier right there.

and and sports are back man it did feel. good to have sports being back it felt. good to I mean I can't I don't know what. the numbers were how many people tuned. in to that. but just to have people just to see. people doing something interacting and. to see people fighting in real life not. on Facebook was nice they should have. one round it's just too [ __ ]. Facebook put them out there huh put them.

little dirty bears out there in the park. and see them but no always a pleasure to. talk to - Dustin excited to see the next. step of his career. you know just exciting man to be in that. world you know just to be in that world. where just the fierceness of it and so. just to get in and want to get into a.

fight and imagine being in a fight and. knowing what you're doing in the fight. that was always the hardest thing for me. but I would get in a fight didn't have. no clue who I was doing I was not I just. felt like I was. not fighting that's what I felt like I. was doing a lot of times but no people. want to get back to regular life but is. regular life ever gonna be the same it's. a little risky you know it's wild man. it's a it's you know there's it's a.

rebirth it's a rebirth going on which is. just so fitting that Mother's Day just. passed because it's a rebirth you know. and what are we gonna do I like the way. that Dustin doesn't many show up you. fight we keep fighting we keep fighting.

man that's what we do what else I think. we did well for today you know this past. card was the first card of UFC that I. watched all the way through from top to. bottom man it was great and you know. Dustin brought up Bryce Mitchell and he. did a great job you know he were you. know really fortunate that he and Dustin.

and Urijah Faber have been our only UFC. guests to come in and and we've wanted. to have some more and maybe we will in. the future but you know I'm just I've. been learning about the sport but just. you know a lot of people are just. itching to go whatever their job is if. they's a fighter they ready to fight if. they's a milkman ain't ready to drop off. that milk you know they're ready to drip. that leche on their neighbor or on.

somebody. splash somebody with a little bit of. that white [ __ ] breast gunpowder. you know everybody's ready to kind of. get back and fight. I think we got I think we got to a good. space here I think I've we got to a good. space you know these are our lives man. these are our lives these are our lives.

and we got to live them you know we got. to live them so if you're struggling. with some motivation I you know I really. hope that you find it in and just take. that next step take a small step in a. few small steps make a big step and a. few big steps make a real distance and. you can be in a new space thank you guys.

for being here and being a part of my. life today and uh and you guys be good. oh I got the hiccups man I don't even. have anything add some water oh my god. well I'm not gonna waste your time or my. time anymore. not really my time this is the really. the most exciting thing that I do uh.

what else that's it man we did it we did. it you know I'm thankful to everybody. that gave in a call think you too. producer Nick for making this episode. you know making this happen today think. you too Dustin Poirier for for uh for. jumping on a call with us and and. gracing us with his presence to talk. about fighting you know he has a good. speaking of fighting he has a charity. called the good fight foundation and. we'll put the Lincoln in the YouTube.

here and and thank all you guys for for. continuing to fight man this is our. lives you know and we all have different. ways that we go about fighting but. but we don't give up you gotta be good. to your salesmen. and I'm gonna do the same for me man we. deserve it brother gang I'm just sitting. on your front porch wondering how could. I be so far from my home and my mind is.

somewhere else but when I found it our. patch up where it's been grown now I'm. just floating on the breeze and I. [Music]. [Music].

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