Rail Baby | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #409

all right. good day baby. um welcome back. or welcome forward. I don't know where you are. um but I'm happy to be here it's uh we. got a fire episode today. um we got a lot of calls have come in we. haven't done a solo episode in a while. you know so it's about time I feel like. and. um just a lot of just beautiful.

information and Intel. to get into and just. I mean it's just a damn little Christmas. I feel like in September today we're. back together we got Dalton is going to. be calling in you remember Dalton that. beautiful little rail monkey he got hit. by that train a while back and he got. trained out baby and um we were grateful. he's he's gonna call him we're gonna. have him on the line and talk to a real. human miracle. and see what that's like to just get.

that close baby I mean just get on the. damn fingertips of the Lord we're gonna. find out. um I'm grateful to be here with you guys. and I mean that and uh. let's get into it. [Music].

well I just broke up with my baby. [Music].

gonna come up. that right there baby if you like that. little that warmer. if you like to just set your damn ear. kettles on that warmer baby that's Eddie. nine volt on the come up.

and that's what I gotta remind myself. because there's two ways to go baby. there's two ways to go and I gotta. remind myself. I'm on the come up. and so are you happy September. as we migrate into the future we are. just I mean damn we're just like a worm. just eat just you know worms just eat.

the dirt. did you know that a lot of people are. like well how does how does the dirt get. from the front of the worm to the bag of. the worm the worm eats the dirt. and duties the dirt through the back. and that's what we're doing baby. were those [ __ ] time worms baby we're. just. we're just cruising baby. we're cruising cruising through time. together out here.

um. and it's happening fast man it happening. fast. hell you put your heat you put your ear. up to the. you put your ear up to the Future you. can hear the date you know. you put your ear up to the wind you. could hear the damn trick-or-treaters. getting ready. you could hear somebody pop you know uh. dusting off a damn Dracula mask. you could hear somebody whipping up a. pot of fake blood maybe people are. getting ready.

this is it's happening man it's Autumn. you know the tree's about to get naked. dog that's that's pretty crazy when you. think about it. all summer and all spring the trees are. like oh I'm wearing this I'm wearing. this. and then bam boy all them [ __ ] out. there in a damn wood orgy. there are things out there man. all these birds thought they're hiding. suddenly you see them [ __ ] they're. like oh [ __ ].

we better fly to Florida. it's that time baby it's that time you. know I really I do enjoy this time of. year I enjoy when you go from that. there's that week where it's like still. hot and then bam. surprise you wake up one morning. and you feel winter just you know. because Autumn is just winners little. [ __ ] uh puppy that's all it is. that's just winter taking a damn little. little dog for a walk that's all Autumn.

is. automate some automatic lasts a half. hour in some places. you go up to Maine you go up to damn uh. and or another anata Rico what is it and. not Eureka. no. what's the top of the country called to. the whole globe. that's Antarctica baby Antarctica.

you go to Antarctica baby that's fall. lasts about nine minutes up in that. bastard that's a quick you know damn you. can't even finish your coffee son. them winners there boy that thing will. eat your ass bro. that thing will eat your ass with nine. Knuckles baby. um. what's happening A lot's been going on. uh. we haven't done a solo episode in a. while. um. we're out here in the central East.

uh we have uh we've had an exciting run. of guests recently. we just had um. uh Tony cannon on and he is a Indy car. driver and he's from Brazil. and uh got to go riding out with. Mario Andretti he took me for a scoot. out in uh in one of his damn little bus. buggies baby we were out there. we hit about I think 200 something miles. an hour.

I mean I could [ __ ] I could taste the. the enamel in the back of my throat that. on from my own teeth bro that [ __ ]. really that [ __ ] will clear your sinuses. bro high speed. um. what else we got to we went down to Joe. Rogan came on the podcast if you didn't. hear that episode that was pretty cool. that was really pretty cool man he uh he. had been texted me and and invited me to. go on his show. and I was like yeah thanks I'd love to. come and then I was like well I know I.

got a space on mine that week I said and. I was kind of nervous to text but I was. like uh maybe you you should we'd love. to have you on ours and um and so that. was exciting. uh got to go and do that Bobby Lee came. on. that beautiful little. unagi bro that little uh. that little Vietnam Survivor you know. and sometimes boy I [ __ ] just.

that little ponzoo little Muppet son was. at a spot man I'll take that dude I'll. drop him off at every damn VFW in. America. and let some old boys in there finish up. on him you know what I'm talking about. ewo Jima Daddy. praise God brother. um. what else has been happening with me. uh oh we got to shoot a film we shot a a.

movie. or a film. movie film movie. uh we shot we shot that that was. interesting. you know at first I didn't really want. to do it. um. because it's a lot of time it's just a. lot of time. and. and I don't like giving up my time. honestly. it's a pretty selfish way to be. it's nice that sometimes you have to do.

it. but I don't like uh sometimes I I just. want to keep I kind of you know I want. to keep my time to myself. you know I gotta keep my time all in. like a little you know. I'm that little second Santa I got all. my seconds in a bag on my back baby. and I might you know you know take that. Satchel off and get a minute out to. somebody. give seven eight minutes to a little. dime a little Dame a little beauty over. there.

maybe give you know four or five minutes. to your boy over there. but otherwise I like to keep my time to. myself man. so for me that was a new experience just. saying okay I don't know what this is. going to be like I'm gonna commit to. doing it. uh. and so and I was glad that I did man we. just had a nice time. um. I got to do like this kind of like. that fighting scene but it was like this. kind of like like wrestling kind of.

scene with Johnny Knoxville. and uh. and that was you know. I thought it would be all I'm thinking. like all right how do I look like angry. but I'm I'm fighting or I'm you know you. know do I make like a face and I'm just. thinking of all this like what will I do. you know. well I S you know do I have to be real. lagged do I need to you know call. somebody and you know call him a [ __ ]. or something first or well I just feel. angry like how will I make it all work.

and we got there and it just everything. rolled out pretty cool. you know I didn't. I didn't uh. I didn't. overanalyze it too much just did it and. Bobby Lee was there so that made it a. lot of fun just getting to be around him. every day. because he's um newly single you know we. saw he him and his lady. you know they went their separate ways.

and so he's you know I mean he's most of. the day he's on the. just. hunting leg on the uh phone and internet. I mean damn. that dude he had people he he had put. some calling out on his. social media on his podcast for you know. I guess women ascending pictures of tits. and you know. Cooter or whatever booty booty Cooter. all of it I don't even know.

um and damn men were sending him stuff. and so he didn't know until each time he. click on the picture and sometimes I. said damn you know that you know it'd. just be one long tit you know with some. nuts on him like damn bro. that's a damn G cup that thing that. thing's a that's a unique looking tit. because he was getting sent everything. um. but that was a nice experience I'm glad. that I did it. um. and what else man we went oh I went and.

visited my brother out there in Utah. and it was in southern Utah. right by Mount Zion Park and it is I. mean it's. it is beautiful man. it's like Mother Nature's um. you know uh. whatever it's called strip club I mean. if she got her finest. everything it just every Mount Every.

Mountain Hill every little. thing it's just damn it's fine as hell. bro. you know you just want to suck your own. nuts bro it's just it's just that kind. of place Mountain Zion if you get a. chance to go there. um and my brother had moved out there he. lives in Springville or Springdale. right outside of the park or Rockville. and he'd um. we had some fresh raccoon he shot a. couple of coons out there.

and so we had uh some fresh raccoon. squirrel. Dove and I'd eaten Dove before. um you know when I was young I had a. couple brothers that lived by the. apartments and they grilled up a couple. doves one time. for Mother's Day. and I had some of that with them. what else uh. what else do we do. yeah that's just kind of what's been. going on uh just thank you guys for.

staying supportive of the cast and. keeping um and keeping things going. um I still got my sober days going right. now I have let me see. feeling pretty good look on my little. app. I have a 156 days. so that's been nice. uh to just you know feel a part of. something. yeah and it's been interesting man in.

going to those meetings and stuff you. know uh. and just hearing other people talk. honestly. you know sometimes. when other people speak real real. honestly. about themselves about what's going on. with them. it allows me to think honestly about. what's going on with me. it's like sometimes I can't really it's.

hard for me to get a clear perception of. myself. um or to think really like. real clearly unless there's but. sometimes in the recovery meeting some. if somebody's sharing real honestly. about what's going on with them then I. can. I don't know my brain just feels or my. emotions just feel safe to like. give me like a real insight into what's. going on with me. so a lot of times real nice to go to. those meetings and just listen.

you know and just hear. and it's funny because sometimes people. will put into words what I could I can. never it's like. I'll have little pieces of of what I'm. trying to feel. but I can't get the Mosaic right you. know I can't get the. I can't get it to really Jang up. and then somebody else will they'll say. it and they'll have just I mean they put. all my pieces together it's like oh man. thank you so much I've just had these.

pieces you know. um. so that's one thing that I really love. about the meetings. um. what else I want you guys to hit the. hotline and just I want to know who's. listening to this show. um just tell me what you do it doesn't. have to be really long you know. um this is Ricky and I work at a uh you. know I work at UH. Build A Bear you know I'm a associate or. you know I'm a uh. fur Handler whatever it is do it you.

know and just hit the hotline leave that. and we just I'd love to know who's um. who's listening. um. I feel nervous I haven't done this kind. of like a solo episode in a while. so I don't know why I feel nervous about. it but. uh that's okay it also could be. excitement. sometimes nerd excitement like hot like. it's we think it's nerves but it's just. like. it's just excitement.

you know I think we get we immediately. sometimes are I immediately so now we'll. say I'm it's anxiety but [ __ ] I might. just be a little psyched up about it you. know it's been a while it's been a while. since I've gotten to sit here and uh. and be in this seed and and um and be a. part of this program so I'm grateful for. that. all right let's get into a little bit of. news here we got some news that has come. in.

um I thought this was pretty fascinating. Florida Governor defends migrant flights. to Martha's Vineyard suggests more to. come so here's what happened is uh. DeSantis. who is a governor in Florida. and I always think it's interesting how. like if somebody there's a problem. somewhere people don't know about it. elsewhere but they'll have an idea about. it they'll be like oh well this is what. they should do this is what they should. do but you until it's right there with.

you then it then suddenly it's you get a. real concept of what the issues are. so that's why I think this is pretty. fascinating I mean it's definitely a. little bit a little bit gangster to be. using humans and shifting them around. um. but. it's interesting now that it's suddenly. a Martha's Vineyard you just imagined us. you know 50 low-key just loked out. [ __ ] uh. uh visitors just hanging out.

that's the part to me that see because I. love anything that bothers [ __ ] rich. people I love that [ __ ] if you could. bother the rich man if you could [ __ ]. tickle the rich with dirty fingernails. [ __ ] I love that [ __ ]. so I think anytime you can drop off a. couple of essays. um up in Martha's Vineyard baby let's do. it that's what I'm saying. you know you got MS-13 suddenly you got. mv13 baby you got Martha's Vineyard 13. baby.

you know that's my shit's gonna get. weird. so yeah I just because then people get. to see what what issues are like. um we had a border patrol agent on here. at one point I remember. and he was in charge of the Arizona. border. uh. for a long time. I can't remember how long maybe 17 years. and he was saying one of the biggest. problems on the board was that people. were coming over good people and bad. people.

were coming over and they weren't. prosecuted like even if they arrested. the people like two weeks later they. were coming right back because there was. no like legislation happening where they. were actually like the executive branch. wasn't Prosecuting them. and you don't until you talk to somebody. who's from there you don't really have a. good idea of what's going on. um so that's why I like this I wish. there was like buses of different. problems from different areas that were. just kind of cruising around the country.

and they dropped somebody else's problem. off in your area for a while and then. they take your problems and drop them. off of an air then they take um. you know like in Maine maybe they got. beached whales or something issue and. then they dropped them [ __ ] off in. Idaho and they're like damn bro you know. and and I just think it would be. interesting if different buses were just. just like oh [ __ ] here come this [ __ ]. trouble bus and you see whose problem it. is today you know like damn.

they got uh. you know. um like women aren't shaving under their. arms in Oregon or whatever or in like. you know somewhere and then them [ __ ]. get out you're like dang bruh I didn't. know it was like that. so I think it would be interesting if. there was a whole system of this going. on. so that's something that I think I would. like to see in the future is just like a. whole kind of uh. different issues from different areas. kind of cruising around that way.

everybody could get a little bit of a. taste. and see because then when you vote on a. national level and you have an idea of. your whole country. you get like a real idea. of. what real of what people's issues are. you know and for me a lot of that stands. people talk about racism all the time. and um. and they're like what you know I'll hear. people like in California talk about.

like the South uh but they've they've. they're not they didn't they didn't grow. up in South they don't understand some. of the intricacies and like the boots on. the ground. um every day. uh. uh existence of living in a place that's. had a lot of racism. um or black and white racism maybe and. so I think sometimes that's crazy to me. it's like well but you don't know you. don't live you don't have an. understanding you know you may have like.

a vision of it. and information but until you get that. understanding. so I like that man maybe it's just some. understanding buses that's not it it's. not like a problem bus it's like okay. here comes some understanding buses. we're about to understand this [ __ ] you. know and then it drops off and it's like. a surprise you're like oh [ __ ] man. uh so I don't know I think that that. could be pretty interesting mint mobile. if you don't know about it.

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Theo you know the best time to prepare. for growth is before the opportunity. arises. that's what ship station is here to help. with. you know I set up a ship station uh. before things got too busy so that. orders could get out correctly and. merchandise could get to people. no more limiting your business to just. one store ship station integrates with. every platform including Amazon. Etsy eBay Shopify Etc.

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with the promo code Theo for a free. 60-day trial. start today and get set up before the. biggest shipping season of the year. that's two months free visit. shipstation.com Click the microphone at. the top and type in code Theo ship. station make ship happen. a little more news here. um the uh female orgasm that gas em baby.

that uh that Betty bust you know what. I'm talking about. um it says female emission that orgasm. you know these are talking about women. that's uh those Gunners baby you know. them ejaculators some women they'll damn. you know what I'm saying they could. really uh. they really you know they got that. that freaking uh. they got that that Cooter Gleek you know.

what I'm talking about these women are. squirters they call them Gunners I don't. like using that kind of language but. they're real Gunners baby. you know what I'm saying though damn uh. they got that bidet just built into. their you know. but dussy you know what I'm talking. about they just. um you know the damn they could wash off. the back of a moth. at probably [ __ ] eight feet. but the female emission had orgasm uh is. confirmed in a new study.

that uh the fluid that is released is. from the bladder. there's long been a lot of chatter over. the years. um that it was you know female you know. they had like a special. you know you know semen pocket in them. or something I don't know. but uh or that it was tea it was like a. lot of women you know have a lot of. Tears built up in them and then they. just gun out all these tears at you but. a lot of us knew that it was urine. I mean it was urine and so there's a new.

study that was done if you haven't heard. about this and this is uh the. international Journal of Urology. um it says five women two in their. thirties two in their 40s and one in. their 50s dang baby. dang. grandma got that super Soca. they participated in this study all. women were able to. uh squirt they was these gunners.

and three of them. gunned out uh with sexual stimulation. and two of them with penetrative sexual. stimulation. so one of them was just kind of reading. the Braille or two of them were just. reading the Braille and the other one. was and the other three were using the. pencil. um and what they did was they injected. the women with a blue dye into their. bladders so they they could tell what. what was what or they drained them first.

it says. um a catheter was inserted before sexual. stimulation and the bladder was emptied. so they drain these babes. and then a mixture of indigo. and saline was injected into the bladder. um. sexual stimulation was provided. and it was videotaped and verified some. perv out there running this deal. and uh the secretions were collected in. sterile cups and it was found the main.

component of uh squirt fluid is urine. urine. so there you go we knew it was uh piss I. say piss or PP but I say piss also. mostly. uh we knew it was piss and it is. if you didn't think it was Fizz I think. you're a real Crave You. you knew it was piss it was Peace So. anyway. um.

yeah that's what women have been doing. they've been pissing. uh secret that's really a secret it's a. tops you know it's a real it's that back. up bladder though damn you got that. that thing really somebody can water a. plant you know or just dampen a. you know dampen a damn uh. I knew this one gal she could dampen. probably an eighth of a loaf of. Pepperidge Farm bro this [ __ ] really. had that. she had that baby hose backed up in her.

all right so that's a little bit of news. um what else. I want to let you know that um October. 4th through 7th coming up at a Lexington. Kentucky. over there they got beautiful broads and. horses and women. um October 11th Wichita Kansas uh I. believe that sold out they're almost. gone for the second show they're October. 13th and 14th Omaha and Denver. those are sold out we will add some more.

dates for those but it won't be until. the spring November 3rd through 6th in. San Diego at the Balboa theater. um I think the fifth show is up now we. sold out four shows thank you guys so. much. uh it's just man I'm really excited and. it's gonna be it's gonna be great I'm. excited to be back up there and and get. out and see you guys all those available. theovan.com. t-o-u-r a new story came out about the.

25 most dangerous jobs based on data. from the bureau Bureau of Labor. Statistics. um. so I peeped these up and the number five. one was garbage collectors. you don't think about it as being that. dangerous but you know that truck likes. to Chomp that truck will eat anything I. think we eat a damn baby stroller that. [ __ ] will eat an ex-wife if you you. know. if you you know did something wrong to.

her you know uh so you know that thing. doesn't really have much of a conscience. on it. and it it also people throw a lot of you. know semi bad food out in the garbage. so I'm sure you're cruising on the back. of that thing somebody threw a batch of. bad shrimp in there. and at first if you're like me if you're. in a car you see some food or something. you're like I'm not gonna have any but. for some reason three minutes later I'm. eating it. doesn't matter what it's like that.

gardetto's or whatever that [ __ ] I hate. it. you put a bag by me I look at it I say I. hate that. three minutes later I'm eating it I'm. eating these little [ __ ] toasts made. for damn elves or whatever I'm eating. I'm making a little [ __ ] sandwiches. putting a little peanut between I'm. eating it. so I can imagine it's the same thing. when you're out back there you you know. you're hiding on the back of that g. truck they always got two freaking uh. little recycle bunnies hanging off the. back of that [ __ ]. and.

and you forget somebody you know tall. you know somebody threw in some bad. shrimp you out there a mile later you. [ __ ] have two of them. next thing you know you. you six feet under the sea baby that's. it bad shrimp take anybody out a king or. a pauper. so I could really see how that is uh the. number five job. that is um unhealthy for people. the number four most toughest uh most. dangerous job roofers it says right here.

roofers. um you know them little lid monkeys baby. if you. that's if you want to put a top on. something they're trying to they're. trying to shut everything down and close. everything in if you're a roofer. uh I remember we used to invite this one. kid over to play uh to play at the house. and me and my buddy we would call him. and invite him he live across the street. but then we'd get up on the roof with a. couple pellet guns and uh just spice. them up spice his skin up when he walked. over.

and he he already had this little fella. had some uh he wasn't little but he was. he has some bone density deal going on. and uh. so partum was little and partum was big. you know he was just kind of that little. um that little wobble rabbit you know. that little shake it like a sausage you. know he just had that built into him and. uh and we're still all friends and [ __ ]. it was just childhood [ __ ] but if we. didn't have a roof that kind of [ __ ]. don't happen. so I'm not shocked that Roofing gets.

real real dangerous overall. number three we have uh Derek operators. in oil and gas mining. and that doesn't surprise me That's. dangerous because. I mean natural gas that's basically. mother that's Mother Nature has got a. it's just a fart that's hiding inside of. Mother Nature. that's all it is man natural gas all. that is man. so you telling me say you're laying.

somewhere right and some dude rolls up. with a needle and sticks it in your body. and tries to suck a damn. butt puff right out of you bro. dude I beat the elbows off that dude. he won't be able to hug anybody he won't. be able to hug correctly for damn 18. months. so that's all Mother Nature look that's. danger if you're trying to just you know. suck a big dirt puff right out of Mother. Nature's abdomen then you get you get.

sideswiped by her or whatever. I'm not surprised she's beating people's. asses and and really causing hell and. causing fatal accidents as fatal. accidents. so they don't shock me man any creep. trying to suck something out of Mother. Nature's gut is a real freak I think. they are real booty freak nature Style. this is uh I can't tell if it's getting. born to me or not but number two uh. aircraft pilots and it says private. helicopter and aircraft Pilots.

and I think the the issue with them why. it could be dangerous because there's. not as much with commercial pilots. there's more. checks and balances there's other Pilots. that they are all going to the airport. with and. but private you just call your guy hey. I'm ready to go you know we're leaving. in eight hour leaving in three hour. leave you know and he could be doing. anything he could be hopped up on a. couple blue shoes half an eight ball. whatever. so now next thing you know he's up there. he's navigating you know the rich then.

that's the rich man. if you get rich it gets risky. you know there's a cost to beat a boss. and. and so that's what I think they get they. get these Pilots that they're ready to. go but they could have been up to no. good right before. so you get some dude up there he's still. all you know geeked up. on some of that [ __ ] uh. on some of that nose broth baby you know. what I'm saying liquid cocaine.

and. he's he's on damn hinge up there he's. swiping on matches. and next thing you know he just swipes. your [ __ ] Learjet in the side of a. mountain. so I think that that's the issue with. that I would imagine. and the last one here is logging workers. login workers I mean you just get a re a. lot of a lot of people that are trying. to stay off the grid. a lot of people.

um and it's not really the tree you got. to worry about that much. because a tree only has two moves it has. one it has the fall. and then the real most dangerous move of. a tree the role. people don't think about that [ __ ]. people yell timber and it falls then it. [ __ ] rolls over nine people. because they don't have a nobody thought. of another thing for after timber that's. really just ignorance. so you get that Timbre but you don't get.

that double up on the roll people. getting damn rolled out you know all of. a sudden you know [ __ ] step dance. flat and y'all poor. so it's just. you know they don't have a good plan for. that I think with logging and the. secondary issue is this man a lot of. Cree a lot of just. crawdad humans out there I work with. this dude Ronnie bro. and they call them big hat Ronnie and he. was a brother and he had mental. retardation. and me and him got hired and um.

I was supposed to be the boss but he. didn't understand what that meant so. you know when he was bigger than me. anyway and so we were both [ __ ] we're. about you know we're out there doing. work for my buddy Richard who actually. died but. we're out there and Heat this dude bro. once they lit that saw up they gave him. that [ __ ] he [ __ ] cut everything bro. this dude cut [ __ ] bird feeders in. half cutting [ __ ] fences open didn't. give a [ __ ] he cut open a damn chain.

link fence bruh. this dude man we he probably hit four. trees in about maybe half an afternoon. that's due to cut a new [ __ ] bathroom. into your [ __ ] kitchen this dude. didn't give a [ __ ] bruh. so and he loved the uh Lakers he loved. the Lakers I remember that. and I hope he's doing well too. and he'd walk to work that dude leave. for work at 4 30 and get to work at. [ __ ] seven bro. and do walk to work.

just greased out natural God's grease. baby sweat. and he just like wants that [ __ ] gas. fumes hit him in that [ __ ] little. baby that little just that spinning. scissor sword bro he [ __ ] cut. anything. [ __ ] cut the damn Earth open dude he. didn't give a [ __ ] bruh. so I can see how logging is dangerous. because the trees and then the people. you're doing it with they're [ __ ]. what else we got some great calls that.

came in in the hotline as always. 985-664-9503. um we've had some good. good calls that came in here we go. hey Theo so I've been thinking. um I've been single about nine months. now my fiance cheated on me with. um a dude so I obviously broke that off.

thought I was disgusted but so he. the thing that gets me right he says. that it was only sexual and that. since it wasn't emotional it's not gay. I don't understand what do you think for. me I think it's [ __ ] gay if he's a. [ __ ] which I guess he said he was. and he has a penis it's gay right.

definitely gay. and maybe if they transitioned and hunt. the vagina but it's not but I don't know. just a question that's kind of eating me. up what um thank you for the call first. of all uh and I'm sorry you're going. through this and I appreciate you. sharing it I think this is a big Topic. in America right now and in the entire. world. um I think what your boyfriend or your.

your male. boyfriend or whatever I think what he's. doing is called considering gay or. attempted gay. because it's not really I'm going to go. and be gay and do gay. it's more like I'm gonna he's kind of. just. he's just wandering into the car wash a. little you know. he just kind of looking at the different. sponges and seeing how you know. different things soak and how the suds.

kind of roll off at different edges and. things it seems like. um. and so I don't know if that's gay you. know because he might like to some guys. like that I hear a lot about it you. would be surprised. I hear a lot about men they like the. titties and they like to have that. little wand kind of wandering around. that little door stop on it you know. because a lot of um. trans. penises aren't fully functional.

and you can correct me if I'm wrong. because I don't know anything. but a lot of trans uh people's penises. they're not fully functional penises. they are kind of part-time wieners or. they are. some of them are not functional it's. just like mistletoe for the for that. b-hole baby for that butthole. so it's just a little bait and then you. you know you hit him with that b-hole. baby.

um so. maybe he could just be super curious you. he may want you to do some new stuff he. may want you to put on a fake wiener or. fake um. dick. and. do something with them you know or hit. him with some fake dicks or something. while y'all are having sex I don't know. I don't know what he might want. um. you know. you could I don't know you could write.

dick on your arm and [ __ ] hit him. with it. I don't know what kind of stuff he's. into I don't know but it doesn't seem. like he's just trying to be gay it seems. like he's just kind of. just. you know I'll say it like this when I. was when I was young they had everybody. went to the water fountain. but there were some guys. that would go to the water fountain and. they would put their mouth on the thing.

and they would just take it all. they didn't want to miss nothing. they didn't want to miss a damn drop. they would suck it right off the [ __ ]. machine you could hear the machine. squeal a little sometime if a big guy. got on it. so you might just have a and I don't. know if those men grew up to be gay. or if they just like to get all the. data's like to get their water different. so you might not have a gay man you just. might have a man who likes to drink a.

little different than you. um. so it might just be more conversation. you need to have with this gentleman. um. because if anything he's just sound like. a real Curious man. but uh but I wish you the best of luck. it's hard out there. uh it's hard for everybody who's you. know looking for love it's just a it's a. real lost and found too especially as we. get older you're like damn.

you know this sweater has blood in it. you know you're like what is it's just. it gets dicey. uh we got a call here. um let's take this one here we go. uh Hey Theo this is Dylan. um I'm in the U.S army. and I just want to let you know I'm a. normal man. and that's it love you brother.

well. that's good man. I think that's. I think it's I think it's really good I. guess. you know and I appreciate that call too. Dylan. Normal Man. what is that. Dylan is a normal man.

I don't I have I know I've introduced. myself to women like that and it's that. is a scary they don't like that. hey I'm a normal man they don't like or. hey I'm not a bad guy you know some of. that kind of it's not a good way to do. it with the women. I've found. you know I remember one time I followed. this woman in San Francisco for like. four blocks. and I finally caught up to her this fast. woman. I finally catch up to her and I was like.

hey I'm not like a creeper or pervert or. something and she [ __ ] flipped out. dude. and I was trying to just. you know talk to her but. I don't know I've never even been in. that City before and also you know who. spilled wine on me. uh uh he used to play quarterback. who are some former quarterbacks Trevin. if you can look it up for the um San. Francisco 49ers.

Mark Purdy nope Trey lace Jimmy. Garoppolo okay someone does not follow. football no previous. earlier. who y'all got after Joe in there. Steve Young nope Jeff Garcia Jeff Garcia. here we go Jeff Garcia spilled wine on a. damn new brand new Banana Republic lime.

green button up I had. and [ __ ] was fire and I was so excited. to wear it and. and he spilled wine on a pretty nice. wine I thought uh malbat. okay thank you Dylan. take care of yourself Buddies. take care of yourself. um here we got a uh call right here. hey Theo man I've got this I've got this. topic this story I just need to get off.

my chest and it's it's [ __ ] in your. pants in front of a female and it's. happened to me a couple times but one. one time I really remember we had some. Panda Express the night before and I'm. I'm just getting to know her you know a. couple dates and uh everything's good. you know in in the night and I wake up. in the morning for work I'm like man I. gotta I gotta relieve this pressure in. my bowels but I'm late for work I don't.

know this girl that well I don't do that. to her bathroom so I leave and I get. about halfway to my car and I'm like. yeah this was a mistake. um I don't know what to do now I'm. looking around for a shrub or whatever. but we're in a shrub. what are you in Zelda or something. onward apartment complex so there's. there's not much cover to get around so. I'm thinking man I just gotta I gotta do. it right here by my door so I'm looking. around while I'm looking around about to.

do it she comes walking out on the on. the like on the deck or whatever you. know waving my phone at me hey you left. your phone dummy so I'm like [ __ ] I. start walking over there and I get about. halfway through I'm like [ __ ] throw it. down throw it throw the phone down to me. I don't know. throw it down no just come up here silly. I'm like no [ __ ] throw the phone down. now there's nothing worse than when. someone calls you silly when you have to. [ __ ].

there's not it it's like. do you there is nothing silly about me. lady. I am going through. I am. reenacting that movie 300 right now in. my pants and you know you're [ __ ]. calling me so hey silly you don't want. your food. I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] one of your windows. open okay onward because I'm you know. yelling at her I'm not going up these. steps I'm just seeping seepage coming.

out she comes down finally gives me a. hug gives me my phone oh bro is there. bro if you let somebody hug you. while you have [ __ ] yourself dude you. you sir are messed up man. you're a messed up dude bro and I don't. say that kind of stuff to people a lot. but that's insane man. letting somebody hug you while you've. [ __ ] on yourself. let that write that down.

and then read it a couple times. Jesus I'll turn around. and I'm sure she saw those skid marks. yep. huh. I look. I think it's your issue Bob. that's what I think. I think you gotta I don't know what you. gotta do man I got no suggestion for you. bro.

Dear God. oh. oh I can't now it just makes me scared. to hug anybody and you're doing that to. people dude but be well. you know one thing that gets me. sometimes in nightmares. I'll be laying there I'll be shut down. and Bam. the devil sends some thoughts. the devil sends a story. I don't want that. it's the same thing with my uh credit. cards if I have a high balance that.

thing's just Milling around. it's just. spooking me all the time. if High interest rates are making it. hard to make a dent in your credit card. debt it may be time to rethink your. options. keep more money in your pocket while. paying your credit cards off faster with. a low fixed rate loan from light stream. lightstream believes that people with. good credit deserve a better loan. experience and that's exactly what they. deliver.

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credit approval rates range from 5.73. APR to 19.99 APR and include a point. five zero percent auto pay discount. lowest rate requires excellent credit. terms and conditions apply. and offers are subject to change without. notice visit lightstream.com Theo for. more information you know you only have. so much scan on your body. it's one of those things you get a. limited amount.

of acreage. so you gotta you gotta care for it you. gotta do that. yard care. you want to keep it looking healthy. keep the soil looking fresh geology. can help. I use a nice moisturizer at night and. they get you a little deal of it and I. squirt it and I do it. it makes me feel some type of way. but in the morning I wake up dang I see. my smell self smile I say hey boy hey.

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and have smoother hydrated skin maybe. you want to keep that hydrated it's. important. all geology products are made with. scientifically proven ingredients. trusted by dermatologists and cosmetic. chemists. they offer the everyday face wash the. vital morning face cream. for the am and the PM you can do the. everyday face wash that nourishing eye. cream dang get your Lookers just flossed. up. and that repairing night cream dang wake.

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all right. um I am uh I'm grateful really uh right. now. um you know I want to talk to people. that have been through something. I want to feel something on this show. I want to talk to men and women that. have had a. that have had a walk. that a lot of others don't have. that have been through a journey. I want to talk to some miracles. you know. God's Little Easter bunnies.

and um if you know someone. who. people would consider a miracle. something they've been through. um it could be anything Avalanche. uh uh electrical storm. um. anything drowning reincarnation anything. if you know somebody like that have them. hit the hotline. 985-664-9503 or you can hit it and just.

say hey this person but make sure that. they're cool with it. I'm not cold calling damn you know. you know I'm not going to be cold. calling a bunch of amputees or not. um. but yeah we just I want to talk to. people that have just stood right there. on the welcome mat of Heaven. or hell. and um. I want to get close to something. on this show close to something real.

um and we're going to talk today to one. we got a man I'll uh I'll show a clip. from the past from um when he first. called into the show our boy Dalton. trained victim. and uh I'm looking forward uh to talking. to this man. what's going on uh my name is Dalton. I've been listening to the show off and. on for a while now if you mentioned some. of your uncle or I forget who got hit by.

a train I can relate because uh when I. was in high school it was probably like. 10 years ago I was actually hit by a. train. uh on the way to school I was walking to. school and I lived and uh yeah I don't. know if you want me to I can send you I. ain't gonna send me what dog. you're gonna send me some arms son I'm. just joking man wow. on the line there Dalton can you hear me.

I can hear you brother what's up baby. there he is. man you're a mirror you're a miracle. brother hey living a miracle wow maybe. that little boxcar bad boy son that rail. baby. all day hey yes man dude I feel uplifted. even just seeing you man uh thanks for. joining us for a little bit today. thanks for having me yeah man so you. know you've had a really unique. experience that other people haven't had.

you've been hit by a train. and it just doesn't happen to folks uh. can you take us through some of that. yeah no problem so when I was in uh it. was in high school I was in high school. about 10 years ago. and uh. when I would walk to school there was a. set of train tracks that every kid would. have to cross to get to school oh yeah. they might them risk sticks baby that's. what those are gang baby day okay sorry.

for interrupting you go on as high. school you're out there you're walking. to school. yeah no problem um yeah so in my mind. I've never seen a train go by on these. train tracks it like very seldomly does. a train go by on these train tracks. and it was right after Christmas and I. got a big set of headphones for. Christmas. and uh I was walking to school and I. would know when to look up I'm what like.

it's like uh across the street look both. ways but this set of trains I'm not. I'm saying you know it's. mostly my fault that this happened I'm. not blaming anybody for this but I was. looking down. with headphones on. and the train was going very slow and. when I uh think about it. if there was a camera on the situation. what had to have happened was the trains. going like this and I'm walking like.

this in perfect timing I step on the. track train runs over my foot hits me in. the head. it was only two carts long so it wasn't. a long train but oh really I went. underneath that little note and then I. hit you back out sorry man you went. right under it huh yeah and then I. popped back out and then I woke up. and then somebody seen the whole. situation somebody had to flag the train.

down. wow they didn't even stop what was going. on now were you um what what song were. you listening to. I was I was listening to Aussie. Revelation Mother Earth dang dang so. yeah that's kind of heavy metal. yes heavy metal on the heavy metal yeah. bro that's really wow I mean that's. almost like your ears are asking for it. they wanted that you know they wanted. the the heart the they wanted some real.

percussion going on they wanted the. heavy percussion section. um were you conscious after you come out. the bottom of it. I woke up after like just beside the. tracks I woke up I spit up blood I. lifted up my leg and my leg was like. completely like just limp like. everything was shattered in there and it. was just completely lit like a tongue. almost huh basically yeah a long tongue. and so um did it knock your shoes off or.

anything. see this is the weird part yeah it. knocked my shoes off and the shoes were. completely fine so I ended up wearing. those you kept wearing them well like. after I go to the hospital you know a. good pair of shoes. yeah I think I get I'd feel like I'd. burn everything but I like your attitude. you're just gonna go right back in there. and that's one thing that I really did. admire about you man was some of your. attitude I remember whenever you called. in you said that you'd been hit by a. train and some of the positive effects.

that had come out of that and that if. you if you could do it again that you. would do it again you'd run it back. absolutely. um I honestly think that if somebody. could go through a near-death experience. and survive obviously very healing. process like it's almost like God you. know sat me down and said you got to. take this more seriously you know like. I you know try and live. like you know I hope for tomorrow but.

you never know. yeah it's like God's saying I choo choo. choose you dog you know what I'm saying. absolutely now what are some things that. kind of happen to you like uh what are. some of the like um uplifting thoughts. and attitudes what what positives kind. of happened inside of you after that. like what adjusted if anything did. well I kind of felt like before that. like I was in high school and I was a. kid before that I was kind of like on.

autopilot and you know I would just you. know I didn't know who I was and I was. just kind of on autopilot in life and. after that experience you know it really. showed me that. you know I had to come into my own. character and showed me that life is. important you know like. um made me it's a part of who I am and. it made me who I am I wouldn't change it. at all I don't know where I'd be if that. wouldn't happen if that didn't happen.

wow that's really it's just such a. fascinating take on it man because I. think to be honest there's a lot of. folks out there that that are that would. like to I think get hit by a train but. aren't willing to put in the time you. know aren't willing to really you know. put their nuts on the you know in the. basket or whatever you know the ten. thousand hours yeah yeah. they're not willing to really show up. and do the work. um did it help you in any sense with the. ladies or anything that was there any. kind of did it have an effect on people. other people uh you know it is kind of a.

weird situation it has been a weird. situation I am that guy that got hit by. a train hell yeah I walk into the bar oh. you're that guy that got hit by a train. I'm like yeah you know it happens. but uh. on the ladies side you know like people. are interested or like it's interesting. but you know like. I don't know it as in uh I haven't. gotten any more any less ladies because. of it I'd like to think because my.

character yeah well it's funny I feel. like you and I almost look the same I. feel like you and me are some somewhat. versions of each other in some sense man. um now did it hit your penis or anything. did your body get mangled like that did. your wiener get hit out or whatever no. uh fortunately not uh it basically just. my foot you want to see it. oh yeah yeah yeah I think I do hell yeah. still this this freaks the kids out when. I show them but yeah but [ __ ] the kids.

man. whoa boy damn you got that Eternal peace. sign son. so yeah I lost three toes. and this is a skin graft on top from my. leg like from uh my thigh and and the. weird part is his hair grows on this now. because it's from my leg. do I shave my foot or.

hell yeah grow a little uh soul patch on. there s s o l e. dude that's phenomenal man I I love your. attitude um did it did it adjust the way. that you interact with people afterwards. did it have any effect on that I could. really see that happening well. like I said people you know I am branded. with this situation like you know. everybody knows it's like and I.

understand. how crazy it is for somebody to see. somebody it's like oh they got hit by a. train but uh the way I act towards. people. is I'm always talking about you know. life and God and this and that and you. know sometimes people get uh weirded out. but you know this is this is The Game of. Life you know. yeah man important it is important do. you feel like God was reaching out to.

you. absolutely. knock me off my horse and said you need. to take this game of life seriously wow. wow that's interesting do you feel like. it made you more religious it really it. really taught just you know Todd your. shoelaces directly to the Lord's you. know uh long hair. absolutely. um I don't believe in I believe all gods. are real you know whatever you believe. is real. and you know that experience made me.

really feel like you know there there is. an architect there is something out. there you know planning things putting. tracks in front of things you know amen. baby all the Lord you know what I'm. gonna tell you boy let's get it dude wow. man well dude it's just you know I love. your attitude man getting to see you. I've been wanting to for a while I've. just been kind of like kind of getting. well my just taking care of myself and.

um been having a lot of guests on but I. really wanted to connect back with you. man uh you've been on my mind uh just. because your attitude about saying hey. man run it back if I can have an. experience that brings me that close to. realizing the value of my existence. that I'm willing to almost do that that. there's that there must be such a value. in that huh I mean it must feel really. because you you can't just get that you. can't just create that. absolutely like I would equate it to.

like maybe you know a psychedelic. experience or like it really make it. makes me at least like I don't know. anybody else in there psyche how they. would react to it but for me it makes me. feel the weight of every day um. amen and that you know this is the one. shot we only get one shot one. opportunity this is it dude mom's. spaghetti son I feel you bro well look. man I'll I'd love to check in with you.

again man we'll send you some merch and. stuff like that and just uh get you. dripped out we don't have any dope ass. socks for you but uh yeah but we'll see. what we can do man and just thanks for. being alive man. um do you accredit anything inside of. you that you feel like uh. do you feel like you were the guy that. was supposed to get hit by a train if. people would have said before who's. supposed to get hit by a train you'd. think people would have picked you or. you think you just really you know just.

caught that lucky uh [ __ ] long bus. you know I honestly think it was. supposed to be me man like my. mental strength like I believe that you. know I'm mentally strong not like I'm. not trying to like boast or anything but. you know this is your life look dude you. got hit by the train you guys your time. to tell us. I just I don't know if the average. person would be able to handle this and. walk away from it you know normal I. remember when they wheeled me because I. was in a wheelchair they wheeled me into.

the psych ward and I'm just like they're. trying they're trying to see if I'm like. mentally this that or whatever yeah and. I'm like like I'm not having this like. you know I was it was a weird experience. but yeah it it didn't affect me funny. thing is is when I'm watching movies. with my friends and there's somebody. gets hit by a train in the movie. everybody looks to me yeah. and I'm like I'm like what guys come on.

it's only it's only a train I beat that. train yeah it's one train baby yeah you. [ __ ] won I'd better come back with. something bigger you know like yeah. that's what I'm saying dude I want to. see a UFO [ __ ] land on your back son. I'm ready for a [ __ ] blimp to hit you. dog I'm afraid to tell you the Super. Bowl Led Zeppelin yeah bro I think. anything's ready bro you'll catch a. missile in your mouth son you can do. whatever you want absolutely it did make.

me think of this just a second ago you. were talking about uh. would you say just a second ago before. you're talking about your first word. that wheeled me into the psych World. they tried to make you crazy yes wow. they tried to think he was like [ __ ]. or whatever because you've been hit by a. train absolutely you want to hear. something else crazy too yeah this was. at the beginning of the whole opiate. epidemic right this nurse came into the. doctors or into the hospital and she's. like we're gonna prescribe you Oxycontin.

and I was like no no I smoke marijuana. for my pain yeah and then she I'll never. forget this till the day I die she's. like. Oxycontin is healthier than marijuana. wow. and it's like can I get a new nurse this. is this woman is insane like you know. this is yeah can I get this [ __ ] a. train somebody ordered this [ __ ] a. train bruh. because that's it's unbelievable that.

someone that any human would think that. absolutely it was insane they were truly. selling it like. it blew my mind yeah wow. man well it's it's funny you die I mean. that that's a [ __ ] that's a dirtier. train to dodge right there man you died. absolutely wow well dude man I love your. attitude man I'd love it if we could. check in with you every now and then and. just kind of see what's going on. um where do you live at sure.

um I live in uh like around Niagara. Falls Canada so like right at the border. basically that's nice it's nice up there. yeah it's nice uh Niagara Falls one of. those seven wonders of the world I'm. I've seen it so many times that it's. just normal to me but can you drink. author you can't get that close to it. pardon do I drink off can you drink off. of it if you get close to it or can you. have to stay far back yeah.

that's fair I guess. um do you any of your scents is. heightened after getting hit by that. train anything do you do you feel like. you have any. unique I don't want to say Powers but. that's what people are going to want 20. hours okay do you have any unique sense. or any sense any heightened senses or. slash Powers absolutely like I was. saying like um I feel the weight of.

every day. a lot more like uh I was reading this. book and there was Soldier uh it was. about soldiers in World War II. and. uh they were at the point where they. knew they were in a situation where they. knew they were gonna die there was no if. ands or buts they know they're gonna die. and because of that every moment is. sweeter the next your next meal means. everything your next.

kiss means everything in the world so. and people like they these soldiers. almost like that feeling of you could. die at any moment and I don't I don't. claim to be like. you know like like a red dot on my head. like you know I'm gonna die in this. moment but I sort of feel like I you. know feel the weight of Life a lot more. you know. yeah yeah like there's just uh like it's. got us everything has a lot stronger.

taste to it every every moment. absolutely wow. yeah man you're out there baby that. little rail monkey Dalton. yeah run it back two trains baby look. man. I'm proud of you dude and I'm glad to. meet you. glad to meet you too Theo you know. you're an inspiration to all of us. creatives. especially because you're a comedian and. you know you make you.

you're not some glossy thing where you. you're a real person and you show us all. that we can make it be in us you know. we don't have to be this uh bigger than. life thing we could be us. well thanks man I appreciate that yeah. I'm just trying yeah I'm just it's hard. to be. anybody you know it's hard to be yeah. it's hard to be it's a real challenge it.

feels like sometimes and um that's nice. you to say man I appreciate it uh. and yeah I think you do the same man you. make me feel like hey it's okay if I. only got you know. um. you know if I'm if I'm missing Toes or. I'm growing a [ __ ] uh Sideburn on my. [ __ ] foot baby let's go. well to set you up as a [ __ ] I don't.

know if they make anything to cover that. brother [ __ ] missing out you should. sue them. [Laughter]. what's up thank you bro it's nice to. make your acquaintance and um when we. get up there to a show man we'll have to. have you come out and uh so you and I. can get to meet in person man absolutely. I've been waiting for you to come to. Canada man yeah we'll get up there soon. my tour manager is from Ontario London. Ontario okay yeah that's I've been there. that's close so um he'll get me up in. that area soon man but uh but yeah we'll.

do something nice then we'll send you. one of these bobble heads dude and get. you out there and get you some some. items or something that you want and uh. just thank you bro thank you for sharing. yourself with us and um [ __ ] yeah dude. if somebody get hit by a train and just. keep on just Trucking then I can do that. today you know so thank you dog. love you Theo love you too speed one. love amen baby you're a miracle thanks. Dalton thank you. a miracle right there.

a miracle. and we got to listen to him. and we got to learn from them. man I'm grateful for that today. it's a real perspective switch you know. it's a real perspective switch. it makes my problem I mean. my problems seemed like Micro Machines. right there. when you got a fella that's just damn.

that's just getting trained out. man. grateful to be alive today. um grateful to exist on this planet. um. working on staying in gratitude myself. you know. still battling some anger here and there. and. um. some I don't know if it's ego or just. you know thinking things are supposed to.

be a certain way expectation. you know I'd love to not approach the. day with a lot of expectation. I'd love to just. sit there and watch God paint. you know. but usually I want to get up and I want. to open up this color in this color and. you know I'll see what he does I'm only. giving him four colors you know. I'm giving him this brush I want the.

wide bro I want. instead of just sitting back and saying. all right. let me see what magic. this big dog. is gonna do with the canvas of my life. you know. what's he gonna paint what's he gonna. put out there. and just not to look for the end product. but to enjoy the uh. the colors along the way.

um. you guys be good to yourselves man you. deserve it you can hit the hotline. 985-664-9503 I know we owe a couple. calls about some anger a gentleman that. called in a while back about anger he. was dealing with and I want to get some. response calls for him didn't get to it. today. um but we will in the future. um thank you guys for supporting my. podcast and being a part of my life. um. yeah. I think that's all we got today. love y'all man gang.

[Music]. this is uh. whenever you're down out in the cold. there is a lights. by the stone keepers. David Manuel. [Music]. walk with me. [Music].

there is a light shining for you. guiding your way. [Music]. I love that hit but you know what man. that's not getting me all the way there. I'm gonna finish out the way we came in. baby. you know. [Music].

I've been so blue. I'm gonna come up. it feels so good I have a brand new view. s. [Music].

You're Gonna Come. and it's waiting to see but when are you. and me we got so much love and in. chemistry it's gonna come up. [Music]. well good things. [Music].

[Music].