Pink Eye in Charleston | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #252

[Music]. guru dude dude. [Music].

[Music]. happy new year almost go.

little town won't be for me to set that. parking brake. I'm a song singing Oh shine oh yeah what.

sound do you make if you if you if you. step on something that you don't want to. be stepping on I do that a lot of yeah.

and sometimes if it's really uh I'll do. that sometimes broth I'm really feeling. soft you know like if I've been. pleasuring myself and I don't have like. a lot of man power in my body and I and. I step on something and I step on my um. a thumbtack or uh you know a sewing. pointer needle then I'll then I'll do.

that you know I'll make that sound kind. of good now that wasn't that one's too. fake out that one I don't really make. this is the end of the year this is the. end of the year 2019 2019 we knew it. would end we knew it went in when we got. into and Santa's come everybody's popped.

through Santa who else. Wolverine who else came out this year. the Avengers I don't even know everybody. it happened it's done 2019 almost in. hell libros in the books in the books. and I'm just trying to get some of the.

sounds that are stuck in my body from. the year I'm trying to just get them out. of me you know you ever want to do that. sometimes I just want just oh sometimes. I just want to get a little bitty. frickin evil person just like a little. bitty mmm just like a little devil and I. just won't just choke him uh I want to. choke him ha. okay good to be here happy almost New.

Year to you I hope that the the holiday. was a good one for you hope that you got. what you wanted you had fun you are you. did what you wanted to do I went down to. Louisiana and I enjoyed myself you know. I watched the children open their gifts. you know the kids got you know Bobby and. Janet got us got scooters you know.

little Leroy got a damn you know. tickling doll or something it wasn't a. Tickle Me Elmo but it was just like a. kind of a cheaper one and it just. somebody wrote tickled me on the side of. it it was like a tickle me uh um he-man. or something or tickle me um I don't. even know it honestly looked like a. little bit of like a kind of a soft. statue of Al Roker but you know some. bootleg toys and [ __ ] like that.

as you Christmas man anything you could. get dude if it's an infant to you give. him anything brah give him a little. [ __ ] give him a little love a little. dime sack of sawdust you need to give. anything to a beautiful infant but I had. fun have fun spent time with the the fam. hung out with my mother we had a nice. time I gave her some earrings um my what.

oh the kids got merged my nieces and. nephews got merged man and they were. stoked about it so that's that that's. you know I didn't just pick it. and I ordered it for him you know I'm. not just [ __ ] you know doing that but. yeah it was good man what else I went to. we did the charity show in Lafayette. so thank everybody that came out out. from there we actually had a caller that. call in about it let's hear this yo what.

up Bo nothin. what's up Dustin thank you for calling. brother homeward I just think you're. showing Lafayette and I was waiting live. for a meet and greet and I had to pee so. my girl gave me a water bottle to go in. the car and you know run big yellow oh. yeah dude I know what you're talking. about bro doing that little uh just just.

doing that but just doing that self drip. by yourself and a car peeing into a. thing yeah peeing into somebody's uh you. know peeing into a water bottle or. peeing in a you know if somebody has big. hands and they put them together like a. bowl for you or something just something. you don't have to use a regular plumbing. vestibule homework well I work around. them and left the cap on and I peed on. myself while waiting in line mm-hmm.

but we still got it done and I still met. you the show was awesome gang gang gang. gang bura. that's it or as my mother said when she. was leaving the venue the other night my. mother came out my brother and his. lovely wife came out she said gang gang. darling that's what she said that I've.

really that really freaking just that. made me laugh as real funny um but thank. you thank you thanks for coming out. Dustin and the fundraising the meeting. read all of that for Dustin Poirier. chariot a good fight foundation it was. fun Dustin came out his beautiful wife. you know it was just. man Lafayette really showed out. they really showed out man so thank you. for everybody that came South Louisiana.

and and just people people came from all. over and it was it was a time boy it was. a time uh yeah I do look I feel you man. I've done that thing were you trying to. pee into something and college a lot of. young men will pee into things instead. of going to the toilet you know you pee. and you know you'll be in a couple of.

milk jugs or or something dude I'll tell. you this they had when I was um working. in Charleston when I was working in. Charleston South Carolina. they had a smoothie outfit over here I. worked it and it was a bootleg kind of. health and wellness shop and it was. called frozen options was the name it. was like a startup smoothie deal frozen.

options and self-tanning eventually was. but that came later but so and they had. a manager the guy was just some guy who. was basically trying to hire people and. then have set you know trying to hook up. with the lady you know trying to hire. cute chicks or even busted chicks and. get him to do a lot of tanning until. they looked attractive and then make. love to him you know I think that was. kind of some of his you know business. model because he was kind of sad on the.

inside a little but anyway yeah I worked. that frozen options right and uh I don't. know why I thought of this but so at one. point we got the tanning beds and they. had a man that came in one time an urban. gentleman bra you know kind of you know. a darker man and he wanted to do the. tanning bed and so I'm like uh you know. I'm like you know I you know you don't.

want to tell anybody know that they. shouldn't do the tanning bed but this. guy you know he's already God kind of. put him in the tanning bed a little. already so the Lord's got his you know. he's got that base and because I never. seen a black guy get into a tanning bed. before so dude he would come he would. come and about the third or fourth time. he came I realized something I'd have. been wrong with him a little bit but I. don't know if something was something. also might not have been wrong with him.

he could have not been wrong you know or. nothing but but anyway he do said the. crazy this is said the wild part is I. used to get high back then let's gonna. smoking a lot of weed and making exotic. shakes for people. somebody roll in I'd hit him with that. [ __ ] peanut butter and menthol. [ __ ] that medium bruh. there you go there like it's not cold. I'm like who gives a damn. they said it's called frozen options I. said well this is one of the options. baby ok one of the options is not cold. right and you got that you know I.

[ __ ] hit somebody with that pineapple. walnut little baby shake you know I'm. gonna kind of do it I'll [ __ ] just. squeeze for cherries just just strangle. for cherries in the palm of my hand and. then just drip the just open my hand up. and then just drip it right into your. mouth you know I put two blueberries. under your tongue Brown how to [ __ ]. pecan in you ass bro and slap your. cousin dog and that's a right there. that's 475 you know I'm the kind of guy.

serving of different options so anyway. do this stories a little bit vulgar but. you know talking about urinating and. having a you know handle body and handle. body you know things that come out of. your body in places but anyway so one. time the man went in there and he had. something that happened to him and I. heard him laughing in there for a little. bit or yelling or something I'm not sure. and dude I'm not the kind of look if.

somebody's in a tanning bed and they're. doing going through some [ __ ] I'm not. the I'm not opening that [ __ ] shot okay. it's a night during therefore nine. minutes or 11 minutes I think this dude. and he was getting blacker he was. getting more bro you know I mean he was. definitely I don't know if he was trying. to get better at sports I don't know. I still have no idea why this man was. trying to get darkened out but he was. [ __ ] you know he was really he.

started out about like a like a like. i'ma homes and he finished up like. around a little bit of like a kind of a. kind of a kind of more of a crisp ding. Denzel. so that's really the range he was in you. know or but anyway so anyway he had a. but about bowel accident or a BM a. grandma these two call it you know when. you basically you have a boot you know. you you do throwing a little booty work.

out of your you know it's this is sorry. this vulgar to talk about but the man. had a poop or something in the what does. that thing call Space Shuttle no it's a. uh like a hot like a little toaster [ __ ]. I was just talking about it tanning bed. the man had a little accident there well. dude I'll you know I'm working in the. shake shop run this was a startup so you. know maybe you got two employees so the.

other employee was this chick dude and. she was bro this chick was addicted. attaining but anyway so anyway I had to. go guy had to clean the thing I had to. clean the I had to clean the the self. detain embed of the you know CC brough. ESI's or whatever excrement but dude I. don't know anyway so I don't know if I. cleaned it that good or what happened. but anyway over about the next probably. three months dude probably about.

probably about nine people got pinkeye. from the tanning bed at frozen options. and self tanning and and damn do dive. and then I would start seeing people. around town with pinkeye and I would. just feel bad bruh and I knew I do I. clean that thing so hard but I think I. just you know you can only it's a it's. the dark arts man you know you can only.

clean if somebody's been in a bunker in. a [ __ ] in that body. her just getting that tan on and you and. they blow up you know they throw some. body workout into the deal out of their. bottom you can't always no matter what. you clean it with I mean you know the. Lord Himself could hand you a mop and. you're not gonna get it all up but uh. and then dude the place went under and. we sold the they sold the tanning bed so.

I can't even imagine how many people got. got that itchy eye but you feel me. but hey things happen man things happen. sometimes so if you've ever had pinkeye. in Charleston I'm just singing man. that's one of the options dude that's. one of the options bruh because I worked. in the smoothie place dude Armour one. time this lady came in this lady was a.

damn Muppet and she looked at the sign. and all the different fruits and. different options and she came up and. she goes what's blueberries and I. [ __ ] lost my because this lady is. probably off 40 years old. what's blueberries and she just had. never heard of them so but then on the. same foot manner on the other side of. the bunion or whatever they say I got to. also serve that lady the first servant.

of blueberries she ever had you know. because that's what I do doll I'm the. kind of guy bro you know I'm saying I'll. put [ __ ] five blueberries into an. oyster close that [ __ ] up put it it put. it in your mouth from [ __ ] braid your. hair bro and that's [ __ ] nine dollars. dawg that's a medium that's a medium. that's how I do it dude you know I'm. saying I'll take a hit off of a hot junk. blow it in your cup blow it straight up. your cousin's frickin piehole bruh you.

know that that that just just. shotgunning it right into his mouth you. know put a necktie on his ass. take him to [ __ ] up take him to uh you. know take them to our arm down by the. train tracks and [ __ ] tickle his ass. until they're number six comes. and that's $7 dog that's a large so. that's the kind of that's that's who you. get that's what you get from me when you. get the different options but thank you.

for coming out man thank you for coming. out over there to the show in Lafayette. I got some shows coming up I'm going to. Europe. literally in like five or six days I'm. going to Europe coming up I'll be in I'm. gonna be in Manchester England Dublin. Glasgow Edinburgh no I'm not even sure. it's some other places places that are.

still on sale are Oslo Norway January. 14th Stockholm Sweden. January 15th Las Vegas Nevada I'm coming. back January 31st and and February 1st. at the Mirage Oroville casino I'm coming. back I've been there about two years ago. February 15th that late Valentine's Day. hit her get that love hitter that.

[ __ ] that little lay order monkey bra. feed two bananas to your lady bra and. I'll tickle her until she starts. swinging from the branches you feel me. that monkey play Toronto February 20th. is now on sale the other two nights are. sold out and then Oxon Hill Maryland. February 26th as well Denver January 20. I think fourth or fifth or sixth or. maybe all three of those dates all the.

tickets are available at theof on calm. slash tour what else what else is. happening I don't know ah you know I've. been thinking about doing I'm thinking. about maybe looking for a different. place to live I don't know that's all I. got dude. I'm excited I think for the new year is. kind of scary at the end of a year.

but it's nice too because it's a. reminder it's like the calendars like eh. eh eh eh 8 8 8. eh like oh yeah oh yeah you know it's. like a little bit of a free. procrastination kind of or free like hey. here you go. it's like a remind like hey hey hey hey. hey remember like oh yeah yeah because.

if there was like 2000 months in the. year. [ __ ] you might never even make it to. summer let's get a UH a call that came. in to the hot line right here nine eight. five six six four nine five zero three. is always the the is always the deal oh. let me comment on this Bobbie Lee who. obviously named after general robert e.

lee and a lot of you guys know Bobby. Lee's a beautiful um Korean or semi. Korean comedian and he has a podcast. called Tigers belly which is also a rare. food I think it's a rare food and it's. also a nickname for diarrhea which is. then a nickname for Nick Swardson but. I'm gonna tell you Bobby Lee decided to.

uh drop a little oh my yeah which is. French and also I think is a cheese to a. boy by getting the same haircut so Bobby. you want to step out here new to my. territory bruh that's what I'm seeing. here but let me tell you that it's not. just a this which you wandered into. Robert is not just a style man it's an.

embodiment of something bigger than. yourself. do this it's that BYO Tarzan bro it's. like having something just swinging off. the back of you you know what I'm. singing dude. anybody could just have hair think tons. of things have hair dude even some women. have a little bit of hair on their chin. bruh you know and they might work at the. library or whatever but what I'm telling. you Robert or Bobby as you go by which.

is obviously a racist name but I'm. telling you this Bobby that you can't. just just try to M body my [ __ ]. follicle karate bra you feel me you. can't just try n duplicate my Gator Cape. baby okay. because you hear when I turn my head you. hear that [ __ ] off you hear that tail.

flip around bro that thing that thing. will bite a baby at Disneyworld Brian. playing this hair cutting playing Robert. and I saw you the other day Bobby and. you look like rosie o donnell that's. what she was looking like man with your. long hair I seen it and now you're. trying to come at your boy and the slept. Kingdom wants to challenge the rat. Kingdom well let me just tell you little.

daddy that this is a working man's cut. the sidon one of these sleeping cuts. that you like your hair before would. have tested positive for tempur-pedic. miss what I'm saying isn't you're gonna. have to wake up Bobby because the. haircut you have now that you've grown. in that you come into this adult men's. haircut before you had a children's cut. you know kind of a thick child maybe.

that it uh never done well on. standardized tests and then was put into. a unique school for children that learn. more by shapes and by you know soft. items but now you have a real senior's. haircut man a man's cut and this is a. full-bodied style you know this thing. has aroma coming off of it you know you. got the haircut now man a look I'll tell. you sometimes I turn around and there'll.

be six raccoons behind me and two of. them doing dice bruh and one of them's. cutting up a ground so it's just you're. entering a realm that I don't know if. you're prepared for and I don't know if. you're welcome let's take a patreon. question here have you watched D'Elia on. the show you know I haven't and what are. your thoughts on him playing the. ultimate creeper of children I couldn't.

wait to hear your thoughts you know um. Chris D'Elia is he's the embodiment of. the dark arts and people know it and he. knows it if you put your ear up to Chris. D'Elia his hand you can hear a bunch of. [ __ ] you know and there's a lot of. rumors that go around about him you know. somebody said when he was a baby that. they had other babies that had to live. in his crib and work for him and they.

would do all kind of stuff and those. babies wouldn't get any milk and some of. those babies they would they just they. get so dehydrated that their eyes would. be dry and sometimes I started giving. them water he would crawl over by them. in the crib and just lick their eyes man. that hurts me knowing that that he could. have done that kind of stuff and there's. other stories out there too about him.

you know somebody said that his hair. actually is armpit hair from a very tall. man's armpit and that Chris kind of. bored the guy to death one night by just. yelling oops over and over again and the. guy finally couldn't take it anymore and. his brain and heart shattered at the. same time. and then and Chris trimmed his arm.

the man's you know that pit hair that. [ __ ] tertiary little that little. because the armpit dude it's almost like. a vagina there's no entrance and and. rumor is that Chris then trim that hair. there and sewed it into his own head. yeah so it's just you know there's a lot. of there's a lot going on out there. and you want to be prepared that's what.

I'm telling you you also want to know uh. that it's it's it's the time of year. where you need to look real hard in the. mirror and that's true man are you happy. with where you are and you could be. anywhere Hawaii Toledo bankruptcy did. you make the right choices with your. life are you the person you want to be. if you're listening to my voice on this.

podcast right now the answer is. obviously yes that being said so much of. getting what you want in life is. learning new skills and there's no. better place to do that then Skillshare. make 2020 a year where you explore new. skills deep in existing passions and get. lost in creativity with skill shares. online classes would you find just might. surprise and inspire you personally I'm. taking Simon cynics how to share ideas.

that inspire action because we talked. about that kind of stuff on here skill. share is an online learning community. that offers membership with meaning with. so much to explore real projects to. create and the support of fellow. creatives Skillshare empowers you to. accomplish real growth it's also. incredibly affordable you can take. classes in film and video music and. music production productivity and. finance an annual subscription is less.

than ten dollars a month. explore your creativity at Skillshare. comm slash Theo. Vaughn and get two free months of. premium membership that's two three. months at Skillshare comm / th EO vo in. alright let's get to another call here. as always the hotline nine eight five. six six four nine five zero three hasty.

okay Gary brother gang gang amigo or. friend homeward hey my name is Jesse had. a Stuart Florida here out of the sewer. Florida I've never heard of that man but. I'm not shocked a lot of stuff happens. in Florida a lot of things man the first. 48 synchronized-swimming shipwrecks what.

else a lot of waterborne disease and. also the NFL Super Bowl will be there. this year and that's where you may see. the New Orleans Saints in Wilin Saints. let's go on Jesse homeward and I used to. know a guy named Jesse - and he was a. Christian prizefighter and uh and he. would often beat the Lord into some.

people gang let's hear it just want to. call it man I was just listening to. podcast my way home from work. and I heard you guys talking about the. single mothers thing like what you guys. doing for them you know it just got me. thinking you know how much I love my. mother and you know I just wanted to. call and say thank you for let me let me. feel that feeling I guess film this film. is overwhelmed and set the sense of love.

for my mom right now you gave that to me. alright gang gang gang bruh you're. welcome man you know when you it's funny. cuz when you just said that it made me. uh you know I sometimes I just get this. feeling in my face it kind of starts. behind my nose a little and then it gets. into my eyes and it's like a Fitz. emotional feeling and then I can feel it. a little bit in the back of my throat.

yeah and it's like this emotional. feeling man and yeah I appreciate thank. you for the call yeah I got to see my. mother this past weekend and you know. it's and we had three single mothers. that came out too I want to thank. everyone from patreon for support and. and all of you guys just for listening. supporting for supporting the the ads.

and you know last year we sent some. Christmas cards with the financial gift. to all of the single moms that have ever. been associated with the show and I'm. not saying that because I want you I. need any sort of oh you're you're like. you're cool do or anything like that I. just you know I want these moms to know.

that we care about them and that we. don't forget about them because that's. important you know it's important not. just to let moms know that but you know. it's important that people know that. that they are cared about but know we. had some beautiful mothers that came out. and it was nice for my own mother to be. there in Lafayette it was nice to have. the single mom of three beautiful ladies. we had dinner before I'm actually gonna.

give them all a call tomorrow and and. we're gonna do something nice for them. but but just want to thank everybody for. supporting the patreon and I'm glad that. you had a nice thought about your mother. and that you had a thought that you know. that's bigger than just in our brains. because I like the thoughts that make me. that get in that are that uh cause. anybody could get a thought in their. head man I like a thought that takes. over my being you know a thought that. comes from somewhere.

I don't know from somewhere that's. bigger than us gang [ __ ] dawg that's. what I'm trying to say dawg you know. what I'm saying and that's the [ __ ]. medium bro. oh you coming you don't have any shoes. on over a frozen options dude oh well. how about this bro I'll throw up throw. [ __ ] half a grandma oat milk a couple. two Winston's in there dude - Winston. Long's in there 1:12 you know I throw in.

a two scoops of strawberry you know a. little bit of creme de cocoa bro that. coconut crema and I'll [ __ ] whip that. [ __ ] up and pour it right into your. damn brassiere and chill them tits off. you feel me and that's a large right. there so I'm just telling you how frozen. options we got different things you want. pink eye from the tanning bed we got it. so shout out to anybody in Charleston.

South Carolina who has ever gotten pink. eye to go with that base bro if you got. that that healthy base tan you may also. if you got that itch bro you got a. little bit of downtown and you uptown. you fill me and I tried my best to clean. that bed man but we were understaffed. over there my god we were understaffed. and it just we were better than that but.

also was that man doing coming to tan. bruh cuz you know I remember in high. school they had kids who would kept. trying to tan because of thinking they'd. be better at sports and [ __ ] you know. and we had one dude this got Clint and. he was brah he he looked like he [ __ ]. like he was best friends with the Sun. because he just looked damn I mean he.

could have he could have worked at the. n-double-a-cp he was dark. and but it did he didn't look like a. black eye or like you know he didn't. look like a black kid he just looked. actually I guess sometimes he did cuz he. did he didn't update and you know he. ended up getting hit on more often by. black girls and this is also you know 18. years ago or whatever but damn bro you.

know people do anything to try to be you. know to get above the rim they really. will let's take another call here we go. hey oh hey Meredith Tobey Tom play. what's up Toby and I used to live near a. boy named Toby growing up named Chris. Jones and named Toby and he never said. much man but he always had a little bit. of a grin on his face and then I asked.

him one time why did call him Toby and. he didn't know let's hear more from. right here in the booth Baton Rouge. Louisiana actually I lied on the Prairie. Village there but over there. Prairieville my sister I used to work. over there uh. over in point where's it right across. the river she work at the bar of a Terre. tiger lion tiger Plaza our son Tiger bar. in Pierre part she over there across the.

river bra gang anyway man. I uh I was inspired the other day I just. discovered you show a few weeks ago and. a gentleman called in and he said he was. had that monkey on his back and he said. he was fighting his addiction and that. he had three beautiful kids I've been. depending on him and he was reaching out. in the whole time listen I'm going he is. telling me you believe in and tell me. believe in him and I almost picked him. phone right there and called but I. listened to the rest of it and you said.

dude I believe in you and that's awesome. and I just wanted to tell that guy I. don't think he left his name but I'm. sure he's probably listening to your. podcast a man I believe in you too and. your kids probably the kids believe in. me and they depend on you and you know. that man I'm going to keep on doing it. bro. just keep doing what you're doing and. showing up man you know Kenny gaining. and. we get that hitter I don't even know. what that means yet because I just. started looking to your show but sounds. cool I'm gonna say anyways alright keep.

on doing the same for a piece of love. enjoy your holidays bro Amen man and. Happy New Year to you yeah man it's why. when you when somebody's going through. you know that toughness when somebody's. because we all take turns man we all. take turns on the merry-go-round and you. know and it takes us around and sometime. it's taking you by two gumdrops and. sometime it's taking you by the you know. the ladies out there with the frickin.

you know with the soft it's and. everything and the scooping you out. freaking you know a little souffle or. something and sometimes you come around. and you pass uh you know a beautiful. garden and sometime you pass a knife. shot and sometimes you didn't you pass a. mirror broom we all go around those time. when we passed that mirror and you get. that reflection to yourself and you you.

know we just you get you know but you. get a reflection like I wish they had a. mirror that was like for our feet for. like who we are brought like the inside. of us I wish they had that mirror where. you could stand in front of it and it. would say oh don't you see this is this. is how you're seeing yourself and and uh.

I don't know I don't know what I'm. trying to say but thank you thank you. for your sentiment man you know I. believe that we will at some point in. time develop another we will find that. there's another level of communication. that we are that we are just learning. it's another language or some that.

connects us all at a much. greater level than what we're doing now. or then the the most common form of. communication now which is texting or. [ __ ] yelling at somebody or fist. fighting that a damn Popeye chicken and. dude I'll be honest rub Popeye chicken. dog if y'all came [ __ ] if y'all can't.

figure this [ __ ] out I mean they got one. in Louisiana over there on st. Charles. Avenue and every year they got a couple. of Muppets over there gunning each other. down bruh for no [ __ ] reason and it. ain't Mardi Gras until they pop off over. there about a Popeye Iza. damn I clean that [ __ ] tanning bed. bra clean dude I can't even tell you how. many times because people come in Brian. they go tan in it one girls like I'm.

gonna stay in there for about 19 minutes. I was like she definitely gonna get. pinkeye she's gonna get pink eye on her. dang buttocks dude because that is. that's too long in there if you in there. bacon and they still got them body. remnants from your boy d'Artagnan bro. you know the fifth uh fencer the fifth. um what is that movie called the fifth. musketeer let's take another call here.

here we go ninety five six six two nine. [ __ ]. I'd have forgot the number bruh good. good that's okay. homework do this your boy shot comes. from Minneapolis Minnesota Bowie. Big Sean.

yeah Shawn homework Shawn word manner. horrible joke just figured out hit that. hotline you know I'm 20 years old man. but you know Oh Justin to them dog carts. you know for very good three four years. that's why you were addicted for three. or four years in the only 20 so you that. early riser you that worm bro first bird. first bird to the house gets the worm. daddy let's hear it though never.

graduated high school you know man. [ __ ] yeah I know dude hell you could. probably get a job right now at frozen. options baby you feel me come on in baby. come on in we got roller skates. we got tanning what's blueberries we got. them frozen options oh you have it. Oh what do you want that cowboy special. huh I'll take two hits of all I'll take. two dips of um of long cut throw it at.

in the blender I'll take a I'll take up. half of a Pabst Blue Ribbon throw to. thing of um nutmeg in there and then. drop a [ __ ] copy of Reader's Digest. in that [ __ ] you mix it up that's a. medium or you boy gang let's hear it. when you used all of my back in high. school and [ __ ] like I just wondered man. like you got any advice first one year. old kid still high school man like.

[ __ ] weird sometimes like I'm in. here spraying for breeding even order to. do it myself like I have friends you. know but they I'll be doing the dope. still that knows can you feel you so. like what do I do Robin high school but. all these kids both like what they want. to do is do drugs to man so I was just. turning on I figured I'd hit the. Harmonia gang thanks for hitting it. daddy thanks for hitting me you little. [ __ ] butter cat you out there trying. to stay on that dust but it sounds like.

you live in dust. troit here's the thing brother if you. gonna do drugs that's your choice it. sounds like you've been through it and. you're out the other side. so I'd let that rainbow stay where it's. at because you know a friend of mine. told me recently said drugs it's like a. bill it's like a tab and you order you. keep running the tab up and running the. tab up and running the tab up on your.

body or on whatever and at some point. you know God or the devil or whoever. says okay you got to pay the tab now and. you might have to pay it with your. health you might have to pay it with. jail time you might have to pay it with. your life you know nobody wants to think. about that but so you know it's just. running that tab how long you want to. run that tab how much risk you want to. take that's what it is bro if I'm 20. years old in high school dah well can.

you even date anybody who are you dude. that's basically setting you up to be a. sex offender I feel like because what if. you find a girl and she's you know 17. and 16 you think she's beautiful and. nice you know and she got them soft. booty cheeks you know okay you know are. you even allowed to like have those kind. of thought like I don't know what you do. Jesus dude that sounds like uh like a.

bait car and bait cars when they put a. car out there with cameras in it in a. place where cars get stolen all the time. and then they film what happens inside. and make a TV show about it [ __ ] brahh I. would dude if I could go back to high. school Dawg I would be making sex with. more women not at this age I'm talking. if I could go back in time dude because.

now you could you could make love to. anybody in high school teachers janitors. we had a lady that looked like a dang Oh. Big Bird do it off [ __ ] I'll ruffle. her feathers dawg I don't know if I. could go back in time dude and bring my. wiener um hello. dude I would bro I bro if I wish my.

Weiner was detachable I'd throw it down. the freakin block let one of them real. wild [ __ ] you know she'll catch it in. a a you know she'll probably catch it. under her chin or but you know cat. balancing on her back like she's um. doing hacky sack just kind of stop it. real slow on her back I mean damn bro. but if I went back to high school dog. I'd [ __ ] eat lunch fast and dingo.

talk to chicks I'd do my work. so easy bro here's the answer to. everything in high school. 1776 that's one answer all of the above. that's the other answer and everything. else I would just mmm. I put hester prynne as the other one you. know for whatever that thing is with the. Vikings or whatever with the lady that.

did it all all right let's take a call. right here CEO this is high coming out. of Morgantown West Virginia with some. tie up there in Morgantown West Virginia. and they had a woman in her niece. offered me one time to give me that. wheeling feeling in West Virginia and. they wanted to do sex and make me a soup. or something they said as well try to. get me come back to their place for a.

sex and a little soup I didn't do it. wish I had let's hear more describes. away this WVU gang gang gang. gratulations do that's [ __ ] fire son. you graduated college brother that's. crazy dude now you could do whatever you. want. may I also recommend something you might.

want to get to is opening up a place. called frozen options boy gang I got a. little question for you so uh back in. August. I was dating this little English guy you. know I had it and now this week's come. over here in u.s. she's over there in. England okay you dated a little UK girl. and I'm headed to the UK in a week so. onward I'm only 24 but here's my dilemma. she might have been you know the most.

you know beautiful thing I ever got the. touch and that's what I'm having trouble. with yeah can't really get myself as you. know might be excited for somebody else. as I did for her just wondering if that. ever happened you kind of made you know. lose some confidence for your future. love life if it did maybe it didn't. maybe you could give me a little a. little bit of points on how to deal with. this having trouble you know getting. excited for that next person okay gang.

yeah buddy yeah buddy so you really. sprung hard for the girl for the euro. kitten that little you know for that. little iris for that little Irish doily. huh for that a little kitty cat you came. over for that for that gay dude here's. what I'm telling you if you you will get. other women that are gonna be attractive.

okay there's always you always but. someone might be attractive in different. ways you know that's the thing I learn. about as I get a little older for me is. I learn for myself that you don't if. it's just sex then something will come. along you know your body will have sex. with someone else I promise you and your. body's gonna be a your memory will fade. of her some and the next option that you.

have for sex will become almost as good. as her. whether that girl is or not really. because you know it's based on options. you know I went to one time Guantanamo. Bay and did some stand-up down there. just I don't know nine years ago. and the first day I got there dude they. probably had nine girls on the island. they had like 2000 people stationed down.

there non female girls and the first. time I saw him I was like oh I don't. know you know a lot of these women you. know wake up and shave their face in the. morning that some of those type of you. know beautiful lady like that but that. style you know kind of chick that had a. you know you know she had her tits. pierced with um with penises you know. I'm saying it's some real you know women.

who weren't interested in being women. almost by the third day I was there. those women were the most beautiful they. were all look like Cindy Crawford they. all became Cindy Crawford's they all. became Gladys Knight's they all became. you know who else uh Emma Hermione. Granger's they all became nice you know.

the it I don't know what the equation is. but it's like distance minus time plus a. couple of these [ __ ] and they're fine. they you know suddenly they're fine as. [ __ ] squared bro so that's how it was. some of that works you got to think. about that thing because no because. nothing because nothing dude that's. advice right there suggestion bro that's. a small um but yet you'll find someone.

else to come along and then eventually. you might fall in love and you don't I. feel like you don't choose who you fall. in love with that's the part I don't. think you choose the love thing that. comes in for me I notice is something. that is I don't know I mean you can. definitely I don't know I just feel you. don't choose who you love man you really. don't and there's almost a beauty about. it because in a weird way it takes when.

you're really in love I think it takes. that pressure off of you is this the. right person is this because that love. is just real but also what the hell do I. know. and look let me tell you as far as other. women you'll date in your life dude. first of all you go back to high school. that's what some of these other guys are. doing but they busted a man in Indiana. years ago and he was like 32 and he was. little he had like Italian ISM or.

something and he was real little like I. mean really little he was like three and. a half feet tall or something he went. back to elementary school and he went to. school for like seven months in Indiana. and finally somebody busted and they saw. him driving a truck and doing. construction or something over the. weekend they put and they got his ass. you know one of his teachers like what. the [ __ ] you doing out there you know. you're a foreman and he's like uh. dinosaurs and then they busted him what.

else man. yeah do you're gonna date all kinds of. people in your life you're gonna date a. woman that doesn't you know you're gonna. date an older woman that comes over and. and just choke you out bro she put you. in that frickin rnc dude and it had a. hard scarf and you wake up and she's. already you know she's come twice you. know you're like I don't even know what. happened you know you're gonna data. you're gonna date a girl that one of. your friends dated and it's gonna ruin a.

friendship of yours a lot of things are. gonna happen you're gonna date a girl. that you probably shouldn't date and. you're gonna date her anyway and you. might start doing pills or selling pills. for her you know you're gonna fall in. love with you know you're gonna see a. woman on a bus or on a train or. something fall in love with her a lot of. things are gonna happen you're gonna. meet some you know some brought over. about a pool and you're gonna see you. know that wetsuit pressed against them. against them you know them tits or but.

then you're gonna feel some type of way. so yeah everything good you'll be fine. brother you will be fine all right let's. take one more call here here we go. what's happy I was bail out of Columbus. Ohio what's up Bo out of Columbus thank. you for calling brother man. Coenen because the weekend I'm about to. have been so Friday my family and I are. going to sign on our dream home nice and. you got that home and it's nice to have.

nice to have a little bit of room you. could get a cat or a dog. you know snag a couple HAMP's put them. [ __ ] in the back you know get a. service animal or something if you want. dude I'd like to get a couple service. animals but not even need them for. support just [ __ ] get them get them. all exciting but I guess what y'all are. free bro. I don't have a nervous condition you. don't have to just fly everywhere all. the time you don't have to sit on. somebody's lap that looks like a.

complete y'all are free and they give. like they're gonna be so excited but. then we're all gonna go out to the bar. and drink and the frogs gonna get all. [ __ ] up bro I'm gonna make a soup out. of his ass but uh let's hear more.

brother home word no reason why that's. such a big deal is I grew up homeless as. long as I can because as long as I can. remember from one to one time 18 a damn. homeless man that's rough bro that's a. rough nugget then ain't no round rock. with my family because they're all. junkies hmm but right yeah people be.

putting the mortgage right in that a arm. you know somebody just throw it up in. that freaking in that escrow account oh. yeah I'm signing for a third of a. million dollar house man. I just don't know how I feel about it I. got this like weird feeling of numbness. because I'm finally comfortable and it's. just like I've never felt that feeling. of comfort so part of me just feels like.

this house it's been the goal for so. long but now that I'm here it kind of. feels like a checkpoint man Wow I like. that man I like that yeah like a. checkpoint that's what Mike Posner said. when he was in here in studio let's hear. a little more. who knows what's best this is kind of. how feeling invisible it could be the. White House. yeah it could be the Fiesta mariachi.

down the street but I know it's gonna be. one step forward no matter where it is. appreciate your podcast it's really. healthy throughout the years long time. listener I hope you're having a great. weekend thanks for sharing that Bo yeah. you got a home man that's awesome. you got that casa do you could get a. yard get you a little [ __ ] Barry. something out there do a time capsule do. a treasure you know get a spouse do a.

Dateline episode no I'm saying you could. you could hide anything in the yard. brother um but I'm happy for you man I. know I can relate to that where you're. saying yeah you know I can't believe I'm. doing this. I can't believe I'm doing a house I. can't believe I'm yes funny how we get. comfortable even in no matter what it is. whether it's being homeless or being. home full and when it changes it's just.

so you say it can be unique you know I'm. sure that's how Bobby Lee feels man he. just finally got his head a home because. that is a home cut bro everything else. is some bull yeah. but once he finally threw the Cadillac.

of cuts the over-under in one now he. gave his head a home man. did I wish you love and luck brother. over there and everybody does man that's. what we got for you you got this [ __ ] go. get that house dude. and I'm saying be like the plumber on. the plumber episode he's peeing in his. own house dude. hell yeah he is do bottle it up store it. somewhere sell it for drug tests down.

the street you know what I'm saying. that's a large dude all kind of options. bro. all kind of frozen options and pink eyes. tanning everything is available here we. got merged we got new stuff coming out. King and the sting will be off for a. couple weeks I don't know if any of you. guys listened to that podcast as well. but what else man having New Year to you.

happy New Year to you three years of. this past weekend that's crazy what. could the New Year hold you're right. brother with the house yeah this could. just be a checkpoint who knows what's. next we might discover a new moon well. you know we might we might discover a. new kind of sugar you know we might uh.

we might make a wish on something on. something anything could happen. you know I might wake up one day and the. cure to cancer may be growing out of my. back you never know I don't even know. I'm talking about but that's okay I. never have for three years I never have. known onward I'm headed to Europe what.

thank you so much thank you to everybody. that's coming out in England Ireland. Scotland. Oslo Stockholm Amsterdam it's gonna be. magical myself re manis we'll see you. there. you guys be good to yourselves let's go.

out with a little Spencer Jacob. growl. [Music]. cellophane is. [Music].

have some fun while we all die celebrate. our day. Oh. [Music]. [Applause]. be good to yourself huh life's not. happening to you it's just happening it. doesn't have a vengeance out for us I. think trying - it's not happening - it's.

not happening to us it's just happening. and we're here we got this thank you. [Music]. [Music].

celebrate. celebrate. [Music].