Pauly Shore | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #519
I got a few tour dates to tell you about. Wallingford Connecticut Portland Maine. Banger Maine Monon. Canada Las Vegas Nevada will be back for. the USC LSU football weekend Oklahoma. City Northern Little Rock Springfield. Missouri Kansas City Missouri soue Fall. South Dakota Lacrosse Wisconsin Green. Bay Wisconsin Molen Illinois you can get. tickets for those.
at. theo. thank you so much for your support. today's guest has been in comedy since. birth pretty much Born Into The Comedy. Store um he's a comedian he's an actor. he's an Entertainer uh you know him from. his famed movies inom man and his. podcast variety show on YouTube the PMS. podcast you can see him Live on tour. throughout the rest of the year I'm. really thankful to spend time with him.
today my friend Mr Paulie. [Music]. Shore I'll sit and tell you my. stories. shine on. me and I will find a song I. [Applause].
so you just H you just had Tommy on. Tommy Lee yeah. dude that guy oh my God he's wild oh my. god dude I mean the fact that he's still. alive those guys dude I mean he's sober. though still dude did I he [ __ ] dude. he [ __ ] ran hard bro like hard like. all those guys ran really hard did you. cuz you probably saw a lot of those.
bands you probably party with a lot of. those guys huh are we rolling yeah [ __ ]. did you party with a l my uncle yeah. she's in Iowa what's up Uncle jesture. what's up bro what's up jesture what's. up he's in Iowa he's a big fan dude big. fan he told me if you wear a hat I wear. a hat really okay I'll gock no no you. said you're going to wear the hat when. wear hat you know what's cool about this. show cuz I was thinking about thinking. about you're the rat right is that. what and you are the weed whel bro oh.
the rat and the what and the whel what. do you think so to I was going to ask. you this to you know I was coming here. and I've known you for a long time I. haven't sat down with you yet you know. and always say this to comedians that. are doing really well like I've been in. the business my whole life like I have I. mean since I was little little little I. watched so many guys you know come up. come I mean Tony henchcliffe now and. different different guys like yourself. and I'm so and I'm not just saying this. to get on your dick or any of that [ __ ]. I'm really happy for you and I've said. that to you before and I know how hard.
it is take it in I know it's hard to let. love in isn't it it's hard to let love. in but it's coming from paully Shore I'm. very happy for you for real thank you. you know I know how hard you've worked I. know hard how hard you've done this and. how and how it's just kind of taken off. for you so I I see your Instagrams and I. see all these people that you're playing. in front of and I'm very very happy for. you because it's [ __ ] awesome thanks. man I mean [ __ ] like you know you're. always Co you always have something kind. of supportive to say or inquire when I.
see you and so I want you to say I want. to say I appreciate that man yeah and I. appreciate you appreciating me all right. I appreciate you appreciate me you said. um go on no no I know gesture what's up. I think we should I think we should take. our hats off now okay hats off you know. what I mean hats off yeah cuz it's the r. and the weasel. bro. Chinese the hair looks good man great. actually thank you I was with Gary. shanley's hairdresser he set it up for. me so that was that's.
dude when you said yeah you have a tough. time letting love and that's true huh. yeah very much so which is why I'm. single which is why you're I'm sure. you're single yeah you know what I mean. cuz cuz cuz yeah women like us most. women like us because we've been on TV. and movies or they've seen us on our. thing like oh my God I love biodome I. love the the squirly rat or whatever. your [ __ ] [ __ ] is on the stage pige. the bad pigeon you know what I mean but. then after that you're a human being and. you're a person with a brain a heart a. smile all that [ __ ] and at the end of. the day you don't know if they're liking.
you for for the rat let me see the rat. tail let me see that throw that [ __ ] out. in the back yeah that [ __ ] rat [ __ ]. that's tight ass [ __ ] pull this out on. Easter sometimes and I've actually we. did just I'm thinking about get one like. a half inch extension on this part it's. very bonjovi back in 1987 dude it's fair. it's fair first song I ever listen to. was B but for real is it hard to let. love in yeah I don't I don't think it's. hard for me to notice who is appropriate. for me to love but I think it's hard for. me to feel like it's just somebody could.
sit there and tell you man I really love. you and I'd be like all right buddy. let's keep it let's keep it or woman. it's hopefully a woman all right woman. let's keep it moving here you know it's. just hard for me to like I just yeah I. also think that my receptors are bad. yeah I think that once people get over. the fact that you're who you know the. celebrity and all that stuff then you're. stuck with you as a human and then at. the end of the day like that's really. what it's about you know what I mean do. you want to hang out do you want to go. get sushi you want to go [ __ ] around you. know what I mean right well I think.
sometimes this is interesting Paulie and. uh I think it's. like well sometimes I wonder. if like by getting some pop by by. creating a life or aiming for some level. of popularity if you're really trying to. create an Ambiance or create something. between you and other people that gives. you a barrier you know what I'm saying. does that make any sense yeah yeah yeah. because they see the Persona and they. think that you're the Persona like. sometimes like I was with this girl was. like I'll create it so you never even.
have to know the real me and maybe I. don't even know the real me but I'm. going to but but but so I'm going to. make this and hopefully you'll like this. yeah because yeah because what happened. was is about three months ago I met this. girl on the road I think it was in Iowa. with my uncle and yeah yeah yeah and I. met this girl and she loves son-in-law. this movie I did a long time about. son-in-law and she wouldn't have sex. with me unless I put on my chaps and I. put in my hair because I used to have. long hair so in order for me to have sex. with her guess what I had to do put it. on put it on yeah and then I had to go.
like do all this [ __ ] like that and then. when once I orgasm and I take the [ __ ]. off and I left I felt bad I wound up at. Waffle House by myself at the end of the. night crying with the [ __ ] tear yeah. oh yeah I think if you have to dress up. to have sex it's probably going to get. yeah I would cry I don't know if I I. don't know if I can do this right. [Music]. now okay I'm all right okay all right. thank you no I'm here for you man and. I'm here to and I'm happy to you today.
you know what you know what I saw Kid. Rock on this right here and I have. something to [ __ ] say to you. [ __ ] Kid Rock first of all. don't disrespect theovon the whole time. you're wearing this and [ __ ] this. dude you're wearing this and this what. the [ __ ] bro you come to La you got to. show your pretty face no I'm just. kidding no I like I love Kid Rock Kid. Rock what's up bro did you ever uh where. where was the first time you met him met. dude that's a [ __ ] hilarious story. for for Real uh Kid Rock what's up I.
haven't seen you since probably no no. what do I mean I used to go on tour I. used to go on tour with this guy and you. don't even [ __ ] know bie barely. remembers it bro no I used to go on tour. with this guy when he had his little his. little um the little the dwarf the the. kid oh yeah what was that guy name magic. baby no j j JC oh yeah JC yeah JC was. bring him up oh yeah Jo Uncle Uncle. Cracker was his DJ yeah is he still his. DJ uh no Uncle Cracker does perform with. him some sometimes but Uncle Cracker is.
on tour right now I think with um Kenny. chzn actually yeah so this is when I. right there C was for cancer wasn't it. what happened to him he just partied a. lot he was like in the mini he was. partying with like mini me and like you. know that whole yeah this is like yeah. they called him uh don't know Andy panas. people would call him because he would. do like a lot of pills yeah so what. happened so the first time I met JC and. Kid Rock and all this this this stuff it. was [ __ ] crazy have your guy pull up.
Conan O'Brien Limp Biscuit I think it. was late '90s poly Shore Kid Rock and. [ __ ] Limp Biscuit Conan O Brien so. I'm with Fred cuz this is when Fred. started on MTV i' had been on MTV for a. long time I was kind of sad I was going. through this kind of transition part. it's kind of when I did my movie poly. Shore's dead I know that Tommy Lee was. on here recently who was in poly Shore's. dead I've known Tommy for a long time. and uh we went to Conan O'Brien and um. Fred was performing I think it was Faith.
uh you know he was the the George. Michaels song Faith off of uh one of his. albums and me and Kid Rock went with. Fred and we're in the [ __ ] background. on Conan O'Brien if do you have it I. know it's there I know it's [ __ ]. there it's there somewhere there it is. look it this is [ __ ] triple triple. look at this WOW turn it up dude can we. hear it yeah crank crank this. [ __ ]. dude for biscuit yeah look at this [ __ ]. look at there's wait and look at Kid. Rock in the corner wait in the red. jacket oh yeah there he is in the red.
jacket. yeah Fred what's up Fred what's up. [ __ ] Fred out there killing it. on the road right now and I guess it. would be nice oh look how young he is. can hatch your body oh that everybody. got a body like. you and I got to think of. twice before I get your. away so this is where first me Kid Rock.
in the. background I think I'm wearing the hood. I think yeah that's me in the hood I. think oh. yeah that's why Kid Rock's my [ __ ]. boy what's up kid rock triple triple. quadruple OG I'll see you on Lake. Michigan we'll drink some [ __ ] beers. gang bro yeah so that was pretty cool. I'll see you up there in charoy baby. that's where they party if you've been. up there I've been I was in Lake. Michigan for this last Fourth of July I. was in Pentwater is it nice water was. beautiful yeah cuz I was I was born and.
raised in La around the store and you. know right there in West Hollywood and. [ __ ] my whole life and and this it was. it was this this this last Fourth of. July I'm like I don't want to be in. Vegas I don't want to be in [ __ ]. Malibu I don't do I want to go to the. Middle America I want to see people with. Trump Flags you know what I mean I want. to go out there on the [ __ ] on Lake. Michigan so I got a um you don't want to. piss on a big girl's back out there yeah. you know what I'm saying dude yeah and I. got an be right on the water with my.
friend uh my friends and um and I played. a club there a small little bar it was. [ __ ] sick and we're in Pentwater. Michigan I was looking for Kid Rock it. was Co have you ever been to Lake. Michigan uh I don't think I have I would. I would definitely go dope dude next. summer I'm going to go huge it's huge we. just do it next summer yeah would love. [ __ ] Fourth of July do a show up. there somewhere it's awesome dude did. you do the show on the fourth or no no. no I took the fourth off yeah I just. watched fireworks but I did like five. nights there and it was. it was great did you get out on the.
water I went on the water yeah of course. yeah yeah yeah nice yeah it was cool. when you were a kid like I mean you. famously you grew up around The Comedy. Store your mother was the owner and your. father was the owner MH um and your. family still owns it yes yeah yes um and. did you guys ever go on family. vacations well my dad Samy Shore the. late great Sammy Shore give it up for my. father let's put a picture of my dad. Sammy short a picture of him up and I'll. say this I want to say this about him. before we Sammy uh I got to meet him oh.
and we would talk sometimes about this. was interesting he wanted to make like a. show about dogs right yes and so he. would call every now and then and we. would talk about this show about dogs. and his neighbor dogs and his friends. dogs and it was um that was my only it. was called funny bones I don't know yeah. funny bones yeah he did it he wound up. doing it did he really yeah he did he. did some episodes yeah oh because um it. was just it was just interesting that. was the only way that I knew him um he. was he was you know I love my mom my mom.
was the best Not only was she a great. you know developing The Comedians and. and artistic and all that stuff but as a. mom she was [ __ ] yeah but she was a. real mom really yeah dude she took care. of me she was not like weird or like. just cuz she was busy at the ComEd so. she went there for my birthdays and all. that stuff you know she did the whole. thing we had sliping slides we had um. trampolines in the back I had a moped. all that [ __ ] did she like being a mom. you think yeah she was cool she was. natur natur she was a mom but my father.
um you know he started the store you. know he started there it is funny bones. yeah but he started the store cuz he. needed a place to work out his standup. kind of like Joe at the Mother Ship you. know Joe was like he's like I need a. place to work out I go out to the mother. ship and I have a club so that was kind. of his Vibe do you see that when you go. to the Mothership now you do you feel. some of that same energy almost in a. weird way yeah I definitely feel I. definitely feel my mom there I feel my. parents there yeah for sure you know. it's great I mean he's got bar mites. and all that stuff and Joe's you know.
it's weird when I see the guy start. crying I always [ __ ] cry when I see. him there's like an emotional connection. that I have with him it's [ __ ] weird. you know it's funny you say that that. happens to me sometimes when I'm talking. with Joey Diaz sometimes that happens. with me it's like it just. like I don't know I'll think some things. about his life or something and I'll I. don't know what it is but my my my eyes. will well up you know yeah and Joey Diaz. is yeah all those guys and holzman's. doing great yeah Holman's doing great.
and I I tell him I'm like don't leave. the mothership you know just stay at the. [ __ ] Mothership you're funny you're. going to hit because you know he wants. to make it like Dave Lucas and [ __ ]. and and and Cam and Montgomery and all. these guys that are you know that on. Tony and I'm like dude just hang in. there you're [ __ ] great and now he's. starting to sell tickets so if there's. anyone out there that wants to see a. crazy mother [ __ ] comedian Brian. Holzman is [ __ ] awesome from the. mothership and we love him so much kind. dude Brian would get up this is one of.
my favorite Brian Holzman stories so. when Jeff piano Jeff died of um Co or. HIV right you could take your pick he. might have died of HIV o v right I mean. he had something he had you know and if. you don't know him Jeff Scott bring up a. picture of him a beautiful man and he. got HIV in uh Connecticut a long time. ago prince prince Town Prince Town yeah.
it was like a hot gay district he told. me about it and and um yeah he always. took a whole bunch of pills and yeah and. he was always partying and just you know. he was always you know two well no I. wasn't saying party pills like HIV pills. oh he was I was always yeah he always. had like a fist full of HIV pill well I. think no pills like you know what I mean. that make him feel better right well. that that that are supposed to support. AIDS you know the kind that Magic. Johnson has those type of pills those. Lakers snacks. I think right cuz I think yeah the.
Lakers we should put our hats on you. know what I mean we can mix it up cuz we. got Gary Shanley here yeah yeah it's. that that time of day um but he would. also in between 1986 I was diagnosed. with. HIV and Cole told me you have two years. to live here's a fan flet with some. information good luck yeah and he's yeah. he he lived forever yeah and now yeah. and this was had to take 20 pills a day. he said right there now he also was. doing cocaine right so part-time or.
whatever semi- parttime but anyway bless. him no judgment none of this is Judgment. but so they had a call during Co where. uh it was a funeral it was his funeral. over Zoom it was a zoom zoom mural. whatever they called him and so we're on. there and people are crying and you know. Whitney was like wearing a kimon and. wandering around her Mansion or whatever. you know and like just there was 75. people on there and his Jeff's sister. was on there and she would speak and. every now and then Brian Holtzman oh.
that's [ __ ] hilarious would chime in. and go he had AIDS people right he had. a and people everybody would die like. bro yeah he was the Harvey Milk of our. time just holon would just throw in. these like it was a pure comedy set and. it was just one of like it was it was. that thing where it's like laugh at the. pain you know and it was just.
unprecedented but yeah it's great to see. him thriving over there his sty yeah his. style is um you know. it's it's a an acquired taste oh you. know it's an acquired taste you know he. does a lot of these videos where he. he'll film people leaving his show have. you seen that it's [ __ ] hilarious cuz. there's a lot of people that leave his. show oh yeah you know what I mean they. get pissed off so they film it and. they're like people are like that guy's. [ __ ] disgusting I'm going to call the. I'm going to call the pull one of those. up where where Holzman where Holtzman.
just clears a room he clears a room dude. like so he had a I mean the guys Jeff's. sister was crying and he put that in. turn it. up what's up what did he. say. he. pretty you you want. you too much.
houon South am like he's South like he's. too much what the [ __ ] are you talking. about you can't with the 40ish group. yeah you can't am a [ __ ] teacher that. is not for me no thank you [ __ ] you [ __ ]. him my family will pay our bill don't. worry someone has to represent a. generation it's not you [ __ ] him and and. I don't [ __ ] care paying the bills now. so you guys got to go see him okay there.
you go I mean he's basically he he walks. a lot of people minutes later later look. what happened this gu is [ __ ] talking. about. [ __ ] no seriously what did he say no. honestly you're [ __ ] oh [ __ ] [ __ ]. did you guys pay for that bill no [ __ ]. that [ __ ] give me my [ __ ] money you. [ __ ] wow yeah that's classic I. didn't know they do this they have to. keep doing more of this yeah but anyways.
but it's a good time for comedy man it's. [ __ ] crazy dude when I was growing up. you know you know it was five guys that. were selling out the rooms that you guys. sell out is that true yeah that's true. you had dice you had Eddie Murphy like. three or four other guys and now there's. a lot of [ __ ] guys like the rooms you. play it's insane oh yeah it's crazy now. it's [ __ ] insane like I mean you must. be pinching yourself you walk out on the. stage it's like [ __ ] what 20,000. people no no 10,000 people and you got.
Ari Manis how the [ __ ] right I'm. grateful to have him around AR's a speak. he always speaks very highly of you oh. cool always yes yes we' I've taken them. out out on the road the thing is with. you and I cuz we're similar in a way. like we go out on the road we bring. these guys and you know and and we know. and you know I know and everyone else. knows the reason why people are paying. for the tickets is for us but at the end. of the day you got to take care of your. guys and you also they're there not just. to open the show they're there to hang. out for you emotionally and that's more.
important so you got to give them a. little extra shekels for that that's a. good point man you know what I'm saying. and that's what I do and I I pay for. everything and I you know um you know I. take care I take care of my guys because. you know at the end of the day we're. lonely guys me and you I mean let's be. honest you know and if they weren't. there you'd have some local opening for. you and then you wouldn't be able to be. with your homie yeah you know well it's. definitely true and yeah you kind of. factor that in it's like you think like. okay I want to just yeah your opener. almost become um who who emotional.
support animal who do I like being. around who likes being around me who can. we both be around each other hang it's. all about the hang you know like just. sitting before you go on and you feel. like you those are your real friends and. I think that's more important and then. obviously you're giving them stage time. and they're making so money but um at. the end of the day we're [ __ ] we're. broken wings dude you know we're [ __ ]. up dude if your mom was pretty attentive. and she was really kind of there what do. you think kind of made you that may. turned you into the comedian you think. for me just I don't know I mean I've.
always loved making people laugh you. know what I mean ever since I was a kid. I mean it started with Richard prior and. Robin Williams and all those guys. because back in the day I talk about. this on my oneman show I have a oneman. show that your dude told me he saw it's. called stick with the dancing it's about. my childhood and um and and it's. everything before I made it it's all the. [ __ ] that happened before I made it yeah. it's all my child [ __ ] but but when I. was a kid you know um my mom used to. have a lot of parties at the house so. she'd always be like let's go back to. the [ __ ] house from the store you.
know what I mean and everyone would go. to the house the doany house where you. know where I grew up in and um you know. and it would be like a Tuesday night and. I'd be trying to sleep and I'd hear the. party going downstairs I had to wake up. for school in the morning cuz my mom's. um my mom's Guardian who is a t a thae. lady by the name of Sunni and the bar. manager name was Ted and he worked at. the club and Sunni would have to take me. to school and I had to wake up in the. morning but there would be parting down. downstairs so I had to go downstairs and.
um and I'd have to tell my mom to shut. up I mean but for real because my mom. was from Wisconsin and her voice would. go and it would peer through the [ __ ]. laughter and there would be Richard PRI. and there would be Robin and [ __ ]. Argus and Richard Bowzer and and Tim. tomerson and Biff Maynard and all these. [ __ ] guys it was wild dude like my. [ __ ] like when I like the fact that I'm. still around and I'm okay is [ __ ]. weird yeah you you know what I mean oh I. can't imagine it's [ __ ] weird because.
I seen so much do you feel like you had. you felt like you had to compete to be. like you oh well the in order to be even. seen I have to be funny because that's. the EnV no because when I told them to. shut up I had school in the morning. everyone laughed yeah so it was like. that's of course dude yeah they would. just laughed so it was like I was I was. you know I guess I was funny without. knowing I was funny when I was you know. when I was just just a kid but I always. liked making people laugh like I always. [ __ ] around and that's what totally po. was I mean toly Polly was like this.
natur this kind of like happy accident. you know the thing on MTV it was just. like this [ __ ] yeah how many episodes. did you guys do of it we shot six years. dude six years every day from 300 to. 4:30 Jesus that's what I was telling you. when you came up to my house I'm like. dude you're like I was back when I first. made it cuz you're like this people like. on you and that's how it was for me but. I was in my 20s yeah how old are you I'm. 44 yeah yeah so imagine it when you're.
in 20s I can't I would not be alive I'd. be deceased so I'd be deceased but at. least then the cocaine was safe to do. yeah cuz you did a lot of that I did. some of it not a lot though I did yeah I. did a little more than I said I just. said I did yeah I did yeah I've had yeah. I've did it yeah cuz cuz you have you. have mental stuff too right are you. better now than you were [ __ ] yeah some. stuff's better but I think what do I I. mean yeah I don't know i' like you know. what I liked about I think I just didn't. trust the [ __ ] world right there's.
something about the world I didn't trust. I didn't trust it out of the gate you. trust me I don't know we'll. see okay I didn't trust the world out of. the gate but there was something about a. joke right that you couldn't PR if I got. you to laugh if you. laughed it was like you I think we. should take our hats off okay I'd love. to okay I think it's a great idea yeah. do you have glasses uh yeah yeah let's. put some glasses on I think that don't.
you think it makes sense will you bring. my glasses that. are in the front of my uh book bag or. lenses list yeah we're trying to do a. theme thing here like like the you know. like the Belushi you know like what is. it oh like U Blue Bonnet or whatever no. like uh Blues Brothers Blues Brothers. that makes sense right yeah that's cool. okay so go on back into the laugh. there's The Blues Brothers so but. there's something about laughter man. like it was just f it was like magic it. was like how do I do magic from over. here like make you feel a certain way.
but I don't need to go over that I just. it's like what do you do and laughter. was that if you could get somebody you. say something and they went from. whatever their state was and they. laughed I was like oh that's real that's. that's authentic it's authentic I can. rely that is they couldn't have faked. that you can tell if they do yes ex yeah. exactly so you're from the Bayou though. right so there was something like yeah. I'm from oh this is good dude this is. like a theme thing what oh wow. oh wow so you don't have shades on there.
yeah the shades we can edit them in. they're clear oh you edit them in oh. that's sick [ __ ] so this. is Jackie on. nases take your old records off the. shelves okay so all right so that was. something that was fascinating to me. dude I want to know this who came by the. store right who came by the store paully. over the year like I mean what about. when Jim Carrey came where you guys just. like what like came and it was just. something so novel did you you ever you.
ever see you ever see a a popcorn. machine um put popcorn out you know. where that was like the store back in. the you know in the 70s ' 80s and 90s. yeah it felt like that you know my mom. was the center she was the cental. colonel yeah you know what I mean so. yeah so boom you got you got Jim Carrey. boom you got dice boom you got [ __ ]. you know arcenio boom you got Roseanne. boom you got you know Eddie Murphy boom.
you got Richard boom you got Robin boom. it was just like boom boom but everyone. was doing drugs and everyone was. drinking and it was just like normal. yeah you know and Sam Kennison was the. man it was part of society it was it was. very common that's why when Tommy Lee. was here you know he was here I guess. earlier or whatever he was part of that. whole thing because him and Sam Kennison. were very close they were yeah very. close [ __ ] wish had know it and then. also Vince Neil who I talked to about a. month month ago he lives in Nashville.
yeah do you know that cuz you live in. Nashville I see him sometimes yeah and. he says he's got a huge he's the only. one that's still not sober like everyone. else is sober yeah and Vince is like no. [ __ ] that I'm like cool I'm hanging out. with. you Vince is [ __ ] wild there you go. oh that's so cool what about the story. with uh Kennison and leov did you know. about all that oh very much so yeah. that's a wild story take me through some. of that. story okay so basically there was a. comedian for you young ticktockers out.
there that are obsessed with my friend. Theo vau just so you know V is from it's. a French uh Artic articulation that. comes from the south of France in an. island called bendi so just look that up. that's where his last name is the oon V. yeah and my family originally is from. Mogadishu actually yes Mogadishu which. is in the Swiss Alps yep Swiss Alps high. as you can go up there yeah so it's just. up up up up up that's his mom popped you. out come on up that's what Mom would say.
come on up take a month yep so just to. to to do the the quick version there's a. comedian named Sam Kennison he was on. fire his best friend name was named Carl. leau think about Amir K you know and you. guys are doing drugs and getting [ __ ]. up and blah blah blah and um um Amir K. Amir K is is married and Amir K has a. wife and you [ __ ] his wife and then you.
get her pregnant and then you die and. then uh Amir K has your baby and then. Amir K winds up having to pay for your. baby and he it's his baby his whole life. no because it looks like [ __ ] you but. they never got a blood test I don't. think until later right till kind of. later yeah so for 16 years I think 18. years like he had to you know pay for. the baby Carl was like supporting the.
child and thinking it was his daughter. yeah but it was it was [ __ ] up and and. I still haven't met the kid wow and I. really want to meet the kid so um that'd. be pretty fascinating we should get her. on this [ __ ] show I [ __ ] Zoom. right now with her how sick would that. be Sam Sam kennison's uh she's like. what's up oh you know being an adult has. its high points I'll say that you can. eat ice cream for dinner. you can sit in your car and have you a.
dang waffle in there if you want eat it. with your hands God that's nice but it's. not all fun you also have to do your. taxes and figure out what's for dinner. and and you have to make doctor's. appointments but for that there's Zach. do the healthc care app that makes. adulting that much easier that's right. Zach dooc is a free app and website. where you can search and compare high. quality in network doctors choose the.
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you know I hate looking for doctors the. old way it's confusing you got three. windows open on your computer and Zach. dooc that's the way I'm doing it so stop. putting off those doctor's appointments. and go to Zach. do.com Theo to find and instantly book a. toprated doctor today that's zo. do.com. tho Zach do.com. Theo is pornography causing a problem in.
your life that's a good question it's a. real question it has in mind it has at. certain periods in my. life uh watching porno and everything. and watching porno was making me it was. ruining my life it was ruining my life. man made me feel just so much shame. that's what it did well I'm watching. pornography has become commonplace today. and often times men will use porno to to. numb the pain of loneliness boredom.
anxiety and depression that's why I want. to introduce you to my friend Steph Walt. Steve is the founder of Valor recovery. he is a dear friend of mine he is a dear. friend of mine and Valor recovery is a. program to help men overcome porn abuse. and sexual. compulsivity that's right their coaches. are in long-term recovery and they will. be your partner mentor and spiritual. guide to transend send problematic. behaviors there is zero Commitment if.
you reach out to them it's just the. first step and trying to figure out if. you may need some help if you can get. some help to learn more about Valor. recovery please visit them at Valor. recovery. coaching.com or email them at. admin Valor recovery. coaching.com the links will be uh on the. YouTube and again there there's no. commit when you commitment when you. reach out to them um but I promise you.
uh only something positive will come uh. from you reaching out and figuring out. if um if what type of help if any uh. could benefit you thank you but um yeah. so uh that was that was wild and Carl. got a [ __ ] Carl Carl got the he he had a. tough one he had a tough run I got to. put my glasses back on thanks yeah yeah. but Carl Carl had had a tough run and he. was genius he was a great Carl was great.
I I would see him down in Texas down at. Randy Butler's clubs down there and I. would see him perform down there. sometimes in cross paths nice guy yeah. people loved him yeah he was he was uh. he was special there was another guy. named Mitchell Walters who also died You. Know Carl died right yeah yeah and. Mitchell Walters died too he was [ __ ]. hilarious he had the [ __ ] funniest 12. minutes of material really bring him up. this guy was [ __ ]. hilarious wow we did we did shows in. Vegas this was in the late 80s and.
um and we were at the Dunes hotel and it. was the out Sam Kennison and the Outlaws. of Comedy Mitchell what was his Mitchell. Walters yeah this guy oh wow beautiful. he was [ __ ] hilarious trans or no no. he wasn't trans Indian huh no I don't. know what he was but he was [ __ ]. hilarious oh see there's a picture with. him and Sam and Billy Idol on the left. up there yeah there you go oh wow wow so. before one of the shows at the dunes.
this was the late 80s this when Sam. Kennison was getting sued by United. Artist for not showing up on his movie. Set uh a took so Mitchell Walters comes. up to me before the show and I said. Mitchell we're going to hang out after. the show right and he goes yeah. absolutely me and you we're going to. party package package party and then. when the show started and then the show. finished and I went to go hang out with. them and I'm like yo let's [ __ ] hang. he's like get the [ __ ] away me Golden. Boy I don't go go hang out with your. [ __ ] mother I don't have time for.
this [ __ ] because what be in between the. show he went out and did Coke and he. [ __ ] Gamble and he lost everything oh. yeah yeah so damn yeah that one show. Lost It All yeah he lost a lot and how. did he uh pass away um I think he had. some type of some type of internal like. you know I don't want to say it was. cancer or something like that but he. wasn't he wasn't too healthy yeah damn. brother yeah so um but he was he was a. really funny funny cat as well though. you know it's a it's kind of a dangerous.
it's a dice role doing comedy because. you're really you're at a cuz comedy. club is just a bar attached to a stage. that's all it is it's a bar so it's like. you have access to everything yeah you. have access to everything and you. perform at night so you're at work at. night people have just gotten out of a. crowd they're on a high you're on a high. it's like yeah it's like you're just. there's so much Temptation that's right. there so much possibility for um to get. in trouble so how's so how's it going. for you now how are you feeling these. days. um I feel okay I think I feel like a lot. of responsibility sometimes you know so.
that's it's not as much fun sometimes I. guess because you have a little you feel. like you have more responsibility but um. but then sometimes I got to remember hey. man just take it easy just do your best. be yourself try your best uh and just. try to be honest about you know whenever. you can about what's going on you know. um so some of that's been pretty. interesting I think just the the boom. we're having in comedy has been really. that's been a real blessing because I. think the news kind of shot itself in.
the dick over the past 5 years or. something kind of like nobody knows. what's news or what's real anymore so. everything's such a joke anyway that I. think people are like well at least I. know these are jokes yeah and then what. do you think about like doing something. on stage or doing something or this or. whatever and then people comment on this. as opposed to the old days where you. just do a TV show and no one would. comment right except for they would just. come up to like a you know and say oh I. saw you on Married with Children or some.
[ __ ] but like this is instant do you. read the comments sometimes I'll look at. some of them sometimes the producers. will send me something to watch you know. it's good luck it's like do you want to. open a box that's that's something can. hurt your feelings I don't know you know. yeah I think that's kind of some of the. dangerous part now if it's something. super funny a lot of times they'll make. sure that I see it you know yeah. sometimes if somebody makes fun you. really good what do you think about what. happened to Jack Black and his partner. recently he's he's not his partner you. know well no because he said is he. homosexual the what he's homosexual no I.
don't no no no what happened was I think. they said something about Donald Trump. oh I didn't even see that oh with. Tristan D or whatever the guy's name is. snake D or whatever no the his partner. said something oh yeah he said I wish I. wouldn't have missed him yeah I think. that's [ __ ] kind of classless I think. yeah I wouldn't say that about a a. president no did you um but isn't it. wild that like you can ad lip something. like that and then it's a WAP for a. while yeah it's crazy right and yes it. was terrible you know that he said that. and that's you don't you don't say that.
and you don't even joke about that but I. mean look but also it's like that's how. he feels uh I just think it's a kind of. a and it just had like yeah it's just. kind of people don't want that people. are confused so what do you think about. Cala these days this is. pretty are you it's going to be is not. even she I know but the whole thing's. gonna be like a great it's going to be. political theater I think oh it is it's. gonna be like it's all it is now yes I.
think politics is just political theater. it's a shell or it's a shell company for. the big business it's a [ __ ] it's. like a puppets it's a Puppet Theater it. seems like to me yeah um well I think I. don't know if Cala doesn't have it to. win I don't think that I don't think. anyone is going to beat Trump to be. honest I like I think Bobby Kennedy I. feel like has a lot of great points to. talk about and stuff I think he's very. fascinating I think he um you know you.
believe that he wants to get in there. and do something different uh why is it. so many people don't want to run for. president like the rock for instance. people have talked about the rock like. he's gorgeous he's big he's handsome. he's a huge huge star like you know like. I think Trump fans and then also the. Liberal Liberal audience would [ __ ]. go oh my God that's [ __ ] The Rock. that's our guy yeah cuz cuz obviously. like I would you ever run for anything. like that that like think about it for a. second like not not right now yeah but.
I'm like you know you're 44 you said 4. I'm 44 44 so look about when you're 54. yeah you know what I mean after you kind. of like wanted to chill like would you. ever get into politics maybe I would run. for a VP or something if they let you so. you'd be a vice president be cool vice. president you just get to stand in the. back and be like this right that'd be. cool vice president you just get to. [ __ ] chill bro have you ever been to. the White House sure they want a thug. you just get to [ __ ] like what does. the vice president say he just get to. say some crazy [ __ ] bro and you know.
what I'm saying you get to say hey China. we about this [ __ ] bro and then it just. goes viral and then you're [ __ ]. having a blast dude and you can party. with chicks or whatever your wife can be. [ __ ] cool your kids can be on the. front lawn [ __ ] juggling or [ __ ]. smoking behind the statues or whatever I. think it would be that part would be. pretty fun and there's no pressure. everybody knows the vice president's a. who gives a [ __ ] anyway dude it's like. let anybody be vice president yeah but. now she's she cuz Joe Biden timbered.
yeah timbered you know what I mean and. that pissed me off Joe should have. [ __ ] hung in there I yeah yeah until. he fell really hard you know what they. should have done here's what they should. have done with him because he didn't. want to bail you know what I mean he. didn't want to bail no they told him so. long he was the president he finally. when they said no no you're not the. president he's like I am the President. they believed it no what they should. have done is they should have told him. that um that Mr President there's mold. in the White House we need to move you. to a hotel move him to a hotel for 3 4.
days then take all his pictures and all. the different things that are in the. White House and put him in another white. house and then move him back into that. and say this is your place you he won't. know that it's not his place and then. just say you're the president but he. just like plug in other TVs and [ __ ]. he's like don't I have anything to do. today like no you're good yeah they're. like no your dog just bit somebody now. eat some ice cream but I I felt bad. because he was you know he was being. puppeted it felt like yeah but he was. also um I I've been around like my mom. for instance my mom wasn't well you know.
towards towards you know the last good. 10 years she was um you know have some. dementia yes she had that whole thing so. I was that was affecting me watching Joe. reminding me of my mom and your. grandparents or people's watching. grandparents it's not [ __ ] funny oh. if you did that yeah I mean my father. was uh my father was 70 when I was born. so he was an old man [ __ ] so I can. totally relate to the sense of like it. felt like somebody's being taken. advantage of a little bit that's what. and that really I don't care what side. of things you're on but that to me just. felt it must look cringe to people in.
the world if that's how we're willing to. do with our senior citizens and then. also like every time he walked off a. plane wasn't cool like it felt like he. was going to fall yeah and it wasn't. cool and it's like you know I didn't. want to see that right you know what I. mean I didn't want to see I didn't I'm. glad that didn't nothing bad happen. that's a good point huh all those little. stages they put them on the scariest. thing to put the scariest thing for. senior citizen next to more than more. than one ottoman in a room is a little. stage dude because there's nowhere. really to go except for down yeah just.
stairs yeah one stair two stairs yeah so. yeah so that [ __ ] was bum dude what do. you think I and it looks like almost. they tried to kill Trump someone did it. didn't work and so then Biden they're. like well if that doesn't work then. Biden has to step down because we have. to give put somebody that can try to win. I don't if that's true but it looks a. little bit like that what do you think. happened do you think what do you think. I think there's he's a he's a sicko that. little kid oh you think it was just the. kid alone a sicko yeah I think so I.
think it was just a sicko um you know. it's like a lot of these School shooters. are are they're you know what I mean. they're not all up there who's I mean. who's going to take a a gun and go shoot. up a school it's just disgusting oh yeah. so it's like you know for someone to do. that it's just repulsive you know and. and and um I don't know I mean no. comment It's just sad you know the kids. are [ __ ] up like that oh it's. heartbreaking and then the kid is dead. now I don't you know and you wonder like. did somebody get to this kid and Inspire. him to do that the thing about having.
another shooter because some people. think there's another shooter but you. would had to have. had that then somebody had to have hired. the kid you know they have to know the. kid's going to do it or yeah and I don't. think that happened I think he's just a. wacko that knew Trump was you know what. I mean going to be speaking but then. it's unbelievable that the Secret. Service wasn't able to like if people. they were checking their Instagram yeah. probably. absolutely you know they're just self-. involved with their own [ __ ] and.
they weren't weren't weren't focused on. the whole thing either way you know I. like you know at night you know I was I. was [ __ ] with you the other night. when we were texting each other I said I. got to go I'm going to sleep I'm. watching Fox News you know what I mean I. just you know as a I started watching. Fox News with my mom she loved it yeah. she loved it she would just watch bill. look at Bill O'Reilly and then she'd see. the Fox News anchors what the [ __ ] is. her H te she's got [ __ ] horse teeth. pully you know with all the Fox News.
anchor girls she'd always get angry what. the [ __ ] is she looking. at you know she's got she looks like a. horse face she would say that [ __ ] it. was [ __ ] hilarious so I would watch I. would always watch um you know the news. with her we watch CNN we'd watch Fox any. other shows you would watch together. game shows or anything um Tommy would. bring over comedians sometimes Tommy the. old Talent guy yeah he'd bring over. comedian what do you think of him you. know [ __ ] like that I miss Tommy kind of.
yeah what you mean kind of I miss him. yeah he was right he was fun he was a. great guy he was there when I got there. he was such a character you know how he. kind of like yeah you know well he was. funny CU he said heay doing it yeah him. and his him and his girl Steph they. stayed at the Hyatt and he says he says. well it seems like the comedy store's. calling me it's right down there they. want me they want me to run the comedy. store don't you understand well that's.
how it is that's how your mother wanted. it Paulie listen to your mother she's. the. queen you know what I mean it's pretty. cool he what do you think of his. relationship with your mom what do you. think it was like it was good yeah it. was good I mean he used to do [ __ ] with. my mom that you're not supposed to do. for someone that you're working he used. to carry her up the stairs I mean she. would literally call him up help me up I. can't get up you know and it was um you. know she would be working the booth and. then Steve reny would have to come in. and that's when he stole the money but.
that was another conversation that was. supposed to be funny anyways all right. no I think yeah it's like well yeah cuz. I never knew exactly what happened I. just knew so so what happened was is my. mom didn't trust a lot of people right. you know and my mom love Tommy you know. because um you know she she just you. know she took to certain people you know. my mom took to certain people and she. really liked him and and she trusted him. so when she couldn't get up the stairs. you know cuz she would try to get up the. stairs you know she would call the store.
and she'd say can you help me up the. stairs and then he wouldd be like Mitsy. I can't you know what I mean I'm I'm you. know I'm here in the cover Booth there's. people I need help up the [ __ ] stairs. let's go and then and then that's when. you know Tommy would get R of zezy or. someone or someone to sit in Benji or. whoever and they'd sit in and he she. would go and I would be there and I. would like you know help yeah help bring. her up the stairs and then you know he. would sit with her for a long time and. watch the TV and sometimes not even go. back to.
work so he did stuff that you weren't. supposed to do as an employee but that's. what my mom was that's what the store. was the store was always about you know. helping people and if you stole you. stole that's on you you know yeah you. know so and was that ever proven that he. did it or I I don't know I wasn't. involved yeah I wasn't yeah I just heard. things and you're like well what even. happened you know and you never got to. really hear his side of it I feel like. either you know but um but um yeah so. but yeah you know um you had so recently.
Richard Simmons passed away yes was. there were you guys ever ever because. and I know you were trying to do you did. a great video kind of auditioning to. play him. yes and did you guys ever come to a like. real conclusion did you ever get to. actually talk with him about it um I. never I reached out to him I've known. him since I was little I sent some. flowers on Valentine's Day um this is a.
short film um oh the short film it's. called a court just Court J Jester. Jester and um I um I love him and I love. his story and I and and I wanted to do. his his his his um you know biopic so we. did this um yeah this short film and it. did it did really well for me you know. we were at Park City with it and you. know and and people just loved it play. some right there oh by the by halfway. into this I believe that it's him.
yeah and they go. [Applause]. crazy yes you guys are doing great now. we're going. [Applause]. [Music]. to it really seems like. [Music]. imp that's great yeah so um and he was. from Louisiana actually yes he was um. his brother Lenny yeah and so now since.
he's passed is there a would you still. try to do it like I don't know if that's. against the grain or whatever or is that. just can his estate hire you to do it. well here's here's the deal in in. reality first of all I'm just an actor. okay I'm not a lawyer you know but from. what I from what I've learned being in. this process that if you're a public. figure it's called an unauthorized. biopic. so for instance they happen every day so.
I mean the Pam and Tommy Hulu special or. Hulu do or Hulu series was unauthorized. oh wow you know they didn't so people. can just make it that's they do stuff. all the time that way so as long as you. don't don't do something mean you know. as long as I do it nice like this piece. is nice you're defaming him yeah you're. not defaming him then I'll be fine so. I'm in bed with a um a producer named. Mark walper w PE not Wahlberg and he's. been in the game for about um 50 years.
him and his family they have a deal. Warner Brothers and I have a great. writer named Jordan Allen Dutton who's. writing the script so I'm moving forward. with it and then but my instinct is like. your instinct is get his estate to kind. of be involved you know give them some. money but we'll see you know I'm kind of. at at the place where I just want to. make the movie and I just want to um. kind of do good by him and not defame. him and that's kind of my my come from. from the beginning and and it was never. about making fun of anything else you.
know his Richard saved lives like his. his he saved lives and he helped people. and that's kind of where my come from is. and at the end of the day yeah I'm a. comic but I'm a [ __ ] actor yeah you. know what I mean I started a lot of. movies and that's my main thing and. that's why I still sell tickets I don't. sell tickets because of my Netflix. special or you know I'm sell tickets. because of this cuz I've touched people. with my films and and so this is is is. lines up it's kind of like God gave me a.
softball I mean this is like a really. great opportunity for me and I'm going. to do it and it's going to happen and. we're getting the financing together. right now that's kind of where we are in. the process um but I got a great. producer that I've been in bed with on. this for about six months and we got a. great writer we got a great story we got. a great pitch and he's writing the. script right now wow so yeah so it's. happening yeah and I think you know say. if you had passed away and you knew. before you passed away you were like I. don't know if I want this guy to make. this thing about me or to be in it and. who knows if maybe also Richard Simmons.
was feeling embarrassed about himself he. you know sometimes it's like I just want. to go away if he knew he was sick. there's just so many little but then if. you did pass away and then somebody made. something it was really honoring you and. you got to see it I wonder how you would. feel I feel like I would probably feel. like man that's pretty. cool yeah well that's how I feel yeah. you know I feel that he would see it. just like he probably saw this he touch. people's lives like you said absolutely. and at the end of the day you know. publicly he came out and he says I'm I I.
don't yeah what did he say bring it up. he said he says I don't approve of. paully shore playing me in a biopic and. then he says he says I want Tom Cruz to. play me so obviously so I mean you know. that's a funny joke by the. way you know what I mean that's actually. you know what I mean but but here's. another thing Theo like how do we know. this was even him writing this [ __ ] oh. how do we even know. some twink that he met at the airport or. or one of his handlers you don't [ __ ].
know who was probably a twink that he. met at the airport let's be realistic. it's that what does it say I just read. that a man that I don't know it's. writing a script about Bible I do not. approve this movie I'm in talks with a. major Studio to create my own Bible pick. meanwhile you know he passes right so. obviously he you got to read the you got. to read your own room of your life like. if you're passing away you're not you're. not writing that type of stuff no you're. [ __ ] worried about trying to live. yeah dude you're [ __ ] counting te- cells. homie you're not over here [ __ ]. Milling around your that's another thing.
I want to get to the bottom I want to. get to the bottom line because you know. I love Richard and I know Richard loves. me and I know Richard loves my mom and I. know that I don't have a [ __ ] bad. bone in my body yeah and my come from is. all about love and and and you know and. uh putting it out in a positive positive. way and I don't know and I don't believe. that he's the one that that wrote all. this stuff that that you know and if. anything I got him out. meaning like I got him to to see to just.
speak yeah because he'd been so recused. for so long yeah people hadn't heard. from him in a long time bring up some of. the videos where he helped women um lose. some weight I mean he was the first kind. of uh influencer he was like a. professional wrestler that never. wrestled but danced the fat off of the. Midwest and other parts of America and. he made it fun yes the Ellen stuff is. great yeah. yeah there he is look look look at party. off the pounds right there I remember my.
grandmother had party off the pounds. dude and I would sit and watch her move. to this hilarious before she hated me. but still look at. him Come Dance With Me Come Dance With. Me come on can you come dance Too. exhale that's it again oh it's like. teletub he's kind of cuz he was he was. chubby too yeah and you know what would. happen is he would he would get involved.
with a relationship with like a an. oversized woman and then after the woman. lost all the weight then Richard would. just like give them the Irish goodbye. and just like spatch and just like peace. out cuz like he only wanted them for. their weight yeah just kind of wanted. wanted them wanted them while they were. chubby and you're not talking about. sexual relationship no no no no not at. all just like you know helping someone. and now you know it's kind of like if. you were chubby and I helped and poly. sure helped you and then all of a sudden. I got you skinny and you're calling me.
and I'm like you know I'm done with you. like onto the next like Superman onto. the next I needed somewhere else yeah. exactly and he did do he did do an Irish. goodbye that's now he love man though I. don't know if he did that's a good point. did he was he ever married let's look. that up no he never he never really you. know he never really was either a great. question was he and maybe he was just. like a piece of moon rock or something. where he uh he born Milton teagle.
Simmons down there in New Orleans. Louisiana on July the 12th and he died. July the 13th huh did you ever see him. when you in Louisiana I never did no I. met I think one of his uh great. granddaughters one time somewhere and. she was trying to come to one of your. shows trying to give me a BJ honestly. but this was and that's who knows what. was going on but he went to UL down. there and then he went to H Florida. State University but no children it says.
I don't think huh no he had a whole. bunch of dogs that was like his big. thing but I remember as a kid growing up. like when Richard Simmons was coming on. Letterman or Howard Stern or Ellen like. you would you would wait you know like. when Letterman was like yo come up next. is Richard Simmons you're like oh [ __ ]. and he would come out and he would just. kill he would kill harder than a. comedian like on the sofa he brought an. energy with him he was a real piece of. energy that man yeah um now if it's. homosexuality and would you ever would.
you you might if would you be willing to. do those type of scenes in it if you had. to to honor him if you were the other. guy oh sorry oh you're talking to me all. right dude look like I just got a part. huh the weasel and the rat bro this is. good that's cross-pollination dude so. you're acting though too you're in some. movies and stuff right what do you like. about acting you're trying to not talk. about yourself but that's okay um that's. sweet of you to change the subject Paul. you you do a good job making about other. people um I'm me David Spade and I wrote.
a movie and we're trying to get. financing for it huh cool so have you. have you acted a lot yeah some I like it. I think I I love acting acting is. [ __ ] hard yeah which I love well I. mean dude at the in the 90s and early. 2000 you were you were some people say. the biggest star in the. world at the time did you feel like that. at the in my 20s yeah I felt like that. cuz I was doing a lot I was doing a lot. that's why I said to you at The Comedy.
Store it was like 6 months ago I said. you're like me back when I was you know. but you in your 40s I was in my 20s I. can't even imagine yeah it was crazy I. did albums I did you know movies HBO. specials what helped you get your break. do you feel like your mom helped you you. feel like it was only is that a weird I. don't mean to be rude no no that's not. rude at all I don't know no no MTV but. my my mom didn't get me on MTV I got me. on MTV yeah 100% I mean they saw me and. they're like [ __ ] this kid's funny and I. got on MTV and it just it took off and.
then from there Jeffrey kenberg found me. and he was running Disney at the time. and he [ __ ] just wrote all these. movies for me and they all did well for. me do you remember like would they come. and see you at the store do you have to. go to meetings what was that like both. both I had my manager Michael rotenberg. from three that's your man that was your. manager yeah for eight years yeah he was. my manager the whole time Michael's a. cool dude really [ __ ] cool that's my. homie what's up Michael what's up Michel. what's up Michael rberg I call him. you do Chrisco cuz he's so greasy. bro renberg is cool man I like his we.
have a similar sense of humor and um I. yeah so he he ran my ran my [ __ ] him and. Adam vennett from CA yeah CA uh Rat ran. my stuff for those um it was like willly. Wonka I'm sorry I asked you if your mom. helped you get it no I don't care I know. this wasn't cool though okay well you. can cut that part out you can leave it. in I just feel a little bad just I don't. know why I said said that well I guess. it's a hard business and people take. whatever that whoever can help you.
sometimes it's good not that you didn't. stand here's what I meant it's not that. you didn't stand on your own Talent. that's what I mean yeah I think what we. need to do is take a take a silence you. know how like you s like if someone dies. yeah you do a silence and then you know. yeah and let's put these hats on too. yeah hats in the glasses just for asking. me if my mom got me in the show business. let's just take a time for okay you know. what I mean yeah let's do 5 Seconds huh. just like but we got to breathe think of. iasa I know we do that sometimes up in. the hills you know here we.
go Theo and myself are taking a little. moment to get that energy out of the. room that he put in there thinking that. my mom Mitsy Shore the owner of the. biggest comedy club in the world got me. my break in the entertainment business. wait there's still some bad energy just. anything Theo you want to add or BLM huh. okay we got it out that was good all.
right um no but it was just it was. um they saw me do. standup they saw uh do you know I would. um MTV M but was there a call that you. got one you like okay this is getting. [ __ ] crazy well after inom man came. out and it was a big hit for me and then. we rolled into son-in-law and it was. just like boom boom and they brought me. around the world you know you know what. I used to do I used to do when I used to. um when we used to do shows I used to.
never have people sitting it was always. Festival seating so I always had like a. band open for me like the Spin Doctors. they would open for me. and I would come out and do 45 minutes. people standing and in between my jokes. I would stage dive yeah oh and then just. come back to the stage. exactly I would stage that I would stage. dive and then I would come back and then. do more jokes that's kind of how it was.
but um it was called Festival seating. you remember as a kid You' go to those. concerts where there's no seats and then. I love how they call it Festival seating. there's no [ __ ] seats there's no. seats and then we would uh and then I'd. bring the band back out and then I would. sing songs and I had like this one song. that was a hit song on MTV called lisais. the one I adore do you remember it I. don't I'm a Stony crusty do with the mop. on top. my melon's fully tweaked but I'll never. stop stop trying to wee the nuts from.
coast to coast the ones with the cones. are the ones I dig the most sing Lisa. Lisa Lisa lisaa Stony body major Stony. body ma yeah that's how we I don't. remember it man dude you know where we. used to go that was [ __ ] insane tell. holy [ __ ] dude let's put our hats on. real quick too yeah our hat goes back on. [ __ ] dude it was uh it was uh don Baris. was the host [ __ ] what was it called oh. wonder it was called the mid uh evening.
at the um no it was uh the Sarah uh. sinking of the sahell no it was uh ding. no not the ding-dong show this is way. before this was uh [ __ ] I forgot the. name it wasn't like [ __ ] Wednesdays or. something no it was it was uh mud. wrestling it was mud wrestling it was. the Tropicana oh in Vegas no the. Tropicana here in Hollywood it was uh. right off of Hollywood Boulevard but he. used to host this thing and the girls. would come out and there was it would be. mud wrestling yeah and and Don Don.
hosted it it was [ __ ] hilarious dude. he had uh don is uh Don. has yeah I wouldn't Don that's for sure. no but it it was it was it was a big. deal I mean I bless him I wouldn't [ __ ]. him because he's a man that's why but. mud wrestling was a big deal back in the. 90s yeah um that's how it was yeah do. you think um you think Trump will be the. next. president I don't want to say anything I.
mean I don't want to say anything about. it I like watching it and just kind of. being a fan of uh the the political um. theater you know like just watching it. and not know I mean no one knows what. the [ __ ] going to happen but I know. there's going to be some it's going to. be it's going to be a real fight it's. kind of like UFC fight but for for you. know cuz it's basically they're fighting. for the most powerful job in the world. so they're going to go after each other. pretty [ __ ] hard I mean and they're. completely different I mean she's like a.
prosecutor for like sex trafficking or. something isn't she yeah I is I don't. know isn't she like I don't know I. thought she was an undercover cop or. something what was her original job she. was a district attorney previously. district attorney but didn't she like. she Pro wasn't she a. prosecutor yes like so she would. prosecuted on behalf of I think like uh. the Bay Area oh like. CSI I don't know. huh yeah I don't know but but either way. she's she's you know she's uh not a fan.
of trump right so they're GNA yeah it's. going to be a good bout and he's not a. fan of hers so it's going to be fun to. watch did you ever get to party with. Trump back in the day anywhere I did see. him a lot back in the day yeah what kind. of gu if he saw me he would [ __ ]. laugh yeah like he'd be like [ __ ] Paulie. Shore he'd be like you're still alive. what the [ __ ] how the [ __ ] are you still. around he was cool he was um the first. time I used to see him was in Daytona. Beach and this was back in the 9s this. was when we did um spring break for MTV. and all that you had Rodney Dangerfield.
Vince Neil was down there John litz and. Ron Rice was the owner of Hawaiian. Tropics that's when the hard tits came. out remember that yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah remember when hard ass. tits came out and Fabio remember Fabio. yeah he was around that was around like. look at my tits and they look like you. you could yeah like you went like that. it was like yeah yeah like if he touch. [ __ ]. s yeah like damn what do they would you. they would like lean over and you'd see. these like bags they'd be hanging out.
yeah and they would look like yeah they. it was like um it almost like somebody. was like had made him out of like dish. gloves or something like they were. like like they like if you put if you. pulled a shirt on them on you could hear. him. like just like damn [ __ ] are plastic. bro yeah and this one girl I was dating. this one girl her boobs started moving. bro oh yeah yeah this one he wound up on. her back but it was cool though cuz when. I was doing behind doggies they're right. there bro easy. access.
Chinese Chinese is cool Chinese cool so. yeah some of that is the Moon too. wherever the Moon is that's what's neat. about some of those women wherever the. Moon is that's where their tits will. go yep and that's beautiful a lot of you. guys know we started off with uh our. first Advertiser ever was gry block. Pizza get that hitter. baby and the owner of gry block Pizza my. Friend Thomas evolved his business up in. Oregon to start blue cube baths and he.
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it to a place where you feel comfortable. I I'll get in around 50 degrees for. about 10 or 12 minutes and that's what. really sets me and activates me I've. done it before podcast to really put me. and um just put me in my body and put me. in the moment you know the positive side. effects of cold plunging are are. countless you can follow blue cubes. Instagram for a chance to win your own. cold plunge this spring and summer. that's right they're giving one away.
They will announce the giveaway soon so. follow them at blue cube baths and uh we. wish them the best of luck um and thank. them for supporting the podcast so early. on but yeah I would see him at the uh at. the uh um Daytona Beach like the. Hawaiian Tropic what seem like this is. my number one thing about Donald Trump. right I've met him a few times but not. had a chance to really engage with him. right so an idea of him but you're. always like what is he like like you. know like you if I never got to talk to.
you I would have like you know some. general thoughts but I wouldn't really. know what what is he like like do you. know what he's like like is he like a. business guy is he just like a fun guy. that plays tennis like I think I wish I. knew more about how he is does that make. any sense yeah no I never had those type. of conversations where I'm like oh yeah. I remember one time we talked about this. it was always like kind of like when I'd. see Hugh Hefner. I would never really engage in a. conversation with him I'd always kind of. wave shake his hand and you know what I.
mean so with trump it was like the same. thing do you miss those parties over. there was that fun it was fun because it. was before the whole social media thing. but it's kind of like even driving down. Sunset Boulevard now is it's [ __ ]. depressing you know the store is the. only thing that's [ __ ] popping you. know what I mean yeah a lot of [ __ ] is. just [ __ ] yeah but you walk you drive. down sunset on a Saturday night there's. nothing it's just tumble weed people. don't go out people don't go out anymore. because people are scared they don't. want to be around the photos and the. videos and you know what I mean people.
so the parties are in the House people. stay in and also CO as well people. shifted and stayed in that unlike if you. go to Texas or Florida where people. don't give a [ __ ] oh the second I got to. Tennessee yeah people were spitting in. each other's mouth and [ __ ] like you. know what I'm saying that kind of [ __ ]. America's about you know yeah so. recycling but but here in La it's just. like um it's you know it's it has gotten. quieter huh yeah it's the C the the word. is Joy there's not a lot of joy in in. like Hollywood anymore there's no like.
fun although Silver Lake uh Echo Park. Los felis hipster those are [ __ ] fun. dude like that whole area East Hollywood. is [ __ ] it's fun yeah I yeah it is. interesting that Hollywood it's kind of. quieter now yeah and even when I went to. um where is everybody they're not going. out or they moved they moved and even. just in your life have you seen it just. it's changed so so much I think after Co. you know after Co and and all that that.
whole it just shifted into um you know a. different time cuz when Rogan and them. were at the store that was crazy too. remember that m i mean you go on a. Tuesday night bro and it was insane yeah. um here's a video this how bad Hollywood. is what is this this is a guy saying how. bad it is in Hollywood not fun it's not. joyful he's talking about uh just the. industry and what they're making right. now so I wonder if that's pry bad here. in Hollywood and now we have some. numbers to back it up uh Film LA has. just released their report on on. location and stage-based production data.
let's take a look at what this means. production in La is down uh way way way. down um from just last year um feature. films are down 3% 3.3% um versus a. 5-year average as we know things were. bad already it is. 23.8% down commercials are even worse. over 5e average 36.1% down television is. down. 45.8% and whatever other is is down 20%. so like industrial films short films.
just everything reality TV looks insane. um the purple line here is reality uh. there's Co there's the strike there's. where reality TV is in LA right now so. as you can see just across the board. everything is down all in all versus a. 5-year average production shoot days in. Los Angeles California the home of the. film industry are down. 33.4% wow so I got a little curious when. I went to the bureau Labor Statistics to. get the numbers on unemployment rates in. the motion picture and television. industry now they do lump the sound.
recording Industries in with this but as. you can see it's not good that is a. 16.1% unemployment rate in the motion. picture and television industry and that. is from June so that is not counting the. massive layoffs that just occurred again. at Warner Brothers Discovery and it's. definitely not counting all the ones. that are about to come yeah but so I. mean so just interesting and I'm not. saying all this is like exact but I just. I saw this the other day and I was like. wow yeah I wonder if there's just not as. many people here as well well it's also. the business is shifted yeah you know. the business is shifted to this I mean.
look how many millions of people watch. you doing this you know what I mean so. it's not you know everything and look at. the only fans girls I mean you probably. know a lot of women that you know back. in the day if you were a pretty girl and. you had to come to La you're Maxim. Playboy Penthouse Hustler FHM right and. that was it you had to get in one of. those now no one needs those and now you. got all these influencers doing and. making money so everything is shifted. you know so I think since 2015 16 17 you.
know the business has shifted and then. guys like Mark Wahlberg moved to Vegas. so they're trying to do a whole studio. out there so people make their own. things yeah doing their own thing so. people are are are saying like hey you. don't need to live in LA and especially. because the everyone's in a zoom world. now you no one goes to [ __ ] meetings. anymore I feel bad for people that own. Office Buildings yeah I mean think about. it I mean how big how big of a how big. of a nut is that CA building you've been. in there yeah it's [ __ ] massive it's.
huge in there you know how much that. that is for rent and the agent's. probably like I don't feel like going in. I'm gonna get sick or I'm going to stay. home or and they and they just let them. look at that yeah and then a lot of new. agencies kind of started up um when. social media started because or when. that when Tik Tok and and and people. popped off on Instagram they start they. join like groups like shots have you. heard of them um who owned shots or who. started. shots s h o. TS but it's the wild west but that.
became like the agency it was like a new. you know what I'm saying cuz CA and they. weren't even on board you know different. agencies weren't even seeing this sort. of thing you. know um yeah so I mean the you know. shots podcast. Network shots podcast network is a. company oh founded by John shahii I. didn't even know that and Sam Shahi I. know these guys the company was. originally founded as a software. development company um in. 2009 um in November 2019 Spotify.
announced a suite of podcasts and. included a partnership with shots. podcast Network um but yes groups like. shots became the representatives for uh. for a lot of talent and so they weren't. even working with the agen you know the. original agencies anymore the big. agencies yeah you know it's it's it's. changed well it's completely changed. yeah the other day someone was like you. want to be in a movie and I was like is. it going to be 40 seconds long is it and. is it going to be on TI Tok that's. hilarious yeah kids can't even watch a.
movie without taking a pill now some. kids they like Mom give me two pills I'm. going to watch a movie give me half a no. I can't that's same with me I got to. have a pill when I watch my movies. too no but it's true like you know you. watch you know you're watching the the. you're watching the news then you're. watching your Netflix then you're on. your Instagram and you're looking at. your thing it's [ __ ] up but it is the. way it is it's like he's got us Steve. Job got us he won huh yeah he got us I. mean we're basically we're this and it's. just the way it is you know what I mean.
and the the wildest part Paulie I think. one thing is that PE some people for. years have been like you think we'll. live forever you think it'll be a time. where we'll live forever and now I do. but it's not in the way we think it's. going to be in a digitized way it's like. eventually from this episode alone. they'll be able to make a you and a me. that can exist in some virtual world. where you could talk to a. this is good we could be in Japan. tomorrow yeah this Isa.
hey you know it's about the numbers it's. about the eyeballs you know you Joe Tony. uh Shane Gillis you know all these guys. like you [ __ ] tapped into it you know. what I mean it's I mean you don't need. all that [ __ ] because at the end of the. day everyone's coming after you now I. mean they see the tickets you're selling. they see the numbers that this is you. know what I mean it's [ __ ] crazy like. if you wanted to Star on your own Theo. Von series like [ __ ] everybody what's.
the guy everybody loves uh you know what. I mean Randy or whatever yeah the Randy. red was no the [ __ ] uh Rick. Springfield in it who was in it no you. know what I'm saying uh what the [ __ ] is. uh everybody Raymond tires no the guy no. not no no the guy uh what the guy that. started in the Christmas movies oh I. know you're talking about uh no Ernest. Saves Christmas oh yeah up Ernest Ernest. says Christmas you're the next guy let. me produce these movies it'll be good.
look at there you go see this is what. you got to do come on dude this will be. dude you're the Moder day [ __ ] nnest. bro no that guy was a BLM activist. dude look at this guy how great would. this be we could do [ __ ] Theo Saves. Christmas Theo [ __ ] goes to you know. on Theo saves $40 too Chinese go to his. go to his IMDb yeah here we go see we. can just take your head out take your. head out and put your [ __ ] his head out. and put your like what is this Ernest. Saves Christmas Ernest Goes to Camp so.
just change the name [ __ ] uh Theo. Saves Christmas Theo Goes to Jail Ernest. Goes to rehab I could. do say Ernest Goes to detox dude I would. do a series of these bro that's what I'm. saying go to remedial reading D we go to. court Ernest Goes to Africa Theo goes to. Africa Theo goes to the Army this is you. bro if Ernest Goes to Africa Ernest Goes. to the AIDS clinic too probably I'm. guessing and no offense to Africa those.
are rumors and a lot of that's on redit. so what do you think I mean this is we. can just can you guys can you guys. Photoshop Theo's head on top of his head. well that's a thing Paul they're just. going to be able to as long as they. license you or whatever they and put you. in a movie dude but yeah but we got to. do it for you you're hot right now this. could be good scr up to the top yeah you. don't want to [ __ ] do a David Spade. movie do [ __ ] Theo scared of stupid. Theo's scared and stupid it's perfect I. mean you could just do your face let put.
his face back up there put his dumb face. dude can you do black face in the future. let's be honest no no no no no we don't. want to do that here put his face back. now dude look at this wait here we go at. least we should be able to do Native. American face right yeah see this guy do. this face right here do it yeah that's. what I'm saying hold on. yeah I mean that's a [ __ ] hit dude I. don't know I don't think anything Al. like you got to do a series of movies. this is great it's perfect timing I.
don't know man go straight to here each. week M but maybe I don't know I mean the. thing about Spa I notic is like this. what I heard about movies it's fun if. you're with your friends dude and if you. have to be somewhere stuck somewhere for. a while and it's not your friends or you. want to sit there every night and have. dinner with then it just seems like it's. not as fun you know yeah that's why I. could never be in that movie cuz Dave is. in it really we're not friends friends. y' aren't no [ __ ] that guy no I'm just. kidding no he's my friend I met him you. know I met him I did a movie with George.
Burns no way from The Gods Must Be Crazy. no it's called 18 Again George Burns you. remember George Burns from The Gods Must. Be Crazy wasn't he the old guy here go. put up George Burns 18 again right there. so this is George Burns this was my. first movie ever George Burns was a. comedian back in the day he oh I know he. was George bur he lived about 98 years. old yeah that guy so I did this movie. this guy on the left his name's Charlie. schlauer MH so I played Charlie. schauer's best friend in 18 again oh.
yeah so that's why I Met George Burns. and that's when I met David Spade. because David Spade was best friends. with Charlie schlauer so I've known. David Spade since I was 19 wow David's I. mean how has he always had so much luck. with the ladies be honest man I don't. know he's he's sexy oh oh dav's a close. friend of mine I think he's handsome. he's he's one of the funniest guys yes. but how did he get so I mean there's. other there's a lot of guys that are. like that not like him he's special but.
how dides he the guy is you know yeah. he's he's yeah he's good he's like the. David Copperfield of straight dudes man. yeah he's he's he's he's a g he's a. gorgeous man yeah he's a gorgeous man. well is that true I don't there you go. see Ernest or put we got to put Theo. goes to school though yeah these guys. are fired yeah you know what I'm. saying look well they have one job they. left Ernest on the thing. D damn I'm joking I'm joking man oh oh.
put Theo goes to BLM rally too dude I'll. [ __ ] roll up at that [ __ ] dude huh I. say we do a series of [ __ ] Ernest. movies and just change it to Theo and. just do the same [ __ ] script no one's. going to know the kids aren't going to. remember this [ __ ] guy dude most. people can't even see that far how how. far can people see usually what do you. mean I'm just saying like uh. how far can somebody. see what is that what is that the. average sight distance for a person with.
normal vision is about three miles get. [ __ ] dude when standing on a flat. surface with their eyes about 5et above. the ground that is. [ __ ] I thought it was like 70 feet. or. something why are you asking this. question uh I'm not sure exactly I guess. what were you we were just talking about. David Spade average re oh whatever man. we'll move it along um when Bobby Le. came what was that like when you saw him. first cuz a lot of people you know are. like what is it you know he was just.
adorable I mean he was you remember him. yeah I I discovered him you know I. discovered him I didn't know you didn't. know that I didn't yeah yeah no I found. him where'd you see him at Panda. Express he was getting some on chicken. no I saw him naked at a Korean spa oh. yeah no for real I saw him um at he's. from San Diego yeah in uh it was a yeah. a restaurant called uh Brockton Villa.
and he was like a server there and I was. there with my mom I think I was there. with my mom or my brothers or something. and I said um yo you got to you're. [ __ ] hilarious come to The Comedy. Store so I got him a gig at The Comedy. Store he was taking tickets in La Hoya. yeah in La Hoya The Comedy Store there. and you just thought he was funny from. the interactions yeah just cuz he was. adorable and then um he started taking. tickets at the uh at the La Hoya room. and then he started going up on open mic. night and then I would see him down. there and every time I'd come down there. and play you know I'd kind of put him up.
in front of me and then eventually I. took him on the road and then he became. a paid regular at the at Riviera Hotel. in Las Vegas when my mom was there to. see me and he opened for me at the. Rivier hotel in the late 90s and then um. and that's when my mom made him a paid. regular she says you're funny can work. the store right then yeah and then um. yeah so I discovered. that's awesome you did all that for him. yeah and then he opened for me for 8. years he toured with me for8 years.
opened for me on the bus and the whole. thing kind of like Ari You Know M they. opened for you he just opened for me we. did merch I got I got videos of him. [ __ ] chicks yeah yeah it's [ __ ]. great I'm going to release him on the. next time he's got something coming out. you know oh yeah yeah oh this was Guest. House wow so you guys went through all. that together what was he like then cuz. and was he what ethnicity was he cuz. people were like he. Korean he's not Korean I don't know.
bring up. Korea you think he's like M you think. he's from like Thailand or something I. don't know he looks more like Osaka to. me or whatever huh but I don't know yeah. so you know so I I've written some. scripts with him I got a great script. called captured where I capture him and. put him in a cage in my backyard oh yeah. and um we did this he's done a lot of. stuff with me he's in guest house and. back there feeding him pine nuts he's an. interesting guy you know yeah he's one. of a kind would he sleep all day back.
then or was he a more of a morning. person cuz he's devolved into a. nighttime he's he's awake like 5 hours a. day you know it's definitely very. specific style of living yeah he um I. don't know he would he would hide from. me a lot he'd always hide from me one. time he cried on the road with me he. cried because uh I wanted to it was um. we were in Detroit and um that'll do it. and uh sorry D no no we were in Detroit.
and uh you know the the the road manager. gives everyone their their hotel Keys. you know so Bobby goes to his key and I. just followed him in his room and he. he's like what are you doing I'm like. I'm staying with you tonight you know I. want to stay with you in the room and he. wasn't into that and I'm I'm like no. dude cuz I don't have anyone I'm lonely. I want to be I don't want to go back to. my room by myself yeah and I uh you know. he then he started crying and then when. he cried I just left but um yeah yeah oh. yeah he's definitely and the crazy thing. about him crying it it's like one tear.
gets in his eye and it's. yeah yeah he's doing great now too it's. full but I again I told him I said dude. it's going to happen for you he was. always neurotic really yeah well yeah he. was you know before his podcast he was. just trying to Fig he wasn't he barely. was selling out comedy clubs wow you. know what I mean I've always he's one. guy who could never change a word from. his set and I would every single time.
there's just actually when he walks up. it's already the the setup is already. there yes and not in a negative way the. setup is already there um yeah no I love. Bobby Bobby is um very very close with. him I do see him at the Korean spa. sometimes he gets really [ __ ] freaked. out when I go again really yeah he. showed his butt hole to some kids. somewhere I don't know where that was at. I'm trying to remember if I don't know. if there's a video of that definitely a. drawing of it um yeah but he's uh he's a. good dude you know he's doing good yeah.
he's doing good so yeah everyone you. know who else is doing good Jus Trejo. he's doing good too he's always been so. funny D yeah so he opened for me for. eight years too dang eight years yeah a. lot of these guys eight years shafir. opened for me Rick Ingram opened for me. all these guys yeah it's cool I love. bringing those guys out on the yeah. that's one cool thing about the store is. just like. it's just I don't know once you get in. there and you make your way through and.
you've been there for a while and you. know who's who and you kind of you. develop your own little relationship. with the space and the people you love. to see and people come and go and the. people that work there and it's like it. is just such a universe you know we're. lucky to be able to have a workplace. that has a lot of joy and like different. people at it and you it's fun like. imagine you get to go to work and it's. actually you can say what you want. you're encourage real HR in fact HR is. like HR is encouraging you to [ __ ]. say crazy [ __ ] I never thought about.
that man that's such a crazy blessing. dude do you think your mother felt uh. very achieved with her with the comedy. club yeah I mean she's you know and. that's you know the way the way that. it's still the way that it's left right. now is exactly how she left it which is. awesome you know she just put her stamp. on it she's leave it alone don't [ __ ]. with it and you know and just like you. know the rooms are set up the way there. are and different than the laugh Factor.
different than the Improv different. Vibes those are great clubs um but you. know she she kind of created the black. and the red and all that stuff and you. know and created that space so yeah. pretty T yeah it's yeah you wouldn't. want it to change was there ever a. chance that it was going to be sold at. some point um I don't know I don't think. we'd ever sell it you know what I mean I. think just kind of leave it it's you. know it's it's got to be a uh uh what's. it called a Hollywood or a landmark or. what's it called grandfather what's it. called oh yeah it's like a um historical.
landmark historical landmark at some. point huh yeah I think so so um yeah. that's a good point I remember somebody. I don't know if I saw a drawing. somewhere that a hotel had drawn around. it they were going to build and leave it. intact as is on the ground and build up. and just you know it was like a 20 story. hotel and it would be right under. exactly the same huh remember seeing a. somebody had put that together I don't. know if it was an AR I think it was an. architect drawing I don't know if it was. actually considered at one point but I.
thought I remembered seeing that. somewhere. um what uh when you um when you look at. your life and like maybe having a family. do you have any children my dog that's. like Scott your brother has the same huh. is it children Scott's got a dog you. know he's got a dog um yeah I got a dog. um I don't know I. mean that's a whole other podcast okay. that's like a [ __ ] you know what I. mean we'll do it we talk about time. [ __ ] that's a good point you know.
what I mean that's a whole there you go. that's my dog Buster oh that's cute yeah. when you look at guys like Brody Stevens. right who have had who what a shock was. that is that do you feel like things. like that happen with suicide amongst. Comedians and stuff it happens I mean. Jack Knight remember Jack. Knight who is that bring up Jack Knight. who is is he so funny great. energy you remember Jack.
Knight huh remember seeing. him yeah I think two years ago he took. his life huh I mean one of the funniest. young. men. heartbreaking um yeah sometimes it's. it's hard to get your mind to just. [ __ ]. relax you know what I mean and I think. it's important it sounds kind of corny. but I think it's really important that. everyone focuses on what they have as. opposed to what they don't have and I. think that is like the key you know like.
you got to focus on your blessings you. know um as opposed to you know yeah. because the other ways are tra because. there's no into you can. like yeah focusing on what you don't. have and try I mean I fall I fall into. it all the time you know but it's just a. it's such a trap or wanting more and. then not even enjoying the saddest thing. I think is sometimes when I look back on. certain moments of my life and I'm like. man I wish I had enjoyed that a little. more just by being present or just by.
sitting there quietly or by letting it. in yeah letting it in yeah and so what. are you doing with all your. money I've been saving some money some I. mean [ __ ] everyone sees the Arenas like. you [ __ ] Arenas dude sigura [ __ ]. oh those guys have been making some. money dude I mean what do you I mean. Jesus Christ dude I wouldn't know what. to do that I mean it's crazy you got to. put it away bro you can I mean you don't. spend on yourself just like me yeah.
right you got a Jeep or yeah I got a. Jeep Cherokee like I don't like I've. never been that guy either I felt. embarrassed. inviting watch to my apartment when I. was a kid cuz I was ashamed of it and I. feel embarrassed sometimes I have a. house in Nashville it's not a it's a. nice home I'm not and it's it's not like. an estate or anything but I feel ashamed. even sometimes showing that it's like I.
just I don't know yeah I'm trying to. rent out my house now too oh yeah it's a. beautiful home yeah I'm trying to rent. out the house too with all that what's. that like uh terracotta yeah terra cotta. tile no just because it's like you said. like I'm just one guy with my dog you. know and then I have a condo in Vegas. you know I kind of yeah you live there a. lot yeah I st I stalk you at the resorts. world so my uh I see your poster there. all the time so I I you know it's right. there so I have like a one-bedroom condo. and I got all my [ __ ] there and it feels. more comfortable than my house in La.
yeah because you know I'm just one guy. you know the older you get the realize. the less you need I don't want to be. that guy that's that by himself with his. dog in this big house oh you know what I. mean so I just don't like I don't like. living in a big house you know it's not. who I am yeah think some things that are. kind of this is kind of [ __ ] emo and. sad and is definitely going to be. accused of. light homosexuality but um yeah like. sometimes I'll lay in bed at night and. like just the the the space in my bed it.
feels [ __ ] Lonesome you know but then. sometimes if a girl wanted to stay over. I'd be like I don't know if I like. having somebody stay over right so it's. like I just yeah everything I'll sleep. in the other room right yeah yeah no if. a girl stays at night I'm like I'm going. to go peace out in the other. room okay and then but but when you. sleep alone at night what do you do what. do you how do you sleep okay here's what. I do so first I wash my face brush my. teeth put in my retainers put on a. Breathe Right strip on my nose right I.
want all the o is that from all the coke. I don't know what it's from it could be. just from having a big nose it could be. from cocaine it could be a mix of things. it could be from Satan who knows what. happened so you put the stuff on here. put the thing on and then uh I'll lay. down put a pillow between my legs get. another pillow that I hold on to set the. air conditioner at 69. cuz I don't want to be too crazy and. then and you start 69ing your pillow and. I'll pee I will pee right before I go to.
sleep and hope I don't have to pee all. night that's my goal is to not have to. pee all night and then what about sleep. medication be honest yep I'll take uh a. couple melatonin chewies yeah and then. I'll take a um there's a pill from my. doctor it's a um a Xanax no no it's no. it's so light it's like. [ __ ] it's just basically like uh it's. like a little queer nugget I mean this. thing wouldn't it'll barely do nothing.
and why is it that you think you need to. take the Melatonin melatonin in this. pill from the doctor wait stop wait. three seconds to answer think about it. um why do you have to take that in order. to to sleep is it a psychological thing. do you really feel like it really. Mellows you out or do you think that it. Mellows you out I think it Mellows me. out really and I got to shut it. down especially after a show right oh. yeah [ __ ] and right now I. am I think I'm 64 days off of. masturbation and 60 days off of por 64.
days off pornography and SE and 57 days. off of masturbation so then you were. doing it a lot not a lot but i' had done. it for countless years yeah yeah but. back when you were young even in your. 40s you're jerking off all the. time really yeah don't you like to save. your C I mean yeah I like to store up. for winter or whatever I guess I don't. know but it's like yeah because if. you're going to come with a chick you. want a lot to come out I don't know want. to get crazy you know I don't want her. to being like God we got to you know. you're ruining the curtains or when you. have sex with a girl do you put a condom.
on or she put it on if she tells you to. put it on look if people want to use a. condom we let them use them you know. who's we what I know who we are your. honor I don't know who we are okay talk. to my attorney right and sometimes you. put it in and then they're like yo. you're having sex with girls without. condoms you're like oh what are you. talking. about that's [ __ ] right I don't know. what you're talking about I don't know. what you're talking about either bro. that's crazy dude that's why this is. going a different way okay um how long. were your parents separated you remember.
who who whoa whoa whoa we're not going. to my [ __ ] parents all of a talking. about you [ __ ] your pillow um dude. you remember the first time you ever had. sex or wait wait wait wait let's go back. to your sleep situation okay we're going. back three seconds I'm laying there got. all my stuff oh and then I'll put stuff. in my hair to try and keep my hair. healthy so just like type of copper foam. there's like a foam you can get online. what about propa um I take finasteride. pill P oh yeah you taking the stb one I. take the uh freelance one or whatever. what's the freelance one it's the one.
that you can get out the guy's van or. whatever down there oh. wow finast Rod oh I should get some of. is it a pill it's the same thing you're. taking it's just the generic version. well you're rich why don't you get the. real propia yeah but I'm [ __ ] used to. just the all just off what about the. generic Calis oh dude I took the stuff. from India for a while would make my. legs sweat. so the generic Calis or it was just like. an Indian um did you take the Calis or. the Viagra it was just that [ __ ] ramp.
maker from India baby that thing will. [ __ ] good Lord son really oh you. could [ __ ] knit a scarf with that. thing BR that [ __ ] yeah what's it. called that thing a whistle for a cab. baby that thing uh it went it was a. website it went. under um it was off this gambling site. or whatever but I I used to get them it. would take forever to get the pills they. come in this package and they had like. do you ever get massages yeah who's your. masseuse you don't have to tell me the. guy's name or the girl's name it's a man.
so yeah he comes over to the house with. the table no no no I go to his place. it's off Westwood Boulevard why don't. you have him come to your house with the. table I got a guy dude he's strong as. [ __ ] no I got a guy he's great dude I. don't need some guy to come over and. touch me dude you know what I'm saying. wait touching you at your house is. different than touching you at a [ __ ]. his his facility who gives a [ __ ] you. think I'm [ __ ] Protestant or. something dude I'm good bro at least D. then I can leave otherwise I have to. tell the guy to yeah I don't want some. guy touching me at my [ __ ] house dude. really no huh no dude even if he's a.
professional massuse and he just came. from David gein's. house dude a professional massuse is. just some guy that printed something off. the internet dude no I got a guy who's. really strong really strong okay but how. about this and he comes to my house he. has a table and he's coming T night. because I'm flying to Raleigh tomorrow. so I want to get a little deep tissue. before. um but you tell me this you say you go. look online we have nobody I don't look. online okay it's I don't look online for.
massas no way no I just get it from a. referral you ask a homie that's like hey. do you oh yeah this girl she's really. strong D and you ask someone you just. get it that way you're right I got a. strong guy com to the. house okay okay you win dude look I look. I like going to see this guy I will say. this my guy where's your house where do. he live I live in Nashville but in no. out here Westwood so you have a place. out in Westwood I have an apartment in. Westwood yeah huh okay I'll send them in. your house for me I'll buy your M I'll.
buy a massuse for you I'll buy the Muse. for you and then go do it and then tell. me if you [ __ ] like it okay and he's. strong as [ __ ] is he very strong I want. very strong I want somebody who just. yeah no he'll get in there he's [ __ ]. good dude okay yeah I'll do that yeah. for my present for you because at the. yes because at the end of the day you're. up there on stage you're traveling. you're making people laugh you got to. take care of your shoulders what about. the spa you go the Russian bath house or. but I do start getting steam room now I. do do that yeah so the Korean spa I do.
start getting steam room now and it's. good I went yesterday you have to I. didn't realize I needed to take care of. myself dude I do all the time I go five. days a week [ __ ] I didn't know that so. dude I I [ __ ] it killed me dude my. hair got th all kind of stuff because I. wasn't taking care of myself I just. didn't know yes and in Vegas there's a. place called Imperial Spa oh I've heard. of that yeah yeah and it's good it's a. it's Korean spa but also there's all. those spas in the coal plunge and all. that [ __ ] you got to do that I got a CO.
Plunge at home my friend makes a good. coal plunge and he gave me one as a gift. uh and he was my first sponsor ever on. my podcast he used to own a pizza place. here oh wow my friend Thomas and uh used. to run a place called grey block pizza. and then he moved to Bend Oregon and. started making uh Co plunges Co plunges. yeah out there with his buddies. beautiful yeah cuz it's all about. sweating what about the workout what do. you do with that uh I'm going get a. trainer like two days a week and then. I'll go myself probably one or two days. a week I'll do a little bit of yoga too.
stretch lab do you go to get stretched. no I do my own yoga that's good. chiropractor no but I need to go this. morning I was looking at myself I was. like Jesus I got a good chiropractor out. here too really really good yeah I was. looking at my body in the mirror I was. like Jesus what is that you know it just. seemed like it was like [ __ ] like it. was like. yeah sh my my whole body look just. wasn't sure you know what I'm like 10. years older than you yeah so it's like. you know this is the age where you got. to start stretching yeah that's the more.
most important thing in sweating yeah. yeah do it all yeah I'm starting to. learn a little bit more of that um now. you can only get kind of so famous right. like Fame is different now it feels like. everybody's pretty popular kind of it's. like everybody is yeah cuz there's so. much see stuff to see quickly it used to. be you had to go see a movie and then. those people would be famous but now in. the time it would take you to watch a. movie you can look at 200 different. people and all of them have a level of. achievement to you um do you feel like.
you got Fame at like the best. time yeah I mean I was it was I think it. was the last great decade of it I mean. if you look at the 60s 7s ' 80s 90s that. was all kind of similar and then once. reality reality shows hit you know the. real world I think that was like the. first reality show which was in like in. the mid 90s yeah I think that's when. things got [ __ ] up. but yeah no um it was you know it was. pretty that's so crazy you know like did. you ever get to party with like um.
Michael. Jackson no I met him once you did yeah I. met him once but it wasn't like we hung. out it was just like a high type thing. but I mean back in the MTV days I met a. lot of you know but do you remember the. sound of his voice or anything or no. hi hi what's going on hi paully I like. your music video show it's very cute. really yeah thank he was [ __ ] amazing. yeah I mean God yeah he was you know you. look at guys like Bruno Mar is super.
talented right but not Michael Jackson. yeah or Prince you know these guys were. like you know another level yeah and. they had a level of mystery and it was. like. yeah but um yeah there was just so much. I don't know but also MTV was was was. the biggest thing in the world yeah it. was the biggest thing in the world and. only thing between kids watched yeah. yeah oh you're watching MTV come over. let's watch Mt let's watch crazy. remember TRL oh yeah total request live.
and who was the host on it uh Carson. Daly yeah Carson Daly dude and he would. toss to like Britney Spears or corn Lim. biscuit you know wlef yeah this was like. one of the last great eras here wow BR. spear do you ever get to party with. her not. really um no not. really she's in her own thing she did. steal my table recently in Las Vegas oh.
she showed up at a club she's oh no I. was having dinner at catch in Vegas over. at the Arya and I went to the bathroom. and then she [ __ ] I guess she hit. some security guy and then he went she. went in and then I come back to my. [ __ ] table and she's sitting in my. table by herself no she's with her. boyfriend or husband or here look at. this right here she keeps getting. different husbands or whatever. yeah yeah so look she touches this guy. the security hits her in the face wow.
yeah maybe one more time and then she. runs. into the uh catch and I didn't care you. know what I mean it's not like I'm get. out of my table but she ran to catch cuz. she was probably in bed yeah and she. went in there and I was like all right. just give me my fanny pack you can have. the table I don't care um did she say. anything or no she said sorry it's all. good wasn't a big deal um was she how. did she seem okay she seemed buzzed yeah.
you know but she's from where you're. from oh dude you can get buzzed down. there right oh just looking at your. cousin yeah get you hard or not hard. buzzed I meant yeah no I know down. Louisiana there's no comedy clubs in. Louisiana is that crazy do you remember. the used to be the Baton Rouge Funny. Bone did you ever go to it yes bro that. place had a strip club across the street. yeah yeah we used to do comedy down. there back in the day I played a lot of. clubs back there back in the9 New. Orleans didn't even have a club the what.
New Orleans doesn't have a comedy club. this is where it was oh across the. street wow right there that was it the. funny bone baby Baton Rouge Funny Bone. and. um rest in peace uh is that the strip. club The Penthouse that's hilarious that. was it oh my God down here Bennington a. baby that's where I got my start right. over there yeah and then. um yeah dude what happened to me I went. to the store I was on the porch one time.
right getting a beer I was just coming. out here and uh Tommy comes out and he's. like well haven't seen you here in a. while and bro I'd never been there I. think he had me confused with somebody. oh that's [ __ ] hilarious he's like. why don't you come in tomorrow I'll give. you a spot right like all right [ __ ]. year was this [ __ ] I don't even know. 2017 maybe no no that's insane no 2007.
yeah yeah years sorry dude what the [ __ ]. 17 my calendar's broken um Paulie Shore. yeah man I'm glad we got to sit down. finally me too I want to have I would. love to talk again about we'll talk. about the relationship stuff one day. yeah cuz I think we're similar there's. like a lot it's tough you know what I. mean yeah you know and there's also. something nice about being alone you. know and having and that grows over time. too yeah you know um you always you know.
you always get people asking the same. thing which is what you ask me do you. want kids and there's like a long pause. and like with the right situation I. think I would I'd be a good dad I know. I'd be a good dad and everyone says that. to me yeah you know cuz I love my not to. compare my dog to a kid but I treat my. dog great and I love being with and I. feel like it's my kid yeah you know so. um yeah and then also another thing is. like my parents are deceased and I don't. have that so it's like you know so you.
start a new life you know cuz I'm an. orphan you know you know and and and I. want to you know start a new life and. look at my next 20 30 years and I think. it' be cool to have a kid you know but. again like it's got to be the you know. and make them laugh dude that would be. cool yeah make your kid laugh all the. time or what if they don't even laugh at. your jok you're like damn hilarious. that' be fun that would be [ __ ]. funnier gosh but um yeah it would be. really nice man it would be really. really nice it's tough though because I.
think as a comedian part of you is still. a kid in in some ways MH you know I. think it's a part of that that we don't. let go of and it's so for some of us or. for me for sure is your parents still. with us it's tough to evolve yeah my. mother's still alive and your dad um and. my dad is dead but he'd be alive if he. could and then you have brothers and. sisters yeah I got three brothers and. sisters they've all had children or two. of them have had kids so there been kids. it's fun being uncle's great so then. yeah I saw you on your Instagram when. you were home with them yeah we had a.
blast do you do you have nieces and. nephews yes I do oh good yeah yeah Peter. has some children yep oh that's cool. yeah yeah yeah so um yeah we'll see it's. cool we'll. see but anyways possible Paulie man. thank you so much dude I really. appreciate it yeah can I plug my stuff. real quick yeah let's do it we'll plug. it at the beginning for you too what is. it it's my podcast it's called the PMS. podcast show love to have you on it it's. over at Jam in the van which is awesome. and then I have my oneman show called. stick with the dancing which is in the.
Richard Simmons biopic of course we're. going to be doing that as well so that. video is so impressive if you haven't. gotten a chance to see it we played a. little bit of it here but uh Court. gesture yeah God it's amazing dude yeah. and best of uh that's cool man. congratulations dude on staying creative. and just on your propensity to be uh. hopeful and positive for other people. that's really it's a nice gift to have. you know. yeah and then also just so you know I. didn't say this but we sleep the same I. do the same thing pillow between my legs.
69° [ __ ] in my hair stuff on my eyes you. know seing in my you know right here. that's good you forgot that Chinese. [Music]. Chinese later dudes now I'm just. floating on the breeze and I feel I'm. falling like these leaves I must be. Corner. Stone oh but when I reach that ground. I'll share this piece of my I found I.
can feel it in my. bones but it's going to take.
