Nikki Glaser | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #502

I have some new tour dates to tell you. about we've added a third show in London. on June 16th at the EV Tim Apollo. tickets go on sale Tuesday May 14th at. 10:00 a.m. local time we also have shows. in New York City on May 31 Belfast in. the UK on June 6th that's an added show. June 7th is sold out Idaho Falls we've. added a show on June 27th.

Salt Lake City Utah on June 30th and Las. Vegas Nevada on July 5th and. 6th uh at Resorts World Las Vegas get. all of your tickets at theovon. docomo and uh if tickets are too. expensive just wait we'll come back. around uh make sure you buy them through. our link um and not off of a secondary. site thank you guys so much for your. support today's guest is a comedian uh.

she's my friend uh she's one of the. roasters from the recent Tom Brady roast. on Netflix she's one of the best. Roasters of all time uh she has a new. special out on HBO called someday you'll. die today's guest is Nikki. [Music]. Glazer I'll sit and tell you my stories.

shine on. me and I will find a. [Applause]. song yeah I um let me get a sip of this. coffee something think I'm going to talk. about to a. woman different yeah really all. good yeah dude talking to a dang woman.

are you kidding me really yeah it's the. biggest fear in a inside of a man I. think is talking to a woman some people. they men will yeah men they can't yeah. people sometimes can't talk to a woman. yeah I I feel that. way I I I have a nervousness around men. like that I think fell away when I. started doing comedy cuz I just felt. like oh I'm one of the boys now like men. don't treat me differently they don't. see me sexually like even though.

sometimes I do want to be seen that way. but I don't think about it much anymore. but yeah I I I've used to feel that way. all the time but now I feel like I. relate to men sometimes more than women. and enjoy having conversations because I. feel like I pull out like a feminine. energy from men that I like that they. don't get to express a lot like I like I. like when the guys I'm a guy I'm dating. has women friends because he gets to. like release some emotion that doesn't. have to come out on me it does I don't. have to be the only only place for that.

cuz he doesn't feel safe doing it to me. because it's not sexy he can do it with. his girlfriends that there's no sexual. Vibe so he can get cuz women are asking. lesbian friend too you could cry on a. lesbian oh you absolutely I mean they I. can't because it gets sexual yeah but a. man can cry in a lesbian like they get a. little too comforting to me when I cry. there should be like a place like in. nature or on I'm not going to say like. street corners or whatever but where. there is a devout lesbian who is you.

know who is um totally has gone through. whatever the steps are to be a lesbian. and is and is there to take the journey. off of a man to to just shoulder some of. the burden you know because a lot of men. didn't get either one of their parents. because one of their parents was gone. because of divorce and then the other. parent because of that had to work so a. lesbian a tough lesbian too not one of. these little Las Vegas nightly rental. Les I'm talking about a real [ __ ].

oatmeal eating lesbian do you ever feel. though that lesbians like have no use. for you because you're a man oh yeah dud. like that they're just like get the [ __ ]. out of here I don't need to deal with. this [ __ ] yeah we are we are the ugly. women the. lesbians that's what a man is you're the. ugly you just how does an ugly woman. feel cuz the lesbians aren't going after. her either so that's an ugly woman is an. ugly woman to everyone [ __ ] [ __ ] that's. why that's why it's so important. important to stay like hot you feel like.

if no one wants you really you think. that yeah it's I think it's yeah is an. ugly man acceptable D I think there are. certain like gay guys that. Areo no I'm joking dude every these days. first of all everybody looks pretty good. these days can we say that well if you. have money there's no reason you you. better look good that like it's expected. but even the government is like buying. people teeth and phones phone cards.

it's. like I feel like. everybody everybody kind of almost looks. the same now really yeah I agree. everybody's about like an eight and then. you have some people that true or I. don't know there's definitely some. people that are tens but everybody's. kind of like a eight or seven but the. tens were like born tens and you can't. like buy you can buy a nine yeah you. can't buy a 10 like when that's just. like you see a model and they're just. like an alien like they they're very. rare though they're probably more rare. than Psychopaths or something you know I.

mean percentage wise yeah only God makes. tens huh yeah that's a good yeah a. doctor can't they try they can get like. 9.2 yeah they can get like you can a. good one but even it's hard to find a. doctor that can do that kind of work. yeah no it's Dr God Dr God baby God luck. yeah um but yeah there's no like you can. just that's the pressure though is like. sometimes when I feel like oh you don't. look as as good as you could look like I.

always want to reach my potential right. o now that's a good point now my. potential with if enough money is 9.2. like like I just said enough s like I. can find a person to make me a 9.2 and. I'm not a 9.2 but there there is surgery. there's a right person out there that. can transform my face and my body into. exact like as high that's as high as I. could get and I'm not reaching it and so. I just go I'm failing in some way and my. friends who don't have money go I'm just. the way I am because I can't afford to. do that but I could maybe afford to do. that so I feel like I I need to do that.

you're GNA risk it yeah I mean I I do. stuff already I get like injections and. stuff here and there and I'm not like I. don't do it a lot but every couple years. I get insecure enough that I'm like. let's just see what we're going to do. and I like the risk of it it's like. getting a tattoo it's like it can be bad. a haircut like I can get it dissolved or. what I could turn it back around but it. is when women at face workk or men and. it kind of gets [ __ ] up I sometimes go. good for you you took a [ __ ] chance. that's a good point huh yeah you're a. risk taker you are the ultimate yeah. you're somebody that reached in the.

draft you are Shawn Payton of the Denver. Broncos in um in reconstructive surgery. realm yeah yeah because you definitely. see well sometimes I'll kiss a woman and. her lip tastes like a part of like it's. like a um yeah it tastes like something. you would throw to a dog to catch kind. of like it just like feels like a chew. toy so it doesn't feel like you're. kissing them anymore it feels like you. just want to oh you can feel filler for. sure I don't have it in my lips but I. got it just like recently down here. which for some reason makes this go up.

like it's all like I don't even know how. it works but I don't like all the like I. I got something here I've never gotten. it before but I can feel it like I don't. whenever I'm like you know going like. this like hm I'm like oh God cuz I don't. you feel weird pressing on it it's not a. good feeling get I get some like on the. back of my legs bottom of my butt maybe. just to make me a little taller like. when I'm in a seat or whatever I it. would that is a way to get taller yeah. sitting only yeah you're sitting down a. lot nobody thinks about that hey holy. [ __ ] of course you would sitting you're. like yeah I'm not that tall and I'm.

standing up but when I'm sitting I'm a. little taller than you'd expect I me are. you good on your posture like are you. working on that [ __ ] no dude yeah I was. working on it until I quit working on it. I mean like when you're conscious of it. when I am when I sit the way I'm. supposed to with my shoulder blades down. my neck extended and my back like this. is a good look I know this is going to. look better than what I really want to. do which is this yeah armadillo but this. feels like I'm going to meet some dude's. going to try to meet me I feel like all. the time is a. guy you're waiting for a grinder date or.

you're waiting yeah you're hoping they. pick you to go on the Mayflower or. something like it has a very uh yeah if. you're POS alert ready yes pick me yeah. yeah yeah pick me that's what it feels. like pick me yeah and but for a girl in. a way she she can sit in a way that is. just like I have confident like there's. a way to sit that's like exude sexuality. for sure well yeah oh definitely for a. woman yeah to like just like I don't. even know how to contort my body in that. way but I know that when I am trying to. look sexy my back hurts afterwards yeah.

because I've been holding this AR Arch. back it's not Health like it's not good. but some girls just walk around. naturally like that oh yeah people from. Toronto have the best Hoster I don't. know if you've been there or not have. you been there oh yes and it kind of. checks out in my memory but I oh they're. like wait why maybe they're school desks. because that's what breaks us it could. be like the uh I don't know how gravity. is up there or something but it's. definitely there's a they are. very you know they look very on purpose.

they look very on purpose okay yeah like. a lot of people like wander around like. oh look at this [ __ ] accident you. know Toronto yeah yeah dude but it's not. an intimidating on purpose like Toronto. they're like is it t I always say it. wrong Toronto not Toronto it's ton I. think you can call it whatever you want. to they're just happy you came to visit. I think they really are yeah and they. should be it's a it's a [ __ ] getting. there well and it's like a lot of people. didn't even think Canada was real for a. long time like we had to discover it. like seven times before people were like.

yes okay we'll admit it that you're. real is that the history of that I don't. really know how I mean oh 100% dude. Canada dude yeah a lot of people are. like I don't know man yeah we'll see. about it that's what you see every time. I go there don't you feel like you're. they are like Air Canada you fly there. they're mad at you when when you're. flying them I don't like the I don't I. just don't like flying Air Canada and. then when I get get there the Customs.

feel so aggressive that I'm just like. they don't like us are you happy I'm. here no they're not yeah that's real. that's the real truth I think you're. right I think and once you get in though. the people love you people are always. like why don't you come and I'm like. it's your it's your border control makes. me feel like a criminal and makes me. feel like why are you here well we kind. of have become that I mean America is a. criminal State obsessed with capitalism. that is sacrificed everything that was. good yeah to make a couple bucks so I. get why they're happiness on the. shoulder a little extra over there on.

the way in I get it they don't want that. energy they don't want that se in their. country looking to be famous and cool. like they don't have that sad desire and. I sad is you know just a word I use for. that but it's like yeah we yeah it's we. have some kind of desperation here it. feels like does that make any sense or. no totally I I I'm fighting it all the. time because I'm I I'm a part of it and. I I feed into it and it gets me but I. also am so disgusted by it when I I.

can't like go shopping because of. consumerism really stresses me out and. thinking about all of these when I go. shopping I just like look at all the. racks of clothes and I'm like this is. all going to be in a landfill this is. all going to be in the ocean like that. it it grosses me out but I'm also buying. that stuff they're just shipping it to. me so I don't have to see it in Mass. amounts and think about that but so I'm. I'm on both sides of it but yeah we've. it's it's a [ __ ] it's. interesting um well the question. everybody wants to know is how's that. vagina kind of doing huh it's pretty.

good that's what's up yeah that's what's. up it's like I it's right now it's like. a good day like you do you have like. good good and bad days down there good. wiener days kind like where you're just. like I wouldn't mind if someone saw it. like it's looking I think vaginas have. more going on that can be either just. there's more pieces to have in place. that some days you're just like this is. great and it's probably the days that. you should that you're like ovulating or. whatever oh it's that party nostril. homie that's what it is dog you know. what I'm saying the Deep the deepest.

dimple baby let's get it you know what. I'm saying it's definitely it's like the. 30th wonder of the world I guess it used. to be like the number one wonder of the. world it was like there it was like. Guantanamo Bay what's the um like um. Gary buy and then like the leaning tower. of pizza or whatever yeah and then like. but the it's definitely lost I think so. it kind of went down with crypto I feel. like the vagina did some it does feel. like people aren't as interested in. hearing about it and talking about like. getting it moved to ass is is that what.

people are interested in or is it just. like or that ass [ __ ] that's what a lot. of gay dudes would be like let me get. that ass [ __ ] I like that why not I. don't like it I don't like hearing it at. the mall or whatever when. I'm at an arop PTI or that popcorn shop. that they have always that's when the. malls going out of business if you have. more than one popcorn shop and you're. not in Minesota your. mall is G Dave.

but yeah that's what a lot of gay dudes. are hunting for that ass [ __ ] yeah yeah. yeah yeah well that's all they got yeah. but there's a lot of like like because. gay dudes would be like um uh God made. me gay right or whatever I'm not gay by. choice but the second they buy you one. drink they're trying to get you to. choose to be gay it's like that's. interesting bro this is crazy yeah like. well because they see how you can make. that they they probably are buying into. this fluid thing of like they probably.

as in high school hooked up with girls. and were like I know how to hook up with. someone I'm not attracted to and. convince myself to be into it you do. that now with me you know because they. have to do that like you know espec not. maybe kids now but in some states yes. but like when I was growing up there. weren't out there weren't kids in my. graduating class that were gay no one. was gay yeah everybody called everybody. gay but nobody was definitely no was out. but we knew who was but they had to hook. up with I mean into their 20s and 30s. sometimes they're hooking up with girls. can you imagine having to hook up with.

someone you're just so not into I mean. yes I can I've done it before but it's. alcohol would probably make it so I. could do it yeah or marriage I think a. lot of people get married or whatever. and then they're like damn this dude's. gay or whatever you know and then. they're stuck with a gay husband but I. think a lot of women because of things. like. um Watch What Happens Live they love. having a gay H it's almost cool than. having a straight husband and whatever.

he's doing they'd rather have this crazy. gay husband and then they just write. crazy boy on their butt or whatever. before sex or whatever I don't know no I. don't think they they ever I think they. just you think they they they know he's. gay and they just have a tcid agreement. that we're going to do kind of going to. indulge in some of these things but. never call it out that you're gay like I. feel like a good question you're right. about like having a being married to a. gay man would be fun because there's a. feminine energy to him that would be. like almost like having a girlfriend. Pomeranian you can have if you're a.

woman is a gay. husband yeah. yes but at least your Pomeranian could. go down on you and enjoy it true that's. true you know and have a good time yeah. that is the irony of putting peanut. butter on your genitals or whatever like. and having a dog Li it off it's. disgusting and absolutely illegal and. should be but the dog would like it no. like it there's they already like. crotches and then plus peanut butter it. would I mean it's there's no denying. that that party would enjoy it and.

wouldn't be like I don't want to do this. I mean unless they were being forced but. if it's on their own licking yeah it's. sure we're really not helping each other. get what we. want with these beastiality laws we have. yeah it's just like no I know as soon as. animals can vote dude we're going to. learn a lot or the soon as they can do. the alphabet or whatever they just had a. dog or whatever that can uh open with. her tongue uh no he can open up a pack. of cigarettes though can you look that. up. I want to say it was an Australian.

Shepherd that sounds right you need to. take him to a vet ASAP. well he's opening up a pack of. cigarettes that's crazy then hold on. here's crazy this is this this is how. insane America is it says if your dog. ate a cigarette you need to take him to. the vet AAP however Americans can smoke. them as much as we. want actually it says if for if your dog. opened up a pack of cigarettes you need. to take him to the vet ASAP to and the. filter from cigarettes can be toxic.

however yeah it doesn't say this part. but it lowkey does if you are human feel. free to smoke your [ __ ] life away I. mean and get cancer no one it's it's. crazy that people still smoke I mean I. Vape sometime like yeah I Vape sometimes. VAP bad but what the [ __ ] like we know. it's bad but it's. yo yeah I guess it's like I don't know. if it's not ruining my life yet I can't. yeah let me do. it yeah there's always going to be.

something I think and we're imperfect. creatures it's so hard to not have. anything yeah it is um but yeah how's. that vagana doing girl huh I think it's. pretty good I really haven't checked in. on I haven't like done anything with it. in so long I've just been wiping it. after I pee that's like my and washing. it in the shower I haven't um I haven't. like had sex or had an orgasm in a. really long time really yeah I no yeah. that's why I was like when you asked. that I was really like how is it because. I I haven't done anything with it I've.

just been too busy oh yeah yeah if you. got busy Cooter going on it. is so it's good I think it's really good. right now because it's been not like. neglected in that way like you feel like. you get things back and you're like oh. you build up some Chi yeah really. probably and I do Pilates and I'm doing. a lot of like pelvic floor work so I'm. it's probably pretty good I love that. thank you I love that for everybody and. um and also yeah I no my back [ __ ] my. butt [ __ ] though I don't about that.

dude I want to talk about that we can't. talk about that here this is a Christian. show um what about like CU I do notice. so say I'm a man right and so if I. masturbate like the next day I do feel a. little bit like weaker or a little bit. less organized huh you know I feel. sometimes as I'll be a little like I'm. not. 100% yeah I I've heard that I haven't I. don't do it enough to like track it I do. know that I can get like compulsive.

about masturbating if I'm like if I'm in. a compulsive mood and I'm like I'll. smoke weed okay I got high and that was. good for five minutes I'll pick up the. guitar oh I played one song okay now I. got I'll eat a bunch of food and then. I'll do that and I'm like I need more. dopamine okay I'll masturbate after that. I'm like um okay I'll go smoke weed. again and then I go get back to. masturbation not time yet not ready to. go I'll eat more like I just ju that's. when I sounds like a new diet I feel. like for like a Nashville. diet that's what I feel like that sounds. like dude it's horrible I hate when I.

get into those spirals of just like just. chasing it until you fall asleep oh yeah. yeah you're just like waiting for sleep. to come but yeah that's when I can be. too much about it and that's and that's. when I can track like oh yeah my mood. it's just I'm trying to get dopamine up. but I don't really feel like a dullness. afterwards or I don't feel like I'm. harnessing anything by not coming or. something I haven't I I'm sure there's. some truth to that but I haven't felt it. do you does a woman feel less in less. complete the day after an orgasm or like.

something like that like possibly but I. wouldn't know I'm I I'm not like someone. who's like I I I haven't tracted I. haven't like what really you just. haven't noticed in your life no I can be. really constipated and not know it I can. be like why do I feel sick and none of. my clothes fit and then I'll like and. then I'll go to the bathroom I'll be. like yeah oh my God I haven't pooped for. like a week I just don't notice my I'm. not in tune with my body wow so I don't. like my when my friends are like I feel. Sicky I think it's that thing I ate I. would never be able to trace things I'm. not paying attention to what makes me.

feel good I'm trying to do that more now. and do like somatic therapy and like you. seem really angry where's that coming. from and I I literally never have any. answer from my therapist about like I. don't feel things on my body like numb. and I it would seem to be that I was. molested or something but I can't. remember anything like that happening. either so it's kind of a disassociation. yeah exactly if it happened I'm glad I. didn't remember it but something keeps. me from being in tune molested or. forgetful that could be a new uh that. could be like a uh that's insane and. that's unfortunate to say dude no but.

there you know it's it's not nobody. don't justify that I shouldn't say. justify what of you could say that. because people are molested or uh but if. you were molested and you forgot your. molestation you still Trauma from it. because things happened to us as a baby. that we don't understand that we carry. on to but what what a gift it would be. to not remember it and just have it be. then you just keep blaming your parents. forever not knowing that it was some. kind of babysitter you had or something. that really did it and they used to um. oh going to talk about labotomy but yeah.

can you believe that they did labotomy. yeah I can it's really unbelievable. bring up some of the labotomy um. information please a lobotomy is a type. of brain surgery that involves severing. the connection between the frontal lobe. and the other parts of the brain yeah. and labotomy became popular in the 1930s. as a treatment for certain mental health. conditions there are times when I feel. so mentally unwell that I would be like. if it went on long if it went on a. really long time me feeling that bad I'd. be like please please take it out yeah.

please cut the the the connection that. is making this happen like you would. want just an out like I still want it. would be like a suicide without having. to die yeah oh wow but then you're still. just Milling around like God people like. I would know huh I would know and it's. not you're just bothering people though. taking up traffic you're just walking up. people ask you're just like a Eternal. trick-or treat or you're just bothering. people God yeah I guess I would never do. a voluntary one but if someone was like. she must be I'd be like okay you know. like kind of like it's not my fault that.

I'm going to be that yeah they did this. to me but yeah there's times where it's. like I can see why they would want to. clip that chord in addition to people. who meet current definitions for mental. illness practitioners also perform. lobotomies on people with intellectual. disabilities who were gay wow who were. in prisoned for crimes which some blamed. on criminal. Insanity oh a 2018 study also states. that most lobotomized people were women. yeah so it's just like bad PMS they're. like clipper yeah like hey.

look what and what about who's the group. that came over to decide that must have. been a crazy dinner. huh because the woman had to cook it and. also and also sit there and defend. herself oh my God I hope they let her. clean up before they took her away cuz. who's going to do. that oh my God often the reasons doctors. gave for this was they needed to. maintain order in the hospital you're. right other reasons include a lack of. interest in child care and strange. Behavior what does that mean what do you. mean a lack of interest in other reasons.

a lack of Interest oh um I guess they. did it to women who uh probably had. postpartum and were just like I don't. really want this baby wow which most. women were just getting raped by their. husbands back then and making to have a. baby every [ __ ] chance that they. could why would you want that kid well. we wouldn't have Mad Men first of all if. some of that didn't. happen John Ham wouldn't have a career. if that didn't happen so the fact that. he does I wouldn't be here if that. didn't happen to my grandma Yeah Yeah. but the fact that he doesn't donate a. million dollars a year here okay to.

secretaries of America with. children is. [Music]. [Music]. right they reduceed the functionality of.

frontal lob resulting in okay go on yeah. so uh lack of initiative so no one lack. of restraint okay so lack of restraint. is not a good thing that's probably a. thing that they go well we don't like. that like we want to control them. Euphoria you so they reduce the. functionality oh okay so they reduce the. functionality of the Euphoria so they. get Euphoria and it resulted in yeah. Euphoria feeling of intense happiness. that sounds good significant changes in. personality okay cuz I think a lot of. those things are things that come from. um. the back of your head it's like from.

your like limic system I based on those. symptoms I'm pretty sure I've had a. little. bottomy it's like check check check. check god dude that's interesting yeah. um i' I'd be I'd do it back in the day I. would have been up for it if you could. come back again if you get to run it. back right yeah Whitney Glazer sorry. Nikki Glazer you [ __ ] did that on. purpose I did not do that on purpose you. did I would never do that on purpose. really that's funny my brain is so bad I. love that I love uh being you know.

misgendered or whatever Whitney or being. thought well she's the same gender as me. I was thinking you're talking you're. thinking Whitney Cummings oh dang I. wonder if my brain was think of that or. who what kind of when you think Whitney. who do you think definitely not Houston. you're I think houst tit that's what I. to be honest with you no offense very. funny Whitney has some [ __ ] bangers. on I've seen them have you seen them. like some pool toys dud yeah and they're. nice the Lifeguard can take the day oh. you feel.

me she's got those Unsinkable batt on. dut yeah she's got those UB boats dude. if I were that baby I would never grow. past two. months those are insane you're right and. they're probably even there they get so. good when women are pregnant are do they. oh my God my friends who have like tiny. tits are just like giant firm full nice. like color of nipples like they get a. little darker like it's just they're TI. amazing God that's the one thing that.

they yeah wish to keep that's what I. need that freaking that birthing tit. yeah um God it's just something. everybody wants yes just to see those. things and before the baby gets to them. um I don't know if it's what everybody. wants but yeah I enjoy a pair of like. Whitney you just can't deny they're. amazing and when I saw them I was like I. I want to like I want to feel what. that's like yeah I don't know if I felt. them though I wna know what love is you.

remember that song oh yeah I want you to. know me yeah something I think you had. it right yeah um yeah if you got if you. got to be reincarnated based on a lot of. what you've done so you've been a. women's lib activist right shut up well. you have whatever a women's lib activist. I'm just a woman or whatever it's called. you mean being a woman and just wanting. like speak speaking freely as one I. don't know that I'm what what do you. what do you what comes to mind when you. think of me like that no I think you. haven't been like a like um like a you.

know. like like yeah like you know you know. you know charm my vul or whatever some. of those women are doing for Africa or. whatever but I think yeah you're like a. you're like a proud female yeah yeah. yeah yeah definitely so girl up uh. someone who speaks up for women yeah I I. mean yeah I think so so maybe yeah that. might have been the best term I didn't. mean it like you uh I didn't mean like a. negative thing no I'm not like a man ha.

I hope people don't personify me as like. a. man-hating feminist I I actually like. like men a lot and I empathize even the. things that I'm like why do men not have. to do this and we have to do this and. I'm like mad about the disparity it's. like I'm not mad at men about it it's. just the gender roles it's not like your. fault that like men's fault that this is. the way it is or there are many ways in. which women are shittier or have it uh. better than men do and it's like not our. we don't need to be villainized for it.

it's just kind of the roles we fall into. I think there's a def there's a ton of. Truth to that what was I just reading. the other day was about something that. women they they were they don't want to. do it oh this was about Bumble did you. see it oh yeah they just changed the. setting so men cannot reach out to women. because it used to be just women only. reaching out to men women had to ask. first and I believe women are like you. know what we don't want to do that it. doesn't it's not sexy I would say most. men are not really Bumble really does us. a favor by having this feature because. women need to learn that if you want to.

attract a man who's a masculine energy. man you got to let him be the one to. lead and men don't really like women. taking the lead feminine energy men do. and it does it doesn't mean gay men but. like there's less there's like 20% of. men are feminine straight men are. feminine energy and that's just and then. there's 20% of women that are masculine. energy women which sometimes I am like. on stage I'm a masculine energy woman. like anyone who's horny for what I do on. stage is a feminine energy guy probably. that like is attra like once a partner.

like the person I am on stage and so a. lot of times the guys that are throwing. themselves at me after shows are not my. vibe because offstage I'm like a. feminine energy woman and I'm like I. want someone like that like I I want to. be the girl but then people don't think. of me that way because of on stage you. kind of naturally have to be masculine. it's like you're talking to a microphone. and like having opinions like that's. kind of a turnoff to men that's. interesting I don't think of you as that. way I think probably like Eliza maybe I. think more of his that way cuz she's. definely Spectrum um uh you know her.

pacing and energy you know probably add. to that uh I wonder who else is that I. think I like but just the nature of a. woman going like this is what I think. and everyone needs to listen even if I'm. like this is what I think and everyone. needs to listen and I have my tits out. it's still like you're talking to a. microphone to a bunch of people who have. to be quiet especially men have to be. quiet it's like it's a masculine energy. thing yeah it's okay that men are like I. don't really like Fem Comics like I get. it it like it's like it makes sense to.

me when guys are kind of like that's not. my thing it's like a woman like yelling. at you if you grw up talk about it. before Mother yeah it's like get it was. hard for me for years I think sometimes. to listen cuz it was just like it I. didn't even know that it reminded me of. my mother but it like she it was always. something but yeah it totally makes. sense I think some of that went away. after a while but yeah Bumble said now. yeah Bumble said that they're. not uh for women who date men making the. first move on a dating app can be. empowering but having to do it can be a.

burden now they don't have to at least. on Bumble the dating app that build its. brain on letting women message first. women can now add prompts to their. profiles for men to respond to good like. little flirting cues huh love it just. any chance for a guy to like reach out. and let you know he's into you without. really giving away too much it's so. embarrassing like even for me if I like. someone and like want to let them know. like I won't I won't let them know until. I'm 100% sure they're into me like 100%. sure I know want to I don't want that.

rejection and I'm sure men feel that way. all the time well yeah and there's no. sure bets you know it's like everything. I think it this is one thing that's a. lot in our society these days everybody. wants a sure bet right yes they want the. a lot of messages to make sure that. everything is okay that there's like. you're there everything have has to be a. home run yeah nobody wants to nobody. wants to kind of make that move and be. at risk I mean they're even setting it. up like that here now like but now it's. like a little thing like it's like this. is the equivalent of like the long like.

a long look in a across a room at a bar. like I've learned I feel like sometimes. autistic when I have to learn how to. like flirt like the idea of like if you. like a guy you're supposed to like hold. eye contact for like 4 seconds which is. a really long time but it's just a way. to let a guy know tacitly without being. aggressive that like I'm into you then. he can then then he gets it like there's. no way that girl's not into me she just. looked at me that long but it wasn't. like a masculine energy look it was like. I'm like it wasn't like come here boy it. wasn't even like this it was just like. and then that gives a guy enough. confidence like okay she's probably into.

me now I can approach this is that it. gives them a chance to like not risk. anything I always feel like if a girl. looks at me like that it's like she. wants to probably oh this chick wants to. borrow some cash I feel like well that. too you know I got to get out this bar. well yeah I me like well you're a. celebrity now so that's different like. women are going to look at you longingly. all of the time like they're true it's. true when I started podcasting uh having. an online store was the furthest thing. from my mind we started just selling a.

shirt and and then people wanted another. shirt and we said well dang we'll give. you another shirt and before you know it. I'm selling hoodies and shirts and long. sley and all types of uh herdashery to. folks and it's easy it's been so easy. actually because I use. Shopify Shopify is the global Commerce. platform that helps you sell at every. stage of your business that's the best. thing about it can evolve as you grow or.

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not made dating people any easier for no. I that doesn't change things so you want. to meet somebody right and so then you. meet up you go on a date or something. you're always afraid that uh they're. going to videotape you or try and like. take advantage of you like I'll be. eating breakfast and I'll see videos. later online where people have like. videoed me I see you all the time where. people feel very nervous you know it. should and and it makes you not trust. people and it makes you question yeah I. I can only imagine I'm glad that I.

haven't reached that level yet where I. feel like what are you talking about. dude every time there's always somebody. every time I scroll through Tik Tok. you're yelling about your [ __ ] or. something that's probably true but the. algorithm has found you I'm not like. right now I'm going through having like. a moment where I'm being more. recognizable but um prior to this week I. I don't think it was at a level of what. you deal with where people are filming. you and stuff that's got to feel weird. yeah well I think here's the thing I. didn't realize is I I I I I'll sometimes. entertain it's like then I feel like I.

have to entertain cuz you want to be. like hey [ __ ] yeah they're. filing cuz then you're like a bad guy. like look at this guy's a bad guy huh. this guy one video of you being a dick. yeah this guy's on pills or whatever and. people like knew he was back on the dust. or whatever you're like what the [ __ ]. huh do you read that [ __ ] I don't read. all of it but I definitely see stuff you. can't miss it of course yeah and then. and it doesn't even matter if you don't. read it you're like you then you just. your mind wonders to what they could be. saying and it's usually worse than what. they even are it's like yeah that's got. to feel shitty I've seen yeah some.

people like bombard you before and. you're always funny and you're always. nice um yeah but but also you are. someone that people just feel so close. to and feel so connected to and feel. like you're looking out for them and. that you care about them that people are. just but also you're someone who's even. if they film you in your natural habitat. and you don't know you're being filmed I. I trust you to be someone you're just. not someone that's going to be like so. different than you are here yeah yeah. it's like I'm going to be buying a slave. or something doing something you know or. you know burying somebody um but yeah I.

think I think it's and I'm not. complaining I love getting to meet. people I think that it has been. interesting those times when it gets to. levels of wait you really do some people. do have to buy slaves there's a slave. there's a human slave trade I mean you. see it in bathrooms like if you see a. slave like TR white think you know there. there is yeah I mean they're everywhere. but literally people have to meet up to. exchange money to buy people all the. time that's crazy and imagine you have.

to imagine getting all that cash out of. an ATM dude you have must have to how. much how much is a I don't even know if. we can look this up how much is a person. on the internet this is horrible we we. honestly this because I have no idea I. would guess you could buy a. person um how much is for $20,000. $10,000 probably in some markets it's so. sad average cost right here of Russian. mail order brides which I'm. the [ __ ] out this is way different where.

you would is it huh I want to just. denote that we're not talking about the. same we haven't we're not saying hey a. Russian mail order bride is somebody. that um enjoyed farming in the past or. whatever this is average cost of russan. Miller bride $2500 to $4,500 wow yeah I. thought it would I'm agent out of. Russian bride this month [ __ ] I hate. this this has bums me out so much when I. age out of slave like being a a. trafficked I'm out no one wants to.

traffic me that could be your next. special untra please it's so good cuz. that is the exact age I'm at where it's. like you just I'm not worried about it I. know young girls that like do worry. about it yeah getting getting stolen. yeah well let me tell you this ladies if. you're at the gas station some guy's. like hey will you help me look for. something in the trunk of my car and you. get in there. dude you shouldn't get in there you know. what I'm saying. so it's.

like you're so [ __ ] funny some of its. basic rules of absolutely of uh. companionship yeah um you know what I. was gonna I was going to say something. that was interesting oh Russian bride. sorry you know the percentage of people. that had slaves what percentage of. people own slaves in. America uh I'm going to say like back. yeah 1973 or what what are you talking. like 18 like at the peak of slaves 1820.

um I would I would. say honestly just the wealthy I would. say 50% because it was probably there. was more wealth back then I would say 5%. or less oh yeah. okay. 25% only 25% own slaves but slavery. factored heavily in the economy of all. the colonies. wow wow but we also don't know if this. is a. yeah we don't know what this is. referencing exactly this feels like a.

thing a statistic that should be readily. available Li oh he posted one Li. circulating only 1% of white Southerners. own slaves but the 1% of white Southern. families owned 200 or more human beings. but in states of the Confederacy at. least 20% owned at least one and in. Mississippi and South Carolina ran as. high as 50% wow you're right. Jesus man yeah it it I mean we all like. wear things and use things that are made. by slaves like we all participate in it.

I'm this skirt was made by a slate. someone who is not getting paid a lot. and working back breaking hours in some. country like it's just the the way that. it is we're so [ __ ]. lucky are we I mean we are to not be. doing that we're the the luckiest people. that have maybe ever lived in the. history of humankind we're in the. top 1% of luckiness for sure but I just. mean as a overall Society are we that's. that's where I was going I still don't. feel like oh just because some woman my.

age is uh a slave over there that like I. can't complain about my life I don't. feel that because I feel like you know. there's problems with my life too that. are just you know be complain about if. she were in my shoes it's all relative. yeah she made. [Laughter]. yeah don't you dare try them on she. already walked a mile in him dude to. break them in to like give him that worn. look that you pay extra for oh.

damn I'd walk a mile in hers but I don't. want to wear you know I'm going to stop. you it's sad oh it's sad you got to. laugh about it because you have to laugh. about it the other day I'm not making. excuses for being like I'm making an. appropriate joke laughing at slaves. literally what the [ __ ] am I supposed to. do otherwise at least I'm talking about. it yeah like it's at least it's. something if I feel oh yeah the other. day I was with some black guys this. other black guy came up and they said. damn Larry like a slave and I was like. and everybody laughed you know I wrote a.

joke for the the roast that was. about Andrew Schultz that was like you. what's this look you've got going you. look like a plantation owner that wants. his slaves to think he's cool yeah which. is like a great joke but the word slave. like just turns people off and it was. too high risk to like drop that word and. I at first I was seeing a slave owner. that want to slaves to think he's cool. but then I did it and finesse Mitchell a. black man saw me do it at the Laugh.

Factory and he suggested make it. Plantation owner just to like take some. of because yeah the black community I. guess does not even like the mention of. that word which is something I didn't of. course of course they don't but I wasn't. even like thinking that yeah that could. be offensive or just like just not a. cool thing to just say liberally like. that yeah but I wouldn't have thought. about that I don't know maybe that's. really me being so naive and just a dumb. white [ __ ] but I didn't know that but. now I do yeah well that's not that's not. the perfect picture for that what I was. just saying but that's you get it yeah.

let's talk about the rose. congratulations thanks first of all you. so funny thanks and not that you weren't. going to be but I think it's a tough. environment to do it in um I had one. experience with a roast right nothing in. comparison to yours but I I realized. something about it it was it was. probably like eight years ago or 12. years ago or something it was like who. was on it it was like. um I think like it was like a lot of. like Bist or D list celebrities type of.

it was like Tila Tequila it was like was. it for Network Germaine Dupri I think. maybe was on it I don't know who else. was on it um was this a VH1 MTV Comedy. Central what what's the B no oh no it. was just a fundraiser somewhere oh okay. this is a fundraiser so not like films. never going to exist anywhere but still. still right and it was like and like uh. oh that lady Octor mom or whatever that. had all children whatever yeah yeah yeah. she had like 30 children or something oh. my God this is a great roast fod you.

think it's funny and easy it's going to. be cool but then you get up there and. the people are right there yeah and. you're like oh my God this is going to. hurt some people's feelings and I have. to say this stuff yes so that was when I. realized how how tough what a tough. moment it is um do you feel that when. you're doing it I I I thought no I don't. actually I the only time I if you sign. up for a roast like I understand maybe. the first roast that ever happened and I.

would feel bad cuz like what is this and. I wrote all these jokes but like go. watch roast compilations that's what's. coming at you if you agreed to do this. you are opening yourself up to that but. what if you sign up for a cont say you. sign up for something where somebody's. going to call you a f a g g o t right. you sign up for it somebody's like. that's the thing you want to sign up. you're like yeah I'll sign up for it. dude and it seems chill you're whatever. you're backstage prac that sounds like a. good time yeah you're backstage. practicing or whatever like how you're. going to react when they call you yeah. but then you go out it's literally Tom. Brady in the bowels of the Kia Forum the.

other night is practicing what to look. like when they call him that word. probably yes that's what I heard is that. you know he was nervous beforeand he's. probably more worried about his own set. than thinking about the reactions but I. think that's a part of being on a roast. where you have to like think about what. you're going to do when they make fun of. you yeah yeah I can't hide my feelings I. think it would be tough yeah it is tough. that's why I was so glad that I would. like next time they'll come at me hard. because I'll be known but this time no. one knows me so no one came at at me I. mean there were a couple jokes but. nothing but that consistent every.

person's going to hit you I would hate. that I'm going to hate that and it will. be it I'll be older my face will have. more things in it that will make it look. weird for people to make fun like you. know like there'll be there'll be more. fodder and it will hurt a lot a lot so. you agree though that there's some pain. there oh so much pain but I did like you. like I said I before when I've been. doing roast I never thought about. people's feelings and I think the last. roast I did was five years ago and in. that time I think I've worked on myself. enough to have empathy and like not want. to hurt people and so this time I was.

really worried about it and like I'm not. saying this joke about Jeff Ross it's. too mean and I don't even believe it I. don't want to say this joke about Bert. Cher only having one joke I don't even. feel that way but it's like my friends. kept reminding me it's a rose this is. what it is and they signed up for it. don't pull back it's just it's this. right so I just but I fought it a lot. there were some jokes I didn't do just. be and wouldn't even say here because I. was just like they came from such a mean. place and I could never ever say that to. someone's face but two 5 years ago I. definitely would have done that joke. really so you think you were toned down.

this time yeah I mean but for the right. in the right way like I think it. resonated because I hit the exact right. tone like you do you do that slave joke. and I could have lost people because. they're just like why did she say slave. like right it the the set was built. perfectly anymore yeah I know it was B. built perfectly so that it was uh didn't. off it but I didn't I didn't pull back I. found ways to like go just as hard in. the way that I wanted to I think oh yeah. I thought it was really masterful I um. thanks man yeah it was really really. cool and then yeah you just see you.

everywhere and everybody's like she. killed it this [ __ ] is it she's the. [ __ ] honky cardi B people are saying. all kind hav't read that yet but that's. cool yeah it's cool that it's like what. I found is the new Betsy Ross somebody. wrote Somewhere oh I don't even wait. like Betsy like like 1800s Betsy Ross. yeah the lady that made the Freaking. Flag oh my god let's get up yeah thank. you that is that feels really good [ __ ].

too dude 17 1700s Betsy Ross my bad my. buddy said his great-grandfather knew. her and she was a chatty bee dude oh. yeah look at her and she lived forever. and people were like will this chatty be. just die she made one cool she would. have had a podcast oh a hit podcast. that's true huh call her Betty yeah call. her Betty she would have had it man. but they like she probably said five. sentences a day and they're like she was.

chatty you know like she probably was. just like can I get some water and you. know Rick's wife made that flag and. she's been real chatty since then she. looks so quiet thankfully my wife's. missing it was different times back then. dude but I you could just kill your wife. well hold on you cannot and do not say. that do not get that out there no like. you not now. please don't you're going to get caught. but back then like you could do anything.

it was so like that's I've been talking. a lot about like on stage about the. desire to have kids or not have kids and. how I think that a lot of the feeling. that when women tell me like you got to. do it you know and I know they're just. trying to get other women like when. you're not having a good time you're. like other people will you do this too. there's a part of it and it's very. rewarding in its own way but I think a. lot of it they they actually do believe. it's so rewarding but you I think at. some point you have to convince yourself. that it is because you have no other.

option you have to like it you can't let. in that this is a regret because you. can't take it back you can let in that. you regret marrying your husband because. there's an out or oh I bought this house. or even this tattoo I got you can let in. a little regret when you're like oh I I. can get it removed kid kid you just have. to you have to convince yourself you. like it and I think you do actually end. up liking it because of that but I think. it's because there's no out what do you. think well that it's almost like going. to prison in a way kind of but you yeah.

because because you can't be the guy in. prison it's every day like man prison. sucks you're so right and people like. dude shut the [ __ ] up I have to be in. here for 21 and a half more years yes. but if you have a life. sentence like it would just you would. just it would be your life I think I. could probably accept it if there was. just no getting out I'd like a life. sentence better than I would like you. get out in 40 years oh when you think. it's your choice and you could appeal. and like they're yes chicks either if. you hit them up when you get out bro. it's a wrap dude they're going to be.

like 40 years oh yeah well hopefully you. have a pen pal that you've been lubing. up at you like and then there's someone. waiting for you because but as soon as. you're available they don't want to like. as as a woman who's attracted to. unavailable men as soon as a guy would. get out of prison I'd be like I just. think we should be friends like I would. you know all that stuff I said I was. going to do with you can't I'm just not. into it anymore because now you're free. but I there's a part of me that. understands when women like are. attracted to guys that have life. sentences they can never be with them. wow fear of intimacy that guy will never.

get to know me never touch me and I can. just dream about it and I can tell. everybody about it it's a great story. yes I'm the hero yeah yeah or I'm the. psycho who likes this guy who murdered. his wife and has convinced myself that. he wouldn't do that to me if he had a. chance yeah yeah I'm or that I want that. kind of or I want to be the one that's. like he wouldn't murder me they murdered. everyone else like I remember hearing. about this like yeah there's no Way's. going murder me dude oh Ben a what was. what was he like I'm always a fascin I'm. such a fan you didn't no he just we.

didn't meet even Brady before the show. began we were just like got miked got. sat and then all of a sudden the show. starts is that one of the reasons they. do what you think so there's no no. because then I guess maybe there's a. different production company this time. different network it used to be Comedy. Central we would all hang out a little. bit before like five minutes before You'. shake their hand like the guy you're. about to roast but there was none of. that this time and then Affleck I think. just wanted in and out cuz he didn't. want anyone to even know he was there to. be roasted and I think he was supposed. to stay on stage after he got done but. he [ __ ] it he booked it out of there.

because Tom referenced him in his set at. some point and and it was written in the. prompter as if Ben would still be there. and he was gone so I think either he got. out because it didn't go the way he. wanted it to or he got out because he's. like [ __ ] I didn't realize it was going. to be this kind of thing I'm I'm not. going to sit there and get jokes told. about me damn so but yeah it was uh that. was it was weird so he was just in and. out in and out yeah um and yeah what was. it like when he was up there what's it. like. when somebody's up there and they are. trying something right and it's maybe.

not being perceived or going over as. well right we all do that it's like yeah. trying a new joke it's a brave way to do. it it just sucks for him that in the. reason his set went poorly um is because. he committed to a joke that is the whole. like if the joke doesn't work the whole. set's gone because the whole set was. this one premise of I'm reading a tweet. and I'm talking back to this guy oh so. if it the first joke bombs the whole. that's what's based he didn't switch to. another joke like for me one my joke. bombs I can get it back in the next one. totally different reset but his was all.

about this one thing so much risk it was. it was it was not a good something. either he didn't prepare well enough or. something happened but it was just but. it could have happened to anyone it's. just yeah it happened to him and it. sucked he's always been a risk taker. though I feel like yeah and he doesn't. give a [ __ ] like no one's even talking. about whatever that was like it'll be. forgotten he'll be fine and he is a RIS. taker I like that he even did it um and. he had a point of view you you can tell. it like he the whole premise of it was. like I I Tom handed me my his phone one.

day and I saw his messages and I. couldn't even fathom what the hate he. was getting so he started talking to. that one of those people that was. tweeting at him and you could tell he. was just really that was his Vendetta he. wanted to say something to the fans. because he's been attacked so much so it. was a good like he wanted to get. something out that was inside of him it. just didn't come out the right way but. it was a good premise I think that was. personal for him and obviously to Tom of. getting so much hate like yeah it's. something but it doesn't resonate with. other people because we don't most.

people aren't getting hate online and. are just like I don't care like writing. the hate exactly like Mo we as comedians. are always talking about do you read the. hate and stuff people can't relate to. that people aren't getting this kind of. there are like you know there's a lot of. influences out there but it's not a. relatable thing yeah um I guess if you. have like 400 followers and that would. be a lot for just a normal person if you. know that many people that are following. you if you get like 14 likes on. something that's good like are you. getting sad if you get seven and like.

what it's probably just all the same. yeah you don't you're not like as. obsessed with that stuff some people. don't even have that [ __ ] to grade. themselves yeah I'll get some things. that'll be like bet your son will be a. [ __ ] or whatever you know and then it'll. be like go Raiders or whatever or go or. go Jets it's all over the place and. you're like what is this about is this a. a a DraftKings advertisement what is. this so that's the craziest thing dude. spring has sprung baby we're spraying. it's it's we're it's spraying you know.

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help.com. EO um was it better having the Comedy. Central run the roast or was it better. with Netflix it was different I think. because this was live I was just like. why are they going to do like why are. they because it was an event that's why. everyone watched it if this would have. been just like something that aired. later on I don't think it would have. been this good because there were just. it was like everyone was like what the. [ __ ] this is live live it was really. crazy and that's why um in past roast.

I've done really I've done this well. before in past rast I feel but when it. after it's edited everyone looks like. they did that good because of the magic. of editing so I've never had like this. kind of Splash not not that I've been. like why didn't more people say I was. good it just I never even thought to. think that but I was like I didn't this. to me was like a same that I've done on. everyone but it was just like it wasn't. I just did a set that wasn't edited that. looked edited because I knew it wouldn't. be edit so I didn't have the benefit of. I'll tell that joke and they'll just cut. it if it doesn't go well so I just had.

to make it like perfect for you dude. thanks man way to think something. through sometimes it's so hard to figure. out all those little angles piece them. all together it's really tough It's you. know and I got so much advice from my. friends who work in production and who. work in live production um uh my friends. who were just good writers good roast. writers like I just got like a lot of. advice of like how to frame it and um. tell a story and uh cuz you could just. get up there and just tell the best. jokes and like pick the best ones and. that will be a great set but there's. other elements to it too that make it. fun and um and can make it just more.

palatable I guess yeah I think your. level of confidence to having had done. it a lot I think definitely helps also. Comedy Central was horribly late to the. social media game can you believe comedy. Central's still on on I think they have. one one show they have two shows three. original shows right now I think they. have South Park. Aquafina and one other animation show. that's that's all their original. programming wow it like like how. different is that than even 10 years. like it's insane but you had comedy.

you're the one thing that had comedy a. title but we've talked about that a lot. on here they kind of dropped the wall. but the biggest thing that they did was. they went late to social media they went. really late to it they went late to. internet they just were late to that. whole game yes um you know they and. Daily Show sorry they have Daily Show oh. sorry they have uh yes that's it Daily. Show aquaa Digman and South Park that's. it that's nuts they used to have so much. yeah well times have just changed too I. mean people aren't really watch but uh. but they were late and I think that. didn't help as well so as if roaster did.

great for people to see it as easily. yeah it was like I blew up from the. roast because of clips that when Tik Tok. came around like that's when people. noticed me from the the original roast. and Netflix makes good Clips I mean. their Clips just look glossier it's just. you know even as compared to stuff you. see on for some reason they um they just. do it they do a better job of it and. then Tom Brady is so high-profile you. just don't realize it yeah I I didn't. even want to do a roast again like I I. don't know the idea of roasting like the. Jonas Brothers not that they even asked.

me to do that roast but when that was I. was like oh that's the level where they. already did that one yeah which was fun. and I probably would entertain it but it. was like you it's I I just didn't want. to put myself up to be made fun of like. it's just not worth it to me if it's not. a big deal and Tom Brady I'm like this. is a big deal so I I wrote uh I think. Robbie praw the guy at Netflix who books. everyone and um I I I think I wrote to. him and or he wrote to me about. something else and I go I I saw this Tom. Brady roast this is like six months ago.

and I was like I want that and he was. like I'm actually meeting with Tom. pretty soon I was like tell Tom I'm the. Tom Brady of roasting and that it's it's. not going to be a Tom Brady roast. without the best roaster there is right. now and I did I believe that at the time. no like but I know I what I meant was. I'll work the hardest yeah like I I. might be a six round draft pick but I'll. [ __ ] I'll I'll prove to Everyone by. working hard I won't I will not take. this lightly this is a big opport like. and so I don't even know if he.

communicated that to him but I did I. remember like I never talk myself up in. that way like I'm really not very good. at being like I can do this but I really. did feel like I could and so I thought. oh if I can appeal to Tom's sense of. like I have work ethic like you do and I. won't phone this in this is you're a big. deal I'm like get me and so when I got. it I was like you this is the you have. to give it everything right if you ask. for the ball you have to [ __ ] you. have to. yes so I the amount of I worked on that. I don't love working that hard but you.

just have to ask for help you just have. to have ask for help in terms of like. stopping other things and having people. protect you from getting overworked and. were you wearing panties up there or not. to be honest oh yeah totally absolutely. I was wearing I was actually yeah did. you think about what panties you wear. because Tom Brady's going to be there do. you is that like a is that a perverted. thing to ask no not at all actually I. think um no it really um I think yeah. you kind of do think you know what if. there's no chance I'm having sex I. really don't give a [ __ ] you know and.

like no one's going to see I don't care. so I don't think I think I wanted them. to be black in case they something. happened and they show but like there. was no chance of them showing my skirt. wasn't as short as it may have looked if. your vagina hair gets real long do women. comb it or whatever I don't know I mine. never gets like that long enough to. think about you probably try to tuck it. up I would think um in into the. underwear but no I but yeah I definitely. would I if I if I was like out and I was.

like I'm going to have sex and I didn't. prepare for this and I was wearing like. a bad th I would just wear no I would. just take it off and throw it away. because I'd rather be wearing none than. like a disappointing pair even though I. know most men don't even animal H give. him a little treat you on yeah hey. bubbles huh you want a party a little. tonight go get your rocks off Little. Pony um did you was there part of you. that thinks I may have a chance with Tom. I mean you're a attractive lady you're. very funny you actually look kind of. like Jazelle you know that's really nice. of you and people are going to comment. that he Theo was on one when he said.

that but I will say um he's on that dust. exactly well I will say that I I have a. boyfriend so I was like no but but he. would understand yeah he would if you. left him for Tom yeah who's not g to. understand I'm not gonna leave him for. him but if I bang Tom like I think he'd. probably be like you got to do it yeah. get in there like but I that wasn't in. my I really did not think that but yeah. I mean like I will say that you know. I've I've done these Ros before and last.

time I was single and I like did a bunch. of jokes about wanting to [ __ ] Blake. Griffin because he was going to be there. and I would I I mean I would he's an. attractive man I was single so I was. like I'll throw in jokes about that and. just see what happens and it's a joke. you know like I don't really want it's a. joke but yeah was there a little bit of. like I would maybe like try me like I'm. not like just going to do oh oh he'll. [ __ ] me in a bat like if he wants to and. like he's Charming like it's a way to. flirt it's definitely a way to open the. conversation yeah um so yeah oh my God. okay I can kind of see it I mean that's. my goal like my jelle's the prettiest.

person that's ever lived so so I could. get to a 9.2 if I keep getting the right. kind of work in doctors I could maybe. get to looking like her like you know. her half sister or something like that. yeah like. jizel yeah exactly people like whoa. dude yeah yeah. sorry I I'm trying to think of another. one J zel but like the way you pay.

people yeah yeah yeah like that's the. ultimate uh hooker named. jizzelle that's great that would have. been a good roast joke come maybe that's. good that's good no you've got it you. could [ __ ] I was thinking your brain. toite like next time I do a roast I'm. just G to be like can I just send. pictures of the people and you just tell. me the first thing that comes to your. mind cuz you say you're the funniest. you're one of the funniest people that's. ever lived like you are you would be. amazing at roast jokes you're able to. just like look at something and break it. down in a way that I don't know you know.

you yes you do know I mean like you've. just been maybe you don't know it but. the way your mind works and processes. things is so [ __ ] Elite and cool and. uh yeah whenever I'm feeling not funny. I'll watch some of your like. compilations and stuff of just how you. talk and how you think and it gets my. mind into a place of like more being. more creative oh that's sweet of you to. say like I don't know if you ever feel. that way like the people you're around. like make me funnier like I or bit oh I. think that's there's a lot of Truth to. that it's funny cuz uh and thank that's.

sweet stuff for you to say I think there. was a time when I my brain was really. good and something happened to my brain. I think I might be getting a disease or. something but no way um no you're sharp. as ever oh I don't know I you feel it I. live in here you feel dullness like I. just feel like a lot of times I my brain. used to just give me like the craziest. like best idea and it would even. surprise me and now this [ __ ] is. just a [ __ ] you might be used to it. though I don't know because I I haven't. sensed a dip off from just obering you. make me laugh that's what I was thinking.

today I it's like sometimes you sit in. here and you have fun and this is one of. those times oh well making you laugh is. a privilege but I always just come in. here I'm like I'm not even going to try. to be funny I just want to like laugh. because it I I actually I'm on um I'm on. Reddit a lot and people comedian. subreddit oh I'm thinking of. Aug whatever like how many mills. you the more milligrams are Reddit. somebody's [ __ ] worst they're doing. dude no I only do it at night after a. long day like I I will I love Reddit but.

they'll show me a lot of um my friend. Comedians and I kind of see their. subreddits and yours is like so beloved. and and people like love you so much and. I've part like not participated in it. but I've like read through it and like. some of your sometimes I just go through. and they'll be like what's your favorite. theism and I'll just like read them it's. you're brilliant I don't mean to Fan out. but I'm I'm just saying like when I came. in here I'm like oh I'm just going to. like laugh the whole time that's like. what it is you and Dylan that episode. [ __ ] I've listen do it a couple times. you both no he is but he's NE I mean.

he's next level you guys are on the same. level in I saw him at a um dessert place. or whatever dessert banquet it was it. might have even been like a like a like. a dog show but for desserts you know. okay and it was like a. um and he was there I think he was a. judge what the [ __ ] that means okay he. he was like man that we did something. that day did dude did you ever I've. talked to him about it so often and I. just talked to someone recently who was.

like Theo and Tim and we were quoting. pieces of it where you guys were talking. about those uh the Uber Eats drivers the. door Dash guys door Dash yeah oh you had. some great lines in that like you guys. you both were just on fire it was so fun. oh my God that was such a great episode. you guys get together too off more often. this has been fun I got to go do his. show he's like let's let it simmer let's. let you know we want more good steak. he's like just let you know let's raise. the calf no no no don't raise the calf. because there's no amount that we as.

fans I'm a fan of both of yours in the. same way and I'm not like that with. every comedian like I'm not consuming. their content but uh you guys I I would. I would be like the way I would be like. refreshing when is this going to be. posted I'd be so excited it's my. favorite he yeah he makes me laugh I. yeah I've been lucky to have some neat. conversations with people and yeah and. then it's good way too to get to know. people and then this is what I start to. realize Nikki it's like the most time. you get to spend sometimes in a real.

conversation with some of the comedians. is through podcasting this is our hang. someone said the thing of like did. comedi did comedians have friendships. before podcasting like what did they do. like yeah this this is how we get to. know people this is how this is the most. we've hung out we've gone to like dinner. before and stuff but like these are. where we have conversations that we. would never have even at dinner maybe of. just like sitting and doing nothing else. we're not on our phones. yeah when are you hanging with someone. not on your phone so yeah this is how I. love podcasting for the friendship that.

you get out of it sometimes and hang. it's great yeah and to get to catch up. and yeah have some moments in someone's. life um yeah do you jockey for position. with the roast on where you get to be in. the order I tried you know I said I want. to go first how does that work you just. like wait for them to tell you what the. [ __ ] is going on because I there's no. like you don't know a lot they're just. like here's who's going to be on and. then you find out like oh that person. dropped out a week ago I'm like okay. well I've been writing about them for a. like can you tell me like it's kind of. like like who dropped out Mike Tyson um.

and then someone else I'll tell you off. air but yeah like so there man or woman. I'm going to ask three question there. actually three men that dropped off two. comedians MH uh Mike Tyson and then one. uh celebrity guy three comedians Mike. Tyson Two comedians two comedians uh and. they were men yeah and I don't even know. if they were confirmed I maybe they were. just names that were floated I wish oh I. cuz I I'm I'm friends with him enough to. be like don't drop out what are you. doing this is great for you you know but.

um no it wasn't it wasn't Tim and I. don't don't tell us any names because I. can't lie and I'll make you cut it I. can't think of other people oh good. great I'm so glad your brain is doing. exactly what you said it was doing. before tell Dude the idea just empty. yeah dang um but Mike Tyson so he didn't. want to do it or he just couldn't who. knows who knows it he could have had. something that he had to go do knows I. think at one point grank was supposed. miss it he was on it and then they took. him off cuz he had to go to a wedding. and then he decided to come back on and. I was like thank God he made that roast.

so like it wouldn't have been the same. without him so I'm so glad he he decided. to do it the people that dropped out. would have been great but it wasn't like. they were weren't showstoppers in terms. of like what's going to happen they. would have killed though I'm there's one. in particular that I'm like come on man. what are you doing you should have done. it and I think he da a tail probably I. wish he mean he'd be amazing at it I've. never seen him do a roast though that's. I thought too but yeah I I wanted to go. first because that's where I've gone. before right after the host just open it.

up and then I'm done and I can relax and. just enjoy the night I don't want to sit. there all night like thinking about my. set and like I just want to be done I. always want to go first on shows I I. just don't want to wait around and think. that's how I am during sex dude you know. and PE with yeah girls don't understand. it see I want them to go first and then. like so I don't have to worry about. pleasing me dude yes exactly that's that. yeah you're the same way yes yes I want. to go first get my work done I can relax. and get my stuff done oh I see what you. do like after I got you off like now I.

feel like I can just relax if I'm if. like you know if I it's like when you. massage someone and you're like I'll. massage you after this like I can't. enjoy the massage because I'm like I. have to massage this [ __ ] after this. like kind of like that but I ended up uh. yeah I asked for a first spot but you. just I don't have any power I was just. like I would like to really go first if. there is a chance for me and I'm the. least famous person on the [ __ ] thing. and they go I go I think it would really. behoove the. for me to go early I've gone early three. in three different rows and it worked. out but I don't want to also be like the.

last production company did it this way. because the they might go well then. we're not doing it that way because. we're doing things differently so what. were the differences between the Comedy. Central version and the Netflix version. you think well the one was it was live. it was live um so that made it totally. different yeah I think I didn't think. about this before but after the fact. like you can say any like I never. censored myself but it would get bleeped. and bleeped things aren't as funny as. just saying it sometimes they are. sometimes a bleep is funnier than the. word right um but it was 100% live like. yeah no way so scary so like I'm not.

kidding you I was oh and I've said this. before on another podcast so I'm sorry I. don't want to repeat myself but I think. we'll get into something else with this. is that um dude I had my set locked in. it's in the prompter I just gave it. right before we're going out like last. minute I'm making changes to certain. words everything it's perfect I submit. it I'm out there and then uh Kevin Hart. like does one of the jokes in my set and. I have there's nothing I can do there's. no stop down there's no commercials and. I'm just like what do I do and I just. decided to tell it thankfully it was our.

SE sets were um separated enough that I. was like people might forget that he. said that but that was like there was. just there's just and oh this is another. thing oh I haven't said this. before speaking of underwear and I was. going to say this and then I go don't. say this but I think it's kind of funny. it's good yeah I think people need to. know what is it I like write before my. period ended like a day before the roast. and so I was like I'm good like I was. took out the last want like I don't know. if you know how it works how many do you. do cuz they're almost like cigarettes. you don't do a whole pack do you um.

sometimes like if you're really like a. oh my yeah oh you can go through not in. a day it's in a day it's about three or. three two to four in a day four on a. very heavy day and maybe some girls are. fives and some days maybe your girl is a. one if you're yeah I thought there was. just one and then a couple days later. you take it out no way really yeah yeah. it's three or four a day we all thought. that really well this is three or four a. day and I wouldn't expect you to know. that like it's like we're not talk. it yeah you're going to need the gum to. quit dude that's crazy what yeah I was.

doing too oh dude wow no filter but I. like but yeah there sometime no so why. does marro make a tampon they they. probably with some nicotine in it that's. a way to absorb it I mean you there's. one you can soak vodka and get high from. doing that but I um yeah so I was on my. last one and like at my age your period. will stop and it'll start and like. there's just this fun things it's like. puttering out like it's like we don't. know what's going on so I thought it was.

done and then I'm going to for my right. to go to the bathroom right before we go. on I'm like I'm just going to pee one. last time and like uh St like it's back. on more period back it's back on it went. from nothing for a day nothing I was. done to it's enough that something needs. to be like I can't just like wipe it and. be like Oh and um there's no and I'm in. the for bathroom I'm probably you're in. a foreign bathroom forum the at the key. Forum I'm in the bathroom in the. backstage so it's like in this like kind. of party area it's not a bathroom that.

has like women's products or anything so. I just made a Tamp on with I just went. like this and just shoved it up and. corked it with some toilet paper which. any girl listening has done before. really like yeah because you either make. a you go like this and you make a pad. and you put the pad like with a bunch of. toilet paper you make a pad but I. couldn't risk making a pad because I was. wearing a thong it could have just. slipped out and I'm wearing a dress and. it falls out this like bloody napkin. would fall but I swear to God I didn't. tuck it that well later on after the. roast I went pee and I'm like it was it. was loose it could have fallen out can.

you imagine on live TV if my napkin with. blood on it like toilet paper would have. fall like it's not like a nice looking. it's like all crumpled up fell out like. what would I done like that kind of. thought goes through my mind I'm like. that was so close to happening so close. to happening that's scar it's like one. of those Hospital scenes in dun Kirk. have you seen Dunkirk no but it's like a. war movie even if the cameras didn't. catch it someone on the day would have. done something with it and then it would. have been a thing who would have done it. that's let's decide right now uh well.

Jeff Ross Jeff actually probably would. have saved me and just seen it and. covered it up he's. like yes he would have said it was his. like guys he would have put it in as a. pocket square yeah he would have he. would have had my back but um yeah or. you could have said oh I he could have. been like oh I thought what's her name. was on the day it's the lady from that. blood movie oh oh the the woman that. talks like this yeah Theos yeah. Elizabeth Holmes yeah they could like oh.

Elizabeth Holmes is here guys yeah that. would have been good that's good but. yeah like do you ever think about things. like that like oh my God that could have. gone so bad do you have like way any. I've done anything you're like oh my God. I could have said that word or what like. yeah dude it's live TV the things I. could have done and I know what word it. is dude and yeah. s. w and you don't want to say it dude you. can say it in your car but no man I but. yeah and you don't want to say it and. it's like but yeah it's like very scary. like when they do like we did good.

morning football or whatever yeah and it. was for the SEC Championship and it was. live and I was. like I would never let me do live TV. like I just don't even know what going. to go you know I just don't always know. how I'm going to be if something gets me. sometimes so scary you did how did it go. I'm guess guessing it was great great oh. my God that's so scary is that Pat. McAfee yeah that's he crushed it he's so. great it was it was really fun but it. was just I never realized what it's like. being live and they're like and go and.

you're like what yeah but you've done. like morning TV in like local markets. that's the closest we get to doing. something like this cuz that's live but. it's low this is pretty live I mean you. can take some stuff out but yeah this. feels live and I like even that last. thing I'm like oh my God if someone out. of context just hears me go say slave as. that was a call back if you're joining. the show late and missed it also if you. start listening to a podcast in the. middle at like 40 what if they're not. listening the beginning cuz they get. like a package delivered or something. and they miss that whole bit and then. they keep listening and that that's the.

only thing well if you don't know about. slavery in America dude then that's your. loss if slavery even. happened Jesus Christ I'm just saying. they never found the. boats bring up see what they bring up. some of the boat bring up the. marina the marina bring up the marina in. Charleston Oh my God this is not funny. Marina is looking for. it um where did the Amistad Doc is what.

you want to know oh I love that movie I. haven't seen it it's so good man Digimon. honu he's so good give us free he's good. in it they should do um they should. remake that and be like where are they. now you know right. um Tony hinchcliff so good let's talk. about that for a second dude he was so. so good well there's first of all. there's nobody and I say this out of.

sheer admiration I talk about his show. all the time yeah kill Tony gets a. 100,000 people watching it live when it. goes on on YouTube at the same time I. get it it's so good he was he was a rock. star that night I remember I just I was. like front row for it and he's walking. by me roasting and just like his the. steadiness of his Pace plus just looking. like just going nice shoes Tom you get. those in the divorce like just boo like. just so smooth so confident who is this. guy perfect way to get into it too. because it starts out in the crowd and.

you're just like who's this guy doing a. crowd bit that's like not the same as. what we're doing up here Dana White does. his thing Tony's like sitting there and. uh and then you know people know who he. is obviously but it at that event maybe. not as much but he owned that [ __ ]. room within seconds and it just starts. out slow you know it's like good joke. here oh this guy knows how to write a. joke oh that one was [ __ ] good too. and then the crescendo of like as soon. as as he gets to The Comedians and. starts going down the line at us I. really felt like I was watching a rock. star like it felt like a musical.

performance to me told him that I'm like. it was Rockstar levels of good like just. walking while roasting and he told me. like he almost he when he was delivering. the last one about the I forget he. Rodney King yes the king one that was. just a perfect lyrically perfect joke um. he said he almost fell off the stage he. felt his shoe like like he had one of. those moments of what if I would have. fallen during that like it would have. ruined I mean that would have been the. worst thing ever but that almost. happened like um but he he [ __ ].

killed I was so he's he yeah I saw him. the other night and we both know what. we're each other going through this week. of like people knew of us before on a. big level that I would have never. expected for my career but it's like. next level now and we're both like. you're feeling this too like it's a big. deal for yeah it's really cool so this. is do you feel like this is kind of like. a new level in your career yes let's go. dude dude it's I I not being modest. about because it's just undeniable like. I don't I don't get recognized this much. I don't like have people I've got I.

don't have people saying I heard someone. talking about you they don't even know I. know you like that's happened a hundred. times like every this is a cultural. event like I didn't know it was going to. it's it's it's really bigger than. anything I could ever have done in my. career it will never be a bigger moment. in my career than this even if I become. way bigger nothing this like like big. you look a little bit like um Kylie Mano. people tell you that no that's thank you. what's that um what what's the song She.

Sang a lot of D your boy is all I think. about I just can't get you out of my. head yeah thank you yeah oh yeah I see. it very pretty thank you um yeah I uh. there's just there was something about. this and I think also just that it's the. Tom Brady effect too I think Tom Brady. was always kept so from the public in a. lot of ways like he was around but he. was always a um you know he was always.

seemed like a safe guy you know a family. man you know who tried probably as hard. as he could to keep it together tried to. keep things on his own terms yeah and. even then and this just blew it open. yeah and this just blew it up I'm. curious to see what it'll be like now um. after the show what's it like when it. ends are there like like I cannot go. look him in the face right now are there. some people I can't see yeah I was like. I don't need to say anything to him like. he doesn't need to hear from me again. like everyone's going to run up to him. like we already I already hugged him.

afterwards he's very nice like I don't. need to bug him thank you know but if I. run into him great but I just went and. found my parents they were there so I. was just meandered off the stage and. went D him or anything no I saw him on. the way out I was walking back to my. dressing room and he was leaving and I. just said Tom thank you so much like. real quick cuz I really my number in. blood at that point I like knew we're. not going to be friends like there is a. vibe that you could feel like with Alec. Baldwin at his roast I was like that's I. became friends with him after that like.

or friendly he knows who I am he really. he was endeared to me but Tom I could. just tell was like this is a oneand done. like I wasn't trying to [ __ ] him but. like there's not going to be other he's. not going to be like oh you should come. to my parties or something right um so I. said Thank you and he said um thank you. so much you did great good luck with. everything which is kind of like you'll. never talk to me again well yeah have a. nice life we never have to see each. other yeah and I understand it like uh. that's how I would feel too probably in. issues but yeah that was it but. afterwards it's just like you know was.

there a big party after yeah there's a. party it was at the Forum Club yeah it. was fun my parents were there so I was. kind of like hanging with them and uh. and it was just starting to feel like a. little overwhelming of some something. big just happened in my life and so I. was starting to feel a little bit. anxiety about I was trying to process. like was that good did I go too hard. what what did I what did it look like I. don't know anything so it was I just. kind of want to get out there and I had. to be on Howard Stern at at 3: in the. morning I had to go get up for hair and. makeup so it was like finished at 10: it.

was in New York or oh was la la but I. had to tapes out here or you had to fly. I I did a remote from here but I had to. be up for hair and makeup at 3: in the. morning I was like can I just like stay. in this but I had to do a new look. because that's the way it works but um. yeah so I was kind of like what's next. and then I had Jimmy Kimmel the next day. so you just go into like what I have now. I have to like keep doing this again and. again and killing this hard and being. this prepared which is just impossible. cuz I don't have. because I think well the bet you don't. have to do continually do more because. yeah you could burn yourself out it's.

it's. unrealistic you know um I'm just trying. to think of how we everybody can kind of. relate to that when something kind of. goes good or it seems like you level up. in some way how to manage that or is. there anything really to manage at all. and part of that is just a mirage well. it's like getting a new car and you. think it's going to stay new for there's. a delusion that you have of like I can. just keep it this new forever it'll. smell this way the leather will look. this shiny like and it just doesn't you. can't like you can with a lot of hard.

work but you just aren't going to do. that most people don't keep new cars. looking good I think that's how I would. relate it to people who don't maybe have. that like the way I feel about a new car. I'm like okay this is who I am now I'm. this new car lady and like I feel so. much better about myself being in this. new car I can maintain this and you just. you can you definitely can you can keep. a car looking new but two days later. you're smoking mint dos in it you're. like I'll just have one cigarette and I. won't ever do this regularly keep my. hand way out when I smoke and then. you're [ __ ] eating me but then an ash. goes burns the seat and then it's game.

you're eating M&M's in it you're yelling. queers out the window of it y I'm. putting on makeup bronzers going. everywhere yeah you're yelling queer out. the window well sorry you're yeah but. you're in Clifton New Jersey yeah it's. not like you're just anywhere yeah yeah. and that is what the queer people like. to be called queer that they are queer I. mean it's a term they Embrace yeah. beautiful queers a lot of times yell. yeah I don't yeah I don't know that even. though they embrace the term they don't. want it shouted.

out but maybe n you got to get out more. yeah um who who was missing on the on. the day up there who was missing on the. roast were there any rasers you like who. who's your Mount roast more uh. Geraldo you know like obviously he that. feels like he's missing from there. someone who's just like uh is speaking. from like the heart in a very personal. place and I tried to like you know I. watched a lot of Geraldo to prepare for. this of like what is my actual take on.

these people I think we always remember. Geraldo at the roast some like it was. like Larry the Cable Guy and he just at. one point just breaks and it's like why. are you so famous like he just can't. take it it's not even it seems like it's. not part of the set I don't think it was. and that is like a moment that I really. liked and was like okay I I'd like to. recreate that like how do I actually. feel about this person what's my. personal frustration with them um I'm. trying to think who else you miss like. Alisa Lampanelli who's more of like a um. just boom boom boom and like can say. some really sick twisted racist sexist.

homophobic [ __ ] and get away with it. like just a sharp shooter like that she. wasn't there she quit comedy oh she quit. she doesn't do stand up anymore she was. like it's too mean it's not who I am. anymore and she was like the queen of. mean that was literally her moniker and. like I going to at Lisa lell show early. in my career there was no one better. like yeah she called me out one time in. the audience yeah I wasn't even comedian. yet and she made fun of me I was just. sitting in like the back corner so. you've seen you've witnessed it she was. amazing and she was just like no I don't.

want to do this anymore she does like. self-help stuff she she still like. performs well she lost all that weight I. wonder if that changed some of her. mindset in her life probably yeah she. yeah she quit insult comedy and now she. just does like she um she does like. weight loss seminars and stuff good so. she just wants to help people which is. something I could see either both you. and me getting into like uh of just like. empowering people you you know you watch. these head talks and these Tik toks of. people just like telling people like how. to live a better life and I'm like oh I. I could see myself veering into that.

being a life coach or something yeah. being inspirational not maybe not a life. coach but yeah like just teaching people. how to like themselves more not. necessarily being good at it myself but. seeing how other people could and seeing. um just knowing the tools to get there. not that I'm necessarily picking up. those tools right but people can see. things easily in somebody else even if. they can't see it in themselves or or. adjust that for themselves it doesn't. mean that they're not still a good um. like you could be a good painter but you. may not know your own colors or whatever. well you know I I used to when as a kid.

I remember watching gymnastics coaches. like yell at the gym these little girls. like you're doing it wrong car strong. yeah like Bella coroli and I'd be like. you get up on that [ __ ] beam you. [ __ ] but of he can't do any of that. [ __ ] but he's good at coaching so it's. just like it's that that's the kind of. thing and I don't even feel like um my. therapist needs I don't need my. therapist to have like a great full. perfect life that I want I feel like. they can they're using I therapist have. a a roundoff back handspring either yeah. they. don't exactly I don't need I don't need.

them to be perfect I think you can dish. it out without really doing it yourself. it's hard to do it yourself well being. alive is tricky dude some people have. wieners some people have vaginas yeah. some people both some people have both. now imagine that I don't think now I. don't think it's just getting built on. that's an interesting thing I haven't. heard about gender reassignment where. they want to become a hermaphrodite. where they're like I want both don't get. rid of my vagina let's just add on a. dick next to it well how many people are. Bor are more people born can you be born.

trans yes yeah so you're born with both. genitalia no no no no trans don't have. both genitalia people post off trans. have what they wanted they got rid of. the last one the penis is turned into a. vagina vagina's turned into a penis but. you're born trans um and then you could. be uh I don't know the exact terminology. but yeah yeah interex are born with both. sex characteristics 1.7% of the. population are born with interex traits. but not genitalia Jesus yeah that that. checks out so um what does that mean.

people are born with both people are. born with both but not they're they said. traits that means like maybe like more. like titties right okay bigger breast. maybe big hips or something yeah longer. lashes oh dang oh they look so good on. men lashes Martin you have long lashes. Martin yeah yeah so what about when. women learn to. um. uh masturbate when does that kind of.

happen for women cuz guys talk about it. a lot like you know I'm in these. meetings and people are always talking. about it and I'm like when do women. learn about it I was so mad at my. friends because all of my friends in. high school were doing it some in Middle. School some even earlier we didn't talk. about it we talked about everything they. didn't tell me about it so I didn't know. about it what were you doing just. reading or whatever I didn't even do. that I would never I was not I was. definitely horny in high school like. started late for me but it was it it. happened and I didn't know what to do. with it I I would like you know if I had.

an itch down there I'd itch it and I'd. be like oh that kind of feels good but. it would I would never follow through. and it wasn't because I was like I'm. God's watching I just didn't know what. to do I would never have I know like. penises go in you at some point but I. would never think to put something in me. I was not sexually driven in that way. but all my friends figured it out on. their own we were all doing they were. all doing it individually not talking. about it with each other and not talking. about with me either I would have 100% %. done it but but once I found out it was. a thing I started doing it yeah once it. became I was an adult but that was the. only way I had to have information first.

does it add wear and tear I feel like to. the vagina over the long term I mean. mine the way I do it does really I it. does not wear and tear but like um you. know people just this is not good people. always think all I do is talk about sex. but I just I feel comfortable talking. about it openly and I think it is. interesting I um I use like the Hatachi. wand oh my God is that a real like is. like a Walt or whatever you can look it. up Pachi wand you've seen it before it's. like the classic it's like in porn it's.

like it's like a back massager looking. thing it's like looks like almost a big. white mic oh that thing could beat an. egg huh that thing is oh it's crazy it's. crazy and so I put that in the front you. know you don't put it in you you can I. guess but that's I I pretty much always. use that and that um because it's uh the. vibrations like will make things. sometimes swell I guess so I can get. kind of swollen down there if I go too. hard but that's what I mean by beat up. it's not like it's like leaves permanent. damage or something but yeah you've seen. those before right yeah I've seen.

something like that I think also uh you. should they're amazing everyone should. have one water pick makes that too don't. they or what's that water pick would be. too intense but I'm sure that that would. work if if I was on the road and didn't. have anything and I was really horny I. absolutely would probably try a water. pick we need more of it in the community. girls get out there just I would really. recommend blowing people instead of. having sex with them cuz you can't get. pregnant and like I know sometimes. having sex as a woman you go that's.

that's less scary because a women are. scared of being judged after sex like a. really when you're young especially like. a guy's going to think I'm bad at. sucking dick and so you avoid it that's. what I did and so I would have sex. before I gave a blow job because I just. wanted to do what do you mean by dick. you're talking about wer yeah yeah yeah. and I thought that I would be judged and. so I had so much more sex than I should. have because I was just avoiding doing. this thing that I thought was high risk. but really the high risk was. almost pregnant yeah you should have. been blowing people definitely defin I. would if you go back in time I would.

teach my daughter about blow jobs and. say this is how you do them if you're. interested in boys teacher yeah I would. if I my daughter was starting to be. sexually active when I just sensed like. she's dressing in a way that she's like. boys are liking her and she's hanging. out with boys I'd be like listen listen. a they're SE to you but like if you want. to get a if you I don't think you should. I but I would recommend handob here's. here do that and I'm not going to teach. you how but like do your research jobs. are where it's at well that's what they. want anyway in Native American cultures. a lot of the older sibling will go out. into the woods and teach the younger.

sibling how to masturbate so there's not. as much shame with it because then it's. like something you like you learn you're. like oh this is yeah I do it like my. brother did it he did it like my. grandfather did it like we've all this. is how we do it you know yeah and it's. so it's like you at least can have your. own not style of it but it's like then. it's not something that's taboo cuz I. remember yeah I remember jerking off or. whatever and then just being like Oh my. god dude I'm such a weirdo God hates me.

people think I'm everybody knows I. remember thinking that even though. nobody knew I thought everybody knew. that I've been jerking off cuz like the. way I was like moving or something and. I'm like damn I'm walking like I've been. jerking off you know and so I think I. was always paranoid and if people would. be like hey what's going on and I'll be. like you know I've been jerking all oh. my God the shame that people carry with. them for so long so much shame that just. stays with you even after you like kind. of are like oh it's not that bad it's. like you can't erase it speaking of that.

um what else did I just see in the news. oh the Boy Scouts are changing their. name did you see that Nick to the scouts. or. something there we go Boy Scouts of. America changing name to more inclusive. scouting America after years of woses so. um are the years of wo about the gender. thing or just that they were m in boys. nonstop and they just want to get boys. out of the title to make people not. think about boys is this really is this. like a woke thing of like boys and or is.

this is about molestation and wanting to. get away from that there's no doubt the. Catholic Church will pick the name up. immediately. probably that's what I'm. think they should just call the Boys. Scouts of. America the Catholic Roman Catholic. Church The Voice of America now that. after 114 years that it will change its. name and will become scouting America. great in an effort to emphasize. inclusion so it is about inclusion as it. works to move past the turmoil of. bankruptcy and a flood of sexual abuse.

CL yeah so it's both I really think it's. both Boy Scouts is just it's a it's a um. yeah they've just you yeah after they're. so associated with dling boys that it's. like let's get away from that name that. we're a punchline they are so scouting. America I like it I think it's a good. move the crazy thing is nobody. apparently can hang out with a bunch of. boys without molesting one of them well. it's it's just that people who are. pedophiles find ways to hang out with. boys so that's a job that a pedophile. would get into dude we had this guy.

Richard langenstein right and he is um. he's dead now but he had an autograph. Shaquille O'Neal shoe like a big shoe. and he would always use that to entice. Boys in and then um try and pervert them. or yeah get them to you know just be. perverted or whateverit who is this us a. guy what does that mean you had a guy at. first I thought you were like we had a. guest on the show and so then we no as a. child in our town we had our to a school.

teacher they hav they've an in yeah it's. not CRA come look at this big sneaker. you know and you'd be over there and. then he would order a couple of uh they. have like video games uh filet steaks or. whatever baked potatoes and [ __ ] yeah. they they they have their Shifty yeah. they know they have to reel you in it's. like the guy the classic one is just. like a man in a van with candy but it's. like they find another way of like. having kids stuff arcade games signed. shoes like any of that [ __ ] like look. out if a guy in your son's life has a.

lot of a. memorabilia that 14 you know 12 11 12y. old boys enjoy it's not because he's. he's just in s touch with his you know. Boyhood s that could be it but if he's. interested in your son coming over to. hang out that I would say 90% chance. that person's trying to [ __ ] your son. yeah and parents would be like yeah go. he's a nice guy he's this teacher you. know and at first I'd go over there with. my girlfriend you know and we would just. be like nice good people over there and. then he kept having my buddies come over. and he would we would all get stone with.

him he used to smoke a lot of dope and. then he would like oh he would say. things that was real perverted you know. testing it's like they just have they. they have they all follow the same. Playbook it's pretty like evident when. you start paying attention and know. about it and my buddy put lotion on his. back one time cuz he had like um what's. it called when your skin kind of comes. off a little. eczema yeah yeah yeah that's I mean and. my buddy Nathan puts put put lotion on. his back and he was short too so he had.

like even reach up to do it which was. [ __ ] gay as hell and um poor Nathan. but one time we were in the kitchen I've. told this story before and my buddy. Scott was in the uh living room and uh. big Richard had ordered us a couple uh. filet steaks of course and we never even. had Stakes dude so we were [ __ ]. losing our minds dude The Parsley was in. there we're like what the [ __ ] you know. and um and my buddy Scott I was like uh.

he goes hey can you get me some sour. cream he just yelled from the living. room and I was in the kitchen and I said. no but you can have some of this sweet. cream I was just joking about Seaman. yeah I bet Richard like that and then. you heard Richard go can I have. some and all of our heads you could feel. like a like a like a secondhand tick to. the next in all of our heads and we're. like we somebody's getting molested dude. not it none of us are getting out of. here not it yeah not we'll finish the.

steak first but I'm out it just breaks. my heart that that's the kind of thing. that happens it's happening right now. hundreds thousands of places is that. kind of like grooming as they say which. is just it's disgusting but that's why. you got to talk about it so people that. have kids can be on alert for the stuff. because you're not a bad parent if you. miss it like I think some. you don't talk about it with your kid. yeah you have to talk if I had kids I. would tell if anyone ever the big thing.

I think parents need to know from what. I've learned about pedophiles and how. they operate is that they do what they. do then they tell the kid if you tell. anyone your parents will hate you. forever and they'll or I'll kill your. parents like they you'll lose your. parents in some way and they believe. them because they've already had the. secret thing that's going on with this. guy you just need to tell your kids if. anyone ever says they can kill mommy or. kill daddy or that we won't love you. just know they're lying like cement that. in your kids' head that no matter who it. is no one can kill mommy and maybe. that's a bad thing to tell them but no.

it's not you got to put that kind of. stuff. they they use against the kids and that. will keep a kid from telling even the. most a parent that says tell Mommy if. someone touches you in your bathing suit. area that's not enough you need to say. if someone tells you that I will not. love you or that I will some they will. kill me if you tell me it's not true. right that's what you got to do I think. yeah no I think you got to you got to. people have to communicate to their. parents to their to their children about. everything like like if your kids aren't. getting along if they don't love each. other like you got to teach them how to. love each other like there's so many.

things I think some parents maybe just. think their kids know automatically that. it's just maybe because they didn't. weren't instructed you know but it's. like I think they there can be more. instruction out there and I don't have. any children so I'm not judging I'm just. saying you want to be a dad right yeah I. would like to be a dad you great oh my. God you'd be so great your kid would be. so lucky but my freaking wife is going. to be there and that's going to be the. tough part that's the bummer. she'll be she'll be good too you'll pick. someone good she'll be good yeah yeah. she'll be great you're not g to [ __ ]. that up and if she isn't I don't know.

what happened to her. officer I'm joking that's my future wife. might be hearing this I'm looking. forward to Lely I don't know you yet but. I'm looking forward to loving you or. maybe I do know you that's so sweet. that's so sweet that kind of [ __ ] like. really gets me when it's like like you. talk to your future whatever or I think. that's so cute cuz she will see this. yeah she might yeah she well even after. your married she'll F someone will send. her this clip or something oh yeah.

that's sweet yeah it's nice yeah babe. yeah manifest it yeah hey uh we're just. watching the game and the that's all. we're doing we're not up to no good you. know back off the coke uh just saying. things to my future. wife um what else is going on anything. anything else in the. news did you see that uh that Peter. Griffin that they found on Tik Tok you. see that guy no I'm not on Tik Tok are.

you real life Peter Griffin oh wow what. did you ever uh believe that you would. be a big success honestly I I I just. dressed like Peter Griffin the ComicCon. like 11 years ago my friends and decided. to have fun and then it turned into this. whole career thing and Shout out of. Family Guy I didn't believe people at. first I was like they did not shout me. out on Family Guy people were sending me. the clips I'm like holy [ __ ] they really. did so uh it's been quite a trip I I I. enjoy it tremendously I like making.

people laugh and making them happy and. that kind of stuff so years I love him. he sounds exactly like him yeah he does. amazing my buddy Danny looks like um the. wife what's her name uh uh Lois Lois. Lois Griffin yeah my buddy Danny and if. wait your buddy Danny looks like her. yeah and I'll put a side by side if. Danny allows to ask him after we tape. and ask him to see if I can put it in. and he took us fishing once in Illinois.

up there in Stark County Illinois they. got a beautiful male um Lois Griffin. look alike this is insane that guy yeah. he does a good job yeah what about um. you have your new special is out yeah. HBO someday you'll die is the name of it. what a great time for all the extra hype. then right dude it all just timed out. perfectly what are the freaking odds of. that it's I just am really lucky. sometimes you just go man I lucked out. there's been a lot of times I'm not. lucky in this business and it could have.

kept going like that but it was yeah it. just was great so it's a little bit of. pressure of being like well my standup. is not roast right like that's tight. like refined and my stand Up's a little. bit more it's different and so I'm like. I hope people don't expect that and but. it's I I love it and it's it's beautiful. looking and I worked really hard on it. and I wrote a song I wrote my first song. I have a single out right now dude I. know and here's the thing is like I. would never bring it up if I thought at. all it wasn't good but I'm it's like one.

of the things I'm most proud of in my. whole life I've ever done I wrote my. first song and it's like I'm not kidding. you it's a hit really yeah I like I my. voice like I'm going to get better at. singing but my songwriting is [ __ ] I. feel really proud of it it's like a pop. song that I like can we listen to it. yeah I honestly I would love for you too. I I would and I would never in a million. years watch a standup clip with you of. mine ever do you know what I mean but. this I'm like yeah play it hit it um. well it's first I want to yeah last time. I went to my buddy Walker Bueller's. house and he's a pitcher he was on he. was a previous guest on here um he's a.

Dodgers pitcher and uh and his wife. Mackenzie they just had a new baby bring. up that baby this baby is so cute if you. can find a picture but I was over there. and she was saying that they saw you on. the roast and then uh that that she went. and watched your special and really. enjoyed it oh really oh nice just so. you're getting like some immediate feack. thank you no that feels so good oh she's. so cute oh congrats to them oh yeah dude. it was cool oh that's they're so so. happy that's so exciting they really. were she's perfect it was cool to see. yes she's uh even cuter now she looks a.

little bit like George castanza right. there no shade he's beautiful he's. amazing but uh she's a little older now. but anyway um that was one of the. highlights of my week was uh getting to. go see their kiddo but they mentioned. that they saw you're special nice okay. good no it's I I'm I've I love it it's. just you know you just like all eyes on. you you just are like I got to keep this. up people are saying fantastic if I even. drop the ball a little bit people be. like no she's actually not and then I'm. I'm scared it's going to go away but I'm. not embracing it too I'm like not.

letting it in that that much because I'm. scared it's going to go away you ever do. that yeah well I think there's like if. things are going good there's a level of. also just being in a place where it's. like okay I don't have to slam I don't. have things are already I'm already. going downhill so if I add acceleration. then that's when things get scary I'm. already or I'm already at you know. increasing speed that's what I mean so. if you add like people are like you know. you have to throw gas on the fire while. it's going but I don't know if I. always I don't know if I always believe. that you know um this is it so this is.

this a real song dude okay so the reason. it even got made is like I've been. during Co I've learned how to play. guitar and I started singing and I was. like I would like to like be able to. like play at a coffee shop just like. with a wig on or something if I was. famous enough that people would go. that's a key Blazer but generally I was. like oh I could probably just do this. under a different name or something just. like literally coffee yeah just a coffee. shop because my dad plays locally at. grocery stores and restaurants and bars. and grills was your dad an astronaut uh. no he was in the Cable business but.

close and so he um but he plays music. now and he's a really good musician so. that's all I aspired to was like I'll. just do that but then when I was making. my special and editing it we were like. uh like what music do you want to use. over the credits and I was like I gave a. bunch of songs because I care about the. credits like I like that song to like. hit at the end so I had a bunch of ideas. but they were like $30,000 a piece and. we were over budget so it have come out. of my money which I would have paid if. it was like but I was like no I'll just. what if I wrote a song and you know my. producing team was like you can and I.

was like oh okay so I just hired a. producer from Chicago to come down to St. Louis I flew him down put him up and he. was a friend of a friend and then I had. my other buddy Tim convey who's been in. bands uh we all got together and the. night before I was like I want to bring. a song I don't want someone to write a. song for me like I want to write it and. maybe it'll suck and then I'll use their. song but I just wrote the song the night. before we went into the studio and then. the next day I was just like. I've never written a song in my life. like I've written like parody songs to. songs that have ever been written yeah. but like from coming up with the melody.

and everything like it was and I was. like oh this is actually good like it. was kind of like the way I felt the. first time I did stand up where I was. like I think I'm kind of good at this. like I'm not great yet no but look I. think this is have potential having some. confidence in trying something new is. huge you know cuz I think everybody. wants to try different things you know. um and even if it sucked I'd still keep. going but I'm just like I think I just. got L you know it's you the first set. you have is always really good because. you wouldn't keep doing it and I think. that's like I'll I'll write some real. shitty songs but I think I wrote a.

really good song Amen yeah I want to. hear it I we'll listen to a second yeah. I want to get a DJ table too because. even if you're good at that you're still. dumb as [ __ ] what do you like to what's. your like kind of extracurricular that. you want to be really good at that maybe. as people are like no one needs that. from you Theo like kind of like you know. we like you for this stop trying this. other thing is there any sport or. sometimes I would think yoga yeah DJing. mhm how often do you do yoga three times. a week oh that's a lot so you're getting.

good and you've been doing it a while I. feel good yeah it feels pretty good when. I do it what else maybe pickle ball yeah. artwork yeah oh and a. lot violin and sex maybe wait violin. really you play violin I just think it. would be remarkable to be able it would. just shock the world up even if you're. very even if you're four years in you. will blow people's minds at how good you. can be just with a little bit of work.

amazing I could see it thank you and. what else oh uh harp is kind of gay I. think but I would like to I would be. willing to date a woman that was a nurse. or could play harp okay um dude I was on. this I one time I was on this iwaska. ceremony and we're sitting in this room. and me and my buddy are dying laughing. so hard they had they like kicked us out. of the ceremony cuz we're laughing so. hard yeah then somebody came up to us. outside of the ceremony it's like 3:00.

a.m. in the middle of nowhere and like. hey you guys are laughing too loud you. have to go back inside I'm like we just. got kicked out oh my God now you're like. kicking us they don't want us in there. they're like now they're puking and can. come back in they're distracted but we. were sitting in this one room and um we. were like having like this winning this. trance kind of like this um uh um. meditation moment pretty deep and this. girl was playing a harp just over in the. corner like she was she'd come out and. she had a harp and she was sitting there. just playing it kind of and um and then.

at one point uh this guy's like hey you. can play that harp a little louder if. you want to cuz she was playing real. quietly it was it was a real quiet. environment and she goes who me and. we're like we just died [ __ ] laughing. like. like you think there's another [ __ ]. heart out here it was just weird that's. the dumbest story but um I loved it.

let's hear it this is Nikki Glazer. someday you'll die. [Music]. [Music].

[Music]. [Laughter]. I brool. just one scroll why can't I look like. that Lely that.

y hey man. [Music]. huh that's good let's leave him let's. let him let's make him want to go list. let's make him go have to list song of. the summer someday you'll die dude I. could see that being remixed dude by. some DJ. yes do it you what I'm talking about you. got the equipment I well I'm ordering. some stuff online yeah people do.

something with that song do whatever you. want. like but I don't have to cuz someday. you'll die it's like yeah oh yeah it's. like that's what I kind of feel. sometimes is like I I have Suicidal. Thoughts with when I get depressed and. it it soothes me because I just the idea. of it people go oh that's so sad you. think about killing yourself I'm like no. dude I need I need to think about that. because it relaxes me to be like someday. this will be over it's okay but then. also that's also the fear is someday. I'll die holy [ __ ] you know it's both so.

I just yeah it's that's what my whole. special is about really really yeah just. like dealing with the fear of death. while also really wanting it sometimes. cuz it's just life is too [ __ ] hard. well yeah sometimes I think about how. much sleep you get when you're able to. die and the rest yeah it's like you. almost feel like you know what I could. sleep for about 80 years yeah so you you. wonder how long until God like Sparks. you back up or whatever yeah you know or. um I think sometimes it's quick and then. sometimes you just wait around for a. minute cuz you're not I don't I don't I.

don't who knows what happens but yeah. sometimes it feels like death will be. like oh good I have a vacation coming up. yeah yeah I think sometimes death's like. yeah we got a good one here yeah yeah. and then sometimes it's like no I don't. want to leave it's like it's both but I. don't think it's the worst thing in the. world to think about death and be. soothed by it sometimes I used to feel. like I was really something wrong with. me that I felt that but it makes sense. it's like it's just I just want to think. about it I'm not going to do anything. about it I know I'll never kill myself. but sometimes I think about it and it.

makes me feel like I have a little bit. of control and that there is a way out. if I want it even though I'm not going. to do it just let me just fantasize. sometimes and it's not good for you but. I do go there and I I'm not ashamed of. it anymore I guess well I think thinking. about that sort of stuff is fascinating. you know it's interesting because we've. also determined like everybody that has. a thought that's not positive that's. something is wrong with them you know. when people like some of the most like. morose writers and stuff of our time. have thought about some of the most.

depraved and darkest things you know if. you look at like niichi or Edgar Allen. Poe dude or um the guy that wrote um the. Vinci Code. yeah you know what I'm saying stays with. my yeah no it's true it's like you got. to go there I know think about it yeah. but sometimes I get scared to think. about it but it's really a brave thing. to go think about too oh I think your. brain won't let you think about it for.

longer than like there's some kind of. statistic about longer than 90 seconds. or something because your brain just. can't handle it that's pretty crazy. isn't it it is it's interesting yeah and. it sucks that we all have to do it I. know that's what I don't like like. sometimes I forget I have to die someday. and I'll be just looking at a plane. window letting my mom wonderand and I'm. like oh [ __ ] I have to die some [ __ ]. [ __ ] [ __ ] like it's almost youget you're. like oh no I got to do that like it's. just just like yeah like I left the oven. on yeah I have to yes exactly that same.

feeling like I'm GNA miss this or I'm. gon to miss this person I got to get my. passport updated [ __ ] yeah I got to do. that remember to do that oh I don't want. to but yeah are all the emails or that. you left your shoes in the hallway. that'd be like the thought I'm have when. I'm dying like [ __ ] dude I left those. [ __ ] shoes in the hallway what's the. problem with that well they should be in. the closet what what's going to happen. if they're not I don't know I just won't. die the right way or like OCD it won't. go into time I won't go into the filing. cabinet of of the heavens the correct. way like [ __ ] dude you [ __ ] left the.

heat on well I have that OCD thing too. sometimes of like if this thing I don't. do right then this other thing will go. horribly and I had that right before the. roast I was like trying to remember a. lyric and I was like if you can't. remember this lyric this like you know. when your brain just makes a Ru and. you're like yes you better [ __ ]. remember this lyric and I couldn't I. didn't I failed my little test and I was. like okay it's set in stone I'm going to. fail on the rast and let me just tell. you it didn't happen so OCD like went. it's not always real like cuz it was set. in stone God made that assignment for me. to remember that lyric I failed the test.

therefore I was going to be punished and. My OC was wrong so that like that gave. me a I was so happy when it went right. cuz I was like okay good that isn't real. that that thing that happens to me all. the time is not real all the time when I. was a kid it would be like I'd run and. try to jump and touch a brand if like if. if you can't touch that Branch you're a. little F or something and then I would. run and I would not be able to touch it. and I'm like God dang it dude you know. yes we do well I do it all the time. still and it's not true um.

babies where are they huh Whitney did it. not me wow not I'll adopt if I want them. you need to have your baby fight her. baby though that would be fun it's not. going to happen unless I I'll adopt a. child that is the age that hers is so we. can do a fair thing in uh what brand you. going to adopt whatever's available I'm. kind of like I would never go like I. want it to look like this I'm the same. way with dogs like I'm not like I want I. want to rescue but I want it to be a. little white dog or whatever it is I. just take whatever they get gave me but.

of course you hope for like a cute kid. yeah I want him to be a cute kid and. smart and all and but I feel like yeah I. don't know I I don't think it's for me. unless I find someone who really wants. to be a very Hands-On father almost in a. mat like as present as a mom would be. because I really like to work and I like. traveling still and stuff like that and. I think that's more of a father role. work is my relationship I realized over. the years yeah me too it's like the. thing that I I don't know if I fell in. love with it but and it's really a. relationship I have it's like I wake up.

with it I go to bed with it it's like. part of my it's like the biggest part of. my life you know it's yeah you it pays. off because it is it yeah it is but at. some point you can start coasting a. little bit and let in something else. yeah maybe so I'm projecting to myself. maybe something with some tits on it you. feel me you deserve it thanks dude or. get your own that's how it is. now that's a lot of dudes huh a lot of. dudes are like oh I ain't gonna meet. these chicks I'll just get some tits put.

on I don't think that's how it works. really no I don't think men are are. transitioning to women so that they can. I'll show [ __ ] I'll be one of them. you can't titty [ __ ] yourself well but. you can look at suck your own I guess. yeah you look yeah but dude you don't. want to sip where you eat you know what. I'm saying dude I think or whatever I. think you do I don't know what the. statement is Nikki Glazer uh thank you. for roasting Tom Brady dude what an what. a crazy thing to get to do so crazy so. cool yeah yeah a legend is he beautiful.

in person so handsome but almost like. unreal looking like we had I had a joke. for a while that was like I want to put. a knife through you to make sure you're. not cake you know like he looks cake he. looks like his wax figurine was they. were like we don't have enough wax to. make it look like as waxy as he does. right he looks unreal because had really. good done yeah he's a good-looking man. but it's almost too perfect I I was. intimidating to look at has he had work. done you think oh yeah really be crazy.

if he didn't he's got all that money. he's got a wife that is like the most. stunningly beautiful woman ever you kind. of want to raise to that level she's got. good people working on her I'm sure. she's a naturally she's a natural 10 but. she's also she's gone up to 12 I would. say with the right work so yeah he's. definitely done stuff he's definitely. done stuff and I don't begrudge him he. he did good stuff he looks great. beautiful man beautiful guy beautiful. man yeah Nikki Glazer great to spend. time with you so fun congratulations.

love you too thank you now just. [Music]. floating these leaves I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel it in my. BS but it's going to take.