Neal Brennan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #246

today's guest is a young man who is a. co-creator of the Dave Chappelle show. he has a Netflix special called three. Mike's and another half-hour special on. Netflix on comedians of the world he. also has a podcast called how Neil feels. and we're going to get into all of it. today he's a friend of mine from the. Comedy Store as well. give it up for the hilarious mr. Neal. Brennan. [Music].

[Music]. as you come on stage. really yeah cuz why just put it in my. mouth people do get mad people I. remember when I first started podcast. and people would say him in and you your.

breathing pattern I remember they wanted. a real specific way like now man this is. not gonna work for me you get a life. like this. yeah the iambic pentameter of breath is. really can you breathe it a little more. treble some guy wrote yeah this is not. gonna I've been listening to your. breathing and I'm and I refused I can't. I can't go on like this if you're gonna. breathe yeah people get real they just. need a three one more time like adding. cash yeah [ __ ] this guy [ __ ] change.

the station but then I get worried that. some kid is getting abused or beat and. afterwards because of like sometimes I'm. you doing what some day I can't stay in. the breathing pattern it sends him into. a loop you know that's my fears go yeah. sure you don't do the headphones oh yeah. I do them sometimes and sometimes well I. mean you we don't have to I'm happy to. turn them on I don't know. okay was to feel this vibe with the. headphones and then see how you feel. with it off sometimes for me it's just. like a feeling kind of thing oh I like.

it better cuz it's cool cuz mock you in. just sonically it's more pleasing and. like Sonic's it's just better like there. you are yeah I feel like I'm in a Tesla. little now yep yeah this that's where I. that's what I like you got the Tesla my. did I wanted to get the cheap one but. they didn't have any and I got the so I. at least the expensive one and what is. the price on that I've seen you in it. man you win and when you gotta show up. in the Tesla's at first I'm like ah [ __ ]. these guys are you know [ __ ] these.

Jetsons you know right um but now I'm. starting I'm honestly starting to get a. little bit curious. I like gasoline I like the chance to. [ __ ] you think you have you been in. Joe's no dude they are so fast. it's it made me laugh out loud and I. don't care about speed I don't care. about I just do but I got in the car I. test drove it and I laughed out loud and. I was like all right. have to get this because I nothing makes. me laugh Wow yeah like I got it because.

my but you if you if you ride in at once. you'll be like okay I'll go away and. what is it does it feel like does it. feel like I'm on a conveyor belt that's. what I imagined it would be like no it. just feels like you're in like FedEx or. something it's like you're being FedEx. somewhere I can't it's so fat you know. when you're like on a roller coaster and. it first starts yeah it's like that. whenever you want it to be okay so the. fun thing is if you cut people off but.

you know just in traffic and not like. your intention but you just cut them off. and then you hit the gas it's like I'll. sorry I'm not gonna be a problem like. you thought you were mad and before they. even get mad you're gone that I love why. so people need to get mad now maybe you. don't even get people can't get mad. that's what's that's what's most. gratifying for me and in some rural. areas I bet you cut something off on a. test litters taking pictures like oh. yeah man they're just [ __ ] that yeah. hello police some I don't even know what.

the [ __ ] it was but I'm reporting it you. guys should know about this thing I. think I undercover cop there's something. [ __ ] future man's here so now what. else is possible in there like do they. how accurate is the real you can drive. home without having to touch the skin. well okay on the freeway you can hit the. thing it will stay in the lane and it. will not it'll keep whatever number of.

cars you tell behind like if it's stay. one cars distance that's what it'll get. to with whoever's in front of you or if. there's no one in front of you you set a. limit 85 now 70 cuz that's a great but. the problem is you can Reese you have to. like check in every 40 seconds okay you. have to like jiggle the steering wheel. every 40 seconds so what happens it. shuts down. yeah it'll beep and then it'll go you're.

it what's funny as it kicks you off. autopilot like now you're you've lost. your privileges and what you just wake. up back at home. no then you have to dry.you for that. drive you can no longer do autopilot. like now you can't handle Wow. so your [ __ ] Kingdom what oh hell. yeah so and then so then you have to if. you want autopilot like it's happened to. me where I got kicked off autopilot yeah. so then I had to stop go to the store. and like start over and ask for it yeah.

like baby I know how [ __ ] up but if. you could see to it to where I could do. the autopilot yeah Lou you have to start. baby yeah yeah yeah that's like it feels. like light skin are big yeah I think. about it cuz you in a regular car man. like I got a Jeep Grand Cherokee you can. just doze off for a second but you have. to wake back up yeah yeah this and they.

won't kick you off you can repeatedly do. oh you can do that [ __ ] all the way to. San Diego bro if you're driving in the. middle of the night yeah bro I'll. [ __ ] take about 20 seconds I'll set. my timer on my phone for about 20. seconds and totally shut down yeah sure. of course and it's totally safe yeah I. mean it's you have to get up about that. you can't hit snooze a Hugh hit [ __ ]. snooze twice you know yeah you're gonna. wake up in a 7-eleven let's check it's. real risky out there wow so you're in. now did you does it make you feel less.

like a man like less manly to not have. gas yeah no because if you if you hit. the gas once yeah if you hit the. acceleration once you've never felt like. more of a man in your life no way I'm. Joe Rogan has won the I know and at. first we biggest man any of us have ever. met he's the greatest man top to bottom. values wise physicality ideology [ __ ].

this guy does UFC he [ __ ] with alien. DMT all the acronyms H he does all the. acronyms and he does it all yay. yo yeah okay [ __ ] he does him also so. uh. so he does all of it so he and he's got. one so it's good enough for Joe I don't. see but when you go back in a regular. card as if you're going back in the past. it feels like a failure.

it really feels like you failed like man. this is [ __ ] [ __ ]. and honestly I can't I mean backing up. doesn't feel right just none of it works. once you've once you've gone to a Tesla. it's like going to a flip phone dude it. reminds me that's what I'm saying Ramon. g34 I was like a probably about a. three-year hold out on a cell phone I. was like God is [ __ ] ain't a really yeah. you didn't you dude was like this is not. gonna happen I think this is insane yeah. why you didn't like that you were always. available I think I'm a traditionalist.

you're an analog guy yeah I am. I get it my brain runs a little bit more. analog and I'm just a little bit more I. need that I just yeah just wasn't ready. for it I said man this [ __ ] is insane. you know nobody's gonna believe it's a. if you tell somebody something into a. phone and they hear it but is it as true. as if you tell somebody something in. person yeah I had thoughts like that. like is there the same value on the on. the whatever The Voice or whatever like. does it mean anything I think you're. kidding a little bit and I also think. you're not kidding at all yeah like I.

think there's you know there's a thing. called epigenetics which is a parent's. DNA isn't you like that like it's. basically like your parents can. experience something and then you have. the react the trauma right but 1800 [ __ ]. in you yeah I believe when was your. father born no in 1910 goddamn that's. insane so yeah I think my grandfather. was born in 1880 so I believe I do have.

some of that yeah I'll probably have. some [ __ ] yeah I mean my dad had a. [ __ ] his boy you know his neighbor had. a horse I remember and they had a horse. for a little while that they let him. watch it yeah but yeah I thought the Val. you know I remember thinking the value. of communication is gonna really it does. it just degrade yeah it degraded and you. I mean you were right. you're right it's too much yeah it's. like much but when I got one.

I remember thinking holy [ __ ] dude. there's nothing I can't do yeah yeah. I'll write your own ticket man yeah. [ __ ] world's yours yeah your and your. also that's also true yeah like it's. [ __ ] it's a big deal its first cell. phones a big deal they just re-released. the razor phone yeah saw that and it was. like I thought about that time and 99.

1998-99 having a cell phone it was a. thing was yours a razor would you have I. think I had a razor at one point I the. black razor do you give that t-mobile. sidekick ever oh yeah oh yeah absolutely. not long though cuz they didn't really. they came and then they would then they. went away yeah but yeah it was a bit. yeah getting emails on a phone was crate. that was a sidekick who's the first one. sidekick you flip up crap and it made. you seem cozy people heard that noise.

yeah what is it I got the [ __ ] people. dropping drinks and [ __ ] as you sow so. yeah it was a big deal but you are an. analog guy yeah do you feel like that is. your problem I know that's like a big. but you feel like you're you are. uncomfortable in a lot it's like you. seem at ìlet you seem at ease and then.

at the same time you feel like you don't. understand what's going on some I just. saw this recently man I sometimes I have. a I'm upset that time moves so fast it's. like I just I just feel like I can't. ever win I just can't ever really get a. grasp of what's going on and it keeps. happening you know and it really does I. think sometimes frustrate me a little. bit what is the what what do you want to. get a grasp on I think just to feel like. I'm kind of inking that everything that. I'm gonna be able to control like I.

guess that I'm in control you know that. I'm okay you know okay I got the hang of. what's going on now yeah without things. neat changing so much and is that within. relationships or that's within. everything. I think that's is within existence. really yeah so I think yeah I just just. thinking about that the other day I just. sometimes feel you know not like it's a. bad thing but like I just realized oh. wow I have this this irrational idea. that like almost a resentment against. time because I can't get a Kentucky it.

won't let me grasp everything at once. you know it won't let me. you can't organize everything is well as. you need to because it just keeps. happening it keeps going and and also. then I think because I'm probably lazy. sometimes and so it's like damn give me. a chance. broke your lazy time I don't I don't. know your schedule but you seem pretty. active yeah am I wrong. uh I think I I think I procrastinate I. think sometimes you know what I thought.

the other day man I put I set this weird. bar in my mind that everything needs to. be perfect or like everything needs to. be perfect but then I also know this. thing about myself then I procrastinate. sometimes and so I will set both it's. like I will set the bar high oh yeah you. know that's one of the reasons people. procrastinate is fear of perfection mmm. or not fear of perfection they're. perfectionists so you're like well I. can't start now because I'll get to it's.

not right yet like I don't have it set. up you're gonna fail you're gonna fail a. lot of procrastination is just fear of. failure yeah this is feeling like you. can't and then you'll start when you go. well if I don't I'm [ __ ] if I don't. start now so that's the only like the. fear of being [ __ ] is greater than the. fear of being imperfect mm-hmm and then. if once you get to that point you go. okay they'll start or like you have to. start yeah I'm that last-minute starter.

a lot of jobs but things are working out. for you man yeah things are going okay. man it's crazy this year I got in so. much fear man I just got you know it's. just and I'm not trying to sound like. ungrateful or just yet this year was. just [ __ ] crazy but I was crazed just. a crazy year it was busy and it was hard. and it was what did you find hard about. it because I think people from the. outside in people would assume it was. it's been great for you it's if people. would think it's probably the best year. your life right. yeah and I think I just couldn't feel.

that I just couldn't I just think just. got real scared man I got real scared. but what what up just like of that. things we're gonna I think for one of. not maybe knowing who I was as things. got more successful you know like I'd. always been this like I'd always felt. like I didn't have a chance a little bit. mhm and I'd always really liked that had. always been something that I really like. carried me oh yeah you were like an. underdog yeah like an underdog like the. underdog who wouldn't get you were.

getting [ __ ] and you were they are not. helping me and yeah [ __ ] and. yeah and then you and you're like oh. wait they you're not I mean you are. still but that's part of your appeal. yeah and I just didn't yeah yeah I just. but then I felt like I didn't know how. to be I don't know I felt like I didn't. know how to be successful and then I got. scared I started to get real scared and. I got real like controlling even this. year like everything just I wanted. everything to be I needed help and I was.

afraid to ask for help and so then. everything would felt like it was on me. what did you need help with just with. just with like touring and doing that. kind of stuff and being willing to like. just trust that other people know what's. good and I don't know I think I just had. like a lot of dislike I mean for me a. lot of it goes back to like my. alcoholism stuff it's just a lot of that. stuff just flared up like just fear just. came up everywhere yeah it just came up. everywhere man I was just I don't know. man I just got kind of scared and it's. not like a self-pity thing I'm not. feeling sorry for myself like and I also.

I couldn't feel gratitude I really. needed to feel grateful when I was and I. felt so grateful for for the past couple. years man and then I just I just had a. tough time man and I just got real. scared honestly bro I got real what were. using what were you you were afraid that. it was all gonna go away yeah I was. afraid that I was just gonna mess it up. yeah you know I was afraid that you know. that I was a phony I was afraid that I. was like a liar just I was afraid that I.

was no good just a lot of just. self-worth just didn't it just was hard. you know not in a bad way I think the. only thing that you would [ __ ] up is if. you weren't yourself yeah I think that's. the only. that's the own people like you because. you are your unique like just watching. them known you probably eight years or. somebody's watching you. it's been cool watching you go from I. gotta say your hair cut from the outside.

in was a turning point seemingly yeah. cuz you you were just like trying to be. kind of like la you're appealing or. something or something I don't know what. you were trying to be just like a like. just more like everybody else yeah and. then you got then you started doing this. with your hair and it felt like. everything fell into place. yeah like oh like myself yeah like if.

you felt like more like yourself and you. you like you started being more yourself. on stage yeah and being weirder on stage. and being more regional or southern than. you'd been before yeah and and and then. and then you start a podcast it just. felt like all these things started. happening in sequence and from the. outside in and just a guy who sees you. at night it seemed like once you had. that hair it was like he's empowering.

am I wrong no it felt a very empowering. man I think all my life to I've had a. big nose I've always been scared to have. like like real short hair cuz there's. less things to hide behind you know. you're here's the thing about you that. I've always said about you that you. you're good looking and you don't think. you are yeah. you are good looking like I bet if you. they asked most 5s most women would say. you're like an eight yeah I say yeah I. thought brush my teeth I am an eight but. I believe everybody's an eight if they. take care if they clean up and they take. care of themselves I believe that okay I.

don't agree okay I respectfully disagree. with that but you're and you're. definitely an eight because you're like. kind of Tang and olive skin you got. night you know like your was symmetrical. the big nose thing I don't think it's. true I mean it's fine and I have a big. nose but like it mine's bigger than. yours mom I'd love that lean yeah I got. that mind. I got the open nose maybe I love that. [ __ ] Li yeah you had that tear that. scar you got like meat.

so yeah thing is [ __ ] like a thought. bro I feel like it should be in a thong. sometimes you got that donk on your face. man yeah so anyway growing my hair. longer once I was like yeah and I think. four years I'd try to audition in. Hollywood and been like I just I hated. it I [ __ ] hated going auditions yeah. absolutely hated it I felt uncomfortable. I just was scared yeah I just didn't.

know I didn't like it and I didn't want. to admit that I didn't like it I was. afraid to say you know what I don't like. this I felt like I had to do it and then. yeah once I was just kind of like oh. I've never I saw some pictures myself I. said I'm never gonna have real long hair. you know I had it when I was really. young right but I'm never gonna have it. again unless I grow it now and then once. I grew my hair out man I started to feel. like a [ __ ] you know like just like a. king bruh just like somebody who had a. [ __ ] it's like I'm gonna dick on the. back of your head bro yeah it feels. empowering dude it's what it looks like. that cuz it's like hey you know what I'm.

gonna look how I look it then you I deal. with it this looks the way you probably. fit looks like your character yeah it. looks like what I would assume your. character and it also looks like your it. looks like your character like your your. values and all that [ __ ] but it also. looks like the not like theof on skater. but like the thing that's funny about. you is also that yeah it's the guy that.

wants to an adult that wants his hair. like this in 2019 it's beautiful yeah is. who you are and that's like it [ __ ]. yeah I don't I'm glad that I was right. about because it was like it seems like. once he grew his hair like this. everything J yeah yeah I guess I got. scared to like say that I wasn't feel it. was hard for me to tell how I was. feeling and and then I I was like nobody. wants to hear somebody who's doing well. complain nobody wants to hear him.

complain yeah. and so that kind of got tough for me too. like even on just the regular episodes. of this podcast. just by myself to talk about things. because I just felt like man I just I. don't want to be I don't want to have. self-pity but I don't know what's going. on right now I'm just you know I'm just. I was just I was just scared. you know just scared really when I think. about it and how does it resolve or did. it it's just kind of resolving I'm just. like trying to get more like in a. 12-step right now and just really. focusing on that and like were you not.

doing that I was but it might hit my. that my program had gotten real small. whenever I was just working all the time. yeah you know my life got big in my. program got small yeah and I think I was. angry of being at some success because I. thought I would feel better yeah yeah. that's the other thing when I do you. think like well that if putting. conditions on your happiness yeah going. well I'm not happy now I'm not even. gonna allow myself to be happy now. because I don't deserve it. yeah and then you good [ __ ] happens and.

and you're like this didn't work either. but yeah what's gonna work the [ __ ] is. gonna work and what I I will say that it. is gratifying to be the times I've had. like you know weeks or months of like. attention is gratifying it feels good. yeah I mean it feels gratifying to it. feels shallow to admit it but it feels.

good when people yeah that feels good. our ego feels good we know good yeah. nice whenever people acknowledge you yes. and but at the same time it it shitty. that you that you that we lit I feel. like it's partially like American to. only be happy if you accomplish X yeah. and and I've been trying to do a thing. and it's very degree success but where.

I'm like no just give yourself that. esteem for not for not for nothing just. for Y put it on some why leave it up to. a situation or the way to make you feel. good about you to make you feel good. it's like I can just feel good because. life is short. and and like I you know it's like I used. to beat myself up for not being as funny. as Blanc and it's like all right maybe. I'm never gonna be as funny as [ __ ].

bill burr or or did Chris or Dave or. when it's like what so I'm supposed to. [ __ ] sulk my whole life well yeah I. wanna [ __ ] have a fun time with my. skill level and you're funny is totally. different to of course yeah of course. we're like I have different talents. right we don't recognize those things we. just yeah we set these things and it's. like yeah and it's yeah we just set. these comparisons and it's good for. business it is good for American.

business when everyone feels insecure. that everybody feels like they got to. work harder and rise & grind and all. that right definitely but if you just. get to the point of like no I I'm I want. to have a fund I want to feel good yeah. like I meditate and then in the last two. minutes I just go like just feel good in. your body for no reason yeah just just. feel good your job on in on earth is to. feel good that's my job to make myself.

to have as much serotonin flowing. through my body as I posit own and. jockiboi don't ya like and and without. without drugs or drink whatever just. getting things going feeling that is. they that to me is the mark of a life. well-lived. yeah how good did I feel. minute-to-minute a membra honestly no I. feel you 100% like yeah like I and. without drinking or drugs or would have. but like how did I [ __ ] have fun did.

I have fun that's all I think about now. when people die did he have fun did she. have a good time not did was she. upstanding and did he enjoy himself did. he wear the mink ever yeah exactly like. d1 twice yes was he and member was he a. respected member of society no [ __ ] it. did you enjoy did you like it that's the.

thing is when that haircut is you or. [ __ ] liking it yeah that's it. you [ __ ] my values my my barometer is. I don't care about anybody else's mine. what do it you know what I also been. doing closing my ears like literally. like weird like a little kid where you. like close your ears and it's like. acoustic thing and it's going what do I. like yes what do I like and then you go. I like ice cream or it'll the most basic. [ __ ] comes up I like ice cream.

I like jerking off I like whatever you. like you come up and just know that yeah. just do that that's that's what we'll. just do that as much as you can without. [ __ ] up your life yeah and that's the. hard it's the hardest thing to remember. the hardest thing to remember like [ __ ]. everyone else's values what do you like. and if it's like if you're if you're. victimizing people you're doing it wrong. right right. like not without you know without being.

abusing yourself or abused and you know. relationships or whatever but just what. do you like that's the lowest that's. just between you and you yeah do that as. much as you can yeah yeah yeah yeah. having that personal relationship with. yourself and just yeah that's huge it's. yeah we lose it yes some of that's. gotten lost I think and he's definitely. an American thing like it's it's such a. blessing to be able to live here and. stuff but at the same time that we start. to see like the D value the D values.

ization I think of being a human once. you like at a certain level of like. comfort and stuff you really fall out of. like whatever tribal or whatever like. yeah pink shoe whatever confidence stuff. is inside of you you that's the nice. thing about 12-step programs yeah is. you're gonna try your that's probably. what you like about it oh yeah man I. just saw a guy at a gym this morning. last night I'm somewhere and I see yeah. I went to a meeting last night now and.

it is man it's one of the things that I. didn't have here in LA yeah it's like. sitting just sitting across from. somebody and talking about we could talk. about how we feel like we can have. conversations like this a lot of times. where it's a little bit more like you. know cuz yeah just like about what soil. or emotion I need. like hey I need help I talk I have to. call someone today and tell them not. good news and that kind of heard. something I have to make a call and that. stuff always scares me so it's like now. I can ask somebody who's done it before.

or he's older than me who has a business. or something how do I do this you know. and they'll tell me they're like it's. gonna be okay. you know don't let it spin in your head. where you're up yeah after the night. you've had nine conversations with the. guy yeah now I don't have to do that. that [ __ ] doesn't have to happen I can. say okay you know I'm powerless over the. situation with somebody else I know can. help me yeah and it can be a friend it. just yeah it creates a Brotherhood you. know yeah I've never gone to 12-step. programs have been like [ __ ] I shouldn't. of coming yeah [ __ ] waste in my cup. it's always like at least nice yeah it's.

at best incredibly helpful and at least. like oh this is cool. yeah yeah I got in this year my program. got real small so I didn't have any of. the tools I was needing like I had no. tools I was just like holding on in our. podcast you it was just more about like. helping people and being involved in. people's lives and I just felt like. disconnected at some points and yeah and. I should have just talked about that. like why I feel disconnected well I've. watched your thing about the you know.

why you got sober thing yeah and that's. like one of your a very popular clip of. yours right yeah yeah and that's what. that's what people like about you man. yes that you don't understand. you if you were like a logo you'd be. like a guy just carrying a bunch of [ __ ]. around they don't like that guy right. there yeah you like you're like I don't. know what but it's like feelings it's. just like emotional [ __ ] and discomfort.

and like you're walking around like I. don't know what to do peach cobbler it. has one of them down matches [ __ ]. fireworks like a bunch of clothes it's. like wet clothes like the dryer broke. and you got [ __ ] and you're looking. for like a place to settle.

down you're just carrying a bunch of. [ __ ] around looking for a place to set. it and figure and that's your appeal. yeah that's like so and people and. watching you struggle is the emotion is. like the fun of it that's the like not. the fun of it but it's it's fun to watch. a guy who doesn't think he knows what. he's doing but you do know what you like.

you if you talk it out you'll be okay. yeah I just quit talking it out man. yes didn't have a place to talk it out. and then everything not everything. everything's good everything's okay but. my head started to swirl that everything. was you know just a lot of negative. things came in and and so then I just. wasn't I was living my dream and not. even enjoying uh Tennessee not enjoying. it but I felt like I was just it was a I. was just scared I don't know I just felt. [ __ ] scared and it was a huge just a. lot just a lot of changes like well.

that's the other thing people don't. realize about fame or success or some it. is isolating and it's a little scary cuz. you're like [ __ ] it's like having a. superpower samuri like [ __ ] like people. know me not just did [ __ ] it's just. different and it's less human it's less. human yeah it's less of a human it's. less of a normal human experience like. even Fame a thousand years ago was like. every one of the Treadwell everyone on. the tribe knew everybody anyway but I.

you got a little more respect you felt. like I'm the shaman and people think I'm. cool yeah a rock thrower yeah yeah I. throw I'm the [ __ ] road charter rocks. yeah the guy that [ __ ] and it's a one. guy and night by the fire yeah just huge. [ __ ] like big ass yeah I gotta sleep. yeah I gotta rest. yep so it is so when you get in these. situations where and then we also think. like famous people are kind of full of.

[ __ ]. so or they're phony or they're like. putting it on so it just it's it it's a. lot of weird it's just a lot of weird. dynamics yeah which is why I it eats. everybody up oh you see it yeah. I see it in a lot of these AAA rooms and. stuff like that you see a lot of people. and and that gets scary - it's like well. what do what what type of popularity do. you want how much do you want what is um. it's just yeah it's just so all of that. just a lot of that coming into my head.

and just trying to figure it out and not. having a lot of not going to a lot of. meetings and having like a look and. trust in those things it's a different. it's a different kind of discomfort like. it's like a new discomfort it's a new. it's a new way that you don't understand. the world. yeah like well I didn't understand the. world before and I've kind of figured it. out or I got out you escaped into this. other like well now I'm popular and. famous and successful and then you're in. that you're like uh [ __ ] this is its own.

[ __ ] ball it's its own rules and. dynamics and [ __ ] yeah I just wanted to. feel like myself and I just couldn't you. know and so now I'm working more towards. uh it's not even working more I'm just. trying to just let go with stuff and you. know kind of trust a higher power and. and just get him back into my program. more yeah and it makes me feel more. dialed in and makes me feel like I want. to help other people and and I hadn't. had that feeling for like about six. months and it's tough when that was like. the feeling that I loved the most was.

acting like oh there's other people that. struggle and it's one thing I love about. you Neil is that you always like are. good at talking about um like and it's. not like self-pity [ __ ] it's just like. this is what's kind of going on in my. head yeah and how it's relating to the. world around me well that's the thing. that like and you love that kind of. stuff I love cuz I don't have any shame. about it I don't have any because I. started going with like a therapist when. I was like 23 yeah so it's been I just.

stopped. you're like the Larry Fitzgerald of. thing yeah man I got dreads and [ __ ] and. we have to make herbal references you're. the blackest guy we've had except me he. actually was like Neil man can you go. over and [ __ ] but he said bless bless. vo so you know he's black. so uh yeah that you don't I started. going and I just stopped when I came to.

that conclusion of the I had a therapist. that was forcing me into relationships. like not not for it but I went to. therapy because I'd be in romantic. relationships and be like I don't really. like it that much. yeah I'm like you know I can do it I can. like robot my way into like be. compassionate be that it is like be like. the stuff women want you to be yeah. and I can do in some and I just was.

alone and all that yeah all of it man. and you know consider emotionally like. intuitive oh yeah what's going on yeah. like listening and yeah yeah and and I. didn't love it right and and she was. like I you know so I would just force my. way I tried to force myself to feel more. comfortable in relationships I wasn't. really supposed to be in I wasn't in. love with the people but I didn't know. that mmm and finally like a year ago I.

was like hey what if my role on earth is. not to be a husband or a boyfriend what. if that and she was like well I just. think he'd be happier and I was like but. I don't know if I will be right and I. want to feel okay right instead of. always having this fight yeah like even. the idea of like I'm looking for someone. to complete me right no I'm completely. complete I'm not an [ __ ] for saying.

that I don't want to feel like well I'm. looking out the window like is she here. ya know maybe someone is for me and I'll. meet her and it'll be great you don't. want to hear goo goo dolls and have hope. you know yeah yeah like everything's. come I thought even I don't have a hope. it's just right not hope but not not. this constant a little bit of fresh it. like yeah like sure yes it's a pressure. and I feel like women feel it too and. won't admit to it imagine how much they. feel it if you yeah yeah like that they.

need to be a certain kind of way to get. a guy to like it all those in Condon and. it's like it's. my version of cutting my hair like that. where I just was like I don't want to. feel like I'm I'm just a boyfriend I'm. an unsuccessful boyfriend yeah I'm I'm a. failed husband somehow even though I'm. not like and that's been a huge one from. Wow like and to I stopped going to there. because I was going to therapy for that.

to feel like well I'll just be a better. person all than all and it's like now. dude it's about the relationship with. yourself and accepting that you're fine. yeah fine yeah yeah good whatever you. are as long as you don't drink or do. drugs you're great. yeah and even if you do you're great. yeah like you'd prefer not to but if I. get lifelong whatever yeah but if you're. so I don't have any shame about emotions.

or I just find it interesting I find it. as interesting is as basketball or you. know a man like this right people like. oh I'd love to see that game too oh. here's the emotionally unavailable. people playing the depressed people. oh [ __ ] you my always why don't they. have a family few with stereotypes the. [ __ ] good yeah that's really funny.

okay so I love that I love that cuz. there's these weird normal energies and. things that it's like oh yeah my if a. girls don't like me or if they're not. throwing themselves at me or if Earth if. I don't have a girl for something that. I'm not okay yeah that you're not it's a. cultural value thing but but okay I'll. agree to that for sure there's a lot of. pressure from coral-like but also. there's something probably inside most. of us and it would make sense that it's.

not in everyone just like some people. are good at something and some people. have or not but that do you feel like at. some point it's almost like a selfish. thing like okay I'm going to like be. able to look at it like that too like am. I just I'm not opposed to it that's the. thing is I'm not opposed to it I I just. don't want to feel. I think a lot of people are in. relationships that they I mean. statistically look at marriages those. are the people that were sure they found.

the right person. yeah and that's half of those don't work. yeah we say it like on Big Brother when. they go in that secret room and tell how. they really feel always said that right. for every wedding you I mean that's what. I was saying I did a joke there night. that weddings are basically like jury. duty for everyone but you don't get to. say like you like my I got a feeling I'm. not gonna say anything. the I don't I I just think most people. are in the wrong relationships and.

because they were like well it becomes. this musical chairs thing well like. especially for women because they have a. biological clock and they want to. reproduce and they're like [ __ ] close. enough. imagine that imagine putting like a dam. I mean every woman's vagina is basically. like who's that man with Danny Glover. you know I'm talking about Mel Gibson. yeah but in that movie with a hot hot. quiz pop pop quiz pop quiz hot shot yeah. it's a lethal weapon yeah yeah they have. a certain amount of time for the bomb.

good yeah imagine having that in your. [ __ ] body all the time and by the. other thing about the vagina is like we. didn't have a baby this month I hope you. like blood [ __ ] yeah and then three. days of blood Oh like it's like the. Bible Eve [ __ ] it yes every [ __ ]. month like dude give it a [ __ ] rest. with the blood because I didn't sergeant. make a baby yeah it's a big deal it's. like a Stephen King novel it really is. like what again with the blood so yes.

like Jesus cry get it you want to have a. baby stop bleeding on me um pop pop quiz. hotshot is actually from speed I don't. know if you're oh my god Danny Glover. with Dennis Hopper yeah I am in a race. with with Mel Gibson with Mel Gibson um. what do you think about that Nick about. what about what Neil said about the. relationship thing I'm wondering like.

how you ended up dealing with it and. like finding you seem like maybe you. just hide it well. but you seem like you found some. contentment or I did find it in that. realization Wow. and like I did that three Mike showed. the next show was about that the next. show was about I'm I'm good I'm all. right yes despite all the ways that. you're telling me I'm not alright I. swear to you I'm alright. iris I swear I [ __ ] swear I'm alright.

see I respect that I believe you because. I know that you look like I've seen over. the years how we you know we talked. about especially a lot of relationship. stuff and about that I know you've gone. through the proper channels I mean if. there's anything oh you're you're a. thinker and an analyzer mhm you know. yeah so I could see yeah I just think. that do you ever feel that pressure Nick. like there's this invisible pressure in. the world that a hundred percent I mean. that rising grind line you had earlier. like it's just I mean I listen to Jaco.

too much so I'm like if I'm not getting. up at 4:30. what like yeah that's art we are just. you like it do you like it. that's the only thing it's like do you. even like when people are I was saying. to somebody they got mad at me but I was. like having a good disposition is. basically a six-figure job unbeli it's a. six-figure salary your if you're happy.

naturally you're you're doing better. than almost everybody yeah. and that's the thing that people never. talk about it's like disposition is the. number one commodity it's the time it's. the most valuable thing in the world. yeah yeah I talked to my sister on the. phone man she's the happiest girl I know. and they live right by the interstate. like illegally close to the interstate. like I'm sure yes someone who has. anything to do is owning road yeah like. like you'll see a children's ball from. their yard balanced across six lanes.

yeah so it's a really alarm homework. flow yeah totally and I'll call her on. FaceTime and she's sitting over there. you know she's got her two kids and. they're beautiful and they're smart and. um and the dog ate the baby or somebody. you know things are going on it's. alright oh definitely yeah but then you. know Theo we're not gonna we're just. enjoying ourselves they're having a. blast. having a [ __ ] blast and I'm envious.

every time I talk to them in yeah of the. [ __ ]. just like the ham like man yeah like. that and that's like literally you. cannot buy that right you cannot it. doesn't matter how many pot how many. download in order to change your. disposition is so [ __ ] hard and the. only thing that does it is 12-step. programs yeah I always say the only time. I see people change are when they almost. die or they go to 12-step program that's.

the only way in as an adult that I've. ever seen people change yeah. like [ __ ] I almost died and now I. understand life in a different way or I. go to 12-step programs and every single. day I have to like re-calibrate myself. yeah to this to a way better value. system yes than the one that we're all. soaking in yeah that were rising and. grinding and [ __ ] like no legs yeah. like [ __ ] Pro to [ __ ] games can't.

stop walls not and is there some way to. get a triplets and you're like yeah like. stop for a second just stop lady. yeah I can't stop that will you gotta. stop yes so so I so that's the thing. with the relationship thing is like. feeling like it's okay it's okay to feel. the way you feel yeah quit making that. yeah quit letting everyone make us feel. like just good we don't we don't have. somebody it doesn't mean you're nobody.

else is sitting in the world thinking. you're a failure because you don't have. somebody you you're still your person. you're still and you can be a happy. person yeah don't let that be that. element I also have a [ __ ] fun time. we never sell time yeah have your it's. like I was I wrote in my notes thing. like I want to meet someone who's having. a funny conversation with themselves mmm. like that's what I'm would say people go. what kind of person you want just are. you [ __ ] having a funny do you. when you walk around do you think funny.

[ __ ] or think interesting [ __ ] like. that's the kind of person I'd like to. meet instead of like a square. yeah or like one of us that's having. this conversation but not really this is. good Commerce no this is a good cover. but I may be somebody that's living like. yeah like always yeah like in. interesting whatever like whatever. people call this a deep conversation. it's it's it's all conversation should. be around this deep. yes far as I'm concerned yeah I get. bored otherwise or just I've already had. it at me in times well everything else.

is just trivia everything else is like. so wha. would you would you eat yeah yeah. everybody wants to know everybody a what. you come on man yeah somebody says what. y'all have come you got to do better. good it is so nice though and I'm. walking around in my head is having a. fun time yeah that's the [ __ ] singing. yeah here in association thinking about. something make it a black eye like a big. black eye yeah I'm black eye at the gym.

you don't even know why it's funny but. he liked it you like you liked it he. liked it maybe he knows you maybe he. doesn't maybe I just felt yeah yeah. you're walking off you're like I didn't. do slavery I'm good yeah I'm straight. yeah it's regular white people thought I. had a black homeless guy one time say. what's up white boy it's [ __ ] great. and I knew he meant it I knew what he. meant and I and he knew who I was in. that moment so yeah. silver bells Don tonton silver bells oh.

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10% off enjoy that front pocket carry. well I'll be honest with you I'm going. this afternoon you get my butt waxed and. also to I'll probably shave this evening. what I'm talking about is taking hair. off of my body and it's um there's. something very unique about taking hair. off your body you feel like a chef you. know you feel like somebody that's gonna. cook up something maybe you you might. cook up a cornrow or something if you. put enough hair in a pot and know how to.

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that and we'll talk about Shanghai kid. yeah oh you tried some unique therapies. um and um and I wanted to clear out that. yes depression depression what do you. got that electromagnetic one yeah so I. tried I when I started going to therapy. in 20 when I was 23 they put me on. Zoloft because they knew how great was. it in the beginning amazing well I can. drink nine gin and tonics they did not. get thrown I liked it I liked it for.

like a decade though oh I was good I. didn't it wasn't a drinking thing for me. I just liked I liked it oh yeah I loved. it Brock you get up early I felt would. you would you last longer when you had. sex. oh I wasn't odd last longer when I. jerked off for sure sure alright same. thing. definitely way definitely dude yeah. because you were always looking a last. longer. yeah yeah right yeah you wanted to save. at a certain point is like for I'm the.

one who's I'm gonna have the orgasm what. have we making it last for it ah it's. like my what's that and Greek guys. pushing the ball up the hill this is not. yeah like yeah why am i yeah where. you're looking for just the right thing. to say like what just finish did I could. press my butt against the corner of the. counter right when I do is that true. yeah I believe that because you couldn't. MIT I was a young bro when I was young. yeah great yeah and you just got I don't.

know so when people judge other people. for what they're into it's like I used. to press your butthole against the. counter against ya know Liam so it was. linoleum - of course. was the oh so so I so I did that for a. while and it worked and then it just. stopped working but like after a decade. so then I started doing other [ __ ] and. none of them worked other pills no but. okay so zoloft neat right other pills. and none of them work yeah so then I. just I think I went on reddit and and.

typed in like alternative depression. sleeping in the water yeah next thing. you know so they know they had there was. a thing called TMS which was a. transcranial magnetic stimulation right. that's the way the thing I like people. make fun of reddit but it's the only. place by the way right it's the reason. podcasts work yes that it's unorganized. organization it's like it's off the grid.

but on the grid it's like an alternative. way to do [ __ ]. so it's this it's what podcast is to. radio reddit is to the internet or. society and transcranial magnetic. stimulation so it's basically like a. tapping thing it's a it feels like. tapping but it's a magnet it's an MRI. beam stimulating a party brain that's. known to cause depression did that for. its forty five half hour sessions. natively right over like a month and a.

half. obviously like four days a week did that. four years ago and it worked great. then well it worked great I stopped. taking Zoloft I felt really good I was. on nothing. [ __ ] yeah I was I was more emotional but. it was still I was good yeah I was like. I'd cry kind of without warning like. like I would get just like quickly upset. and then I gave me a pH I'll [ __ ] try.

anything I don't give a [ __ ] oh wait. sure why not but it was like a bad. formula it was like a cream so then I. started having panic attacks on stage. here on HGH the curry yeah I was on the. clear I was on Barry Barry Bonds is fun. it's like protocol the SPF. milkshakes yeah yeah that's funny yeah. it was crazy so I started having panic. attacks on stage I was like [ __ ] this is.

not a antic attack the night before I. did my Netflix three mics ah yeah so and. you talked about this on one of the. special you talked about the trans crash. yeah yeah and three much yeah so so so. that I did that and then it started to. panic Rex I was like f [ __ ] I guess it. didn't work so then I went back on. Zoloft. and I still felt good from the the. transcranial but you know I'm always. looking I'll do anything. okay I don't kids or wife or anything. right so so you uh you do the show in.

Shanghai and I'm always looking to just. travel and I'd rather go to to Tokyo. than like Milwaukee right it's like more. interesting right yeah definitely super. unique um. and right before we go I just want to. what did anything else that you tried so. oh I also tried ketamine ketamine the. the drug right but that they do that. clinically now for depression and I.

didn't like it other people liked it I. just didn't like it didn't work for me. so so so you just shown Shanghai text. and again I also do Milwaukee but if I'm. just gonna do if I'm want to go away for. a weekend I'm [ __ ] so i go to i go i. tech I email you I said what's you did a. show in Shanghai who's the guy. this guy he was like yeah I do was shown. Shanghai but also my brother is a like. neurosurgeon and he's very involved in.

the transcranial the TMS community oh. wow and I know that yeah so it's a new. thing so he's like if you want to do TMS. while you're here and do the show that. Chinese TM a man Jesus so yeah man so. last week I did that [ __ ] Chinese. Tammis bro and I'm in a Chinese hospital. in Shenzhen China and I'm getting so the.

first time I did TMS was here but his. brothers got this brain mapping software. where they can see. what parts of your brain are. communicating well with other parts of. your brain so they basically found that. the back of my brain which the serotonin. Center wasn't communicating well with. the rest of my brain so I got [ __ ]. zapped in the back yeah and on the right. side for for five basic ten sessions a.

day for four days straight yeah I went. and did the damn thing like and so a. [ __ ] sweater with you Tony on that. yeah [ __ ] I'm on that [ __ ] that. unlimited [ __ ] I'm on the unlimited. power right now did you feel that what. what happened I feel good I don't want. to do this thing where like I'm in love. I don't I'm just like I feel good I. think it's better but I don't wanna. it was elective it wasn't like I was.

like I couldn't I'm just like a zombie. in life I I want I'm trying to optimize. my trying to optimize my [ __ ] life. yes to feel good not to produce not to. rise & grind not to make a bigger profit. than I did last year just feel good have. a fun time yeah enjoy myself do weird. [ __ ]. just you should go to Shenzhen China go. to Hong Kong go to [ __ ] Shanghai I. love hearing that man cuz sometimes I'll. forget that that is the goal that that.

the goal is to feel good sometimes it's. like I know it originally I knew it yeah. but sometimes then I forget that that. what an important goal that is you know. it's like these are all these other kind. of ways to say it and ways to like you. know replace it almost get put in you. put it you organize it it gets organized. in a way cuz you think about when you're. like 10 during the summer right oh yeah. what were you trying to do you just get.

up just try to get some [ __ ] poppin yeah. just write it in short just try to get. some [ __ ] poppin I try to put your. sandals on dirtbike around [ __ ] these. guys are over there and them at the edge. of the woods yeah they're doing some. [ __ ] then you go over here you get some. candy you get and you can. keep doing that yes a different way yeah. just you just can do it are you work and. you do all that stuff but just see what.

else is just get some [ __ ] what do you. like doing do that I like doing stand-up. here's what I realized I like doing I. like doing stand-up I like directing. commercials I like writing jokes and. talking to black people to talking of. course and I like just like just [ __ ]. [ __ ] around watching [ __ ] on the. Internet going on the inital online. three hours you like you're kind of a.

little bit of a Magellan on the UH. mental health front a little bit I mean. it seems yeah nobody talked about it no. and that's the other thing is nobody. talks about it yeah and I don't have any. shame I don't think it's any weirder I. don't think that having depression is a. weakness I don't think it's any weaker. than having tendonitis yeah oh I'm just. like you I don't know let's see I'll try. to treat it I'm not gonna make it like I. don't I'm not trying to make it a heavy. thing yeah but I whenever I see you I.

try to talk about your feelings or your. emotions like cuz dude that's the thing. the reason why that clip of you is. popular is because everyone wants to. talk about it but most places it's kind. of like a you know I'm sure after shows. you have as many people that just like. you because you're funny and and and and. quirky and then there's also people are. like hey man can I talk to you about. such-and-such. yeah a lot of people come out a lot of. people are struggling yeah yeah I didn't.

realize that I guess that so many people. were having tough times but then I look. at all the people that are dying to meds. and dying to this and that yeah man. people really are struggling yeah do you. think that one of the reasons a lot of. young men are struggling is because just. like the way we've changed from being. like really like limbic like things we. need to do hunt get milk get honey get. you know yeah you know attack stuff do. stuff be they are connected to the earth. and then now we've become this separate.

sort of just it's almost like we're just. like a straw. thing we're house cats being contained. yes we're indoor cats now so it's. [ __ ] scary. well yeah it'll make you start to you. know well we're you know it's a these. are all luxury problems right right yeah. no they're luxury problems I'm not. saying it like you I'm not compliance. Tway it's the this goes from the. delivery America for the richest. American most of our shits taking care. of our basic needs right yeah and if I.

don't want to do [ __ ] you can just. [ __ ] let the government give you. money every mommy yeah it's like you you. can you can get taken care of in this. country yes so once you've got your. basic needs taken care of then you start. getting philosophical right and start. eating away and like am i pleased right. am i happy as much as where I'm [ __ ]. on the bar conversation like no but. problems with a robbery are we a side. effect but a problem is a problem it's. right if your problem is I need water.

today or your problem is or I brain. doesn't feel good today yeah if that's. still a problem yeah and I think I would. that what I do is I try to treat it the. same way I treat it I'm hungry which is. I need food I need some I'm gonna do. something to treat my brain right I'm. going to [ __ ] China bro yeah they got. them good zappers over there I'm going. to China like that I honestly that's. that's kind of my thinking yeah like. we're set up enough that we can just.

even if you work 60 hours a week that's. did you still have a lot of us still a. decent amount of free time like that you. and what do you want to do with it. to treat the rest of it like the you're. hunting just what are you hunting for. yeah if it's you're hunting for answers. there's plenty of fit you can do there's. plenty of [ __ ] you can listen to plenty. of books you can read plenty of 12-step. stuff you can meditate you can pray you. can there's so much [ __ ] you can do. that's not like yeah there's a lot of.

new therapies out there things are. coming out all the time there's new ways. that people are thinking you know. there's podcast people to listen to. people to share like share what's going. on with them what was China like do you. think what do you think of the Chinese. be honest. and I wasn't gonna be honest till you. yell that at me. I was like I had a bunch of lies in the. chamber i hears I like here's what I'll. say Chinese women were better looking. than I thought okay because I think that.

they get a bad rap I think the Japanese. women get too good a rap and Chinese. women get don't get enough props I. respect that. thank you and I've never been in a. communist country before so what I found. really [ __ ] crazy and I just talking. to Brian and talking to other people was. that they don't really tell you anything. there are rules that that are given to.

you there's no legislation hmm there's. no government that you can lobby and get. a law they just make laws and they make. rules and those the rules and the other. thing is sometimes they enforce them. sometimes they don't and they don't tell. you when they're gonna force them and. when they're gonna not and that's [ __ ]. scary. that's scary so I was doing a show in. Shanghai and I said are there things I.

shouldn't talk about and they said don't. talk about the three T's Tibet Taiwan. and Tiananmen Square those those are the. touchy subjects so I was like I don't. really have anything to say about those. things anyway now they are putting. Muslims in concentration camps are they. yeah the the called the we Gers and like. millions of them and so I did a joke. about that a lot of we Gore's in Detroit. you know they be honest with ya and so. now you say you might doesn't [ __ ] I.

made a joke about that which I was like. and then literally a black woman came to. shell was like better go ahead with that. [ __ ]. in the front row like don't [ __ ] they. will [ __ ] wrap you up by the way. there's no due process so if you get. arrested we'll let you go when we let. you go the judges are just people that. just were like I'm not gonna say there. were just guys that were hanging out at. the courthouse but it's close like Brian. was saying like if you just have. seniority. you'll get you become a judge you don't.

have to have a law so they're all just. actors almost in a not actors but. they're all just kind of pieces of this. apparatus dude right it's also 1.6. billion people so as much as we go make. it it's like how what kind of parent. would you be yeah if you got to put you. got to lay the law - but Brian was. telling me this thing where they you. don't have to there's no real regulation. there so people will build high-rise.

yeah I saw some of those things without. without they don't tell anyone they just. own the property no like yeah we're. gonna build it and then if you don't. know the right person Brian was telling. me they they are they there was a place. that had there was a high-rise building. like a you know probably 100 units. whatever they but they didn't talk to. the right people so the government said. hey residents go to a spa this weekend. but we're gonna put you up out of this.

place you got it you got to leave the. building for the weekend we're gonna do. some repairs they knock the [ __ ] down. with all their [ __ ] in it no they just. the people the people who bought the. apartments didn't know that the [ __ ]. landlord didn't clear it so all their. shit's gone and there's nobody to talk. to right that's crazy that's crazy yeah.

so so it's almost like but then the and. there's cameras everywhere everywhere. dude I don't know if you noticed they. have [ __ ] everywhere on the street. but there's no crime there's very little. crime so it's almost like there's 10. human rights there's 10 like human right. we'll come human rights and every. country goes alright we're gonna pick. five of them mmm cuz here there's not. cameras everywhere. you're not like you get your face scan.

when you go to China yeah so they could. they if they thought I was a problem. they can just follow him they just do. the thing where's the face the face is. here the phase they can track me that's. right so here you're not tracked. basically other than Google and Facebook. the government's not track is Dateline. of course if you're really about your. [ __ ] Dave and here you're not tracked. but there's you might get shot at. Walmart yeah so it's like 50/50 yes it's.

like which which which which human. rights do you want which which qualities. of life do you want it's a great man. this is a it's a it's a great uh you. know when you put something next to. something else yeah it was really. interesting like I found it [ __ ]. fascinating like Wow because you don't. feel as much like a human over there you. don't feel as much like an individual at. all and they don't seem like individuals. that was one thing I noticed a lot of. the Chinese people they didn't seem like.

as much individuals everybody almost. seemed like okay this is where I'm. supposed to be right now this is where. I'm going it seemed like and I'm not. saying that that's a vol so a value. system like their society has never been. by the way Americans that wasn't a. individualism wasn't a thing until like. a hundred years ago cuz it's good for. capitalism yeah my good you're gonna. express yourself and your guy sell [ __ ]. all the [ __ ] merch and jackin you got. everyone's got their merch table it's. like in the world and in American.

society so they're they don't even value. like now we're about family and. togetherness so that's the it's another. thing where like you get to be an. individual but then you end up that guy. at like cost you walking around just. feeling uncomfortable because you're not. in a tribe but you are you are an. individual yeah there you go man what. you this is what you wanted your sisters. happy as [ __ ] yeah yeah living by the.

interstate with a bunch of kids as she. [ __ ] loves her kids and it's great. yeah like so it's just a it's and. there's a doubt there's a downside to. everything yeah and that's the downside. to to be in here is that you just feel a. little disaffected yeah the way we build. things it's uh it's yeah it's a little. bit more commercial to a bit more. individual you need to stand for this. you need to do this. look how [ __ ] alone you are there. later then they sell you all the books. how to be on alone it's like Jesus.

Christ is all this yeah about the. movement what about them oh yeah no that. too but also now this yeah now this now. we sold you this we have another pant we. have another program we want to sell you. which is undoing the first program but. that really is as much as it's a joke. like that you feel alienated oh it's. exactly it's yeah yeah I found in China. and I was also shocked in Shanghai when. I was there how many how few European.

and Americans were there I didn't see. very many no it's that's when I told. somebody it's not only do they not speak. English it's like they never heard of it. yeah like they don't what what I mean I. had a guy you get in cabs and they don't. speak a [ __ ] word of the word of the. words you speak they don't know any of. them I had a guy you would love this so. I get in it like it kind of cab where.

the guys like 1 100 which is like 8. bucks. he's like 1 and I was like all right. cool like kind of a chubby like 30 year. old Chinese dude it was gratifying cuz. you just go these Chinese and you know. you're right where is he he's agent. everybody write Chinese for all agents. and now you're racist yeah but they're. you just guys some Chinese guys right. but uh but uh so I get like it so he. takes me to my hotel and he goes uh to.

and I go oh like all right [ __ ]. I say we were going see the upset yeah. he goes uh I charge you double he like. literally heard that in a movie I charge. you double like he he just turned on. like a kid like a [ __ ] evil character. so I'm like I'd like I almost wanted to. record I'm saying it again like so I. give him two and he goes ok it's cool. man it's cool like he just was taking. things he'd seen in movies and just.

played them back-to-back. that was awesome but he didn't speak any. that's the English he spoke was from. that's great. yeah was I charge you double and it's. cool [ __ ] we Zaza yeah that's what he. that's what he knew so I enjoyed it in. that it was a it was a Ella straight. Avadh American context right it put. American life in context which I.

appreciate it now do you think it's I. found it interesting like here it's like. everybody come here you everybody's. welcome here your Everett but then they. are it's not like they're like you can't. just stay there easily and just it's not. like I don't know if that's true though. I don't uh I have a ten-year reason do. you really yeah you're gonna buy for a. 10-year visa they can eat you can either. do like a six-month one and people like. just get a ten-year one like that and. they uh they've just said that it's. extremely hard but you'd always shocked.

it just how few anyone outside of. Chinese people I saw they're white black. no yeah there's Manos Mexicans yeah. there were no they just wear how people. it's people don't want to go people. don't want to go to [ __ ] China it's. not a tourist spot a little bit but I'm. not I'm not dying to go back I will but. I'm not well and now Hong Kong's [ __ ]. up to the fighting I did a show in Hong.

Kong like then not like during and I it. was like my buddy sent me a video. walking home after the show like through. a [ __ ] zone of bricks and chaos like. it's [ __ ] up there yeah and and I. didn't realize like they're fighting for. their there basically a democratic. government and China is going like no. not anymore so people's lives are gonna. be [ __ ] up they're gonna they're gonna. be in that system we're like no you're. going to jail and there's no will let.

yeah when if if we get around to it. that's gonna get itchy yeah that's what. they're fighting for like and I get that. like now that I've seen how [ __ ] is or. my understanding of how [ __ ] is in China. I'm like yeah I would fight I'd throw. Molotov cocktails - yeah cuz it's what's. the alternatives worse like. significantly worse yeah of not ever. fear not feeling. human yeah I started to feel like people. there that at a certain number of people. you start to realize that things seem. very much like ants almost yeah yeah but.

at that number that it is like ants just. watching everybody like even when I was. on the trains. yeah the zone and you see somebody built. something no [ __ ] Windows never put a. roof on it [ __ ] disappeared yeah like. what yeah what happened there yeah I. mean after [ __ ] next do it like did you. go to Hong Kong insane zoning nah I it's. there are 70 storey buildings this far. from each other yeah like there's just a. walkway between them you know like this.

is you could it this is [ __ ] crazy. and China I'm sure it's worse like I. didn't really walk her I walked around a. little bit it it actually might it. looked like have you been in Saudi. Arabia yes it looked like it felt like. I've never been to Saudi Arabia but. those like four lanes both ways oh yeah. yeah I was like sad kind of Vegas II. like Las Vegas Boulevard there was a lot. of that in Shenzhen yeah and yeah. there's a lot of that when you're on the. train you just see stuff it's like oh.

did somebody start something here it. never happened small like little towns. it just tons of building but no windows. nobody live in there yeah like oh okay. so maybe they are yeah you don't know. they could be living there just not. great yeah yeah they're not having a. great or maybe they're your sister yeah. Chinese version your sister where. they're living there and they're having. a blast I couldn't tell how happy people. were there that's one thing I couldn't. tell and that's one problem I've always. had with a lot of Asian cult people. really if I'm real honest but like I.

just can't. it's hard for me to read their vibes. because I don't really I didn't I don't. have enough of an experience and being. around a lot of Asian people to know if. they are like happy or unhappy I also. think it's the the value thing that what. is is that even a unless you're saying. is that even thinking about that yeah is. that even a concern like is Bobbili. happy that's a good question I don't. know it could be a documentary is Bobby. Lee happy gets enough rest to be happy. that's for sure dude I mean you talk. about doing I mean all he does is play.

video games and sleep probably his car. you see many hits and Ripley's [ __ ]. Cup though. he hid Sam's car graduated because he. plays of candy crush on a tablet while. he drives which is in and his car has so. many dings and it's been so many acts. but one day ya hit his Tebow's his car. in the back part got out of the car well. it was still in Drive that's how it hits. Sam's car we may have the video still. yeah he what the car was in Drive and he.

just like had his foot on the brake and. he stepped out of his vehicle and did he. watch it hit the car or did he try to. get back in mm-hmm I don't know his. whole body feels like an ass cheek I. realized the other day at but you're. absolutely right it's shaped like it is. shaped like some smooth ass cheek yeah. the front and the back oh yeah. yeah he's got like he goes it it does. this on the front and he always says. he's Korean I'm like who [ __ ] cares.

bro can you back it up this was after. the aftermath.

like how he said he'll pay for it like. it's like I'm gonna go I'm a magnanimous. person I'll pay for it like no yeah of. course you're gonna pay for it. that's hilarious yeah yeah like that is. it is there's a there's a stereotype but. like there does seem to be a stoicism to. Asian people generally like but it's not. I don't think that that's I think that. they're especially if their parents were.

immigrants or their second generation. it's that they just it's like they're. here to achieve right and improve their. lives and like emotion and I don't care. that's not a concern. yeah motions oh wonderful motions more. of a white thing. maybe I mean it's it's yeah it's a I. also think like as much as your I think. it's okay I think some sensitive than.

others right you're a sensitive guy I'm. a sensitive person yeah I think that. there are sensitive it I think Bobby's. sensitive too but he just doesn't he. just is like doesn't shoving it and. punching it and like just like I think. it's okay to be sensitive yeah it's it. is uh yeah it's an elective it's a it's. a it's a luxury item for certain people. but I don't think that I think you've. been sensitive since you were dead broke. yeah yeah and it probably felt that and.

you thought it was because of that and. it's like no you're just like that yeah. yeah that's a good point to just. realizing some of that some things are. just position like you said if you're. like me you like to smell nice and well. and healthy sometime maybe you'll get a. put a pimp pimp em permit pepper mint in. your mouth and then tape it to your back. of your shirt collar and on the inside. get that natural law pheromone that.

minty pheromone that Farah meant. smelling good is very important that's. what I'm trying to say and what I'm also. trying to say is Hawthorne has a new way. to help you smell really good Hawthorne. Cologne is very unique in that it has a. quiz on their website. you can take it or have a loved one take. it and it will help you figure out which. scent is right for you and your style. you don't you don't want to leave the. house wearing barbecue if you're going. to a funeral but you don't want to leave.

the house wearing a embalming fluid if. you're going to a family picnic so let. the Hawthorne Cologne quiz help you out. it's a two-minute quiz and Hawthorne. tells you the two colognes that are best. for you one for work and one for play. it's risk free with free shipping and. free returns check out Hawthorne at. Hawthorne dot-com that's Hawthorne with. an e eh aw th ou are in e.com and use my.

promo code Theo to get 10% off your. first purchase quit deciding what you. smell like let the specialists help. Hawthorn Cologne Hawthorne with an e. dot-com with promo code Theo for 10% off. and now back to the episode yeah you. think that you're having an old dad what. do you think that how do you think that.

affected you I think it made me a lot of. shame and I really look back at it a. little bit in some way sometime I think. genetically like do I have real old. genes you know yeah like if I rest or if. I'll be real you know if I'll lay down. and like kind of make a name may say. something real loud or like you know. talk about God or something and lean. back in my chair or something like that. like my dad used to do that kind of. stuff if um yeah I wonder if my genes.

are just real old you know I'm not gonna. agree you know I'm not bad at sex but. I've never really been like a real I'm. kind of like the indiana pacers of sex. you can go on and so it's like yeah I. can't make the playoffs appetize yeah. but it's not you're not going deep in. the playoffs yeah. you're not going past the first round. Reggie Miller left hasn't been yeah and. even then we were just shooting three. beers a boring slow pace yeah yeah. getting up and down the court yeah.

hopefully. white audience but now you have a you do. have interesting sex habits right yeah I. just for me I think it's all a lot of it. just is always felt like a little bit. uncomfortable I kind of have that. perversion that came from like watching. a lot of pornography and then just just. the interaction this the connection. sometimes has always felt like I don't. like having a woman sleep over like some. of those things make me extremely. nervous like just well sometimes I mean. it's you know what the it's a real. obvious thing to say but it's it's real. intimate yeah it is it's real I mean.

even if you're just talking about like. their face is right there yeah like. yours [ __ ] faces to [ __ ] like we're. both here especially if you're not drunk. oh yeah it's really like Nikki Glaser's. been doing a whole thing about having. sober sex and it's like it's for. children it's over sex is for children. I've always thought that you can't walk. sober bruh be young you know and oh yeah. it can't be 11 bro by the way I this is.

I got to an argument on line last week. do you know that there's no minimum age. for sex to eight-year-olds can legally. have sex Wow and that crazy it gets into. illegal legally stuff starts happening. when you turn 16 then you actually can't. then you have to start being responsible. then you can't [ __ ] and nine year old. can legally [ __ ] a six year old Wow if. they're both consenting right [ __ ].

mind blowing but once you turn 16 then. you then you have like it you have a. license basically and you can't you you. can't go below 16 or you can go bull out. you can go three years below yeah yeah. that was a big thing when I was growing. up like seeing if somebody's 3 years old. or 3 years younger you'd always hear. things and people date and uh yeah you. always had that dude that would pull. over by the middle school and he drove. already and he'd come back and see his. [ __ ] girlfriend him handsome. McDonald's over the fence uh-huh dude.

this one guy [ __ ] ham is some fat he. drove like this banana yellow Cutlass. and he painted some [ __ ] McDonald's. over the fence to his girlfriend it was. easily about 13 years yeah how did she. look. what she could look like what she is. they're sure she was thick. yeah they misplace that for age a lot of. times in rural communities you know. yeah like damn she is like I don't like. farming yeah you know man like she's of. eight she's Jenny she's Rhett she's.

ready yeah it's like there's grads she's. of cat she's not a calf anymore yeah so. let's let's go yeah let's play ball. let's get a [ __ ] family pack of runts. and [ __ ] yeah so so yeah that's the but. this dude floored at one time he's. trying to show off in his whole. catalytic converter just fell off the. bottom of his car and I just remember. being you know about cars absolutely. hilarious not that much I know about. catalytic converters and I know about. pouring like a little bit of gas up. there in the carburetor if that [ __ ].

won't start is that is that old trick. yeah and I'll I liked cars better when. it was just like the engine and the. motor you know I don't know the. difference I don't know if I do either. but I think one of the transmission you. lift up the hood there was two pieces. there in that air filter thing there was. the crank yeah cuz you're from a 1940. and you'd spray wd-40 in that [ __ ] air. filter and let that [ __ ] I don't know. [ __ ] like that's where I don't feel like. a man it's when car stuff having them.

like I I don't know well now you drive a. [ __ ] now I don't need to know yeah he. driving a lot of muscle yeah I just. place her plug her in y'all got a outlet. that's way but that is nice is it just. well yeah just go like I don't need to. know I just I only go to the gas station. that wiped up for the wipers yeah. [ __ ] great and it's well yeah I guess. feeling emotional and also then feeling. I guess feeling like emotional about. [ __ ] are talking about that kind of. stuff but then also feeling like a you. can still feel like a man you like I.

still do like you know I'll do like. insane [ __ ] at the gym and do insane. training and I'll [ __ ] probably. endanger myself a pretty good amount of. time you know I do you work out so yeah. I just started getting a trainer really. getting pretty much into it I'm trying. to start taking some Brazilian jiu-jitsu. yeah so yeah just to have like a it just. seems so cool just seems like a. just to have another circle of. camaraderie really yeah I it's also. boxing I did like Thai boxing and.

Thailand one times like this is fun I. could see the hyphenation. he's got that physique doesn't he yeah. throwing combinations yeah like that's. [ __ ] fun bing bang bang duck ha. it's [ __ ] fun yeah and it's being. able to know that if somebody attacks me. and they don't know Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. that I would know enough couple of. tricks to be able to now the hard part. is not doing it all the time in. conversation oh right that's the fists. are like bro today. yeah thing today yeah any [ __ ] now.

I'm not no disrespect to Bryan Callen. yeah the second thing he put somebody. yeah like no I could see the thing with. me you don't want to be one it's like. when you start working out and you. you're flexing for people yeah oh yeah. but you're not you're not kidding. yes some girl right with you touch your. arm you flex right before yep. oh absolutely that's yet so I'm glad.

that you and thank you for not posting. workout videos oh yeah you bet I try not. to but ever since Chris D'Elia does some. without thinking about [ __ ] throwing. one up we can't fall for it. I feel like Kevin Hart started this oh. did he really does he do yeah he started. he would he shows well he doesn't a lot. of training videos. does he have writers probably for his. jokes and stuff now Kevin he has the. guys who opened for him the red plastic. cup boys but they don't it's all based. on [ __ ] that happened to him so it's not. I don't think he has writers really I.

think he maybe they go maybe like a tag. here and there yeah but he doesn't have. writers as far as I know he is people. that he's with though yeah how are you. doing are you did you figure out how. you're gonna do your special I'm not. sure yet still not sure well we have any. offers really that I feel like her you. know that I feel like her the move. really part of me thinks about shooting. it and just putting clips out onto. YouTube like you know just putting the.

stories out on YouTube and putting out a. CD you know an album just owning it yeah. and then. but then possibly doing Netflix they're. gonna come out in December mmm. so your tendency Mia and um so I think. you know they might there might be an. offer after that it's just also a time. schedule when they have room yeah they. said it might not be until the 2021 so. then that makes me think well at that. point I might as well just put some. clips or something like I want to have. some fresh stuff out there and also for. me to just and my brain to start to move.

on yeah cuz I'm already building like a. new hour it does get kind of tough doing. some of the same stuff like jokes kind. of have like a point where they're like. at their peak you know it's fun Chapelle. you say jokes are like tires hmm where. it's like just the treads wear out yeah. and he's right because when you first. it's that disappointing thing when you. have a good new joke that first two. weeks that [ __ ] is [ __ ] popping. mm-hmm [ __ ] like vain the audience.

knows it's new yeah it's like having. money at the mall oh it's the best the. new joke I would say it's like finding. money a pie it's like and then and then. after two weeks it'll settle yeah it'll. just go to like alright this is what. this is gonna get now from here on out. and then after a while it goes down. another level and it's to your point. getting shooting a joke at the right. time filming it at the right time is. like you don't want to wait too long.

yeah because something about it even if. they haven't heard it it just doesn't. have the the [ __ ] energy yeah that's. kind of what I'm realizing. - it's like and a lot of this just. learning as you go it's like that's the. tough part it's like man I wish some all. this stuff I already knew it but you. know but that's my experience and it's. just you know and all you also shoot it. now and you know the great thing is if. you're already writing a new hour the. good that you have a you there's a.

hundred cities now where you could sell. out right that's a thing - it's hard to. stop it's hard to stop going to cities. whenever you have an hour that people. haven't seen yeah because it's segura I. feel like has toured this hour for so. long and it's it's legitimately because. they they're cities he hasn't gone -. yeah and he's. probably tired it daliyah said he threw. out like 40 minutes on this tour because. he was doing the tour so long that he. wrote new jokes and just replaced the.

other ones yeah so he could have gone. back to some of the cities with a new. hour on the same tour yeah that's where. I'm at I'm feeling like well shoot do I. just keep adding places because I've. been touring the same stuff for almost a. year and a half I mean it's definitely. evolved and changed but and there's new. stuff now I could put in but I'm like I. don't know what to do do I to start. putting in new start and save it if I. were you I'd save it and just start a. new to it because it seems like Bert did. that Bert's got it Bert's just finished. one tour he's starting another one yeah. I would if you have a new more time [ __ ].

it like when you have new [ __ ] that's. not topical or like it's not about some. [ __ ] that's happening now it's it's just. a story or [ __ ] it yeah like and then. just work on that on the during the week. and then on weekends do that. do you like the tour show yeah yeah it's. I think I think that's a I think also. yeah this show got tough to us trusting. my instincts and no one liked what was. the right thing to do and like you know.

different things were coming in and I'm. like is this right I don't know what to. do you know yeah just a lot of fear this. year I think it made everything tough it. made it like I was all ready to kind of. shoot my special at Christmas and then. next thing you know it was like oh. there's a bunch more city you can go to. and you can you know and you can make. money and then it was like nervous. making money I felt like what do I do. what do you do with money not that much. really you know I do post maybe you. don't have to do anything that's the. thing people think you got to do. something with it you don't yeah we. haven't done anything yeah I mean I've.

done post I do post makes more yeah yeah. you [ __ ] you order this [ __ ] out oh. dude I'll get these tacos twice a week. probably and then what else yeah I. probably not that much honestly I don't. like going to shop for stuff and I don't. like doing that kind of stuff I don't. either. I don't like like stuff it just doesn't. mean that much to me like I don't like. people take pictures of their shoes and. just like yeah I catered I don't know it. just doesn't I don't it doesn't move me. yeah it doesn't move me so I don't know. good like you probably won't be broke.

yeah pay my mom's rent now and that's. gotta feel awesome it's nice to know she. don't have to worry she works hard she's. like 77 or something and she's still. like you know deliver stuff and um yeah. it is nice to know that she can take the. day off for something she wants to and. you have to [ __ ] think about paying. something that's gotta be it's pretty uh. that's god that's like gotta feel. outstanding. yeah it's not really about it yeah what.

I how's the relationship talk about it I. never I've always had a tough time. hearing my mother you know I felt like I. don't know I just have always had a look. like uh I think you know sometimes I. think the reason I do comedies because I. wanted my mom to laugh or something I. was young and I couldn't get her to. laugh yeah and so I it like spun out. into this weird thing where that's what. I was doing you know because I remember. my dad laughing all the time but I never.

met I've added you yeah just in general. yeah just laughing just having a good. time having a good - haven't you having. a good time yeah and then I don't. remember my mother having that at all. and I think there was always like this. stress that she was stressed and I. couldn't do anything. you know just yeah I think that's the. the the I've seen study a lot of. comedians is about making your mom laugh. yeah that's a big one as much as it's. like weird sad clowns and all that stuff. it's a lot of it's sad children children.

of sad moms yeah honestly a lot of times. that's the formula for comedians. that should be a club yeah children. would sama my mom's not sad my mom is uh. I always felt like there's like. plexiglass between us mmm like ah like I. want a [ __ ] more of a connection and. we just can't get there yeah like we. just can't it just doesn't that's not.

she doesn't know how to do it yeah she's. a good mom yeah it's like did the you. know like like attentive and all that. stuff just emotionally and that's that. that's another generational thing where. my mom's 85 so yeah like. I don't she doesn't know them like. emotion the [ __ ] are you talking about. yeah yeah we can't really think about. that kind of more than 19 she born. during the Great Depression yeah. 1933 like I don't forget imagine she was. three Wow like she got split up like one.

of her sisters went to Ireland and then. they couldn't pick her up because of the. war yeah yeah what we're not coming this. week does you have a Hitler can you. imagine that though all the time. especially on top mr. ug see all these. families just got split up yeah were. kids we couldn't afford it the. orphanages - yeah it's like like my. mom's mom died and then she had two. sisters maybe three and each uncle took.

a different one or each aunt took a. different one but meanwhile the dad was. still alive they just were like yeah. yeah we're not leave not gonna dad. that's insane yeah this is the hill. they'll be dead in a week. and even with a guy so they went to the. aunts and then the dad was like I'm. getting ready and I was like mom how. long did he need to get ready for and it. he never really got it together Wow. yeah and then he remarried like his mate.

just crazy [ __ ] 30s and 40s it but so. and then I'm like where's the feeling. but why is there blessing because the. [ __ ] Hitler and the Great Depression. that's why you [ __ ] shy yeah that's a. royal brat that's what I realized a lot. of times to men and I think about that. too about myself man I'm just a [ __ ]. brat like yeah at some point it's like. [ __ ] I also have to realize look dude.

you have to just [ __ ] take care of. yourself you have to find a way to do it. you can't think at a certain point you. can't think about all this [ __ ] too much. it's a / - life's a plan of a program of. action you got to take action and get. yourself feeling good you got to get. yourself doing something you have to. just get going you know yeah it's crazy. to think sometimes that yeah our parents. who probably had no whose parents to. them probably didn't teach them much. about emotions or anything at all the. Rockefeller. probably had emotions brah they were.

[ __ ] all out of their minds - yeah. they'd like the Rockefellers doing like. no the Rockefellers parent John Rocker. Bella's dad was probably a [ __ ] coal. miner yeah there wasn't well you know I. mean like they there wasn't like crazy. like three people were rich yeah. everybody else [ __ ] lived in. Appalachia yeah I mean not literally but. like there was no like well there was a. robust middle-class no life was [ __ ].

brutally everyone [ __ ] in an outhouse. like even if you were there there's this. book called sapiens it's really good but. they were so the guy was saying like. there were French French like the king. of we live better than the King of. France from 1700 Wow Wow. King of France 17-under shat out side. damn know in didn't have he had somebody. to carry it out there for me ya know. Pete had hell he ain't goin by him by. himself but like he didn't have a [ __ ].

there was no indoor heat no indoor air. game there's no he no car no like. nothing. so no ice no ice Theo so so we have it. good but at the same time it's not. perfect yeah. damn yeah you'd have somebody whose body. timbers was a little Lotus blow on you. all that yeah just bring in the cool and. hey and he would blow on it yeah like we.

don't we it's hard. put problems or problems problems or. relics right no as much as you are like. as much as its if they were alive today. they'd have the same problems we have. yeah. which is I don't feel quite right I. don't feel I feel isolated feeling. alienated I feel emotionally I feel. whatever all the things that we deal. with that's our version of shooting. outside yeah yeah it's our version of. sitting outside in the product but that. but then the the part that we can. control is how do we what do we do about.

it yeah taking action or not taking. action yeah and I think yeah for me this. show just got caught in a place where I. was in everything else was too much and. I wasn't able to focus on that at all. and so now I'm like a. get back to focusing on it and it's. definitely getting more manageable Nikki. had something bout donkeys I have to. text my sponsor real quick or he's gonna. [ __ ] yeah we had it we had a couple. news stories one you guys talked about. China a lot the world's donkey. population is set to be halved in the. next five years because it's a good.

traditional Chinese medicine that is. being used. it's estimated that four point eight. million donkey hides a year are used for. a gelatin based medicine that the. Chinese use well the thing that I don't. know if it was in the news here they're. also harvesting organs over there in. China yeah well you'd have to at a. certain point I mean anything becomes. like a everything becomes a food you. know here we call it a dead or not. eating them they're prisoners they're. killing prisoners and taking their.

organs you don't have to do what via. what video okay this is song no I'm. serious yeah there you go. harvesting organs China Resort. horizontal dress oh but dude for. transplant look here's what I say if the. guys in for life take his [ __ ] liver. bruh and give it to somebody who can use. it man I think we could get a lot more. out of our prisoners sometimes that. we're under using them that's a great. resource that we're not yeah the guys in.

there with two Long's and somebody you. know we got somebody's gonna die a. cystic fibrosis [ __ ] pull the airbag. out of that cat and throw them into. somebody who can use it and you're. willing to go on the right this is this. is gonna be your platform for running. for mayor sorry uh uh hold on one second. that's fine yeah no they're harvesting. organs it's not great despite wouldn't. the oh thanks well I'm not saying. everybody gets an organ I'm saying that. you know you believe that rich people.

should get them first because that's but. I know that what's happening but sister. got a liver and uh and it was definitely. at a certain point we're like Oh what do. you mean this person somebody else is. getting in before yeah yeah but that's. it's cool that they're kind of they kind. of it doesn't matter how rich you are. you can't the donor the list is the list. this is a list and you can't how did. your city is did it take you. it took she got him she's like 14 and. she's got that yeah just take.

anti-rejection medicine because your. body's always like this thing is in. yours you know what's funny that's. almost like what a a is for you like you. have to take your anti-rejection. medicine yeah like you have to like your. body's like this in right yeah I don't. like it yeah you're like no body we have. to go that's what I remember going I. used to go to Al Anam which was like for. not drinking it's for being in. relationships with alcoholics and drug. addicts yeah and and you yeah I'll call.

this um so bad there's two programs for. it has a program for if you just know. people who do who are it they but that's. I realize like no I got to do this all. the time you have to do this I have I. can't this is a chronic set of behavior. on my part like from from my dad's an. alcoholic so just you build your brain. in a certain way and you have to undo it.

yeah yeah it is it is it's a daily thing. it really is man it's like I know if I. get up and do my meditation and I do my. gratitude list and I call other guys. that or have the same problem then I. will have a better chance of having a. better day mm-hm. do you call people every day getting up. and thinking about myself yeah I call. people every day the other - I've. struggled with but now I'm getting a lot. back I've been really just focusing on. it really especially the past maybe. month trying to get back into you when. you didn't feel grateful did you not do.

a gratitude list or you would just write. like [ __ ] just stare at the paper. somedays yeah well just couldn't feel it. I would write it but I couldn't. yeah yeah and that was the worst man. yeah god I want to feel grateful and I. just and then just travelling a lot. doing the shows and stuff it was just. hard. just getting on and off of planes and. waking up here there and not knowing. what was going on had being halfway. through a sense sometimes like I'm so. happy to be here in and thinking in my. head what city is this yeah [ __ ]. alarming they're hard but that has to do.

with just wear and tear like that if you. don't know what city it's hard to. remember. when you're you look at the schedule and. you like I'm going there then I'm going. there then we go there and you're like I. don't even know what week it is time you. ever have the thing where you don't know. what period of your life you're in you. ever have that like where you'll be like. did I have I started podcasting yet. where you'll be on the 405 or them. you'll be just drivin and you'll be like.

where I have it sometimes where I'll go. to a city I'll be like have I done it. what period of my life of my in yeah my. 28th mi-28 I'm 40 what like alright did. I do that yet am i comedian yet or did I. still am I still not a committee I don't. know. the you have a gratitude thing is it's. hard that I do you travel well I travel. pretty well but then yeah this year did.

everything just got a little bit too. much it just was oh it just got to be. too much but air travel [ __ ] me up. oh yeah it's bad man it's really tough. on your body and it's tough on you over. a while too yeah you know I've been. doing it for 15 years traveling doing. touring so it's like and this year was. just the most it's been and it was just. and it was just it kind of caught up to. me and I started taking on one thing. that was the worst for me this year I. didn't realize was I took propecia ah. dude I wanted to kill myself for like a.

month. and I had never felt that way in my. entire life and it was because of that. bro I had no idea and I got off of that. bro and everything started to get better. that's crazy it was I don't think we. that's the thing about that they talk a. lot about the pill and how it [ __ ] up. women's bodies and it absolutely does. but that people don't talk about. propecia very much as like this thing. guys do that's purely for to look good.

yeah and it [ __ ] people up like it. [ __ ] if there are ways in which. propecia [ __ ] people up I've never. taken it but I like hearing that I'm not. I've heard that [ __ ] before or you have. erectile dysfunction or you there's just. a bunch of problems yeah just trying to. hold on to your hair. yeah yeah and then what they say is even. with the erectile dysfunction so what it. messes up is your libido so that's why. the side effect of that is your erection.

right but for in some people but when it. mess up your libido for me it just. messed up that massive whatever. masculine energy whatever we bet I had. left you know if I could just crippled. it so dude it was just like bro I had. some of the scare I had never felt and. so I threw that in this year and it was. just like man it was just fog brah. it was just that [ __ ] was tough and I'm. so glad I realized after minoxidil makes. a pill that's a less dose and they also.

say you can take half of a propecia and. this won't happen but but minoxidil. makes a pill as well and I mean now I. take that and I don't have any side. effects yeah great yeah yeah that's. significant yeah it was so scary because. then it was just at the time I'm like. [ __ ] is I am I just completely fall. apart yeah and no you were just trying. to hold on to your hair and hold on to. my hair man that's all it's simple guy. that simple man that might be the name.

of this episode um I gotta go meet my. sponsor man yeah of course thank you so. much I love talking about yeah me too. man and I really like really really. happy for you and it's cool I'm happy. like you were [ __ ] hilarious dude. thanks man and and I'm happy that you're. that people realize it thanks man. yeah man well appreciated I appreciate. coming on and yeah I love how you always. have new material and you're a hard.

worker man I really admire that about. you yeah thank you yeah all right god. bless. [Music]. like these leaves I must be oh but when. I reach that round I'll share this piece. of my I can feel it in my throat it's. gonna take. little time for me to sell that parking.

brake. Oh. [Music]. [Music]. [Music].