Neal Brennan 2 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #279

Oh today's episode is brought to you by. great block pizza and this is a pizzeria. that has oh just just pizza and things. that are gonna really make you feel good. inside of your mouth and body great. block pizza get that hitter. today's guest is making his second. appearance on this past weekend he is. the co-creator of the Chappelle show and. he has some specials on Comedy Central. ladies and gentlemen mr. Neal Brennan.

[Applause]. [Music]. [Music]. but thanks man I just went oh you know. what happened I went to the pool the. other day dude you went to a hotel. called the hotel said hey can I go out.

to the pool guy said yeah you can it was. like a gay guy and so I think out of the. gate it was like you know I don't sound. like that sound like like you know what. do you like with the phone I like come. on over that's really what it was like. so you know he was like yeah come on. over you know and uh and then what hotel. can you say yeah mr. C's hotel in. Beverly Hills and I called I went over.

there was the only person at the pool. where's mr. C's hotel that's a guy's. house I don't know this is a hotel man I. went with my ex-girlfriend and we sat. out there and just caught some Sun and. here was the interesting thing though. there's no smog in the air so the Sun is. interesting it's direct. yeah it's getting people yeah and you. also have you have good skin you're tan. you tan yeah yeah I'm okay with that I. can I can handle Sun some people you. know handle yeah you seem like yeah I.

can't you're a slave like if Sun sees. you it's like oh yeah we're bidding on. this guy get him yeah yeah like they're. that [ __ ] hey put him on the. boat let's go. yeah not crazy every time you leave your. house it's got to be like that I yeah. yeah yeah it's not that bad my dad you. see get again 10th might had 10 kids mmm. angry yeah you know violent all that all.

the [ __ ] Irish have a fight the Sun come. he grew up the one of 13 kids born in. the depression like crazy he used to. know heartbeat I mean it it's he had. such bad skin that we would he we would. drop like we took it. we we took a vacation in California one. time and it's like seven of us in a. station wagon going to like Lompoc yeah. I just did whatever and my cousins are.

in Lompoc you know that everybody saw. that coming. Neel parents definitely got positive. cousins in Long hug so my dad the first. day got such bad sunburn on his hands. that it bubbled up from the state bubble. yes through the window on this yeah and. I even remember I was like eight going. like you weigh how much were you driving. like how the [ __ ] did that happen bubble. up to the second day he wore black.

gloves like a murderer driving with. black gloves on with like eight children. furious the whole time why do I see this. suddenly being a papillote hoon do you. see that Nick I suddenly see this be. right one of the anime trick I like it. yeah can you imagine the fatherhood you. have to have in you just the virility. you have to have first of all to have. ten kids then to sit there and hold on.

to a steering wheel while your skin is. bubbling bubbling just to take your ten. kids to go see more fam Lompoc yeah to. get to go to solving yeah look at the. windmills and solving yeah it was a I. don't know what made it work I mean I. don't know what the I mean it's [ __ ]. crazy but the fact that he cuz then. later I went to the Caribbean oh my god.

2005 if you can believe it and when you. somehow my feet my feet got sunburned oh. yeah the top of my feet and then I had. the bubbles oh and dude Ike you can't if. anyone's ever had blisters on the top of. their feet if I wouldn't rule it out for. you look like maybe oh you're done. you can't [ __ ] you can barely walk. like you don't have honor the the the. ecosystem of your foot is so delicate. yeah like a bubble on you you're almost.

immobile it was [ __ ]. even know it was like from 10 minutes in. the ocean but it's usually not that bad. for me like I used to caddy but do you. have to think about it when you leave. home like I feel like you know if you. look at neighborhoods you have to think. like oh these people yeah look up for. this you know ants or something you know. hey yeah that's what you might do you. you meant ants first you know like if. you live like a you know like when I was. young you know the ants was always like.

Oh are there ants out there yeah but do. you have to look do you have to think. about that like [ __ ] man. no if I'm going to the out there I'll. I'll think about if I like I live in. Venice then some time something goes. like let's take a walk my goodness yeah. and I'll be like we got to take a walk. all right. like if it's on the on the beach I'll be. like listen let's talk about routes. yeah I'm to like flip off to Libya we. got to turn around I see you in the.

Caribbean going out to the beach at. night no I mean dude I it was wild. it was wild Turks and Caicos I got the. top of my feet got sunburned and I and I. like just putting a low on there Turks. and Caicos sound like a couple of Latino. hit men don't they the cutest Latinos. yeah you got that right little they're. at their mr. C's hotel this afternoon. yeah. did you drive over here in that Tesla. yeah man yes sure did did you get one. yet I didn't get one man but the new. ones I think are coming out with an.

American flag hanging off the back we. were talking about this yesterday man. and it was literally the funniest thing. and I talked about in a while just the. fact that well Elon Musk tweeted some. stuff what did he write Nick he wrote. the the quarantine is quarantine is. stupid and then he's on some like free. let me open up yeah he wouldn't open his. business in Redmond I think it is. Alameda County Redmond he said they were.

gonna have to arrest him he was just. gonna put his workers on the line yeah. he tweeted take the red pill yeah got a. lot of people it's he basically like all. the people who all the liberals who. bought a Tesla or now like what did I do. so [ __ ] funny cuz I love when anybody. gets [ __ ] over I don't get livid. [ __ ] hilarious it's kind of like when. hulk hogan started wearing that black. stuff everyone he started wearing the. black mustache right.

yeah i remember it and you're like what. is going on yes oh yeah that's so. bizarre yeah but you tweeted something. too about it didn't you it was so funny. man did you tweet something about it no. I mean I've tweeted like I'm on the side. of like scientists and stuff yeah that's. funny that's a lot on the right and all. the holy lawns like I got a lecture I. believe in electric the electric future. brother yeah America gasoline 'less.

again baby yeah it's all canceled. culture he's just been going in yeah. he's a basically just on some maggot. it's correct he's some piece dong zhuo's. podcast why he's like what the [ __ ] who. is this guy liberals are gonna have to. get now they're all stuck with the cars. and I don't think ours is you can't. lease them right yeah i you can i least. mine I didn't think you could but you. can't I thought you had done no I am I.

gonna get rid of this and just come and. take it stuck with this electric. American flag right um what do you been. doing man. what have I been doing um not much man. how often you hang out with your. ex-girlfriend we ain't got a pretty good. bit we turned it in like just really we. turned into like really good friends you. know she's she's pretty much like my. best friend do you think like well maybe. for Nick maybe Nick shocked to hear that.

but uh hell of a way to find out we talk. every three days I'd hate to meet his. enemies yeah we just well during. quarantine it's like you kind of I think. in the beginning like we hadn't been. talking for a while and then Gus. everybody got spooked you know yeah so I. was I know that she was kind of scared. and they got was scared so I was like. you know you just wanted to be around. people that you cared about if you could. be around anybody. were you scared cuz when.

we talked at the beginning you were like. [ __ ] better be real called me like. hey what is this you're like is this. real you know I didn't know and I didn't. know if maybe you knew something I. didn't know like you know probably my. mem know rich people like do you know it. yes Blake is like Griffin yeah like is. he how's he dealing with it ya know. they're they're all they're all good all. the rich people are abiding by it yeah I.

mean oh it's super comfortable I mean I. think this thing's been pretty. comfortable it's a ver that's a funny. way to go it's like this is a pretty. comfortable national sacrifice yeah if. you have money if you have some money. right if you've just got off the road. right a podcast if you have either a. savings or a thing you can do without it. right I agree it's a it's kind of a. vacation if ya if you're in the second. month of using the 1200 or stimulus.

check and you are like what the heck is. gonna happen next. yes and you're waiting on pins and. needles for the government to send. another check that's that's that's not. that's a different person's life yes. that is that is truly [ __ ] gotta be. horrifying and scary [ __ ] like our Tower. and I wonder how then like at that point. do you like do you feel like you would. batten down with like your wife and. family or do you think you'd be like I. got to get away from them you know like. they're the ones bringing me down yeah. well they they people were all saying.

that domestic violence is gonna go up it. but the stats I saw it didn't go up that. much went up like 5% I haven't seen. anything and there's always people. beating chicks in the park bar over by. where I live or by at Park Park Park. there's a card Westwood is a lot of. homeless people out there people they're. just you know not not home or just. aren't going home basically and they bar. serious fights it do you really oh yeah. you know what's funny about fights at. night is you know like you ever be like.

line a bit it's like 1:45 in the morning. and you'll hear like and you're like. well I hope that works out yeah like I'm. not getting involved into that I wish. him the best but I'm not calling I'm not. leaving bed and I'm not investigating in. the slightest yeah total opposite of. what I'm doing right you made your. choices here is it worse sometimes I'll. be like will you keep it look I don't. know what y'all are going through yeah I.

don't that is the funny thing we're just. like oh yeah good luck do you think. sometimes I feel like if this is like. our Vietnam this is like the softest. thing it's nothing but it's nothing for. us cuz just like Vietnam would have been. nothing right we're not in dry like. frontlines yeah like we would have been. you would have been I mean if we were. eight if we were 18 we'd probably be. gotten drafted. you probably got drafted for me really. yeah cuz I think they did like I would.

have been able to call or whatever you. had something like what keeper somebody. yeah yeah I would like my foot hurt or. something and they believed it look at. the sunburn I can't man you got y'all. better have some SPF yeah I'll go but. like how much how much sunscreen yeah. the I feel like southern people had to. go I'm sure I'm wrong about that but I. well I think you they were probably more. adamant about it it's like they'd be. like you don't have any arms and legs I. can do it sir yeah or yeah but I also.

feel like like I in to my mind. Vietnam was all like black Latino and. seven whites yeah in my head like that I. don't even know that's true I'm sure. what did you get into Iowa Pennsylvania. yes hon yeah that's where a lot of your. white service people come from my book. and then yeah I guess the South is well. what is this just casualties during. Vietnam but it doesn't split it up by it.

has all one side together so US has. lumped it with people but there were 1.1. million deaths on that side but there. was also a draft right so that's what. I'm saying and a draft I think they. favored I'm sure like I went to college. you went to college yeah where'd you go. to college oh yeah I did. LSU I'm gonna tell us you yeah I went to. a couple different spots but I. definitely would tell us you trying to. find your groove what yeah I just wanted. to be on the move man I just seemed so. weird to be like we're. I'm in one place is it I feel like this.

is it. is it safe to describe your 20s as itchy. oh yeah oh yeah man I mean like what are. we here man everybody somebody's over. there I always had to go there was. always something yeah where else yes. Oh something's bugging out trying cuz I. don't know do you talk about your 20s. much on here. I mean honestly dude it's hard for me to. remember some of it you know because of. drugs alcohol mm-hmm I think just. because a time like it's just hard to. like yeah like our lives are so.

interesting now like I mean I remember. in my 20s you know like I'd done reality. television and then I moved and then I. traveled around a bunch to different. schools and then I went on semester at. sea it was like a school on a cruise. ship and so with that forward TV no that. was just like he's a student got it so. it just after the reality thing yeah a. couple years after I just got a job in. the bookstore on this cruise ship and we. went everywhere we went to Vietnam. actually and did you like being on the.

boat yeah it was pretty fun do you start. to become like Lord of the Flies on it's. called semester at sea you start to. become like in the beginning everybody's. kind of chilling you're like okay this. is what's up by the end by the end of. three months like you would be literally. sitting in class in a mayo bikini like. everybody like it was like everybody's. sunt and everybody like you'd be trading. like shoe polish for a little bit of. liquor at night like it was just oh yeah. it's the probably not a bar right but.

they had a bar but you if you want your. own liquor you can only have two wines. you could each get you could get two. wines so you could like you were a lot. two glasses of wine yeah did they and it. was drinking age was 21 drinking age I'm. not sure it must have been 18 I think. cuz you're out in the ocean because once. you get out in international waters it's. oh right maybe there is no drinking age. yeah I mean you do was yeah it was. really bizarre it was bizarre being on. there were you drink a lot oh yeah you. could drink and everything nobody was.

doing drugs or anything I didn't I. wasn't even doing drugs at that point in. my life I didn't even drink that much. but yeah every night people will go. drink play games and were you one of the. better-looking people. I've always been about 1/8 if I have Sun. on me I definitely look better because. if you get a tan it kind of makes your. nose look a little smaller and snug. you're very insecure about your nose you. have a badonkadonk yeah I got that. [ __ ] the face down I got that junk in. the front trunk. you know Brennan said I should wear a. thong on my nose sometimes I do hope one.

day my nose is in a little busi video. that's what I'm I uh but it was fun man. it was funny you we went to all these. countries we went in South Fidel Castro. speak in Cuba really yeah and was it. remarkable mmm a lot of mean if you knew. Spanish had definitely helped but it was. like a four-hour speech about how the. stuff that he did in Cuba like the. things he implemented like the positives. of it yeah so it was kind of uh what.

would you call that propaganda. propaganda yeah but was he a good. speaker or was it very good yes tall he. kind of had it was kind of like a little. bit of like a I don't want to say like. I'm Mexican Phil Jackson kind of but he. kind of had that you said it and it's. right yeah he kind of had that I Lindy. Phil Jackson kind of yeah I've you know. the suit and then some kid ran down. there and wanted to get his passport. signed by him and everybody who got all. excited and he was shot that was fun man.

yeah that's cuz I feel like you I was I. was at CVS yesterday and I thought about. you for some reason Thanks there was a. lot of they were just at what point were. you like a flip-flop person yeah yeah. alright cuz they were just flip-flopping. while I was like I feel like Theo was. probably this at some point maybe when. you're on the real world or the heard. those shows were you kind of that kind. of guy I don't remember really I mean I.

definitely remember in my twenties. minutes so it's so crazy a lot of that. part of my life just just those years. just kind of blur OTT I remember going. to like you know I went to different. colleges I went to Loyola you know it. was just yeah and your 20s I was more. like you know muscular kind of big hair. kind of guy just you know happy to be. alive. you know you're like a lot of erection. pills back then is that true oh yeah. yeah I had a lot of like social life.

sexual anxiety in my 20s and it was hard. to get him now you can get him anywhere. he'll we have some you know you know a. buddy of mine smelled NICs breath and. catch a boner now I mean you know I'm. just saying it like every everything in. here is probably sponsor balance what do. you mind reminded me of a story. yesterday where he he had he was in a. relationship he had Edie with the girl. cuz like he couldn't get over her ex and. then she got upset because of it like. she's like you don't think I'm. good-looking and so he went to an.

erection doctor first of all took the. bus to the to the erection doctor which. you don't just right there you've. already lost. well I can a bus I'll keep my dick down. for us yeah oh the erection doctor gives. him basically I think it sounds like a. cialis or something this is like 20. years ago hmm. and he goes you're gonna get an erection. and at a certain point like if it if it. doesn't go if it if you don't get an. erection within the next two hours.

something's wrong and if you do you know. it'll be fine and but if it doesn't go. away you got to come back okay so my. buddy takes the pill oh yeah you gotta. take a night walk out the door I just. boned you [ __ ] bareback right then so. look like I took it he goes to see the.

Mel Gibson movie payback and just gets a. rod just like a rod where he's like wow. this is really it starts getting. uncomfortable and he's like [ __ ] he goes. to the bathroom yeah it's hard it's a. hard you get real hard he goes to the. bathroom and it's like all purple huh he. goes he's like I can't wait so he. literally like kind of shuffles back. just kind of with an open boner through.

his pants yeah and the doctor he said. the doctor looked at it you know how the. doctors aren't supposed to react he. could tell the doctor kind of. like oh and then he's like alright we're. gonna have to take it down doesn't say. what that means and yeah it's not like. it's a flag in a few okay good all right. is it that simple we're gonna suck how. are the trumpet yeah because we get a. blanket over there's nothing you can do. yeah sound like a parrot it's like a.

[ __ ] tea cosy so uh so he he he goes. the doctor literally says my buddy he. takes out like a huge vote like a huge. syringe and he says my buddy you're. gonna want to grab the bottom of the. table which is like goddamn he sticks it. in his dick the blood my buddy said. spray into the syringe and took it and.

then like just he just drained the blood. out of his out of his dick and what did. I do with the blood I don't know how I. hate to tell me oh I draw away you want. about what that goes to your penis yeah. that's good blood. that's extra valuable blood that's the. good stuff. but my buddy said 20 years later he. still has a scar on his dick which is.

[ __ ] insane so that's that's my boner. pill story dude that boner pill story is. so good it's not even yourself I know. it's not even mine and he reminded me of. it yesterday. this same buddy has one of my favorite. stories is you know the hill on La. Cienega by sunset yeah when you're yep. and and my buddy had a a I don't even. yeah I guess he had a stick shift but he.

went on he was on that like 8:45. couldn't get up to the point where he. just was flipping out so bad that he. cause like horrible traffic and then he. finally just had to like pull over into. one of those driveway you know like back. up into one of those driveways it isn't. he just couldn't figure out how. Volkswagen Rabbit do you know I don't. know but like the tires are skidding and. people were just going around them that. [ __ ] makes me laugh so he just had to.

abandon his car after a while this is. like I can't I can't do it now it's not. the time you those rabbits of hillary. router. yeah they were not rabbit halfway up a. hill man yeah now you now they got it so. it'll stick but back then my mom used to. have one I'm least I always have to give. up on a hill you know yeah like he'd be. going like oh yeah there it is right. there look at that back yeah that was. the one. yeah and a lot of the gas was in the. trunk to the way I had to Adam built so. it was like that was one of the problems. a lot of the gas would just even way you.

back even more it was a it was a real. test beautiful it was a test of what a. hand i coordinate like figuring out. you're going backward and yeah but he. just didn't any excuse me oh yeah this. house was scared and like getting and. it's you know rush hour in the morning. and finally just quit this is not for me.

I have I have a segment that I want to. play with vo no and we talked about it. before I don't know if you're rolling. but that I look at Co the the wonder of. Pheo is that I don't know what you're. gonna say from minute to minute okay I. don't know when you're on with age I. don't know what you're gonna say you're. gonna it so I so the my point is I don't. know what you know hmm I have no idea. what you know okay good as I told you. you doin your act you look like a guy.

who who has matches right yep I believe. that you look like if I could be. anywhere in the world if you text me and. said I'm outside I would believe it okay. alright I come and get like just yep. that Theo is outside that makes any. [ __ ] anywhere in the world I gotta go. to get Theo what we're at the United. Nations. he's outside he said he's outside okay I. believe that I don't know what so the. question is I don't know what you know. and I feel like you know I know you know.

more than I think you know okay but I. don't know what the. breath of the knowledge is okay so we're. gonna play a game show called what does. Theo know I want you to play along at. home maybe you'll throw some music. underneath this some game show music. playing at home. what does Theo know and I just tell you. things all right no I'm gonna ask you. questions and what and then people will. guess whether you know it or not all. right okay and I'm gonna guest you yeah.

you will you will tell us I'll tell you. if I think you know your way in he knows. you know what he knows I think I know. but I don't know what you know yeah no. one knows what Theo know hey let's do it. name five members of the 1985 Chicago. Bears I believe you know this you almost. don't cuz of your age but I believe you. can muscle it out all right I'm gonna go. with you boy um Shaun Gayle who Murder.

House white [ __ ] no then if you know. Shaun Gayle but I know that because I'm. a Dateline fanatic outside of that I'm. going with your boy oh I will go with. this ah the quarterback that legend Jim. McMahon okay who I met at a golf term. out in Palm Springs and he had this. little kind of thick Jewish woman is his. girlfriend and she said he he goes this. lady will always eat my butt that's what. he told me was his I thought the that's.

the sort of thing I expected you to know. and bro I watched him drink 18 beers man. at this yeah that guys have what he's. like yeah and he would stand up when he. would say that about the lady any we. kind of he had pants on because I kind. of pulled his book apart which was crazy. yeah and uh and I think I got high with. them actually but um but anyway so Shaun. Gayle I showing it I don't know if was. on that team they he might have been. after that team but I'll give you Shaun. Gayle and all the gym ago your boy.

Richard dent right Richard dent yeah if. you know Richard dent and you're gonna. I'm gonna go with sweetness Walter pay. up we're up to four and I'm gonna go. with a course who else is it it's that. guy frigerator Perry. yeah keep got who else do you know Shaun. Gayle the killer right there. yes he was on the team yeah he was. I believe he returned kickoffs I believe. he returned his wife to heaven - yeah.

Rhoni Reuter Willie Gault returned for. the Willie gold really don't ya. goddamn dude blanket Wiest have much. more kind of old-school names I feel. like yeah they had like it was before. the apostrophes and the Kwan's and yeah. Willie go you know they have like. southern they had like sharecroppers. names yeah they had definitely like. holdover like second third hand kind of. yet named like that like I remember like. uh you meet a guy named lilac or. something like that and you'd be like.

that is a cur you know Lal la la si yeah. like the like the flower yes or Toby or. Toby uh all right Toby's a little too. Toby's Allegra no me I can't get I can't. and you know I can't endorse that have. you seen that roots movie yeah me my. grandma watch that Chris you know what's. interesting every Christmas you want to. know just one time but we watched a good. four hours well first of all to get the. feeling to get the Christmas spirit with.

my grandma gets wrapped into something. she it was anybody who watches it more. than one four hours jesus what about a J. Simpson is in it Oh Jay Simpson is. enroute yeah that's I forgot about that. there's a lot of legends in that movie. um who else Sterling Sharpe maybe no. other than making a new one they did. make it it came out it just wasn't that. popular oh wow.

with it you know what was interesting I. read an article on Michael Jordan. yesterday there was a new one on ESPN. where they said he used to be super. disruptive in class after he saw roots. really which was like kind of mine. wanted me because he just seems so. apolitical yeah but he saw roots in 79. or 7n was like started [ __ ] with. people I'm assuming white people which. is really surprising there's a good it's. a long article and dude I remember. seeing it I got it through Netflix sent.

it to me. and this is when you had to get each. week and I was like holy [ __ ] the old. one yeah I was like what happened to. these people like they kept saying like. I get a weight ya hit a wait for you in. the mail and I look back and you felt so. bad you would just make weight off may. Allah help you like just wait like man. I'm just how are you to apologize all. about yeah I'm walking to the mailbox. again yeah you're learning a lot Ed. Asner isn't it yeah I love Lou Gossett. jr. yeah plays uh I believe Fiddler's.

name he was good yeah it was yeah Lou. Gossett you know George you played. Chicken George did he pass away I don't. know what did who pass away what about. this 6-nothing Gossett junior Louis. Gossett jr. do you think we'll ever get. to a place where six nine will be in it. we'll be in roots what the rapper six. nine I don't Oh Takashi like--yeah do. you think oh like Yale will do another. roots and a remake and he's I don't.

think he could I don't think he could. play a slave oh he's also not black I. love Puerto Rican but but you know what. I'm saying well I know a horse diversity. and said with with everybody on being. allowed to play ah yes yes and he yes he. would qualify as a lesbian and now okay. going name can Theo von name for films. directed by Spike Lee I think you can I.

don't think I can but I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna start think about your answer. before he begins first of all I don't. like Spike Lee okay so that's why I. picked him he's a he's a he's a. political [ __ ] I don't care about the. direct I mean I yeah so the movies or. whatever I mean I liked definitely white.

men can't jump and poetic justice he was. not involved in either of them are you. serious he got aim he wasn't even close. to them are you thinking he got game. with Denzel that was likely I was seeing. my white men can't jump why I can't jump. you're thinking of he got game you're. they dove. yaaaaah I just think what's the times. overrated that's what I mean I shouldn't. sound like am i shouldn't say he looks. like [ __ ] I just you know he looks like. somebody that [ __ ] manager Coleco uh. like one of those places at the Dave &. Buster's we go cash in the tickets he. looks like the dude that managed that. like 40 years and then I just don't.

think he made that much good stuff what. did he make good so that's you can't you. that's not answer no interest okay. all right that's the I figure there. might be a limit there but I'm surprised. but I'm still surprised. oh well Mac at Mac I met Malcolm Malcolm. X Malcolm a fever. I haven't very much the original one. yeah that's yeah that's well yeah from. like 91. oh yeah that's spike Wow yeah.

black clansmen you see that no I didn't. see jungle fever she's gonna have it he. started taking else pretty regular I. just think it he's overrated I'm sure. he's probably a neat guy yeah 25th hour. people like that movie I didn't like. iMovie bamboozled he got game he got. game you know what's great about he got. game just watching Ray Allen shoot Willy.

so it's Ray Allen plays like a college. basketball phenom yeah and there's. scenes where him and Denzel are arguing. and Ray Allen's shooting jumpers and he. makes like nine in a row from three at. one point but it's in this it's in a. scene and there's no edits right and. it's [ __ ] you never see someone shoot. like that like it's [ __ ] it's crazy. cuz you just see a guy just make where. you like are you you know you ever watch. like Steph Stephanie videos where he's. just like you know like this is weird.

yeah he's a lot of electronics yeah like. I feel like he might be a wish that. haunted by a video game yes I got a. question for you how long do you think. Takashi six nine will live I think it's. under a year really I really do I don't. I think he I just think someone's gonna. kill him like for all the what he did. yeah I don't see how you survive that. and I also don't see how he. bodyguards like I don't I don't how.

desperate must have bodyguard be cuz. your he is also gonna die but bodyguard. that's your job I mean you don't I don't. think you have a bunch of plans if. you're a bodyguard you know what I don't. you you don't have like a five-year plan. you don't have like I want to be here. then I want to be a different kind of. body like yeah be big and walk and get. hit on stuff yeah stand in front of [ __ ]. get hit by car take arrows yeah do you.

but with that said with that will you be. a little disappointed when he dies I. think he I'll say this I find him to be. a hilarious cartoon brat yeah in the. abstract you want to talk about a living. troll yeah I mean they living a live. he's like he's like if you remember that. Twilight Zone where there's a thing on. the wing there's like a monster on the.

wing in the plane uh-huh it's that's. what Takashi looks like he just looks. like like a little goblin goblin he's a. [ __ ] legend that thing dude I mean I. think he I think I agree I don't think. he's gonna live that long okay is that. we're talking about yeah this looks like. some Spike Lee will be 83 version that. one's good that guy he's more of like a. snow dude but here's the thing though.

his music is good. oh yeah that's a thing as I've never. listened to music I will say I listen to. xx Nixon tascioni after he died and I. was surprised by how good it was yeah I. was like oh this is like there you go. that's more what I was thinking but he. trolls oh yeah well he's gonna work it's. gonna be a unique world that he lives in. because he's always gonna have to be in. hiding unless does he have to go back to. jail do you know Nick if he has to go. back to jail after the virus I don't.

know where it's at I don't think he's. out cuz of the virus I think he's out. because of the I think he's out because. uh. because he just did he turned state's. witness but here's the thing did they. even bust anybody he snitched on uh I. think they did they must have I don't. think they I don't think they would. bargain I don't think you would get a. plea deal if you didn't have good.

information because that's what my. guilty pleasure is going and watching. his stuff sometimes and seeing what he's. up to. you know I watched the video he's yeah. he's a he's a he's a tree he's a living. troll yeah but he recently tried to out. billboard he was saying that Justin. Bieber and Ariana Grande paid to get. number one on the Billboard yeah he was. saying that like at the last minute. people would buy you know listens to. their songs or something so right yeah. but I mean I think that kind of stuff. has always been like those charts can be.

manipulated I feel like yeah well what's. funny is like the song is called I'm. back and they mad yeah well it's like. yeah you of course they're mad you. [ __ ] snitched on a gang he did lie or. he snitched or whatever but I can't. believe there's so much is there a lot. of like is there a real code of conduct. between some of these [ __ ] really I. think the only yeah code at black don't.

seem like he has a real code of conduct. you know yeah I think the thing is. you're not the one thing you're not. supposed to do is you just can't snitch. if you're all doing a crime you can't. you give me a clip right that's the only. I think that's the but none of them yeah. that's a good rule yeah like none of. them had like you to your point I don't. think they don't have a code but it's. they start doing it because they're. desperate and then it's like well they. made that decision they did crime. because they're desperate they're gonna.

turn cuz they're just gonna what's the. desk and if you're in a desperate. situation and he's gonna take the he's. just gonna continue to take the I bet he. dies of an overdose. that would be Maury yeah I don't I'm. sure. his existence is a form of misery as. like angry and [ __ ] ha it's it's got. to be scary ish like your body can't. take that kind of. dress yeah I agree the constant like Oh. dim them them like them them them and. you really do have people out to kill.

you yeah to kill you someone could. openly say I want to kill you and. everyone be like even the cops be like. but is he now under with witness. protection is he under or police. watching him like are they protecting. him as well I don't that I don't know I. don't know I don't think the cops are. gonna protect him but I don't I think. raising room with shame right manatees. I'll tell you what we do here's a. question we don't know this we. definitely don't know all right. what is Takashi's plea agreement all.

right this one I think you will get all. right name three people who have served. as governor of California Oh Gavin. Newsom mm-hmm. sunny Sun I know this I can't believe. you're about to say here you're gonna. say really I can't believe that you I. could not even remember this one I don't. know if I remember but let me thank Reed.

I think his name was sunshine brown mmm. Sun sherry. yes Jerry sunshine sometime was like his. nickname yes sunshine Jerry Jerry Jerry. Brown uh-huh Wow and uh oh. VRR gasa and Antonin via Ragosa no I. don't think it was governor wasn't oh oh. he's the mayor yeah yeah yeah I thought.

those were the ones I thought you would. get I thought you might get Pete Wilson. they wrote there was a second governor. of he's really old but his name was. Sonny James rorimer all be honest did. you mean Sonny general no looks like he. definitely has or he would get sunburned. he does he would have to wear leather. driving gloves if he drove my family. around look at that mustache what a.

mustache that's a goddamn broom what do. you uh are you like what are you okay. with. right now like what are you okay with. far as like socially right now do you. feel like um I don't you go on a date. would you take a date somewhere I don't. think I would I don't think I would uh. because I don't I mean would I have a. date over I don't think I would do that. either in that I don't want someone I.

don't know at my house right but is that. just a general rule of thumb no I would. well no the problem was that was like. mice I mean I would just go like let's. just go to my house and like a nice. place. yeah it's nice but it's not like mmm. it's nice but it's meaning I'd rather do. that then like let's go to the [ __ ]. bumper car or whatever people do on date. right miniature got like I just wasn't I. don't really drink so that really. reduces what you can do on dates as you.

know yes you'd rather take just some. more low-key approach really let's just. order some food and talk and talk and. watch Netflix and talk [ __ ] and which if. you're gonna make a move on a chick you. kind of do the couch kind of move is it. that so yeah I have a couch and yeah but. it's like you kind of scoot closer on. the couch you I feel like most of my. first kisses in the recent life have. been in my car it's a Tesla so say no.

more serious serious it's proving the. opposite of what you want it to signal. wait till one date is press a button in. the Patriot plays bald eagle so it's.

been like but on the couch yeah it's you. I'm really is it like the first kiss on. the couch usually it's in the car cuz we. go somewhere or whatever oh yeah yeah. and then I think okay goodbye. and that's what it what are you like. yeah this is always a moment I feel like. if like cuz he like I feel like here's. how you know I feel like if a girl. doesn't want to kiss you she gets out of. your car real fast so that's the vibe I. kind of take is like okay there's an.

opportunity to kiss maybe kiss here you. know I think if there's any delay they. the here's that one of the if there's a. delay in like okay so then do something. now if she double check sometimes a. little double check their bag go do I. have everything. yeah do I have my own keys that can. sometimes be a faint that can be like a. fake out that like kiss or that's not it. that's not a green light yeah if there's.

just a delay like a beat of like huh. that's the time a thing that I do. sometimes do is I will say maybe a half. hour before I'll be like you know I'm. gonna kiss you just so you know oh. at the end of the day just FYI I like. that yeah Cupid's arrows coming no Cupid. arrow I got him in my quill I like that. yeah yeah yeah yeah little just say FYI. oh I like that's a good idea cuz it's.

it's like flirty but it's kind of like. dirty it's you're asking you're. basically asking for consent psyche. reversed and you're asserting you're. being assertive which women like yeah. they like like I wanna guys like. assertive and like so you just go I'm. gay and then if she goes no you're not. then you okay yeah you're like you're. damn right I'm not I don't even like it. yeah okay I can hate mouth now here's a. crazy thing do you ever notice like my. whole life I've been like this like I've. been like so if you are like I just.

don't know what I'm talking about and. then my brain kind of shuts down and I. can't even hear what I'm saying anymore. and then I'll just go in like there is. that thing no it's like when there a. bomb goes off in a movie whereas like. there's a bit like. that's what it's a bit like before. you're going to move in Oh Chris where. there's a bit of like it's a netherworld. underwater it's not normal life it's a.

little heightened and there's a little. like fear it's like a move it's like. we're taking this to the next I'm always. like yeah I love going to different. places there's a something like boys. last your last line before you make out. it always always like a bummer like no. you're right we should yeah. oh really your parents are seconds are. great they have overinflated the Cova.

death ray yeah that is a funny I. remember the first time I kissed a girl. it was like I was like in sixth grade. fifth or sixth grade yeah and it was. like sponsored by another couple who. were hooking us up me and this girl. he's like a church group no well it was. Catholic school it is man so they were. like we're all going let's go to the. park make out with Margaret was her name. this is back in the 1800s Little Women.

yeah it was Little Women. it was Little House on the Prairie. Margaret again no one thinks you know. Sense and Sensibility that's what I'm. talking about dude one of the best. movies is take a nap too in the history. the world prone sense and sensibility. and yeah lay down. even the voiceover of Sense and. Sensibility is a whisper Scorsese. directed Sense and Sensibility really. yeah that's a [ __ ] up yeah the [ __ ]. king of the gangsters also directed.

Sense and Sensibility anyhow it was good. so as they were going Margaret well I. was on the ground Margaret great older. she's coming in for the kiss and the. last thing I heard was her she was a. great older yeah states should open your. mouth to me and then I opened my mouth. and then I was like oh this is weird you. just [ __ ] Tong Tong Tong same thing. do you think going back to that space. that you open your mouth. and you open your eyes wider at the same. time when they said that just out of. like some weird like no I think my eyes.

might have been closed. oh yeah I think my eyes were closed and. they were like you got to open your hey. guy you gotta open your mouth because. this isn't gonna be anything if you. don't know but I don't think they were. like clamped yeah I just think that they. were not it was not kissing they were. not hi kisses hey buddy. hey guy nose buddy color man we got it. look I we feel awful. all right question number four see Oh.

what is it and do you think Thea knows. the answer does Theo know what a. carburetor is and does yes yes you do is. gonna say I think this is the sort of. thing I expect you to know but if you. told me you didn't like because you're a.

carburetor I feel like I feel like a. carburetor takes heat off of the engine. what do you think Nick I have no idea. does it have smoke in it I'm looking at. carburetor I like that you're trying to. think of the times you've heard it. people talk about it yeah a carburetor. is a device that mixes air and fuel for. internal combustion engines in the. proper fuel yeah I don't know that carb.

you gotta use it cold and look what they. call in Australia you'll like this what. a car be a carving of course because. it's Australia they put a why on the. back of everything I met a guy from. Australia the other day that car B yet. so carburetor all right so that I bet a. lot of people are surprised you didn't. know because I didn't really know and I. still don't even know that I know what. it is I'm like I don't really know what. that is it feels like it's part of the.

engine yeah it sounds like it is that. carburetor boy it is part of the engine. but I don't I let's not count that one. oh I'm counting okay count it so you did. know the Bears you didn't know Spike Lee. you did know California you did not know. what. carburetor is okay here's one okay wilfy. oh no what aids is an acronym for I.

think you will I'm gonna go with. autoimmune deficiency syndrome that is. correct amino autoimmune either one is. right Nick. acquired but autoimmune it's fine do you. uh-huh. did you ever think you had AIDS and got. tested for it no I mean other people. think I have it really I'm look at me. I've never think AIDS no I know like.

some lesser like well you're not. full-blown I don't think maybe that you. had a neighbor that had polio that's it. yeah I never know but you remember. having sex in the 90s it was like a it. was you it was scary yeah well there was. a live here think about it like really. think about aids more than I think about.

STDs now you would think am I gonna die. from this. oh I remember being so angry at somebody. when I was young and I told people they. had AIDS. mmm-hmm how old like Heights grade. school high school I sounded out. probably graduate school it's 29 Wow. were they funny bro I don't want to know. any follow-ups I don't want to know. anymore. it's how do they how do they ever.

confront you about it huh no man it's. not funny and I hope that they're doing. good - is there something interfering. with you or a happiness with your joy. with that sunshine getting inside of. your body and just bouncing off inside. of you is there something that's. preventing you from achieving your goals. maybe you uh maybe you came out of a. relationship and it's been heavy maybe. you had a hamster transaction go south. and you got the bad end.

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maybe braids I look like I've do oh I'll. tell you this. so whenever ya in my twenties I had. pretty heavy erectile decided severe. anxiety was what I had sexual anxiety so. man I would get like you do you have do. you still have sexual anxiety or you. have still have it no. Rosie's like still have it like I still.

get like yeah like I still definitely. have like some issues like if I get in a. relationship for me to want to have sex. if I'm in a relationship that kind of. thing like and do you have you like. talked to a therapist oh yeah they're. tired of hearing about it honestly what. do you what do they think it is fear of. intimacy. yeah probably fear of venomous ages but. it's not like performance like I'm not a. man or I'm not gonna be good at it or. not I don't think it's that yeah yeah. and when I was younger I just didn't. know what it was I just knew that I was.

just super super nervous and so I. remember going to the doctor one time. and saying look I just want to make sure. that I know that this is just in my head. or if it's in my body. right does this remind me of the story. you tell about your buddy yeah so they. gave you an injection this man and this. guy was a complete [ __ ] I think if. you're gonna inject something to. somebody's penis yeah that's yes have a. little bedside manner little um yeah. this guy was a lollipop or of story or. something yeah knock I was like that.

monkey on the Donkey Kong just [ __ ]. home in barrels this guy not care at all. right like he'd throw a barrel of. softener at a dick on a ladder you know. like this guy just I mean here's what. they did they inject something into your. penis and they say that it's going to. it's gonna get hard for a while and and. then you have to just monitor and let. them know like how long it stays hard. for and and you basically just stay in.

this rough state in this room for like. six hours and it was the scariest thing. ever man and did you have a boner the. whole time yeah I do boner the whole. time and yeah it starts to get gets kind. of discolored and you're like what is. going on you get scared it hurts yeah it. does it's just too much blood trying to. get out of your penis it's like all your. blood wants to it's almost like trying. to like your blood is like trying to. have a bloody nose but it's in but it. can but it can't and it's like it just. man it hurts so bad but I need to find. out yeah it's nothing physical you don't.

have any physical are you not supposed. to jerk off did he did he give you a. direction on that and I can't remember. it was too painful to to masturbate wow. that's interesting. yeah. the injection was just to make sure that. blood that the blood flow was working. yes so it was like okay we're gonna see. how long these like things in your penis. blood tanks or whatever will stay full. and uh oh dude it was so scary and the. guy was so mean and I was just not -. you're supposed to be not I guess no but. it's if you're dealing with dick stuff.

it seems like like you know be a be. humane about it yeah because it's at end. for a guy it's like it was scary it's. it's like a it's a it's a cause of fear. and like vulnerability yeah and I was. floor I was at flirting with that way I. mean I'm always flirting with you ever. yeah you know I'll flirt with everybody. but oh man but that yeah that was. miserable but it did help me realize. okay it's nothing physical in my body. yeah so there's nothing my bodies were. you relieved if there was a physical.

like that took off a ton of okay has. that has had no idea I'm always like. maybe I'm not stretching enough yeah I'm. not having enough lemonade you know just. anything yeah it comes like I don't know. if I can have that it'll clog my dick up. you know. oh geez a cheesecake no way you know if. this is probably for Google so it's just. all her mouth Google just be anybody it. could be any [ __ ] yeah Google was. just a anyone you were talking to was. good an older relative was absolutely.

yeah well then there it is that's my. there's my answer. oh it's just kids so like I don't know. man but anyway so that was relieving. just to know that but what have you go. down on women or do something to to kind. of take the focus off of you or to push. oh the focus I would give anything man I. would be like oh I gotta go you know run. something at you anything anything to.

kill time so people want the [ __ ] you. know and I don't have to be one of those. people even not wanted to be one of. those people would you start. would you like get would you would you. ever do the thing where you give them an. orgasm and then you like oh you know. what. I'm not we don't have to worry about me. no that's been later in my life like I'm. not into it like ejaculating or anything. like that like that's kind of I don't. really do that anymore like if I'm doing. sex I'm not doing. I'm more I'd rather not ejaculate now I.

feel like it's almost it's more. avant-garde or something or more not on. my guard but this is where I go I have. no idea what you're gonna say there you. go. now ejaculating and I'm like what's all. that we could say anything well I want. to be on that you know I'm always trying. to think of like you know just I don't. know coming on somebody seems. old-fashioned we talked about this the. other day didn't me or Jack you late. none if somebody just seemed so like oh. it's so it's a movie yeah it's like. caveman it's like a jacket your own. house yeah yeah or something like get.

out what are you doing. yeah go in there we're going to go to. the bathroom what do ya your penis has a. problem yeah like why would you what. it's happening yeah it is so graphic and. so like it's crazy because women just. like you know shake yeah whereas we have. a deliverable we have a new thing like a. look at this thing I have a thing a.

third thing now I conjured this thing up. I've seen that but yeah man that stuff. it was always tricking me and the worst. thing is is figuring out like being. sexually comfortable for me anyway the. toughest thing it's just you're like man. I want to figure this out but then time. keeps ticking and you're like I'm in. after really a hundred percent figured. out in this life you know yeah yeah. that's the that's a funny thing where I.

don't we talked about this last time but. it's like ya know maybe I don't get. married hey that doesn't happen for me. maybe there's not enough time in life. for me to crack that 80 years I just. it's a hundred and ninety year problem. yeah. it's a hundred ninety-eight riddle and I. just can't I don't have time I'm never. gonna there's no point in starting cuz. I'll never saw it's not solvable yeah. for ya that sometimes I think that about. certain things like especially when it. comes to like kind of relationships and.

that comfortability and that sort of. thing and yeah and the NMC relationships. for me I'm just like. man at a certain point I don't want to. endanger anybody else's feelings that's. exactly dude that's and I don't know if. we talked about this before that's. exactly the point it's when guys guys do. the most damage when they think they can. be good like I know I'm a normal healthy. person meanwhile you're like no you're. not yeah in the back of your head you're. like you're [ __ ] not normal and.

healthy yeah but you're like no I want. to be the kind of guy who seems normal. and healthy and you know just not and. then they ruin women's lives. yeah cuz women want to believe it and. then was it he's done it women and you. did he get married no I kind of am at. the moment and are you any good at it. yes I'm work all the time so it helps. yeah yeah but we don't have any gifts. for it so it's true yeah that's my beer.

or maybe some guys do I will say I don't. have many and sounds like you don't have. many yeah I think it's really tough for. me I think that's one of the reasons. like sometimes I like spent on my. ex-girlfriend because it's just we at. least like get along well and it's easy. yeah and the expectations are manageable. the expectations are manageable and I. care about it's like and it's not like. we don't have like a real sexual law. there's not that element in our. relationship right so it's just like a. friendship really yeah and so it's like. I almost start to think sometimes I.

don't know maybe this is crazy to think. but it's like maybe I just would get. married to a friend or something and. just you know well then you're into do. you need a companion because there been. times during this this kovat where I've. been like man I'm glad no one was here. this whole time right like or I'll be. here I'll be like someone would have had. a girlfriend would have been here the. whole time and would be with me right. now. yeah and I would and I wouldn't be. escapable yeah you just can't and that's.

where I'm like I'm not I don't think I'm. built like that I don't need a companion. so a lot of people do I don't think I do. from what I can tell but do you think. you would like to challenge it because I. think that to for myself sometimes it's. like okay. sometimes I think well then maybe I have. divided my willing to challenge myself. enough but what see a challenge it's. like it's like see if I can just be like. yo can I get through it yes I can get.

through something about that though. there's something about some guy seeing. some guy you know right before he dies. and his wife's right there and he's like. yes you know there's some element of. life like I respect that guy when I see. that guy dude and his wife is saying. something and he hadn't heard of her for. 12 years you know because he's hurt at. all he knows what it is yeah you know. yes so there is a level of likewise just. salute that guy yeah absolutely.

do you salute her no if it's if the if. the if the places are traded if she's in. bed she's in a telling deathbed and he's. been a loyal husband I mean I think I. mean yeah I think it's great what she's. doing you know but I think the women. salute her you know like I only I guess. something is specifically from a mate. you know like well but that's the thing. of like the men sometimes it's not hard. to be around women but like we don't. have a ton in common.

just like naturally like where we did. that stuff we talked about the way we. deal with each other like men [ __ ] with. each other constantly oh yeah. and we're interested in different [ __ ]. like women generally don't love violence. the way we do they don't love. competition this is whatever there's. something like a lot of significant. differences there are a lot of ways in. which we do line up but then there's a. lot where we don't so I don't sometimes. I find that I can't the good stuff isn't.

worth the bad stuff meaning this stuff. where it's like butting heads isn't. worth the like nice parts sometimes it. is sometimes it is but it's like it it. so I I can get through this I've stayed. in relationships I didn't what shouldn't. have stayed in oh yeah because of like I. wanted to make a [ __ ] effort yeah. [ __ ] get in there and roll yeah like. I [ __ ] you did it back in there yeah. they [ __ ] put throw the quarter yeah.

however my [ __ ] base yeah I can do it. but it doesn't mean I should and that's. the thing that bothers me about kind of. societal norms is like you should it's. admirable. why doesn't mean it's just a thing that. I got through it's not a thing that why. do you want me to do a thing I don't. really enjoy right but then I want right. I agree I wish I enjoyed it. there's my I'm also saying I wish I. enjoyed it more I wish I was an easier I.

wish I had an easier person there's. something also thin about being part of. but I don't know but I agree and then I. think like but then also there's. probably somebody that you know needs to. be loved out there and I could do my. best to help them you know what I love. them you know and then I think like you. know there's billions of people that. need to be loved by you right so then if. you could just get one you know yeah get. him in the house you read together. sometime no I know but then it just. becomes like a bird he's getting a bird.

I mean your mother's Birds you're in an. iguana that's fine. I think some relation feel like that I. think some of them let's you guys are. each other's pets almost in a way yeah. you know I think at my Rodney you know. yes where is he the way they talk about. men is like that where like see and I do. see what I did and I got him a shirt and. I got an addition he's been dead for a. month but there's something though it's.

it's but getting up being alone being. alone isn't funny there are a lot of. times a long long term I think it gets. lamer though as we get further into our. lives I think it gets lamer and. sometimes you're like can you still. relate to people as much or you just. that bad eye problem it's like that. thing in your homosexual as well they or. you know there's gay Randall or well. yeah he can you know his wife you know. he don't have a wife they yeah they.

don't put illegal hang on if you're. married to a woman rightly collects. little pictures of men yeah yeah no. that's the joke I was I did a joke about. as a woman don't give you any if you I'm. 46 I've never been married women are. like. this guy's a maniac oh yeah you're. getting into that freaking yeah [ __ ]. mate how are you I am 40 years old yeah. you're welcome to it I'm 40 I'm gonna be. 41 yeah next year yeah so like I'm in.

the [ __ ] I'm in the like the I used. to look like women would give me more. credit if I'd been married and murdered. my wife. yeah then having never been married like. something's the matter with you. yeah most of my uh the biggest thing I. feel like I want I just want to. apologize to any women that I've ever. been in relationship I think what we're. trying to say here is sorry yeah I just. met you're a decent I bet you're like my.

nice are you not know yeah I think that. I am I'm mostly nice I mean I have like. I have a like jagged personality but I'm. not. no young saturation disorder though. definitely what like like I remember my. first girlfriend like she she you know. kind of bang some other guy and uh I. remember uh putting air in her shampoo. huh and uh like I was you know yeah I. was looking I was headhunt you know and. I'm gonna start with the hair you know. just yeah just angry or like bad well.

that I know it's out of our lure went I. mean that's that's I don't think you. would have done that for no reason yeah. I think I was young too yeah you know. that's some of that say young yeah like. you don't know what else did you think. that's well now I have to put an air in. her shampoo yeah like naturally this is. how this ends yeah this is that's the. that's the logic yeah this ends with her. looking like a little bit of did she and. abuse and I like uh not doc wherever. something I was thinking of but um she.

didn't one of her roommates used it but. uh she was fine hmm and I didn't know. now I didn't know anything about I mean. there's such a strong smell they can. tell instantly oh god I've never I don't. know what it smells like it's not like. burn like chemically it smells like like. it's nice but but that somebody could. really get hurt that's what it smells. like it smells like oh wow this is kind. of cool but then you're like oh this. could be really dangerous. I had a Theo thought one time.

where I was thinking and I was like I. should give this to Thea where I was. thinking about sex like the smell of sex. afterward oh yeah and I had thought. smells like people been doing arts and. crafts oh yeah yeah and then I thought. that I should give that to feel with. their body duh yeah been making some. arts and crafts did you ever. I don't know I'm talking all this today. but did you ever feel like one of your. underarm smelled like vagina sometimes. did that ever come near well but this is.

another question that was good how. what's the longest you've gone on the. kovat without taking shower and what how. bad did it get oh nothing too crazy I. would say maybe 72 hours probably if I'm. not feeling good I'll have to go back to. sleep and restart my day that's why I'm. one of those kind of people like I have. to take a nap like if I get real angry. or anything have to take a nap and. that's kind of restart my day basically. our old selves in timeout but if I can't.

do that if I can't ball back and sleep. I'll take a shower okay and so that'll. get me it's like a recalibration 72. that's three days yeah I would say three. days casual what do you think Nick for. me personally I shower every day I love. showering it starts my day it's really. Chancellor yeah I wait I think I went. four days during kovat and it smelled. like smelled like Wrigley Field after.

the seventh-inning stretch. bathroom the long urinal if you've been. to Wrigley Field but you said like. trough urinal oh yeah family-style yep. and that's what it smelled like yeah and. then that was on the bottom up top I. would say it smelled like it a beautiful. beautiful mysterious right there there.

it is not the ivy I love that you could. eat out of those yes wonderful. that's it salad it's a salad bar that's. a that's a buffet that's for photo. and up top it smelled like someone was. making soup oh yeah but no one was. making soup yeah I was that beefy smell. sometimes yeah worth like onions and but. you ever had that you ever notice one of. your underarms and be like oh wow that. smells like a went like a female's kind.

of yeah I mean I think it's the same. dynamic which is closed up close very. wet yeah close up yeah I mean they yeah. they add another element yeah yeah but. yeah that's interesting because I always. thought I was the only person and I. can't tell anybody this always felt like. that's this crazy secret that I had like. a vagina under like or like I was. supposed to be a woman you don't say I'm. like when ya long you think like oh my. god yeah I know there's like a woman. trapped under my arm yeah or sorry you. know just crazy [ __ ] yes of course um.

all right you guys make anything else. good hold on oh okay I believe you're. gonna know this name two books by Ernest. Hemingway oh I know this one what did. the audience thing kind of told me I. would I would have guessed yes I think. he knows literature quite a bit actually. I hear some some crazy references pulled. out and I'm gonna go with Sun Also Rises. and Moby Dick Heffron he did not write.

Moby Dick I have the same series yeah I. had the same thought and I can't. remember who wrote one of his friends. write it who wrote it oh man I can't. remember either it is Herman Melville do. you want and littered you want to guess. a different one Hemingway no I just knew. that one they had us right read in high. school Ernest Hemingway I never really. liked him anyway man I thought it was.

good I think Muriel's pretty hot but I. never I haven't read any of it you. haven't no it was always a little I. don't know sure I like the short. sentences he was like super into like. outdoorsy guy [ __ ] right yeah yeah yeah. yeah and he was all Marines basically. yeah this is kind of early. I guess alright we did not surprise. sorry folks he did not know this one I.

think you're gonna know name three songs. can you name three songs by Def Leppard. let me think about it. Def Leppard uh-huh I would say no puck I. would have guessed you did I would have. guessed. I'll just say cherry pie that's I was.

gonna say that's warrant. that's warrant yeah that's warm broad. [ __ ] love warrant here we got the old. man in the sea for Whom the Bell Tolls. that's those are not Def Leppard songs. those that is Hemingway books in our. time Sun Also Rises fair what arms to. heaven having out for Whom the Bell. Tolls the old man in the sea what do you. think I have a question then what do you. think how do you think comedy looks. after this where do you think we go from. here I don't know I mean different.

theory I've never had been where people. are like people were saying early like. the comedy middle class is gonna be. [ __ ] like people that are open mic or. it's at work day jobs we find cuz they. can and then like headliners will be. okay I don't know if anyone's gonna have. to stop doing stand-up do you know what. I mean like I don't think anyone I don't. know how many clubs are gonna shut down.

completely but so you just headlined. fewer clubs I guess well yeah I mean. there's few there's less money coming in. I mean we had Rambo on I don't know yes. I think that there will be less money. but I don't think it'll be you can no. longer be a comedian. I think you can still make a living. doing it it'll it for some people it. will be a worse living but I don't know. I was supposed to start a show in New. York like a one-man show may 5th Wow and. had the theater everything and then just.

gone. do you I mean I can't help but it's. interesting because you can find an. airplane yep but you can't sit in a. venue you know well that's what the the. I've read yesterday I think 50 percent. of Ja like hospitality and live events. is down 50 percent employment so half. the people are unemployed but then. there's I've read another thing where. they there are venues like 300 Cedars.

are basically saying to headliners like. headliner headliners like there's a. place called City Winery in New York. there's like eight of them there's like. a in different cities it's basically a. live music venue or performance venue. they they basically said the headliners. like we could have 80 people in here and. you can charge whatever you want so. there are there are certain acts that. are thinking like I could church 300.

bucks a ticket right and if it's 80. people that the gross is 20 for grant. right maybe I can walk with 14 or what. you know I mean like something or you. get the hold or like it if you if you. have fans that can pay a lot of money. you could do shows tomorrow right you. just have to charge people a lot of. money Yeah right - in order to enforce. social distancing you're gonna but I. once there's a let's say there's a. vaccine in a year I think it goes more.

or less how it was I don't like you know. I seem right what do you think I think. so I think yeah I think you get back to. I mean I think you know some of the. clubs are opening up they had a hundred. people in 125 people and the ones that. in Oklahoma City and and uh in Salt Lake. City I just wonder if they're gonna you. know if that works I can't see them. after you know a couple of weeks not.

sliding in an extra table here they're. you know we're like yeah I mean a little. bit of that's gonna happen so you're. gonna increase that there will there be. raids or will people I I had the thought. and I and I'm I'm fairly sure I'm not. certain about much and kovat. there's not gonna be another lockdown. meaning once this lockdown is over. they're not gonna be able to do another. one right I don't I just don't think. people are gonna go for it yeah I don't. know if because I think now I think.

people are like okay we did that we. tried to flatten the curve yeah I think. now too many people just don't know what. to believe there's that I also think. even if there's a second wave in the. fall I think you're not gonna be able to. shut the country down I just don't I. think people are gonna be like nah man. we did it we gave we did three months. right of a worse life for almost. everybody I have worse like for. everybody it's a worse life right it's. more a different life yeah it's but I.

think for a lot of you it's people are. even I'm not that social I still wish I. could go work and do stew socialize. right yeah I don't think people are. gonna go for it again I think it'll be. some of it on the right will be we don't. believe you and some on the Left will be. like ah come on man like we did it once. the economy is on life support. yeah and so that's the I think that this. if there is a second wave I think it's.

gonna be every man for himself I think. people are just gonna be like there you. go you and Shaw I'm always self what do. you think you like that Nick I don't. know if you you could completely. quarantine and not leave your house if. that's the fear if you're older that's. like Dom's 87 yeah. and I've had to like yell at her and be. like look stay home like well I know. know you're 87 there's a if you get Cova. over 80 there's a 20% chance yeah that's.

a [ __ ] Rappaport right there yeah now. having said that there was a guy show. the picture of the guy who was at Miami. Music Festival and he almost he was. ripped it was on BuzzFeed news. he was yoked and then he and then he got. was it Arenberg this guy was on steroids. wow that's funny I didn't think about. that I'm so naive. yeah probably if you don't get steroids.

for a while especially during. this thing then you gotta know if you do. Miami yeah I think this I went to high. school with this kid named Chris I think. is that him what's this guy's name. yeah that god is he done any steroids. left I've seen this kind of [ __ ] and it. if you completely stop lifting you don't. you don't eat you dehydrate don't like. it can so he was in he was in like. intubated for six weeks and he thought. it was a week Wow.

yeah he's like said to the nurse I'm. about like a so it's been a week she's. like a week you've been here six weeks. living off the frickin government's dime. this bastard just laying there in a coma. bro wake up man bro yeah you gotta get. back out of it straps at bro he went. from you to me basically [ __ ] poor. guy. holy o Nation dude it was 26% of his. body weight in six weeks that's it's a. lot yeah but that's what I was saying.

like it's gonna be every man for himself. I was joking on the way over here for. that there should be you know like the. NFL Combine yeah that should just be. like if you can run the 40 and under. eight seconds you're good to go. like you can you're good do you like. people on the starting line with their. bug I jump just like are you fit enough. yeah he'll be alright the chances are. you're gonna be fine yeah that anti but.

I cuz I truly don't believe they're. gonna be able to do it again I don't. think I think enough businesses will be. like I'm not gonna have a business yeah. I think there's like a quarter. businesses are [ __ ] anyhow well a lot. of people are operating mums in the deal. I go to a trainer and see a trainer on. the DL you know like and it's you know. they have a curtain in front of them you. know yeah right knee so nobody could see. yeah I know people are getting like. secret haircuts back-alley haircuts yeah. I ain't got one yesterday at a garage. over in Reseda some enough Twitter. really yeah that's so funny.

so I had to finish it up myself a little. bit she she didn't do bad but she didn't. do great but what do you think about the. Joe Rogan deal there I am right there in. that garage and Reseda man I've rolled. in her and her husband do it that's so. goddamn funny. pretty good. give her a nice tip I felt like and they. were her husband has two kids that he's. divorced but he has two kids that moved. to the town I'm from actually in. Louisiana and they're living over there. how old are they.

I'm not of age I mean the daughter. sounded hot but she's young you know but. that's what the lady said I didn't say. that I don't even ask. rogon I think it's [ __ ] awesome I. think it's what do you think it's gonna. do what do you think it's gonna do well. we talked about this on the phone I. don't think it's gonna do much me I. think it's good I think it's. unequivocally good cuz the like when. Howard Stern went from radio to. satellite it was almost like he left.

popular culture whereas Jo podcast is. already not it's already like off the. beaten path so I think he's not gonna be. reduced culturally at all right like. there's not he's not gonna miss I don't. I don't know how much that means to him. anyway but I don't he's not gonna be any. less relevant culturally and it sounds. like a lot of money and with very little.

downside it's like his listeners have to. listen to ads I think this subscription. if you don't want to listen to ads yes. Ames YouTube yeah yeah it seems like he. I mean he's like the guy to do it cuz he. got like you said he got everything he. wanted he's licenses so he's not giving. up IP he can still put out YouTube clips. which is like his biggest growth more. people watch his clips than his full. episodes on YouTube anyways yeah I don't. see I don't see the downside people are. like oh Spotify might be able to control.

them a I think that's why they don't. want to control I mean he's the reason. he's popular is cuz he talks about 10. things like you know I mean I don't. think they're gonna be like could you. just focus on UFOs yeah like it's just. they're not gonna and also once if he. feels like if he even sniffs like. they're trying to control him he'll just. go [ __ ] this [ __ ] this I think that's. why I said [ __ ] this to YouTube because. they are doing some of that slightly. censorship thing I don't know whether. yeah I mean just like. if you talk about Corona they'll.

demagnetize you yeah and I think that. kind of stuff could just be getting. stronger you know as we go along it. definitely seems like on Twitter it's. like extremely it's a very liberal app. it seems like you know like so I think. that and you know I think that I could. see some of the other you know the. Giants some of the other social media. Giants and YouTube's almost it's really. kind of like social media in a way I. mean it's but I'm curious to see what. Spotify new interface is gonna look like.

because if they're gonna start video and. they don't have as full episodes and. then are they gonna buy other stuff to. supplement it because you go there might. a promise you they're gonna ask you. Schultz. Sandra you know I'm sure they've already. asked / Obama does Obama have a deal at. Spotify that's a rumor that I heard yeah.

yeah so yeah like I'm sure they've. already asked / I'm sure they've already. asked like didn't I mean they Bill. Simmons they gave him a million like. they gave him a normally I think it was. a hundred yeah I think 150 but the. difference there they bought the ring or. actually right Joe Roby just licensed it. right but they also pay Amy Schumer she. show Joe Budden yeah yeah Joe Budden so. like though though you know I think.

they'd rather have more than less. there's no downside I mean I button like. a lot of my podcast is streams on. Spotify like I don't Joe wouldn't give. it to them I think right and yeah I. don't think I mean and they're gonna. license oh I guess at a certain point. he'll be able to get it all back yeah. will will they take everything he has on. YouTube and put it on to Spotify. the full episodes yes and it's gonna be. like a slow transition okay so it's been. yeah so he's got a huge library's got.

6,000 hours I would guess Wow. he's done maybe not 6,000 but definitely. 3,000 yeah so I don't I think it's good. for both of them honestly their stock. went up 10% yeah. like the on the announcement like there. it's good that's all they wanted I. wonder what their platform is gonna be. like our people I mean it is time for. YouTube to have a competitor for sure. yeah you know that's the that YouTube's. gonna be hard to compete with because. they have a 15 year leave and I and.

they're owned by Google and like they. just have a lot of [ __ ] going for them. yeah but yeah that's the that's the I'm. I'm happy for Joe and it seems like. there's no downside I'm and I that if. that's a smart investment on their part. I said I think I said to you on the. phone the fact that Comedy Central or a. network never got a bunch of podcasts. video podcast and just put them on.

Comedy Central at 10:30 the way he used. to put Howard Stern on is back it's. still baffling to me yeah still because. you look at the amount of hits if we get. you'd be like those better numbers than. Comedy Central numbers yeah so why would. you guys and I think it's because they. didn't feel like they did it yeah like. love line at night remember even in. heaven love line on that was like having. a podcast basically just sitting there. and that was that was kind of a pop that. was a popular show up yeah but love line.

was the like a produced version of the. radio show I don't even think they. needed to do all that yeah they could. have what people don't realize is this. is enough yeah this is enough they used. to I mean it Howard Stern used to show. it then they acted like well that didn't. happen and then I guess I must did it on. TV on MSNBC it's gonna be I mean it's. definitely something gonna be. interesting I yeah I think for for Joe. it's really a no-lose he does licenses. you know you know he can have it back.

I'm guessing whenever he leaves the. thing about Joe is he doesn't seem rich. right. even though he's and he's been rich and. now he's now it's like getting to like. wealthy yeah he doesn't see he just. doesn't hasn't really changed he hasn't. he looks he looks like he'd look if he. worked construction yeah almost to the. outfit. like I done enough difference which is.

part of his appeal he just doesn't. that's his sensibilities like t-shirts. and jeans yeah and a pocket full of. fresh hawk me what about the Comedy. Central hey could you pull up Andres. Holtz's video for about Comedy Central. please on his Instagram I love this. Schultz. call me on the way I'm here he did yeah. how's he doing good yeah yeah he's. always good huh yeah he's got a good. disposition yes he does God lucky. bastard precentral got fired last week.

oh I heard like every executive car be. central got fired last week. that's that's Takashi right there that's.

crazy man yeah I mean we're talking. about a yesterday they have passed on so. many I mean I like yeah and I've never. understood like why they wouldn't just. give people the benefit meaning sign. people to like a three-year deal and go. just come up with a show for yourself. yeah and you can they go alright we'll. shoot it and then they're gonna do.

another one do another one do another. one. like just if you're I have a theory that. that they didn't ever really like the. shows that were hits for them like yeah. they didn't like South Park they found. crass Tosh Tosh they didn't like yeah. it's just Freddie. what they call Freddie yeah like off. what is this junk yeah that's what's. paying your salary yes that's the [ __ ]. that keeps like review and and Nathan. for you don't make money.

Tosh [ __ ] makes money Chappelle show. makes money they thought they'd I think. they didn't like the they didn't like. the tone it's just not like. sophisticated and buttoned up so it. wasn't a daily show was kind of created. in-house Doug Herzog who was the. president was like we should do like a. Sports Center for the news right so that. and and they love John and that's a big. moneymaker and and Colbert was a [ __ ]. great show too like both very good shows.

and very profitable for them and then. but there now they had all the people. there had nothing to do with them so. they want to make sort of more sad City. and they want to make whitey Keppler. whatever that show was yeah they picked. up some it's like what is this it made a. lot of stuff that I felt like was ain't. like very leftist you know they didn't. say in the middle of the road at all. well they're not in the middle of the. people that work there are not middle of. road so that's what I'm saying they. think Tosh is Friday and Chappelle shows.

kind of Freddie and and South Park's. kind of Friday like they don't crazy. yeah. understand that that you would I don't. know I just it makes me mad cuz only. there's so many times and pitch them so. many things I spent a year developing. this really great project with them that. I think I'm probably getting up. releasing on YouTube you know it just. burns me up sometimes Manson yeah I did. a televised Mormon and they didn't pick. him up and I was always like you don't. want to just pick it up just cuz of.

Chappelle show just maybe just me I. don't know [ __ ] maybe I maybe I maybe. I'm good luck or something I am all I. always do well like I did an hour on. their network get rated really well yeah. they just I I don't I think certain. people they just don't they like who. they like and they don't like who they. don't like. yeah and there's nothing you can do. about it well they always think if girl. wants to sleep with you or not and you. can't be like don't you look at this tie.

it does I don't care i-i've already. decided right and they make their mind. up they like sophisticated alternative. Williamsburg II but Silver Lake II. that's their that's their the people who. works there's personality yeah and so. you seem cry you're like southern what. well then at a southern personal in the. network I can never since when you know. it's just so messed up because you know. they say they're like oh we want to you.

know we want to put alternative voices. and this and that but it's like to get. from you know a place in like a small. town in the south to get here and then. to be able to continue to like you know. weave your way through this place and. then you get to a level where you. finally have some opportunity and they. say oh no this isn't for you it's like. do you now [ __ ] hard it was to do. this yeah like just well bad I mean the. good news it's not really progressive.

it's like progressive is you know I. don't know it's high it's it is too. because like precip should just be the. funniest people but then they would get. in trouble in the press and amongst. their peers for not being more for not. being more representative and [ __ ] like. that like so it just comes down to like. I told. this one time I was like why people. don't make black movies cuz they don't. they go to a cocktail party make it a. black movie doesn't give you any cachet.

they're like Oh mmm like if you made if. you make like a Coen Brothers movie or. if you make like if you make No Country. for Old Men or Fargo that's and you go. to a cocktail party you're gonna [ __ ]. run that modify if you are you make a. Tyler Perry movie right if you make the. cupboard seven or whatever. yeah like so there's just no there's. like less incentive and that's like with.

a lot of TV execs they don't that their. circle is all liberal snobs and that's. the thing I was saying to you on the. phone yet so it was like as a comic. because we're comics we travel all the. time and we see people killing who we. don't agree with. so we every night we get our point of. view like support it and not support it.

so we know like arson yeah my point of. view is funny and I think it's right and. then I go on I talk my [ __ ] liberal. [ __ ] then you go on after me and do do. whatever I do do your thing you do as. well better around the same whatever so. I can't be like my point of view is the. only point like you can't as a comedian. I cannot think that cuz a I have to. travel to Dallas in Houston and Austin.

and New Orleans and like places where. people are not like me right but how. closed-minded is it to act like those. people's sense of humor isn't relevant. like that's the crazy I just think that. they're biased and they don't even on. those people's sense of humor is less is. just less sophisticated and what I would. say is they're not they're obviously. it's some of it is but there's some dumb. white there's some like it's not all.

[ __ ] Ernest goes to camp yeah and in. fact a lot. that's so old [ __ ] of course it'll have. it's almost like but by alienating a lot. of that part of the country you only. need a lot of great storytelling you. alienate you just alienate so much you. know yeah I just don't understand it so. now the good news is you can do your own. failed all your all the way to the bet. you know I mean like you failed you know. no one the it's hard because it's almost. like a marriage thing where we don't get.

that like ceremony of success that's the. thing you little thing you want a. [ __ ] trophy and a party and a ha ha. ha and we'll never get like you won't. get press coverage for this you won't. get I think most people look at your. views or downloads and be baffled you. don't even like you'd be like what for. that for just that they don't understand. fused by it yeah so that's the great.

thing about doing stand-up is like you. just go oh I'm not I'm like I'm me you. Joey Joe and Whitney could all go. back-to-back we all do around the same. as well and we all completely divergent. political points of view or cultural. points of view and that's what's [ __ ]. awesome about it. yeah and that's how their network should. be I feel like a lot of times or how it. should have been right they don't know. how to I think I told you that they. didn't know the Chappelle show when we. first started they would they would go.

like this isn't they like wouldn't like. jokes or sketches and we're like can we. show it to the crowd do you mind yeah. and then we show it to the crowd and it. would kill and the first couple episodes. they were like well your crowd is an. hour crowd it was like what what what. are you talk it was just people with. biases yeah didn't want to believe that. this thing that they couldn't if they. didn't understand it and then finally. after six episodes they said we don't. understand it and you can kind of do.

whatever you want because they didn't. mess it up man I mean it just to just. act like something doesn't exist yeah. it's almost the crazy thing yeah times. bias exists yes the most it's almost. worse to me than like a. it's a racism in a way it's like a it's. a classism it's a it's a it's it's like. cultural snobbery and its cultural.

bigotry in a weird way. yeah like prejudging you because you. have a mullet and then you get your hair. cut in a garage I accept you yeah no no. but that's the thing it's like they. would go like what Baird you're like a. [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] you're a. [ __ ] Gator man or whatever the. [ __ ] what was the Gator [ __ ] like oh. this boys means you're so you're a Swamp. Thing like they're you're so far off the. but the good news is you can do this you.

can invest a little bit of money in your. own cameras and your huh and you make. great money and you get the underdog. status that is its own reward like it's. more rewarding than you would actually. yeah you're like it is you'll feel like. everyone's rooting for you there's. always a little something you want that. wedding though there's always a line no. because I think I think you just want to. be told your very heart of the group. yeah that's the thing it's like it's the.

thing of like oh you don't exist mm-hmm. it's like man that's how I felt most of. my life why I even had to [ __ ] start. telling jokes and then I get all the way. here to California yeah the place where. it's like come here if you feel like. this and I get there and it's not even. about feeling like that yeah it's not. about that really it's about oh it's. really. oh we determine if you are okay or not. you're like oh so this is exactly the. same thing that I did that I disprove. once is that you're telling that I left. this yes exactly the same thing that.

ignited all this in me in the beginning. yes is that we we don't see you yeah. yeah seen by us you know and I think the. it's just no okay you know it is it's. like it's it's kind of painful and. unfair it is it's like and I don't they. it's a limited thing they have a limited. resource they only can show somebody. shut whatever I get that but as people. that feel like way we're sensitive.

we work hard and it's very hard to and. do you have not the amount of times. I'm told you're invisible people would. be baffled by yeah you had one of the. biggest shows yeah but like I get so I. do big show. I'm talking about like in stand-up. anything in where it's like I big show I. do a big show and then do a Netflix. special its popular and good and then I. do a half-hour Netflix popular and good. and then like Dave Chappelle's getting.

honored by the Kennedy Center and they. go will you write for this I'm like will. I write for it no not even a little bit. will I write for it it's just like this. constant heat-seeking and it's never. Merritt it's never just like I think. you're [ __ ] funny yeah it's just no. one's making any it's just weird it's. like yeah why would you spend your whole. life afraid to make a choice or have. people on that are like if you have a.

show with podcasts whatever like just. have people on that you're [ __ ] good. instead of like mmm let me see how many. followers do you have. what's the worst and it became about. yeah I mean [ __ ] damn bruh you know yeah. and that's but that's what I like about. Joe's success is that he truly just did. the thing he liked like UFOs he liked. UFC he liked drugs he liked weed he. liked [ __ ] conspiracies he liked and.

he just was like oh talk about that. let's get somebody is what comedy and it. just becomes like great and he had. people on based on I want to have you on. I don't know if you're popular I don't. know anything about you other than I saw. you and I thought you were good not like. mmm there's no calculation and there's. no like what you seem cold are using. like they they just were like you're. good. that's it full stop there you do well. you kill yeah that's what it's like.

almost like the combine thing where I. almost feel like if you do a show and. you get laughs above a certain decibel. meter yeah you're good right you can do. you're allowed to do whatever you are. not anything you want but did you see. like well what's the it's just you. personally it's just you say no when. it's not based on [ __ ] anything yeah. other than your taste and your biases. yeah it's crazy it's crazy how you can. just I'd never felt more it was a couple. years ago man especially right when all. the trumps over whenever like the.

political I remember you were like mad. for a year uh I just because I just like. man I was like man I'm work this is. where he's supposed to come if you want. to be open-minded and think about things. and you know and this is where and it. just wasn't that it was just a lie you. know yeah and it was like oh so you're. telling me that we don't judge people we. don't look at this but then that's. exactly what I worked so hard to get my.

head out of the ground on Groundhog's. Day yeah well a lot of times it's like. people they don't they're not against. bullying they're not against racism. they're against bullying against them um. playing against racism against their. group or their they're not against it at. large so that's why these nerves turn it. on ya know I know I know it's like. that's why it's like I know I know and. you know I know yeah you know I know. what you're feeling and that's like like.

I'm a like I was thinking on the way. over here like we're similar in that. word like not exactly of either thing. you're not exactly I'm sure people in in. Louisiana think you've a little. Hollywood and people in Hollywood think. your little Louisiana and you're like I. and I'm like a nerd but all the others I. think I'm a jock and all the jocks think.

I'm a nerd I'm like and and the and. white people think I'm black yeah and. black people think I'm white and I'm. just like ah I and you end up feeling. isolated yeah and and it's like it's a. source of frustration frustration it's. also a source of though like I mean you. know I'm kind of wallowing in that a. little bit I'm almost getting into. self-pity a little bit but it's like. yeah it's also a source of like oh this. is what drugs probably always driven me. so in. thank I'm glad they that they served.

another dose I'm glad that you have guys. like Schultz who are like I'm free. enough to say what I want you know yeah. but that's the great but the funny thing. is like all things comedy or any. podcasting network is gonna be more. valuable in Comedy Central in five years. yeah so as much as it's like it's just. one of those things of like you're. getting your 40 you see cycles now and.

you're like oh [ __ ] okay that's. surprising but like I made a bunch of. money on DVDs what yeah what our DVD. like there's George Lucas made money on. VHS laserdisc DVDs and now digital like. you just have to stick around long. enough right to and if you're and I was.

talking to a buddy of mine who's who's a. musician and by the way no one feels. like they've made it that's the other. thing I've learned is no one feels like. I'm on top of the world like they. everyone's like has a list of [ __ ]. grab grievances and people that [ __ ]. him over and and way things I'll they'll. never give me they'll never give me that. like everybody who's got who's a big. singer and he's trying to get a he's. like I need two more hits then they. can't say [ __ ] to me oh wow and you're.

like you still and you I'll tell you. after who it is you'll be like that's oh. god no one feels like they've done. enough and no one feels respected enough. no one feels like legitimized enough. even though you know the most legitimize. people that's the good news now I would. say that you and I have a legitimate. grievance yeah I mean it's I think it's. just that thing I think it's and you. want to feel like you belong that other. thing is more than anything it's like.

I'm mad I'm not on this you probably are. like I'm not mad but I'm my own here no. no but you know what I mean like I. there's all these colonists yeah and. you're like I don't I mean I know what I. no in the ways I'm not like these guys. and I know the way I am like but but we. all want to be in the right we all want. to be included yeah that's all we all. it's all we want at all yeah yeah like. we just want to be included and it's. hard and that's I think the thing that. liberals don't understand about.

conservatives in the last five years. it's just like it's just been. they've just been excluded for so long. culturally and a bunch other ways that. it's like [ __ ] you this guy at least. cares. this guy's like me right more I mean now. having said that he's not at all like. Jared Kushner and [ __ ] though it's. there the wood they're worse than any. liberal you never meet but I'm saying. like like I get I get it I get the anger.

and resentment you feel from being. excluded and looked past yeah that's the. thing I think just not being seen yeah I. think everybody feels that you think. Nick mmm-hmm everybody wants to be. included you know like I feel bad. sometimes we're doing an episode or not. on talked to Nick like I mentioned Nick. you know it's like yeah not because I. think Nick's sitting there thinking oh I. wish you would mention me but it's like. but you did you're a hypocrite if you. don't think that you're a hypocrite if. you're like we're not left right many of.

our the lights on us good stay back. behind that glass monster Clutton if I. close the door the door the open doors. freaking me out a breath and get. underwater somewhere but no it's just. because I I know that everybody wants to. feel mentioned everybody wants to feel. yeah we just want to feel like a part of. something yeah which i think is one of. the reasons why people come out to LA a. lot of times because they maybe some. people anyway yeah they didn't fit in. where they wouldn't fit in they didn't.

feel a part of something that they. didn't feel like yeah they had the full. feeling um yeah but I'm not I'm not. I get it and it's I'm like I heard. Nipsey Hussle one time I say this to. Dave and then Nipsey Hussle said a. version of it what I used to say to Dave. is like before Chappelle show like his. curves [ __ ] [ __ ] halfway came out. didn't do good did another mom who. didn't do good he was just like mad and. pissed off and like floundering kind of. and I was like York they'll they'll let. you back in but you're gonna have to.

walk and they're not gonna give you a. ride they're not gonna make it easier in. any way and nipsey hussle said he's like. yeah I'll get I just have to take the. steps mm-hmm like you're not you just. get to the point we got I'm never gonna. be given there never you're never gettin. a wedding right I'm never getting a. wedding I will never get that like that. marriage ironic yeah I will never get.

the marriage to I will never get I will. never feel the love and the acceptance. that I would get from being like I. auditioned and they said you're gonna. we're gonna put you on a show and then I. did a show and that was a hit and then I. decided eh I want to sing and then I. said like it knows it's not like a it's. like well yeah and people shits on you. like looking down at you and like it's.

just never and it's the sewer man yeah. and all it does it just makes you more. empathetic and makes you and it makes. people root for you yeah I don't think. you will ever not that's the thing as. much as your you think your Sabinas is a. liability but it's not it's it was now. it's it's selling point yeah you know. like um well think that's a nice. compliment I think but I but it's but.

it's also it's true it's like now I I. don't know why is great your listeners. or most of your most of your viewers are. but it's they're all over just regular. people really that's what I mean and. they're not it's not fancy it's not. fancy it's not Hollywood it's not like. it's also not premeditated yeah it's. like and so you see it as like for you. to be like that's [ __ ] swamp things. here and now it's like [ __ ] swamp. things yeah it's like goes from are like.

the Rat King like this [ __ ] rat Kings. out here and now it's like [ __ ] Rock. but I come back soon man yeah people are. excited yeah dude we sold 70 Rhett it we. sell it with Tunnel Rat King shirts man. yeah. and it's fun being the Rat King - of. course and it's fun that the whole world. is turning into WWE man that's what I. think about like like we're talking. about like what's-his-name turning into. the heel Hulk Hogan you know and I have. one question so you and Dave Chappelle.

you guys are on talking terms now right. yeah and what you guys were so for a. long time because what was that like you. guys who had a we were and it's okay we. were not we the way the show went. basically the way the negotiation after. this show got popular was just not like. good did you have a were you able were. you guys negotiating together with. Comedy Central or you guys were notion.

ago she a ting separate kinda separately. right so we're and that's the problem. you know that's and I told them before. we started good you know they're gonna. play divide and conquer they have to pay. you they don't have to pay me so the. only way they'll pay me is if you make. them and then they would they played him. there it's just so many people come. between when something's popular it just. you just get layers of people that want.

to seem more important and want to seem. like they're doing things for of course. to protect David who but it's not David. was Dave in that case but it's a bunch. of people it can be just [ __ ] and so. someone who actually is making the thing. they resent me. do you know main cause like they're just. they're not writing that directing it on. in the [ __ ] you mean like like an. executive like not executives like more. like lawyers agents man oh yeah they.

resent you because you have to be. included because I'm Marty I do the show. right they're not I didn't just I don't. call and I make the show deej so good so. then that creates separation and then. and then he left and it was [ __ ] like. that added to it wasn't prized when he. left. I mean like in retrospect not really but. that's a pretty big swing yeah okay what. do you guys think yeah like going to.

Africa is like that's pretty big like I. didn't see that coming although like it. that's exactly out of proportion. that's as out of proportion as the rest. of the show where it's like the most. popular [ __ ] and then like what's teach. leaving the show version of the Rick. James sketch going to Africa right not. telling anyone all right I'll do that so. there's that and then we didn't really. speak we spoke a little bit and then.

since like we've been cool since like oh. seven yeah yeah I know you guys are I. know you guys have a have been for a. while did whenever you watch the last. dance did you think of yourself like a. Scottie Pippen at all of course yeah. I watch I mean I said it in frame I. sitting Scottie Pippen I was like it's. like being on team with Michael turn and. so it's funny seeing pip and get man. it's like I want to call him be like pip. there's nothing we can do yeah he's. going there's just nothing you can do. it's I'm gonna [ __ ] worry about how.

to play for Birmingham yeah you know. yeah and there's nothing and also like I. gotta get my did it. they can't yeah the audience only. understands single they don't know no. one's ever been on like even when they. say a dream team one of them's better. yeah they always just like LeBron and D. Wade LeBron right capital LeBron smaller. D Wade or. LeBron and Anthony Davis like but the. mixture makes it of course right but and.

then if your day but I don't want to. [ __ ] acknowledge a mixture with a. [ __ ] white person yeah you know I. mean and I get well you know what I mean. like yes and if you'd have been black do. you think that the show would have been. picked up for another season then well. it wasn't picked up it was picked up if. I do in black that's a really good. question. I don't it's impossible to know it would. have been a little now but then it yeah.

it there's a different there would have. been different. if I were black there would have been. like a lot of the same ones and then a. it's a host of other ones that I'd. probably don't even realize right but. but no of course so it's like they don't. you watch it and you go yes can't even. [ __ ] great yeah it's just not as. great as yeah he shows up it's not as. good as if it's like the I that deal. that all the time like there was a there. was a I went on after Dave at the Comedy.

Cellar one time and the the emcee was. like thanks guys co-creator Chappelle. show did it and I go and I go on I'm. like but Co greater Chappelle show was a. really good credit unless Dave just went. on and then it's nothing it's like it's. interesting unless the [ __ ] guy was. just here it's not there you're just. like oh so I get the it's just an.

insurmountable I don't but I will say. I'm not I'm not jealous. I'm not really jealous of David mm-hmm. even Chris Rock said that one time he's. like you're just not jealous you're just. I don't like I'm Matt I have like. personal argument [ __ ] with Dave but I'm. not like I'm I should have been Rick. James yeah I'm like [ __ ] two very. different skills yeah and and so I'm.

happy to be myself and and to the. underdog thing it is fun to climb out of. it yeah it's [ __ ] but sometimes I. look at my career and like this is a. [ __ ] miracle wow it's a miracle that. like I was a writer for a TV show that. was really popular and now I'm like kind. of famous comedian yeah that's [ __ ]. impossible like I wasn't a comedian and.

then I like figured out how to do it and. like it's it's crazy yeah and I'm not. even like it suck my dick like I just. mean like right now I think about it I. you just get like objective you look at. your career objectively your life. objectively. you have to look at things yeah I mean. even looking back on on Chappelle can. you see like we see a just under you. think like looking back now and knowing. how we see like people get stressed and. the overwhelmingness of things do you.

yeah I think it's just stress and I. think it's not it just once things are. not fun it's not and also once you're. talking about that much money and people. know how much money you're making and. it's on the cover of the paper and it's. like seeds they're not it's like yeah. it's it's it's like the difference I. said this to a basketball player like. there between a rookie contract and a. max deal rookie contract everyone feels. like they're even if you're the best. rookie they're like yeah you making five.

million bucks. that's pretty [ __ ] good and then you. get your max - you're making 33 million. a year and they're like I don't know. what you're gonna do but it [ __ ]. better be good go go go. show me mr. 33 million dollars and it's. just a less fun position to be in. yeah which is the thing of having never. had a wedding. like you know we'll we'll never get I. don't think anyone will ever be like.

okay mr. smartypants or whatever like I. don't think that that's the thing that. we may never have to deal with and that. which is good which is a good that's an. advantage that we don't have to we'll. have to deal with like it's not as good. as this last thing or any of that stuff. but it'll never be like I feel like Joe. somehow got around it I don't think. anyone resented him and I think it has. to do with his looks and clothes and. habits I don't think it's habit yeah. this happens - he lists people up a lot.

you know yeah he does I feel like. include people a lot yeah so that's the. but I don't. but like you know me and Dave argued. about it for six hours like three weeks. ago. really oh that's fine it's [ __ ]. hilarious. it's Hilaire it's so interesting but. yeah what I mean what a comment cuz ya. like to think that it to go then to. Comedy Central and they won't give you a. new show and then you're like wow I mean. you had to feel well they wanted me to. produce black sketch shows that I can do.

til I die they'll give me please. yeah you got blank check for that but. I'm like I don't want not what I wasn't. even it was a black sketcher but it was. more just as show about Dave it wasn't. like and then black something black will. happen somebody do blackness and so yeah. it is. I don't get many opportunities they. there's just people have a bias against. me and that I don't understand oh.

because I get I was watching an old clip. of mine from eight years ago cuz I. thought I was good I was like I'm good. and everyone be like no no no. so and somebody who like literally said. comedian X is better than you and I was. like okay so I sent him a clip from my. Comedy Central half-hour I did get on. Comedy Central barely a half hour of a.

joke from eight years ago and it was a. [ __ ] good joke and I was like so why. did you tell me that someone so it was. better than me. and he was like I don't know I just had. a bias I said about and it's like people. don't want it something about me people. think I'm racist people think I'm. arrogant people think I'm cold I don't. know but it's not I'm I just don't get. the benefit at it up damn yeah but I. guess who wants to benefit of the doubt. right Nick yeah yes Dan your hope we.

don't serve it here and now don't put me. on here because I don't want to feel. like I do yeah do not put me on I will. say we didn't pick those people it was. just that maneater. we didn't who did it just the guy this. guy Papio to New Zealand oh gotta go. people he listened junior touched this. one day and Gianni was like we should. put it on the wall. how did you out of the blue and sent you. the thing okay God Nick doesn't Nick. hates it he looks like himself I look. all sad I'm a pretty chipper guy I think.

they got you they really have you but. it's so funny man the feeling of like. yeah I'm not included you're like I'm. not at the wall at the improv and we. didn't have it but yeah right yeah and. I'm just waiting to do it. what why not I know why not all right. isn't he does not know that that we. didn't even really have anything to do I. know and then I make this narrative up. yeah about how all you guys think and I. mean while you don't it has him across. your mind you haven't and but but that's.

what the human [ __ ] brain does yeah. we just want to be included man yeah. Neal Brennan thank you so much man. [Music]. [Music].

little town for me to sell that parking. brake and let myself on my. [Music]. [Music].