Ms. Pat | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #383
today's guest uh i'm grateful to finally. have her in studio um she is from. atlanta but has been living in indiana. for quite some time uh we'll hear more. about it uh she is the creator and star. of the miss pat show which is currently. on bet plus. and paramount plus she also has her new. special on netflix you can check it out. it's called y'all want to hear something. crazy. she's my new friend and she brought some.
beautiful ladies with her i'll say that. some real lookers. um. the hilarious miss path. [Music]. i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music].
[Applause]. um so you're moving back to atlanta are. you excited are you um i just moved back. i am excited um. i shoot the show there i shoot the miss. pat show there and i shot my special day. i'm from atlanta so my husband just. retired and i was like look i'm ready to. get [ __ ] out of indiana let's go home. yeah so i bought some i bought some land.
and i'm building on it dang. what y'all gonna have like anything. special at the house like anything you. always wanted um i wanted a podcast. studio because right now i was doing it. i was doing it a little bit everywhere i. do it on zoom and then when i was in. indy i would do it out of my movie. theater room so i really want to get big. time like you and everybody else so i. built the podcast studio um outside the. house oh nice yeah and y'all gonna have. what else a pool. a pool a basketball court oh nice it's. gonna be all right yeah.
you got any fancy neighbors like is it. in a fancy place no it's not in a fancy. place 12 people every the youngest. person might be 65 at y'all's house. little small neighborhood and it had. some a couple acreages and i just bought. it damn i knew i wanted a big house but. i didn't want a big mortgage yeah so i. just found some land and i told the. house down and i'm gonna get with it. damn and who's gonna live at the house. with you your husband you um i have four. kids that i have custody of my niece. kids and then i have a 21 or 22 and a 23.
year old damn they have three grandkids. uh and my son they live nearby yeah your. life's crazy i felt even just a half. hour of your your special i felt like i. watched it like it remind me of the wire. remember that show. oh yeah i was it took a long time for me. to get into the wire me too my husband. is a christian i mean he grew up. christian so and i grew up you know of. course selling drugs you know my. background and he was kept raving about. you got to wash his shoulder i don't.
want to watch that [ __ ] i love that. [ __ ] and one day i sit down and i watch. the wire i was like oh my god this [ __ ]. is so [ __ ] real yeah they did a good. job they did a good [ __ ] job but i. think i got into it like in the fourth. season oh yeah really yeah yeah oh yeah. i didn't get into it i don't think until. like one year ago really yeah oh my god. that's that's one of the best. underrated shows that was out there and. it was so [ __ ] real yeah i could. really relate you know what show i. really missed was in the heat of the. night do you remember that show i do.
remember you don't know i remember that. show yeah it was good huh you're telling. your age theory. what i'm showing my age yeah oh yeah. sorry that's why they need to do a. remake so i can sound really like i know. what like i just miss i. dude i saw the lady from in the heat of. the night one time eating breakfast with. her husband. i lost my mind do you remember the. detective his wife. not quite you know who i remember from. the heat of the night is the uh the.
black dude and then the officer the. other other one oh yeah carol o'connor. you're carol o'connell. the black guy virgil tibbs that was his. name his wife was althea and i saw her. at the breakfast place and i really lost. it oh wow i've never heard nobody say. they was crazy about the heat of the. night yeah i loved it. i really loved it my [ __ ] was dukes of. hazzle back in that area really i had. you like them country boys well i'm from. the south and you know uh everybody's. going crazy over daisy duke you know. because i was really young and um the.
boys were going crazy uh uh beau duke is. who i thought was [ __ ] drop gorgeous. damn oh i had the biggest crush on bo. duke let's pull him up colin can we get. bo duke up there. back in the day and one of them is a uh. homosexual man i think isn't he. one of them loved men yeah or preferred. men. where do you get this they didn't say it. oh i think everybody knows it i think. the one with the black hair. i think he might have been.
i don't tell me my baby daddy i know i. think you might have been lusting after. that man man. that's bull right there one with the. blonde hair yeah what about the picture. with that hat with just a nose shirt on. oh everybody loved bo duke bacon today. yeah he was good huh yeah. i think they down in georgia aren't they. um i don't know. bo duke. i don't know one of them i think. preferred me and i could be wrong but. i don't know so.
so your husband i heard you met him and. he was in the military and then uh. and and now he's done he's retired he. retired he um he um what was he six. seven years in the military or something. like that and when i met him he had just. got out so he was really young. and um he worked for general motors he. makes the allison transmission for the. military division oh wow and so he. retired about two two three months ago. dang in december he retired is it weird. because some people say when people get. retired then it gets weird around the.
house because somebody's around more but. i'm never around so i'm just like. literally i do i do morning radio fv 103. in atlanta and then i gotta leave there. and i go to set and if i'm not doing sit. i'm i'm [ __ ] traveling but it's a. little weird having him home during the. day i think he's bored out his mind and. i'm like what do you want to do i'm cool. i'm cool like you want to come see me. take the show cause he's in front of a. live studio audience i'm cool i'm cool. so i just i think he's just got a jest. because my husband's so used to being.
head of the household and he's been. working a whole [ __ ] marriage since. i've known him and this is first time. nev not having a job yeah so i think. he's kind of. a jest to the [ __ ] yeah. yeah i got to get a wife or something. one day i um yeah i only ever been with. one black woman in my life and uh. she had like you know it's legal i know. i know yeah yeah. ain't nobody stop you theo. that mullet you rocking might be.
stopping. [Laughter]. a black woman [ __ ] a white dude with a. [ __ ] oh we about to change the. game man you need to cut that. [ __ ] mullet oh i don't know. baby this is really my fire powers in. there well you need to explain to the. black get my fire power it ain't what. you thinking okay okay.
yeah yeah no it's not like a racist. emblem it's just my i just feel more. confident well you don't have on the. confederate flag but it's just it's the. haircut it is huh black women's are very. petite about what they mean look like. yeah you never that's why you never. that's why you never really see black. men with dirty shoes. they just ain't got no money right but. if you fly you're gonna always see black. men with clean shoes on yeah black. people always smell real exciting. and exciting.
yeah oh dude you know if a [ __ ]. you'll meet a brother he smells like a. damn bath and body works you know what. i'm saying sometimes black people. i feel like they a lot of times they. just are more. yeah flashy flashy yeah we you know like. why is it why is it. is it just because we make everything. look good yeah i mean if you want to. sell something let's be honest who you. take it to you take it to the. african-american uh you take it to the. black people because we make everything. flash blood how are you doing that wrong.
yeah i mean think about it how many. white athletes got a shoe. um. oh your boy um tom brady had some uggs. yeah yeah yeah that's true. and then uh oh boy larry bird had the. converse and only because him and um. magic had that thing going on back in. here yeah. it's really hard you gotta i don't think. black people buy a white shoe that's a. good point huh yeah because you know we. we you want something to sell you taking.
it off damn huh. yeah we walk in advertisement all the. time we turn anything hot and fresh yeah. huh yeah i think i uh people always look. to the black community for like what's. cool huh. what were the coolest people on earth. yeah. nobody's cooler than us that's why we. cop it. yeah let me think who else could be. maybe aliens i heard somewhere that. black people and aliens don't get along. did you ever hear is that like a thing. in the black culture do you really think. alien is [ __ ] real. i mean. they got it they got to have some of.
them well how many how many times do you. think a black person made an alien. i don't know do you know anything. [ __ ] no are you serious. i don't know if you guys are telling not. saying something oh who the [ __ ] yeah i. think it knows this white people y'all. [ __ ] know if it was aliens. before us we mind all [ __ ] kids. you ain't never heard no black people. i'm just gonna go to the moon and [ __ ]. with these people in the sky. that's white people [ __ ] that ain't all. [ __ ] the [ __ ] are you talking yeah. that's probably true aliens and black.
people don't get along what the [ __ ]. that's supposed to be i don't know. that's just what i heard that's like. something i heard through the grapevine. over the years that's like an old wives. tale or something you know well let me. well i've heard all white men dixie. small that ain't true is it no well. thank you yeah yeah yeah yeah. you hurry up and defend that no. absolutely not. oh that's wild. um. what else is going on today. not much really just chilling pretty. much you know. i'm trying to think of something else.
super that's exciting so you got your. special out yeah yeah and i watched. about 30 minutes of it last night it was. awesome you tell so many jokes i mean. you just. thank you um robert townsend directed it. and um. it wasn't easy getting together with him. boy he worked the [ __ ] out of me really. i had to meet with him once once a week. for four hours a day on zoom and do my. whole set and he would take it and twist. it he would listen to every set i did. out on the road and hit me back that.
monday and said this is what we're gonna. work on this wednesday are you serious. yes i've never heard of a director doing. that i haven't either but. you know to step to robert townsend and. say you want him to direct your special. when he only did raw for eddie murphy uh. i think i hope i said the right one for. eddie murphy but he did eddie murphy raw. and he did bill cosby last one to step. to say you want him to direct your. special that was huge wow and he was. like no and i was like i need you i knew. i just needed him you know i just felt.
like he was a director that would care. that would sit down this is my first. special i really wanted to be good. and. it took a minute but he finally came. through and he directed it for me and it. was not easy work wow he really put you. through it he put me through it i mean. and so i was supposed to tape it a year. earlier but the pandemic hit yeah so he. came on right after the rat after the. pandemic hit i think and he worked the. dog [ __ ] out of me damn i would call him. again if i got another special because.
you know when you drop a space you. really worry about you know do people. don't think it's funny is it gonna flow. right i didn't watch it i watched the. cuts and put together but i don't really. want to be you know because i'm scared. i'm scared what people are going to. think about it yeah and i just started. to look at the feedback and people oh my. god it's so good it's so funny just joe. it reminds me of comedy back in the day. and you know because i'm not i'm not i. say what the [ __ ] i want to say oh yeah. you do for sure more than anybody i. think i've heard in a long time yeah so. i mean you know the council culture.
um they out there i mean. i'm not worried about them i'm gonna say. what the [ __ ] i want to say you digest. it how the [ __ ] you want to see it yeah. and um one of the things uh that was. really robert really liked the thing i. did at the end i don't know if you got. to the end my daughter is gay and um i. tell all of these bits about my daughter. being gay and i do this whole speech at. the end about. you know. um. which. at first i didn't think they was gonna. take it so i said i said no matter what. you've been through in life learn how to.
laugh at it i don't give a [ __ ] and. somebody stuck their thumb up your ass. if they didn't get past the knuckle you. won yeah. and netflix was like what the [ __ ]. but that's what i've been saying on. stage. with that hour i had for the longest. because i mean i won't i don't give a. [ __ ] what you've been through yeah you. can get through it if you believe that. you can get through it the mind is a. strong muscle it take on what you put in. it yeah if you say i'm depressed it. gonna be it going your mind will make.
your whole body depressed so i don't use. words like unhappy and depressing i. can't i tell a [ __ ] it ain't. that's not a such thing as you can't. that's a yes some way if you keep trying. wow. yeah that's a good attitude yeah i. recently been thinking that like. whatever i thought if i have a thought. it becomes a feeling so i got to be real. careful about what my thoughts are yeah. because if you say if you tell yourself. that you're not good your mind will make. your whole body feel like you're not him. and and i've just learned that i learned. that actually from a teacher her name.
was miss troupe she said you can do and. be anything in the [ __ ] world you. want to be the dumbest question is the. question not x and i've that made me ask. people any [ __ ] thing i wanted to ask. them but it's so funny because a lot of. people will hear a teacher say something. like that right and. because probably teachers say that to. everybody in a way but it's a lot of. time it doesn't activate in us you know. i wonder what made it that act you know. what i'm saying it's kind of interesting. how. this teacher spent a lot of time with me. because i was i grew up in the inner. city of atlanta in the ghetto and and.
she would you know like she taught me. how to read and and you know she just. instilled a lot of things in me that my. mama did yeah and i'm i'm 50 now and i. still quote her to this day wow when i'm. down and out i said miss troops that i. can do and being the [ __ ] thing i. want to be when i went to my husband. said i'm gonna be a comedian he's like. girl because i'm a convicted fellow he's. like just keep the [ __ ] job at. general moto i'm like no. i i want to be a comedian this [ __ ] look. easy i'm having fun you get to eat cause.
everybody start doing comedy well at. least i did to eat the free food and. drinks and [ __ ] yeah it's nice and he's. like i get to eat it and hey you get. that little attention and i was like. just keep the [ __ ] job in general i. say no. i'm gonna be a [ __ ] comedian he's. like oh no this [ __ ] just don't want to. work. [Laughter]. that is true a lot of comedians they. because part of the temptation the. beginning is this [ __ ] does not feel. like a real job it feels kind of if you. have a natural acclimation of being. making people laugh you're like this. [ __ ] is easy it's easy it's fun you.
hanging out with people you like you up. all night you get them twenty thirty. dollars and you know them if you look. especially like if you ain't got no real. bills uh or you are you a waiter or. something and you go to your job during. the day but it's so much fun at night to. hang around people that you really. [ __ ] like that do what you do and you. watch everybody turn that [ __ ]. happiness into a struggle where they. trying to make it or trying to make this. [ __ ] work for them so this is all they. got to do because this is what they love.
to do yeah. yeah there is something that's kind of. beautiful about it in that sense you. know. do you think sometimes i feel like. strippers i notice a similarity between. strippers and comedians do you ever feel. that way a little bit now i don't know a. goddamn thing about strippers i'm fatter. than a [ __ ] what the [ __ ] man. you think i know alien stripper what's. gonna be next for you theo i don't know. [ __ ] about i don't even go no [ __ ]. strip club i don't even like [ __ ] i. don't like my own [ __ ] so why am i. going to look at other people. you need to stay the [ __ ] out of them.
i don't like them either i'm just. thinking. everyday you do you asking me i've. noticed that company and [ __ ] go. together not for me. i don't know [ __ ] about no god damn. scripture fat [ __ ] built like me do. videos like. lizzo liza got shot didn't see it when i. got shot or not no you getting your. black folks mixed up that was uh making. a stand you got shot in the foot lizzie. was the the plus side won't he'll be. giving it to him on the internet he's.
gonna be throwing that thick at you yeah. [Laughter]. she look like if you grab her she'll. slip out your hand. oh you can't even get a hug on her you. can't even lock a hug i don't know what. kind of cocoa butter they use on lizzo. but i be like her ass is shiny and she. be throwing that flat at your ass.
she's beautiful bro i love me some lizzo. that's hilarious. um so why did you say you think comedy. and uh strippers go together because. it's like putting yourself out there. there's something about it like it's d. you're like putting whatever you have. inside of you out there both of us naked. because once you get on stage the script. is naked as a comedian you really don't. know if they're gonna last so you're. naked too yeah until you grab control. until you learn how to slide down that. pole yeah yeah yeah yeah so i i would.
agree with you a little bit a little bit. don't go i don't go to strip club i. don't i don't smell that [ __ ] in hell. yeah that's i guess that's true. i never real i guess well i remember the. first time i ever went me and my friend. lance were in uh louisville. and i was too young to get in but he. could get in so he'd go in and tell me. what it looked like and he'd come back. out and tell me and you know. show me the shape of the breasts with. his hands and everything like that you. know. he come in so he oh was you 10 no i was. probably 16 but we tried and they.
wouldn't let me in so he'd just be. describing everything to me and i was. sitting in the car did you get off with. that have me a couple beers i don't. remember if i did i probably did. is 16 having a cup of beers i mean i you. know i was just excited to stay in the. vehicle you know so he went inside and. he would come back out and just i'm. sorry you drinking bills at 16 yeah. where are you from i'm from louisiana oh. no wonder y'all you probably buying gay. putting hickeys on alligator necks and. scenes we did some they definitely had a. lot of i'm trying to think we had a lot. of look we had a lot of different.
animals in our area because i grew up in. an area nobody had pets people just had. animals you know like you would just see. an animal in your neighborhood you know. like a cat or you would see somebody or. just a dog would be there you know i. didn't grow up in an area with a lot of. like well they gave a [ __ ] about the. animal oh dude i remember the first time. i ever saw a dog in somebody's house bro. and they loved it that [ __ ] blew my mind. man i. when i was coming up you didn't dogs. wasn't in the house you could time up to. a tree yeah and i think i did that bit.
on my special i was like you do that. [ __ ] now you going to [ __ ] jail you. can't tie the dogs up to the trees. anymore i mean dog house dog houses are. obsolete you can't [ __ ] use them they. literally got to be treated like you and. i was like [ __ ] you you can't you don't. even work yeah so why am i treating you. like me yeah at least the dogs in alaska. and stuff they're doing sled and they. doing work during the day but yeah these. just a lot of local animals bro they. really just a lot of them don't pull. their weight you know don't pull they. wait.
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50 states. special offer for this past weekend. listeners yup that's you guys. if you're struggling. i've been there i've used better help. get 10 off your first month at. betterhelp.com. t-h-e-o oh thank you that's my gay. daughter she let me give her a gay shout. out oh yeah she is. and she's very beautiful we'll have to. put her picture on her instagram up. okay dang there you go and so does she. let you pick out any of the ladies she. likes her mother doesn't matter uh she. be picking out them little rough [ __ ].
she does yeah. them gang but she likes what do you mean. like the w and like the centers. no she just she's rolling with them. shooting guards oh they're shooting. guards no they be big [ __ ]. maybe i don't know she. we have a running joke with her she. don't keep them long yeah yeah they got. to make it a three thanksgiving before. they really be a part of the family that. makes sense kind of i think that's. realistic. do um. do a lot of uh.
is it do people keep being gay a secret. more in black culture than they do you. think and. i mean i only know really white culture. you know i was around black culture like. growing up but i wasn't black so i could. just guess you know. um but if you like if you around black. culture you you know black culture. i i didn't grow around white people but. i moved around and i lit i realized they. love leaving [ __ ] at your door they. baked food. what was your question. yeah it's kind of like prison a little. bit they didn't bring you a baked good. yeah i always bring your [ __ ] baked.
goods i mean when i live in any now i'm. like god damn white people stop bringing. [ __ ] to the door we ain't even eating. this [ __ ]. but my neighbors were great in. plainfield indiana what was your. question um. do is it more okay. it was when i was coming up they just. call them punks when i was coming up you. don't give a [ __ ] what you say do you i. don't know. that's what they called him when i was. coming up but like when my daughter came.
out and i'm 50. so i would use the word. bull dagger and she was like mama you. can't say the word boy dyker and i'm. like why she said cuz nobody says that. anymore and it's just like a white. person called you in word i was like. when the [ __ ] did they change it today. so. on my sitcom we did a whole episode. about using derogatory words and you. can't say stuff like they're called. lesbians uh-huh a studs so you can't say. bulldogs and there's punks and you can't. call them yeah they can't say it you. lose your [ __ ] you you lose. everything or you'll gain a lot of.
people that talk that just believe in. just saying whatever they want that's. what i think about you i think i'm a fan. because she says what she wants to say. she i get the real her well i do i do. but i'm not if if i find out something. hurt you right i'm not gonna see it like. i tell you when i moved to indiana to be. honest with you i had never heard of the. word [ __ ]. and i was at a comedy club and this bla. this comedian called this white lady a. [ __ ] and she just boo hoo and i was like. what the [ __ ] is the [ __ ] and why she.
crying like that and she and one of the. committee like that is like a black man. called you a [ __ ] i was like hold on. white girl stop crying let's whoop this. [ __ ] ass. but i didn't know that so if i know that. you if i know something is going to hurt. you. i won't say it to you know. so i'm not going to say the f word i'm. not going i'm not going to call a. lesbian a bulldog because that is. derogatory but you know if i'm at the. house my daughter might get everything. yeah and that's okay that's different. yeah that's different that's different.
yeah i think people don't delineate kind. of what is different or what isn't. different you know. yeah you don't want to do anything you. know to hurt anyone but words have. changed you know i think i think this. generation. of people is a lot softer. you know they can't take the [ __ ] we. used to take you know they out you know. when we got bullied we just [ __ ] got. bullied and [ __ ] dealt with it and. showed the bullet 20 years later when. they fat and i had all the kids you. ain't [ __ ] these kids here immediately. you know can't take. criticism and stuff like that they you.
know they want to jump off a [ __ ]. bridge. you know it's like it's times have. changed so much where back in the day. when you were working i don't know if it. was hidden from us. or we just you know we just see it more. now like crabby oh that's interesting. yeah because before if somebody took. their life or something or we didn't. really hear about it no and now it's. like boom in your face you know this. person like why you know life is. beautiful but then. mental illness was not a fur.
forefront like it is today mental. illness used to be hilarious man you see. somebody that's mentally ill you're like. [ __ ] dog yeah they really it was your. uncle's and you know you wanted him. every uncle and uh every uncle was. mentally ill not everybody you know. everybody is 60 70. yeah we had a few that was you know but. now you can't pick at that stuff anymore. yeah you got to say. what the hell oh yeah rodney's not doing. well you got to say stuff like that yeah. yeah sometimes just have changed you.
know we we have to put up. we i think the world has have held us to. caring a little bit more caring about. each other you think. we should but yeah it's trying to get. there yeah i think that's a good point i. think it is trying to get there. do you think oh what was halloween like. in a black community what was that i. always wondered what that's like. it's like. i've heard comedian makes jokes about. you go to the white neighborhood to get. the big snickers. [Laughter]. but um it was like you just like every.
other halloweens i don't think. um i know in my community they didn't go. out on costumes like they do today and i. think it had a lot to do with people. couldn't afford them or they really. wasn't into one yeah and like my. mother-in-law she didn't believe in. halloween because she thought it was the. devil's day because she was super. christian and [ __ ] so you wasn't they. wasn't allowed to go trick-or-treating. and put on costumes and [ __ ] like that. but we were just going all regular. clothes yeah. yeah oh that's interesting.
yeah i think uh we used to get like oh. my dad was real old my dad was 70 when i. was born he was an old man. yeah that he was 70. yeah he was 70 he. was born in 1910 right so he was real. old. so he how the hell did that happen your. mom was selling [ __ ] no she was just. giving it out. and um but how was your mother 32 my. mother was 32 was your daddy rich no. and that's the crazy part. was they in tennessee no they was in. louisiana. are you serious yeah.
yeah mama [ __ ] a 90 year old me i mean. 70. yeah yeah 70. and he was handsome. guy but how long was he around after he. was born two weeks 86. [Laughter]. it felt like it man he was every time. every day i saw him like damn he's. getting smaller and smaller he's about. to meet me in the middle. that's what i feel like your daddy was.
86 yeah how was you when he died. 16. so i was getting pretty old but um jesus. [ __ ] christ yeah so it was why your. mama said she i'm interested why your. momma would [ __ ] somebody that old did. she did she need her [ __ ] trailer. paid for i don't know what she needed. my mother doesn't say anything about it. yes she doesn't say anything about it is. you the only well of course you don't. know we got four children i got two. years not by that old man yeah. not by that old man.
you might need to check your dna i. guarantee you that was a younger [ __ ]. up the street a younger person up the. street baby and you just put it on that. old man because he was taking care of. the house baby i don't he wasn't taking. care of much man dude the best things. i'm trying to think uh. my dad bought a cutlass right because we. lived right we lived in like in a black. and white neighborhood so my dad bought. a cutlass from a couple brothers around. the corner from us and it had like 22s. in the trunk right. so. he and he was. he couldn't even hear right so he would.
drive around listening to paul harvey. you remember that guy on the radio who. did like the weather report it was like. pole or like the old. dude he would listen to it would just it. would have had a ton of bass though it'd. be like the weather and like uh. it was like am radio and [ __ ] he would. listen to rush limbaugh just boom. you're dead it was a rush limbo person. yeah but he would listen to it with like. a ton of bass though it's different when. you're here with bass oh i bet it is. he's screaming he's screaming to a beat.
but it was a little bit different that. was interesting i guess. i can't get over your daddy who's your. granddad. my grandfather was born in 1880 which is. crazy. him and your daddy went to school. together. was he alive when you when you were born. no no he was gone that's the only reason. why your daddy got your mama because. your dad your granddad had already died. [ __ ] i've heard [ __ ] for rent money. but that's a look that's [ __ ] for. social security yeah that's the crazy. part i was like who's [ __ ] why i.
wouldn't i just didn't understand still. alive yeah she's still alive don't tell. me she got another old man oh no she she. married another guy but he was only 20. years older but he ended up passing away. but. everybody died with your mama too. [ __ ] yo mama like that's soft dick yeah. [ __ ]. she got like something how the [ __ ] a 70. year old man get no i don't know do um. yeah i guess maybe people's penises get. softer over time i don't know.
i'm not sure. i just know how much i mean i know how. you know my own penis over my own time. but i don't how old are you i'm 40 years. old i'm 41. it's coming damn. i don't want that man. nobody wants it but it can't stay hard. forever i'm telling you yo if that's. your daddy your mama's swallowed. i don't mean to be mean well i just. don't see no 70 year old man back.
back what do you know viagra to help. your daddy out back then so you got it. so if they had no viagra he was doing. that on sheer willpower and there's. something beautiful about that no ain't. no 70 year old man you. cause you talk like a brother too you. just got that joe dirk got a big ass. baby i do have kind of a big ass you. know we'll say that. black men ain't got no big ass i'm just. saying. you might need to check your dna you. might be a little bit of black oh dude.
i'll take a little yeah. yeah i'll take a little if i could get. it you know i wonder how you get that. white kid that gets really obsessed with. black culture like you know it's it's. funner. it's it's like it's a cool thing to do. and i felt like those kids i you know i. just like we rode on the same bus. it's funny because you say your daddy. listen to rush limbaugh yeah but that. was him that's cause i think that was. just another senior citizen you know. but he didn't try to spill that over. into your life no he wasn't.
no no my dad wasn't racist i think he. was just a republican but he wasn't. right he wasn't like a racist guy our. family wasn't like our family wasn't. like redneck or anything my dad was from. nicaragua and my mom was from illinois. but how the [ __ ] you end up with the. redneck haircut. it only looked good on you cause you. been rocking that [ __ ] for a long. no you remind me of vanilla ice. [Laughter]. ice ice baby.
i actually love that [ __ ] song it was. good huh well i heard you talking about. used to watch leave it to beaver i i. grew up watching yeah i used to like. live through the television shows yeah. so how do you think if you grew up like. in such an environment that was probably. so dangerous what do you really think i. know you too. oh okay yeah yeah sorry i mean because. you got to think um. if you know black culture back in those. days we wasn't. all of this black on black violence. wasn't happening that didn't happen to. crack hit the black community yeah then. that [ __ ] happened so when i was growing.
up it was just crazy it was just um. poverty. you know it was just poverty that's what. it was. you know and when you when you poor like. that as a kid you really don't know you. poor until you grow up and then look in. society tell you because a lot of [ __ ]. i didn't really learn that was wrong. until i became so i opened my mouth. about it and i became a comedian and i. was like people like i didn't grow up. like that and i was like you didn't grow. up like that your mom they cook in the. fireplace what the [ __ ] are your mama. doing cooking in the fireplace can we.
handle. so you know it was just poverty we were. just poor as hell yeah being poor. creates the most fun though cause you. got to be around each other more you. don't have things that occupy your time. i think you see more [ __ ] you do see. more [ __ ] you learn you learn something. called survivor yeah less stuff is. hidden from you. so i think when you're wealthy you get. to hide more you hide from other people. you can hide more from you get hedges. you get a yard you get distance between.
you get separate bedrooms you get all. these things where like everything is. kind of hidden. we had edges they were just walked on we. had a yeah we just walked. [Laughter]. wait a minute theo we all had everything. rich people had it just didn't look as. good as they [ __ ] did yeah. uh and we just cooked in a fireplace but. yeah i think. when you when you're wealthy um. you know. a lot more is given you know and when. you pour you got to earn a lot more yeah.
even with my kids i mean i'm not rich or. no [ __ ] like that but you know but y'all. getting fancier is it harder to not pat. is it harder to make your kids have the. same struggle that you had is that tough. well they don't have the same struggle. because their struggle ain't there no. more so. uh it's i have to learn to say no. i was like go get your own [ __ ] don't. tell me what you can't do when your. mama's sitting here with an eighth grade. education and the ged and look what the. [ __ ] i did now what the [ __ ] you gonna. do yeah so.
and i i don't have a problem with. telling them no yeah yeah get the [ __ ]. on there's my money no i'm not gonna do. that for you i'ma show you how to do it. for yourself. which one how many children do you have. of your own i have four 35 34 22 and 23. and which one was probably the. was it giving birth do you tell me about. that do you ever have any crazy giving. birthdays like days where you had to go. to the hospital and give birth because i. know you had a wild you had like a w. you've had a wild life you know very. wild compared to a lot of folks well i.
uh my first one i had at 14 that was. real easy. she popped out i can't even think about. that it feels illegal for me to even. think about that birthday. i can't even look at pictures from that. that's crazy i know right but i gave. birth at 14 and that was the easiest. pregnancy ever i mean she literally. popped out and i was riding my bicycles. in three days wow so um how big was she. you think she was nine pounds and my. last child was ten two. he really hurt.
and he always been like that kind of a. pain a little. well you know i a lot of parents don't. tell you this but i always tell them i. said i love all of my kids but every. parent got a favorite kid and then last. one is my favorite yeah and you tell it. oh yeah i tell them i said i love all. y'all but this is my favorite right here. what makes him a favorite i think cause. he was the last one he was 10-2 and. um that my husband didn't have any kids. when i met him so he took care of my my. two kids and my sister four kids then i. had a daughter buying.
and then when i had my last one was a. boy and i wanted to name it after him. and i kind of think that's why junebug. is my favorite because he's a junior oh. yeah. yeah we had a june bug bus growing up we. had a kid named junebug. junebug was everywhere everybody got a. junebug oh really. i think so yeah. i'm trying to think we stab i was always. in these black people had the cool. exciting names but i had theo and i got. to meet malcolm jamal warner one time. and i told him that my name was theo he. didn't really care but that's all right.
what the [ __ ] you want me to do because. you hey that anybody could be named theo. i probably gave you the same reaction. what [ __ ] you want me to say oh we got. saying daddy you're dead at 99. wow i'll say this business is off to a. good start this year you know we're. doing business and you know who else's. business did well last year. santa that's right.
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any kids. no i would like to get one i've been i. get i'm ready i think to get married i. think i'm talking about having a getting. a wife. you you talking about getting the white. are you dating theo i'm doing a little. bit of light dating but i'm ready to. really i think step it up. really i think so i'm ready. i'm ready to have a couple children. maybe now you um. you dating more than one woman are you. dating one woman i'm dating a little bit. of more than one. you know uh you're gonna say that on. your pocket like the hoes don't listen. to your pocket okay.
i don't think i mean i i'm still looking. you know i'm still looking how'd you. know when you met your husband that he. was the one. uh he had a good job back teeth and he. didn't hit [ __ ] in the eye on friday. damn but um i knew he was the one he was. a nice guy did you know him right from. the beginning or took a little few dates. i liked him so yeah. you know he just came over and we went. out a couple times but i liked him when. i first saw him. what kind of man do you think if out of. the gate he's kind of like in that gray. zone.
what can he do on that second third date. to maybe get himself into a better zone. you think what do you mean by gray zone. like if you're not liking him you're. just not sure maybe you're kind of like. you're never not sure when you meet. somebody i think the more the. conversation a person can learn a lot. about you through your conversation i. mean if you i mean if you're listening. good. some women get swindled through. conversations because they. some memes know how to say all the right. [ __ ] oh yeah or you hang up their phone. you got to take a step back like what. this [ __ ] up to yeah you know.
and then i mean. times have changed so much now. [ __ ] name you can you can call. a girlfriend like my friend quiche [ __ ]. put this [ __ ] name in this. thing and tell me more about this person. and it'll bring up everything about them. yeah it's hard to hide now it's hard to. hide now so i mean you just can't you. can't be google guy guy over somebody. the first. sometime the first [ __ ] year you just. gotta keep talking and and see if it. grows yeah.
do you think sometimes i feel like black. people don't get that nervous i always. feel like black people don't get nervous. do you feel like black people get. nervous or not. we human. what the [ __ ] you think we are animals. no honest people. don't get there what the [ __ ] are you. talking about a lot of my friends they. never seem like they get nervous nervous. about what you don't get nervous i get. nervous i get nervous a lot so i'm also. a person that gets extra nervous so then. i think i'm more prone to maybe thinking. that some people don't get nervous. uh you probably think.
i would i think i think it's not the. word nervous you probably think we. is he thinking we bad ass are we just. like we don't give a [ __ ]. i don't know what it is maybe we don't. get scared maybe it's a mix of some of. those things and so then it comes off to. me like that oh my black friends don't. get nervous we get nervous. let us get pulled over by the police. you got that right we get nervous yeah i. guess that's a good problem. i mean that's a real game yeah once that.
[ __ ] happens man that [ __ ] is but you. know you you no whammies. know what no whammies i was saying it's. like a game show that said it's a. dangerous game show if you get pulled. over by the cops man but not for all. cops because i'm not the one to say all. cops are bad cops you know i try to tell. people about time you can't throw that. one let that one person throw that whole. race of people off i know because that's. not fair yeah because there's a lot of. good guys and then people come at them. with a bad energy it's like when um the. guy from uh he might be your friend but.
uh from um. who was on xm radio what's his name. oh uh. um he was on xml radio they was on for. years and patrice moby and anthony yeah. wasn't it opie or anthony they cussed. out the black woman i'm not sure she. made the video one of them made the. video probably it might be anthony. anthony's more. like volatile yeah so he made the video. saying. black women or something and all he had. to say was. that [ __ ] he had that incident.
was the problem but when you throw a. whole when you throw all black women in. it then it becomes a problem because i'm. not that lady who cuts you out right so. while you throwing my race because you. dealt with somebody that we are the same. race that's not fair if if if a white. boy run up and. uh rape me i'm not gonna say all white. boys rape yeah that's not fair i mean. you wouldn't rape me would you um i. wouldn't. why are you saying um first. that ain't how you ask a rape question i.
mean i wanted to really. you know you had to think twice. i would not be raping i ain't doing no. raping okay so i'm not even that good at. sex i'd be the worst rapist ever let me. know. worse that sex that's why they take it. and they force their [ __ ] on you but so. i just think i just think you cannot. throw stuff on people because one person. individuals did it yeah it doesn't make. everybody that race the same way. how long were you doing comedy before. you were before something started to.
turn and you're like oh wow this is. going to be good because i've seen you. go through the clubs for a long time oh. yeah um. probably 12 13 years maybe 15 at the. most. and what was the thing that started to. kind of when did you start to see oh. something's changing here. i um i moved to indiana which i thought. my life was gonna be [ __ ] over. and so um. i ended up getting on a tour with cat. william the cat apocalypse tour oh wow. right after i moved i was and cat paid.
me [ __ ] like. a [ __ ] ton of money to do 15 minutes a. night. and then i ended up going on the road. with rnas j and d ray davis and i just. kept grinding but i knew i knew by me. being on that cat tour and you know i. did festivals and [ __ ] like that and. that had really helped me out because. red grant was he on there too or no red. ground was on the one i was on he's on. all of them but he was on that one i was. on but it i just felt like that's when i. thought.
you know a lot of [ __ ] started to kind. of change for me yeah. and along with festivals i stayed going. to the festival even if i wasn't invited. like montreal because you know as a. young comic you automatically think oh. if i go to mutual if i just get new. faces my whole life's gonna change. change that is that is that. i try to tell you i said hey just go. over and do the [ __ ] jokes it's a. goddamn it's a good time yeah it's a. good time i remember the year i went and. it was the year of the white boy so. white boys was really hot and i didn't. realize that after i was there and it.
was after this connect everybody was all. up this canadian comedian ass which i. didn't think was funny but i didn't know. i'm a young comic so i don't know what. the industry is looking for right and i. did my set and nobody said anything to. me but when they tell you oh my god the. industry's gonna be all over you you're. gonna do this you're gonna do that. nobody talked to me and i remember going. back to my hotel room and crying because. everybody told me if i go over there i. was gonna blow the [ __ ] up then i had to. realize. this [ __ ] is a process.
and it might take it might not never. happen yeah so i just started to focus. on my comedy and when i got invited to. [ __ ] i would show up and and i just. learned to take the feelings out of it. because when you got feelings out in it. you will [ __ ] go crazy. that's a really good point yeah i. remember getting invited not getting. invited to those things and thinking man. i'm never gonna have a chance this this. industry doesn't like me this whole. world doesn't you know.
that i'm not a part of it was you a new. face no. really i never was yeah. and then it started to get you know now. it's really it's about like diversity. and a lot of like trans comedian gay you. know it's a lot of that now and i don't. need it now you know. in my own kind of world now once. podcasting started people could create. their own worlds yeah they could they. really could. um. i just think it's more about diversity. so it's a lot about diversity i think. the the the industry was forced to.
listen to what everybody had to say yeah. well you need more voices at a certain. point you kind of have heard a lot of. the same voice yeah because i mean let's. be honest if it's a white girl it's the. same [ __ ] white girl thing and then. i've seen so many other white comedian. white female comedian that wasn't [ __ ]. but wasn't getting pushed to the top. right and i'm like well this [ __ ] is. funny right but it doesn't get you know. when you when you [ __ ] it was like. there they'll push you to the top and. everybody knows they knew that at the. time so i just think it's it's what the.
industry believed that divorce they're. looking for that season. well i've always thought earthquake i've. always thought is one of the best. comedians nobody's [ __ ] funny i mean. who kills a room who kills a room i've. always said earthquake is probably one. of the top three that i've seen who. kills a room and to finally see him. getting you know getting a netflix. special and just do you have one things. that make him feel deserved you know. because a part of it is making him feel.
does like. you deserve that you know not you des. but just like a thing where it's like. you've earned this yes yes yes a piece. of him can be like okay i have you know. i mean because we we as comics let's be. real we sat at the house and was like. how did this [ __ ] get this this. [ __ ] ain't even funny you said. behind the door who the [ __ ] pushing. this person so that's what i mean when i. say i learned to take the feelings out. of it so now i say oh well you know. um maybe more black girls will get. specials right i was so happy when they.
gave tiffany that special. and uh and monique made all of that. noise about um you know the pay of women. and stuff. and you know i was happy because. i'm gonna be honest i think. netflix started to give more black women. stuff. after that right you know. where i didn't see a lot of black. females getting special especially ones. that stepped outside of the box so. that's a good point huh yeah never even.
thought about that yeah and then you. know i don't know what tiffany got paid. but i heard she got paid really good i. mean it was really good to me too. so you know i just think it made them. pay attention hey you it's not enough. diversity on your platform which they. they turn it around and they put a lot. of diversity on it you know i like when. i see a gay or trans or black or white. or hispanic or uh or any uh asian. comedian yeah that means it's a little. bit it's something out there for. everybody it's like a gumbo yeah instead.
of just one straight way. yeah. you know i used to think about that when. i was young it would be like actually a. lot of my favorite shows it was like. i mean what did they have like. i mean i loved uh. a lot of my favorite sitcoms and stuff. were black shows you know good times the. jeffersons what was uh. family matters people love that show. yeah people love that show my show is uh. uh the show that i do the miss pat show. it's it's kind of like they want to say.
a roseanne because i'm i'm a i'm a. plus-sized woman like roseanne but. i think it's more like archie bonker. like yeah yeah that type of honesty. and and the family that one yeah all in. the family i have a lot of learning. moments like him yeah so um. but peop but sometimes sometimes i'm. shooting i tell myself i tell my. co-creator jordan cooper i said. something it feel like martin's then. they feel like a burning mac so it's a.
little bit of mix of everything well you. look like gina from martin a little bit. the lady that played in that show really. i've never heard that one really mike my. the father on the show wife looks a lot. like her to me oh really yeah yeah. um we have a couple questions that came. in do you want to pull something up. colin okay. hey what's up miss pat what's up theo um. my question is for miss pat uh i was a. photographer at skankfest last november. and miss pat was there and so was so is. the great bob saget and um you know miss.
patton and bob talk a lot about their. friendship and their relationship you. know on podcasts during the week and. stuff and but i was just wondering is. there a favorite moment you have ms pat. uh you know or a favorite uh. story about bob that you have we'd love. to hear it thanks guys gang gang gang. baby thanks for the question man. um. yeah bob sage came to my house for. dinner did he really i did bob saget um. podcast. and when we when we logged off and you.
know i found out i said you planning. indy i live he's like why don't i come. to your house for dinner and i'm like. what the [ __ ] you know i'm like you. wanna go to my [ __ ] house for. dinner and so he really threw me off and. i'm like okay. and so i didn't really know if he was. gonna come wow so and at the time i'm in. atlanta trying to buy a house and get. our stuff together i had a gig and i had. to get rid of that date that bob said. that thursday because i was not going to. tell bob say he could not come to my. [ __ ] house so i just i went home and. i cleaned up i called the housekeeping.
and i was like what the [ __ ] is going on. i have a really famous person coming to. the house but i can't tell y'all who it. is because i didn't know if bob sagan. was gonna show the [ __ ] up like you did. you know how famous people stand you up. oh yeah and then they was like well. who's coming and i would never tell them. who came and i just said wait till they. ring the doorbell and everybody trying. to figure out [ __ ] who coming he. rings the doorbell he got flowers in his. hand and why they they was like bob sage. [Laughter]. oh my god and we sat down and i wish i'd.
have videoed the whole thing when i tell. you he was so [ __ ] funny and you know. you're thinking bob sang it you know the. clean bumps take it from the sitcom. corny as [ __ ] you know you know but i've. seen his stand up i knew his standup was. funny i just said he was so [ __ ]. quick with it he was like just cracking. the [ __ ] he had us cracking up like. seriously and then we my son barbecue. because my son junebug can barbecue. really well so i'm like jumbo you gonna. barbecue and gary ella's gonna make this. like who the [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up i.
said just cook the food and i can't cook. so. we made this barbecue and i bought. steaks and you know i'm like i don't. know what the [ __ ]. you know rich people eat or how they eat. so i just went out about the best of. everything and um. bob sagan ate a plate he's like oh my. god this [ __ ] is so [ __ ] good he got. up and when he fixed himself another. place. saw that and then he did i was like hold. on bob you want to buy grocery. [ __ ]. he's like he's been a long time since i. had food this good miss pellet what the.
[ __ ] have you been and he was there for. about four or five hours and we left at. that table and we talked and and that's. my that's my most memorable moment with. him wow that's wild that's amazing huh. yeah and your family your kids were. there too my uh my whole family was. there it sure was i flew i flew uh my. the girl who do my hair and i was like. he might not come because i told her who. he was but i didn't tell my family and. we just waited he wrung that door but he. got in an uber damn he got out the. [ __ ] uber like a nice uber a regular.
one it was a regular little but i don't. even think the person who picked bob sag. it up knew they would bob said he had a. mask on oh yeah. yeah. damn and and so we take some pictures. and i post them and everybody bob sagan. was in our neighborhood. oh that's my most memorable i tell you. when um i found out he passed i couldn't. stop crying yeah because it was such a. building relationship like bob sage. would literally. text me in the middle of now how are you. doing bada and i just talked to him.
because. you know i asked bob to be on my show. and i was my show was on bt plus and. pair my plus and you know i know bob. ain't never been on bt so i said i'm. gonna ask him a minute i said would you. come and play you know a role on the. chase like [ __ ] yeah i'm there so we. were literally talking about him you. know doing a role on the show yeah and. um. um the week the week he died i had just. text him and say send it up he's telling. me who to reach out to and i got you pat.
i'm gonna do it. and i was leaving a falcon game and my. son called and said they said bob sega. died and i called. and was no answer and i was like this. can't be real. and i lit i i literally [ __ ] cried i. was like. because i really liked it he was so. [ __ ] genuine. he was just a genuine guy and i'm the. type of person like i don't give a [ __ ]. who you are or what you've done. if you're a good person then i [ __ ] with.
you yeah and he was a good person wow. man that's what kind of makes me sad. yeah he was a good person to him and. sometimes i go back and i look at and. you know i started seeing people posting. a text message between uh them and bob. saget i was like i would never do that. some of that's a little weird you know i. think showing some support is one thing. trying to relate too much i don't when. people do that [ __ ] they over relate. that [ __ ] to me is well that's you want. clout on it online too you want i would. never show something that private.
because you died. and to go and show people my text. message between me and bob say i just i. wouldn't do that you know and then. like i had an actress on the show that. committed suicide who played his. secretary. and i just talked to her a week before. and she was about to return to the show. and that [ __ ] just hit me like a brick. because she was she was like my baby you. know i don't know i when i meet people. is because i grew up like.
not not a close-knit family and. i just started to collect people as. family members and she was like a family. member to me. and you know. what was about three weeks ago she was. here she was missing and then she um she. they found her um they said she. committed suicide so did you have any. inkling when you saw her did she seem. down you could you'd have no idea i. don't. you know you don't really. she was i had a nervous energy to me. like. like always something wrong but she.
didn't want to disappoint people and i. was talking to her about a role and i. was like that role is too small you too. [ __ ] good so look i'm gonna bring you. in for this role and and we back and. forth and i come off stage and i got. this long ass secret i said you i called. i said you okay he's like i just don't. want to disappoint you and i was like. lindsay i [ __ ] love you and you know. no no you know and i was like just wait. and the week she killed herself as a. week she was supposed to be on my. [ __ ] show well she was that was the. episode she was gonna come in for but i. told her it was too small i was gonna. bring in for the next so we literally. writing her in the next one and as i.
come off stage they said she was missing. and i talked to another uh one of the. actors from l.a on my show. and then they well two days later they. said she was dead and i was like i can't. believe she did this damn. that's scary yeah it's very scary you. know because i mean as. because. i i sometimes i beat myself i was like. [ __ ] if i had just given her that small. role that's she could have been there. with me and she wouldn't have killed. herself. yeah i have a gut there's a guy like who.
used to hit me up uh i met him through. skydiving right i met him at a comedy. show one time and he said hey man i'm. such a big fan i can relate to you on. certain levels like how you feel about a. lot of things and we swapped numbers he. invited me to go skydiving so i went. down there one time took my little i had. a girlfriend at the time. and she was good girl and we went. skydiving and then a couple like months. after that he'd been messaging me but i. had i just hadn't noticed i'd just been. busy and i just hadn't noticed and he'd. sent like three texts over a couple. months and then he killed himself and.
sometimes i think damn man if i just. said my life had been a little slower. or something you know if i hadn't been. thinking about myself. then i'm not saying i could have saved. him but maybe i could have just you just. don't know sometimes how. what people are needing you know i mean. some people some people just need. somebody to listen sometimes and so i. have a and i don't have a lot a lot of. time like i used to because i'm so busy. with tv show radio and just trying to. create other [ __ ] where i try to take.
out the time like if i'm waking up at. four o'clock in the morning i don't. really have to be up because my mind. wake me up at that time i stroll through. my messages and i see a lot of people. that need. talking and if i can't say a lot i was. like love you take care how you doing. and i answer back i try to as much as i. can but with a growing career i mean i. don't i hope i get as big as. dave chappelle and kevin hart one day. but i do take time to when they message. me. when i can to say something back yeah.
cause sometimes people just need an ear. yeah. yeah it's crazy how we have so much. communication now but nobody really. taking time really to listen nobody's. really available in a lot of ways or we. all feel like we also need to. tell somebody instead of hear them you. know i noticed that a lot we feel this. compulsion i think since we have so many. ways to put things out there that we. have to put things that we i have to i. have to tell them you know i have to. instead of like uh listen i don't know.
i don't know that much. yeah. um is that another question. yeah we got one more question that came. in oh. i'ma start this question [ __ ] i did. somebody else's podcast it was kind of. cute. yeah it's nice and people can you know. if they get specific they can really. have something for you. got a question here from miss pat. if you had three options to marry one of. these comedians and live with for the.
rest of your entire life. between your boy. theo vaughn. everyone's favorite fat alcoholic. comedian burke kreischer. was slept king himself. bobby lee who are you taking this pat. yeah i believe you handed out a little. vietnamese treat. a little shrimp salad baby. oh my god. can you handle that huh ah. i'm gonna have to choose um then you.
look good in that picture. if you think i look good in that yeah. there's something you've done shane. because there's something wrong with you. now i'm about to go bird crashing burn. got that long paper oh yeah that's a. good bert look like you can buy more. wigs and you're okay. and we look like we're wearing wigs. that's the crazy part. but what about bobby you ever date a. little asian man ain't no date out. beside my damn razor there's definitely. not no [ __ ] asian come on i've seen. bobby lee dick too they don't want that. [ __ ] that shit's so small like a. two-piece yeah that thing really don't.
even look like. he he got baby nuts so you know. he ain't busting no nothing. inside of you. the asian people they say what a little. wooden shoes to keep their feet from. growing like he stuck his dick in one. would have to be bird crushing for me. baby. damn i like it i seen birdhouse too and.
burke liked them southern girl cause his. wife from the same place i'm from. atlanta is she really yes yeah she's. beautiful she's a sweetheart but you do. look like an actress actor in that. picture theo oh thank you yeah yeah i. think about sometimes doing some acting. but i don't know podcasting and touring. kind of keeps me so busy you know did. you always want to be an actress no. i just i love comedy and um because. acting's a different thing it's a. different beast um you know my show was. created through fox and lee dania and. ron howe and brian grazer so um they.
immediately got me an acting coach and. it took five years to get that show up. and on tv because hulu shot the pilot. dropped it and then bt plus picked it up. and then paramount it just went over to. paramount plus so um. they just they put a lot of money into. me learning how to act. so but no i i prefer comedy first yeah. but i do i do like creating yeah i do i. have some other things and that i'm.
working on i i like behind the camera. yeah it's a lot of [ __ ] work in front. of that camera especially when it's your. show cause you got to memorize lines you. got to write jokes you got to help write. it then you know whenever when all the. other actors go home your ass still up. yeah and you st this is your show so you. gotta still make it great like i. literally gotta leave here and i'm. running to do another show and then on. the plane i'm reading all night yeah. it's a lot of work yeah it's more work. than people think oh it's a lot of. [ __ ] work you're gonna earn them.
panties yeah. i agree um. let's get a different one do we have one. more that came in. and then we'll get you oh this past. weekend what's up. you know i'm sitting here all horned up. anyways miss pat i got a question for. you so you talk about how you used to. sell crack cocaine and stuff everybody. knows every neighborhood has that one. funny crackhead. who is the funniest person that you used. to sell crack to. gang you guys have a good one gang baby. i always wanted to smoke crack man oh no.
you don't but i think it was i must say. too. if i can remember uh one of them name. was rehab. it was his zoo he said. my street name was rabbit rabbit uh give. me one more rock i'm going to the rehab. so i named the rehab because he never. made it he ended up [ __ ] shooting. some dope and falling out in the street. and die he was so [ __ ] funny and. squirrel was the other one he the only. [ __ ] that bought dope from you. but were rap. give me that sack pack. give me that sack rap he would have a.
whole rap every time he came and bought. dope he was saying you a whole song that. was [ __ ] hilarious oh yeah there's. some funny ass cracking some talented. ass crackheads out there too yeah yeah. crack will bring the talent right out of. it it brings it right to the surface. cause you need it so you'll give. whatever you got whatever your talent is. i feel like it'll you you'll display it. uh. you think no i think telling bring the. best talent i mean the best talent crack. bring out of you is dick sucking oh damn. because when you run out of money you. got to do something well i guess you.
right then theo. yeah yeah that's true huh. i would never. how far down a crack do you have to beat. it will you get to that were you doing. oral sex out there for another uh two. dollars um. probably at the bottom. but how many times you have to use crack. before you start getting to that like is. there a couple of times i don't know i. never use they say crack is very. addictive the very first time they said. give you a feeling that you'll never get. again wow. and you forever searching for that.
feeling damn. that's crazy that they can make that huh. uh yeah. that's crazy it's like they're playing. like they're playing god or something. yeah this [ __ ] is wild out there yeah i. always wanted to smoke it but i've. always been afraid i guess well i'm glad. you didn't because i would hate it see. you say your mullet. miss pat thank you for coming in thank. you for finally [ __ ] having me i know. we've been back and forth back and forth. and i've been ripping and running but i.
appreciate you taking taking out the. time and doing it today well i feel. honored and i'm so excited for your. success i'm just really. you know i'm just happy for you you. sound like you have a beautiful voice. and um i think we just need it in the. world so thank you for coming and. spending some time with me and if it. don't work out on the white side theo. come on over here with these uh. beautiful uh cocoa butter rub damn. sisters they'll take would they give me. a chance you think they're gonna change. that haircut but. they're going to put some cornrows in. this [ __ ] dude roll it up i'll put a.
jingle bell in that [ __ ] during the. i'm just holidays. you were the smoothest talking white boy. i've seen in my life but dressed like a. white boy put me in coach i'm ready. i'm gonna hook you i gotta quiche y'all. we gotta find theo vaughn a black sister. oh she got with her with that kid huh i. could do i think maybe one kid two kids. seem like a lot two kids. what'd you say. what about six no she got sick. is she really.
the lesbian f6 how no the lesbians don't. have anything for your other she eat her. babies. the other girl got sick. oh damn you have six children god damn. baby. wow that thing hit like popcorn. you got to put the off switch on that. [ __ ] you must that thing must be stuck. on. man. we breaking theo we bringing theo vaughn.
to the black side i am looking for him a. good black woman out there and i'm gonna. say it on my podcast and we're gonna. hook you up we're gonna take you on. seeing you on a black date i'm ready and. i'll even take a real thug ass woman too. you know what i'm saying i'm ready i. think you can handle thug [ __ ] yeah you. know what i'm saying i want a [ __ ]. that'll [ __ ] she's driving she's. right she picks me up you know what i'm. saying bruh that's what we're gonna end. this park here right here and in the. black community they call it a low down. [ __ ] gonna do that to you.
look i don't know what i'm ready for. something thank you miss pam i got you i. got it now i'm just floating on the. breeze and i feel i'm falling like these. leaves i must be. [Music]. but it's gonna take. a little time.
for me to set that parking brake. and let myself on my heart. shine that light on me. i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music]. [Music].
and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with. [Music]. now. you.
