Mike Perry | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #399
we also have new be good to yourself. teas and new summertime colorways like. banana salmon and more. check them out and check out more. at. theovonstore.com. today's guest is a gentleman that i've. i've been uh enamored with for a while. i've been wanting to meet this cat and. just get to just see what he is and who. he is. i've always been a huge fan he's beloved. by many. he is a mixed martial artist uh he.
competed in the ufc for a long haul. and he's currently fighting in. welterweight in the bare knuckle. fighting championships he's got a fight. coming up in august. and uh he joined us today right here on. the tour bus. so i'm grateful for his time mr platinum. mike perry. [Music].
i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music]. [Applause]. thank you so much for coming man the. dogs man with the the the the bullies. from from uh.
lazienne that's it. yeah we out here man thank you so much. bro i honestly i am so uh uh this is the. most excited i've been in a long time i. think man i really am i'm excited thank. you for coming man thank you for having. me bro it's a pleasure to meet you theo. uh crazy guy so. you know meeting a crazy guy yeah. yeah i think we're different kinds of. crazy huh. i don't know man i think you get down. bro.
i think you've gotten drunk at a bar and. slapped somebody before. yeah i mean i have i definitely i've. bitten i've bitten people. oh that's a good one i won't bite nobody. really i don't want to catch that yeah. keep this up on you sorry oh i'm sorry. so you won't bite yeah i don't bite you. know. i'm even though i'm pretty sure i've had. other people's blood in my mouth. but like. you know we get tested to go to the. fight yeah so we're pretty clean.
athletes at that time but like a random. on the outside no i can't be biting no i. don't want to catch rabies yeah oh they. had a lot of rabies busts growing up you. see somebody every now and then rolling. down the street bro licking they trying. to lick their elbows and [ __ ] and you. knew that they had been. you know what i'm saying they've been a. little too close to a raccoon yeah. they've got a little dicey man um man we. i used to have a couple raccoons that. lived in my house yeah yeah cause we at. my house in flint michigan. and uh you know that's pretty crazy.
place up there and i had a big hole in. the side of the house and we had like a. blue tarp over it and we had aluminum. shingles on the side of the house. so. i think. my dad told me that someone stole him. but i think he took him. and then so then we had a big hole in. the house and we used to have raccoons. in there sometimes it was cool man yeah. he's hanging out bro i used to work at. this restaurant i was a boss boy over. there and i did other things too. i would sell a little bit of weed but.
mostly i was doing dish work. but um. and when the chef would cook uh duck. when they would make duck they had loose. floorboards in the back of the. restaurant and they had a lot of. raccoons in the wall and one of us bus. boys would have to sit there with a. broomstick because the raccoons like the. duck smell. so they come out the wood bro and i'll. just sit there and just beat them back. in though yeah that's crazy so. definitely that was a five-star. restaurant over there. over there it was man it was but it.
really really was yeah i said. that was a five star down here in. florida i seen something with the golden. corrals they put. they they had all the food on the trays. all the raw steak and golden corral you. can it's a it's an all you can eat spot. but like you go over to the chef and. he'll cook a steak for you and you can. keep going back and eat more steak. people like it. i haven't eaten there in years but they. used to keep the meat outside next to. the dumpsters. yeah they made like a video about that.
oh yeah i stopped eating there that's a. storage issue. yeah right you know. freezer um. man i'm so glad i just i'm honestly i'm. excited uh. i'm not that fun though i'm not that. exciting i'm actually a really boring. like. you know. uh. solid. focused individual. you're you though you yeah you are you. you you couldn't be any more you i don't. think people love you bro thank you.
people love grateful well i feel i feel. differently a little bit about yourself. there's a lot of hate oh really yeah. just. about myself as far as like what other. people seem to think or act or what they. say. um not that it matters but like. you know so. i'm 30 now i'm a little older so um. i'm trying to carry myself in in such a. way to be older to be wiser um i'm not. being a fighter is like i'm still young.
mentally because like i i want to think. about having fun all the time. and then you gotta you know i i look in. the mirror and i realize or i see all. the stuff that people say and i'm like. you know on one side forget about that. but on the other side it's like you know. if they're right you got to take. constructive criticism and you got to. take a look in the mirror and just you. know i'm trying to be better i'm trying. to be an example. you know yeah. was there kind of a moment that changed. because you seem from an outsider's. perspective you know i've just always.
been a fan and uh you seem. a little different over the past year. too you seem a little bit. uh. more. i don't know you seem i don't know if. it's more grown up i don't want to say. grown up because. that's not it i don't know what do you. feel differently over the past few years. and what's kind of changed for you as a. as a person well i met my girl. and um well i met her years ago actually. but like when i went back to her and we.
started making a family together um. i noticed some things about her her. character that really just made me like. you know. respect her a lot like she's the. littlest cutest little thing but she's a. savage. and you can't get an emotion out of her. you can't get nothing out of her and i. saw that and i was like. these these grown men out here be acting. like little babies right compared to my.
tiny little girl who then. you know these are the type of dudes. they'll cry. to somebody. but they're the same ones who would. bully someone that they can dominate. right so i try to be this person that. you know. for the ones who are weaker even though. i i like to do i like to think like a. winner i see what winners do i try to. follow winners see what they're doing. try to. you know. emulate that in my own way and.
um but i still want to be that guy for. the weaker people. the people who can't stand up for. themselves the people shoot there was. somebody just about to get into a fight. in their cars there was arguing getting. in and out of the car arguing blocking. traffic for everybody trying to turn. right to come here. and like. i was like man i was wondering you know. if the guy is fighting a girl you know. what would happen what would i do but. right i just drove in the grass past. them you know and do you think a few.
years ago you might have got out just to. see what was going on or no but you're. just right. right right. if it's not my business but if i do see. a guy fighting a girl. i would probably. you know help out yeah yeah at least. investigate yeah yeah you know. who was it they were talking about kevin. holland keeps saving people and then ben. askream wants to. say that he's paying people to do a. crime so that he can hunt him down. he's like how does this guy get in all. these troubles cause.
you've never you know wanted any trouble. ben. [Laughter]. he never did yeah ben looked like he. yeah ben doesn't look like the guy. that's had a lot of trouble really huh. no. i mean he's probably had more trouble. than me. um. when it comes to fighting whatever made. you want to fight if you think back in. your life like. were you did you just kind of at a. certain age start to see like damn i. fight or did it was there something. inside of you like is there a do you. know what it is are you able to get a.
look at it whatever that is. my dad's a savage really he's crazy mofo. he's probably still the toughest dude. i've ever seen. and and you know he's just too. loose canon so i try to take that. and like focus it right into. the the art of you know being a martial. artist a fighter a boxer i really like. the boxing nowadays especially because. i'm doing it yeah yeah i've always.
wanted to be a boxer i like the flash. the you know the outfits that they can. wear in the ring when when the ufc takes. everybody and they try to make them look. the same and then you know the grappling. breaks up the fight when boxing is all. about like. just. to me i i just have the word swagger in. my head when i think of boxing yeah you. just got to carry yourself with a. certain demeanor yeah and um my like i. said you know my dad was a crazy guy did. you see him fight growing up did he. fight. um.
i heard stories we got in fights with. the neighborhood people. um i saw him make people back down from. fights a lot you know he would get in. people's face and be like i'll bite your. nose off. in their yard do you know what i'm. saying oh that's good i'm in your yard. [ __ ] what are you gonna do yeah. and uh you know. he told me. one time we fought like the whole block. and like i was trying to break it up and. i i was like 13 14 i was just getting.
strong. and my dad i think he was drunk and he. wanted me to fight. with him with the neighborhood. and um i was trying to break it up and. he got mad at me. and then because he wanted you in it. right he wanted me to want to do it i. guess and like you know i was a kid. though but. uh. and i think he got arrested that night. and he. he got out the next day and he said that. the co he was talking trash to the cops. all night and that they drove into an.
alley and they beat him with their night. sticks in the back seat they opened the. backseat start with his ass. it's good stories. it probably it probably stung a little. bit that's a good story yeah bro we grew. in my neighborhood people are always. fighting bro and it was a sign of. respect like everybody had their shirts. off all the time dudes walking around. with like those do you ever see the dude. with like the cement arms he just walked. he just like uh he the only way he know. how to move he just he never even could. lift his arms up they just swinging in. front of him we had that kind of dude we.
had a guy who went down syndrome bro but. they wouldn't say he had it bro so he. was always out there [ __ ] people up. bro thinking he was in regular education. we had like uh. do we had like a whole family with. shirtless bro women all of them the. whole family was shirtless bro always. smoking in their in their house bro the. children were smoking cigarettes. everybody was out on the block back in. the day you know what i mean you had. your bicycle you drove to people's. houses you knock on their door yeah and.
their their mama answered the door. damn where your son at. yeah yeah. yeah we got some [ __ ] to do let's go. dude that was so i missed that kind of. stuff i forget about that remember how. kind of crazy it was when you would go. to your buddy's house. because that determined your whole day. if your friend was home or not to. determine how the rest of your day was. going to go if you wasn't home you had. to go back to your [ __ ] house bro. that always it wasn't bad but it wasn't. the same as having your buddy you know a. couple places you know i had a couple.
places to go i rode my bike miles every. day all over. and uh. remember i remember playing. tackle in the grass and two hand. touching the street football you ever. played that yeah and the car would come. and everybody have to shut it down bro. everybody call it car driving. brother dude's driving through brook. it's not even a gay dude it's just a. dude with his wife or something you like. this motherfucker's ruining our game bro. people yelling you queer just down the. street just you know just back in the.
day this [ __ ] was fun bro sometimes. god it was fun dude times are better now. though yeah you know well your life's. different now you have more. yeah you know people say that joe rogan. always says that he's like you know. we're at the time where you have access. to whatever you want you know. well that's iffy you know yeah you can. go on google and look something up but. then like. there's so many scams out there right. where's the information coming from you. don't know what you always see i always. see that meme on instagram it's like.
you know what you order online and it's. like it was like the good conor mcgregor. who knocked out. uh aldo in 13 seconds and then it's like. what you get it was like uh. you know him sitting on the floor. talking [ __ ] to dustin. yeah that's true yeah everything you get. now i feel like it comes from a. different place it's not that you know. it's it's interesting i think when a lot. of jobs left america for overseas when. they started making stuff in factories. in other countries. then the pride you lost a lot of pride.
it used to be like your dad worked at a. factory or something so when that item. came off the press you had you wore you. my dad made this you know people would. tell that kind of story and now it's. like we just get it from somewhere we. don't know who makes it you know. somebody's dad is on damn percocet all. the time and you don't even know us you. know i think some of the pride is going. a little bit maybe but that could be me. romanticizing stuff americans are tough. with that though right like. like um. i mean. who do we got that the americans really.
get behind as far as. you know everything leads back to the. fight game for me it's like conor. mcgregor's got the irish people they fly. out from ireland they go to vegas they. turn up they they come with thousands. and thousands and they blow up the. stadium. khabib. i mean. all the all the russian people i mean i. don't know how much they trap i mean. everybody knows the irish fans the. european fans i'm excited to go to. london uh shout out crypto face market.
cypher real quick um i'm excited to go. to london last time i was there i had. that big fight with danny roberts and. that was a banger because i just i felt. the swagger in that fight you know. that's when you that was like your first. half of your ufc career right yeah you. fought two rounds second fight it was. your second fight so i was 9-0 with nine. knockouts after that one and we went to. the third round to the last minute and. then i got him and it was a banger the. whole time it was a good fight so i mean. i'm looking to.
you know do that again. yeah what does that feel like so you. you're gonna be heading over there your. family's gonna go with you. yes actually so i'm flying to london. tomorrow. and then i'll i'll get there monday i. guess i'm traveling you know all night. tomorrow and uh for the presser and the. fights august 20th. and um i'm gonna my my son's gonna stay. here uh nine hour flight you know i'm. gonna bring my wife and.
uh. we're gonna go she's probably gonna be. in the corner. uh. with my other coach my boxing coach and. um i think his wife might be going so. we're gonna get to see london i went. last time i saw manchester it was cool. to see um nothing like florida though. anywhere you go in the world i like. florida um you know and. but. you know shout out. england i think they're going to bring. the heat those fans are intense with. when it comes to fighting they really.
show up over there you get stadiums with. 60 to 90 000 people for the fights. sometimes yeah for like australia i. think they had like 90 000 people. and you know that's anything that isn't. florida is like uk to me right if it's. over there it's all uk australia it's uk. new zealand uk yeah yeah yeah. and then there's asia yeah. that's that's how i feel kind of yeah. sometimes i divide yeah to me like. somebody in the audience the other night.
said their i don't know what ethnicity. they were but i didn't even know it you. know i said i know black and mexican. that's not in white. you know and i know it's kind of whites. are a little mexican yeah. whites are getting everybody's gonna be. beige bro in about two more generations. everybody's gonna be beige man good yeah. and then it's because then all the race. stuff will be going people can't even. you know they're gonna be like there's. gonna be something about a freckle or. yeah yeah. you know a limp you got a tan or don't.
tan yeah yeah you can tell who stays. inside in the ac they got like a a. paleness yeah you know oh yeah you could. tell the sun makes me feel good man when. i get out in it bro i feel like god. wants me to be alive that's what i feel. like it's good for you for sure. i'm a little uh hungover today but. really what y'all do man i was just. playing video games last night uh play. this pirate game it's fun we sing people. [ __ ] and steal their loot what do you. what do you play it on xbox okay play. with people who are playing on pc and.
stuff yeah i think they'd be cheating. yeah so we'd be winning i'd be like i'm. i'm here for it let's go. we sinking their [ __ ] stealing your. booty. i'm a pirate legend now that's real [ __ ]. i'm happy about it yeah i try to be a. pirate in real life too yeah yeah gang. bro. um. i know you got so i i know you moved in. oh i want to tell you i play metroid. dread on on nintendo switch. i gotta get the switch just so i can. play pokemon bro it's good you like. pokemon see i'm a grown-ass man but i.
still want to play little kid video. games oh shame i need a break from. reality sometimes you know oh i hate. being an adult i hate being an adult. sometimes. yeah i mean i like being able to drink. alcohol and smoke and uh you know. and sleep in. don't let no you know even though my. wife's gonna yell at me i sleep in she. yells at me every day does she but we. have a good life yeah yeah are you uh. did you ever believe that you could be a. family man that you would have that kind.
of life was that as something in your. head that you didn't think of or was. something you always wanted do you have. any thoughts on that. i remember a time that i didn't want a. kid um. and now that i have a kid i'm like i. remember that time because. but like i said i'm older i'm grown so i. don't need to be getting [ __ ] facing the. clubs all the time it's nice when you. when you have a family and you have to. you know maybe once month or once every.
two months you get that opportunity and. then when you go out you only have a few. hours you got to get back to the baby so. those those few hours you're going a. hundred you know what i mean then back. in the day it was like you go and you're. like sipping shots he babysitting and. they're like. you know going half as hard now we go. hard and we barely make it home but. we're waking up the next day and we're. feeding his little ass and it's just. it's so much joy from just looking at. him yeah and i made him with someone.
that i just really. i just love and respect. her beauty and her like. i'm telling you she's such a badass she. really is it's not like she really has. been an inspiration to you huh it's cute. for when she yells at me and stuff i'm. like it's fun to fight i think she likes. to fight with me too yeah it's funny you. know yes she is. she is the ultimate inspiration that's. her and my son you know and and.
our partners are first our son my son is. amazing he's everything but he's gonna. be a little [ __ ] i already know yeah and. he's gonna have to do his thing and. figure his [ __ ] out in life. i'm gonna help him best i can but he. won't listen you can be right there. telling him look you spell your name. like this. he's not gonna [ __ ] do it you know. what i mean he's not gonna do it i can. try to guide him all i want but. ultimately he's gonna listen when i. when i. make him you know.
see that i'm not really looking right. when i'm not looking he'll do his best. when i'm looking he's like. you want to raise hell he says little. sentences he'd be like who's this [ __ ]. who's this [ __ ]. he becomes a little bit like what the. [ __ ] is this. i'm like yeah. hell yeah bro oh nothing better than a. little kid that could [ __ ] curse bro. you know. better help get help for yourself if you. need it people need it and you could be.
one of those people. god we all need help. you know i find myself going to therapy. twice a week right now and that's okay. that's what i need for myself. burn out is a big thing that's happened. especially in this world where we feel. like we constantly have to go. better help is customized online therapy. that offers video phone and even live. chat sessions i've used better help and. i enjoy it. i've enjoyed working with them and the. experiences that i've had with them.
it's more affordable than in-person. therapy you can be matched with a. therapist in under 48 hours that's right. if your life's overwhelming if you find. yourself at night you're just gritting. your teeth and you're just chewing gum. at night even just you can't even you're. just. you gotta just you're on edge. if you're on edge better help. yes for me burnout was just like. uh god i just felt like i was always. just petting a really hard cat. and it was hurting my hand better help.
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something about being young and uh i. don't know i always think about being. young i love that kind of stuff. keep you know keep the youth inside let. it let it breathe you know i guess i i. hear what you're saying with that. it's important but you also have to. mature it's everything in life is a line. isn't it you want to be the line you. don't want to be on either side of it. but. what did you start to think differently. was there something else that was so you. obviously you fell and you know you felt. you found your your.
your girl you really admired her. was there anything else like when you. that help that kind of helped you get. over to that place because i find myself. sometimes still in a place of wanting to. be not wanting to grow up you know not. well it's gotta be hard being a comedian. because. you know. everyone. judges so much of. what is said and like you know me being. a fighter talking to. you. i've been you know with my girl i think.
one thing about her is inspiring is that. she's quiet. and. um. to me i'm like. you know sometimes less. you know not saying anything at all is. the best answer but you you have to say. something yeah so. then you come up with these these things. that you say that just send people's. heads on a trip trying to figure out. what it is exactly you mean. if someone's paying attention that hard. but what you say is for people who are.
just trying to enjoy themselves and. and not focus so much on all the bs. and um. you know it's. i guess my point is like you know it's. got to be hard because yeah i think. maybe you want to stay like in a place. where you could always joke around and i. guess that feels most like being a kid. right and when you were a kid you were. fearless oh man you just let anything go. say whatever the [ __ ] you wanted to say. and now i'm scrutinized for everything.
so. but i still got to find a way to get my. message out there and say it in a way. that speaks it could be funny and. serious i think that's one thing people. like about me i'd be so serious and. they're like mike's so funny and i'm. like [ __ ] i was so serious i'm not. trying to be funny i think it's a mix i. think it's interesting about a lot of. fighters man i noticed was uh. i wish sometimes you got to see more. of fighters personalities some of the.
guys i've gotten to know they have some. some of the guys have really good senses. of humor and people don't know it people. just see them as like these kind of. beasts or these like uh savages or these. creatures you know but sometimes some. really have the best person that have. the best senses of humor too you know. fighters i think we're really bipolar. think well i guess you'd almost have to. because i don't know how i could go from. a regular moment. to the moments i see you guys do. i guess i mean they.
a lot of fighters i've met and hung out. with you know will be joking and. it's good time and then. in the blink of an eye. they just do like some i mean i feel. like people in general do this though. where they're really [ __ ] um. they throw shade or like out of nowhere. you're like what's that for they just. start throwing hate your way or like. negative comments or. uh they just switch and you see a smile. and you guys are laughing and having a. good time and then all of a sudden. they're like.
like kanye west you know he goes from. smiling to him. he might be quad polar he might have. more poles. is that what buy is two i think buys two. yeah i could see him up in the ante bro. i could see him throwing three or five. six poles yeah. um. so man you got. your life's changed recently with your. work you are now doing bare knuckle. fighting and you've always been a. fighter bro it's it's watching you is.
like. i could never fight you know sort of. watching you i mean you just it's almost. like you want all of the you want every. moment of the fight you know like you. what you just don't. you just. i mean you take the punch you just. [ __ ] right i mean it's like you were. riding in that that. i mean that's a dark [ __ ] like i've. been winning now yeah no i know i know. man a good mindset good place yeah with. the thought of winning and. trying to you know i don't think too. hard about trying to keep it going i.
just do me right and i'll be ready to. fight when it's time to fight and what i. i just accepted my place in life i was. like. first of all how much longer are they. gonna let me do this [ __ ] second. i'm doing this [ __ ] so why not do this. [ __ ]. stop. trying to just. you know. [ __ ] the points. go for it i used to knock people out i. don't know what happened i'm a little. older but i feel like i would beat my.
younger self wow but my younger self was. such a [ __ ] because he just i. used to just touch people and they just. [ __ ] loopy all over the place. now. i crack people and they're just like. keep coming at me i'm like all right. [ __ ] i don't know what to do. but just keep. doing it yeah just keep doing it hit him. and hit him some more if he's still. there hit him some more. you know that's what my career has kind. of taught me just give in and be all in.
with what you got going. yeah it seems yeah that seems real. obvious man i mean you [ __ ]. i i watched uh. the last fight you had was it lane was. it the last fight you had yeah. and uh. and that was your first fight in in bare. knuckle do you it feels like from a. fan's perspective that that sport really. really fits you. do you in hindsight now having to be a. few months away from the fight because.
it's legit as [ __ ] it's it's boxing it's. clean they let us wrestle a little bit. there's no need to slow the fight down. and go all the way to the ground. and. you know i mean that was lane's like 9th. or 10th bare knuckle fight. by my 9th or 10th bare knuckle fight my. knowledge of the sport you know what i. mean he taught me a couple of things but. i was still the better boxer and um and. it's just so. there's something about these naked. fists in a real fight against another.
professional that lets you know. yeah you're gonna get if you get touched. you're gonna bleed and if you touch them. make sure they bleed and and you know. just keep drink keep putting it on them. you know what i'm saying that's my idea. with this [ __ ] it's real as [ __ ] and i. really enjoy that. aspect though yeah it seemed like it's. as real someone says it's as real as you. could get bro. i mean they got people out there i mean. that [ __ ] scene it just seemed like a. civil war you know some of it looks like.
just something you'd see in a damn. horror flick yeah i feel like some of. the match-ups. i feel like people get lucky with. match-ups a lot i feel like i fight. pretty good people um and i'm a. [ __ ] too like you know i don't. see someone really. we haven't got the contracts necessarily. yet and we'll see who shows up i'll be. ready to fight in london on fight day. i'll be ready i was supposed to be ready. for a fight last night bear knuckle had.
fights last night in hollywood florida. june 24th that was last night and. i was ready and uh you know i was. supposed to possibly be fighting other. people end up fighting because they used. me as a business token and they were. like let's do some big [ __ ]. and they love me over in england since. my danny roberts fight it'd be a. pleasure to go back and you know have. another crazy fight there and um. you know i just. stay ready for my opportunities to to.
put these paws on [ __ ] yeah. yeah [ __ ] you dude i want to [ __ ]. punch somebody. you can punch me nah nah bruh i don't. know punch me bro it's cool bro. no stomach or in the face i mean the. face might i might bleed so no you could. do like a belly shot. i don't know if i could do you think i. could do i could do pretty probably. pretty good you. [Music]. think him bro. it was good he pulled his punch a little.
bit. bro that's crazy dawg. look at you smiling. this is a good shot man. you pulled the punch i don't know if i. pulled it or not man well i have dreams. the most famous person has ever punched. me really yeah for sure oh we could get. some i i dude i could i'm gonna text. some people then next time richard. fights i think i get jared leto to punch. you michael j white probably wants to. punch me really i feel like you're more. famous than him though but he's been in. a bunch of shitty netflix movies.
uh michael j white michael j white. he uh he been in some i mean i remember. blood and bone was a good movie. he had good choreography for martial. arts but that's movie [ __ ]. and he um. you know me and him had a. i just got mad at him because i felt. like he was talking trash about kimbo. slice after kimbo passed away saying how. he was teaching kimbo this and how kimbo. was like so. anyways um.
[Music]. i just you know i cussed him out. and. then. i went too far. uh when you're dealing with these people. who got money. they're they're a big deal or an. opportunity and and you know. i [ __ ] things up like that in my past. but. you know and i kind of got mad at him. and you know i brought the real fight. out and talked some [ __ ] that maybe i. shouldn't have said or whatever but. you know so maybe if they have attorneys.
calling we can make that michael j white. fight happen i'll fight him anytime he's. a heavyweight and he's a movie actor and. he he wanna act like and tell people. that he's a real fighter um you know i. fight any real fighter and i'm gonna. fight real fighters i know the movie. guys ain't gonna be there they ain't. gonna they ain't for it they don't want. the smoke. imma keep fighting i'm only 30. by the. time i'm 45. i would have the record and. uh. uh what's the word uh attributes or.
whatever of mike. tyson cause i i just who gets down like. me i don't know anyone nobody gets down. like me yeah i mean i don't i. think nobody nobody i can think up. offhand. you know. oh jon jones. who else he's a savage do you know kimbo. did you know him no i never got to meet. him but i loved watching him on the. ultimate fighter and tough and. i got to meet rampage who. you know if you watch that when rampage. met kimbo rampage oh kimbo's on my team.
rampage is just cool and fun bang this. chick i knew she was cool she's a nice. girl yeah. yeah that's pretty savage who was the. yeah i wonder who what ufc guy has had. the most prolific luck with women over. the years probably. me. well you got a beautiful wife you write. man so you won and uh you won i mean. they say gsp. oh really they say he's like a little. [ __ ] damn.
i could see him being in there. just [ __ ]. he. you know i bet he's ate some nasty. crotches. i bet he probably eats it from behind. some people eat it from behind i feel. like if gsp eats crotch he he'd be like. like he tries to stay far away from like. i gotta keep my face out of that. yeah yeah yeah she'd be like do it yeah. she wants this great tough dude and he's.
like ah. that's how gsp ease crush. bro you [ __ ] get a tour yeah. dude you're making me laugh thanks man. um. who else would be good so having i know. you just have a new experience in the. bare knuckle fighting in that group i. know that it's not new in your life but. is there another are there other ufc. guys that you always think like oh man. they don't realize they might really. really dig this [ __ ] over here. oh man.
you know. i think. what's cool about it is that it keeps my. my grittiness. it makes you think more gritty it's like. if you're in a fight and someone pulls. out a gun you're involved in some real. [ __ ]. some street [ __ ] yeah ufc. the people who are in it they want to. think. and you have to believe that you're.
special or you're high up. you're classy you want to become this. image of you know just all the popular. brands or. you know you want your sponsors. and you want the marketing and. everything to be so professional. and um. i want to take the sport of bare knuckle. boxing and make it that you know make it. more. professional pristine and like louis. vuitton. and uh. or burberry you know.
um. i you know i don't know that's the thing. about it that's where it really does fit. me is because this shit's so real. you tell me someone that you think wants. this [ __ ] [ __ ] no no they don't want. this they want to keep their little four. ounce gloves on and their hands padded. and they want to not get cut so much. when they fight yeah you get the air. goes by in there but you're bleeding. yeah oh yeah that's a [ __ ] real donor. ship in there it's like an emergency.
room like it looked like a halfway house. it looked like a halfway house at an. emergency room every one of them fights. it looked like a narcotics anonymous. meeting bro where people broke out. swords and [ __ ] that [ __ ] looked. dangerous man. yeah don't know who i respect those. [ __ ] guys oh unbelievable they look. like [ __ ] a lot of the time when they. get in there and fight sometimes you see. a little star glisten you see a little. shine from one of these. there.
a lot of the fighters in there look like. you know drug addicts or like people who. just had hard [ __ ] in life yeah but they. got the balls to go in there and do it. and they're doing it for like. 20. they're fighting for damn near nothing. you got to build up and obviously the. competition's not. as. solid as like someone who's getting paid. a lot more for it. so then you're in there with a dangerous. opponent but.
you know. i respect all these [ __ ] different. types of people cut that i see because. i'm like man you real talk you got some. balls. um. shout out britain heart man she fought. last night she got the win. and i've seen this sport i've seen her. change in this sport before i entered. this sport i saw her she was such a. savage girl screaming at people. cussing them out saying mean things and. then i met her at my debut. and um.
she was trying to be more professional. you know what i mean is it was cool to. see it's interesting you start to notice. that in other people that's interesting. huh it's interesting how if we kind of. are able to have some change in our life. in some way then we'll start seeing it. like in other people it's interesting. does she uh. do you think it's. as that sport is as. just the same for women as it is for men. the bare knuckle oh yeah i think the. some of them women get in there and they. [ __ ].
they uh they're savages you know what i. mean. they. and the women are pretty good at like. holding a tight fist. and um. you know throwing them sharp little. cutters out there. women still do what women still do. sometimes a smart fight doesn't matter. whether it's men or women people might. boo if you're doing what you're supposed. to do. if you're sticking and moving and you're. using the ring and people want you to.
get a phone booth they've actually. got those fights now i've seen them. there was like people fighting in one of. those uk phone booths oh really yeah. damn there's a phone in there they took. the phone out. no it was i think. actually i don't know it it might not. have been but it was two guys in a small. ass phone booth bare knuckle boxing. they're in there just trying to punch. each other like crazy i was like i'm not. doing that. yeah i don't think he'd eat that man.
that's where i might bite someone yeah. yeah that's where you can start. sharpening your teeth bruh um. what about um. whenever you were little brother y'all. ever do halloween and [ __ ] was it fun. did you miss it love halloween. last year me and. my girl and we dressed our baby up we. were three little devils yeah we were. all devils and. people were so angry. it was so funny because to me i'm like. you know the devil punishes bad people. right the devil is an angel right.
why do you all hate the devil cause he. tries to get you you should hate. yourself yeah you're the piece of [ __ ]. that wants to do what the devil's. telling you you should do that's what i. think about that he's just trying to. trap you he wants you in jail so he can. put it in your butt. oh yeah the devil [ __ ]. he takes the back rose baby damn that's. what he wants do you think devil leave. me alone yeah. yeah i've had i don't know if i've ever. had real strong issues with the devil.
when i was growing up they had some. people by us that did a lot of seance no. he don't go to louisiana oh well some of. his women did then they had some we had. some. we had some wild [ __ ] pass through. brother [ __ ] candlelight bad girls. bro feel like there's a good christian. community in louisiana though louisiana. is good it's sweating hot churches is. tough to. you know the devil can't can't go in the. hot chocolate it's too hot in there too. hot for him it's too hot for him he's. standing in. fire them hot churches it's an ace yeah.
the devil now even the devil likes a. little bit of ac these days. um. what else do you see for yourself man. you seem like you're in such a good. place do you start to think uh like of. other things you want to do in your life. even outside of fighting. i like to sit home play video games and. eat. food out of my fridge and pantry you do. twitch and stuff like that. i don't uh i want to you should get it i. should do some twitch streaming of me.
playing some dumbass game i mean this. pirate game is dope but. um. i just yeah i gotta set it up and. one thing about twitch i guess you have. to open like a donation box that's how. you make money on there it's like it's. donations. and to me i was like i don't i'm not. begging you know i'm not gonna be out. here begging yeah i guess yeah how do. you keep from making yourself feel like. a monkey yeah i don't like that [ __ ]. either you know yeah but at some point. you know. i'm gonna need to find.
other articles of work and uh you know. take myself up but they keep coming to. you it seems like. it's almost like the world keeps. building whatever is next for mike perry. well a fight. is. in my ideas uh well i'm 30. i want to. fight till i'm 45 or even older i could. do this [ __ ] forever it could always be. a part of who i am but i don't know how. long they'll let me do it so now i try. to. it's about the pedestal. there are certain people who get in the.
ufc they win one big fight and then they. take that and they make all this. business opportunity out of it me i've. always just been a fighter i've always. just my paycheck is just a fight check i. only get paid once or twice three times. a year max maybe and. that's tough. but i've been paid enough to where you. know but that money goes down every. month that you're not fighting with. bills and all that stuff so. i don't understand business i don't know.
why i don't know how to do it and i. believe in my past i [ __ ] up. to where i'm trying to rebuild myself as. this new character. um not just a character but someone who. holds himself to a standard. because i've messed up in the past have. been the people that. people don't want to maybe. put themselves on with but i've also. you know like i said shout out marcus. cipher. they've. they've been following along with me but. there's no check like that fight check.
15 minutes. max. and i just made money for the whole year. i don't have to do [ __ ] the rest of the. year i sleep in every day. i drink when i want to eat when i want. that's a pirate's life bro. it really is man. do you uh. i'm trying to think of what else i can. speak to you about man. um. what about you. you speak to me about you you got family.
and stuff yeah i got a family my sister. going through a divorce right now and so. she's doing pretty good though no kids. but they got mold in their house right. now but no i don't have any kill i don't. have any kids my own but i want i want. some i would like to have a family you. know i think it's been hard sometimes. it's been hard for me to take that next. step like okay i mean you're a traveler. because work yeah they want you on the. road doing [ __ ] like that you know what. i mean that's got to be tough you want. to be home and you're miles away yeah.
but even inside of myself it's been. tough sometimes to be like okay. if you you know you get married you have. a family everything's gonna be okay i. think i get so used to this world that i. can kind of operate in where i know how. things work when it's just me i think i. get scared sometimes that if i get. more people involved is it going to be. can i do it you know kind of i don't. know. right like it adds things like. oh i need to. fly to london tomorrow baby.
like. she's like what. um yeah they just dropped it on me i. gotta go. and leave you guys for a few days but. it's for the best for the family i like. that [ __ ] because you know. you know who knows what anybody's doing. when you're not there. but it is what it is. life happens right yeah. yeah i think sometimes i gotta have i. think yeah some of my mentality needs to. be more like everything is gonna be cool. you know i think i get someone a little.
bit paranoid like oh things aren't gonna. be okay you know or i don't or i just. get scared of change and stuff like that. you know um. but i'm working more towards it you know. i would like to have a family and i just. need to. just do it you know and i'll find a good. person i pray a lot about it and you. know i think that that kind of stuff. will happen for me amen yeah that's dope. man. i need you know i would like to have it. um. what else can we ask mike perry about. people love you bro people [ __ ] love. you what is it about you think bro.
because you're you you're the only one. who could really know bro what do you. think it is man. um i mean. i'm a good-looking [ __ ]. and i'm savage. i'm in the fight game because. there's nowhere else for me to be. this it found me. it just i you know you asked me at the. beginning like how did i know or. whatever and i said you know my dad was. crazy and i remember watching bulldog. fights back when i was young i saw it on.
the tv you know we had like six channels. the antenna. and i saw a bulldog and um. i was like oh that's cool and we always. play sports outside basketball football. all that stuff man. i wanted to be a. i don't know i guess if i didn't found. me i wanted to play any sport anything. football basketball. and then boxing. we used to do fight club after school. at school at the soccer field we would.
walk out there and. bring gloves fight. after school were you good at it then. i was strong but like what is good at. fighting because if somebody else. everybody got a trick right they're like. oh i do this fake and then throw this. kick and then. you know i get knocked down but that's. always been my thing it's like you i'm. too tough. too strong. yeah you can hurt me yeah you can hit me. yeah you can knock me down i make.
mistakes but like. i'm gonna wear you out. and then i'm gonna drown you. that's what it's about [ __ ]. damn that's crazy to know you can do. that. yeah how about that's interesting to. know you could do that bro cause if i. say that to somebody. they're not gonna believe that [ __ ]. that's a crazy. and that's fine but no but you don't you. don't say that [ __ ] he's so like as a.
fighter. i'm like i'm always like damn what's a. normal person do. like what do they do. normal person like you a comedian that's. not even normal either. what is normal not a guy who works at. mcdonald's that's not normal. yeah that's not super normal i don't. know maybe somebody that just goes for a. touch on the keyboard or something that. goes for a walk. that seemed like a normal dude if i see. somebody going for a walk but also what. did they do do they type on a keyboard.
for work for money. i don't know i had a friend who was a. peep in tom bro and so if you just and. here's the crazy part. and you know i met him at a certain type. of recovery meeting you know but. and i would see him in my neighborhood. all the time i didn't know for years i. would see him and then one time i was in. a meeting and. that dude said he was a flasher and a. peeping time and i was like damn bro. i've been seeing this dude the whole. time thinking he's a normal guy that's. going for a walk and he's out there. trying to [ __ ] show that bird you. know. and that's crazy and i remember one time.
was at the liquor store with my uncle. and my dad had left me up there for a. couple months and uh. they had this lady came up she goes have. you seen my kitty it was in a liquor. store he was buying liquor. because he was a um. out-of-work musician. and so he's buying a bunch of liquor. and she goes if you see my kitty this. lady and i didn't know we're inside a. store you know in a building and she. just opens her jacket bruh she had all. tits and cooter. man belly and belly fat. i don't remember bro i was so horny at.
the time brawl i saw was literally from. tits to couture i couldn't even see. nothing in between there. and that's that's being horny as a child. shipping is important getting things out. to people you know you want to get. somebody you want something somebody. left a hat or somebody left a uh. a big dish at your house casserole and. they want it back. you got to get it to them. especially if you have a business you. got to get things to people fast.
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shipstation.com. click on the microphone at the top of. the page then type in. t-h-e-o we've used it to ship out the. merch and. i've got the some upstairs on me right. now and um and it's worked well. we're grateful to them and we're. grateful to you shipstation.com. click on the microphone at the top of. the page and type in theo. god i remember how [ __ ] horny i was. bro i [ __ ] beat my dick right into a. damn fence oh wow.
oh man. i would [ __ ] punch my dick i remember. sometimes it was so hard bro sorry i. just said it getting a little weird but. i remember yeah i remember punching my. [ __ ] dick into the video last year of. my girl. smacking me in the nuts as hard as she. could i was in like. i was on my back on the bed like. like a turtle. and i. was like dude i was recording as hard as. you can [ __ ]. smack that [ __ ]. that video had like half a million views.
i deleted it though like a a month later. really why. i don't uh you delete stuff sometimes i. know yeah i delete a lot of [ __ ] dude i. do too people piss me off. i post [ __ ] and i'm like. like i'll post some fight stuff and now. i'm in this move where it's like no. you're gonna wait to see me. in action. i i got some sparring footage and stuff. that and i'm also not trying to like. post me.
beating up people who are helping me out. either you know and sparring you know. you need a spar partner you can't. [ __ ] just always shadowbox and punch. the air yeah you didn't lose so. uh. so i stopped posting a lot of the stuff. you know fighters are like i want to i. want people to know that i'm capable of. like good fighting technique and can. knock people out and i'm swift and i'm i. got that swagger. but. when you post it.
it might not be what you. you know it might not look how you want. that image to be. so and then you know people bring their. comments these [ __ ] who want to. talk [ __ ] about my fight and they never. fought nobody they fight that. they fight themselves out of bed every. morning because they're fat pieces of. [ __ ] or something yeah and. a lot of sick people out there but you. know. the comments mean anything no especially. you man the people your personality is i.
mean. watching you fight is insane bro it's. literally it's like watching something. insane happen good okay. that's just from perspective it's just. you're like damn this is insane bruh but. also your personality people love you. bro so it's almost like i feel like you. they like to [ __ ] with me because i bite. it and i'm like oh no maybe that might. be one. bait right you're a [ __ ] piece of. [ __ ] mike i'm like [ __ ] you bro. they're like oh i hope they say the. worst [ __ ].
say mean [ __ ] and then sometimes they. say something like oh that's you don't. [ __ ] move your head and they do this. and you're like okay [ __ ] you're you're. kind of right yeah. but like you're not right because. like the head moving your head comment. first of all. no one has taken the hits that i've. taken. obviously i'm moving some type of way. because i take them hits. but you know so.
you just you type on that keyboard and. i'm gonna [ __ ] type on some ass out. here i'm gonna type on somebody's face. yeah with my fist baby a sdf baby did. you ever um. do you like taking the hits. yeah. sometimes i try to tell myself you know. don't like it too much it's not the idea. but sometimes i can bait people. to be in the right place like that movie. wanted you know and the guy's standing.
in the eggs. yeah yeah he's standing on the x and. he's like oh [ __ ]. uh you right where i wanted you. come here you go come on with. it bait bait and switch. are there times when you know right when. you throw the punch that this game over. do you is there ever that does that ever. kind of happen or is it too fast. for a touch no yeah cause. all the best all the best knockouts i. feel like i've had. i feel like you don't feel them like.
when i got ellen burger. i was just like moving. and i didn't even feel that on my elbow. um. a couple right hands i hit people with. didn't even feel it you know and. like that england fight danny roberts i. need him i hit him with the right hand. need him. just like trying to get him on the way. down. you never know you always try to uh. hit them till they stop you that's your. job you know is to fight until they.
separate you it's not your job to stop. fighting because you're bit winning. yeah kill that [ __ ] that i mean. their blood contracts if someone dies no. one's in trouble. wow a lot of people don't die i guess. that's part of it if someone dies no. one's in trouble that's the thing about. me is right i'm tough enough you gonna. have to kill me. some maybe i'm gonna fight someone who's. maybe capable. maybe that's mvp maybe that's the.
highlight of the fight right he's. capable he's knocked out some people in. some pretty severe ways i'm really. excited. to test that's my bone against his. that's a london fella yeah. mvp is a bellator guy. he yeah yeah he threw you know about him. he threw that pokeball at that dude. after he like. crushed his skull with his knee but he. don't got knees in this fight with me he. just got his hand. and he moves he's trying not to get hit. and things like that but.
you know i keep thinking you know he. might not be the one that shows up. oh you think they might switch it out. we'll see you'll be there i'll be there. i'll be ready i don't care who it is. i'll be ready but. it is cool uh this fight. before the ufc days when i was like. seven and oh seven knockouts. it went through facebook it got pretty. big buzz we were trying to make the me. versus mvp fights.
uh since back then. uh i'm a fan of mvp he's done some. really cool stuff but i feel like he's. always fought people. that were put there for him to do that. to them. and i'm not the one that you can just do. that to so we're both in for a fight. here i don't think he's the one i think. he'll be very hard for me to hit he's. very elusive he's like. that that thing at the car dealership. yeah yeah. yeah buy this car comes yeah yeah i'ma.
catch his ass though damn. [ __ ] they hit the switch and the air. just come down. it's time for me to knock somebody out. it. and is about time man do you uh do can. you really is there really times you. where you are baiting people where you. were like okay i know i can get them to. hit me right here then they're gonna be. in a place where i can. yeah. i mean i just i feel like um.
oh that's kind of one thing i thought. the other day about that moving the head. thing is like. why move your head if you could just. throw a punch. if you can hit them. instead of dodging them and then not. doing [ __ ]. just hit them. that's how i think you see people who. fight with their hands down. oh yeah oh. i'll be damned. michael van page is going to stand in. front of me with his hands down the. whole time.
and i'm gonna [ __ ] throw punches at. him the whole time and make him put his. [ __ ] hands up i'm gonna hit him and. he's gonna have to put his hands up i. think it's so disrespectful when people. be there hands down and the other guy. just doesn't know how to enter right. because every time he comes in the dude. just throws something up and it it lands. it's got power the pocket shot that's. what they call that the pocket shot your. hands are down by your pockets and you. throw from the hip roy jones used to. knock a lot of people out like that.
but i'll be damned and someone gonna. stand in front of me with their hands. down learn how to punch you gotta just. go for it. is there about you see maybe even. outside of your weight class do you have. any thoughts like uh of uh like are. there any ufc bouts that you wanted that. you didn't get kind of was there one. that kind of you kind of wish would have. happened. and it still could i mean who knows man. still could i get right. i'm a fighter you can i'm gonna fight. everyone's vision every cli everything i. will fight anything llc yeah you know me. versus mike tyson me versus jon jones me.
versus jake paul me versus logan paul. floyd mayweather i'm trying to put. myself in a winning category it's no. disrespect obviously. me versus kamara usman i mean. and i think. you know that's the thing they wanna. they wanna you know ufc is pretty big. and uh it looks good when they're when. their champions win their championship. they got their nice looking belt they. changed the belt the belt used to be.
kind of cooler but now it's cool too it. just looks like a power ranger thing now. i like the old belt honestly yeah. the fence and the bare knuckles and [ __ ]. or the brass knuckles or something and. um. all right that was like oh anyways. um. i don't. you know do i ever want to be so special. that i. i would look at the sport of bare. knuckle boxing. and. not give it its respect and say.
i ain't doing that [ __ ]. that [ __ ] looks terrible i'm not doing. that i don't know. it it might look terrible a lot of times. but when it does look good or when you. see someone beat the f out of somebody. you're like that guy needs a challenge. right. there should be two monsters in there. really showing what real combat is like. bare knuckle punching in the face. and you can hold a little bit to try to.
protect yourself. but mostly separate and box and it feels. grittier when you're when i'm watching. it man when i'm watching it and i first. even learned about it because of you. that's the first reason i even learned. about uh that my attention got drawn to. it and i was like damn that is [ __ ]. really real i'm looking to be quite. different next time from the first one i. mean julian lane was tough. um he was he was strong.
excuse me i hit him with a lot of shots. and then my hands were busted and i. toned down the power a lot on the shots. and. the cleanliness but since that fight. since everything i've learned from my. first bare knuckle fight the the things. that you can learn only from doing it. you can't practice it who's gonna. bare-knuckle spar you. know a lot of people not a lot of kid. nobody and then you don't want to get. cut because barn training all that. you're both going to be cut and have to.
go get stitches that's going to cost. thousands of dollars. so. you know. the. you can't practice it you can only learn. from jumping in the ring and. trying it out and doing it so once i did. that now i've been finding out more. about my knuckles about my punching. ability about how the shots should land. and are you training i've really been. yeah i've really been. focused on. you know.
there's some there's some days i'll go. in the gym and i'll beat the bag up. bare knuckle sometimes i'll wrap the. wrists and beat em up bear knuckle and. then i get carried away and then i can't. use my hands for a week because i just. destroy i burn all the skin on them i. get these big nasty scabs and then my. bones get so hard that like i you know. what you can't even lift up a muffin. like yeah you know. i always be able to lift something up i.
ain't never gonna complain trust me this. ain't complaints this is facts. you know you got ice and stuff like that. i gotta i gotta get a video somebody joe. rogan been doing in videos in the damn. ice bath. i'm about to get in there. and show. my toughness. i saw a couple people do ice bath videos. that's a good video yeah i i i just got. an ice bath not too long ago it's good. yeah but i don't know if anything will. [ __ ] cool you all bro i think you. just i think you run at your own.
temperature dog. yeah try to be fiery you know i think. you do man i think i try to keep my cool. too though it's that line the fire and. ice. this you're in uh. almost in orlando you're in daytona. we're in daytona and orlando uh back in. the day they had. oh you know what i don't. know if those rides are still here they. used to have the dueling dragons ride oh. yeah it was carnival islands of. adventure. islands of adventure.
universal studios this is big thing here. and uh i had you know passes and they. got the volcano bay. all the. um. volcano bays kind of fun as water slides. but the fire and ice they had the the. two dragons and these roller coasters. like intertwined and like they would. come at each other and it was good do. flips and [ __ ] it was crazy yeah. dude do you ever remember uh. do you ever remember um what subject you. were best at in school do you remember i.
was just thinking how i can't um stay on. subject and how i keep changing the. subject all the time right but like in. class was there ever one subject you. were like oh this is the one i like or. this is the one i was really good at oh. man algebra man i was really good at. math. uh. you know i count this money and uh yeah. yeah yeah. you know i can tell the time really well. i but when i went to school i woke up. it's [ __ ] early. sometimes i wouldn't even go to sleep.
and go to school. and uh. i would first thing i would do and i. wore a tank top every day basketball. shorts and a tank top i was the only kid. allowed to do it in school i think i was. i think he just did it yeah and they. just couldn't tell me no i just did it. they let me do what i want i guess like. yeah i used to go to school. i would. play i would gamble cards or dice in the. morning. five dollars lunch money i might leave. to 20 bucks that day or i might be.
[ __ ] hungry that day i might lose. five bucks i'd lose to you just so. you're not walking around hungry i think. no no no man. we was all hungry kids we was all hungry. kids trying to take from the next yeah. and then you know worst case scenario. lunch time come around you steal. somebody's french fries or something. yeah and uh anyways i gamble in the. morning. and then i would go lift weights. and then i would go play basketball. those were my first two classes. weightlifting and then basketball.
i was short stocky dude. it's about lunch damn and then it was. lunch it was weights. basketball lunch. and then. i was like sure it was school bro and. then it was like this is school and then. it was nap time bro yeah damn bro that. was school bro that might be juvenile. detention. i never.
he's going to play sport or something. i knew i wanted to fight i remember my. first day in high school or something. maybe we had an english assignment. i was like ninth grade or something and. then. they were like what do you want to do. and i stood up and almost got into a. fight because i said i want to be a. fighter. and somebody's like get your ass back i. said who [ __ ] who gonna beat my ass you. ain't gonna do it. and they didn't bruh like that now.
everybody know apk baby that's apopka. florida we out here we did it. we out here all my boys back at school. first girl baby. well look man best of luck over there in. london bro i know you don't need it but. are you just going for press right now. when you're coming back yeah but you. know. i fight at presses and stuff people try. me they can't be. they you know don't. i mean i'm bored. but you bringing me out here for i'm a. fighter and you're bringing me out to. talk we'll talk we'll see let's see if.
mvp says some good jokes if he opens up. first or if he's just gonna be. respectful and like me i'm gonna have to. open this [ __ ] up you know. bring it i'm bringing the heat we might. fight at any given chance so be ready. i'll be ready. i'll [ __ ]. swing first and last that's the best way. to win a fight. i'm gonna hit them when they're not. looking. distract them. low blow.
eye gouge. bites. hard [ __ ] tickle fast tickle. [ __ ]. tickles are good. surprise that [ __ ] and when they laugh. you [ __ ] hit him dog hit him in the. [ __ ] neck bro i'm gonna knock a word. out their they didn't know he's about to. say. uh baloney. [ __ ] surprising bro. mike perry man i'm a huge fan bro thank. you so much for coming and spending time. with me man it's nice to see you and. your family and uh. keep fighting bro it's fun to watch or.
just keep doing whatever you want to do. bro i like watching you whatever you do. thank you so much uh theo it's a. pleasure to meet you brother yeah thanks. for letting me hit a ufc fighter too bro. sorry thanks for letting me hit a. [ __ ] fighter bro i appreciate it yeah. thank you. it's cool the ufc is attached to me like. that with people oh it always well i. mean you could do you you i don't it's. interesting about you it's like what. what else they gonna make that mike can. do. they keep making ultimately at the end. of the day right if it's you know some.
there's a lot of people entertained by. fighting and i try to bring a good fight. um. i think you know mike tyson did a comedy. tour i think you guys are ballsy for. going out in front of a crowd just. talking well it's a different kind of. it's like you take these hits but it's. like when that when when you tell a joke. or you say something and they don't. there's not a response. there's that moment of like. right it's a different kind of pain bro. it's a different kind of [ __ ] pain. you know and then you want more of it.
that's the interesting thing about. it i think even stripper uh strippers i. think are kind of like comedians. anyway somebody expresses themselves you. know. i'm doing them windmills on the pole. with your balls swinging for you your. legs too short right you can't have no. short legs stripper out there. yeah. i want my upper body huh. look i run man i got a good leg you look. great. i'm not look dude i didn't say [ __ ]. somebody else said that [ __ ] bro these. [ __ ] around here dawg this.
neighborhood is going downhill. but i'm just saying bro you can't have a. short-legged stripper out there bro. stick with what you're doing man you're. doing great thank you for uh. entertaining the world man. thank you so much brother. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel like these. [Music]. oh but when i reach that ground i'll. share this piece of mind i found i can.
feel it. in my balls. but it's gonna take. a little time. for me to set that parking brake. and let myself all mine. i'll sit and tell you my stories.
[Music]. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. past. and these rails that i've been riding on. they want so thin that they're damn.
they're. now.
