Matt McCusker | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #652
It's springtime around here. You know. that because you can see the bees. The. bees are out there. Go see them. They're. just be just being bees. And we're running a spring sale. That's. what we're doing in honor of spring. We're being. on sale. We've got a mix of tees, hoodies, and hats. Uh all 20% off right. now. And there's a limited quantity left. on the Year of the Rat hoodies. This one. right here. I wear it. I love it. It's. my favorite type of hoodie. That's the.
only time only type we're selling. anymore is my favorite type. All that. and more available at the vonstore.com. Um I hope everyone uh is having a good. day and thank you for your support. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. Um. he's one half of the Matt and Shane's. Secret podcast. Uh he's the shaman. He. is he's on a higher frequency. He. operates in a a special realm. and he's. on the road soon. So, if you get a.
chance, I recommend that you go see him. Um I it's just if you even get to spend. time with this guy, it's a smart choice. I'm thankful to be able to do that. today. My guest is Mr. Matt McCusker. >> Shine. a song. There we go. Look at that.
Beautiful. Huh? Crap out of my pockets. >> Oh, dude. That's one thing, bro. How. much do guys start? And I'm a guy. >> Yeah. >> And it's like the we start to have. in our pockets. >> Look at that. You have glasses around. the neck. >> I. >> The phone phone, wallet, keys. >> I need an upper. I need a downer. You. know, >> you need the little nicotine. >> Yeah, you got BC powders. You're.
>> We need pocketbooks, dude. Some guys. have already adopted pocketbook. technology. We need. >> We need an auto, >> guys. The purse, whatever. Pocketbook. >> Oh, that thing. >> Yeah. Yep. Yep. >> That fanny pack that people wear around. their heart or whatever. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> their satchel. >> That's a weird one, though. Like the. fanny pack on the heart. That guy is. always like, "What's going on here?" I. think you I think you have to like if. you're going to have one, you have to. have a gun in there just so you can. maintain. You know what I mean? >> But one of those little guns or. whatever. >> Yeah, I think a tiny like James Bond.
like a little 38 little snub. [laughter]. >> A be nice, man. Good to see you, dude. >> Bro, pleasure to see you, man. >> Yeah, congrats on everything, bro. >> Thank you, man. >> Yeah, you guys' podcast is crushing it. And you're on tour right now, too. >> Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah. I got to uh Where. am I going? I'm going to. uh I know I know I have Phoenix. Phoenix. is haunting me. I don't know what what's. up with the city of Phoenix. I got to do. the celebrity theater. So, it's like the. little one in the round. Yeah. I I hope. that's full. Otherwise, we're going to. have like a semicircle. It's going to be.
that would be pretty bad [laughter] if I. couldn't do the if I could only do like. 270 degrees, [laughter]. just a U. So, yeah. I get Phoenix and uh. Yeah. >> Yeah. Go support that one, guys, in. Phoenix. >> Yeah, man. And everywhere else. But. yeah, man. I've been good, man. Just. chilling. >> Yeah. pull up Matt's dates just so we. have them, please. >> Yes, thank you. >> Um Oh, there we go. >> St. Paul. There we go. St. Paul. >> Yeah. Where you at in this thing right. now? >> I'm I'm towards the end. I'm at the I'm. at the bottom half or the bottom like. quarter here. >> Okay. St. Paul, Indianapolis.
>> Yep. I got Desmo. Yeah. Yeah. St. Paul, Desmond Moines, Phoenix, Tucson, Toronto, and Chicago. >> Oh, you hell. You got Desmond. You got. Desmond's obviously a black guy. >> Design. >> Let's just [laughter] say that, dude. And they but you don't but there's not a. lot of them there because you expect to. see them when you get there. >> Dez Moines I think he invented jelly. >> One guy did peanut butter jelly. >> Yeah, Dez mo please. Uh Tucson, bro. >> Tucson's huge. >> Great place to get some uh um coral.
What's that blue coral? That rock. It's. a lot of older women wear the silver and. the. >> what? >> Coral. Is it good for like like a. magnetic bracelet you talking about? Yeah. People, [laughter]. >> a lot of people with a lot of copper and. uh opal or whatever. >> Okay. >> What's a blue stone? Yeah, it's a lot of. that out there. A lot of people. missing arms. >> Oh, okay. I It's like the mystical end. of Arizona. There's like the. >> Yes. >> guys with their pants up to here. Arizonans and there's like Yeah, I got. you.
>> It's shaman country, dude. Do you think. those would be your vibes over there? >> Yeah, I've I've never been to Tucson. yet. Phoenix, I'm telling you, I like. Phoenix. It's just I don't know why. It's always It's always There's always. cities I have that tickets go great. There's other cities where they're like. a slog. >> Yeah. >> Phoenix tradition. Just like. historically has been a slog. >> It's okay. I I just accept it. It is. what it that's just Phoenix. That's my. Phoenix experience. >> Yeah. >> So, >> dang, dude. Yeah. I think for some like. that for me you're like Minneapolis, Puerto Rico. >> Puerto Rico. >> Sell tickets in Puerto Rico. I noticed. >> Really? >> Yeah. [clears throat].
>> I'm like PR. >> That kind of surprises me honestly. I. feel like you would rock the PR ticket. market. >> Yeah. I Yeah, that's kind of. >> Me too, dude. [laughter]. the bletas. Um, yeah, dude. Great to see you, bro. What's cracking? What's new right now in. your world, man? >> Dude, I I the only thing I can even It's. boring, but it's just gardening. I've. been gardening non-stop. I I got ahead. of it this year. Last year, I planted. when it was already too hot. Everything. got scorched. So, yeah. I got some. blackberries and raspberries I'm waiting.
on. So, >> really? >> Yeah. I've been a big I've been I've. been big on that, man. Trying to grow. stuff. I got garlic coming. So. >> So, blackberries and garlic. And this is. all in your own yard. >> Oh, shoot. That's my garden. Yeah, that's it's been revamped. The hail. storm destroyed my blueberry bushes. Yeah, it's in my like a little backyard. >> But you're making the most out of it. now. Can you feed your family here, Matt? >> No, dude. It's so sad. So, that's a. blueberry bush. It got destroyed in the. hail stom. That one's coming back to. life as well. >> And is there any reward from the like. the government subsidize this kind of. or whatever? I I should get I.
should get some sort of subsidy. But. there we had a blueberry bush and we had. it produced one literally one blueberry. the first time I did it and me and my. whole family cut it into fours and we. each had a fourth of a blueberry. [laughter]. We would be dead if I actually had to. farm. We would all be dead. I've gotten. like five radishes, one blueberry and. the raspberries were flowing, man. And. then just the hail stom wiped just. completely wiped me out. So. >> And was there stuff you could have done. in advance to prepare for that? Cuz I. mean and do the does it feel like the. plants look to you for like the. leadership or you don't feel that at.
all? >> Cuz I've never had a garden yet. >> Yeah. So here's the thing. You can be. like that. There's a lot of doing mother. type gardeners. I'm a stern father. If. you can't pull your own, you you die. I. need I need producers. I need people who. are going to adapt to the elements. Like. I'm not going to baby any of these. plants. >> Like Stalin. >> Yeah. Completely. It's it's a completely. totalitarian system. My wife's like, "Well, bring that one in." I'm like, "If. it can't handle the sun, it's dead.". Yeah. >> I'll get someone who can handle the sun. I'm not out here babying these plants, bro. I got I have kids. I'm not worried. about a plan. >> I got to sit here cry about a beantock. It's dead. Pull it out.
>> Yeah. >> Throw it in the compost next. So. >> I run a ruthless garden. It's completely. ruthless. I had a rat that just died. >> Dude, you him. >> Dude, he was That's the thing with. gardening. It does kind of connect you. to like a real life or death thing cuz. it's like I, you know, I don't want to. kill I don't want to kill an animal, but. then it starts eating like, you know, starts just munching all your leafy. greens and you're like, I'm not about to. grow food for a rat. That's So. then like I had a guy come out and the. guy gave um it was like an exterminator. and this stuff he gave it he's like dude.
this stuff's the real deal. Don't let. your dogs get it. Cuz my dog had eaten. rat poison once. No problem. Survived. And I was like oh he'll be all right. He's like no this is like. fiberglass in it. So when the rat eats. the poison the fiberglass cuts his lungs. and he starts like drowning in his own. blood. Who created this Netanyahu? [laughter]. >> I think so. just that's the same. stuff they were putting in the. Palestinians food that they were giving. them, [laughter] which is. heartbreaking. [gasps] But. >> that's a fair point. But the um.
>> and why are they trying to kill them so. hard? Like. >> Dude, I Well, they they just like that's. their job, man. They're they're like cuz. if they if they half step it and you. still have rats, you're going to call. them all pissed off. So like the poison. messes them up, but the the like. fiberglass or whatever really makes sure. they die no matter what. And also rats. won't die around the colony. They'll. like a dog, they'll run off and find. solitude and die. >> And we got rid of this chair recently. So we, you know, it was like hogging up. a space in our in our backyard and we. when we lifted it up, there was a dead. rat, one of the dead rats back there. It.
had been laying there so long. I picked. it up. Dude, it its face was gone. >> It like really like kind of me. up. Like it was yesterday. I picked it. up. I had like, you know, two sticks put. together and I was like, "This thing's. been sitting for a while. Let me peep. its face." Dude, just a void where its. face was like things ate its face. >> Yeah. just a hole for where it face was. And I was like, damn, that me up. You're living in a damn saw. episode [laughter] over there. >> Dude, gardening is crazy. >> Where are you gardening at? >> Just my backyard. >> Transylvania, dude. [laughter] It just.
sounds insane, bro. >> Gardening is crazy, though, cuz you get. like you have little spider allies. I. see my spider my orb weavers in my. garden. I kind of they're like they're. on my team. We're fighting the bugs, the. rats. I'm I'm trying to fight the rats, but we we got them, I think, under under. control. How did you know that you were. having issues with uh with the rats? >> I'd see them right in my face just. munching my I'd like open the door and. they just be munching my. >> Oh yeah, we ballsy. [laughter] I would. see them. I'd be like, "What the fuck?". They are kind of cute though. They're. called cotton rats. So they're these big.
guys and they have these like they have. these really furry coats. I I kind of. like them, but then they started. in my grill and I was like, "We're done.". >> Yeah, they they honestly I would have. tolerated them, but they they completely. over push overststepped their. boundaries. There we go. That dude, there he is. That's the exact guy. Imagine one of those guys. No face. Hole. for a face. >> Zoom in on him. >> Look at that little guy. Little fat. little earring guys. Look like gerbles. almost. >> Yeah, it's that little floor bear. >> Yeah. Look, he's he's munching on. somebody's herbs right now.
>> One of God's little magnuggets them. little. >> They're thick, huh? >> They're thick as hell. >> Thick as hell. They had a burrow. underneath my little porch in the back. of my garden. And also, people were. like, "Oh, just dump cayenne peppers.". All this. Dude, I dumped like I got like. 4 lbs of red pepper flakes. Just laced. the whole garden. Dude, that guy was. just sitting in a bed of it. I'm like, "Man, get out of here. This. Give me the fiberglass poison." There's. always all those tricks, dude. Like, if. you uh if you'll siphon some piss out of. a senior citizen or something and put it. out there.
>> Yeah. Rub a baby's ass on the. spray rails or whatever. Nobody will. fall down [laughter] it. >> Yeah. Nobody will get hurt again. >> Doesn't work. It doesn't work. The. exterminators come. Not even the Home. Depot. And I don't want to, you know, mess up Home Depot about them. They're. done. >> Dude, that none of that stuff. works. You need a professional. exterminator. And they have like like. Dr. Evil weapons. That's the only thing. that gets him. >> Well, did you get one of those guys who. comes and he's tatted and he's like has. all his like AA years of recovery. medallions around his neck and.
he's. >> ideally that's what you want. >> Yeah. >> But this this guy's pretty chill. He's. pretty clean, but he uh you could tell. he's been around he's been around the. stuff for a while. The other guy I know. got bit by a rattlesnake. Literally got. bit. He drove himself to the hospital. yeah. That's dude. >> Bro, it's crazy. I I got nothing but. love for exterminators. Do you ever have. like a horrible infestation of any kind? [snorts]. >> Just these hoes. >> True. [laughter]. Basically, sorry, I was just making a. meme clip. That was basically just so.
>> Oh, he needs a strong hand for that. But. no, I've never had anything like that. You know, actually, you know what? Bring. up some of these exterminators first. I. want to see some of these. >> Let's Good call. >> Let's get a gander at some of these 10. America's top 10 most extreme. exterminators, including women. >> There we go. >> A lot of these will kill. anything they go around. There we go. Look at that guy. Look at extreme. >> Yeah. Look at that guy right. there sand blasting a [laughter]. >> Yeah, they're giving This is I need to.
see the real guys. This is the. uh It's like the stock footage. Yeah, it's all Teeu man. >> Yeah. No, that's None of the. Exterminators look like these guys. These are male models. >> Yeah. I mean, there's Billy the. Exterminator. There's that guy. And he. passed away. >> Did he really? >> Yeah. >> And dude, short shelf life on those. guys. I mean, you're you're literally. dealing in poison. >> You're out there just spraying. glyphosate on everything. You're out. there. >> those bug bombs, they what they do is. they inhibit um reproductive systems. So, like like I had fleas and I had to. do a bug bomb. The Home Depot was.
So, I got the real guy. He. came out and. >> [snorts]. >> uh when I did the first one, I lit it. off. Like, you know, you pull the thing. and it's supposed to give you 10. seconds. It just exploded in my face. >> So, I just got drenched in this and. had run at the Fourth of July place. [laughter] where you get that. roasted. >> cuz they'll put those things in. together, dude. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> dude. They they they just that you can't. reproduce. So, it just like scorches bug. genitals and then they just just sit. have to watch like the apocalypse. There's there's like colony of them. >> Is this Palunteer online? Where are you?
[laughter] I just can't even believe. you're involved in all this, dude. And. your children are what? Sleeping inside. [laughter]. Well, I came in from like talking to the. exterminator and I'm like, "Bro, this. rat poison is crazy. I forgot my two. daughters were there." And I'm like, "Yeah, those little mice." And they like. watch it play and they're like, "Oh, the. mouse is back." I'm like, "What it does. is it it cuts their lungs and they drown. in their own blood." My wife's like, "Chill, dude." I'm like, "Yeah, my bad. [laughter]. My bad. My bad.". >> Um, are you part of a group with the. gardening or how? >> I'm lone wolf. I have thought about. joining a group, but I I'm like, do you.
ever when you ever do something like. that? It's it's just it's too much human. interaction for me. I just I like to. like figure it out by myself. Maybe a. maybe one mentor would be good. A whole. group. There's bound to be someone I. don't like. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to be battling. I'm like, "No, thank you.". >> Some guy trying to get you to buy his. soil or some other thing. >> Something like that. Or just just a just. a run-of-the-mill know-it-all. >> Yeah. any any adult any group of just adults. together, there's going to be at least. one if not two like unbearable guys. usually. Like you ever like adult.
education, there's always one person. who's going to raise your hand, talk for. 10 minutes every time. It's just like, bro, shut up, man. >> Or when you go to like that DUI course, some guy who's like, [laughter]. >> you know, >> like he's never going to drink and drive. again. Dude, [laughter]. first of all, one of God's rules is. nobody gets just one DWI, you know? >> I know. I know. It's everyone everyone. needs to get one. My uh my friend, it. was funny. It was a couple years ago, but he he had one. I think he was the. last one to get one, but his brother had. one and his dad had one and they're all.
at like family Christmas party with. extended family and he like. >> they're all drinking beer and he like. cheers them like hey the three we all. have DUIs, guys. And I think his dad was. trying to keep his under wraps. He was. like, [laughter] "Shut the up.". He did a DUI cheers. And you know, thought he would go over better. Dude, there's nothing sadder than a dad. getting a DUI on his way home from work. and he's been drinking or whatever. >> Dude, they get them, man. They I know a. lot of guys who just quietly you get. them and you're like, "All right, all. right. You got me. You got me." Dude, they drive. Yeah, that's.
>> Oh, my stepdad got one. My dad would be. drunk. He would park his car just like. wherever it kind of stopped, like by our. gate or whatever. So my mom would. be out there yelling at this 77y. old man who's just unconscious. in a white LTD that he was not. even at a certain point dude he wasn't. strong enough to get the door back open. once he got in. >> So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd. get home from work and we didn't know. We'd be inside. >> leave him out there all night.
>> Crazy, dude. Well, dude, that's the. thing. They were allowed to drink and. drive. Like drinking and driving was. like like my dad is almost 70 and like. when they were in high school, cops. would pull you'd be hammered driving a. car and they'd be like, "Come on, man. Get the hell." It would take your beer. and be like, "Get out of here.". >> Yeah. >> You didn't get in trouble for it. So all. of a sudden now it's criminalized. woke That's a good. point. [laughter] No, >> it's pretty bad. It's very dangerous. There we go. >> Who's this guy? >> Ster. That's exterminator. >> And if he has a church behind him, if he. means it, who is he?
>> It's AI. Well, if I think if you just go. to YouTube, say you put in like Tucson. Extreme Exterminator. If you go to some. of those places and just look for some, try to make it by city or whatever you. have to do to see if you can come up. with some. >> Yeah, let's get some organic. >> Yeah, it'd be nice if by the end we had. some. >> Damn, exterminators are really they keep. they keep themselves hidden. >> Well, I think first of all, I wonder if. that's a dying game. >> I don't I don't think so, man. Cuz it's. like. >> is it running the family? Because a lot. of times you'll be like, you know, my. dad was a fireman. I'm a fireman. And.
then the third kid is like, I'm not I'm. just fat or whatever. >> Yeah. True. Yeah. No, that's. >> But there's always that lineage, you. know, like I love hot dogs, my dad loves. hot dogs, >> my son loves hot dogs, and then you have. like gay son like. >> who really likes hot dogs. [laughter]. >> Yeah. The uh Dude, I think it's just. like one of the It's just one of those. gigs. I think it's just like a get out. of jail gig and you know, you do it. especially if you like do it for. yourself. That's a lot of them. It's. just like it's a business you can get. into. It's like cleaning. You can run a.
you can start a cleaning company pretty. easily. It's very low overhead. >> A lot of strippers do it. >> Yeah, that's actually actually a great. Yeah, it's a great move. >> And it's it's their gate. It's like a. re-entry program into I've hung out with. a lot of strippers and me even made out. in their cars sometimes and you'll have. like a mop handle coming across your. shoulder and you know? >> That's when you know they're on the. ascension. >> Oh yeah. >> You see that, you know, this is actually. a good sign. >> This this this lady's got her act. together. >> Hop in, there's a ninemonth old in a car. seat. You're like, bad sign. This lady. needs some mop. He's sleeping on a a. pack of Swiffer replacement uh covers.
>> I I tried my hand at stripper dating. It. wasn't, you know, I had nothing against. them. I just wasn't cut out for it was. it was a little too rough and tumble for. me. >> You have to be a boss. You have to also. work late hours to be a stripper's. boyfriend. You were working they working. late hours. You have to be up when they. get home. Dude, my sister had a friend. that was a stripper, right? Yes. And um. she would come over to our house and. and her and my sister always. fighting and stuff and uh and then she. stole our vacuum one time, right? >> Trying to break into the industry. >> Velissa, that was her name. Velissa,
which isn't even a name. >> Velissa. [laughter]. >> Like, what name is it? Velissa. >> That's kind name. >> It's crazy, dude. And uh so she stole. our vacuum. Dude, two years later, I'm. at like one of these real fancy uh. parties where they have a woman pop out. of the cake or whatever. Like, you know, the thing you kind of see on TV, like. they actually had a girl pop out of the. cake. They had two cakes. >> and two girls pop out of him and like it. was a big birthday for this guy and uh.
>> and they were strippers, right? And one. of them was the woman. >> Whoa. >> It was Verissa. >> who had stolen our vacuum, dude. And so. guys are tipping her and and I'm. just like. >> waiting. I'm just in the back just like. we're just making vacuum sounds and. and locking on her. >> That's up to take someone's. vacuum, too. That's a That could really. throw a household under quick. >> And me and my sister were on our last. limb as neighbors, dude. And we lived. under this family that was like very. heavy boned.
>> Yeah. I mean, they're stomping. >> Yes. And they were beating each other. I. think there was domestic abuse. >> Yikes. >> And I would call the police all the time. on them. I've called the police. I've. always called the police a lot since I. was since I was a child. But. >> yeah, >> um. >> I would call the police all the time and. I'd be like, "He has a gun." That's what. I would say every time. >> That's a good They get right there. >> They're right there. >> Yeah. >> If you're like, "Hey, he's beating this. woman. He one of his kids. He. tied his kid to a tree outside or. whatever.". >> Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> He just put a bunch of crow food on his. kids' shoulders and tied him to a tree.
outside. Never go. >> They don't get Yeah. They're not going. to gun is That's the code. That's the. fast pass. >> cuz they want the action, dude. >> They do. They love it. And well, they. get like cred. If a cop takes a gun off. the street, that's something they get. like accolades for. Bringing a guy's. like just socked his wife in the. stomach. Nobody your sergeant doesn't. like pat you on the back. If you get a. gun, that's like a that's like a cop. like Pac-Man pellet that like takes you. further in your journey. >> Yeah, >> that's a bit that's like literally a. metric for cops. >> How many guns you get and all that. stuff. >> Were you almost on the force ever? >> No, my wife was on the cop. So, I got to.
like observe secondhand. I Dude, I. thought so hard about becoming a cop, but I I could I wasn't able to do it. >> That's right. Your wife was a cop, huh? >> Yeah, I was selling weed, so I couldn't. become a cop. [laughter]. >> But you guys met, dude. >> We met before. Yeah, we met before that. But the uh. >> But she was a cop when you met her? >> No, she wasn't a cop. She just surprised. me one day. I was like, I think I'm. going to become a police officer. And I. was like, she was a cop now. >> No, no, no. She did it for like 5 years. >> She ever cop? >> She was for 5 years in Philadelphia. >> Okay. >> That's being a cop, dude. >> Yeah, dude. She was she was on like a.
little foot she was on foot patrol and. everything. And she was in like not the. best area for sure in Philly. like. north. Uh, >> no, she was in South like gray fairyish. So, it's like it's it's pretty it's. pretty rough. >> A lot of areas there. >> Yeah, it's it was like gang. There were. some gangs there for sure. It was like. an old Irish neighborhood of like pretty. I would say pretty hardcore white trash. and then it was like black gangs, you. know? It's a brutal it's not a good mix, >> but the uh So, yeah. And you got to cops. got to watch like videos too of like all. the bad stuff that happened. You get an. email of like like a 14-year-old got.
shot up in a deli last night. It's just. lively. It's like the video. It's like I. don't Why do they make them watch that. stuff, dude? Well, Twitter makes us all. watch all that. >> Yeah, true, true. [laughter]. >> Like, dude, I'm not a cop. That's what. I'm going to start replying to. some of these Twitter feeds. >> Send this to the authorities. >> I wake up in the middle of the night for. some reason, turn on my phone, next. thing I've seen seven people getting. massacred outside of some like um. outside of like a car dealership in uh. outside of Tijuana or something. What? Yeah. >> What portal of hell did I just take. myself [laughter] through? >> Dude, X is crazy now. I remember like I.
remember when it was Twitter it was like. there's too much censorship and I'm like. yeah dude like let me see the real. now. I'm kind of like let's go let's. censor this heavily again. My my I can't. even go on X anymore. It's my I get all. like race baiting kind of like race war. propaganda where it's like can you. believe it's just non-stop. >> Huh? >> You know you can you know you watch it. and you're like. >> you get the race war propaganda. >> Yeah, dude. I get like lots of like uh I. get a lot of like white supremacy stuff. >> Yeah. I swear to God, I don't even like.
I don't like or. >> They want you back. They know you have a. black wife. They want me back. They want. me, man. They're trying to break me out. of that. But it's just like Yeah. It's. it's it's rough. I'll be like watching. trying to scroll next to my wife and. it'll be like a guy screams the n-word. I'm like, "What was that?" I'm like, "Some video going back to. Instagram just a guy screaming the n. word again." I'm like, "Oh. [laughter]. my ex feed's just completely bonkers.". >> Dude, Elon should do better than that. He should want better than that for. society. I feel like Yeah. >> You know, I think there's a lot of smut. It's just trash. It's It feels like.
trash. Honestly, I think there was a. spot where it felt like. >> I mean I guess there's still some good. video and stuff on there. You'll see. like I'll see like some good political. stuff on there. Um but I do feel like. outside of that it's losing I feel like. it's kind of starting to lose its vibe. >> I think so. Well, it's then you read the. news, it's like this now valued at $90. trillion and like how how the why is. this worth so much money now? I I don't. know. Maybe maybe though if you do flood.
it with porn and like violence, it does. make a bazillion dollars. So, >> good business-wise, he might be crushing. it. But I it's too I had a I've stepped. off of X. >> Yeah. >> Can't I can't I just can't watch it. It's too much. >> It's too much. >> Yeah. I'm trying to go to bed. I'm. trying to drown myself to sleep. I'm. trying to have a decent life [laughter]. killing animals in my backyard. >> Yeah. >> Only when necessary. >> Yeah. >> And what is funny too? Like Yeah. You're. like trying to like, you know, I want to. live in a safe neighborhood. Then you're. just watching just people being shot in. the face and you're like, why am I doing.
this in my safe house? This is crazy, >> dude. It's We're at a point for sure. One of the biggest things I'm noticing. or for myself that I noticed, we're at a. point. What the am I talking about? [laughter] Uh that's insane. >> We might be at a point. Let's see. Yeah. where like I have to control what comes. into me, man. >> Yeah. >> And if I don't, then that's my. fault. >> Yeah, it's true. >> You know, now the algorithm, the people. that make the algorithms should be able. to be held liable if like someone goes. and does a crime based on like them.
feeding them like the same type. [clears throat] of Like. somebody goes and shoots out a place cuz. they got indoctrinated into some really. strong and uh like sadistic beliefs or. something. >> because the algorithm fed them that. I. think that those people should be held. liable. >> Yeah, man. Or it's tough. Case by case. is tough because it's like, well, how do. you like in court obviously like the. moral thing? Yeah. But like a lawyer. though, like Facebook's lawyers will. just shred that and be like, oh, he was. watching that and this and that. They'll. get out of that. But I agree. It's like. I think didn't they just rule against.
Facebook now being like. >> Yeah. >> I think a thing came against them being. like, "Yo, you guys,". >> kind of like they did with cigarettes. where they're like, "Yeah, dude. This. shit's bad. You knew it was bad. You. gave it to people. Now you got a fork.". >> Here you go. Right here. A jury has. ordered Meta and Google to pay $3. million to a 20-year-old woman who. alleged that she became addicted to. Instagram and YouTube as a child. damn. All right, everyone else get on. that train. >> Jurors found the company's liable for. product design features that harmed her. mental health. The plaintiff, Kaye GM, testified that the apps replaced her.
hobbies and contributed to anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphia. Yeah, >> bro. That they have about two billion. lawsuits coming about the same. Like. that's. >> it says it right here. The case is the. first of thousands targeting big tech. over addiction to reach trial of. bellweather to assess how other claims. could be resolved. >> Well, this is apparently from what I. heard like long ago is a lot of these. social media companies had people who. design slot machines consult with them. to like how to make their basically. interface as addictive as possible. You.
know when you like pull down a refresh. and like your phone kind of like shakes. a little bit, there's that little noise. That's like slot machine technology. somehow. Like it's designed to like you. get a little dopamine burst when it goes. like bump and you're like oh yeah new. stuff and it's like apparently it's set. up like that where it's like it's. purposely designed to be maximally. addictive and they did that on purpose. >> Yeah. That's and it's like that's the. thing. It's like cigarettes. They're. like ah this is bad for you. You know. now they're going to have to pay out. They already have billions and billions. of dollars. They're have to just fork. some of the billions.
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's worth it to them. >> Yeah. >> To continue to do it. But dude, remember. the old school dopamine burst? You'd see. a bald eagle fly by. >> That's That was the dopamine burst. Yeah, I remember those days. >> Or even if it wasn't and somebody just. said it was. >> True. Yeah. >> You couldn't see when [laughter]. you're a kid, you're just staring up. into the sky just pointing. >> Well, dude, I I do remember being. younger before the internet and just. like like it's like summer and I would. just be like sitting outside and just. like I would just be able to kind of. like stare off for a while and just like. be like this is nice and I it's like I.
have a I can't even like take a now. if I don't have my phone. I'm like I. need to I need to be scrolling. >> Yeah. When was the last time that we've. daydreamed? You know, >> I know it's tough. You You really do. I. have to like on a plane, I can try to. like force myself. But then the whole. time I'm like, I can't believe I'm out. of my phone. I'm so cool right now. I. don't even daydream. I just like pat. myself on the back for not looking at my. phone. >> Yeah. >> And then I go, you know what? I'm going. to look at my phone. Everyone's looking. at their phone. Dude, or if you go to a. It used to be, this is the craziest. thing to [clears throat] think that. someone could be in a restaurant.
by themselves. >> Mhm. >> Like 40 years ago, you could do that. You could be in a restaurant by yourself. >> sitting at a table and you wouldn't look. insane. [laughter]. >> That's true. >> Now without a phone like for now if you. see someone in a restaurant by. themselves just sitting there [laughter]. waiting for some people who are probably. doing coke to bring them their food. Dude, [laughter]. there's no. Dude, I I do this. when I go out when I like I'm in a.
different city. I'll go out to dinner by. myself and I'll pride myself and I'll. sit there and just like waiting for some. congratulations. It never comes. I just. stare straight like you literally don't. know what to do with yourself cuz it is. that problem. You're like I can't stare. straight ahead. I'll try to look like. kind of almost like I'm dreamily like. Yeah. And it's just nothing there. Or. I'll rearrange the silverware again. Do. that [laughter]. Play the shell game with like uh fork. knife napkin. Fork knife napkin. >> Go to the bathroom really slow. Oh, look.
at that. >> Chick-fil-A is offering free ice cream. to families who agree to put their. phones away during their meal, >> bro. >> As part of an effort to encourage more. facetoface. time and less screen use of the table. What are the exact rules with that? >> Who's enforcing? And dude, imagine if. you cost your family the Chick-fil-A. family meal just from one glance. >> That's tough. That would I You would get. in serious trouble. >> You glanced on your phone just to see. the Bears didn't get it done again. [laughter] You cough. >> Just a guy blows a whistle at.
you. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> they should have a dude. Chuck Filet is. his name. He's just a black Just a black. dude in there. He's a straight chicken. cop in there. [laughter]. >> That'd be a good job. He's like, "Boom. Got you.". >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Fork $38. Let's go. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Chuck- Fillet. >> Chuck strikes again, dude. >> Yeah. That's uh man. That's That's. nice. Chick-fil-A. It's You know, >> I like that. I do, too. I like that. If. they're not on their phone, it Let me.
see. The promotion is only offered at. select Chick-fil-A locations by. individual operators, not a companywide. program. >> 2016. >> It originated in 2016 from a Georgia. operator and has been revived locally at. various times. I like that though. >> I do too. >> Yeah, dude. There was just like or just. driving and thinking about. >> Yeah, I know, >> dude. Your mind had so much time to like. we I think that's one reason we're more. creative because our mind was able to. just create. It was able to like. the RAM wasn't always you know your.
computer send you that thing it's like. your RAM is almost done. You don't even. know what your RAM is. You're like. I better empty the RAM trap. Clean this. out. I need to defragment. I still don't. know what that is. >> Yeah. No, dude. It's that's really it's. like you know cuz you have sleep. Your. brain gets to rest. that like downtime. your brain does do stuff like it like. kind of organizes things when you just. kind of chill out cuz that's I like when. you so when you're on your phone you. know when you read something on your. phone you're like you don't remember any. of it cuz as you're reading you're when. you're on your phone every button and.
thing you're moving is like it's a. problem solving part of your brain. So. like you're you're trying to like you. know you want your memory to be active. cuz you're like, you know, reading like. information's coming. You have so much. coming at you. Like you're the part of. your memory that can store information. along to the short term. It's like a. tiny little bucket in your brain. So it. only fits so much when you're like. hitting buttons and going up and down. this and that. It just gets just it's. like splashing a ton of water in a tiny. bucket. Just everything spills out. So I. never remember anything. I research. stuff on my phone all the time. >> and then I go like that'll be like like.
how many carbs do you need to be in. keto? I'll read a whole article on it. and like a day later I'll be like going. to tell someone about it and I'm like I. don't know you need like only a little. [laughter]. I can never retain anything. >> Well dude if somebody wants to tell me. something these days I'm like dude I can. look at information and we all have it. now. >> I know. >> like somebody used to have the. information like you had to go down the. street you had to get molested by a guy. Okay. the price you paid. >> just to figure out how to like uh you.
know grow bugan villas in your backyard. You know what I'm saying? >> Yeah. No, it's it's true. Now I can just. take a picture of a plant. It's like. this is the plant you're growing. I do. it all the time and it'll be like is. this good? When can I harvest this? Blah. blah blah. >> Yeah. It's actually I do kind of like. that. But you'll just take a picture and. you'll do what? Put it in a like. perplexity or something. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like grock and be like yo. how when can I pull this garlic? But. it's it's not surefire. It'll be like. have you eaten today? could have. just showed you some. >> go check this out. [laughter]. >> It's not the same thing.
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toes west. I I personally am not worried about AI. Like people like it's going to end the. world. It's going to it's like I don't I. don't worry. I don't think it is. honestly. And if it the thing is like if. it does, >> what are you really going to do? all. these lot of these people are doing this. like I'm just not using it cuz it's like. I just feel like it's such a weird it's. like it's a computer like it's not you. can you can destroy a computer easily. They keep saying wait but it'll like. self build itself so you can it's like. dude that's you're just it's just nerds. freaking out. It's not I don't think.
it's a real threat whatsoever. >> You know I started to think it's. definitely could be like the uh Y2K. thing. Remember that? >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. everybody was like forcing their like. >> cousins to admit they were fat or. whatever because [laughter]. >> God wasn't going to want them after. midnight or any like all that you. know, or it was like don't say you're a. before midnight or whatever, you. know, because. >> or God won't let you in or whatever. There was like all that kind of like. [laughter] those email chains or send. this to 10 people that aren't You. get those type of email chain like what.
is this dude? But yeah, uh cuz. they were trying to catch whatever. I think Bush Senior was doing that. But. um anyway, that was crazy, bro. Everybody thought Y2K was going to end. it. And then people thought the.com. boom, people bought like remember a guy. bought like shoes.com and he for like. and then he sold it for like $270. million. >> and we were all buying different dots. You know, people were making up. crazy.com names, you know. >> I tried I tried to get a couple. Did. you? >> Yeah. I didn't get anything good, honestly. I don't I don't remember. I.
think I sold them off right away or just. They're probably just dead. They expire, too, if you don't keep refreshing them. Yeah, I didn't anything good. >> I watched a soft white underbelly. This. has been cracking me up for like a. month. There was a guy who it was. similar to that lawsuit. He was going on. being like like I had too much internet. at a young age and it like it had a bad. effect on me. And uh he was like going. out and compulsively doing like gay. acts, but he was like I'm not gay. I. just got like you know it was the. internet. The thing that got him into it. was gay.com, which just made me laugh so. hard just as a young kid just hitting.
gay.com. Your whole life just over [laughter]. everything changes from gay.com. >> Hey, bud. >> Getting caught in fifth grade on. gay.com. I would have been done, dude. Old two older brothers catching gay.com. [laughter] I would have fried, dude. >> Oh, that would have been crazy, huh? >> Going up to your room. You going to get. on gay.com. [laughter]. >> Gay. That's a billion dollar hash or not. hashtag hyperlink. Whatever people got. >> gay.com. >> gay.com so good. >> that's still worth money. >> I for sure.
>> gay.com to send it to your buddy. >> dude hilarious change you can change the. hyperlink you can do there's a way you. can do that oh man. >> dude uh buffhomos.com was one of my. favorite ones [laughter]. Ari man's comedian and he started a. website called buffhomos.com. >> did he really. >> yeah see if it's still active or not I. bet he pays uh. >> buffhomos.com is great what's he doing. with. He didn't want to. Oh, it just go Oh, just goes to his. website. Um, [laughter].
which I think he should change that. But. maybe not actually. All he'd have to do. is if he put like one good buff gay guy. Well, he was doing it and his. management. >> told him not to do it. >> He couldn't curate buff homos. >> Yeah. They're like, you know, it's just. kind of like that's why nobody should. have a manager. >> Yeah. That's a billion dollar idea. >> Yeah. That's crazy. If you if you're not. a [laughter]. >> So his managers had to sit him down and. be like aboutbuffos.com.
>> Yeah. >> But but then but then they told him make. that his landing page basically. >> Yeah. A nonbuff homo on there. [laughter]. >> And I love Ari open for me a bunch over. the years. He's a great man. He's a. great comedian and he's a great dude. >> Clearly business genius, too. Buffomos.com is so good, >> bro. and he would send me the pictures. of Buff Homos and stuff and it was like. and it was like he would get his friends. that owed him favors. He would give him. stage time if they modeled for it. So. that was the best part. So you had like. guys like Steve uh Steve Fury just.
different comedians who were like kind. of door guys at the store but were also. growing good comedians um like Craig. Kette and he would have them uh just. modeling like just regular. dudes. But when you put them under the. banner of Buff Homos it's crazy. You put. a banner over something, you see a. picture of a regular dude with a shirt. off, you're like, "Okay, maybe that guy. is trying to get in the military or. whatever." And they write buff homos. above it. You're like, "Oh, this changes. everything." [laughter]. I mean, okay, so his manager was. probably worried about the fallout of. being like, "Is it true that you tricked. Young Comics into stage time for.
modeling for Buffalo?". [laughter]. First of all, I think some of them knew. what was going on. >> True for sure. >> They're all buddies, but uh. >> but yeah, that's a good lose. That's a. good lose a bet kind of thing. Like you. lose the bet. Playing poker for like. buff homos of the week. >> I had a website called totalcreeper.com. for a while. >> Did you really? >> Yeah. This was a long time ago and I. would just find total creepers. and just take pictures every day and put. them on that dude. Dude, >> I those early websites on the internet.
There was mullet.com that was great. >> Yeah, >> mullet.com was good. Uh there was. cameltoe.org. People just snap cameltoe shots in like. the grocery store. That one was that. Yeah, that one was a little that's a. little bit of an invasion of privacy. obviously, but I remember as a young man. being pumped on camera. >> Yeah. What was a good one? Oh, there was. like that. Uh, >> is there a way to look at Total? Is. there a way to find that in the like. analoges of anything, guys? >> Yeah, web archive might have it. >> No, no, this wasn't my That's.
>> Tumblr. That's a UK female. >> Yeah, that's Tumblr. Do you remember. Tumblr? That was weird. >> Tumblr was crazy, dude. I never got into. it personally, but I I knew a girl who. like was her big thing was curating a a. Tumblr of just like lightly pornographic. content. It was just [clears throat]. like a sex tumbler. It was crazy. >> Oh, dude. There was like one like girls. in panties getting out of cars or. whatever. And [laughter] dude. Something about it, dude. But in. panties, not like thong, not trashy. you know.
>> No, dude. We We're rare that we can. still We're JPEG heads. We're one of the. last to have beaten it to like a a still. image. >> Oh, >> you know what I mean? Like not a lot of. people can say that. >> Yeah, >> dude. I remember the like Cole I. used to come home from church on Sundays. and grab the the newspaper, pop out the. Kohl's catalog. >> straight to the underwear section, lock. the door in the bathroom. >> God, >> 45 minutes session. >> Dude, I used to rub some of the like I. would rub like a thing. This is. crazy. I should never say this out loud.
[laughter] because I'll never have a. wife after this. I would rub like a. picture of like if they had a model, like a underwear model, I'd rub it under. my arms cuz sometimes it would kind of. smell like a little bit like that. [snorts and laughter]. >> Jerk off too. >> You would stank it up. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'll just kind of stank it. up. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't think my mom got it. My. mom That's actually really good. I think. my mom. >> a good idea. >> to stank it up. Yeah. >> Yeah. I never even thought about that. >> Thanks, [clears throat] man. I'm ashamed. of it. >> The stank I think that's actually pretty. cool. Now, the problem is you're.
crossing wires cuz you're going to catch. like you're going to be out working out. one day, catch some of your own funk and. be like, "God damn, I better [laughter]. I better come under there. >> Start eating out your armpit.". >> Oh, [laughter] that's insane, dude. >> That's the line. >> No worries. I had a buddy that did that. though. We catch him doing it at night. sleepovers. Really? >> Cuz he had like hair under his arm and. he would kind of get his get it get his. tongue around the corner of his bice of. his uh pectoral. Ah, that's. weird.
>> And get him a little nibble. >> Just. >> get you a little nibble, Danny. >> Pretty impressive. >> You nibbling your arm, [laughter]. >> huh, Ricky? Okay, this was Yeah. Are. there any still on here? >> Total creeper. Sick. >> But yeah, people were supporting. People. were sending this in. This was good. >> Sending the creepers in is awesome. >> My great aunt died and there are two. zombie jokers showed up to the burial. and said they were friends of hers, but. no one knew these two. What you think? But. >> that's total creepers. That's a really. good one. It was good, dude.
>> Damn. 2011. >> Lampman. >> This guy and I were at the same full. service car wash. He was yelling into. his phone about a mortgage. What do you. think? [laughter]. >> Yeah. I miss the imagination, bro. >> Yeah. >> I miss like seeing a girl smile at you. like on a Friday at school. >> Mhm. or give you some sign of like maybe. she even just like asked you to go throw. some trash away for her or something. >> That would have been awesome. I would. have loved to do that. >> Totally. And then you're thinking all.
weekend like she's thinking about. me. Y. >> I'm going to start working out. You. start making like like I we would like. chisel like weights out of like wood and. and try to like. >> get pumps. >> Yeah. [laughter] And we didn't know that. it had to weigh a real amount. We were. like, "Oh, it just has to look like. weights." And uh just dumb But. then Monday you'd be like, "Ah, she. hates me again." But there was. just that couple day period where there. was no phone to see that she was having. a blast or that she was like her family. was rich or whatever, had a boat or. whatever.
>> You just laid at home in your. poor bed. Yep. >> Thinking just imagine her. Yeah. It was. actually I I genuinely I know people say. this all the time, but I I do feel bad. for like younger kids. Have you gotten. into like the clvicular stuff? >> I seem maxing and all that stuff. So he. did an interview with uh Andrew Callahan. recently I watched and I' I've watched a. lot of his stuff but there's like this. world of guys that are like you know. looks maxing is like you the your only. hope in life is to become as attractive. as possible but now they're doing these.
things where like injecting a bunch of. peptides. These are like young like you. know early 20s go on TRT you're hitting. the peptides and you know the thing that. gets like sensationalized is like you. kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer. cuz like it's called like bone hammering. or whatever. you like kind of do micro. [snorts]. dude that's crazy. >> and he I watched an interview he said. like oh man like that's really nothing. but that's all like what yeah bone. smashing. >> is a dangerous non-scientific social. media trend primarily popular on TikTok. and within looks maxing subcultures that. involves intentionally inflicting blunt.
force trauma on facial bones to alter. their structure proponents falsely claim. that repeatedly breaking or bruising. bones with hammers bottles or hard. objects will cause them to heal in a. more chiseled or masculine shape if. that's the case everybody in Stockton. would be Beautiful. >> Yeah, [laughter] true. Yeah, true. Everyone's been hit in the face. Everybody has been hit by. bottles and. >> Yeah. Well, the thing is is like, you. know, a lot of it's just internet stuff, but there is the underlying philosophy. where it's like, you know, the die has. been cast for you and if you're not.
like, you know, super attractive or like. as a, you know, it's like guys are kind. of becoming girls now where it's like I. just got to be prettier and it's like. there's a it's called the bone structure. hierarchy where like the way your bone. structure is that kind of determines. your whole fate as a person and if you. don't ascend you'll become this like. it's just like sad and very bleak and. like this like Uh, I don't know this. like really nihilistic thing where it's. just like, dude, you can just be a dude. You don't have to be like, I need to. ascend. I need to ascend so I can mog. and blah blah blah. It's just I feel. bad. I mean, I think a lot of kids at.
least joke about it. But I was watching. that interview and I'm like, man, this. is like a really sad way to live just. being like my my or my subord is not. maximal and all. It's like, dude, you're. a guy. Who cares? Just. >> And what is mogging? That's the part. >> Yeah. >> Moging is like, so you can be you can be. height mogged. You can be frame mogged. if if you're like someone's bigger than. you and you stand. If they take a. picture with you and they're looking. bigger, you've been mogged. >> Okay? >> If they're taller than you, you've been. height mogged. You know, there's and. there's like you can go any dimension of. like whatever you have.
>> So somebody could be mogging. you. Somebody could be. >> That's the worst mog if you get cockmog, dude. That's [laughter] tough. I'd be hitting mine with a hammer. >> Look at the jawbones on this. little [laughter]. Like damn, that thing's small. You're. like, yeah, but look at that. smile on it. [laughter] which is brutal. cuz I know girls do that. They take. pictures together and there's a lot of. like very hyper uh specific comparison. where they're like look at my knees and. her it's like this is now like younger. guys I think are starting to do that to. some degree becoming very aware and.
conscious of like he's taller than me in. that photo. It's like you're fine. It's. I don't know that that kind of freaks me. out. We don't we can't have both people. doing that. There's no there's no. there's not a he got frame mogged. That. was he took a picture that's clvicular. and okay. >> he got frame mo because the guy stood. next to him was bigger and it was just. that's like now you descend. You were. ascending and now he descended a little. bit. >> Damn. >> It's and does Clvic Vicular I mean that. guy also looks like he looks like a.
GNC store. [laughter]. >> So the other guys So that's the ASU frat. guy. The guy in the black is Kvicular. >> Yes. >> Yeah. So that guy Yeah. That's That's. just It looks It looks unnatural, I. guess, is what I'm trying to say. >> Yeah, dude. Well, that first of all, the. guy on the right looks. [laughter] insane, dude. He honestly. looks like a good like kind of a. trill lesbian. [laughter] No cap, bro. >> No cap, dog. BLM dog. You know what I'm. saying? You're wearing a like. bra shirt or whatever. What are you.
doing? And also, you know who. started all that was L uh Lamalo Ball, dude. Was whatever. [laughter]. Uh that dude wearing that bra or. whatever. Remember when he was shooting. that fade away or whatever? >> No. No. Was he wearing a bra? >> Yeah. Him and uh SGA were like just. gooning around after. >> Oh, I think that I think I [laughter]. >> Well, this is the was that? >> I don't know. That was. >> When I was growing up, mix dudes wasn't. Mix dudes had enough.
>> That's what you're talking about. What. the is that about? >> No, that's not it. That's crazy. >> Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? That's crazy. >> That's wild. You don't When do you need. just that much of a shirt? >> Yeah, just take it. Yeah, you don't need. it at all. >> Yeah, like you hit a gross spurt or. whatever, [laughter] dude. >> Well, dude, the sad thing about like the. You see that guy? That's like a very. bizarre frame. Um, with all like the. peptides and like filters and all this. stuff, that's what's garnering all the. attention. Like especially for women, like your lips have to look all people. are becoming literally artificial.
beings. And there it's like, dude, it's. it sounds like a really complicated. thing. It's just I think about this all. the time. There's this thing called. supernormal stimuli which is like so you. know it's it's it's not as like crazy as. it sounds. So like say they did these. studies where they had these butterflies. and like the male butterflies that they. saw a a female that was a shade of. purple. The more purple the butterfly. was that was the more attractive they. were and the butterflies would go mate. with those butterflies. The scientists. made a shade of purple that wasn't able. to be produced by the natural. butterflies that was like such a deep.
purple. The butterflies would just lay. on this piece piece of cloth and just. die. And I I feel like that is happening. to people in some regard where people. are like especially women are making. themselves into these like artificial. things and now guys are matching and. it's just I don't know it freaks me out. >> It's like they're chasing an aesthetic. that's not natural and it's not. attainable and they're using all these. like scientific methods. A lot of women, if women have those lip injections, dude, I'm out there. Yep. If women put. on too much lip, like if it's a little. bit I can get right, but if it's just.
dumb, dude. Like your lips look. like they've been like like they've been. eaten or whatever. >> Yeah, dude. No, I'm tell that. And. there's there's also a fine line of. plastic surgery where it almost all ends. in the same exact look. There's like a. fully constructed face that you're like, "Oh, it's just like plastic surgery. face." I just feel bad cuz, you know, you're obviously insecure. Everybody is. And then you do all this work and you're. like, "Oh, my nose looks better. This. looks better." And then it's like, and I. have this like look that it look I look. like I'm a clone or something. >> Yeah, dude. Some It's just too much.
>> Yeah. >> And then also if a girl puts on so much. lip gloss, bro, >> I'm like it just like it's almost like. you're saying it's like. >> it's too it's like too much of the. purple color. It's like. >> it's too juicy. >> Yes. >> No one's lips are this juicy. Like feel. And it's I just feel bad cuz Oh, that's. I've seen this for sure. >> That one is [laughter] Look what he's. wearing. >> That's a rough look, dude. >> He's wearing a jersey bra. >> He's wearing a jersey bra. Look at this. >> Yeah, that's. >> I mean, what is going on?
>> I don't know. [laughter] I don't know. Having a good time. >> Yeah, that's a good point, man. >> No, but that's Yeah, I saw that. That's. you know, that's one of those videos. you're like, dang, did I really look. like that during that? Still smiling. That was like a. >> No, and the guy's a boss, dude, too. And. honestly, if he's one of if if any of. these guys ended up being gay fellas or. whatever. >> Yeah. and being one of the best to ever. do it. Good for them. >> Exactly. Gives a. >> Gay Jordan. >> Gay Jordan would be nice. Just that. light that slightly lighter lift off the. That would actually be kind of sick to. watch.
>> Fly floating. >> Just floating through the air. >> I just I feel bad for like, you know, cuz you have they they get like prayed. upon cuz you're on social media and it's. just nothing but before and afters. before and afters, before and afters, and you just go after that and you get. like you can get like permanently. disfigured and it's just, you know, it's. just. >> Yeah, >> it's e I don't know. Something strikes. me as like evil to do that. >> Well, there's a lot of stuff now too. where it's like, you know, the peptide. like all that stuff. A lot of it there's. not a ton of research done on it. We. just started hearing about it.
>> Yeah. >> And everybody started using it. >> I know. >> And there was Dude, I remember I was. with a girl one night in her car and I. was trying to make out or something. I. don't remember. But we were sitting in. there talking and she's like, "Yeah, I. got to leave in like two hours to go. down to Tijana to get some uh ompic. It's just cheaper down there.". >> Really? >> Yeah. Dude, they busted a woman outside. of a vineyard vine selling illegal omp. >> Oh, bro. They Yeah, that's cuz you you. start going to the doctor and then they, you know, they all start talking to each. other and they get one of them gets it. off the internet. Yeah. There's Dude, so.
many of them are doing it taking the jab. and it is kind because you do get it. Like you can go to a doctor, but it's. like it's kind of expensive and all it. takes is one of them being like, I got. this website. I'll get it. I'll inject. you. And then it's like, does this. person know what they're doing? Where. did they really get that? What is this. stuff? [clears throat] And it's I'm I'm. so freaked out about putting anything. into my body. I I like can't do it. I'll. take like a new vitamin and I'm like, I. feel kind of weird today. I That's me. I'm being a But it's like I. really am like. >> But that's Irishness, I think, as well. >> I think so. >> You guys operate best on beer and stuff.
like that. >> I think so. Basic whiskey beer. >> Complete basics. Yeah. Adding to I've I. took the one. It was like a pill form. that you just take it for your stomach. And I think it helped. I didn't really. notice much, but the needles, man, I'm. like I get just too scared. I have one. in my fridge. I can't do it. >> I'm like I I'm like, "Yeah, I'm going to. do it's supposed to help you like sleep. and burn fat." And I like look at it. I. go, "No, I'm not doing that. Just sits. there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't. do it. [laughter] I won't do it." Yeah, dude. Yeah. Save that in case. things get crazy. Shoot it in one of.
your plants. True, [laughter]. >> dude. If you started peptiding your. plants, dude, next thing you. know you have like 11 blackberries in. your yard, dude. That would be nice. But. yeah, we can each have my whole family. can each have like three a piece. That'd. be awesome. >> How good are radishes, though? You. mentioned radishes. >> Radishes, man, they're they grow so easy. and they're like they're good. They can. get a little spicy here and there, but. like those ones are they were rewarding. cuz like that this is the thing too. Like I tried growing carrots, dude. The. carrot greens this big. I pulled the. carrot out. I'm not lying. It was this.
big. So that that kind of hurts. You wait three months. Then you just got. to take it out and throw it on the. ground. Just let it kind of decompose. Radishes just rip, man. You can grow. radishes anywhere. Those bulb those. under those like uh potatoes, radish, I. think. Those things pretty easy. Yeah, those tubers or whatever they're called, >> I think. Yeah, potatoes are tuber. Radish. I don't know what the hell. Like. root vegetables, I guess. >> Yeah, root vegetables. >> They grow pretty good, man. I. >> My grandma used to have them all in her. cellar at the back in the in the day. They'd have a lot of like senior. citizens would have them in their. cellers and stuff like that. Keep a lot. of root vegetables in there.
>> Um I love radishes though. They're kind. of they've kind of disappeared for a. while. >> You would see them kind of like shaved. up like they'd been literally. like somebody had terrorized them and. put them on like little salads kind of. like shredded radish. Yeah. It's kind of. weird. I feel like Mexican food brought. them back into my life. >> Oo. >> Cuz I would see them on the tacos and I. at first I'd be like, "What the am. I eating?" And then I started eating. them. I'm like, "Damn, these things are. pretty good actually.". >> You get a spicy radish though, bro. Put a little bit of salt on it. >> Yeah, man. >> They're good.
>> They're good. And there's something I. mean. >> just pulling it out of the ground, washing off and eating it. It's just. there's something awesome about that. >> You ever pull one right out and just. wash it right there and eat it in the. yard? >> Uh I I'd have to wash it first. So I. usually bring it inside, but I'd like to. I feel like those you got I've like. picked them off. I picked like berries. off a bush and eaten them. But the. radish I've never pulled them out of the. dirt and eat them now. >> Do that. >> I should actually. I I have left a. little bit of dirt on before when. washing it and I'm like it's got to be. minerals and in here. I don't. believe eating don't believe all the. eating the dirt propaganda, dude. You. can eat dirt for sure. I wouldn't have a.
ton. I mean, it depends on what area. >> Just a dust. True. Yeah, true, true, true. My soil is pretty good. That's the. thing, too. You gota like work, you gota. like, you know, you got to build like a. whole little colony in your soil, you. know, cuz if you just dump soil out of a. bag, it's not it's not living. >> How many square feet is your garden? >> Oh, man. Not a lot. It's probably like. 40 total, if if that. And then I have a. little thing outside my fence that gets. like full sun all day. That's probably. another like I probably have like 50 60. square feet total. Small. Do you have to. water in the morning and evening or how.
does it work? >> I do in the summer. Yeah. But I. >> You water pale or use the hose? >> I have the hose and I have I have like. some sprinklers now. I got to hook them. up. But the uh I just kind of water them. though twice a day depending depending. on how hot it is. If it's like super. hot, that's twice a day. You put some. mulch down to keep the roots keep the. roots from getting scorched. So it's. just it's nice, man. Especially like. >> Yeah. >> When you just see a new little bud pop. off your plant, it's just such a I come. out in the morning and I'm like, "Oo, it's just a nice little treat." Feels. good. >> Yeah. And you're kind of like an. orchestra conductor. Yeah, man. >> Nature. >> Yeah, it's it is it's pretty cool. And.
you got to be patient. You got to wait. And it's like like dude, I planted. garlic six months ago. I might have some. like in three weeks. And it's just like. it's just like a thing that's like good. that's grow. You know what I mean? That's like, you know, cuz otherwise. I've had a lot of times in life where I. just have nothing to look forward to and. you're just like whatever. [snorts] And. every day I'm like my berries. eventually. Two years. I have like. things that are going to take like two. years to grow and I'm like, man, two. years is going to be sick. like that. >> It's I'm telling you it's really good. for you.
>> I've been wondering if there was ever a. time when you were with your family and. your car broke down [snorts]. because I've been there and I remember. my the car was broke down and I stood. off. I walked off from that thing. I. said, "I ain't even being with y'all. anymore. Just just didn't even want to be by my. family. Dang it." Just out of shame. Car. Shield could have fixed that. Car Shield. offers month-to-month vehicle protection. plans designed to protect drivers from.
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more about Valor Recovery, please visit. them at www.valorreoverycoaching.com. valorreoverycoaching.com. or email them at admin. valorreoververycoaching.com. Thank you. >> Well, I you know what I recently I. started to get up earlier and do like uh. just really just start to take some. control over my own life more. >> Yeah. >> Like and it's just helped me so much,
man. It's helped me to like I don't. know, everything else just feels like. more possible. It's like, oh, I'm caring. about what I'm doing here, you know? Um, like it hasn't been like every day has. been perfect, but just like over the. past month, it's gotten like uh. >> let me see what I'm trying to say. Like, so I'll get up and I'll like uh do some. yoga, work out, uh meditate, um hit an. AA meeting or something, and then I'm. like it's like 10 a.m. and now I'm but. and the rest of my day is mine, right? I.
have work and to do, >> but I just feel like uh like the more. I'm investing in myself or things like. that, it's like it feels good, >> dude. It's Yeah, it's unbelievable. because otherwise it's like what is. moving your life and you don't you know, you're just kind of being blown about. I. I do that all the time where I'm just. kind of like. >> Yeah. You have to make your life mean. something. Exactly. I think when you're. a kid, you come out of this time where. you're like, "Oh, there's all these. things that I get to get put into and. there's somebody putting you in a shit.". You don't even realize it. Like you're. all this stuff happens and you're just. in, but you like we kind of lose that as.
we get older, you know? I mean, I know. work comes along and family comes along, but it's like, yeah, you have to I. always felt like, oh, life has to make. it. No, you have to make it. >> Yeah, dude. It's It's like 100% true. That's actually fair. I never thought. about that, too, because you do get. thrown into school and Yeah. you're just. like, "Well, I guess someone will throw. me into a job and then you just kind of. just like drift along and it's like I. I'll do that for like stretches of time. and then like I'll just something will. happen where I'm like the what the. am I do?" And it just is a really bad. feeling where I'm like what am I doing.
with myself and then Yeah. waking up and. being like I'm going to do this at this. time. I'm going to work out. I'm going. to do this. It dude it really does make. your life feel so much better. It's like. a even if you get up like a half an hour. early. >> Yeah. >> Just like just get up and like go for a. walk. >> Otherwise Yeah. That's that's a feeling. that I get like really free. Like. that'll really like bring me to a bad. place when I realize I'm just being. blown about. >> Yeah. >> By the whims of whatever forces are. around me. >> Especially as time goes on. Dude, I went. to your birthday party. That was fun, dude. >> That was fun. That was a. complete shock. >> 40. So, you had no idea.
>> No clue. Everyone's laughing at me. Like, you didn't even Google the thing. Like, my wife told me she was going to. take me to a an opera. And then she did. it. It was actually, to her credit, it. was a pretty good move. She's like, "We. don't we never do anything like that. We. never get dressed up." And I was like, "All right.". >> It was Boys in the Hood the Opera. [laughter]. I didn't know I didn't know what the. hell it was, man. I was like I I didn't. Everyone was laughing at me cuz like, didn't you Google the opera? Wasn't even. in town that weekend. I'm like, I didn't. look it up. I was just showing up, man. You know, and uh.
>> dude, 84% of life's just showing up. >> Yeah, man. That's And I I really can. just be like, what? Like I don't look. into things. I I I realized that night. I didn't realize how little I truly like. look into things and I'll just like just. be like, "All right, I'll just come. I. don't I don't like research it." I was. talking to a lot of people that are. like, "I'd have to look at the seat. chart. I have to know where I'm. sitting.". >> Yeah, that's whimsical, dude. That's. like an Irish hello or whatever. >> I [laughter] really do, dude. >> Not know what the is going on. No. idea what's going on there. And I just. showing up like, "Oh, this will be. cool." I was like, "Oh, I get to see an.
opera. I've never seen that before." And. just waited until it came. And then so. I'm like in my head, I'm like, "I'm. going to be in a dark room all night." I. was like, "I'm going to just eat a. little weed edible. I'll be fine. So, I'm literally She was like, "All the. tickets we got, we get to go meet the. opera singers like before and I'm like a. meet and greet with the opera singers.". So, I'm like, "Sounds weird, but I'm. like I'm down to meet them. This is kind. of cool. [laughter] I'm super gullible.". And then uh so I'm like kind of stoned. and I just like walk into this room. being like I remember the last thought I. had was like, I wonder what opera. singers are like. Walk in and I just saw.
my mother-in-law and I was like, what. the hell? Why is she here? And then I. saw someone I hadn't seen in like 3. years. And I I truly was like, "Oh, I'm. probably having a dream." And I was. like, "This is not real." And I kept. looking around and like the noises kind. of came back and I was like, "Surprised." And I was like, "What the. fuck?" And then I got like angry. I was. furious at first. >> Everybody telling me that, >> dude. I stood there and everyone was. like 150 people. I'm like kind of high. on it. I'm like, "This is I know. This. is completely overwhelming. Surprise.". And then like I'm looking around being.
like, "What the she made. everyone wear tuxedos and for this. And I'm just like furious. [laughter]. >> I forgot. >> Furious. Sorry. I just felt like, oh no. And uh and then I just kind of like I. like realized what was happening that I. was like frowning at 150 people and I. had to like oh thank you everybody. And. it took me like an hour and a half to. like the shock to wear off. I was I was. up. But you know eventually I was. like. >> what was the anger about you think kind. of cuz I know you tell me that and that. was fascinating. And your wife was.
great, dude. Like she started like five. months in advance. She's like, "Don't. forget Friday or whatever." And I'm. like, "This Friday?" She's like, "No, Friday in five and a half months." But. she would remind you every month. And I. was like, "Fuck." And then once I said, "I promise." I said, "I promise I'll be. there." I was like, "Fuck, I got to be. there." But it ended up being great. though. >> It was a great night, dude. I got to. hang out with Tony. There we are right. now. Adam Eaggan. Um Joe D. Rosa. And is. that your cousin? >> Zack. He works at the uh mothership. He. was at Yeah, he was at the mother ship.
for a while. >> Um, but yeah, dude, it was a it was a. good group though, >> dude. It was that was it was fun. I I. though I got there. >> was just like I don't even I couldn't. even place the anger at first. I was. just going like, "What the fuck?" And. and I was actually kind of looking. forward to sitting in a dark room all. night watching the I was like, "This. will be crazy." And then it was just. like what I was angry about was like I. don't really like a lot of attention. So. then I walked into just like a complete. and total just being like a wash in. attention and like surprise and it just. like it pissed me off.
>> Yeah. >> And then I was like, "Oh, this is like a. party. This is nice." I It was It. literally took my brain a second to be. like cuz at first it wasn't even a party. cuz you know what I mean? Like my brain. was like, "These are just people looking. at me. I'm like, "Why is this happening. to me right now?". >> And then I was like, it came in in. layers and I'm like, "Oh this is. my 40th surprise party.". >> Because we did something two weeks. before that. So I was like, "Nice, I'm. done. So like it like took me my brain. was like lagging for like seconds and. then you know I just like had to walk. around and be like hey thanks say thanks. thanks you know blah blah. >> thanks maxing.
>> thanks I was thanks maxing [laughter]. for sure postmaxing thanks maxing. >> dude it would be so funny cuz I would be. talking like a comedian and then there'd. be just somebody who was randomly. downstairs who was at the thing and it. was a nice event man it was like an. event. >> dude it really was it was. >> and there was like a thing with desserts. and there was I think they even had like. a duck or something they had great food. they had uh but Then there would be also. like just family members or somebody's. like I'm Matt's 11th cousin or whatever. you [laughter] know you know buy an. apartment you know just I'm like.
what is going [laughter]. >> I think one yeah one of my cousins I. know I heard the next day kind of called. you and was like let's get a photo right. now. >> oh I don't remember some things but it. was just like there was a lot of. different things and you would get like. yeah kind of Irishy looking guys and. this and that and then a you. know just somebody with Down syndrome. who they [laughter] said was Irish or. whatever and then even just down to a. big freckle in a wheelchair. there, you. know, it just like there was this. [laughter] dissension of. mccuscas that had just been through it. all. You know, some Civil War veteran. was there like there was ghosts there.
>> Yeah. People were taken back cuz that. was only a small faction of my family. So people that I knew would be like cuz. you would just see various mutations of. me where you'd be like that's got to be. one of his c people were like really. laughing about that all night being like. I can literally spot every single one of. your family members. You guys all look. exactly the same. Dude, that would be. the best if they had done a thing, find. Matt's family, >> like a Where's one? >> Yes. And you had to like just f like. amongst all the people there, you had to. get like a signature from those 10. people. >> That's kind of fun, actually. But no, it.
was uh it was cool, man. I I I had to, you know, I always I gave it up to. Britney. I was like, man, >> it was very sweet of her. >> Very nice. Very impressive. It was it. was just such a it was like I said, it. was like an event. It was like a massive. event and it's you know, I'm always kind. of like I don't want to do anything, you. know, blah blah blah. So that was it was. nice. I was like, I appreciated it, but. it was it was a lot for me to take in. >> Yeah, it's scary, dude. Having a. surprise experience is kind of scary, >> especially of that magnitude, man. That. was like that really like. >> threw me upside down cuz I'm going like, you know, I'm like I don't like asking.
people to do anything. You see people. wearing tuxes. I'm going, "Oh, fuck.". So, my family hates dressing up, so I'm. like, "Fuck, they made they made them do. that." And, you know, that was just like. But it was cool. It was awesome. >> And you can uh. um you can Can you still be drafted or. not? Oh, for the war. >> I think they just bump. Yeah, I think. the war is a unique term or the. military. [laughter] Yeah, >> the conflict. >> The uh Yeah, I think it's up to 42. So, if I'm What are the requirements? And.
they keep making the age bigger, dude. Dude. Yeah. >> 42, dude. There's a I got two. good years of me, >> bro. You could be a colonel. >> That'd be crazy. >> At le I would I mean, I went to college. At least I won sergeant. Like I'm not. I'm not going in there as a grunt. >> Yeah, >> but actually I'd kind of like to boss up. as a grunt. >> Got to be on time. What are some of the. uh army chants, dude? You have to do. some of those probably. >> Yeah, it's like I don't know what I've. been told. Yeah, 42 is not that old. >> Welcome [laughter] America. Army raises.
enlistment age to 42. Yeah, they're. pandering to me. Eases marijuana. [laughter] restrictions, dude. So you. could have. >> Dude, it's just going to be a bunch of. thick trans kids on gummies out. there. [laughter]. >> Here was one of the problems. >> Did you know that 70% of uh of young. Americans are unfit to serve in the. military? They couldn't serve in the. military. >> Yeah, I've heard that. >> 70%. >> Yeah, that's no surprise, man. That's. that's I mean that's sad. >> That blew my mind. >> Really? >> Yeah. When I was a kid, I feel like I.
like it felt like 70% could serve in the. military. >> Yeah. Yeah, for sure. >> You had some kids in wheelchairs or. something. You had like some black kids. that were still sucking their thumb or. something even though they were like 19. and. >> Still rocking. Yeah. >> Yeah. Which is cool, but they weren't. saying anything. But they weren't. So, you got to pick a path. But then you had like Yeah. One kid that. would get sunburned bad. He couldn't go. You had that beast stained kid or. whatever who was always a piece. of. >> I'm I'm down for them just doing like. battle bots. We're at the point now. where it is ridiculous to just be like,
"Yeah, we're going to just send a bunch. of 18-year-olds there and shoot each. other." It's like that's like it's just. like I've said this before. It's like. embarrassing. Like guys, for real, we're. still doing this. Let's do Battlebots. Solve it. See what's up. Whoever wins. gets, you know, whoever like pink slips. >> Yeah. Your buzz saw flips my wedge and. now you get to hold nukes and if I'll. build a better robot, I'll get the nukes. back so I can destroy the world if I. have to, you know, if I want to get my. way. >> Yeah, I agree. It's like what are to. really be using I don't know, dude. It's. just bizarre. >> But there's a trick where it's like, yeah, you know what? You're right. Then. some guy just blows up your city and.
you're like, I'm blowing them. up. that. So, it's like, you know, I don't think I think it's escapable. >> A major update to Army recruiting. regulations this week raises the maximum. age a recruit can join to 42 and removes. a barrier to joining for recruits with a. single legal conviction for marijuana or. drug paraphernalia possession. >> Nice. >> The Army's previous limit was 35, though. exceptions are occasionally made. The. higher age limit brings the Army in line. with other services limit of 41 in the. Navy and 42 in the Air Force. >> Oh, that's the weirdest of all. And. again, it's Whoa. What the is that? >> That's kind of I don't know. I.
thought that was Doug Stando for. a second [laughter]. on the left. >> Well, the uh Okay. >> Secret double life of Christy Gnome's. crossdressing husband, Brian. The. pouting busty bimbo photos and trove of. explicit messages. >> This guy, >> he could have that could have been a. costume he was doing. >> Yeah. I mean, >> let me see. Is today revealed as a. secret crossdresser who dons gigantic. fake breasts and pink hot pants to chat. with online fetish models. >> Oh, that's the porn hole going wrong,
man. Yeah, >> that's when you need you need to shut. the laptop once you're putting once. you're bimifying yourself for webcam. Is. that what happened? He was bimifying. >> Yeah, it looks like Well, his wife. operated at the highest echelons of. government handing handling matters of. national. >> security in a recent role as DHS. secretary by Brian know him 56 has been. dressing up and playing adult enter and. paying adult entertainers to talk dirty. The Daily Metals reviewed hundreds of. messages involving three women from the. bimification scene where porn performers. transfer themselves into real life. Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts.
of saline into their breath. >> Whoa. That's that was that's his that. was his boobs basically from saline. >> Yeah. So he pumped his was he pumping. his own tits full of that God. >> Okay. He had no he had balloons. Okay. Oh, Brian, an insurance mogul, could be. seen squeezing into a flesh colored crop. top topped with skin tight pink shorts. >> Hold on. So, those those tits were. balloons with the nipples. Oh, the knots. mimic the nipples. I mean, I'll get I'll. sh at least shout them out on the nipple. position. That was.
>> That's pretty smart. >> That was kind of nice. Dang, bro. >> What the dude? What the is. going on, >> bro? I That's nice for balloons. I'll. get Whoa. What the [laughter]. Oh, man. But he has that kind of glossy. skin where he's You know what. I'm saying? >> That's a horny guy. I'm going to go out. on a limb here and say that that's kind. of alpha to be that horny where you have. balloon boobs like a fifth grader. [laughter]. >> No, it sounds like what those. clvicular kids are going to be doing.
>> Putting hacky sacks in their. chest and. >> Yeah, [snorts] man. That is uh. >> he sent his secret roster of online. acquaintances at least $25,000 via cash. app and PayPal. But when the payments. were delayed or failed to materialize. the chats would quickly turn sour. >> Oh, I bet I would if I paid. $25,000. Look at my balloon tits and you. didn't uh you delayed on me. I turned. sour. >> Damn. >> Oh, dude. So, they they kind of like put. his stuff out there. >> Yeah. It's a sounding that somebody. whose spouse is at that level has that. kind of bad judgment.
>> Oh, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Bro, >> I didn't know this was a thing, dude. >> Yeah, I guess it is, dude. Honestly, bro, all this makes me want to cut. my own wiener off and [laughter] just. mail it to Africa, dude. I'm not even. joking, dude. I thought about that for. years. Cut my wiener off. >> and my nuts off. >> Yeah, >> if they want it or just whatever you. want, you can do it. Send them both. But. >> keep your nuts cuz that'll keep your tea. going and stuff. That way nuts. >> Keep your nuts. Let your nuts hang. >> Yeah. >> Chop off your unit and just keep.
everything. >> and mail it to Africa. Feed a feed a. person or two. [laughter]. >> That'd be nice. >> They grill that up in a second, dude. They'd munch that thing. >> They get some Tennessee wiener. in the mail. [laughter]. They would grill. >> Put mine on a toothpick and serve it at. a party with others. But yeah, [laughter]. I know, dude. They'd be like, "Glizzy, >> gizzy.". >> No, it's a gizzy. [laughter]. >> A fresh gizzy. >> That is sad, man. It's like Yeah, it's a. uh. >> way here the Uber driver, he's like, "We.
need a revolution. You podcast guy.". [laughter] He was but you getting pumped. up. >> Yeah. No, he's trying to get me to. do something. I'm like, dude, I'm trying to go I'm going to. work, dude. >> He's probably CIA, honestly. >> He could have been a hop. [laughter] He's probably misad, [gasps]. >> but it was just kind of crazy. He's. like, "We need a revolution, you know, cuz he's like, AI's going to come. It's. going to be all Whimos. We won't have a. job." You know? >> That's true, too. Yeah, that stuff's. coming, man. For sure. That's going to. be weird. I mean, it is going to be a. >> But you're not scared of it, though. You. said. >> No, not really. I mean, it's like.
I. Well, here's the thing. It's like I if I. felt like it was coming and it would. just like destroy my livelihood, I'd. obviously be afraid of that. I don't. think it is. And I feel bad if it does, but I I feel like maybe this is me just. being hopeful. It it will kind of. engender some like massive change where. people then have to like learn how to, you know, like do we start just sharing. stuff so everyone has what they need? Like what do you like literally what are. you doing that? And then you know people. go that's communistic. It's like, yeah,
obviously, but it's like if it wipes out. just like nine industries at once and. you have millions and millions of people. who could work that just there's no. point for them to do it. It's like, what. do you do? Like, what do you do then? And it's like, are they going to have to. just like invent weird like almost like. fake jobs? Are people going to get paid. just to kind of vibe out? I don't know. I'm personally kind of curious to see. where it goes because it's like you're. not going to fight the AI stuff. Everyone's like, "We're going to stop. it." It's like, "No, you're not. If it. if it saves big corporations money, they're it's coming. They're going to do. that. Then it becomes like what do you.
do? And I guess like you know yeah it. could get now that I think about it it's. like well yeah maybe the billionaires. will like give us some money. I'm like. well they said yeah ah You think. they will? >> Well that's what they've said is that. there that they people would get some. sort of a stipen or some sort of a UBI. universal basic income or some sort of a. token [snorts] that they could use for. things like for which is crazy to hear. like Alman said this sort of Um. >> this is a king then. So then we'd have. kings. Which again if we go back to some. like futuristic medieval like surfs, lords, kings, knights. Could be chill. I.
don't know. Again, I don't know. There's. probably people like, "Fuck you.". >> Could be chill though. >> Could be chill. Dude, you get to like. wander. I get to just be in my garden, light fires, and just kind of like think. about the glory of the king. >> Yeah. >> King Sam Altman. >> King Altman. [laughter]. >> Cuts my head off. >> And he cuts your RAM down. [laughter]. He cuts your hard drive down to. 30 megabytes a month. >> No more Yeah. No more questions about. your garden. I'm like, "Sorry, my lord.".
[laughter]. >> Dude, and then that that thing comes. through where you throw the dead people. just on it like if your neighbor dies. Remember back in the like and the. [laughter]. >> wheelbarrow, >> the dead cart or whatever. Yeah. >> I I think and this is my again, this is. just. He had my uh ear pods in. his pocket. We put them on the. dead cart. This is me being a. >> Hey, >> humanity check his pockets. A fat guy. [laughter]. >> You got to follow him on your device. Yeah. I I feel like, you know, every. society rises and then falls in a.
terrible cataclysm. That's like there. hasn't been one that's made it out of it. yet. So like maybe it's like with CO. there was CO was bad, but it also did. kind of shake people out of that like. dull thoughtless malaise that so many. people are trapped in just like a. meaningless existence they kind of hate. So, I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage. enough to where people can kind of come. out of it, but then we don't all just. like fall into like complete chaos and. start like killing each other. I think. there's a sweet spot. So, I'm I'm hoping. it kind of shakes it just a little bit, >> if that makes sense.
>> Yeah. >> So, that that's my hope, but it's like. Yeah. Then it's like, well, maybe the. billionaires will be generous. I'm like, >> well, to me it feels like they. >> they want us poisoned enough, right? It's obvious there's so much that has. poison water. >> Fluoride makes people dumb. Like if you. have in your water, you're dumber. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Which is crazy, dude. >> Um. >> but like they want us to be dumb enough. and like not have any balls or. want to do and so you just are kind of.
like in this sort of wheel. >> Yeah. >> And you're comfortable in the wheel. And. the amazing thing to me sometimes is how. comfortable a lot of us are in the. wheel, including myself. >> Oh yeah. >> You're like, you know what? I could go. out there and protest sometimes or I. could do this or you know, but. >> I could just sit here and watch March. Madness. >> Yeah. >> You know, just got some new Massa chips. I got some Good ranchers nuggets. in mail. >> Chips are nice, bro. I love those. things. >> They're nice. If you eat too many of. them, though. >> Yeah. It's a up belly ache. >> And And I don't eat them anymore. I ate.
like I had like six bags in a row or. whatever. >> I can't have them anymore. >> No, you eat the whole bag and you're. like I just ate a pound of beef tallow. >> Well, it's like having jin when you're a. kid or whatever. You can't have it. [laughter] anymore. you know, but it's. like that for me, it just kind of burnt. out. >> The thing that I'm hopeful about is that. like, you know, because if it becomes. like if money becomes a weird thing. where it's like there's UBI and like you. do have these like rich billionaire. overlords, like money is the thing. If. you have enough of it, it kind of like, you know, pumps up your ego to where. you're like, "Yeah, I did it. I'm the.
man." I've always wondered if we could. somehow trick like ultra rich like. billionaire types into being like no the. real flex is like putting like 9 million. people on like assistance and making. like a cool future peaceful village and. like getting them to think like yeah. that would be cool if I did that you. know what I mean like. >> yeah like why would that [clears throat]. >> you just have to make up their nerds. like so like Zuckerberg you'd be like. dude instead of like attacking them be. like dude actually Zuckerberg's super. jacked and super tough and cool at. jiu-jitsu and be like just like giving. the nerds everyone like yeah we love you. guys and maybe they'll just like, you.
know, use billions of dollars to. terraform the earth into like a cool. hobbit world or I don't know. Now, now. I'm just reaching. >> Well, you start to wonder, is it an evil. autism that's out there? >> Yeah. We [clears throat] need to give. them We need Yeah, exactly. I I think. you could be completely right because. that cuz Yeah. To think that you'd have. billions of dollars and other people. don't have anything is pretty crazy. >> Yeah. But that's that's the thing though. because it's like I think about that all. the time and it's like White House turns. down Elon Musk offer to pay TS agents. during DHS shutdown. Why? That that.
thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay. the TSA guy. This is I'm a single issue. voter and it's wait times at airports. currently, >> but it's like, dude, just take the TSA. out of that because they're trying to. both pass these like big deals where. it's like, well, we'll do the TSA, but. you have to agree to this, but they're. doing those omnibus bills. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's like, take TSA out of. it. You guys can go, okay, let's fund. TSA. Okay, back to arguing about. forever. It's I I that it's. just Dude, that pisses me off. >> Yeah. Musk, the CEO of Tesla and owner. of social media platform X uh said uh.
offered to pay the salaries on Saturday. I would like to offer to pay the. salaries of TSA personnel during this. funding impass that is negatively. affecting the lives of so many Americans. at airports throughout the country. He. wrote on X. President Trump said money. he would love it if Musk paid the agent. salaries. Uh I think it's great. Let him. do that. The offer for Musk was also. warmly received by lawmakers. Um but. then this is here's the problem is no. pay. >> right. Uh John Federman said the offer. was incredibly generous in his response. to the post. TSA agents across the. country relying on food pantries and. community donations just to get by. Uh. DHS officials told House lawmakers.
Wednesday that over 480 480 airport. screeners have quit since the beginning. of the shutdown and that the agency is. expected to lose $1 billion in missed. paychecks by the end of this week. Dude, uh, Timothy Melon, of Melon. Banking, shout out Pittsburgh, donated. $130 million to pay the military during. the 43-day long government shutdown from. October to November. But what's crazy is. is this could be a trap because then. you're letting kind of X or or uh Tesla.
become this privatized, you know, because now you're kind of privatizing. airport security. Yeah. Whether you. realize it a little bit or not, you're. saying, "Okay, we'll let him pay these. salaries." Then he comes in and says, "Well, how about this? Why don't I just. Why don't Tesla just manage airport. security? We could probably do it so. much more efficiently. Yeah. >> And so that's this like I'm not which. I'm not saying would be bad. I'm just. saying that's where things get kind of. risky. A lot of times like offers like. that there's this kind of caveat of of. hopeful business. >> Dude, I didn't know this until recently.
Public transportation in Chicago and. like I think the late 1800s there's all. public company or private companies. So. like you would just own like you know. whatever like if you're in New York it. was like but it's Chicago like the LRA. that was a guy who owned the LRA. everyone who paid tickets all the money. went to him and there was another guy. who owned like the north side public and. they all eventually the city came and. was like guys give me this that was like. that was like that for a while and it. was it was like incredibly competitive. and corrupt and you'd have to lobby the. government to like pass your thing and.
you pay people off then you just. collected all the fairs personally. didn't like didn't even go to the city. So yeah, it's uh that is a tricky thing. though because they can, you know, then. they can start doing their weird like. credit card. I mean, you don't get great. customer service with government. agencies anyway. >> No, dude. Have you been to the post. office? Post office is crazy, dude. I. was in there a couple days. There was. this there was like this sister that was. working in there. She's fighting. with a bird that's in there trying to. steal like a thing of tape or. whatever. And I'm like like in the. little gift section area. I'm like. there's nobody else in there, dude.
[laughter]. wind going by is just. unbelievable. >> There's an Asian dude. He peakedked up. out of the back for like a second. The. guy with the mustache and the. the catfish looking dude. [laughter] one of those package. catfishes. He's just back there. He. swims up to the door and peaks. around just to make sure he's not. nobody's looking for him and. goes back into the hiding behind. the 7day certified mail. You'll never. see him for. >> 40 more years. He's just to hide for 40. more duties. He's like [laughter] he's. like he saw his own shadows like 11 more.
months of being on the clock on. the government's dime. Post office is. crazy, dude. I used to I used to mail. all of our merch for like in the. beginning I would mail all of our merch. personally. So I started going to the. post office with just like boxes of like. 45 50 60 shirts already wrapped up and. like I got to know the people there. pretty well. But it was like at first I. would just show up before they knew me. they'd be like what are what are you. doing to us? So then they eventually. gave me another address where I could. just like drop it off at the like hub. and they would just take them like a big.
thing at once and just throw them in the. thing. But it was funny. Yeah. I used to. get I used to go there and they let me. like come towards the back and dump it. in. Yeah. It's kind of cool to see. behind the scenes. >> It was cool. But it was just it's very. it is like chill time. If there's a line. at the post office, people are like, "Okay." It's like DMV mentality. You're. like, "Yeah, whatever, man. >> Don't care." They don't feel lines. >> No, they really [laughter] they really. don't. >> They You only feel lines on one side of. the counter. The other side of the. counter, they don't feel that line. >> No. It's not a restaurant where you're. like, "Oh, People are going to. leave." You're just like, "Yeah, it. Go use something else.". [laughter]. >> Public transit in Chicago shifted it.
from private to public control in the. mid 20th century centered on the. creation of the Chicago Transit. Authority, the CTA in the 1940s. The. Illinois General Assembly passes the. Metropolitan Transit Authority Act 1945. Um, when the CTA took over the big. private rail and street car systems and. effectively complete completed for city. service 192 with the motor coach. purchase. Um, yeah. Anyway, >> yeah, >> that's when it happened. >> True. >> Um, I saw you've been doing some history. pods. >> Yeah, on my Patreon. I've been doing.
I've been getting deep into like the uh. concisador era like the Spaniards going. first to like Yucatan in Mexico to like, you know, when they like when Cortez. kind of took over the Aztecs. And then I. there's another guy who like navigated. the Amazon River like later on and they. like the Pizaros took out took out the. Incan Empire. those dude that's those. stories are like insane and that's I've. like I I've talked to uh I talked to the. author who wrote both the books I was. talking about and we're both agreeing. it's like dude that's a movie I talked.
to this other guy about this too where. it's like the fact that there's no movie. about that yet is insane because it is. like especially Cortez taking over uh. the Aztecs it's the craziest story cuz. everyone's like oh yeah he showed up and. like tricked Montazuma and it it like. they did do that but it was like it was. like a multi-year effort and they had. like brutal battles It it was it went on. like forever and they were like inside. tenn of which was like the city of the. Aztecs. Dude, that was like a brutal. siege. They barely escaped. Had to come. back and attack it again. It was. absolutely insane.
>> Were they bad people that they were. attacking or they were just people that. they wanted their land or it was just. like during that colonial times? >> It was it was a little bit of. everything. It was definitely during the. colonial times. The Spaniards definitely. just wanted gold. They were like, "Yeah, you guys have gold. We're taking the. shit.". >> Oh, yeah. >> Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it. some he was he was sent by another guy. Velasquez who was like take this. flotilla of ships because they they were. in I where was it like Cuba maybe or. somewhere and they were like he was like. I want you to scout this Mexico whatever. place and you know see if they have any.
gold or slaves and you know bring them. back to me. >> That's crazy dude. >> dude. So Cortez is like for sure he was. just took 13 ships and was like. that guy. I'm going on an expedition to. con to conquer. So he just it was like. completely illegal, you know? It was all. like up, but he just was like, "I'm doing my own thing." Like a like a. pirate, basically. >> Yeah. It's like when you borrow like. when your dad's like, "Hey, go fill my. car up with gas, but you take it to go. see your girl.". >> Yeah. Dude, for like the ultimate. version. It's It's like if he gave you. his fleet of like trucks and he were. like, "Yo, let's go. We're, you know,". and it was like he just rolled up there.
with three 300 400 guys and they just. battled and just battled and like made. alliance. That was the thing that helped. them. They made so many alliances with. different people that hated the Aztecs. And it was like, you know, everyone's. like the Spaniards, you know, they they. did some stuff that was obviously. horrible. But the problem was in like. the Aztec times, it was all kind of like. Yucatan Peninsula, southern Mexico up. into like central. And uh so you would. just be in a village and the Aztec. chiefs would be like, "Yo, it's time for. taxes." But their taxes were sacrifice. victims. So they would come down and be.
like, "Give us like 30 people." So you'd. be living together and they'd be like, "Yeah, we're going to chop you. up. Chop you up. Let's go." and like. they would just snag most of your babes. and you'd be like So then Cortez. comes and they were like yeah I'll help. you those guys up. So they all were. like kind of against each other and then. like [snorts] the the thing that really. kind of like it's up. It would. make me laugh. They would befriend the. natives there and the natives would be. like, "Oh, you guys seem cool. Want to. see something cool that we like?" And. they would take him to one of these like. religious temples and it would just be. like a dog with its head bashed in like. little kid's bones. They like, "Yeah, we.
chop that dog's head off." And. they'd be like, "What the What are. you guys doing? What's wrong with you. guys?" So there was like, you know, and. they say the Spaniards uh exaggerated a. lot of the sacrifice and but it was like. it was definitely on the books and like. so they got there and they were like. greedily looking for gold but then. they'd be like these guys are chopping. off kids' heads and kicking them down. the steps or like these guys. That's kind of how they were thinking. These guys need Jesus. We're going to. kill them and turn them into slaves and. give them Jesus and take their gold and. we're doing a good thing. So it was like. it was kind of up all around.
honest in my opinion. But like nobody. knew, you know what I mean? like they. didn't think it was bad. So, [clears throat]. do you think like it kind of goes to an. overall idea of like Yeah. Do you think. that like human existence is like a. trial to see of like good versus evil or. like like I wonder what it is, you know? And and then, you know, as things start. to get weirder and stuff, then you start. realizing, well, most countries always. live under like some severe oppression. with no hope of like a lot of freedoms.
>> and with not even the ability to express. themselves in some ways. Oh, dude. Yeah, for sure. Like, >> yeah. You start to realize that like I. don't know. It's just I don't know. I. just Yeah. You wonder like and then you. start to think, well, how does this end? Like, does this end well? But then if. that if if if you had groups at that. time, if you had Cortez traveling around. and realizing, okay, we believe these. are bad people. We need to bring them. into some sort of enlightenment of. understanding. >> Um, >> is that the right way? You know, it's. just I don't know. >> No, dude. It's it's really tricky. And.
the So, they were legally also they were. legally bound. So you'd roll into a. village and like you'd hope they're. peaceful otherwise you're just doing. battle. >> I think the first 10 minutes has got to. be a tough. >> very tough but luckily for them they'd. roll up dude they'd roll up in like on a. horse which first of all the Aztecs they. would see a there was the Mayans were. there as well but they would like. >> they would see a dude in metal on a. horse and think this was like some new. type of beast. They never saw Yeah. They. never saw someone riding a horse. So. they thought the man and the horse. became like one weird creature and they.
they were like what the They would. just come at you 30 m an hour with a. steel sword and just like it was. terrifying. And then like cannon fire. that like helped them out a lot. But. yeah, they just thought they were like. aliens. They didn't know what the. they were. They were like and then you. know they like killed a couple of the. Spaniards and they're like, "Oh, we can. kill these guys." And they, you know, munch them. >> So wow. >> Just munch them a little bit. But yeah, it was Dude, history's been brutal and. it is getting things do seem to be. getting better overall. Like that dude. that's like rolling into a village. You're like, I'm hungry. I want some. gold. you know, Cortez wouldn't.
he would be like nice enough, but then. as soon as people started with. him, he would like burn villages. down, burn people alive. It's like. brutal stuff. >> That's a Dude, that's a crazy mix of I'm. hungry. I want some gold. >> Yeah. Well, they would be starving. They. would be walking walking walking. Like, we don't have enough food. And. they you just see a village like we got. to go munch these guys. >> dude. And bro, you think there was hot. babes back then at that time? >> For sure. Oh, yeah. 100%. I mean, >> you think probably healthier babes. >> Healthy. I mean, yeah, true. I mean, but. here's the thing, though. It's like,
it's all relative cuz like, you know, you're like, these guys are all, by the. way, like 21, 22. So, you're a 22-y old. Spanish guy in 1600s or, you know, late. 1500s. Those guys probably like they're. on like legendary nofaps. All of them. They probably weren't like beating off. every day to Pornhub. That's a great. >> These guys are the chambers fully. cocked. >> Yeah. So yeah, they were probably like. and he they probably and you know there. was obviously a lot of brutal rape and. stuff going on, but like but yeah, Cortez famously uh in one of the battles.
they like the general handed him like. here's a bunch of women like blah blah. blah and the one of them happened to be. a former princess from like one of the. chieft or chieftdoms who then got sold. into sex slavery by like you know a. waring tribe who then got given to. Cortez so as like you know a sex slave. but she happened to be a princess. Melinee who like was like honestly one. of key figures who helped him translate. all the languages so that he could move. about like he I don't know if he could. have done it without her. It's pretty. crazy. Wow. They became they became uh. lovers, man. They were like.
>> they were thickest thieves. And Cortez. had a wife the whole time living in. Cuba. So when his wife after he finally. won, he finally wins over. He defeats. the Azic Empire, takes it over himself. >> That's crazy, >> dude. His wife comes over to visit him. cuz she's like, "All right, this. guy has been gone. I don't know where. the hell he is. He's been gone for two. years." Cortez has a a child with his. new babe who like been through it all. with him. >> Yeah. >> And his wife shows up, kind of gives him. an earful. Dude, he choked her to death. >> And he's [clears throat] just that was. just his babe. He was pretty.
brutal. >> Damn. >> That's pretty brutal man. >> Dude, that's a crazy love story. It. >> It's It's the bizarest love triangle. >> But dude, if your guy conquers a bunch. of like that, you got to chill the. first week or something, >> dude. You can't just be coming up. >> Yeah. You can't get out the car mouthing. off. [laughter] you know, he literally it was like a savage. conquest and it was like, you know, he's. there with all of his bros and like he. was also he had made these alliances. with these other uh like you know. indigenous factions who like when they. beat the Aztecs finally they all had a.
party the night of and they're like the. you know the Spaniards is like drinking. around. Dude, these like Aztec. dudes were like cutting off their enem. skin and like walking around in it and. like you're just all party. They had. like a brutal up like two-day. party that they all woke up from and. were like, "Let's say mass right now.". That was kind of wild. And then his wife. came to visit, mouththed off, and he. just killed her. >> Damn. >> Yeah, it's up. It's a up. story. >> It is. But it's kind of It's the story. that we keep living. It's just crazy. like.
>> that, you know, you don't know who's. supposed to be like. >> the righteous ones, who's supposed to. win, what the whole thing is, who's. doing things in the name of the right. purpose. You know, you're trying to go. off of some moral calculations that you. feel like you have, but then we're all. like immoral. We're all like broken. people. So, it's like [snorts] I don't. know, man. No. Well, that's that's the. thing, too. Like I said, I I try to. like, you know, keep like at least an. open mind to like, all right, well, even. with Iran, it's like say they do make a.
nuclear weapon and then they drop it on. whoever. It's like, yeah, maybe they. have to stop. I don't know. But it's. like, >> but they're dropping. They're not. they're not dropping them. >> or they're just going to use it to get. like a seat at the table. I think that's. what people do with nukes. You make them. and you're like, all right, can we. we get at the big boy table now? All right, get in here. So, yeah. I don't know. You know what I. mean? I have no idea. >> That's got to be crazy. Now, do you also. think though? >> Sweet feeling. Do you also think though. you can kind of see how like these. mega lords and tech lords and. like um. like.
they start to just sit around and. they're like they all got in the room. like dude we're the we own the. world right. >> they have there's no way they don't dude. you're 100% right. >> and they be like well we should. obviously make sure the world stays like. this that we own it let's keep everybody. dumb let's keep doing this. and let's keep bossing out and drinking. in uh kid dick or whatever until we we. live forever, [laughter]. you know? Like I just feel like there's. got to be that has to be like and then.
you because you start to wonder how. could people at a certain level get to. that but they must think well if I'm. this fortunate. >> this must God must want me to you know. what I'm saying like yeah. >> cuz if you have been so fortunate and. you do have a religious beliefs and your. ego gets involved I could see how you. could end up on that road. >> for sure. >> they God wants me to to do things this. way and then you start justifying. whatever you do. >> or or it's the opposite and you have no. religious convictions at all and you go. like this is it's just you know it's.
like the those people who look at the. world where it's like yeah strongest. person wins the whole point of life is. to be comfortable and like in a dominant. position and then like there's people. who have that that's like genuinely. their philosophy so like yeah I'll just. leverage uh technology to gain more and. more power to my advantage and it's like. that shit's scary especially when they. get into like the realistic possibility. of becoming biologically immortal and. you're like dude like I just want. to grow my radishes man just let me grow. [laughter] my radish It's It's. >> Yeah, >> it's It is It's freaked out, man. It is.
really freaked out. But it's also like. >> I don't think there's a lot of peace. though. If you if you're like running. some cyberronic. war surveillance apparatus, I. don't think those guys are chilling. I. don't think they feel good. >> I think some of them don't feel. >> Yeah, that's That's. >> So that's the scary part is they don't. have the thing. >> Yeah, I think you're actually right. about that. >> Like to them, it's all a game. When they die, they just short circuit. or you know what I'm saying? They don't. have like a lot of these people it feels. like don't have something. Um, >> no. Yeah, you could be right about that.
>> But yeah, man. I I agree. It's like get. back to what can you control, right? So, you make a garden. You go on a nice. walk. You spend some time with your. neighbors. You do things that feel good. while you're alive. You know, we didn't. create the world. We're just here in it. >> And uh yeah, I don't know. >> It's it's all cyclical, too, man. It's. like it'll it's going to rise and fall. and you know it's again it's the problem. is is like yeah hopefully this time this. isn't the time where like. >> everything pops off and we all just get.
wiped out in a hot flash. It's like that. is. >> that's scary but like what do you like. what you going to like run into the. White House and just get like shot in. the face by a secret security? It's just. like you have to just chill. It's like. nothing you can really do. Let me see. this. Steven Pinker argues that by most. measurable indicators violence, health, wealth, rights, and knowledge, humans. are doing better now than at any. previous time. Even though it feels like. things are getting worse. I don't. believe that guy. >> Well, I mean it's it's like yeah, there's probably less kind of crime and. like large scale violence. It's just you. just it's problem is just the.
information you get bombarded with just. like all this horrible. >> right? And I think there's still like. you know news outlets are it's all. everything is I believe that this is it. depends on what you mean. If you don't. care about existing. and like feeling like uh you can grow as. a human, then maybe so. I thought we. were past some of this like old school. colonial We're just going to, you. know, you'd think we would get past. that. >> Yeah. >> But um No, it's the same thing. They're.
going to They did it with Iraq. They're. going to go, "Oh, there's like an. existential threat." Like, try to think. back on since. >> But America knows it's not true now. We. know it's not true. And it's not our pe. nobody's upset at our soldiers or. anything like that. It's just the people. putting them out there in harm's way. And to think about that. >> Well, it's like, dude, think about a. time there hasn't been a giant looming. existential threat over our head. >> I know. >> Since like literally the atom bomb, it. was like terrorism was the big one. And. that was like the Iraq war, you know, back in like when I before that it was. just like Fox News. My parents would.
watch it and it would just be like crime. in the city. It'd be like the inner. cities are out of control. They're going. to come kill you. >> always. >> And then it was just like terrorists are. going to come kill you. Then. there was Unsolved Mysteries. [laughter]. >> Remember they threw that there in the. middle. >> Yeah. Yeah. Then there was Unsolved. Mystery. Unsolved mysteries was. good, though. I like. It was banging. Maybe you could. help solve a mystery. [laughter]. >> And do we go outside and looking. for missing people in our area? We're. like, "Are you Rebecca Owens?". >> Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate.
I was a passive of unsolved mysteries. I. never even tried. I I kind of I feel bad. about that. >> I used to collect all those 1800 the. missing cards, the ones that came in the. mail. Yeah. And I would look at those. on my way. >> That's good. >> I was all felt like I was like cuz I. always wanted to find somebody that was. missing or always wanted to find like a. dead body or something. >> Yeah. I was just talking to a guy today. He does uh for a living. I had him on my. show for a living. He goes into. bankowned foreclosures and his job is to. like assess what bad how bad of a. condition it's in. And he's been. multiple times come in just a dead body.
Wow. And he said, "You just got to like. kind of, you know, you got to like give. it a, you know, respectful nudge and. then you call if like call the cops or. whatever, come get it.". >> You think the first time you nudgy nudge. light and then after a while you. get a little t like the fourth and fifth. time you just give it a I think. you give it two solid just like a hard. knock just [laughter]. two. You got to make sure just give it. one and then just like in case it's. waking up then no response. You're like, "Yeah, it's a dead person. I'm in the. house with the dead person by myself and. I got to call the cops. >> Yeah, they must have had a good.
exterminator around [laughter]. you, dude. Um, there you go. Right. there, dude. Is that JRod the. electrician? [laughter]. >> Shout out JRod the electrician, dude. If. you haven't followed that guy's journey, it's the best. Um, but yeah, having a. garden, doing things that build your own. life up. They give you purpose, right? That's the thing. Let me do something. with my kids. Let me uh look at. this dead rat or you know what I'm But. let me check. Let me check out this dead. rat space. >> Let me start a history podcast. Let me. learn about journeys that were before. me. You know, just I think we have to.
start to create our own senses of. purpose. We have to find new ones in our. lives. >> Yeah, man. I think I totally agree. And. it's like, you know, I just for me it's. just like I'm weary of the news. apparatus information. Whenever I find. myself getting angry, you know, it's. again, it's just like I just have to ask. myself like, am I getting pulled into. some weird thing? I try to just like, you know, I guess it sounds like a. copout, but like stay out of that as. much as possible. Like what can I do? It's like I'll try to make people laugh. if I can and just make like, you know, some vaguely entertaining and some.
fashion stuff and then. >> yeah, >> just try to conduct myself and like tend. to the stuff around me because it's like. I don't know what the hell's. going on. It's like I I don't you know I. have no idea. I can I can surmise and. guess and I I think I have you know idea. but it's like I don't know. try to just. be like look man that's. >> if someone calls me to ask me to help. with the situation I'll try to do what I. can but it's like it's just you know. almost like sometimes I feel like I'm. just spinning my wheels or just like I'm. getting like kind of worked over a. little bit to where it's like man these. guys they're in my head right now and. I'm you know that's that's like.
dangerous man especially when you get. like collective anger you can just. you can move that stuff around. and like people you can do stuff with it. it's like I'm always kind of weary where. I'm like I don't know man. >> yeah that's part of the trap too you. start to realize well this is part of. the trap they want us to be upset. >> there's a reason why they have all this. information that's out there. So much of. it is still under control. >> that there's a reason why this little. bit and this got leaked and it's like. Yeah. I don't know. Being alive is. interesting, man. I will say it gets. more and more interesting. >> It does. I I agree. The older you get, I. think it does get more and more. interesting for sure. I I like I like.
getting older. A lot of people are. always like, "Oh, man. It sucks." I'm. like, "Bro, I like I'm excited to be 50, dude. Like, this is going to be. awesome.". >> You just got 40, man. >> I know. I'm going to be 40. I'm going to. chill and be 40. But it's like I don't. have the uh I think it's cool. I don't. know. Something about getting older is. like everyone I guess when you start. hurting all over that probably sucks, but I kind of I dig it. I like getting. older. Getting gray. I want to get I. want to look like old as as fast as. possible. It's my goal right now. >> Really? >> I'm trying to age max. Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. That's dope, bro. >> This is a die job, by the way. I'm like.
jet black normally. >> Is it really? >> No. [laughter]. >> I'm really stressed out. >> Well, dude, thanks for coming and uh and. chatting with us, bro. >> Dude, for sure. Thanks, man. Um upcoming. dates, uh the Fitzgerald Theater, um for. uh Matt McCusker, uh Hoy Sherman place, Desmos, St. Paul, Phoenix, Tucson. Phoenix and Tucson, man. Uh you guys got. to show up. Toronto. Oh, the Elgen's a. cool spot, dude. >> Toronto's been good. I'm happy with.
Toronto. >> and Chicago. Let's go. >> That's my I'm stoked on that. >> Um. >> dude, thank you for that. >> Yeah, dude. Thanks for And I got to come. and do you guys a show again when I'm. back in town. >> Please, please do. That'd be awesome. Next time it's uh we got to come and do. we did that one the last time with La. Mer. It. >> was awesome, dude. Yeah. Yeah. >> Blancies or whatever. I think. >> Blancies was great. That was I think. that might have been an alltime episode. for real. >> That was awesome. >> Yeah, dude. It's fun when you sit down. So, thank you, bro. I appreciate it. Um. Yep. Tell Britney thanks for inviting me. to the party. For sure.
>> It was a good time. >> Thanks for coming, >> dude. It was great. I'm glad I got to. see you and just be there for you. So. many people love you. It's so many. It's. so funny. You're like the one guy when. you say something like, "Oh, man. C. people like God, he's a great guy. It's. almost like you you're dead. [laughter]. But they say that about you while. you were alive. It is kind of up. Like God, if he were here right now, we. would [laughter]. >> I dug him. >> Ah, he was a great guy. It's nice to be. getting eulogized just like [laughter]. Yeah, he was a great guy. >> When you get living eulogies, dude, I. think you're doing a good job, man. Thanks for all your service to humanity,
dude. And uh Matt and Shane Secret. podcast. And what's the New History. podcast called? >> It's just on our Patreon. It's just. Yeah, we just That's just a thing I do. on our Patreon. Shane was gone filming, so I had to like I had to just read. books. I had to rely on like cool books, you know? That was that was kind of But. it was it [laughter] was like I can't. just make up stuff to talk about. >> Yeah. >> So, yeah, I just had the books. >> Yeah, man. Thanks, bro. Thank you for. everything, dude. Good to see you, dude. Appreciate it. Yeah, man. >> Now, [music]. I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I.
must be corner stone. Oh, but when [music] I reach that. ground, I'll share this peace of mind I. found. I can feel it in my.
