Matt McCusker | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #504
I have some new tour dates to announce I. will be in Cork Ireland on June 9th at. live at the Marquee tickets for this. show go on sale Tuesday May 21st at 2. p.m. local time we also have tickets. remaining in New York New York on May. 31st Belfast UK on June 6th. London June 16th Idaho Falls.
Salt Lake City and Las Vegas Nevada we. will be down there on July 5th and 6th. for the Fourth of July weekend get all. your tickets at theo. comom and thank you so much for your. support today's guest is a comedian um. he's a. podcaster uh he's the co-host of Matt. and Shane's secret podcast um he has a.
special that just premiered last year. called the speed of light uh he's. touring Now everywhere uh I'm grateful. to get to spend time with him today's. guest is Matt. [Music]. mccusker I'll sit and tell you my. stories. sh. me and I will find.
[Applause]. song what have you been watching do you. been watching um NBA finals or war and. Gaza more war and Gaza honestly yeah I. haven't caught a lot of the finals yeah. but yeah I'm see I'm being you know. bombarded with the uh footage of the war. opinions about it everyone you know. people have a different take yeah people.
have I guess a lot of different takes. over there I don't even know what inning. it is in but I think it's in overtime I. think they've been they've been going. for a while yeah it seems like it's kind. of uh yeah you feel like they a referee. would step. in yeah you think and mitigate because. it feels like it's like a 10 run rule. genocide over there yeah that's the uh. that's that's like the popular opinion. that they're being totally genocided. they throw out the kids and you're like. damn that's terrible but then you get.
people going hey why can't Israel defend. itself and you go all right that's. that's a fair point too oh yeah no. that's definitely a fair point yeah I. have no idea man I think it's I think. it's awful and it's like I I I hear a. lot of people talk about it with. certainty and I'm like yeah sure yeah. anytime I watch a video about Pro. Palestine I'm like okay I see that then. we had RFK on our podcast yesterday and. he was like actually Israel rules and. we're like okay those are good points. too but it's it's very bad from what I. understand the footage I see is really. bad and you know I I just I hope they.
can figure it out but it looks like. they're going to have to a lot more. people are going to have to die and then. they're going to maybe figure it out cuz. the us could shut it down couldn't they. it seems like we could yeah it seems. like we could jump in and shut it down. you know but we fund Israel I just don't. like that net and yah I don't like I. don't trust that net and Yahoo guy yeah. he's a shady character that guy seems. like a just a um just yeah like a. control pervert or something yeah he. seems like a like for real a bad guy he. seems like a real deal bad guy you just.
look at him like oh that's the bad guy. if you asked a four-year-old right like. who's the bad guy here they would. immediately pull out that dude also. whenever someone's been the president. for like 27 years that's usually the. case where it's like all right the US. should go to war with both of them we. should start bombing Israel and. Palestine until they both stop um maybe. I don't know I'm spip on I'm SP I think. I've always thought we should give. Mississippi to Palestine that's not bad. one of them's going to get Miss Missippi.
loser gets Mississippi or you know what. I'm saying give Palestine a place here. you know that'd be cool I'd be down with. that cuz then at least the people would. have a place to be you know where they. could true like not be in competition I. guess with their neighbors and live at. peace you know but yeah I don't know I. don't know I don't know a ton about it I. just I just feel like a certain way you. know yeah yeah I watch Norman finlin and. I'm like holy [ __ ] this guy and I'm like. he's Jewish so he's got the inside track. and then I watch people talk about him.
like he's he's a piece of [ __ ] and it's. like dude it's a it's a bad thing the. student protests are crazy too then you. have peace demonstrations that fight. each other over the issue and it's like. it's kind of LARPing like when the. college kids start like Renaissance Fair. kind of I mean I hate you know I don't. mean and I don't mean to like Belita. like that but then it's like and then. the craziest part was at oh miss they. started yelling USA it's like really. yeah which side was yelling USA oh the.
Frat Boys the Frat Boys yeah came in and. don't bring the any of this [ __ ] around. here they're kind of playing risk in. real life they were America and they. came in like yeah dude [ __ ] don't touch. the flag America rules yeah yeah I think. when people start taking down the flag I. guess that makes total sense too you. know yeah you you know you can you can. fight about anything really you know. that's one thing to go to like a news. story and just be like all right I'm. this team I'm gonna fight these guys I. think sometimes you you think oh maybe. we're past War but maybe that's just a. um a side effect of living in America.
and not realizing that a lot of people. still live in like a lot of conflict you. know yeah no it does it seems more and. more ridiculous it seems like like back. in the day it was normal you know at. least back then like slavery was a. worldwide institution that everyone was. like yeah this is just how it is and I I. wonder if War's going to become that in. like 50 years where it's like dude you. guys are going to war it's like that's. shitty it's like we didn't know because. it is it's insane but it's like if. someone attacks you you have to attack. them back to stop them from attacking. you so it's one of those things it's. hard yeah hard to stop it'd be nice but.
it does seem more and more ridiculous. especially when you have like the. politicians who are like we got to love. everyone we need to like include. marginalized and they're like Go bomb. the [ __ ] out of those guys you're like. all right that's for sure that's a weird. change of pace but yeah yeah that's a. yeah you start to realize like oh this. it's all a bunch of [ __ ] kind of. like it's all like. um yeah I don't even know what I'm. trying it's like no it's it's it's. absurd war is becoming absurd now cuz.
it's just kind of like well you can see. why it's happening I feel like it used. to used to be this Mirage like we're. fighting for the country and stuff and. now it's like well now people are like. what do you mean you don't even care. about our country like our government's. just letting millions of people. in Eric Adams just said that they should. let illegal immigrants this is the. [ __ ] most insane thing I've ever. heard okay he said they should let. illegal. immigrants be lifeguards at pools which. is a job that is apparently in high.
demand because we don't have enough. people doing the job that's I mean dude. I had a community pool in Philly that it. would get shut down because there were. no lifeguards and it used to drive me. crazy oh so it's a real thing there are. there is weirdly there's a lack of. lifeguards in like at least in. Philadelphia they were it was hard they. were hard to come across I mean it's. pretty funny but he said because they're. excellent swimmers that states those. jobs that we are in high high demand we.
could. expedite how do we have a large body of. people that are in our city and country. that are excellent. swimmers and at the same time we need. lifeguards and the only obstacle is that. we won't give them the right to to. become that uh so you saying illegal. aliens are great swimmers that's kind of. like a setup for a pretty easy uh joke. about you know Mexican dudes and well.
Mex not Mexican they didn't like there's. not even it's all desert I mean I could. see maybe Cubans I could. see uh Puerto Ricans maybe Nova scotians. or somebody that would have to swim here. but well that's the joke isn't that the. joke though Mexican dudes to say they. swam here across some River but I mean I. I would say I don't did they I think so. but could it be I could be wrong I could. be I could be oh the Rio gr yeah I think. that's like the final like in the Oregon.
Trail when you have to do that final. River yeah I think that's the final. thing they got to do is well that's not. that's like knee deep but oh wow yeah. maybe that is the final thing there's. some of them congratulating their. friends or whatever yeah they got they. got to put out like an inner city bayw. watch as like lifeguard propaganda to. get people stoked on lifeguarding again. dude yeah why don't we have a Mexican. bayat and big. breasty lifeguards at the that was when.
lifeguarding was cool now like nobody. wants to be a lifeguard cuz it's kind of. like you know it's not as cool as it was. Pam Anderson they could have yeah just. like a bunch of Band-Aids floating in. the pool it be [ __ ] be. tight dude I would go I go run across a. border every day and just [ __ ] start. drowning get some CPR truee they got to. they got to fire something up because it. does suck when you want to go to a pool. in your neighborhood and they're like oh. we're closed and you're like why like we. don't have lifeguards you're like dude. are you [ __ ] serious but how do not. have a lifeguard usually they would let.
a 15-year-old or 16-year-old kid who was. taller than some of the other. kids and he took a CPR class yeah right. or learned it online they would let him. be the Lifeguard how was that when did. that stop I don't know I think it still. is kids I think they just don't want to. work I guess I don't know what it is cu. it's a easy it's a cake job dude you're. just sitting there on the high chair. blow no I've just i' I've watched them. I've been watching them for a long time. but it's like it seems easy you chill in. a pool it's easy the ocean is real yeah.
pool it's like dude just keep an eye. make sure nobody drowns oh yeah pool. that guy wasn't watching kids a lot of. times it seemed like he was just trying. to smash like any chicks or moms or. whatever like there'd be four drowning. kids and he'd be he'd be over there. [ __ ] uh just doing chest compressions. on a divorce you know that's the parks. of the job that's crazy kids don't want. to do that it's probably like 15 bucks. an hour hooking up with Moms sunshine. and it's the best your body is probably.
the healthiest you're going to be yeah. you still have um exosome you still have. like um cord blood in your system or. whatever yeah man you got the young yeah. like the platelets and all that stuff. yeah and you can also do that thing. where everyone has to like public pools. you all have everyone has to get out for. some reason they'll be like on like. every hour like everyone out of the pool. yeah for no re every gets back in so you. could like start ling a couple late like. you guys stay you guys out yeah like a. water bouncer kind. of yeah hot chicks in first you know.
dude and at that age you were so Prime. you could just point at your dick and it. would ejaculate you know when you were. like 15 yeah you're doing like they're. they're like at least the ones on the. beach they do like insane conditioning. too yeah so yeah man they could you. could be you're jacked you're ripped I. think kids just aren't jacked that. they're not as jacked anymore so they're. probably ashamed of their bodies yeah. they're pale and kind of like you know. not as ripped as they were before you. think so yeah kids are not ripped like. they were they all wear [ __ ] shirts. now every little kid at the beach wears. a [ __ ] Sun protective shirt it's like. let me see your.
pecks trying to see how they're built I. want to make sure we're notated the. beach there's a there's a picture of a. kid I met years ago and we've kept in. touch over um letter we've been pin p. for a few years yeah what was he wearing. oh he wasn't wearing much he kind of a. thicker kid I think his one of his. parents had passed away oh D you find it. bringing up there we go. and that kid was like nine one of those.
big kids big nine that's good though. that's that's his cocoon he's about to. totally more who's the dude that's me. buddy what yeah bro when was this that's. back when you could wear what you wanted. before the government said. everything when was dude you look great. man thanks dude see that's what I'm. saying like that kid should be more. ripped than you just by laws of nature I. mean again I'm not shaming him obviously. I I was a fat young kid too so oh that. kid ripped into some cookies dude that. dude was a [ __ ] Snack Daddy he was a.
little [ __ ] snack serpent were you. fat when you were younger no I was fat I. remember there was like one fall or. something everybody in our town got fat. or something I think something bad. happened and then everybody got fat and. then like in the spring everybody like. kind of thinned out yeah um seventh. grade's like Peak fat seventh grade for. kids you get like really fat and then. puberty kind of like shoots you up yeah. did you did you go through a a thicker. time in your life yeah was pretty chubby. I wanted to play football and I stopped.
growing so I was like I'm just going to. get huge so I did like the gallon of. milk a day thing in like eighth grade. going into ninth and I just got fat as. hell I was like super fat I just got fat. now he got caught from the football team. yeah you're just drinking a gallon of. milk a day dude you're a. newborn that's they used to say that if. you drink a gallon of milk a day you. just put on tons of mass now you know. the Cozy Shack Rice puddings uhuh. they're these big tubs of rice pudding I. would crush one of those every day bring. up a couple rice puddings dude cozy. Shack that was my [ __ ] I used to crush.
them in class so I got really big I just. wasn't tall enough I played D end and. then I stopped growing I'm I'm 5'10 yeah. those things man God damn it man were. they good yeah they're so good you guys. ever eat cozy Shake it's good man I used. to crush a tub it was like nine servings. and I would sit there in class and put. it down they called me fat mat I had. like a serious fat period really but I. did own it I really owned it my screen. name my AOL screen name was Fat Matt oh. and I got kicked off of AOL cuz I had. written. something it was like a rap lyric about.
gun violence in a chat room no it was. just like a beasty Boy song and then. Coline happened the next day so someone. reported my day before post as like go. and Coline I didn't do that so I got. kicked off a I got reported my parents. kicked me off AOL and then I came back a. I got kicked off like a year at least my. I think my parents restricted me for. that long I came my new screen name Fat. Mat Strikes Back That was I came back. yeah I came back oh yeah like the Jedi. or whatever Return of the FED. ey yeah I I got kicked off of man it. sucked that was the [ __ ] after school.
just putting up your chats there's the. girls in your class you be like yo. what's up aw did you do that did that. you didn't do the AOL chat the instant. messenger no I don't know what I did I. usually just went home and felt bad. about myself for a couple. hours um but yeah I would probably. rather do it online to other people but. then we started this podcast do it now. well you could go back then you would do. on instant messenger when it was time. for dinner you put like an away message. be like you come up with something cool. like yo I'm not here right now I'll be. back yeah at the mall yeah at the mall.
did you crush the mall too when you were. younger have to go to work dude we used. to go camp outside of the mall cuz it. was about maybe the mall is probably 17. miles away it was kind of near this. Pizza Hut and damn um we would go camp. out there so we go on Saturday bring a. tent camp out and go back in Sunday. morning and just do everything that that. they that they had in there they had a. um they had all types of shops for a. while they had a um uh. what was that one that had all the like.
stuff for like kids kind of like or like. weird [ __ ] it would have like a lava. lamp and then like Spencers pride flag. yeah Spencers yeah yeah and yeah you can. get like a dildo they just sold like. dildos and lava lamps and like attitude. posters and [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah it was. like you can do it you know and there. going to be a dildo like that isn't even. what is this about they had like gag GI. you can get like the small pecker condom. which was like a teeny tiny condom and. like hand it to someone they'd be like. oh dude what the [ __ ] yeah why'd you do. this to me it was the wor yeah or you.
could get like a condom that had like. pepper on. it this [ __ ] that was like you know and. you'd see somebody cutting one up in. like a bowl of chili or like nobody knew. how you used some of the products there. dude yes Spencers was like black light. alien posters like wildly sexual gifts. yeah and yeah it's it was the it did. well man that that place that store was. around forever they had I I believe they. had some racial gifts too um would imag.
one time I saw a hat there I remember. this anyway I saw a hat it said the N. word on the front right on the back it. said just joking across the. back and I'm like first of all and we're. like trying them on or whatever and I'm. like the odds of first of all if someone. sees the front they're going to get. pissed right the last thing you want to. do to that person is show them the back. turn your back to them they're going to. beat this [ __ ] mid punch like oh [ __ ] my.
bad I know you're just [ __ ]. around dude that's crazy yeah they what. happened to Spencers let's find that out. because that is I feel like they get. bought by Hot Topic maybe I feel like. that also sounds like just two gay dudes. that F like hey Spencer and Hot Topic. are [ __ ] you know flailing it out. over. there I used to work in the mall it's. like a for real it's like a um it's like. a subculture if you're a mall employee. you talk to the other Mall employees and. you guys like trade discounts with each.
other MH I worked at a candy stand in. the mall for like three months I had I. had a bad I want to know more about it. let's I want to know what happened to. Spencer real quick just so we have. please please please Spencer Gifts was. founded in 1947 in eastn Pennsylvania by. Max Spencer as a mail order catalog. which sold an assortment of novelty. merchandise wow the company moved all. mail order and fulfillment operations to. Atlantic City New Jersey in. 1960 still have 650 stores wow whoa.
Seagram bought them oh they acquired. Halloween Halloween Spirit Halloween. which was a seasonal retailer that all. Mak sense Spirit of Halloweens are a. nice hustle you open up for like three. months make like probably 70,000 bucks. and just shut them down yeah I like I've. been peeping those out for a while yeah. I wouldn't mind getting into something. like that that would be nice man they're. cheap they cost nothing you whole and. you can use them year after year after. they don't spoil yeah but then you have. a garage full of Freddy masks all year. and you can't park in your you don't. know where to park your car you needed. big story space it is [ __ ] up to have.
that many Freddy. F that many bloody plastic butcher. knives true that would be kind of the. worst part is dude imagine you coming in. you're drunk a little bit right or. peeled up or whatever some or people in. your family are pilled up or your pilled. up son drives into the driveway right he. hits a couple of the boxes dude and one. of the boxes is those ghosts that's. like that might scare the whole [ __ ]. box just starts making that sound oh my. God that' be ter did the mes the just.
motion activated A Chorus of your car. hits a box and it [ __ ] just activated. it dude it's like 40 of those bats just. singing the graveyard smash that be the. dude if you can't especially like a lot. of warehouses you know the businesses go. out of they go out of business and then. it's like if you're like renting. warehouses they're always full of like a. [ __ ] of a failed business so you could. be like a dark Warehouse by yourself and. like what is this stuff yeah and you. just get motion activated on like 25. greeneyed cat businesses are [ __ ] gay.
dude I think honestly yeah they suck. they do suck think about it. dude they are yeah I were I dude I was. totally when I was younger I was. completely anti- business I would work. retail and I would steal unfortunately I. wouldn't never do that now but I used to. steal badly from if I liked the person I. wouldn't steal if they were mean I'd be. like all right then we'll see about this. and I I could figure every place has. like a giant loophole in the cash. register like if you there would be like. a thing where it's like free baby cone. if like a baby comes up give them a free.
cone but if anything rang up to exactly. like $20 or 25 where you didn't have to. make change you could just hit free baby. cone and then when you go to go the. register just crumple it all up and like. stuff it in your shoe it was bad it was. yeah it was very bad I feel bad about. that um have you ever gone and made. peace with those people or seek them out. no cuz they were my enemies they for. real were my enemies so what kind of. place was it one ice cream shop. Brewsters these are [ __ ] good people. dude. well the manager they were great they.
were fine the the at the candy place. they were for real [ __ ] they came. they only wanted high school girls. working there and then there was a. manager who did a bunch of the place the. place was called like scoop nuts which. is kind of funny but the uh there there. was this lady hired me she had like put. in Sweat Equity all of this stuff and uh. and she was saying like they were trying. to like get rid of her you know again. it's all allegedly I don't want I don't. want the scoop nuts franchise to attack. me but finally it's all rumors it's all. rumors but finally the owners came in. and they were just being [ __ ] like who.
who hired you why are you here I was. like like I'm Matt yeah dude like I'm. trying to make money I'm trying to make. a living like everybody else dude I need. gas money and then from then on when I. thought the lady owned it I was straight. as an arrow and those two dudes came. they were like the lady was like they're. [ __ ] me you know this sucks this is. [ __ ] I'm so sorry I was like no. problem I knew my time was limited so I. cashed up big time yeah how much did you. take from him you think or allegedly. take from if you even did it I mean it. would have been at the time it seemed. crazy cuz I would leave with like 70. bucks a shift and be like holy [ __ ].
that's a lot D I was crushing them I was. I was getting after I was getting after. cuz that register you just typed out you. weigh it and typed the amount so I'd be. like it would weigh at a certain thing. and I was just taxing it who would order. 70 bucks worth enough it wouldn't be it. would be like everything was 5 to 10. bucks but then I could just be like 250. I could just type it in the register. baby cone baby cone baby cone cut the. [ __ ] weight in half too I feel bad if. I if they ever reached out I'd obviously. just say it to them now you can talk. right under that camera I I got it man I. I probably owe them like 500 bucks which. in High School was a lot if you're. rolling with that's insane amount of.
money that's what I'm saying back then. now that's like almost 20. [Music]. 30,000 true with inflation you [ __ ] I. bought a house I bought my first house. off of. it you have a boat it says nuts scooped. on the back of it that's the name of it. but you know they're probably fine guys. I was just getting information you know. when you're 17 you don't know what the. [ __ ] going on yeah so but yeah. unfortunately you know if you should. steal or not yeah I was bad on that that. was my fault that for real that was a. weakness of mine theft was a weakness.
dude I was I love to steal what was it. about stealing man I would try to like. let me think of some things that I stole. dude I stole a Budd of mine's boxer. shorts one time he had some nice ones. right they were from like Gap or. something or like um I don't even know. what they had I think they had. um or something I think there was from. Gap or maybe they was made out of silk. oh oh God it was nice that [ __ ] yeah. they I had a pair of them they're nice.
and silk to even and yeah it must have. probably took 70,000 spiders to make. these [ __ ] boxers right like it was. stunning and I stole him and then wore. him to his [ __ ] house and he's like. dude those are my boxers and I was like. no no these aren't no way. dude I you're crazy and then he was. always like I don't know if he was gay. but he was always trying to take him off. of my body true that is [ __ ] up he was. trying to do that yeah so that's defin. so you guys were just getting changed. and he was like yo those are mine like. yo stop looking at my dick this is crazy. yeah he would trying to take him off me.
I'm like even if I'm a thief dude that. doesn't mean you should be gay true two. wrongs I'll make it right yeah dude so. it's just that kind of activity in the. community was kind of changing the scope. in our area um I had I had a dude who I. know I knew of a guy who his friend had. stolen something similar his friend had. stolen his favorite t-shirt or something. he really liked and he stolen it and he. was like give it back to me his friend. wouldn't give it back he's like [ __ ] you. blah like they're like messing around. and this dude went into his house and. this the kid had a hot system sister and. he stole a pair of the sister's panties.
and then went to the dude and was like. yo you know I [ __ ] this chick check it. out and hit him hit the panties and he. went awesome and then I never told him. yeah he's like it's so diabolical he. told me I was like I mean you definitely. won that battle but I was like that's. that's a heavy cost that's a heavy cost. to win the war and that's the kind of. [ __ ] that's happening in Gaza. dude it needs to stop yeah we need to. send Force right now well the crazy.
thing is over there it's. like I don't know I I don't know enough. about it I need to have people on that. know about it yeah but they're all the. problem is usually they take one Sid so. then you're maybe you have one of each. then they just fight dude this guy you. know Destiny he's on every podcast. separate episodes yeah it's it's him. yeah true he's on separate episodes but. you get like two really fast talking. guys and they just like go on these like. the the Abraham Accords of 1974 you're. just kind of like I can't tell who's. winning right now it's tough separate.
episodes I think is what I need cuz I I. want to know more about that makes okay. I thought you saying he was on every one. yeah that uh yeah I want to have two SE. two two guys separate episodes yeah. because I want to know more about it it. just feels [ __ ] up like in my heart. like if I ask my heart what's going on. here it's like pal you got to free. Palestine I don't know how though it's. like you have to or I know that's just. the term but it's. like yeah I don't know cuz it doesn't. seem like they're bad guys no but then. they but then there's the October sth. and that's horrible well the problem is.
the the Hamas distinction is tough cuz. then they the Hamas they say hides. within the civilian population but then. the civilian population elected Hamas. but then if you like look into why it's. like they got like bombed terribly so. they're like all right well then [ __ ]. you right yeah man it's one of those. things it's like dude and apparently. there's like other genocides going on. too that's not the only one oh really. yeah I think so I think there's some. other terrible Wars going on could be. wrong but I think there are some other. ones as well yeah so there's a lot. there's a lot of them I think they're. always going on too which is terrible oh. there's one in.
wyomingde warning in ManUp. India is up there genocide watch turkeys. obstruction evade to Kurds genocide. alerts this is currently from genocide. alerts.com that's a. website it's kind of who bought that. this is [ __ ] unbelievable if you. bought that world do we live in does. this show up on your whoop bracelet or. something this is unbelievable that we. have a website called genocide alerts. now. so you wake up in the morning and you.
check um genocide emergencies and. warnings 2024 current alerts Israel. Hamas and. Gaza uh maner. India um I'm looking for the PayPal Link. at the bottom yeah that would be the T. like send five bucks we'll keep fighting. these yeah dude there's more oh that's. 2022 okay so there's not too too many. just I just I wonder if we get accurate. news about it too though that's a thing.
I mean yeah it's pretty tough man it's. like coming out of a usually some sort. of dictatorship on one side of the other. yeah dude I don't know what's going on. like if you ask me about like Texas. politics I'm like I don't know I have no. clue you need to know it today's episode. is sponsored by prize picks that's how. you pick them if you like firing on. Sports like I do prize picks is the best. daily fantasy sports app for you what I. like about it is that it's Unique you. can on all your favorite sports like NBA.
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bluechew.com for more details and. important safety information and we. thank blue for sponsoring the podcast. Matt mccusker you're a podcaster and a. comedian yeah you started out obviously. working in ice cream you started out. working in Theft theft yeah yeah it was. theft ice cream retail no I I what. retail do you work out at uh it was. really just Brewsters and the candy. place I did my family did construction. so I did more construction growing up up. but it was like I got a couple retail I.
kind of did almost every I worked in an. office for a couple months did retail. did. construction uh pizza delivery did pizza. delivery it was kind yeah yeah it was. pretty chill pizza delivery was pretty. crazy dude yeah I was delivering pizza. in a bad neighborhood too and that's. like scary as [ __ ] I had multiple not I. had multiple instances where I had like. same time a pie with the cash it was. crazy it was yeah it was not good I used. to cook I was the cook too so I would. I was there by myself I would cook and.
then I would lock the store then go. deliver a pizza and have to like like. all right let me see that it was crazy. it was unbelievable you're basically a. oneman business why were you working for. somebody else it was my cousin. shop he started a pizza shop dude and I. was like yeah I'll do it and I had quit. the office job I was at a sales job and. I quit that I was like dude I can't do. this anymore did you ever sell tele. marketing did you ever sell like Tony. Little gazelle freestylers to people on. like my used to do that my buddy had to. work for his dad One Summer and his dad.
owned like a call center and he had his. call and with it was Tony oh he was. doing those dude he had sell Tony little. gazel freestylers dude and it's. basically just like it's almost like a. it's like a swing set for people who. could be and I don't like to say this. word out loud but [ __ ] right it's a. swing set it's like a b leg by pedal. swing set for people that could be. [ __ ] it's like for people that are. afraid to ski right it's basically it's. like this so it's like wives don't want.
it's like so you can practice as a wife. leaving your husband it's like it's like. that's how you would go right it's like. every wife that wanted to leave their. husband if they were afraid they would. just get on this for an hour yeah he. would just Pi Piper them away yeah that. thing's crazy my buddy had to cold call. people and try to sell it to them so. dude um but also they had numbers that. would go in that people would call in. and uh we would call in all the time. dude and he had to do like a like a 30. second Preamble right when you call dude. and we would just he would do it and we'. be like quit he like did you ever do a.
call center no man I worked at um we had. a pizza place too I worked at one called. BJs and uh and then there was another. one born again crushin it was a pizza. like a dud that's nice it was pretty. cool it was like this church had started. a little um Italian pie area dude I sold. Italian food door too with a dude right. there was this guy my mom went on a date. with and he was like he wasn't even.
Italian he just had a mustache like. that's kind of the part of the South we. were in like if somebody had a mustache. they were Italian we're like what do you. mean he's [ __ ] has a cleft now yeah. so anyway but I had to go door too with. him and I was just like his assistant or. something I would get like two bucks but. he would just sell like Italian like. Frozen stuff to wives or whatever and. then dude I swear sometimes I I kind of. remember remember just he would just. leave me alone for and I know he was.
like talking of these W like just like. dirty business um but let's get into it. I sidetracked it so Matt um so you got. so that's what you were working in yeah. I was doing you know I I grew up mainly. doing construction with odd jobs and. then I went to school uh for psychology. and then I tried to well I did I I got I. dropped my Psychology major then. switched to business just because my. friends were in business so I was like. I'm going to go chill with my friends so. I switched my whole major to be in class. with my friends really yeah it wasn't.
good it wasn't a good idea looking back. on it I'm like damn I [ __ ] up cuz. psychology like you got to go to school. for like seven more years and I was like. [ __ ] that like all my friends were in. business I'm like I'm just going to do. that so I was like I'm going to go to. school for business and I assumed if I. went to school for business I'd. automatically make $100,000 a year this. is what I told myself like yeah I'll. make 100 G's for sure and then like 2008. came the like the real St Market. collapsed but I uh no I started doing up. when I was like 23 in Philly okay so I.
would do it I my what I would do is I do. stand up for like 6 months and i' like. [ __ ] this and stop do it for like nine. months [ __ ] this and stop and I just did. that forever and ever and ever so and. then me and Shane started the podcast. and I had still been doing standup back. then I was doing s up a lot so I just. gotten divorced oh you did yeah I made a. really when I was when I was younger I. was like 2 six or seven I I like got. engaged when I was younger and I was. like no more of this [ __ ] or funny. business I'm going to put my best foot. forward. and be a husband and I just [ __ ].
failed dude like I couldn't do it I for. real thought I just thought that's what. you do I'm like yeah it's time to you. know quit [ __ ] around I like Tred to. get I was like a personal trainer at LA. Fitness I was like selling weed like it. was bad it was bad dude damn dude it was. bad wow well you're entrepreneurial it. sounds like true yeah my family are all. entrepreneurial my dad owned his own. business all like they all did their own. thing so I grew up with that was just. kind of drilled into me like you have to. work for yourself wow yeah which is cool. that's kind of cool yeah but they also.
everyone works like working 60 hours a. week was like the norm my dad was always. like 40 hours parttime he's do 40 hour. weeks you're a part-timer yeah I was. like hell yeah somebody said Jesus only. worked like 30 hours a week who said. that huh who said that a b like pretty. uh bring it up I know a lot of people. said how many hours a week did Jesus. work look it. up 30 kind of is dude dude I could tell. you a lot of [ __ ] dude I heard honestly. Douglas like dudes bro what yeah and.
nobody wants to say that [ __ ] Frederick. Douglas damn really yeah are you. breaking. it I don't want to out the dude. but free at. last I. mean I it took me I didn't go through. like my database of people I I thought. at first talk about Michael Douglas and. then I went oh yeah yeah yeah different. guy different guy damn he was totally. different guy possibly [ __ ] way. different he was possibly [ __ ] dudes. that's. crazy I mean I get it it's not that.
crazy though no it's not cuz think about. it if you're like I'm going to do. something different I don't want to have. slavery right I don't want to I'm going. to lead my people to a different. direction yeah and especially a lot of. more men I think what percentage of. slaves were males that's a good point. never thought about. that also he was an outside the box. thinker he was you know right so he was. like you know what else I might. literally okay whoa It's 179 damn that's. like 100 females it's like China so. that's definitely a good way to meet. dudes probably yeah sausage.
party so yeah the Underground Railroad. was a sausage party. dude [ __ ] [ __ ] that's [ __ ]. [ __ ] no that's [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah. that is [ __ ] dude because yeah. that's crazy the [ __ ] Underground. Railroad was a sausage party oh I bet. dudes were hooking up bro probably yeah. once they got yeah especially going to. like the East Coast you get there. probably like liberal as hell back then. it's like liberal was probably very not.
at all but yeah that's uh that's [ __ ]. up I didn't know the ratio so off I. assumed it was one to one me too yeah. you just kind of think that isn't that. funny your brain just kind of thinks. that you know but like why if you really. think about that for like two more. seconds you're like uh what happened. like there's a reason like China has. suppressed female births you're like how. did that work out you know was there's. no way they were being born at that rate. of male to female right they just chose. to suppress it yeah that's [ __ ] up.
apparently in Rome they used to just. throw babies in trash like nothing huh. Sparta there was like a badge of honor. if you had like if your kid came out. like a little bit defective you were. supposed to just like toss him in the. trash and every be like nice no way like. that's how we'll keep us strong. yeah well shout out to the Jews the Jews. were people back then who were like. that's wrong and they didn't do it they. would tell people not to do it yeah. they're like we don't throw kids out. like that dude this Jewish lady used to. drop her kids off at the McDonald's in. our town and [ __ ] they would stay. there all day. dude yeah those kids were there every.
day and I think one of them was mentally. disabled or something so people were. always saying that like he dropped them. off there and it wasn't cool you know. yeah that's not nice at all but I think. yeah even a couple of someone I think. more than one of them might have been. mentally disabled but also most of our. town was [ __ ] mentally disabled dude. like you don't realize when other people. are like mentally disabled people stay. in one area and [ __ ] you know yeah so. all that's going to happen over time of. that area is just like.
a um. Quagmire of uh intellectual culde. sacking you know yeah dude I it. especially when you find out about like. Asbergers I've come to the well I've. actually it waser it was like brought to. my attention I I kind of believe my one. cousin I think my entire family has. Asbergers like my entire like a touch of. it oh and like she explained this and I. was like damn dude you're right we all. have Asbergers yeah and I was like you. know kind of it's good to know not you. know I'm not trying to jump on the. bandwagon but it's like I'm talking.
about like just a tiny spider bite like. a little we we definitely enough just. enough dude just some [ __ ] freckles. on the Sarah. Bellum cuz we go to family parties it's. just data dumps it's just like you're. sitting there like waiting to tell. someone what you're into and they're. like oh last this week I actually did. like I paved a patio and like oh cool. actually my podcast and we just everyone. just dated DP on each other and was like. all right later goes home yeah I feel. that dude it's uh it's kind of nice yeah. it's definitely times are changing. things are blurring I mean we have.
illegal aliens are going to be the life. cards at the sping pool that guy's crazy. dude I almost [ __ ] love the dude now. though he's like we have so many open. lifeguard positions and hm so many good. swimmers that are illegal dude it's such. a funny yeah he didn't even have to go. into that detail he could have been like. yeah we're going to open it up. apparently I read a book and they said. we're going to have to start actually. enticing uh immigrants once we have once. the Baby Boomers die rip we're going to.
have a huge population dip so our. immigration policy in like 240 will most. likely be us begging immigrants to come. or competing with other country other. countries who have severe population. dips like Europe Canada China is going. to get crushed we're going to be. courting immigrants from like Africa and. Latin America really and be like please. come here yeah that that's what the guy. said population the population dip is. going to be crazy like 40 years it said. there's going to be houses are just. going to drop because we we have so many. houses once Baby Boomers there's so many.
more baby boomers than the like the. other generation so but what are you. talking about cuz people have been. saying that overpopulation is going to. be an issue that's the thing it's not at. all it's not going to be whatsoever well. this the first time I'm hearing of that. yeah it's kind of good news I mean it's. kind of cool yeah but it's also I'm just. realizing that the last time I heard it. was somebody just told me it and then. now you're just telling me this so it's. like I'm telling you overpopulation is a. myth we're not look over is it over. which what are we doing right now overp. population or underpopulation according. to the US Census Bureau the civilian.
non- intialized population has grown. into Rave 1.1% over the past 40 years. yeah that's Baby Boomers okay and then. they once they die the developing world. is still having kids like that but all. of like Canada Europe Asia like no one. any developed country has maybe one to. two kids per household and the Baby. Boomers are having like five so you just. do that math and it's just like the. population just spikes the brothers are. smashing though dude a lot of them are. definitely having some [ __ ] kids yeah. for sure there's definitely they're you. know but they're on average but yeah. they're definitely they're crushing it.
and the mexies are smashing dude. smashing up and they should yeah they. should oh definitely dude I don't know. how they do it usually if I come up from. hard days work the last thing I want to. do is [ __ ] smash you know it's tough. I don't even want to jerk off sometimes. that's how sad I. am after a hard day of work yeah it's. like I won't even jerk myself off it's. like yeah but I guess it's good probably. there's nothing s than somebody jerking. off kind of yeah it's really it's weird. especially before work jerking off. before work is just like it's pretty.
tough first of all if you do that your. your whoop bracelet should let the cops. know there's no reason they track you. like the co tracker everyone's phone. ding like this guy just FS yeah that. would be. terrible there's no way we're far from. that though dude once they get something. in our body that can detect like cuz we. don't do a lot we're hungry we jerk off. we have cancer right like we're not. doing a lot of crazy [ __ ] you know they.
could figure and with your phone data. they I'm I'm paranoid still cuz they. they say they're just looking they're. like tracking your facial expressions. and what you're looking at at all times. damn takes one Rogue engineer to be like. bang got them and you're just you're you. on your camera. like with what you're looking at just. print it out and they can be like bam oh. they they watched you watch porn you. mean I mean they could apparently all. all of our data is being watched but. it's being watched in Mass but you would. like if I'm Zuck I could definitely be. like okay where's he at and get like.
your IP address and they if you give. them your IP address they can go on your. computer from their computer I'm change. them on then yeah um get use a VPN I. guess but yeah but the vpns a lot of. them are made by Facebook in those. companies yeah that makes sense that was. like of course they're going to make a. VPN remember signal and all those like. did you ever use those like burner phone. apps on your phone yeah still use them. so those apparent there was one in uh. Europe that was like a it was like the. app to use if you're up to like no good. and it was just set up by the government. and they caught people like committing.
murders and ordering Hit Men and [ __ ]. it's like yo we got a safe line I need. you to kill a guy and the government. just collected all of it and just busted. everybody it makes no sense cuz people. who sell drugs like hit me up on Signal. and you're like yeah dude they can get. this like no it's cryp it's encrypted. it's like yeah I guess man the craziest. thing that happened on Signal I got on a. signal one time some like you got to get. on Signal and I accidentally hit the. thing where it's like let all your. contacts know you're on Signal or. whatever. so dude I got for like four days I.
[ __ ] people were like what are you up. to just crazy [ __ ] huh it is funny to. see who's turn when you open signal you. see who of your contacts are in Signal. you're like all right that's what's up. you just get to find out who's living. kind of a CD a little doing something CD. yeah who's willing to who's willing to. risk it all yeah you. know yeah there's like signal WeChat but. yeah that's and there a funny thing. people just have total faith and like. hit me up on Signal yeah all right man.
but dude imagine you're screaming for. help in a pool and the guy who [ __ ]. supposed to help you doesn't even speak. English dude he thinks you're just doing. a [ __ ] Tick Tock dance or. something I mean they probably be on it. though they would probably jump down. yeah I mean dude I I I'm all in favor of. that because I've been burnt too many. times by lack of lifeguards but it's. just God damn it that is such a uh it's. such a politically it's just such a. strange cause it's it's like all right. bro I feel you we can get into. lifeguarding yeah but we have where I.
live there's no lifeguards we have like. neighborhood pools no no lifeguards it's. pretty. tight yeah going to a pool by yourself I. dude I remember yeah being at a pool by. myself once and I think I got nervous or. whatever so I went to masturbate that. like a little pool house in there you. know and um some guy peaked in the. bathroom when I was in there what yeah. and then I was like oh my god dude made. me so nervous and then um I had to go.
back out it was just me and him just. swimming in the pool together for a. while dude yeah this dude who had just. blatantly see me masturbating in oh man. in. Atlanta I will say jerking off fresh out. the pool kind of hits different if you. get out of a pool and you jerk off it's. slightly different something has to do. with like getting a lot of sunlight and. then jerking off I I swear about this. like leaving the beach at like lunchtime. to jerk off that's insane. bracelet that is I've done it I'll be.
honest I've done it what it's crazy dude. Skin's all warm it's. nice yeah I guess there is different. cool times to do it huh uh yeah to a. Full Moon people used to do it a lot. when I was growing up full moon would be. nice that would be definitely the day. after that people would be just warped. [ __ ] just did like gave it all they. had they um you so so how do you meet. Shane because you and Shane started Matt. and Shane secret podcast which is last. year was the highest grossing podcast on. patreon yeah it's crazy it's insane it's.
unbelievable but when you start them I. like you check the data like oh my God. oh my God then at one point you just. stop checking and you see you're number. one you're like what the [ __ ] I look. it's just it's surreal but we met so. we're both doing standup it was 2014 I. had won Philly's funniest he comes 2015. so I'm like thinking I'm hot [ __ ] oh. white guy the Caitlyn Clark of Philly. huh love he came in and I think he. wanted 2015 so I I we met in 2014 I just. wanted I'm like really feeling myself so. I'm at a show it's funny cuz I'm like. dude this is crazy so I go to a show is.
above an ice cream parlor so I'm just L. yeah I'm Ling out above the ice cream. part like I'm leveling up literally yeah. yeah it was funny too because I think. the uh the owner was crazy it was a. whole debacle but so i' he he had just. moved from uh Harrisburg and no one knew. who he was so he came from Harrisburg. wow and I'm watching him and he was. headlining and would he come on a. horseback or something I mean the story. of Shane Gillis has to be well it was. crazy cuz again never seen him ever in. my life yeah watching him do stand up in.
2014 and I'm going holy [ __ ] this dude. is so fun he had back then I remember. specifically he did a joke I don't. remember what it was exactly it was a. very sensitive topic lost the crowd and. I was like oh I guess he's done dude two. minutes later crowd's cracking up he. brought him back and I was like whoa and. then we started talking after that like. that famous bur set in Philly it was. dude it was crazy and then he uh he we. like started talking after the show I. was like dude that was awesome and then. he showed me a video of a guy getting. eaten by a bear then I showed him a.
video of a guy jumping off a roof and we. just totally clicked up so that was for. real that's how we met and then we. started we got a house together with a. couple other comedians like pretty. shortly afterwards see and girls saidit. guys are hard to figure out I feel like. it's like Meet Me Above an ice cream. parlor that's what I'm saying show me a. video of something eating something. else I'll show you a video of an animal. attacking something dude and we're good. and let's start a family yeah and I was. like divor freshly divorced air mattress.
I think actually we met before I had. gotten totally divorced actually did you. lose a lot of stuff in the divorce I had. nothing yeah I always he people like oh. she took so much from me and I'm like. bro I had no it was embarrassing I wish. I lost stuff in the divorce dude I had. nothing you're still sending her stuff. every now and then I should man it was. for real it's [ __ ] up but I I just. didn't I didn't have anything but I like. do you remember the day you left in the. divorce like dude it's the saddest day. it's for real the saddest cuz she's a. nice she was a nice lady she sounds. beautiful she was a very nice lady I. just I couldn't do it dude like it was.
one of those things where I was living a. life that it wasn't my life that's the. only way I can explain it like I wasn't. I I was meant to do other stuff I could. feel it and it was just like I tried my. best to get jobs and I'm like dude I can. go the straight and narrow just get a. regular job that's all I wanted to do my. dad was like that like have work at a. place come home have kids I was all for. that I just couldn't I was like warped I. couldn't do it I I I tried so so you. really tried you made as much of an. effort as you could as I could but I. learned I was severely handicapped in.
terms of like relating to like I didn't. you you don't realize how bad it is. until you like live with a woman for you. know a couple years handicapped at what. I'm sorry I stepped on you like. emotional relation and trying to like. like see things from other people's. perspectives like I I was totally. unequipped but that the day I left FR. was one of the saddest it was like the. saddest things ever it was like I I was. crying where were you I was in rockboro. so in Philadelphia like just some area. Philly it was cool I like the house we. had a dog I yeah we had a dog together. [ __ ] and who did the dog come in your. car stayed it stayed it was her dog it. was her dog first to be fair but uh yeah.
she was she was really nice man it was. just like did you talk about taking the. dog no man I wasn't going to do that. that would have been heartless to be. like when you said bye like was there a. hug what was that kind of like final. kind of moment like just sad it was just. like goodbye you know did she come out. and walk you out or you said bye inside. she was kicking around so it was kind of. like there was a last glance and it was. it just for was like it's etched into my. memory as one of like the saddest days. of my life cuz I had never really felt. anything about stuff like that like my. relationships before that were like I. would just develop a girlfriend like we.
would just be like hooking up and then. I'd be like oh [ __ ] I got a girlfriend. and you know it was like very very. disassociated I just go through the. motions this I was like trying to put my. best foot forward that was like the. first time I really like I was like oh I. get what people are talking about like. with experiencing like serious. heartbreak and all that stuff just burnt. you down yeah it crushed me it for real. it it it [ __ ] crushed me cuz I were. you crying before you got in the car or. did you I was C I was crying on the way. when I left I wasn't crying before I got. in the car and then I was crying on the. way it's hard to get the key in the. thing sometimes if you're really [ __ ]. crying yeah dude I was crying get the.
first get in reverse and all that [ __ ]. it was bral I wait till I'm in forward. before I cry and then I had to walk the. dog every day cuz I was like look I'll. come up and walk the dog while you're at. work like don't I didn't want her to. stress about anything so I came back go. back in the house during work no one. would be there and I'd walk the dog and. it was just just consumed with guilt and. just horrible feelings just wandering. through your old life like a [ __ ]. ghost for real and I I love the dog too. and the dog L did you did the dog know. you think uh I don't know it was. definely pumped to see me it was always. kind of pumped to see me but I I don't. know I couldn't tell sounds like it was.
maybe an SAE or something what's the sa. Sigma Alpha Epsilon it just sounds like. the dog was in a frat or something like. it didn't have any [ __ ] just pump to. see you guys if [ __ ] it was pump okay. I I would take it for nice it's. definitely a pike or definitely a pike. but yeah it was for real it was a big. eye opener for me though man that's when. I started being like okay like there's. cuz when you're younger you're just so. in your own head where you're like I'm. the only person with feelings that. matter in this world then you like. really cter like the depths of somebody. else's and you're like oh this is like. serious to like just [ __ ] around with.
people's lives so it was a big eye. opener for me so I did the air mattress. on my brother's house for a while that's. heavy dude it reminds me I um was in. love with a girl in high school right. when I was a senior in I was in new and. I remember I decided I was going to go. away to school with in University of. Arizona and some people had when I where. I'm from had never even heard of Arizona. right they didn't believe in it people. like I showed it on a map and they just. you know they just called me a map F. [ __ ] you know like it was crazy some.
of the stuff that was happening and um I. remember just like she and I were like. crying like in her living room or. whatever yeah um oh her mom let me this. was crazy her mom let me stay over the. last night I was there right mhm but her. mom's like no funny business you guys. can uh sleep in the same room like in. the family room right what's that about. huh I don't know dude but here's the. crazy part so anyway some somebody. started some funny business and then I'm.
walking to go get some water or. something or get some piss out of my. wiener or something and uh her mom's. sitting right there in a chair what. yeah [ __ ] man still feel horrible about. that and I you could see that my wiener. was still like weener and you yeah you. pumped up yeah oh God it's a party it's. a party it's a party and I was young you. know huh did you say anything no but I. still feel how she felt yeah I can still.
feel it but she loved me she loved the. mom loved me and so she had like some. respect for me she knew that I really. loved her daughter that's warped though. that she knew what you guys were you. know she has to have some sense but at. least she was close enough there in the. distance almost like a ba like a bird. mom you know like hey I'm going to hang. I'm you can stay in the nest but I'm. going to be right here on the branch oh. my God just in case anybody falls out. and breaks a wing or something yeah she. get rushed in like yo in case somebody. [ __ ] yeah tries to put a worm in the. wrong place you know like but what.
happened was then I the next day uh I. told her buy it like this gas station it. was this big sad thing and we're were. both like balling crying dude yeah [ __ ]. and then I drove off and my [ __ ] car. overheated like 600 feet from the gas. station dude and I had to [ __ ] call D. to come help me. dude that [ __ ] sucks cuz when your. car overheats you think if I drive. faster it starts to cool down your. engine yeah but yeah that [ __ ] so that's. embarrassing oh was horrible dude I. remember pouring cold water through the. [ __ ] air vents trying to get it in.
that way yeah I I've tried to do that a. bunch of time it sucks man it's just. drips out just yeah this that [ __ ] of. just that heartbreak dude yeah I had a. real low point the one day when I was. Shane was laughing about this when I was. telling him but I like at a real low. Point driving home the one day from. walking the dog I'm crying I would cry. every day I'm crying on the way home. driving down Kelly Drive and that's like. in Philly that's a big like outdoor. green area people jog up and down there. and some dude have really short shorts. on and I like pull stopped at a light. and he like looked in the car and I. looked at him was.
like I was crying oh that's the. Philadelphia National anth dude calling. some other dude. a he was like looking in the car and I. was. like what are you looking at tried to. slam his shorts and I was just visibly. balling and I was like it's a low point. I remember just being like what the [ __ ]. was that all about dude dude straight. dude crying that's a hot dude to a gay. dude bro true true he was probably just. a dude wearing regular athletic GE he. might not even been gay yeah that's true. I like think I didn't hate crying a guy. while I was crying but I I think he was. straight the guy was straight as hell.
the guy was so straight he. said dude I was [ __ ] crying yeah oh. obviously he's in the wrong. yeah dude I remember remember one time I. was driving and i' been drinking right. because it was I think it was daytime or. whatever and I'm cruising and the cop. had pulled somebody else over on the. side of the road and he sees me. literally I just drinking out of a taco. vodka bottle no shirt dude right just. ripping it in an 1984 Ford Escort that. was had the passenger seat stolen out of.
it right so um anyway I'm cruising dude. he points at me he's like pull over dude. yeah right he's like he's like he's. dealing with that ticket so I pull over. no right and then I'm like [ __ ] this. dude I'm out of here and I just pulled. off dude you got away yeah they never. caught me it's it's funny he was like. yes come here I'm going to give you a. DUI when I'm done with this dude a lot. of guys get away from Cops I've heard of. a couple people like no I just take off. and it's like I'm surp I thought. everyone gets caught who does that but. yeah people get away yeah a lot of cops.
want you to just um get home safely I. think in the end yeah and sometimes they. gauge on how to do it um that's so funny. just to be like [ __ ] this I'm out of. here you can be a better you in 2024. with Babel the science-backed language. learning app that actually works I've. started using Babel I'm enjoying my time. with it I'm not fluent I'm not even I. don't I even think I could communicate. if I got abducted or anything yet but um. with my captors but one day I'll be able.
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more information go to. forthepeople.com. slash this past weekend or dial pound. law pound 529 from your cell phone. that's fthe. people.com this past weekend or dial. pound law pound 529 from yourself this. is a paid. advertisement so you um so you you and. Shane start the podcast you met in. Philly and Shane you you and Shane start.
the podcast in Philly or in in Philly. yeah Phil in Philly and then he at one. point he went to New York because I had. I like got to the space where I was like. I like podcasting better than standup. because I was just frustrated we're the. same city all the time I'm in. Philadelphia doing the same shows all. the time and I I i' like either host or. feature I think I back then I might have. been featuring I forget but it was like. the same thing I'd meet a headliner. they'd be miserable and I'm like is this. is this my fate like it's just like you. just cuz a lot of the headliners I met. hosting were for real miserable yeah. like very sad very disgruntled and I'd. be like whatever so I got disillusioned.
with stand up and I was like I just want. to do podcasting and then at one point I. was like I want to pursue psychology so. when he went to New York I I went back. and got my masters in social work. because I I did again I was like dude. you Dro back in and got it yeah if I and. it's this is the way my mind works I was. like I want to get back into psychology. what's the easiest way to do it to do. like talk therapy and I looked it up in. social work if you get your Masters then. work under somebody you can get licensed. and open your own practice wow so I went. to school for social work while Shane. was kind of blowing up in New York and.
we're still doing the podcast I still. doing doing what by train or something. every now and then he would come to. Philly back then yeah it was crazy it's. insane because and then eventually I. started driving to New York but for a. while he was coming to Philly every week. and I I was just kind of like okay cool. I didn't I didn't make that drive like. that so when I started driving to New. York I was like dude you were doing this. for two this is insane he did it for a. long time did it for like a year or two. no way yeah man he's the man that is a. hard thing people don't understand that. type of a Comm. that's insane commute I mean how far do. that. commute two hours on a good day and if.
it gets traffic you're kind of like two. hours 30. three yeah it sucks it's a hellish and. it's through the worst parts of New. Jersey like like heavy industrial it. stinks oh yeah dude it's awful it's a. it's for real an awful awful. Drive [ __ ] yeah yeah it's 2 hours and 12. that's like normal that traffic up there. near like the bridges and [ __ ] it and. then you know New York I'm sure you know. you just sit in [ __ ] traffic yeah you. just sitting there [ __ ] furious.
looking at somebody else and that and. that guy's. crying and he calls you a the audacity. dude he had the audacity it's crazy to. call you a it's unbelievable he must. have just laughed like all right man. whatever that guy's got going on. everybody nowadays just calls everybody. a it's like I feel like if you try to do. CPR somebody's dying right and they. like get off me they' rather die they'll. use their last breath these days. especially in New Jersey dude somebody.
will use their last breath to call. somebody a f oh yeah it was yeah I mean. it was that was Heavy dude F was polite. back then that was like you have you. know that was like the handkerchief. around your neck being like you know. that's like that's like kind of this. beautiful but no man he I did I went to. school for social work and then it was. funny because I'm doing it and I was. kind again like confronting the fact. that like oh I can't really be a normal. polite Society cuz you go into like you. drop into like a. like job type place and you feel like an. alien especially the longer you do stand.
up and other things it's like you just. feel out of place so I did it and I. liked it it was cool it was a cool. experience but it was like very uh you. know like Jordan Peterson came out and. was like the schools are out of control. they're losing dude I also would watch a. lot of Jordan Peterson at the time and I. was like I'm kind of curious to see if. that's real so and then when I went back. to school I was like dude he was totally. it was insane just how like um woke they. gotten oh dude it was crazy like you. you'd be in class and a lady for no. reason would just be like Well we'd be. talking about like social issues and. she'd be like I would never call the. cops on a black guy ever and i' sitting.
there and I'm like I couldn't help it. I'd be like ever what if he was beating. up a woman like why ever it's crazy so I. would get in a lot of those kind of. arguments in school and then and I'll. even text the cops if I'm even meeting a. black ey sometimes the what I'll text. the cops you true like yo just say you. know yeah FYI meeting a couple Brothers. see I'll keep you. updated well dude it was crazy I went. there and they were just you know was. that kind of stuff and I'm like all. right keep your head down and chill but. I couldn't help it I kept like arguing. with people in in class it was kind of.
fun honestly and then uh it dude it's. there like 24 year olds being like this. is what I think and you be like that's. what you [ __ ] you could just smash. them yeah that's what you [ __ ] think. I [ __ ] that ice cream paa yeah dude. you don't know [ __ ] about the world [ __ ]. ever [ __ ] broken your heart in. somebody. else's but no then I I did that and then. Shane got the SNL thing right at the. tail end of my schooling and were you. bummed about that or excited I was. pumped I was [ __ ] I've always been. stoked like that but the when he got. when he got the SNL I was like hell yeah.
and he goes buckle up they're going. through the podcast I was like I didn't. know what he was talking about I'm like. yeah whatever it's not that bad and then. they that whole thing blew up so I was. like in school like because I I would. get mentioned in by lines of like. podcast with and nobody put it together. until very towards the very end a girl. in my class had read the article and was. like that's you and they Tred to kick me. out of school that guy hates Chinese. people or whatever yeah they and and all. the proof was you know I had been. arguing against their you know in my.
idea you know it's kind of like. unrealistic liberal value so I'd been. like you guys don't know [ __ ] about. anything [ __ ] that [ __ ] and I'd been. arguing the flip side of their coin the. entire time so when they saw that. they're like Bingo and they try to kick. me out and we had a Smoking Gun dud yeah. they got me but it was like I and then I. I had to stay it was honestly one of my. favorite experiences ever I had to go. before the board of the school and I got. to do one of those like trial by oh. that's cool man just other adults D it's. I've been looking forward to that it's. like you know suit no I just wore my. regular clothes but it's like that Court. fantasy where you get to like do your.
represent yourself in court open your. briefcase nothing in. there so I had to have that exp two. waters in there two fijes so I got to do. that and then uh no and then it was just. like I I finished you know covid. happened so like everything kind of just. chilled we finished the last month or so. online anyway so it was like yeah that. was cool did you believe in Co or not at. the time no I I didn't do I didn't my. whole family didn't either like my mom. was like like let's hang outside that. one time and then after that she was. like come inside there's a bull none of. my family got vaccinated like none of my.
mom my uncles nobody got it except for. like anyone who worked in the medical. field dude I had a buddy broke into with. CVS and got like 30 inoculations dude he. was addicted to um inoculations or. whatever dude this [ __ ] hasn't. had a sniffle in like six years dude. he's good he's set oh this guy yeah I. was just sketched out by the whole thing. I was like dude it's new I'm like I'm. already I'm like a hyper contri as it is. is and I'm like I'm way less scared of. viruses than like medical intervention I. don't first I didn't think it was real.
yeah but then I'm like oh people are. really dying so there must be something. real but then also it seemed like that. they messed up and killed a lot of. people with respirators that would not. have died yeah I remember hearing about. that yeah I got did you get it I don't. know if I got it or not I remember I. couldn't smell for about 11 months but I. don't know but oh yeah and I had the. antibodies when I went to Rogan one time. I got tested I had had the antibodies so. I must have had it that's tight yeah. probably got it at some point but yeah I. I got it I got rocked but it was only. for like two days it was a bad fever and.
then I coughed up like weird liquids for. like a month and I was fine so my wife. was pregnant at the time so I'm like. your wife was pregnant she was pregnant. so then it was kind of a medical. experiment like should I get it and like. I'm like I don't know what the [ __ ] is. so we were all just like dude let's just. chill take chill let's get the [ __ ]. anti bodies and just and you have um I. have met you have a darker wife yeah. pretty much yeah safe to say that safe. to say yeah yeah um beautiful lady very. Charming um Bridget is that her name uh.
Britney Britney yeah Britney is that her. name. yeah um yeah was that did that and did. like just growing up in Philly lead you. to that you think dude I don't. chocolatey bride kind of I've since I. was a little kid it's almost there's my. only theory is cuz in grade school I. like dated a Mexican lady I I and I've. dated everybody I've dat it you know. like white ladies everything but that. was definitely you know that was.
something I was drawn to or black women. forever but my only theory is my mom was. like super Christian she still is super. Catholic so she blocked like MTV VH1 all. the music channels except for bet. because she didn't know it existed so. that was the only music channel I had. grown up so as in my formative years I. just watched rap video after rap video. and I think it might have had some sort. of effect yeah so that's better have my. money um that's yeah wow that's so. interesting dude yeah dude I remember I.
made love to a woman who was pretty much. black right and uh yeah it was. definitely there was like more in the um. muscle or something I don't know it. could yeah you felt you were impressed. by the experence what you say pretty. much she was like what she said she was. black I believed her true true you know. I'm not yeah I'm not [ __ ] looking at. paperwork or whatever I'm not [ __ ]. Pro you know yeah wo bracelet was like. you know it pops up on there yeah I just.
you know what for me I I they definitely. won out for me as well they won my heart. collectively they won my heart yeah I. just I don't know what it was man it was. just like yeah you like what you like. you know oh yeah I think I was afraid. probably of black girls growing up they. had a lot of the black girls in our town. and stuff would get Knocked Up by the. black guys at a young age yeah so all of. our black girls disappeared at around 13. years old and got pregnant yeah come. back and then they come back and they're. just different or they just like um yeah.
they have a child now or they have like. baby milk on their shoulder or whatever. um and also I think they had to defend. themselves against like a like black. like dudes in their town or whatever. that were like trying to you know get. with them when they were young so I. think they were more into the whole like. communicating with guys's nature so I. think like a lot of times they would um. like they were just more advanced like. the black kids in our school were more. sexually Advanced they just had sex.
earlier and stuff so I think that was. intimidating the black girls were. intimidating because they had more. experience yeah it's funny sometimes do. talk to a black gu he like I got head. when I was 10 you're like what like like. for. real sorry dude it's okay this place. just went out of business we're. good it's true you do hear that a lot. you're not wrong sorry you're fine it is. crazy yeah when you're bro if somebody. put my wiener okay that God made for me.
that I kept in my pants for him if. somebody put that in their mouth when I. was 10 years old dude oh my God I would. have fre oh I would have lit a fire in. her yard and made smoke signal it's over. D for God to come help us there's no. it's over it's over it would I would I. don't know how it's crazy I would have. hit him with a wrench or something I. just that would have scared me so much. so that's what's so but yeah so that was. kind of crazy sorry I don't if I spit on. you or not but. iar um yeah that yeah that that that.
that kind of stuff's pretty crazy and. then um I know I get the intimidation. factor I do get but I I always uh. whenever I I like will see people and I. always just assume I always see like. softer sides of it's something I've had. my whole life where I I can see like. kind of like I don't know I always can. see people softer nature cuz people. present one way then you're like with. them and it's like it's a totally. different thing oh I would marry a black. lady I believe or semi black or whatever. for sure off black I mean there's so. many I mean I've long been of the belief.
that um we're going to it's it's a beige. future right in four generations. everybody's going to be beige yeah. everybody that's still alive whatever we. all going to be beige Bitcoins um true. you know that will have no sense of. Faith or hope anymore but that's where. we'll be true um at least we'll be able. to text each other online true so I. think I think we might be in for like a. massive Spiritual Awakening though it's. coming well there's rumbling I can I. detect Rumblings of it I like that.
attitude man um there was one thing I. was going to say uh what were we just. talking about um being married having. black. wife um oh uh yeah I would date a black. woman I would marry a black woman um I. would date a black woman dude I would. probably maybe marry a black woman you. know like I don't I think when I was a. kid I thought that that wasn't real. possibility or anything that makes sense. but as an adult I see that oh that's a. possibility like I think also just from.
where I was from they didn't have like a. lot of interracial dating at the time. you know it was it was even like you. know I lived in like the I lived in the. Philadelphia suburb so it was like very. very very white where I was growing up. but like even in college uh some of my. friends would come up to me and be like. that's crazy dude they like couldn't. wrap their head around it it wasn't like. a hateful thing they're just like it was. just a mindblower they'd be like bro. it's it's crazy the funny thing to me. though is like black dudes are always. like hey man you scared to date a black. chick and I'm like you aren't dating a.
black. chick every [ __ ] black dude isn't. dating the black chick but the first. thing they say is oh you scared of some. of that black chick they get hyped on. you when they see you with a black chick. they'll get hyped and then sometimes. they'll be like you're an easy target I. can kind of like I'll [ __ ] with you or. or they'll do like a hard checkout on. your babe you have to just go nuts you. got you got to go white boy crazy yeah. so if they do like a damn you have to be. like the [ __ ] is your [ __ ] you have. to spaz cuz you can't you can't tolerate. that so you I've gone white boy crazy a. couple times yeah you're like I'm over.
here doing your job [ __ ] Okay. well dude apparently black women and. Asian men are the uh like Asian women. tend to date outside the race a lot. black men date outside the race a lot. but black women and Asian men tend to. not date outside their race a lot so. like the Yin and Yang Twins or whatever. like what are you saying no they're. they're just so black and Asian do not. date well black men will date outside. their race where traditionally black. women tend to not date outside their. race oh wow so it's just that and Asian. women date white guys a lot but a lot of. Asian men don't date outside of the race. so it kind of like [ __ ] you up in the.
dating pool yeah so but yeah but I think. black women are coming around though but. yeah they were they were uh fiercely. loyal it it's still you get a little. people are uh you know it does some. people don't like it obviously you know. you get people are like big into like. black love where they're like it's not. the same and I'm like whatever man. that's your thing yeah it's not yeah but. yeah it's not your fault exactly it's I. don't I don't feel any kind of way about. it but it's just like you know celebrate. that if you want that's fine you know. but it's like dude I remember the first. time I like even like I was working out. with a buddy of mine a black guy right.
and he like touched my hand he was. helping spot me or something and I was. like damn i' never even touched a black. dude's hand or nothing they have. beautiful nails too dude there's like a. there's like a level of like black. coolness where you grow one pinky nail. long so you can crack a blunt with your. long pinky nail it's pretty sick wow. yeah it's like it was like a evolution. of the coke nail but you can kind of. just oh that's cool yeah you just crack. a blunt with a long oh be black. definitely there's a lot of parts that. seem super fun about it and then there's. some parts and I'm kind of like man. that's that part that is not for me I. couldn't handle that it's definitely I.
think it's easier than a black dude. dating a white chick because everyone's. just kind of like you know people just. people just kind of like first when you. first meet him will like kind of giggle. and be like oh you like you know oh you. like black girl you know [ __ ] like that. and like kind of Dap You Up and you're. like sweet whereas like I feel like the. black maybe it's different now but back. in the day like being a black dude at. like a white family party there was. definitely some uncles hitting you with. like icicles in the eyes just at like. what you doing over there I had my one. friend was a black dude and he was he. was dating a white chick and he said. like her brother would ask him like.
weird [ __ ] being like what do you think. he would get drunk and be like like we. should he was a wrestler like let's. wrestle right now he'd be like bro chill. man like we don't have to do this yeah. yeah it was so dude's gay probably but I. think black dudes aren't threatened by. white dudes as much as white dudes might. be threatened by black guys well yeah. because they don't have to be because. they can always beat up white dudes yeah. bigger dicks statistically bigger dicks. can beat you up some a rumor first to. all I've heard but yeah a lot of the. ones on the internet. yes they've done condom sizing studies.
and like it's it's not as much of a. difference as you think but there's. there's a difference dude the last thing. I would want to have is some big old. long dick bothering me all day dude I. hear you on that I'm high and tight I'm. ready for action I'm ready for action at. all I'm ready for action at all times oh. I'm [ __ ] I got that John Stockton. homie dude you I'm saying I'll help you. out bro I'll try to assist you and. whatever you're. headed I'm here dude I'm ready to run.
I'm in sport mode what was I just going. to ask about yeah is there's well. there's a lot there's definitely some. white Comics married to black women I. think TJ Miller I believe um Gary Owens. Gary Owens yeah um who else there's you. Bill Burr bill yeah Bill Burr Bill Maher. Bill Mah's married to a black lady oh he. loves. dating it's crazy he loves. uh that was a head-to-head that was a. black wife head-to-head Bill Mah and. Bill Burr they were both dressed pretty. good too they both were black wife.
affected and they got they argued over. like there was Israel and Palestine oh. they did yeah they it was like a [ __ ]. viral clip really let's hear it they. [ __ ] F it's kind of funny let's hear. it no ruthless what is black wife. affected let me get that and then let's. watch the clip okay Nick just when you. start dressing better cuz your wife's. black and they they really don't. tolerate like if you're not dressed well. like they'll I I fought along I'm I hold. it down you know I still wear kind of. like bum stuff but they'll they'll wear. on you yeah black people like to look. nice yeah it's important it's very. important and like and at weddings it's.
the opposite like you have to dance if. you don't dance at a wedding people are. like what the [ __ ] your problem really. white wedding you sit in a chair the. whole time oh yeah it's a lot of. pressure to dance yeah you can gamble on. your phone even you can do whatever you. want yeah you're like I am ja you know. but you're just so gist or whatever you. can't help but yell it um look at these. guys let's see what happens here I mean. dude demonstrating for Hamas they are in. with the terrorist they were for the. Palestinians well it's sort of the same.
cause why are you um I'm on the side of. the kids yeah that's easy to say you. know no one wants to see kids dead uh. this is a war very brave of you to say. that this is this is a war. nove on this uh yourself on the back. it's easy to say I'm for the kids who's. not for the kids it comes down to real. hard knows decisions like a country stop. talking like you're a general a country. got attacked Israel got attacked I'm not.
saying that they didn't have a right to. go back I'm just sitting there going. like how do I look at what they're the. only country in the world that they get. attacked and then as soon as they. Counterattack it's like well we got to. stop this [ __ ] now don't attack them. there's a very simple solution to all. this problem in the Middle East stop. attacking Israel hey you just stop. attacking Israel Sol it I actually there. you go that's fantastic anyway all right. need to get this was the whole episod of. f how do you solve that one bill let me. hear your hard-nosed decision I think.
some of that's [ __ ] because I think. some of the people they. are I don't know it feels like they had. to elect the Hamas because they don't. have any other choice yeah true but I. guess you always have a choice in who. you elect yeah I don't think also I. don't think you can go against I don't. think you can you vocally oppose Hamas. in palestin that's a good question it. might be kind of risky I don't know. that's the thing the worst part is this. will be on some historical record and we. don't know how it'll play out we could. be like basically on either side. promoting the Nazis and you know what.
I'm saying right yeah you don't know the. Long play of it you know but to me it's. like if somebody says free a place. that's the place that needs to be freed. usually know what I'm saying you don't. hear free Israel I've said this before. you don't hear free uh Kentucky you. don't hear free um America you're. starting you're kind of hearing a little. but you don't hear you know you hear. free Cuba you hear free palestin if. that's the chance it's like that's. usually the place that needs to be free. right yeah that's a fair point that's a. uh that's that's a tough one to be like.
well hold on a second what are they up. to yeah it it feels bad right be like. what do they do I don't know my heart. just tells me and I don't know my. heart's I'm rehe harded but um my heart. just tells me that it's just unfair. that's what it feels like to me but then. I don't know a lot about it I got to get. some people on that no more I mean I. think the war is totally unfair they're. getting they're they're totally. unmatched I mean dude imagine if you're. were fighting somebody and then someone. gave you 90. billion you're going to crush them so.
yeah yeah I don't know why we're funding. that I know that's my one point of. contention where it's like but then. they'll go well we need them there. because they help stabilize the region. blah blah blah blah but it's like dude. 90 bill it's [ __ ] up they're fine. they're good yeah they're they're set up. but again it's like yeah I don't [ __ ]. know but they uh that's the one thing. that disheartened me because they passed. that new bill was like 90. billion well they're using Biden as a. [ __ ] human marry go round or whatever. that dude's over there like my son got M. my son was a fourstar general at a.
Arby's you know and black guy at the. swimming pool stabbed my son you know. he's like what the [ __ ] is he even. talking about dude he sounds like. outakes from a [ __ ] Larry David. episode what dude he's we were talking. about it yesterday on our podcast where. he's uh RFK Jr was like dude I don't I. forget the time span but if if there's a. nuclear threat in the middle of the. night they got to wake Joe Biden up and. he's got like maybe 30 seconds to make a.
call how [ __ ] up is that how. terrifying is that he's got to walk down. a hallway and be like what's going on. from sleep and be like this is what. we're doing oh my God I hope that's not. the case there has to be people in the. White House being like bro chill we'll. do it relax there's no way that guy's. making a decision there's no way that. guy is doing anything imagine him trying. to eat this what I imagine a lot him. trying to eat a piece of um craft.
singles. cheese there should be footage of that. like dude prove it open one of those. yeah that's the lius test if you can't. successfully open eat and swallow a. craft single you can't then you're. [ __ ] out of here my guy no nuclear. codes at all yeah you're out of here and. everybody's always like the nuclear. codes the nuclear codes are the algorith. of the internet those are the [ __ ]. nuclear codes that are killing our our. our humanity and our being it feels like.
yeah um yeah it's pretty bad do you guys. have children yeah we have kids yeah we. two little kids to your father is this. uh I thought I was getting lumped in. with Biden I was like yeah we I think we. both have kids yeah no no yeah have a. father I have two daughters two little. kids uh one will be two in a couple. weeks and a four-year-old wow yeah it's. it's the best it is yeah it's very very. taxing and it's uh but it it really is. the best they really you you hear a lot. of guys when they have kids they get all. like crazy they're like dude if there. was a button right now that I had to hit.
to kill myself at her I'd [ __ ] hit it. and kill myself it's you don't have to. go that hard yeah dude that's chill out. dude you're a manager first of all at a. Jimmy John's okay oh that's your family. right there yeah that's my family oh. dang those girls are cute huh they're. cuties man that's so cool but yeah so. when you're when you're a dad or your. parent I guess in general it's like you. live your whole life for yourself before. you have kids you're just you know every. single person is just narcissistically. self-obsessed it it's just the way we. are yeah I am everybody no every single. person is when people like I'm not it's.
like yes you are oh so it's something. you don't even realize till you have a. child you mean well it's it's like I I. think so hopefully you realize if you. don't realize it that can be it can be. tough but it's like and it's not to like. it's not a put down or a slam it's like. as an organism we have to be primarily. obsessed with ourselves oh it'd be. really weird if I was taking care of. some kids that weren't mine that's what. I'm saying like it just just as a person. like if there's a dangerous situ our. bodies are designed to preserve. ourselves. then when you have Aid you start that.
drive gets frustrated and over and over. on a daily basis and you either like. come to grips with that and like. reorient yourself around stuff outside. of yourself or I think it just explodes. your brain and you just completely fail. yeah it's pretty tough It's a pretty. tough job but it's it's the best dude. waking up every morning it become every. morning now is like it's the same thing. over and over like the kids wake up you. get them breakfast and it for me it put. me on like a nice schedule cuz cuz I was. just kind of floating around so damn. it's cool did you plan on um having a.
baby or was it a surprise yeah we were. like both like [ __ ] it let's have a kid. it wasn't like super planned out but we. were like we weren't trying not to and. then she got pregnant I was like oh [ __ ]. [ __ ] and it's it's just like and at the. um do you yeah does it feel like you. have mixed kids you just feel just have. children it's suppos we have kids you. don't really we don't really like cuz. then when you have kids you get kids. books so you get like different kid. books now there's been a lot of like. political and racial ideology that's. been pumped into kids books some not all.
of it's bad some of it's like you know. love your hair [ __ ] like that right then. you get like some political stuff so. like I've been kind of like I'll like. screen out some of the books if they're. like too political I'll just like show. them pictures like oh look at this lady. yeah like Horton he is a Harriet Tubman. or whatever and you're like yeah this. feels a little yeah it's like yeah. anything that's like overtly super. political I'm just like you know I'm. like I'm not I I'll just like point to. the pictures and make up a story and you. know it's like say they're they're. little kids you don't have to like yeah. you just don't I don't like I'm not like. against people knowing that stuff it's.
just like dude this kid's trying to. figure out like squares and circles they. don't need to like comprehend like right. systemic inequalities yet they can get. that that'll be later right it's just. it's anti-racist baby that book is crazy. feminist baby's crazy feminist baby's. kind of crazy too that's feminist babies. are pretty crazy oh yeah it's feminist. dude it's a baby dude we can't even make. it yeah babies are initially obsessed. with the mother too they have to be bro. it's a survival yeah it's a survival if. some gay baby came over trying to slurp. on my chest dude I'd [ __ ] put him to.
bed early true I would put that [ __ ]. fat McNugget to bed early dude the crazy. thing about being a babies you can be as. fat as you want and people [ __ ] love. you dude it's almost like the Yokozuna. in Japan you know yeah true that's. actually that's a fair point but. actually people love fat babies man just. babies women squeeze their cheeks and. like man you're so fat women are crazy. too cuz when you have a kid they like. the smell of their baby poop I've heard. this from multiple women like it smells.
like buttered popcorn and dude it's so. gross it's disgusting but no having kids. is cool man it's it's like it'll it. definitely for me at least it kind of. rocked me to the foundation on one level. but then you're still your normal self. but you're just hyper aware cuz like I. used to have an anger problem like I. would [ __ ] break glasses oh I was so. bad what do you think it was from I have. an anger problem we have an anger guy. coming on in a couple weeks do you. really yeah I don't dude don't know I. mean I can go into depth I think I I. could Venture a guess that was like.
sometimes in households there's like. certain emotions aren't on display and. anger can certainly become a Primary. Emotion if you're like in a household. where people aren't exactly talking and. sharing feelings everything gets bottled. up so then every feeling gets channeled. into anger eventually so it just becomes. like you just becomes natural to you. just to [ __ ] spaz so I was just a. spaz I don't know I come from a long. line of ir spazzes so I would just like. especially like you know in the early. stages of our relationship you get into. those like those arguments where you're. just like I don't you get so disoriented. cuz you're like I don't know if I'm.
right I don't know if I'm wrong and you. just start to spazz and I would be doing. the dishes and just be like like smash. your glass but then like yeah once you. have like that kind of [ __ ] has to stop. once you have kids or you can just keep. going and terrify them so you got to. like you know I'd have to like really I. had to rain that in I would break their. heart too dude it' just be so scary dude. it's so as I can remember as a kid like. seeing your parents yell was like [ __ ]. dude just was shitty my dad yeah was. like he was so old he was probably when. I finally could get a good look at him. he was probably about 76 damn and he.
would. um he would drink sometimes and he would. like put his Park his car like in the. ditch outside of our house yeah it's not. a good look when you see that car in the. ditch you're like [ __ ] we thought it was. so funny dude and dude one time our aunt. came to visit and she was like 91 years. old dude it was my dad's history we had. never even seen anybody this [ __ ]. really she just rolled up yeah she came. to visit I think she was 90 or 91 and we.
were just like what is going on that's. wild he couldn't even talk to us damn so. how old was your dad when he had you he. was 70 he was an older guy but it was. just it was so bizarre she couldn't even. talk to us and but she painted us some. pictures I remember that's kind of cool. it was really nice of her she painted. like wild flowers from I think. Mississippi or something that's pretty. that's nice yeah it was very sweet of. her but yeah to answer your question. that was kind of it like you just you. get kind of like you just if you see. spazzing you're like yeah this is just. how I handle stuff and then you just. start spazzing and then like you know if.
you don't learn how to like logically. processed whatever that surge of emotion. is it's just like I'm going to [ __ ]. spaz I still I'm still guilty of it yeah. like I'll like kick if we have like a. empty paper bag I'll [ __ ] everyone. leaves I'll just [ __ ] kick kick it as. hard as kick that [ __ ] too I. also stopped talking I was talking to my. dogs real mean too I would like I'd walk. my dogs and they yank my arm i' be like. you [ __ ] knock it off and I had. to like damn chill with that I can't do. that but yeah I was amazing huh well. dude you get your shoulder yanked it's. like my dogs are like 60 lbs yeah no.
Yanks your shoulder and you're not. expecting it it's like it it is the most. infuriating thing but then if someone. sees you doing that they're like this gu. in my house it was like it was on you. could hit dogs in my house it was like. just we that's where we were at like oh. yeah Philly kid got beat dog country. yeah kids you're bad you got hit if the. dog was bad of course the dog got hit. too so I like thought it was normal to. hit dogs and I learned that it's not so. dude dogs used to patrol our. neighborhood attack kids attack people. male. people.
gys everybody dude they would bite. everybody dude um what let's watch the. rest of that birthing did we watch his. part I want to see what he said back or. just see what he said I want to see what. he said solution to all this problem in. the Middle East stop attacking Israel. you stop attacking Israel it I actually. you go that's fantastic anyway all right. need get let go let's let's go to Russia. and the Ukraine how do you solve that. one bill let me hear your hard-nosed. decision about that well let me ask you.
a question how how is war still legal. all the [ __ ] that's been canel legal why. is that still [ __ ] would you like a. real answer to that I stole answer by. the way for something to be illegal you. have to have the capacity to enforce it. and you can't enforce against war or. else you have to go to war with the. country that's going to war and we don't. want to go to war with Russia over. Ukraine what would be sense of making it. illegal or that's really going to stop. Putin no to stop people from going to. war you have to also put boots can't sit.
down and talk it out do a why can't. Putin do a podcast with the head guy. like you just solved the Middle East on. a podcast why can't they solve what. they're doing on a podcast this is why. this is not your thing some. Hardis not your thing it's what you it. is M it isn't your thing is you're like. that guy that has a fantasy football. team and thinks he's a [ __ ] GM ah no. that's exactly what it is like why am I. [ __ ] listening to you like like. you've done. something that's hilarious yeah Bill Mar.
hasn't done [ __ ] dude he was super woke. and then he pandered when he realized. his audience was leaving he definitely. got more C you think that's what it was. he I certainly think that to him it was. a financial thing that he got way more C. cuz I started seeing like he was like. every all these idiots are wrong you're. taking horse medicine or whatever and. then you've certainly seen him come back. over to the other side he flipped big. time I mean I was delighted to see him. flip like that but I get what you're. saying if you if you start getting. enough Hate Now you can just like. measure in real time you see it and.
you're like oh [ __ ] these guys all dude. if you go on YouTube almost every. comment is like [ __ ] this some gradient. of like you know whether it's Trump or. like almost 80% of comments are like. Trump rules it's like mostly for some. reason like conservative people. commenting I don't know if it's like. Bots or what yeah it's like if you were. to watch that clip actually I think I. did read that a lot of people were. slamming Mar being like what a smug. [ __ ] blah yeah I just my mom never. liked him and she never really said. anything to me but I remember her saying. that once my mom doesn't like Bill Maher. at all I don't like Bill.
Maher he doesn't seem respectful to. women that's what I remember she said to. me that's fair that's I think that's. fair for her to say especially back in. the you know yeah I don't know I've. never met him you know I just know uh no. I haven't either I'm just joking but no. I I just know he did flip-flop hard I. remember just being I I was delighted I. was like yes it was funny yeah cuz you. needed some ho every host was. all like really it seemed like not uh. they just all had the same exact plan it. was like remember when they played that. video dude that was crazy when all.
talking at once all talking about every. channel talking about the same thing it. was like at a certain point you can't. think we all think we just live in some. like people are going to notice yeah. right and it almost seems like we're so. dumb we didn't that was [ __ ] up man. that like for that bugged me out and is. this a real video this a real thing I. think so I mean that'd be crazy to fake. that Fox San Antonio's Jessica Headley. and I'm Ryan wolf our our greatest. responsibility is to serve our Treasure. Valley communities the El Paso lasus.
communities Eastern Iowa communities Mid. Michigan communities we are extremely. proud of the quality balanced journalism. that cbs4 news produces but we. concons our country plaguing our country. the sharing of biased and false news has. become all too common on social media. more alarming some media Outlets publish. these same fake stories without checking. facts first the sharing of biased and. false false news has become all too.
common on social media I. mean they definitely have a script. people are writing scripts well it's. just they're all owned by the same three. or four companies now it's like it's. like um it's the same reason why it's. everything's just kind of the same it's. like it's all Panera Brad it's just the. same seven companies own everything of. course so when people are finally like. you can't just expect that people don't. have some thing inside of them that. detects. what when something is inauthentic I.
think and that's the last piece of you. probably to go is that part of you that. yeah well I think the I think people. underestimate the vast majority of. people and it's like a tough thing to. think about just really don't think for. themselves that much yeah it's I think. it's true and then it's like you know. you can really just kind of pump a. message out and it'll AG it'll land with. a huge majority of people I mean they. figur this out I think it was Bernay was. it was like Freud's nephew did that. whole book propaganda and they like. studied this and like dude you can. convince people of anything Freud's. nephew must have been balling too.
because yeah yeah he's like my uncle's. [ __ ] Freud dude he must have been. smashing dude yeah dude apparently he. convinced women to smoke cigarettes. women didn't smoke cigarettes until. there was a company that was like we got. to drive up our sales and he like he's. like I got it and he just had like a. famous actress smoke a cigarette at a. parade wow and cigarette sales women. just [ __ ] spiked it's crazy that is. crazy dude I wish they wouldn't smoke. yeah man Armageddon. dude um good for berer speaking up. though at least berer going after uh.
Bill Mah yeah it it was funny he's he's. very he's very entertaining with all. that stuff like what are you a [ __ ]. General it's like [ __ ] that's funny. perfect line to a general. yeah but yeah apparently he was like. nasty though he did it the whole time. bir did yeah apparently yeah they had. like a super cut of just him just. [ __ ] leveling him the entire time so. tough and you know especially Bill Mah. like you were saying he's I don't think. he's equipped for that kind of cut fight. really cuz he's like going into like the.
issues that you know from his. perspective like let's talk about this. from a macro perspective in burs like. you're a [ __ ] loser you're like [ __ ]. [ __ ] dude godamn it. dude God bur is [ __ ] incredible dude. he's funny as [ __ ] he's one of none dude. yeah that's how rare he is he's nasty as. [ __ ] but yeah he he crushed him man he's. yeah he he's a big Co guy too I noticed. that he became he was like number one Co. guy who Bill Mah Bill Burr Bill Burr he. was Pro covid well yeah proo Pro Mass.
proax you know which is his prerogative. whatever yeah but but at least he's a. free thinker he's able to think for both. sides of things it's not always just one. side of things oh yeah he know he does. he does a good job with that him on his. appearances on Conan were really funny. and Co like I didn't know if it was real. at first but then when people were dying. I was like oh something's really going. on here and then people I started to. know got sick cuz first it just came. from the news you like people are. getting this thing it was kind of. invisible you couldn't really see it. yeah you know um we had like a baa.
before that we we had a couple of little. things but they were like this is it but. I remember just looking at the stats and. being like I don't think I have to worry. about this that was my only gripe about. it it's like dude you could have like. preserved the elderly let the obese. chill and anyone who was like younger. and not like had empyema should have. been able to just do their thing the. entire time yeah they were like hide. your fat friends and everything they. were like making all these crazy rules. dude my friend um would go and get his. get his groceries delivered in his yard. have the guy set him out there he would.
go out there with a [ __ ] pressure. washer and pressure wash his [ __ ]. groceries dude yeah that's crazy in a. hazmat suit I'm like dude you are a. [ __ ] dude I would rather die next to a. couple things of ripped crackers in. front of my son then ever see him let me. hazmat suit down dude some miracle Whip. and some [ __ ] um um Banas oatmeal. squares dude and that was a crazy thing. cuz I had we had I had my first daughter.
right at the beginning of covid so we. were in school and like the parents were. make trying to make the kids like dude. [ __ ] two-year-olds there's like a day. care like early childhood education. trying to make them wear masks all day. and it was like bro give it up they're. not keeping these on all day and also. for a 2-year-old who's virtually zero. risk you're going to tell them in their. formative years like there's a giant. virus and we're all die like dude let. them chill. they're you can tell them like people. are getting sick but like dude they were. mask on all the times and where is the. virus now dude that's a thing it's.
[ __ ] gone bro exactly it's you don't. hear about it people the max cards that. [ __ ] didn't T like what was that for for. now and now the people that have it they. don't know if might get sick and you. know now that I believe you can't trust. I don't know I I don't want to go down. the road I just think people hear so. much of it they're probably sick hearing. yeah I mean also it's a throwback now. but yeah they were funny too because. they were just a piece of paper yeah you. could just fake them like and there was. no penalty for f if you faked one. there's no criminal penalty I I don't. think four fake ones dude yeah I got.
into different countries on fake. ones because they would just look at it. I have a picture on my phone be like. here it is and they'd be like cool man. I'm like this is [ __ ]. ridiculous so dumb man um what else. happened in the news guys let me see uh. Peru classified transgender nonb binary. and interex people as mentally ill Peru. wow what did they say why that's a good. question I mean Peru is a Christian.
Nation I do know that but not saying. that justifies it I'm just laying that. groundwork uh the controversial decision. was made to ensure the country's Public. Health Services could guarantee full. coverage of medical attention for mental. health for the trans Community Peruvian. Health Ministry explained that makes. sense in order to Bill insurance you. have to it has to be a mental like some. sort of mental disorder oh so it's a. help kind nice they did a kind of a nice. thing being gay wasn't straight up. mental disorder in the 70s it was listed. in the book that was like that there's a. book that's called the DSM that has. every mental disorder and every year.
people have to argue like what's still. one what isn't like how you know blah. blah blah but yeah being gay in like the. 70s was like a metal like a clinical. metal metal sort I mean it had to seem. like it if you think about it imagine. you're hanging out somewhere right yeah. and you're just sitting there with your. buddy or something you're watching like. um the Cubs or something watching Andre. doson and your buddy keeps [ __ ]. putting his hand on your leg right yeah. true and you tell him like you know hey. Mark what's up your hand keeps moving. over here is something wrong with your.
elbow is something wrong with your. shoulder yeah you have to call 911 is. something wrong with your bicep and he's. like no I'm. fine and it keeps happening and then it. starts rubbing on your chest or whatever. you're like this. dude doesn't understand that something's. wrong with you you're going to think. then that he's mentally disabled true. it's a fair point it's actually a fair. point yeah even he would probably think. it in the beginning he'd be like some. guys I'm sure were like the hell what is. going on could you imagine oh God 50s. being like I just want to suck my boss's. dick so bad yeah you there's no one in.
the world you could turn to and be like. look man I want to suck my boss's dick. more than anything every like get the. [ __ ] out of here right now people would. beat your ass yeah or people would just. be like dud you're crazy that's uh you. would have to think you're crazy cuz if. you didn't even know about being gay. imagine you never even heard about being. gay yeah you just seen your parents and. suddenly you're being gay right yeah. dude or you look at like your brother. your neighbor your male neighbor God. damn and you just like kind of start.
[ __ ] feeling some type of way about. him yeah man like a candle for no. reason it must have been crazy that. would I I've never envied that man they. used to do lobotomies um to UNG gay. people they used to do yeah they would. do lobotomies thinking that it could. help them damn um cut the gay part out. but so actually they did it on it was a. positive thing that article made it. sound like it was negative huh yeah see. I could be wrong but that's what it. sounded like in order for them to get. help or like if they want to something.
you can bill is that right neck are we. in the right field here of it yeah I. think Matt's right and I but I do think. people are just running with the. headline and being like Peru's Peru's. [ __ ] up yeah yeah and then like the. conservative side's like [ __ ] yeah Peru. right people will just read the headline. that'll be it and the conserv like [ __ ]. yeah Peru um who was that speaker they. had a guy who was speaking yesterday it. was the kicker from um Harrison bucker. yeah you see this this was going. around he was speaking at a Catholic.
School Benedict College congratulations. on an amazing accomplishment you should. be proud of all that you have achieved. to this point in your young lives I want. to speak directly to you briefly because. I think it is you the women who have had. the most diabolical lies told to you how. many of you are sitting here now about. to cross this stage and are thinking. about all the promotions and titles you. are going to get in your career some of. you may go on to lead successful careers. in the world but I would venture to. Guess that the majority of you are most.
excited about your marriage and the. children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife. Isabelle would be the first to say that. her life truly started when she began. living her vocation as a wife and as a. mother I'm on this stage today and able. to be the man I am because I have a wife. who leans into her vocation I'm Beyond. blessed with the many talents God has. given me but it cannot be. overstated that all of My Success is.
made possible because a girl I met in B. Class back in middle. school would convert to the faith you. love middle school huh become wife and. embrace one of the important titles of. all D Homemaker. okay it's a kind of a sweet heartfelt. thing it's just like he may have he. should might have you know ran that by. it's a I think it's a nice sentiment. that he's trying to go for but it's also. like. dude well he's.
yeah he's. saying that well first of all I do do I. wonder if our school does it look at hom. making because we live a lot of people. are divorced now people are raised with. only one parent you know my mother had. to work all the time you know your dad. so then your mom has to do both jobs or. your dad has to do both jobs a lot of. times if you're not able to see both. parents. um it's not a safe place for even an. animal to be raised with a single parent. yeah and we promote it it feels like a.
lot with our society dude it's. impossible they used to do that social. work school like there's no difference. between having a single parent and two. it's like yeah what the [ __ ] are you. talking about so different gigantic. difference it's dude it'd be impossible. if I had to raised kids by myself it's. it's for real it's you can't it's hard. to do I'm not going to say you can't do. it but it's like it is so [ __ ] hard. it's crazy so yeah I don't think that. this I definit. understand where this that a Christian. College is Benedictine it sounds a. Christian okay so it's not that crazy.
right my thing it's it's kind of. like I I do feel like you know people do. hear hate hearing this but I there is. some truth to that in terms of like I I. do think it's a I I just feel sad if if. a woman does like gets all like you know. has a jammed in her head that she has to. like rise at a Fortune 500 company and. slowly is like damn I kind of wish I had. like having kids is more meaningful than. being like an insurance sales you know. what I'm like in terms of experience so. yeah I feel like it's like it's a thing. women have it's an insecurity that if.
they don't work they're somehow have. been brainwashed into like some old like. you know outdated value system that like. they should fight against it but you. know in reality I do think that a lot of. women you know would probably like to. not be at their job and like you know be. at home doing stuff it's a [ __ ] it is. a job it's a massive insane undertaking. well there a job that's being that's not. getting done right now yeah it feels. like in our country yeah cuz it's almost. like a PO like dude women like they're.
allergic to like minivans like if you. show a woman a minivan they'll spaz like. I never drive that then they'll drive. like a crossover which is just a [ __ ]. minivan in Disguise you can't tell them. it's a minivan though you can't they'll. spaz but there there is something almost. even at night a crossover kind of like. takes its [ __ ] sides off and minivan. pops out as a cigarette God but yeah. again it's uniform all day yeah I would. never tell a woman like you can't work. do whatever you want of course well I. also think some of it is an over like. there was a time where women like um. were abused in the workplace they were.
taken advantage of they were used for. sex to get promotions they were promised. promotions and not given them they had. no um they would go to court but the men. in in town had the power and they would. influence the judges there was no it's a. [ __ ] nightmare it's been a nightmare. for women to get the equality that. they've needed to um also to just have. money really which was the power yeah. right it's definitely been a hell of a. journey but yeah I wonder sometimes if. um the pendum will swing back some and.
you will have more women that are just. like I want to be a hom maker um and I. want to be a good mom and and create. create a good household and a lot of the. women in our society I think they're a. reflection of men you know I think we. don't realize that a lot of times like. if your wife is happy not all the time. but um you know there reflection of of. their of men you know does it make any. sense it does it makes total sense man.
yeah like if you love your wife and you. lift her up and you you know you then. she lives that way yeah you know and if. as a father you do that probably with. your daughters they live that way yeah. you know I always sometimes feel like. they're they they're they're a. reflection of the men in their lives. yeah it's true man it's hard too. especially like you know with any job. it's just hard to like remember like. okay yeah you get so wrapped up in your. job you're like oh I have to like set up. like a culture in this house and make.
sure everyone's okay and like do stuff. because you get you get into a thing. where you're just like all right I'm. done my work I'm GNA go home we're going. to watch TV we're going to chill and I I. totally get that but yeah it's it takes. a lot of effort and no one's really. incentivizing you toward that effort. like with work everyone's like you know. they're dangling carrots over your face. all you know all day long but for having. kids and like raising a family you it's. totally up to you to be like here's how. we're going to do this and it's it's. difficult but I do think women got sold. an idea that like they have to be. Kick-Ass business women and like. anything less than that is like a.
failure and like a disgrace for like the. women's struggle and it's like well I. think I think the women's struggle. helped in people finding out like oh. yeah people were pretty miserable to. women for a long time yeah now just let. them do whatever they whatever they. really want to do let them do I I I get. why people are mad at that but I I still. am like that's not a bad thing and he's. genuinely thinks he's trying to help. people man he's not trying to be like a. dick like stay at home [ __ ] yeah one. point bucker mentioned the word pride. then clarified that he wasn't talking. about the deadly sin sort of Pride that. has an entire month dedicated to it. about the true god- centered Pride that.
is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to. glorify him okay so he really so he's. just a devout he's a devout Christian or. Catholic maybe I mean that's the the. thing is about some of this it's like. you can't go to a devout. Catholic and and expect non-d devout. Catholic [ __ ] you know that's what I. don't love about like the way the media. covers a lot of this stuff it's like. yeah most people might not agree with. the guy or some people might not but you. can't go to a chocolate shop and get. pissed when somebody [ __ ] gives you.
some chocolate dude true yeah that guy. is a devout Catholic then that's what he. believe it's like it was a safe space he. was in a safe space and you know it's. like if my dad sat in like a liberal. safe space he'd be incensed he'd freak. yeah so it's like yeah he doesn't go. there so it's like yeah I I get it it's. like dude I I get if you're gay that. would piss you off but if you're not gay. you're like whatever and if you're like. super Christian you're like [ __ ] [ __ ]. yeah it all depends on like what you're. up to right there's people for everybody. you know but we act like sometimes the. media acts like there's not people for. everybody in a way they only want to.
create but then that's their job yeah. maybe I'm being a downer today no you're. not being a downer it is like I mean. we're having like dude there's a guy Ken. Wilbur who writes I think it's like the. best take on this I've ever heard about. how historically human beings have gone. through just different levels of just. Consciousness Consciousness where it's. like like originally the the thing that. like motivated humans like the highest. ideal is just being powerful and. dominating others like if you're a Roman. if you're like you know uh like. Alexander the Great if you went and.
[ __ ] up a whole bunch of people you. were the like you would be like God. loves me this is awesome and then we. kind of evolved into like Christianity. and all that you know whatever that was. kind of like actually you know we should. be nicer to each other and then we came. up like we should be nice to other. Christians and like kind of [ __ ]. everybody else we went from like they. call it like power Gods to Mythic. membership and then from Mythic. membership to the scientific worldview. and they're saying the last one the. newest worldview has been this kind of. like woke kind of IDE like postmodern.
woke ideology and now we have people at. different levels of this and they're all. just entrenched in their worldview and. fighting each other and he's like it's. just going to go on you know until. people are just like all right [ __ ] it. and they transend all of them like look. which you do your thing I get it I don't. agree but like I don't hate you because. of it yeah that's the part yeah I think. hating people because of it's bizarre to. me but I'm not sh like a Christian guy. at a Christian College said some really. Christian [ __ ] he did so it's like that. to me it's not even [ __ ] news you. know it's like let him be who he wants.
to be you know he said I love my wife. and I'm not gay it's like yeah that's. for sure dude right yeah I'm not yeah. I'm not saying I agree with everything. the guy says or anything but let him. speak if it's like yeah I think the guy. should be able to speak um you said a. little bit ago you think there's like a. wave a faith wave that's starting up I. think so can I pee real quick I'm about. to I for real might pee my pants on. camera go pee and we're almost done. anyway that was like a 5 a.m. P dude. that was like 5 minutes long amen all. right sorry about that no worries it was.
a good pee thank you yeah you yeah I saw. you in there I can't you were peeing and. I came in and then when I left you were. still peeing I lapped you yeah it was it. was crazy I was embarrassed about how. long I was peeing for I was like come on. dude hurry up yeah there is that weird. thing it's like it's so funny you'll get. embarrassed if you can't pee yeah and. then you'll get embarrassed if you're. peeing too long cuz people even if. you're standing they facing the urinal. with your wiener people will be like. that dude's taking a [ __ ]. yeah. true like this [ __ ] dude is taking a.
[ __ ] or you'll think the people outside. think you're taking a [ __ ] like at what. point do people think you're taking a. [ __ ] look that uh [ __ ] in the urinal. is crazy too that's a wild move [ __ ]. at the urinals insane move you should be. treason you should get hung yeah I mean. look. it's you should be shot by a firing. squad it's like well no it means you. should be allowed to be a lifeguard dude. okay obviously according to Scientific. American mammals that weigh more than 6.
and a half pounds that's us take about. 21 seconds to urinate plus or minus 13. seconds whoa you see that last part oh. no when you pass the stool the. relaxation of the stronger anal spincter. decreases tension and the weaker urinary. sphincter allowing urine to pass at the. same time okay weird does that what does. that fact mean that you can pee while. you. poop I don't think you can huh I don't. think I've never done it I it's saying. that when you pee if you pee while you. poop the [ __ ] cops will show up.
huh who does that we in Philadelphia. crazy I've never heard anyone. successfully do that that's. crazy if I I would never do that dude I. I yeah I live by a church dude they. would know immediately when I went in. there it like he yep he did it um you. were talking about faith man you think. there's going to be like um people need. something I I do think that not having. faith. is there's something that's not help.
people the rest of this seems [ __ ]. aimless Life Starts to seem kind of. aimless and purposeless that's the thing. yeah yeah I don't I I honestly like you. know it was like like Bill Maher was all. about this way back in the day when he. did religionist where he went around and. like debated like conservative Baptist. Christians down south and was like you. actually think a guy in the sky and it's. like that whole argument is ridiculous. but it was cool to be atheistic back. when like there were still kind of like. a stronghold of religion but now like. we've lost it all and it's dude it's.
terrifying to be like we're just totally. alone we're like a cosmic mistake that's. just like here like a [ __ ] amoeba. just eating and [ __ ] it's I. think now that it's completely collapsed. it'll get rebuilt in I think a more. thoughtful kind of way where it isn't. like you know a literal interpretation. if that's people's thing whatever but. there's like there it's evolved a lot in. terms of the concept of God what it. could possibly mean like Consciousness. in the universe there's just and then. like you take like the Eastern stuff. that's kind of blending in and then you.
add YouTube which is like now people can. learn about anything and kind of. reconceptualize their own connection to. God rather than just kind of like being. in Sunday school and you know and having. someone just being like this is how this. works because there's like with religion. again this is more just Ken Wilbur stuff. um he talks about there's like. translative religions where it's like. them tell he's a human being Ken Wilbur. yeah he's a human being he's he's dude. his stuff I think he's one of the. smartest guys out there still alive yeah. he's still alive he lives I think he. lives in Boulder he's he's a 75 but yeah. so he he talks about meet him let's keep.
that in the list bro he would be a. fantastic get um but he talks about this. how a lot of the religion people grew up. with here is like translative where it. just kind of like here's how the. universe was built here's what happened. then and like it doesn't there's no. process toward um like transforming. yourself he's like there's translative. and then there's transformative religion. a lot of the Eastern stuff is more about. like transforming yourself. but then that you know whatever so like. I think within within here if people can. like kind of start to learn about there. are Pathways to transform yourself over.
an entire lifetime to make you a more. loving person and like you know you can. tap it whatever I don't know I'm like. out of my element with yeah you sound. insane a little but I also think that. you're a very smart guy and a super. communicative guy man but I think um. yeah I think there is it is getting um I. was just joking no it's funny it's very. I I do I lose the thread hard myself. that's oh I hate that dude dude it. happens to me all the time I swear I'm. like I'm right there and I'm worst bro. it's like when you tell people to come. over you're going to show them something. and then there nothing.
there but it's like 30 feet away I can. feel it that's the problem I can feel it. I just can't put it into words oh yeah. dude um imagine how Biden feels than. just [ __ ] nothing I make fun of him. all the time I'm just as bad as him I'm. like but there're like when you you do. learn about stuff like that dude imagine. when he closes his eyes he just see it's. just like a pigeon eating a caramel or. whatever there's nothing in there it's. crazy he's obvious just being used. obviously by the new Jim hints and. whoever those people are um but no there.
is something about religion there is. something about like uh yeah having. faith having believing in something. that's greater than us and yeah I think. maybe we get away from like the word. it's like not as locked into the words. of things but more about um the feeling. and what it means to be human um and. then also like if you use certain relig. religions if if if Christianity or um. [Music].
muhammadislam of Mythic membership where. you're like my group has absolute direct. access to reality everyone else is wrong. and he says what we'll all get to. eventually is called tier two thinking. where you go like I can see where you're. coming from this is kind of my thing I. what you're doing sick we're all kind of. doing you know the same thing in essence. with like different you know we got like. different clothes on turn in terms of.
our thoughts we're all doing the same. thing but yeah dude it's like there's. like dude if without I think if you're. if you're religious like actually. religious like you have like a spir real. spiritual connection I think on average. you live like eight years longer yeah. it's CRA the study and the studies are. just like. irrefutable oh well imagine just the. only thing that you cared about I mean I. even notice as I get older it's like I. don't have a family right I don't have a. wife or children. um I'm at home sometimes and I'm like. what am I even doing yeah yeah yeah I've. I've done that myself where you sit. there and you're like what am I going to.
do now what is the purpose of any or. what is. like like there's purposeful stuff that. happens in moments and things to think. about and enjoy and I'm not being like a. downer about myself or about my life but. just like yeah what there. isn't there must be something greater. right than just this and so yeah I think. family helps you see that um believing. in something getting up every day and. believing that the Universe cares about. you I think having a society that. reflects that we care about each other. and that the we care about the universe.
and that it cares about us too you know. yeah and it's not that crazy to be like. like we're we somehow Consciousness. emerged within our heads why would it. not be something prevalent in the like. why would it not be in the universe. itself to be like the universe at whole. isn't conscious but somehow out of. unconsciousness we have Consciousness it. gets real crazy it is to it's total cap. but it's like [ __ ] cap as [ __ ] dude. you think a universe that can't think. made something that could think dude. that's what I'm saying and designed. itself un perfectly it's unbelievable.
the way set perfectly so yeah that's for. me older I've gotten I've been like you. know and that's why they call it Faith. it's like I can't prove it but it's like. I will definitely hedge my bets on like. dude the universe it's it's on it's also. like it's like a like an ant trying to. explain Florida to like they can't ant. can't comprehend Florida but like for. some reason humans have this Inkling. that there is something Beyond. themselves and it's un it's totally. Universal too that's a good point dude. totally Universal in human beings. throughout pretty much all time yeah.
you'd have to how could you trick you. could never and it's not even like I. don't even know a ton about religion but. if I look up at the [ __ ] sky at night. I feel like there's something happening. here exactly exactly what it is ain't. exactly exactly you go I am that Sky. there's a man with a gun over there and. now we're back in. Philadelphia guys Matt mccusker thank. you so much man. congratulations um everybody loves you.
so much I'm so grateful that you and. Shane have each other and have been on. this journey together and um yeah just. thanks for coming and spending time with. us today man thanks for having me man. awesome thank you now just floating. theing like these leaves I must be. Cornerstone. oh but when I reach that ground I'll. share this piece of mind I found I can. feel it myones.
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