Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #454

we have some new tour dates and these. are some new ones Memphis Tennessee. we've added a show August 4th and 5th at. the cannon Center for the Performing. Arts. um I know the Chattanooga show sold out. don't worry don't go get a fancy price. ticket we will come back. um and you'll have another opportunity. Toronto Ontario uh August 30th and 8th. show added in Toronto San Jose. California we've added a second show.

September 14th. uh and 13th Oakland California. September 16th at the Paramount Akron. Ohio we've added a show. um on the 8th or 7th Washington D.C. we've added a show October 19th and 20th. if your city is sold out just keep an. eye out we'll come back through we also. have some tickets left for Windsor. Ontario on August 18th get your tickets.

through theovan.com. t-o-u-r and thank you so much for coming. out and supporting the return of the Rat. tour. today's guest has a new special coming. out on Netflix next week you'll want to. get a hold of that. um. it's he's unbelievable the specialist. called Soup To Nuts he's one of a kind. uh he has two of his own podcasts called. we might be drunk and Tuesdays with.

stories. um. he's from New Orleans he's a Louisiana. boy like myself I'm always in awe of his. talent and I'm grateful to spend time. with him today today's guest is Mr Mark. Norman. shine. sit and tell you possible.

[Music]. [Applause]. let's make it this guy I mean you've. been through a lot we both do we made it. yeah hell yeah you were in Edmonton Sin. City baby yeah the ah. there was smoke in the air they had some. wild fires going on and the go uh the.

governor said that they had to cancel. the show on fra on Friday oh damn so we. had to cancel and stay an extra day was. it all brown up there in the sky like. Trudeau's face he was uh Indian or. something yeah that's true he was a uh. like one of those lamp buddies I think. he was like Aladdin I don't know and. that's not a racial term I don't know. what the lamp Buddy's good ah it's. magical which I don't even think is. Indian. maybe I got that what is that Middle. Eastern. Alibaba I'm not sure I think dude it.

would be awesome if you could actually. rub on any on a woman and yeah he always. got it yeah that's fun. if you could rub on an Indian person and. they had to do something for you. then to Grant a wish that would be nice. they also have to face Mecca when they. piss or something oh wow maybe that's. not India a couple ignorant honkies here. yeah welcome to ignorant honky dude. ignorant honkies in the morning.

welcome to ignorant hoagies in the. morning we're out here we're live bro we. just got through like some bat I feel. like you're like a battered spouse. you've been up all night um Road hard. and put away wet yeah we stayed up all. night it was the last night of the fully. loaded tour slip and slide all day. drinking all day giant Amphitheater at. the Gorge 15 000 people. drink it I did some shrooms I'm gay we. did it up. oh definitely if you don't end gay at. the end then you're out if you're on.

drugs and you go gay I think you're good. yeah it was just a thing I just tried it. oh yeah man that cocaine gets a little. gay at the bottom of the bag that's true. especially with this [ __ ] yeah. nothing gayer than that move oh the last. two balls of an eight ball are on. another dude usually. eight balls that's four Dudes that's a. lot bro yeah gay dudes name that. appropriately man uh yeah dude I saw the. videos that looked magical I saw I don't.

know if it was bird or use someone put. up a video of like you guys waking. people up and just showing them where. you were at on the bus like when you got. up in the morning yeah yeah well the bus. gets quick as you drink all night on the. bus because you're just sitting there. and then I had uh one last year was me. Shane Gillis Joey Diaz big J and Bert it. was like a sleep apnea convention and. Joey's like [ __ ] sucker [ __ ]. that's how he sleeps with a feather. going up down oh yeah dude his CPAP. machine one time I saw had a bowl of.

weed built in and I'm like I don't think. that's. ah that'd be a hell of a bong though huh. yeah that's one way to do it dude yeah. yeah it goes right to the the lungs. but yeah fun time it was magical the Sun. is setting you ever been to the gorge no. I never been able to sell 15 000 tickets. wow that's Bert you know but it's such. an event in this catering and beer. trucks and slip inside there's all these. events and activities and uh. it's incredible oh.

that's one vote for Trump right there. um well you can see we're in a boom like. you look out in this audience like oh we. are in a comedy boom we're right in the. eye of the storm here dude it really is. I mean people want to come out what do. you think that is why do you think it's. at such a like a wild time where people. want to come out and I have a couple. theories and then I want to talk to you. if you like it this way or if you liked. it more when it was a niche art form in. a basement so that was kind of romantic. but I think comedy is huge right now. because a the internet you can just.

before you had a Comedy Central and an. HBO hour that was it really or some. albums so just so much and we got used. to it and HR is up up everybody's ass so. when you come out there and start. queefing it feels good. right right so that yeah these people. haven't heard a good queef they haven't. heard a queef through a mic they haven't. heard somebody pop off they haven't they. haven't heard any risk yes exactly and. people like that risk they live for it I. used to go dark at shows and they'd be.

like Jesus Christ now I go dark and. they're like yeah shoot into my face. yeah. yeah my daughter's [ __ ] a black guy. somebody yelled at one of my shows. really yeah and everybody and people. were like oh all right man I think yeah. there's sometimes people just coming to. get something off of their chest yeah. for sure because he's been thinking. about that but he can't say that at the. FedEx plant he works at uh. was he happy or was he like uh I think. it was kind of like he kind of it was. like halfway fist in the air uh not a.

full white power yeah yeah that's like a. little yeah like a mixed power a mixed. power yeah it's kind of true because. it's like that's white power this is. black power yeah that's true there's not. much I mean not much in the middle yeah. so if you just raise your hand and ask. her like if you're just a mixed guy you. just kind of curious right yeah. that's an array interracial power yeah. okay it's the the worst Captain Planet. episode. foreign. dude yeah that looks magical for you.

guys right I was like I was real I was. really jealous in a way I mean I mean I. was just like wow this is unbelievable. it is what's it like getting to be. because I always I'm just by myself. usually you know I I'll have like. already Madness I'll have like. um Laura Peak oh good eggs or Maddie. Smith yeah funny folks but it's not like. getting out there with such a group yeah. does it feel more pressure does it like. does it get competitive when there's.

that many folks on the lineup a little. bit and then you just want to kill and. you don't want to be the one to [ __ ] it. up but it's also nice to hang with. Comics because you know we're getting. more successful so you just start. potting and then you do your tour and. then you sit in your apartment or your. house for a week and uh this is like all. day I've got Santino over here and uh uh. you know David tell over there and it's. just fun and it's good to be with Comics. again. it's just it's like summer camp with. booze damn. and you guys do a lot of events on.

Bert's tour it seemed like I saw. somebody eating an uncrustable. oh that I missed that one I don't know. if that was that's an event. I don't know a couple of it was a couple. of kind of fat like I don't want to say. a couple thicker guys eating like I. don't think we're sharing one is that is. that what is that the PB and J yeah oh. those are good it was stavaros oh yeah. he was there he was there yeah man it's. a good crew they hand-picked the right. people but those Uncrustables you gotta.

watch out I mean I think that killed. Ralphie May I wouldn't be surprised and. this is the town that he died in man is. that right yeah oh [ __ ] Rafi used to. live like less than a mile from here. whoa oh. oh damn this is a shampoo around here. Sea World. sorry that's it he's he's dead R.I.P mix. power. mixed power dude well I was open the. whole time ah. dude yeah man you um. you've been doing I mean you just keep.

doing better man I gotta say your new. special I'm gonna think he's all just to. tell you dude it's so funny man I can't. believe you watched it I appreciate it. dude it is. it made me like. I mean you're just I think you're one of. the best joke writers that there is and. it's just so many jokes non-stop so even. if you hate your date that you're. watching it with there's more humor. coming right right like you don't have. to lean over and even check in with him. or her right you know like I can this.

guy has me from the beginning to the end. hey I appreciate it I worked hard on it. and uh I can't have silence so I gotta. keep putting punch lines in some of. these Comics go out there they're. sitting on a stool they're cool as a. cucumber I gotta keep singing yeah all. right pan and I think I'm I'm kind of a. boring guy do you ever feel like that. like I feel like when I go on stage. everybody's like all right we can pee. now because I'm like uh I'm regular. looking I'm not I'm not the fat guy or. the gay guy yeah so I feel like I'm. boring them so I got a really machine.

gun it wow that's interesting yeah you. wonder sometimes why I got like why well. first of all the silence thing I can. totally relate to yeah it's like if. there was silence. I always am like okay how long am I safe. in this silence yes exactly but there's. two kinds of Silence there's the [ __ ]. I'm freaking out sounds and then there's. that like let me hold you guys in the. palm of my hand silence and then yeah. you'll hit you with a big tension. breaker yeah and I can't do either.

I suck at silence I think it's a. parental my parents they do a thing. where they don't they don't respond to. you you ever have this you know like uh. my mom will be like so what'd you do. yesterday how was your flight oh it was. crazy terrorists came on the plane and. they put guns on the Pilot's head and I. beat one of them up and they're like. well it's unseasonably hot huh and. you're like come on nothing on the. terrorist thing. yeah why yeah do you think that's it. like does it come from like when we were. kids like why is it that commit that oh.

some of us some of us work with the. silence better like Dave Chappelle loves. silence yeah like he'll backstroke in. the silence he'll have a couple. cigarettes while things are quiet. um. you know some like uh Anthony jeselnick. knows that I mean he's a master of solo. he's great yeah he's a [ __ ] he's like a. like Hans Zimmer of Silence you know yes. the Zim but why do yeah why is it yeah. if things got silent like I even noticed.

it if I'm like dating someone or. something like yes oh that's scary and. things are [ __ ] quiet I think I don't. know how they're feeling yes exactly and. it's like I can't stand to not know how. somebody is feeling yeah you got to give. me feedback that's what's so great about. comedy you say a thing they laugh you. say a thing and laugh there's a a back. and forth but some people give you. nothing yeah you ever have an Uber. driver and and he's he's trying to chat. with you so you're like all right I'll. chat and then you start talking and he.

gives you nothing back that's that's my. superpower is I can say something and. have no one respond like at a party oh. damn what a horrible it's a horrible. power I'm the worst Avenger. but uh you're just talking and people. just kind of just peel off yeah yeah I. think I say weird [ __ ] you know. especially around normal people like. non-comedians you know like what's up. with the black people not be able to. swim and they're like all right we gotta. get out of here the meter's running or. whatever. and I'm not trying to Pro you know say.

crazy [ __ ] I'm just saying what I think. oh yeah I think saying something I would. say things like around my big thing was. if I was around like a buddy and their. family and stuff I would spill an insane. secret about my buddy and in front of. his parents in order to create any sort. of environment that didn't that I could. watch yes and not have to be like the. the person that had the major like. um like didn't have like a real.

partnership in that exchange right right. and you get to watch it now they're. going no Mom that's not true and she's. like well you told me this and now. you're you're eating popcorn yeah God I. loved that that is you know what else is. nice I'm um I have two friends mutual. friends who are fighting and I'm in the. middle. I love being in the middle of two. friends fighting because they both keep. coming to me can you believe he said. this can you believe he said that blah. blah I'm like I know I know and I love. it because I'm off the hook yeah but I. get to be the good guy help both friends.

and they hate each other yeah it's a. blast. dude it is fun when friends are fighting. it's like you feel like you have. something to do yes yes exactly and. they're they're so into it they're like. [ __ ] this guy out I'm like I know he. sucks then the other guy's like I know. he's the worst I'm like oh it's so bad. and is that burden uh Joe oh geez. boy you're good what are you is that. Nancy Drew over here no why are uh Ari. uh Ari shafir was talking about it yeah.

yeah I don't know if uh they want us to. bring it up oh okay I didn't know that I. thought it was uh arya'll bring anything. he'll put something in your drink for. Christ's sake. put that story in Bert's drink. Arya I think you could bring up the look. of back on Ari's face just now even. looking at this look at this yeah this. is him he's a little Jewish Troublemaker. but this is the perfect look of a face. as somebody's like hey look at this I'm. about to show you this yeah uncomfort.

between these other two people you know. you know you said you like to throw it. at the the mom and your friend that's. what he does but on a huge platform yeah. he does he did it with the Kobe thing he. likes the big the drama yeah he likes. that big [ __ ] bomb he does he loves. he loves it and I I get it to a point. because we're all nervous about people. not liking us or whatever so if you just. go in all the way and give him a reason. not to like you instead of just them not. liking you genuinely are they are you.

wondering if they don't like it yes but. if you're like hey just don't like me. exactly now you kind of have control of. it yeah interesting yeah dude this uh. this strike came up Isn't it nice to not. have to worry about that yeah I feel for. them I hope they get the I think they'll. I think it'll come around the SAG after. strike yeah right here negotiations. cratered over AI streaming Revenue. sharing. pay hikes and more can you get to that.

article just a little bit that's tough I. did like what Fran Drescher said I. thought it was pretty cool to see her. vid the no The Nanny yeah I used to have. a crush on her oh who didn't dude. it's a weird choice that she's the head. of this how did it become her well the. funny thing was a lot of people didn't. know right yeah because like I've always. you get the things in the mailbox I just. like vote for this person you know and I. always try to vote for like. the crate you know I vote for like the. wildest person to put in there because. sometimes they're on there right you. know it's like Wendy Williams yeah Kanye.

yeah yeah or Robert FK Jr yeah yeah. let's put some money in here yeah it was. really gonna make something happen yeah. let's shake it up yeah or even that. little they had a little person that was. on like a um. a soap opera. um and he was always getting attacked by. cats you know on there what yeah and I. tried to vote him in a couple years. um which what soap opera was that Google. soap opera little person I gotta see.

this oh this guy was beautiful man. really yeah I think I even did it I even. donated to a GoFundMe for him oh damn. that's him right there well that's not. that's a kid passions that was him you. sure that's not just a child I mean or. is that a [ __ ] I mean I take you call. Josh Ryan Evans that was him God man. that's a scary looking beautiful he. looks like uh Kim Zolciak Kim Zolciak or.

in the face looks like Corey biermann's. wife okay. oh is he Willow no I think Willow might. have been his father oh big shoes well. small shoes to fill. but yeah yeah but he definitely uh oh he. was on passions and he um. and yeah he was just God he was so. beautiful and I remember. there's this famous episode because I. saw two uh I saw a little person.

fighting two cats one time at a um wow. is that pay-per-view No it should have. been yeah. it was unsanctioned and there was um it. was down in hermose I was going down. there like a beach event or something. about walking and there's a little. person I mean battling two cats and. you're in like a carport oh my God what. a sight and other people and he like. looked over to help and I'm like I don't. even know whose side I'm on right yeah. what'd you do to the cats you know I. gotta hear their side yeah and a lot of.

people don't believe in little people. that you know they're like this is you. know. we gotta stop that you know there's all. types of kind of unique theories out. there but yeah I and I used to tell it. and then I told a story about it on. stage for a while but. um but anyway yeah this I remember that. guy and. um deep cut you know what the tough you. know we're all friends with Brad. Williams and uh oh yeah met we man once. the old the puffy hands are what throws. me every time yeah and I don't know and. you know what I feel bad I don't know. sometimes when I shake a hand of a.

little person I don't know if I should. go down and kind of get you know because. you want to give him like a hug like you. do everybody else a little half hug. right but then I don't know if me going. down to like uh coming down more to. their height is um makes them upset or. something I I wonder the same thing I. just pick them up and zerbert them oh. yeah that's what I do just to knock it. out oh like Biden did with that girl do. you see that oh my God he likes to sniff. those gal's hair oh yeah he likes knit. he [ __ ] nibbled on that one little um.

it was a little wider a it was like a. delicacy I think for him bring that one. up can you see that can you get on. Twitter and find some of these he's like. a vampire that's how he gets his energy. oh he's smelling kids yeah and he goes. oh. he really put it on that kid there was. that wild videos. I mean sniffing all those kids how old. are you yeah yeah that was a crazy. Montage he should sniff a little boy. just to even it out yeah it's true. especially gay rights people should be.

like hey sniff a boy right right or. sniff you know sniff a I'd love to see. him Huff on a couple darker children yes. yeah it'd be nice to be honest and hit. some animals too like mix it up so maybe. people just think that's your thing yeah. or catch I'd love to see him catch a. little bit of dander off of a off of a. you know. yeah some type of a pet or even a middle. eastern child yeah now we're talking you. know get a hit or something that's.

really gonna [ __ ] you know oh you. catch a little bit of cardamom off of. Bangladeshi kid that'll keep you up for. two days man and he's out here riding. these white kids the easy prey too yeah. come on too easy I mean how weird it is. really strange right it's very odd yeah. he's like the drunk friend at the bar. he's slurring words he keeps falling and. then he's freaking out the gals. and do you I feel like the media just. pretends like he's okay do you feel that. at all of course of course yeah it's so. obvious that they're clearly uh they.

know they just don't wanna they can't. say that's what sucks about the media. like. it's so biased just tell me what. happened yeah it's so annoying like you. know Fox knew if it's a if it's a white. shooter Fox News won't really cover it. but CNN will but if it's a black shooter. CNN won't cover it but Fox will it's. very strange. yeah it is it's like yeah definitely I. think it's another reason why people. want to go and see. speakers I mean not only comedians are.

are selling out or having a lot of big. crowds but. um speakers are I mean guys like Jordan. Peterson true. um Lex Friedman people love listening oh. yeah well I have a theory that uh things. are so wishy-washy like gender is very. fluid and this and that nobody can tell. you what's what so when some guy comes. out in a suit like an autistic Lex. Friedman they're like this is how it is. you're like all right thank you I just. needed I need some facts here yeah. enough with the feelings and my truth.

what the hell is my truth. everybody's got a truth yeah OJ had a. truth yeah you know that's true dude so. like yeah he was selling Cutco and [ __ ]. just went awry. damn that's a bad sale when the head. heads comes off I've read that somewhere. that somebody said he was just selling. Cutco and things went awry damn dude did. you see speaking of that did you see the. kid that uh they just had a Young Man. Who Lost His Head.

uh can you bring this story up whoa lost. his head yeah he lost his head and they. put his head back on what. what yeah man AI is getting good yeah. yeah holy [ __ ]. do you ever see the old the it's not a. video but a kid was born with a giant. dong and they had to they had to uh what. do you call it reduct reduce it um yeah. so he had this huge football shaped dong. and his dad said this is you got to get. rid of this but still make it a big dong. so they gave him an eight incher yeah.

they got to bring it back down to eight. oh wow that's great I know I always had. a law I had a uh adult penis when I was. a child really yeah whoa so it was very. I don't want to say it was challenging. you know nobody likes to say that. you know sure it's like you know it's. not like a ball and chain but it's. definitely like you have to monitor how. you kind of move you know whoa so like. you'd have a diaper with like a just a. mushroom head coming out the side yeah. you couldn't fit.

wow yeah I mean I remember they'd have. to get like the fat like the they had a. different name for them but like kind of. the fatty kid diapers and they had to. um I remember. having to sleep on my back or have like. even like a little pillow put up against. my mother said. they would take a roll of my dad's socks. and put it up next to my body while I. slept and they would set my wiener on It. come on that crazy damn because they. didn't want it to like pull my spine.

over a different direction or something. I was very young that's a heavy dong. yeah it was uh you know when that song. Swing Low Sweet charity oh yeah but you. grew into it yeah yeah you grow into it. you know it happens sometimes I'm not. sure what it's called when you have a. adult body part when when you're young. yeah you have to prepare for your. financial future there's no doubt about. it you have to prepare. for what you want your future to look. like if you want to save. you need to save.

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to forthepeople.com this past weekend or. dial pound law pound 529 from your cell. phone that's. forthepeople.com slash this past weekend. or dial pound law pound 529 from. yourself this is a paid advertisement. did we get that Fran Drescher video. oh here we go frankly. how far.

how they. poverty that they're losing money left. and right when giving hundreds of. millions of dollars to their CEOs. it is disgusting shame on them. they stand on the wrong side of history. at this very moment. we stand in solidarity. in unprecedented Unity. our Union and our sister unions and the.

unions around the world. are standing by us. as well as other labor unions that's. good. that's interesting huh I mean I feel. like she really kind of I feel like she. you definitely feel what she's saying. yeah yeah they got millions and they. can't give the right or some I know. the residuals thing is a bummer. well I think in a lot of it goes back to. just the history of people not getting. residuals you know it's like all those.

years of people on shows and you hear. that they don't have they didn't make. any money from you know like you hear. that a lot about the cast from like. Saved by the Bell and stuff like that. like they were on those hit shows right. and they didn't that it just wasn't part. of their deals I know so I think a lot. of you have that old energy that's built. up so she went through all that right. um the problem is on Twitter you have so. many people that come out against her. and are like oh here's a millionaire you. know trying to say what uh what the.

regular person wants and it's like but. still somebody has to. um. somebody has to speak up you know yeah. yeah and I think they'll be fine but. that sucks to be a writer and just like. ah We're Not Gonna We're not gonna pay. you well also because a lot of the. writers they work on spec you know they. do a project first and bring It Forward. oh yeah so I think when you partner in. the fact they're doing all of that work. yeah and then which some of those things. never lead to anywhere true how many.

friends do we have that have probably. written five scripts but I've written. three scripts I've written a million. packets SNL whatever TV show yeah and. they just steal your jokes yes hey. here's my jokes like you never hear back. I know you actually have to sign a thing. when you turn in a packet that says hey. this is not yours anymore you send it to. us and you're like that's that's my best. sketch I need that let me shoot it if. you're not gonna hire me it's on it. really is man it's such a um it's a it's.

a sick business and there's never any. accountability you don't know once you. send that packet off what happens yeah. and then now you have all these yeah you. have a lot of actors and I guess they're. um they're worried about AI which makes. sense you know they're worried about all. of that ai's getting good man I uh. people send me jokes that they put in AI. in my voice and I'm like that's pretty. good that's better than anything I ever. had. also I'm a robotic guy who tells jokes. wow now ai's taking my [ __ ] it's a good.

point huh yeah scary but I think maybe. that's also one of the reasons why. people want to come see something that's. real. I want to come see a human I want to I'm. sick of talking to a robot when I need. my plane ticket fixed I'm sick of. not being able to say anything at work. everything is like like goes into like. um like what the Rules of Civility are. and stuff that work and I want to be. able to come out and [ __ ] you know. hear somebody possibly dropping in bomb.

yes yes and like little things you go. unhoused that's what we call homeless. people now so you're at work or you're. in the shower going unhoused what the. [ __ ] is that but you can't say anything. at work so then you go see the you go to. the Chuckle Hut and you see the guy talk. about unhoused what's that about bro you. go ah I needed that yes so your special. did you feel like you had to get it out. that's what I thought when I was. watching I'm like Mark's so prolific. that he's just gotta get this out no I'm. not one of those guys I can sit on an. hour for a while and just keep honing I.

think jokes are better when you they. marinate over you over a long period of. time I think people put stuff out too. quick yeah you know I think Louie [ __ ]. that up with the hour a year thing oh. remember when that pressure came up oh. that was new you got Jay Leno going I'm. doing the something about Reagan you. know know so that that [ __ ] everybody. up and it kind of made it this weird the. new standard I'm like well that was just. him doing that yeah but now we got to do. it. yeah that was a lot of pressure yeah but. I think people just I think you're right. that's why this is even popular talking.

all we're doing is talking having a. conversation which we used to do all the. time and that kind of even went away oh. that's true huh people don't get. together yeah like when do you. yeah some of the biggest conversations. now are when you hear people talking. with like some lost kid that came with a. ring doorbell cam yeah ring doorbell. ruin the Jehovah Witness yeah by the way. but but yeah like even this weekend you. know when you're hanging out with a guy. you kind of know you know him but you're. not like hanging out every day and.

there's that weird moment of awkwardness. everything in my body's going ah get out. of here look at your phone uh put your. headphones in yeah do something but if. you just get over that it's a blast but. we don't want to get over that because. Comfort everything is so comfortable now. oh yeah there's definitely that moment. like it's like when you're on a diet and. they come down to the aisle of the plane. with the cookies or something or a snack. or whatever you know do you want a. little cookie all you have to do if you. just get past that thing of no I'ma. stick to whatever my little plan is yeah.

yeah because there's so we've yeah we've. become this like immediate fix yes and. the phone's easiest one easy one. millisecond of discomfort you're like oh. Instagram yeah not good because it's. hard to get back out of that it's hard. to get back to normal once you're. addicted like that do you ever look up. from your phone and you don't even know. kind of where you're there's like a half. a second where you're like I don't where. am I am I married. I have that while driving I'm like I. just wrote to 10 people and I've changed. States twice I didn't even realize it.

yeah dude that's so yeah there's. something yeah that's true these are. like just people talking wow that's it. we're just having a conversation which. was. people crave it I create I listen to. like five pods a day yeah I love it but. I think just generations and years and. years of like DNA of hanging out talking. in a circle in the woods or in a castle. or whatever the hell and then uh we just. stopped doing it yeah. dude imagine meeting somebody just like. on a roadway back like.

like um I was out in Utah recently and I. was like dude it is desolate out here oh. yeah and it's so hot like I couldn't. imagine having been like a Pioneer you. know yeah I think about that all the. time traveling across the way you have a. horse yeah one of your kids is sick one. of your kids is about to die yeah they. got the cholera yeah and you don't want. to say it you still want to play with. them and wake him up in the morning sure. you know even though God's Not Gonna. wake him up one of these days you know. and I hate to say that but it's like. every you know and we even went to like.

little graveyards in some of the every. half the graves were like four years old. seven years old brutal nothing worse. than a little coffin oh yeah so tiny. yeah but I think it's I think by that. all the time those old guys who would. get on a wagon and then like half their. family would die before they got there. and they just had to keep going I had to. deal with it Grandpa's dead keep going. yeah and it's just St Louis when they. get there. right right I know that sucks it's worth. Grandpa yeah you know.

and there was nothing in sale there. wasn't even an arch no yeah there wasn't. anything no Dairy Queen nothing. yeah I I and I wonder if you met. somebody back then like. um all the things you'd have to like if. you met somebody on the trail you had to. kind of really decipher like is this. person a good person you had a you were. really keen on like body language and. awareness so like every second of a. conversation had a lot of like value to. it you had to know if that if you could. share a campfire because if at night.

they were gonna try to rape your wife or. husband exactly I mean think about the. Native Americans you see those [ __ ]. pull up on a horse with the feathers and. the face paint. oh my God yeah we're in a Chuck E cheese. yeah I was like come in St Louis what. the [ __ ] but yeah no that's uh scary. [ __ ] and those guys were. tough yeah I couldn't I don't think I. could have done it but I think the value. of a conversation back then it was like. it was like that's where you got all. your news from to some guy on a trail.

yes. crazy. and that wasn't even there was no paper. no I mean there was paper but he didn't. have like a extra extra he read all. about it you know yeah he just had to go. hey you know uh. whatever the hell is the president now. and you're like oh [ __ ] I don't even. know that yeah yeah. yes yeah yeah they'd be like Thurman's. in or something yeah like my God that. guy I didn't vote for him whatever three. cheers open up a can of beans huh yeah a.

lot of beans back then God. yeah it's just uh. yeah the Val yeah how a conversation has. like changed over the years and yeah now. it's like we're like this little museum. for conversations like yeah sometimes I. think like. all human things will just be in a. museum like one day like aliens will. take their children to like see like a. smile whoa wow this was something that. people as if they had Joy their face. would turn up at the corners of their. mouth whoa that's crazy good call you.

know what's you know I was thinking. about this the other day well hi. if an animal shows you his teeth you're. in trouble he's like but if we show. teeth it's like hey you're good we're. smiling yeah isn't that weird because. teeth. are scary that's what you bite people. with they're pointy and sharp but yeah. with humans it's a good thing yeah oh. you were high I was so baked yeah forget. I brought it up dude those those. thoughts of when you're high did I. remember writing that like some of the. jokes on the right thing you read them. the next day and you're like this is.

garbage I know but you think you're Bill. Hicks oh you think you're unreal I know. you think you're unreal I oh sorry. um so Soup To Nuts man I yeah. everybody's gotta go watch this your. last special how do you feel like it. helped because we talked about that I. think last time you were here yeah I did. an hour on Netflix nobody would buy it. so it was like a failure I just put it. on YouTube and suck it up take the loss. and uh I think that's some of my best. work. and then this this is a I kicked it up a.

notch I went way darker I don't know if. you saw the whole thing but I got some. stuff I'm nervous about like some juice. stuff some black stuff some trans stuff. yeah no I I'm probably about 30 maybe 30. minutes in hey I appreciate it yeah more. than my parents I think anybody only. watches so much usually but I'll watch. the second half I was thinking maybe if. I get a date or something I'll sit and. watch it oh that's not bad yeah you'd be. like I know that guy yeah dude I know. that guy man people love him yeah I know. um blow me do you feel like it's gotten.

uh how do you feel like success has. helped your personality or helped you. like do you feel sometimes like. you know because I know as Comics like. we want people to like us you know oh. yeah I know like we're desperate for it. I mean it's why that thing like we can't. have things be quiet sometimes because. the silence is scary for some reason you. know. um you know I've always thought that I. like to I liked I know when I was young. to make people laugh because I knew if.

they were laughing that they couldn't. hate me at the same time right 100 I. feel the same way yeah and yeah I can. imagine most comedians probably do so I. wonder if some of that starts to. dissipate as we get. more success do you think I thought it. would but I think it's in the wiring. it's like baked in the cement is dry so. it's just always going to be that way. you you can get a little better but at. the core you're still the same dweeb. yeah you know it sucks it you almost. think you're you're gonna get some. Netflix special and you'll feel better. yeah it's still that's like I always say.

people like I'm going to Hawaii I gotta. take the edge off and I'm like but. you're still gonna have your head in. Hawaii yeah you're gonna be on the beach. going what's up with the black people. not swimming yeah yeah how do I come on. a shark yeah yeah you're always gonna be. what's up with sharks teeth when I show. my teeth you know whatever that's still. gonna happen in Honolulu. that's why drugs are popular yeah and uh. alcohol. yeah man is it um does it feel like you. got a party on those bird tours you can.

just do whatever you know because. sometimes I want to go but I just. sometimes I feel like since I'm not the. guy that can party that I'm like kind of. like. I don't want to be like people think I'm. like the [ __ ] dad or like the. no there's a lot of positive uncle or. anything well we're we all know you're. closeted but you know you gotta have the. uh the alone time we're all introverts. deep down and there's only so much time. you can beat cracking jokes chugging. booze and all that so you got to have. your down time or you're gonna [ __ ]. you're gonna Greg Giraldo yeah I was.

just talking about him with someone oh. Jim Gaffigan oh nice yep and he's got a. special both you guys have specials. coming out this week what is that his. 38th you know it's his 10th oh my Lord. that's insanity. that's very impressive it's unreal do. you think though that at some point. there's value into not putting out a. special and like like Bobby Lee right. has notoriously he's had some of this. like the same material for a long time. right and he makes up and he has new. stuff and and look I've done a lot of.

the same stuff over the years I like you. know. um. but there's some every time I see Bobby. I lie he's so funny unbelievable but he. can't put that on that down on wax. because. you can't show your dick a different way. right in a new special right you know. maybe paints it black or something I. don't know but that's his big thing. yeah it's so. um. yeah it's like can you but that was the. kind of the cool thing back in the day.

it was like you had to go see them yeah. that is pretty cool that's gone now but. is it though is it still like if you. don't put stuff out then people have to. come see you that's true I guess you're. right but my my thing is. a lot of it gets online somehow or you. put a clip up and so they go I'd love to. see this guy but I want to see new [ __ ]. yeah like Jay Leno or whoever these old. guys could just do that that same act. forever and they were fine yeah I went. and saw. um Bob Newhart. wow love the new heart I think can you.

bring a picture of him up I think he's a. legend Bob Newark yeah I went and seen. him dude and he was I think probably 80. something maybe 90. yeah and he was. doing jokes wow he looks like that lady. off of. um Ozarks a little oh yeah good call. with the heroin field yeah yeah yeah she. was [ __ ] the young hillbilly kid yeah. I mean he looks like he took a strong. hit off some Poppy and never came back.

he looks like the guy in the movie who's. just seeing the ghost yeah and he. freezes and turns old. I gotta ask you so you you're you're. doing very well I see these venues I. follow you on Instagram these venues are. huge yeah been pretty crazy I think do. you like because I like the love where. I'm at I'm scared of Fame and all that. [ __ ] not saying I'm famous but like I. would never want to be that famous not. like you but like some of these guys. like Bert Chrysler is so huge oh like.

yeah that seems almost scary to me yeah. I just feel like that's when uh people. start looking at you with a microscope. well I think you definitely your. anonymity starts to get lost I mean what. happened with me was a lot of tick. people took all my stuff and put it on. made it on Tick Tock ah the Andrew Tate. and so that took it to like a different. place it wasn't in my management you. know it was like um I mean there's. things people come up and ask me about. tell me they're so excited I've never. even remember I've never seen the clip I. don't even know oh yeah.

um so that I think kind of took things. to a different level it's definitely. been kind of uh. like it's kind of a I don't want to say. that it's a bummer but one of the. tougher things about getting popularity. is you spend a lot of your time. defending yourself yes like hiding. myself yes when I get off the plane. today I go and kind of stand like in a. space away from where I know people. won't be. um you know just like little things like. that where you're just monitoring.

um. how visible you are I don't know if that. sounds egotistical though no I get it. because sometimes just not ready to chat. oh it's some of the end you've and. you've had that you've and you've. already met a lot of people for the day. so sometimes it's like I'll be like if. I've already met 20 people today I can't. I'm my brain needs time to think about. stuff I need to do stuff in my own life. you know I have to take care of myself. and make sure I'm fed and whatever you. can't spend all your time meeting people. right yeah and part of you would like to.

there's that part of you that's. desperate for people to like you of. course it's a catch 28 you know you want. them to like you then when they do. you're like all right but now you got to. give me space yeah so we are kind of. dicks in that way but let me just say. this you ever meet Theo out in the wild. say hello great stuff I love your pod. and then you gotta move on because the. worst part is that awkward [ __ ] where. they're like now what and you're like no. we got I don't know you though yeah you. said your thing I got nothing on you I. don't know your mom or your where you. live or whatever if you were a Cub Scout.

you know so that's always get in get out. the lingering is tough dude and that. goes for anything in life man one of my. friends told me one time he said be good. and be gone that's what he said oh I. like that and that had always had a lot. of value to me my friend will Kirby said. that he's a uh board certified. dermatologist hey and uh yeah he's doing. good the guy he's probably 50 looks like. he's. 44 but spf'd to the gills dude oh yeah.

you know gotta moisturize oh he's. [ __ ] he's so Supple dude he's slick. oh he oh good for him he's so [ __ ]. Supple. um. but yeah he said that to me and I always. thought that that was pretty interesting. because yeah you don't want to get stuck. into space with anybody and it could be. business it can be with women yes you. know especially anything you're kind of. like approaching new. if you get stuck in that extra space. where you don't have much prepared or. you don't know what you're going to do.

then that's kind of. you know it's not the best right right. that's not a good answer for that but. it's just yeah you want to be good and. be going put in yourself because you. feel better than two you're like man. that was cool it was a good interaction. yeah perfect the best is like a guy on a. bike who just goes like gang gang yeah. yeah all right now that was perfect yeah. I got the recognition and no Chit Chat. and then he stands up and looks back and. says it yeah I think he has assless. chaps on him you're like whoa yeah pride. month well the worst is when you go oh. thank you and they go whoop they pull.

that you and you're like oh nothing you. yeah I thought we were done yeah yeah. but again very nice I sound like a [ __ ]. I'm like hey you [ __ ] with the. hellos and the praise no I mean and it's. I think sometimes it's just what your. own day is like I'll tell people now. like hey man I'm just having a tough day. or you know I'll just be honest about. what's going on yeah let's put the. burden on them now so now they want to. leave yeah you know what if you just. start unloading your [ __ ] like hey man I. can't get it up and I'm so glad we're. here to talk and he's like ah now I. gotta go. that's a good move.

I think one of the things though too is. like. um. like on my pie like on on my podcast we. talk a lot about there's a lot of like. people that struggle with stuff so oh. yeah we go so sometimes it's like I can. tell like if somebody's struggling. sometimes like I want to be in that. moment and like some stuff you want to. share you want to hear what people have. going on. um but then some people have just seen. clips and they're just like uh you know. they're just. they don't know anything more so. sometimes if it's like a podcast fan. who's into your pod yeah then that can.

be a little bit different you know. that's a little different yeah because. they know we're weird right and they're. probably weird too because that's the. thing right it's like dude you we were. probably the same type of weird because. we uh so you know like a lot of people. it's like oh I probably would have a. conversation with them if I just met. them regularly so true but you ever get. the guy like I read my DMs because I'm a. psycho and I'll get the guy like hey I. see you're coming to Nashville. I got a cabin if you want to come by. I'll I'll massage you and I'll cook and.

you're like wait why would I do that. he's like I got knives and a and a snake. you're like what yeah yeah and someone. yeah we can get we have a family. graveyard in the back and you're like. I'm not doing that yeah you know the. guy's like we can make a soup we have a. great homemade soup here oh God some guy. wrote texted me the other day and he. goes. um. I'm gonna. I wanna suck your. that's what he said oh hey nice. what was that Rogan.

wow. but see that's that's kind of what's fun. about being a guy is like if that was a. woman like I'm gonna suck your [ __ ]. [ __ ] yeah she's like it's hard being a. woman but with us we're like look at. this guy how funny my uncle well women. women. or women have gotten so vulgar in the DM. oh yeah it's a new world for the for the. clam yeah they're like let me come uh. let me come drop this split on you.

they'll say crazy stuff huh I love it I. mean I'm married now but those were the. fun days and I would always write back. hey be good and be gone you know that's. it quick and Quicken out I had a girl. one time send me a damage with some huge. breasts oh yeah god dude you could see. like her yeah her breasts they even had. like a sunrise and Suns there was like. it was an eclipse oh they had yeah dude. yeah she wasn't a flat earther oh no she. believed in the truth you know she.

believed in science man. she's too big though she just came she. we just got together in the lobby of the. hotel and played cards and that was kind. of cool come on what is that's weird but. it was nice though really there was some. kind of like old school and romantic. about it you know we played that game. speed have you ever played that I don't. know speed I've done speed I don't know. the game what's the game yeah it's it's. almost like being on the speed but. you're you're just doing it with the. cards and you're fine you can go to. sleep after oh yeah no hangover no crash.

oh easy nice we had a nice time yeah. that's why I like shrooms oh just the. best drug I don't know if you ever did. them oh yeah dude it's a no hangover. they last about five hours it's kind of. natural yeah fun you can go into the. bathroom by yourself at least twice and. be like um yeah that's right that's. right but don't get a look in the mirror. because oh you're ugly yeah in that. mirror like oh how come people are. talking to me I'm a ghoul. dude the show got canceled on Friday so. we went out to the parking lot and we're.

just meeting people that were showing up. yeah. and they had like five dudes that had. come they'd taken a bunch of shrooms to. come to the show oh man and you can see. their faces were all kind of shiny yes. that shroom glow yeah yeah you get that. shroom Club yeah which is beautiful it. looked like a happy child they look like. Angels yeah they're floating God could. you imagine being RFK Junior and having. taking shrooms and hearing your own. voice oh I think I was the devil dude he. could win he could win he's he's the.

he's the opposite of Biden he's ripped. he has his own views uh I think he's a. bit of a kook and in some some areas. he's definitely on the fringes uh but he. wants to bring back the middle class he. wants to stop the war he's got some good. stuff yeah and he's able to say what he. think he's able to like share what he. thinks I think you believe he believes. what he believes right yes I don't think. any of it seems like he is saying it for. some and you here's the thing too you.

know he is those are his police because. nobody's [ __ ] believed him yeah and. they're pushing back like you [ __ ]. weirdo yeah you crank they call him a. crank whatever that is yeah yeah they're. definitely calling them names from the. past yeah are you Charlotte and Gobbledy. good carpetbagger. you muckraker. yeah they're calling him stuff from the. past bro I know I know yeah oh the. internet and the paper are very mean. like it's an old man who's ripped trying.

to trying to do his thing trying to save. the country yeah I've known him just. he's always been a stand-up dude he's. somebody that I would go to for. suggestion he's somebody that um I've. always really trusted just as a person. it's crazy to like know a person and. then be like oh they're going that's. crazy yeah yeah heroin guy yeah uh yeah. which makes me like it more oh dude well. that's the thing he's handicapped right. he's done heroin he's ripped yeah and. he's yeah he's ripped without the. heroine yeah and he's obvious he.

obviously knows Larry David which to me. in my book that scores a few points yeah. that's a great Point huh I love that. yeah but the fact that he's speaking. that nobody believes so that's when you. know he's I mean the guy who's been on. his own yes so you know those are his. views you know he doesn't have any. lobbyists in his pocket yeah he doesn't. sound like any politics every politician. is kind of a puppet you know for the for. the man or whoever it is and he has his. own things and he had a great line. somebody goes uh you know Trump actually. likes you what do you think about that.

and he was like I think it's cool and. they're like what but it's Trump but. he's like I know but we got to stop. fighting we gotta stop having this left. and right [ __ ] let's just be Americans. and I'm like I I needed to hear that I. hate this division. podcast. thanks to Babel I know what that means. do you. well recently I've been learning to. speak Espanol. Spanish with Babel and you can too. because with Babel you can start.

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b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash Theo rules and. restrictions apply. yeah me too man I hate that like I go to. the UFC fights and Trump will be there. right and I feel like. um. that people are gonna judge me for it of. course for associating with them or like. like I would never judge any of my. friends if they associate it with. anybody I don't think you know here's a. picture right here I got asked to take.

this picture whoa. and his camera wasn't. is Herb Dean yeah I couldn't eat that. well you really got the lean going huh I. try my best dude. holy [ __ ] I'm surprised you could hold. up well if that somebody's phone I don't. know whose voice had like bacon grease. or something so any button I pray it. wasn't it was the ah the grease was so. thick well the gr it was kept taking the.

hit of the grease so it was like if I. pressed a button it wasn't like saying. okay I'll accept that button all right. you got some dirty Italians from. definitely uh but how cool I was on the. bus with Bert watching this and I was. like there's Gillis there's David Spade. there's Theo there's uh Johnny Knoxville. yeah so cool I mean huge Spade in. Knoxville what that's the movie I want. to see and Spades become one of my he's. probably my best he's probably probably. my best friend in Hollywood these days. for sure oh did you ever think watching.

Tommy Boy that you'd be hanging out with. that little twink dude not intense I. thought dude I remember when I first saw. Joe Dirt I thought it was real right I. thought that they had left. this kid at the Grand Canyon oh come on. yeah really I'm really believing that. when I was a child and [ __ ] broke my. heart you thought it was a documentary a. really I guess I did and I don't. remember why I did but I just did you. know but um yeah so that anyway that's. just wild because then you're also there.

with Spade which kind of gives you carte. blanche with like other celebrities and. stuff so he meets somebody I'm like hey. I'm right here yeah you know what's. Knoxville like Knoxville is kind of like. he seems kind of serious a lot of times. really yeah well his dick doesn't work. he'll probably make it a little more. serious oh dude well I probably good. thing we're I'm glad we're sitting near. each other and nobody's nobody's getting. [ __ ]. yeah and if a lady shows up you got dibs. what's he gonna do go down on her for an. hour I don't know I'd probably be right. there next to him dude.

dude my 20s I couldn't even get an. erection my 20s I had so much anxiety. right and that's [ __ ] up with all. these kids now they got the Bluetooth. the Cialis all that stuff I'm like man. back in my day yeah you had to think of. something real in the bathroom and get. chubbed up and then run into the room oh. I remember trying to squeeze my butt. cheeks hoping to push the blood to the. front. remember squiding as hard as I [ __ ]. could oh it's the word and your brain is.

going in so many directions you're like. please please get hard she's right here. yeah oh it was so embarrassing that you. have the no it's not you it's me I'm in. my head and she's like you think I'm. ugly. I know you know I have picked I'll draw. I'll draw a picture of some vulva right. now for you with my eyes closed you know. I'm not gay and the saddest part dude I. I would notice my brain. because I would get in those instances. you know and I would feel so [ __ ].

defeated and I didn't know it was. because I had so much anxiety around. women I just thought there was something. wrong with me I didn't know that it was. you know my mother didn't look at me for. 14 years so I didn't have any connection. to how to if I if a one like yeah well. she saw that big hog of years. it's too awkward. but yeah that's yeah she saw that front. end loader dude yeah damn unless I'm. moving steam it in the yard.

I'm not [ __ ] with this baby he's. using your dick as the tar mom and. flattening it out with the it's a boy. it's a girl it's a dick yeah. oh but I I have a weird thing where I. couldn't get it up if I liked the girl. oh if I didn't like her I was a porn. star yeah I think there's a term for. that Benson if you want to give that a. goog yeah let's look that up. um but so I remember uh my brain would.

start to say okay you need to have an. excuse now right but it would be like 5. a.m sometimes. I know and I would always say I'm part. of a swim team I remember and that we. have early practice damn that's good. swim too because no one lies about a. swim team right people would be like. that's who would say that yeah it's too. too specific but sometimes they're like. you're 28 years old right right you're. not even in college you know yeah yeah. that's when team are you on right. yeah. it the the things the place your brain.

will go to get you out of that situation. and I'm like you don't support the mid. city fins. what if you yell some [ __ ] you know I. can leave or sometimes I would say I. have to go and let my dog out oh yeah. that's good. but I don't know most guys would [ __ ]. her and then get the dog yeah I feel. like but then there's a little bit like. oh this guy's a pet lover this guy's a. good guy that's true that's true but. women don't have to worry about I don't. know a lot of women who are like ah I. just can't get wet yeah like Jim Jeffrey.

said that great bit where if I can't get. up it's my problem if you can't get wet. it's my problem Oh and I was like that's. kind of true. also don't turn a lady down in the. throes of passion she will hit you with. a frying pan oh they get it's so yeah it. really debilitates they really feel. affected by it oh yeah oh yeah yeah. sometimes I feel like I should go back. through my 20s and just make do like an. apology tour. go to cities where some of these women. live bring them in their current husband.

up on stage. I had that in uh Phoenix I hooked up. with some comedy club waitress 10 years. ago yeah and I did the theater a year. ago and she came out with her husband. and it was awkward he was like I know. everything I'm cool with it man but he's. shaking your hand real tight and giving. you like a weird aggressive hug he said. he knew everything yeah he was like ah. she told me everything but hey it's all. good you come here you big galoot he's. nugging me and I'm like this is weird he. doesn't like this. God that is weird huh yeah and this girl.

had a Nutella fetish so she would make. me put my dick in Nutella oh yeah. European yeah hazelnuts. I gave her the hazelnut yay but yeah two. pumps. oh dude that's interesting yeah I'm. trying to think of some good. um. yeah dude it was oh that [ __ ] was. traumatic for me oh the worst not to. keep harping on it but that was tough. man but that ain't yeah it was just it.

was so much anxiety being around or what. like oh yeah you know and then it starts. to dissipate it shows how powerful. you'll burnt your brain is because like. she would a girl would leave after I. couldn't get it up and I was so bummed. out and I put porn on and I'm hard in. two seconds it's all mental you just. gotta get a your brain's like a horse. you gotta learn how to control it or. else it'll just keep Galloping into a. bad place yeah into a place with no. boners. yeah it's tough but like I took. finasteride you know what that is oh.

yeah I'm on it right now oh yeah me too. so I would take that and everybody's. like it's gonna kill your boners man. you'll have hair but you won't be able. to get hard and I'm like oh that can't. be true and I bought into it and so I. would hook up with girls and I couldn't. get up put it up but it was all in my. head literally yeah it's a hair yeah. but I never had a problem but then I had. to sit down with myself and go this is. all in your head you're [ __ ] crazy. and I I got back to it yeah well I take. the blue shoes man I like them oh really.

and what I like is you can have a. nibblable amount you know I can eat you. know how's the evening going how much. are you in love with this girl you've. been seeing or something and you can try. to take it you know and so you know that. is nice to be able to have a niblical. amount that is nice because the viagras. Dude I remember when I was in my 20s I. remember. I would go I went and lit you couldn't. just get by when they first came out you. were like damn bro old people are. [ __ ] I remember yeah one time this. black dude came up to me is like hey bro.

bro. old people are [ __ ] you know I heard. those old folks homes are just orgies. and then he robbed a guy and I was like. whoa dude this is that's not even funny. dude never said that but um but so I. remember I went and lived a buddy of. mine his dad was getting a prescription. so I went and lived with him he was my. roommate so I could wow chirp off his. Viagra wow just that's the only reason I.

mean I you know I like the guy as well. sure but the prescription helped it was. hard it was like plutonium back in the. day it was expensive it was hard to get. it was 60 bucks a pill yeah that's right. because they know you need to get laid. Yeah it's like that aids guy who jacked. up the Prize Martin shkreli oh yeah that. that [ __ ] uh that Chooch yeah dude. slime ball oh he was that T-cell Hitler. T Cell Hitler okay piece of [ __ ] I know. I know he's just walking around he's. free now yeah he's out he's doing.

podcasts uh-uh he just did Legion of. skanks they got him no way guys pull it. up there Benjo. what was his name. something like that Legion of skanks I. think Gillis was on it as well. I think Gillis called him out even. but yeah that guy really uh yeah there. he is see what the the doofus hair he's. got the Hitler here too he's got the. swoop down one Martin's uh skrel. I can't believe they had him on I know.

I mean he's an interesting kid let's see. him there he is wow he looks like a 10. year old. he looks like all of the West Memphis. Three. I just mushed into one yeah he kind of. looks like uh the kid from Toy Story. what a great group it's a fun pod it is. fun huh and skank Fest is also fun I.

don't know if you've ever been to that I. haven't been they invited me one uh. Lewis has invited me two times the. weekends have just been. you know it's tough when you're all set. when you're touring of course of course. and the one weekend you have off it's. like you want to have it off yeah yeah. and that you can't have that all like. you're going all in on that it's Blues. it's crazy fans it's parties yeah. um. what else were we talking about boners. oh yeah but I remember living with that. guy but then the problem with the. viagras was you'd start taking them and.

here was the problem your face would get. so red yeah and I remember I couldn't. bend my arms on someone when I first. started taking it even your arms were. boners you would oh yeah yeah wow damn. because that [ __ ] is strong oh yeah I. felt like a cricket judge you know. you're like the guy at the uh the. airport yeah that's all you can move. yeah it was that [ __ ] is strong I would. I took a half if I needed it oh yeah. well I would start getting nibblable. chunks but then even then I still had. problems really yup it was just because.

it was still so in my head well here's a. question let me I wonder if I gave you a. Viagra but it wasn't real I bet if you. ate it you'd still be able to get a. boner easier than if you didn't just. because of the mental yeah you know yeah. I bet you're right like sometimes when. I'm really hungover I drink a cup of. coffee and I feel better sometimes if I. smell coffee I feel better because your. brain's like oh it's about to come in. just the smell of it so no caffeine has.

hit me but just smelling it my brain. goes up we're good. pretty wild. yeah I think it's I think we don't even. know the powers of our brain and I think. the direction we're headed as a society. I don't know if we're. we're not that's not the thing we're. trying to learn now we're trying to. learn the we're so addicted the other. way it's like so true I mean we are. addicted to our phones we are addicted. to that next thing we are addicted to. vaping to Sugar it's almost like.

I don't know sometimes it feels like the. the puppeteers if you will oh yeah the. people that big sugar yep big Tech you. know big Pharma yeah big Pharma he was. on The Sopranos oh yeah big puss yeah oh. bring him up his birthday's today shut. up bring him up what the hell is a. Mercury in retrograde we're connecting. here where periods are synced bring him. up yeah we should be on a volleyball. team. bring him up dude you know why it's. because it's WNBA All-Star oh boy the.

spotting is must be crazy yeah. oh the spot up the spot Shooters out. there are [ __ ] nuts. um just bring up big [ __ ] birthday on. Twitter. areas. is it 77th birthday today. well a day ago or a day ago still scroll. a little yeah that's awesome dude. I I saw this because somebody keeps. scrolling uh somebody put.

um they accidentally put Joey Diaz's. picture. one fat Italian for another Vincent. Pastore oh wait actually he's Cuban. sorry yeah uh. [ __ ] sucker god dude what a wanna I mean. how do you find a guy like him yeah one. of a kind one in a mill I hope he's all. right yeah you ever taken one of those. Edibles he has. no we did shrooms on his show Once I. don't think I took an edible over there. they don't do it they're called like. stars of death stars of death hey Lee.

you just feel you remember when Elon. Musk sent a convertible into space. that's how I felt when I took one I was. in space floating alone. brutal hated it well there's still that. famous episode where Owen Benjamin. couldn't it he he couldn't he went too. deep damn it's like a mental Viagra. because you're like you know when they. say if you're hard for four hours call. the police or whatever this your brain. is so high you feel like you'll never. get back to normal yes scares the [ __ ].

out of me that is the that's the exact. dude that's the perfect statement that's. the that's the scariest part about some. of the drugs is that you're not going to. get back to normal yes it's that Alice. in Wonderland [ __ ] where you're like I. guess I'm here now this is my life oh. the worst feeling yeah how will I ever. make a sandwich again oh my God forget. about it yeah God that was Unreal I know. um I don't love weed. yeah you know I never could admit but. then here's one thing that I noticed. after a while weed a certain type of.

weed would make me be able to. um. do boners oh wow because it just it like. trumped whatever little part of my brain. was and I could do boners whoa oh that's. interesting oh I remember even texting. my mother when I when it first and I. said Mom because I told her over the. years you know about this you know I. have this problem and really bro it was. traumatic man it is pretty traumatic and. then you're in relationships and I. couldn't have sex with my girlfriend.

oh man this is horrible can marijuana. save your sex life. um a growing number of doctors are. prescribing THC for everything from. erectile dysfunction to difficulty. orgasms look at that you were ahead of. your time we've known for a while at. least anecdotally that cannabis can. enhance the sexual experiences of women. now I've also noticed it'll make your. wife feel like a new woman you've never. met. when you're high when you're high. totally totally like oh these tits are. new these shoulders are new yeah yeah. but a recent survey of medical cannabis.

users conducted by hello MD a. telemedicine let's scroll down. platform found that men and women had. seen a boost in their sex life. how do you like that see but I'm high. I'm not horny. really I'm just in my head too much I'm. thinking about you know sofas and. cookies and but is that an Indica though. I wonder if it's a the wrong strand. maybe I don't know my strands that will. yeah indica's in the couch. and then sativa is like the energetic.

one oh I think it's Vice Versa oh is. that right okay Ben what is it yeah it's. they say the into couch thing so it's. basically indica's kind of mellow and. the other one will kind of give you an. energy but it really doesn't matter at. this game well I've never then I've been. doing it all along for a long time dude. you're smoking something getting boner. yeah but that was good man when I got. those boners dude it was fun that's a. great feeling you got married oh you're. off the market I'm off the market uh. happily married got a great lady and uh.

where we're gonna maybe have some. Rugrats do the whole thing are you guys. doing embryo um are you guys gonna. Outsource it now nah we're gonna she's. young enough so I think we're gonna just. try to shoot loads fill up that yum. tunnel huh there she is hey there's the. lady oh wow dude bro was that scary for. you was it scary to commit to being. married of course terrifying I still. wake up every day scared oh wow she's. hot huh oh hey thanks I mean I'm not.

looking at her but she seems hot she's. got a ample bosom great girl funny she's. funny yeah really funny I I I can't she. says horrible [ __ ] around the house like. if anybody if Alexa was just like I've. been listening the whole thing I'm gonna. tell everybody. we'd all go to jail yeah but I like that. you know you know you hang out with a. girl and you say some offensive joke and. she's like okay yeah like all right we. could never hang out yeah she's the. opposite she's a psycho was that one of. the first like is that that's definitely.

a thing you have to have a woman who's. funny or gets at least also who gets. jokes gets it that's even more important. she's got a great laugh I think you love. a lady with a laugh. yeah dude I used to think. yeah if I could have got my mother to. laugh at me then I don't know if I ever. would have done any of it no you'd be. saying you'd have no mullet you'd be. working at you know uh Pinkberry yeah. I'd be a manager yeah you just have a. normal life oh I'd have so yeah I'd have. been a local attorney you would have.

been too oh really I think in Louisiana. ah dude declare my client did not rape. that woman they're always sweating too. like there's no AC in the South yeah. yeah dude. even if they are we'd have been wearing. sear bro from New Orleans we would have. been wearing seersucker suits oh yeah. we'd have been eating fried shrimp every. day yeah mint juleps oh yeah and begging. some judge yep to give our client some. leniency and probably some ambulance. Chaser fraud oh remember Morris Bart oh.

yeah one call that's all I'm on your. side yeah remember chip Four Stall yeah. [Music]. takes care of it all dude every town my. uh the family that I went to live with. the dad worked for chip Forstall so I. got to go meet him whoa that was big he. was a celeb he was a big shot in. Louisiana Morris Bart chip for Stahl. morgus the presenter oh [ __ ] how about a. 18 25 too late whoa you knew that one.

out nah was it Covington Covington would. you do that yeah dude that was good man. no one knows what the hell we're talking. about except for like three people yeah. they were just small like uh everybody. has their local like attorneys or. um grocery store yeah the Billboards you. see yeah yeah Louisiana had theirs and. those were some of the biggest ones. around the area yeah and you know what's. fun is when you do the road you just. flip through the hotel TV and some Like. Crazy Carl's fireworks Sunday come on.

down half off ah it's wheelchair. Wednesday. crazy cars we've got the ramps out right. right I love them because it feels homey. you feel like oh this is a little. Community here well it's another thing. that we've lost by everything just being. so like uh like when Sirius bought out. all the radio stations when everything. just got so big it's like the value of. your hometown or whatever unless you. really care there's not as many like. little things that bring that have that. bring people together like in a common. space you know 100 those old Auto guys.

like they were selling car used car guys. were great I see I see let it have it. let her have it that was the guy by us. dude yeah that was like it was a. furniture store well there's that famous. racist Furniture ad that goes on you. know there's like bring up racist. furniture store. 's Furniture is a funny horror movie you. sit out in a chair and you're like I. hate Jews like it makes you racist.

bro yeah yeah it's like it's like uh. that hat on uh Harry Potter oh yeah. we're in the courtroom like he had the. Hat on sir he was laid on the races. couch and he loves Asians. oh man. what was I thinking about what were you. talking about uh well let's see we're. talking about boners uh racist Furniture. uh. special. uh oh yeah these these killer whales are.

running a muck. yeah well they killed a bunch of them at. this I saw this there was a cruise ship. pulling in a port where was this at what. a lot of times on cruise liners people. go out and and witness when the ship. comes into Port it's like a big moment. and people out there with their kids and. like Hey we're there we're in you know. Mexico we're in some made up Mexico like. plint to buyers yeah oh have you been to. plintabaya right every year it's like a. new place that never existed the year. before I know like Tulum yeah I heard.

about Tulum and then one day that's all. I hear about is every white person's. going well we're summering in Tulum yeah. and we're also see it also seems kind of. sex trafficky doesn't it oh yeah there's. a lot of that going on in the Mexico it. seems like a lot of people just like a. lot of. um companies just flying chicks down. there and banging them yeah yeah and. more power to them you're making the. world a better not for them right a. cruise line has apologized to over 1 000. of his passengers after one of his ships.

arrived at the port in the middle of a. whale hunt where dozens of the marine. mammals oh no we're being slaughtered. ah aren't they like a endangered yeah. why were they doing it can we go up and. see this. these poor whales man oh. incredibly disappointed that this hunt. occurred at the time that our ship was. in Port. well no wonder the orcas are pissed. yeah as has been.

wailing still occurs in the Pharaoh. Islands today. um they've eaten pilot whale meat and. blubber since they first settled the. island so it's just part of their. tradition there. today as in times past the whale Drive. is a community activity open to all. damn see it's funny how Progressive. people love. brown people and immigrants but they. couldn't agree less with Progressive. people they're like we're gonna kill. animals there's a lot of gender roles. you know like these old school. tribe people or whatever you want to.

call them. they're wild oh I see what you're saying. they're like we should give all this uh. Place back to the native inhabitants but. then the native inhabitants do stuff. like this which is something that. Progressive people would be totally. against exactly exactly like we make a. gay joke that's off color if you're like. you know. cancel them these guys are doing crazy. [ __ ] yeah it's like hitting their women. and stuff well it's also like I used to. think about how like they would sell. like like it's fancy Spas they sell like. mud baths and stuff yeah but if you go.

to but then they have countries. literally where kids are bathed in mud. and they're like we gotta help them. right right what do you mean that cost. 300. that's hilarious you ever noticed. too about these Spas I did a gig in like. San Diego was like a rich area and oh. it's all these hot moms with little dogs. and they're Mercedes oh yeah and they go. into a spa all day and get massaged and. the Kiwi on the eye and all that and I'm. like. who needs a spot less than you these.

roofers or landscape they need a spa day. they need a foot massage oh yeah dude. imagine have you seen that guy Vic. Blends that rolls up and cuts people's. hair no. like a drive-by cutting. it's too hard it's consensual yeah it's. consistent okay he pulls up. um what it's really neat guy he's on. Tick Tock and he pulls up and it's. mostly and he likes trimming up Brothers. right yeah really which is you know he. favors a black community I think I. haven't seen the ones I've seen it's all.

young black men that he's trimming and. it's cool it's like you know it's a lot. of times it's a guy I saw one the other. day it was a garbage man right the guy's. in a truck work and he's like hey man. once you take a break for Tim you know. 10 minutes let me tighten you up yeah so. he kind of like gets you know it's just. like it's like a it's pretty beautiful. what he does okay because right now it. feels like a trap yeah yeah. give me your kid for 20 minutes. yeah this video uh uh so he does that.

and then oh [ __ ] what are we talking. about uh. uh uh wait [ __ ]. what was that. uh right before that though uh [ __ ] I. just had it. oh Spa oh he had a spa. so who needs a spotless the mud bath. right wouldn't it be great if there was. a foot massager that did what Vic Blends. does oh yeah and he just rolls up on a. couple Brothers like hey boys y'all look.

like y'all had a tough day out here I. don't know if the Bros would go for that. I would still be [ __ ] wild that would. be wild hey let me touch up them low. nuggets homie you know what I'm saying. boy that's why I'm so jealous not to. change something I'm jealous of guys who. are in a feet yeah because they're. everywhere like we like tits but you. don't really get to see tits out in a. while but flip-flops open toe sandal. Barefoot women they're just there that's. true I never thought about that must be. nice yeah it must be nice to live just.

in a smorgasbord like every everywhere. is a nudist colony yeah exactly. I mean and you could be one of those. guys like hey you're coming in here you. got to take your shoes off come to my. house I can't do that with a bra yeah. um and everybody wants a foot massage. yeah oh yeah that's the thing you roll. up like hey let me just let me touch. them hoofs baby yeah and they're like. please I had a hard day in these heels. oh dude if somebody came up right now a.

strong I would have to be a woman though. for me to do it I don't want a man. pushing around in my feet and feeling me. like that no I think I'd prefer a man. really well I don't I got bad feet I got. a yellow toenail a bunion a canker a. hemorrhoid it's bad down why you have a. hemorrhoid well what do you got bunion. oh yeah that's like a foot hemorrhoid. it's like yeah if you're [ __ ] out of. your foot you're not doing good. not there yet.

um. yeah the roll-up foot massage that's. that's not bad. um what else was I thinking about dude. um so you guys are living in New York. though living in New York where you have. a spouse you feeling good about it. feeling good we're gonna buy a place in. Brooklyn like a bigger place with a yard. and stuff sorry so that'll be fun and uh. yeah you see my boy Louie around ever. Louis CK sure he's around I love him. yeah he's great god dude I don't know if. there's anybody funnier than him I mean. he's definitely one of the best of all.

time. for sure just his bro like I'll talk to. him on the phone and I'm not trying to. like humble brag or anything I mean I. love he just and he I'm laughing so hard. yeah he loves you he really uh I listen. to that episode and he really blew you. which is rare for him. it was nice of him he and I've become. buddies oh that's great yeah it's again. like David Spade did you ever think oh I. can't even imagine I used to watch him. on Comedy Central when I was in college. yeah. it's crazy dude yeah that's what's great.

about comedy is like if you're just some. Guitar Bar guitar guy you're never gonna. meet Mick Jagger yeah he's the top but. we can meet top comedian I've met. Seinfeld and all these guys oh yeah it's. not that weird. we're all Comics yeah there's less. pretension in comedy. oh that's interesting. yeah there's less pretension in it. um yeah one crazy thing uh so at the UFC. Shane Gillis had on Versace huh oh yeah. did he changed her that did not feel.

like him he's always the black T-shirt. guy yeah. I was like wow somebody you know. yeah well you get you get out there with. the rogans and the UFC it. you start changing you know you get that. evil in you yeah something that happens. man you want to buy a tiger and and uh. buy like a little car yeah get a faced. hat yeah yeah Mike Tyson. who what can we do we most likely you. think to get a face tat. um well Delia got a neck that's as close.

you can get yeah. face that's tough. um yeah who would it be yeah maybe Lewis. J oh yeah that's pretty good because he. like he's into fighting and stuff he's. in a jiu jitsu you know you know he's a. tough guy. um I don't think it would look bad on. him no it would work right it would work. I think Katt Williams could do something. oh yeah something nutty on the face. I can't decide what he would do he's my. number one podcast guest that I want to.

have oh his feet wouldn't hit the floor. yeah he's so little he's cute oh he's. tiny but he's so [ __ ] funny oh yeah I. always thought he should have done. comedian cars with coffee just those two. in a car together couldn't be more. different oh man that would have been. gold that have been so gold wow yeah he. does uh he does these Arenas my friend. used to open for him he's got stories. really yeah one time he was late. apparently and uh he gets paid in cash. in an arena that's you're making a lot. of money. you have to use two hands probably to.

put that bag on his back that's expense. that's a lot of tons tons of cash but he. was late for the gig so he felt bad so. he said pay me now and he was throwing. the money out into the audience wow. crazy uh uh and he's only famous from uh. I guess he did some cop BT stuff but I. think he was just on a movie. well he did that comedy special in the. green oh yeah or purple jacket which one. was it he's had a couple but yeah he's. so funny.

oh he does have a face tattoo oh I. called it oh he tattooed a goatee on. damn he could have just waited. yeah. I need to do that oh there he is right. there that was the one. whole Little Tink tank remember that. yeah Pimp Chronicles I thought it was so. good. I just seen him an open mic like how. does a guy like that start was he like. hey uh milk's weird yeah you know or did. he just come out of the gate that suit. that's a great point I couldn't even. imagine Katt Williams that like is going.

to do his first comedy set Wild. well a lot of black guys are just built. that black people have some just. built-in funny black people have so much. fun joking and making fun of me it's. like there it's always like that like. the kids around the middle school table. like yeah on the table totally that. energy keeps forever in the black. community I feel like I know it's a lot. of energy and ball busty and they say. funny [ __ ] like you gotta you gotta head.

like a box cutter and you're like damn. how'd you think of that damn Larry got. that box cut up. I know and there's. a dance. it never ends like damn I was hoping. that box cutter they wouldn't catch on. damn Larry working for UPS with that. head that's one nice thing about growing. up in Louisiana we were exposed to a lot. of that that's a good point man and. there was always there you always wanted. to make black people laugh.

if you could get them and also black a. lot of black guy when I was growing up. you know a lot of black guys were real. scary you know there was a lot of. violence so you had to fall you had to. be like I gotta make this guy [ __ ]. wow oh yeah yeah definitely he doesn't. have a dad yeah Somebody's gotta [ __ ]. bring some I have to at least bring like. yeah there was something about that man. yeah like if because you had to find. some way to communicate with bike it was.

tough back then it was different it was. a little different it was definitely. different there was a clear tension. you know you would walk up and the. record would scratch yeah dude you felt. definitely uncomfortable yeah um. you think that tension will ever go away. in the world like the attention from. because there's a lot of there's also a. lot of like blood there's a lot people. always racism always gets blamed on. white people right sure I feel like. which is very exhausting because as a. modern day person you can't do anything. to go into the past yeah I know I know.

it's tough and I get it I get the anger. yeah if I could go into the past like. you know 600 years ago or something and. work for the Coast Guard or whatever. sure you know I would have shut all that. stuff down yeah yeah what do you think. maybe but it was so normal then you. might have just gone with it it's like. being a Nazi I don't I don't know I. think I would have I don't think I would. have either just because I'm I want to. be liked so I don't care what you look. like yeah I'm still gonna tap dance for. you yeah that's a good point you know. but yeah that is tough uh but do you. think that uh and then I think the.

hatred and stuff like that it just gets. stuck in D sometimes you get stuck in. DNA you know of course I think some of. that stuff takes so like if your. grandparents went through a ton of pain. or an unfair life then I think that gets. in the DNA and it takes generations for. it to pass through right yeah I agree. but we'll find any way to hate another. group it doesn't have to just be skin. color you like Rwanda what is that the. shoot twos and the Shiites and the. tootsies yeah they're both black but.

they hate each other we'll always find a. way you know with the left and right. it's it's uh it's all you need now. yeah I wonder if that is. yeah you know I think a lot about that. is that just part of nature because. nature is that too you know a zoo if you. if you took the cages down in a zoo oh. yeah half those animals would. immediately kill the other half exactly. it's like jail they always go Aryan. Nation black guy Mexican guy yeah and if.

you're Asian. you're getting [ __ ] yeah dude oh. you're though you're a you're like a. little uh Christmas ham you're a little. Sitting Duck Sauce. oh that's good dude yeah it's just. tribal it's in the DNA we had to survive. like that for hundreds of years and. sometimes I wonder do we ever get to a. point where there isn't any of that or. is that just. you know like will that just always be. nature and this idea that one day.

everything will be completely harmonious. well it's better now than it's ever been. yeah I think especially with young. people you see that definitely. definitely like you'll see young kids of. like different ethnicities and stuff. hanging out and it's totally chill yeah. I'm like holy you don't even realize. this guy's a [ __ ]. he's got the Chopsticks and everything. like what are you kids doing yeah if you. want to be racist now you have to have a. chart you literally have to know math. like you have to be able to divide yes.

and figure it out but now it's it used. to be racial divide or gay divide or men. women divide now it's oh you disagree. with my ideology or whatever yeah you're. no friend of mine yeah you know it's. it's all become opinion based now. instead of color based so we still have. hatred we just put it into a different. gutter. um. yeah it's just kind of you know that's. the thing being it being alive is just. interesting because you're like okay. well this kind of stuff always be there. I know I just think you can't get rid of.

everything and it's all cyclical like I. saw this thing in the 70s where like. Battle of the Sexes men and women aren't. getting along and you're like oh it's. just like now we're not that different. yeah but you know you ever see a dog. about to take a nap and he circles the. rug three times then sits down oh yeah. you know what that is that's uh. Sundowners isn't it well what is that. oh a dog you know what it circles around. then it sits yeah it lays down yes yes. they're flattening the grass from the. wolf days this is in the DNA so that.

[ __ ] is imprinted yeah. so I'm just saying like we're always. gonna be tribal right yeah I think about. this like the other day I don't like. being in traffic that much right and if. it's on the interstate sometimes and. there's a hold up I'll go around the. side. sure right I'll just go I'm willing to. get up there and see the cop and he's. like hey you're going to jail that's. fine I'd rather go to jail than sit back. there yeah and wonder why somebody's. holding me up I'm with you.

but then I realized the other day what. if if like 20 cars just said you know. what. [ __ ] it we're not doing the rules. anymore yeah. how how far after that Tipping Point. does that you know like if one police. precinct gets taken over by a group of. [ __ ]. um anarchists or whatever oh yeah it's. happened how like how like it the scale. enough to tip much before everything. goes into Anarchy oh dude it's so true. uh we had a hurricane in New York a.

couple years ago and all the power went. out it took 20 minutes for it just to. become martial law you heard gunshot. glass breaking a woman you didn't know. what was going on it was Pitch Black in. the city with millions of people it. happened. 20 minutes it went to full chaos yeah. like it's so fragile the line that we're. on of like organ like. it's basically lines in the road yes. they keep us in shape but it's real easy. to to drive over that line yeah and. that's what I realized I was like oh I. can just do this like of course I can.

face some repercussions but if everybody. right now decided to do this then what. are the cops gonna do right if everybody. if yeah all it takes is enough people. saying [ __ ] this right now at the same. time exactly well that's how Gay's got. marriage yeah there's just enough of. them got together like we're gonna break. [ __ ] or [ __ ] each other or [ __ ] you in. the ass so you better let us get married. that's a good point once again yeah. that's a and that was the move gay dude. should have done like hey Governor we're. coming you're gonna somebody's [ __ ].

you buddy like all right all right do. whatever you want yeah do what you want. yeah go to go to Claire's. um I'll make it happen man you're gonna. have Claire's you're gonna have this. neighborhood. man gaze will fix the neighborhood yeah. there's something special about gays huh. they really are they're magical people. because they can't reproduce but they. keep popping up yeah isn't that why yeah. they're not even worried like Jews are. like we gotta we gotta make more of us. you know we're going away but Gabe's. like we're we're gonna be all right yeah.

yeah yes God's doing it for us somebody. is yeah well they had that you know. Kennedy was on Rogan talking about that. atrazine can you look that up where they. put some frogs in this chemical called. actress and they put it in the water. where the frogs lived and some of the. frogs are gender changed no way over. time and then he was saying that there's. a level and don't quote me uh maybe you. can quote me on this if you can bring it. up. um that there's a level of atrazine in. the water supply in some places oh [ __ ].

so that could be part of the reason why. suddenly you have people whose gender. kind of seems like in the uh in the wind. whoa fascinating and scary. what do we got here if you expose frogs. to atrazine male frogs it changes their. sex and they can actually Bear young. they can lay eggs fertile eggs. transphobian yeah that's transphibians. dude whoa and is yeah find another. article on that see if we can see an.

article we can it's the same CNN Alex. Jones got yelled at four for making that. frogs gay meme it's the exact same thing. oh it is yep but is there another. article if you go down anymore. um. oh yeah the herbicide atrazine is one of. the most commonly applied pesticides in. the world so so it's in a lot of uh. they're spraying it on crops as a result. atrazine is the most commonly detected. pesticide contaminant of ground surface. and drinking water atrazine is also a. potent endocrine disruptor that is.

active at low ecologically relevant. concentrations previous studies showed. that atrazine adversely affects. amphibian larval development the present. study demonstrates that reproductive the. reproductive consequences of atrazine. exposure and adult amphibians uh were. both demasculinized. and completely feminized as adults ten. percent of the exposed genetic males. developed into functional females that. copulated with unexposed males and. produced viable eggs.

wow scary stuff I mean that's is this. legitimate what site is this from this. has been a thing for a long time. actually okay. atrazine induces complete feminization. and chemical crash station in male. African clawed frogs dude and if you can. do that to an African you could easily. do it to a wife that's true yeah African. makes everything kicks it all up in an. African Killer Bees you're like oh [ __ ]. yeah I'm not [ __ ] with him yeah but. some local honeybee dude oh forget to. sodomize that thing yeah yeah.

um but no African is you know it's tough. I mean Africans are made out of tough. they you know they have tougher head. they're tough they're [ __ ] tough. tough people they're tough people. um and they have the hiss you know dude. I remember looking into an African. dude's eyes one time oh you could see. bro I feel like you could see a fire. like 30 000 years ago I believe it you. don't want to [ __ ] with them like the. timeline you know yeah he was just. digging a diamond mine yeah four years.

ago oh yeah now he's selling a person. Broadway. whereas you look into some you know you. looking at some honky's eyes over there. in Topeka you know it's somebody having. a muffin two weeks ago yeah exactly it's. a chick holding a small dog in there. yeah that's it with a yoga mat. um what topic were we just about to get. into uh wrap up I know you got a show oh. [ __ ] I'm gonna jump on stage with you is. that okay please that'd be great I want. to see this new old bit Yeah okay dude.

and I don't want you to have to work too. much tonight so oh yeah I'm on fumes but. [ __ ] we're gonna have fun yeah I had to. get I mean I didn't sleep last night I. just went to the airport and um. and yeah I got a new uh like disguise. when I that I wear when I go through the. airport oh really yeah what do you well. I guess you can't give it away um. yeah I probably can but I'll I'll put a. picture in okay because I don't have the. the shades on me that I wear it's just a. full Clan Hood. just walking through an airport.

credit card sign up for your credit. cards. um no there was something we were just. oh. do you think. um I gotta worry that I'm I don't want. to get roseanned here really well you I. just don't sometimes I worry though your. episodes getting clipped like crazy oh. yeah they they got. um yeah that was kind of crazy man but I. had a lot of people reach out and. support yeah and then Elon Musk shared. the episode that's insane which if he.

can if they could find a way where you. could say post uh episode onto if if. they could just find a way to make a. player on there hmm. oh like a little like a screen a TV. thing right right because now you can. put a full episode but if they could. make it where you if you click on that. like you know Twitter has a little box. is your whatever you want to watch so. you're on your on your laptop you see. like this little okay this is here let. me I can click on it make it bigger yeah. if you clicked on something that had a.

video in it right if it went if it. expanded into a bigger player like an. actual like okay you can navigate this. screen easier just for the videos things. that's like a streaming right if it's. yeah if just when you clicked on that it. expanded into a stream it into. immediately that square went into a like. morphed into a streaming platform of. sorts that's good then it would be. really fascinating because now you have. an avid player right yeah you can put. stuff in and they can move on the.

timeline easier I think that's what. they're trying to get to I think that's. a great idea and the porn on Twitter is. wild that's another thing because it's. like yes you're trying to learn and then. you're jerking off yeah you got animal. attack and then anal yeah it's a lot. it's uh Colin Quinn always says. Twitter's like giving yourself. schizophrenia because it's just a. million opinions and ideas and hate and. anger and a sandwich coming at you at. once that's a lot of [ __ ] yeah yeah it. is it's always it's like and I think. we're starting to realize that this.

stuff is really bad for our brain oh 100. and it's defeating people it's like. people don't have their own ideas. anymore and I notice I I have to give my. brain I have to say I cannot look. through stuff you gotta do it because. that's the the war these days you want a. Vietnam these days the enemy is your. whatever's trying to take your attention. I know and they're so good at it they. got that algo Tick Tock I got twerking. Chinese women and [ __ ] you're like how. can I turn this off yeah it's like Down. Syndrome guy who loves pro wrestling.

you're like oh black people seeing magic. yeah you can't beat it yeah. yeah and it just one and right when you. almost get a little bit bored they flip. it to a new thing like what's this. so did you know historically. yeah I get a lot of this historical. video uh things too that come through. um and then the murder the crime report. Brian coburger they just found a glove. dude um. I was thinking about this man about like.

with a lot of people that come out to. see Comedians and. um I noticed I have a tough time like do. you ever have a do you have a tough time. feeling proud of yourself do you think. of course yeah it's hard to absorb that. I'm working on it you gotta you gotta. sit and just tell yourself to be. grateful. we're being grateful I think but yeah. like I can feel grateful I think but I. think feeling proud of myself I'm. noticing because I notice a lot of times. people like me you should be proud of. yourself you know and it doesn't even. land anywhere with me like I hear them.

and I believe them and I know that and. it's not like I don't want to but it's. almost like no it's like you never learn. that like there was never any knowledge. put into you of like this is how you. feel proud of yourself this is what. Pride feels you know like yeah I have. the same thing why do we have that I. don't know because one negative comment. I'll I'll sit on that for three weeks. yeah. yeah but the pride thing nothing. yeah why is it so hard why is it so hard. to feel because proud of yourself you're. saying somebody's saying hey uh you.

should feel good about yourself for this. thing to me a lot of times if I start to. feel proud of myself it goes to Ego it's. like you should which you don't want. that either right right you and you. really don't you really want to try and. stay away from that so. yeah I don't know it's interesting I. wonder too if it's something that. and I'm not trying to have self-pity or. blame parents or anything but is it. something that you have to learn as a. kid like do because that's a weird thing. you wouldn't think to teach your kid. yeah but how do you teach being proud.

you know like I have I get I don't get. Pride with comedy even though we should. look you've built an Empire you got your. big house with the studio and the. specials and money and all this. but then that does nothing for me and. then if I'm at a party and somebody goes. that's a good question I'm like oh oh I. had a good question oh totally I love. that but the comedy thing is hard to to. take in. yeah man and it's funny you know too. it's like and I have a yeah I have a. nice home here and it's nothing crazy.

this is beautiful you know thank you. yeah it is but I it's it is nice right. I'm happy to have I it's funny I felt I. felt as ashamed to show my home. as I did to show my apartment that we. lived in when I was a kid just a. different kind of Shame like big. well like I I don't want people thinking. I don't want people seeing that I don't. have anything uh and then I don't want. people seeing that I do have something. yeah I totally get it. I know what you mean because you'll get.

zinged either way yeah I can't figure. out what it is it's just like no matter. you don't want to stand out you want to. be in the middle we want to blend. if you're poor everybody's like look at. the poor loser and if you're originally. look at this [ __ ] yeah and I think I. always hate I think I all rich people. when I was growing up was always the. Nemesis dude of course still is when. they found those submarine queefs they. were like oh these poor guys and they go. hey they're billionaires and they go ah. [ __ ] them like wait what yeah I still. have people with feelings I never got.

that rich hate. but it's 100 right in the movies it was. always the yeah the [ __ ] rich guy. yeah and I don't think part of you never. changes I always hate the [ __ ] rich. guy yeah yeah you know because I think. also I know I could easily the part of. me that's the poor guy will always is. always going to be there of course the. only things that are easier is just. knowing that my rent will be paid and. that I'm gonna have food but outside of. that it's like how do I. I wanna I wanna figure out better things.

to do with earning money or with making. things fair in the world I think I don't. know but do you ever think if you had if. you started feeling proud you might work. less. like that non-pride is kind of. motivating you to chase it yeah. oh yeah there's something about like the. desire to want to do things that you're. so fortunate that that's in you yeah. yeah it's it's kind of a double-edged. sword because you're never happy with. your work. so you keep working right but if you.

were happy with it you might just might. take a break yeah or slow down. yeah it's just interesting to think. about it I'm sure a lot of people deal. with that and so that's why I wanted to. think about that. um about how hard it is to accept Pride. so it makes you wonder is it good or is. it a good thing or a bad thing because. it sucks you can't accept it but it's. also keeping you a fire in your dick. yeah you know and you need that you need. people that have a fire like what if. guys like. um you know some of the greatest. creators of our time you know if. Einstein if.

um. Mattel oh yeah if Tyson mm-hmm you know. um chicken or the boxer chicken okay. but if people just got or like uh after. his first nugget he's like I'm done. right and he never makes the meals yeah. you see it pays to be insecure yeah it. keeps you going yeah. there's some value in all of it. um Soup To Nuts that's your new special. oh yeah and do you plan a tour right.

after how many people get these plans. does it matter to you what are you. thinking about I got a big theater tour. uh selling like hot cakes but hopefully. after the special it sells more we start. adding shows but again I need some new. [ __ ] material you'll come if any of. you come up within [ __ ] metamoro ah. thanks you're so funny man well trust. I'll try anything I'm throwing [ __ ]. against the wall you'll see tonight it's. gonna be a [ __ ] show yeah good good man. I'm happy to be over there thanks for. letting me jump on hey anytime.

um Mark Norman we can people can check. out your tour online on your website. everything oh yeah markdormancomedy.com. yep and uh dude thanks for making time. dude and uh congrats on all your success. bro thank you and always a pleasure to. see you there fatty yeah I'm proud of. you man I'm proud of you a couple. Louisiana boys made good what half what. the hell I mean if you would have showed. us at an open mic I would have gone. these guys are going nowhere and then. here we are sitting on some racist. Furniture. yeah oh this thing is [ __ ] I feel I'm.

warming up dude yeah I better slur if I. can set the cooling in oh yeah. um all right Mark thank you brother. thank you praise Ella. foreign. [Music]. [Music].

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