Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #361

i want to start this episode off by just. saying thank you for uh supporting me. and um and just to announce that the. netflix airing. will be on october 19th. so you can check out it on netflix it'll. be there soon i appreciate your love and. support. i appreciate anybody that supported me. in my comedy career. and um. and i'm grateful for you guys to see. this it's been a lot of hard work and a. lot of you guys have come out over the.

years and watched me work it and so here. we are. that's october 19th on netflix. get that hitter. i want to thank liquid death for being a. part of my life oh. the irony. i'm going to let everybody know that um. tickets are going on sale now for a show. in coachella california that's right. that's where it is you've heard it it's. a music town coachella california. spotlight 29 casino.

and that's uh saturday december 4th 2021. and those tickets available theovon.com. tour. as well we got dates in wilkes-barre pa. minneapolis minnesota charleston. baltimore. burlington. vermont. albany and buffalo new york. are all available theovon.com tour um we. have other places as well but those are.

the places that still have tickets. available. the new out of gas. teas collection they got new items on. there theovon.com store check it out if. you'd like to see that. if you've run out of gas a lot like me. then you might want to have something to. wear. while you out there waiting for the. triple-a for the gas friend. today's guest um. he's changing the game up himself other. people have claimed to do it but i. really see it with this man. oh he's a real humorous man and. he's probably one of the.

i mean he's just. he's just one of a kind really and he. really is that and uh he's got a special. out to lunch that's available on. youtubes and. he's got his podcast tuesday with. stories. that he co-hosts with mr joe list. i'm happy to have him here today. in our central east studio. mr mark normandy. [Music].

i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music]. [Applause]. yeah well thank you for uh coming in bro.

good to see you man of course of course. good of course good to be here i um. i was just over at um. mark norman ladies and gentlemen. are we on. we're cooking oh boy all right cut that. last thing out. i was just at the dang uh i was over at. uh walgreen. you got walgreen over there in new york. city oh yeah we got a cvs walgreen rite. aid you name it. and they had i was in line and they're.

like make sure to tag us on your social. medias and it literally just blew. my brain out of my freaking wiener man. because it was like. who is gonna like you know got my cancer. meds or whatever you know like. yeah. having fun in the parking lot cbs it. just seemed it's just crazy how. everything is like hashtag like just. like it's all connected it's all weird. it's sometimes though you gotta you. gotta admit those guys are funny on. twitter like wendy's will go off on some.

guy oh yeah. yeah if wendy's and arby's go off dawg. i'm there for that oh yeah because you. know there's just some fat guy behind a. desk and he's just like ah screw it i'm. gonna be myself. just with the face of wendy's. yeah man wendy's used to be so good oh. the square burger baby dave thomas chili. remember i loved when it was chili was. their thing that was their thing. that was their thing and you get the big. potato you pour the chili on it then.

some girl was like what where'd you. learn that then she'd blow you it was it. was a great time yeah and your family. was doing great it's like we're here yes. it felt like you know you go to rallies. or mcdonald's it felt a little low brow. but wendy's felt a little upscale he. kind of jumped out the car yeah like dad. is a good guy oh you know like you'd. have all these crazy vibes yeah i mean. he still hit me but uh. you know i was at the salad bar so i. felt classier. dude i remember two pizza hut salad bars.

used to have that pudding on them. all the chocolate pudding yeah that was. big can't believe they did it that's. after little league games it was all. pizza hut all day. oh it was so good man i remember getting. a personal pan you're like jesus christ. my own personal pan i'm doing pretty. good who read two books you know. remember that. yeah they're the book club man we were. smart we'd be in there we were like a. real coupon family oh me too. my mom was that crazy coos with the uh.

with the clippings at the end and she's. like hold on i got one you're like come. on you crazy [ __ ] we gotta get we gotta. get out of here. i got a blockbuster i'm ready to yeah no. wonder dad's gone yeah. i couldn't wait around either because. you gotta save six cents on uh you know. some ice cream sandwiches yeah. do you think like people's the. that patience has changed like oh yeah. isn't it it's almost it's almost it's. almost crazy how much it's changing it's. embarrassing like i'll be at a red light. and i'm like i better look at my phone.

right i can't make it the eight seconds. before i cross the street i'm like well. i got down time might as well tweet. something yeah. yeah but it's like who's running this. red like is this like you know it's. almost like. you're almost like this red light needs. to get its [ __ ] together kind of it. feels like like um. or just like why you know every little. bit of everything feels like. things didn't used to feel like wasted. time it used to feel like. nice yeah to have some moments i think. that's true yeah well you just didn't.

think of it as wasted time i'm just. trying to walk through it it was life it. was just oh yes i'm doing life i'm. outside i'm living yeah and now it's. like wait i could be doing something. this could be a tick tock oh the white. guy's flashing now the hand that could. be a thing yeah i'll put music to it. like what am i doing. we're not living and instagram went down. a couple days ago and there was a part. of me like i hope it doesn't come back. yeah [ __ ] it. yeah you remember that in louisiana i. know growing up a lot of storms coming. through there dude a lot of storms. a lot of people. you know missing teeth a lot of people.

missing dna remember they had they had. one guy there they found he didn't have. any dna in his body this was like 14. years old what i missed that guy they. could they couldn't. genome sequence them or something yeah. hopefully he's not a serial killer. because he'll get away with it oh [ __ ]. look if you if god gives you that gift. bro you better buy a hatchet yeah no. doubt about it um. but i remember when the power would go. out at our house dude we would get into. it was like the only time our family was.

kind of close yes same with the scrabble. the candles came out you had to talk to. your brother. yeah yeah that was weird. god it was so weird it was so yeah but i. look there's almost something kind of. cool about it like it was a. your family became a little bit of a. necessity because. you were scared kind of yes. you didn't know like. if the second anybody left the candle it. was like what happened. you know true we had to be amish for a. minute yeah yeah and it makes you maybe.

the amish are tight. yeah but the armors are pretty tight i. saw some amish at the airport uh yeah. what yeah they're not allowed in there. i think there's a. can amish fly where you looked that up. spencer do you mind i they i think some. of them can fly i don't know if they uh. you might have to be a high school. graduate. i'm not sure what their sense like what. the jurisdiction is on being able to fly. or not yeah. i mean it's all electric so. the amish are not permitted.

i'd imagine they can't can you zoom in. on that a little if you can. i think they're all banging each other. by the way. well so they don't need to fly that's. hearsay uh. that's what i've i've been reading in. the uh the amish newsletter we use. trusted english neighbors are not. permitted travel airplanes oh well these. guys must have been. they're rule breakers you know there was. a um i remember that show breaking amish. right yes and there was one of the guys. he's like cutting the grass with that. little. with the just the spinning knife yeah i.

remember we had one of those and. they interview him and he's like man i. got i was adopted i'm not even [ __ ]. supposed to be on his dog it was like oh. my god i never saw that one god tlc is. just a. misery channel it's like my 600 pound. life i'm a [ __ ] i'm an amish i'm. getting surgery it's a bummer over there. yeah i wonder why they they really. tapped into that market i guess huh i. don't have any legs someone else has my. legs. you seen that show it's like somebody.

took yeah they said they uh it's like. people harvesting organs or something. wow um yeah it's really out on a limb. yeah all right. how's uh. how's comedy in new york right now. what's it like are you in the city i am. i live in manhattan and uh the clubs are. great it's all open you gotta show the. vax card to get in but uh i'll i'll say. this that what isn't the same when i. moved to new york there was all these. hot. bar shows and alternative shows and.

those are all gone really i don't think. comics get along anymore. you know comedy's so splintered now you. know you got this group you got that. group and everything's politicized and. what side are you on and all that [ __ ]. and. you know there's like these teams now. and it's it's not good. like when you say team like is it so. it's like does it feel political does it. feel like or just like if you're not. woke enough does it feel i'm just trying. to yeah a little everything little all. that and you got to fall into your tribe. a little bit now i mean the whole.

country's going this way so. i don't know. people were different before we all had. our differences but like everybody got. along you made it work there was no. internet as much i mean there was but it. wasn't like. everything because people let all their. [ __ ] out online and then. you don't you don't see people face to. face as much and i think people are just. separating more yeah. yeah i think i started feeling recently. like. you know especially during like a lot of. the i guess election stuff and then.

especially during like be when blm. really went off oh yeah because i used. to feel like we're all on the same team. we're all trying to do our best and. everybody. you know. this is what we're doing this is like. america and it's just like how we're you. know we're trying our best. and then i felt like. everything felt like um. some some of the blm stuff to me almost. felt like a like supremacy like it. wasn't like about everybody anymore like. it wasn't and it wasn't even just about.

black people it was just like. people wanted to exercise like uh. victimhood. maybe some victimhood but supr it was. just like i don't know everything. started really fragmenting then like. yeah for me i thought oh we're all on. the same team and then it was now like. oh well just it's just about these this. group and this group and right and for. me i think maybe for some people it. didn't it had never been that black. lives mattered or that but for me i. think it always had been so to me i was.

just like well i i. i and at some points and this is just me. as a white person right yeah it almost. felt like um. not an attack on me but it felt like. it didn't feel like there was a safe. place for you to go if you were somebody. who's like well i've always. right. right respected everybody like why do i. have to behave any why do i have to like. show a cert be a certain way now or. something i i get what you're saying. yeah it i'm never we grew up in. louisiana you know it was just it was.

mixed everywhere was mixed and it i. never even never came across my mind. that black girl didn't matter right so. when everybody's like they mad or you're. like yeah i know and then they get mad. at you for not doing a bunch of [ __ ]. you're like but i've been a good guy the. whole time yeah yeah that was the thing. there was no card to show that you've. been a good guy and there was nobody. that seemed like they wanted to believe. that you'd been a good guy the whole. time yes yes i think that's a human. nature thing they get to yell at you. so they feel better right you know this. this white lady's like hey you're not. doing enough and where's your black.

square and you're like. i'm i'm banging a black chick like i. don't know. it's never enough yeah and they that but. that's their own [ __ ] they got some. internal stuff and they want to take it. out on you i think. yeah yeah well i think. i don't know it's just interesting. because. at the same time we've all been really. separated like we've all been in our own. little holes like podcasting has become. like so grateful i'm sure that you oh. yeah that you have uh tuesday the. stories i know just like that everybody.

has their own cast it's like at least. you have your own kind of channel now. yep um you got to build your island now. yeah what it does feel like that a. little bit i guess. which i. everybody can have their own thing the. internet is is big and vast and it's got. room for everybody but when people start. attacking. people that's what bugs me yeah you know. like you can have your thing and and. theo can have his thing but when people. come at your thing i'm like why what do. we do that's enough for everybody right. that's bandwidth yeah yeah that's.

bandwidth. we got to um. we got a question right here i want to. think i want to think a little bit more. about this i'm not good sometimes some. people are great at thinking and talking. at the same time. when i meet somebody like that like if i. watch like a ben shapiro or like a um. [Music]. uh. jordan peterson somebody who's brain. like it's almost like their mouth is. like a little before their brain that's. impressive it's like a wizard i know. grand wizard i'm the exact opposite i'm.

like. my i'm just faking it yeah and then i'm. hoping my brain catches up you know i'll. just keep talking and then maybe it'll. pop in yeah yeah that's how i am too. here's a white guy yeah. [ __ ]. honky theo mark um. i know you guys have similar backgrounds. uh both louisiana boys and both grew up. in uh. primarily black neighborhoods. just curious what was the best part. about being one of the only white kids.

in a black neighborhood. gang gang. baby thanks for the question man i. appreciate it definitely the snacks. we had better snacks at our house. did you well we had orange slices and uh. you know. healthy [ __ ]. but do you think that if that that came. from being in a black neighborhood well. just in comparison i'd go to my friend. eddie's house and it was just like uh. [ __ ] i'd never seen before like weird. brands and bags of cereal right like we.

had dunkaroos and like a hat full of. heart meat or something yeah. yeah gizzards or whatever the [ __ ] that. is but no but i'm saying what like i. think his question is like what do you. think. was. what was it what was interesting about. it he said what was the one of the perks. of being the one of the white kids. i showed a lot of kids how to skateboard. okay so there you go i think that would. be a real perk so you had better snacks. yeah i think so. so yeah you got to show kids how to.

skateboard. i'm trying to think. i had cable i had nintendo. this black kid would come over and play. our nintendo he was unbelievable it was. like something i'd never seen. and me and my brother were like in awe. of this kid he would just. go to town on that nintendo with with. mario he could jump up there when he had. to jump on the flagpole at the end of. mario and slide he could get to the top. oh wow. yeah. yeah that's a lot i think they have. extra muscles in their fingers i think.

so that's what i heard anyway did you. hear that growing up in louisiana that. black people have extra muscles in their. body quick twitch they would always say. they got the quick twitch yeah and uh. yeah it was true i mean you try to play. soccer with this one guy in my. neighborhood and i think he was haitian. or something so he was just he was black. and haitian so that's already. yeah i thought that was his name on time. oh yeah entendre we had an alejandra. wilson two at our school. i'm trying to think of some of the. highlights some of the highlights i. remember were that.

other white kids at school you knew some. black kids. so it was like you had a little bit more. like my white friend my white friends. didn't really know the black kids oh. that's so you could be like a liaison at. times at least you got a little bit of. like more respect if you were like. talking to the black kid yeah yeah you. could be over there you could kind of. joke around you could have a little bit. more um room with the black kids. um that was the other kid that was on. tantra's brother was liaison.

yeah but yeah no you're right you had it. was good to be dip your toe in both. pools you know you knew a little little. of both both cultures. yeah i'm trying to think of what else. other highlights were. yeah you got to be able to joke you got. to. try a little bit more humor on a crowd. that you knew was a little bit. it was a little tougher you got to own i. mean sometimes you got to even you you. didn't get to say the n word i don't. remember what the rules were back then.

but you got to like joke around about it. like you just got to be in more circles. people would call you the n-word. that was a great moment oh. yeah. i remember going home and telling my mom. man. she's like don't say it. yeah that was big and also it's weird. because we use the term minority a lot. for certain groups but like in my. neighborhood i was the minority right. you go 10 10 miles this way i'm not but. in my neighborhood i was so i felt like. you got some leeway yeah you were like.

you know you ever do an all-black show. and you're the white guy yeah you stand. out you you're the novelty you pop. and uh they would let me pop in this in. this group it feels scary doing an all. black show feels scary. yeah. it's a different it's a different ball. game because uh. i feel like they're more real and they. they kind of will not if you bombing. they're they're fine with letting you. bomb and if you kill they will let you. know you're killing but there's not much. middle gray you never do okay with a. black crowd oh it's interesting.

you're the murdering or boo yeah it's. very uh. game of jerome's kind of you know yeah. and that's a weird statement really but. it's like very game of thronesy it's a. coliseum like. coliseum because if not and black people. are always eating at their show yeah so. if not if it's not good they will eat. and you hear that yeah yeah the. silverware. a lot of heavy-handed mamas out there. and they you know some woman two-spoon.

and threw some [ __ ] through a damn uh. half a dove or something you know you're. like damn you don't even have a knife. i'm doing horrible right right yeah. that's true and and sometimes there's. jewelry clanking they've got a lot of. crazy jewelry bling i think. i don't know if there's anything tougher. probably than doing. a i don't not tough it definitely if you. had some luck with it then you'd be. fired up.

best feeling in the world yeah kill him. for a black room but. it's easy to kill if you play up the. white guy i think if we go up and go i. remember one time i did one in harlem. and they played some rap song to bring. me out and i was like i've never heard. that song before and they're like ah. he's so white. and that was too easy and i remember. going back when i'm not gonna do the. white thing and i bombed yeah so. it was uh i remember i got up one time. and even just said what's up my n words. even on stage oh that's good and they. went nuts man yeah you didn't you said n. word you didn't say the word i said the. real word you said the real word yeah. whoa that's balls this is back when you.

could kind of do i don't i mean you. couldn't you weren't supposed but it was. just a moment it's like that's one thing. about comedy though yeah it's like. there's times where it's like if you it. used to be any way if you felt a certain. thing yep. and you could trust that instinct it was. real scary so true it was it was like. somebody [ __ ] it's almost like satan. lit a little fuse in the dish. and you just start to see it freaking. boiling that's so and that would happen. every now and then cause hitting on a. girl is so scary i'm i'm with a lady now.

but in the single days. every now and then you get that devil's. spark right in the taint and it would. just work with a girl you had the ball. the confidence and she ate it up and. then sometimes it fell flat but. it's the same thing with comedy every. now and then you get that little twinkle. of jizz in your eye and it just works. yeah. yeah. those were good stuff man that was also. before like a hinchcliffe day you know. no one had a phone out so you were. saying that was like a magic thing in.

the in the moment that's that's the. point. that's the point you used to be able to. ride the moment yes and now. the moment isn't there no no no the. moment is to be something that is to be. either. monetized later. or. judged later yep or the moment is uh the. moment doesn't exist right that's true. like the value of it or i don't know. what is it i'm trying to think about it. i know exactly what you mean there was a.

a weird spark in the air between you and. this group at that time yeah and then. it's gone. and that's really what comedy was kind. of i know. yeah bill bird talked about he went to. that chapel compound and he said. all the phones are locked up and he just. said crazy [ __ ] and he forgot like oh. this is what it used to be wow and it. hit him you know like how much stand-up. has changed and how it's all video and. daniel tosh makes a joke it's on the. news you know and. that's not supposed to be it's supposed. to be in a basement and just.

right here right now yeah dude i. remember. john mayer one time. who. uh. who's so talented he like um he's like. his brain is like a brain i'm way. jealous of really yeah he just has that. like. i mean it's like uh he just has a just a. gifted. he's gifted in that freaking top sack. you know what i'm saying but he um. he got on stage one night at the comedy. store right and he did some jokes and it. was good it was good stuff it was smart.

and it's him you got to hear his voice. you got to hear him think like kind of. see how he thinks a little. and then. i want to say it was a few days later. oh he talked about on stage he goes it's. interesting because i can talk about. things tonight but it's but i can't. really talk about things he's like. because i make a joke tonight something. in this moment. three days from now i'm having a. sandwich with my mom somewhere two weeks. from now. um sitting down to dinner with a friend.

and this is gonna pop up on something's. gonna pop up on tmz and they're gonna. have framed it how they want and it's. going to ruin that moment for me. completely um and i just i just. remembered i remembered also just. thinking what it was like if you were. already so famous in one thing that you. couldn't even try something else i know. and the the crazy thing is. everybody loves the moment everybody. wants the moment but a couple of queefs. have to ruin it for everything and now. we can't have these moments yeah queef. latina dude yeah. that was my improv group in college.

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and do well by yourself. your granddaddy's getting old get him. that tremor man trim his old ass up. you want him looking shorn for the lord. don't you. treat each other well. yeah but it everybody likes the moment. but a couple of people i keep ruining. [ __ ]. it's funny it's funny do we do we. it's interesting to think about because. i never really squared it down to that's. what it is that's what's not available. that's what's not.

the mo it's just not um. man i can't understand i can't. understand what i'm trying to say i know. what you mean i'm trying to be. supportive i think that yeah these. youtube videos these youtube specials. are so cool because it feels kind of. like real i know you're doing a netflix. congrats. well i'm envious though honestly because. you're because you're youtube i was. talking to your agent a couple of weeks. ago actually oh really yeah and he loves. you absolutely yeah and he should but. the one thing we were talking about was.

he mentioned that um. he said well you know what's really. happening right now. is mark norman's special is really. popping. and i think that was a br he'd never. used that word before and i could tell. when he said it. uh but anyway he said no he was just. really like you know he said it's really. doing something for him i mean i even. noticed you're adding so you're adding. afternoon shows yeah yeah that felt good. do you feel like this is something um. that has this has been like a real mover.

of of the sticks for you uh the youtube. the youtube special 100 game changer i. mean i couldn't get a thing cooking. nobody would have me and then i put that. out and it did well and people were like. oh who's this guy i'm like i'm the same. [ __ ] guy that's the special i tried. to give you. hbo or or oxygen or whoever and uh they. all said no dice. [ __ ] and then you put it on youtube. and they're all in. and now do they want to buy i don't know. if they've been actually well i guess. it's already out but has there been now.

there's talk of like what's the next. thing and i'm like god sucks some some. people have just proved themselves where. other people just get [ __ ] oh yeah but. that's judaism you're talking about but. we're not saying that but yeah but it's. obviously it's written down somewhere. but um but no i agree with you man it's. like uh but then also it's like. i used to think that way man and i think. sometimes i still probably do but um. but then it's like i noticed i used to. want stuff. when i wasn't really ready for it oh.

well that's that's every comic. we want it all yeah you're like four. years in dude you're you're like going. on you're like going first on a show. that bill burr is supposed to pop in at. and you're just like [ __ ] man i should. be where he is oh yes valenzuela was our. dad's name richie. you know like you're out there just. [ __ ] you're quoting la bamba like. you're into it yeah. uh but it's not true and then it all. happens when it's kind of supposed to. happen i think um i agree yeah and.

that's that's the everybody goes what. advice do you have the young comics it's. no you suck no you're not ready you. think you're ready but you're not and. get better yeah because you think you're. there but you're not there it's like. when the fat guy goes i should be. [ __ ] heidi klum and you're like why. would she [ __ ] you yeah but. you got to get there yeah you got to get. there you got to get outdoors you got to. walk you got to get your breathing up. you got to really you gotta change that. shirt yeah you know yeah yeah um. but that's crazy you're adding shows now. has this happened before i mean i know. it's i know it's been kind of happening. but like has it been like like what have.

you noticed what has been some things. that have been different uh well the. social media goes up and then. people it's almost like high school. where you no one really talked to you. then you get a cool car and they're kind. of like hey well come eat lunch with us. there yeah and i'm like oh wow okay and. it's nice but you gotta that's what's. cool about stand-up or any art form i. guess is uh you gotta stay funny you. gotta stay good you know you can't just. join the cool kid table and then just. not chain you gotta still keep. progressing i think right it's a.

meritocracy kind of what does that mean. what does it mean a meritocracy like. good quality stuff. wins instead of just being the hot guy. the popular guy it's actually. you know like sports or a meritocracy. that the guy who made the most. touchdowns they win right you know yeah. i remember being real jealous er like. when i was doing comedy earlier of. certain guys. and be like man they and then it's like. now it's like i'm grateful to be where. i'm at yeah um you got to be grateful.

because how many of those. e true hollywood mtv unplugged where. they go i i'm a millionaire i live in a. mansion i'm banging a supermodel uh my. kid is in the honor roll and they're. still miserable yeah so you gotta. everything. the fact that i sold out these shows and. i'm adding shows i'm like oh my god i'm. happy here for the rest of my life this. is great i never thought i'd be here. that's cool man you gotta be grateful. yeah it's so deserved for you too man. you've always been like the funniest guy. oh i don't know about that.

have you seen uh earthquake. actually due to earthquake kills beast. kills some of the guys i never want to. follow i'll name them yeah. andrew schultz the first time i saw him. i was like i never want to follow that. guy he can really own a room that yeah. he's got he's on he's on the stool and. they're just sitting on every word he's. saying yeah and i haven't seen him in a. few years this was like when he was this. before he broke you know before he was. like getting real popular yeah um. but uh. but earthquake was one oh yeah and um.

chris d'alia was a relationship sure. that's what i really follow god it was. hard and di stefano is really hard to. find so funny so funny um and also it's. just it's different like how it flows. kind of um. so the have you set your youtube into. clips as well have you put in your clips. okay you got to have the clips yeah the. clips are bite-sized they bring people. in they go what's this from then they. watch the whole thing or. and you know how it is they say social. media is like an iv drip you just got to. keep going yeah you want to take the day.

off but put something else up and you. own it you own your special oh yeah. see that's what makes me mad. it really does. really you can do it you could do one. tomorrow. uh maybe in a year maybe in like six. months i could i got to get some more. material but yes there's no money in it. right but so well let's say you have i. think are you are you getting close to. 10 million on there eight million seven. and a half okay yeah so we're getting. there what do you what do you make on 10. million views do you think well. accumulated you get a check every month. so depending on the month it might be a.

thousand might be three thousand so i've. already made cause comedy central. wouldn't take it and they pay 30 grand. really and i've already gone way beyond. that so i was crushed when they didn't. buy it but now i'm like [ __ ] you i've. made more and i own it yeah blow me cece. also yeah also [ __ ] them yeah. what did schumer used to say she used to. always say since we're both right here. right now. you could give comedy central a gold. brick and they would bronze it oh. that's good that's what she used to say.

i think she stiffed him for the last. year of her show i think i think so i. think she was [ __ ] supposed to yeah. she's got balls. dude she's got some freaking hard balls. on the top two nice ones huh you banged. her i mean i don't know about that but i. mean i definitely. we i i you know i i have i knew her well. at sure at a certain point yeah she's a. good we got a real beetle crawling on. the ceiling here watch out everybody can. we get a shot of that spence yeah yeah. maybe get it with your phone at least. spencer or whatever just get it from.

there if you don't mind. i want to be honest about everything. that happens in here i like it i respect. them i like the between two ferns too. you gotta and you got the uh impeachment. curtain behind you oh yeah definitely. this is impeachment. [Music]. this is definitely like if they had a. civil war draft room. yes like if norv turner were freaking. picking infantrymen this would be it. though. like if frederick douglass was putting. together his fantasy team right dude i. used to have these dreams that i was.

doing uh undercover boss right but. during slavery right so i'd have these. dreams that's a great sketch oh. it was snl's gonna steal that one. i'd be like hey woody we get do we have. to work today guys and somebody would be. like no and i'd like write it down. like i just remember having these crazy. dreams and lilac was my name lilac. that's nice. yeah tuskegee that was something pretty. good the airman yes.

man you ever think about war. i don't know if we could do it. i mean we could go out there and [ __ ] in. a hole and peel potatoes and do some. push-ups but. in those trenches with a machine gun. bullets whizzing. those guys were tough. yeah you know what's left a lot of our. what's left us has really been that a. lot of that toughness yeah because life. was precious it was flimsy like you. might get drafted you're 18 19. you. might go off to germany and and die and.

never come back yeah polio every i mean. there's just so many things it was like. everything was life and death the. [ __ ] the the bombs with russia with. this with the alarms going off you had. to get under your desk and now we're. worried about latinx. you know like we have so few problems we. got to focus on uh. what's that pronoun you know yeah you. gotta make up stuff oh somebody dropped. a her over there i heard. yeah yeah back then it was like we might. die tomorrow. yeah i think i miss like uh. it just used to be different and i don't.

know if i don't know. i just don't even you almost feel like. such a um. pawn now even if you don't want to i. feel like do you ever feel like that. pawn who's just a pawn not even and just. in like a lot of it is this electronica. just how much it's like you know. people are like i don't want to be. tracked you know i don't want a website. but then like they'll be at the cvs and. enter their phone number to get like. six percent it's just like. there's no escaping.

the machine yeah we're all in it. it's scary you know people have an. iphone they go i can't get this they'll. track me i'm like you got an iphone they. got your gps they got your satellite. right there yeah you fought your father. we're all in it and you can't not be in. it. right that's the thing you can't not be. in they they're good they got us by the. balls these guys they got spotted short. and curly and do you think they are a. real group do you think this is like i. think where a lot of people you either.

you either go in this way or you owe in. benjamin you know it's like who has a. new documentary out too is that right. yep and i do want to support it and uh. he sent me a link to it man and it is. really interesting interesting he sent. me a link you know and um. and i literally watched 40 minutes of it. damn that's pretty good 40 minutes is. tough nowadays. yeah i mean we got squid game to get. after you know oh. i'm in the last episode and i can't even. get hard anymore. your dick's a squid oh yeah that's.

killing me man i'm about to blow ink out. of it. um but yeah yeah i think well i think. this is the scary part i don't want to. get all conspiracy uh alex jones qe on. you but no it's interesting something. feels weird something's weird suicide is. up anxiety anxiety's up depression's up. it's the corporations and those used to. be your thing you know. yeah right. yeah now everybody's doing it but. the corporations are winning that's kind. of the new religion that's kind of the.

we talk about biden and the president. it's all the corporate they're the ones. in power oh yeah so. i forgot my point but. their. suicide is up so we talk about how we we. care about mental health we care about. people's lives but if the corporations. are making money i think that'll just. win yeah that'll beat no one will care. about the kids killing themselves if the. corporations are still thriving yeah. they don't pay taxes it's crazy. this is the whole system is crazy you. can't help but start to feel i think i.

it used to feel like being human meant a. little more i think yo yeah wait now. we've got two bugs that are meeting and. there's one over there too holy hell. and we just got it sprayed in here. didn't we. damn did the spraying we gotta fire that. guy. man wow. if these guys uh start [ __ ] that one. definitely. oh boy. oh if they if they do sex man.

then this is going to be pretty good. yeah let's go for it we don't have to i. mean yeah we don't have it on tape but. i'll get off. we got to get a uh we'll just we could. edit we could find something yeah we'll. edit it in but are they about to meet up. yeah i think so this is a hot date they. gotta get a release for them if they're. gonna [ __ ]. this a drug deal. oh damn yeah that was a handoff if i've. ever seen it sure was huh somebody. caught that fentanyl and just hit the. road jack. well if it is fentanyl then you don't.

have to worry about the exterminator. because they'll be dead yeah hopefully. it is man yeah fentanyl is not everybody. yeah it's just weird man you can't even. do coke it's just everything feels. tainted a little bit yeah it's kooky. times man. do you do you really feel like sometimes. i can't feel it's like am i just alone. and feeling that way does everybody feel. like things seem weird i think we do. because we're a little older now yeah. and uh i think young people just grew up. with this [ __ ] and there's it's normal. but right we i saw a day before uh you.

know pornhub yeah and it might have been. a better time. but then that then do i think do i sound. like the old guy who's like oh you're. out of touch man i'm like maybe i am out. of touch but. i don't know life felt more normal. before we're too tuned in we're we know. all the news story i know everything. about the taliban. i can. see anal gaping and i can buy socks in. one sitting yeah it's a lot. yeah it is a lot it's too there's no.

the imaginati i don't know that my. imagination barely even works anymore oh. yeah that's out i used to use it to jerk. off oh yeah forget about that now that's. over dude that's a great point. think about using your imagination dude. i remember getting a set of pins like. colorful pens one time for christmas or. something. birthday or christmas. and dude somebody give me a little this. dude nikki at our school would draw a. piece piece of cooter for you for the.

weekend right two dollars wow this kid. could bro the labia and everything. majora menorah oh dude the freaking evil. angora dog he had all of it in there. well he had the freaking uh i mean you. had the freaking uh orion's belt do you. hear all this thing dude big clitter. some healthy ladies in there yeah yeah. sure yeah yeah so. there was a lot of good stuff going on. in there he sketched that for you for. two bucks yeah you have that thing for. the weekend it was like having a girl. you know right and i'm gonna get my own.

set of pins and duplicating his thing. one time ah. and kind of having my own deal but that. yeah you just used to have your. imagination i remember like drawing tits. on a pillow and just. calling it katie you know and then you. put your face right in there. fluff that pillow and that was my pillow. yeah those were the days my friend drew. women too and again it's like the amish. porn but. remember even in a car ride you'd play. 20 questions or punch buggy you had to. make fun right and now you don't have to.

make fun because everybody's on their. phone. and everybody's on their phone just. doing the same things it's all just. whatever someone who owns whatever the. little. template is it's just there's no there's. not a lot of even diversity of thought. it's like everybody's getting these ads. for untucked shirts right. right yeah. everybody's girlfriend will get them one. for christmas and think it's cute it. just start. but i do wonder is that just getting.

older and that every generation thinks. that i know exactly these kids with. their beatles music and all that and. their televisions and their eight tracks. like are we those guys now or is this. actually. a problem right it's hard it's hard to. know. and if you are if you are like 18 or. something you don't know it's a problem. anyway you don't know you don't know any. difference just normal. yeah. yeah it's tough we need to get like a. little tween in here and ask him well. trevor wallace is a he's a oh he's mid.

20s phenom oh he's phenomenal he's so. he's so funny great dude he's a cute. twink but he uh oh you take him too you. take him to a gay area where men with. money. bidding war you got that right oh. i mean he is adorable oh he is. definitely areas right there look at him. oh. come on not of hair out of place he. looks all german. cute he's jewish too i think what. wow.

baby. but he could be anything the guy's so. hilarious gonna unfollow him now but. yeah he could be anything but here's one. thing i was interesting one night uh he. was talking and. he said. dude he's like movies man like they're. so long yes and i was like what do you. mean he's like but me and my friends we. can't sit through a movie like it seems. insane wild and you can't blame them. no but when it rained outside you popped. that vhs and you watched roger rabbit. and you loved it and there were no.

interruptions nothing could interrupt. you it was like maybe the phone would. ring once right right. there was no fentanyl in the film there. was no. you weren't going to get a text message. it was a different time it was a. different time i'll try to show my girl. she's younger than me. oh it's nice is it hard though to not. make mistakes and say things that make. you sound old oh all the time i'm just. giving up i'm the old guy i can't get it. up but uh. i mean she can't i'll be like you got to. watch jaws she's like this is the most.

boring thing i've ever seen i'm like. this was a huge move it's a classic she. said i can't do it. godfather forget about it yeah. she's she's watching tick tock and then. she'll wait for something to happen in. jaws yes and then she'll go back to tick. tock when they're when they're just. swimming on the beach. so yeah it's almost like they're it's. just yeah. it's tough man if you'd go on a date. with a younger girl i went on a date and. i she said well what music put on some. music i was like all right cool just. and i used apple music and she's like.

how old are you ah. that's old now. that's old i was impressed with apple me. too but i think it's spotify i mean i. think it's just spotify oh damn you know. i don't i don't even like. yeah [ __ ]. i've been using a napster. yeah. yeah yeah. i haven't said that word in 25 years by. the way that came right out of my. [ __ ] with cobwebs on it. remember napster that was big remember.

zillow or no not zillow uh. there was one with a z. [ __ ] it was green and it came with all. kinds of viruses. oh. damn maybe it wasn't a z uh. that was. current. oh yeah. current. lime. no lime wire lime wire that was. something yeah what was that. that was like napster. that was big remember you're like oh my. god i found oasis. on here yeah.

it would take you four hours you finally. found wonder wall for free. and you already owned it and it took a. week to download it. napster wonder whatever happened to the. napster guy he would be a great guest on. a podcast oh yeah and is he rich is he. living under a bridge is he suicidal. what's going on yeah. yeah yeah i remember watching looking at. porn and my friend was like we should. print it out so he used all his dad's. printed ring and he was going right. right and then we printed out and we'd. have to peel that [ __ ] holes off the.

side you know. perforated or whatever and i would keep. it in my pocket and i remember mowing. the lawn at my grandmother's house and. every now and then i'd go. all right. and then it would go back to mowing. along still got it still got it god. do you notice your ego changing any as. you get a little bit more clown of like. dude and because ego is a weird thing. ego is like a thing that happens without. our even. it's this crazy monkey that lives inside. of you totally you know do you notice. yourself do you have any like kind of.

moments where you like you start to. notice your own behaviors changing or. not you may not it's a great question i. i think with some comics like the the. guy inside you the little gnome that. lives inside you he's such a loser and. an insecure dweeb that i'll never be. able to. be. like chappelle you can tell he kind of. knows he's hot [ __ ]. and uh i think what changed for me is. the comfort you know you go hey i flew. this this level delta comfort it's tough. to go back yeah you know or you ever.

have this one this might have been an la. thing but you do the road you're killing. in some club you're sold out all your. people are there gang gang they love you. and then you go to some club to do 10. minutes in la or or here and they're. kind of like ah that wasn't bad you're. like well i've been murdering all week. but they love you they know you and then. here they're just another comic yeah. so that's a good check. yes yeah i agree that's one good thing. about comedy is that there's with uh. with the fact that you have to keep. practicing that there's those checks you. know yeah um you need it.

some things do get a little more. comfortable but i do think you deserve. it as a comedian like being able to fly. first class or something it's like at a. certain point it's just like. or flying the same airlines you're able. to get the miles and do it that way yes. that's one thing bert chrysler told me a. long time ago he's like just fly one. airline i promise you just fly the same. airline i know but i'm such a. cum-guzzler that i'm like well the. spirit's 11 cents cheaper so maybe i'll. go with that and then you you're sitting. on wicker yeah yeah brutal you're eating.

uh yeah and you just met her. you know. yeah yeah. yeah um yeah it's a it's a black girl. that wants to be it's a white girl that. wants to be black that also wants to be. outdoor furniture. exactly i saw two dogs fight on a spirit. airline. and i heard the beef in the line when. they were doing the check-in ticketing. you could see little they you know you. could see them beefing a little and then. they [ __ ] let them loose and they. were video i almost think they did it.

for like a tick tock oh that's a great. tick tock and michael vicks uh cheering. him on yeah but that's that just shows. that service dogs are [ __ ] there's. supposed to be like anxiety and all this. but like if we got two of them fighting. that just increases the anxiety. oh yeah this one was definitely one of. them was really white kind of. like lean but. confident it kind of like uh. jack shore i don't know if you're. familiar with him he's a ufc guy but no. i don't know jack i like ufc but i don't. know sure. what's the difference between a little.

interracial uh there he is right there. good morning i don't know jack sure he. just actually he sent me a jersey i. should have uh i should have worn it. i'll wear it next time what do you know. about this patty patty pimento oh yeah. daddy pemberton he's like the beatles. little freaking he's like if any of the. beatles look good it would be him. dude whoa the beatles were not. attractive. they're british queefs i mean they're. they're ugly they're like working-class. uh bqs yeah oh there he is pemberton.

yeah he's he's he's the guy popping. right now is he gonna be all right. there he is oh yeah. look at him he looks like if you look at. that one pitcher next to bisping and on. the third row the third pitcher yeah he. looks like a cabbage patch kid dude. who [ __ ] is finally getting revenge. for all the people just hugging him and. pissing on him at night. oh i know i pissed off mine and the. wrestling buddies oh yeah. see this shows that like confidence and. being. like.

just self-assured goes a long way the. guy's got weird hair he's a little guy. he's got blue eyes he's pale but he. looks he seems cool he owns it. well it's that whole six nine vibe it's. that whole thing of like if i can be. confident enough and just say [ __ ] you. here i am yeah then i can win but i. wonder does that work for everyone. good question that's what i wonder yeah. i don't know i don't know like ted bundy. they say.

he was so handsome so confident he was. picking up all these gals in the 70s and. he did card tricks too you know that. what. i did not know that like crazy to hit on. a girl yeah. not a bad idea. but you wouldn't think that a murderer. would be doing card tricks i feel like. it seems like the total. i'm sure like other murderers like oh. look at this [ __ ] yeah you know right. look at this magician i know oh he uses. magic to murder uh. prop guy yeah i think though. i think women will not admit it but.

they're turned on by magicians. they won't admit it but i think ladies. are like oh that david blaine i'll tell. you. urbanista. urbanista. that's something i'm telling you about. today it's about. you know you want the look and feel of. city life you want the look and feel of. of a real. culture. when you're wearing headphones. and that's urbanista sleek wireless.

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fake. you know hold you down and put a ski. mask on and yeah all that [ __ ]. brian laundry all that stuff with that. man they're looking for that everybody. all these chicks want to bang that guy. yeah so it's a weird fetish these ladies. that it's also all murder all the time. they love murder do you think that and. also we're not gonna have any good. murderers anymore that's done i mean you. can even see. that's i mean it's just too much digital. footprint yeah i just can't believe.

laundry's still on the lamb even with. dog the the n-word bounty hunter on his. tail. and he's still out there he might be. dead in a ravine for all i know i don't. know i think if you've gone that long. i feel like you keep riding it out cause. you've already. you've already killed yeah you've. already been hiding for a month or two. like i think at that point. if you haven't turned yourself in or. taking your life after a couple weeks i. feel like you've got you've gotten into.

that you're in vanderslut kind of vibe. where you're like. what can i do what else yes can i god. how long can i hide what. and it's almost seems. exciting. uh yeah it's definitely life and death. it's dark but if you imagine waking up. in the morning and you or somebody that. is untraceable yeah. you nobody can locate you. here's what it seems it seems relaxing.

you think so i would be on edge. constantly i feel like at least you're. like you're you're not on your phone. you're at least spending time like out. in nature probably i feel like you're. doing the things that a lot of us need. to do if he didn't do the murder i would. say. he could be like a homeopath or. something right right he could open up a. thing in maui. yeah like a cbd shop or some [ __ ]. yeah he's probably sitting at a bar. somewhere in oklahoma. with a mustache and shades on drinking a. beer and going oh [ __ ] i'm on the news.

yeah you know and he's i bet he's. milking it like how about this [ __ ]. psycho huh and the guy next time's like. i know right. hope they catch that guy's like yeah. [ __ ] him probably enjoying it. and halloween he gets to come party too. right he can dress up. every day is halloween for him yeah. but to be able to one night come down. from the hills and frickin let it loose. do jager bombs with a freaking mime. right.

right you know just come down and just. party dude. piss on a mummy just have fun man. halloween was fun um. we got some other good questions what's. something else that popped in here. spence. this one. this guy's a hunk. would it be great. theodore. what's up fellas hey hey this is alex. from birmingham big l i am just sitting. outside. listening to the rain because i work. from home now and that's pretty much the.

excitement of my day but uh. question for mark i was just watching. the. uh chrissy chaos episode that you were. on about five or six months ago and you. were talking about. uh your seinfeld story. um how you were opening up for him and. then covet hit and. i was just curious what the status of. y'all's current relationship is have you. heard from him in the last five or six. months are you going to be working with. him again. in the future. uh just curious about that i'm also a.

big seinfeld fan so. gang gang theo i love you. uh y'all keep doing your thing man. gang baby love you too brother thank you. people love you. people love you ah not my dad. but. either way. uh the seinfeld thing is crazy because. uh. i was a huge fan i watched it with my. parents growing up and then now to have. his phone number is his bananas yeah. but uh it's almost like the hot girl i. open for him one weekend we did four.

shows we went out after i had wine had. pizza tiramisu best night of my life. and. coveted hit so then everything got weird. and then i kept trying to text him it's. like a girl you [ __ ] once that you're. in love with but yeah the relationship. just kind of distancing but you try to. keep it going with a text but. it's inevitable it's not going to last. but uh i'll text him every now and then. and he'll get back to me so i'll take it. yeah. i talked about norm dying and he was he. had some cool [ __ ] to say that's cool. yeah so.

i hate to say it but sometimes an event. happens like that you're like oh this is. a good opportunity to text the big jew. yeah you got to go bj on that dude. yeah yeah exactly yeah it's interesting. how like if you get a somebody's number. that's a celebrity or that's popular to. you yeah then like how nervous you feel. like and then you also start to. recognize how like their lives are so. busy that they just. it's not that they don't care anything. about you the friendship just picks back. up kind of when you see each other again. there's just not as much down time to.

communicate like yeah completely there's. just not as much free time as when you. were just. chilling and you [ __ ] just didn't. have anything to do yeah yeah and he's a. little older so he's not part of that. text general like we'll just text back. and forth and he's. i think he takes a while to get back to. you you know he's a thinker also. that's true. so i'm just happy because you know how. much power i have just having his i. could give that out i could call him. drunk i mean i could do so many bad. things so i'm really trying to be a good.

good little boy with his number number. shepard yes exactly yeah and sometimes. you like have all the numbers and then. you get drunk and lose one one one runs. down the hill oh there's a six yeah yeah. i hope no one knows anything yeah right. i texted him once drunk and i ha i never. did it again because he his reaction was. kind of like i could tell it was weird. he was weirded out. but he's cool he's so normal he's like. us you know you talk to him you're like. oh you're just a dude yeah and we put. him up on this uh weird pedestal but.

he's just like us yeah he's just busier. and richer. yeah and that's so real i mean i think. at a certain level of. i think have you noticed anything. different about yourself about making. money if you started to think anything. differently or. do you notice anything different i'm. screw up so kind of poor that it's kind. of baked into me but i'm trying to uh. you enjoy the money a little more yeah. well you get yourself something we get. you a little something maybe an extra. you know thing of socks or something. yeah yeah do a skiing trip or you guys.

are like is there something nice you're. gonna do that you kind of are doing yeah. me and the lady will go on trips which i. never did i was like trips that's for. you know rockefellers yeah but she's. like no we we should go and i and i need. her it's kind of a yin and yang a little. andrew yang and we can go do [ __ ]. because she'll push me to do it right. and i i need that cause it's all. coupons in here yeah yeah yeah you got. that coupon heart yeah exactly yeah. you got 40 off aorta's in there yeah. right.

but i'm noticing i go to your house or. nate's house or uh tim dillon's house or. something like that and you're like all. right all right i gotta start. enjoying my [ __ ] well also i live in a. place where houses are affordable you. know you could it's like. nate and i live in a place where house. you know. if you go to my apartment in la it's as. big as this you know two of these rooms. oh okay so so it's always interesting. for me because i go from having a house. here which is it's a nice home to going. back to my apartment which is just. totally it's a nice apartment yeah you.

know it's a it's a beautiful apartment. um. but it's like uh it's funny because i'll. kind of. it's funny because i almost sometimes. fit easier into that like i know i hate. being in a place where those i feel like. extra space that i can't use it all yes. dude i remember the first night i ever. stayed at like an expensive hotel room. dude like a suite with two rooms yeah. yeah dude i still was like if i go to. bed i'm wasting the money yes yes it's. like in castaway where he's laying on. the couch and keeps flicking the light. on you don't know what to do with all.

this this technology in the space it's. weird. yeah so i just stayed up i was like at. least i might as well stay awake and get. the money's worth. yeah i'm [ __ ] exhausted the next day. but like feeling like i [ __ ] got my. value you know yeah i'll tell you what. where money is good everybody thinks. i'll buy a lamborghini and i'll buy a. mansion and i'll buy an escort or. whatever an ipad. the money is good for little things that. like. okay let's say. you go to the airport and your flight's. delayed and you're like ah [ __ ] i'm just. sitting here for like another six hours.

now then you can go to the sit-down. place at the airport the restaurant and. actually enjoy a meal right and not not. stress over it for six weeks right that. part's nice we're little things we can. just like oh i'll just buy this and not. think about it i forgot my hoodie i'll. go buy one right little things like that. yeah that is you know what that's about. that that's a great point because i. don't think i'd ever get myself anything. fancy like i got a four ranger truck. like right i and you know i just don't. think. i don't know i just don't think i could.

fit into it well. same but then the problem is we might. have kids that end up having money dude. then i'm gonna [ __ ] hate them that's. true that's true kids need a little. struggle nothing worse than a rich kid. oh nightmare. sometimes a lot of times anyway. sometimes it's somebody that breaks the. norm that's true. but also the rich was my arch nemesis. always it still is kind of like some. people would be like well you make some. money and i was like but i'll never be. rich dude rich is also an attitude it's. an attitude yeah i don't have that. either you know it's like my dad's gonna. bail me out right right yeah do you know.

my father is he start throwing money at. people and [ __ ] yeah i don't have any of. that yeah like my dad has liver spots on. his arms okay. so he ain't bailing anybody out of. anything dude you know and he's drunk. right now and he [ __ ] is the one that. drove me over here so. my dad has the mismatch suit you know. the blazer don't match it's like like a. dark blue and then like a like a gray up. top it's bad. dude.

my dad would get so drunk dude he. wouldn't would dry i guess he would. drive home and just kind of crash his. car we had like this kind of like. really sh like. slow like the gradient was real. it was a real like not a heavy gradient. getting into the bottom of this ditch so. he would just kind of ease his car right. into the bottom of it oh yeah yeah i can. just finish out the night. when i did you ever go tubing and yeah. we went that was a big deal uh we'd go.

too big where would you guys go in north. of covington when you guys go like uh if. you said it i'd know it. on the bogafalaya. pocafellaia something like that. bogachitta that was it bogachitta yeah. we'd go there all the time and uh one. time i was with a girl yeah dating a. girl. and. this is a crazy story we got of course. you just drink all day on a tube just. floating in the sun we had sex on a sand. bar yeah i've been there yes yeah dude. and there it is right there there it is.

yes so and you remember you go on a. school bus and they give you the tube. it's the whole thing. but. sex on a sandbar i remember it flopped. out and hit the sand i put it back in. and she was pissed wow that was an. accident america dude that cures rabies. yeah you know you need a little grit. and uh. so then. we got way too drunk and she had her. mom's car and we were driving back and. we had a friend in the back seat and he. was like gun it got it and she gunned it. and a turn came up out of nowhere and.

she flipped the turn the wheel and we. flipped into a ditch. lana you know we're upside down where. you unbuckle the seat belt and you fall. still drunk still drunk oh yeah and it's. dark out and it's in the middle of the. woods. and the cops had to come they had to get. a tow truck to get the car out y'all. couldn't flip it over no no it was like. in that ditch like it would fit in there. like a cookie and a cookie. pin yeah tin. and uh. so the cop came and i remember she was. in a bathing suit still and she was like. you know a hot 16 year old her boob was.

out. and you could tell all these fat you. know louisiana cops like ho ho ho. guarantee and they're [ __ ] wiping. their brow like they're putting blush on. yeah yeah they're trying not to but it. was a full nip and she was crying. and they're like they're all hard yeah. they're they're loving it and they're. like oh willie ray get over here get her. information that willy ray's like oh. [ __ ] you watched him notice a tit it was. it was. fun oh we got out of that one but uh. those were those were young days when. you were 16 and just everything just.

kind of fell into place it worked out. yeah there was something about the. pressurelessness of that time and i. think it was just. i don't know if that was society i think. it was just that age it was like. like now i think kids are still just. kids that like the phones and stuff is. just part of their thing i think you're. right i think you're right here's what i. hope for. everybody's all you know wokey and. annoying and all that and i think the. kids younger kids see that and of course. they're gonna go the other way yeah so i.

think they're gonna rebel against that. and start saying horrible things again. yeah so that's that's my hope. yeah i would like to see a little bit of. it yeah because the awoke thing is just. impossible the end of it is it's uh. there's no end to no end you can't be. good at moral enough. did you see the guy outside of the sonic. the other day who with the the woman or. the man who was saying. they were calling me sir inside and the. guy was like what do you want me to do. you know i'm sorry you know oh no we.

bring that up. oh yeah yeah it was this was a hispanic. guy yeah your entire staff has been. calling me sir okay okay uh you wanna. park. i why don't you tell me what we can do. now no because i can do the same thing. with you okay but your entire staff has. been calling me sir the entire time okay. this is obviously me looks like a sir. right now. okay okay.

can we please move to the side. no what. look i'm sorry and i apologize for what. happened. okay if they did that or oh i mean uh. why do you want me i'm sorry what else. can i tell you i mean now. what else can i tell you.

this guy works at sonic yeah he's. i don't know maybe if they call you a. sir i don't know what they did then. because they saw the name on my credit. card and they were being they were not. being nice people well i mean that's. what your name in the card guy what you. want whether one what do you want them. to tell you right this is a great thing. that has nothing to do with it it does. you don't have any someone in the back. that they don't see. that's paying okay ma'am so why would. they intentionally do that can you tell. me what your location has done to be.

transcompetent because clearly they are. not well it's just tough because you're. what he okay they made a mistake and. what should he kill himself like where. do we go from here and you know my name. is mark you call me mike i just i go. yeah how you doing you know like. i get it it's this is important to her. and all that and she's trans and. whatever but like. they [ __ ] up and it's over now and. he's apologized like what else can you. do yeah he goes on to apologize. literally 18 more times and the person. just land back like it just like it's.

become this game of like how do i catch. someone to feel that and then and then. that makes you feel some type of way. yeah that's the sick game i think that i. don't understand that much like. this internet game of like who do i how. can i catch like yeah you know who do i. catch with a bag of n words over here. you know or like uh exactly like how can. i go back in your time in your life and. see if you wrote down the n word on a. napkin yeah you know it's just like uh. in the 90s when i it was nobody's. perfect now if it if you're not perfect.

we'll figure it out and ruin your life. yeah you know and it's it's weird. because like if you say like [ __ ] or. something they'll come after you and. they go that's him that's where's your. compassion that's so mean to retards and. you're like yeah yeah i get it but. where's your compassion for me [ __ ]. up well i mean. you're you're you can't have it both. ways if you want compassion you got to. be compassionate too. and it's just i'm not yelling it at a. [ __ ] person right i'd never do that. no i'm calling my buddy ernie [ __ ].

yes and we all know ernie's a [ __ ]. target. well we've been around him. exactly you know even as both of his. wives had left him okay. for reasons they didn't want to disclose. in court jerking off with conditioner. which is a child's move yeah come on at. least get the lotion earned just sad to. see yeah you hate to see it and i think. eventually it'll things will flip where. people will turn on that. person person yeah.

yeah i think enough so where there's. just like i also think that whole thing. is losing its value you know it's like. um if everything is an 11 nothing is an. 11 right. right. but the scary part is when the platforms. that own our ability to communicate. that's when it gets real scary yeah. that's what's going back to corporate. corporations right yeah that's what i. think people were like this person the. president this first president i'm like. att he's the president exactly we owe. them money i don't know buying any money. yeah has given me money actually yeah.

dude buy their [ __ ] bro the. government will give anybody money i. know it's the best loan ever does money. it almost doesn't even seem real anymore. sometimes no money is completely just in. up in the air poof you know it's on your. phone you don't see you used to go here. here's 20 bucks and it was 20 and you. earned it yeah there was a thing right. now it's just whoop there you go i just. sent you money like what do you send me. money that's the new normal money has no. value no meaning you used to mow a lawn. and they'd put they put the money in.

there put it in your pocket you had a. wallet felt the money and you felt. something like there was a thing like i. did something look what i have exactly. now you can't just you can't even show. it nobody cares there's no no that. doesn't work at a strip club what am i. gonna venmo this skank yeah come on no. you put a dollar bill in there soon yeah. it used to mean something you were. halfway into the panties when you put. that thing in there that was exciting oh. um. do you uh has it been tough for you to.

like send your hour with did you wait to. get a whole new hour to go out. uh well i was writing a lot while. having that hour because i was it was. getting embarrassing like i did that. hour for years and i would go to clubs. and go hey i like you man but i came out. last year and did the same [ __ ] and i. was like yeah you're right. well i just like the most prolific i try. to be prolific but i was really trying. to hammer that hour and just really. perfect it and hone it so once i heard. one guy say that it blew my mind and i. changed immediately and just was writing.

like a machine but uh. now i have like a new 45 that's not on. anything and it's it's it's cooking yeah. but you always got to have that new. stuff kind of on the back burner yeah. because when you put you're putting out. a thing yeah and are you nervous because. now you're back to zero. yeah i got about yeah i'm doing like 50. minutes right now which is about the. amount of time i do sometimes i'll do up. to an hour but i think sometimes people. also want to go they want to see you. they want to enjoy it they want to go. back home yes um 50 minutes is perfect.

but it also depends if the vibe of the. show is going great then it's great yeah. if the vibe's not then i got to grab. some old stuff and kind of put it in you. got that right and uh. and so that definitely gets kind of. scary and i'm just waiting for like. moments that happen where i'm like oh i. found this is good this is good. i can use this this is going to be. perfect you know let's get this uh. let's get this. question right here that came in from. jack harlow. arlo good name jack harlow yeah.

uh what's up theo what's up mark uh my. name is tyler from texas um. so there was this hbo show called. talking funny uh. jerry seinfeld chris rock and louis ck. where they sat down for like an hour. long discussion or whatever. and part of that they were talking about. their different methods for building an. hour. for their act or whether maybe it's. going to become a special or whatever. and jerry seinfeld. took the approach of like you take about. 20. remove it and cycle in your new stuff.

that way and so over time your act is. this like ever-evolving piece um. i got to see mark a couple months ago. and i kind of noticed something similar. with this material where it's like. there's definitely like uh. staple jokes of yours. um as well as like you trying in the new. stuff and uh this grace that by the way. i was curious is that something that you. picked up from seinfeld that kind of. method of removing a little bit of the. old to push in the new um. or you know what's your general method.

for building an hour. um same question theo uh gang gang. thanks guys gang baby i'll let marc. andrew thank you tyler for the for the. question man and for for paying. attention to the show what do you think. more well first of all i can't believe. anybody cares about stand-up who doesn't. do it which is it's i always assume when. we go into stand-up people get bored. yeah but maybe not maybe not this guy's. uh you know at comic-con apparently but. uh. yeah i i i think he nailed it it's just. kind of the natural progression you got. your your pillars like i'll do the the.

plant joke and then i'll do the the car. joke and these murder every time so you. you kind of pepper those in like m m's. and trail mix like oh that's the good. stuff. and then you try your new and you got. your your half-baked idea and then when. you start losing them hit them with. another eminem yeah and then you close. with a big eminem at the end but yeah. eventually in natural progression it. will then the new stuff will grow and be. great and then you can just start. letting go of those m m's yeah they just.

fluff off and then you got a new hour. but it takes a while. yeah it takes a while it takes a while. and i think that's one thing that's. scary about putting stuff out i think. like i got this special coming out in i. think a week and a half or something but. i'm also sometimes i wish like man i. think the true value would have been in. not putting it out at all. and just touring forever just touring. not just with that material changing my. material. but not having like these definitive. moments where i have to change it the. jay leno method he never put an album.

out because he was like i want to keep. this yeah which. i don't know maybe there's good good and. bads to both like if you put this out. it'll force you to write new [ __ ] which. is gonna suck but you have to do it but. if you don't put it out you can just. kind of do it forever and there's no. sometimes we need a deadline as. comedians we're a bunch of lazy cucks. yeah we are kind of huh. i think we can get lazy if we would get. lazy because we knew we're capable of. making things happen at the last minute. exactly exactly that book report man you. would wing that [ __ ] thing dude.

wing it bravo one time it was about i. don't know what was about but i remember. taking a bunch of stuff out of our. kitchen and putting it in a bowl and. then putting like this like something on. top of it you had to put your hand in. there and reach in and grab it was like. literally did it in the morning before. school didn't make any sense yeah and. got an a and there'd be like some girl. who'd like made some [ __ ] out of like. right find it or something. and fond it also went to our school dude. find fondant uh. bayham. that was a girl that went to our school. funded yeah the best the best black.

names i feel like were in louisiana oh. yeah we had some great ones but then the. last name would be kind of normal it. would be like uh latrine williams yeah. you know bayham washington wilson yes. all presidential yeah yeah yeah go. figure that out yeah that's where you. need to go look if we want to trace some. some lineage of some real shady [ __ ] man. let's start calling out people with the. last name truman okay. that's what i'm saying if there's a. donny truman out there or freaking. randall truman bro we see you fam i know.

and george washington must have been. plowing a ton of. afro-americanese because there's so many. are named after him. he was like like banging the whole nba. yeah i know it's unbelievable yeah good. for him. unbelievable but yeah. good for you i can't wait to you got a. title for it or is it a secret it's. called regular people oh all right all. right regular people i can't wait to. watch because i love a special because. you get that intro you get the crowd i.

get to see all i've never seen your. whole hour yeah so i'm excited to watch. thanks man. yeah and yours people can watch it if. they haven't seen it it's on youtube you. got that right um. yeah a lot of ways real envious man just. the fact that you still own it man. that's real there's so much there's. something about that. for me that's like the biggest thing i. feel like yeah yeah i could do do. anything i could sell it to lithuania. television or some [ __ ] right you know. gotta get a couple paychecks off of it. but it's nice i can chop it up.

i can do whatever i want with it it's. nice to own yeah because netflix i mean. look we all love netflix but they own. your [ __ ] and you get one check and. that's it yeah. it's kind of scary no residuals no. nothing yeah it's a little scary man. it's a little scary and then also the. way that things can just disappear right. there that things can just disappear so. easily on netflix whereas i feel like if. you get. a hint of you. on youtube say somebody watches a clip. of you and i right. yep then there's a chance they're going.

to get served this. whereas on youtube on netflix right. i'm not in a bunch of stuff on netflix. so it's not like you're going to see me. and then they're going to say suggest. this yeah and if you don't get suggested. something. there's you never find it it's over. netflix is a real grab bag you know. what's weird about netflix too is you go. to your friend's house and you're. scrolling through his you're like. none of these shows are on mine what the. hell is all this yeah cause they put you. in this algo and then you've got a whole. different algo yeah it's weird it's like.

going through your friend's cupboard. you're like damn i never heard of uh you. know. twisty fruits yeah but that's in your. world and you go back to my world and. it's cocoa puffs yeah. yeah it's like we're all in different. algorithms but there's not that it's. like. um. that's the thing we're all falling into. these algorithms that's the president's. man those are the presidents of the. corporations man it really is that's it. yeah it's like it's gonna become like oh. we were algorithm buddies or something. like that's gonna be a term one day yeah.

like dude we were freaking algo babies. we you know both of our moms are in the. same algorithm yeah that's true like let. me read your algorithm somebody will. literally. read someone's algorithm and predict. their future which will be so easy to do. yeah. they said uh sam harris said your phone. knows you're gay before you do wow and. it's true because it'll notice like oh. you stopped on this uh hot guy picture. for longer than you stopped on the hot. girl or whatever so yeah maybe you'll. decorate your room with this pink sea. salt huh yeah exactly.

and uh. my girl. she you know it's hard to buy presents. for your girlfriend because you don't. know what the hell they want and you. don't want to [ __ ] it up. but her phone goes you'll like this and. i'm like i need to get in tune with her. phone to know what the the gift is yeah. the phone knows her better than i know. her. i can't get her off yeah oh yeah that. vibration though she puts it down there. and calls herself. yeah oh yeah yeah yeah. let's look at uh let's get a couple more. questions that came in from mark man and.

then we'll send him on his way. you got a handsome fan base i got to. tell you oh thank you man yeah we got a. lot of great people man we got a lot of. great people just hit the road dude it's. so crazy to see people come out isn't. that crazy to see people start to come. out crazy and you want to give everybody. their time oh you want to give everybody. it's like you want to thank it's like. you want to thank them so much. you just. oh it's hard and it feels exhausting. yeah yeah. you're like i've been waiting so i've. been trying my since i was [ __ ] nine. years old yeah to make you laugh and.

finally here you and i are yeah. totally and then then you go hide in the. green room yeah yeah this is the. weirdest. weirdest thing but that's how it is. look at the guy theo mark what's up boys. how's it going uh theo saw you out in. cedar rapids last year uh killer show. and it was great meeting you man mark. long time listener at tuesdays with. stories love the pod. um my question for you guys is what's. the craziest heckler story you've ever.

had and i'm not talking just like you. know some banter back and forth i'm. talking about like got pissed rush the. stage etc um i've never heard that asked. on here before and i just wanted to know. thanks guys love you both. cheers brother thank you. that's a classic. that's a good one you got one well i've. had so many bad heckles uh but the one. that really [ __ ] me up was. i was doing a i was kind of new i was. probably like three four years in i got. a college gig which was huge yeah good. money fly you down put you up.

and i was in florida and it was called. florida atlantic it was an all-black. school which i didn't know but i don't. give a [ __ ] yeah so i show up and i had. to follow a rap group it was like kind. of a talent night. i had to follow a rap group and they. were like. twirling shirts going kill whitey you. [ __ ] the cops i'll kill you you know. [ __ ] this [ __ ] or whatever and they're. killing like the whole place is jumping. yeah yeah it was the dnc basically yeah. yeah. yeah. and uh i remember there was like a. little cute nerdy black girl with a.

clipboard going okay you're next and i. just want to let you know it's very. diverse like it's not diverse it's all. black i'm the diversity. but whatever. so. it was me and this other kid and we were. both supposed to do 30 minutes. so uh you know these people don't want. 30 minutes of one guy so he goes up. first and they trash him immediately and. he gets off after like a minute and a. half and i was like. what are you crazy you got to do your. time at least so he's like [ __ ] this i'm. out of here i'm calling my agent he was. like a. he had self-esteem this guy oh yeah yeah.

yeah so then i'm like all right and then. they bring me up like oh we got another. live one coming up oh baby and then he's. looking at me like oh this guy's a goner. like i totally set up for failure. so i walk on stage and i'm walking to. the mic the mic is like right where that. camera is and i haven't gotten there yet. and some guy goes look at this [ __ ]. kills kills. huge laugh so i was like all right all. right i can handle this so i was in such. a new york state of mind i was like damn. man what if i was actually gay and he. goes no no you are.

that got an applause break he's getting. high five they're crowd surfing this guy. he's a hero and then i try to do 20. minutes uh on uber after that and they'd. i just ate my lunch for half an hour but. i did my time. yes yeah but it was brutal man that was. a i was just watching my watch tick. long half hour long 30. like the irishman why do you think oh. the irishman's unbelievably bad it's so. long doesn't even make any [ __ ] that. or the party whatever i don't know the.

difference between the two the [ __ ]. shit's horrible. you know what i'm saying dude yeah some. of it's so [ __ ] bad. um i would rather watch that guy sheamus. from wwe wrestle that seems more. authentic. to the irish mafia. um. but dude why is it that comedians can. take that [ __ ] what that thing. because that's for some people that. would kill them that would put them into. a mental breakdown that's true i think. cause we have our me our mind is already. so mean to us so we're like oh i can. handle this and they were kind of.

laughing so in a weird way i was like. they're trashing me i'm the punching bag. but at least i'm creating entertainment. even though i am the butt of the joke. we're all having a good time i mean i'm. not but they are right so there's a part. of me like at least this is kind of. fun for them. but it was it was harsh. yeah even though i'm the butt of the. joke at least they're having a good time. yeah like if i wasn't there they. wouldn't be laughing right and it's. they're mocking me and it hurt but at. least i'm a part of something yeah. so i i took it.

yeah man i uh i have one like that. university of north florida they booed. us off this they booed me off the stage. they didn't know how to come back out in. florida yeah they didn't know i had to. come back out between each it was a. battle of the bands. oh yeah they know how to come back out. again between each band i burned all my. supposed to do five minutes with each. band right i told him i had 40 minutes. bro i had [ __ ] 18 minutes. i burned it all out the first time and i. had to come back out [ __ ] like six. more times oh my god you just gotta. start riffing what is that a clock over.

there holy hell oh it became a running. gag when i ran at least about the third. time the fourth time it was like no way. this dude's back. i actually physically became the joke. there was one time and they used to have. this room in la called um. [Music]. it was like at a bar cafe in ucla and. westwood. it was like uh. college kids are ruthless yeah and it. was ucla bar so there's no. chick it's a it's a sad environment. like compared to what college most.

college kids are used to yeah. so. one kid starts tackling me in the. awnings dude he's talking [ __ ] right i. got just lost it man i get off stage i'm. coming at the dude start choking him. what yeah choking the guy wow i really. had the mic in my hand the whole time. i'm choking him right yeah ah you could. hear the swallowing oh yeah you could. hear it all it's crazy and i'm like why. were you being so mean to me just the. [ __ ] lamest thing you can say to. somebody yeah. but that was that and people were dying. laughing because he and i are tussling.

but the mic is right there good for you. but i had one similar hartford funny. bone this is years ago it's probably. like. 25 people in the room i'm eating my ass. this guy is in the front row i'm talking. a real nerd guy like a fat guy with. glasses and a beard and he had. a woman with him. and another like a sister and his cousin. or something and he's just this guy is. like a loser and i'm bombing and they. keep doing the thing where they mimic my. bomb like i'd be like oh mick ultra huh.

that's the punch i need to go mick ultra. that was bad and then i'd be like well. what about a shag carpet he's like shrek. carpet nothing there you know and it was. no one could hear it but me so he was. like taunting me so i just lost it on. this guy and i was like [ __ ] you you. piece of [ __ ] and apparently he was like. kind of downsy or something so maybe he. was not [ __ ] with me maybe he was. just being [ __ ] or something and i. but i didn't know that i kept going at. him and. this is when it gets really bad when. you're like [ __ ] you and i just got.

angry it wasn't even funny and this guy. in the back goes go easy on him so i go. well [ __ ] you too what the hell i'm up. here alone blah blah blah. so eventually the guy. got up the the [ __ ] guy got up and. was like what the [ __ ] i was like oh. [ __ ] this guy's all you know a little. little melted and i was like oh [ __ ]. all right well what are you gonna do and. they threw the kid out and they had to. throw him out and like he was like kind. of moaning and stuff oh it was bad. and then i had i had like another 20 to. do after that it was a nightmare so now.

the other crowd hates me because i. i [ __ ] on them it was going to hell man. yeah i didn't know i didn't know you. didn't know and that look i had the same. thing happen man um that's a very good. story and it's better than mine but i'm. still going to tell mine please i'm in. san francisco and it's at like a weed. conference or something right and i. don't even smoke weed so i'm at the. place people are blowing weed smoke in. the air and stuff and so i start getting. just exuded out on stage bro there's a. guy dressed it's like the san francisco. weed conference or just some some.

some. it was bad yeah. um pre-legal or or legalized it's. pre-legal okay so we were still a big. deal there were like booths there was. like thc stuff but it was still they. were pushing the limits right and some. guy was dressed like a captain like a. total captain brings me on stage at that. point i am so cooked out of my gizzard. like the whole people just been blowing. joints it's the i'm the last act of the. day it's been an all-day affair uh-huh. there's probably 13 people in a room. that would seat maybe 150. oh boy all. these folding chairs.

the guy in the front is mentally. disabled right nobody tells me yeah. nobody tells me i get up there i didn't. eat i literally didn't even know what. was going on i didn't know that i was a. comedian i didn't know what was. happening oh you were that high i don't. know if i was an auctioneer i didn't. know what was happening. it was not good right and this guy. starts saying stuff messing with me. and um. finally somebody yells out could have. even been you yells out that guy's. [ __ ] right. and i was like well put a sign on him.

then you know right that's a good line. and then finally. it was the first last time. [Music]. and i quit i got down i was like i'm. done i think it had literally been four. minutes dude. but when you're high four minutes is. like a week i think everybody the guy. there was like man you did great dude. you did great you paid me my money. all right unless i have to be an agent. yeah they paid me a thousand. bucks that's big. that was big not a bad gig just trash. this uh downsy kid and get a check yeah.

could be worse. i think it was bobby a bear so i think. it was yeah oh deep cut he passed away. didn't he yeah he did god that was crazy. in new orleans he was every mom's hunk. like he was like the guy all the moms. like camilla red beans yeah yeah. i love to have the coach for kids that k. like you don't need a coat in new. orleans like we're doing coats for kids. every time we kick a field goal we get. every kit every kid gets a coach you. thought about that you're right it was. like who needs a cup of code a meal yeah.

i'm gonna hug. i saw morris bart was still going yeah. it's crazy is he really yeah i see the. the billboard he runs that town wow i'm. on your side one call that's all chip. for stall you ever see that oh he takes. care of it yeah how about a step that. used to work for him door. furniture or 1825. too lane wow now we're doing local. commercials yeah that was fun though and. remember they had uh morgan's presents.

did you ever see that yes yes that was. big chopsley. let's get a picture of it so yeah. this was pre-internet entertainment bro. you know who you got to go see suicide. boys man who's that they're this new. orleans like uh. they have they're this new orleans. it's kind of a rack rap rock it's their. own thing man really yeah they're great. though yeah let's see morgan's presents. this was like pbs in that picture what. do you call it public access.

yeah i didn't i had to leave new orleans. to realize it was a small town. yeah. yeah you didn't realize when you got. somewhere else you're like oh they don't. even have that yeah exactly yeah. yeah louisiana was nice that was one. thing that was nice about everything. kind of had their own shows every area. in town had their own things yep that's. another thing that's kind of a bummer. about everything getting so. commercialized just so. like you know. there's just no more like small chains. it's just all of it kind of goes by the. wayside yeah yeah remember like getting.

a job at the at the row bears i was a. bad boy like that's over. i don't we went christmas caroling we. went uh trick-or-treating it just feels. like that's all kind of. old now antiquated yeah it feels like. some things are just uh. like some of the fabric of society has. come unwoven i completely agree and i. don't know. how and why and it makes you feel like.

your life doesn't mean as much because. you had really invested in kind of the. template of what. everything was you know yeah now meaning. is clicks and followers and likes and. now everything is race like every book. now is like why this was racist. yeah it's just like you know frederick. douglass was racist i saw the other day. a book really i'm like what damn. what it how what like when is that gonna. end i know wow yeah well it's like you. said you got to have a gotcha on.

somebody it's like a kill. you know yeah and you want a big kill. you want to take down uh. louie or whoever it's gotta be a big. kill. yeah yeah it's tough you know. nobody wants to build you they just want. to tear down [ __ ] now right. it's way easier it is way easier. yeah we got to fight we got to do our. best man it's hard sometimes yeah. i think we're out there i think people. like us who just kind of want to. live and have relationships and uh.

connect i think we're out there yeah i. think that's the majority actually i do. too i think that a lot of those people. probably there's just not they're just. not busy doing all of that [ __ ] that. other people are doing yeah yeah and. that's way healthier yeah it is you know. sometimes you're on twitter and you just. get wrapped up in the [ __ ] then i go see. my brother he's got two kids and he's. pushing him on a swing and yeah i'm like. oh yeah he's not thinking about this no. he's worried about his kids getting uh. pudding yeah. yeah most people are living yeah when. you get outside of this most people are. living in a pretty regular universe man.

yeah yeah we just we can't forget that. um let's get this last question that. came in here mark and we'll send you on. your way you got how many shows you got. this weekend five six six. three on saturday two tomorrow one. sunday is this your first time doing. three shows in a night no no i've been. doing that a while but if you want to. pop by i don't know if you're busy um no. pressure i appreciate it i am you you. have one on sunday too yeah. maybe. maybe i'll try to make that one no. pressure because i got uh i'm heading. out of town tomorrow oh okay.

bye. what's up guys my name is jake i'm out. here in houston mark i saw you last time. you were out here is a great show. traveling like y'all do. i'm wondering. what's the weirdest proposition that. you've gotten from a fan. not like uh come to my hotel room come. to the bar. thinking more like. have you ever gotten something like. someone's like come to my apartment and. bottle feed me there's something weird.

anyways and i'm just curious. would an animal even ask you that. interesting that's a good question i've. had definitely had the swingers like hey. we swing if you're interested blah blah. but uh the craziest thing was one guy. was like i live out on a lake in a. cabbage a cabin. i try to say cabin and cottage and i. said cabbage but uh. lived on a cabin in the lake and he's. like come out here. i'll pick you up from the airport it's. like a three-hour drive fly in early. we'll fish we'll grill it up we'll watch.

movies and i'm like. dude this is a lot i wouldn't do this. with my my. aunt right and you want me to do it i've. never met you you know and i i know they. listen a lot of pods so they think they. know you but i'm like that sounds like a. nightmare yeah. but. yes extensive people offer you extensive. things come in a few days earlier yeah. you know let's live it up man yeah we'll. do something chill man we'll get a. bounce house right right you know we hit. the grocery you're like this is sounding. this is too intimate yeah it's too some. of it's too intimate yeah and it's nice.

you're like oh that's sweet but i would. that would be work. yeah just the car ride from the airport. to your three-hour cabin is like damn. what are we gonna talk about. that's a lot yeah. so yeah the [ __ ] like that is tough but. it's also flattering. right yeah it is flattering that. somebody would be brave enough to spend. that much time with you. yeah exactly and then i think i'm kind. of jealous because i would assume no one. would want to hang out with me but. they're like oh he'll want to go right. i'm like what kind of mindset is that do. you think people want to go hang out.

with you yeah. and then your time gets so busy you're. doing the shows because people want to. see the show right but then you don't. have as much free time as you used to. exactly and then you got to do your gym. you got to do your your solo pod or. whatever it is so. it's all such a. it's life man this is where we are yeah. yeah and it could be worse oh yeah i. know yeah and i'm not complaining i'm. just trying to examine it yeah and. sometimes the examination is um. you know you have to just be honest. about the examination even if.

uh. even whether things are going good or. not good you still want to try and get a. be able to look at things yeah you're. here you gotta what do you call that. dissect and analyze all the time yeah. yeah man we're just a couple of. formaldehyde frogs out here man oh you. got that right boy remember that [ __ ]. where you cut that open and collapse oh. yeah and try to get the hot girl in your. group but then you realized how gross it. was what you were doing yeah yeah. that was better though cause at least. you weren't. writing or reading you know it was weird.

to cut up on that pig but it broke up. the day a little bit yeah it was kind of. an ice breaker too. my teacher remember was dipping when we. did that oh yeah yeah that was some real. louisiana [ __ ] we had a teacher that got. busted from. homosexuality actually but uh that was a. crime. but. he uh his replacement came in during the. pig cutting so like second day of pig. heading we got a new guy damn and it's.

this bald-headed huge guy. and he literally was drinking a [ __ ]. like four gallon jug of kombucha. mushroom juice and no one had ever heard. of it and he's like i'm telling you this. [ __ ] will save lives and we're like this. guy's [ __ ] insane. he just starts eating the pig. that's crazy bro the pig he touches and. they start coming back to life. but it blew our minds and we'd never. heard of it and then for 10 years i. didn't hear it right and then it was. like the biggest thing in the world but. this dude i gotta find that guy and.

figure out how did he learn about that. let's get him on the pod because that. dude was sipping heavy yeah i did. shrooms last night yeah yeah how was the. experience good i love shrimp i think. it's the best drug yeah it's a popular. drug man um i've thought about uh using. it to try and get off of antidepressants. you know doing the micro reducing the. microwave it works it helps the euphoria. yeah i've had friends that have had. success with it um. because i'm sick of being addicted to. like just like even antidepressants like. i started taking these [ __ ] a day.

like i don't even know what i'm like. yeah am i better i know. every doctor you guys see they're just. like oh just keep taking them you're. taking them just keep taking them see. that's scary yeah but you seem fine i. mean i don't know what's going on in the. in the personal life but i feel okay i. think i just uh but you wonder like how. long. you know yeah does it ever click and you. go i don't need them anymore right my. dad was the scary dad growing up you. know big forearms and he gave you one of. these. scary dad and he started taking. antidepressants when i was in college.

rheya sunshine wow so weird he's like. how are you he changes his tone and. everything and you're like you know you. still flinch because he was so scary but. uh it it 180 them totally different guy. damn it's weird it's almost kind of like. who's this guy right that's the thing. yeah you're like sometimes that's like i. feel like i um like there's thoughts and. ideas and like sometimes i think because. of in relationships i'm unable to. connect sometimes i think sometimes i'm. not able to have certain feelings yeah. because the medicine kind of just leaves.

you in the middle yes so it's like you. don't really get the. feelings you need to create love which. are highs and lows i think the high. level norm always said that he was. wildly depressed and people say you want. some pills he said no i you got to. experience the whole thing even though. it sucks. yeah. well we're out here experiencing it man. um out to lunch right you got it you can. check out the special on youtube please. go check it out if you haven't and uh. mark norman touring and changing his. life dude and owning his stuff while he.

does it man you got that right you got. to own like slavery yeah. if it even happened that's true i think. it's a hoax they never found the boats. you know. um. the holocaust wasn't real that's uh. uh mark norman ladies and gentlemen. thanks for coming man hey thanks for. having me good to be here fatty praise. allah i'll see you on the. that's good road hey all right fun app.